#insurmountable amount of silly!!!

[lifemod17]

another hilarious intro to Abstract (Psychopomp) and then checking to make sure fans are alright

🎥: wwhorezier | x

SummerSalt Hunter Valley || 11/16/2024

[neon-glowing-rainbow-stims]

Posts here will likely be on hiatus for a couple weeks as I finish up the semester <3 I'll be back soon enough!

[desi2go]

About the night two months ago

pairings: Jisung x reader

warnings: unplanned pregnancy, angst, best friends to lovers, comfort and fluff

summary: You didn't plan on getting pregnant and not from a one-night-stand. And most definitely not from your best friend. Yet, here you are, pregnant, without a plan how your life will go on and how you will tell Jisung.

Since you were a little child, you had always planned your life because you always had a vision how your life would look like. You knew that you couldn't control everything in your life but the things you could influence were constantly orientated at your goals and dreams.

You gave your absolute best at school to get accepted at the best college even though you often felt exhausted and tired of learning until midnight. But you were determined to get the life you always wanted and dreamed of. And you wouldn't let any obstacles in your way that could put your goals at risk.

You avoided distractions as best as you could. However, you weren't a killjoy. You loved to expierence completely new things and to attend parties in college. Just because you're determined doesn't mean that you couldn't have fun.

Someone, who always strengthened your back and supported you, was Jisung. He was your best friend since high school and with him, you always had fun. After he spilt his juice all over your jacket in the first year of high school and invited you for an ice cream to apologise, you both were inseparable. He was your partner in crime.

However, something you couldn't predict were the two lines that stared back at you. You sat in your bathroom against your bathtub, holding a test strip that seemed to draw insurmountable line between your current life and the harsh reality that stared now at your face. Two unmistakable pink lines.

Your heart raced, your breath shallow and you felt the ground shift beneath your feet. These two fucking lines changed everything. From one moment to another, your whole life was upside down. Everything you had planned out was now on the edge of dying.

The realization slowly sank in after staring at the test for god knows how long. You were pregnant.

You didn't even know how that was possible. You always protected when you hooked up with somebody. There wasn't any chance that you could be with child. But still, you held that pregnancy test strip in your hand and it was still showing clearly two pink lines.

Then, it hit you.

"Two months..." you whispered to yourself, remembering what had happened two months ago after that one wild party. You and Jisung had ended up in bed together.

You couldn't retell everything that took place due to the amount of alcohol you had consumed that evening. But you could still remember standing outside the bar, laughing at some silly joke one of their friends made just shortly before the taxi had arrived to bring you and him back to your apartment.

The alcohol had made them both reckless and the ride was filled with carefree laughter and playful flirting.

The next thing you knew was that you woke up the next morning with a painful headache, totally naked and your best friend's arm draped loosely around you, also splinter fibre nude. And now, that one accident was now turning your life upside down.

Now here you were, two months later, with a truth that could no longer be ignored. You felt sick, but this time, it wasn't from a hangover. It felt as though the walls around you were closing in. How were you supposed to tell Jisung? How could you look him in the eye and explain that one night had consequences neither of you could have imagined.

And then, there was that other feeling, the one that took your breath away. A love that you had secretly harboured for years. Jisung was the person you had confided in about everything, except for this one secret.

You hated fate for putting you in this impossible situation. Why now? Why like this? It wasn't that you don't want to have children, no, but not now. This wasn't how your life was supposed to go. The irony was almost unbearable. That now, when you needed your best friend the most, you feared losing him more than ever.

One thing was clear, with the jumble of thoughts, you couldn't tell him anything about it yet. So, you waited some days to sort out your thoughts and get your mind straight. For a day, you played with the idea of aborting the child but even though it was definitely not planned, you already loved the little bean growing inside of you.

You knew that you couldn't avoid him forever. Usually, you met every day. It was a mirracle that he didn't already sensed that something was off when you didn't get in touch with him for some days.

You took a deep breath and reached for your phone as soon as you found the courage. Your fingers trembled as you dialed Jisung's number. The minute dragged on painfully and with each ring, your heart grew heavier. Finally, he picked up, his familiar, warm voice coming through the line.

"Hey, Y/n. Everything okay?" he asked, his voice laced with concern, signalling that he already sensed that something was off.

You swallowed hard. There was no easy way to say this.

"Ji, we need to talk"

"Are you okay?" He asked hesitantly. He wasn't used to you being so direct so he immediately worried.

A pause followed before you answered with a short yes.

"Please, I need to tell you something. Can we meet up tomorrow for lunch at our café?" You urged.

Fortunately, he agreed without further asking questions. You hated lying to him and you definitely weren't fine. You were terrified about what was about to come and how Jisung will react. But you wouldn't want to tell him over phone. He deserved to hear it from you face to face.

It sounded unimaginable and bizarre that he was the father of your child. However, you still regretted sleeping with him. This whole situation wouldn't happen if you just didn't drink that night. And you couldn't forget how he acted the morning after. Jisung acted like nothing had happened, like it was a completely normal thing. But it wasn't and the way he shrugged it off without mentioning it once after that, hurt you more than you had expected.

It was a mistake for him, clearly. Otherwise, he wouldn't act like that. And it showed you that he never saw you in that way. You were just his best friend, someone he loved like a sister. And it just hurt so bad that the guy you have been crushing over years, only perceived you as a family member.

Even if the situation you were in sucked, you now had someone by your side. The little bean growing inside of you. And you will love it no matter what.

You told yourself that over a thousand times til you entered the café the next day, anxiously looking around to see if Jisung was here. He wasn't and you sat down at your usual place by the big window. A waitress came and took you order. Normally, you would drink a coffee but you have read that caffeine was harmful for the baby so that you rather picked a tea and for Jisung an americano.

Just shortly after your drinks were placed on your table, Jisung sat down in front of you, giving you a small smile. After being his best friend for so long, you knew that he tried to judge why you where so serious and distant.

"Hey", he said, puffing air out and brushing a hand through his hair while the other one grabs his americano.

"Hey Ji", you mumbled, taking a deep breath. Now, there was no other way than telling him. You couldn't turn around anymore. Your hands wrapped around your hot tea, something you could cling on. The café was usually one of your favourite places, a cozy refuge filled with warm light and the comforting hum of quiet conversations. But today, the familiar setting only heightened your anxiety. Your foot tapped nervously under the table, your heart pounding in your chest.

"I was starting to think you were avoiding me" he stated and he wasn't wrong. You nearly dodged all of his texts and just answered shortly when calling.

Jisung looked at you closely, concern etched on his face. "Y/n, what's going on? You haven't been yourself lately. Is something wrong?"

Your hands trembled around your tea and you pressed them against the cup to stop it.

"Jisung, there's something I need to tell you", you began, voice shaky.

"What is it?" he asked softly, his whole attention drawn to you. You couldn't meet his gaze, your heart was racing and you felt like you might throw up.

"Do you remember that night two months ago? The night we ... we slept together?" you finally managed to say, your voice barely audible.

Jisung's expression shifted from concern to a mix of confusion and shock, his eyes widening as he processed your words.

"Yeah, I remember" It was the first time you spoke about that night. "What about it?"

You swallowed hard, your mouth dry. This was it, there is no turning back now.

"I'm... I'm pregnant, Ji", you whispered, tears sparkeling in your eyes, finally looking up to meet his gaze.

For a moment, time seemed to stand still and there was just this silence, no quiet conversations could be heard. It was like the whole world paused for one moment. Jisung just stared at you, as if he hadn't fully understood what you had said. His face was a mix of shock, confusion and something else you couldn't quite place.

"It's yours" you added slowly.

"You're... pregnant?", he repeated, as if saying the words out loud would make something change. "And it's mine?"

You nodded, eyes filled with tears. This was it, the end of your friendship. Every moment, he would just jump up and run away, leaving you alone in the mess both of you made.

Jisung leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair as he tried to process the bomb you just dropped on him. He looked away, out of the window, as if searching for some kind of clarity in the world outside.

"Y/n, I... I don't know what to say", he admitted, his voice strained. "This is... I mean, this changes everything"

You nodded, throat tight with the turmoil of emotion within you. "I know. I know it does. And I don't expect you to have all the answers right now. I just... I needed to tell you. It's your baby too and you deserved to know"

"We'll figure something out. I don't know how yet, but we will figure it out"

The weeks that followed your conversation in the café were a whirlwind of emotions and decisions. Jisung and you spent countless hours talking, sometimes late into the night, about what you are going to do and how you felt about everything. The initial shock began to give way to a deeper understanding and connection between you.

Jisung was there for the first doctor's appointment, holding your hand and reassuring you whenever fear threatened to overwhelm you. You spent more time together than before which was something you thought wasn't possible because you were always joined at your hips over the last years. But in those new moments of shared vulnerability, something began to shift between you.

Both of you agreed that you wouldn't get a abortion and you must admit that you fell in love with the little bean growing inside of you.

You laughed at one of his suggestions, shaking your head. "You seriously can't be proposing 'Rufus' for a girl's name."

Jisung grinned, a playful glint in his eye. "Hey! It's unique and she will never meet another Rufus in her life"

You rolled your eyey but there was a warmth in your gaze. "We'll keep it as a backup" you promised, smiling and mindlessly stroking over your still flat belly. A comfortable silence settled over you, and you found yourself studying his face, the familiar lines and expressions that had been a part of your life for so long. There was something different in the way he looked at you now, something deeper that you couldn’t quite put into words.

Your best friend noticed you observing him and raised an eyebrow. "What is it?" he asked softly.

You hesitated, your heart fluttering in your chest. "I've been thinking a lot lately... about us. About what all of this means"

His expressions softened and he shifted closer to you on the couch, his fanding yours. " I have been thinking about that too" he admitted, his voice low and serious.

You took a deep breath, gathering the courage to say what had been on your ind for so long. "I have always cared about you, Ji. But I think... no, I know... that it's more than that. I've been in love with you for a long time now. And I was so scared to lose you, I didn't know how to tell you"

His eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, you worried that you said too much, too soon. But his hand squeezed your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a soothing gesture.

“Y/n,” he said, his voice filled with an emotion you had never heard from him before. “I’ve always loved you too. I just never knew how to say it, or if you felt the same way. But now... now I know that I don’t want to go through this without you. I don’t want to miss out on what we could have together.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but this time they were tears of relief and happiness. “Are you sure?” you asked, your voice barely more than a whisper.

