#internet-wise at least
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Whenever I see something mature I immediately am taken back to my days of growing up on wattpad.
my first reaction is always OH GOD NOT AGAIN but my second reaction is always "wait it could be okay let me look at the plot" bc as I got older I went from sex-repulsed to sex-neutral lol
#Now I even have OPINIONS on particular things#like in wangxian i find it frustrating that no one seems to separate top/bottom dynamics from dom/sub dynamics#heck yeah they switch but that doesn't mean that wwx wouldn't still be tied up#as an example#that sounds incredibly dirty and its existence gives me anxiety but I needed to say it#On the subject of wattpad being my home town#internet-wise at least#I kinda miss my internet parents ngl#absolutely helped me out when i was struggling with stuff like my lack of communication skills regarding my parents and depression#as well as eugh people bc yknow that's just how it goes#RDoglover Borntosingwithdrama and ProfessorRemusLupin are the only names I remember (there was another person)#but jeez was that comment chain long and JEEZ there was quite a bit of chatting on there#Wish I could thank them for being such a great support while I was struggling during my younger years
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#fuecoco#i gotta say i didn't really care for this thing at first. it was one of my least favorite starters right next to grookey when it was first#revealed. and normally i'm a big fan of fire starters. but this guy didn't do it for me#and this design still doesn't‚ but i do appreciate skeledirge. it's very cool‚ i love the fire hat and the día de los muertos design#it really feels like tpc have been going all out on making pokémon that Fit The Region since gen 8#which is pretty cool. i like it. and i definitely think paldea has some very fun vibes. but i dunno if i'd say it's one of my favorite#regions pokémon-wise or layout-wise. it was their first shot at open world‚ and i think it shows#the older regions with more limitations definitely shone more because they worked better in those limitations#paldea just feels like a big open empty sandbox at times. which is fun to explore‚ but doesn't feel too civilized compared to something#like… unova. where there's a city on every fuckin route corner and they're all so full of life and personality#like i could not remember any of the paldea town themes for the life of me. i can remember their names for the most part#but that's basically just because the facilities that get used a lot are spread out between them. for example: i remember medali#specifically because it's where i go to change a pokémon's tera type. i remember mesagoza because it's the main hub city#i remember levincia because of the posters. i remember montenevera because i think the hyper training guy is there#but not because like. i remember driftveil because YAAAAAAAAAAAAA#y'know. even galar had a better region design than paldea#that's not to say i think paldea is BAD. like i'm not a scarlet/violet hater like every other pokémon “fan” on the internet#i've put like 200+ hours into that fuckin game. i still LIKE it. but my heart still holds a soft spot for kalos and the like
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1. want to draw good
2. try to draw good
3. draw bad
4. remember need to stay true to yourself to draw good
5. try draw again
6. still draw bad
7. eating cement at 12am
#im losing my mind and patience#this is the longest plateau ive been in skills wise#like id love to study and improve but even when i do it looks bad and i just kinda immediately give up#i just need motivation ig bcs im over internet points and the joy of making something isn't enough anymore#guys i swear ill go to therapy at least once in my life
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will Robin get his sick ass off the bed and bring his dirty laundry to the laundry room, pretreat it and throw it into the washing machine before 8pm? the jury's still out on this one
#at least i seperated the delicates from the regular pieces#but that already took me just under 2 hours oops#brain is soup doing things is difficult...#like some wise person on the internet once said: difficult difficult lemon difficult
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sometimes I wish we could still actually log off for a while, as if our jobs, our livelihoods, our relationships, a lot of our political reach etc weren't all on the internet
#thoughts#personal#love the internet don't get me wrong (at least for its potential more than its execution)#but I'm a little sick of how dependent I am to it#and I'm not sure it's doing me a lot of favors right now mental health wise#not in a “I wish I could cut off forever!!!!" way but#taking short breaks from time to time#but literally all of my working tools and friends are online so vOv
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??????????
#in an alternate universe#where I didn't get so sick I had to drop out of college for the like. Fourth or fifth time.#I would have finished my digital art & culture bachelors#& gone on to write my masters thesis on brands' use of memes in advertising#& my doctoral dissertation on an examination of various facets of internet meme dialects with a focus on tumblr#Like. Apart from the fact that I was crashing into the ground chronic illness wise#& had raging undiagnosed ADHD & improperly treated depression#I fucking loved the couple of semesters I did in that program#I got to make memes & turn them in as homework guys#Plus examining internet culture is genuinely fascinating to me#& I love learning & up until I finally gave up on uni I really wanted to at least continue to a masters#Alas my body had different plans#Really hope to someday have both my ADHD & brain fog under enough control#to pick digital sociology back up as a hobby#Anyway absolutely fascinating to me that a tumblr meme made in 2012#is so mainstream now that it's being referenced in an ad to sell me cranberry juice
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I enjoyed this show for exactly one thing and they couldn't even wrap any of it up in an even remotely satisfying way. When I tell you that was one of my least favorite star wars things I've watched
#tanner watches ahsoka#i get it i haven't seen rebels but you could at least make a good show#and character biases beside this whole show was bizarrely directed and terribly written dialogue wise. god#this is why i don't talk about star wars on the internet because it sucks so much
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Spent the last 2 days programming a cute lil website for my kinda-sorta-comic projects, just because I feel it could help with inspiration. Which I think it DOES, judging from what's going on in my head rn, but now there are more important things I have to do so it's a bit of a waste to have to let all of this potential-idea energy go 😂 Hopefully it'll work in the future without me first spending 2 days programming stuff tho lol.
