#also ive been in love with you for 3000 years

[starburstminibot]

Hey I loved your explanation of breakdowns development with bumblebee! I was wondering what bumblebee was thinking at the same time though? Like while he was carrying??

I love this AU though!! It’s the only thing I’ve been thinking about! 😩😩💗

It wasn’t easy for Bee either lemme tell you…

Bumblebee has the capabilities of seeing good in everyone… and he is very aware of how vulnerable it can make him. He’s been manipulated before, he’s been taken advantage of due to his child-like optimism. He’s been… hardened to a degree because of it. He’s not a young naive scout anymore. He still likes to see the good, but he’s much more cautious of letting that blind him to the reality.

Except everything goes out the window when it comes to Breakdown.

Bumblebee doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because they were friends before the war, maybe it’s because despite everything Breakdown’s never really done anything to hurt him (at least intentionally)

Bumblebee is more aware than anyone how vulnerable he leaves himself by trusting Breakdown so wholeheartedly.

He knows how quickly Breakdown could give him a false tip and lure him right into a trap. And yet Bee would still take his words and trust them like the gospel.

Maybe it’s because he doesn’t value his life quite as much as he should. He doesn’t want to die… but he’s been in the trenches of a war far longer than he ever experienced living at peace (if that’s what you would call the civil unrest that was slowly tipping into war by the time he came online) he’s a bit desensitized to the extinguishing of a spark.

He knows the dangers of getting too close to anyone when you could lose them at any moment. Of course, he’s always been a friendly bot. Most Autobots favor him kindly and he always enjoys other’s company. But he doesn’t stick around long enough to actually get close. He’s a scout. Traveling across Cybertron, sneaking past enemy lines. He’s alone more than not. Perhaps the only true companion he has was the bot always checking in on him at the end of the mission, the one giving him the next orders, and seeking his unlikely advice. It was easier to get close to Optimus… he was less likely to get blown up in a random firefight and never come back.

Which only made his attraction to Breakdown more confusing. Breakdown was everything that Bumblebee tried to avoid: Reckless, foolish, thrill-seeking. Breakdown threw himself into fights he wasn’t likely to win for fun. Breakdown didn’t value his life quite as much as he should either.

They both were willing to gamble everything because neither of them had anything to lose. And that just made whatever they had that much more exciting

They didn’t see each other often. Years would pass before they could catch a glimpse of the other. It didn’t matter how long it had been… how many friends the other had lost… it was like their unspoken connection was the only true consistency in their lives. Sometimes Breakdown would give Bee information. Other times they would just play cards or race. Sometimes they wouldn’t have a chance to talk at all, being in the heat of battle surrounded by other bots.

They got pretty good at pulling punches and staging fights.

And then the war “ended” and Breakdown was nowhere to be found. Bumblebee would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed. He should have known better… of course Breakdown would have run, all the Decepticons did. And Breakdown was still a decepticon.

He’s pretty confident Optimus knows about their friendship at this point… or at least has his suspicions. But Optimus had also pardoned the ex-leader of the Decepticons so Bumblebee doesn’t think he has much room to judge.

Being sent undercover for over a decade wasn’t the post-war future Bumblebee had planned for himself. He hadn’t envisioned it would take place on an alien organic planet either. He could still remember a time when he dreamed of retirement and maybe he’d take up a “normal” job like the ones Ironhide used to talk about. He always wondered if he’d be good at something more domestic… if maybe he would have an apartment of his own to return to each night instead of recharging at whatever outpost was closest after days without rest.

Now he views those as delusional fantasies. He’s not really sure who he is outside of his title of Autobot spy. He doesn’t think he can be anything besides a soldier. (A hero… according to some people)

He wasn’t sure if it was boredom that triggered his search for Breakdown or if maybe he was just looking for some kind of company (he was used to solitude but it had just been… so long) but somehow he ended up at nearly every race he caught wind of. It wasn’t desperation, certainly not… he just… had a lot of free time is all.

He got close a couple of times. Breakdown was changing his alt mode regularly, Bee was sure of it. But still every so often he’d catch a streak of blue and white. Breakdown had always been faster than him…

Bee considered himself great at adapting to any environment or situation that he would land himself in, but nothing could have prepared him for his latest assignment… Sparklingsitting…

Why Optimus had pulled him out of 15 years of hiding for something so… mundane? Bee could only begin to question. He was convinced it was a waste of time. Bee didn’t know the first thing about younglings, there hadn’t been any since… well… him. And that was a very long time ago.

But after a while he hated to admit he found them… endearing. It was almost nice… it felt like what he used to imagine a peaceful life would be like when he was still naive enough to think true peace was achievable.

And yet… something was still missing.

Bee assumed it was the thrill of the missions he longed for. Considering Optimus was dead-set on sidelining him… Bee decided to resume one of his personal missions…

And thats when he finally reunited with the only bot he could ever consider his best friend. They had been apart for longer periods before… but somehow this felt different. This could be a new start. The war was over.

And then he lost Breakdown again.

To the same humans to claimed to be their allies no less.

He didn’t care how it must’ve looked when he demanded Optimus give him a status report on Breakdown’s condition when he was brought in.

Bee only got a lecture on how he was cutting it too close by getting involved with a race he knew G.H.O.S.T. was planning to bust.

So no, he didn’t really care what Optimus would think when he broke Breakdown out of prison. And he was only slightly hurt when Breakdown drove off ignoring his pleas of assistance. It wasn’t Breakdown’s fight… he had no right to be upset.

Of course Breakdown came through in the end… he always has.

And so what if they started meeting up periodically to race and talk and forget about everything else for s little while. Even if the times Bee had fallen into recharge in his arms and woken up alone hurt more than he’d like to admit.

Breakdown was quick to remind him, they were still on opposite sided. They could still betray each other in a moments notice… they both still had nothing to lose.

Except… that wasn’t quite true anymore.

Bee was carrying.

At first he didn’t do anything about it. Didn’t tell anyone. Didn’t even act like anything was different. A reaction he would later clarify was shock.

Then came the avoidance. The ticking time bomb until he had to do something about it was like a constant countdown in his head. He started seeking distractions. Lessons with the Terrans. Missions with Arcee. Drives with Breakdown. Anything to avoid thinking about the decisions he would need to make in the future. The very rapidly approaching future.

Breakdown was the first to know.

Looking back, Bee wished he had been able to break the news a little differently. He hadn’t intended to tell him that night at all… he wasn’t sure if he was ever planning on telling him period.

The reality of a sparkling was beginning to hit and for the first time in his life… Bumblebee couldn’t put himself at risk anymore.

And Breakdown was a risk.

It was supposed to be their last time… a chance to say goodbye, even if Breakdown didn’t know it. Instead in a moment of emotion, Bee accidentally let it slip.

He wasn’t expecting Breakdown to choose the path of caution too. To desperately pledge to stay by his side. To stop taking risks… to stop running… to finally face this emotion they’ve been dancing around for centuries

Bee almost felt guilty for assuming so negatively of the one bot he has ever loved, but then again Breakdown has never really done much to prove his loyalty besides never actually betraying him.

This was different though. This was their real new start. The desperation in Breakdown’s eyes, like he’d never seen before, was enough to prove it.

And he trusted Breakdown… because now they both had something to lose.

The hard part was convincing Optimus to do the same…

Bee is lucky he was always Prime’s favorite. Pretty sure any other bot could be charged with fraternizing with the enemy. And of course… the news didn’t go over very smoothly… Bee wasn’t expecting it to…

He’s grateful Breakdown survived to the end of the conversation, though there were a handful of blasters involved in the process.

But after the lectures and the disappointment and the numerous encounters of bots trying to convince Bumblebee to abandon whatever bond he had with Breakdown and allow the Autobots to assist in the Sparkling’s upbringing… Bee noticed for the first time just how hard BD was trying.

Breakdown never cared about what anyone thought of him. He never did things for the approval of others… so Bee knew it was his own decision when BD formerly defected from the Decepticons and took on the autobot mantel.

He’d never seen him more dedicated to anything before… and that’s when Bee knew. They were going to be okay.

He had only ever been a soldier before… he wasn’t sure if he was really cut out for this whole Carrier thing. Breakdown joked that the Terrans had been the trial run, and he had all the training he needed.

They both joked to avoid the spark numbing fear.

They had never experienced it before… not like this… the fear of losing.

Bee wasn’t sure when Breakdown became so… domestic. Sure, he still teased and flirted and ran his mouth. He still made bets he couldn’t win. But he also brought Bee his energon every morning, mixed exactly the way he liked it. And everytime Bee fell into recharge, he’d still be by his side when his optics opened again.

Bumblebee couldn’t help but be angry a little…

Why was he only now receiving this treatment? They’d known how they felt about each other for how long? How long had Bee tried to convince him to stay by his side?

But Breakdown didn’t need Bee’s anger to feel guilty. He barely felt deserving of the chances he’d been given long before this one.

And Bumblebee couldn’t bring himself to act on his anger… not when Breakdown was trying so hard for him.

For them.

Perhaps Bee’s dreams of peace weren’t so far off after all.

[zarnzarn]

About the Reverse Odyssey AU (love it btw), do you think any of the Ithacans start praying to Hephastus? Just in case they can't get Odysseus back to human form, at least they can ask the God of inventing how to build a new palace that's half underwater.

oh god I have to continue that.... i have 3000 wips that ive gotten inspo for all at once are descending on me guys plus I am actively getting a master's degree bear w me for a few days

also OMG fuck yes!!! Ithaka is much more involved in this than in canon since a. they r not down 600 people who are immensely loyal to odysseus b. their king made a direct sacrifice FOR THEM literally no one else would have done this no other king would ever let himself be cursed to save his kingdom c. it's been 10 years and they all find it unjust because they'd all seen him weep as he left and know he and Penelope missed each other like crazy.

(plus he was very young when he took the throne! imagine a 13 year old telling u what to do and then being right. the people of Ithaka must have been very fond of him and most would have seen him as son-adjacent)

so one person has this idea one day, and they take it to the architects, who take it to the blacksmiths, who take it to the ruler of Ithaka. She pursues her lips as she looks at it, teeth grinding at the assumption that they would succeed but not overcome the curse, but allows them to do it.

So they start.

It is harder than their initial ideas demanded. First there is the matter of structures that do not stay down long enough to stick together, then there is the matter of how to secure them. Their dreams of beautiful underwater sculptures fall through as they struggle to conjure up even a basic shelter, even in the summer calm of the waters.

So, desperate and frustrated, they pray to Hephastus.

Ithaka is famous for its dedication to the goddess Athena, most of its temples under the king's ten-year rule being lovingly dedicated to the wisdom goddess. A separate group of smaller temples honors the other gods in the main town; but the main palace and most houses are painted blue and owl feathers and trinkets and sculptures are sold in the main market- the most beautiful of artistry is reserved for Pallas Athene alone.

But the blacksmiths and architects work together to build a small shrine worthy of the inventor god; with hidden catches and rotating idols and the best of their tools and ideas burnt at the fire kept burning at the base of it.

And after a few weeks- Hephaestus blesses them.

(He cannot make up for what he tried to do to Athena in his drunkenness and on Posiedon's inescapable goading. He was young and stupid and hurt and proud and drugged- he thinks she knows this, and has long since let it pass enough to stand beside him without a second thought; but will never be able to get over his shame- so the least he can do is this.)

But Ithaka's artists wake up with the same idea in mind and rush to the shrine in the early hours of the morning to give their thanks. Then they start building- floating large stones down at the far end to mark the range, until they have raised the wall enough to drain out the waters for them to work inside. They work fast, laying down the walls within days, until it joins to where the courtyard of the main palace creeps down the side of the cliff. From the palace itself, a tunnel is dug in the main room, wrapping around the mountain through the softer rock deposits, then travelling down to the sea.

They have the blueprints Odysseus himself had commissioned for his palace, and try to add in the carvings and structures accordingly. They dare not risk more than the smallest of owls carved into the stone entrance, wary of Posiedon's wrath at his rival. They work hard, encouraged by the people, helped by the Trojan heroes themselves- and strangely, their hands never feel tired and the ideas never stop coming.

The first test comes at the start of the monsoons.

The storms roll in angry and strong, battering against the island of Ithaka as furiously as always. When it is done, the architects are dismayed to find their hard-made palace flooded and destroyed, stone displaced or missing, with one collapse of the outside barrier causing three more within.

Dejected, they burn their tools at the temple forge once more, and then go to bed.

That next morning, the youngest of them wakes up with the thought- what if we used metal to hold them together?

The royal family gives them funding once more, and they commission for marble pillars to be sent from the mainland in exchange for their raw materials; these they sink to the bottom and drain the water once more. These pillars are erected and melted into the shifting sand with hot liquid metal, until they fuse into the rock. The roofed ceiling is replaced with live kelp and seaweed, attached to the top of the pillars and bound together. The walls are rebuilt quicker- with more labour coming in when they look closer to success than before, men with guilty eyes and stubborn determination ready to do the back-breaking, risky work.

The whole island holds its breath this time, as the monsoon rolls in and the ships return. The storms roll in and-

The wall has fallen completely, leaving the surroundings unsuitable for them to put it back up, letting the water back in.

But the building stands.

The celebration lasts all day and night, with all the workers being given a place of honor at the palace table itself for dinner. Even the royal family themselves are happy, for all the disappointment of another year of failure, and are grateful in a way that satisfies them more than the money ever could.

