#internalized misogynoir

[luvmesumus]

[afrofairysblog]

It's so simple, yet apparently, it's hard for some people to get it together oof

society if women were seen as people

[cantstayawaycani]

Going through the spock x uhura tag and seeing the anti-black hatred being spewed towards the beautiful actress portraying Uhura because she has darker skin, more "ethnic" features and short hair is so sickening to me. And it appears to be coming from women of color.

Wow. The colorism is hateful and nasty.

[bohemian-nights]

One of the(many) things that bugs me about this fandom when it comes to Nettles is how even mentioning her relationship with Daemon is considered “reducing” her role to just being that of his "love interest.” This idea is ridiculous to me because it’s promoting the same thing that they accuse Nettles x Daemon shippers of(aka stripping down her characterization).

Yes, Nettles is her own independent character with her own story that ends and begins outside of Daemon, but he is a part of her story.

Her relationship with him is just as important as being an orphan bastard (non-Valyrian) girl from Driftmark, the only dragonrider of Sheepstealer(and probably the last dragonrider for 200 years), or a fire witch to the Burned Men. All those aspects make Nettles Nettles. She is more than one thing and romantic love doesn’t detract from it. It only adds another layer to her characterization.

[fluffypotatey]

Gwen is not only a woman, but a woman that is the obstacles of the main gay ship. No way they would ever treat her well

when will we ever learn 🫠

[mod-doodles]

Makes me sick that rather than sympathize with Francesca. Those foolish and insecure black women really act like we should only uplift darkskin model types or eurocentric light skins/biracial looking black women. To them the only way for black woman to exist in media—because god forbid black women do anything as individuals, no it’s always up to us to represent the entire race—is if we’re extraordinary beauties without reproach. And it’s crazy making because these same people will advocate for the representation for dark skin unambiguous black women on screen and in media but then throw fits when she isn’t ryan destiny or some extraordinarily beautiful model. As if they themselves aren’t regular looking black women! like what happened to representation? Plus they act like being on their ‘best behaviour’ and shitting on themselves and the community is going to get them somewhere with these racists when the reality is that the racists have zero points and are demons from hell who hate everything to do with blackness and want us to feel shame and hatred for our very existence. Being a massive coon isn’t going to get them to like you because in the grand scheme of things they might kill you last but they’ll still kill you is the point. It’s so disgusting because seemingly socially aware black women are part of the ones cooning out and projecting their insecurities on a girl who looks like 90% of black women around the world. They’re pathetic and I can’t believe we went from that whole black girl magic era to this. Normal black girls being bullied worldwide for daring to exist. This whole thing and the fact that it’s gone on so long has really hurt me and I can’t even imagine what the actress is going through. Especially since a good chunk of the racists will never see the show but just want to comment on her looks. Kudos on her for not quitting (side eying her costar because it’s one thing not to say something but another to leave up thousands of racially motivated hate comments against ur costar on your account but it’s not like he defended his own mixed gf so he’s trash anyway) but it’s still so rough. Getting it from all sides especially the ones who look like you is so demoralizing and I know a lot of black women in the industry are standing up for her but still. I would be beside myself.

I believe this is a failing on the natural hair movement because featurism and texturism reigned supreme. Women are talking about natural hair makes you look childish- what!?!

[misespinas]

Recently I’ve begun reading Frantz Fanon and found his theory on gender related to race in Black Skin, White Masks (1952) to be disturbing.

He has two chapters in the book I will focus on, one titled “The Woman of Color and the White Man,” the second “The Man of Color and the White Woman.” It should be noted, he does almost exclusively focus on the relations between the black people of Martinique/Antilles and their French colonizers.

“The Woman of Color and the White Man” is extremely prescriptive and critical of black women for their apparent attraction to white men. His point of reference for this is Mayotte Capécia’s I Am a Martinican Woman (1948). Capécia’s work is rampant with colorism and has been widely criticized for its descriptions of internalized black inferiority.

