#interdependence is not codependence

[1101200905]

reparenting Can't be the solution to parentalization. like. i had to parent myself so the only solution is??? i have to parent myself again????????

no offense but I'm actually fucking tired of doing that?

(i also get pissed at the idea that the correct response to loneliness is learning to be alone. that's in direct opposition to how Human Beings Work).

[palmettoshenanigans]

*grabs your face by the cheeks* Listen- listen to me. Andreil? Was never about codependence. No, don't run- listen. It was never about codependence. Stop biting me- Andreil was always about learning to be independent and fiercely choosing interdependence through the process

[conceptionsofconciousness]

The Zodiac Signs and Psychology of Reliance

Independent Zodiac Signs Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer (Nakshatras of Ashwini, Bharani, Krittika, Rohini, Mrigashira, Ardra, Punarvasu, Pushya, Ashlesha) Free from outside control. Things are about themselves first and foremost. Needing to get what they want. Putting their own foot forward. Distrust, relationship issues, and burnout from over-depending on self are problems dealt with.

Co-Dependent Zodiac Signs Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio (Nakshatras of Magha, Purva Phalaguni, Uttara Phalguni, Hasta, Chitra, Swati, Vishakha, Anuradha, Jyestha) Prioritizes Others. Attached to other people. Need the "approval" of a mirror (Other person) to feel secure about themselves and what they do. Boundary and control issues, trouble making decisions, and feeling the need to be perfect plague them.

Interdependent Zodiac Signs Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces (Nakshatras of Mula, Purva Ashadha, Uttara Ashadha, Shravana, Dhanishta, Shatabhisha, Purva Bhadrapada, Uttara Bhadrapada, Revati)

Believes everything is connected and there is mutual dependence between things. Everyone needs everyone to make life work. Delegating responsibility to lighten the load. Issues can include being too political and giving up autonomy in decision-making, lack of self-awareness, and uneven value systems/losing resources toward others.

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

Just saw someone call Payneland toxic codependency and oh my fucking God they need to make a pool noodle that can smack someone through a screen

[mamashenanigans]

His brother’s eyes finally flashed with rationale. He slowly lowered Yoichi to his feet, but his grip didn’t dissipate.

“I need to take, Yoichi. I need to consume. I don’t know the in’s and out’s about it, but it has to do with my metapower. I just can’t stop!”

“We’ll figure that out together. There has to be another way. I’m not asking you to completely give up on using your power. That’d be living up to what you always say, wouldn’t it? That I’m ‘foolish’? I hate to admit it, but we do need the money you can get from giving people powers. But you can’t keep going about it the way you have been. We finally know the joy of not having to move from place to place. This area, the people, they are rebuilding. I…I want to stay here.”

Big Brother’s large hands tightened. “You’re mine.”

“I know.” A tear fell down his cheek. His brother released his left arm to bring his hand up and scoop the tear onto his finger, his left hand moved down to Yoichi’s wrist.

Then his twin gingerly licked the tear from his finger, closing his eyes in ecstasy.

“You know not to tell me what to do,” he whispered.

“Yes, that’s why I’m not. I’m giving you the final say.” Yoichi whispered back.

“Mmm, then I say I’ll give this little whiny plan of yours a try. Just know, that if I don’t like it, if I can’t compensate for the loss of taking, then it’s over. We go back to doing it my way. Understand, dear little brother?”

“Yes.” Yoichi pointedly gazed down at his brother’s hand wrapped around his wrist. A favorable memory of that same hand pulling him out of cold water. “I understand.”

“Then let’s figure it out, shall we?”

+++++++++++++++++

A snippet from a one-shot I’m working on for a new collection about the brothers’ past, both canon compliant and alternate universe stories.

This one is a serious take on a crack idea where Yoichi never introduces the comics to his brother, so AFO never becomes AFO and never obsesses about becoming the Demon King. However, AFO’s intrinsic desire to take and consume still rules him and Yoichi tries to quell the desires by begging his brother to calm down before the anti-meta groups take notice.

How AFO ends up quenching his desire to consume and Yoichi’s role in it by giving in to his own innate desire to give, creates a world where AFO never became the dreaded super villain, but one in which the twins become depressingly codependent.

