#intentionally hard to read
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How to kiss someone
Close ups under cut




I don’t really. Have much to say about this. Something something. Beauty in the horrors of the facility. And in each other. And in the things wearing your face. And in the things trying to remove your face.
#clover draws#lethal company#lethal company employee#suggestive#in a way. somewhat#cw eyestrain#I mean suggestive in its implied they’re all fucking isuppose#good luck making any of this out#YAY#intentionally hard to read
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reminiscing about childhood books after that ask - all due respect to cool sleek movie toothless....but to me, he will always be a mean little gremlin
#my art#dragon#illustration#how to train your dragon#httyd#httyd books#i love you small toothless. i love you and your beautiful eyelashes. you are not overshadowed to me#also fireworm (top right) and monstrous nightmares as a whole were SO influential on my art and also my ocs#i never thought about it until very recently but my god. my god. so obviously a heavy influence on florawell especially#i drew her a lot as a kid she was my fav. cause she was mean and snooty. nowadays i do appreciate the ugliness of seaslug though#i wanna read the end of that series eventually....get some childhood closure#cressida cowell's drawing style is so charming and good...like drawing intentionally ''bad'' (10000 quotation marks) is so hard to pull off
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I don't know how everyone isn't also always constantly thinking about how burial rites seem to be potentially one of the few things Siffrin instinctively remembers about their culture. But rest assured. I am in fact always thinking about it.

Textless version where they're just hanging out. It's fine!
#love how i said id slow down on fanart. and then didnt. anyway. the bg is supposed to be a ocean shore but its vague intentionally.#ALSO SORRY FOR DRAWING EVERYONE FACING AWAY FROM THE CAMERA ALL THE TIME? WHY DO I KEEP DOING THAT IN MY ISAT STUFF. HELLO? HELLO??? WHY???#in stars and time#isat fanart#isat#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat loop#siffrin#sifloop#lucabyteart#hi again sifloop tag. read this as you will. go nuts. i know you people are here for the crumbs.#if you want other thoughts re: what they do/do not remember on instinct. i wonder what their culture's bonding ceremony equiv is.#since they dont seem to have any answers to that. perhaps since not directly asked during that conversation. hm. feels like a cute fic idea#not that ill be executing on that.#ill be damned if i bare my ass on ao3. i can barely write about my ocs without feeling like im naked on stage. i salute your kind's bravery#also sorry if the dialogue here is hard to parse what order its in. its a zigzag of some kind im not fighting my absolutely ass typesetting#samdontlook
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.

i don’t even know what to say anymore.

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every single day people openly proclaim just how little jewish life means to them. every life lost in gaza is a world. but saying that this one bombing is worse than the holocaust and nazism is evil. it’s just fucking evil.
if this is referring to the bombing of the tents in rafa, it’s reported that 50 people died. that’s 50 worlds. 50 people who shouldn’t have died. but please be fucking real. please explain to me how you can justify saying that that is worse than the systematic murder of 6 million jews. you are openly admitting just how infinitesimally less jewish lives matter to you than non jewish lives. to openly say that 50 non jewish lives are worth more than 6 million jewish lives — particularly when this is a comparison you did not have to make — is beyond antisemitic.
#ip#not even going to go into how framing this as ‘the (((zionists))) burning people alive’ is fucking insane#israel bombed a refugee camp that caught fire and killed people#that is awful enough as it is#but there are people out here fully parroting the rhetoric that israel *intentionally burned people alive* solely to catastrophize#when ‘zionists’ here is being very clearly used as a stand in for jew#it is hard to not read this as a mutation of blood libel#jews getting pleasure from gory violence against non jews#it’s a trope that’s been becoming increasingly popular#and it is incredibly disturbing
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jaytim but damitim were getting married for reasons (maybe politics or they just have a really toxic relationship and tim is done) and tim runs away and into jason car
oooh i LOVE this. i think it's pretty easy to swing DamiTim getting married for political/family reasons. maybe something that Ra's arranges, forcing Tim into agreeing bc it keeps WayneCorp safe and out of the hands of someone like Tommy Elliot. and it's more fun if for that reason, neither Tim nor Damian are a fan of this turn of events. bc it *works*, legally, but they can't stand being in the same room as each other. maybe they hatefuck a few times, but it's clear they're terrible for each other. or maybe Damian is actually too controlling of TIm, seeing the marriage as an opportunity to finally force obedience out of Tim and that's his breaking point for going with Jason.