Fanon would describe that “It is commonplace in Martinique to dream of whitening oneself magically as a way of salvation,” and claims that “a lot of girls from Martinique, students in France, [...] confess in lily-white innocence that they would never marry a black man.” Fanon speaks of black women as though they are children, writing in a patronizing tone, “[black Martinican women] too one day will realize that ‘white men don’t marry black women.’” He writes with a tone which conveys that black women are not capable of being attractive. On top of this, his belief seems to be that black women only have one real job, “to whiten the race.”

Fanon is insecure in his manhood and believes he cannot be a complete man as a white man is capable of.

In “The Man of Color and the White Woman,” the descriptions of the black men are far less judgemental. He writes, “between these white breasts that my wandering hands fondle, white civilization and worthiness become mine.” Even if we focused on less sexual descriptions (there are several within the chapter), Fanon wrote, “By loving me, [a white woman] proves to me that I am worthy of white love. I am loved like a white man.”

It is evident that Fanon views women as tools, but their worth differs depending on their race. He claims this is not unique, later in the chapter explaining that “with Antillean men we learned that their main preoccupation on setting foot in France was to sleep with a white woman. [...] this ritual of initiation into ‘authentic’ manhood.”

Black women have the purpose of procreation according to Fanon, while white women have the purpose of sexual pleasure. A black woman cannot be sexually enjoyed, and a white woman cannot mother his children.

[queerafricans]

This Arab is Queer: My intersectionality was my biggest bully

[thecolorsfucked]

unironically now that i am into season 17 of greys anatomy like ppl are just haters like shonda is doing things

[mcondance]

would i be wrong to say i’m still upset abt yesterday

[andsheoverthinks]

‘female solidarity’

why do this specific group of black-male-obsessed white women have an throbbing hate boner for black women existing? for reference, these are unprovoked comments on a hair video.

you win, Jessica. congrats. white women are more desirable in America. do you want a gold sticker, too?

i just hope it’s worth it. leave black women out of your mess please, othello and desdemona.

[pluralsword]

Before we get into this, we want to note that the focus of discussing who suffers from transmisogyny should still be on trans gals, and that the components of misogyny and racism involved all are bioessentialisms:

The framework for 'everyone is effected by transmisogyny' is not just about misgendering people who aren't trans women and it's unfortunate that its how people understand it. It's about the bioessentialist assumptions, stigma, othering, alienation, ridicule, and hatred that comes with being perceived as a trans woman. When cis women are called trans women for having too many muscles and bullied because of that or having deep voices or having hair or too broad a shape or too fat or flatchested etc etc. Butch lesbians across the gender spectrum get hit hard by this, but femmes can be too if they aren't seen as performing properly. Trans men can also experience this if for some reason bigots perceive them as e.g. effeminate or various transphobic terms we'd rather not say, and proceed to bully them for that rather than for being a trans men. People who are AMAB who are cis men or don't know if they're trans yet can get bullied in the same way, for stepping out of line with performing what is expected of a man due to imperial patriarchic norms. Literally anything, can personally speak to that as a trans xeno gal. Mileage on any of this may vary as a nonbinary person because..

Intersex people can tell you that all or at least nearly forms of transphobia are interchangeable for different trans groups because they get treated differently based on how they are perceived or what the associated biases are for different groups depending on the person perceiving.

I'm sorry that the people who tell you people other transfemmes can experience transmisogny don't know this goes beyond misgendering thosse cases but like, I think they probably meant this. the statement "trans-misogyny effects everyone" is supposed to be a unifying banner also in solidarity to us transfemmes because of the endless iteration of angles to hate us are and how unhinged from reality those get and end up targeting everyone who seems like us. like cis women who aren't seen as woman enough getting bullied for going to women's bathrooms. like Black and Brown cis women who because of racist stereotypes of what beauty and femininity are are not seen as woman enough (so it's also hell for Black and Brown transfemmes). so please understand, when 'transmisogyny effects everyone' is said, its not supposed to be about taking from us (also supposed ontology about gender is shit and essentializing, gender is assemblage its aesthetics both collective and individual), its about recognizing how under attack we are and that that is a basis for policing everyone who seems like us, it is supposed to be about including us.