Check the tags for more clues.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I so badly want to make a post about psychological or clinical terms that get misused over and over in fandom spaces (like I did previously with codependency) but also. I don't really want that kind of attention haha

[brainspiraling]

Once, I thought I had to prioritize you to truly love you, but the truth was that we needed to prioritize us, both together and independently—interdependently.

That's the love we needed and need—equal overall, though one of us may take priority at different times depending on the circumstances, our abilities and such.

I needed to feel prioritized, seen emotionally, too.

[nururu]

Tbh strawhats are a good example of healthy codependency

[zot3-flopped]

“I just don't understand the long-term strategy here and it does make me sad to see some of the Twitter fans just absolutely parroting the you need me as much as I need you BS. No - they should not need Louis as much as Louis needs them. And to take advantage of an already vulnerable group - which he KNOWS, as he has basically called them out for being conspiracy theorists and unable to distinguish reality from fiction - seems very wrong to me.”

Agree with this previous anon so much. He knows that he has a lot of unstable fans who live for this codependency nonsense. It’s all over social media these last few days. They are eating up this crap. He may be qualifying the future success of the album with his comments, but he’s also manipulating fans with clear mental issues. He loves to play the victim, then the fans become the savior. In a more normal fanbase maybe that works, but with Larries it’s really disgusting how he uses them. I have no love lost for Larries and their craziness and truly harmful actions, but Louis is in the position of power here and he plays them like a fiddle.

👏👏👏👏👏

[randomshipperhere]

Does… does proshipper not mean pro (in favor of) shipper????

[sapphicslaylist]

HELLO YES T H ANK YOU FOR THIS

I was like holy shit am I the only one who sees how codependent he is. It isn’t a deliberate sense of harm so much as just him trying to be pacifist and affectionate, often trapping himself in a cycle of, subconsciously, fear of a lash out just as much as the princess is.

In Damsel, Burned Grey, HEA: You nailed it; I genuinely have nothing else to add. Excellent. Thank you.

Razor, MOC, Fury: You died horrifically and he was just one of many voices who arrived after & often experiences continuous slaughter therein. He notably discusses [paraphrasing this] MOC as cruel and merciful for even an ounce of kindness. He is literally grasping at straws for justification of why he is chaining himself to someone who’s hurt him and he’s hurt in turn so irreparably with the insistence that he needs to fix it. He’s similar to Broken in idolization & power; it’s devotion to someone with that over you. He MUST alter the script not only to break the cycle, but to SURVIVE. Yes, Smitten is a flawed survival voice. He just wants the bloodshed to stop.

Thorn: ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL to his development. She is inverted Damsel. Damsel is his worst; it’s where he makes it horrible for everyone including himself by insisting he has control over the situation. In Thorn, he actually suits her needs and reads her signals properly as a cry for help (both physical & psychological, because let’s be honest Thorn is HELLA mental illness coded). She, like him, is begging to break the cycle and survive.

Much in the same way that Smitten is underappreciated as a survivalist, Thorn is indeed one of the Ferals™️ (Beast/Den, Witch/Thorn, & Wild). Everyone within that path are stripped of their perceived humanity, and have adapted to overcome it by gaining claws and teeth (Thorn still has hers; they’re just hidden beneath the guise of civility). She understands that you need to put your differences aside to get out.

Smitten, in this case, has understood the way that Witch operates. She is distrustful for a clear and obvious reason: you lie and turn to violence once she’s vulnerable. The blade exchange is a method of empathetic sacrifice when it gets right down to it — you’re showing that you’re not a threat. But she can’t trust you, despite longing for that to be the truth. So when it shows that you were serious about trying to be better, you’ve both went in for the kill and created a cycle where no one wins.

Thorn is, in the end, the Truth™️ Smitten is seeking. She proves everything that he’s fighting for, the real “happy fairytale story.” She’s a woman caught in a self-imposed snare who is actively wants help and reconnection. She has been molded to think critically of the situation, and still wants to be with you. She sets clear and vocal boundaries with you, which Smitten NOTES are clear and vocal (“she trusts us! She trusts us! We should be honored to gain even an ounce of it from a maiden so guarded” — I AM NOT saying that Damsel is “wrong” for not setting them; she does not know how). He actively defends her against the threats she cannot see while letting her take control, because she has a voice and he knows it. You can leave together seamlessly and break the situation to your will. You communicate. You both get what Smitten knows she wants and she doesn’t know how (“this one years for connections she thinks she doesn’t deserve”). She is the antithesis of HEA & Damsel. She’s aware. She’s the situation which proves everything Smitten is fighting for. If you slay her, you are bound for eternally. You both have to stop fighting and team up.