and Jason being the disgraced family figure who ends up getting Tim out of it is so fun. bc no one would expect *Jason* of all people to be the one to get Tim out of this situation. at first Tim goes with him just for the reprieve of getting away from Damian for a night, then it turns out Jason actually has a pretty well thought out plan for Tim to be able to get out of the marriage. and sure they're hooking up the whole time, but Tim doesn't actually expect to catch feelings. catching feelings would probably make the whole situation a lot more complicated. but he spends more and more nights at a club Jason owns, sometimes crashing at Jason's apartment not even for sex, but just to get away from everything. fuck buddies but they have a slow burn romance sort of thing going on as Tim deals with legal divorce proceedings. also sort of fun if Damian fights the divorce and you have the fun lil tropey moment of Jason protecting Tim, as well as the larger family reaction to Jason and Tim getting together if Jason is perceived as the family pariah. who approves and who disapproves, how the things that forced Jason out of the family are handled now that he's wrapped back up in the legal drama of everything. there's literally so much you could do with this, i adore it.
#necrotic answerings#jaytim#damitim#I tried to keep this like#intentionally vague to be read as both a canon au or a civilian au#it could work as both but clearly canon au would take more work#but either are good#usually I don't do civilian aus but this one could be so much fun.#I want to write this more than I usually do#I thought about it hard enough it works so much better in my head than it should#honestly I love that. I love getting drawn into the rare civilian au fic idea bc they're not usually my speed#so when they click they *click* yk#this might go on the back burner to revisit in the future for me
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another snippet from the Grand Princess novel. I am going to be SO ANNOYING about this. (spoilers for their first life! )
Although he didn’t want to admit it, Pei Wenxuan still remembered that at the beginning of their marriage, when he lifted Li Rong’s veil, she raised her head and looked up at him with embarrassment and curiosity. Then, when they exchanged cups of wine, she said in a frank manner: “Wenxuan, no matter how we came to be together, having become husband and wife, I still want to live with you for the rest of my life.” At that time, he also seriously thought that he would live with Li Rong, have children and live peacefully for the rest of their lives.
That was, until Li Rong found out that he liked Qin Zhenzhen.
In truth, he didn’t even know what kind of feelings there were between him and Qin Zhenzhen, whether it was love or merely responsibility. They grew up together as children, and he only had her in his heart and hoped to live with Qin Zhenzhen for the rest of his life, but he could not do so.
Later on, Qin Zhenzhen married Li Rong’s brother, Crown Prince Li Chuan.
As Crown Prince, Li Chuan was a good Crown Prince but not a good husband. He married for political reasons, so although he was just the Crown Prince at the time, he already had a Princess Consort and four concubines. Qin Zhenzhen had a mild temperament and was unfamiliar with Palace affairs. If not for the Crown Prince’s favor and Pei Wenxuan’s help, she would have been long buried in the schemes of the Eastern Palace.
He helped her. Li Rong naturally knew about it, but she didn’t mention it at first. Later on, when he secretly rescued Qin Zhenzhen at a palace banquet and almost was exposed, Li Rong could only step in and help him with arrangements.
That day, they were sitting in the carriage on their way home, and Li Rong was silent. He was a little panicked at that time and wanted to explain, but he didn’t know what to explain because he felt that no matter what Li Rong said, she would be right.
Then, Li Rong returned home and after entering the bedchambers, she walked to the table and poured tea for herself. She turned her back to him and asked: “Do you like her?”
Pei Wenxuan stood at the door. He actually intended to say no, but he felt that it would not be completely truthful, so he replied honestly: “I can’t forget her.”
“What is your relationship with her?”
Li Rong held the cup of tea and looked very calm. Pei Wenxuan still told her the truth, their engagement when they were young because they were childhood sweethearts. After his family had fallen, the Qin family annulled the engagement, and Qin Zhenzhen was forced to marry into the Eastern Palace…
“I just wanted to help her,” He said in a low voice, “No other intentions. She’s the Crown Prince’s Side Consort now. There’s nothing else I can do.”
