#ironhide punches everyone

[crying-fantasies]

Hold (on to my heart)

Masterlist

CW: blood, murder, curses, hate, power abuse.

Nights in the caves are, really, something else, specially since Martha's garden finally gave something edible.

It's nice, to eat something warm and fresh after so long, canned food and such can only get one so far without feeling sick in mind and body, and don't even get started with the face of absolute horror some bots did after reading what was inside or, worse, what kept the corn in a barely decent consumption state.

It's nice to eat without someone burning their eyes on your back, calling you names.

Martha's corn is little, not really sweet, and mayonnaise or butter could make it more delicious, but everyone eats it to the last grain, part of it has already been stored, the fire where everyone gathered around is, maybe, a beacon of hope, just what everyone needs since Optimus left, and you catch a glimpse of mister Sawyer drying a lonely tear when he looks at a stone at the side.

Ironhide's stone, one he used like a chair.

That was where Ironhide used to come and talk, hell, the bots used to come here with you all, Tommy said maybe it was like looking at a wildlife documentary, but you and the rest have a different approach to it, giving an almost absolute vote of it being because they feel lonely, they feel hunger, they feel cold.

There is so much that can be done in the dessert, or any part the autobots go and so you all do, if you search well enough it isn't that hard to find edible cactuses or other things, with the usual trial and error in between, of course.

Ironhide was the first to tell Optimus to get all the humans back to where they came from, but he was also the first one to take a boulder out of the way to make this campfire site and use the rock as a makeshift chair, at first it looked like he was trying to put you all in one place and Sideswipe almost punched him in the faceplate, but he was also the responsible to moving the hard soil with Hound and Beachcomber so that Martha could grow food, the only one that knew how to live from the earth and not by ready-to-food like the rest of you.

"It's easier for humans to do it, since it's their planet", he said, "at least then we won't bother findin' fuel for them", Sides was ready to let him know his opinion but he was stopped since what the old bot gave you, in reality, was something even better than canned food left to waste.

It's not simple, to follow the autobots, to evade the government, to try and get a hold of whatever that could be usable, you still remember Val and how she found something alien and bring it back, the few energon that thing had was enough to add another two days for everyone, Rosalinde, almost two, could only smile by her sister's enthusiastic face.

It was never easy, when Hoist, relieved for the finding, patted Val's head with utmost delicacy, "You did great", the little girl looked like she won the lottery, very much in contrast to her crying once a military man found your group while looking for rations, Val went far away in the former warzone to find another vial of energon, finding the man in her way and all his group, holding her and telling the little orphan with baseless promises of finding her family with the help of whoever was in power, that he saved her of the horrible aliens as all you could do was move again because they couldn't find the autobots, "humans know what a new human spark would need", that's what Optimus said, and it was what Ratchet repeated to Hoist once he found out to calm him down, Bumblebee was totally against to give Rosa to the people on the near town to care for her, and you all promised to tend to her every need to prevent her from going to fall in their hands, Optimus meant well, you all knew, as all you could give Rosa and Val was the least spoiled food.

"Do he sees us as pets or what?"

"Quiet, kid! Do I need to remind you who saved your ass in the warzone?"

"Well then, I can return to the god-damned civilization because I'm not in debt with the ones that got the war here!"

Most people just go, at the beginning, just like Jimmy, Verity and Hunter, sometimes they stay, just like you, but staying also means to have your face among the most wanted due to "fraternizing with the alien enemy".

But returning would end in indefinite imprisonment, or a very bad interrogation that could turn south very easily, because no one knew of Javier once he got to the nearest town, but you all found him in the wastelands while searching for more supplies, his body, at least, full of bruises and in a terrible state, like he was tortured.

Mr. Duncan called it "a stupid robot hunt to keep the people happy in their madness to vote for them again", Susana said:" Just people showing off, they need some war in order to fill their pockets".

You can only hope Val has something to eat, someone to care, things were hard, as you see your chemically burned fingertips, no more gloves meant direct contact in occasions, Ratchet and Hoist sometimes can't with all the injured, so far the only helping hands they have are you and Mr. Duncan who was a mechanic before the war and before being totally wiped after seeing Optimus Prime himself help him to get out of some debris, transforming in front of him while saving him, they are great, they really are, but alien medicine can only get you so far before you touch real energon, the one running in their lines like blood does in your veins, and getting burned isn't that hard with your hands stopping the leaking in Track's side as Hoist tries to make him see that his wound matters more than his finish.

Sideswipe, ever the gentlemech, came to your rescue when your tearful eyes weren't that easy to hide from him, biting back the sobs and just silently taking it all, maybe that being the reason why his already volatile temper just got to a new level, "I'm going to show that slagger something to whine over", he was furious, not at you, but in what you were getting into, in how you were hiding it even from him.

"It's okay", you said, red eyes and patched fingers, bloody nose and sore throat, low on fluids due to the energon poisoning, "it's okay, I can keep going".

But you can't, not anymore, not because of Sides but because this new bot called Ultra Magnus was sure to keep their law to the T, and Ratchet couldn't do much about it, "it's unprecedented to let an organic know about our general physiology".

"Magnus, I don't have any more help here, and you're shortening it even more?"

"The law must be followed, Ratchet, and we shouldn't have so many injured if our soldiers were able to hold into the designated procedures for those cases".

Everyone have their own reasons to be here, some willing and others not, some do what they can while others just can't anymore, but all in unison rise their cheap plastic cups high and full of homemade alcohol that is sure to burn your liver alive, chanting a "for the ones we lost" before downing it at once, your corn is about to return from your stomach and Mr. Sawyer finally breaks down, crying in his daughter's arms inconsolably.

Men don't cry, you heard once, and it's stupid, maybe real men, the ones that matter, really do cry and bleed.

And maybe is not only about men crying, but showing grief and emotion as a whole, as you remember someone say: "just don't think about it and the pain will go away", or "just think you feel okay and you'll be", it was easier to say than to really do, and even if you did it didn't really change anything.

Maybe the most strong really show what is troubling them, and try to understand it.

Maybe that's why you find yourself walking again to the part of the base Sideswipe has taken for himself, he is just there, sitting, low on energon and spirits since Ironhide's frame was taken back by Ratchet, he looks just like when Sunstreaker-

"Do you hate it?"

At first, you don't know what he is referring to, is it the constant hunger? The scorching sunlight in the day and the cold moonless nights? Being hunted down by your own people? Your own race? There is so much to pick from, but he may only refer to one of them? With a lack of response he makes that sad face again, in the past he did it, as sad as ever or physically possible for him just to joke around, took you a while to notice his playful nature and how to respond to it, but you would give so much to see that kind of expression back to him only as a joke and not the real one in front of you.

"Hate is a strong word".

Since Bumblebee made the deal with the humans, with that guy called Spike, things have been better, but feeling the soldiers' hard gazes have made you all return to the caves from time to time, the last familiar place, the last place where you all saw so many before probably losing them forever.

Val is still missing, no one could track her or what they did with her after they took her away.

Ricardo decided to sell out the bots and play the victim in the news, whining and complaining about being a victim, trying to sell a book of his survival when he wouldn't even be alive if not for Beachcomber saving him from an explosive.

Lucas, Paula and Jocelyn died when those crazy fucks corraled the bots and they tried to stop them like a shield, believing they wouldn't shut them down.

Mr. Sawyer still can't keep a few bites of food down after Ironhide died, his depression hitting another level, or so Miranda, his daughter, said, when his friend returned like a carcass with a hole blasted right through his spark, his heart.

The cries of everyone when Bumblebee, one of the most kind and attentive autobots, one of the better living beings you have ever met, returned with smoke emanating from his body, closed and dead optics, energon spilling from the wound on his chest, as Mr. Sawyer's cries of "not again, please" made more echo in all the people crying, the few people that were still keeping it together before things just escalated more.

The feeling of being burned alive as your fingers put pressure to the many ruptures in the lines, hearing Mr. Duncan curse as his own hands weren't enough to stop the leaking and welding at the same time, being instructed by the supposed scientist and doctor that was in charge to keep Bumblebee alive by just pouring energon inside and letting you two do all the risky job.

Sideswipe's response to your "I hate it" isn't one of surprise, if anything, he is waiting for you to elaborate, "I hate them so much!".

His reaction to your answer brings up the necessity to shut your mouth, but the lock has been molested, and there is just so much you can do once bitting your tongue isn't enough, not even his sad smile, his relief at you finally letting go of what has been eating you from inside out, the low light of his optics on you, blue light that makes your tears shine like tiny sparks embers that fall ominously, like hatred and vengeance that are never to meet an end, the rage of a warrior encased in such tiny frame that does everything in it's power to heal even when there is a gaping black hole in the middle.

His reaction to your tears, to your hysteria, the ones you had to fight back, is nothing but understanding, and he doesn't even flinch when the poison and resentment follow and take control.

"I wish they end up dying there!", you remember their faces, their words full of hatred, you'll never forget them as you all shouted back in how the autobots weren't the ones to get the war to the planet, it was the decepticons who started it, it was the humans who kept at it.

They hated so much, without a base, without a reason, putting all of them in the same group, and were the first ones to shout indignantly once Jazz protected everyone.

"I wish everyone they are related to die too! Stupid genes should just disappear! Their parents! Their kids! It's all rotten!"

You will never forget their faces as they shut down Lucas, just because he was trying to speak with reason, "STOP! Stop! He is injured! Please stop!", Paula got to close for comfort too, apparently, as she was trying to call Spike for help, but someone, a sick fucko, believed her phone was a gun and killed her too with Jocelyn who was only promising the already on edge autobots that everything was going to be alright before her blood was flying in their direction.

"I want them to disappear"

Once your hatred is placating, finally being able to let yourself say all the bad things that have been bottled down for so long, your sadness takes over, and Sideswipe offers his servo to cradle you near as your tears and sobs aren't stopping, increasing to the point breathing is hard and you're almost choking back cries and shouts, holding for dear life to him, your screwed nails digging on the crevices of his faceplate and neck guard as he holds your body with both servos to that tiny and warm place in the junction of his helm and his neck guard.

