#into a two great tastes that taste great together kinda situation

[seeminglyseph]

I am going a little crazy that despite Lou definitely singing Crawling, they are all referencing the In The End music video for their Linkin Park references in Adventuring Party on the Ravening war.

And it probably says more about me than anything else. But I am looping the In The End video to find the right screen grab to redraw. (I think the song will reflect perfectly on season anyway given the way everything is going. you tried so hard and got so far, but in the end... did it ever really matter?)

[chelseeebe]

just a taste

18+. mdni. smut. kinda perv!eddie x fem!reader. he is a lil freaky in this i'll admit.

a/n: i just love the idea of the citrus six all living together lol idk i think it’s so nice also i have never watched cheers i just googled 1991 american tv shows and picked one at random LMAO ++ for the movie, i thought it’d be a nice lil easter egg for them to watch something with winona in:,)

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

eddie doesn’t know who you are or why you’re coming to visit or why exactly it was him that was being made to vacate his room for the two weeks that you were here. 

“c’mon eddie,” robin pleads, nay, demands, “you sleep on the couch most nights anyway, what’s the difference?” 

“uh, maybe because it’s my room? i don’t want some random girl in there touching my stuff,” almost flabbergasted that she’s even asking. 

“she’s not a random girl,” robin frowns, “she’s my friend and she needs somewhere to stay.” 

“tell her there’s a great hotel in town,” rolling his eyes, trying to leave the conversation before she breaks out the puppy dog eyes. "i'll even give her a ride if you ask nicely," no longer interested in entertaining this conversation.

“i’ll give you fifty bucks,” robin deadpans, using her last resort.

this was bribery of the highest order but eddie's not stupid. fifty bucks is fifty bucks.

“now?” 

she sighs, sliding her wallet from her pocket to reluctantly hand over the bill. she stops just before it touches his palm, “promise you’ll clean your room.” 

eddie goes to grab the paper but robin’s faster, jolting her hand into the air, “and change your sheets.” 

“okay,” he huffs, holding his palm outstretched. 

she graciously places the note down, smiling wickedly as she does so before skipping off back to her own room. 

he can only roll his eyes, turning around to the shit hole that was his room, wondering if fifty dollars was worth having to tackle it. 

-

eddie’s sat on the couch when you arrive, barely looking back as robin begins to fuss, talking loudly about your journey. he doesn’t really care enough to involve himself, besides, elvis presley had just given sam a very important message. 

“eddie,” robin hisses, standing in front of the screen, “don’t be rude, say hello,” her hands firmly on her hips like she was his mother or something. 

he looks up at the looming figure by the couch, hoping his eyes hadn’t given his immediate shock away too much. 

you flash him a sheepish smile back, waggling your fingers in a short wave. 

two weeks on the couch didn’t seem so bad now. 

not if you were sleeping in his bed. 

it’s just a shame that he wouldn’t be in there sharing it. 

“hey,” he stands, hoping to indiscreetly catch his breath, “i’m- uh, i’m eddie,” offering his hand out, though he regrets it as soon as it’s done. 

who shakes hands now? christ. he needed to get a grip, and badly. 

“hey,” you reply, your name dripping from your tongue. though you do shake his hand, not bothering to hide your confusion in the process. 

“eddie very kindly said you could have his room,” a bright, big sarcastic smile on her lips. 

“yeah.. no biggie..” christ, he’s almost panting. “do whatever you want in there.. or you know, just- just make yourself at home.” 

his desperate pleas for the earth to split open and swallow him whole go unanswered. instead, robin shoots him a concerned glare before ushering you away from his weird, longing gaze. 

'pull it together loser' she mouths before disappearing, leaving him to reflect upon how utterly hard he had just fumbled that entire situation. 

-

when everyone’s home from work and you’ve exchanged niceties and greetings with the rest of the house, robin brightly suggests a movie. 

eddie usually hated movie nights in the house. 

jonathan would want to watch some indie cult classic that no one else had ever heard of, steve wanted to watch some dumb comedy that only he’d find funny and then nancy and robin typically opted for the romance genre. 

leaving eddie and argyle with absolutely no choice but to sit in silence as they bickered. 

tonight it’s different, you get to pick. 

and now he’s not saying that whatever you choose will forever change the way he views you but.. well, that’s actually exactly it. 

you land on edward scissorhands. 

not the worst choice you could’ve made, and hey, his mom used to call him edward when he was in real bad trouble. 

in the end, it doesn’t really matter what you had picked because eddie can’t muster up enough energy to actually care about the film. not while your thighs are peeking out from underneath your oversized shirt. he can’t help but wonder what they’d feel like wrapped around his ears. what previous sounds would fall out of your mouth in response.

at some point during the movie, you stand up and walk out of the room to the kitchen but that doesn’t stop him. staring through the open door, marvelling at the way the hem of your shirt lifts, exposing the tiny shorts you had on underneath. 

he’s practically hanging over the back of the couch to get a look, craning his neck at a ninety degree angle just to get a glimpse of your soft, pillowy skin. pinching himself as he tries to resist the urge to just sink his teeth into your inner thigh.

robin jabs her elbow into his ribcage, drawing his eyes back to the room with a grunt and a harsh glare thrown her way. 

“you’ve been staring at her all night,” she whispers angrily into his ear, “stop it, or next time it’s your balls,” a harsh warning he didn’t find entirely necessary. 

you sidle back into the room, drink in hand and eddie can’t help but let his eyes wander over again, short glances that robin hopefully wouldn’t pick up on. 

he can’t help it, some magnetic force swaying his gaze in your direction. he wishes so badly that he could just crawl out of his head and tell you how much he wanted you. 

unfortunately for eddie, he’d instead spend the night dreaming of your ass and all the ways he could have you if he’d only grow a backbone. 

-

living alongside you is an entirely new feat eddie’s not sure he’ll survive. 

it’s torturous. 

testing the limits of how ridiculously horny one man can get without self-imploding. 

so close and yet so far. each night you’d tuck yourself into his bed, doing god knows what in between his sheets all without eddie getting a look in.

of course he’d made up a hundred different scenarios to fall asleep to each night. 

his favourite being the one where he walks into his bedroom to find you mouth open, legs apart, too encapsulated in your pleasure to notice him. only until you do, inviting him closer, between those supple thighs of yours, a forbidden nirvana he’ll never get to know. 

though more often than not he’s cruelly forced back into reality by robin ripping the curtains open at the ass crack of dawn, blaring sunlight on his face as you slip away from the grapples of his dream land. 

now is his opportunity, the house quiet, bar the muffled giggles of you and robin upstairs. he’s safe for now, he thinks, rather foolishly. it’s late, the rest of them asleep or too busy in their own rooms to catch him in the act. 

eddie’s never done anything like this before. it’s disgusting, perverted to the core. 

good grief, this is prosecutable behaviour. 

tiptoeing down the hall to his room, the door open just a crack, enticing him in further. he can still hear you on the floor above, giving him enough confidence to push it open a little more, edging inside with a quick glance back down the hall, just in case. 

gratefully it seemed that you were just as messy as he was, your clothes strewn across the floor. his eyes immediately turning to the peeking of lace from under the pile. glancing one last time at the cracked door, ensuring that absolutely nobody would see him. 

reaching down to gather the fabric in one quick swoop, bunching them in his palm as he lets out a quick sigh of relief. 

oh fuck. they were so soft, fingers spreading to really get a feel. he wasn't even going to take them, he'd just wanted a little look, something to help his overactive imagination get all the important details right.

“what are you doing?” startling him in this precarious position, the lace of your underwear entangled around his fingertips. 

eddie freezes, he can feel the heat rising through his chest, all the way up to the tips of his ears. scarlet red. 

“uh.. i..i-i don’t know..” he hasn’t done anything like this before, he swears. 

your mouth is open in a sort of half-smirk, half-perplexed gawp, closing the door before he could bolt. 

you move around the mess, creeping closer until he can feel you brushing against his side, peering over into his hand. 

“oh wow..” you remark, breath hot and sweet against his cheek, “what were you gonna do with those?” 

eddie feels sick, trying not to projectile vomit across his room. there’s no way you wouldn’t tell robin. fuck. he could hear you now, voice full of disgust, robin laughing at how pathetic he was. 

“n-nothing i swear..” stumbling through his sentence, “i was just..” excuses fail to come to mind, “i was uhm.. looking for something,” the absolute best his flustered mind to muster up. 

“oh really?” reaching around to untangle them from his hand, “you sure about that?” 

there’s no anger to your voice, but he doesn’t dare turn around to look at your face. afraid of what he’ll find. your eyes pitying, sad that he has to root around your dirty laundry to get off. 

“i’m- i’m sure,” though the crack in his voice gives him away. 

you hum, coming around to stand in front of his gormless face, “so you don’t wanna keep these?” holding the evidence up to his face, the hem just barely grazing his cheek. 

eddie’s knees almost buckle, his breath shuddering as any semblance of composure he had left, floats right out the window. 

“here,” reaching forward to tuck the baby blue fabric into the waistband of his sweatpants, your eyes never once leaving his as you do so. “you keep those.. but next time just ask, okay?” 

he nods like an obedient dog, lapping up the scraps you were throwing him. he could stand here all night long, keeping up the weird little power game you’d started. 

“goodnight eddie,” you smile, giving him a gentle nudge, a sign for him to get the fuck out. 

you were the master, he was just the lap dog, eager to please. 

-

at breakfast the next morning, he struggles to even keep his eyes open. having spent an embarrassingly long amount of time on the couch last night shamelessly sniffing the lace you’d gifted him. 

you don’t even acknowledge it, or him for that matter. happily chatting along with nancy about some news article. 

“oh and eddie,” robin begins, flashing him a stern look, “i don’t appreciate finding your fucking panties in between the couch cushions,” 

he chokes on his mouthful, his knife clattering against the table in shock. a multitude of eyes turn to stare at the spectacle he was making. 

“they’re- they’re not mine,” clearing his throat as he clears his name, though he doesn’t dare look in your direction, terrified that he’d absolutely lose his mind if he did. 

“well whoever’s they are, i don’t care, stop leaving them on the couch.. i’m sure our guest doesn’t want to sit amongst dirty underwear,” she bites, calming down now she had gotten her point across. 

if only she knew. 

eddie must’ve fallen asleep with them still attached to his hand, thanking his lucky stars that no one had walked in on him with them pressed to his nose.  

he keeps his head low, focusing on the plate in front of him. nothing had ever been as mortifying as this. not even the time he had slipped off the dinner table in the middle of the cafeteria. 

cutlery scrapes and clinks against the china, uncomfortable silence until argyle clears his throat, “gnarly meal robin, thanks dude,” seemingly settling the tense atmosphere, for now. 

everybody hums in agreement, getting back to their food without another word. but your eyes peek up, meeting his with an indescribable glint. and really, the worst part is that eddie would sit through this horrific situation a hundred more times, just for one more measly sniff at your panties. 

-

eddie can’t take it anymore. 

he’s never been so pent up in his entire life. and he’s tried to hold on until he could move back into his room but he couldn’t last any longer. 

but he’s careful, waiting for everyone to trundle on off to bed, listening carefully for the muted click of the light switch and even then, waiting another hour to be sure. 

the clock glares an alarming 1:04 by the time his belt clinks and his jeans come down, the first of them would be awake in just a few hours, ready to take you on to the airport. 

he wishes it would’ve played out differently, that he wouldn’t be sat here on the last night of your stay alone. but alas, eddie’s never been particularly brave and especially not in regards to hot women. 

your panties wrapped around his right hand as he spits on his left, wrapping around his stiff cock while his fingertips play with the lace in his other hand. 