Yet there is still the second test- the tunnel to connect to the palace.

The main digging is complete; but as they reach the end they realize they do not know how they will open it to the sea without losing men to the outburst of the sea pouring back in. The Queen twists her lips when they go to her with the problem, thinking.

"This is such a bad idea," One of the men whispers.

"Shh," Eurylochus says, striking another spear into the final barrier. Two men come forward with hammers and push it in further, and they wait until the call comes in from the surface far above from the diver outside that the spear has gone through. "Don't tempt fate."

"You are such a nice, sane man, Eurylochus," One of the men moans despairingly, and he smiles, small. "Why are our royals all mad?"

He laughs, remembering a similar conversation from many years ago. He slips the rope around the loop at the end of the spear, and feels the nostalgia twist into sorrow once more, missing his captain, his general, his brother, his king, his friend. If only he had never kept that cursed bag. If only he had the courage to step forward first, not frozen in fear and shouldered the cost instead like a soldier should for their king, for Odysseus. Had not made mistake after mistake further, ordering Odysseus out of their reach in his panic to get him to the water, not being prepared with a net to catch him both times they'd seen him after.

He kept one on his belt now, at all times.

But until the skies and seas cleared, there was nothing to do except make sure Ody had a home to return to; that he could reach.

"Let's go," Eurylochus exhales, and they all grab the ropes attached to the dozens of spears and make their way back up the winding tunnel as slowly as they can, careful not to step on even one rope or pull too hard, and risk spelling doom for them all. Hearts pounding as they walk in the eerily silent tunnel, the dark taunting them, urging them to run. But they hold their nerve and come out at the pool created inside the main court.

Eurylochus climbs out last from the pool, and smiles up at Ctimene. She looks beautiful in the Ithakan jewels once more, holding herself with more grace and confidence than much richer princesses ever had, anklets tinkling.

She nods and then turns to the rest. "PULL!"

As one, the ropes spring up tight, straining until the spears come loose and men go falling to the floor with shouts. For a second nothing happens.

Then they hear the roaring.

He knows it's water, Eurylochus knows it has to be water- but it still sounds like a hoard of monsters, the shouting of a battlefield, the cyclops when he stole the lives of their friends in his fury. He can't help grabbing his wife and pulling her back, shouting for a retreat as the water rushes through the tunnel and bursts out in a terrible din into the pool, filling it to the top and then overspilling off the sides immediately.

For a heart-stopping moment, Eurylochus watches the water catch onto the feet of the people around, rising and rising, and he remembers Poseidon's cruel smile as he crippled and cursed Eurylochus' brother and thinks it's going to drown us all-

And then the tide recedes, and the water crawls back with it.

The plan worked. The palace of Ithaka now creeps down into the sea, enticing their wayward king to find his way back home, swim back to them and be happy, even if they never solved his curse.

All they have to do now is wait.

[atlabeth]

now that the dust has cleared from the chaos for me irl, i want to officially thank you all for 3000 followers!! because wow. where do i even start?

this isn't a milestone i thought i would ever reach. i made this blog during my junior year of high school when i was bored as hell in online school, not knowing what would come of it, and honestly not expecting anyone to read anything i’ve written. i exclusively wrote avatar fics (kind of embarrassing that a series i started at the beginning of my blog still isnt finished huh?) because it was what i had been watching most recently. i started to gain some recognition, made some friends, and slowly but surely i carved out my little corner of the internet. and now, 3 years, 3000 followers, and almost 500,000 words later, i’m going into my junior year of college with some of the best online friends a girl could ask for (shoutout to my day 1 @simplysolo for still being around and still being the best ever, and shoutout to all my other tumblr friends that have deactivated over the years</3 i miss you guys) a whole array of fandoms that i’ve dabbled in, and a newly discovered thing for middle aged men. cool 

i truly cannot thank you all enough. i’ve always been a writer, but this blog has given me a sorely needed creative outlet and made me more confident in my writing skills than ever. at the end of the day i’m just writing silly little x reader fics, but i’ve truly had so much fun doing it! every single fictional man im in love with is also in love with me isn’t that crazy!!!

a special, extended shoutout to the loveliest mutuals i’ve picked up over the years. i wouldn’t be half the writer i am and i wouldn’t have half as much fun on here without you all. @simplysolo for being around since the beginning and truly being the greatest person on this app, i love you intensely, @sokkadora for being another one of my ogs (we dont talk anymore but i see you every so often on my dash and you’re doing great!!) @mcallmestiles for being one of the first avatar fics i ever read, traitor encouraged me to be a better writer and i hope you’re doing well with your medical career!! @tangledinlove for being my most famous mutual, the kindest person in the world, and being brought together through the power of lockwood, @giyuji and @milkiane who are both inactive but who i have to tag because i love them and i hope they’re doing well; naomi you got me into the grishaverse and liane we were in the trenches of the stranger things revival together, @boneblushed for dealing with so much but still being phenomenal and lovely in every way, @tommymcartney for being so sweet all the time, my biggest cheerleader and encouraging my insanity in every fandom ive been a part of, @nghtwngs for being the only person who loses it over nikolai lantsov as much as i do, to all my new/more recent mutuals @hotchfiles @ma1dita @moowithmidnight @emiliehornby @supercutszns i can't wait to get to know or keep getting to know you!!! you're all so lovely!!! and all the mutuals i don’t talk to as much as i should, i love you all and cherish you in my heart regardless of if we talk every day or have never said a single word to each other!! i don’t want to tag you all because i don’t want to bother you, but if you’re looking at this and thinking am i talking about you, i am. i love you. it takes a village and im so lucky to have you all as mine 

i can’t believe it’s been 3 years, i can’t believe i’m halfway done with college, and i can’t believe we hit 3,000. truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for reading my fics and letting me be some small part of your lives. i can’t wait to write more for you all. keep a lookout for my 3k celebration post! 

[tsenya]

brief overview of some movies ive watched and rewatched over the last few months.

first time viewings:

strange darling - i liked it ! i waited months to watch it and deliberately avoided reading reviews and watching trailers for it and im glad i did.

leave my girl alone - honestly one of the funnest movies ive watched in months. i already want to rewatch. the last 30-60 seconds are glorious.

vhs beyond - ok i was a LITTLE harsh in my review. ok i was entirely petty because [SPOILER] they put real life youtubers in the movie and i was so discombobulated like what are YOUTUBERS doing in my HORROR MOVIE! i also have gripes with the 'little green men' subgenre that mostly stem from the fact that my dad believes in aliens and like im gonna be so honest with you i have 1000000 other things on my mind i dont have time or room to think about whether aliens are real and if the US government is using their technology or whatever i do not care. unless theyre giving me free healthcare i do not want to hear about it.

SEGMENTS I LIKED: Stowaway, Fur Babies, and Dream Girl. (tw for body horror, gore, animal death, etc etc etc)

cuckoo - i wanted a little bit more from it but it was good! i liked hunter schaefer as the lead. i think dan stevens should pull a brad dourif and play scuzzy dudes the rest of his career hes good at it and always looks like hes having fun. i will not pretend to understand what was going on i'll prolly have to rewatch

longlegs - full disclaimer i probably set my expectations too high and it's entirely possible that this movie simply wasnt for me. i really wanted to like it and expected to but. i did not. theres more i could say but i think i said enough. i'll try rewatching next year and see how i feel about it.

dracula 3000 - im not bringing this movie up because it's good, it was horrible, i just want to say that it's been 20 years can someone please make a movie about a vampire in space that's GOOD i know someone out there can do it PLEASE

rewatches:

pandorum - i couldnt tell you if this was a good movie or not i really couldnt i cannot objectively assess movies i watched when i was younger very well. all i can tell you is that i really really really liked the sci-fi/horror fusion. also the creature design still holds up i need to know who did it bec it looks better than some of the stuff out today

lake mungo - found footage horror movie OF ALL TIME

sunshine - im in love w this movie i love everything about it. also something i thought about was that it was weird watching chr*s ev*ns in something not marvel is was actually refreshing for once. we need to get cillian murphy into horror/suspenseful sci fi PLEASE.

the slumber party massacre - idk what to say other than 1) idc what i thought when i first watched it i was WRONG i love this movie so much and i do recommend all the reviews i liked if u want to know some of my thoughts/stuff i agree w 2) valerie bates is currently no. 1 girl in horror for me. as u could probably tell from my icon. and header. and sidebar image. and blog page. and

[queencharlott]

To Those We Hold Tight

Also available on ao3!

Summary: With three boys so far, the King and Queen hope for a daughter.

Pairings: Queen Charlotte/King George III, King George III & his daughter, The Princess Royal Charlotte (Charlotte Augusta Matilda Queen of Württemberg)

Characters: Queen Charlotte, King George, George IV of the United KingdomFrederick Duke of York and Albany, William IV of the United Kingdom, Charlotte Augusta Matilda Queen of Württemberg