A safe place, where his body overlaps yours, his engine and the power on it a silent promise that he is strong enough to fight for you both, increasing with your cries and the goosebumps, an answer to his EM field, telling you "I'm here, I'll protect you", your physical reaction, your way to show him "I feel you, I know" when his digits pass over your skin so delicately.

It was a trial and error these years, laughing hard when his anger made your hair stand up, give comfort when you didn't feel much, feeling overwhelmed and all little hair up when he was playful and happy.

Feeling out of your body when he was trying to comfort you.

"I want this to end"

"I miss them so much"

"If I ever know who made that gun!"

"Please don't leave me too"

"I want them in pieces!"

"Don't ever let me go"

Next thing you knew, Sideswipe was trying to wake you up, saying something about a "I'll see you later" that was barely registered as your eyes were too swollen to see him right, the coldness in the base is too strong and makes you hold the blanket he left above you, is it late? Why is he saying that? When did you fall sleep and when did he let go of you? You can barely think straight, the alcohol doing an inside mess, Sideswipe holding you near again, the best you both could do for a hug, you could only do so much with your head all foggy and painful as he left you to rest, that sensation of vibration as you're swallowed inside his EM field again, nuzzled by his faceplate, the light of his optics showering you, barely alert to give back the hug, holding to his olfactory ridge and making him chuckle, smiling back, hearing him happy after so long, if only for a minute, feeling him gone the next and holding the blanket close, preserve his digits' feeling above you, his warmth enclosed in that blanket for as long as it could be.

Hours later, and the next thing you know is that most autobots are gone, everyone is sitting in the dinner salon of the Skywatch's base, watching the news, your relief of Bumblebee once again on his feet is washed away once someone tell you that Sideswipe left with Optimus to Cybertron.

One hour later, and you're left to question yourself what comes next, holding the blanket to your body, and realizing that it's the vicuna one you bought, and that Sideswipe left the paper crane you gifted him years ago just next to your sleeping body, as you ask yourself what you could have said in your intoxicated pain that made that hot head take his few things and go to a barren and deadly planet once again, trying to comfort yourself that it wasn't caused by something you said.

But that monster in your head says otherwise, telling you that if you lost Sideswipe too was because you showed your pain and grief, everything is your fault.

It's all your fault, and Sideswipe will never come back, either by being shot where you can't help him or by finally realizing you aren't that different from other humans.

"Humans are all the same", Sunstreaker once said when he tried to brush you off, and maybe he was right about you.

Do you even recognize who you're now?

[theoceanoasis]

Fairy Tale AU with Soundrod! Soundwave being told of a beautiful mech placed under an enchanted sleep and, curious, he goes to the castle where the mech (Hot Rod) slumbers. He ends up kissing Hot Rod and breaking the curse with True Love's First Kiss but the credit goes to another mech (Getaway?) instead.

Hot Rod ends up betrothed to the other mech, even though he feels attracted to Soundwave for reasons he can't explain yet. Soundwave is jealous of the fact he can't marry Hot Rod but wants Hot Rod to be happy, at the end of the day, so he still says nothing. Only time he speaks up is when he realizes Hot Rod is being hurt by the other mech and comes to his aid, and ends up proving he's the one who awoke Hot Rod somehow.

There were once two kingdoms. The kingdom of Iacon which was ruled by Optimus Prime and the kingdom of Kaon which was ruled by Megatron. The two kingdoms lived mostly in peace until one day a curse was placed on Optimus son.

His name was Hot Rod and he was the most beautiful mech in all the land. One day he was cursed when someone placed him in an enchanted sleep. Where the only way for him to wake was by being kissed by his true love.

Everyone immediately blamed the kingdom of Kaon. Believing Megatron had ordered the curse to be placed on Hot Rod. In retaliation the two kingdoms went to war.

His sire sent out a call to all his people asking them to come and help their prince. With the promise that Hot Rod would marry whoever woke him.

Autobots from all across the land came to the castle eager to see if they were the ones who could break the curse. But none were worthy. Every day more and more people came only to leave dissapointed.

As time went on Optimus began to worry that Hot Rod would be stuck forever.

He easily moved through the crowd while disguised as a guard. With so many people coming to the castle now was the perfect time to learn the Autobots plans.

He snuck through the gate with the rest of the crowd and followed them inside. With everyone distracted by the idea of kissing the prince he broke away from the crowd and began looking around.

Mostly hiding in the shadows he found himself searching each room. He didn't know how long he was there but after collecting some vital information. He walked towards the main entrance where he'd come through.

Noticing the gates were closed he realized he'd stayed too long. Hearing footsteps approach he quickly hid.

Looking around he needed to find a place to lay low so no one got suspicious. He wouldn't be able to escape until morning. When he could blend in with tomorrow's crowd all eager for a chance to become royalty.

Moving through the halls he could hear Optimus and his head guard coming his way. Without looking he entered the first room he found which happened to be Hot Rods.

He froze staring at the beautiful prince who was laying in his bed. His hands together and on his chest and his lips plush and ready to be kissed.

He stepped foward. Spark racing as he looked down at the prince. He should have killed him. He knows it's what his father would have wanted. Even though they didn't curse the prince Megatron still wanted to hurt Optimus and killing his son was the best way to do that.

Instead of drawing his dagger and slitting his throat. He found himself leaning down and kissing the prince.

He immediately felt a weird tingling sensation from his lips to the rest of his body. The air seemed to shift as magic filled the air.

"What are you doing!?"

He jumped looking over in surprise when he saw a guard.

"You're not supposed to be in here."

Realizing his cover was blown he shoved the guard to the side and ran out ignoring his shouts to stop.

He ran through the castle trying to find a way to escape through the maze of hallways. He had just turned the corner when he felt something hit him hard.

He fell backwards looking up in confusion to see Lord Optimus and his head guard looking down at him. Ironhide glared having punched him in the face.

He felt disoriented as he was grabbed and forced to his feet, which made the room swim. Optimus pushed past them looking worried about his son. While he was dragged to the dungeon and locked up after his identity was revealed.

Outside he could hear people cheering and celebrating. Confused he moved closer to the bars and listened to the guards talk.

"Prince Hot Rod is awake."

"Who woke him?"

"Getaway. After he caught Soundwave trying to hurt our prince. He checked him over for injuries and so enchanted by his beauty he leaned down and kissed him."

He backed up having heard enough. His mind was racing as he listened to the others celebrate.

He thought about the tingling sensation he'd felt when kissing Hot Rod and wondered if he was the one who woke him.

He looked around trying to find a way to escape. Hot Rod should be marrying him instead, not Getaway. He was angry that he'd taken credit for what he did and leave him to rot in a jail cell.

He fantasized about punching Getaway in the face and taking Hot Rod for himself. The idea kept him going as the guards treated him terribly often taunting him and refusing him food.

Finally he managed to break out of his cell and escape the dungeon he'd been trapped inside.

He stole the guards uniform and disguised himself as one of them. Sneaking back into the palace he made sure to be more careful. Not wanting to get caught this time.

He'd just made it to Hot Rods door when he heard him inside talking to his mechs in waiting. Hearing his voice for the first time he felt a jolt go through his spine and he went to reveal himself when he listened to what he was saying.

He froze with his audial pressed against the door feeling his spark sink. Even though Hot Rod was his true love he was still an Autobot. Both their parents would never accept their union. No matter how much he wanted to reveal himself and take Hot Rod for himself.

He knew their relationship would never work out. Hot Rod was an Autobot and he was a Decepticon. He'd be better off marrying Getaway.

With a heavy spark he forced himself to leave. He went back to Kaon and forced himself to forget about Hot Rod.

His sire who'd been worrying ever since he was captured embraced him. Relieved that he was mostly unharmed.

Listening to his sire talk battle strategy he found it hard to focus as he continued to think about Hot Rod despite himself.

He tried to focus on other things in the hopes he'd forget about Hot Rod. He buried himself in his work hoping to distract himself and it seemed to be working. He managed to ignore the pull on his spark begging him to go back and take him for himself.

Then one day he overheard people gossiping about Hot Rods bonding which was tomorrow. He'd stiffened immediately going to his office which he trashed in a fit of rage.

He couldn't stand the idea of Hot Rod being bonded to someone else and decided to go see him.

He knew it was risky but he needed to see him one last time before he was Getaways forever.

Going to the city of Iacon was a lot harder this time around. With the bonding taking place tomorrow they didn't want any Decepticons to ruin it.

He ended up having to go through the woods while disguised as a hunter living in the woods. He wore a cloak that hid his face and made his way to the palace trying to think of a way inside.

He was distracted when he heard beautiful singing coming from nearby. Unable to resist he found himself following the voice until he was led to Hot Rod. He was sitting on a log singing a haunting melody filled with mourning. Which he thought was odd for someone about to be bonded.

He found himself moving closer. Wanting to be near the prince, when he stepped on something that startled Hot Rod. He quickly turned around in surprise and wiped the tears from his optics.

He looked at him in shock taking in the marks on his body. He immediately became furious demanding to know who hurt him and already planning vengeance .

"Who did this to you?"

His engine growled and Hot Rod gave him a confused look.

"This... It's nothing."

He quickly denied hiding his face.

"Was it Getaway?"

He looked at him in surprise.

"How did...?"

"You can't bond to him. Not when he hurts you."

"I don't have a choice. He's my one true love."

Hot Rod looked like he was about to cry when he said that and he knew he had to do something.

"That's not true."

"What?"

"I was there. Getaway didn't kiss you I did."

He revealed himself and Hot Rod gasped taking a step back he almost fell until he caught him.

"I don't understand. Why are you here? How are you my true love?"

"I know you have no reason to believe me especially because our people are at war but give me a chance to prove it to you."

Hot Rod looked unsure until he finally relented.

"Okay prove it to me."

He looked into Hot Rods optics that looked at him with hope. He really hoped he was right not wanting to crush Hot Rods dreams that he might be free of that monster.

Leaning in he kissed him and everything suddenly felt right. The two clung to each other as they made out feeling that same tingling sensation.

It was amazing and kissing Hot Rod felt like coming home. When he pulled away he didn't go far both of them occasionally kissing each other.

"Come with me."

He held out his hand and Hot Rod hesitated for a moment. He glanced back in the direction of his palace and then took his hand.

"Okay."

