#instead ship her with Ron?? A man who loved her with all her heart and was ready to sacrifice his life for her??

[adenei]

Exile

We're back for Era 5 of @cruelsummer-ficfest!

Song: Exile (Folklore)

Ship: Romione

Read on Ao3

His hand tightens around the bottle of Butterbeer he’s suddenly lost the taste for. He knew she’d be here; why wouldn’t she? But he still hoped she wouldn’t show. 

To make matters worse, she walks in with another man. And not just any man, but the one she knows will cut him the deepest: Viktor Krum. The Quidditch star’s hand is splayed across the small of her back and her eyes shine as she glances up at him, laughing at a joke that Ron is sure isn’t funny at all. 

It’s sick and twisted irony at its finest. Two years ago, they were here in this same spot for the same occasion, only now there is no unknown looming in the midst of a full-fledged war. Now, there is no Hermione in his life either. She’d made certain of that.

It didn’t take her long to pack her things and leave for Australia shortly after the war ended. She’d given no explanation, no goodbye. She took everything he thought they’d fought for and left him alone to pick up the pieces.

Maybe it wasn’t love after all.

Memories of Bill and Fleur’s wedding flit through his mind as he watches Vicky lead Hermione to an empty table. His heart aches as he remembers dancing with her; how just for a moment, things felt normal. Just for a moment, he was a teenage boy, drumming up the courage to seek something more with the girl who meant everything to him. Only for it all to be ripped away in the blink of an eye. 

Now, two years later, everyone who survived the war is gathered again for Bill and Fleur’s vow renewal, where there are no threats of danger looming on the horizon. Only the promise of a well-deserved party. 

But try as he might, Ron cannot find it within himself to be happy. She should be here with him. It should be his hand on the small of her back, whispering a joke about how Percy’s too serious or Mum trying—and failing—to cut Bill’s hair again. And her laugh would be real because he knows what she finds funny.

Instead, he stands on the sidelines, shielded by the circle of his brothers and Harry, who are engaged in some other conversation. His eyes never leave her, though she doesn’t notice him at all. 

Maybe, if things were different, he could ask what went wrong. Where the fine line they always walked between friendship and something more snapped. Why she never gave him a chance. Would it have been so hard to hear him out? To give a warning sign that she was leaving?

Though he’s learned to read her well over the years, he never could read her mind. And he couldn’t turn things around. If she’d just given him a warning, he could have fixed things. He could have followed her. 

But war doesn’t care who it fucks up along the way, and Ron and Hermione are perfect examples of that. A lost love that never stood a chance. 

Sometimes, Ron wishes it was him and not Fred. Even death would be better than the life of exile he leads as he sees her now.

💔

From the moment she arrives, she can feel his eyes on her, burning into her skin like Fiendfyre. It’d been a coincidence, arriving seconds before Viktor. But she appreciated his warm smile and kind gestures once he realized she was attending alone. It was the support she needed to get her through those first awkward moments.

Hermione laughs. Not at the lighthearted joke Viktor makes, but at the reaction she elicits from him. Like he’s ready to get his knuckles bloody and stake his claim. Her heart flutters as she sees a glimpse of the Ron she once knew. The Ron she fell in love with before the war sucked the life out of him.

She tried to wait for him. Gave him so many chances to come to her, to open up, to talk. Even to simply cry as she held him and told him it would be okay. Any of that would have been better than the vacant stares she received instead. The shell of a man who’d had so much personality; all washed away from the locket, seeing her tortured, and witnessing death.

The decision to leave him behind had been the hardest yet, even harder than sending her parents away. Deep down, she knew he couldn’t come with her. She’d lost track of how many tears she cried—and still does. One year gone, and she still misses him more than anything. Still yearns for a chance to be something more. He was her crown; she’s empty without him.

💔

Ron and Hermione spend the better part of the evening avoiding each other. No one urges them to seek the other out. Everyone is careful not to speak the other’s name in their presence. It’s only when Ron finds the atmosphere of the tent too suffocating that he steps out into the grounds of the Burrow for a break, and Hermione follows.

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to Vicky?” he says once he settles by the old oak tree near the pond.

She draws a sharp breath in, not realizing he could sense her presence this whole time. “No. It was nice to catch up with him, but he’s not the reason I came tonight.”

“I would hope not.” Hollow laughter catches in Ron’s throat. “Considering this is a celebration for Bill and Fleur.”

“I didn’t come for them either.”

Ron turns and peers at her in the moonlight reflecting off the water. “Then why are you here?”

“For you,” she says simply. 

The words take Ron aback, and his forehead creases as he watches her closely. 

“Why?” he dares. “You left. Why would you come back?”

She steels herself with a deep breath. “I never left for good. And I never wanted to leave you. But you were—I didn’t know how to help you anymore, Ron. You were broken and everything I tried wasn’t helping. I needed to find my parents. I couldn’t delay my search any longer. And I thought maybe some space might help.”

“Then why didn’t you say any of that?” he snaps.

“I tried! I’d ask you to take a walk with me, joined you in your room after dinner. Every time I tried to bring it up you’d say you were tired or excuse yourself or do something else to avoid any hint of emotion that didn’t wrap you in grief!”

He opens his mouth, then closes it. No words come out as he stares in utter disbelief.

“I never intended to be away for over a year, but the search took longer than I thought it would. I barely found them before I had to return for Hogwarts. Maybe I should have been clearer, but I thought you knew. I wasn’t giving up on us, I swear.” Tears fill her eyes. 

His demeanor softens as he pushes himself off of the tree and takes a step toward her. “You tried to tell me?”

She nods. “I gave so many signs.”

“I never saw them.”

They both remain quiet for a while, neither knowing what to say. After a while, Hermione finally dares to speak again. “You seem like you’re doing better.”

“I guess.” Ron shrugs and kicks his toe into the ground. “There’s still something missing, though.”

Hermione reaches out to touch his arm. It’s a risky move, but she does it anyway. “I’m sure there always will be,” she whispers. “You’re missing a brother.”

“What?” Ron looks up. “No, not Fred. I’ve learned to work through that.”

“Lavender, then?”

“No.”

“Then—”

Ron steps forward, cutting her off. “You, Hermione. You’re missing.” His hands find the sides of her face, cupping her tenderly as he guides her gaze to him.

Tears well in her eyes and a few spill down her cheeks from the overflow. “I missed you. I was so worried we wouldn’t be able to move past this.”

“I know. I’m sorry I fucked up.”

“You didn’t. You were hurting. You lost so much.”

They’re so close their foreheads touch. She can feel his hot breath on her skin as her arms wrap around his torso, willing him to close the distance. And he does, but not until he responds first.

“Yeah, but I didn’t lose my ‘everything.’” 

Their lips meet. It’s soft and sweet and full of emotion, but there is no urgency to it. Not like there was during the battle. This kiss is a reconciliation, a step out of exile and into each other’s arms, where they’ve always meant to be.

When they break apart, Ron makes a promise. “I know I couldn’t change things around back then, but I’ll be better now. For us. I can’t lose you too, Hermione.”

“You won’t. I promise you won’t.”

I think I’ve seen this film before

And I didn’t like the ending

So I’m leavin’ out the side door

[thevikingwoman]

May I hear about pirates? The solas/trev? 👀

Thank you, Bear!

this one is another old Solavellan one that I did write a bunch of, and planned and had a whole outline!

I can no longer remember how the idea appeared, but it did, and it was simply Thedas, but make it pirates? The base premise is that Solas gets captured by pirates, and somehow they think he's a good hostage (he's not tho) and they take him with them. There's an immediate attraction between him and the pirate captain.

Ofc; he's not the hapless naturalist civilian he pretends to be, but used to be part of the notorious Evanuris pirates -who betrayed/sold out a bunch of other pirates -with Solas failing to play both sides. He is trying to recover lost treasure, and when he gets captured by Trevelyan and her crew, he tries to modify his plan so they can help him. He didn't account for falling in love with her, of course.

(you can see where the story comes from I hope heh)

I don't think I'll ever complete it, but I did have fun spinning it in my mind. I did initially try to make it work with Iwyn, but it just didn't suit her. She's far to diplomatic and patient for what I wanted, so Veronica Trevelyan was born for this. I don't think this one would work as an original, as the fun thing was putting all the DA stuff into an AU pirate mirror.

some chapter 2 stuff below the cut. Becasue ofc the sexual tension is early in the arch - this is me writing

“How did you end up a pirate anyway, Captain Trevelyan?”

He’s bolder, or drunker, and he asks questions he shouldn’t. After everything, he’s surprised to find a whole pirate crew, and a fairly functioning one at that. There aren’t many elves, but maybe the whole thing was worth it, in the end.

“You know, a sad story.” She drinks and passes the bottle. “Fifth daughter of a governor, barely noticed. Ran after a man, he gave his heart to someone else, but he gave me a ship instead.”

“Sounds like it’s quite a story.”

She shrugs.

“It’s a good life. I have what I need, mostly.”

“Do you miss him. The man who spurned you.”

She laughs, high clear.

“It was a childish infatuation. It wouldn’t have ended well. I mean it did, I suppose, given that I’m here. Hawke’s a good man.”

“Captain Hawke is quite infamous, known to harbor dangerous fugitives. I doubt many would call him a good man.”

She snorts, and drinks, and leans against him.

“They know shit. Dangerous fugitives indeed, like runaway noble women.”

“Are you implying you’re not dangerous?”

She turns to him, and smirks. Her eyes are luminous, and her skin reflects the moonlight, the swell of her breasts indecently exposed by her blouse. He swallows.

“What do you think, Solas?”

Their lips meet, crash, inevitable. She grabs his shirt and pulls him closer, prying his mouth open with her quick nib of teeth and probing tongue. Not that he takes much convincing, answering readily in kind. She tastes of brandy and sea and sweetness.

“I think you’re very dangerous indeed, Captain Trevelyan,” he says, when they finally break apart.

“Call me Ron, Solas.”

[be-a-gay-wizard]

"I ship Dramione!" "I ship Snamione!" "I ship Tomione!"

Y'all really hate Hermione huh

[the-queen-of-black]

The Unorthodox Go-To Harry Potter Fanfiction List

After wasting a large chunk of my life exploring the deep scope of Harry Potter fanfiction, I believe that I finally have enough to compile a credible list of the most intelligible, obscure pieces I’ve read so far. Some are dark; some are absurd; some are sirius. Nothing is ordered in any particular way. 

1. Friends the psychotic house-elf

Multi-chaptered

Genre: horror/tragedy

Status: Incomplete

Warning: Depictions of torture, violence, and rape

Summary:  Instead of making new friends on the Hogwarts Express in 1995, Luna loses the only one she has. In the lonely year that follows, she discovers just how well the name 'Loony Lovegood' fits her. Insane!Luna. Very dark.

I read this a couple of years ago and it still has an impact on me. If you’re interested in psychological horror, then this is the fic for you.The characters are OOC to serve the purpose of the fanfic, and the writing is so developed it almost makes you sick. It’s very compelling but also difficult to read, so viewer discretion is heavily advised. 

2. The Ones Left Behind Sudowoodo

Multi-chaptered 

Genre: Friendship/Romance

Status: Complete 

Summary: Sirius wasn't looking for a new best friend, but James was now spending all his time with his new girlfriend. Sirius was the one left behind, and I was the one he found. And neither of us expected what we found in each other. JamesXLily SiriusXOC

This one's pretty famous, with a total of 788 reviews, but do I believe it rightfully has the amount of attention it deserves? No. For those of you looking for something lighthearted and fun, this takes the cake. I usually don’t like fanfics starring an OC, but Holly Comstock is so beautifully written that it’s hard not to consider her a canon character. The story is woven through philosophical conversations, letters, and a touching, bittersweet ending. 

3. The Changeling Annerb  

Multi-chaptered 

Genre: Drama/Angst

Status: Complete

Summary: Ginny is sorted into Slytherin. It takes her seven to figure out why.

It may be popular, but it is unorthodox. In this fanfic, both the depths of Slytherin and a Slytherin!GinnyWeasley are explored in fascinating detail. The writing is nothing but flawless, and I immensely enjoyed reading this. The OCs are also brilliantly done, and somehow this makes me wish Ginny was sorted into Slytherin in canon as well. 

3. Simply Irresistible bookworm1993

Multi-chaptered

Genre: Romance/Humor

Status: Complete

Summary: Draco gave a cocky grin. "I am going to give you a makeover." "I'm sorry what?" "You heard me Granger, I'm going to give you a makeover that will make every man want you,and make Weasley die of regret. You will be simply irresistible."

...I’m sorry about this one. I know I said that this list would be comprised of obscure fanfics, but I couldn’t help but include this too. For those looking for a classic ‘leave-your-brain-behind’ 90s chick-click, this is the one for you. As someone who loves Ron and Romione, this fic will always have a special place in my heart. 

4. A Ship to Wreck FloreatCastellum

One-shot

Genre: Romance

Status: Complete 

Summary: And good God, under starry skies we are lost... And into the breach we got tossed... And the water's coming in fast! Did I build this ship to wreck? (-Florence and the Machine) Padma/Astoria, for the Doomed Ship Challenge on Mugglenet FanFic. Warnings: Heavy alcohol abuse, mild sexual situations.

I read this a while, and every few months I spontaneously remember and reread it again. For such an obscure pairing, the author paints a beautiful and tragic picture. Despite my lack of attention on both Astoria or Padma, I fell in love with this and their ‘doomed ship.’ 

5. Ten Steps to DeSueify a Mary Sue NickyFox13

Multi-chaptered

Status: Complete

Summary: The dreaded Mary Sue pollutes the Harry Potter fandom, and who else but Ron Weasley, with the help of Harry, Hermione and Ginny, will all teach you how to make a Mary Sue into a plesant original character. Expect weirdness and a lot of chaos. AU [Slowly undergoing edits]

A fun little fanfic that still lives in my head after all this time. Just the right amount of insanity, quirkiness, and fun sprinkled in there. 

6. Beautiful biggrstaffbunch

Two-shot

Genre: Romance

Status: Complete

Summary: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder 

A very unique fic that I encountered a long time back. The rhythm and writing pattern is what gives it its dynamic flavor. It’s perfectly suited for anyone who’s looking for something a different than what the typical stream of recs are. 

7. Three Deaths Reese1

One-shot

Genre: Humor/Parody

Status: Complete

Summary: What if Harry, Ron, or Hermione had died at the end of the Harry Potter series? Three scenarios are presented for each death. A tongue in cheek, alternate ending for the saga.