“ohh fuck,” he hisses, wanting nothing more than to start hollering the house down. 

robin wouldn’t be too pleased if she ever found out what he’d done. and he can’t really afford to get the entire couch dry-cleaned so he really must be careful. 

thinking quick, he shoves his t-shirt into his mouth, muffling the chorus of grunts and groans threatening to spill over into the dark room. the muted light from the tv illuminates his face, breathing loudly through his nose 

he hadn’t heard the door open or the soft sound of your feet padding down the hall, only made aware of your presence when he reopens his eyes, near enough jumping out of his bones. 

how long had you been there watching him shudder and whine?

“fuck,” he exclaims, fist still wrapped tight around his throbbing cock, too aroused to care about it too much. 

“you want some help with that?” 

eddie looks at his dick, then back at you, mouth hung open in a mixture of awe and confusion. 

it’s not very clear but you move closer anyway, sinking to your knees and nestling in between his spread legs. 

“okay?” maintaining eye contact despite how difficult it was, eyes bright and eager. 

he nods, unable to comprehend what was happening. knowing he’d wake up from this twisted dream to some soggy boxers and a whole lotta shame. 

your palm wraps around the base of his cock, shooing his hands away to make room, smiling as your lips wrap around the already leaking tip. were you a psychopath? were you placed on this earth to goad and tease him?

this isn’t real. this isn’t real. the voice repeats around his head though it’s quickly silenced by your tongue swirling circles around the tip of his cock, readjusting his t-shirt to bite down harshly on the fabric. 

eddie’s hands lay useless on his thighs, twitching to intertwine with your hair, still doubting the reality of the situation. this could all be a dream and the second he touches your hair, you’d disappear from in front of his eyes.

the t-shirt falls from his lips, “fuuck,” grunting into the tense air, gritting his teeth so as to not expose your precarious position to the rest of the house. 

the wet sounds of your lips wrapped tight around his cock make his toes curl, his hands find your hair, not without prompting from you. tugging gently at the tendrils as his head starts to spin. 

when your eyes look up to meet his, eddie thinks he might just cum right down your throat then and there. he can see that troublesome glint in your eye, a roaring fire that he so desperately wants to keep stoking. 

your fingers slide up his thigh, finding his neglected balls and with a slight smirk, you grab ahold, gently fondling them as his brain melts out of his ears. 

no one had ever, ever made him feel so good. collectively losing brain cells when you hum on his cock, getting just as much out of this as he was. 

“oh yeah, fuck- shit fuck, i’mcummingi’mcummingi’mcumming,” eddie’s mouth rushes, louder than he ever should’ve been. bright flashes of light fill his peripheral, using your scalp as leverage to keep himself on the couch. 

his hips stutter, thrusting into your mouth with his fingers tight in your hair, yanking harshly in an effort to get your lips off of him before he came everywhere. 

you don’t budge, nails digging into his thigh as his release seeps down your throat, his eyes squeezing shut as his fist instinctively comes up to muffle his mouth, moaning into his clammy palm instead of alerting the entire house. 

eddie’s other hand lets go of his strong hold on your hair, allowing you to get off of his dick, panting happily as you sit up between his knees and with lips glistening with his release, you kiss him. all soft and gentle while his brain fails to compute. 

it should be gross. but eddie just can’t find it in himself to care, because in reality, this was the hottest thing that had ever happened in his measly little life. 

“please let me taste you,” he begs between kisses, grasping desperately at your waist, the fabric of your shirt slipping between his desperate fingers.

you giggle, pulling back to look at him through the dimmed light, “not now,” you hover just above, constantly teasing and unobtainable

“well when?" jutting his bottom lip out in hopes it'd convince you to change your mind.

"when i'm back," letting him down gently. eddie'd count the seconds till you came back if that was what it took to get even a tiny glimpse of your pussy.

“what time do you leave?” he pants, chasing your lips. eddie was nothing if not a chancer, though if it hadn't happened already, there's a miniscule chance of it happening now.

“seven,” whispering back, a hint of annoyance that this build up had only crescendoed now, just as you were about to leave. he'll blame robin for that, poking her nose in and trying to turn him off. it shouldn't have worked. he should've been braver.

“but it’s your turn,” an awful sadness and regret overcoming him. someone better, someone like steve, would've had you pinned to that couch by now, his head between your thighs and your slick dripping down his chin.  

“next time,” only repeating yourself, smiling coyly before you plant one last kiss to his longing lips before standing fully upright and disappearing back off to his room, leaving him reeling with a story nobody else would ever believe.

[1dream-big1]

Jouw liefdesleven is een sticky situation

soo, uh, i wrote my first fanfiction and smut ever. this is explicit rpf, please just scroll away if you're against it.

summary: horny joost jerking off in the shower and thinking about the reader pairing: joost x fem!reader word count: around 1.9k cw: 18+, jerking off, mentions of unprotected sex, oral (m!receiving), handjob, no use of y/n, all lowercase

not proof read, i only used grammarly to check for random mistakes since english is my second language lol.

all these festivals were getting exhausting – not just physically, but also mentally. sure, it was fun, addicting even, to have all these people shouting his name, his lyrics, being completely enamoured by his mere existence. it wasn’t always just positive, sometimes he would have people looking for him, digging up personal things, being disrespectful. it hurt, but unfortunately, that was just a part of being famous. he didn’t want to think about that though. 

he just finished another performance – the energy was great, everything went well, yet he couldn’t shake off this weird feeling. the whole crew decided to go out for a few drinks. that would for sure help with that feeling, right? it was something they used to do way more often, but lately, the hype was too much and it was hard for him to unwind and truly enjoy the rest of the evening when he wasn’t sure if someone was secretly watching him, taking photos, or recording him. this city, however, was quite lowkey. they all went to a place where they had a vip space reserved for them. the music was okay, not his taste, but it didn’t make his ears bleed. not that it mattered in the end, all he wanted was to just get his goddamn beer. maybe the alcohol hitting his bloodstream would help with the feeling which he still wasn’t able to shake off. the conversation was fun, filled with so many inside jokes and stupid memes that they had seen on social media, but the uneasiness still sat deep inside him even after several beers. he didn’t want to drink more, they all had to leave pretty early the next day, and traveling with a bad hangover wasn’t exactly on his to-do list. 

„not to be the party pooper,“ he interrupted the ongoing chat and continued: „i think i’ll leave you here. something’s kinda off, i dunno, think i just need to shower and sleep.“ he got up, grabbing his hoodie that was lying next to him on the couch. „no worries, man, get some rest,“ said one of his friends, they all exchanged goodbyes and with the hoodie over his head he left the bar. it was already around midnight, he could hear some people yelling in the distance but he didn’t really pay any attention to the noise. the cold breeze felt good, „smells like summer,“ he thought to himself as he breathed in the fresh air and smiled. so many crazy memories made during such nights. he stopped under a flickering post lamp, dug into one of his pockets, and took out a pack of cigarettes, all of them almost gone. „shit, i’ll have to buy some tomorrow,“ he muttered under his breath as he was taking one of the cigarettes, putting it between his lips. he lit the cigarette, smoke filling his mouth and then inhaling it all. the walk towards the hotel didn’t take him too long, in just under ten minutes, he was standing in front of his room and unlocking the door. 

the room was spacious, and quite fancy as well, there was some expensive-looking modern art hanging over the king-sized bed. it didn’t matter to him that much though. as long as he got to sleep somewhere. he used to move so much, going from couch to couch, living in different foster families’ houses. nothing felt like home, not even his own house. the only time he actually felt at home was in your embrace. „shit,“ he sighed as he started thinking about you. he really missed the feeling of you two being together in bed, him lying on top of you and you holding him closely, one hand caressing his back while the other one was lightly scratching his scalp. feeling your chest lift with each breath, you kissing him on the top of his head, playing with his hair. such intimate moments that were taken away from him while he was doing all these shows. he sighed again and rubbed his eyes. all he could think about was you, making out with you and touching all the sensitive places that always made you lightly moan into his mouth and lean into his touch.

he pulled off his hoodie and threw it somewhere haphazardly, then removed his shirt and pulled his pants off, kicking both in the same direction as the hoodie. he looked down at his polo ralph lauren boxers and felt himself get excited from all those thoughts about you. all those whimpers, you whispering: „fuck, joost, please don’t stop,“ into his ear as you’re getting close to your climax while he’s thrusting into you, his fingers circling your clit. it was driving him crazy. he reached down and palmed his growing erection. for a second, he contemplated jerking off right on the spot, but he needed a shower anyway – he might as well just get off in the shower. he groaned at the sensation of his hand slowly stroking himself through his underwear. „fuck, schat, i miss you so much,“ he thought and finally walked into the bathroom, where he removed his last piece of clothing. 

he looked at himself in the mirror, his hands slowly roaming over his body, the skin feeling a bit sticky from all the sweat. he liked being gentle with himself like this, sometimes he would just wrap his arms around his body and feel the self-love. in the end, that is the most real love anyone can get in this world. he pinched his nipple and watched his dick twitch – yet again it surprised him how sensitive his nipples were. the thoughts of you kissing his chest, your hands caressing his soft tummy, your lips moving to his nipples and softy licking them, kissing them, gently biting them filled his mind. all this always made him arch his back and whimper your name, desperate pleas to wrap your hand around his hard cock already ready to escape his mouth. his hand continued down his happy trail, the movement was so slow, he was so pent up yet for some reason decided to tease himself like that. maybe because that was something you would always do? always using your fingertips and light touches to build up the tension and make the release even more powerful. „fucking hell,“ he let out a moan as he finally wrapped his hand around himself, stroking his cock a few times. it was so lewd, masturbating right in front of the mirror, watching himself get harder – „shit, what if there are cameras?“  an intrusive thought entered his brain, but he immediately shook his head to get rid of it. „okay, fuck, shower,“ he realised and finally entered the stall. 

he set the shower head to rain and sighed at the sensation. it felt so good, warm water gently falling on his skin and he wished he could share the moment with you. you’d press your body on his, push one of your legs between his, and feel him slowly grind your thigh, his leaking tip touching your stomach with each thrust. then you’d get on your knees and look up while wrapping your lips around the tip, your right hand working on the rest of his cock while the other hand would massage his balls. he was sure he wouldn’t last for a long time, his hand would stroke himself so fast and then come all over your tongue and lips. he knew the taste wasn’t good at all, he was smoking too much, but you still swallowed because his reaction was so worth it plus it made the cleanup so much easier. all these thoughts were too much, he was slowly losing himself in all this. he leaned towards the wall and stroked himself. he looked down, his dick fully erect, he knew he was pretty big, and the size was especially noticeable when your dainty hands were jerking him off instead. he moaned loudly and picked up the pace, already feeling himself getting close to the edge, even though it had been only a few minutes. 

his mind wandered again, this time he imagined pushing you against the shower wall, making you face it, slapping your ass, and positioning himself right at your entrance. he would tease you for a few seconds, to make both of you want it even more, then slowly push his dick inside you, letting you get used to his girth. it wouldn’t take long for him to start thrusting into you hard and fast – he loved taking his time, even being submissive and letting you take the lead, but sometimes, all he wanted was to fuck you senseless. he loved hearing your moans, calling out his name. yeah, fans screaming out: „joost klein!“ was great, but it was nothing compared to you moaning it when he was deep inside of you, his hands on your hips, moving them towards his body with each thrust, and his lips kissing you everywhere he could reach. it was such a dangerous game, fucking you raw with no birth control whatsoever, both of you not ready to bring a child into this world. he wished he could thrust into you deep and come inside, then watch his cum drip onto your pretty thighs. he’d always pull out and come on your body instead. 