I have… Soooo many thoughts about HEA vs Thorn (notably, on the poster, Thorn holds the blade close to her chest wherein HEA actively flicks it away) and their situations with Smitten. Smitten is deeply psychologically complex and reacts to setting without understanding of Her unless it’s blatantly clear. Tl:dr someone needs to get this man some therapy and help him istg. He’s phenomenal when he’s able to read the situation and earthshattering when he is not.

Voice of the Smitten is a coping mechanism. (and so are the other voices)

The same thing applies to the rest of the voices, yes. But for my sanity, today, let's just talk about Smitten[I am ill about him].

Smitten is fixated on the Princess and on appeasing Her because he's born out of a belief that She's their only way to happiness and safety.

In Damsel's chapter 1, LQ establishes for themself that the Narrator is not a safe nor trustworthy person, but unlike Prisoner's ch1, instead of learning to be generally cautious and adopting an idea that there's no one they can fully trust, Quiet puts all of their trust into the Princess.

I strongly believe that, in order to shield themself from a dangerous, unclear, and scary reality, LQ dives into a sort of... 'fairytale' scenario. And that scenario, by extension, becomes the backbone of Smitten's whole worldview. He, just like the rest of the voices, is born out of a need for safety and control, and he knows of it as his purpose and his yearning. His mindset works as a mechanism that protects Quiet from a state of intense stress and discomfort.

So then, what is this mindset, exactly?

Well, for Smitten, expectations of certain roles appear. Roles that everyone has and needs to uphold: The Shining Knight, the Helpless Damsel, the Villain that's keeping them apart.

"Then you should know that we and the Princess are in love and the four of us will be foiling any and all assassination attempts you've got in the works."

These roles bring a sense of comfort. He has this vision of what the world is supposed to be, of what he's supposed to be. Fairytales always have happy endings, so with this vision, there comes a promise of everything working out.

"If he just makes everything go the way it's supposed to, then they'll be safe."

It gives Smitten the role of a protector, someone who controls the situation and wants the best for Quiet, as opposed to the Narrator who has an ulterior motive and clearly just wants to hurt them.

It gives him a sense of control.

So when something goes wrong, it feels like that control is yanked away, and that threatens his and LQ's safety. It takes away his happy ending that he tries so hard to keep.

"We'll get our happy ending, even if it damns each and every person who's ever lived!"

Another thing worth remembering is that the voices and LQ are at least under the impression that they haven't been living for very long. The only experiences they have to go off of, to learn from, are the ones we see in Chapter 1 and then on. To Smitten, the last time things went awry, they died horribly.

So it's no wonder he freaks out and feels like he has to push back for control. And that is also why he sees no problem with killing Quiet's body or even detaching himself from them entirely.

"Don't mind my sacrifice. It's a fair price to pay to give her everything she doesn't know she wants."

He places the responsibility for taking care of everyone on himself. Smitten is firmly under the impression that he "knows better". And he's even proven right a fair amount of times, which only solidifies the idea in his head.

"I told you! There's no life more worth living than that of a true believer!"

"I told you our love was insurmountable!"

But that also means Smitten unintentionally traps himself(and everyone around him) into a box, limiting his potential to just that, a shallow role. And that creates the feeling of inferiority.

His role is all there is to him, so if he can't uphold it, then it means there's something fundamentally wrong with him. It means he's failed.

In fact, Smitten seems to be laser-focused on his own shortcomings, at least when it comes to the Princess.

If She's somehow unhappy with anything Smitten has to offer, then it's not because She did something wrong, or because of some outside factor out of their control(he doesn't want to accept anything being out of his control, even if it would seemingly benefit him). No, it's because Smitten wasn't enough.

He idolizes Her while putting himself down.

"That's because she's perfect!"

It's a bit more complicated with The Long Quiet. On one hand, they are technically one person, but on the other, the voices like to distinguish themselves and seem to have a sense of their own identity.