Jisung nodded, his gaze never leaving yours. “I’m sure. I want us to be a family, Y/n. I want to be with you, not just because of the baby, but because I can’t imagine my life without you.”

The words you had longed to hear finally fell from his lips, and the weight that had been pressing down on your chest lifted. Without thinking, you leaned forward, closing the distance between you, and kissed him. It was a soft, tentative kiss at first, but it quickly deepened as years of unspoken feelings finally found their release.

When you pulled back, both of you were breathless, but there was a sense of certainty that had never been there before.

“We’ll figure this out together,” he said, his forehead resting against yours. “Whatever happens, we’ll face it as a team.”

You smiled, your heart swelling with love and hope for the future. “Together,” you echoed.

And as you sat there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the path ahead no longer seemed as daunting. You both knew there would be challenges, but you also knew that you could face anything as long as you had each other.

[hammerbonk]

Here’s a goofy ooc Vernetto exchange I came up with. Tbh I just wanted to think about sleep deprived Vertin being silly and Sonetto continuing to never beat the ouppy allegations💀💀

Sugarcrash

Recently, Sonetto had witnessed the Timekeeper go through one of their most challenging ordeals yet: no Picrasma Candy.

They were due to get another batch from Medicine Pocket themself, but due to ‘higher priority projects’, they refused to manufacture any unless Vertin coughed up some extra funds, which they had a distinct lack thereof.

When Sonetto checked earlier that day, Vertin had been on their last few pieces, determined to ration what they had. It was now late in the evening, leaving Sonetto with very grim feelings about what state her superior could possibly be in.

She could distantly recall learning the signs of withdrawal symptoms, and her blood ran cold. If the claims of Pricrasma Candy containing alcohol were to be believed, then Vertin could be suffering from a lack of that and the cell stimulating effect of the Pricrasma concentrates.

And as the Timekeeper’s chief assistant, their wellbeing was her top priority! She had to check up on them.

“Timekeeper? It’s Sonetto. Please may I come in?”

She knocked on Vertin’s door, ears pricked for a reply.

“Come in.” Came the Timekeeper’s voice in an unusually flat tone.

Entering their office, Sonetto immediately made a beeline to Vertin, whose posture was a bit too rigid while their head was slumped at a good 45° angle.

Even in their exhaustion, they held onto the pen that they were using to fight off the insurmountable amount of paperwork they had received. Her gaze softening, Sonetto wrenched the pen from their hand and put it aside.

“It’s alright, Timekeeper,” she whispered gently. “You can go rest in your room. I’ll handle the rest of the reports for you.”

In scenarios like these, Sonetto expected to hear some sort of protest from the ever altruistic Vertin. But to her surprise, none came. They simply watched her as she took the papers from their desk.

“Mmh… Thank you, Sonetto…”

There was a long pause before Vertin said something else, half lidded silver eyes blinking slowly at her.

“…pretty.”

“Sorry?” Sonetto asked, cheeks instantly turning as red as her hair.

“Pretty girl. You’re such a pretty girl,” Vertin said in an incoherent manner that somewhat resembled cooing. “Who’s a pretty girl? Who’s a pretty girl? You are, you are…”

To Sonetto’s flabbergasted delight, Vertin brought their gentle, uncoordinated hands to her head, ruffling her hair and squishing her cheeks, all the while tumbling all sorts of strange praises from her mouth.

But just as she was settling into the affection, they snapped out of it, and quickly recoiled their hands. She just barely put a lid on the whine that was about to escape her throat.

“My apologies, Sonetto,” Vertin whispered, mortified at themself. “To be frank… I think I am losing it.”

“I— you—” she took a deep breath. “That’s alright, Timekeeper.”

[eggymf-archived]

no place like home;

ft. garreth weasley with f!reader/mc (one-shot)

themes: hurt to comfort, angst to fluff, established relationship, aged-up characters, post-hogwarts, fiance!garreth, ex!dark!mc, slytherin!mc, 3rd person pov

warning: two idiots in love arguing, mc being the bigger idiot for once, implied traumatic events, implied violence, not spoiler-free, get a load of this sap

summary: she couldn't bear to make him suffer with every horrific danger that constantly chases her, hence she decides to run away one rainy summer night.

word count: 3.2k

a/n: happy weasley wednesday! this is my first entry and fic of garreth actually. i’ve decided to frankenstein the [lyric prompts] sent by @applinsandoranges​​ a while back along with the weekly prompt for weasley wednesday, “wet”. also, if you have read these two smut oneshots (pt.1 and pt.2), this fic features the same mc (just older). that aside, enjoy? :D

main masterlist || series masterlist || AO3

bonus: audio

It was during the summer of 1892 — the year when they finally graduated from Hogwarts. 

She never expected to be given the privilege of spending the summer after her 7th year with Garreth. It was undoubtedly what she truly needed: an opportunity to escape from the utter chaos of the life she has within her own family home in London: specifically her father's seething wrath after that stunt she had pulled, which almost destroyed their own family’s stellar reputation within the wizarding world's pureblood society. 

Family drama aside, not only was it the perfect time for her to rest and recuperate, but it was also the chance for her to contemplate the future now that she has broken free from the shackles of her responsibility as an heiress (temporarily, that is). Perhaps in the midst of it all, she could also make amends for her past wrongdoings.

Oh, but [what on Earth can atone for all the wrong things that she had done]? 

It wasn’t an easy task, to say the least, for the blood that was spilled on her hands all in the name of the greater good has long stained her psyche. There was an insurmountable amount of filth that resides within her as the vessel of accumulated pain, and all she could do was endure the ordeal. The moment she had made that dire decision in the repository during her 5th year, she was doomed to a life of loneliness, but all of that changed during her 7th year when the threads of her own fate were intertwined with his.

She never would've expected that Garreth Weasley out of all people would serve as the beacon that would lead her back to all that had been long forgotten — her own happiness. 

Truth be told, she wasn't the most forthcoming with the notion of romance in general due to her unsavory experiences and personal issues, opting to steer clear of the entire topic in general. In fact, she was better off alone, but for some miraculous reason, the fiery-haired male had managed to creep into her heart, taking his rightful seat on its long-abandoned throne. It was truly a mysterious outcome, for nobody would've foreseen the unusual relationship to even happen, much less prosper.  

A Slytherin and a Gryffindor; the celebrated hero and an aspiring potioneer. They were like day and night; the sun and the moon — ever so different, yet fell in love too soon. Perhaps the irony of it all was what truly brought the both of them together, regardless of all their atrocities, differences, and follies combined. 

But even the greatest of love stories always had their own fair share of trials and tribulations, and the silly, dramatic little tale of her and Garreth weren't an exception. She remembered it all vividly: the times when she'd discourage him from pursuing her, only for her to fall harder and harder for him in the end.

“You'll never know peace a day in your life once you decide to be with me, Weasley.”

“I'm not good for anyone, lest you want a head full of gray hairs before you reach the age of forty.”

“You're better off without me, I assure you.”

“Garreth, please don't. I'll ruin your life.”

Yet her words, no matter how grim, threatening, or incessant, would always be met with his adorably goofy little grin along with the same simple reply that held the undying promise of his devotion and loyalty.

“I know.”

If only things were that simple.

From this moment onwards, ["I know" is never good enough] — not when she's aware of the dire consequences that would soon follow should she decide to pursue the yearnings of her poor, naïve heart. It was too huge a risk to gamble the life of the man who had brought her solace and joy amidst the pandemonium that rages within her blackened soul, for he was all she had left — the only person who would never treat her as a pawn across the chessboard; her most trusted confidant, companion, and lover: her chosen family.  

The musical incantation of Vulnera Sanentur from his Aunt Matilda's lips was all that she heard whilst she silently wallowed in her own thoughts of self-blame, her eyes darting around the damaged parts of their humble abode out of pure guilt. She glances at Garreth's father, who winces as several hands aided him to sit more comfortably on the sofa. His younger sister and older cousins scampered around to repair the several damages within the house whilst checking up on the others after the incident.

It was an ambush by dark wizards: the ones who sought to covet the corrupted power within her. Despite her not being a family member of the Weasleys, they fought gallantly alongside her, defending her as if she was one of their own. Although they are well capable of empathizing and understanding her prior violent display of magic within the heat of battle, it did not quell the bubbling shame that stews within her being. 

It was almost the norm for her to be targeted by the enemies that she had made in her past battles, but to be attacked while she was in Garreth's family home? To put the Weasleys in danger? Preposterous. Utterly preposterous. She'd never forgive her enemies for it. Hell, she'd never forgive herself for it either. 

The warmth of Garreth's palm on her arm startled her from her train of thought whilst she was in the middle of repairing the broken walls, offering her a kiss on her forehead the moment her head turned. 

“Garreth…” her voice, uncharacteristically small and hesitant, trails off while he cups her cheek, tracing his thumb over her delicate face as a form of reassurance.

“It’s not your fault, so please don’t think about it too much, alright? We’ll handle it from here,” he reassures.

Despite her evident disagreement with her fiancé's words, she bit her tongue, not wishing to add any more fuel to the fire. She gave the Weasleys one final glance as she headed to the kitchen to help his mother prepare their dinner for tonight while the others focused on either healing their mild injuries or fixing the damages within their house.

The Weasleys were a beautiful family. It was the ideal family that she would truly love to be a part of in a heartbeat: they were kind-hearted, selfless, and honorable, never swayed by the adversaries that came their way. It was for this very reason that she decided to protect them with all that she has, and she would never allow a single soul to harm even the hairs on their head even if it means that she has to bring herself out of the picture in the end.

Thus, she has made her final decision. 

[She's only safe when she's alone], just as they'd be a whole lot safer without her presence. She could easily slaughter anyone who stood in her way without fear of disappointing anyone with her ruthlessness, and none of her loved ones would be used as ammunition to make her submit to her enemies’ bidding. This painful choice was truly for the best — such as the fate of all fallen “heroes” who walk a lonely, dark path.

Yet despite all the danger he'd have to face and the sought-after coalesced filth of humanity that literally resides within her, her departure was Garreth’s greatest fear.

It was on the same day of the incident that he received the heartbreaking news in the middle of that particular rainy night. His sister was about to pay her a visit for their usual heart-to-heart session, only to find out that she was no longer in their home.