Words: 3000

Status: Complete!

~~~~~~~~~

September 1766

Charlotte embroiders in the quiet comfort of her husband’s bedchamber. George loves to watch her delicate hands find their way in and out of the fabric, painting with thread. When she is in the room, he finds it difficult to focus on anything. 

The light of the fireplace envelops the royal couple in a soft, flickering orange glow. It is there in his room they can strip the formality of their everyday lives, to become George and Charlotte– no other titles necessary. The room is quiet save for the crackle of the fireplace and the soft scratches of graphite on paper. Both steal glances of the other when they are not looking.

Her King sits across from her, legs crossed in the armchair, planning his garden plots. His face betrays nothing but pure concentration. He will meet up with the gardeners at Kew to discuss his ideas, but for now he is lost in thought.

“I hope you do not think me terrible for saying I wish this one a girl,” says Charlotte, stopping mid-needlework to look at her husband sheepishly. From underneath her nightgown, there is no hiding how big she is. Charlotte feels she is nearly about to burst.

George looks up from his work and sets his paper down on the table beside him. He moves to take his place beside his wife on the settee, having been reminded how long it has been since he had last kissed her.

“No,” he says honestly. “I do not.”

“In fact, I say I feel similarly,” he says with a twinkle in his eye. He kisses her lips first, before gently making his way down to her neck. The tension she was holding in her shoulders melts away and she is swept away by his touch. Each stroke, kiss, caress, and touch is a word in a language only they know. He writes love letters on her skin.

The baby stirs. She places his hand on her stomach, inviting him to feel. She is used to this strange sensation, the feeling of life within her, and thinks back to her original comment. The coin has been flipped. Whichever he or she shall be, they do not know yet. Of course she will love any of George’s children, but that does not make her desire for a daughter abate.

The pair love their sons dearly, but three rambunctious toddlers have left them both longing for something different. Their situation is unusual: many might wish only for sons and nothing less. They had secured the heir, a spare, and a spare for the spare in due course. Perhaps they believe a girl will be easier to raise. Or perhaps they know, as do most of the aristocracy, a girl is often easier to control.

—

When the Princess Royal Charlotte is born, her exhausted parents breathe a sigh of relief. 

The King and Queen present their daughter to their sons. The eldest, Georgie, is not yet four, the youngest, William, just barely over a year. They gaze upon her, a baby with jet black hair wrapped in their mother’s arms, unsure of what to do with the thing. 

When the boys are sent to bed, George takes the bundle from his wife and cradles her in his arms. Each child different than the next in his arms, each one undoubtedly eliciting pride and joy as he gazes down at what they’ve created. The Queen beams at them both, exhausted, before slipping into a deep sleep. George leaves with the baby, attendants shutting the door quietly behind him, and the infant Charlotte is nothing but epitome of perfection. She snoozes peacefully, blissfully unaware of her new life on this earth or her place in the palace. 

 

June 1772

A man in a nearly see-through linen shirt left little to the imagination, especially when that man was her husband.

King George is Farmer George today, dressed in a common man’s breeches and shirt, strutting about the gardens with a fierce sense of purpose. It is those days he feels most himself, most connected to the earth and to his place in it. He is a humble speck in the universe. Not a king, not chosen, simply George. He tends to his gardens like an Everyman. 

The Farmer King is freshly thirty-two. For all the pomp and grandeur that accompanied a royal’s birthday, he did not feel much comforted by the passage of time. The Americas were becoming more and more a disfiguring pockmark on his reign, a question without an answer. Whatever he chose to do or not do felt like entirely the wrong answer. He was a silly king who had never been taught how to properly come into his role. To fail on all fronts seemed to have been prophesied, and who was George to trifle with God about such matters. The only thing he could venture to do to retain what was left of his sanity was to shut the world out, to occupy fully the role of father and of scientist.

Often, Charlotte would make her way into the garden too (save if it was too hot or she too pregnant), Reynolds always by her side, holding a parasol as she watched her husband diligently. She could remember that moment years ago when she had watched him from the window, unable to comprehend why a man like him wanted to farm.

Even on the long summer days when the sun shines brightly in the sky and when the heat of the eager sun threatens to bring her inside, still she watches. There are times when he is so enraptured with his work even her presence can not break his concentration. Charlotte likes those moments most, when she can peer into his mind as a gentle observer, watching as he enjoys the peace and prosperity he deserves in every second of his life. When the fantasy is gone and when royal duties demand attention, Farmer George transforms before her eyes into King George. She loves them both fiercely, but most of all the man underneath both costumes, the Just George who plays both roles.

Their boys burst from the french doors like cannons, chasing each other with wooden swords. They’re dressed in a variation of George’s farming outfit, with loose linen shirts and breeches, an innovation of their father in the aftermath of some very expensive fabrics being torn and muddied beyond recognition. If he was to have a common man’s outfit, so too should his sons.

Today, Charlotte is not overly pregnant and the weather is agreeable. As to the first point, she is not quite sure if she is with child, though her courses have come late and eight times of prior experience leaves little doubt. Perhaps she will tell George tonight, or save it for another evening when he needs cheering up. It would be such a disappointment to bring both their hopes up only to have a doctor shoot their dreams down. 

She watches from a bench in quiet consideration, book in hand, her young boys growing taller and taller by the day, soon to be young men. Georgie is eleven now, three inches taller than his younger brother Frederick and unafraid to let him know it. William is not nearly seven yet, but tags behind his brothers anyways, hoping that their duo could one day be a trio. She is too far away to hear what her husband says to their children, but she knows George delights in his children’s presence.

George looks up when the boys come bounding outside. Sometimes he was apt to chase them, to excite their energies even further (and hopefully, when it came time for bed, to make the experience easier after a long day playing in the sun). William comes running at his father full tilt, and George obliges by crouching down to pick the young boy up. Soon he has a posse of his sons encircling him, all catching their breath.

“Georgie, play nice,” George says to his eldest son. “You too, Frederick.” He gives them a not-quite-pointed glance, before grinning. 

“And you,” he says to the child in his arms, “You go show them who's boss.”

William beams at his father and nods, before being set back down. The trio bolts, only one heeding their father’s advice, to play in a fantasy world of their own making. Perhaps they’ll imagine themselves as princes in their new world, or perhaps, like their father, they will go where royal expectations cannot touch them.

With great delight George realizes his eldest daughter has come to pay him a visit. The five-year-old is adorably dressed in a white cotton frock with a pale blue sash, running with delight towards her father before he picks her up and throws her into the air. She shrieks in delight as he catches her and he cannot help but laugh. 

It was difficult not to play favorites when it came to the younger Charlotte. The Princess Royal was, thankfully, a spitting image of her mother, with bright brown eyes and a head of tender black curls. Out of all eight children the royal couple had produced, none other than Charlotte had the most fitting name.

“What did you learn today?” asks George, tucking a stubborn tendril back behind her ear. It was a customary question, one which the five-year-old Princess was eager to answer.

“Letters,” she said proudly. George grins.

“Letters?” he asks animatedly, as though each word she said to him was the most interesting thing in the world. Which it is.

Charlotte nods. “All of them.”

“All of them?!” 

The girl laughs and nods again, trying to convey to her clearly daft papa that they did indeed work on letters today.

“Well,” George says, “then you will soon be reading like your mama. Do you see her?”

George turns around, the Princess Charlotte on his hip, and waves at his wife from afar. Their daughter joins in, and the Queen acquiesces, giving a hearty wave back. She is glad of the vignette of her Farmer George and their children. She will covet the memory closely to her heart, escaping to the good memories when the world seemed to crash down upon them both.

Queen Charlotte retreats to the palace where her mind is preoccupied with royal duties, from arranging invitations, scheduling visits, replying to various correspondence, and a whole barrage of other things that seem silly to waste one’s precious 24 hours in this life on. She often felt at odds with the world, distant from her children when the royal duties beckoned her back to the inescapable title of Queen. She was either Queen Charlotte or she was Mama, never truly both at the same time. George could somehow be everything all at once.

George sets his daughter down on the pathway, taking the hand that’s nearly a quarter the size of his own in his, leading her towards the Orangery. 

“Do you like your tutors?” he asks. Perhaps it was unusual for a King royal to bring so much care and attention to the education of his children, but George had been determined to break and bend the traditions of his Hanoverian past. The Hanovers had a long history of cheating on their wives and hating their sons. Only his father had broken the tradition of the latter, but he had left this world by the time George was thirteen. The first true born and bred English King was not going to follow in the footsteps of his ancestors.

“Oh yes,” says his little girl with gusto. “I have fun.” She thinks a minute before adding, “Sometimes.”

“And français?”

She nods. He raises his eyebrows at her. 

“Oui,” she giggles, catching on.

“Très bien,” he says, nodding approvingly. “And Deutsch? ”

“Ja!” answers the little voice. “Mama helped.”

“Oh?” Queen Charlotte was apt to guide her children’s education. George is unsurprised to hear it, and rather quite proud. If there was anything that her children were going to learn, it was her mother tongue. He is glad to hear it. 

Charlotte stops mid-walk to give him the eyes of a beggar. It was a cheap trick and they both knew it, but the King was eager to oblige. Perhaps a stronger willed father would not humor her, telling his daughter that she was five years old and could walk perfectly well with her big girl legs. But he cannot. He will let his children be children for as long as they want. He had not been afforded that simple luxury himself.

He picks up the delighted child once more and his heart melts as she nuzzles herself into his shoulder. He can forget the world at this moment. The bickering in Parliament, the disquiet in the Americas, the ever-present mental illness that loomed over his every action. He isn’t a Farmer, he isn’t a King, he isn’t sick. He is a father. Her father.

They reach the Orangery, a stunning white brick and stucco building that bears the arms of George’s mother and father. Seven large, arresting arched windows frame the front of the building. From afar he can see the red-brick facade of the palace, sitting in stark contrast to the bright white of the Orangery. He wonders if that’s where his Queen has retreated.

Attendants open the stately doors to let the pair inside. He almost objects, but he is for once glad of the chance to keep both his hands free to keep his daughter tight to him. The Princess gasps in delight at the wide array of plump citrus in front of her. George lets her pick out her favorite one, which she pulls off of the great tree in front of her.

He smiles to himself, knowing that her mother had once done the same. Such a small act of defiance and autonomy, but she had done it nonetheless.  

The ceiling in there is high, the branches and leaves stretching to the very top. The citrus trees eagerly soak up sunshine from the grand windows. It is an explosion of greenery with spots of orange and the two royals are delighted. 

“Your grandmother had this built, did you know?” says George, melancholy lining the edges of his voice. Charlotte shakes her head, the memories of her grandmother more of a mist, soon to be forgotten in time. 

The Princess Dowager Augusta had died that year, not four months prior. She and her son had a deeply complicated relationship, where often duty was confused with love or something similar to the feeling, but now that she was gone there seemed to be few he could rely on. Maybe her sharp edges might have been dulled if his father had remained alive, if he had taken on the mantle of king instead of George himself. He can (and has) spent days mulling over the what ifs, though its effect on reality was negligible. There is only the here and now. 

“Grab one for your mama,” he whispers. Charlotte obeys dutifully, grabbing another off the branch and handing it to George. He tucks it away safely in his pocket.

As they exit, the young princes nearly come crashing into them. Seems he was right about wanting a daughter , he thinks with sardonic amusement. 

They look at their father, wide-eyed, unsure what he’s going to say next. George is not in the mood to be mad, and the look on their faces is apology enough. 

“Oh go on,” he says, and ushers them away. “Go grab an orange and go back to the palace. Afternoon lessons will be starting soon, will they not?”

“Yes, sir,” says Georgie quickly.

The band of brothers release a breath of air, tucking their swords away and bounding into the Orangery. George and Charlotte take their leave, but are outpaced by her brothers within fifteen paces. There was nowhere the young princes would not go without sprinting.

When they return to the palace, clothes will be changed and roles will be carefully put back on. Royal titles and duties will resume. There will be people to meet, places to go, decisions to make.

When George returns he is dressed in a fine silken navy blue waistcoat and matching breeches. Gold embroidered flowers paint the edges of his jacket, a showy reminder that he is no longer a common man and never was. George finds his wife at a desk, scribbling away. Her robe à la français , the navy blue gown which she’d been wearing all day, now seemed to be part of a matching set. 

Charlotte turns around at the sound of his footsteps. She knows him. Even when he is down the hallway or outside, she knows the pace and weight of his feet on the ground. 

“I have a surprise for you,” says George in the doorway. From behind his legs, Charlotte can see the outline of her daughter. The Queen grins. George steps aside and the Princess Royal runs to her mother, brandishing her orange. There he is again: the man who is her husband, her King, and the father of her children, all at once.

“For me?” she says with delight as the little girl nods heartily. “It is lovely, thank you.”

“She picked it herself,” says George. “Just like her mother.” Charlotte stares into her husband’s eyes and she cannot imagine a more perfect man.

The Princess runs out the room to her governess, who takes the young child away and back to her lessons. 

“I have a surprise for you as well,” says Charlotte, turning over the fresh fruit in her palms. She does not need to say any more, for they have done this song and dance eight times. Each time, though, he finds himself forever surprised. 

“Oh my darling,” says George, inviting her to stand up from her chair. His hands find her hips and his lips find hers. 

“You are the brightest star on this earth.”

[rose022]

@poisoned-sugar11

doing this in a post so i have room. first we're doing popipa cus ik most of them even tho its been years.