„fuck, baby,“ he moaned loudly, his hand moving so fast on his dick that he was scared he’d get a cramp. his head fell back, he shut his eyes tight, and the thought of feeling you coming on his cock and your muscles squeezing him set him over the edge. he felt his dick twitch in his hand, his movements slowed down until he stopped completely, just holding his cock, and watched the cum that had fallen on the shower floor mix with the water. some of it got on his hand, „ugh,“ he muttered under his breath because it would always turn into such a sticky mess when mixed with water. he washed it off, grabbed a bottle of shampoo, and squeezed some of it in his palm. he massaged his scalp and wished you were there with him and helped him finish the shower. the sex was great, but it was these intimate moments, you slowly massaging his body with a loofah and cleaning him up, that made him feel so loved. he finished off the shower, wrapping a towel around his hips, not even bothering to dry off his wet body. he had a better idea on his mind – he quickly entered the bedroom, wincing at the cold air against his skin, and grabbed his phone. he opened up instagram, quickly found your messages, and opened the camera. he took a selfie, making sure you could see his body was all wet and the towel was dangerously low, showing off his trimmed pubes, and added a short caption: „miss you, schatje, so much. i just came so good thinking about you, baby. :-* can’t wait to get back to you. i love you, liefje. <3“ he set the photo to one view only and hit send.

[bigfan-fanfic]

Sweet as Pie (GN!Reader x Clark Kent)

Can we get a fic where Clark is a bumbling mess trying to as reader out on a date? Just him being so sweet and awkward and cute at the same time?

Here's a little secret most people don't know about Clark.

He's a lot more like Clark Kent the mild-mannered reporter than he is Superman the alien superhero.

Sure, he plays up the act a lot.

He's not really that clumsy.

He is a little bit nervous and awkward, but his charm lies in his genuine sweetness and cheer.

He already gets to be a little bit more like normal with you - you don't work at the Daily Planet, and he met you at a coffee shop when there weren't any seats left on a crowded day.

Perry's drink order takes forever. He's very particular.

Lois sees coffee purely as fuel, but she hates the taste so she adds scads of cream and sugar when no one's looking - her order is a tall black coffee.

But you two got to talking, and when you met again, you invited him to sit with you.

So after a few conversations that get cut off by him having to leave, you ask him to hang out sometime when he won't have to go so suddenly.

And that's when he gets a little adorably flustered.

"Oh, I, uh... I'd like that. A lot. Most certainly."

You chuckle. "That so? How sweet?"

He blushes the color of a tomato.

It's not an official date, not really. Just hanging out, getting a bite to eat and visiting a bookstore.

Unbeknownst to you, Clark keeps getting disrupted by villains so he has to keep rescheduling the not-a-date.

But finally the calendars align.

Clark insists on paying. You tilt your head at him but then he just chuckles. "Sorry. My Ma just... taught me that whenever you invite someone out to eat, you should at least offer to pay for their meal."

"Sounds like you were taught well. Did you get to use that rule a lot?"

"Back in Smallville? Nah. I saved up a ton to take Lana Lang out, and I took Billy Crescent out a few times, but other than that, nope."

"Awww, you must have been so cute!"

He chokes a little on the tea he ordered - and smiles. "Careful, you'll flatter me and it'll all go to my head."

You grin back, and conversation resumes - Clark seems a little more comfortable, and your easy chat resumes at its usual pace.

The day goes by wonderfully. Clark and you have a great time at lunch and then at the bookstore.

And when it's time to head home, Clark seems to steel himself...

...only to lose his nerve.

"H-hey."

"Hey." You chuckle back.

"Look, if I misread the situation, I totally understand and all, but... I really enjoyed our time together and I'd love to take you out again."

You open your mouth and he hurriedly interrupts.

"As a date! On a date. In the romantic sense."

You laugh. "Yeah, I kinda figured that part out."

"Oh." he grins. "I suppose I was a little obvious, eh?"

"I saw it comin' from a mile away."

"Well, then, I suppose I'm glad you understand me so well already."

"I look forward to our date, Clark." You wink, before getting in your cab.

Clark simply blinks back at you, stunned by the wink.

Later on, his demeanor will become more comfortable and even flirty, but these first few moments are filled with his adorable flustered expressions and stumbling.

Because deep down, Clark's just a bunny rabbit at heart.

[supermaks]

Someone needs to write the jhonny herbert x max verstappen enemies to lovers fic... I'm sorry

Literally closest I can get to ur ask I swear but ummm heres a deep dive into herb/max and stewarding in general ig dont u be sorry Im the 1 whos gotta beg ur forgiveness for this because nobody cares u definitely wanted none of this and yet. Heres some chronological quotes some opinions and a lil bit of history and idk love u

Bolded segments just mean that I personally find his wording kinda telling or relevant

"What surprised me was when Max had to let Lewis by he moved over on to the sand, off the racing line. (...) He should have forced Lewis to go on the dirt to pass. That’s what I would have done." - JH on a column for Motorsport Magazine in June, 2021

“I think there is an element that Lewis with experience, that he knows when to pull out, but I love Max, I love what he does on the racetrack, I love what he does behind the wheel. These situations are going to happen. Lewis has done it in the past as well. So it is really going to be down to when you pick your moments to say it is not worth the risk. Maybe it was an over-ambitious move but it had to be made. Max was fully committed, perhaps he should have braked or backed out of the throttle but I doubt there was time, and he wanted the pass." - JH post the Monza 2021 crash.

"I think it just shows what Max is willing to do to try and win this World Championship. (...) Although I love Max because of what he does on the race track, I agree with Lewis, he does really push the limits and sometimes he pushes it too much." - JH to Sky in 2021 after Jeddah 2021.

“You’ve got to be selfish, I think, in any sport in many respects to get the best out of yourself, give yourself those race-winning chances and, of course, championships. That’s why he’s a two-time World Champion. Selfishness is something we’ve seen with Fernando Alonso and Michael Schumacher, Ayrton Senna, Alain Prost, the list goes on. So seeing that sort of situation was a bit of a bad taste in your mouth, but you sort of understand it as a sportsman and a Formula 1 driver.” - JH post Brazil 2022 when Max did not let Checo thru despite team orders.

"He’s got the aggressive style that comes with it and there was always a thing, I remember going back to Senna, many people used to gasp when they saw Senna’s helmet in their mirrors and Max has generated a similar thing that when it’s Max behind you, there is sort of a little bit of attention has to be paid for the overtake that you know is going to be coming your way. But that’s part and parcel of what racing is all about. It’s the mind games that come into play at the same time, that’s something he is very, very strong on. (...) I thoroughly enjoy what I see. I was a little bit critical when he kept having his coming togethers with Lewis, for example, and that’s one part of it where I’m like, 'Just do it pure. You’re so, so good at what you do, just do it in a pure, clean way and just show us why you are the best’. He does that, but he has that slightly aggressive style but it actually makes it entertaining as well and he won’t stop doing it, which is great and he shouldn’t stop doing it because I think we all love what he does. - JH to SI in 2023

"I think he's already there as one of the best we've seen. (...) I think with Max to me there is a wow factor. Whatever you think of Max with his elbows out type of racing, that's part of racing to be honest. It's not my style but that really doesn't matter. Because what he actually does with a racing car sometimes is pretty unbelievable. (...) Max will become better than Lewis Hamilton, Lewis was better than Michael Schumacher and Schumacher was better than Senna. It just evolves. - JH in 2023

"It is deliberate which is why I use the word intimidation where he goes to the very limits without getting himself in trouble. But he has always had this in his history. (...) He is a hard racer. He is very, very hard to beat. He intimidates everybody. That intimidation is something that Lewis, Schumacher, and Senna, have always done. I like competition because I think it is a very important part of racing. But I sometimes don’t like it when he gets to the point that you are actually forcing a car off the circuit. That is not what it is all about. It is about placing the car. He does place the car very well, but he just has that tendency to put everyone else in a position which goes beyond the drivers’ unwritten code. That is what we saw in Austria. (...) Will it change his mindset? Probably not. No driver before, like Michael Schumacher, never changed their approach. And I don’t want him to. I find it really exciting. It is just when he gets to that point, he can only blame him. It was very clear to everyone, he would not change his stripes. - JH on Austria 2024 10 sec pen vs Lando

"That showed Max’s rebellious streak. I love that side of him, it is what makes Max, Max, his honest and outspoken character." - JH after giving Max community service for swearing and Max held his own press conference post Singapore 2024

"He’s very worldly. He’s very open to chat about anything and you have a really nice conversation with him. So he was very understanding. He did his outside press conference himself and everything else but that’s good, because that’s part of the character, and the character is something we don’t want to lose. That’s Max. If he was here today, you’d have a bloody good chat with him." - JH post the 20 second penalty in Mexico 2024

Heres an opinion piece from 2021 titled 'Written rules for racing shouldn't exist' — Johnny Herbert. His whole chest honey. Just a taste but pls read the whole thing

Written rules for racing shouldn’t exist, because aggression is part of it and always has been. (...) There’s another word: intimidation. You get drivers who have a persona for being extreme in this regard – but what’s wrong with it? (...) But rules for racing is simply not what it should be about. I know Formula 1 has a driver steward, in this case Derek Warwick who has normally been good at allowing racing to happen, [AN: LMFAOOOO iykyk] and I’ve been the driver steward in the past too. (...) Consistency from corner to corner is also difficult. Remember Turn 3 with Charles and Max in 2019, when Max dived down the inside, took the line and that forced Charles to run wide? That was deemed okay and Max won the race. Very clever from Max. Did he delay steering right a little? Probably. Did he lean on him on the exit? Yes. Good racing. But at Turn 4, it’s a penalty. (...) I feel a reset is required and the drivers have to be involved. I’d get rid of rules for racing and ask drivers if it is acceptable or not. Let them race and sort it out between them. If they go off the track taking the outside line, that was the risk they took. 

Ok I've gone on unhinged rants about herb before I'll try to like take him more seriously here and try to really understand tf his deal is. Lets inspect the initial quotes for a sec.

Theres common elements over the years. Relentless comparisons to other aggressive drivers 'of a different time' ((two in particular)) the word 'intimidation', the acknowledgement of skill, the idealization of 'old school' racing as what Max is able to produce and like a lil bit of an idealization of Max himself. Like . Like me. Like a verstappie. Like 'Max is Max' type of shit we do yk, but whereas somebody like T Krav wud be a lil venomous in tone Herbert is like kicking his feet and giggling but also while holding a sniper rifle aimed directly at Maxs head.

So the whole Max Vershmacher thing. Lets kick that door right open ok. Johnny Herbert was Schumachers teammate and he didnt have a good time. Hes talked about it a lot, how tough it was to always be outpaced, outranked, to feel like he didnt have the team like Michael had the team, like he never got a real shot, even tho he recognizes realistically he wud have lost anyway. ((I'm not saying I believe everything he says, but Im not gonna invalidate how he felt)) So when he compares Max wid Schumacher, hes not just like comparing Max to somebody he raced against, but to a teammate he lost to. Badly. He knows how Michael operates, how Michael drives, those 'mind games', that 'intimidation', those were things he cud not replicate. Where Michael thrived, and continued to thrive wid the people he then took to Ferrari, Herbert failed. Michael created an environment where his 'over-aggression', his 'tactics', his 'selfishness', built him up as 1 of the best of all time, and Max is doing the same, in a completely different formula 1, under a different rule book, in different cars, against a different grid. So while Herbert recognizes Max's craft is ruthless, but intelligent, and precious, hes fed up wid that shit lmfao. No bitch hes HAD it wid some guy wid an weird accent and a temper and a team under his thumb being a cunt on track because he knows how the game is played and he knows how to throw his dice first.