A ludicrous parody of the ending of DH. It pokes fun at the common tropes of most HP FF and is good for those of you who want a quick laugh. 

8. Rebel Jewels5

One-shot

Genre: Angst/tragedy

Status: Complete

Summary: Sixteen and reckless, with smooth black hair, greyblue eyes, and a personality that screamed “Motorcycle.”

Here’s a little something for the Sirius-simps. Written by the author of “The Life and Times,” this little snippet of Sirius’ personality is hauntingly beautiful. I think it captures the true poignancy in his life, from his home-life to the Marauders and eventually to his fall from grace. 

9. Isolation Bex-chan 

Multi-chaptered  

Genre: Romance/Angst

Status: Complete

Summary: Post HBP. Ron and Harry are Horcrux hunting and Hermione has been left at Hogwarts to help the Order make it safe for the other students. Draco is forced by Snape to stay in Hogwarts for his own protection, but he can't leave the room he is given; Granger's room. Hermione is the only student trusted with this information, so her and Malfoy share the small space, and Draco tries to avoid insanity as he becomes increasingly isolated with only the Mudblood for company. Something's going to give...

This may be one of the most popular fanfics on the internet, but that doesn’t mean it’s not one-of-a-kind. I was personally not a big fan of the romance itself––the characters had more of an impact on me if anything. It’s beautifully written with three-dimensional, rounded protagonists. Draco Malfoy’s development feels natural and in-character, and the general events stay true to the books and movies. 

That’s all for now. I may expand on this list once I dig up more of the long-forgotten fanfictions buried deep within the internet. Hope you all enjoy. 

[princesssarcastia]

2021 Harry Potter Fanfic Primer

im here to point fingers at the incredible authors that have enabled my new interest in HP content.  im still conflicted and upset about it, tbh, but for now we’re leaning into the curve.  we’re getting out our shovel and finding out just how deep we can make the hole we’re in.  hand in unlovable hand my beloved <3.  anyway, these fics are wonderful, their authors are wonderful, and you should go read their stuff. if there’s a star next to it that means im losing my mind over it and always will be.

Creatively Maladjusted, by elumish on AO3, 101k  (they also have a wonderful writing advice blog on tumblr, @elumish, which I recommend following if you are a writer) 

A very excellent re-telling of harry’s first year at hogwarts if he were sorted into Slytherin, plus some more not!fic or piecemeal re-tellings of his second and part of his third year.  Harry, in this, has a slightly different trauma response to growing up with the Dursley’s.  He’s a bit quieter, and the signs are a bit more obvious to the people around him, and I enjoyed that immensely. 

Honestly, if you’re going to get sucked into something you have absolutely no business getting sucked into, elumish is the way to go, their fic is incredible. their teen wolf fic is also immaculate, if you’re so inclined. 

Dissonance, by ImpishTubist on AO3, 2.5k (@impishtubist on tumblr)

Set during fifth year.  Oblivious!Harry has always been a delightful trope when well executed, and this is well executed.  Plus, some angst between Remus and Harry over what Umbridge has been doing to him.

I would certainly recommend a lot of ImpishTubist’s other hp work on AO3, like Lacuna.

blow us all away, by rexcorvidae on AO3, 23k (@rexcorvidae on tumblr)

In progress (like, updated last week in progress).  Currently in the beginning of Harry’s first year.  Fem!Harry, Indian!Harry.  Hagrid puts Harry in touch with Remus when she has questions about her parents, and they become reluctant, traumatized, angst-ridden pen pals who keep missing each other’s true intentions like ships in the night.  hot DAMN do I love this fic.  there’s hints of the way the dursley’s treat Harry peaking through in her letters, and I appreciated the attention to “hmm, her experience as a girl of indian descent in britain under the thumb of a bunch of white people who like being Normal may not have been gucci”

Definitely comb through the rest of their HP fic, too, I may or may not have gone feral over it.

Where the Heart is, by silver_fish on AO3, 15k (@kohakhearts on tumblr)

Woof.  This one said, “hey, harry was probably SUPER depressed in the summer after fifth year.  like, clinically.  maybe someone should do something about that.”  Fuck yeah.  Then this one said, “that someone was Snape.”  You all know my opinions on Snape; generally, Bad.  But damn if this fic didn’t wholly convince me by the end of it.  I thought it was a very realistic way for Snape to start seeing Harry as a person all on his own, and not a proxy for Snape’s angst over James and Lily, respectively.  The angst is wonderful, the ending is even more so.

*bernie sanders voice* I am once again asking you to read through the rest of the author’s HP fic.  a lot of them have similar themes; there’s actually a great one with Molly that i’m not reccing here, Wonder.

☆Bindings, Bindings, by Quietlemonhush on AO3, 60k (@quietlemonhush on tumblr)

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOYED/AM ENJOYING THIS.  If I had to pick a single fic and say “you, it’s your fault I’m stuck here,” it would be this one.  Anyway Lily in the afterlife is So Very Angry about how Petunia is treating Harry, and how Sirius is rotting in Azkaban, and how Remus is alone, that she literally brings herself back to life and drags James and Regulus with her.  All three of them are there to chew bubblegum and fix everything that went wrong after they died—and would you look at that, they’re all out of bubblegum!  There’s only Fury left.  That inciting premise is very crack, but every moment after that is very much not crack.  Lily and James love harry more than anything, the way a child should be loved; James and Sirius have the epic friendship of a lifetime; Sirius and Remus have staggering amounts of resolved sexual tension and take turns keeping each other in check; Regulus, though he realized that Voldemort and his family were shit before he died, is still unlearning all his racist bullshit and, also, years of trauma.  Actually, they’re all traumatized, but hey: now they have one another again and not a damn one of them seems inclined to let go anytime soon.  Quietlemonhush went, “hey, HP has a lot of Awful people in it, and a lot of Righteous people in it, and many of them are Very, Very Powerful; also, love is the most powerful force in the universe” and i said “hell yes tell me more right now.”  And then they did!

Quietlemonhush writes Sirius/Remus in a way that makes it sooo much fun to devour, so the rest of their HP fic is most certainly worth a look, if that’s your thing.

Rebuilding, by Colubrina on AO3, 113k (@colubrina on tumblr)

Hermione/Draco (*shrug emojis into the abyss* yeah, yeah, like none of us have ever been there before).  Takes place during Hogwarts 8th year, and while the beginning is, IMO, a little unfair to Ron, it gets much better.  Tells the story of Hermione and Draco clearing the air, learning to like each other, having some hormones over each other, and then falling in love.  Also tells the story of Hermione and Theo Nott becoming friends; the story of how every single 7th and 8th year student is fucked to hell by the war and the Carrows; the story of how they start an emotional support group about it and all become friends; and the story of, what the hell do you do with yourself after that kind of trauma?

I’ve been dipping in and out of Colubrina’s HP since before I was even on tumblr; I actually found them in those dark yesteryears when the only fandom interactions I had were on fanfiction.net.  Of such fame as Green Girl, which is an HP fic staple, and has also written a lot of wackier, crackier, and darker things than that.  If you don’t take yourself too seriously, I highly recommend many of their big HP works, though I imagine it’ll press some people’s buttons.  Colubrina’s work really does take up a corner of my mind whenever I’m in an HP mood, and will take up yours if you let it.

☆ all waiting is long, by shuofthewind on AO3, 149k ( @shu-of-the-wind on tumblr)

This is so well written that I can’t stop thinking about it.  It is occupying my mind when I lie awake at night, you know?  It’s one of those.  Hermione messes with something she probably shouldn’t have in Grimmauld Place, so when Sirius is sent through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, she gets thrust into an alternate universe...in 1975.  Instead of handwaving it away, shuofthewind actually gets into the mechanics of it in a way that makes sense, to emphasize that hermione is never going home.  ever. The world she finds herself is shifted slightly to the left, quite a bit darker, but in a “the author is treating the idea of a society-wide conflict over blood purity much more seriously than JKR ever did” way, not a sensationalist way.  Now, Hermione has to grapple with all her grief at losing everyone she’s ever loved or known, the moral/ethical/magical implications of sharing what she knows about her future in an alternate world, and, you know, a goddamn war with people who want to murder her for being who she is.  This Hermione is smart, and she’s kind, and she’s powerful, and she’s making real friends.  If you hate JKR’s guts I’d go read this right now, because it delivers in all the ways she failed us.  It’s plotty, its got great world-building, and it pulls back the white curtain on the wizarding world to show you that, like real life, it’s multicultural and full of queer people...and the discrimination that comes with both.

shuofthewind write epics, mainly for the MCU, and I’ve read some of them a looooong time ago, so this fic kinda seemed out of left field for me but im SOOOO GLAD it exists.  If you want MCU fic you can sink your teeth into, go for it, but alas, they do not have any more HP fic (.......yet?)

Speak Now [+] Listen Now, by mrsfrizzle on AO3, 33k altogether

Harry reaches out to Remus for support because Umbridge is getting to him with her literal torture.  Remus, being a former professor, former mandatory reporter, person who loves Harry and has since he was born, and all around good man, tells Harry he has to tell someone, or Remus will.  It’s everything any adult looking back on that time in HP canon ever wanted, which is for an actual adult to say “what the fuck, those are literal chidlren” and then do something about it.  Then, a far more dangerous task: Harry trusts Remus enough to go to him about the Dursleys.  Harry and Remus’ relationship develops SO WELL, and there’s a bit of exploration about how Sirius may not exactly be guardian material, because he did in fact spend 12 years of his life getting tortured instead of growing up.  I think I’m actually going to go reread this right now, because it speaks to my id.

they do have some other HP fic which did not appeal to my hyperspecific wants, but may appeal to some of yours.  I think they’re also a published author, there should be a link on their profile page.

chase the stars, by Duskglass on AO3, 101k (@felix-duskglass on tumblr)

When Harry is five years old, a picture of him ends up in the Daily Prophet, and Sirius Black, Terror of Ministry Officials Touring Azkaban everywhere, gets a hold of that issue.  He then, in order: breaks out of Azkaban; crosses the countryside to Surrey; Finds Harry: Kidnaps Harry; Breaks Into Remus’ Apartment; starts processing (or maybe just acknowledging) his trauma from Azkaban, the war, and his childhood; and pines after Remus.  It’s a little plotty, and deals a lot (sometimes through flashbacks) with the specific awful things that happened to Sirius—largely because, after years in the constant presence of Dementors, those are nearly literally the only memories he has left.  It’s a wonder he’s got the strength to love Harry and Remus at all.  But then, maybe it isn’t.

This is a Very Serious Fic, but the rest of Duskglass’s HP work is actually just cracky enough to tickle your funny-bone, while still making you think “okay but why couldn’t we have done that in the first place.”

So!  That’s it for recs, for now.  These are all things I’ve found and read in the last month; if any of y’all are interested in my old HP recs, let me know and I can make a post for that, too.  While I’m still very conflicted about my choice of current fandom, I am not in ANY way conflicted about my taste in fic and authors.  Send these guys some love, read their fic if you’re so inclined, and leave some nice comments at the end of it.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

I've heard of Snape/Hermione and Snape/Harry. What's your opinion about them? Why do people ship this? How did it even get in their heads? Not HATING, per se, just really really REALLY confused.

Personally, like I do with all things, I hate it.

But why I hate it and the reason other people like it are two entirely different things. Well, three entirely different things, maybe four.

So, with that, let’s begin.

Why Do People Ship Snape With Anybody?

So, what’s the deal with Snape? In the books he’s a petty man-child who spends his days tormenting children, acting as Dumbledore’s janitor, and lives a meaningless life with a nearly meaningless death. 

However, remember, this isn’t quite who he’s supposed to be.

JKR presents him as a tormented and complicated man. Yes, he’s an asshole unreasonably bitter against the existence of a child, who when turning traitor to Dumbledore made it very clear he hoped James and Harry would die and Lily alone would be spared. However, ultimately Harry not only forgives him, but decides that Snape was secretly the bravest man he knows.

This is ingredient one: Snape is a complicated and tragic man who lived a miserable life.

Ingredient two: Snape is played by Alan Rickman in the film franchise.

Sure, they gave Alan Rickman the worst hair in the world, it’s not young Alan Rickman, and he acts like Snape. But he’s still Alan Rickman and he oozes charisma. He can’t help it. And while the Snape of the books was this gangly, greasy, bat like figure the movie version is not. When he speaks, you can’t help but listen to that voice. What I mean is you take Snape seriously in every moment. Even when he’s... Snape.

Ingredient three: Snape is one of the smartest characters in the series.

Harry Potter is a series filled with idiots, each one dumber than the last. Ask me to list powerful characters, I can only come up with eight, and really only three (one that I made up). 

Snape, however, is a smart guy and is one of the only competent people in the country. This is why both Dumbledore and Voldemort rely on the same man exclusively who they know is a double agent. There is no one else.

It’s either him or you have to turn to Molly Weasley and Bellatrix.

Ingredient four: He was tragically dumped and angsts over this until he dies

Lily drops Snape like it’s hot. Personally, I agree with her, given what he said she absolutely had to cut ties. Many don’t and are very sympathetic to Snape. Or else they believe Snape has learned from his mistakes later (which.... probably not).��

Regardless, Lily Evans moving on to greener pastures makes Snape sad and miserable. He was dumped by the hot chick, IF I DATED THIS MAN I WOULD NEVER DUMP HIM AND MAKE HIM SAD! 

All of this combines into making Snape into the same tragic figure we see in Tyrion from “A Song of Ice and Fire”.

He’s very intelligent but utterly miserable, a true blue cynic, who (when fans put their mind to it) has a heart of gold underneath and all he needs is someone who can see how wonderful he is.

The difference being that fans make Snape sexy. No, seriously, I have read Hermione/Snape fics where she gushes about how amazing his hair is. I guess Hermione likes that grease (this is the sound of me shuddering).

Why Do People Ship Hermione and Snape?

This is a very common pairing archetype. It’s our strong, smart, female lead protagonist getting with the older, bitter, intellectual. They appreciate each other’s brilliance and have a Mature and Adult Relationship (TM) and remind the audience at every turn how they’re far more intellectual than the likes of Harry, Ron, and us readers.

They get together inventing some spell or some potion.

Snape discovers that Hermione actually is brilliant and not just a know-it-all brat. Hermione discovers that Snape has unfound depths because he was once dumped by Harry’s mother.

... I just explained why I hate it.