so theres this girl kasumi who wants to find something sparkly and heart pounding with the stars. shes just started hs and is going to a different one and so one day when walking to school she notices stars (stickers) and follows them and ends up at a house and finds a guitar with the stars on it. except someones like?? what are you doing in my house?? this is arisa. she fails at being intimidating cus kasumi just wants to see the guitar and its also star shaped and she loves it. arisa goes with her to a live house cus kasumi wants to play music and arisa doesnt wanna leave this "thief" alone. they watch a show instead cus they cant play here without passing an audition. they watch my lovelies glitter green and kasumi is like omg yhis is the thing ive been looking for. so she goes to arisas house to walk to school together and suggests starting a band. theres also saaya who's in her class and encourages her but she and arisa decline the band. this other girl rimi does join but just cus kasumi is a bit liek omg you should join!!! and sures like. okay... anyway she goes to talk to arisa about the show they saw but shes like ?? why are you at my house again? u want the guitar? its being auctioned for 3000 now. but instead kasumi just helps her clean. days later theyre talking and arisa confesses she put up the stickers when walking home from piano practice as a kid cus she got them as a reward. they finish cleaning and arisa shows kasumi the guitar and it breaks and kasumi keeps apologizing and arisa goes to the store and fixes it and then lets kasumi have it. they then get another room too with an amp and stuff and arisa agrees to join the band if kasumi will eat lunch with her in school.

uh im gonna leave yhis here cus ive been on and off typing for a while but i love arisa and kasumi and ive shipped them since i started playing in 2017

[thefeathereddragon]

Hey Tumblr. I dont post much on here but if you follow me on my other socials you know my sweet Monkey!

Well, this week, something triggered him to go into anaphylactic shock and the only vet that would see him was an hour out.. i didnt think to grab a charger and got there with 1% and directions there and back written all over my hand. The whole way there i kept my hand in his carrier, and he would put his forehead in my palm and cry whenever i had to take it away. As i passed Florida and North Carolina tags, i just sobbed. I certainly had a right to be stressed with a dying cat in my passenger seat but i knew to count my lucky stars that there was a vet to go to, that the roads were there to drive on, and so many other factors.

They kept him overnight. My baby wasnt doing good at all. His face was so swollen, his body was trying to seize as they took him back, and he wasnt able to come off of oxygen at all overnight. He was still breathing fast when i picked him up, but once we got in the car headed home he slowly but surely leveled out. He takes medicine like a champ and so far he’s been doing great- swelling all the way down, breathing normal, sleepy from meds, and maybe a little anxious (he’s been sleeping closer to us and hanging out closer) but things are looking up in that regard.

But it’s just my boyfriend working. We were able to put the expense on his credit card this time, but this year we’ve also spent $15k in car repairs, and had just started to recover from that when this happened. By next wednesday 10/16, we’ll have spent $3000 and we still arent 100% sure if he will have to go on medication for life or not. Im not asking for donations without giving back in return so ive been brainstorming on how i could help build ourselves back up and keep an emergency vet fund on me in case this happens again. But as it stands right now, if it happens again too soon, i may not be so fortunate and will have to make a gut-wrenching decision.

I know cats don’t live forever, but Monkey is only a year old. He came to me last September as a 3 week old kitten, who had been lost from mom for so long he was starving, dehydrated, and so weak. I had lost my 9 year old, Pixel, earlier that year, and my cousin Andy was murdered the same weekend he was born. When i first held him, i said the same thing my granddaddy said about me as an infant; “just like a Monkey!” cause i had long little toes and Monkey is a Polydactyl. In many ways, it feels like all three of them hand picked this cat for me, so he is very special to me.

So here is some of my art! Ive been working on improving and growing my skillset so I’d love to tackle animals/pet portraits, classic cars, landscapes/skies, etc but my forte as of late has definitely been more anime/cartoon style. If you feel led to donate or support me in any way, put a prompt in the notes or message me and i will get back to you asap. I’ll post some more examples soon or you can follow my IG/FBpage; thefeathereddragonart and if you’d like to see some extremely cute videos of Monkey, go check out my tiktok TheFeatheredDragon

My cashapp/venmo is triangularbird ! Thank you so so much in advance. Even if you cant help monetarily, i genuinely appreciate if you share or reblog or even just follow in case you might be able to in the future or you just want to see Monkey. Thank you again. 🫶🏻☮️

[dedeuteros]

i think about you sometimes !!

messing with my typing quirks b/c maybe it’ll be fun for you to figure out who this is , like a silly form of enrichment , but i do think about you and how you’ve introduced me to things before i see them again , sometimes years later ! i got a song on my recommended that you sent a link to before and i checked to see if you actually had and you did ! i got a silly video about spacehey too and i can’t find the message but i’m 99.9% sure you showed it to me ! i wonder about your mind and your art and your writing but lately i’ve rarely talked to anyone at all , so there’s the excuse for not reaching out . i’ve been going about just keeping to myself . i don’t know if we’ll ever talk again , but you’re in my thoughts .

i hope you’re doing well !!

if youre who i believe youve done an endearingly poor job of changing up your writing style but i respect the effort! this is an interesting way to reach out, feels rather like talking to a ghost. but i guess youre right that i could only respond to something so nonconfrontational. as is.

im doing the thing right now where i read a lot of one book and like to talk with a similar formality. (it doesnt come through well but it reads the same in my mind.) it's no less than a collective of 3000 pages of careful intricate slowburn of a god-on-earth emperor and his competent secretary. they work to reform the 99 generations of poor government, the emperor one day gets to be himself again. there's a beautiful drapery of court pleasantries and fealty as a guise for their deep feelings. not that i am sure i have so many feelings (though the book skirts a perfect line of the aroace spectrum i enjoy) but maybe you can see why myself, avoidant and indirect, can enjoy it.

im glad you are excited by things i share, and that i was right they might be something in your own radar! my dear maliha used to do that for me in middleschool and it always tickled me when something came back to me a year later.

i also wonder on the writing and art of yourself and the entire lot of our class. i miss very badly being able to glance to either side and see something internal laid out next to me. i dont do so much, except my smileys when i feel aggravated and my easy doodles in book margins. but i have plans to do some studies. your pieces which included ambient sound were among my favorites (assuming you are, of course, you)

i dont hang out with anyone except my coowrkers, except holidays when the full force of several social lives drains me. had to call out of work for how tired it made me. i hope that you do still have people you could hang out with even if you dont. and i am still gravely sorry i cannot so enthusiastically be. sometimes it is easier when you know for certain someone is not willing to peer into your heart and soul but instead just enjoy company. any more makes my head spin.

much love, whether ive guessed who or not, to you! from my writing and my art and my thoughts.once dear to me i do not at all forget, which i think i already told you.

[noivern]

Is GW2 easy for new people to get into? The only mmo I've played and committed to was FF14, but I've been looking to play others.

mixed i think? you can get the base game for free, so you can certainly dip your toes in, though to be honest, the 2012 era content largely feels a little dated now, tho i still have a lot of nostalgia for it.

gw2 uses a hybrid tab targeting system, so you can tab like a ffxiv/wow but also aim stuff and dodge and it feels a lot faster and more fluid to me, i found ffxiv slow and clunky after a 160 ish hour try gw2 does a much worse job of teaching itself than ffxiv tho, and where ffxiv very nicely onboards people into duty finder and group instanced content and such, gw2 can be frustratingly opaque at times. thankfully it has a really incredible wiki and the ability to type /wiki (name of thing) in game to open a page explaining what the hell you're doing. working out what to do after base game with the expansions and living world seasons can be annoying too. i also really love gw2's lack of subscription, so i dont feel pressured to be doing a certain amount to justify the upkeep. ive certainly bought way too many cosmetic things, but ive also had over 3000 hours of fun.

the pve, wvw (world vs world vs world), and pvp (5v5) modes are all healthy and can be dabbled with after relatively little input. gw2 uses a megaserver to mush people together outside of the server v server mass pvp (wvw) mode, so your choice doesnt matter much.

reading up on builds and theorycrafting and pushing mechanical performance can get very high level and hard or you can google engineer build and whack a recommendation on and go kil stuff, whatev

theres a lot of complexity and layers of bullshit and currencies and learning where everything is that comes with a 10 year old mmo and additions and new blahblahs and i found that a bit dazing when i returned a year ago but just do whatever seems good (i rec running through the story bc i love a story, but you can do whatever) and along the way the various 800 shiny goblin pebbles youve accumulated will make sense and maybe you can swap them for a cool ring idk

[laurelnose]

Very New to your blog and the posts are probably way old but I saw you do Witcher Biology (??) rants sometimes and Id love to hear your take, if you have one, on what monsters (namely "naturally occurring" ones like draconids and insectoids) contribute to the ecosystem if anything and whether or not they should be hunted into extinction. I was discussing it w/ a friend last night after dealing with Iocaste, the last silver basilisk, and now its smthn I'm Invested in

re monster ecosystems: I just figure theyve probably found a niche in the world by now and can eat anything smaller incl. humans but because theyve got no natural predators aside from eachother and arent hunted by anything but witchers , monsters are just breeding and eating and wldnt that damage the land? or have they made their own like, circle of life or whatever ? Ive little knowledge on the subject as a whole but the whole thing intrigues me

hi & extremely belated welcome, anon! my apologies for the length of time you’ve been waiting for this answer; I had to think carefully about how I wanted to respond to this ask, because: there’s a lot going on here. also, because I am a disaster, I ended up posting it to ao3 first while I was avoiding tumblr for a spell and then completely forgot to come back. oops. i’m sorry!! This one’s about 5000 words long, which is a lot for tumblr, so reading on AO3 may be preferable.

-

The two main thrusts of your first ask (how do monsters interact with the ecosystem and should they be eradicated from the Continent) are questions of invasion ecology, the study of non-native/invasive species and their effects on the environment. Monsters, having arrived on the Continent about 1200 years ago during the Conjunction of Spheres from entirely alien dimensions, are indeed technically non-native species!

However, invasion ecology is…somewhat controversial, to say the least—there are a lot of invasive species, who have a lot of different & complex impacts, and a lot of different ideas about what we might do about any of this, and it’s basically all arguing all the time, so I wasn’t really sure how I wanted to approach the topic. Not to mention that for reasons I couldn’t initially put my finger on, it seemed wrong to apply theories of invasion ecology to the Witcher monsters. We’ll get into it! There are also a couple of common misconceptions/oversimplifications of how ecology works in your second ask which I want to unpack. Hopefully I pulled this together into something that makes sense, and feel free to ask me for clarification!

Some important background facts:

Species have always been moving to and “invading” new places on their own; humans and globalization have accelerated this process into a Big Problem, as the sheer number of invasive species being introduced all over the globe strains ecosystems already under pressure, but “native ranges” are always shifting, sometimes more dramatically than you might expect. If you go far enough back in time, all species are “non-native”.

Because of this, the very definition of “invasive species” is hotly contested. This is why you’ll hear dozens of terms like introduced species, injurious species, naturalized species, non-native species, etc.; these all have slightly different connotations, but all refer to a species that did not originate in a particular location.

An introduced species is usually classified as “invasive” as opposed to “non-native” or “naturalized” if its presence significantly alters the ecosystem it invades; some people define this more narrowly as a species that causes harm to an ecosystem. “Harm” can take a lot of different forms, as every non-native species interacts differently with the ecosystem they were introduced to.

Aside from various potential impacts to human economic activity, most forms of ecological harm by introduced species involve the decline of native species, by a variety of mechanisms; invaders might eat natives, outcompete them for food, interbreed with them, carry novel pathogens, etc. Invasive species are primarily a threat to biodiversity.

Now, here’s my Hot Take:

The Conjunction of Spheres is analogous to real-life ecological cataclysms such as the Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event, and thus monsters are not invasive species.

The Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event saw the extinction of 75% of all species on Earth after the Chicxulub asteroid hit, including the non-avian dinosaurs. The Earth has had several disasters like this, of varying severity—the Great Oxidation Event killed almost literally everything on Earth except for the cyanobacteria who caused it. These cataclysmic extinction events completely upended existing ecosystems, altering habitats beyond recognition and leaving swathes of niches emptied of life that the survivors could evolve to exploit.

The most recent Conjunction of Spheres on the Continent is supposed to have thrown everyone living on the planet at the time into chaos and darkness; it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume that the interpenetration of multiple spheres caused mass extinction of species living in the pre-Conjunction environment, similar to Chicxulub or the GOE!

But Socks, you might say, evolution works on a massive timescale! It took millions of years to fill the niches left open by Chicxulub, but it’s only been 1200 years since the Conjunction of Spheres! And you are absolutely right*, but the Conjunction of Spheres canonically came pre-loaded with new species. We actually have no proof that any of the animals we see originated on the Continent: if humans are a post-Conjunction phenomenon, why not also dogs? Why not bears? Who’s to say any of those were actually there before-hand? (The elves, I guess, but as they have not, actually, said so, there’s no proof!!)

* FTR, 1200 years is a shockingly short period of time to go from cataclysm that plunged the world into darkness and chaos to functioning medieval-era society considering how long it actually took humanity to build 13 century Europe (horses had been domesticated for at least 3000 years by that time), even if we’re not assuming that most of the ecosystem was destroyed, so, my timeline concerns here are minimal, lmfao. TIMELINE WHAT TIMELINE.

…and actually now that I think about it the three options for the origin of dogs are a) elves or dwarves domesticated them, b) humans brought dogs with them during the Conjunction, or c) dogs have existed for less than 1200 years, and I refuse to accept that dogs are practically a new invention in the witcherverse, wtf.

Anyways: we really have no idea which species are truly “native” to the Continent, or what the physical environment was like prior to the Conjunction. While monsters are not native to the Continent, monsters are also not invasive—there cannot be decline of pre-Conjunction biodiversity or harm to the pre-Conjunction ecosystem because there is no pre-Conjunction ecosystem anymore.

should monsters be hunted to extinction?