After he had spoken, Li Rong didn’t speak for a long time. That silence became a deeply engraved impression of that night for Pei Wenxuan.
He saw that Li Rong kept drinking water, one cup after another. After a while, Li Rong seemed to calm down. She turned her head, stared at him and only asked: “Will you betray me?”
“No.” He answered immediately. He looked at her, “You’re my wife.”
“I’m not your wife.”
Li Rong looked at him with a serious expression: “I’m just your ally.”
These words stunned Pei Wenxuan. Li Rong turned and looked out the window and calmly continued: “In this marriage, you and I had no choice and only did it for power. Truthfully speaking, there’s not one bit of love between us. You have someone in your heart, and I have someone in my heart. It’s just that we didn’t make it clear before and had some misunderstandings. Now that it’s clear, it doesn’t matter.”
“It’s not a big deal either,” Li Rong laughed, her tears seemed like they could fall at any time, “Why didn’t you say so sooner?”
Pei Wenxuan stared blankly at her. He wanted to deny it, but he felt that Li Rong wasn’t wrong either. There was no such love between him and Li Rong because it was impossible for a person to truly love two people at the same time. He already had Qin Zhenzhen in his heart, so how could he make room for Li Rong?
Seeing that he still had not spoken, Li Rong lowered her head and softly said: “If you make it clear, then it won’t be a problem. We will live as we have in the future, but I hope Pei daren remembers this in his heart:
I’m not your wife, and you’re not my husband. I don’t care who is in your heart, and you don’t need to care about who I am with. You and I will have our own lives, and we will each have our own happiness.”
“As long as Pei daren promises me,” Li Rong looked at him, her eyes sharp as a hawk, “You and I are allies, so we must never betray one another.”
That evening, it also rained.
Just like now, the rain was pouring down.
#cdrama#the grand princess spoilers#the princess royal spoilers#the princess royal#the grand princess#this scene has lived in my head since i first read it last year#this is so classic silvia: i would compartmentalize and shut off my emotions in exactly the same way#and try to move forward smoothly with minimal dramatics#so i can deeply empathize with both characters#i just really like both main characters#and all of their mess and insecurities#they try so hard and do their best#their best was not that great in their first life lmao#but damn they did try#like even in this scene!!#they both handle the uncovering of his emotional ties to another woman in Not Great ways#but they are not intentionally being cruel to each other or out to damage each other over it#each wants to be fair (within their own concept of it)#and never intends this to be something to be used to ruin the others life#this is a royal princess like Wanning in The Double#but her reaction is certainly not to try to have this lady murdered#his reaction was perhaps naive and doomed the marriage but his intent was to not be misleading#and he wouldnt make promises that couldnt be kept#this scene crystalized me really liking these 2 and feeling an emotional stake in their happiness#(just becoming good friends or developing as more was fine with me)#cdrama spoilers
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Some Stranger!Noelle and Susie expressions from this weekend's drawing that I'm pretty pleased with.
#S!Noelle's hair is orange because it's really hard to see the white lines when I'm inking#so I ink in orange and then replace it with white during the coloring stage#I wouldn't try to read into their expressions too much#These are from like page 103#so there's plenty of missing context and I'm intentionally presenting misleading panels out of order#looking glasses#ferrousart
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everything you despise will continue to haunt you forever in every single little thing you see
#maurposting#maurt#oc#also all that text in the bg is his repressed thoughts :3. intentionally made em hard to read#shes completely normal😁!!!! as long as you dont think about it or look at it too hard.
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I want this character to be canonically gay because it would be an interesting culmination of his arc but also because dudebros online have fully bought into his hyper-masculine cool guy bravado instead of understanding who the character really is and I think if he kissed a boy it would kill them dead
#I also think the writers may have unfortunately bought into the bravado#But like I know that actor knows his soul#He was talking about how he intentionally lowers his voice for the character bc he thinks the character is intentionally lowering his voice#And I was like “thank god you understand the level of try hard cringe this guy is”#Also in an interview he compared the character’s tumultuous relationship with his (male) childhood best friend#To that of “young lovers who went through a breakup and saw other people before coming back to each other”#Anyways he’s far more interesting (and sympathetic) if you read him as closeted and masking I’ll shut up now#He unfortunately will never be gay for this exact reason bc people like him too much but I’ll know
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i dont wanna hear anyone bitch about the frequency with which i upload my comic for a myriad of reasons but one of which being that I essentially post 2-3 pages at once to begin with- like I do not need to make the strips as long as i do but i do it anyways and you're welcome.