RIGHT.

People like it because it’s very.. Well, it’s Pride and Prejudice. This is very Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet. She’s prejudiced, he’s proud, they circle around each other for a long time until they finally wind up together.

When it’s not that usually there’s some political mind games, the sort of thing you see in Dramione, The difference being usually this author thinks that Draco is what he actually is the books: a racist Richie Rich who goes around whining about his father. So, Snape becomes an older, more cynical, more complicated, and more sophisticated male lead instead.

The author usually makes some excuse about how it’s okay for Snape to have sex with his student. Either Hermione’s older now and it’s no longer an issue or... magic demands he marry a sixteen-year-old girl (seriously, I’ve seen this too). 

Why Do People Ship Harry and Snape?

Rather than the two intellectuals getting together this is instead the Goodness of Harry (TM). Harry makes up for his mother’s flaws, he forgives and dates Snape and surpasses his shallow parents. Snape is awed and amazed by this boy he had brushed off as his father’s son, realizes Harry is his own person, and is desperately in love with him.

It’s a... sweet story. It’s about love, the goodness of Harry, and Snape learning how not to be a miserable bastard.

Of course, given my opinions on Harry, you know where I stand. Harry in canon is more likely to have murdered Snape himself in any given year of Hogwarts and asked Hermione to help him hide the body. They probably feed the dismembered limbs to Fang.

As for Snape, he loathes Harry’s entire existence. Harry being a douchebag like his father certainly doesn’t help, but just for having survived in Lily Evans’ place Snape would have loathed him entirely.

That, and Snape/Harry fics usually get weird with the surreal fluff and mpreg. So much mpreg.

[finn-ray-nal-beads]

I meant to send this here but sent a message instead. Either way 🤣

I know you’re not doing much writing right now, but if you feel inclined to do something anything fucked up for Valentine’s Day with Flip or Captain Blowhole, it could be the sort of fucked up that we all deserve!

Take on Captain Blowhole vs Cupid?!? Like Cpt Hook and Tinker Bell, except Cupid is a full sized ugly ass man with a beer gut like captain Underpants! 🤣

I’m literally writing a fic I’m titling Flip vs Cupid where he has to go arrest a flasher on V Day and has to tackle him down and wrestle around etc

A/N: Holy fuckin’ shit man! The third part in the Siren Series is finally here.... Who the hell am I being so efficient this week! The is the final part and I am so fuckin’ proud of this series I just had the best time writing it out! I hope you all love it and thank you @safarigirlsp for sending in the ask to finish this love fest out! 

Warnings: tw: violence, tw: death, tw: assault (we get slapped as well as we slap someone too), degradation, slight edging, unprotected sex, angst, mutual pining, fluff because I love these two so much, misuse of pirate puns and buccaneer banter, smut because we all love some of that cock talk, mentions of a certain ADCU character entering the mix (the tides will tell us)

The night was long and cold, the depths reaching near frigid temperatures as the Jolly Roger trudged on through the beacon. Frost building on either side of the hull, encasing the wood in a tomb of sorts, causing shivers to radiate from the crew as the soft snow fell around them.

“C-Cap,” Ron shuddered at the wheel, his eyelashes coated in snowflakes as he kept Flip’s course steady and true, “you sure we’re goin’ the r-right way,” he shivered rubbing his extended arm to cultivate some heat while he waited for a response.

Flip coughed, a thick fog releasing from his mouth as he glanced up slowly, his inky locks coated in a slick of frost as well. 

“It has to be,” he muttered, the vortex of the lights cascading around the entirety of the ship in a tube as the snow kept falling. 

He glanced back down, running a quivering finger down the direction of the map, huffing when he noticed the course was tried and true to where his trusty ship was heading. 

His chorus of shudders racking his body upon glancing back up at his lethargic crew, the snow and ice impeding them from their usual performances. The track of light fell where the sea met the sky, the eerie silence causing even more confusion as he noticed the pulsing of the colors in the distance. 

He wondered if you were at the end of this so-called rainbow. If you would even recall who he was, let alone let you be taken by him again. 

The shame settling over him in a veil as he began to worry about your rejection. You were completely out of his league in every aspect, including the fact that you could breathe underwater. What if he had set sail to track you down for nothing? Were you already occupied with another sailor, like a whore? Or was it just not meant to be based on the differences you shared? 

Either way, his grouchy ass had to find that out on his own, rules be damned. You had been on his mind every single day since he’d taken you on those golden shores. Your face framed by the sun lived rent-free, your luscious body sand-covered and begging for him, your gorgeous voice echoing his name as a song in his head. It was all intoxicating and he had to hear you again before he burst into flames.  

The vortex grew brighter and brighter, the sound of an impending whirlpool approaching with rapid speed in the direction of the ship. The crew jumping from the frigid conditions instantly as the hull rocked from the waves picking up and the amplified light. 

“Hold steady boys!” his booming voice echoed through the deck as they scrambled to their stations, little puffs of fog making their way to the illuminated ceiling of the tunnel as they made ready for the next part of the journey. 

“Cap?!” Ron frightened slightly as the wheel took on a mind of its own, spinning a fury while the bow dipped into the water vortex, “Cap what do I fuckin’ do?!” the both of them holding on for dear life as they began to spin down into the whirlpool. 

“Hold the fuck on!” he gritted out, reaching for any piece of wood around them to ground them to the deck, the sounds of cries and yelps radiating through as the boat hurled towards the blackened center of the pool, a bright wormhole opening to glisten in his pupils as they approached it. 

“Holy fuckin’ shit!” Ron cried out, completely scared out of his wits, grabbing onto the same piece of wood as his pal was, “Cap what’s going on?!” screaming at him while he watched Flip fixated on the light. 

“I think it’s the entrance,” he spoke almost calmly, his ship barreling into the bright beacon with the littlest efforts, the entire crew stifling the light from their eyes with hands raised as it was sucked inward. 

_____________

“Daddy what the hell is going on?!” you huffed into the throne room, your parents perched in their rightful places as you blew a huff of bubbles out in annoyance. 

“I was busy,” crossing your arms as your tail spanned below you in a cascade of greens and blues, your hair flowing in the clear water as you scrunched your face. 

“Watch your mouth, Y/N,” he commanded, pointing his trident in your direction, the threat causing you to roll your eyes and brush a hand in disgust. 

After you had returned from your escapade, the torture had ensued. Your father put more pressure on you to fulfill his wishes of becoming married to the most suitable bachelor in the Seven Seas. 

The thought of anyone but your sailor boy making you gag audibly as he showed you suitor after suitor for weeks and weeks, only to find himself more annoyed at your defiance of him. 

“The time has come my daughter,” he boomed, your mother smiling uncomfortably at the exchange, gulping loudly before he continued his power trip over your duties as a Princess. 

“The time has come for what?” scrunching your eyebrows at him in more annoyance as he smirked devilishly at you. 

“For you to meet your betrothed,” he cooed, the bubbles condescendingly falling from his trout mouth as your jaw dropped before him. 

You pushed a finger in your ear, making sure to clean it out properly before answering him back, “I’m sorry… my who?!” your eyes bugging out of your head before you could lunge at him in a fury. 

“You know exactly what I said,” darkly speaking as he gestured his staff to open the double doors, revealing a merman as they escorted him to the side of your father. 

“My sweet daughter,” he pandered, “this… is Matthew… The new future King of the Ocean,” the tall, blonde gentleman smiling as brightly as a guppy while he was doted on by your father. The sight of them nauseating you to no end as you surveyed him. 

Arms still crossed over your covered tits, pushing them out slightly as you inched forward to take him in further. He wasn’t completely hideous, you thought to yourself, his face chiseled and handsome. His body was built heavy and stacked, abdominals straining under his scaled skin as you watched him speak in hushed tones to your father. His hair a cascade of golds and yellows, as the curls satisfyingly framed his face. But he wasn’t your sailor. 

Your handsome, tall, and dark buccaneer. The one with the chiseled features, thick black locks, and a heavy swinging cock. He wasn’t even close to him, and would never be in your mind. 

You looked around while they had their little conference, rudely ignoring your presence as you surveyed the room, wondering if you could make a break for it and go find your love again. 

It wouldn’t be too hard, you thought, he wasn’t that elusive in any sense of the word. You knew his ship from stem to stern, having conjured it back from the depths while he laid passed out on the sand that day. 

Recalled what his crew looked like, grabbing each of them from the Locker one by one to revive them. It would be as simple as recalling his trails he’d left coupled with your gift of echolocation to find him before he even blinked. You considered it. Biting a lip as you darted panicked eyes between the armed guards at all exits. 

“Y/N,” your father cleared his throat, “are you going to introduce yourself to your future King?” he smiled again, extending a hand for yours to come closer. 

“I’m so sorry about her,” he gripped your fingers in a death grip, a hiss coming out of your throat as he pulsed them, “she’s kind of spacey… forgive me,” pushing you to collide with his thick body in a thud. 

“Ow! Fuck!” pushing him off you in an instant, putting your hands over your tits as they throbbed from the collision. 

Another blow to the back of your head via the trident, “watch your whore mouth!” he boomed again, “I am deeply sorry, Matthew,” he smiled fakely again. 

“It’s perfectly fine, Your Highness,” he bowed slightly, “I like my women a bit feisty,” the fire burning in his eyes as he glared down at you. 

“The challenge of it all is… tantalizing,” taking your hand in his and bending down to lightly kiss it, the disgust fanning over you as his lips touched your scales. 

“Y/N,” he cooed beneath you, “it is a pleasure to be in the presence of such… beauty,” the waft of heart-shaped bubbles escaping his lips as he weaved his words. 

You pulled your hand, nursing it as you rubbed the spot where his snake-like lips had touched it, feeling utterly violated as your lips formed a pout in his direction. 

You contemplated for a moment, going over the positives and negatives as you watched him gaze at you, his handsome features no doubt hiding his true identity underneath. You rustled up to meet his eye line, your eyes becoming slits as you whispered, “You will never be my betrothed,” you menacingly growled, fangs snarling in his direction as you watched the flames blaze from a soft pink in his eyes to a glowing red. 

“You disgusting, conniving, snake!” landing a hard slap on his face before a shrill scream left your mother in awe of your actions. 

“You little bitch!” he hissed, watching the anger boil over you while your father lit up behind you in a rage. 

“How dare you, Y/N!” he boomed again, “you’re going to marry Matthew if it’s my last dying wish!” the tears spilling down your face as you spun around to meet his gaze. 

“Make me daddy!” you spat in his face, ready to give him another set of choice words before a huge flash of light interrupted the party. 

The whole group turning glances at each other, “did someone open the portal?” your mother putting her hand over her mouth in fear, cowering behind your father in a fit that made you cringe. 

“Your Highness, I can go check it out… There’s no reason for you to be put in danger over this,” he bravely puffed his chest out like a pompous jerk, patting the top of your head like a child. 

“Stay here my fiery siren,” he spewed, the nickname making you shoot daggers his way as he swam his way out of the balcony. All of you collectively inching out to see a huge bubble encasing a massive ship in the middle of the city. 

Gasps of shocked cries ringing out as passerby gazed in wonder at the bubbling orb floating in suspense, seemingly unphased by the fact it was smack dab in the center of a lost city. 

You squinted, not looking at your slimy suitor but the boat encased in the waves, cocking your head as it came clearer into your view. 

You audibly gasped, the flurry of bubbles and a wave as you placed both hands over your mouth, hoping your parents didn’t notice your surprise. 

“Don’t worry Y/N,” your dad placed a heavy hand on your shoulder, “when he gets back you can ask for an apology… I know he’s a man of reason,” smirking down thinking you were worried for his safety. 

_________________

“What the fuck?!” Flip scared out of his wits echoed as his voice reverberated along the walls of the water bubble. His crew shouting all kinds of curses as they prayed Hail Mary’s over the devil magic that had brought them to their orbed hell. 

He panicked, running from all sides of the ship, rubbing his eyes as he gazed around at the majesty that had cleared around the encasement. 

The city was a beacon in the depths of the darkness. The cool blue waters surrounding all sides of him in a tropical paradise littered with all colors of fish, seaweed, glorious statues, and towers, all centered around a glimmering castle. 

He gulped when he caught a glance of panicked merfolk, the realization that they were circling he and his crew sending him spiraling as he gleefully smiled at his successful venture. 

“Holy. Fucking. Shit,” he gasped, “Ron… R-Ron we made it,” he panted, begging his buddy to pinch him to see if he was dreaming. It was just as the books had revealed. The mecca in the ocean was lost to all the land dwellers in a mysterious flash. Yet here he was, face to face with a slew of shocked faces gazing at him like they were the fish out of water. 

“W-what do we do now, Cap?” Ron tugged at his jacket, Flip frozen in place just like his crew as they deadpanned the scene before them of hoards of merpeople all ages crowding around their forcefield. 

“I-I’m not entirely sure,” he quipped back, “I didn’t think we’d actually get this far,” gripping his friend’s hand on his shoulder before shuffling it off of him. He walked towards the starboard bow, coming face to face with a pink-tinged merman. 

The tips of his blonde locks a rose color, his chiseled face looking slightly similar in character to him. It was eerie how close their bone structure was, like looking in a mirror but morphed into a blonde wig instead of his trademark black waves. He cocked his face to the side, the handsome face doing a similar gesture as his pink irises came into a clear view. The slits of his pupils boring into Flip’s golden ones as he surveyed his near doppelganger. 

He cleared his throat, thinking to speak, and then possibly realizing it may not be heard via the separation between him and the mysterious fish. He squared him up even further, glancing down the expanse of his thick chest, rippling abs, and his stark pink tail, whipping in the waves as he noticed him doing the same thing. 

The silent exchange making Flip shiver with unsureness. He had never felt this way. He had stormed a slew of shores in his days, being the young swashbuckler he was, and come across many a menacing buccaneer, and slew them like the stud he was. 

But this… was enemy territory… and by enemy, he knew he was number one on the crowd’s list. The foreigner who crashed into town unannounced, and unwelcome, all to search for a woman. Isn’t that how it always goes though? 

“What have you come here for, sailor?” the haunting voice of the merman penetrating the wall in a clear, melodious tone, like he was inside with them. The crew shuddering from the sound, begging Flip to look away as if he were Medusa.

He cleared his throat, breaking from the hold his gaze had on him, gripping the sides of his jacket as he spoke, “I’m here to find one of your kind, merman,” his eyebrow cocked as the man looked unimpressed at his response. 