So, the thing is, I think we should try to eradicate invasive species from non-native ranges if we can; the biggest problem with that is feasibility, not morality. It’s much more difficult than one might think to eradicate an invasive species once it’s established, and we have to be very careful that the methods we choose don’t have other impacts, but invasive species are a huge threat to the biodiversity of Earth! If monsters are invasive species, then the answer is yes, they should be eradicated from the places they are not native to.

(Notably, on Earth this kind of eradication is not the same thing as extinction; it would be a local extinction, or extirpation, where the species is totally wiped out in the places it invaded but still exists in its native range. This does get way more complicated if the invasive is already extinct in its native range.)

However, I have just outlined a possibility that would make it plausible for monsters not to be invasive species. Let me also outline why I prefer this interpretation. Here is a book conversation between the sorcerer Dorregaray of Vole and Geralt:

“Our world is in equilibrium. The annihilation, the killing, of any creatures that inhabit this world upsets that equilibrium. And a lack of equilibrium brings closer extinction; extinction and the end of the world as we know it. … Every species has its own natural enemies, every one is the natural enemy of other species. That also includes humans. The extermination of the natural enemies of humans, which you dedicate yourself to, and which one can begin to observe, threatens the degeneration of the race.”

“Do you know what, sorcerer?” Geralt said, annoyed. “One day, take yourself to a mother whose child has been devoured by a basilisk, and tell her she ought to be glad, because thanks to that the human race has escaped degeneration. See what she says to you.”

–The Bounds of Reason, ch. 6

This is a, uh, incredibly unsubtle reference to a debate that has been ongoing for decades; Geralt’s stance here is one of the key arguments in opposition to wolf and bear reintroduction. What do we do about large predators that may pose a threat to humans? How do we balance preservation of the ecosystem with the safety of people who have to coexist with these predators?

I can’t fully agree with Geralt, because large predators are integral to the ecosystem, which I value for its own sake and because humans depend on healthy ecosystems. But I can’t fully agree with Dorregaray either, because Geralt is right: human life is valuable and worthy of protecting. This is an issue that India has been running into in the past ten years; as their tiger conservation efforts yield fruit, people become more likely to encounter tigers, and thus more likely to have a bad encounter with a tiger. It’s become a political struggle as rural people who have to actually live with the possibility of a tiger attack come into conflict with urban conservationists who just really want to preserve tigers (& in some incidents, some of those conservationists have been Western, which is a whole additional level of fuckery). The fact is, there isn’t a good answer to this yet! We certainly should not drive tigers, wolves, or any other large predator to extinction, but we also have to figure out a way to keep people safe. It’s something humanity still has to wrestle with.

Under this framing, which CDPR reinforced when they chose to have the Count di Salvaress defend Iocaste as an endangered species while making significant provisions to minimize the damage she could do to human life, there’s far too much baggage attached for me to say yes, monsters should be hunted into extinction. If you’re going to make monsters analogous to wolves, of course I do not think we should get rid of monsters entirely!

And frankly, Geralt doesn’t think so either, despite his hardline stance about monsters that eat humans. Sapkowski isn’t exactly an anti-conservationist; though Dorregaray is shown as out of touch in this passage, at another point the narrative sides with him calling Philippa out on exterminating a species of ermine for her fur collar, and it’s consistently put forth that Geralt’s best quality is that he doesn’t want to perform violence for the sake of it or destroy things without cause, and one of the representations of that is that he refuses to kill endangered species even at cost to himself:

“What should I say about you, who rejects a lucrative proposition every other day? You won’t kill hirikkas, because they’re an endangered species, or mecopterans, because they’re harmless, or night spirits, because they’re sweet, or dragons, because your code forbids it.”

–Eternal Flame, ch. 2

If monsters and other post-Conjunction creatures are invasive species, the nuance in this conversation is flattened, and Geralt’s refusal to kill mecopterans and hirikkas becomes a flaw rather than a virtue. Boring! I also think that one of the strongest themes in the witcherverse is the idea of all monsters being human ills; wraiths are manifestations of hatred, necrophages multiply because of human bloodshed, cursed ones are created out of malice, mages like Alzur and Idarran of Ulivo go out of their way to straight-up create monsters from scratch*, etc. Iocaste attacks humans and takes livestock because the traditional prey of the silver basilisk, roe deer, has been extirpated by human destruction of their habitat. The aeschna in Blood of Elves attacks humans because humans have altered and polluted the flow of the Pontar, hunting the aeschna’s previous food (seals) to extinction. The true monster is the actions of humans. Monsters that appeared unbidden from another dimension into a previously functional ecosystem to invade and cause problems undermines this theme; monsters that are integrated into the ecosystem and subject to the same social and ecological forces as other animals supports it.

* Idarran’s “idr” monsters from Season of Storms absolutely should be eradicated. Did the world not have enough man-eating arthropods, Idarran? Did you really have to mutate horrible new ones and release them in populated areas?? Mages are a scourge, lmfao

Additionally, one of the biggest reasons I felt like I couldn’t actually apply invasion ecology to monsters was that, whether you accept my Conjunction theory as sufficient biological justification for this or not, monsters just don’t really behave like invasive species. It’s hard to explain this because the setting is pretty brief about its ecological details, but aside from the fact that the narrative frames them like just part of the ecosystem of the world, there are never any details like “that type of flower doesn’t exist anymore because giant centipede tunneling destroyed the soil they needed to grow in.” When monsters are the aggressors, their victims are always humans, not the environment or other animals, and again monsters are themselves often treated as victims of human actions.

So I say monsters aren’t invasive species!

Which means that monsters are, regardless of their strange origins, now a part of the Continent’s ecosystem just as much as bears and wolves.

So let’s talk monster ecology.

what do monsters contribute to the ecosystem, if anything?

So, the phrase “contributing to the ecosystem” is actually super loaded, and I want to unpack that before we go anywhere else. Ecosystems are made up of organisms, and organisms interact with and impact ecosystems, but they don’t necessarily contribute to ecosystems! The implication of “contribute” is that it is possible for an organism to not contribute, and it follows from there that some organisms are not useful. This is functionally nonsensical, and also dangerous.

Conservationists talk a lot about “intrinsic value,” which in this context is the idea that we should want to keep species around just because their existence is valuable! Biodiversity is intrinsically valuable. This is important, firstly because I do believe that all species are intrinsically valuable, but also: ecosystems are so enormously complicated that we do not know the full extent of any species or individual organism’s impact, and we can’t predict what the consequences of removing any given species might be. Treating all species as intrinsically valuable is hedging our bets. All organisms affect the ecosystem, because it’s impossible for them not to, and while some species definitely have outsize impact, none of them are “not contributing,” and frankly even if some of them weren’t, it would be the absolute height of human arrogance for us to decide we could tell which ones were useless when we barely even know what most species eat. Mosquitoes are the base of the entire goddamn food chain, and you still get assholes claiming they don’t “contribute anything.” Of course, most people don’t really mean all of these implications when they use the phrase, but I don’t find it useful to talk about what species “contribute,” and avoid using that language if I can!

What I assume you mean by “what do monsters contribute” is a combination of “what roles might monsters play in the ecosystem” and “are monsters actively harmful to the ecosystem, i.e. do they cause loss of biodiversity?”

And this is difficult to answer! As I’ve said, I don’t think monsters are invasive species, and thus don’t harm the ecosystem, though we know that monsters can be harmful to humans. However, when it comes to the role they do play in the ecosystem, there isn’t enough in canon for me to do more than wildly speculate! Also, there are so so many of them, and the role of a hirikka is going to be wildly different from that of a draconid.

Just offhandedly, most of the big predatory monsters can be assumed to fill the same roles as Earth’s big predators, one of the big ones being overpopulation of prey species, which has ramifications throughout the ecosystem. Some of them are canonically ecosystem engineers, or animals that physically alter their environment (think beavers); for instance, shaelmaar and nekker tunneling. Additionally, the big insectoid colonies can’t be relying solely on naturally-occurring caves for their homes; they’ve gotta be constructing some stuff themselves. These tunnels can be repurposed as habitat for other organisms, from giant centipedes to sewant mushrooms. Necrophages, like corpse-eaters in our world, likely limit the spread of diseases from decomposing flesh (and really wouldn’t be as much of an issue if everyone would stop, you know, doing war and mass murder, lmfao). Arachasae use tree trunks and organic plant material to conceal themselves, which is likely contributing to plant reproduction in a few different ways—but the arachasae decorating essay is a different topic that I swear I will finish one day oh my god—

…anyways, feel free to ask about any specific monsters or niches if you’re curious, but if I tried to go into detail with every single potential niche/ecosystem service all of the monsters we know of might fill, we would be here all day!

Let’s talk about a couple specific things you brought up in your second ask.

> theyve probably found a niche in the world by now and can eat anything smaller incl. humans

I mean…maybe! That is, yeah, they’ve definitely settled into niches by now, but feeding is way more complicated and interesting than that.

For instance: orcas can eat basically whatever the fuck they want—orcas are fully capable of bringing down everything from fish to seals to gray whales to great white sharks. But they don’t. In the Pacific Northwest, the resident orca pods almost exclusively eat salmon, while the transient pods largely feed on seals. Orcas are kind of an extreme example, but this is something called resource partitioning and it’s a big part of how animals limit competition with one another and what enables lots of predators to coexist in one place!

We see a big fuck-off dragon thing and we assume that it’ll eat anything it can fit in its mouth, and definitely some predators work like that. But just because an animal is technically capable of eating something and deriving nutrition from it doesn’t mean that it will. Silver basilisks made roe deer the staple of their diet before the destruction of beech forests meant they had to turn to humans—which is a pretty specific dietary restriction when there should be multiple species of deer running around, not to mention everything else a draconid could be killing! And given how many types of draconid there are…I have to assume there’s some kind of resource partitioning going on to prevent them all from conflicting with each other! For instance, if basilisks prefer roe deer, maybe forktails prefer wild goats, while wyverns are mostly kleptoparasitic (stealing other predators’ kills).

And of course, not all monsters eat humans at all; harpies steal from and attack humans, so they’re a dangerous nuisance, but they don’t seem to eat them. And in the books Geralt mentions plenty of monsters which are totally harmless.

So yes, there are lots of things monsters could be eating, but it would strongly depend, and there’s a lot of interesting places one can take monster diets! Netflix decided their strigas only eat specific organs, leaving the rest of the body untouche, & I love that for her. More monsters that need a particular kind of nutrition that leads them to take only specific body parts from some kills!

> because theyve got no natural predators aside from each other and arent hunted by anything but witchers, monsters are just breeding and eating and wldnt that damage the land? or have they made their own like, circle of life or whatever ?

Absolutely—invasive species whose populations rapidly increase once they’re away from their natural predators cause the decline of native species, often by eating natives directly or competing with natives for resources. And in fact, even native species who become overpopulated can seriously damage the ecosystem (see: white-tailed deer in the United States, whose overpopulation has such negative ecological effects that some people argue we should classify them as invasive, even though they have definitely been here this whole time).

However, even if we grant that monsters are invasive, it’s a little more complicated than that for a few reasons!

Despite the apparent preponderance of them in the witcher games, most monsters are supposed to be strongly on the decline, like witchers themselves. Geralt’s profession is falling out of necessity; human development of the Continent is going to be the biggest suppressing factor in monster populations in the future. Monster overpopulation is just canonically not a problem in this universe! But even in the scenario where the Inevitable March Of Civilization isn’t threatening monster populations, there are a lot of factors that could and would limit monster populations.

(TL;DR for this next part: yeah I definitely think they’ve figured out their own little circle of life—the term you’re looking for is ecosystem equilibrium, btw!—& I’m going to take the next 1.2k to talk about how.)

For starters, predation is only one among many limiting factors that affect populations & prevent them from ballooning out of control:

food availability: If there’s not enough food, there’s not enough food! It also matters how adaptable the animal’s diet is—silver basilisks moved from deer to humans, but if the eucalyptus went extinct koalas would not switch to eating cycads.

illness and parasites: Some people argue these are more important than direct predation for limiting populations, and I am often inclined to agree. Basically, if a population becomes very dense, illness and parasites spread more quickly, creating a natural limiter on how many animals can live in any one place. The greater susceptibility of some individuals to illness or parasites also winnows down populations. Non-native species often escape a good portion of their native diseases by moving to a new range—however, given how fast bacteria and viruses evolve, 1,200 years is a pretty decent amount of time for new diseases to arise. Also, just going to drop a link to my treatise on monster parasites here. It’s gross, mind the warning at the start of the post.

mate availability: If only a certain percentage of the population is actually able to reproduce, that’ll eventually bring the total number down. RIP Iocaste’s boyfriend 😔

territory/shelter availability: Animals need a certain amount of space and certain types of spaces to survive, and space isn’t infinite! It again depends on how adaptable an animal is; rats find ways to thrive nearly everywhere, but pandas can only live where there’s bamboo. If there’s not enough space to hide from predators, reproduce safely, store food, and avoid adverse weather, the population again limits itself naturally.

natural disasters: Wildfires, drought, flooding, tsunamis, storms, etc. pick off significant portions of wildlife populations. Disasters are sporadic rather than directly linked to population like most of the other factors but these periodic blows to population and the other impacts of fire or flooding are often integral to the ecosystem (see especially: fire regimes and fire ecology.)

Now let’s talk predation & monsters! (Genuinely, I think predation is one of the most interesting things in ecology; people tend to simplify it down to things eat other things, which—yeah, but there’s so much more going on there!)