He kissed him again and then took him away back to Kaon where he announced that he would be marrying Hot Rod and if anyone had any complaints they could shove it up their aft.

[earthstellar]

this is probably TMI but the only thing keeping me from losing my fucking mind from all my boob soreness since I had to pause HRT is thinking about how Prowl is absolutely struggling with this every day into forever

shout-out to large boobed space robots, but especially Prowl, the most large boobed of them all

someone punches him in the left headlight and he just screams a little before returning fire with one arm draped over his chest and everyone can hear Ironhide laughing hysterically over the open comms in the background

"the damage ain't that bad, get back out there"

Ratchet, who is also large boobed, starts yelling at Ironhide over the comms while he sends First Aid to assist lmao

"I don't want to hear it from you, Ironhide! Don't think I forgot about you limping into the medbay yesterday after you stepped on some debris, big strong bot can't handle a splinter!"

the twins start laughing at Ironhide and Ratchet yells at them to shut up too lol

big boobed robot solidarity

holy fuck Praxians having a headlight shattered must hurt so fucking bad though, real talk

anyway thank u Transformers for distracting me from sore boob

[toaarcan]

One of my favourite Transformers-related videos on the Internet is Empire Wreckers' 40 minute-long Bayverse analysis where they ultimately conclude that the Bayverse is a version of the setting where the Autobots are evil, the Decepticons are, if not good, then at least better, Megatron, Sentinel, and the Fallen were collaborating on a plan to kill Unicron, and the Decepticons' disdain for humanity is ultimately justified as we're literally the flies on giant robot space Satan's mechanical asshole.

The movies are full of plotholes. The Autobots first arrived in 2007, except no they didn't, they were here before, and also they were involved with multiple human wars, and actually they seem to have been fighting on opposite sides (Optimus is depicted with the British Empire, while Ironhide and Hound are shown fighting with their American and French enemies), that's fucking weird... except pretty much everything we're told about the Cybertronians' history with Earth is told to us by Optimus... who could easily be lying.

Optimus tells us something, and then another movie comes along and reveals that what he told us wasn't true.

The Autobots and Decepticons arrive here, and while the Decepticons retain their freakish, monstrous appearances, the Autobots style themselves as hideous metal caricatures of us. We see the Autobots in protoform in the first movie, they don't start looking like us.

And then there are the alternate modes. The Autobots turn themselves into gleaming, flashy, status symbol cars. Optimus makes himself into a big truck but he only ever pulls a trailer two or three times in the entire saga, and his trailer is mostly just a storage rack for all his extra guns and other various weapons.

Meanwhile, the Decepticons choose modes that are fit for the task. They need to excavate or salvage something? Construction vehicles. Military strike? Military vehicles. Detective work? Cop car. When Megatron finally takes an Earth mode in the third movie, he turns into a tanker truck, and what's he actually doing in that movie? Feeding Decepticon children. He's literally bringing food to his kids. The only time we see a Decepticon turn into a douchey sports car, it's because Soundwave is working alongside a douchey rich guy with a collection of douchey sports cars.

The Autobots are also hyper-violent assholes. Skids and Mudflap are constantly starting fights with each other. When Optimus isn't around, Bumblebee, Crosshairs, and Drift are at each other's throats immediately. And when they actually fight their enemies, they dispatch them in the most horrifically brutal ways possible. Optimus' penchant for mutilating faces is a meme, but he's not the only one performing Mortal Kombat fatalities on everyone he fights. Bumblebee gets in on the action too, ripping Rampage's arms off, tearing Ravage's spine out, and punching his arm cannon through Soundwave's torso before blowing his head off.

By contrast, when the Decepticons go for killshots, they prefer to simply shoot their targets in the spark. They also take prisoners, which the Autobots don't, and pretty much all of them are loyal to Megatron. Even frequent backstabbers like Starscream and Shockwave are pretty much entirely loyal- Starscream's biggest act of treachery is to... retreat when the battle is lost in the first movie. That's it.

There's a lot more to this video than just this, I highly recommend watching it.

[mycarhasasecret]

Hello. How Bubmblebee, Bulkhead, Jazz, Ironhide and Jet Twins (all from tfa) would react on their human S/O constantly annoying Sentinel with "your mom" jokes?

Lmaooo

Bumblebee

Joins in. No question. His jokes are either fantastic (rare) or terrible. He hits you (and everyone else he knows) with some of the best/worst zingers you’ve ever heard. No one is safe from his reign of terror. Having the two of you together in a room is a nightmare.

Bulkhead

He doesn’t really get it. Puzzles over it for a long time. He doesn’t even have a mom. And even if he did, he’s not sure any of what you just said is true. Unless you mean the allspark? But what you just said isn’t true of the allspark either. He gives one his best shot and misses the mark badly. But he feels better when you encourage him and tell him he’ll get the hang of it.

Jazz

Jazz is a master at rolling with the punches. He just kind of goes with it for a while, laughing when you laugh. But eventually he’ll ask you to explain why you make that same joke all the time. It’s up to you how far you want to explain it. He takes it in stride no matter what, seeing it as just another unusual but fun piece of Earth culture

Ironhide

He takes pot shots at other people’s moms with the best of ‘em. He fumbles a bit at first, having no concept of a “mom”. But he eventually catches on as he’s exposed to more and more earth culture and thinks it’s hilarious.

Jetfire/Jetstorm

They get it. Kind of. Sort of. The just kind of say a random phrase that fits the formula and slap “your mom” on the end of it. Then they practically die laughing. It’s funny to watch, even if only because their laughing is so infectious. They’re having a good time. Who can fault them for that?

[sukuna-kinnie]

[Ironhide x human reader part 2]

You still weren’t quite sure about Ratchet’s plan, all he did was give you instructions on what to wear. You were instructed to style your hair nicely as well as wear makeup. The outfit consisted of a red blouse that displayed your cleavage along with a black short and tight fitted skirt that allowed you to show off the majority of your legs. Although the most embarrassing part of it all was when he instructed you to wear your best lingerie, you didn’t even think the Autobots would know anything about that. This all was different from your usual jeans and buttoned-up blouse outfits, not to mention the black high-heeled shoes you were wearing were making it harder for you to be comfortable. Somehow you managed to walk into base without tripping. Upon entering the base you were greeted by Bumblebee who stood before you in a thinking motion as he looked you up and down. “Looking good girl!”, Bee’s radio chimed. You bashfully thanked him for the compliment before making your way towards Ratchet who appeared to be talking to Optimus. They stopped their conversation upon noticing you. “Greetings Y/N, I hope all is well, especially regarding Ironhide’s behavior yesterday”. The prime’s statement caused you to give Ratchet a questioning glance. “There’s no need to feel shame Y/N, we all took notice of Ironhide’s affections towards you and we see no harm in it, which is why we are all willing to support you and help with the plan”. With that, you smiled feeling moved by the prime’s statement. “Alright! What’s the plan then?”, you asked feeling a bit more motivated. “The usual, give us our mission, while you do that I and the others will attempt to make him jealous”, Ratchet explained. You gave him the ‘Are you serious’ look. “Well there’s more, but it’s a surprise”, Ratchet stated with a wink. You rolled your eyes at him, before shouting for everyone to get in position as you pulled out your work tablet that Lennox would email the bot’s missions through. With the little bit of confidence you had, you swayed your hips as you walked between the lines of Autobots. “Alright, Bumblebee you will be guarding cargo with Lennox”, you stated. “Whatever you say hotshot”, you paid no attention to Bumblebee’s response and proceeded to tell Sideswipe his mission. “Sideswipe you get to join Lennox and Bumblebee as well”, “As you wish pretty lady”, Sideswipe responded. One of Ironhide’s canons could be heard starting up, which caused Optimus to give everyone a signal to tone it down. You turned your attention towards towards Optimus and Ratchet. “Optimus, you and Ratchet will be meeting with the president to discuss certain matters concerning humanity's safety”. “Will do, Y/N”, Optimus responded, “you should come with us, your presence would certainly make the meeting tolerable”, Ratchet added. “We shall see on that one”, you replied while lightly chuckling. As you made your way towards Ironhide, you could tell he looked a bit upset, like he was ready to punch someone. However, his gaze softened when his eyes fell on you. Your heart ached as you remembered Ironhide’s rejection, but you shook it off and with the best assertive voice you could muster you read the email. “Ironhide, you will be assisting…”, you stopped, not sure if you were reading it correctly. “You will be assisting me with organizing weaponry…”. Before Ironhide could respond to that, Optimus called all the Autobots to huddle in a circle. “I wish the best of luck to all of you on your missions”, Optimus started. “Is my mission supposed to be some kind of joke!”, Ironhide exclaimed to which Ratchet quickly nodded his head. Ironhide glared daggers at Ratchet, not appreciating his response. Optimus interrupted by stating, “I had personally asked Lennox to let you have a day off, so you can talk things through with Y/N”. “Why? There’s nothing to discuss with her! What do you guys even expect me to do with her?!”. Before Ironhide could continue ranting, Bee’s radio chimed in, “Sha-la-la-la-la-la, don’t stop now, don’t try to hide it how you want to kiss the girl”.