“Is that so?” he smirked, his fangs slightly showing as his voice, mesmerized Flip even further, “and who… may I ask, would you be possibly looking for 7,000 leagues under the sea?” the man entertaining his stupidity as he pandered to the captain. 

“For your information, fish boy,” he sneered, not loving the condescension in his tone, “I’m looking for a siren…” meeting his menacing stare noses touching the wall of water between them. 

“There’s a million sirens in this town, swashbuckler,” he chided, “you’re gonna have to be more specific… or are you too drunk to remember your own name?” the joke producing a fit of giggles from the crowd behind him. 

“Sober as a stone, Pinky,” dishing it right back to him, a frown emerging from his lips at the degrading name, “Y/N… That’s her name,” the tone of his voice lowering as he watched the fire boil in the man’s eyes. 

“Y/N?” his fists forming as his tinge on his entire body went from a blushed pink to a bright red, turning around to face you on the balcony. 

You gulped, waiting for the mess to start as your betrothed beckoned you with a finger to the bubble. 

“My darling,” he cooed, the flames boiling over as he tried to keep his composure, “you have a visitor,” gripping your hand in the same as your father had done the time before, a hiss leaving your lips as you flashed your fangs at him. 

“You mean, Princess Y/N of the Sevens Seas? My betrothed?” he chanted, the anger completely seething from his teeth as he presented you to the captain. 

Your shocked face coming nose to nose with your sailor in a fit of embarrassment as you realized he was dangling you like chum in front of him.  

“Sailor?” you gasped, his handsome face becoming more clear as your delicate hands touched the side of the bubble, your magic clearing the path to a thin line to see his precious face gaze at you. 

“Y/N?” his heart almost leaping out of his chest as his hands met the spot where yours were on the opposite side, “I thought I wouldn’t ever see your gorgeous face again,” wanting so badly to feel your plush lips on his as you watched his face soften at the sight of you. 

“I’m here, Captain,” you quipped, trying to hide your expressions as the grip on the back of your head tightened from your other suitor. The blood boiling in his hands singing your scalp as he listened to you quietly spoke to your true love. 

He jerked your body away from the wall, the feeling putting you into whiplash as he threw you back, “how dare you,” he seethed, his eyes glowing even brighter upon seeing you fawn over a human. 

“How. Dare. You. Fucking slut!” the explosion of a fireball and a cascade of black bubbles emitting from his head as he blew his top. 

“You fucked this garbage didn’t you, whore?!” he angrily pointed at you, your expression telling him everything as you darted glances between him and your sailor boy. 

He towered over you, lifting a heavy hand to your face, and slapping you with all the effort he could muster, “answer me you fucking land lover!” the tears spilling as you tried to gulp the words out, your silence doing more to egg on his mood. 

“Get your fuckin’ prissy hands off her and fight me like a fuckin’ man!” a booming voice echoed from the bubble, revealing a spent Flip, his jacket and hat torn off in a fury over the show he’d seen. 

Matthew turned, steam shooting from his ears as he watched Flip stand his ground on his ship, “You wanna fight you fuckin’ bastard?!” inching to him and morphing himself to a human in a flash, his tinge not changed as he appeared on the deck, fire blazing in between his fingers as he stood toe to toe with the captain. 

“Let’s fuckin’ fight,” he calmly huffed, his teeth hissing out heavy breaths as Flip removed his sword from his waist, standing ready to fight. 

“Let’s go Pinky!” he gritted, moving to throw the first blow, metal colliding with his fiery fist in a flash of sparks. 

The clanging of blows hitting in tandem as they danced across the upper deck of the ship. Flip bobbed every attack he had, same with Matt. The both of them reading each other’s movements like a dance before landing a crushing blow to the merman’s shoulder, the blood spewing out in a wave that splatter all over Flip’s shirt and exposed chest. 

“You’re gonna regret that, sailor,” his devilish grin spurring him to attack faster and more agile as he landed an equally hard blow to the buccaneer’s midsection. The fire burning his skin in a sear of pain as he grunted a moan, stumbling back up while Matt chuckled at his victory. 

“Had enough?” he pandered, cocking his fiery head to the captain. 

“Not even close, fire crotch,” upturning a smirk as he jabbed another blow to his chest this time, the blade piercing in a spray of blood again as a cry rang out through the orb. 

You watched in complete terror. Each blow getting more and more deadly as they duked it out. 

Soon, Flip was gasping for breath, trying to center himself as he sustained more damage. Matthew noticing him falter under his superiority and making a note as he watched him weakly get back up after the last blow he’d taken to his stomach again. 

“What’s the matter sailor?” he chided, loading up another crushing blow as he watched his enemy pant, his weapon falling at his side in exhaustion, “too much rum?” laughing as he landed a crushing blow to the top of his head, knocking Flip out cold underneath him. 

He smirked, surveying the crew as they stood back, scared out of their boots. He huffed, walking to the edge to find you, panicked and shocked at the turn of events. 

“My sweet love,” he cooed, the fire still burning at a dull roar as he spoke, “you’re going to forget this ever happened… and you will call me your King, just like you’re going to be my slave the rest of your days in this ocean,” his commands cutting you like a knife as you sobbed uncontrollably. 

“Fuck you!” pounding on the bubble wall in a fit as he maniacally cackled in front of you, “I’ll never be yours, fucking pink bastard!” spitting as it fueled his raged laughs. 

“Now, now…” he tsked, running a slick finger to where your forearm was rested on the wall, “I love my women feisty,” cooing again as you writhed in frustration and pain for your sailor. 

Your eyes closed shut as you heard his evil cackle ring through your ears, only to look up when it was stifled by a muffle it seemed. 

You glanced back up, eyes blurred as you blinked your vision back to see what had happened now.

Flip stood towering over the fireball, his sword logged from his back to poke out his beating heart like a skewer, while his thick hand fell over his mouth, eyes rolling back in his head as he succumbed to the sweet release of death. 

“Heartless mother fucker,” he gritted, driving the sword back out of your betrothed, his limp body crashing to the deck in a thud. 

“Flip!” you cried, pawing at the wall when his gaze met yours, his exhausted body breathing a sigh of relief when he saw you. 

“Hey there, gorgeous,” he cooed, your tears dripping even further as you pined for his touch. 

“Flip I-I’m so sorry,” you whined, wishing you had the right words to say in this exact moment, “I shouldn’t have ever… Fuck, I shouldn’t have left home!” beating the bubble again in a fit of self-pity as you watched him wince gripping his side in pain. 

“Don’t ever apologize, sugar,” he cooed, the pained smile coming over his face as he limped over to you, “you’re the best adventure I’ve had,” putting a hand to meet yours on the wall again, both foreheads leaning to meet too as you both exhaled in adoration of each other. 

“I-I haven’t stopped thinking about you,” he admitted, his hushed tone so low that only you were able to hear it. 

“Neither have I,” you whispered in the same tone, the smiles and fits of laughter falling over the both of you as the tears kept rolling. 

“Can ya come with me? I need you… More than I care to admit,” he bashfully shied away, your face curling into pure joy as you realized what he had asked of you. 

“You mean… Forever?” biting a lip to hear him beg for you. 

“Well I didn’t fuckin’ cross the entire ocean, go down a tunnel of doomed light, swirl into a fuckin’ whirlpool, and fight pinky over here to just ask for one more night of sand sex,” kicking the limp noodle on the ground in a huff. 

You laughed out loud, the bubbles leaving your mouth before you placed your finger over it in embarrassment. 

You turned to glance at your parents, who, by now, had ventured through the crowd to marvel at the orb, seeing the debauchery unfold in horror. 

“Daddy?” you questioned, wincing slightly as you turned around to see your father in complete shock. 

“Daddy? I-I,” you couldn’t get the words out before your father wrapped you up in the biggest embrace he had ever given you. Your arms only wrapped around him after you realized what was occurring, the tears now a blubbering mess as you hid in his huge frame. 

“Go,” were the words you heard. You looked up, shaking your head from side to side in denial as you wept in front of him. 

“Go… have your freedom, my sweet baby girl,” placing a soft hand to your as he dried a tear from your cheek. 

“B-but, daddy my duties, I-I,” he shushed you, looking with all of the love he could conjure up. 

“Fuck all of that,” a laugh echoing from his lungs, “I want you to have an adventure… go find something worthwhile… and with someone you love… this place will still be here if you want to come back, sweet thing,” the words spilling from his lips causing your jaw to drop open again. 

“Daddy, wha-,” wondering if this was all a charade to keep you here with them. 

“This lad must truly love you if he trekked across the ocean to find you,” looking to Flip who was registering the conversation before his eyes. 

“I think that says more about his character than any of the suitors we had picked for you,” his voice calm and collected as he spoke back to you. The silent exchange of love between you a welcome embrace to the fights you’d been having since you had turned thirteen. 

“I-I do love him,” looking back to his boyish smile as he stumbled from the pain on his side again. 

“I know you do, sweet siren,” he brushed a hair from your face, “now go… have an adventure I could never have,” pressing his forehead to yours as you both reveled in the peace of the exchange. 

You broke your hug, barreling to your mother who had at this point, sobbed the entire ocean over sea level, and gave her the largest hug. 

“I’ll be back mommy,” you cried, kissing her forehead as you back away from your family, waving at the crowd of folk surrounding you before morphing into your human form and sucking yourself into the bubble. 

You gathered yourself, getting your wet hair back, and shuffling off the water as your soaked nude form came to his view. 

“Hey sailor,” you cooed out, shy as you batted those gorgeous lashes his way, your silky body glistening with water droplets for the whole world to see. 

“Hey there, my sweet siren,” he panted back, gulping some air as he winced in another round of pain. 

“Holy shit,” you gasped, running to his aid, “sailor… You’re hurt,” putting a delicate hand to feel the heat from his abdominals pulsing under him. 

“Nah,” he grunted, leaning on your for support as you walked his down to the double doors of the main deck, “I’m tough as they come, sugar, I’ll be fit as a fiddle in a few days,” wincing in pain again with a groan. 

The crew had been eyeing your form as your cascaded down the stairs, tits and areolas bouncing, bare cunt flashed unbeknownst as you were more preoccupied with Flip and his health. 

You both glanced around, wondering why the guys weren’t preparing to blast out of this popsicle stand. Their jaws gaping as they surveyed your ample curves, Flip’s face inches from a supple tit as he registered reality.

“Mother of fuck!” he got up, the pain in his voice echoed as he stood to cover your body with his, “get hold the sheet and get us the fuck outta here you peepin’ Tom’s!” he bellowed, the boys coming to attention and scrambling with their orders as they were still flustered over your beauty. 

Flip pushed you back into the doors, trudging into his quarters with a thud as he landed on his bed. You went right to work, ripping his shirt off, and tending to his wounds while you both felt the ship take off to the surface. 

__________________

“You know you never told me you were a Princess,” his gruff voice whispered as the night had set over the sky, his body littered with bandages as you tended to each with the most care. 

“Forgive me… The last time we were together it didn’t seem like the right time to bring it up,” you quipped back, earning a low hum from his chest to ring out. 

“Matty boy was right… You are kinda feisty,” he quoted the smirk over his lips deepening as he watched your face scrunch in disgust over the name. 

“If you’re trying to get some tonight, you’re not winning any style points by bringing that snake up,” pressing a little harder on a wound to see him writhe in pain slightly. 

“Sorry, sugar,” he chided, “but it’s somewhat true,” he chuckled shying away as you tried to push on another cut to cause him some more pain. 

“Such a smooth sailor,” you sang, your lips ghosting his as you drank in his musk. 

“That’s what they call me,” he dished right back inching his mouth on yours in a dainty kiss. 

The feeling was elating. Your lips connected in tandem as they begged for more, the tongues dancing in your mouths as his hands snaked to grip your bare tits in his thick digits. 

A relieved gasp left your chest, followed by a moan when he ran his thumbs over your peaks, the circles to magical as they coaxed you to straddle his lap with a soft grind on his hardened erection. 

“I missed these gorgeous tits,” he moaned, moving his lips to your right breast and sucking the life out of it before doing to same to the other. 

You fumbled with his pants, pulling his bloomers down in a fervor as his cock sprung to attention, the weeping head falling in the direction of his left-leaning tower. It expanded the length of your thigh, the purple head, begging to be sucked up into your cunt as the precum slid on the inner meat of your leg. 

“I missed this cock of yours, captain,” you moaned, your words egging him on as he assaulted your chest with a variety of bites and bruises, hands gripping your ass with all the strength he had in him. 

You brought it to your entrance, rubbing the tip on your bud as it slicked up the wetness that had formed over the course of being reunited with your man. The feeling of it tapping your bean sending waves of electricity through your spine, throwing your head back as you sat on him inch by delicious inch. 

“M-mother f-fuck,” he grit out, his teeth still encasing a nipple as he bit down on it in pleasure, “this fucking cunt,” his breath coming in hot and heavy as he watched your face fill with bliss. 

“There’s nothin’ like this perfect pussy of yours,” he panted out, your grinding on his pelvis spurring his dirty mouth to spill out obscenities. 

He bucked up into you, meeting your cervix with every push as he watched you edge yourself over him. 

“You like your shores stormed, huh, siren,” he grunted, feeling your walls flutter around him as you fucked yourself into your release. 

“I fuckin’ love this mast of yours,” echoing back as you rode out your orgasm, the feeling of his pubic hair and his tip knocking your spot a magical combination as you clenched around him in a death grip. 

“That’s my good girl,” he groaned out, the overwhelming feeling over your luscious cunt spilling all over him sending him into overdrive as he stilled your hips. 

He spilled his swimmers deep into you, the endless waves of white coating your sandy beach in a glaze as he finished his motions under you. You fucked faces gasping for air as you both came down from the high of the night. 

You collapsed on him, making sure to avoid his wounds as he kept a steady arm around you. Petting his chest as you felt a gush of spend escape your full cunt. 

“I’m never gonna lose you again, Y/N,” he whispered, kissing your head as he nuzzled you closer to him. Your leg wrapped around him in a koala as you both closed your eyes in bliss. 

“Trust me, sailor,” you cooed back, letting out a heavy sigh, “I’m not goin’ anywhere now,” slowly drifting off to the sounds of his cold heart beating in your ears. 