here's a good definition of how it effects people besides us in a significant portion of the gender expansive community, and you can literally look up the stuff we described re cis women including hate on athletes

A constant thing I run into with the "actually everyone is a victim of transmisogyny" crowd is this vague argument of "what if a tme person is confused for a trans woman" and I'm like. Well that's misgendering. Transphobia likely. Kinda depends the situation, but what exactly happened in the situation that makes it transmisogyny? "They think they're a trans woman" again, that's just misgendering. And it becomes this loop. They can never tell me what specifically in the interaction was transmisogyny. "I get mistaken as a trans woman all the time!" Ok but what are they saying? What are they doing? Misgendering alone isn't transmisogyny. Just being perceived as a trans woman in a scenario doesn't mean transmisogyny is happening. It doesn't overwrite who you are. I used to get mistaken as a trans man on this site pretty often back in the day, am I suddenly not a trans woman? Of course not. So why would such a thing change your interaction with transmisogyny? What are you claiming to experience?

[justalittlesolarpunk]

Happy International Women’s Day. Reminder that this day emerged out of labour organising and it’s not about celebrating girlbosses or any whitewashed corporate feminism. It’s about equal pay for equal work, full bodily autonomy, the liberation of queer and trans women, sex work decrim, fairly shared domestic labour, global decolonisation, fighting misogynoir, an end to sexual harassment and rape culture, a society that actually supports those trying to raise children, fair representation of women across all sectors and positions in society, media and stories that don’t cast women as passive and useless. Reminder that patriarchy is inextricably linked with the forces currently wreaking such destruction on nature and the environment, that a green future is a feminist future and a feminist future is a green future. From Greta Thunberg to Leah Namugerwa to Christiana Figueres, Mikaela Loach, Xiye Bastida and Nemonte Nenquimo, women are powerful and important voices across our movement, leading the way and demanding the change we need because they understand that it’s all connected.

[luxiomahariel]

this argument that terfs dont hate trans men/mascs just as much as trans women/fems has been pissing me off for a while and i wanted to collect a bunch of vile shit that terfs have said about trans men/mascs to show just how much terfs hate us in a very distinct way

but i really did not want to actually look through terf blogs and posts and subject myself to all that hatred because i will just end up feeling fucking miserable

LUCKILY i remembered caelan conrad did three entire movie length videos discussing the gender critical movement and they showed a SHIT TON of screenshots of the stuff these women would say behind closed doors, so here is the screenshot amalgamation of how terfs REALLY feel about trans men/mascs that they "pretend" to care about:

i have linked caelan conrads videos under the readmore as well as included content warnings

and here is my disclaimer: i am NOT CLAIMING that terfs hate trans men/mascs more than trans women/fems. i am showing you how they hate our two groups in vastly different ways that sometimes overlap and sometimes dont. but they DO target ALL OF US MORE OR LESS EQUALLY. STOP DOWNPLAYING THE OPPRESSION OF TRANS MEN/MASCS AND LISTEN TO US WHEN WE SPEAK OUT ABOUT THIS SHIT AND UNDERSTAND THAT WE WANT TO FIGHT AGAINST OUR OPPRESSORS TOGETHER. WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DO THAT IF YOU KEEP DOWNPLAYING OUR EQUALLY VALID STRUGGLES IN ORDER TO CLAIM THAT YOURE THE MORE OPPRESSED GROUP OF TRANS PEOPLE. WE NEED TO STAND TOGETHER. AND THAT CAN HAPPEN WHEN WE ACKNOWLEDGE EACH OTHERS PROBLEMS AS EQUALLY SIGNIFICANT.

content warnings for: transphobia, exorsexism, homophobia, misgendering, slurs, conversion therapy, dehumanization, mentions and depictions and mocking of suicide, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of physical assault, internalized queerphobia, discussion of cults, misogyny, racism, misogynoir, white supremacy, islamophobia, antisemitism

[tinseltrinkets]

I don’t know why people think that in order to appreciate Viktor and Mel, both individually and in their relation to Jayce, one has to be discounted or dehumanized.