“Ayo Bee, ain’t that from the little mermaid”, you shouted from afar. Bee peeked his head out of the circle and gave you a thumbs up for correct. “As Bumblebee suggested in the song, we are all aware you love Y/N and it’s about time you admit that”, Optimus sternly stated before leaving base with the rest of the Autobots. All but Ratchet left to go to their missions. Ratchet placed his hand on one of Ironhide’s shoulders as he brought his face next to Ironhide’s ear to whisper something. “You are not the only one who adores Y/N, any of us would love to have her as a little sparkmate. So it’s quite a shame that you are trying to deny her, especially with how much she loves you. So much so to the point where she was willing to go along with our silly plan, even going as far as to wear lingerie to gain your attention.” Ratchet didn’t even bother waiting for a response and walked off to join Optimus. Once you were sure everyone had left the base, you spoke up. “So…you ready to start on that mission Ironhide?”. Ironhide said nothing, he didn’t even bother to turn towards your direction. “I’ll just…go ahead and start on our mission”, you stated quietly while trying to contain the tears that were threatening to spill out. His behavior towards you currently truly was making your heartache in the worst way possible. You had no reason to believe your Autobot friends would purposely lie to you, but you can’t help but think maybe they were wrong and that you and Ironhide’s relationship will never be the same again. Before you could walk too far off, Ironhide finally spoke up. “That mission they gave us was just a setup to get us alone together, so don’t bother with that”. You weren’t entirely surprised since you knew they had something planned, that now just left you confused on what exactly you were supposed to do. “They think I’m concerned about what they will think of me. I could care less what they thought of us, my pride is nothing when it comes to you”, Ironhide stated matter-factly. “Then why did you reject me?”, you asked softly. Ironhide finally turned to your direction and the look he gave you was full of love, but also that of sorrow. “I’m scared Y/N, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt you or even worse if the Decepticons get their hands on you. I rather die or even bow down to the likes of Megatron than have you in harm's way.” His explanation left you slightly speechless and all you could do was ask Ironhide to lift you. Ironhide allowed you to climb onto his hand and once he knew you were secure he walked to the nearest wall and slowly sat down with his back against the wall. He then proceeded to lift his hand to his shoulder, allowing you to climb onto it. After situating yourself on his shoulder you spoke, “You’ve always been gentle with me and treated me as your equal…I know you won’t hurt me, besides it is thanks to you that I have not died by that Decepticon’s hand and even get to be here with you guys”. Ironhide hummed at the memory of how you two first met. He could tell you were scared as the Decepticon held you captive, but despite that you kicked and thrashed, even managing to kick one of the Decepticon’s eyes. The kick to the eye, fortunately, did enough damage for the Decepticon to be distracted long enough for Ironhide to shoot him in the face and save you. Ironhide was so impressed by your actions that afterward he asked if you’d join the Autobots, while also promising you safety. It was after that day that the two of you were inseparable. Ironhide took a deep breath before speaking, “I’m sorry Y/N, I shouldn’t have rejected you over something like that and to make up for it I’d like to ask…will you be my sparkmate?”. “Of course!”, you responded before giving Ironhide a peck on the cheek. There was a comfortable silence between the two of you as you nuzzled your heads together until Ironhide remembered he had something to ask you. “Y/N, what is lingerie?, Ratchet mentioned that you were wearing it for me, but I don’t even know what the hell that is”.

[fictional-love-is-my-life]

I really thought the Decepticon dating hc's were informal and cool. So may i get headcanons for what kind of bots would the bayverse autobot faction be into this time? What are the specific traits or qualities they would like or find attractive for their partner to have?

Most of the bots are attracted to nice, sweet, kind personalities. They like the sweet bots that like to help them out and do good deeds.

Some like a little more sass and energy.

Hound likes strong bots who declare their strength and like to prove themselves to everyone. He likes going for the taller bots.

Crosshairs likes a bot who is not a pushover. However, he also likes them a little shy, just because he loves to see them melt when he flirts with them. He likes the effect he has when he can make them blush with some simple affection. He likes bots who are smaller than him, but he can also date someone his size. He won't date someone taller. He also wants someone pretty, like a sports car or motorbike frame.

Bee likes bots like him, someone kind and sweet, and someone who has a sense of humor. Bee will date any height or size and frame type.

Hot Rod likes sassy bots who will flirt back with him. He wants someone who can make him feel flustered just as much as he can make them melt. He's not too fussed about their looks, he can find most frame types attractive. However, he is more keen on the frames who take on sports cars like him.

Optimus likes someone loyal and dependable. He tends to go for bots more mature like him.

Drift likes the calm quiet types, but someone who can also pack a punch. He also likes the educated, someone he can have a nice conversation with.

Ratchet also likes someone educated. But he also likes to have someone he can have fun with, someone with a kind heart who wants to help their friends when they are sad. He doesn't care about frame type or looks, he only wants their personality.

Ironhide like Hound wants someone strong, someone who could easily kick his aft but won't because they like him. He wants someone who can protect themselves. He wants a largely built bot,.

[problematicbots]

Unhinged TFA Movie predictions that I came up with that probably won't come true:

- there a running gag on the movie where Ironhide get thrown out or punch far by Bulkhead everytime he try to kick out Bulkhead of the crew so he can join

-Sentinel prime go mall shopping with Optimus and does his nails and may or may not let him nerd out in the Mall's library.

-Sari get lost in under ten minute in while on Cybertron and Bumblebee have to find her but also got lost. Their whole B plot is them being lost on Cyberton and getting into unnecessary bs.

-Ultra Magnus dies because Jazz accidentally unplugged his Life support so he can listen to some tunes. But since it was Jazz and everyone loved Jazz so the blame fell on somebody else who probably want revenge but would be see by the narrative as evil.

-Blurr come back to shoot Shockwave with a gun and the rest of the cons. Yet this anger Optimus who think they should get a fair trial and progress to chase after Blurr with Bulkhead behind him.

-Cliffjumper is partying because he isn't the first one to died for once in his life and he immediately get squished by a falling Ironhide.

-Sentinel prime realized he don't know what what the fuck to do with all this control and surveillance since the con are dead yet he afraid to take it down since Blurr is still out there killing random people who screwed him and even after that is settled, he not sure he should take down surveillance once everything is peaceful. so Sentinel process to have a anxious breakdown when alone in his office at least he think he's alone but Ratchet end up witnessing it and kinda of feel bad for him so kinda of side next to him to give him a little chat.

-Optimus finally catch up with Blurr but Blurr is like "I got the power of God bitch", pull out all spark and suck somehow suck Optimus and Bulkhead into it. Lucky Bumblebee and Sari who are no longer lost saw it and run to Ratchet.

- So Ratchet, Jazz, Bumblebee, Sari, and Sentinel have to spend the rest of the movie trying to take down this bloody-thirsty Blurr killing innocent people on the streets while trying to get Optimus and Bulkhead out from the all spark

[autobot2001]

The Anger They Feel

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: Transformers Rating: T Warning: Talk of poor mental health Pairing: Drift X Jamie (OC) Description: Seeing how upset Jamie is results in a few Autobots and two human friends ranting about her situation, and hating how there's little they can do to help.

Day 8; @augustofwhump; trap, attack @augusnippets - path of comfort; friends, found family

Several Autobots, using their holoforms, and a few of their human friends watch Crosshairs and Drift walk down the hallway. Drift is carrying Jamie, who is upset. Optimus knows the events before their return, yet it's simple for all to deduce. "I hate there's nothing we can do," Ironhide starts. "I could —," Sunstreaker tries to say. "No! You were told why that's a bad idea." "It's not like they treat mental health better here, but it's so fucked up what Jamie deals with," Cade says. "Add there's nothing anyone can do," Vivian comments, "I hate how we have no ideas but I have learned it wasn't any better on Cybertron before the war started." "No, but at least it was easy to get away from such bots once we were old enough," Sideswipe says, "we know Jamie has disabilities, and it's fragged up she's afraid to show us, but it's even more fragged up this is being used against her. Even if we're kept out of the loop. We know enough." "Indirect attacks on her mental health and, I'd say, occasional traps to make her talk to allow the opportunity to attack her mental health. False concern," Rung comments, "that's all they tell me. I am unaware of any specific things said to Jamie." "So we just watch her hurt, then?" Ironhide punches the metal wall. We know how this is affecting Crosshairs and Drift. They refuse to disclose anything to us, thinking it's protecting us." "That's what they think they're doing when we feel the same anger. They think they're protecting us from feeling sadness," Rung points out, "we can still support them. I know I feel like nothing is helping them. Crosshairs and Drift feel they're not helping Jamie." Optimus decides this is enough ranting and declares the conversation over. He goes to check on the three friends everyone is talking about.

Crosshairs and Drift struggle to calm Jamie. She waited until they got to the shared bedroom to cry. The two don't want visitors but agree to see who's at the door. Optimus is concerned about hearing Jamie cry. What the frag happened? He questions. He knows he's not much help, but Optimus can't leave until he knows Jamie is calm. He watches Drift struggle and Crosshairs hating there's not much he can do to help.

It's a difficult ten minutes before Drift can lie on the bed with Jamie. Crosshairs lays with them. It's another five minutes before she's quiet. The three mechs wait until she's asleep. "How often does this happen?" Optimus asks. "Crying like this is seldom," Drift answers, "but she has been crying often." "We need to keep her away from home, but we've tried that several times," Crosshairs adds, "there's not much else we can do. She knows how much her friends love her. We're more like a family—a found family." Optimus nods. Despite concern for their mental health, he understands it's pointless to remain in the room. Before exiting the room, he informs the two mechs of the others' willingness to help. Hoping Crosshairs and Drift will let the others help in any way they can.

[kagebros]

Excerpt from You are my Knight - Chapter 26

(This scene takes place right after the Bumblebee movie end credits scene. Full chapter can be read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47294623/chapters/132049703#workskin)

San Francisco, 1987

It’s silent when the Autobots land in San Francisco. Optimus and Bumblebee watch from the forest floor as the Autobots enter the atmosphere, their escape pods lighting up in bright balls of flames before landing in the forest a few hundred feet in front of the two. Optimus and Bumblebee make their way through the forest, passing by trees as they draw closer and closer to the crash site. They reach one pod and the door pops open, Ironhide clambering out.

“Glad you made it, Ironhide,” Optimus says with relief. 

“You sure picked a hell of a spot for us to land,” Ironhide replies. Bumblebee makes a noise with his radio. “B-127,” Ironhide nods. 

“It seems his name is Bumblebee now,” Optimus informs. Ironhide only nods in reply and the group slowly grows, Ratchet exiting his escape pod next and then Wheeljack, Arcee and Mirage. “It’s good to see all of you,” Optimus says. 

“This is… interesting,” Arcee says, looking around. “It’s so quiet,“ she says.

“That is something you will get used to,” Optimus replies. “Bumblebee and I have discussed our next course of action now that we have all gathered here safely.”

“What about the others?” Mirage asks. 

“I will be emitting a signal throughout our stay here if any other Autobot lands on Earth. But for now, we must find shelter and a place to hide. Many of you will need to find altmodes to blend in with the vehicles here.” The Autobots nod before Optimus and Bumblebee transform. The rest follow after and they quietly approach a used car lot beside a junkyard. Ironhide, Ratchet, Arcee, Mirage and Wheeljack then transform and walk the lot in search of new altmodes. 