“Gone? What do you mean she’s gone?!” he bellowed, fear lacing his voice as he sped towards the guest room with soft footsteps trailing after him.

“Garreth, I'm sorry. I went to her room and—”

Not giving his younger sister a chance to finish, Garreth barged into the guest room with evident panic, only for his heart to sink at the sight of a room that was entirely bare of her belongings except for a note that she had hurriedly scrawled before she left.

I'm sorry. I love you.

Garreth quickly ran down the flight of stairs and straight to the exit of their home. The shouts and cries of his name fell on deaf ears as he bolted out of the house, racing into the chilly night with a million panicked thoughts buzzing unpleasantly within his head as raindrops drizzled upon his form.

[She had his heart, and he could only hope that she wouldn't hurt him] permanently with one measly written goodbye. He was angry and dismayed with her drastic decisions that lacked his consultation, but he simply couldn't allow all that they'd built to just disintegrate in a blink of an eye. She was, after all, his dearly beloved — the person he'd give his all without a second thought.

As soon as the thunder rumbled, he hurriedly took out the piece of parchment that she had left, casting a tracking charm with his wand. The piece of paper immediately bursts forward, leaving a trail of glittering golden dust for him to follow before the increasingly damp piece of parchment falls to the ground. The spell worked, and it only meant that she hadn't wandered off too far.

He knew exactly where she was from where the trail was heading. With the location clearly visualized within his mind, he apparates to their usual spot, hoping that she was still within the particular vicinity.

Needless to say, he was right.

There she stood in front of the tree where they often frequented for their usual picnics — the place where it's usually just the two of them, gazing upon the meadows of the countryside whilst enjoying the summer breeze. She looks upon the ring that was on her left hand, admiring the ruby and two small diamonds that glimmered under the moonlight. With great reluctance, she attempts to slide her engagement ring off, intending to keep it within their box of little keepsakes before she leaves, which was contained within the tree's hollow.

Amidst the soothing pitter-patter of raindrops, the sound of an audible crack was soon heard from a distance followed by several thuds of footsteps, effectively stopping her. She whips her head in the direction of the sudden noise, only for her eyes to meet a pair of emerald-green orbs. 

[Sometimes, she forgets that she was his] — he'd always find her wherever she may be simply because he knew her that well. She should've expected that he'd figure out her whereabouts within minutes after she had left the Weasley family home. He was, after all, her dearly beloved — the keeper of her heart; the one who knows her better than herself.

“Blast, I shouldn't have loitered around…” she thought ruefully as she faced him completely, a shaky breath escaping her lips as she braced herself for an earful. Instead, he runs towards her with a relieved expression, pulling her into his embrace before kissing her fervently. 

As if it were right on cue, the rain began to pour harder, just like those dramatic little romance novels written by Muggle authors. His touch, although scorching against her cold, damp skin, brought relief to her mind, body, and soul. 

It was only he could bring her such solace, nobody else.

As soon as his lips parted from hers, he grabbed her bag nearby before turning to her direction once again with a tired sigh. Before she could retaliate, he swung his arm around her, engulfing her in his arms before apparating back to his home — specifically into the living room, where the rest of the family was awaiting their return. A blush crept up to her cheeks upon feeling their eyes on her and Garreth, who held her by her waist. The both of them were soaked to the bone with their clothes and strands of their hair clinging uncomfortably onto their skin.

Wordlessly, Garreth set her bag on the ground before flicking the tip of his wand at both of them, casting a drying spell before making his way to the kitchen. She winced at his deathly silence, while the others glanced at each other with an evident grimace as well.

“... Alright, you lot! Off to bed, we go. Come along now!” his mother urges, pushing the other family members right towards the staircase, much to his younger sister's and cousins' chagrin.

“But mum—!”

“Shhh!”

She received several apologetic looks and pats of good luck from his cousins, for she was obviously going to need it. Garreth was upset — abysmally upset to be precise. It was a rare occurrence, but whenever it happens, it was a painful punch to the gut.

Silence looms over the living room, the thumping of footsteps dying out as they scamper to their bedrooms, leaving her and Garreth alone on the first floor of their home.

“Garreth…”

Silence.

“Garreth, please say something?” she pleads, all to no avail. He remains tight-lipped, averting his gaze from her as he grabs the nearby teapot to pour each of them a cup of tea.

She hated it when he was like this, but his reticence was definitely warranted. She sighs in defeat, finally deciding to stop beating about the bush.

“... The attack from earlier—”

“—Was, again, not your fault. And you ran away because you didn't want any of us to get hurt. I know that,” he cuts her off bitterly before he sips his cup of tea in hopes of calming himself down. 

“Then you're aware of the dangers, Garreth. You've seen what they're capable of. You've experienced it for yourself.”

“Yes. So?”

“So why did you bring me back? You know that chaos ensues whenever I'm around, and it's never the good kind.”

“Really, now? Seems like a pretty peaceful night to me until you decided to leave,” he sarcastically snapped, much to her exasperation.

“Garreth, for god's sake—”

He slams his cup on the countertop, nearly shattering the object. His frown deepened, finally looking at her with a glare.

“A note with no explanations? Sneaking out right under my nose? Is that how trivial our relationship is to you?” he asks with a tone mixed with anger and hurt. She visibly pales at this, panic evident within her eyes that he would even think of such a thing.

“Garreth that's not—”

“—what you meant? Oh, believe me, I know. But it certainly feels that way and it's really upsetting. I'm not mad though. I could never be mad at you, but I'm sick and tired of you pushing me away at every bloody inconvenience!”

“I'm doing this for your sake! As long as I'm around, you and your family will always be—”

“I didn't ask you to play hero for us!”

“So you'd rather thoughtlessly sacrifice everyone else just to keep me around?!”

“YOU'RE MY FIANCEE FOR GODRIC'S SAKE!” 

She was stunned into silence by his raging outburst, all retaliations within her head immediately disappearing as he ran his mouth, pouring out every single trace of frustration that had accumulated within his chest.

“Don't you know you're just as important as everyone else in here?! I know what I signed up for — mum knows, dad knows, my little sister knows, every single relative knows! You're already a part of this family at this point!” he continues exasperatedly, running his fingers through his hair out of sheer agitation. “Gods, you’re always like this! I hate that you feel the need to constantly tell me I shouldn’t be with you! I’m still here, aren’t I? Is that not enough for you?!”

She looks away, letting out a shaky exhale while she clenches her fists, her eyes becoming glassy with tears. His heart was thumping loudly, his chest heaving as his emotional hurt slowly descended from its peak. His glare soon faltered the moment he realized the aggression of his words, his fiery anger slowly dissipating as he stared at her with guilt simmering within his gut. Her eyes were downcast while she chewed on her lip, desperately keeping her emotions under wraps while placing her arms gingerly around herself to soothe her nerves.

With an aggravated sigh, he gently pulled her into a warm embrace. She whimpers at his display of tenderness despite the prior exchange of heated words, finally letting her tears run free as she wraps her arms around his waist, a string of apologies pouring out from her lips. He pressed his lips at the side of her head before parting from her as he cupped her face with both of his hands.

“Darling, listen to me. Look at me.”

She acquiesced, her bleary sight slowly trailing up to meet his verdant-hued eyes, which gazed upon her with pure love and adoration despite his recent display of anger. 

“I know I may not be the best man for you, but you best believe that I'll do whatever I can to keep you safe. When I swore to you that I'll accompany you to the ends of the earth, I meant every single word,” he whispers with heartfelt sincerity, wiping a stray tear away with his thumb. “But all I ask of you is to please have a bit of faith in me; in us — that we’ll manage all of this just fine. Please, I love you too much to let you go...”

“But… Your family…” she meekly sobs.

“Then we'll live alone together, just the two of us.”

“But what about you?”

“Then I'll be stronger for you! Hell, I'll beg Sallow to teach me how to duel better if I have to so please…” he begs, his voice cracking. 

“Don't ever leave again. Stay with me until the very end.”

At that moment, she finally caves into her heart's desire, standing on her tiptoes to urgently plant her lips on his without hesitation while his hand flew to the small of her back, the other placing itself at the back of her head to press her further into him. After what seemed like an eternity, they finally parted, gazing at each other's eyes with a smile of relief etched onto their faces. A surprised yelp escaped her lips as he scoops her up into a bridal carry, her arms instinctively wrapping around his neck.

“Well then, now that's done and settled, let's get you to bed, shall we?” he grins, his anger completely appeased by her response.

“At least let me bring my bag upstairs first, love. I need my clothes,” she laughs.

“Clothes? For what?”

“...To change in?”

“Oh, trust me. You won't be needing them tonight,” his voice drops into a teasing whisper. 

Her eyes widened, warmth creeping to her cheeks at his insinuation. He chuckled at her reaction, planting a kiss on her cheek before heading upstairs with her in his arms. The tense aura that loomed over the entire building was now completely gone, her soft giggles of sheer elation filling the halls before a peaceful silence ensued the moment the door to her room was closed shut.

Like the moon and stars that reside in the night skies, this was where she truly belongs — right in the arms of her dearly beloved; her most cherished abode.

[lemonsrosesandlavender]

Introduction

Hello, I’m Cabbage! You can find me as Cabbage_Vampire on AO3. My icon is from Eleanor’s KissCrew Maker! This blog is 90% Rolan (and so is my writing!) but I do love discussing the writing process and reblogging all sorts of wonderful BG3 fan art. Please note my writing is explicit, and this blog is 18+ only. Anyway, on to the master list!

Rolan Fics!