#random stuff#mura's voice#feline fabric#however I think I'll go back to where I had Sann in MV originally before I threw her out#it just makes a lot of things easier plot wise#at least in the beginning#idk I need a lot of time building focus for these things#and this website making thing does the job beautifully for some reason#also maybe I can use all of this later at some point#especially with what's happening to the internet it can't hurt to have all of my stuff accessible in one place that's easy to find#website
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To be honest I think I dislike internet culture and online-ness... I always long to send letters... but maybe I'm just on the internet too much. I should try being on tumblr less again. Last time I did that it turned out to be a lot easier than I thought. I really just have to focus on school right now anyways
#bloggy#also the internet has probably traumatized me more than real life has#quantity wise at least??
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alright i'm gonna say a couple of things on the whole. energy of the dash and then i'm gonna continue with my day.
i want you, dear reader, to take a second and think about why you made your blog. why you've gathered your character(s) and decided 'hey, i wanna try writing this guy'. in any capacity, you made this choice because this character MEANS something to you. either you see yourself in them, you thought they would be interesting to explore, or you just like their energy! that is totally great and very normal. to some extent, you're being self indulgent when you open this website.
tumblr roleplaying, at the end of the day, is a hobby. and it should not stress you out, nor should it bum you out. it's okay to find joy in parts of this hobby that are not...writing with other people as well. some folks love making their blog pretty with amazing graphics. some folks love filling novels with metas. some folks love talking about their characters kissing other characters. some folks love engaging w their mutuals ooc -- on the dash or in dms. it is completely valid to like or dislike any part of this. it is not valid to call this behavior 'selfish'. it is also valid to curate your space and find people who enjoy the things that you do!
there is no right or wrong way to do this. if you do not vibe with the way someone runs their blog, it is very easy to soft or hardblock and continue on with your day. ultimately it's not that deep.
#save game; ooc.#tbd#//maybe#//idk the whole.....'you post about your character too much' is so like#//it negates the fact that#//at the end of the day you made this blog for YOURSELF#//and therefore you can run it however you damn well please#//and if that's not someone else's cup of tea then that's fine!#//it's okay to be obsessed with your character#//imo i think that's how you get other people interested#//at least in my experience it is#//i do also believe that to be a good rp partner u have to also appreciate#//ur partner's muse(s) bc this is still collaborative#//but like. i dunno man#//at the end of the day u've only got urself#//just. big picture wise#//and so it's important to make sure ur taking care of YOU#//and not worrying abt strangers on the internet#//alright! back to minecraft i go
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i have bad news and also bad news
also im very sorry for acknowledging Drawn Together in the year of our gourd 2023
*in the writer’s room for the adult swim Pokémon parody cartoon* oh fuck man… maybe like.. pickachu is high
#they named him ling-ling#if that gives you any idea#i only did a quick image search but this was#uh#probably the only image of him i could find that wasnt terrible quality#both pixels wise and content wise#well#least terrible#im so glad this show happened early enough that it couldnt garner an internet following#but also i hate that it existed at all
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ah man
#So! Panicking very much about my life rn. Do NOT know what to do#will probably have to open donations soon. UNFORTUNATELY. feels very terrible to receive money with no return/payment back on it.#But My God My Bills Are Coming Up#well. at least my phone bill. internet wise i think i won't have to worry since. Well Being Evicted!#just hoping i can start working soon 👍
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youtube
songs that vividly remind me of fall semester sophomore year
#ignorance cloud on#god. i rememebr listening to this shit as i sat in the fuckin main lobby of the science building#bc i had my math class in the lecture hall and i had like an hour to kill???? before i had to go in#so instead of walking all the way back to my apartment after my first class i’d just sit in there#funny how i am in contact w lkterally No One from that era. at least internet friend wise#i didn’t meet friendzone people until like june#Youtube
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I know I’m biased because Rise was my first positive experience with TMNT as a franchise, but I really cannot fathom how any TMNT fan who has watched more than the first half of season 1 could call Rise a bad iteration. Like, I can understand it not being someone’s taste if you’re used to the older style, but you HAVE to at least admit they had so much fun mixing up the usual formula and did a pretty good job with it.
They’ve had the same weapons for 40+ years? Switch them up for a little bit as the characters grow into themselves! Give them world-building explained super powers too!