Ironhide approaches a red beat up van whereas Ratchet’s optic catches on a broken down ambulance in the junkyard, Wheeljack following suit by scanning a busted repair van beside it. The two transform into their new vehicles. Mirage and Arcee split paths down the used car lot and Mirage whistles as he sees a 1980 Porsche 911. Arcee stops at a 1980 Audi Quattro and scans it. After the five get their altmodes, they quickly meet up with Bumblebee and Optimus outside of the property and drive onto the highway. 

They drive up into the California mountains before stopping at an empty area, devoid of human life. 

The group then transforms and they all sit around in the dark, Ironhide digging a hole in the ground, grabbing a nearby dead tree and crushing it in his servo. He drops the wood chips into the hole and Wheeljack switches his servo into a blowtorch, setting it on fire. As the fire burns, the group sits in silence for a brief moment before Optimus finally speaks up.

“I… have some unfortunate news to share,” Optimus says solemnly. His optics dart to Ratchet and Arcee this time before he holds out his arm and opens a panel. He presses a button and Cliffjumper’s voice begins to play from a voice recording. 

This is Cliffjumper of the Autobot Resistance. I have made my way into Earth’s solar system. Unfortunately I’ve found myself stranded on an outer planet. And I am not alone. I have found two Decepticon signatures that have followed me here and I think they know of my location. I’m outnumbered with no weapons. I won’t make it out of this one. So to any Autobot listening out there, this is my final-

The message cuts to static and Optimus drops his arm, pain in his optics as he’s had to hear it for the 2nd time. Ratchet covers his face with his servos, hiding his expression and Ironhide places a servo on his pauldron in comfort. Arcee’s face goes dark and she gets up from her spot before walking off, punching through a nearby tree. It falls onto the ground with a loud thud, leaving everyone in silence.

After a few minutes of mourning, Ratchet removes his servos from his face and sits up, tired. 

“Do you know where his frame is,” Ratchet asks quietly. Optimus shakes his helm. “Primus,” Ratchet breathes. Arcee returns, exiting from the trees. 

“Do you know who did it?” Arcee asks. Optimus shakes his helm. 

“Bumblebee had apprehended two Decepticons during his stay here, I could only hope that those were the ones that did. If so then… Cliffjumper at least was avenged,” Optimus replies. Arcee looks at Bumblebee this time. 

“Did you rip them apart,” Arcee asks. “Did you make them pay for what they did-”

“Arcee,” Optimus admonishes. Arcee growls.

“They DESERVED it for what they did to Cliff!” Arcee snaps. Optimus sits back, offlining his optics and exventing his frustration. He onlines his optics again with patience.

“I understand you are hurting,” Optimus says gently. “We all are,” he says softly. Arcee huffs, hugging herself as she looks away. A few moments pass as Optimus stares into the fire and he looks up at the Autobots in front of them. “There is something I learned during my time here on Earth,” Optimus says. “There is a human concept called family, much like having a mentor,” he starts. “I believe that is what we are,” Optimus then says. “So please… while we are here, look out for each other.” He shuffles for a moment before standing up. “I am glad you are here with me. All of you.” He walks off before transforming and recharging for the night. As the rest of the Autobots go to recharge, Arcee is the last to stay up, staring at the coals in front of her. Bumblebee makes a small whirr and sits beside Arcee, bumping his helm with hers gently. 

She gives a soft smile as Bumblebee wraps his arms around her in a hug. She hugs Bee back. 

“Thanks, Bee,” Arcee says quietly.

[robotsprinkles]

making a list of all the characters I want to use for the fic/personal continuity stories

most of the characters on this list are either on here because I own a toy of them that has sentimental value or because they had a cool design in the dreamwave more than meets the eye character guidebooks or some other media/toyline (like breakaway and longarm)

(there's a couple who're here because I think it'd be interesting to draw parallels between/use them as foils (like punch and makeshift))

most are also on here because they don't really exist in any significant way in canon so I'm comfortable doing whatever with them

---

(also yeah most of these are micromasters and pcc/bayverse toyline characters.

I'm almost definitely just gonna make them normal cybertronians (the micromasters at least) because "normal vehicle but small" isn't. appealing as a character/group concept to me and I'm not sure how many combiners I want to have in my canon. I'm definitely going to have the g1 combiners. maybe I'll let the dinobots combine as well (haha dinobot favouritism sorry everyone) not sure about others)

(I will also be using more major/established characters like optimus and ironhide and starscream and shockwave and whatnot but I think I'll start with the less established ones to find my footing and figure stuff out)

[quietbluejay]

Scoop&Dreadwing's Excellent Adventure: Director's Commentary

Chapter 5: Reunited

“So this is Cybertron,” said Blackrock, looking out the window. “It looks very metallic.” “Didn’t you have all your memories unlocked?” asked Skywarp. “I locked those memories right back up again,” said Blackrock. “I don’t know who I was as Sovereign, but I don’t like him very much. I’d rather stay as Blackrock.” “You know,” said Scoop, “talking about yourself in that way really isn’t healthy.” Blackrock gave him an incredulous glance. “It’s a whole other personality! And he sucks!” “I hope you can come to peace with yourself someday, Blackrock,” said Scoop.

I did want to dig into this a bit more but didn't have the chance. Ah, well.

“Gee, I wonder why no one wants to live near you people,” Blackrock said dryly. “It’s because of the war,” said Scoop and Dreadwing in unison. “Also the radioactivity,” said Dreadwing. “I was being sarcastic but, wait, radioactivity? You took me to a radioactive planet?” said Blackrock. “It’s fine now, don’t worry about it, everything magically disappeared after Megatron punched the giant Decepticombiner in the face,” said Dreadwing. “I have questions,” said Blackrock. “That’s not how it happened,” said Scoop. “Optimus saved everyone from the Dead Universe trying to swallow reality by using the power of the Matrix, and that somehow healed the planet.” “I have more questions,” said Blackrock. “I don’t have answers,” said Dreadwing. “It was pretty weird.”

This was extremely fun to write. Also both of them were wrong, which I legitimately forgot until I posted this as a snippet on discord and it got pointed out. Ironhide&Sunstreaker: are we a joke to you?

What actually happened was that Alpha Trion set up this radiation cleaning thing and then he resurrected Ironhide to run it, they found Sunstreaker's body and Ironhide got Sunstreaker to help him too over Alpha Trion's objections (Sunstreaker was not fully dead, I must clarify). ANyways the Ironhide miniseries is weird and kind of forgettable.

Favourite bit:

Honestly the above bit tbh.

Also:

Starscream looked at Skywarp. A slightly translucent Skywarp looked back at Starscream. “Hey,” said Skywarp. Starscream shut the door in his face. “Starscream, I’m dying! You need to help me!” Starscream opened the door a crack. There was an awkward pause. “Where have you been?” “That’s a long story,” said Skywarp. Then he remembered he was supposed to be a distraction. Then he remembered that despite his promises and overall wholesomeness, Scoop had not in fact helped him. “You know what, I’ll tell you some other time. You might want to know that your buddy Scoop brought Galvatron’s ship back. Along with some human who’s actually not human.” “With Galvatron in it?!” “No, it was just us,” said Skywarp, then winced. “So you really did go palling around with Galvatron!” Skywarp was beginning to remember why he hadn’t gone to Starscream for help in the first place.

[3mindblast]

Imagine Transformers during Pride month!!!

I'm queer! I love Transformers and think that everyone knows how fucking gay it actually is (not me just simping right now because it's Pride month and I'm feeling emotional), so why not combine it?

Think about it!

Autobots and Decepticons accidentally (or not) show up at a pride parade. They're confused at first,some may annoyed or excited. Then the real fun begins: Optimus Prime leads the parade,making sure that the area in front of them is save; Bumblebee gives free hugs and Ironhide punches those queerphobic people who decided to spread their ignorance! Ratchet carrying a LGBTQIA+ flag he somehow got and asking men (and other people) who are harassing girls (and other people) if they got a problem,making sure to keep them save. Megatron is put in place by a bunch of lesbians and gets to feel how strong humans can be and Shockwave is just confused by the enbys, but gets into conversations with aro/ace folks. Starscream tries to take over leadership of the parade over and over again,but fails every time,somehow managing to get himself a load of bisexual and trans followers. Jazz and Soundwave stand somewhere in the middle battling over who gets to blast his music,while pansexuals try to prevent the Autobots and Decepticons from fighting (every time a fight almost breaks out). The asexuals who were talking to Schockwave encourage and analyse the situation to further their secret plans of taking over denmark, allowing him to analyse them as well. Going further into the asexual lore: Imagine the asexuals teaming up with the Decepticons to come closer to their totally real goal of world domination,but they're actually assisting the Autobots as well!

just something that came to my mind (feel free to add your own thoughts if you want to! I may make this into a story or comic...I would absolutely adore if someone did)

that's all for now,have a good day fellow sentient beings(:

[transformers-art-showcase]

P.A.T.C.H. #7: "Starscream: The Movie"

Most often in comics, continuity is a problem for newbies. If you don’t know what the characters are talking about and what in-jokes they make, is there really a point in recommending the book? Yes, I hear you; this here feature is supposed to help with sorting those messes out, after all. But what if something has such a killer concept you can’t help but blabber on about it? Even to people not into the comic series?

Case in point: a Cybertronian tries to make a movie about Starscream for humans. My mom was sold. Be as cool as my mom!

“Thundercracker in: Starscream: The Movie”

“Optimus Prime” Annual (2018)/“Transformers: Optimus Prime” Volume 5 (upcoming as of this writing) Written by John Barber, pencils by Priscilla Tramontano and Andrew Griffith, colors by John-Paul Bove and Josh Burcham, letters by Shawn Lee

SO WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Starscream, Lord of Cybertron, fed up with his notoriety amongst his subjects, decides on a solution: good old-fashioned propaganda! Having learned of his old wing-mate’s passion for writing, he tasks ex-Seeker Thundercracker with scripting, casting and directing a movie about his life. Who cares if said ex-comrade has only written human soap opera fan fiction and unpublished screenplays so stilted, they would make “Birdemic” green with envy? He’s really into it! Surely, nothing can go wrong!