#some other reasons are but not limited to:#me having my own life and learning how to take care of myself and my environment which absorbs a lot of my time#me having to help my gma with shit or go over to my moms house in general which is a problem bc i cant exactly bring my giant ass tablet#and desktop with me to work on the comic while im there#im a gardener and plants require way more attention than you think. oh not only am i a gardener but i also grow things from seed#often. LOTS of things from seed. you should see my set up if i werent worried about doxxing. i have so many shelves with lights lol#and seeds more attention than you'd think.#outside of that i'm disabled and often have to take care of myself in that regard#outside of that- plenty of yall dont even actually fucking care and just want to make fun of my passion project bc you cant handle ppl#being genuine. also plenty of yall want to pretend to have reasons to not like it so you want to read into everything and say im saying#shit im not saying and come to wild ass conclusions about my intentions just to paint me as bigoted and if you cant do that you're#gonna pretend you're suddenly a well respected and intellectual art critic and try to make fun of it in that regard when you'd never#even dream of doing that to my abuser on here who's art I would say is way more kindergarten-level than mine.#like if any of you even try it you have to then do the same to them and be fucking fair but something tells me you wouldn't.#you'd hold me to unreasonable standards and praise them for painting with their shit. just like with everything else.#so because i have all of that ^ and plenty of other bullshit to look forward to when i post my comic it also kinda makes it hard to fucking#want to and ive become a lil bitter and spiteful and have been withholding it intentionally in some ways but mostly im busy trying#to heal myself from everyone sucking so much more than i ever thought they could.
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did any one else have to read the KJV bible as a kid? was there a reason for that?
#child indoctrination#ex cult#i'm guessing it was at least partially for cult reasons but i'm not 100% sure why#but i read a kjv bible passage last night and it reminded me that i was reading this at like.... 9-10#and like. that seems odd now?#i know it's considered the most “accurate” to a lot of evangelicals#but nkjv is.... right there? and a lot easier for kids to read?#idk. feels weird. like they want kids to read an intentionally hard to understand version without context?#and that it would be really really easy to insert their own meaning/agenda in there#and then it would be harder for “”“outsiders”“” to like argue against it bc most people aren't reading the “”“real”“” version anyway???#idk. just curious if anyone else has opinions/similar experience lol
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My 3 little cousins were baptized today. "Triggered" is kind of a strong word but being in a catholic church again... I'm a little fragile rn ngl.
#butch speaks#it was hard not to shake as i held J over the basin to have the water poured on his head#when he was cleansed of sin. as if a little kid could ever knowly or intentionally offend a so-called loving god#the words came naturally to me#but they meant nothing#i remember when they used to mean something. when i begged gods forgiveness for my sin (being a lesbian) and tried to pray the gay away#i remember how much i wanted to die bc i could never truly embrace the sacred#i STILL deal with the complex of catholic guilt. its a very real thing. its hard to shake#i cant help but wonder if the catholicism ingrained in my brain is why i have a hard time with casual dating n sex#fun fact: there was a point when i was a teen that i got REALLY catholic#i prayed everyday. i talked to my patrin saint (st agnes) every day. i wantsd to become a nun#the thought of marrying a man mad me more sad than feeling like an alien did. so id marry the church as a nun.#not the way to hide being a dyke when ur fam is catholic btw LMAO#the first priest i knew was father joe. i loved that guy. he was so kind. friendly. briming with love.#he was one of my biggest references for what a good person was like#he talked about gods love a lot. how its for everyone. no one is exluded. ever.#he used to look right at me when he said stuff like that. a few other kids too. all of whom grew up to be queer#then father joe passed away. our church merged with another church. father jeff was the priest there.#he was kind but not as kind. he talked about hell and sin more. he looked at the same kids father joe did.#but the kindness in his eyes wasnt there.#that wasnt for us.#my family wasnt even THAT catholic#i went to church every sunday i did vacation bible school and catechism classes and youth group#i was an altar servant and in the choir#i even used to speak/understand a little latin#imagine how much worse id have been if my mom could have afforded catholic school lmao#grateful to have grown up poor in that regard#hm. actually... reading my own tags. mayne we were pretty catholic actually.#fucking hell.#i need to have lesbian sex in a church before god and everyone. mayeb that would fix me.