The turtles are usually confined to just NYC and mutant related shenanigans? Throw in a whole hidden underground city with an unknown race that is hiding from human discovery!
Master Splinter’s always wise and responsible with a dark past? What if he was a runaway movie star who spent his life shirking responsibility until it came back to bite him?
Leo’s always the oldest brother and responsible leader? What if he’s a cocky middle child who has to learn responsibility during an alien invasion?
Raph’s always the moody middle child with anger issues? What if he’s the oldest, the main figure of responsibility in their household, and is the one to take the helm of leader for awhile?
April’s usually a boring female side character who only meets the turtles at the beginning of the show? Make her the fun family friend/oldest sister of the family! Let her be crazy and kick people in the shins! Let her be close with Donnie WITHOUT the weird and unnecessary romantic tension! (I am talking specifically about 2012 April.)
Oroku Saki and Karai, the usual heads of the Foot Clan? The Shredder’s a late-game villain whose spirit is trapped in evil mystic armor gifted to Saki by the Krang a thousand years ago, and his daughter turned into a magic sword to keep him trapped in a prison dimension.
Casey Jones? A Foot clan recruit whose identity is only revealed at the end of the series. Oh yeah she also has a time-traveler son by the same name who brings news of the apocalypse.
The Krang weren’t terrifying enough before? Make them capable of the most horrifying body horror you’re allowed to get away with on TV-Y7 rated television.
Baxter Stockman? Make him a 10yo iPad kid who’s bored and decides to make fake ghost stories on the internet for views. (Not my favorite villain, but it’s still a funny and unique take.)
The point is, difference can be good and interesting! Not every aspect of the story needs to be kept the same, sometimes it’s fun to mix things up! And Rise is a good example of that.
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at this point I just categorically have 90,000,000 times more fun on tumblr than the smoldering wreckage of twitter. like, twitter was already becoming kind of a drag for me before the hostile takeover, and now that cohost (hallowed be her name) is shutting down, it's like, well—i guess we doin’ tumbls again!! “it’s obviously the best one”
honestly, while the queer internet may never recover from the sucking wound that was and is tumblr’s NSFW ban—at least not as long as the united states of america continues to fail to take antitrust action against apple, google, and the payment processors collectively serving as the final boss of what’s allowed to be posted where on the internet—i’m starting to feel like tumblr is moving back into position as The Best Site For Artists regardless. my thoughts on this are half-formed, but it’s like this:
every other social media platform is either 1. tiktok, 2. hyper-obscure, or 3. slow-motion self-destructing to a degree way beyond even what tumblr inflicted upon itself in 2018. this is not a new sentiment i don’t think.
i think the fact that tumblr is unable to capture the literal billions of users every other platform is chasing makes it arguably a lot nicer for the users who are here. there is no way for an application to achieve a tiktok-sized install base that isn’t just naked manipulation and skinnerboxing. tumblr’s leadership seems either too incompetent to pull it off or too wise to try, and so we have what is effectively the last microblogging platform on the internet that’s actually still usable for microblogging.
also, a smaller-but-not-too-small audience is more engaged with what they’re seeing. simple as. a thousand notes on tumblr means more than a million views on tiktok and it always will.
of course, i am in fact making a living off of sexually-explicit art right now, and so tumblr cannot be my One Platform. i get away with it because the art is in service of a story hosted off-site, and so i never need to post The Whole Pussy on here; if i was exclusively an illustrator i’d be even less thrilled with the current state of things than i already ain’t. i guess this is just a testament to how truly bad The State Of Things has gotten, though. congratulations, tumblr: you really did win by doing absolutely nothing.
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When it comes to Anne Elliot (and Fanny Price), it saddens me how many people completely disregard the value of prudence. Anne knows her father, she knows which arguments will persuade him, and so she often gives up after a single try:
Here Anne spoke—
“The navy, I think, who have done so much for us, have at least an equal claim with any other set of men, for all the comforts and all the privileges which any home can give. Sailors work hard enough for their comforts, we must all allow.”
“Very true, very true. What Miss Anne says, is very true,” was Mr Shepherd’s rejoinder, and “Oh! certainly,” was his daughter’s; but Sir Walter’s remark was, soon afterwards—
“The profession has its utility, but I should be sorry to see any friend of mine belonging to it.” (he goes on to complain for an entire paragraph about the navy, Ch 6)
And then Anne is silent, she leaves persuasion to Mrs. Clay and Mr. Shepherd.
I think a lot of people see this as her being a doormat because she doesn't defend her positions or persuade her father, and I do think some of why she gives up may be depression, but the main reason she stops is because she knows when to pick her battles. Why waste her breath on an argument that she probably had with her father eight years ago to no avail? She lets it pass with prudence.
But later, when she wants to visit Mrs. Smith instead of waiting on the Dalrymples, she stands firm in her convictions and won't back down. It's not that she cannot defend herself and carry out her will, she just knows when it's worth it. She isn't weak, she's wise. And honestly most people on the internet could learn from her.
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