#internalised homophobia

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

Unsurprisingly, one kiss in an alleyway behind some bins doesn't fix your problems. Previous part is here, I skipped Castafiore's introduction because I animated it here!

This is part of my story, The House of Glass. Poor Chang is going through it in this one.

[angelwithnightmares]

The famous gay panic bro-tap x3

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

Source: Love Shook My Heart; New Lesbian Love Stories - edited by Irene Zahava

[a-study-in-bullshit]

"i wish you were a girl"

"fuck a girl then"

[valeriearmani1]

no because sirius’ & regulus’ internalised homophobia would literally ruin them

like there would always be a voice in the back of their minds screaming at them that it’s wrong & itd cause them to self destruct (isolating themselves from their partners, not eating, ect ect.)

[delusionaltogether]

Me when "Of course you could've been together. Mike loved you from the start, he was just scared of his feelings. For all his cockiness, he didn't know how to act around you. And you know Mike, he likes to run..."

[theangelofbrahma]

declaring 'i hear the beads clicking at night, angelo' as the most devastating tv quote for all religiously traumatised queer folk out there

[nando161mando]

how to know you've internalized capitalism

[verdantdaises]

Do you have more Catholic Bradley headcanons? I also see him as Catholic too 🤞 and I'd love to hear more of your thoughts

(ps love your fics!)

OMG!! (Thank u btw ily)

OMG!! I love Catholic guilt Bradley!! I will say, straight up, I’m not religious, and I never have been, so I’m not VEry familiar with Catholic stuff, but I’ll try my best to get the ✨vibe✨ sorry if I get anything wrong and they aren’t very specific, I’m not very confident with the details despite my research lol

-he used to go to confession almost every week after school, desperately trying to do anything to quell the impending sense of panic that came with all the thoughts about boys (of course)

-he was one of the only kids in his parish that went that frequently, and his parents used to brag that it was because he was because he was wise beyond his years, and would do anything to be in God’s good graces

-the first time he went to a high school party with weed, he went to confession every day for a week

-quickly however; he starts to use recreational drugs and drinking to quash the impure thoughts, he mumbles a quick prayer of forgiveness every time he finishes a drink, but it doesn’t stop him, the guilt got murky when he was under the influence

-he stopped going to communion and confession when he was 18, he tells his parents he still goes, but he doesn’t feel like he’s worthy of gods good graces

-he was really close to a boy in his parish, they spent services together, they would run around outside of church after services while their parents spoke. When they were 15, they hid in the pews while everyone was milling around outside and he kissed him. Bradley freaked out, and pushed him over, and he cracked his front tooth on the tiled floor. His parents berated him for hours and hours, and he sees the cracked tooth and the smile of the boy who made his haunting thoughts a reality in his nightmares, because he LIKED it.

-it confirmed everything about how he saw himself, it wasn’t a hypothetical, or just thoughts anymore. He spiralled for a few weeks, refusing to leave his room or his house, except to go to church. His parents thought he had come down with a stomach bug. The boys family moved pretty quickly to another church after this incident, and Bradley never saw him again, sans in his head every night for years.

-speaking of nightmares, when he was a teen, he used to wake up screaming, so much so his parents tried to take him to a doctor, but obviously there wasn’t anything physically wrong with him. It morphed into just waking up soaked with sweat.

-when he was 24 he starts the painful process of deconstruction with the help of Max and Tank’s support, and his parents don’t take it well at all. They cut him off completely, and his mom secretly sends him periodic messages saying she’s praying for his soul, and that she hopes he might one day make it to heaven. He never replies.

-the guilt gets smaller, but there’s moments he reaches for his rosary, and he finds his tongue knows the shape of prayers no matter how old he gets.