Steel Weave Series (Rolan x f! Human Fighter Tav, E Rated, Second Person POV)

Sharp Teeth 41,316 words, Falling in love with Rolan over the course of the game’s events, and annoying the Hells out of each other. That’s amore! (Complete)

Tail and Tongue 2,475 words. Fluff and smut on the Elfsong roof before the Absolute’s defeat. (Complete)

Sharess’s Sundries 10,804 words. Working out the kinks (gags, strap-ons and spankings…) with Rolan, as he explores his submissive fantasies and after a non-zero amount of prodding finally tells you (Tav) what he wants. (Complete)

Laced Close 4,569 words. Inspired by all the wonderful Rolan corset art on Tumblr! A trip to Figaro’s results in some kinky tight-lacing and a very flustered Rolan manning the counter at Sorcerous Sundries. (Complete)

Combat Training 7,572 words. Sometimes the only way to get Rolan to talk about his feelings is to pin him down and threaten him with a good time. After a lot of playfighting, of course. (Complete)

Along the Chionthar 6,654 words. A wedding, a honeymoon, and… watersports. Lots of watersports. (Complete)

Planar Tears (Rolan x OFC (Catrin), E rated, Third Person - Rolan’s POV)

Planar Tears 78,890 words. Isekai romance about an NHS doctor from our plane dragged into Rolan’s, when he casts a spell far beyond his capabilities. There’s no other option than to bring Catrin to Baldur’s Gate with them, hoping Lorroakan can send her back - but getting there involves almost insurmountable danger. And as Rolan’s feelings grow, could he ever ask her to stay? (WIP, 26/40)

In Service of Magic (Rolan x OFC (Phaere), E Rated, Third Person, Royal/Concubine Femdom AU)

In Service of Magic 20,320 words. Rolan has long cherished the dream of being the one to break Queen Phaere’s curse. For her incredible magic library, of course - although her preference for male submission is secretly rather enticing. A shame that his arrogant tongue has already made him enemies in court… (WIP, 5/25)

Fast Times in Faerûn Series (Rolan x OFC (Lennie), E Rated, Third Person, 80s Camp Counsellor AU)

Short Shorts (And Cold Beer) 2,597 words. Lennie has had enough of Rolan’s shirking ways. When she finally confronts him over it, things get a little more heated than expected. (Complete)

Other

As You Wish (Rolan x GN Reader, E Rated) 2,441 words. Rolan wishes to be your obedient service sub… and you take full advantage. (Complete)

Bunchflower and Leeblossoms (Rolan x GN Tav, T Rated) 3,127 words. Rolan wishes to learn Druidic magic, and Tav is very happy to help. More than flowers bloom. (Complete)

Nailed (Rolan x F! Tav, E Rated) 2,003 words. It's hard to get a strap in the Shadow Cursed Lands. Luckily, though, Tav has her trusty warhammer - and its nice, thick handle is just the right size to blow Rolan's mind. (prompted by barbwillbrb <3) (Complete)

Other Stuff!

Sharp Teeth Rolan portrait, commissioned from luinen-bluewater <3

18th Century Rolan feat. ripped stockings, commissioned from orangekittyenergy <3

Phaere x Rolan Portrait commissioned from Goromimii <3

Steel Weave Tav spanking Rolan, commissioned from Viv/HoldingTwoPens <3

Nailed illustration by Viv/HoldingTwoPens! <3

Catrin choking Rolan gifted by darkurgetrash <3

Steel Weave Tav Backstory Bash.

Rolan, Cal and Lia backstory headcanon

Claws Out! (goofy lil Tara & Astarion fluff, there might be more in future if I’m feeling silly)

Rolan NSFW Alphabet

Rolan Finds Tav’s Sketchbook prompt, GN Tav

Steelweave Tav x Rolan “Ship in 5 Minutes”

Ballet AU Rolan drabble

Fae Bindings Rolan x Fae series: 1 2

Talk to me!

I love getting tagged in things, and getting asks. If you want to know why I wrote something a certain way, prompt some Rolan filth, or just want to kick your feet about Rolan together (my number one activity), my ask box is open ✨ or y’know, ask what I had for breakfast. I’ll answer that too lmao.

LIMITS: Request/ask rules. In case it’s not absolutely obvious, I’m here for subby Rolan only! [PROMPTS TEMPORARILY CLOSED - chatty asks only!]

If you ever do fan art for my characters or fics, I’d love to see it! <3

generally #cabbage writes and #cabbage answers are where the fun stuff lies on this blog! Or #cabbage trash for some filth ;)

And, as always, there’s much more Rolan writing to come.

[xreaderbooks]

The Shadows of Our Love

Chapter 1 | In the Shadows of Return

Sebastian Sallow x Slytherin! reader

Summary: Y/n L/n is back at Hogwarts for her fifth year, left with an insurmountable amount of guilt, trauma, and ancient magic that she has lost control of over the summer; she must learn how to overcome her internal battle while also fighting a new one this year. With talk of a high society group called Death Eaters; Y/n must once again find the strength to fight for the wizarding world and confront her love for Sebastian Sallow.

Warnings: language, mentions of death, and trauma

Word Count: 2.2k

Also available on Wattpad and AO3

a/n: If anyone would like to be tagged send me a message or leave a comment, I'd also love to read your thoughts so any messages or comments are welcome

Series Masterlist - Navigation - Chapter 2

Taking the train to Hogwarts was a surreal experience for you considering how you got there in your fifth year. You were able to take in the view that all your friends raved about- the mountains, the lakes, the trees. You sat with Garreth Weasley and his group of Gryffindor friends which earned you odd stares from Imelda Smelding and her friends.

You spent your entire summer with Garreth and his family, his aunt, Professor Weasley was kind enough to take you in for the summer and your friendship with Garreth had grown in the time you spent with him. You weren’t about to ditch him because of the silly house rivalries between Slytherin and Gryffindor when he asked if you wanted to sit with him on the train. He was goofy and immature yet he could be sweet and caring in the most uncommon of ways that you didn’t mind his company.

In fact, his spirit helped lift up yours on the days when the exhaustion of sleepless nights due to nightmares and insomnia would get to you. You were the Hero of Hogwarts and it came at a cost. Post-traumatic stress had gotten to you more often than not and you had no one to share it with. Your mentor who had been there from the beginning, Professor Fig, is dead.

His death haunted you still, nobody would understand the price of your ancient magic, you felt it burn within you now. Your emotions being a trigger for a blast of your power, throughout the summer you learned to control it, Garreth had even concocted a potion (that to your surprise worked successfully) to dull your power.

“You would have loved the boat ride to Hogwarts, Y/n/n,” Garreth brought you out of your thoughts.

“So I keep hearing,” You gave him a small smile.

“Only because it’s literally the most magical experience you’ll have at Hogwarts.”

You lifted a brow at him, “One would think the most magical experience I'd have at Hogwarts would be the actual magic.”

His laugh echoed through his friends who didn’t seem to mind your presence in their compartment. Leander Prewitt, who flirted shamelessly with you despite the fact that you bested him at whatever task he challenges you to.

Nellie Ogspire who is actually a mutual friend, dueled against you in crossed wands and informed you of the Daedalian Keys that fly around school opening cabinets that contained tokens that opened your house chest.

“You know what else is a magical experience-” Leander spoke.

Nellie stopped him before he could continue to say something atrocious, “Absolutely not. Nobody wants to know, we have plenty of better magical experiences, Prewitt.”

Leander crossed his arm and slumped into his seat, “Whatever.”

You smiled to yourself as you gazed out the window, recognizing all the places you’ve traveled and longing for all the ones you haven’t yet. You’ve been all across this side of the wizarding world, visiting hamlets, helping the helpless, saving defenseless animals, and raiding camps of loyalists and Ashwinders. Some on your own and others with your friends who you couldn’t wait to see.

Natsai- Nattys mom insisted they travel to Hogwarts together, their own way, she told you in the last letter she wrote to you right before summer ended.

You couldn’t find Poppy at the platform, You and Imelda were more respectful competitive housemates/acquaintances than friends who would sit in the same compartment, and you weren’t sure if Ominis would want to sit with you.

As far as you knew, you left off as friends, he sent you cordial letters over the summer, twice maybe three times a month just filling each other in so that you’re not complete strangers. It was a safer bet to stick with Garreth.

One person you secretly hoped you would see at the train station was Sebastian.

Sebastian Sallow.

The boy who was never up to any good, who taught you forbidden spells, who would go to the ends of the earth to save the people he loves. The boy who made your heart race faster than the fluttering wings of a fairy. Your year at Hogwarts was adventurous with all that you were up to on your own, but doing it with him- you felt like you could be with him for the rest of your life and never get bored.

He sent you one singular letter at the beginning of the summer, and that was only because you had sent him one first.

Dear Y/n,

Hope all is well, I was glad to receive word from you after your final battle with Ranrok. You are a hero as I always knew you were. I’m pleased to have contributed in whatever small part I might have played to your success.

To answer your question, I am as decent as I can be considering all that has passed. I have not received word from Anne since the incident, I can only hope she will reach out to me in the coming months. For now, due to your mercy, I shall pick up the remaining pieces here in Feldcroft.

Gratefully yours,

Sebastian Sallow

—

The Great Hall was bustling with students both new and returning. It was almost impossible to hear a person talking directly to you with how loud everyone's conversations were, it was a bit overstimulating, and luckily your mind was too preoccupied with searching for the familiar faces of your friends.

You withstood stares of awe and whispers as you passed, people didn’t shy away from pointing at you. It didn’t help your nerves but you had gotten accustomed to it from being the new girl going into Hogwarts fifth year.

“Natty!” You waved to your friend who was nodding along with what her mother was telling her. She made haste, when she was able to escape her mother's grasp, to where you stood by the fireplace next to the Slytherin table.

She gave you a wide smile, “Y/n, it is good to see you, my friend.”

“It is amazing to see you!” You let out a breath of relief, you felt as if you could finally relax. You held onto both of her hands as you said “Your mother is never separating us again.”

She laughed, “You speak too soon. I foresee many letters exchanged in our future.”

“Shh- don’t say that, it may come true,” You scold her playfully.

The sound of a utensil clinging against a golden chalice told you both that it was time for everyone to settle down.

“We’ll see each other in class,” You say giving her shoulder one last squeeze as you give her a hug.

You rush to the nearest empty spot, a fourth-year girl and another empty spot to your right. You settle down with your anxiety still on high, you noticed the familiar blonde hair and full grey eyes sitting across from you.

“Ominis, Hello.”

“Y/n?” His tone was confused.

“Oh, so it’s great to see you!” You mentally slapped yourself for the poor choice of words.

He speaks dryly, “I can feel your energy from here L/n, it would be best if you calm your enthusiasm, though I must admit it is nice to hear your voice.”

“My voice?” A deep resounding tune filled your ears, in the three months without him you can hear how much he’s grown. “How flattering Gaunt, I can’t say it is unexpected-”

He plants himself in the seat to your right and your heart stutters.

Your head slowly turns in his direction, and your eyes slightly widen. He glances at you once and does a double-take.

“Y/n?”