____________

HOLY MOLEY I FINISHED A SERIES FINALLY I AM SO EXCITED! I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED THIS WHALE COCK OF A TALE! 

taglist: @maybe-your-left, @safarigirlsp, @clydesfavoritegirl, @mrs-zimmerman, @thepalaceofmelanie, @hopeamarsu, @caillea, @historyandfandoms50, @mariesackler, @millenialcatlady, @thepriceofstars, @roanniom, @kathorax, @driversmutbucket, @clydes-hole, @xxcatrenxx, @paper-n-ashes

LMK if ya would like to be added to the list! All of the love!

[vivithefolle]

About criticizing Hermione.

Personally I think Hermione should be criticized for everything that happened in the books, the facts speak of their own but there is a limit in how responsible a fictional character is for the actions the author made her do . It's not like she actually had her faith in her hands and she chose to be JKRs shelf-insert and make all her Shitty ideas her own.

Let's look at the bigger picture here, is Hermione realy being treated better than Ron from the phantom?

JKR trusted her characters to Kloves and he basically pimped Hermione. She is the most sexualized fictional character of the 21st century so far, he portraited her like an OP/sexi cosplay of the real Hermione. She became a top10 sex fantasy for every healthy and sick mind out there and JKR did nothing to stop It for like a decade.

Ron is being hated for being an 'unworthy' pair for her(actually they hate him just because he has Hermione) and she is being hated for choosing him and she must be punish for it. You said that if she was a boy everybody will call for his head on a plate and I apsolotly agree but she is a girl so they call for her vagina on a plate instead. This is how you punish an intelligent woman, you subdue her and then you sexualy demean her.

You know better than me what is happening in fanfiction. She's been paired with evreone from Harry to Hagrids dog and the giand squid. Hermione is a sex slave, a dominated toy, a sperm dumpster, a total slut, a cheating/cheated wife, she is been mercilessly raped and abused and portrayed like a young Bellatrix or umbridge.

She has earn as many nasty titles as Ron so I don't think her being a girl worked in her favor.

Unfortunately it seems there are a lot of people who think that Intelligence is a mark of higher character and superior maturity as you said but Hermione is not one of them. She is hanging around with Harry and Ron and his family not her 'intelectual equals' from Ravenqlaw book club and she is dating athletes not distinguished students. Intelligence isn't the most important thing for her and she never acted like different people are not worthy of her company or her attention. So let's not hold her accountable for those ridiculous ideas.

Anyway I don't know if I am ranting but I just believe Hermiones character has been damaged and shamed just as much as Rons has, just in bit of different way and she don't deserve extra hate because she is JKRs shelf-insert in the story.

That comment of yours 'Hermione is literally JKR' ruin my appetite for the day. I just imagine Ron doing things with her.... Buhh😫🤢

The major difference in fanfiction is that... many people legit think this is “better” for Hermione.

They write stories of her being abused by Big Bad OOC Ron and being rescued by heroic prince charmings like Harry, Draco, Snape, or whoever. And all the while, the shippers genuinely think this could be plausible.

They take this huge dump on Ron and everything he stands for as a character - your insecurities don’t define you; the people you love only ask for you to be there, not for you to always be a 5* badass; you don’t have to prove anything to anyone but yourself - then proceed to “reward” Hermione with the affections of someone they’ve deemed “worthy” of her.

Usually, a person with which Hermione finds herself in a more subservient position.

Harry Potter: Mr Save The World, super fucking rich, will forever outshine whoever marries him Draco Malfoy: aristocratic/nobility, super hella rich Lucius Malfoy (yes, Luciumione is very popular on AO3): same as above + MUCH older than Hermione Severus Snape: Potions prodigy who actually invented stuff while Hermione only ever stuck by the book, MUCH older than she is Viktor Krum: famous athlete, probably rich

And so on and so forth.

Many of the Hermione ships of the fandom have an inherent imbalance. When it comes to age gap ships like Snamione or Luciumione, people will justify themselves by saying “oh but Hermione is so mature for her age, she needs someone on her level!”

.......... I very much hope to never meet one of these people in real life.

Not only is Hermione nowhere as mature as what they believe she is but MATURITY DOESN’T MAKE UP FOR A GAP OF NEARLY TWO DECADES OF EXPERIENCE. (And can you imagine saying  “Hermione needs a mature man!” then pairing her with Snape, the teenager stuck in a grown man’s body? Talk about cognitive dissonance.)

Anyway, those ships usually take Hermione to pair her with, let’s say it in the worst possible way, a man of “more value” than her.

The Hero. An aristocrat. An older man and a teacher. A celebrity...

They’re not trying to look to match Hermione with an equal.

They’re trying to pair her with someone she can be subservient to.

Because as @lytefoot​ brilliantly put it:

A woman has to be all-around pretty good at everything, whereas a man has to be the absolute best in his area of greatest competence (surely better than any puny female!) with a help-meet there to compensate for his weaknesses. People are very, very uncomfortable when Ron and Hermione reverse this dynamic. Hermione is extremely intelligent and dedicated to intellectual pursuits, but is complete pants at things like self-care and people skills. Ron is bright enough to keep up with her and strong in her areas of weakness.

Even if Ron was as dumb as a sack of rocks (he’s not), his other virtues are more than enough to “justify” Hermione loving him. (Because she needs an excuse?) But no. A woman has to be with a man who outdoes her in her area of greatest strength.

But they’re completely convinced that they’re making a “better” match for Hermione because in their heads, they’ve convinced themselves that Ron’s “inferiority” (= his underrated qualities like his good heart, his humour, his patience (many of which are also coded as primarily feminine qualities); his poverty; his language; his tendency to stand up for himself even against his friends; his insecurity) is a sure sign he would be bad to Hermione. Because there are two types of people: those who are inferior and those who aren’t! /s

They sincerely believe they’re elevating Hermione when they’re using her as Harry/Draco/Snape/Aragog’s token to redemption/happiness. Because they genuinely think Hermione should be “rewarded” with a man that outclasses her in the aspects of her life she prides herself on (her studies, her academics, her social justice ambitions). At the same time, they build up this whole narrative about how Ron would “want her to be another Molly, barefoot and pregnant all the time” to convince themselves that they really are Good Little Feminists.

All in all: when people write Hermione as Snape’s sex kitten, they do it because they believe that’s the best thing that can happen to her. But when they write Ron to bash him, it’s because they genuinely hate him. They want the worst to happen to him. They delight in his misery. They love it. Because they’re so blinded by their own lies and so convinced that “hurmion 2 gud 4 ron durrhurrhurr” that they think he deserves the most painful, humiliating things to happen to him.

That’s the difference. People pair Hermione with the most horrible people out of blind adoration for her. Those same people bash Ron as retribution for “defiling” their goddess.

The kind of “Hermione bashing” you refer to is done out of good sentiments. But Ron? He doesn’t get that sort of bashing; he’s reviled and hated for things he didn’t even do, because people can’t fucking comprehend that just because he acted badly at times doesn’t mean those actions define him. The bashing comes out of hatred and an unfounded, unfair desire for “justice” that is unwarranted in the first place.

That’s why I turn the tables and judge Hermione with the fandom’s absolutely impossible standards they only seem to apply to Ron and a select few others (Dumbledore, some of the Weasleys). To prove that no fucking human being could even hope to dream to meet those standards.

[stargazetheseries]

OPEN CASTING CALL FOR STARGAZE: “THE PILOT” EPISODE & TRAILER VISIT: https://stargazetheseries.com/casting-call/ FOR DETAILS OR READ BELOW: A Borken Creative Production Sept 27, 2021 STARGAZE is a queer campy sci-fi adventure short-form adventure series intended for OTT. Executive Producers: Jill Golick, Carrie Cutforth Director: Regan Latimer Writer: Carrie Cutforth Union: ACTRA TORONTO (NEW MEDIA) Shoot: The pilot will begin shooting for 5 to 6 days between October 25-Nov 17th, 2021 Location: Toronto STORYLINE: A disparate group of rookie oddballs join an elite squad commissioned to save the Queerverse (from itself) only to discover the STARGAZE program is a sham make-work initiative to keep the crew from rocking the boat by sending them out on a fool’s quest (led by two elder queer chaperones who despise each other). Think: A 2SLGBTQIA+ The Facts Of Life meets The Breakfast Club in space! *BIPOC STRONGLY ENCOURAGED TO APPLY **MUST BE 18+ TO SUBMIT EVEN IF CHARACTER IS LISTED AS YOUNGER THE STARTGAZE RECRUITS: SAF RON (she/her): Character is 20, cisgender woman, lesbian, open to all ethnicities; some physical comedy required. LEAD. Mad as hell and not going to take it anymore, Saf joins STARGAZE with high expectations. If the adults won’t save the day, she will… and finally get the credit she deserves! But can this lone wolf learn to connect with others, stop being a control freak, relax her unreasonably high expectations of others (and herself), and step into the leadership role for which she is destined? First, she’ll have to stop seeing anyone getting in her way as a mustache-twirling villain, learn to see her crewmates’ value, accept help, and open herself up vulnerably. Gets apoplectic when mad; Has a knack for creating very convoluted protest chants that no one can follow. WHIT SPRINKLES (he/him): Character is 19, cisgender man, gay, open to all ethnicities. Must be able to walk elegantly in high heels. LEAD. A social media influencer famous for his snarky and bitter ’reads,’ charismatic Whit has developed a parasocial relationship with his stans. Living life performing in the spotlight from a very young age, Whit has no idea who he really is, what his real interests are, or his beliefs outside of what his analytics tell him: “My fans are gonna love this!” Only joining STARGAZE under pressure from his stans, his inability to forge true intimate connections is exacerbated by his relationship with his mother/manager Mumsy Sprinkles, a talentless hack/narcissistic stage mother living her dreams through her kid. If Whit was a meme he would be: ‘Bitch, I dun give a fuck!’ But he does, indeed, give a fuck. ESSA T. HATCH (they/them): Character is 18, non-binary or agender, asexual, demiromantic, neurodivergent, open to all ethnicities. LEAD. Adorkable Essa is an introvert who doesn’t really ‘get’ people. The explorer among the crew with an engineering mind and a love of mapping places and spaces, they know every nook and cranny of the ship and are usually the first to forge ahead (i.e. wander off) on every expedition. Essa mostly wants to be left alone to their own devices because they actually prefer their own company (neurotypicals can be so exhausting!). This normally wouldn’t be such a problem except Essa was pressured to join STARGAZE to make friends and widen their social net out of parental concern (‘We won’t be around forever, Essa!’). Loves to knit, make Venn diagrams of relationships; speaks in emojis when emotionally drained. LEW D’SHUS (he/him): Character is 21, transgender man or transmasculine, pansexual, open to all ethnicities. LEAD. When babelicious Lew looks at you with his rapt attention and dreamy eyes, you feel like the only person in the ‘verse until his short attention span snaps away and he forgets you’re there. “Good vibes, only!” Lew will gladly give you your Tarot card reading, but not before taking the negative cards out first. With his strict ‘the universe is love, we are love,’ mantra, Lew never wants anyone to feel bad even when they are deadass wrong! His philosophy of

appeasement can cause conflict amongst the crew and his inability to take sides in crucial moments will often put them in danger. No, we cannot just hug everything out, Lew! CHRYSTRAH SNU (she/her): Character is 17 (must be 18+ to apply), cis-gender woman, identifies as ‘queer’ but just figuring it all out. LEAD. Chrystrah is a fresh-off-the-belt queer who has arrived with big expectations: ‘I’m here, I’m queer! Direct me to my spot on the rainbow carpet!’ The trauma of her homophobic upbringing has left Chrystrah without any real sense of self; her identity loosely held together like a fragile cracked egg. Any criticism, no matter how gentle, feels like an attack, causing Chrystrah to act abrasive, territorial, and defensive. She is always overcompensating in big bombastic ways because she feels so inadequate for not knowing the right words, behaviours, and codes. She is jealous of Saf (some might say obsessed) who does seem to get it all right. Fiercely loyal, Chrystrah is the first to run headlong into danger to save someone. She has a steep learning curve ahead. THE ELDER QUEER CHAPERONES: BAE TORGA (she/her): Character is late 30’s-early 40’s, cisgender woman, bisexual, bipolar, open to all ethnicities. PRINCIPAL. A war hero (or war criminal depending on who you ask), Bae sees STARGAZE as an opportunity to redeem herself in the eyes of former mentor and friend Oracle Cain. She is someone who struggles with self-loathing and self-doubt even though she’s spent her adulthood righting her past wrongs and reining in her bipolar disorder, which contributed to her past rash and reckless mistakes. Possessing a tough, gruff demeanor, Bae is outwardly sardonic but really a bleeding heart who holds back out of fear that any demonstration of affection and empathy will be seen as a commitment. ORACLE CAIN (she/her): Character is middle-aged or older, transgender woman, ambulatory wheelchair user or wheelchair user, open to all ethnicities. *Note, as this is sci-fi, younger than middle age may apply. PRINCIPAL. A founding figure of the Queerverse, Oracle has done her service, done her duty, and now she’s done. She wants a peaceful existence to guard her limited energy and manage her physical pain. Instead, she’s pulled out of retirement to command a ship full of bickering youths. She also has to contend with spoiled brat and former colleague Bae reminding her of the past that Oracle is trying hard to forget. But duty is duty and it’s not like complaining ever got her anywhere. Talking to Oracle can feel like playing a chess game where the aloof commander is always five steps ahead: you never quite know where you stand with her. ADDITIONAL CHARACTERS ELP WHIPP (they/them or xe/xem): Character is middle-aged or older, gender-fluid, open to all ethnicities. Leader of the coalition of non-profit planets (each with its own conflicting Gay Agenda) that rule the Queerverse, Elp Whipp is a career bureaucrat/bean-counter who often gets caught in the trappings of their own political web — meaning much of nothing ever gets accomplished and progress is never made. Elp will appear throughout the series in that ‘Dean of the school’ role, occasionally showing up to demand overdue reports, warn the crew that their funding is at risk, and generally throw a wrench in the works. CARDIGAN JACK (she/her): Character is 30s, cis-woman, lesbian, open to all ethnicities. Cardigan Jack is a ‘pussy-hat’ wearing neo-liberalist feminist with a pirate vibe. She is the ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ of TERFs, and Saf Ron’s nemesis. TO SUBMIT: Borken Creative is committed to diverse and inclusive casting. For every role, please submit qualified performers without regard to disability, race, age, colour, sexual orientation or gender identity, or any other basis prohibited by law, unless otherwise specifically indicated, subject to legitimate casting directives. DEADLINE: Oct 8, 2021 EMAIL: casting@stargazetheseries.com. SUBJECT LINE: Character(s) Role, Performer’s First and Last Name, pronouns. BODY OF EMAIL: Please provide contact info including phone number.