Now Herbert is in a room where he actually has power over him. He can ask Max to battle in a 'pure' way, like he did in that Sports Illustrated interview, as if an actual battle for a world title between 2 machines wid significant pace difference between them can or shud be anything remotely close to 'pure'. Because when people saw Sennas helmet in their mirrors and raced him different that was iconic, the mark of a true racer, real racing, like Herbert said, but wid Max, now, when he defends not just his position, but his title, his name, its profane, its not allowed, and he needs to repent for it. He needs to be punished. Worst part of this to me is that Herbert kinda knows he can do shit like he did in Mexico because Max wont be affected by it. Max wont change. Michael never changed.

A lil bit of history because this is my house. Former drivers only began acting as stewards in 2010. Jean Todt did it as an experiment in response to criticism about 'inconsistency'. 😐😐😐😐 Girl I know just let me remind u they didnt have the halo until 2018. Ok

Until 2010 sometimes u had a whole panel of stewards without any driving experience, and theres plenty u can google about controversial stewarding calls during that time. Herbert was one of the first f1 drivers to act as a steward. So was Prost, and Mansell. Cool. Now lets do a simple exercise. Damon Hill was appointed a steward while Schumi was still driving. Do u think there was anything inconsistent or even perhaps .. controversial about any of those races. Just an example. Ur nodding. We're all nodding

Obvi having actual drivers weight in on decisions regarding motor racing is step forward, wanna make that clear. But these men's contribution to the panel is affected by whatvr the fuck happened during their time as racing drivers, is influenced by their own perception of the racers in question, or the track, or their literal subjective interpretation of the Driving Standard Guidelines. Lets not even get into these Guidelines bro I've called Max an old testament god but literally bar for BAR the bitch is in there

Theres no magical solution for somebody like Herbert and how he behaves when it comes to Max, except maybe holding his hand when hes about to put 20 seconds on dudes head for a 2nd penalty that shud be 5 and being like hey. U just gave him community service for saying a bad word. Have u eaten today, some water, lets go outside. People will point to other stewards and be like but they're biased too, and its like, yuh, thats part of the game. Thats part of F1. All of this shit is bananas AND F1.

Herberts lastest compliment to Max which came attached to a bunch of other damage control was 'worldly'. He has called Max clever, smart, rebellious, exciting, dangerous, intimidating, selfish, and Max. Just Max. 'Max is Max', somebody else said, and that was enough because he understood. That person was Max's teammate once. Maybe Herbert also understands, because of his former teammate. His teammate's name is enough too.

The whole community service thing, this latest penalty, the frankly shocking things he said about how he saw Austria. Maybe this was some form of retaliation for COTA, maybe it was just normal Herbert escalation. He wants Max tamed. He wants Max gentled, mostly because he knows, again, he has said this, multiple times, that its futile to try. U want a herbert/max f1c I'll give u that. A 60 year old mans constant and relentless attempts to stifle a 20 something year old he cant control because it means he gets to c him remain defiant. Herb gets to c him walk into the one room that he controls, and remain uncontrollable. Maybe he will refuse to answer questions and hold his own presser outside, but thats part of his character and the character is something we dont want to lose. Not again.

[yaboirezzy]

Any of you ever find a new thing you're interested in and you want to know and see more of it, only to find out that thing has been dead or gone for a while and the person/people behind it did something awful or got in some bad controversy?

Cause I have and it's with this:

So I was rewatching some old/classic web animations (mostly Eddsworld, SMB Z, and archived newgrounds animations) and I saw this in one of the playlist that has a bunch of those animations. I only watched it because it was next in the queue but after a couple of minutes I was kinda hooked on it and kept on watching, after a while I decided to watch it till the end, and well...I was really interested.

Sure it was REALLY dated with how it looks and feels, plus the characters and the concept or setting are really standard and could use some improvements, but I thought to myself while searching for more stuff about this series: "Eh, it's part of the charm with these old web animations. Also this was just the pilot episode so surely there's more to come, surely it'll get better from here, surely this'll be a good or at least fine series that'll have some charm and laughs with absolutely nothing bad happening to-" yeah that didn't happen and I wished it did instead of what actually happened.

Yeah so going over every unfortunate thing that happened would take like forever (I think based on what other people have said) so I'll just give you a short summary of what happened: The creator (animated james) canceled the series after two short seasons, he was exposed to have some questionable actions and/or interest which of course led to controversy, and he disappeared from the internet (wherever he is I hope he's doing well). Yup it's another "a classic content creator's downfall" situation...

Okay but you might be thinking to yourself: "What about the series itself and it's two short seasons? Is it any good, is it another case of separating the art from the artist, did it at least leave a bittersweet taste behind?" well....no. Yeah I'm very sorry to any C Students fans out there, I understand if you like this series and think it's really great or an underappreciated gem from the past, I get that and I respect it, but C Students is just really meh to me.

"Well what is C Students?" you might ask, well according to the wiki: C Students is animated web series centered upon a group of teenagers and their life and misadventures in Hartlane High School. Yup, that's all it is from the wiki, and it's actually fitting because that's is ALL this series is about, it's literally just another "teen high school - slice of life & comedy" series kinda like the ones you would find on Nickelodeon or Disney Channel back in the 2000s, except this time it's animated...which isn't really giving it much, like aside from the expressions, some of the movements, and a few things here and there you can have this series in live action instead and it would not be any different.

The characters don't improve or change even slightly from their basic one-note roles/stereotypes in the pilot, similarly the misadventures and situations they go on or find themselves in aren't that interesting or different compared to those from any other series in the genre, and the humor is...the same as those from any other series of this kind, not to say that it's all bad but it's definitely got a lot more misses than it does hits as the later episodes go on, hell even the mature jokes have all aged in varying conditions (both generally and based on the controversy). Speaking of which, that's kind of the overall problem I have with C Students: It clearly looks and feels like a comedic slice of life high school series, but it also tries to be serious and act like it has something important to tell, and it's obvious that it doesn't mix together or handled well. Like for example there's the music video "Creative Types" which is great to watch and listen on it's own, but when put alongside the actual episodes it feels out of place and doesn't feel like it's from the same series at all, which it is even if it's not canon to the main series' timeline. So TLDR: It peaked at the pilot and it slowly and sadly went downhill

However the thing that upsets me more than anything else about this series is...It could be good! It could've been better! I wish it could've been better! I wish it could've entertained us with something different or interesting to it's concept or genre in the same way as The Looney Tunes Show does to suburban sitcom, I wish it could've mixed/handled/balanced the more serious and mature stuff better like Smiling Friends, I wish it could've had some nice charm and laughs to it at least.

Which is why I'm planning on making my own take/version of C Students! Yes I know it's another one to add to my pile of "stuff I've planned out but never actually making", but that's the thing with me unfortunately: I'm good at planning or making ideas and not so much on actually making them come to life, I'm just one person and the idea of making a long running thing on your own without any help whatsoever is terrifying, I'm the one with the blueprints and I need other people to actually construct the thing. But anyways yeah, that was my personal thoughts on C Students (If you don't like or disagree with it then feel free to do so as it is MY opinion and you shouldn't feel obliged to agree with it) I'm PROBABLY gonna make my own take on this series sometime soon, hopefully we'll see how that turns out

EDIT: So I found out that the seasons I watched was a fan-continuation of the series not by the OG creator, but all my points still stand as it would've been more or less the same as canon (according to the creator and people in the comments)

[bipanicoverthegravessiblings]

Hey. Found you not so long ago but I’m already lovin it (pa ba ba pa baaaa I’m lovin it)

I was thinking about one plot for a long time. It’s TCOAAL request.

so the reader is male, kid from bad family. Well his only family was mother that abused him for quite awhile. Then, at the age of 15 he killed, dismembered and ate her before running away. (I took this idea from one concept metal album I’ve listened to recently).

Then he met graves siblings and they kinda became friends. it’s Ashley graves x male reader. again I like the stuff you do. Have a good day.☺️

Welcome to the blog dude, hope you enjoy your stay!

And bonding over mutilating and eating your shit mother’s corpse, how romantic <3

TW: Descriptions of bludgeoned corpses and cannibalism

Ashley Graves x Male Reader

Life on the run is….interesting

Trips to the store to buy food is always an anxiety induced endeavor of if the cops or store clerk recognize you as the kid of that one couple who went missing

That poor, poor couple

Such upstanding people of the community, a shame what happened to them

….a shame

You remember the night clearly. The taste of their blood. How it clung to your clothes and skin.

You sat before your parents….or….what was left of them. Things were never meant to go this far. You just- you just wanted to defend yourself! That’s all!

You didn’t expect to not stop after the first swing…

You had run off of the adrenaline of it all, the pure catharsis it gave you to watch your father crumple under the barrel of your metal bat. The way your mother’s face smashed in as you hit her over and over and over again. All the built up hate. All the built up rage coming back in full force.

Though, that feeling was gone. In its place was the reality of your situation. You had killed your parents, their blood on your hands and murder weapon. You couldn’t go to jail, you were just a kid! Nor would anyone believe it was self defense…your folks had always been such “great people”. No one would believe they’d hit their kid.

You knew one thing though, you had to get rid of the bodies. You couldn’t bury them, no- a police dog would dig that up right away. They’d rot if you hid them in the house…

….which left only one option.

You don’t regret killing your parents

You kind of regret eating them, that’s only because you did it shittily

There’s really no good way to prepare a corpse- and there was a lot so you tried them all

Maybe they were just that bitter of people

Or you just couldn’t cook

It’s probably both

But, it’s been 7 years and no one’s found out

The case on your parents went cold

So did yours

So really the only thing making you anxious to leave the motel room was getting caught

You’d been here for a while, the trash starting to pile up

It’s hard to tell if the stench was the shitty motel, or you.

You were going to take it out when- you paused..

Your blood ran cold as you watched through the blinds. A hooded person, face obscured from your view, coming towards your room. You internally said your prayers until….they made their way up the stairs to the room above you.

You let out a long sigh of relief, placing your hand over your heart to make sure it was still beating. It was- at far too fast of a pace though. But it was still beating nonetheless. Though, once the adrenaline rush from that scare passed you by….you realized something.

There were only two people staying in the room above you.

Your anxiety has led to you to be rather…observant- noting the pair of dark haired people when they arrived. They always left the room together, and not once did anyone else show up. And you had seen them rush out earlier….but never come back.

Now, this suspicious looking hooded figure that definitely didn’t have a knife in their hand could easily just be a friend…..but it just didn’t sit right with you.

Your eyes widened, staring out the blinds again as your neighbors made their way to the stairs. If your heart was pounding any faster it would burst. For a moment, you asked yourself-

Are you really going to risk your life for two strangers?

And you didn’t even have time to answer, as you already opened your door before you processed the question.

You had come out of your hobbit hole of a room, scream warnings up the stairs before the pair entered their room- seemingly stopped to discuss something

They blinked down at you with their unamused pink and green eyes, and you felt yourself shrivel under their stare

Green eyes began speaking to you- wanting you to go away and that they’ll handle whoever is in their room but Pink eyes stopped him

She thanked you, asked for your name, and that they’d love to just run away…but their stuff was in their room and they didn’t have the money to responsibly replace it all

But there was three of you, and only one burglar

You just needed a weapon

It hurt to grab your old bat…the one you foolishly kept since that night, but….you did

And you followed them into their room

You kept your footsteps light as you entered the room, it smelled of old furniture and the air was stale- much like your room when you had first arrived.

You looked at your neighbors, Ashley and Andrew they had introduced themselves as. Ashley walking in so casually before she loudly announced to Andrew, “Oh golly gee Andrew! What a great dinner. Let us grad our stuff post-haste and burn off those calories with a walk in the park!”

You and Andrew shared a look of confusion, to which Ashley grimaced at and continued on.

“I will be but a minute! Be ready…” her cherry blossom eyes stared daggers into your own, clearly referring to you.