“Hello Sebastian,” You swallow your feelings at seeing him now. His features have matured, no longer baby-faced. His cheeks have defined, his jaw sharper, hazel eyes lighter, hair grown in an attractive way you didn’t know how to describe. He definitely grew taller, shoulders broadened.

You didn’t know how to react to his looks now, you had always found him attractive, from the moment you met him; his way with words, his charisma, had you in the palm of his hand. You couldn’t look at him now with that one glance, you were sure to melt.

There was no time for any other words to be exchanged as Professor Black began his introduction ceremony, sorting the first years, and beginning the feast.

The food appeared and you filled your plate, ignoring the very apparent presence next to you. He appeared to be doing the same. Ominis spoke to him and he would respond, he would converse with you, but you and Sebastian never asked each other a single question in the full-hour talk with Ominis.

“You never described how it was to live with Weasley, Y/n,” Ominis tilted his head at you.

Sebastian's fork stabbed his chicken a little too hard, it scraped the plate, making a short screech.

You side-eyed his plate and refocused on the question the girl who sat diagonal to you on Ominis’ left asked. Imelda had a quirk on her brow, and a smirk on her lips, she questioned you loud enough for the other fellow Slytherins to hear.

“Fraternizing with the enemy,” She tsked. “Didn’t take Slytherins own hero as a traitor.”

“Didn’t know the rivalry extended to after school,” You looked unbothered. “Summer with the Weasleys was fun, you should try it sometime Imelda. You know, having fun? It could loosen the broomstick up your ass.”

You took a bite of your food, and the brunette beside you coughed up a lung, even Ominis hid his chuckle behind a fist as the girl you had insulted was red-faced and sitting next to him. Imelda's friend let out their own giggles or show of amusement while Imelda glared at them.

The rest of the feast had calmed down after you had shut her down, you had survived. Sebastian wasted no time getting out of his seat, saying his ‘I’ll see you later’ to Ominis and exiting the Great Hall as it was official the feast was over.

You decided to stay behind and chat with Ominis instead of following his lead and leaving once you were finished with your food.

“Have you spoken with him?” Ominis asked you, keeping pace as he walked with you to the Slytherin common room.

“I sent him one letter at the beginning of the summer, he responded and that was that.”

“Hm, odd.”

“How odd?”

You climbed the steps in the grand pillar where all the portraits were placed.

“Just odd,” Ominis said simply. “He was very fond of you last year, It wasn’t presumed that he would discard your friendship with how much he valued you last year.”

Discard me? You thought.

“I didn’t think he discarded our friendship Ominis, I believe he just needed some space.”

“Forgive me, Y/n, I didn’t mean it like that-”

You cut him off, “No, no. I know how it seems and eventually he and I will have to discuss all that happened last year, tonight just isn’t the night.”

You and Ominis along with your other fellow Slytherins, shuffled into the common room, settling into the dorms. You opened the door to find three other girls in the room already, all of whom you were familiar with in some way.

Violet McDowell, you had her in Potions and Herbology last year, Grace Pinch-Smedley who you had helped retrieve her family’s astrolabe from the black lake, and Imelda, who huffed and continued her unpacking. It was clear she was still upset, you smiled at the other two girls.

Violet gave you a nod, she was always a quiet one and Grace greeted you with a bright smile of her own.

—

2 hours into lights out and you were still tossing and turning, your eyes would not shut no matter what you did, and you had half a mind to sneak into Professor Sharps' closet and steal a sleeping draught. You sighed and shoved the covers away, sliding on your slippers and going down the steps to the common room.

You wrapped the string to tie your robe together in case there were people still up.

Surprisingly it was empty, not a single soul in sight. The fire crackling was the only sound to be heard. Memories of the past flashed through your mind.

A year ago today was the first day at Hogwarts, already full of adventure, watching a person you just met get killed by a dragon. The thestrals appeared after being invisible the whole time and you already knew. Going into Gringotts, fighting off statues, learning you have traces of ancient magic in your blood, and surviving the attack from Ranrok by an inch.

Yet, the thought of going into the common room the morning after and facing your fellow students who had been studying at Hogwarts since they were 11, was more frightening. You had already come into the school being the first person who had been accepted into Hogwarts as a fifth year, having to catch up with people who had the knowledge you were just learning, then coming into the first-year sorting ceremony late because of the dragon incident that everyone somehow knew about.

This school year was sure to be interesting, you thought to yourself.

The first person you saw was Sebastian, pacing in front of the fireplace with a book in hand. He introduced himself kindly, his dimpled smile had your heart before you knew it.