Please confirm you are 18 or over in the body of email if applying for a Stargaze recruit character. Submit headshot and resume as attachments to casting@stargazetheseries.com. Resume should be in a scannable text file format (such as .doc, .pdf, .txt). First round selects will be invited to submit either a video clip audition or zoom audition invite. Only successful candidates will be contacted.

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[inglourious-imagines]

The Captain's Knife (Ronald "Ron" Speirs)

Requested by: @satanslov3r

Summary: Dislike can turn into something more so quickly you barely realized your true feelings towards a certain Dog Company Captain.

Prompts: 48 - A knife? Are you flirting with me? & 69 - Yes, asshole, I do care about you

Author's Note: I've been dealing with some stuff lately and getting almost no inspo so I'm really sorry for not posting that much as usual. But I can assure you it'll be over soon. However, feel free to drop some requests in my ask box!

Taglist: @alienoresimagines @floydtab @eugenesmorphine @real-fans @meteora-fc @not-john-watsons-blog @band-of-brothers-cz @tealaquinn @ok-roemanov @mrseasycompany

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.

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"And in the end, we were all just humans... drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." - F.S. Fitzgerald 

It was an understatement to say that Y/N didn't like Captain Speirs. She disliked him so damn much, it slowly turned into hate even though she was thought her whole life not to have this kind of feeling towards people. But how could not she? With that prideful and arrogant behaviour?

It's such a paradox that this rather strong emotion can turn into even a stronger one pretty quickly.

•••

"I can't believe you just did that!" Malarkey exclaimed laughing as he patted her shoulder in admiration.

"Someone had to. His attitude really pisses me off." Y/N chuckled and took a long drag from the cigarette.

"You mean Speirs offered and you took it? Just like that?" Hoobler next to them joined the conversation and Malark nodded enthusiastically.

"Damn! Why did I have to take a piss?! I'd do anything to see his face." Hoobler giggled glancing at Speirs a few meters away. "Although you'd make a great couple."

"What? No!" Y/N screamed way too faster than she probably should trying to hide her sudden nervousness with a laugh.

"You'd be just the perfect match!" Malark encouraged Hoobler chuckling devilishly, "you're actually a bit like him."

"You guys are horrible." Y/N shook her head in disbelief but a hint of smile flashed over her face.

"Private Hoobler, Private Malarkey, Private Y/L/N. Stop just standing there, we're moving out!" suddenly a very familiar voice filled their ears and a very typical cigarette smoke flew around them in the air. Captain Ronald Speirs was standing right behind Y/N's back, his M1 Garand casually leaning against his arm. Y/N didn't know if it was for the teasing but the strong dislike inside of her for this soldier somehow disappeared for a moment and a warm feeling filled her chest instead.

"Oh and Private Y/N?" Speirs suddenly turned to the female paratrooper with the stern look of his, "I noticed before that you lost your knife during the jump. Found this one so here you go. Don't want my paratroopers go around not fully armed."

Y/N slowly accepted the weapon and put it in a case strapped to her leg blinking a few times trying to catch the real grasp of the situation.

"A knife? Really? Are you flirting with me?" she blurted out suddenly, her cheeks heating up a little.

"Oh c'mon, trooper. I might think you're blushing." the Captain winked at her sending her his typical smirk, then turned at his heel and walked away.

"He didn't deny it! I think he actually said yes in his Speirs kind of way!" Malark shouted out running around giggling like an idiot.

"Our ship is coming true, Don!" Hoobler laughed and highfived the soldier.

•••

Y/N didn't know if it was for the knife thing or the teasing or something just clicked in her, but Ronald Speirs appeared to her in a different light. He wasn't the proud cocky tough guy anymore but rather a brave quiet man with a hidden devil in him.

She was so uncertain about her own emotions and she didn't know how to handle them. Every time Y/N bumped into Speirs, he sent her a cheeky grin or a wink and exactly that wasn't helping her current situation. She didn't want those feeling, the least thing she desired was love in the middle of war but every look, every small conversation, every light touch they shared Y/N fell for the officer even more.

•••

"Just admit it, Y/N! You're into him! Now go and talk to him before this movie ends." George Luz encouraged her gesturing towards the Captain who was leaning against the wall a bit further from the others.

The thing was, she actually considered his offer, she really imagined herself walking up to this man.

"Oh god, you're so thinking about doing it!" Malarkey giggled nugging her side.

"If I do it, will you please leave me alone?" Y/N rolled her eyes at their behaviour but she could feel her hands trembling and heart beating fast.

The two boys nodded enthusiastically with huge grins on their faces. They looked like two little kids before Christmas.

It was one painful minute she had to undertake and Speirs was watching her all the time while she was walking right to him. Y/N didn't greeted the Captain but she put out a cigarette instead and while she was lighting it, she positioned herself right in the view of George and Donald behind her back. 

"Sorry to bother you, sir, but the boys wouldn't leave me alone until I get my ass over here and talk to you." Y/N spoke up as casually as she could swearing to herself she actually said 'ass' in front of him. 

"I just couldn't not overhear that conversation, Private." Ronald smirked taking a drag from his own cig, "so you're into me, hey?"

"Oh shut up." she snapped completely burying the rest of her boundaries.

"Seems like someone's in a grumpy mood."

"They haven't stop blabbing about you and me since the time you gave me that knife in Carentan. It's getting really annoying."

"Just admit it, you like it."

"What?"

Ronald Speirs was getting way too closer to her than she was ready for. His hand brushed over hers until he finally took it and squeezed it gently. At that point, Y/N's heart was beating so fast she was afraid it might actually jump out. The warmth radiated off his body and was capturing her with every lasted second like a snake wraps around a tree branch. There was no escape.

"Just relax, trooper. I might think you don't like me. Back." Speirs almost whispered leaning in some more.

"You really don't know when to shut your mouth, do you?" Y/N smirked tilting her head to the side.

"Let's head outside and I'll show you what my mouth can do."

"I can't say no to that, Captain. And for your information, yes, asshole, I do care about you."

[toujoursmiraculous]

Thoughts and Reactions to Truth!

Just going to go straight into it because this episode is huge! I really like how at the end of a season and the beginning of another, we see the same scene that leads us out of one and into another. Gabriel fixes the Miraculous and ohhh poor Dusuu thought it was all a dream, being in evil hands. So in a way, the Miraculous being damaged may have been a blessing for her. Dx Too bad it couldn't have been fixed after Marinette got it back :/ But at least Nooroo isn't alone right? Legit only positive I can get from this. ;-; Tikki and her little hats omg it's so cuuuute! I wonder if she makes her little clothes, too awww But the other Kwami's are almost like siblings to Tikki if you think about it. Now Tikki has to share things with them all as they cause chaos all around when she's so used to her quiet life alone with Marinette. Even for a Kwami, that must be hard to adjust to.

Okay so it's almost Prince Ali's birthday that Paris is going to celebrate. Interesting! I'd really like to see him back and a storyline with that. :O Marinette holding something, clearly, that the girls can't see over video chat. Talking to what appears to be herself, reacting to what someone's saying from different sides of her room. Camera flashes going off. And then her phone getting yeeted at her all on a video call with her friends when she's supposed to be alone...considering they're all going to have Kwami's and learn some things later as they become heroes, I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if they think back to this scene someday! OH WAIT spoiler for the upcoming episode Gang of Secrets!!! Fair warning. What if this episode with the plushies she said she's going to make, is one of if not the reason they go over and are looking around her room? Because she's been acting sus and they want to know what's going on. Especially after what happens later in the episode with Luka. Okay, back to the episode itself. Her friends observation: You're acting way weirder than normal.... IS ADRIEN AT YOUR PLACE?! I mean, fair point. xD But the thing is, whenever Marinette tends to act weirder or say/do things that Alya and the girls don't understand, it's almost always connected to her being Ladybug/Guardian. Even Lila. If she wasn't Ladybug and dealt with her so much as her, she wouldn't know a lot of things that made her not trust Lila to begin with. So Marinette has to overcompensate to try to hide everything or can't explain her thoughts or feelings about certain situations, so Alya always just assumes her behavior has something to do with Adrien. It really sucks but at the same time, what else is she going to think?

These Kwami are a lot of trouble. xD Now she's even more frazzled, so she calls Luka Adrien. More than once. I've done this where I call my siblings the wrong name more of than I'd like so I can't fault her for it. Her mind's probably a mess, poor girl. Dx "I'm sorry it's just that I cheated on you!" BIG OOF. But this gives me Kim Possible vibes when Ron assumed Kim didn't want him anymore and told her he was cheating on her when he meant to say he was cheating to be on the football team so he could be more worthy of her when he thought she wanted to "trade up" her boyfriend. Our poor Marinette! So frazzled she can't remember when her dates are, when they've been rescheduled. She can't remember her patrols with Chat Noir which are really important. She's getting to the point where it's going to be a wonder she can even function. Dx "But Marinette and I are such a big fan of his" wow this sure hits different. The way they kept quizzing each other to finish the sentence with Jagged Stone trivia was pretty cute. Luka having her finish the line with "Kiss me" that she screamed to the entire theater made me choke on my cake. "Well, if that's what you want." Smooth. "I think, yes. I want to." But you know, it gets interrupted by an akuma attack of course because that's just the way things work! :D And wouldn't you know it, it's Mr. Pigeon. AGAIN. Totally worth interrupting the moment lol Ladybug can't pick and choose, however, so here comes the sequence where she's constantly running off and he starts doubting her. Notice the parallel when Marinette started to like Luka after Adrien could never show up to things? Now Marinette's having trouble showing up and Luka's having issues with it. The second Chat Noir started to sneak up on Ladybug, we all knew he was going to get flipped. But it's so adorable and funny at the same time I love it x333 And that whole scene there of Ladynoir. Obviously it's a Lukanette-centered episode but the Ladynoir in this episode! So good! And you know, it's interesting. First time we see Adrien this episode is for FIVE whole seconds! And the way it abruptly cut off as he opened the car door... yeah you know what, Lies is going to be Adrien's POV or something of this same day. It has to be. He has 2 total scenes one of them is 5 seconds and the other one is 2 seconds. Crazy. We got about 7 seconds of Adrien's face today woo! But ugh here's where we get hurt Luka ;-; "A girl, who as always, isn't here." Ouch. The fact that if Marinette said she loved Adrien still, he'd understand and he'd get it is so sweet, and so sad that it's not even because of that, it's because she's Ladybug and the Guardian and she can't say a thing about it to him at all, that he can't accept. It's the one thing he couldn't deal with that's the issue and that really sucks. AND THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE HAD ME GASPING AND HURTING FOR LUKA. IT'S THE MOMENT HIS HEART BROKE

But also really guys, did you notice his eyes are different now? Almost like a blue diamond look or something.

Luka trying to fight it, trying to tell Hawk Moth that the truth needs to be willingly told, not forced. But stupid Hawk Moth's able to get him to hold on anyway and gets akumatized. But not before he told Marinette to run. Which was such an awwww moment. x33 I mean, this is definitely getting a bit close to Chat Blanc territory if you ask me. New transformation music is pretty good! I like it. Also can we just appreciate that instead of trying to track down Marinette to get the truth from her, he's instead asking all her friends and family, pretty much any source besides her? AND ROSE'S RESPONSE "Marinette has no secrets because she's the most honest girl in the world!" She thinks so highly of her and it's just so beautiful. Nobody would blame her for these secrets if they only knew either. But awwwwww I love this scene!! And here's the big reveal! (no not that one) Jagged Stone is Luka and Juleka's father. 😮

Thomas today tweeted that Luka and Juleka are twins. Which would have to be fairly obvious after this reveal. There's no way that Jagged, who says he'd be a lame dad and left because he wasn't cut out for it, would have Luka with Anarka, then stay long enough to also have Juleka. I also totally forgot that in the French version, Jagged has an American accent when he speaks. XDD Just the fact that even WITH his truth powers, he asked his mother TWICE who his father was. Both times she said Jagged Stone. He still didn't believe it until he went to Jagged himself omg. This poor poor boy. Luka: 😱*gasp* Marinette: 😲 *gasp* Adrien: 😮 WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY OMG. LIKE I'M WATCHING A TELENOVELA OR SOMETHING. THEY EVEN ZOOMED IN ON THEIR REACTIONS I CAN'T And then Luka just yeets his dad because he wasn't ever there for him. I honestly did not expect Luka having dad issues to ever be a thing in this show, even though I knew he wasn't around. So like... when everything's worked out with Marinette and Adrien in the end, will Luka and Adrien end up becoming friends and bonding over things, like the whole daddy issues thing...? Are we really supposed to believe she has no feelings for Chat Noir? I mean really, look at this.

"I can't imagine what your daily life must look like" ... is she really actually being the one to bring up something about his secret identity? With that face? 😲

Their flirty banter that at this point I don't even think they realize it is, and those soft looks I just... My top ship is Ladynoir and I was not expecting any significant moments of theirs but I got it anyway. Just watching their scenes, I kept going "See, this is why they're meant for each other." My heart is happy despite all the Luka pain! It's helping me cope with it, okay? "When you're ready, I'll be here for you, Marinette." Awww so they're telling us Lukanette is on hold here. Not a guarantee, but at least on hold. He's an option for her later. So now the Adrienette vs. Lukanette for S4 we heard about awhile back makes sense now. Later on this season, probably when things calm down and she gets the hang of things, she'll be in a better position to be with someone. And by then, Adrien will probably realize and understand his feelings for Marinette. So then she'll be in a position to choose between them. Now we know where Luka gets his ability to turn emotions into great songs. That's adorable! Father-son bonding! Gabriel needs to take notes when a man who was never in his son's life as more than his idol has the ability to try to be there, but Gabriel can't. Ugh our poor Marinette, probably thinking she's going to be alone for a very long time just because of a supervillain. That's so wrong she has to feel like this. If you notice, Hawk Moth's akumatizations help people patch up relationships so much of the time as a weird unexpected result of an akuma attack. And yet, he does nothing but hurt Marinette and at times Adrien, the most when he akumatizes people. He makes me so angry! But I'm too tired for a rant about that. At least the Kwami hugs at the end helped a teeny bit anyway! c:

[weasleymarauders]

my ships and why i ship them:

(not in any particular order)

Hinny:

they just balance each other out perfectly. they were unexpected but not unwanted (by most people) and they have lots of similarities. they have great chemistry and they are a great ship.