If we take a look at one of Damsel's third chapters: The Burned Grey, Smitten is very distraught and angry at Quiet, and yet also berates himself at the same time.

"Ah, yes. The mirror. So we can see the monster we've become."

"No, my love! You did nothing wrong! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY, NOT YOU!"

So I think we can assume that it's a mix of both. He may feel angry at LQ but will ultimately blame himself.

Because it's his job to make sure everything went smoothly. It's his job to make sure that She was happy, because if She's happy – they're happy and they just threw all of his work away, but he was supposed to stop them. He was supposed to keep them happy.

He was supposed to keep them happy.

[eatingfood]

it’s awful today how I’m treating myself, like I shared a video on my facebook, something positive that can help others, but it’s just I’m not supposed to be online because I can’t seem to love myself as I should, the last few days. So I’m crossing my own boundaries again and it doesn’t feel good. nothing feels good right now,

how I’m aware I’m looking for external validation, that’s when my alarm is ringing I need to validate myself urgently. and for me valentine’s day is a day for your friends too but it doesn’t seem like that to my friend, like just a message to celebrate the friendship is the bare minimum

not hearing anything on my message of sunday tells me I need to back off, so that’s what I’m doing. it tells me rejection is redirection for the millionth time so that I would listen and move on

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

I feel like codependency in media is almost always unhealthy, but a thing that makes Dead Boy Detectives stand out is how good both Edwin and Charles are to each other. Like, do they 100% lean on each other for support 24/7? Yes. Are they so devoted the lines blur not just between friendship and romance but also between where they each start and end? 1000%. Is there no room between them for anyone else to fit? Hundo p.

Charles and Edwin are not codependent; they are interdependent.

Both of them are unique individuals with individual identities. They build each other's identities up but haven't each lost themselves in their friendship. They can't imagine being without the other, but it's not because they won't know what to do with themselves; it's because they would spend eternity mourning the loss of the other, because they rely on each other so much for so long and love each other more deeply than most people could imagine.

They both treat each other so well. They love and accept each other fully. There's no discomfort between them; there's never a divide. They're a set, but they're a set of unique individuals. And I love that for them.

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Top "Glow Up" Tips & Habits To Become The Best Version of Yourself

Prioritize the Holy Trinity: Nutrition, Movement, & Sleep. Following a whole-foods, plant-based diet with vegetables and/or fruit at every meal and limiting processed foods is one of the simplest ways to improve your overall health. Drink plenty of water, have any necessary supplements (like vitamin B12, vitamin D, omega 3s, etc.), and reduce your consumption of sugary, alcoholic, or caffeine-loaded beverages. Try to incorporate at least 30 minutes of walking and/or a simple 15-20 workout into your everyday routine. Make getting a full night's rest (usually 7-9 hours for most people) a non-negotiable in your life.

Practice Radical Self-Acceptance. Fully embrace your personal values. Get comfortable with your authentic desires. Define and set goals for yourself in every area of your life.

Nourish Your Body, Mind, and Spirit Consistently. Eat a healthful diet (enough food without overstuffing yourself), sleep and move enough throughout the day, and continue learning and educating yourself on current events, your industry/career field, art, culture, history, world languages, etc. Practice mindfulness and self-care activities. Honoring your sexual needs. Giving yourself at least one rest/reset day per week.

Cultivate Sustainable (and Personally-Fulfilling) Routines. Your sleep schedule, work/school schedule, workout schedule throughout the week, social and self-care time, date nights, time for your hobbies, errands, cleaning, and relaxation. Make appointments with yourself to empower you to fulfill all your daily tasks and activities to ensure you can work and play without burning yourself out in the process.

Set Boundaries. With your friends, family, work-life/professional network, romantic and sexual partners, and yourself. Understand your emotional, physical, and energetic limitations. Communicate them clearly, compassionately, and unapologetically. Cut toxic people out of your life. Avoid codependency like the plague. Nurture your healthy and supportive interdependent relationships regularly.

Learn What You Enjoy. Ensure To Incorporate These Products, Routines, and Relationships Into Your Day. It can be a piece of dark chocolate and a favorite T.V. show, a long evening phone call with a loved one, a hot bubble bath, or any other small luxury that gives you genuine pleasure and adds some necessary joy to your day.