First, I wouldn’t underestimate the effects of monsters eating other monsters! Even if it’s rare for a draconid to snatch up a nekker and carry it off, the threat of a draconid doing so can have dramatic impacts; researchers found that just playing the sound of dog barks on a beach stopped raccoons from foraging for crabs for over a month after the barking stopped, leading to an increase in crab populations, even though no raccoons ever encountered a dog. This is called the ecosystem of fear (which as a term is metal as hell) and it theorizes that just the fear of predators can lead to chronic stress for prey animals, decreasing reproduction and making them more susceptible to disease. Maybe draconids in Toussaint eat only a few dozen nekkers a year, but that might cause thousands of nekkers to have fewer offspring or fall to disease. When it comes to ecosystems the direct effect is usually only a small part of the story!

Second, when we talk about a species not having natural predators, we’re usually talking about an animal that would have a predator back in its home range—lionfish, for instance, have plenty of predators in their natural range (the Indo-Pacific), but no natural predators in their invasive range (the Caribbean), so invasive lionfish, suddenly freed of a limiting factor, can run amok. However, a great white shark has, aside from orcas (who do not actually eat white sharks, they’re just assholes sometimes) and occasionally other white sharks, more or less no natural predators anywhere once it reaches maturity, and that’s fine! Lack of predation of great white sharks did not cause their populations to explode and consume the ocean. White sharks are limited by other factors.

So: it is possible that wherever draconids originated (and it’s entirely possible that “draconids” came from multiple different places, tbh) there was something bigger that preyed on them, but it’s not unreasonable to assume they were also apex predators in their previous dimension (I mean…look at them), and that adult draconids were never really preyed on by anything else! It isn’t necessarily an issue for there not to be predators of certain monsters on the Continent.

(Though, of course, we also shouldn’t forget that most apex predators are prey when they’re young—baby white sharks are snack-sized for a lot of fishes, and bear cubs and wolf pups are similarly vulnerable. Based on the size of the eggs you see in TW3 draconid nests, a basilisk is hatched around the size of a little dog, which is the perfect size for small, ballsy predators such as wolverines to sneak into a nest and snap them up—predators such as more wolverines or raptors like eagles and hawks might also come directly for the eggs.)

When it comes to smaller monsters such as nekkers, who likely weren’t apex predators in their original dimensions and would thus be subject to that lack of natural predators—there are usually specific reasons why prey species manage to avoid predation in their introduced range. Lionfish confound Caribbean predators because lionfish are covered with huge poisonous spines that Caribbean predators don’t know how to deal with.

Drowners, on the other hand, are basically just man-shaped fish; they don’t have any adaptations or defenses that would really stump a bear or a wolf. Again, bigger monsters are still probably checking the populations of smaller monsters no matter what, but there’s really no reason a bear couldn’t figure out how to eat a drowner! Unless a monster has a unique defense (e.g. scurver spines), is actively distasteful to eat (rotfiends, probably), or is just difficult to take down (nekkers in packs), most of the non-monster predators* on the Continent will have incorporated various monsters into their diet by now, or suppressed monster populations indirectly with the threat of predation or by competing with them for food. It has been over a thousand years, which is nothing evolutionarily but is still a decent period of time for mammals, who pass hunting techniques down to their babies, to figure out how to eat ghouls—especially if we’re considering that the Continent’s mammals may also be a result of the Conjunction and would thus have to have been just as adaptable as the monsters to establish themselves. And I’ve also actually talked before about how wolves specifically might be preying on necrophages!

* For reference, the non-monster predators are, considering the Continent is more or less Europe, most likely lynxes, brown bears/polar bears (in Skellige), wolverines, foxes, badgers, and a variety of large birds of prey.

So—yes, if monsters were truly overpopulating, then that would damage the ecosystem. However, canon tells us they are definitely not doing that, and there are also many factors that would prevent that from happening!

(Though I will say that some of the reasons white-tailed deer are overpopulated are that we got rid of cougars and wolves and human development creates a lot of extra habitat of the type that deer like. Given that we know many of draconids are for sure in significant danger of going extinct, and the trajectory that Europe’s wolf and bear populations followed in real life, it is possible that the Continent will have to contend with an overpopulation of some of the smaller monsters at some point as they continue to try to eradicate the larger predators, both monster and non-monsters—you think the drowner problem is bad now, wait until the bears are gone and city development has tripled the number of sewers. Yet another of those humans-make-monster-problems-worse things I am fond of in the Witcherverse!)

…whew. that was a lot of words. In conclusion: ecology is really cool & there’s a bunch of ways monsters can fit into it!!

[sneezy-cheeseloaf]

recounting the entire avengers: endgame movie, which i only saw once when it came out, from memory

because i just took the SAT and i want to do anything except think about that so get ready for a fun ride full of holes and my reenactments of scenes and quotes that i remember from however many years it’s been now since endgame came out. buckle the fuckle up

movie opens, clint’s whole ass family fucking dies. cue killing spree fueled by grief and anger. HashTag Relatable

tony is floating through space with nebula and teaching her how to play paper football

holy shit is this how tony dies

“pep” ouc h

oh hey he’s home, dope

The Gang (tm) learns where thanos’s farm is somehow i can’t really remember

“perhaps i judged you too harshly”

“???? thor????” “what? i went for the head”

“five” five what?? days?? weeks??? months???? oh boy i can’t wait to find ou- “years later” HUH???????

steve looks the exact same, so i guess he kept up that workout schedule even through the snap. i mean good for him honestly

and is also running a talk therapy group like sam did

a single smidgen of gay representation but it’s a good start ig

i don’t really remember what everyone else was doing, i just know that tony and pep have morgan now but idk if that gets revealed now or later

the only reason we had a movie is because of a rat. everyone say thank you to Rat for releasing scott lang, please. round of applause

scott’s daughter is all grown up and catch me sobbing over the fact that he wasn’t there to see it

somewhere in here nat is crying and eating a sandwich and honestly girl same

“hey!!! it’s me!!!! scott lang!!! ant man???? also what the hell happened???? lemme IN”

cue scott lang having a single brain cell and bringing up time travel. i think it was him that proposed the idea. maybe not. but imma give him credit

oh yeah bruce and hulk are besties now and bruce is just permanently Like That

and cue everyone being shook at the idea of time travel

time to go see Science Man at his house on the lake

“i wish you had come for anything else.” ouch

gang leaves dejectedly

peter. that’s it. and suddenly tony is all hands on deck

cue science mumbo jumbo in the middle of the night while he eats something out of a bag that i can’t remember

“shit!!” “sHiT!!!” “NO”

“i love you 3000″

Science Man reveals that he has, indeed cracked the code to literal time travel

cue nat, the only person with an umbrella, going to find clint who is busy with murder, as he does

“don’t do that. don’t give me home” stfu budapest man and get in the car.

thor has. enlargened. and is now playing fortnight with korg as a means to cope with what happened plus losing loki, as i think we all would

The Gang is back together and working (surprisingly) coordinately and throwing ideas around and it’s actually very cute. and it makes my heart very happy. and i want to cry every time i think about it because we all know what comes next

scott’s taco gets blown away. bruce gives him another. all is well in the world

and in this exhibit we see the only brain cell in the whole group, which is being used by rhodey at all times

“why don’t we just,,,, (choking motion)” “to a BABY???”

during the time tests someone gets reverted to a baby but i don’t remember who and it’s highkey disturbing

“i consider this an absolute win!!”

cue slo mo walk with the cool white time suits that everyone looks so good in

“see you in a minute” that smile. she looks so happy. sobbing

i think it’s in here that all the color go through steve’s eyes, so let’s just take a minute to acknowledge how pretty he is

“just for the record, that suit did nothing for your ass.” “i don’t remember asking you to look”

“that’s america’s ass.” yes it is scott you’re absolutely right

“i cOuLd dO tHiS aLL dAy” “yeah i knoOoOW”

time for tony to give tony a heart attack and then just stare in what i can only assume is amusement. i’m pretty sure that comes after america’s ass but maybe not

somewhere in here steve is just staring at peggy through blinds and it’s sad when you see it but when you think about it afterwards, it’s so funny for no reason

time to get whacked by a very angry hulk who was not allowed to use the elevator

“NO STAIRS”

tony goes flying. so does the tesseract. loki, in handcuffs, is like “oh bet this is mine now” and. Leaves.

i’m pretty sure it’s bruce who goes and gets schooled by The Ancient One on the multiverse, and i say it’s bruce because i think he’s the only one out of The Gang who could ever actually wrap his head around it

i don’t remember exactly how they get the tesseract but they do

thor and rocket are in asgard and thor has a panic attack, as I think we all would if we had to talk to our dead mother and pretend like we don't know what's going to happen

and remember kids, slapping someone is not the way to handle a panic attack. anyways

a mother always knows

"i'm still worthy!!!!" you always were, thor. you never stopped being worthy

and we have our hammer back

cue sobbing on vormir

“clint. it’s ok. it’s ok.” that smile.

nat’s fucking dead and i’m fucking dead inside let’s keep this party goin

other stones are recovered and i don’t really remember how but hey we got all six

“where’s nat?” cue more sobbing from me and from clint as you can see each and every team member’s heart drop to the fucking floor. especially steve

yeah maybe we’re doing this for half the universe and all the people we lost, but mostly for nat now

tony’s makeshift infinity gauntlet has entered the chat

Green Man is the only one who can physically take the power of the stones, so the fate of literally everything they have ever done up to this point is on him

snap rest in peace bruce’s arm

cue every single person in the theater holding their breath

“guys. it worked.”

cue explosion as their facility gets bombed and i am terrified that it has killed the entire gang

but it obviously has not and i am once again a Class A Idiot

i can't remember if it’s steve or tony who wakes up first but one shakes the other awake and is like “get the fuck up bitch idk what just happened but we got a problem”

everyone is mostly fine. but they’re all alive and that’s what matters

and now we have the setting for the entire rest of the movie basically

oh hey thanos. that’s uh. that’s a big army you got there

i don’t really remember everything that happened with The Past thanos, gamora, and nebula but i remember that gamora once again sees what a twat her adoptive father is and is like “oh hell na”

cue the gang fighting for their lives against Past thanos. literally

oh shit thor’s about to be killed????

OH MY GOD HE HAS THE HAMMER

cue the theater screaming as they should

hell yeah. bonk that giant space grape with the god of thunder’s hammer. you go steve. and look like a badass doing it as you should

shit’s still fucked and they eventually get their asses handed to them one by one

somewhere in here the shield breaks just like we saw in age of ultron. and like damn bro i liked that thing

steve stands up by himself because bitch. you cant kill him unless he says so. he dies on his own terms. he didn’t live for over a fucking century to die like this

our mans is standing up against a whole ass army knowing full well that he can’t win but damn if he aint ready to try

“ok listen strange. you have to open the portal to his left. his LEFT. you hear me???”

“steve. STEVE. on your left.”

cue the most goosebump-inducing scene that i have ever seen and probably will ever see. i would do anything to see that scene for the first time again. that feeling was like nothing i’ve ever experienced

the amazing symphonics are NOT helping my already-about-to-explode-from-excitement heart

now the gang’s ALL here. and we all cry because all of our peeps are back from the dead and we all missed them and highkey grieved for them after infinity war

i can’t remember if steve actually sees bucky yet but i think he does and i wanted to cry on the spot because not only did i miss bucky but man did i just want them to see each other again

cue sick pan of the whole ass marvel roster like smash ultimate, including howard duck somewhere in there

PETER OUR BOY SWINGIN ON IN

“AVENGERS. assemble.” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

but we all know damn well that not a single person could hear him whisper that shit. like steve bro speak up a little

and the battle for the ages commences

we get to see all our favorite boys are girls fuck shit up and it’s absolutely incredible. wow it really feels like someone’s missing who could that be.

this is now a very elaborate game of keepaway

“catch” “Catch” “CATCH “CATCH”

“hey queens” he remembered. catch me cryin

“hey peter. got somethin for me?” god i love her. flew through a whole ass spaceship. no stoppin her

t'challa remembers clint's name. he did care

oh yeah scott is fucking humongous again, but third time’s the charm ig. maybe he won't pass the fuck out this time

somewhere in here, strange starts holding like. an entire ocean back and i dont really remember where it came from

we get a whole segment of marvel women kicking ass and taking names and i think i just need to take a minute. WE collectively need to take a minute

carol flies straight through a spaceship and everyone is like ???? hello????? where have you been?????????

carol gets literally headbutted by thanos and doesnt move a fucking inch. and that look of murder in her eyes. she could tell me to walk into a pit of lava and i would not question it. the power

“launch the missiles!!!” “but sir, our army-” “DO IT”

damn thanos our expectations for you were low but holy fuck

somewhere in here i think petter quill sees Past gamora and is like gamora???? and she like kicks him in the balls or somethin and is like “this is the ones i picked?????”

the fight continues and honestly a lot of it’s a blur but damn was it not the coolest thing i’ve ever seen. 

cue strange knowing exactly how this was gonna go down, and holding up a single finger

i dont think ive ever seen that look on tony's face before

oh shit thanos has the gauntlet and all the stones. fuck.

wait holdup that gauntlet looks a little funky

WAIT HOLDUP

“i am inevitable”

“and i. am iron man.”

the theater, once again holds its breath

all is lowkey calm and everyone is shook

thanos’s entire army slowly fades away. including one of those big worm things that almost eats (i think it was) rocket but like. dusts right as it hits the ground and is a really cool shot

and thanos sits down on a rock. and finally is gone. and it's so cathartic

oh joyous day!! they’ve won!! they’ve done it!!! wait holdup where’s tony. i remember what happened to bruce where the fuck is tony

wait

wait hold on

wait hold on a minute

“we did it. we won, mr stark. we won. please, mr stark”

“pep.”

“it’s ok. you can rest. you can rest.”

i have officially passed away and am a sobbing mess. you can’t do this to me. he’s gonna come back. there’s no way. tony stark doesn’t die. no.

this is a fucking funeral. i am going to combust into tears

“proof that tony stark has a heart”

i just wanted him to be able to see morgan grow up.

but him and nat are eating shawarma together in the sky now.

“i’m recording this in case something goes wrong, which it won’t.”

“i love you 3000.”

oh we’re still rolling. oh we don’t even get a minute to process