[gayforminatozaki]

shoutout to girls with severe internalised homophobia 💞💞💞

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

What does the reconciliation between Haddock and Tintin look like? Up to the gallery there's a lot of implied sentiment. Do they ever talk about it? Does Tintin ever ask for advice / talk about his feelings for Chang with Haddock and Nash??

they haven't discussed things openly but have sort of gone back to being friends again, with lingering thoughts going on in the background. They both have an idea that they're queer but haven't come out explicitly.

haddock's british and tintin's belgian, would they ever sit down and just talk about feelings?

this follows on from this! chang has asked tintin to go dancing with him after tintin finally escapes the cave

[asexual-society]

This might be a stupid question but what exactly is "internalised gay-/bi-/ace- etc. phobia"? Is it only called that if I'm ace and wish I wasn't for example? Or is it also internalised phobia if someone claims to be accepting of a sexuality but secretly isn't?

And how do I know if I have internalised phobia and how do I get over that? I'm aroace and I'm fine with the ace part but the aro part troubles me sometimes. I can't help but see it as a huge personal loss. I know about qprs but I want the romance, I want the feeling and I'm not capable of it. And that bothers me. And yes, it makes me feel broken.

So. We live in a society. Most of us live in a society that is misogynistic, that is racist, that is homophobic, that is ableist, etc. Everyone who lives in a society like this will spend their life internalising these messages, so even if they are a part of one of these groups, they may still hold bigoted views towards other people of their same group (or towards themselves). I'm going to explain to the best of my understanding but people are free to correct any mistakes I might have made.

A common example of internalised homophobia might be if a gay man is distrustful of other gay people who are especially over the top in expressing their queerness, or has a dislike for effeminate gay men, or a lesbian who thinks gender nonconforming or butch lesbians are ugly. Internalised -phobias and -isms can also be self-directed having been enforced for many years by others, such as a woman who shaves her whole body because she views having body hair as being "unhygenic" for women, or a woman who genuinely believes that she, and all women, are less intelligent and more emotional than men.

A person with internalised acephobia may have learnt from society that being a virgin or not having sex, or specifically being asexual, is weird or embarrassing or cringe, and feel the need to have sex just so as not to be one of "those people".

Crucially in order for some form of bigotry to be called "internalised", the person has to be a member of that group, so if an Asian person is racist towards a black person, that isn't internalised racism, it's just regular racism (or specifically anti-black racism). If an alloromantic asexual person says something like "I'm ace but don't worry, I can still feel love", that's not internalised arophobia, it's just regular arophobia (but it might also play into internalised aphobia if they feel that the only way they can deal with their asexuality is to throw themself as hard into their romantic endeavours as possible).

Lots of aromantic people struggle with the effects of amatonormativity, and feeling that their life will be incomplete without romance, or that they're missing out on a fundamental human experience (this is not true, you can live a happy and fulfilled life without romance or any form of relationship). You could be what's known as Cupioromantic, which is a label under the aro umbrella that describes aro people who enjoy being in romantic relationships and seek them out, but it's important to understand the distinction between wanting to be in a romantic relationship because you enjoy it, and wanting to be in a romantic relationship because you feel like you won't be happy any other way.

Unfortunately (if you see it that way), wanting not to be aro will not make you magically allo. Wanting to be another sexuality has never been able to turn someone into that other sexuality, that's why conversion therapy doesn't work. You have to find a way to live with it, and there's no surefire way to accept your orientation, but having other friends who share your orientation can be one of the best ways to feel less broken and less alone. Personally, I like to write about aro characters who are like me, mostly because they don't really exist anywhere else, and it helps me to remind myself that I'm not the only person like me in the world. But you could also listen to more music that isn't about love, or see if you can avoid specific things that you know make you feel unhappy in your aromanticism. I'm not saying it's easy, and I'm not saying that path to acceptance will be linear, but I do think trying to work towards that acceptance is worthwhile.

I hope this helps, and that you feel better about yourself soon.

~ mod key

edit: the reason i hesitated to call "wishing i weren't aro" "internalised arophobia" in that post, is largely because it depends where the desire not to be aro is coming from. if it's from a profound loneliness that many aro people experience due to their aromanticism, being misunderstood or even abandoned by their friends, having difficulty connecting with people who aren't aro, that's very different from a person wishing they were aro because society tells us we aren't whole without a partner, or that we're missing out on this experience, or even that we're broken or mentally ill for not being able to experience this sort of attraction.

[pezberrywhoreee]

...

this is so disappointing, gay people

[indianchindian]

Watched Stranger by the Shore and it's the best thing ever!!