Check In With Yourself Regularly. Pivot When Necessary. Self-improvement, goal setting, relationship building, and cultivating unshakeable self-love/life satisfaction takes time, experimentation, trial and error, and tons of self-reflection before you get it right in any area of your life. Be honest with yourself on what's work, what's not, where to remain consistent, and what areas of your life would benefit from a change.

[eatmangoesnekkid]

Interdependent relationships are not the same as codependent relationships. Do not be afraid of interdependence. Our world desperately needs more Venusian energy—more love, reciprocity, and mutual care, especially in these times of uncertainty. —India Ame’ye

[dreamypisces888]

Indicators in Synastry chart that show Karmic bound or Soulmate or Twin flame!

Karmic/Past Life Indicators:

Saturn aspects between charts, suggesting lessons and responsibilities carried over from past lifetimes

Moon contacts, reflecting deep emotional ties and empathy bonded through previous incarnations

North Node conjunct Mars - this implies courageous missions undertaken together, with passions energizing your joint work to answer soul contracts.

North Node squares Venus - suggesting vulnerability has been a theme, but through cherishing each other unconditionally, developmental wounds may finally release their grip.

North Node also squares Neptune - shared illusions are being dismantled now so your true purposes can shine through to lift others' dreams as well.

Jupiter's trine indicates generous lessons learned through past committed partnerships that instilled outlook expansion.

Saturn's squares denote relationship stability challenges overcome in past to build trust where before vulnerability caused reactivity.

Uranus' dissonance represents awakening of individual needs that transformed codependency to interdependence through understanding each soul's electricity.

Chiron's opposition attests to healing wounds of abandonment through this bond by giving/receiving unconditional acceptance of one another as beloved healers.

The Part of Fortune contact connotes duties fulfilled through supporting one another's growth despite hardships faced side by side.

Soulmate Indicators:

Strong synastry involving personal planets like Venus, Mars and moon, showing intimacy on emotional, physical and intellectual levels

Aspects to Jupiter, bringing out the higher, expansive qualities of the relationship

Grand trine formation, allowing the connection to flow smoothly

Venus-Mars aspects: Trines, sextiles signify attraction, passion, compassion fueling the relationship.

Moon connections: Trines, sextiles seen to mutual Moon signs portray deep empathy, nurturing energies between partners.

Sun-Moon: Classic soulmate aspect with the Sun of one lighting up the inner being of the other.

Mercury patterns: Flowing aspects allow profound communication and intellectual understanding.

Grand water trines: Subtle, supportive emotional exchanges indicating souls long acquainted.

Grand fire trines: These energize and inspire through shared adventures, philosophies.

Grand cross with a focus: Formations symbolizing karmic purpose found together through challenges.

Multiple planets conjoining a point: Depicts strongly mirrored or complementary soul qualities.

Jupiter moon/venus touches: Foster abundance, trust and joy through good and difficult times.

Twin Flame Indicators:

Opposing charts with emphasis on polarity and balance

Planetary mirrors like Venus/Venus reflecting a profound recognition

Intense aspects between outer planets Uranus, Neptune, Pluto triggering spiritual awakening

Mirroring of Lilith placements pointing to a mission to heal ancestral wounds

North/South Node conjunction uniting your twin soul purposes

Strong Pluto aspects like conjunctions, squares: Indicates intense soul transformations experienced together.

Moon-Moon connections: Mirroring of each other's inner emotional landscapes.

Grand mutable T-squares: Formations that activate personal evolution through the relationship.

Sun-Uranus aspects: Bond awakens revolutionary qualities in each other's core identities.

Saturn-Saturn ties: Connections hinting at developing a mature spiritual partnership through difficulties.

Jupiter-Neptune: Expanding compassion and ability to creatively actualize shared spiritual visions.

Venus-Chiron: Healing each other's heart wounds through unconditional love expressed physically/creatively.

Mars-Mars: Dynamic actions challenging complacency drive evolution of passions together.

Moon-Node aspects: Deep ties to emotional life purpose resonating with soul's shared past/future.

Moon-Pluto: Intense emotional triggers that purge illusions through soul-baring intimacy.