WHAT DO I NEED TO KNOW? Given that this issue came out in the last year of the IDW Generation One continuity, there are various bits and pieces to consider before diving in, but probably the most important has to do with the evolution of Thundercracker, from Seeker repaint to real boy fleshed-out character. While his goofy and hopelessly optimistic personality is well-established in the series and this here issue completes his origin story, it can’t harm to go over it and pick some highlights.

The fate of Thundercracker –or TC to his friends- has long been intertwined with that of two more famous Decepticon fliers: OG bad boy Starscream and official stair-pusher Skywarp. The first years’ worth of stories weren’t different: the three met Megatron together for the first time in the mini-series “Megatron: Origins”, written by Eric Holmes, penciled by Alex Milne and colored by Josh Perez. His most interesting beat in that story was expressing doubt over burning the city of Kaon, only to be pacified by Skywarp –“Don’t think. Just do it.”, he said. After that, and for the longest time, from the “Autocracy Trilogy” to the “–ations”, the blue jet remained a constant if discreet presence in the Decepticon forces. He was always there, often under Starscream, never in a major role, sometimes uncomfortable with his place.

Still, there were a couple exceptions to this. In “Spotlight: Orion Pax”, written by James Roberts, he was a reluctant underling to mad scientist Bludgeon. He crossed paths with the creepy samurai again much later, in “Spotlight: Thundercracker”, written by John Barber with art by Chee Yang Ong, this time while searching for the original Titans. In that story, he had a change of heart when he found Metroplex, and lied so the ancient Transformer wouldn’t fall into Decepticon hands. In both cases, the further away he stayed from bad influences, the more functional his moral compass became.

The great break from all the above –ironically, inspired by his original toy bio– came with his rejection of the Decepticon cause. In “All Hail Megatron” (written by Shane McCarthy and with art by Guido Guidi), after witnessing the brutalities and monstrosities his side was capable of –namely, razing human cities and creating the Insecticons-, he prevented the detonation of a nuclear bomb and briefly worked with the Autobots. (His reward? Getting shot in the face by Skywarp. Some comradery.) In the next ongoing (look for the stand-alone issue #4, written by Mike Costa, penciled by Don Figueroa, with colors by James Brown and letters by Robbie Robbins), it was revealed that thankfully, he survived, kept barely online on Earth and scavenging for fuel. He also picked up a new best friend: human television! Laugh all you want, but it gave him a new appreciation for humans and their adaptability –couldn’t his own species be like this? While he turned into a reluctant ally to the Autobots, he stayed out of intense battles...

... until he got to work with his new best friends in Season 2 of “Robots in Disguise”: Earth people! Between the regeneration of the planet and Starscream’s rise to power, TC stayed back on the blue marble and got in touch with human anti-Transformer forces, who provided him with fuel and a home. (A gift puppy named Buster sealed the deal and immediately became fealty.) In return, they wanted his services against Autobot invaders, but his love of Earth got in the way of that. What also got in the way was his new calling: writing! Inspired by the years he spent watching TV, he then went on to create totally original and very high quality screenplays, hoping they would lead to a career in film. (They haven’t so far. There’s a reason the Wiki has quotes from “The Room” in his personal page.) Still, eventually things turned out well enough: he helped untangle the mess of allegiances between the Earth Defense Command and Cybertronians and formed an enduring friendship with female Earth human Marissa Faireborn. Not bad for someone whose biggest claim to fame was being the answer to a trivia question –“Who was the first Decepticon shown in active combat in IDW continuity?”

Finally, some minor bits of backstory to make a few character beats land easier. An institute protecting Transformers with “abnormal” powers was first introduced in “More Than Meets the Eye” #11, by James Roberts and Alex Milne. The re-discovery of the Cybertronian Colonies started with the people of Caminus –Windblade, Chromia and Nautica- in “Dark Cybertron”, and they were all immediately integrated into the books –we’ve talked about the first “Windblade” mini here. The dead colony of Prion, shown in “The Transformers” #57 (by Barber and Livio Ramondelli) wasn’t nearly so lucky. The creation of the Council of Worlds for the governance of the surviving ones was detailed in the “Windblade: Distant Stars” mini-series, written by Maighread Scott, with art by Corin Howell and colors by Thomas Deer. After that, colonists such as Aileron (“The Transformers” #44, by Barber, Griffith, Perez on colors and Tom B. Long on letters) joined the action on Cybertron, though not without problems. Oh, and that huge dinosaur was brought online in the “Salvation” one-shot and has been used as an embassy since “Optimus Prime” #13-14 (by Barber, Ramondelli and Long). As it happens.

WHERE DO I GO FROM THERE? Why’d you think I listed all those previous stories above? So that you can go and get ‘em!

Okay, to be less abrasive and more specific, there isn’t that much to get into after this story, but there’s plenty to jump back to. Almost all these minor characters have had memorable stories told about them, so I’m only going to single out some personal favorites and let you decide what you might be into. Fat Fast Tankor’s most memorable outings have been at the hands of Maighread Scott, and it was in the first “Windblade” mini that he and his bestie, Tall Tankor, started getting some attention. For another visit to Alpha Trion, Adorable Old Man (And More), see “Optimus Prime” #10, by Barber, Zama and Burcham. For the amazing life of Richard Ruby, film producer and ex-superhero (no, really), check out “Revolutionaries” #3 by Barber, pencils by Ron Joseph, Sebastian Cheng on colors and Long lettering. Finally, for a story that demonstrates Marissa’s own issues (and just how much of a sweetspark TC is), “New Cybertron” (“Optimus Prime” #1-6) by Barber, Zama, Milne and Burcham has you covered.

But clearly this isn’t why you’re here. You want more of The Artist’s work. For that, head over to the “Transformers Holiday Special” (which we’ve visited before here), for the ten-page story by Barber, Burcham and Long. It is a Christmas story that is children’s storybook by way of Frank Miller, and it might be the best thing in the whole line. In the same trade you’ll find the “Revolution” tie-in issue for the “Robots in Disguise” series, written by Barber, with pencils by Griffith and colors by Thomas Deer. While it’s connected to a much larger event, it’s valuable for seeing how TC evaluates his own work and how he works with Marissa. It is a Hollywood action movie pastiche with a failed screenplay layered on top, and it’s a sweet little tribute to the character. Both of these stories work with similar themes to this one, but expand them in different directions.

IS IT ANY GOOD? It was the culmination of a few years’ worth of stories with an endearing secondary character taking center stage. It offered a sideways look into a fascinating time in “Transformers” comics, through its less important players. It was a funny and poignant look into what can go wrong with any piece of art we create, consume, curate and love (or, more importantly, ignore). It had some exceptional so-bad-it’s-good writing and art. It had a cute puppy in it.

PUPPY! WHO’S A GOOD PUPPY, WHO’S THE BEST PUPPY?! BUSTER IS! YES, SHE IS! Stop baby-talking one of the main characters and concentrate! Here, this should keep you busy!

LIKE A MOVIE STAR WITHOUT MOVIES | THEME AND CHARACTER Strip away all the superficialities, and what is this story about? An artist attempts to create a work of art, and Poe’s Law comes into full effect. His source material is controversial –few people have kind things to say about Starscream. His sources lack credibility –the subject of the movie himself is a liar with a ton of guilt on his shoulders. His production value is low -seriously, I’m having “Pop Quiz Hotshot” flashbacks here. He himself lacks training and discipline, and he and his crew aren’t on the same page –oh, and one of them isn’t paid. He gets preoccupied with details -Megatron had a different frame in “Robots in Disguise”! There goes the suspension of disbelief! He has so little faith in himself that he blindly follows whatever advice he’s offered –is it a commercial or personal work, then? And in the end, no matter his passion and drive for the project, he fails for reasons beyond his control, not even his own mistakes. This kind of story can work only if we’re invested in the mad ambition of its main creator, and TC’s unlucky, stubborn and likeable enough to pull it off. The annual, then, becomes a love letter to art creation in general: a whole lot of people with conflicting ideas try to create something meaningful against all odds. Even if the end product isn’t great, you have to feel for all the effort, the time and energy spent (or wasted) on it, right?

There’s also an extra layer to all this, and it’s specifically about Cracker’s relation to his work. At this point in the series, TC has officially renounced the Decepticons and wants to leave a peaceful life on Earth. This project about one of his former associates makes him ask all sorts of questions: what drove Starscream to do the things he did? How does he handle the unstable political climate after the Autobot victory? Did the War ever mean anything to anyone? And what is there to do after the War? These aren’t easy questions, and the ex-Seeker’s own stance on these issues is complicated by his personal feelings and involvement. This might be a movie about Starscream, but deep down, this is a story about Thundercracker. (This becomes even more apparent when one remembers the two share the same mold.) While the theme of failed or doubtful artists is universal, the specificity of this million-year-long War informs it with extra nuances that enrich an already interesting character portrait.

“Oh man, I just can't figure Starscream out. Sometimes he’s just too smart. Sometimes he’s just flat-out stupid. Other times he’s just evil.”

ENHANCED BY BRAND NEW SPECIAL EFFECTS| ART This whole examination could have ended up dry and boring, but in the hands of penciler Priscilla Tramontano, it gets a life and energy it would otherwise lack. Her greatest strength is the expressiveness she lends to the characters, and so she’s the perfect fit for a story with lots of quick, fully dialogue. Little casual touches and details, like reading glasses or cups of coffee, make the world of alien robots a little more approachable and help ease us into its confused protagonist’s mind. John-Paul Bove’s colors are bright and poppy, but moody in the more serious parts (like TC’s meeting with Dirge and relaxing at the beach near the end). Andrew Griffith and Josh Burcham contribute pencils and colors respectively in two key scenes, one flashback to just before the War and the trailer for a rival production. Their more detailed, somber yet action-oriented style helps draw attention to them, but the overall tone doesn’t shift from the fast-paced comedy and introspection of the whole issue. In any case, the story never loses its sense of wonder: this is a charming, strange little world, and in the increasingly serious main title, this can sometimes fall through the cracks.