Romione:

their build-up was phenomenal. I love the dynamic, the smart amazing [?] girl ending up witn the sidekick who not everyone loves, instead of the hero. Ron has protected Hermione so many times and he won over her heart. I could go on and on about why I love romione.

Wolfstar:

there's lots of wolfstar evidence (just search some up) and I think they really fit together. I know everyone's main counter argument is that sirius wasn't gay, but come on. when you look at sirius black, do you seriously see a straight man? and remus totally has a thing for shapeshifting, cool members of the black family with great hair. (plus remus is literally the moon to sirius's stars and you have to admit thats really cute)

Hedric:

you can't really explain this ship, but you can't hate it without looking into it first. I am a strong supporter of the headcanon where harry had a crush on cedric, and it's not that hard to believe. plus I think they would be really good together, even if the relationship isn't long term, which I dont see happening. I definitely only see them as a short-term school relationship.

Ronarry

I obviously still prefer hinny and romione, but ronarry isn't all that bad. there isn't much ronarry evidence except for the fact that Ron was what harry would miss most, but if you look into it, it's not all bad. plus who knows what they got down to in the tent during DH

Drarry

erm... well... I dont ship this one too much, but I can't say I dont ship it. it's not bad, but its not all amazing either. I used to be the biggest drarry stan until I realized how toxic the community can be sometimes, no offense, so I didn't ship it too much. there isn't too much evidence for drarry, except for some line JKR wrote in half blood prince about harry being obsessed with draco malfoy. I still don't see that as evidence however.

Bleur

if you want to know why I ship bleur, read half blood prince. especially the part where fleur said she wanted to marry Bill regardless of him having been bitten by a werewolf.

Jily

their love story is just so beautiful. I know at first lily hated James, but I love how they got more comfortable and Lily started to fall for him. they had a healthy amazing relationship until they died young together and I think that's beautiful. I would much rather ship Lily with a sweet boy who makes mistakes like any normal teenager, rather then a grumpy teacher who bullies children and was creepily obsessed with Lily.

(like I said, I respect people who stan snape, but I just don't like him.)

Nuna

do they seriously need explanation ????

[senseandaccountability]

If you'll take another one from the poetry prompts, how about #50 (“With a memory all fragmented but inclined to miracles”)?

Small secret spaces  Iron Bull’s Tamassran reflects on the boy she raised.  Also on AO3: here

This is soft, okay? I’m soft for tiny babies and their not-mothers. * * *

They call her Aqun, a nickname that sticks through the years, though to all the children in her care, her flock of imekari, she is Tama. Tama with the stories, with the stern reprimands, with the cool hands in the middle of a sweaty nightmare. Some of the women work with paper and quill, some with breeding administration, yet some can be found in the temples and the hospital wings tending to those with the broken minds that qamak leaves behind. She has friends that re-educate and friends that deal with nothing but death, its final stages, its remains, its practical matters. Aqun considers herself lucky that her place is to work at the other end of things. Imekari are life, messy, brutal life that shakes her up every day, at every turn. It keeps her awake, it smashes her heart open. She will lose them. She will lose them all, but some will carry pieces of her with them as they go; it’s a thought that sits well with her, a flash of pride that she allows herself. A Tamassran’s job is to evaluate and educate; she isn’t meant to have favourites but she always has. She considers it a rebellion, a reward, or both. * Ashkaari is a big baby, arrives loud and dark-haired and screams for half a day when they place him in her arms. He’s the genealogical product of a Sten, now lost to glorious battle, asit tal-eb, and a re-educator nicknamed Asta though Aqun does not know this. The Tamassrans in charge of recording never show her the notes of the children given to her house. It would cloud her judgement, upset the scales. Aptitude triumphs over inheritance, as it must in any civilized society. Because he will not settle at night she rubs his back and stomach, sings to him to drown the screaming. He is meant to cry it out, they all are; infancy is a test, one of her old instructors echoes in her memory. But Aqun’s head hurts from listening, so she sings. A made-up song of a made-up nug, the king of all nugs, living in a cave. She feeds him another bottle of milk, mutters a rhyme she vaguely recalls from her own childhood and places her mouth against the crown of his head. A snug little nug, small as a bug. The baby looks at her, blinks, and falls asleep. The warm weight of him in her arms, the softness to his mouth, his tiny fists against her palm. That swelling in her chest, its terrible gentleness. The Qunari don’t have motherhood; she understands why.

* The streets boil in the afternoon heat but the heart of the classroom is cooled by heavy stone and clever architecture. Some of the smaller children shiver as they huddle over the letters, painstakingly forming them with mouth and quills. Baqo sits near Ashkaari and Vasaad, one head shorter than the boys but her mind is sharper, her feet faster, her capacity for mischief endless. They love her, magnificently; Vasaad and Ashkaari would both lay down their lives for the troublemaker with the red eyes. Words have always wielded themselves easily out of her,  her mind is strong and supple and she makes up stories where the Qun ends, follows its logical conclusions into tales of dragons and war, of ancient times and endless knowledge. “Tell me about the green dragons in the desert again,” Ashkaari implores, big and towering but gentle, his hands shields rather than weapons. He’s apt at storytelling himself, prone to the fantastic and the untrue. Vasaad heeds them both, moving around them like a protector.

Tama allows them slices of freedom when she can. Moments of play, of pretends. Soon enough they reach their true calling and get scattered across the North but days like today, there are green dragons and friendship, willfully blind eyes and make-believe. *

The Arvaarad comes for Baqo only months later, in the middle of the day, as the other children make equations and build models. Four men march in and lift her up, without a word. Her eyes are wide with fear, her mouth open in a silent scream and Vasaad holds Ashkaari back - or perhaps it’s the other way around, perhaps it will never truly matter. They are two now where they used to be three. Aqun shoves the children back into the classroom, hands on their shoulders, their backs. Herding them like cattle. It’s not a bad metaphor; cattle, too, are meant to serve. “She will serve the Qun with honour,” she tells Ashkaari; his eyes are narrow and dark. “She has found her purpose,” she tells Vasaad who stares back at her, his lower lip trembling. They do not cry over saarebas, she reminds them. They do not cry over finding one’s place, wherever and however that place may appear. The one who was called Baqo takes the chains, takes the stitches and Aqun thinks she can feel them, every single one. 

*

The one who was called Ashkaari becomes Hissrad, becomes a grown man so tall and broad of shoulder that Aqun ages a decade just looking at him. He still calls her Tama, still comes by to see her though he has no reason for it anymore. She tells him this once and he scoffs. They share a mindset, she knows, a flair for the inappropriate, a disregard for the brutality of absolute truths. Some days she thinks that it is her greatest failing that she has allowed it to slip into him, a poison in his soul. 

* She learns that Hissrad has been given command. That he’s tracking down Tal-Vashoth. That he’s transferred to Seheron. What an honour, she says to everyone who needs to hear it. Basks in the knowledge that she had been right, that she had seen the boy’s cleverness behind those fists, the sharp wit inside the body of a warrior. The other Tamassrans nod and tut, the way they do. All of them know there is also regret, unspoken, treacherous regret for every name they put down on the lists for the positions that will take their imekari far away, into danger and death. The one that was called Ashkaari, who slept soft-faced and defenseless in her arms when no one was looking, takes the orders he is given and Aqun thinks she can feel them, every single one, the devastation of them rattling inside her chest. * Once, he comes to visit.  He’s in Par Vollen, temporarily liberated of the burdens of Seheron, his face cut in stone but his embrace is tight and warm and Aqun smiles into the crook of his neck when he lifts her up from the ground. He’s brought cocoa beans and spices; she makes supper and refrains from staring at him like an overbearing old Tama. They don’t speak much at all; he stays the rest of the day. * Once, in the Viddathlok of Qunandar, she sees him when he has returned. He’s shipped from the island of asala-taar like a caged beast, rumour has it; he arrives in chains and is accompanied by soldiers on each side of him. The gossip is unremorseful, crisp, but it tastes of ashes. They had found him surrounded by so many dead they had lost count. That’s a lie, Aqun knows, they always count. The Qun is nothing if not a balance. Ashkaari who used to fear demons, his teeth clattering in the dark, his hands tugging at hers. They get inside your mind, he says. I don’t know how to hit things that live in my head. Hissrad who spends two months with the re-educators but they refuse his request for qamak. It’s partly her fault that they send him off, his faith broken and his mind all fragmented but inclined to miracles. The one that got away. * The one who was called Hissrad becomes the Iron Bull and Aqun first hears it in the queue outside the baker, waiting for her daily bread, then from an agent with red eyes and a hoarse voice. 

She hears it and all the way home, her heart hammers the rhythm of the words. He got away, he got away. The Ben-Hassrath agents frown over her, towering like conquerors before a bas and Aqun looks them in the eyes and says: “yes, I failed. I should have seen. He was unfit for the job. I will do better, allow me to make amends.” Says it, while she thinks run, Ashkaari, there is much to struggle against, you always knew. There’s a note, deep and low, singing of her own defiance and she thinks one of the agents can hear it because he holds her gaze for so long Aqun begins to prepare for her own re-education. Then he lets her go. She’s old, she’s beginning to lose her rough edges and her patience shrinks with every passing day, they don’t count on her to rectify her mistake; they let her go. They will go after him instead. * Years later, she hears the news in the streets outside the market. This time, no one deems her in a position to have the reports so she has to make do with gossip. They tell her the attack that Par Vollen loudly condemns while sending resources to Orlais, sneaking ships and coin past all boundaries, has been a failure. That the Inquisition still has the Tal-Vashoth in their midst, that he had not listened to reason or respected the chain of command. They tell her the Viddasala’s direct orders had been refused by the one they once called Hissrad. Nothing but a savage now. His soul is dust. He’s lost.  The words sound like curses but they fall like relief in Aqun’s chest, fall like tears on her aging hands that used to hold him. She has educated her last flock of imekari, told her last batch of night time stories. They have been so many, her body is full of their voices, their faces, their nicknames. She has been theirs. Some of them, like Ashkaari, have been hers. She will lose them all but some will carry pieces of her as they go and she has given him her heart, as much of it as he has ever dared to give and loved him in all the small, secret spaces she was never allowed.

[glamourweaver]

@pdestructor​ @it-fits-i-ships​ @ur-typical-fanghurl ​ @ron-stepupable

I tried making a response post on my original post , but I don’t know if it went through as I don’t see it on notes, so doing this as it’s own post to double check.

This will probably be rambly covering various points that keep going through my head -

(A) I’m in season 3 now, and I knew the betrayal/Gothel-reveal was coming because of tumblr osmosis from back when it aired, but it still hit me way harder than expected, especially the flashback scene in the House of Yesterday’s Tomorrows, which I keep rewatching and breaking my own heart.  It probably hits extra hard having a baby girl myself now.

Out of curiosity, for those watching at the time, what was the wait between seeing the betrayal and finding out what happened in the House of Yesterday’s Tomorrows?  Was the truth about her parentage suspected or leaked earlier?

(B) It’s frustrating knowing that I won’t get the full catharsis I want for Cass, spoiled as I am now by SPoP (... it’s actually kind of amazing given the timing prevents either from influencing the other that we have are two central female leads sharing an abusive mother figure, with the one with a villain arc perceiving the hero as having been given the love she deserved, while also being really gay for said hero).  And I know like the Varian spin-off Disney didn’t greenlight, Cass getting a spin-off, even in comics, isn’t going to happen, even though obviously her narrative kind of demands she get to standalone as a protagonist after all this! :( :( :( :(

(C) With You By My Side is the most polyam thing to ever happen in kid-aimed animated history.  Like... it’s actively insane how blatant it is and got past Disney.  Particularly since all they had to do to diminish that was include Lance.

(D) But that would require they treat Lance as a character who mattered, so that wasn’t going to happen.  If I could draw, I’d make a fan comic of Lance and Shorty standing back on the cliff waiting for the three to finish.

(There’s an extended rant I won’t go on right now about how the writers have absolutely no idea what to do with Lance, and he literally less narratively relevant than Hook-Foot and Shorty in Season 2 - where’s his version of Waiting in the Wings?!  Though i guess while it sucks for fans of color, diegetically unlike Cass, Lance is probably glad to be spared the drama of central protagonism, and it gives him for freedom to relax)

(E) Speaking of said ignored side characters, kind of funny how they never come up as possible traitors at the end of season 2.  Like imagine if instead of Cass’s hand that shot out, it was Shorty’s, and it was revealed he stowed away the whole time pretending to be oblivious to the world around him as a long con to act as spy for his dark master?!

(F) I hate Eugene being a lost prince.  I was hoping he’d find out about his own past/parentage, but given that Rapunzel is already a discovered lost princess, its just redundant on Eugene, and diminishes his role as commoner hero.  It also feels tacked on to have served the decoy so Cass actually going through with the betrayal wouldn’t be as obvious.  I do like his complicated dynamic with his dad in Season 3, but they could have gotten that without his dad being a king.

(G) I hope we see some confrontation with Cass’ dad (as in the man who raised her, not her mystery bio-dad) over him having known the whole time about who her mother was and having kept it a secret even while Cass became Lady in Waiting to the very princess who Gothel stole that night.  I mean, I don’t think it’s a plot hole - it makes sense he thought hiding it was in Cass’ best interests, but I hope it COMES UP.

(H) If there were a continuation of the series with Cass (I know its a pipe dream), since Disney (based on Owl House) may now be at a point where they allow a character who is not a member of the princess line to be confirmed lgbt, but we’re obviously no where near them allowing a member of the Princess-line to be bi and polyamorous, it crossed my mind thinking about Cass finding reciprocated romantic love on screen.... Lady Caine deserves a redemption arc, and could learn a thing or two from Cass about misdirecting legitimate anger, and Cass could learn a thing or two from her about how the “justice system” she was raised to idealize is deeply flawed, as her own redemption without prison sentence shows.  So I’ve kind of accidentally started shipping it.

I can’t help but imagine the first time something physical happened between them it would be in the middle of a sword fight that got out of hand.

[astharoshebarvon]

Good books

Almost a year later, I finally got Ten Count volume 6. I had to give myself a pep talk that it doesn’t matter if the bitch is part of the volume, just forget about her horrendous self.

In the end, my love for Kurose and Shirotani won and I bought it.

I am just so happy to have it in my hands!!! I love this manga so much! I can’t put into words how much I adore this series.