You gulped, nodding as you readied your bat. Ashley guided you to where to stand, just to the side of the closet where you wouldn’t be obscured. She gave you a final glare as she moved to the other to safely open the door. Your hands shook as the grip tightened on your bat, nodding to let her know you were ready.

It was all a blur, the hooded figure bursting out with their knife in a stabbing motion. Before he could even process what was happening, you brought your bat down to the back of his head hard. He collapsed to the ground, not down- but that same rush from that night came back to you….and the next thing you knew they were mush on the floor.

Ashley and Andrew stared in bewilderment as you fell to your knees, bloodied bat slipping from your hands and you caught your breath. You were a monster. You knew it, and now they knew it.

But that didn’t seem to matter, as you felt a hand gently tilt your chin up to look up. Your fearful eyes staring into Ashley’s surprisingly calming gaze as she spoke,

“What did you say your name was again?…”

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol. 24

Howdy folks!

I love how I said I was never waiting two weeks to do a digest again and then almost immediately did it again. Anyway if you're new here, this is every new (to me) fic I read this week (and last week) and some of my silly little thoughts about them. I have 19 fics for you this week!

As always you can find all of my previous recs here and the original spreadsheet here (now updated with warnings, author summaries, and word counts + I'm checking for broken links).

Recs below the pedro!

Multiples/MMF/MMMF

Euclidean Geometry - Frankie/Jack/Pero one shot by @leslie-lyman

I’d never have thought to put these three together and even if i had, it would have been straight up PWP no feelings. But this is STUNNING. It’s only 1.4k words but there’s such a depth to it. The different dynamics each of the boys and reader brings to the relationship, the way they care for each other AHHH and then the little flash scenes of smut 🥵🥵

The Impaler - Tim Rockford/Max Phillips one shot by @kiwisbell

This is my first Tim Rockford fic EVER and I adored it. I’m a big fan of making Max into a more serious and scary vampire and this was… so fucking hot y’all. (kinda dubcon for Tim bc he seems to be under a bit of a trance). Guys this has like every MMF position you could ever want. DVP… Spitroast… It’s so hot. And reader is so hot. And I’m melting fr.

Joel

Attraction Spell - joel one shot by @jksprincess10

I love a vampire Joel, I really really do. And I love a witchy reader just as much if not more. TW for NonCon bc Joel like… stalks reader and then gets her to basically drug herself with an attraction spell and then he also like.. Is a vampire? So there’s that. I loved this so so much. Joel is hot and scary.

Made by Hand - Joel one shot by @tinycozycomfort

Reader is married and Joel is your lover. He doesn’t really have anything to offer you at all – I mean he can’t give you something that would get you caught and he doesn’t seem to have much to give anyway. But he hand sews you a pair of cuffs made from blue ribbon AHHHHH. This fic is heartbreaking and so beautifully written. Of course the smut is hot, but the peek into Joel’s mind is really what does it for me here. He is so sad. UGHGHGHGHGH. Gimme 800 chapters of this STAT.

Garden of Earthly Delights - Joel one shot by @thesimulationswarm

What’s Gin a slut for? That’s right. Sub!Joel. Reader is a little badass in this and Joel is honestly pathetic and it’s so hot. His general air of violence and like… being a terrifying man are still present, which just makes it better that reader reduces him to a pathetic whimpering mess. Submissive Apple Washing is my favorite tag ever, also. 

Balsam - Joel series by @thesimulationswarm

This one is great if you love characters. The author really takes the time to build up the characters in the town, really situating you in the lives of the people of Jackson. There’s no smut as of yet; this is a slow burn and Nina/Doc (the OC) is really just starting to connect with Joel at this point. I cannot say enough how much I love the worldbuilding in this. I adore the characters and their intricate and detailed relationships and the inner conflicts going on with each of them. This is gorgeous and I’m so excited for the next chapter.

@theywhowriteandknowthings Murder Daddy Kinktober

Neighbor's Gardener's Brother Joel, MDKT Sex Pollen - Joel, MDKT Day 17 - Din

Ok the neighbor’s gardener’s brother Joel is hotter than it has any right to be. He’s filthy, reader is filthy. It’s beautiful. 

The sex pollen fic… man I fucking love sex pollen. And you also get tentacles and mind fuck and all the other delicious monsterfucking things that drive me up a damn wall (dub con obvi…). 

And Day 17 - a bounty who keeps running from Din because she loves to be caught by him. She’s thrilled by the chase so much she…. Oops spoilers… Just read it. It’s being turned into a full series and I cannot wait to read it! 

Din

Good Taste - Din series by @charnelhouse

Pornstar!Din – the crack fic this came from is also great, but I really enjoyed this. Din is so fucking hot and like kind of a dick, which I love very much. I only read the crackfic and the main fic, but there’s a whole list of drabbles that I’m sure I’ll dig into later. 

Ezra

Long Fall into Oblivion - Ezra one shot by @oonajaeadira

As usual, Adira wrote something I love with my whole heart – who’s surprised? Not me. Anyway Ezra is training you to be a prospector and he is absolutely lovely. Reassuring, kind, protective. Adira does non-explicit smut so well she basically invented the concept. 

Shorn - Ezra one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Ezra really likes your body hair, but it is time for you to shave – I love a fucking weird ass fic and I’m gonna go out on a limb and say erotic shaving is weird. I also don’t normally love shaving scenes in fics/books because there can be an element of shaming the natural body? But this fic does the opposite. It celebrates the natural body through the lens of Ezra and is also just unreasonably fucking hot. I love that weird little man with all my heart. 

Dream Within a Dream - Ezra one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Incubus!Ezra – so yes, you die, because that’s what incubuses (incubi?) do. They rock your dream world and then they consume you. But listen… Ezra is ethereal and gorgeous, the dream world is absolutely stunning, the smut is hot, and honestly I’d beg him to eat my heart out too. I can’t say enough about this fic actually. I read it this morning and I’m still reeling. 

Javier Peña

you miss me? - Javi P one shot by @amanitacowboy

You tease Javi while he’s at work and he punishes you for it when he gets home… and it is so deliciously good. Dom!Javi has me in a chokehold (or I wish he did). 

The Raid - Javi P one shot by @toxicanonymity

Some dark!Javi from toxic! Your boyfriend or whatever gets his house raided by the DEA and Javi saves you from getting uhhh used… by his coworkers. But then he takes you for himself. Based loosely on her Raider!Joel series. Obviously non/dub con. Javi is so mean and hot pls. 

Pent Up - Javi P one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Javi hurt his ankle (which Ang did as a dig at me because I did the same) and can’t drive, so he hasn’t been able to get any… release… which leads to him jacking off at his desk after hours. It’s so hot. I was like laughing at him up til he actually touches himself and then I about fell over. What I wouldn’t give to be his lil stress reliever. Javi baby I would live under your desk if you asked me to. 

Frankie

You hired a cleaning lady, Mr. Morales? - Frankie one shot by @beskarandblasters

After the events of TF Frankie is in a bit of a depression (understandable), and his house gets more than a little messy. Santi hires a cleaning service (you) to help him out. Listen… I wish I was as bold as reader. After the sexual tension between you and Frankie gets too much to bear, you show up in a god damn sexy maid outfit to torture him into convince him to finally make a move on you. It’s so hot… reader is a sexy bad ass bitch and Frankie is adorable and so hot. 

snowball kiss - Frankie one shot by @beskarandblasters

The discord found this definition on urban dictionary and Kel ran with it. It’s filthy in the best way. Pussy eating king Frankie learned a new trick and honestly it’s devastating me emotionally that I can’t have him

Dieter

Dress me up and call me pretty - Dieter one shot by @morallyinept

Messy Messy Messy Dieter – my favorite type of Dieter. His drug addiction and overall patheticness are in full force here. He wants to make himself look pretty so he uses your makeup. You come home and make sure he feels loved and beautiful, and also ruin his makeup. Pegging/sub dieter/etc but also… this fic is really fucking sweet. It kind of broke my heart despite also being filthy and depraved and I love that in a Dieter fic. I love how reader is like "we'll try again" like??? How dare you make me cry when I'm reading sub!dieter. Dammit. 

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My most recent work is Starving Season - a twisted little Dave York love as consumption three parter that I plan to add a fourth part to soon.

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Happy Reading!

[deathbxnny]

Hi there! I want to say tysm again for doing my Hsr MC x Genshin Impact MC s/o request. So i was rereading that post for the fourth time i think (i cant help but imagine cute and dorky stuff they would do together whenever i reread your post) and a thought popped up on what would it be like if the traveler are with the others. So can i request hcs of the rest of the Astral Express crew (Himeko, Welt, March, and Dan heng) x s/o like traveler from genshin impact

(Btw TYSM FOR YOUR SONG SUGGESTIONS, i went and play all the songs you suggest and DAMN YOU HAVE GREAT TASTE, i can honestly see myself listening to it on loop. Melanie Martinez hasnt lost her touch but then again there is no way she would, she’s too amazing. Rn im currently listening to the entire album after listening to your suggestions. I still prefer her older albums like Cry baby and k-12 but that may change with me listening to PORTALS, its too early to say but i might update on you about it

Also HI THERE FELLOW MARETU FAN! Its so nice to know there’s someone else who likes their songs as well (none of my friends like their songs T.T) What’s your favourite song from MARETU? Mine is Mind Brand, ITS SO GOOD AND IM PROUD TO SAY I LOVE IT) Hope you have a great day/night btw!

- Flower Anon 🌸

-----♡

A/N: Hello Flower Anon! Thank you so much for your request and I'm glad you liked my song suggestions! I'm also so happy to meet another MARETU fan! My favourite song of theirs is DEFINITELY "Magical doctor"! I listen to it all the time and am obsessed with it haha!<33

Content: Traveler reader, tiny bit of angst if you squint hard enough, confessions, mutual pinning(kinda), friends to lovers, fluff, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not fully proofread))

-----♡

》March 7th

She instantly did her best to become your friend at first, when you arrived on the Astral Express. She was determined to be your guide and show you the ropes, so everyone let her do it, as you also seemed to trust her fairly quickly.

You two became inseparable quite fast and always spent time together on the Express or on missions. She comforted you, whenever you were sad about your twin and promised to help you find them eventually. Surely you could, if you did it together! Yeah... her crush was very obvious for absolutely everyone and it was honestly adorable. But it was alright, as you felt the same.

She's fiercely protective of you on the battlefield and always shields you first out of everyone. She doesn't let you get hurt no matter what, even if you can handle yourself. You two still need to find your twin together after all, so just let her help you.

-----♡

》Dan Heng

He didn't think much of you at first, until he read up more on you and your situation. And after also talking to you, he started sympathising with your situation deep down, which made him warm up to you alot over time.

Once he does, he let's you hang out with him alot in his room, where he tries finding something on your twin in the archives. Is his way of comforting you, as he indirectly promises you that he'll help you find your twin this way. He doesn't notice his growing feelings for you either, so you might have to confess first eventually.

He's very protective of you and always keeps his eyes on you one way or another. He doesn't let anything hurt you and has your back during any battles you may have. You can count on him to keep you safe that's for sure.

-----♡

》Himeko

Himeko was the one to allow you to stay and therefore quickly became the person you relied on the most. You were quite grateful, even if she didn't see it as a big deal. She always comforts you and reassures you that she'll help you find your twin with all the resources she has.

You spend most of your days with her in the Astral Express watching the stars and drinking tea. She's always so interested in everything you talk about and takes time off work you whenever you need it. It was no surprise therefore, when feelings eventually just flourished between you two.

She doesn't let you on missions without her and she rarely does them as is, so you won't ever be in harms way. She wants you to live a comfortable and peaceful life on the Express, free of any stress or worries.