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"Who are you?"
"I am nothing and everything. The link between life and death. I am both weak and incredibly strong. I'm both rational and insane. Nobody can at first glance tell if I'm a man or a woman."
"I am Coda DeCrescendo, it's a pleasure doin' business with ya."
#//My favorite insane lawyer <3#//Intentionally hard to read because it took some WILLPOWER to post this cringefest.#Ace Attorney oc#ace attorney art#Ace Attorney#AA#AA OC#Coda DeCrescendo
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the minecraft movie minus the cringey marvel dialogue could have been a genuinely good film
#i dont want to be genuinely mad at hollywood writers just from a trailer#but the crafting table stuff and the floating tree and everything is AWESOME and FUN genuinely!!#they dont have to try hard!#but they know its gonna sell bc Minecraft so theyre just throwing in whatever bad shit to make it Intentionally Bad#we dont need jumanji 2 ripoff intro#we dont need quirky characters#we dont need ANY characters this shit could be plot driven ONLY#but alas#bad writers gonna make money and good writers gotta watch and suffer#a dramatic reading by cassidy
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i can admit some of my lizzietommy posts come from a place of loving lizzie as a character and perhaps letting my rose tinted view of them speak for me but it’s interesting how Lizzie says “not once have you let me in” just like Ada back in season 2. She does genuinely love him but how much of what she thinks she knows about him is her having to fill in the blanks
#which brings me to my next problem of am i just projecting hard on tommy or is this a legitimate read lmao#i don’t believe he’s intentionally not letting his closest loved ones in to be honest#I think he genuinely just. does not know how#which like. me too king#do not interpret this in any shape or form as me dunking on lizzie or their relationship lmaoo killing u with my mind etc
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writing update :)
-i know i said painter au chapter 9 was nearly finished but then i … decided to essentially rewrite it lol (i’m much happier with it now it’ll be worth the extra wait) it’s still not finished but i’m back in the groove and making good progress now
-i wrote a oneshot that people seem to really be enjoying! you know i love a little wilmon confronting trauma moment
-lake house .. so sorry to my lake house stans but editing it is tedious and i really don’t want to update until i’ve edited the past chapters, plus i think chapter 10 may need some rewrites so i’m not sure when she’ll be out but i promise it’s not abandoned! bear with me 😫
-lastly: i don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up but twitter got ahold of my maddierosh fic and really loved it so there’s been some … ideas for a follow up bouncing around in my little brain … it’s not my priority but sometimes i like to churn out a oneshot if i’m struggling with my longer pieces so who knows
thank you for your patience; and if you want faster updates i swear almost every comment i receive genuinely spurs me to open my google docs app and keep going in that very moment so do not underestimate the effectiveness of dropping a short lil comment on an old piece if you’re feeling impatient <3
#i know it’s hard to follow fics when there’s not consistent updates so it truly means so much to me#that people are invested even though im not able to work on such a tight schedule#was just journaling about the difference between working from a place of trying to create content#versus making art#because there is such a difference when i treat my writing updates as social media updates that should be churned out quickly#vs actually making sure that the things im making are deeply aligned with the things i am aiming to examine#i would rather work closely and intentionally and deeply even if that is a slower process#because i know that is the way to create things that truly move people and stick with them which is really important to me#if people are going to spend their time reading my work i want to honor that by giving the most that i can in return#because it really does blow my mind and make my heart feel like it might explode knowing that people are reading my stories#like these things that live in my brain? are in the world? someone commented they were eating breakfast through tears#and i felt so horribly tender towards that person i will never know it just.#is so moving to me#and i’m very very grateful#and all the waiting will be worth it i promise
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