steve is leaving??? wait holdup we cant lose both. no

“are you sure about this?” “i have to”

“i’m with you til the end of the line” so that was a fucking lie

but steve deserves to do what makes him happy. so i can’t be too mad. actually, nah i aint even mad i’m just sad

bucky looks so dejected. so sad. someone please give him a hug. he desperately needs it

oh hey steve. but you’re old now. hey then, grandpa. how did you. get there

buck and sam go talk to him as they should

“you wanna talk about her?” “no, i don’t think i will”

“how does it feel?” “like it belongs to someone else”

sam has officially inhered the shield, and by extension, his very own bucky barnes. it’s a packaged deal

clint’s got his family back. and they can finally finish their picnic or whatever they were doing at the beginning of the movies

and steve finally got that dance. finally. and he looks so happy. so content.

and that’s about all i remember

i have not watched endgame since i saw it in theaters when it came out because i absolutely do not have the emotional stability to do it again. but damn the disney plus shows have been bangin

i hope you enjoyed the ride, thank you for joining me in my. whatever the fuck this is

[megacarapa]

1, 8, 14 n 18 :3

1. your favourite playlist (made by yourself or someone else)

👉LINK!!👈

its mostly tns but theres other stuff too i prommie <3

but also i understand this question is definitely actually about music playlists dhhdjd... i have so many playlists on spotify and i love them all so fucking much but if i had to pick a favourite.. very embarrasing but i have 3 seperate sengen playlists FSHDHDJA and im obsessed w them they make me so happy

8. if you were going to write a non-fiction book on any topic, what would it be?

you already know this but imma explain if anyone else is reading... late last year i got into a bit of a baking phase that lasted like a month n i was basically just trying to learn different recipes all the time (tho it was all just really simple stuff tbh) and i thought it would be fun to keep a ""cooking diary"" n write abt the process of making all this stuff aswell as any other thoughts and sometimes i go back n reread it and its so fucking stupid but also funny fshdhha multiple times it came to my mind "this would be so fucking funny as a book", like idk if it would actually work but this is definitely the kinda book i would buy sgsghfha

14. an artist (of any kind) whose work you look forward to seeing

dcon_34 on twitter GDHDHA i love their art so much, also the author of 3000 miles i loved that that fic sm im so looking forward to whatever else they write :')

18. a book series you can always escape in

if the question was for manga or sth then i could give like 15 answers but since its book specific idk really what to say fhdhda much less a book SERIES, i havent been reading alot of books lately TwT fdgdh uhh its not a series but simon vs the homosapiens agenda is the book ive reread the most times, def one of my favourite books ^-^

also lucy i was hinting that u reblog this too so i can send u asks 🙄!

[earthlyemily]

I’m struggling so much financially and honestly just wanted to vent somewhere. I’ve always lived in poverty and I think in my whole life I’ve had maybe 2 years where I didn’t have to stress about money and not be able to buy groceries or pay rent or be put into collections for not being able to make payments etc and that was when I was in college. For at least the past 5 years I’ve been struggling but I never talk about it. I don’t even know where to start haha I don’t even know what it’s like to not stress financially and be in debt. I’ll just start with the first things that come to mind with what I’m owing maybe. So it’s Dec. 23 and rent was due yesterday because we moved into this small suite attached to someone’s house on Nov. 22. It’s $1200 which is so expensive, but also the average price for BC if not even cheaper for a one-bedroom with a yard, utilities included. and no first and last, no pet deposits, etc because this is just short them for 4 months until the end of March because i reached out and asked and they said yes.

After 1 month I already remember why we went into the trailer almost 2 years ago and it’s literally because we can’t afford any other lifestyle. I think that’s the difference between us and some people that live in trailers, vans, etc. like we lived in a mouse & mouse shit infested trailer for 6 months breathing in their feces and urine and having it all over all our belongings. i literally had to take my whole life to the dump and we officially have no food storage because they ruined it all. there were at least 50-60 mice because a few birth cycles happened in the ceiling. I could write a whole post about my experience of living with field mice, but now isn’t the time so for rent, i only had $600 yesterday so that’s what I gave them. thank goodness they were okay with me asking for a few more days to make the other half. but I don’t even know when that’s going to be :(

my etsy shop veganveins has been doing so bad lately for more than one reason, most of my orders are just postcards and stickers, and while I’m grateful for them, that $1-3 profit isn’t going to keep my business going. and it’s so hard for me to work lately. the wifi doesn’t work sometimes for hours and I always get distracted by shawn and the dogs working from home in a small space. I need to get better at my time management. I got up at 8:30 today which is actually early for me so I’m proud of myself. I’m chronically ill and I really need to go get a blood test and see what’s happening because I haven’t gotten one since being diagnosed with graves disease again 1.5 years ago. anyways. i switched to a print on demand method this year for veganveins for some shirts and sweaters because i couldn’t afford to keep ordering shirts in bulk, and it’s honestly been so, so expensive and i barely make any profit. I’m currently owing my t-shirt printer $999 on one invoice (it was originally $2196 so I’ve at least paid half of it) but that was 2 weeks ago and I still need to pay it. Mario, my t-shirt printer has been with me since I started veganveins and I’m so grateful he gives me extensions on paying the invoices. every other t-shirt printer I’ve ever asked has said no. in addition to the $999 there’s going to be another $2200 invoice I’ll be receiving this week for my last order. I think because of the holidays he’s going to give me some time to pay off that too, but the problem is when I have outstanding invoices he doesn’t print new orders for me. He’s closed now until Jan. 4 so I just need to somehow make that much before then.

btw I don’t have a credit card ($8500 all used on veganveins and it got put into collections last march) and I had a fully used $5000 line of credit but I got a debt consolidation loan for $16,000 1 month ago and my payment for that is $167 a month. it fully paid off and closed my credit card and line of credit + $3000 overdraft which is nice. but now I don’t have any extra money except for what comes in. my credit is only 640 which is really bad in canada so I won’t get approved for a new credit card or loan until I build that up, which is going to be a few months of regular payments. so for regular payments, the $167 for the loan is due on Dec. 27. Yesterday the trailer loan which is literally unliveable from what the mice did until we renovate it came out for $260, that’s how much I pay once a month for it on the 22nd. I didn’t have $260 in my account so it got rejected and I got charged a $48 NSF fee. omg if anyone is reading this long i’m shook. i’m genuinely just writing this for myself to process my feelings and in case anyone was curious about my financial situation here you go haha. maybe some of you can relate, maybe some can’t. anyways. so now I somehow have to get $260 in my account for that for when they try to take it out again in the next few days.

another payment that was supposed to come out yesterday but hasn’t, but I’m sure will come out today is our truck loan. they deferred it for 8 months because of covid which was so nice, but we started paying it again 2 months ago. for both those months I called and made my payment a later date and that helped, but there’s barely any service here so when I called 4 times yesterday to try and change the date the payment comes out, I was on hold for 20-30 mins then my phone would disconnect and hang up. so that’s $586 and it will come out today, I have $0.46 in my account right now so it will get rejected and I’ll get charged another $48 NSF fee. this is why being poor always costs more and the banks are always harsher on those who don’t have money. today I’ll try calling again to see if I can ask for it to come out on a different day like january 10 instead, so I can first have time to pay rent and the trailer and also our $190 truck insurance which got rejected from my account 3 days ago, which was another $48 NSF fee. oh and something else i’m so stressed about is CIBC is going to put me into collections on December 28 if I don’t pay $1000, $700 of which is purely their fees. I have a $300 overdraft which they said i have to cover by then and the $700 is literally their $48 fees added up over the past 3 months. I got a text from them today saying my account is over and it’s because an amnesty international $11 monthly donation came out and obvi there’s no money in there, so that’s another $48 they charged. they’ve already given me a month to pay it and don’t want to wait any longer :(

I owe everyone in my family money, my sister $1650, my mom $700 and my brother also lent me $700. none of my siblings have money either and my mom definitely doesn’t so I hate that i had to borrow that much, and it’s literally been months. thankfully they’re so patient but i can’t wait to not owe them that

omg and i can’t even think about the amount of money shawn’s grandma has lent us. she’s genuinely the only reason we haven’t been completely homeless. but it’s a lot. like i don’t even want to say the number on here. she let us use it from her line of credit over the years and we’ve been slowly paying her back, but she lets us go months at a time without making a payment which i honestly hate doing, but have no choice. i’ve felt a lot of shame and guilt about this, but I also know that she genuinely would rather help us than see us suffer.

so i’m gonna talk about a big reason I’m broke this month especially - saving a pig named buster. his rescue cost me $1850 out of pocket that I didn’t have. but otherwise he was going to be killed in 2 days, he was my baby and I loved him so I had to do it. I somehow made $1350 that went towards it but I’m still owing $500, which I just asked for an extension for today until the new year. i’m not really supposed to talk about it but everything I’ve ever posted here has stayed here, so that cost was literally just from me buying the pig off the farmer. myself along with everyone else ive talked to is disgusted that he charged that much, but he wasnt budging and if that’s what it was going to take, of course I’m going to do it. I wouldn’t think twice about doing it for my dogs and Buster was smarter and more affectionate than them. i love him and I’m so happy he was saved. a non-profit organization transported him to a sanctuary and it was my biggest wish come true and the happiest moment I’ve had all year. my eyes are literally tearing up haha i love him so much. i could write a whole post about his neglect but basically he hasn’t had fresh water in weeks, he was only being fed handfuls of mixed nuts, he was constantly dirty in a muddy enclosure with an electric fence that he was always getting shocked on. he never got true love or affection except for when I gave him it. i posted an instagram story about him and asked people to message me and that i needed help, 2 people donated $111 and $120 each, and 2 other people donated $15 and $12. Someone also e-transferred me $20. These 4 donations equaled almost $300 ($277) and I was so grateful for those people wanting to help me help buster. if anyone else wants to help me with the cost of his rescue i still do need help and would appreciate it so much. this feels really weird and vulnerable for me to do and i’m sorry if anyone is annoyed by this post, I just genuinely am struggling and figured if someone does have extra and wants to help, there isn’t harm in that. but i do feel guilty for asking because i know there are so many other people struggling out there that need even more help than i do :(

i haven’t talked about it publically but i guess I will now, this farmer that I bought buster off of is the owner of the organic vegetable farm i was living and working at this past spring and summer. we worked really hard all summer to be able to stay there and park for free in the winter, but this past fall he told us no one was allowed to stay at the farm anymore, including us, so we had to find a new place to bring our 14ft trailer in to live. so that was an unexpected bummer and if we had known we wouldn’t be allowed staying there anymore (despite doing the labour of $1200 a month for free harvesting organic kale, for an off-grid spot he told us was worth $350 a month to park) we wouldn’t have driven 8 hours with the trailer and we would have stayed in the snow in northern BC and sucked it up and lived on the land we got the opportunity to rent this fall. Donna, the woman who is renting the land to us has been the biggest blessing in my life this year. I love her so much. Basically, she’s letting us live on 170 acres for $600 a month. letting us do whatever we want on the land (building a cabin, setting up rainwater catchment systems, having a solar passive greenhouse and a huge garden) LIKE WHAT. we could even open a farm sanctuary if we had money, i wanted to so bad but obviously that dream didn’t even come close to being reality. opportunities like this literally don’t exist in canada, especially not in BC. i cant even process my gratitude, i cry everytime i think about it. when we go back in the spring it’s going to be the beginning of the rest of our life :) i want to rescue so many senior dogs. everything we’ve always wanted to do we’ll be able to do, assuming we have money haha. but i want to have an organic farm and grow veggies to donate to families in need, especially since we live on stolen indiginious land and I see how the goverment actively restricts their access to fresh healthy produce. but anyways by then it was too dangerous to drive 8 hours back hauling a trailer in the snow and it was just easier to stay in the okanagan until the spring. i know the farmer probably doesn’t realize this and he’s also probably struggling financially but not being able to stay at the farm for the winter months we worked for, and buying buster for that price is a big reason I’m in the financial stress I am now so I figured i’d talk about it.

anyways. i think this is long enough and i think anyone reading this gets the point, i’m drowning in debt, my small business is almost costing me more to run and i’m not making nearly enough profit to live, the past few months ive been living off grid (not by choice) and just focused literally on surviving and not freezing and getting water etc and not having service or internet has affected me negatively. there’s internet now in the suite I’m in, it works really good in the morning and not as well at night, like for example tumblr doesn’t work past 5 pm for me to post photos. but ive been in a bad sleep schedule since i got here that i need to change. im sick and i need to heal myself. tomorrow i’ll set my alarm for 7:30. hopefully i make some money today. i got a social media managing job and it will end up being $1000 a month once i do the 3+ hours a day of work which im already feeling like i barely have time for my own basic life tasks. but i can do this.

if anyone reading this wants to help me out a bit, my paypal email is emilymiddin@hotmail.com or http://www.paypal.com/paypalme/veganveins

and my e-transfer email is emilymiddin@icloud.com i have auto deposit so you won’t have to ask a question :)

this is my first time in 7 years i’ve made a post like this or asked for help. i won’t do it again but figured i have nothing to lose. if you read up to here i love you a lot and thank you so much for being here <3

[excatholicatheistace]

My Cult Story Part IV: A Spirit of Sensitivity

I'm sharing my experience and trauma from when I was in a Catholic Charismatic Cult. If you haven't read Parts I-III you can find them on my page!

TW: Spiritual Abuse, Religious Trauma

I didn't like Br. David not being on campus anymore, despite the fact that we had a bizarre relationship. There were moments of kindness and mentorship that felt deep and personal, and moments that were uncomfortable because he was so much harder on me than the others. He loved Daisy and Nathan and constantly praised them for their holiness, intelligence, and openness. He didn't really praise me.