-----♡

》Welt Yang

Welt understood how you felt and therefore offered to help you out with anything you may need. That also included comforting you, when you were devastated about your lost twin. He promised, to help you find them and actually has a high chance of achieving that.

You spend alot of time with him on the Express and missions, as he is very dependable and comforting to you. Any questions you may have are answered by him with ease, you could practically listen to him talk all day and you do, whenever he explains something to you. He'll be painfully aware of his feelings for you, but will only admit them to you, once he knows you feel the same.

You can rely on him during any battle to protect you. It doesn't matter if you can defend yourself or not, he'll keep an eye on you at all times. You definitely don't have to worry about anything, when he's around.

-----♡

A/N: I hope this was okay, Flower Anon! And I'm so sorry for the wait!<33

[carnivorousyandeere]

SFW Alphabet: Penny

CW: boundary-pushing, nonconsensual cuddling and kissing, invasions of privacy, drugging, manipulation, gaslighting, murder, poisoning, bullying, reader death, mistreatment of a corpse?

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

(Same as letter A: Affection in the yandere alphabet): Penny’s very affectionate, and expresses a lot of affection through physical contact. Kisses and hugs, of course, but also simpler gestures like having her hand on your arm when the two of you sit next to each other. She’s also pretty verbal about it, constantly cooing about the aspects of your personality and appearance she finds so endearing. She can be pretty intense and overwhelming about it, but tries to back off and be less intimidating with it if you’re shy/early in a relationship with her.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

(Same as letter L: Love Letter in the yandere alphabet): She’s rather bold, so I can see her just approaching her Darling and offering to hang out sometime with no shyness or apprehension. If her Darling is her neighbor, she loves fostering a positive connection through making food for you, helping each other out with lawn work and stuff, etc. If her Darling is one of Wisteria’s college friends (or even Wisteria’s Darling), she still brings them food but there’s more of a power dynamic to it since she’s fuckin’ rich and kinda inserting herself as their Sugar Momma (so to speak, with lots of literal sugary treats) and they’re… probably not exactly rolling in money as a college student, y’know? Also posits herself as a safe place to go if you need somewhere to spend the night. Really, regardless of the situation, she’s still going to try and spoil her friends a little. Still very physically affectionate (“Yeah, friends kiss and cuddle all the time… wdym it makes you uncomfortable?). From there she pushes the boundaries into romantic territory.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Penny loves cuddling, especially cuddling while laying down. She wants her arms and legs tangled with yours, her head buried in your chest while you talk or simply sleep. If she has to sedate you to cuddle you, she will.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Settling down with you and growing old together is what Penny wants the most! She loves cooking and cleaning, especially getting to make fun recipes like jalapeño poppers and cupcakes. She really adores baking and cake decorating as well. Penny’s great at cleaning, though you probably shouldn’t let her clean your place (which she’ll offer to do as a “favor”), because there’s a good chance she’ll use the opportunity to look through all your stuff to see what secrets you might be hiding, and maybe even place a few bugs… She’s not the best with tech, so they probably wouldn’t even work, but still! It’s the thought that counts, right…?

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Penny’s not letting you break up with her; she’s just gonna drug and kidnap you.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

She wants to get married as soon as possible. After you’ve been dating for a few months, if you don’t seem ready to propose, she starts getting passive-aggressive and pointing out rings she likes, ads for honeymoons, etc. She’s not patient, but she also wants you to be the one to propose rather than the other way around.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Penny can be a little brash and overbearing at times, although she tries not to be. Sometimes the excitement and cute-aggression just overwhelms her and she has to give you a big ol hug and kisses, before she composes herself again. She can also be pretty insensitive with sharing her opinions on things, like your clothes, or your extremely dismal taste in partners (if you’re trying to date anyone but her, that is).

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Penny absolutely adores hugs, and she’ll give them to you all the time whether you want them or not. Her hugs are warm and tight. No matter how big or tall you may be, Penny usually makes a little swaying motion back-and-forth as if she’s hugging a plush to her chest and swinging it with excitement, if that makes sense? If you’re much smaller than she is, she might even be able to pick you up and move you just like that even though she’s not super strong lol.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It really depends on your relationship. Penny wants to avoid being vulnerable by saying it early on, so she waits and gauges your reactions to smaller signals of affection before “accidentally,” letting an “I love you,” out. Unless you make her really, really jealous and she says it during an argument over whoever it is she’s so jealous of.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

(Same as letter J: Jealousy in the yandere alphabet): Penny is naturally very jealous and territorial. Even if you’re starting as “just friends,” she pouts at seeing you with any of your other friends, and starts doing what she can to drive them away without raising any alarm bells on your side. She’d be the kind of girlfriend to take your phone while you’re in the shower and start blocking people she thinks are getting too close to you, if she thinks she can get away with it without you noticing. If she doesn’t think she could get away with it she’ll probably beg and plead for you to block or unfollow them yourself. Penny wants to stay by your side as much as possible. If you insist on going out to work, she’ll spray your clothes with her perfume or leave lipstick on the collars of your shirts to try and mark her territory. If she gets jealous enough, poisons are her go-to. She’d love for that to be her first line of action, but she has enough awareness to be afraid of getting caught and arrested.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Penny likes kissing you all over your face in her bouts of cute-aggression towards you. Her kisses are usually quick, firm pecks, though kisses on the lips can drag out longer, as she gently slots her lips against yours and simply enjoys the warmth between you. Most of Penny’s kisses include both of her hands cupping your cheeks/squeezing your face to hold or pull you in. She likes being kissed on the neck and shoulders– she’s a little ticklish, and the soft feeling of your lips makes her giggle and feel all warm and happy, domestic.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Penny’s good with kids in general (good at playing pretend with them, reading stories to them. Little kids also think her pink hair and colorful clothes are cool), although she might not be the best mom for children of her own (overbearing, sets expectations too high, impatient with them). That doesn’t stop her from wanting kids with you, though.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

There’s a few different ways it could go, depending on your relationship with her. She typically doesn’t want to be seen the way she really is when she wakes up– disheveled, groggy. She wants to keep the illusion of being a morning person and avoid you seeing her without makeup (insecure), so she’ll do her best to wake up before you and put on her makeup. From there, she might make you breakfast, or she might crawl back in bed to pretend to wake up next to you when you do. If she’s more comfortable with you, you might get to see the genuine way she wakes up, all groggy and still-sleepy, and then make breakfast with her.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Penny’s ideal nights with you are spent cuddling on the couch, watching classic horror movies, or reading together.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

She isn’t the most open, as she feels the need to obfuscate her murderous instincts by playing them off as a joke or just sweeping them under the rug entirely. She also hides a whole room in her house, and her interest in deadly plants and poisons. Penny also hides her insecurities (but don’t many of us?). She can be open and honest, enthusiastic, about horror movies, cooking, gardening, and other casual things. There are some things that she’s “open and honest about” that she genuinely believes, but aren’t true (like that she and her little sister Wisteria had a good relationship growing up founded on mutual teasing, when the truth is that she pretty much bullied Wisteria when they were little).

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Penny’s impatient at the best of times. It only gets worse if she feels the need to kidnap you.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

She has conveniently selected memories about who you are and what you want. Everything that aligns with her wishes for your relationship is cemented in her mind, gilded even. Anything that doesn’t align with her fantasy ideals for the two of you is forgotten or blatantly ignored.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Your wedding~! Or if it hasn’t happened yet, it’s something she’s looking forward to immensely.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Penny’s territorial and protective in her own way, even though she doesn’t have the physical strength to fight most opponents she might come across. But, if other people are trying to put you down and be rude to you, she’s lightning-quick to stand up for you and give them a piece of her mind. She would feel very satisfied and smug if you protected her in any way, whether social or physical, and might play up her reactions just to get you to do it more.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Penny puts a good deal of effort into everyday tasks like cooking and cleaning. She tends to like casual dates, but for anniversaries or other special occasions she’ll put a lot of effort into making it special and setting the mood with decorations. Penny’s not the best at gift-giving because she’s more likely to give you things she wants you to have rather than things you’d actually want, if that makes sense.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Penny’s a malicious gossip and a bit of a bully, shameful for any age but especially for a grown adult.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

I wouldn’t call Penny’s feelings about her appearance vain– she’s more insecure than she comes across. The time and money she spends on her makeup says it all, I think; she doesn’t feel comfortable without it, even worrying about what her dear Darling might think if they saw her without it. She does have fun with dying her hair, and picking out clothes though!

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

(Same as letter Q: Quit in the yandere alphabet): In the unlikely event you died in her care, Penny would mummify and keep your body. She would feel as though her heart and soul have been ripped open and eviscerated, but she can’t accept those feelings. She might continue to play house with your corpse, having breakdowns in moments of lucidity. If you escape, she becomes obsessed with finding you and bringing you back. Penny doesn’t have the closest ties with the Bardots, but if needed, she can persuade them to help hunt you down and bring you back.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

She listens to those true-crime podcasts where the hosts are like... jarringly cheerful/cutesy

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

She doesn’t like it when her Darling doesn’t pick up after themself. She’s very particular about how she likes things to be cleaned, so she doesn’t really let you help with cleaning, but she at least expects you to throw away your own trash. She doesn’t want to pick up after you to that extent!

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Penny drools in her sleep, and tosses and turns quite a bit. She also tends to sleep in her makeup even though it can get on the pillows and isn’t good for her skin.

[nickeverdeen]

Hey, can I please have a romantic and platonic Arcane matchup?

I'm a girl (she / her pronouns), and I'm sapphic.

My favorite artist is Ado, and my favorite songs are Readymade, The ballad of Sara Berry, and Dead girl walking.

In my free time I like to draw, sing, play videogames (my favorites are Stardew valley and genshin impact), sew, write, and bake.

In school I'm a biotechnology major, and a chemistry minor, outside of school I go to voice lessons, and aerial silks classes.

I'm rather shy and anxious when it comes to social interactions, but when I trust and get along with someone I open up rather quickly, but I have a hard time actually talking to and trusting people because I was bullied (twice) when I was younger.

I can be quite emotional sometimes.

My favorite shows are Arcane, Catlevania, and Chainsaw man.

My favorite animal is cats, and I have two: a tabby 6 years old cat named Tori, and an orange 1 year old cat named Sunny, and I love them to death.

I can also be kinda stubborn, and I definitely have some anger issues, but I mostly let it out in private.

When it comes to my style I'm definitely more feminine.

I'm 5'0, light skinned, have green eyes, medium length brown curly hair.

My MBTI is infp, and my zodiac sign is a cancer.

I'm kinda awkward when I have to write about myself so I'm sorry if this is a bit scattered.

Have a great day.