My mind is still processing things, but the relationship between Shun and Mio is beautiful. I wish Mio's character is more explored since he's the protagonist as well but I love how they showed internalised homophobia in Shun.

This is my third time watching an anime movie (first Your Name, second Spirited Away), and tbh I found some parts of it hard to understand. It would've been less confusing if this was a series, and the characters would've been developed well, but I love how Shun and Mio's relationship was portrayed. Although Shun took an interest in him when Mio was 17, they were in a relationship when Mio was 20, hence he was a full-grown adult. Their age gap was 7 years, and I wish it was much closer, as a review of it said. But the chemistry between the two main characters was a chef's kiss and I love how their relationship progressed. Their relationship wasn't creepy at all, thankfully.

The sex scene was my favorite. It wasn't even remotely sexual, as it explores the feelings the characters have for each other, with Shun's mental state being explored. It isn't your typical sex scene used to fetishize their relationship, but it digs deeper into their characters and it is emotional (the KinnPorsche bathroom scene in episode 7 made me realize my preference for emotional sex scenes). When they cuddle after having sex, which wasn't so great, then zooming in to Shun crying as he cuddles Mio made me cry as well.

In this case, gay people were shown to be humans. Their sexuality didn't define them. I liked that Shun and Mio weren't the only same-sex couple since there was a happy lesbian couple too.

Looks like I need to watch the movie again to understand it better because my thoughts aren't clear atm, but this movie was successful in making me cry. I liked Mio and I wish his character was explored as someone who was recovering from grief, but I think the makers focussed more on Shun and there was not enough time to cover Mio's side of the story. Might make another blog on this move (will write a more detailed review on WordPress), but thanks for reading (for those who stumbled through this.)

:)

(Pics and GIF are from Pinterest)

(and I read two reviews based on it so some of what I wrote are influenced by those)

[kevinsdsy]

i would love to share my headcanon about seth gordon being very much queer.

(let me say in advance this is very much my own headcanon and even though i’m rereading these series for the 4th time now, i don’t think i’m too familiar with all the headcanons there are, but from what i’ve gathered seth is very much disliked).

anyways i’m a ‘seth gordon is gay truther’ and consider allison his beard 🫣; but let me move on to what i came here to say.

seth gordon has a crush on kevin day (because at this point who hasn’t) and i’m a firm believer he is dealing with internalised homophobia and that’s why he hates kevin so much— seth gordon hates kevin day so much, because at the end of the day he will always like kevin day just as much as he hates him. and obviously he can’t let anyone, including himself, know about this big revelation so he needs to prove his hatred by picking so many unnecessary fights.

let me bring back the next line:

seth shouldn’t care about neil josten all that much to be getting out of bed just because he heard kevin’s name called out to potentially pick a fight?? that man has something to prove to himself and he excuses his need to be involved with kevin by how much he actually hates the guy and he needs to prove himself by trying to fight kevin, because that’s the only way he’ll allow himself to touch kevin. that’s the only way he can make up for all the soft touches they’ve shared in his dreams.

[nutler--kleinja]

i am so convinced my moms a closeted homophobe

my mom is openly homphobic, and basically hates me because i came out as trans and bisexual

now, she’s talking about her friend who confessed to her when she was like idk 16/17

she SAYS she hates her because her friends a lesbian

but like she’s talking about her the same way Kim “I like women.” Dokja talks about Yoo “I’m not into men!” Joonghyuk.

She said, quote:

“如果她是男的人，我肯定会要和他一起，但是，他是女生。”

which translates to:

“If she were a guy, I’d want to be with her(date her), but she’s a girl.”

and like when I asked her about her ex-best friend’s looks, she said, quote:

“她很美丽，黑色的长发和瓜子���，是很美丽的。”

which translates to:

“ she’s very beautiful, with black hair and an oval face, which is very pretty”

mom do you really have to repeat “she’s pretty” twice

i get it, you like her

come on mom

is it that hard to realise you haven’t gotten over her

same thing happened to my dad, too, exept he knew he liked the guy and ISNT homophobic 🧍‍♂️ the man he liked was though(sigh)