It does a disservice to all three characters, putting Mel and Viktor’s worth entirely on Jayce and turning Jayce into nothing more than a trophy of honor.

All three of them had, in different ways, beautiful relationships with each other.

Do I believe in JayVik endgame? Yeah.

But do I also think that Mel and Jayce had a beautiful connection, not just as romantic partners but as genuine friends, and that this doesn’t have to be ignored for Jayce and Viktor’s to be realized? Of course.

Fandom does thrive off discourse, but it also thrives on appreciation. We can advocate for the appreciation of one character without bringing down another.

A lot of those who discredit JayVik do so in the acknowledgment of the misogynoir towards Mel. This is definitely a factor, especially when she’s made out to be only an obstacle or experience for Jayce to realize Viktor is his soulmate.

But this doesn’t need to be accompanied with ableism towards Viktor and homophobia towards the ship itself.

Some people might ship JayVik because yaoi, but that doesn’t mean there’s no merit to it or that that’s everyone’s reason.

JayVik is not, by any means, forced.

Their motivations from the start to discover something revolutionary is from a displaced need for love and appreciation.

Jayce wants to feel worthy of appreciation and feel that he’s contributed something to the world. He explicitly states when talking about being unable to help Viktor that he hates to feel useless, and I don’t think that’s a disingenuous statement.

Viktor wants to feel that his appreciation is something that matters, that he matters and that by going above and beyond in contributing to society, he’s disproving all the misconceptions of his value that he’s internalized.

The reveal that Viktor was that mage that propelled this dream in both of them aligns both with the plotline and the themes. Two people realizing that their love (however you interpret it) for each other was the real dream, the memories of discovery being re-contextualized to emphasize the discovery of each other rather than of a scientific breakthrough, is truly remarkable.

Along with this, Mel and Jayce’s journey, especially pertaining to Mel’s character, showing that through seeing that the gifts she was taught to value for their ability to manipulate and attain power can be used to heal and connect with others and connect with herself past her expectations as Medarda and discover herself as a person who is warm, kind, and powerful in a way she couldn’t imagined without it accompanying violence, intimidation, and a complete lack of warmth or intimacy, is also remarkable.

While this is wonderful by itself, I’m glad that Mel is going to be the center of a new story, where she doesn’t just have to discover herself, but also hopefully connection with others. A lot of the time, the “strong black woman who doesn’t need anyone else” is sort of an excuse to not flesh out her relationship to other characters. People other than Jayce. Even Jayce and Viktor had other positive connections in their lives. So far we haven’t Mel truly be able to connect with anyone outside of Jayce, which thus far had made sense for her character as she had to keep a lot of her relationships pragmatic. But now she has the opportunity to be herself and use her gifts the way she wants to.

I think instead of hoping that her and Jayce’s relationship will be rejuvenated to fulfill this (because unfortunately, yes, he has been the only character she’s been able to connect with positively), we should be excited for the potential of her having her own story.

[diangelodork]

sorry for outing your tags babes, BUT YEAH. so much of why people hate her is internalized misogynoir and frustration that she’s standing between charles and edwin. these people will use any excuse other than the truth to point at and say “noooo, THIS is why we hate her! not because she’s a black woman in the way of my otp!!!” but then love esther because she’s “a girlboss! mother! queen!!” and it’s fine to have that opinion, but it’s incredibly evident that they don’t actually give a fuck about the actions, but other factors that they already have prejudice about. be so fr dude, you don’t care that she did bad shit, you just don’t like her.

crystal willingly made someone walk into traffic. she sucks lmao

yeah, she did suck. and then she lost her memories and the memories of the way she was traumatized all her life and realised she had been a shitty person and is actively making efforts to be better. no one is saying she didn’t used to suck, she absolutely did. the difference is both that she was a vulnerable child with powers that were so much bigger than her and she didn’t know how not to abuse them, and that she acknowledges how shitty she WAS and is repentant and is working to be better