I remember one awkward time in particular during my Freshman year. We had all gone to Mass together. After receiving the Eucharist I sang with the rest of the congregation. I thought the song was beautiful and I love to sing. So, I let myself enjoy the moment.

We went to the cafeteria after Mass and were joined by some friends of ours that weren't a part of the group. In front of everyone at dinner Br. David turned to me and said, "You shouldn't sing after receiving the Eucharist. You broke the Anointing. You should know better. We are always silent after receiving the Eucharist. Always."

"Breaking the Anointing" is a phrase used to describe a moment where someone does something against the Holy Spirit's guidance and it ruins the anointing for everyone in the room (making everyone have to pray for it again).

I could feel my face turn red with shame as he asked me to silently pray A Prayer to Take Authority. I bowed my head down in front of everyone and prayed while trying to fight back tears.

.

.

My sophomore year was miserable and lonely for many reasons.

Daisy, my best friend and biggest support, left school.

My new roommate didn't like me. I know a lot of people say things like that, but she didn't like me so much that she asked the administration to move me out of our room and refused to be in the same room as me for any amount of time.

It's a ridiculous story: I was 19, almost 3000 miles away from home, my best friend was no longer at school, religion had become toxic in my life, and I was struggling because I was in love with Nathan, but he wanted to be a priest (we were friends on and off depending on how much we could handle it emotionally and it was a lot of work. The feeling of rejection in those moments when he said he couldn't handle being friends anymore was intense).

One day I was crying. I have ADHD and sometimes get emotionally dysregulated (and that time of my life was the peak of it), but there was something comforting about laying on the ground for me and I would do it on occasion when I felt like my life was out of control. I liked the cool floor against my back and the feeling of my hair being sprawled out under my head. I know it sounds strange, but it was a grounding thing for me.

(Funny story... I hadn't laid on the floor in a long time, but my toddler lays on the floor in a heap of emotion on a regular basis. The other day I decided to lay next to her.... I have to say, it is still quite nice, lol).

That day, in our dorm room, I decided to lay on the floor to help me process my feelings. My roommate, Hannah*, walked in with me like this. I know it must have looked bizarre to see a girl laying on the floor with tears streaming across her face, but her reaction was also over the top. She panicked and told me to go straight to the adoration chapel (Catholics have chapels where you can pray in front of the Eucharist). She wouldn't let me respond, she just kept telling me to leave.

"This is something demonic. I am contacting a priest," she told me as I walked out of the room in confusion.

A priest eventually showed up and talked with me for awhile, determined I was just sad and not possessed, and left. But, my roommate said she could no longer be in the same room with me. She slept somewhere else until the administration moved me.

They ended up moving me to an isolated room in the far corner of a building that didn't house many students. It was an old motel that was now being used as student housing. They usually only put older students or Grad students down there. The entire campus and the dormitories were on top of a rather large and steep hill, and this building was at the bottom.

Each room had it's own bathroom, which was nice, and I didn't have a roommate. I really loved that part. I could sing, dance, cry, lay on the floor... do whatever, and no one would think I was demonic.

But, it was also lonely.

.

I prayed for The Anointing with the group in a classroom every morning and then on Saturdays they had prayer meetings.

Steve and Joe really wanted to have a healing ministry on campus. They were enamored with evangelical faith healers. They would watch videos of Kathryn Kuhlman and Benny Hinn (we even went down to Tennessee to see Benny Hinn at one point) and act star struck. They showed everyone who would watch.

They invited as many people as possible to the Saturday night meetings because they wanted to "bless" as many people as possible. They would choose 5 or 6 people to pray over others. I asked if I could also pray with people and they refused.

"You just aren't gifted. We need people who are gifted."

I didn't want to let it go. I wanted, not a Benny Hinn style healing ministry (which made me feel uncomfortable), I wanted to love people through prayer and for them to find peace and emotional healing. So, I didn't give up. I kept asking if I could pray over others and they kept telling me no.

I called Br. David, who told me, while it seems harsh, they are right.

"You have to trust them. They are anointed for this ministry. God chose them. You just aren't gifted at this time. Just go and receive the blessings. Just receive."

I always hated how he said that. He used this odd, buttery tone every time he told me to "just receive." The same one he used to tell me how I'm "so blessed."

One day, a friend of mine was crying and she asked for prayer. It wasn't at one of the meetings, we were just hanging out together in a chapel and she saw us and asked if we would pray with her. The men pulled their holy oil out and began to prepare for their usual ritual. I quickly pulled Steve aside and asked him if I could pray with them. Not by myself, I just wanted to be there for her. She was my friend and they didn't know her well, so it made sense to me.

"You just aren't gifted. You can pray for us over there. That's where you belong" he pointed to a quiet spot across the way, far from everyone else.

I began to tear up. When will I be good enough? Why am I not good enough to pray when I've been here from the beginning? Isn't it just prayer, technically anyone should be good enough, right?

"Don't cry. Please don't. Just go pray over there."

He left and I couldn't help it, I cried.

.

.

A few hours later I got a call from Br. David who told me that he heard about what happened. I started crying again, partially out of anger and partially out of embarrassment.

"You don't pray A Prayer To Take Authority enough. You have a spirit of sensitivity attached to you. I can hear it in your voice. You need deliverance from this. I've always known you are sensitive and this is why. You won't be able to receive gifts until you are delivered from this spirit. Seek out Steve and Joe. They can deliver you. You need healing. Trust me. We are anointed for this."

(To be continued)

[hollabackholmes]

THINGS IN ENDGAME (SPOILERS!!!)

-Jesus Christ that first scene with Clint punched me in the throat

-how aggressive nebula was playing games with tony

- The way nebula helped tony up into his seat :,)

- “only a little bit sadistic”

- the cinematography in the moment where Tony lays down and the galaxy is behind him my god

- “I lost the kid” STOP IT RIGHT NOW

- rocket?? Or Build a bear???

- did rdj lose weight for that first section of the film or am I just tripping?

-anyone else find it funny that thanos suddenly became a cook with a nice little home and garden????

- the rest of this list will definitely be all over the place because I can’t remember the order of things happening #soz

-I really liked how they included that LGBTQ+ relationship in that support group that Steve was in.

-Steve saying something really sweet (can’t remember the exact words but it was something along the lines of ‘you took the jump not knowing how far you’d fall’??? Or something??? Sorry I’m awful)

-Clint really does own my ass

-That scene where he was in Tokyo holy shit I would die for him

-“don’t give me hope” “I’m sorry I couldn’t give it to you sooner”

-Natasha crying after cutting a peanut butter sandwich is a MOOD

-NATASHA DOESNT GIVE UP STEVE OFCOURSE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE

- !!make that rat president 2020!!

-Scott is a cutie until you realise how much those past five years (hours for him) must’ve screwed with his mind.

-The way he searches the plaques 😥😥😥😥

- Time machine jokes

-Back to the future jokes

-Scott rushing to eat Nats sandwich

-CLINT LEANING AGAINST THE DOOR, FUCK ME WITH A RAKE

-HIS TATTOOS. I WANT THAT SHOT TO BE TATTOOED ON MY FACE

- Bruce the celeb

-“SAY GREEN! GREEN! Did you get that?” MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE HIM

-Scott feeling embarrassed that the kids don’t know who he is

- “look he’s even shaking his head” SCOTT

-I love this so much

-THOR🤯PLAYS🤯FORTNITE🤯

-ngl I’m Thor. I love beer. But shit...that belly.

-props to the prosthetics team for making that body suit look so realistic

-The way he walks into the avengers headquarters with his sunglasses on hahahaha

-HULK EATING BEN AND JERRIES IS ALSO A MOOD

-Scott being the test run for the whole time travelling stuff was such a good scene

-and then when Scott’s taco gets blown away:( but then Bruce gives him another one :,)

-“is he asleep?” “No, he’s dead” HAHA

-That scene with them all walking together big oof vibe

-Oh I forgot to say how amazing both Carols and Natasha’s hair is like damn ladies

-SEEING THE FIRST AVENGERS ASSEMBLE SEQUENCE OH MY GOD I SOBBED

-hulk being embarrassed

-hulk trying to get angry

-nebula and Rhodes watching Quill dance

-“this is the part where blades come out with skeletons on the end”

-nebula sacrificing her hand to get the stone :,) character development

-Thanos has a small dick for hurting nebula in both versions of her

-Felt weird seeing Gamora from before she became good??

-Bruce and the ancient one talking, I just really like that whole dynamic

-Tony as the security guard omfg

-LOKI BABY

-HAIL FUCKING HYDRA BABY

-STEVE VS STEVE BABYYYYY

-AMERICAS ASS BABYYYYYYYYY 😏😏😏

-Steve And tony going back in time again

-Tony and his dad. So sweet. Him talking about Morgan with him

-OH MY GODNI MISSED OUT A POINT ABOUT MORGAN

-SO BASICALLY IM IN LOVE WITH DAD!TONY AND I LOOOOVEEE YOUUUU 3000 IS THE CUTEST SHIT IVE EVER HEARD

-Steve seeing Peggy :((

-I’m here for the whole ‘Judging-Tony’s-Beard’ thing

-Clint and Natasha.... I don’t wanna talk about this yet :(

-Thor and his mums interaction. Cute. The whole thing about being a failure and feeling like you need to be more is super super relatable idk I just felt very much like Thor in that scene

-okay I’m ready to talk about Clint and Natasha now. So basically I think Natasha died a heroes death. She was so ready to sacrifice herself for the greater good. What made it fuckin hurt though was the fact that Clint was ready to die because he didn’t want to see Natasha go through that death. He wanted to protect her. He even says later on ‘it should have been me’. So I think Natasha would be proud, but Clints gonna have to live with the memory of seeing his best friend die without being able to do anything about it.

- That whole thing about making sure her death was worth it uGH

-also Thor’s denial.... yeah. Same here bud.

-Thor begging Tony to let him do this one good thing :( I was sad :( super sad yall

-genuinely thought Bruce was about to die when he put the glove on

-THANOS IS A GIANT TWAT

-HULK ROCKET AND RHODES ALL HELPING EACHOTHER OUT

-Scott being the real hero out here again

-the fight

-holy shit the fight

-StEVE BEING ABLE TO USE THORS HAMMER

-“I knew it!!!”

-That whole sequence of him using the shield and the hammer. My thighs were trembling bitch.

-THEN WHEN YOU HEAR SAM AND THEN THE YELLOW RING AND EVERYONE FUCKING ARRIVES

-PETER MY BABY BOY YOU DID SO GOOD SWOOPING IN THEN

-DOCTOR STRANGE U HOT STUFF

-PEPPER HOLY SHIT

-EVERYTHING HAPPENED SO FAST

-BUCKY

-THE WASP

-VALKYRIE

-EVERYONEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

-OMG WANDA WAS SUCH A BADASS

-THE TRANSFER OF THE GLOVE WAS SO GOOD AND THE WAY PETERS INSTANT KILL THING HAPPENED UGH SO GOOD

-DOCTOR STRANGE CONTROLLING THAT WATER DAMNNN

-THE FUCKING HUG BETWEEN PETER AND TONY DESTROYED ME. I LEGIT SOBBED OUT LOUD.

-“Hey Peter Parker. You got something for me?”

-THE GIRLS LINING UP SENT CHILLS DOWN MY SPINE

-and now for the sad part my dudes

-doctor strange pointing one finger up. Tony knew. He just knew what he had to do.

-“I am iron man” YES YOU ARE.

-Peter sobbing “we won. Mr stark. We won. I’m sorry”

-Pepper coming to comfort Tony oh fuck i cried

-THE TAPE

-“I LOVE YOU 3000” IS WHAT IM GONNA GET TATTOOED ON ME OK

-“proof that Tony Stark has a heart” wow okay. Hit me deep then why don’t u

-the one shot of everyone at the funeral was so beautiful I loved it

-“your dad used to love cheeseburgers.... I’m gonna buy you all the cheeseburgers in the world” oh my god

-the goodbye between Steve and Bucky was perfect. I don’t care what you say. Bucky knew what was going to happen. And he allowed it because he knew Steve would be happy for a very long time.

-HOWEVER I felt like Bucky had so little screen time and the entire history between Steve and him felt so dead throughout the movie compared to how strong it has been over the past 11 years :(

-Sams panic because he thought he wouldn’t see Steve again :(

-Sam being given the shield :D

-Damn the CGI is so good in this film. Like Steve looked old but you could still see it was him. Which sounds dumb but so often, movies make it way too unrealistic to prove someone has aged. This did it just right.

-The ending scene wow. Beautiful.

-THE CREDITS WITH THE ORIGINALS AND THEIR SIGNATURES OOF!!!

-we all waited til the end of the credits just to be hit in the heart with the sound of Tony building his iron man suit.

-well thanks for going through this list :))

[kwanfairy]

check in tag ✅

i was tagged by @choi-hae - much obliged as always my love (ɔˆз(ˆ⌣ˆc)

1. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR URL? my url usually changes with my current hyperfixation haha oops i dont remember which video it was but the editors called Byeongkwan a fairy and i was like "yes you are so right" (♡μ_μ)

2. ANY SIDE BLOGS? nope. i only have this clusterfuck of a mess lmao i do keep all my prev url's tho cause im a sentimental bitch

3. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ON TUMBLR? for almost 10 years (・_・) good lord

4. DO YOU HAVE A QUEUE TAG? i tried queueing stuff years ago for a short time so i for sure had one but i dont see the need to use the queue function as i dont post any own content so

5. WHY DID YOU START YOUR BLOG? i was 16/17 when i first got really into MCR and i looked up a bunch of pics and continuously stumbled across tumblr so i thought ya know this lil website seems to cater to my needs and 10yrs and 78 hyperfixations later here we are

6. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR ICON? dsjhajkdhj is there really an explanation needed????????? I MEAN LOOK AT MY LIL MAN PLS (ಥ з ಥ)

7. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR HEADER? because i'm a huge ass simp for the boyfrriends but also mobile didnt let me change it to junhee getting smacked in the face with a balloon (but i will prob try again soon cause its just too good of a moment bless)

8. WHAT'S YOUR POST WITH THE MOST NOTES? like i said im not a content creator but the boyfriends made me do this and this (this one here is the actual post with the most notes but i didnt even credit the source and should prob delete it)

9. HOW MANY MUTUALS DO YOU HAVE? pls i have no idea literally anyone who follows me or who i am following is my beloved regardless if we follow eachother or not

10. HOW MANY FOLLOWERS DO YOU HAVE? i'd prob have 3000 if i wouldnt block all the porn bots i have 400+

11. HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU FOLLOW ...39 💀 im just very picky while complaining about my dash being dry af

12. HAVE YOU EVER MADE A SHITPOST? as i dont talk much on tumblr nothing really comes to mind but im sure ive made 1 or 2 in all those years

13. HOW OFTEN DO YOU USE TUMBLR EACH DAY? i check in a few times throughout the day but become more active before i go to sleep

14. DID YOU HAVE A FIGHT WITH ANOTHER BLOG? WHO WON? lmao no im not one to fight with ppl online. if theres someone i heavily disagree with i either unfollow or block them

15. OPINIONS ON "YOU NEED TO REBLOG THIS" POSTS? i hate the pressuring nature of those posts.. thankfully i am capable of forming my own opinions/stances and advocate them respectfully

16. DO YOU LIKE TAG GAMES? yeeeee!! as mentioned im a very introverted and timid person but i love doing these cause by tagging other ppl i can indirectly tell them that i love them (while learning about them) and by being tagged i too feel seen and appreciated („ಡωಡ„) plus they are fun in general!

17. DO YOU LIKE ASK GAMES? ive never done any but i dont think id like them. i def prefer tag games!

18. WHICH OF YOUR MUTUALS IS TUMBLR FAMOUS? yall are famous to me (ง ื▿ ื)ว ♡ !!

19. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON A MUTUAL? yall are very much loved by me (ง ื▿ ื)ว ♡ !!

20. TAGGING @stitchzmile @minbinlix @emmy-clou @awwfuckno @hotarukanzaki @brightstarinthesky as usual feel free to ignore~