However, this is the rare case of a comic whose artistic failings are also interesting in their own way. The scenes shown from “Starscream: The Movie” itself are bad on purpose, and so multiple movie mistakes are recreated in comics form. The lighting is almost always off in most scenes, and in some cases, it’s easy to make a green highlight around the actors –the result of cheap color correction. In another scene, the focus is all wrong, and so “Megatron” and “Starscream” are blurry or stick like sore thumbs from the background. When Thundercracker cannot stage the Decepticon uprising from the first storyline of “Robots in Disguise”, he ends up using archival footage for it –and so the same panels that Andrew Griffith drew for issue #13 are re-used wholesale! While it can be distracting at first, these mistakes become doubly fun when spotted and only add to the joke. (They can also make all amateur filmmakers out there check their equipment twice before starting filming. Never go with auto-focus, people!)

“Hey, everybody! I have an announcement to make!”

AN AWKWARD PAUSE, THEN “WHAT'S MY LINE?”| PLOT AND DIALOGUE But forget pretty much everything I’ve written so far, because the number one reason to read this story is how damn funny it is. And that’s not just for the guilty pleasure of mocking Thundercracker’s work. Sure, the tone-deaf, repetitive dialogue, the hammy acting and the flubs of the final film (poor Waspinator, always a victim) are extremely enjoyable, but that ignores the real back-and-forth of the characters. Even better is how the movie scenes are staged alongside the rest of TC’s discussions and efforts. The issue is expertly paced, each page functioning as a scene into its own, with set-ups and payoffs. When read all together, it’s like a very well-edited movie: it remains fast and doesn’t sag, and the connections between the disparate scenes become apparent on a second read-through. The cyclical flow of the story –it begins and ends with a very similar scene- can be seen as bittersweet and uplifting at the same time, and it made this here reader want to re-read the issue the moment it was over.

One of Barber’s greatest gifts as a writer –owing to his experience as an editor- is his mastery of continuity, but here he also demonstrates a firm understanding of Transformers and pop culture. His cheeky world-building –giant robots make movies, too!- combines satire and Trans-fan practices -repaints are totally a thing!- into one whole. Humans get a lot to do in this world, too, being both friends and potential business partners, in a co-existence that might even bring to mind the days of the original cartoon. My favorite example might be TC’s interactions with a former superhero, prospective film producer and distributor. The practicality of creating and curating a movie clashes wonderfully with the insanity of a sci-fi world and some obscure pop and high culture references. It’s this level of detail and care for all those losers that gives the story a beating heart that is often forgotten when talking about this specific writer’s work.

“You know what they say, ‘Love is blind’!”

THE CREDITS ROLL, THE CAMERA PANS | FINAL THOUGHTS Going over all the things I’ve written so far about this annual, I see that I could still go on. This here read focused on the story from a newbie perspective, because with continuity in mind, there’s a whole other essay’s worth of stuff to unpack! (One could re-interpret it as a Starscream and not a Thundercracker story, in fact!) But even with all that aside, this is a really fun, sweet diversion from the political drama of “Optimus Prime”, a great tribute to the bit players of the franchise and a love letter to the creative process as a whole. Oh, and there’s new jokes to find in, like, every new read! I literally just today remembered Fake!Ironhide’s Southern accent! That stuff’s amazing!

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Transformers Siege (WFC) character review!(1/2)

Instead of separating from decepticons and autobots (mainly because of the Predacons and maximals), I’m going to put them in order of which bots I really feel like talking about the most! So, here we go!

*watch for swearing, spoilers, and possible thirst.

/Also, alt modes will NOT be available for this series. They kinda don’t transform too much, and when they do, they hardly let me get a shot, sooo/

Optimus Prime!!; 

This Optimus did a full 180 for not only my opinion, but for his own characterization. This Optimus started out as impulsive, reckless, ignorant of other’s opinions, and quite frankly, was just frustrating to deal with. He was the one who essentially sent the Cybertron into a total fuck storm, and as such, doomed MANY lives, including the one of his love, Elita one. Honestly, Optimus is kinda. Dumb, honestly? He literally sent the live source of Cybertron into the vastness of space, just to keep Megatron from winning the war. Literally, EVERYONE hated him at the start, from Bumblebee to Ratchet. Then, get this- he learned from his mistakes. From Skylynx, to the Optimus Primal, to the soul of Elita, to Optimus and Ratchet and even Megatron- he had so many influences telling him what he did wrong. Towards the end of the series, he became the classic, noble, somewhat self conscious mech we all grew to know and love. Honestly? 9/10. He isn’t perfect. Far from it, but damn Optimus KNOWS this, and that’s so great- I can go all day, you guys (also that one moment where he asked Megatron to forgive him at gunpoint, such a good fucking scene).

Elita one!!; 

I love her. SO much. She’s a QUEEN. She has been ignored, she has been held hostage, she’s been punched and kicked and shot at-my girl has been through hell. And she carries it WELL. Not only is she FINE, but she is bold, smart, and she is STUBBORN in her beliefs. She is also a natural born leader, and I honestly and really appreciate her. Her death was honestly one of the sadder moments, but her soul’s reunion with Optimus was one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen. I wish we saw more of her, honestly and desperately (plus she has so many character interactions, there’s SO many ways you can go about her character, it’s incredible). 10/10 my girl is a fighter and she was so ride or die for Optimus (even though I lowkey ship her with those three little cons, ya’ll know the ones) 💕.

Megatron!!(Siege);

Every Megatron has something different about them. For example, this series has two Megatron’s (three because Galvatron), but we’re talking about the Megatron that we start the series with. The sort of ‘G1’ Megatron. This Megatron has a few...issues. Lips aside, this Megatron has a few things I’d change about him. He’s insane, he’s incredibly selfish, and honestly? His character interactions leave something to be desired, in my opinion. However, he does have a blend of good traits. You guys remember Prime Wars Megatron? How this man refused to go down without being ‘fuck you’ to his opponent? This Megatron had those moments, telling Galvatron right the fuck off when he tried to present him with a decision to join him. I love a Megatron that refuses to back down. I also appreciated the regret he clearly has for stuff he did (we all remember what happened to that one power plant), and I appreciate that In a Megatron. Couple that with the pompous villain aesthetic (he had his own pictures hung up on a wall for fucks sakes). However, he isn’t my favorite Megatron (that’s a tie between Prime/Prime Wars Megatron). 7/10. Fun in some cases, but not someone I think I’ll deem my favorite Megatron.

Megatron!!(beast wars);

This Megatron was kinda doomed from the start. From the issue with his VA (not everyone can be David Kaye, but still), to the odd way he simped over the other Megatron, kinda made me dislike seeing him on the screen. Don’t me wrong, he wasn’t AWFUL, and like everyone else on the show he LOOKED good and his VA did...okay. Listen, he had a REALLY good simp voice. But beast wars Megatron actually saw the old Megatron as an old fool. Now he suddenly worships him? It kinda makes this Megatron look pathetic, and I’m not really into it. 4/10. I’m sorry, but I appreciated him more when he wasn’t on screen.

Ironhide!!; 

He did like. Nothing in this series. He only really spoke to tell Optimus what he did. He’s just so cute and I liked hearing him speak. Not the same Ironhide voice, but still I love him terribly 10/10 he is but a baby waby.

Sideswipe!!;

He did like, two things in total in this series, and BOTH made me feel something. He also misses his brother Sunny and it honestly hurt me. Someone hold and support him, 8/10 this precious bundle of red-

Skyfire!!;

This Skyfire actually starts off as not only a decepticon, but a HIGH ranking decepticon, pretty much Megatron’s second hand. He was pretty decepticon motivated, up until Megatron decided the whole genocide of an entire race was too much for her. Honestly his role was a LOT like MTMTE Impactor in this series. A close believer changed to the opposite side, because Megatron’s dumbass got carried away. This Skyfire died, but up until that, he was determined to help the cause. He was literally willing to have a bomb implanted into him just to prove he was with the autobots. He was bold, stubborn, and everyone he interacted with was GREAT. 8/10. Tbh, probably my second favorite Skyfire (hard to compete with Cyberverse).

Impactor!!;

Pretty much the first time I’ve seen him in a show (at least noticeably) and I appreciated his little debut here. Impactor betrayed the decepticon, and in the best way possible. Not because he thought the cause was wrong, but because he got a super hot medic boyfriend, who JUST so happens to be an autobot. Seriously, ratchet fixed his booboos and Impactor just went ‘Listen I’d die for you’. Did anyone but Ratchet trust him? Nope. Did Mirage like him? Nope. Did we give a shit because he was very literally, ride or die for Ratchet? Also nope. Like this dude deadass was willing to go through the ‘we don’t trust decepticons’ bullshit, JUST because Ratchet swept him off his feet. 10/10, Impactor didn’t deserve to die, he deserved to be the hostile gay to suit the hostile lesbian that was Blackarachnia. 💜

Ratchet!!;

This Ratchet was like. The ONLY Ratchet I’ve ever seen, who just fucking hated Optimus. Seriously, this dude just wanted to be alone with his husband. Wanted NO part of Optimus, no part of Bumblebee, NO ONE. He’s sarcastic, bitter, and he WILL give you shit over Impactor or any of his patients. He’s a sour/sweet old man and even though I wish I saw him more, I love him and adore him with my big ol’ heart. 9/10, everyone can eat my ass I’m not over Impactor still.

Wheeljack!!;

Chaotic bastard. Smartass, dumbass, gay ass, and the first character to say ‘ass’, I love him. He doesn’t play much in terms of actual plot stuff (he’s like, a support character tbh) but the few times he was on screen, I loved him. It was like someone gave Danny Devito a PHD. 8/10, just needed to be able to give more one liners like he deserved.

[transformerfan97]

I have no idea where this came from? But uhhhh...here have this fic I wrote today on my day off. Should I post a second chapter?

Anyway, sorry for any/all mistakes! Hope you all enjoy! Sorry I posted it on my phone so I couldn't add the "read more" thing!

This is the time that I've just made up for them. I know it's not 100% right but whatever. I got it from TFwiki at least:

Nano-klik: Seconds 

Klik: Minutes 

Groon: Hours 

Cycle: Days

Breem: Weeks

Orn: Months

Vorn: 1 year

Joor: 5 years

Deca cycle: 10 years 

Mega cycle: 50 years

Solar cycle: 100 years 

Stellar cycle: 1,000 years 

_________________________

"So when were you two gonna tell me about this?"