And it was gone just like that.

~~~

Chapter 2

taglist:

[sunshine-in-a-bottle]

hello, suds :D

i come with six ships for the shipping bingo card (pick and choose which ones you want to do): c!dreamnoblade, c!dreamza, c!awesamdrunz, c!aswesamdream, c!awesampunz, c!drunz (for the first two you can also use the bingo card from here (https://www.tumblr.com/sunshine-in-a-bottle/764332055865835520)

I am frothing at the mouth. God you are being so nice to me right now and letting me be insane. I appreciate you so much.

DNB^. I did both because of course I did. I love your template I Needed To Use It.

DNB obviously got a lot more for the second bingo than the first because they are objectively the healthiest possible pairing you can get here. Look at them. Theyre perfect for each other. Theyre narrative foils, theyre parallels going in opposite directions but forever side by side in their path. It would have to be a very specific universe for them to even BEGIN to be able to make each other worse.

I know because of the way things worked it couldn't be called something canon, but in a world where the DSMP was made in a different medium, DNB would have been an excellent endgame for both of their characters. It maximizes their healing. They both get to be understood at a fundamental level, and seek comfort that they just wouldn't be able to get from other people.

Techno gets to take care of someone who really needs that care, someone who laughs at his jokes and finds him funny, someone who is rewarding to try and make laugh, because god knows Dream tries so hard to be insurmountable. Dream gets that personal attention he so desperately needs without being enabled or placated, or shut down for expressing clear boundaries. Literally my only gripe with the pairing is that its so healthy that I can't go batshit insane about problematic behavior like I like to do.

But honestly the yearning can be so intense that it makes up for anything else. My god can these two yearn, quietly but intently.

Dreamza^. By god this is the greatest crack rarepair to have ever existed in the history of ever.

Its so incredibly unlikely to happen just because of how canon went, but they have so much hidden potential as both a character study and for Shenanigans. They're both admins. They meet for the first time because Philza broke into Dream's server. Philza's son has made Dream's life miserable. Dream is like a younger version of Philza in all the confidence and control and burgeoning power that leaves Philza with both a sense of deja vu but also makes him feel like he's back in the old days, when things were a little less complicated. Dream is reckless and has no self preservation, but even if he has the skill to back it up, Philza still can't help but want to watch his back. Dream's trust is fragile and intense and hard-earned, and doesn't it feel good to earn it? To see this silly young man who endures the world feel safe to reach out a hand to Philza and let Philza take it?

Also the AU concept of Dream being an insane coder with no training VS Philza who actually knows what he's doing and is fascinated and horrified by how Dream runs the server is funny, okay?

Also Kristen can watch them fuck, no notes.

^Awesamdrunz. Listen. Listen. I experience mental illness. I'm going directly to super hell. There's so many things wrong with them, and with anyone else this would go terribly but somehow they make it work. This is somehow the healthiest relationship they could achieve. They can make each other so much worse in some ways (excusing each others crimes) but they could also make each other so much better in others (Dream heals, Sam is redeemed, Punz feels less alone.) I read 100 fics about them and they were all my own. I too want to be an evil necromancer who is consistently loafed on and gets self care.

I didn't mark "I wish more people would ship them" because honestly I'm pretty content with the amount of people who do ship them already. This ship is one part porn, one part crack, one part angst, and three parts kidnapping, I'm not expecting everyone in the fandom to turn around and go THERE IT IS. THE SHIP OF ALL TIME when its such a specific flavor of insanity and doesn't have a ton of canon merit. I like being able to bother my friends about it, and everyone who wants to sit with me on tumblr and ao3 and rotate it with me is nice and good. This feels comfortable.

^Awesamdream. I had to take a break from writing this and came back wondering "why didn't I put that they were perfect for each other." maybe it was for Torture in Prison reasons??? Maybe I was thinking about how they aren't a ship that is perfect in a healthy sort of way, theyre both so mentally ill about each other from prison after all, and Sam's control issues don't naturally blend with Dream's control issues.

But I kind of don't mind that they aren't perfect for each other? I don't think they need to fit like a glove, weaving in and out of each other and completely complimenting the other. Their hands don't fit perfectly- if its post prison, especially, since Dream's lacking a couple fingers- and Dream steps on Sam's feet when they dance. But it feels good to write them a little messy, a little fucked up, but still able to Be Good to each other, Sam towards Dream especially. Not healthy, but happy.

(admittedly, I had to write them like that myself for the most part when I first joined the fandom. Most of what Awesamdream was at the time was torture porn and angst, because YKnow, Prison, but I really wanted to explore them Being Happy and wasn't sure where to start. I'm really grateful for the dreblr discord server for giving me a place to write a lot of my early fics for them.)

^SamPunz. Do you understand how delightful these two are? Do you understand The Vibes that they give when they're together. Listen I'm rapidly running out of braincells but I love to imagine just. In the CKAU the way that Punz fundamentally changes Sam for the better by forcibly instilling boundaries that Dream can't instill on his own.

The way that Punz is so misanthropic, so distrusting of people and so angry at the world and at Sam for what he did. Punz isn't sure they want to believe Sam's capable of change, because in their mind it would be so much easier to kill him and be done with it.

But Dream wants and hopes that Sam can be better if they just try, so Punz is forced to Not Kill As A First Solution. Punz is forced to deal with the an absolute travesty of a creeper. Punz goes from "humanity can't be saved lets kill the server and everything on it and becomes gods" to "actually people might be able to change and become better. I don't like having feelings about this. I don't like having to reckon with my own humanity. Goddamn it Sam."

Listen I'm just rotating Punz pushing Sam against the wall, holding the Communication Knife to his throat, and threatening him. Sam is trying very hard not to find this extremely attractive. He is failing.

I need them to fuck.

[tonguetiedraven]

hello, I've never written a request before and idk of you are still taking them but if yes bon x rin but the class is oblivious to them dating or thinks it's a prank something along those lines. Thank you

I got terribly behind on these and entirely distracted with longer Blue Exorcist requests, but I am finally trying to respond to all of these, lol.

Sorry for the delay, but I hope you enjoy this silly fic ^^

Yukio’s class was full of idiots.

While that might not quite be fair, it certainly felt that way as he watched his students and friends all just… just not notice. They were all attempting to become licensed exorcists and that meant they’d need to notice things other people didn’t, but at the moment, they all seemed to have lost their observation skills.

This was at least the fifth time Rin had come in with Ryuuji’s sweater. It was obviously Ryuuji’s because the thing was much too big and practically a dress on Rin. 

Ryuuji had even blushed at the sight of it. While Ryuuji blushing wasn’t exactly unusual, the tall and buff punk was an easily embarrassed punk, it was unusual to see that blush accompanied by a small smile. 

Ryuuji had a resting glare. There was no getting around that. He was rather a good natured punk, but he certainly looked like a murderous one. To see him purposefully smile over a sweater was all the information that Yukio had needed.

It seemed nowhere near enough for the rest. The next blatant piece of evidence was the new earring. It was a lot like his other spiral, but it was white this time, and flared out more. It was unmistakably similar to Rin's tail, which meant Ryuuji had one for both halves of Rin. 

It was hilariously sappy for such a grumpy looking punk and no one noticed. 

There were the shared lunches, the whispered conversations, the note passing, the fact that Rin stuck around to the end of class to leave with Ryuuji, the stolen glances—hardly new, but far more blatant now—and Yukio had even caught them coming into class holding hands.

There was an insurmountable amount of evidence. A glutton of it really, and none of his students seem to notice a damned thing.

It would be depressing, if it wasn't so damn funny. Yukio had always been a fan of slapstick, and this felt like at least a variation of that. He had watched the two be oblivious to their feelings, watch them come to a realization of them, and to his relief, do something about them.

He seemed to be the only one who had watched any of it. It would make him question his own over interest in the subject, but really, it had been impossible to miss. Even if he didn't live with half of the couple.

It was the sweater today, and he decided to do a bit of his own test. He wanted to see if he could make the others notice. He was certain his twin and Ryuuji weren't actually trying to hide anything. He was certain they thought everyone was aware. They would have at least been mildly subtle if they hadn't wanted the information out there. They were, despite their loud personalities, occasionally capable of subtlety. If not exactly talented liars. (Which neither of them were at all.)

"No need to sit down, Rin. Sit with Ryuuji. We're doing group assignments today."

The swish of Rin's wagging tail was immediately audible. And once again, Ryuuji blushed.

No one seemed to take any notice of that. Yukio mentally added another homework assignment for them. He'd get with Light on finding them a few cursed objects to fight. They'd force his students to observe.

Ryuuji shifted his arm so his hand could be along the edge of Rin's desk. Rin didn't waste a second before hooking their pinkies together.

Yukio could forgive them not noticing that, if Konekomaru didn't sit next to Ryuuji.

It was baffling to him. Rin’s tail had even looped itself around to rest on Ryuuji’s knee! They were obvious. 

Yukio, staring for a moment, decided to mentally wave goodbye to his lesson plan for the day. He was going to make them notice by the end of this class. Somehow.

Smiling a bit, Yukio pulled open his desk drawer and drew out his set of keys.

“Everyone line up at the front in  your groups. We’re going to be doing some active training today. It’ll get a bit hot.”

It would as soon as Yukio figured out a plan. He just needed Rin to take that sweater off and draw attention to it.

Sure enough, his words had Rin standing up with a flirty grin at Ryuuji before he was taking off the sweater and setting it on his borrowed desk.

Renzou and Izumo watched the motion, but neither seemed to notice. 

That was fine, Yukio could up the ante.

— — ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) — —

Yukio, as always, underestimated his class.  They often exceeded his expectations in astounding ways, but just as often…

They did not. 

The couple held hands on the way to the gym, but they were always shoulder to shoulder and had been before they got together, so he could probably excuse that. He wouldn’t, but he could. 

Ryuuji shed his own sweater at the gym, and Rin stared hard and long enough that Yukio was pretty sure he was going to find his twin had drooled. He would not blame Rin for that because Ryuuji did make an impressive sight, but it was a sight that had been hanging around their dorm a lot.

Besides, no one else noticed the additional and blatant staring, or the fact that Ryuuji was purposefully flexing and stretching and making an entire show of it. 

Shiemi was staring with wide-eyes at him like she wanted to know how he’d done it, and that was hilarious, but no one else was noticing that either. 

Yukio decided to start with trust falls, something they’d never done and felt a little heavy handed to him, but it led to way too many looks and lingering touches and blatant gropes. They spent way too much time on the fall part and the staying fallen, and it was all blatant and obvious and downright brazen. 

There was also a lack of noticing, so Yukio called them to the front to perform.

Ryuuji fell back towards Rin with less hesitation than even Yukio would have, and Rin caught him with one arm before swooping around in a move that looked entirely like he intended to plant one on Ryuuji. He stopped at the last moment before he could, but it was enough to have Ryuuji blushing and Yukio looking at his audience, only to once again find none of them the wiser.

Fine. To the garden they went. 

The bai suzhen was hiding somewhere among the flowers, and if her beeline to Ryuuji and Rin did not prove to the others that something was happening, he was going to quit. 

He turned his attention from them for a few moments, picking through the chrysanthemums, peonies, and sunflowers, until he found evidence of her nest, and then he shooed her out and hurried towards the others, only to find Ryuuji tucking a flower behind Rin’s ear with a murmur of words that had Rin entirely pink and his tail wagging in a dangerous way for anyone who stepped into the smacking zone. He was going to give himself Happy Tail Syndrome at this rate.

“Over here!” He called, and got their attentions. Rin snagged Ryuuji’s hand and pulled him forward, and didn’t let go.

“We are going up against a bai suzhen,” he explained. “They are drawn to romantic love, lust, and displays of romantic or sexual affection—”

“Rip Shima,” Izumo huffed, not seeming to notice Rin and Ryuuji both glance at each other and step a bit closer.

“Their bite is poisonous and they’ll go after half the pair or a member of the group to try and distract/dismay the lover.”