Your romantic Arcane match is…

Caitlyn Kiramman

Caitlyn would be incredibly supportive of your artistic talents

Whether you’re drawing, singing, or writing, she’d be there to encourage and admire your work

Caitlyn’s calm and collected demeanor would help soothe your anxiety and make you feel more at ease in social situations

She’d love spending time with you baking or playing video games like Stardew Valley, appreciating the peacefulness of these activities

She’s not a great baker so she’d mainly be a taste chef or passing you things

Caitlyn would understand your past bullying experiences and be patient in building trust, always offering a listening ear and gentle reassurance

Your voice lessons and aerial silks classes would intrigue her, and she’d love to watch your performances, cheering you on with genuine enthusiasm

Caitlyn’s empathetic nature would make her a great shoulder to cry on when you’re feeling emotional, providing comfort and understanding

She’d adore your cats, Tori and Sunny, and often bring them treats and toys

Trust me she’s a cat person

Your biotechnology major and chemistry minor would fascinate her, leading to many deep, intellectually stimulating conversations

Caitlyn would plan elegant dates that match your feminine style, such as a fancy dinner or a night at the opera

She’d help you manage your anger issues with patience and kindness, offering constructive ways to channel your emotions

Your shared love for shows would give you both plenty to discuss and bond over

Caitlyn would encourage your personal growth and self-confidence, helping you become more comfortable and secure in your own skin

Caitlyn’s protective nature would make you feel safe and cherished, knowing she always has your back

She’d appreciate your feminine style and often compliment your appearance, making you feel beautiful and appreciated

And you are

Caitlyn would love both your strength and vulnerability, seeing you as a multifaceted, incredible person

She’d be a patient listener, always ready to hear about your day

Your platonic Arcane match is…

Vi (Violet)

Vi would be fiercely protective of you, making sure no one ever hurts you again like the bullies did

She’d love to join you in active hobbies like aerial silks, appreciating the physical challenge and fun

She’s an amazing gaming buddy

Vi would enjoy playing video games with you, especially ones like Genshin Impact where you can team up and strategize together

She also likes more agressive ones, but respects your wishes about not so agressive ones

She’d be a great listener when you need to vent about your emotions or anger, offering understanding and solidarity

Vi would encourage your creative pursuits, always eager to see your latest drawing or hear your new song

She’d get along great with your cats, often coming over just to spend time with them and you

Although she’s more of a dog person so she wouldn’t get so good along with them like Caitlyn, but she’s trying

Your mutual love for shows like Chainsaw Man would lead to many discussions and bonding moments

Vi would love to see you bake, enjoying the process and, of course, the tasty results

She’d be fascinated by your biotechnology and chemistry knowledge, asking questions and showing genuine interest

She’d give up as soon as she’d realize that she doesn’t understand shit, though

Vi would be a fun and supportive shopping friend, helping you find the best thrift deals and unique pieces

Vi would be your emotional anchor, offering strength and stability when you need it most

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Today’s portion! Some asks about the Floyd/Epel comic from yesterday, about the Jack/Deuce drawing from the day before, and some other stuff~

Anonymous asked:

Epel looking like a straight up gremlin when Floyd enters

Oh and he is one! He’s way too excited to have this type of teamwork with Floyd~

Baiting people and then messing them up together with a huge cool guy? Sounds like the best date ever

Anonymous asked:

Great seven those thighs! 🤤 their bigger than Deuces head and probably mine too! Gods I want to see Deuce whimpering underneath that behemoth of a man, just trapped with those legs and arms trapping Deuce under Jack 🤤 it’d be so fucking hot and Deuce would be wrecked, wouldn’t be able to run for weeks

+

Anonymous asked:

When will you draw Jack railing Deuce we want to see!!!

Hehehehe HEH I’m so happy that drawing made you feel things, Anons lol Honestly, this is exactly why it exists: we saw Deuce’s new card, and then remembered Jack’s card, and then looked at the two of them together with their absolutely gorgeous differences in size and other things and it’s just… way too good not to squish the two together and dream about them making out sloppily and awkwardly lol and of course Deuce needs to get railed by that behemoth of a man (wow that’s an awesome phrase) ASAP

That being said, I don’t know when I’m going to draw it. To be completely honest, the more I get asked to draw something, the less likely I am to do it lol SORRY, but we’ll see. Maybe it’ll happen in a week, maybe it’ll happen in a year… can’t predict these things. I didn’t even tag my previous art with them with a ship tag because we didn’t plan on ever drawing them again... and then this happened lol

Anonymous asked:

what are your exceptions that you mentioned in the post for the whys and hows of bottom and top? i remember you had a hard time placing Malleus and Rollo, but not actual exceptions

There are no exceptions, Anon. I mentioned that exceptions are not completely impossible, but super unlikely: we haven’t had a single one yet, as far as I remember.

I mentioned it just to note that they are possible in theory for extremely specific, special situations. We don’t know what kind of characters and dynamics await us in the future, and a lot of what we love is decided by our gut feeling; so a certain character that technically aligns with the “bottom” type might turn out to be a top due to their unique characteristics and circumstances.

But once again, I mean it in theory. Our whim is more important to us than any type of categorized list, no matter how nuanced it is and how well it represents our tastes and tendencies.

I hope that makes sense.

Anonymous asked:

Say, do you have any headcanons for a scenario where Kalim overblots after the events of chapter four?

Nope, sorry, Anon :( Just like I said in a reply from just the other day: can’t quite picture Kalim overblotting because of the ch4 events. I’m sure there are people who have written about this topic, but I’ll just do it a disservice if I try to force it, at least for now.

Anonymous asked:

Any thoughts Kalim x Epel? (Yes, I am just pulling random ships out of my ass.)

Hmmm~ I don’t think I have any thoughts about them, I don’t remember their interactions aside from the ch5 ones. They would probably have fun together though, once Epel stops feeling shy and kinda awkward around Kalim.

Oh RIGHT!! Epel would absolutely love the magic carpet ride! This is going to be their date lol And his love for speed and the tickling sensation in his stomach would enable Kalim to do some insane tricks and swirls and turns and flips with the carpet, which is SUPER dangerous, but also SUPER fun.

[utilitycaster]

If you don't mind me asking, what are your thoughts on the FDA?

There's been some mixed response to the FDA in Ravening War, particularly with some thinking it's kinda railroad-y and that it takes away the players' agency wrt the PCs involvement in the war

I think it's a fairly common way to get the group together in D&D but I'm waiting for more episodes to fully form an opinion on them

I have not seen this opinion, which is good, because it’s unbelievably fucking stupid. You are correct: this is just…how you tell a D&D story.

I think to properly understand the true depths of idiocy here, we need to understand what “railroading” is and what “player agency” is, so let’s start with “railroading”. The following response is like 2.5 pages in Google Docs (single spaced, font size 11) so it’s below a read more. I’ll note that in the abstract, sure, the concept of a secret society recruiting the party could have been executed in a way that was heavily railroaded and impinges on player agency, but at no point in the two episodes we’ve seen has that been the case with the FDA, which is why this take is so dumb.

Railroading is, imo, a neutral concept; I think it was Matt Colville who said “people seem to like trains, which, by definition, are on rails unless something really bad happened” or something to that effect. That doesn’t mean you can’t criticize railroading in TTRPG actual play (or home games), but, like all criticism that is not about one’s personal taste alone, it requires context. The most neutral way to define railroading is that the DM has pre-determined a certain path that the players cannot ultimately change. It is not the DM offering hooks that the characters will likely be interested in; it is not the DM simply having things happen that the players didn’t control. The whole point of the DM is that they build the world, which moves even when the players aren’t making it happen, the same way that you, an individual human being, exist in a world where things not caused by you and 2-6 other people occur. Is it railroading for the DM to say it’s raining when it wasn’t caused by a player’s Control Weather spell? Is it railroading for bandits to attack you on the road? No - those are just the world existing. And if the rain floods the nearby village and in helping it you learn of a quest, or the bandits steal your sword, and you follow these leads, that is not railroading; that’s called “the DM is making things happen so that a story is possible, and you should thank them and pay for snacks.”

Railroading becomes a problem when the players really don’t have any choices and truly cannot influence the outcome. I have a preference for more open-world/sandbox games, but railroading has its place. Notably, The Ravening War as a series should be pretty on rails. It’s a prequel, so the ending is already set and immutable. It’s also a limited series of six episodes. You cannot make a limited series an open world where the players can fuck around endlessly: you need to have a hook and you need to get the action going quickly, because, again, only six episodes.

Railroading can be used to good effect if the players can still influence elements of the outcome; the actual apogee solstice episode in Critical Role C3, while the build-up did get a little too rigid for my taste, was a great encounter that was pretty heavily on rails. I don’t think that Bells Hells really could have done anything to prevent the ritual fully - they were simply too outclassed. But I think had they not done the sabotage they did, the solstice effects may have been significantly worse and the situation now more dire, and had they perhaps made some different choices or just rolled better, they might have freed Caleb or Beau, or swayed Liliana, and the effects would be lessened and they’d have more allies. They still could make actions that influenced the outcome, even if aspects of the outcome were virtually impossible to change. (The same is true of Calamity - Calamity is happening regardless, but the players’ choices still very much tell the story).

The FDA is not railroading: it is a premise. It is a hook. The players could have turned it down both in the initial summons and the one in last night’s episode. They are not doing this, because everyone at this table is a good and collaborative D&D player aware that this is a limited series and that this is the premise. A lot of edgy losers who suck ass at D&D see the DM dangling an interesting hook and deliberately try to avoid it as some flat attempt at “subversion”, and those people are miserable to play with and even more miserable to watch. There’s nothing wrong with doing the unexpected! But when I think of great unexpected moments in actual play, they’re moments that still move the story forward and are collaborative; they just solve an encounter in a way the DM didn’t foresee. It’s good improv: it’s “yes and HERE’S A WILD TWIST”, not “Nope.”

I should also note that D20 is famously pretty heavily railroaded. The first few seasons were strictly pushed into a very artificial RP/Combat alternating pattern with pre-made battle maps, to the point that when the Bloodkeep crew bonded it required a rapid rework of the final battle because PvP had been assumed, and when the Bad Kids had two deaths in the first episode they were sent back in a frantic deus ex machina and then when they dispatched with too many enemies too quickly they were sent to jail for most of an episode. Which isn’t bad - again, you have to be on rails to an extent in a limited campaign, and these were early episodes when Brennan and his players were still adjusting to D20’s specific format. But to call out the FDA as railroading…I already used the phrase “to call this brain dead generously assumes the person saying it has a brain” today but I have to use it once more because truly, this is standard D&D and standard storytelling, to have a call to a strange event. This is no different than most of the Bad Kids getting detention in the very first episode of Fantasy High. They could have skipped it, but they didn’t.

And why didn’t they? Well, that brings us to player agency. Player agency is an even more fraught term than railroading, and it’s used to mean basically anything. It comes up a lot in why someone’s favorite TTRPG is the best, usually as a meaningless buzzword.

At its core, player agency really just means that the players have an ability to, through actions supported by the gameplay of the system they are using, influence the world in some way (ie, the railroading is not so locked down so as to make their actions entirely irrelevant). It means they are not stuck in a novel narrated by the GM, but rather are part of the collaborative storytelling. That’s it. Anyone who says differently is selling something, and the thing they are selling is probably a playbook for PbtA.

The thing about player agency is that technically, you can do quite a lot, but again, if your goal is to tell a collaborative story, you will probably at least check out DM hooks, even if you reject them, and you will probably at least consider what your other party members are doing and try to stick with them. There are narratives that D&D (or whatever TTRPG you are playing) and the setting your GM has created and any other restrictions you may have simply do not support well; a war where the five players are all openly fighting on different sides (or even on two different sides) is not something that is well-supported in under 18 hours of D&D. There does, for standard D&D practices, need to be some kind of unifying task! And the FDA is it. Players can still decide to pursue their own interests, and have, but they also have the FDA - which they are also, presumably, interested in! It’s not a lack of player agency if the DM says “hey you’re being recruited by a COOL SECRET ORGANIZAITON” and the players say “HELL YEAH COOL SECRET ORGANIZATION”.

I could go on about player agency forever, honestly, and you’re welcome to ask me more, but on some level it feels like the “but player agency!” crowd interprets “people considering the feelings of the other players and wanting to play in the space the GM has created instead of making a supremely self-indulgent OC as their character and acting on pure unadulterated selfishness” as a restriction on player agency. I mean, where does it stop? If the FDA is a limit on player agency by providing a compelling shared goal for five disparate characters with a complex system of alliances and interests, should the players have played characters all unambiguously on the same side so that the FDA wouldn’t be necessary as a device? Wouldn’t that be limiting their agency on the character creation side of things? Hell, why do they have to play characters from Calorum at that point? Obviously this is ridiculous, but this line of thinking is actually bizarrely common; people make D&D PCs with no thought to the setting or party comp all the time. The players absolutely could have said no, and that could have been a great story too - of five people running from this summons and bonding over that! But that still requires the summons. The DM is a player, and yeah, they have a bit more control as the worldbuilder, but also put in far more work and have far less room to fuck around. This is fundamentally how D&D works. It’s okay if you don’t like it and want true freeform improv fantasy, but then you should perhaps not be watching D&D actual play.