Prowl and Smokescreen looked up from their respective tables towards the door of the rec room. In it stood a very rare sight; a pissed off Bluestreak. His arms were crossed, doorwings held high in agitation, and face scowling. Two more very rare things followed this, Prowl bit his lip and looked to his elder brother and Smokescreen sighed then stood up to be the mature one. 

The rec room went dead silent to watch the trio. Everyone knew the three were brother's, and fights weren't uncommon. However, when a fight broke out it was usually between Smokescreen and Prowl with Bluestreak coming between them. To see Bluestreak mad at one was rare. If he was, he'd usually ask to speak with said brother privately, and sometimes he'd ask the other to join. To see him this mad, and at both, enough to approach them in a public setting? Something big happened.

"Blue-"

"When was I supposed to find out? Next time we see him? Or when he's dropping off his new sparkling? Or when the bot is dropping off a sparkling to us? Or, or, in a few hundred or thousand solar cycles when we run into a bot that looks just like us?!" Bluestreak growled. "Because you know that's how it'll happen!"

"Bluestreak!" Smokescreen yelled, "he's on his way to visit, and the bot is comin' with him."

Bluestreak's optics went wide at this, "Wh-what-? How do you know?"

"Because he told me."

"Oh of course he did." Prowl growled. 

Smokescreen rolled his optics and turned towards his middle brother. "He wanted it ta be a surprise for you two, and me. I didn' know the bot was comin' with until Jazz showed me the flight list." 

Bluestreak glared and Prowl rolled his optics. Smokescreen just threw his hands in the air and huffed. 

"Doesn't explain why you didn't tell me about the bot." 

"Because we knew you'd react exactly like this Bluestreak." Prowl waved a servo towards him, "cause a public scene, bring our family's personal business into the light, and throw a temper tantrum." Prowl scoffed at his little brother.

Bluestreak's optic twitched and he snarled, "you wanna see a temper tantrum Prowl?" He aimed his shoulder canon at his elder brother and growled, "I'll give you a fragging temper tantrum!"

Prowl's optics went wide at this. Red Alert, First Aid and Perceptor quickly jumped up and away from the table. 

"Bluestreak don't you-" before Prowl could finish Bluestreak fired a shot at his brother. Smokescreen grabbed the bot and pulled him out of the way before it could hit him. When Prowl looked back at his chair his optic twitched when he saw it sparking from the static shock his brother shot at him. He turned back to scream at said brother, but was punched in the mouth. Smokescreen grabbed Bluestreak's shoulders and pulled him back. Bluestreak struggled for a minute before he slammed his helm back against Smokescreen's chin. Smokescreen lost his balance and stumbled. Before he could catch his balance Bluestreak tackled him to the ground. 

"You- punch- two- punch- never- punch- tell- punch- me- punch- ANYTHING!" Bluestreak screamed in Praxian as he repeatedly punched Smokescreen's face and chassis. 

Prowl tackled his younger brother and held his arms down and pinned his legs with his knees. He glared at the struggling bot below him until Bluestreak finally stopped and laid flat to glare back. 

"You realize I could, and should, throw you in the brig and take your SpecOps title away for this? For unprovokingly attacking a commanding officer? And not just any, the-"

"The second in command of the Autobots." Bluestreak mocked. "S'not like anybot actually likes you or wants you to lead if something happens to Optimus Prime! For frags sake, he made you his second because if he didn't you'd whine and probably never have come. Not like you know the first thing about leading anyway." A smirk crossed Bluestreak's face suddenly, "besides you only raised through Praxian ranks, to get where you are now, because you're so good at sucking spike and spreading your legs."

Prowl went stiff at that. There were a lot of rumors as to how he so quickly rose through the ranks. The most popular one being he slept his way to the top. He could, and did, ignore most of them, but that one he hated the most. 

"You damn well know that isn't true." Prowl hissed. 

"That's why you're so good at being in this position, right?" Bluestreak hissed back. 

Prowl looked down and noticed what Bluestreak meant. Granted he was pinning his brother down so he couldn't move, it did look very sexual. 

"And with your own brother? That's fragging gross Prowl. Have some self respect." Bluestreak mocked. 

Prowl sat back on his knees and stared down at his brother with a blank look. He felt a servo on his shoulder and immediately recognized it as Smokescreen's. When he looked up at his older brother and saw the energon dripping from his nose and cracked optic he twitched. He inhaled to calm himself down and that's when he realized his own energon was dripping from his mouth. Raising a servo he felt it and when he pulled it away he was shocked at how much there was. Shrugging he looked down at Bluestreak and sighed. "Fraggit." Prowl pulled his arm back and punched Bluestreak right in the face three times. When he pulled back to deliver a fourth blow he was tackled to the floor. Looking up he wasn't all that shocked to see Jazz on top of him. What did shock him was when he felt the stasis cuffs put on him and himself being lifted and pushed out the door, followed by Smokescreen with Ironhide and Bluestreak with Red Alert. 

OoO

"I...I don't know what to say." Optimus said sadly as he looked at the three bots in front of him. "This kind of thing is expected of Red Alert, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, but even they don't shoot and attack one another."

"There are two accounts of Sideswipe putting Red Alert in the medbay, three of Sunstreaker putting Red Alert there, three of Red Alert putting Sideswipe there, four of Red Alert putting Sunstreaker there, and over ten of them all ending up there together because of fights." Prowl said, a slight annoyance to his voice. 

Red Alert went stiff at this. Prowl has access to a lot of information, especially as second in command, but even he shouldn't know medical information on bots. Unless it's critical of course. 

"Rung and Ratchet have told the three of us if we can't talk it out then to sort out our issues physically. Multiple times. Not that that's your business." Red Alert replied dryly. "How you even know our medical information is beyond me, and a breach of security and Autobot privacy."

"I'm second in command. Nothing is a breach for me." Prowl mumbled, his back to Red Alert. 

"I'm the head of security and security director. I know more than any bot what they should know and who should know what, and as second you do not have access to private medical records of other Autobots. Only Ratchet, Rung, First Aid, Swoop, Ambulon and Pharma have access. As well as Optimus Prime, only if he requires specific information for a valid reason. In fact a Conjunx can't access the other bots' medical records unless given permission." 

Prowl huffed and kept his back to Red Alert. Optimus watched his second and security director for a moment before sighing and leaning against the front of his desk. 

"Prowl, Red Alert is right. You have no right to that information. How did you acquire it?"

"This is really what we're focusing on? Not Bluestreak attacking Smokescreen and I? As well as making accusations against me?"

"What accusations?" Optimus asked, looking at Bluestreak. 

Bluestreak sat up straight when Optimus addressed him, but glanced at his brother and glared, "I didn't accuse Prowl of anything."

"There were plenty of Autobots in the rec room Bluestreak. You can't lie your way out of this one." Prowl growled at his brother. 

"Prowl, you an' Blue were speakin' Praxian. None of us had any idea what you were sayin'." Ironhide said, crossing his arms. 

"We were what?" Prowl asked. 

"Speakin'- bot are ya deaf?" Ironhide growled. 

"Ironhide please." Optimus raised a servo and Ironhide rolled his optics. "Smokescreen can you please tell us what Bluestreak and Prowl were saying?"

Smokescreen stared at him for a moment then blinked, "ummm...Blue knocked me out. I came round and saw Prowl on top of him on his knees." 

"So, no one understood what Prowl or Bluestreak were saying?" Optimus asked the other three. 

"I sorta caught a lil ov it, but ah was tryin' ta help Smokescreen." Jazz rubbed the back of his helm. 

"Can you tell us what you heard please Jazz?" Optimus asked. 

"You speak Praxian?" Smokescreen, Prowl, and Bluestreak all asked. 

Jazz smiled at the three, "jus' enough ta get by. Anyway, all ah really caught was Smokescreen and Prowl neva tellin' Bluestreak anythin'. Tha's when Bluestreak was hittin' Smokescreen. Then when Prowl jumped on Bluestreak ah rushed ta Smokescreen ta make sure he was okay, an' he was in stasis. All ah heard from there was Prowl threatenin' Bluestreak with strippin' his title, Bluestreak sayin' somethin' 'bout you an' Prowl and Prowl being second. Somethin' not being true an' tha' was it." 

Optimus nodded at his third then looked at the three bots. He had a feeling he could fill in what Bluestreak had said to Prowl. He exvented and shook his helm. The three weren't known for fighting, not like Red Alert and the twins, but even those three kept their more violent fights away from prying optics. What could've possibly happened to set this off? Especially to have provoked Bluestreak, of all bots, to attack his elder brothers? Two bots he looked up to and respected so much.

"What brought this on?"

"Prowl accusing Bluestreak of throwing temper tantrums is what really started it." Red Alert said. 

Prowl glared at Red Alert for that. 

"No, I mean, Bluestreak, why did you attack your brothers to begin with? What did they do to hurt you so deeply you felt the need to do this instead of communicating with them, or perhaps coming to Ratchet, Rung, Wheeljack or myself?"

"These two didn't tell me something about our family. That I had every right to know!" 

Smokescreen sighed and Prowl rolled his optics. 

"If you don't mind my asking, and if need be Jazz, Ironhide, and Red Alert can leave and we can call Rung in here, what is it?"

Smokescreen looked at the ceiling, Prowl stared dead ahead and Bluestreak crossed his arms. Optimus looked up at the three bots and went to ask them to leave, but before he could, Bluestreak said something in Praxian. Prowl replied in a hiss and Smokescreen mumbled an annoyed comment back. 

When Jazz suddenly broke out into a fit of laughter all the bots turned towards him. The three brothers with annoyed optics and the others with confused. 

"Th-thats why you three did tha'?" Jazz tried to control his laughing, but he couldn't. 

"Truly a professional Jazz." Prowl rolled his optics and turned back towards Optimus. 

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, but you'd do it too I bet...well...maybe not you...probably Bumblebee though…" Bluestreak mumbled. 

"In hindsight, it's pretty fragging funny. I'm with Jazz." Smokescreen said, sitting back. 

"So...what is it?" Optimus asked, immensely confused now. 

"Our Sire has a new mate." The three said in unison.