Ryuuji’s hand shot up. The one that wasn’t holding Rin’s.

“Suguro?” Yukio politely asked.

“Is there a way to keep their attention so they don’t?”

Rin growled a little at the implication in that question that Ryuuji would be drawing the attention. They were both ridiculous and Ryuuji wondered how they didn’t drive eachother crazy. 

“Be the more obviously in love party? They’re susceptible to trapping circles and stilling spells, if you’re quick.”

Ryuuji nodded determinedly. 

A hiss let him know the demon had arrived, and he stepped back to watch the chaos.

To his surprise, Rin turned around, grabbed Ryuuji’s tie, hauled the tall teen down by it, and planted a hard kiss to his lips that had Konekomaru squeaking in shock and Ryuuji’s hands spasming at his sides. The demoness shrieked, and lunged for Rin.

Yukio gave a small cheer, only to realize Konekomaru had been squeaking at the demon.

None of them had noticed the kiss.

Ryuuji shoved Rin out of the way, getting himself tackled for the motion, and the two of them started to wrestle in the grass as Konekomaru hastily erected a shield to cover all three of them.

Izumo shrieked, apparently not a fan of snakes, and Shiemi had Nee spring forward, growing a bushel worth of lovage to try and attract the demon. 

It didn’t. Rin and Ryuuji were making a valiant display of love, even if no one recognized it. She didn’t have to attack anyone to be feeding. 

“Shima!” Konekomaru barked, “khakkhara!”

Shima yelped and brought out his khakkhara, never seeming to remember to have it at the ready, and took a swipe at the white snake with the staff. Yamantaka’s black smoke began to pour out, clashing against the brightness of her scaly skin.

Rin and Ryuuji seemed to both realize that they were missing their chance to exorcise or stop the demon, and shoved at each other to get up, still fighting to get in front of the other.

It seemed like Rin had forgotten that he didn’t have to move at all with his flames. Yukio would be making him do drills later.

Yamantaka knocked her out, and she transformed back to her humanoid form as she lost consciousness, making Shima squeak and promptly drool in delight. Yukio clapped his hands again to draw their attention before he had to catch the teen for being a pervert.

“Was that it?” Izumo asked, crossing her arms over her chest and tossing her hair like she hadn’t spent the entire fight terrified of the snake.

Yukio’s eye twitched. 

“No! That was not it. All of you fail. Not one of you notices anything and I cannot believe it and frankly, I am out of ideas and patience.”

Everyone looked confused, which seemed to be their default because they were all clearly incapable of noticing details.

“What?!” Izumo demanded while Ryuuji made an entirely worried noise and Rin looked baffled. 

“You fail all observation skills. Rin, Suguro, why did it go after the two of you?”

Ryuuji looked to Rin and raised an eyebrow. “Because he kissed me?”

All heads turned towards them with obvious and frustrating surprise. 

“What?” Izumo asked again while Shima added a, “for real? You finally did it, Rin?”

Yukio valiantly resisted the urge to shriek. “Finally?! They’ve been dating for months!” 

They were all looking at him now, but he could see Rin and Ryuuji starting to realize the obvious.

“You’re kidding, right?” Shima asked, earning a surprised sort of choke from Rin. 

“Of course he’s not!” Ryuuji looked entirely indignant. Yukio hadn’t even noticed him grabbing Rin’s hand again. “We’ve been together for almost three months.”

“Since when?!”

Rin gaped at Izumo. “Since Ryuuji asked me out after the golem.” 

“That long?” Shiemi asked, looking floored. Nee clapped and sent a few flower petals through the air like confetti. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Konekomaru demanded.

“How did you get a boyfriend before I did?!” Shima whined.

“Didn’t—we did!” Rin huffed and jabbed his finger forward. “The day after it happened!”

“We hold hounds!”

“We go on dates!”

“He makes me bentos almost every day!”

“We flirt—”

“All the time.” Yukio interjected, feeling vindicated and tired. 

“—All the time,” Rin agreed before scowling. “We do not!”

“So fail,” Yukio reiterated to the rest of them. “Class dismissed and for god's sake, stop flirting in my classes.” 

 With that, he strode (stomped) away, leaving the others spluttering and asking questions, and feeling like he hadn’t proven much other than that his class was fantastically dense.

He wondered how long it would be before they noticed the other bai suzhen slowly slithering closer. 

He wasn’t going to point it out. They had to eventually learn to spot the obvious.

[springfelt]

       ˳ ꒰ starter delivery for @charmfox !

ʚ ˚      “   have   i   ever   told   you   that   you're   my   favorite   person   in   the   world   ?   ”   sweetly   drawls,   arm   loosely   entangling   with   others   in   persuasive   attempt   of   affection.   her   penchant   for   beating   around   the   bush   when   asking   for   favors   rearing   its   ugly   head   upon   first   greeting.   darling   smile   settled   upon   lips   meant   to   heighten   the   insurmountable   amount   of   cuteness   she   had   at   her   disposal   if   aeri   proved   immune   to   silly   tactics.   “   and   as   my   favorite   person,   wouldn't   it   be   fun   if   you   taught   me   how   to   play   some   arcade   games   ?   i   want   to   impress   someone.   ”

[rainhalydia]

Murder, tax fraud - take 2

I've posted a bit of this before, but I've retouched the part posted a bit since, so I'm posting what will amount to a first chapter at once here. Just finished writing this silliness literally this minute after MONTHS of nothing, so I'm very happy. Will probably post on Ao3 once I've edited it a bit.

Behold, Minshan and Wangji's modern AU sexcapade:

The Jianghu is located on a three-store building, the front a refined affair of muted colors and understated refinement. The reception area is more four generation law firm than gym. There is not a whiff of sweat in the air or grease stains anywhere. Even with coming here for a year already, Su Minshan is still shocked at… well, everything about it. These days, he makes an effort to hide his awe. He knows better than to show any appreciation for what others take for granted.

Old money does things differently. He has his own gym equipment at home – weights, mats, treadmill, an ergonomic bike when he feels like taking in some fresh air – but as with everything else, coming here is not about exercising. It’s about seeing and being seen. Networking. Casual conversation in the hallways. Someone vaguely remembering your face when you cross paths on an actual business setting, and that faint recognition landing you an advantage, however small. Things that don’t come naturally to Su Minshan, which makes every small step forwards all that more crucial.

A part of him still scoffs at such a thing as an exclusive gym. He would have thought the price would be the only real barrier, an invisible but almost insurmountable deterrent, but the elite can’t have any contact with the riff-raff, not for anything as mundane as cardio or weight training. It took bribing and favors to get an invite here. When it finally arrived, it came in a golden-trimmed scroll, a password written in perfect calligraphy. So expensive Su Minshan almost felt unworthy of touching it.

He knows he is worthy of it all. He has actually worked for all he has, earned his good fortune and success. He deserves it much more than the plethora of heirs and trophy wives here, it’s an objective fact. And yet, he always feels out of place among these people who should be his peers, their silence judgment or indifference weighting on him more than the barbell he’s lifting dutifully.

The feeling increases tenfold the day Lan Wangji walks through the door.

He turns heads as he passes, as it’s to be expected. His face is perfect, even more so than in his teen years, for not even that peerless beauty had escaped a few pimples. He’s filled out too, adolescent lankness replaced by bulging muscle. If the world was fair, Minshan would say Lan Wangji had been through at least a few lipo to attain such a completely sculpted shape. As it is, he can believe he is all natural.

Of course he doesn’t notice Su Minshan. Unlike the nightmare hall monitor, virtuoso musician, star athlete that helped parents shatter the confidence of all Chinese-American kids in school, Su Minshan had been a nobody. He studied hard, got good grades, and tried his best at extracurriculars, but nothing that could grab the attention of Lan Wangki, much less amount to something like a proper rival for him.

Still, something in him burns seeing his old one-sided nemesis walk by, long shiny hair flowing behind him like he carries his own portable, invisible wind-machine for a shampoo ad effect everywhere. It would be less humiliating if he had an actual wind-machine on him. Then Minshan’s own hair, plastered to his nape, wouldn’t be so offensive.

Before he can talk himself out of it, he positions himself next to Lan Wangji and watches, arms crossed, as he goes through a series on the bench press. Three repetitions of forty, three plates each side. No spotter.

He doesn’t wait for Lan Wangji to wipe away the sweat or put away the weights. He barely waits for Lan Wangji to vacate the bench. As soon as the man is up, Su Minshan takes his place.

He can bench six plates just fine, though usually with less repetitions. It doesn’t matter now. He copies Lan Wangji’s series, arms straining under the unfamiliar push on top of having done his own training already, and only stops when he has finished the whole thing.

There’s no helping the self-satisfied smirk on his face when he’s done. Take that, Lan Wangji! You’re not the only strong guy here!

The smirk grows when he sees that Lan Wangji has been watching him, as openly as Su Minshan had done.

With a nod, Lan Wangji goes to the next exercise – the abductor. Of course perfect Lan Wangji doesn’t skip leg day. Then, he looks at Su Minshan, making sure he’s watching, and starts his series.

It’s uncomfortable, this time, to watch Lan Wangji open and close his legs. It’s impossible to not notice the bulge in his groin, perfectly tucked in and yet so big that it cannot be hidden; the movements just draw the eye there! And of course Lan Wangji is not only bigger than Su Minshan, but bigger than most porn stars. That tracks with his life.

Still, Su Minshan watches, flustered and angry about it, until Lan Wangji is done. Then he does the same thing as before: jumps on the machine as soon as it’s vacated, repeats the exercise precisely like Lan Wangji did.

They go on like this through what must be Lan Wangji’s full routine, and then some.

At the final exercise, Su Minshan’s leg betrays him. His calf cramps, contracting painfully, and he falls on his ass instead of completing his squat.

He mutters a curse under his breath as he massages the traitorous muscle. Lan Wangji looms over him, undefeated. Nothing new about that, except for the conceited smirk on his lips. Su Minshan sees it as he looks up and almost forgets to be annoyed: barely there, it’s the most expression he’s ever seen on Lan Wangji’s face.

“Shower,” Lan Wangji commands, looking down on him, and turns around, effectively ending their impromptu competition.

Su Minshan splutters a protest, red-faced on all the wall-length mirrors in the room. He watches as Lan Wangji once again commanders all the attention from every eye as he exits, thankfully leaving Minshan to get up and drag himself around, leg still spasming, with some privacy.

A contrarian part of him wants to refuse to retrace Lan Wangji’s steps. Why should he obey him? Who is he to give Su Minshan orders? But he’s not a kid anymore. He’s not about to go home sweaty, disrupting his day even more, to give a figurative middle finger to someone not even looking his direction to see it anymore.

He gives his back a literal middle finger instead.

When he enters the bathroom, Lan Wangji is sat on a bench close to the lockers, a leg crossed over the opposite knee, arms crossed, a shower kit on his lap. Waiting for something. He doesn’t move when Su Minshan enters, nor does he turn his eyes away as Minshan undresses, uncouth and uncaring about it as always.

Su Minshan shoves his dirty clothes in his bag with haste, slipping quickly into a shower stall, feeling inadequate and judged. Maybe he’s not as chiseled as fucking Lan Wangji, but it’s not like he has anything to be ashamed of. Fuck stupid Lan Wangji.

To add insult to injury, the shower refuses to give him any hot water. He gets a violent lukewarm blast to the face and a gush up his nostrils.

Fuck this stupid shower. Fuck this stupid rich people gym.

He’s still coughing when he hears footsteps approaching. Then the stall door opening. He turns around, alarmed, and almost falls on his ass again when he slips on some leftover soap from somebody’s else shower.

Lan Wangji stops his fall by grabbing his forearm.

Casually, like he hasn’t just invaded another guy’s shower, he closes the door behind him. They stand in the spacious cabin, staring at each other, Lan Wangji’s freakishly long fingers around his arm the only point of contact between them. Lan Wangji makes no move to kick him out of his own shower. So, no, despite being completely naked, he’s not here to steal Minshan’s cubicle in some weird power play. Nor could he have miraculously predicted Minshan snapping his neck and decided to interfere to save the gym staff the clean-up; not even perfect Lan Wangji, the next stage of human evolution, has developed that kind of foresight.

Su Minshan is all out of ideas about what is happening.

It dawns on him all at once, though, when Lan Wangji reaches for his cock.

Su Minshan watches, fascinated, as Lan Wangji generously pumps him to half-mast with a soft palm that’s nonetheless dry as fuck. He’s had his own gym hook-ups, of course. He’s cruised before. Never in a million years he’d have acted like he did if he was trying to seduce someone into his pants. But that’s what passes for flirting on Lan Wangji’s mind.