So: this is a very typical D&D premise, and a not uncommon low fantasy intrigue premise. The way stories in general start is when a person or group of people experiences a change that leads to some form of conflict, and for D&D specifically it’s typically a group of people experiencing some kind of event that brings them together. The FDA gathering the party is that event for The Ravening War. This is a story of five characters brought together in a secret society. The person who expressed the take that it was railroading or a limitation on player agency, rather than like, how fiction works, is a complete and utter idiot.

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

XH Jungsu hcs pt.1

Summery: just what the title says. something hopefully you find cute, fluffy, and shorter to read approximately: 10 min read

a/n: mark my words next month I WILL do a pt.2 that's more in the hcs I did for jooyeon where its about how y'all probably got together and little scenes from yalls relationship just gotta get this gyu fic out first. please comment or reblog if you liked this!

warnings/info: kissing, some sort of relationship idk what tho never really specified, cuddles, mentions of washing your face (don't forget to wash the grime off today y'all) mentions of him needing reader but noting else of the like is mentioned, talking about changing a light bulb with wet hands (don't ask), a couple misspelled words ill eventually will get to and weed out. pls don't be mean I did most of this with no sleep

~this is simply a piece of fiction. my imagination onto "paper." this is in no way meant to be taken as an actual or real representation of anyone~

ok ok ok there's so many things I don't even know where to start!!

first of all, the softest human being you could ever ask for

I dunno man he just exudes cuddly-ness to me

speaking of cuddles, while I don't think physical touch is one of his love languages, that doesn't mean the first time he gets a taste of you so close to him, he doesn't wanna have you in each others arms for eternity.

Lazy. Morning. Cuddles.

nothing more even needs to be said on that. they're his favorite with you

tangled in the sheets and each others limbs all over the place, his arm about to fall asleep because you're laying on it.... facing each other...

there's not much in life that brings him more indescribable immense joy than to wake up next to you and turn over to scoop you up into his arms.

during times like these, you'd talk, about anything and everything cause it didn't really matter. he would always listen intentively and so would you, calming whatever worries you might have and making you feel like everything would be ok.

cause to be honest, it would be with him around

that brings another thing:

I feel like he's not only the type to listen and provide good advice when he feels like you'd like or need it, but he's also the type to see something going wrong in the moment and try his best to help pull you out of it

like if he can sense someone is making you feel uncomfortable he'll go over there by you, most of the time he doesn't really do much, knowing that you can handle yourself. but at the same time him making his presence known calms and comforts you

don't get me wrong tho, if the time is right he will be saying something to defuse or help that uncomfortable situation

skincare routines together!!!!!

like you cannot convince me that doing that together wouldn’t one, be extremely frequent, and two, is one of the cutest things to do ever

it all started when he gently helped you do it when you were too tired to do so yourself

he knew you’d be mad with yourself if you didn’t get it don’t you slept with an unwashed face

so, being the great guy he is he coaxed you into the bathroom and helped you with it

”lemme help you, sweetie.” He said “I know you’re mostly asleep already”

And there…. Was born a treasure of a tradition.

From then on you’d do it together cause quote “it was kinda fun”

imagine him gently rubbing your cheeks, nose, wherever, with your facial wash! It’d be so cute I can’t—

but most of the time it just consisted of you two doing it next to each other in the bathroom or bedroom mirror

sometimes he’d lean his head on your shoulder and stare up at you, the only thought in his mind how lucky he was to have you

God, just the thought of it— the word itself, even, made his heart swell with joy

Plus he thinks it’s really cute to do that little couple thing together

he boops his nose to yours. I won't be taking any comments

prue fact

honestly he's pretty much your best friend

thinks you're the coolest human alive no matter what you do

like you could be putting your shoes on and he's still mesmerized

he's standing there like "ugh the way you put them on?? I've never seen anything like it"

for real tho, he exudes this aura that makes you feel like you can do anything

and spurs you on to do just that!

cause you can! duh!

here's something I really appreciate about some people that I feel he'd be like:

as someone who is like, your best friend, he wouldn't always act like you're always right

though most of the time you are tbh

but sometimes you need that person telling you that hey, maybe this isn't the best decision and not just supporting you just cause

like a REAL supporter ya know

at least to me, someone who like really actually supports you is someone who will actually try and help if you need it and tries their hardest to make sure you don't get hurt

like "um yeah maybe changing a light bulb with wet hands isn't the best."

idk man most people know not to do that but you catch my drift?

don't get me wrong tho he still worships the ground you walk on

he just cares so much about you that he actually wants to help

also I don't know why this came into my mind but in the words of Alicia keys: he'll "love you when you're weak and love you when you're strong"

because unlike some, he wants to help because he cares, but that's not his only focus.

if you accomplish something, then he'll applaud you, never jealous. just happy you were able to do what you did

if you need help, he won't hesitate to help you

there's no room for any type of wounded masculinity with all the love he has for you in his heart.

I don't know how else to explain it but there you go

just... you're both a voice of reason for each other

I've said this before but you're like the seasoning that makes his life better

actually wait no

not better

the best it possibly can be

and who doesn't want their life to be the best it could?

ugh oh my god his kisses!!!!!

his kisses are the sweetest fr

they can either be the softest and sweetest thing you've ever felt or the could be the hungriest

but no matter what they always will maintain that softer and sweeter than cotton candy feel to them that you can never get tired of

he's got you chasing his lips after he pulls away type shit

he does he same to be honest lmao

no matter if he needs you

or if he just, I dunno, wants to kiss you lol

they're still so soft and somehow still delicate that even feathers would be jealous

holds your face and leans his body into yours when he kisses you and it makes the both of you smile into it

there's a lot of that

just joy that not only can't help but bubble over in how smiley the both of you are together, but also the way you've become around others

~end~

taglist: @itz-yerin

again, if you liked this fic, please leave some love like reblogging and or commenting! when you like something on Tumblr it only bookmarks it for you, not helping with getting the fic around to more people. and while that's not the reason I write, it really makes my day and invigorates me to write more when I see a comment or a reblog :)

2023 copy-write or shutupheathersorryheatherr please do not steal, translate, or copy my work even if you credit me

[kdinjenzen]

If there was an upcoming Metroid game where Samus got a girlfriend and the two had a decent amount of dialogue together, and you we chosen to do a voice for it, would you rather voice Samus or the girlfriend?

To answer immediately and with no hesitation, I'd want to voice Samus.

I know full well by saying this and if it (it won't) ever happened, I would have people chomping at the bit to scream at a trans woman for having the nerve to voice their precious Samus.

But Nintendo made a joke of Samus being trans TWICE in the history of the character so I think a trans woman voicing Samus, even if Samus isn't actually "canonically" trans, would be a great way for everyone to win.

Also I kinda head-canon Samus as ace/aro despite her "Video Game Sexy Girl" status. Not saying she can't have a girlfriend, but it'd mostly be a "I have 270 different partners on 63 different planets because I don't actually have a home for myself besides this ship and occasionally I like a nice cuddle every once in a while and some of them cook really well and others just have good taste in movies" kinda situation.

She's also like... anywhere from Late-30's to Late 50's in my head canon, because I think that makes way more sense.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Which historical romance books would you recommend to someone who would like to get into the genre but doesn't know where to start? So far my preferred genre was fantasy romance but I think I exhausted it completely at this point so I'm looking for something new. I tried Bridgerton but I didn't like, so I would appreciate any other recommendation. Thank you in advance.

Hey! I am happy to offer some recs. Imo, the Bridgerton books are kinda dated and work for a very *specific* reader, so it's not surprising to me that it wouldn't work. We can find something!

Sarah MacLean is a great gateway--I read every single adult historical she had out when I was first getting back into them in the early pandemic days. She typically writes very strong heroines (not always in a "we do battle" way, but always in mind and heart) and heroes who are just.... like, honestly, MESSES. Guys who can kick ass and fuck hard but are actually, deep within their souls, simps. From her backlist, I'd recommend as entry points:

Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake. Her debut, and I recommend it because it's super compulsively readable and very beloved, with good reason. It's the story of a wallflower type who's like, "Jesus Christ, I am so tired of being this person" and sets out to break these nine "rules" and have adventures. She ends up enlisting this known Slut Man to help her (in exchange for helping introduce his long lost sister to society) and naturally, he is soon after her. I will say, MacLean's first series is the most ballroom that she gets? Her tastes are definitely a bit wilder, and they get so from this book. It's funny, it's sexy, it's a romp. My favorite series of hers is the Rules of Scoundrels series, which is about a group of friends who own a gambling club and like getting emotionally destroyed by their lovers. But since you read fantasy romance, I will also suggest...

Wicked and the Wallflower. This is the first in her Bareknuckle Bastards series, which has a very fantastical, fairy tale-like premise. Basically, this guy's wife gave birth to an illegitimate daughter. At the same time, he had three illegitimate sons born together. So--girl not his, sons his. But he claimed the girl was a son upon baptizing her, and decided he'd pick which son was worthy of being his heir in what was essentially an extended CHILD BATTLE ROYALE. Anyway, the books focus on the grown children years later--two of the sons have become rulers of the London Underworld, taking the girl with them. It's wild, it's fun, the stakes are high.

Lisa Kleypas is a classic writer of the genre. She tends to write very emotional books, often focusing on very competent heroes (except that time she didn't and everyone clapped). For her, I always recommend her most famous series--it's a great crowd pleaser.

The Wallflowers. Four friends who are striking out on the marriage mart agree that at all costs, they will help each other find husbands this season. I recommend reading these in order, but the two strongest entries are It Happened One Autumn (book 2, an enemies to lovers situation, he's uptight and she's wild) and Devil in Winter (villainous hero enters into a marriage of convenience with the shy girl, gets absolutely emotionally compromised because she's actually everything), which MUST be read in order for max enjoyment. All the books are good, though, and book 1 is a great start with this kind of indecent proposal angle.

Monica McCarty's Highland Guard series could work for ya! It's a medieval series that centers on this group of knights who do these kind of black ops missions for Robert the Bruce as he's trying to take the Scottish throne. There's a lot of history, battling, Secret Love Shit. The first book is The Chief, which centers on the leader, this cool and stern guy who ends up in an arranged marriage situation with this woman who wants to Know Him Emotionally. These books have tons of adventure.

The Uptown Girls by Joanna Shupe. This series focuses on three sisters of a prominent man in Gilded Age New York, all of whom get into various types of trouble, some of which does involve organized crime. Fun and scandalous~ with a bit of danger. Also, super sexy.

Elizabeth Hoyt's Maiden Lane series is a great one that takes place in Georgian England. Lots of working class characters, walking on the wild side, danger. I'd recommend starting with book 3 (Scandalous Desires) as a starter, as it centers on a river pirate who basically takes this widow woman into his lair~ (he's actually trying to keep her and his daughter, who she's been caring for, safe--but he has ulterior motives, obvi). These books are super hot and often quite daring. Some of my personal favorites.

I think these are some options you can sample and maybe find a match or several with--imo, finding your niche is important. Like, I know Julia Quinn often doesn't work for me because I prefer books that are a bit ... heavier? And definitely with more sex and passion, often with less focus on the marriage mart. With exceptions, clearly!