#inventted

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[we-are-all-nobodies18]

Damn right we're gonna get blueberry slushy .

[youngerfrankenstein]

Doofenshmirtz is kind of proof that you can, in fact, make one of the funniest characters out there by throwing shit at the wall.

He’s a supervillain, he’s amicably divorced, he was raised by ocelots, his evil ambitions only stretch as far as taking over the tri-state area, he’s in a romantically-coded/joked about rivalry with a sentient platypus, he’s a good dad, he once lost a fight with a potted plant, he was forced to be a lawn gnome. But most importantly, he never gives up.

[myclericalromance]

i went to a tiny counterserve diner once and accidentally poured sugar instead of salt all over my hashbrowns and was eating them sadly anyways. the waitress took them away and started making me another one and I tried to protest, but she just snorted and said "we're not catholic here". now every time i'm doing something painful out of obligation i think about how that is not repenting, this body is not a catholic establishment, there is no nobility in suffering.

[marlynnofmany]

If that doesn't have potential for some fairytale nonsense, I don't know what does.

[yet-another-clown]

[emphistic]

Even before you two got together, you've always known that Sukuna was a heavyweight when it came to drinking. He was often the designated driver when you would go out with your circle of friends. Hell, he was the one who had to take care of you after having one too many Pornstar Martinis last week. Not that he minded. . .

But, with that being said, Sukuna was still able to get drunk sometimes; it was rare, but still. And when Sukuna gets drunk, he gets drunk. I'm talking absolutely wasted. To the point he doesn't even recognize his own girl is the one trying to cop a feel.

Sukuna scowled, swatting your hand away before it could touch his arm. "Fuck off. 'm not interested, 'kay."

"Babe, are you serious?" You laughed, steadying Sukuna as he almost tripped over himself. "It's me."

"I don't know anyone named Me," Sukuna said the name with confusion evident in his tone. "Now piss off."

When Sukuna awoke the next morning, he immediately told you of all he remembered last night, despite his pounding headache.

"The craziest thing happened to me, y'know."

You smiled expectantly, "Do tell."

"Some girl who was wearing the exact same pair of earrings I bought you came up to me yesterday. And her name? Super weird, never heard of it. It was Me."

"No, I'm pretty sure it was me," you said, pointing to yourself.

"What."

[prokopetz]

The concept of "love languages" as a totalising picture of relationship dynamics may be pseudoscientific bullshit, but I have to credit the idea's proponents for enabling all those jokes of the format "my love language is [something objectively unhinged]". Top form there.

[beggars-opera]

All of these need to get on my desk IMMEDIATELY

[stil-lindigo]

lighthearted.

if this comic resonated with you, please consider donating to this palestinian escape fund (vetted by @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein) as it is less than $7,000 away from it's goal.

i turn 24 today. To celebrate, I made this comic to be a spiritual successor to lead balloon, a comic in which I talked about the darkest period of my life so far.

A lot has changed since my 23rd birthday and this one. My priorities have shifted a lot, in ways that I think are mostly good. But i think the best part about today is that suicide has gone back to being a far away notion. I'm really lucky, and I'm grateful for that.

[bethanydelleman]

I'm really tired of the "woman sad about her arranged marriage" trope, especially if that woman is royalty.

I am sure that many women across time were sad about their arranged marriages, but I'm sure a lot of others were excited, ambivalent, or resigned. Again, especially if you were royalty! I am sure if you were born a princess, you were trained from birth that your whole purpose in life was to marry someone important to solidify the power of the person on the throne. And honestly, it's an important job, if it wasn't, they wouldn't have tried so hard to do it.

That woman isn't just marrying another king or prince, she's going to be an ambassador of her country. She's supposed to be there promoting good relations. She isn't just a woman being sold off, she has a job! Also, if she is marrying the reigning monarch (or the heir), she may well end up running the country if the king is off at war or he dies when the heir is really young. That happened a lot throughout history! (or maybe she marries the third son and helps him find his way to the throne. Good for her)

It just feels like a modern sentiment being projected back. In Romeo and Juliet, when Juliet's mother first brings up marrying her to Paris, Juliet's basically cool with it and says she'll try to like him. She would have known this was going to happen because that is what rich women do, they marry into another family so their two families can be buddies. What else would she even be expecting?

It wouldn't bother me so much except that it's all we see! Give me a story about a woman who is like, "Cool, I shall give it my all!" Or she's like rolling up her sleeves and planning how she's going to get the court on her side and rule France, power behind the throne style (these women are mostly portrayed as villains, but who is to say the king would do a better job?). And also, have a little faith in women's fathers? You think men in the past didn't occasionally consider the happiness of their daughters? Not even a little bit?

[morningsaidthemoon]

daydreaming..!

Also:

[sapphikatara]

zuko is already a hilarious character but he becomes even funnier if you give him a crush on sokka

[bodega-catto]

I know Gojo was tweaking when they pulled these out