It soon becomes clear that as mind-blowing as that insight into Lan Wangji’s thought process was, it’s also incomplete. Su Minshan watches with a sense of both amusement and doom as the gears clearly go on turning in Lan Wangji’s brain and translate into astonishing actions. Minshan’s lost their competition, true, and that apparently means a two-minute handjob is all he gets before Lan Wangji clearly grows bored with it. His dick is also, absurdly, half-hard despite no touching yet, despite Minshan’s hands lying flat and disinterested at the side of his body. He finds something about this bizarre bathroom adventure enticing despite all odds. Or perhaps he’s that horny behind his mask of indifference.

The cherry on top, Minshan reflects, is that having won their little dispute, Lan Wangji thinks that has entitled him to top. He abandons the useless pursuit of trying to arouse Su Minshan further and presses on his waist to make him turn around. When he doesn’t turn, he slips his hands behind Minshan to knead at his ass and graze fingertips at his hole. It’s a forceful touch, with much more strength than necessary, and yet Minshan hesitates. He could stop this now with a word. He’s no more inclined to like Lan Wangji than he was before entering the strange parallel universe of this shower stall, but the man is objectively hot. Out of Su Minshan’s league entirely, some would say.

In the end he turns, more out of curiosity than anything else.

Lan Wangji, it must be said, is efficient about it. He’s focused. Once he’s inside, he hones in on Su Minshan’s prostrate like a fucking precision missile. He pistons in and out like a man possessed. Like a sex machine.

Mechanical is the exact word that flows gently into Minshan’s mind as he’s plowed into.

The only hiccup is at the start, when Lan Wangji tries to enter him dry, despite the weapon of mass destruction he carries between his legs. Su Minshan has to turn back with a “hey!” and slather his cock with the gym’s expensive soap before he can damage anything. Aside from that, it’s perhaps the most perfectly choreographed quickie Minshan has ever lived through. Perhaps the most perfectly choreographed quickie in the story of all mankind.

Lan Wangji comes inside without asking, like the rude asshole he is. By then, Minshan has long since flagged. He’s counting the drops of water running down the wall tiles for entertainment when it happens: with a stronger thrust, Lan Wangji flattens his hips against his ass checks, going as deep as humanly possible, and groans on Minshan’s ear.

Orgasm makes him generous again. He’s barely pulled out when he reaches a hand around Minshan again to cup his flaccid cock.

“No need,” Minshan says, batting his hand away as he turns around.

Lan Wangji’s face shifts into smugness again, an unfairly good look on him. He clearly thinks that he’s some sex god that made his partner come untouched. It’s possible that that’s even something that happens to him, Minshan thinks; some people are into being used as a sentient fleshlight, and those kind of freaks would be in heaven with Lan Wangji, human jackhammer.

Su Minshan is willing to accept his own share of guilty in this case. His satisfied smile, fixed on his face despite his best efforts since Lan Wangji’s first thrust, is certainly doing nothing to disabuse the man of that impression.

He keeps smiling, somewhat more subdued, as he showers and dresses himself. He smiles as he nods goodbye to Lan Wangji, as he leaves the gym and walks to his car on the parking lot. He even smiles through a wince when he sits on the leather seat, at the reminder of the earlier act.

Lan Wangji is bad at sex. Perfect, unbeatable Lan Wangji who knows no defeat in any area of life, is terrible at sex.

Su Minshan raises a toast with the long-forgotten bottle in the cup-holder before starting his car. The room temperature tap water tastes like victory.

He glows the rest of the day.

[lifemod17]

Reminding you all the existence of this video

So precious 😭

[krookodyke]

fic of tai taking care of van post top surgery?

i’m literally fighting for my life against finals still (HELP ME) and will be until like friday, but oh LAWD that fic is so needed… so i wrote a wee little snippet just for you anon <3 timeline is probably Ummm early 00s no crash? sure let’s go w that. also van uses he/him pronouns & terms in this fic but he’s not on T… jsyk. #DykeRights. please enjoy.

——

“Van, I’m serious. You need to lay down.”

Tai was more than happy to play nurse for Van now just after he got his top surgery, considering the amount of times Van played nurse for her, but it quickly sinks in how much of a saint Van is for doing so in the past for her considering that Tai is infinitely more stubborn than Van is. The amount of times Tai was stopped from going off to school or work or wherever by a freckled arm and a gentle frown with a “you need to get some sleep, lady” was insurmountable, and Van attempting to rise from their bed is driving Tai more than a little cuckoo.

Van stops his ascent from the bed, but doesn’t lay back down until Tai gently pushes him down, to which her boyfriend grumbles. “Tai, I’m going to lose my fucking marbles laying down stiff as board here forever.”

Tai adjusts herself to lay down right next to Van, propping herself up with her arm right next to where the redhead’s hair is splayed out on the pillows. “Doctor’s orders, bozo. Besides, it literally won’t be forever, you’re just being all whiny and dramatic about it.”

Van scoffs, rolling his eyes to look at Tai. “Maybe so. I think I’m allowed, though.”

“Yeah, fucking whatever,” Tai says, flicking Van’s head lightly, causing the redhead to wrinkle his nose before mock-gasping and placing a hand barely on his chest over the bandages.

“I can’t believe you would further injure a poor, poor guy recovering from life-threatening surgery. For shame, Taissa.”

Tai can’t help releasing a bit of a laugh at that— here she was, supposed to be nursing Van back to health and yet her boyfriend was the one slinging silly jokes at her and cracking her up as he always would. Tai was by all means very worried for Van, because, no shit, Sherlock— and here he was acting like it was just another Tuesday for the both of them. And, as such, prioritizing making Taissa smile above everything else.

“Maybe I should tell the doctors not to give you your tits back, then,” Tai quips.

[an-unsolicited-soliloquy]

The consequence of the inconsequential

You look all around you and everyone is racing ahead at breakneck speed. Kevin just got a much-coveted promotion. Sarah's fashion blog is taking off. Mike's new fitness regime really played well on his abs. There is something everyone has that you don't and you can't help but believe you're falling behind, that everybody is doing better than you, and that in the game of life, you've been cheated on by the universe; somehow, you got dealt the suckiest hand to play with. Sound familiar? I'm sure it does. Been there. Am there.

No matter how strongly I decide that I need to start working on myself, I end up falling head-first on this quest for self-improvement; as a pronounced pattern, I would give up even before I began. So many times had this happened, that I was convinced at one point that humans are by nature self-sabotaging. This was before one fine day when the Divine Revelation came to me during a hot shower that there's a chance that this inability to take action and turn my life around stems from my feeling overwhelmed at the sheer number of things I wanted to change about myself. In retrospect, that made sense. Whenever I would discover something new I needed to work on, my first reaction would be something akin to: “Yep, that's about right, sigh. Another brick on the wall, I guess,” — and those bricks stacked up to form towering wall, one that had become too formidable to look at. To go further with that metaphor, crossing that wall and expanding my horizons had become an insurmountable challenge (pun certainly intended).

What came with that knowledge was the painful recognition that I did not like who I was, and that I needed something of the scale of a house-remodel to fix myself. And what did I choose to do with that knowledge? — I drank a glass of water.

I know what you’re thinking, how does that help anything? As silly and as inconsequential as that sounds, it worked! It set the ball rolling, and contrary to the proverbial rolling stone that gathers no moss, small actions aligned in the correct direction snowballs into something massive and positively unstoppable! Let me explain how that works. The first day all that you need to do is drink enough water. This is a simple challenge; sitting next to a bottle of water would do the trick. Every once in a while your attention will be drawn towards it, you’ll be reminded of your agenda, you’ll take a sip. By the end of the day, the odds are hundred is to one that you’ll have drunk more water than you usually do and you’ll feel good about yourself. In comes the beauty of the feedback loop of accomplishment. This minor victory fuels a drive to keep going. Tomorrow, you’ll drink more water and take a ten-minute walk. Day after, you’ll drink more water, take a ten-minute walk and dust off the old gym equipment that hadn’t seen the light of day in many months. Each little step you take would invariably contribute towards the ultimate goal of attaining satisfaction in our being.

Trying to tackle this challenge head-on is setting oneself up for failure. Change doesn’t happen overnight; it takes sweat, labour and it takes its sweet time in coming to you. Instead, breaking it up into smaller sub-goals makes it actionable and each sprint up to the finish line less intimidating, drastically increasing your chances at succeeding. The glass of water is just a placeholder, you could substitute it with any other easily-achievable aims that you have in mind. All that matters is you start small and slowly build momentum to plough through the bigger, more demanding issues on the list. If you stick sincerely to this strategy, there is no force on Earth that could trip you up.

As I conclude this unsolicited soliloquy, there are two things I would want to remind the readers. First, this isn’t a magic formula that solves everything. It would demand a sizeable amount of dedication, effort and energy from you. It is also not fool-proof; there will be hitches along the road, sure as the sun. There will be set-backs, days when you go back to square one, that’s life. Before you start making faces, let me clarify, that’s not such a bad thing. When we operate under that prevision, we’re eliminating the necessity to succeed every single day; we would feel less pressured to perform and less afraid to fail. We would take it for granted that failing was a part of the process and that doesn’t imply we need to start over allowing us the liberty to resume normally next day onwards. Second, it is no lie that starting takes a lot of initiation energy, which is one of the principal reasons why we procrastinate. The metaphorical glass of water masterfully eliminates this problem. It takes little to no effort to do, nor a symbolic dawn, a new beginning. Why wait for the next day, when the next hour, next minute, next second are equally good? Thus, the readers are advised to keep this attribute in mind while picking their substitute for drinking more water (if you can think of nothing else, this itself would do just fine!).

Everyone is capable of change, believe in yourself. Start today, start now! Because the grass is greener where you water it.

[localapparently]

Thinking about him again

I need him to knock me out cold so bad oh my fucking god sir haha ahem hi ahem hellooo sirrrrr so like do you come here often uhhhh heheh eah ehm straightens my tie oops!! I dropped my insurmountable amounts of probability and coins and everything u could possibly need in an apocalypse gosh haha silly meee well uh

/ slight blood cw

AUSDGHASD kim dokja eheheh KIM DOKJA AAA HES SO COOL screams screams screams screams

[emdocwriter]

Hi all. Welcome to the worst day of my life. This eulogy will have two parts, because that’s the only way I can do this. First I’m going to tell you who was my grandfather. Then, I’ll talk to him. Please bear with me.

Grandpa was the best person ever. He always had a kind word and a smile to give to anyone. Even on the worst days. He went through an insurmountable amount of pain growing up. And still came out the other side with a smile on his face, a positive outlook on life, and a heart so full of love it was constantly overflowing (much to the annoyance of my grandmother, the usual target of his excitement and cuteness). When I was 6 years old, I wrote a poem for a school competition. I won by a landslide, honestly. No other 6 year olds were able to rhyme at all. But I had grown up with grandpa. And heard him improvise rhymes daily about how cute grandma looked in her new outfit, how much he loved me, or what a silly goose he was. When my mother first told me about the competition, I remember she asked me what I wanted to write about. I guess most kids said their friends, soccer, soap bubbles, or something equally exciting at that age. My answer was swift and decisive: I want to write about grandpa. I mean, he was already my favorite human anyway. So we started writing. She first asked me what my main rhyme was. And, again, I didn’t hesitate. Turns out, his last name rhymes with the word for Christmas in Portuguese. And so I wrote my first verse: my grandpa Landal is better than Christmas. And I still fully believe that. He was better than Christmas at the age of 6. With Santa, the lights, and all the presents. Little me knew this all along: I’d trade all the celebrations in the world for another day with him. Another conversation, another hug, another nap watching TV. I still would. Every single gift ever, in exchange for his company for one more ice cream cone. Because, and I said in my poem: he’s a great guy. He laughs loudly, he’s always in a good mood. With all of that, he has all of my love. He really did, you know? And that’s why today the Sun shines a little less. Life a little less colorful. My smile is a little heavier. Today’s sunrise took a little longer. Because, if love is what makes the world go round, Earth spins a little slower today. I’m still dizzy. I still feel out of sorts, and a little short of breath. But I guess it’ll always be that way. Talking about him will always break my heart in the best way possible. Because I got to have the best human on the planet, in the best role possible: grandpa and best friend. Yes, Riley Green, I also wish grandpas never died.