I also got Ameiro Paradox/ Candy Colour Paradox because I love that too. It’s funny as hell and is a wonderful read.

Did I mention how excited I am for Ten Count anime and Given movie? I can’t tell how thrilled I am that Given is getting a movie. I don’t know how many times I cried seeing Given anime, and the lyrics of the title song— just drive a knife through my heart why don’t you.

Fair warning, I am going to vent now. These are just some things which I don’t like in the slightest in stories and fandoms. If someone does, fine. Just remember, everyone doesn’t.

Let’s start with Ten Count. I saw some comments on a manga site that literally said the bitch ( I am not going to dignify her with a name. The slut doesn’t deserve it )  looked nice standing next to Kurose.

–She is cute even if she is evil.

–Yeah, I get what you mean. They look nice together.

I was shocked. I was so shocked. I was at a loss for words. Just because she is a girl some people are ready to forgive her for what she did and say ridiculous things like these. She ruined Shirotani in every way possible. How can someone even say that? I can’t put into words how disgusted I felt when I read that.

Do people even realise what OCD is? It’s not something to laugh about. What she and Shirotani’s father did, it wasn’t okay. I am glad Shirotani at least got the courage to talk to his father but that doesn’t erase the father was in the wrong too. Wasn’t he fucking a student?

My main problem is, why can’t people accept that some female characters are horrible?  What’s with this crap of not calling bad fem characters bad? And she wasn’t even good looking, she was creepy.

The girlfriend of Halstead in Kyou Koi wo Hajimemasu, she was a monster. She actually said Kyouta tried to force himself on her when he didn’t do shit. She was the one coming onto him like some slag. She destroyed two boys friendship and what, we shouldn’t say she was bad because she is a girl. She was horrible.

I adore Hinohara Meguru’s works, I really do. I love love love Secret XXX and I am definitely going to buy it next April when it’s released. I adore Itsuki and Shouhei so much !!!

I will buy Therapy Game too because I love it. I am hoping Kamisama will be licensed soon. I really want to buy it. Rin is so darn nice, he has to be with Chiharu.

But whatever nonsense that was shown between Yuka and Shizuma—it’s unrealistic.

People don’t even look at people like Yuka after they break up with them. Regardless of the fact they are in same college or work at a same place.

It’s pathetic at best the way Shizuma says he is weak to her voice.

Not to mention she was a fucking stalker and what? They are friends? Even after what she did?

She was sleeping with someone else and they are still friends. She cheated on him, hurt him emotionally, hurt his feelings and he still talks to her.

Wow.

That’s not how the world works for any relationship.

Get out of here.

She was a bitch and I have a very bad feeling she and Shizuma’s other coworkers will create problems for him and Minato in the sequel being serialised now. Minato was so uncomfortable in the first chapter.

I don’t understand why no one said this is not reality. This is stupid.

If you want to defend female characters even if they are horrible and bad, fine.

But then, you shouldn’t write things like these :  “This shows reality of gay couples.”

Pick up any tragic yaoi/shonen ai where one half of a couple marries a woman and the other is left alone. The reviews of the story have this line.

Those works are praised and applauded. Why? Is that really the reality of all same sex couples? Or are you just happy that one male got to be with a female.

If some people like reality so much, they should just go and see the news.

This reality factor isn’t present when female characters do horrendous shit (Yuka’s case). I didn’t see people saying, this is bull. Why does he even talk to her? And what the fuck does he mean by he is weak to her voice?

Dude, seriously. She cheated on you and you are weak to her voice????

This nonsense is present everywhere. Movies, books, novels, anime, manga.

Take Vampire knight for example. 

The author should have been honest and said somewhere along the line she started shipping Zero and Kaname, but since Yuuki is the main girl she couldn’t put the two boys together. Zero/Kaname is a far better ship than Zeki or whatever Airen thing the author is trying to show now. It’s laughable at best, both Zeki and Airen.

I don’t like Ai, she loved Zero and now she is after his daughter. It’s weird.

Just because Ai is yume’s daughter doesn’t mean she is wonderful. I don’t like her or Ren.

You know what, it’s not even about like. I feel nothing for them. When I saw the new cover, I was like, yeah, it’s very pretty, and it’s very sweet. I am going to save the larger version when it becomes available.

That’s it.  I could care less whether they are together or not. 

 Maybe there is a reason for Ai’s stupidity. She was raised among losers like Ruka and Aidou. Is it any wonder she ended up being weird as hell?

Ruka Souen was a horrible character, she was disgusting and I don’t understand why her husband, Akatsuki always threatened Kaname instead of talking to his oh so great love.

Dude, tell your girl to stop trying to get another woman’s man’s attention. Kaname doesn’t give a fuck about anyone except Yuuki Kuran, his love of life.

Ruka and Aidou were pathetic. The fucker even encouraged Zero to take Yuuki from Kaname, and this was supposed to be Kaname’s friend.

Yeah right. Hell, all of Kaname’s so called friends told Zero and Yuuki to get together, except, Takuma.

Have I mentioned how much I love the guy? He is the only real friend of Kaname. He had guts to say to both Zero and Yuuki what would they do if he said he had some reservations about their relationship. He brushed it off later though but at least he said it.

Except for Yuuki, Takuma and Seiren, Kaname held no feelings for anyone in this whole goddamn manga.

The only reason I am still reading this series is because I want my Yume happy ending.

Canon is shitty many times. Don’t force people to like a story or a movie. Or everything that happens in a story. Sometimes one just doesn’t like some things.

Whatever nonsense that was shown in avengers endgame (Steve–Peggy ). That was disgusting. It made my mother and me so uncomfortable that we didn’t even bother going and seeing the movie again. I saw infinity war twice but endgame – it was a horror fest.

If the movie makers wanted to show Steve with a woman that badly, well, Sharon and Natasha were right there. Why Peggy? It didn’t make sense and came off as creepy and gross. We get it, they became so scared of Stucky’s popularity that they had to show Steve with a woman. We get it.

For all three CA movies, Steve was all Bucky, Bucky, and Bucky. That’s it.

And he didn’t even talk to him in endgame. Right.

Steve/Nat was a good ship, they could have been together but what we got was some gross uncle - aunt - niece shit. Steve kissed Sharon right after Peggy’s funeral, that’s a fact. Where did his love go then?

Then again, this is the same character (Steve Rogers) who married female Tony Stark in one universe but otherwise fights with all male Tony’s.

God, could the writers get any more homophobic? Or maybe Steve saw Natasha Stark as a replacement for Peggy Carter too. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. Brunettes, women.

Yeah, that does make sense.

That’s why I hate when people genderbent one half of a slash couple. It’s inherently homophobic. Stop trying to justify your reasons. Don’t give ridiculous excuses like you wanted diversity and all that crap. You are only making yourself look stupid and dumb.

This rubbish need for diversity never arose with FM couples. So, please don’t.

Where are Female Tony and Male Pepper fics, where are Female Clint and Male Natasha fics? Oh, sorry, they don’t exist. Neither do female Tony and Pepper.

If they do, they aren’t that popular. And I am sure female Clint and Natasha doesn’t exist.

But one can find plenty female Bilbo, female Harry, female Tony fics. All these OC females paired with males. They are OFC. They aren’t real.

Some people just can’t accept them (Thorin/Bilbo, Steve/ Tony) as an MM slash ship so they change their gender.

It’s MM Slash. No matter how many times you write in fics, this is Fem Harry, this is Fem Tony, Harry is a girl. This is not slash in capitals.

Stop.

You are only coming off as desperate, nothing more.

Stop trying to undermine the MM slash ship. It’s a slash ship, it will always be slash.

Is there any female Ron and male Hermione story? Yeah, Granger wouldn’t look like a God now would she if Male Hermione attacked female Ron because Ron didn’t want to date him?

Another example.

Let’s turn Merope Gaunt into a man and have him rape Tom Riddle Sr who is a female. No one would give a fuck if Merope was abused then. Merope raped Tom Riddle Sr and I am still astounded by the fact she was portrayed as a tragic figure while Tom Riddle Sr was shown as arrogant.

Excuse me?

Nobody cared about him in the books. Did he deserve to get raped for months by Merope because he was what? A man? Arrogant? Fuck off.

Since she was abused that gave her the freedom to douse the man with Amortentia for months to make herself happy. What rubbish excuse is that?

He owed her nothing. If she was abused, that doesn’t mean he was obligated to like her or care for her. And after what she did to him, he made a wise decision to run away from her.

Merope Gaunt traumatized Tom Riddle Sr. The man never married, even after escaping from her. His fate was even worse than Merope’s.

I can’t believe that this was completely swept under the rug. No one felt sorry for the man. All sympathies were for Merope.

Many things in HP don’t make sense. Couples, characters, their decisions etc.

Its fine if many people love it but there are many who don’t like it too. Stop trying to tell everyone what they should like or not. If someone doesn’t, respect that.

Genderbending one half of a slash couple is annoying and irritating. It’s homophobic and will remain that. All the dominant male keeps on saying in those dumb fics is how much they want to fuck the female/genderment male or are enamored with her chest and body. It’s revolting to even read that.

And of course they want lots of babies. That’s a must. Hetero sex and babies. That’s the crux of almost all gender bent fics. The dominant male wants to see the OFC with his babies.

Great!

Slash haters don’t hate this, do they? Isn’t this fetishizing female anatomy? Or have you actually deluded yourself into thinking female Bilbo and female Harry exists. 

They don’t.

Harry Potter is a boy, so is Bilbo Baggins. Hell, Tony Stark is a man except for in one universe.

Steve can’t fall in love with Tony if he is a male. What did he fell for then? Fem Tony’s body?

Gender bent isn’t even crack, its worse than crack. Either these original character females are docile and nice or are BAMF’s like anything.

And don’t say don’t read if you don’t like it. Why not? Why shouldn’t we make fun of these stories?

These same people have the audacity to whine about slash ships on many platforms. Even in FM stories MM is not shown as something normal. I’ve come across many FM stories which literally made me want to throw something at the screen. Some were blatantly insulting to same sex relationships.

And let’s not forget genderbent FM stories which have this rubbish line: we are okay with fem slash, but not with MM slash.

Okay, fine. Good.

What the hell does that even mean?

Hmm, maybe that’s why genderbent FF couples don’t exist. This change is only meant for MM.

Right. Wonderful.

Yikes !

This ridiculous sentence is written on many fic writers profile and these same people changed one half of a MM slash couple into a female, with this lovely sentence at the beginning of their stories: This is not slash. It’s not SLASH. We can’t stress enough, it’s not slash!

How many times do these people  have to tell themselves that it’s not slash?

It’s MM slash and will always be that.

[suhmayzooka]

cursed child broadway, December 28, 2019

my sister (S) and i were fortunate enough to get tickets for the third row, right by the aisle, making us right in the center.  I was a bit worried about the seats being so close to the stage, but it was absolutely amazing to be so close to the action. it was immersive, and i felt like i was part of the action.

S is my polar opposite.  she’s not a potterhead, for starters, and likes to call me (and everyone else in the theater, especially those in cosplay) a loser.  she’s heavily involved with her school’s theater -- acting and stage crew -- and i call her a theater nerd.  she’s an aspiring actress, and almost gave my mom a heart attack when she announced her plan to study acting in college (they compromised, and now S intends to major in psychology in addition to acting).  i didn’t know she was interested in cursed child since she eschews all ‘nerdy’ things, but she said that she ‘wanted to see how bad it was.’

she’s been the only extrovert in our family since she was born. she’s a hatstall between gryffindor and slytherin (although she identifies with the lion).  if you’re reading this, i’m assuming you like cursed child and perhaps are involved with the fandom.  ever read the tea time series on ao3? S is lily luna.  she’s the embodiment of how everyone writes lily luna.  she cursed out our dad a few days ago.  she made me spend the equivalent of two hours of work on fucking soda and popcorn because she didn’t listen to me when i told her to pack a clif bar.  this is what i put up with.

she actually enjoyed the show!  i was shocked.  she loved the effects.

after part one, she turned to me and went, “please just tell me one thing: do albus or scorpius die?”

i was surprised by her question.

she explained: “because at this point all i care about is their romance, and if they don’t get together or if they die i’m leaving the theater.”

this is coming from someone who ranted to me about how she doesn’t understand why people ship non-canon pairings since ‘not every friendship has to be romance.’ and here she was genuinely invested in scorbus? my heart…

i’m a good big sister, so i told her really vague statements like “our heroes will find themselves in danger several times during this act...” “one person’s pain is used to inflict pain on the other” and similar things.  eventually, she became convinced that scorpius would be revealed to be voldemort’s son and harry would accidentally kill him. not sure how she came up with that.

i guess everyone caught the plague? the coughing would Not stop.  S started making fun of them. and it’s like...everyone was a-okay during wand dance.  there were no coughs in the opening choreography for part two.  no, everyone had to succumb to coughing fits during the quiet, emotional moments.

“i always wanted a best mate to get up to mayhem with--”

COUGHCOUGHPHLEGMCOUGHHACKHACKHACKPHLEGMPHELGMCOUGHCOUGH

“--you’re my best friend--”

COUGHCOUGHPHLEGMCOUGHHACKHACKHACKPHLEGMPHELGMCOUGHCOUGH

for every. emotional. scene. maybe they were choked up on their tears.

at the last minute we decided to do stage door.  as in, we had already left the theater, saw the line outside, and were like, “sure.” unfortunately we had left our playbills in the theater since my hands were occupied holding her soda and popcorn since apparently she’s incapable of doing so…

i’m using google and my shitty facial recognition to remember who was who.  we (she) spoke to zell steele morrow (young harry), karen janes woditsch (mcgonagall), nadia brown (rose), james snyder (harry), and nicholas podany (albus).  unfortunately, we had to catch our train and left just as jonno roberts (draco) came out :( i think he was S’s favorite.

anyway here are my (our) thoughts:

1. Characters

~nicholas podany is a really good albus! he’s very mischievous, and you can see the wheels in his head turning as he comes up with his (increasingly more ridiculous) plans.  whenever he comes up with an idea he looks at scorpius like :O and it gets funnier as the play goes on.

~bubba weiler is a lot of fun. he’s very physical actor, and he really hams it up.  his scorpius is meant to be seen rather than read.  most of the comic relief is written for scorpius, and there seemed to be roars of laughter after every other line.  he shook his hips at “MALFOOYYYY THE UNAANXIOUSSS” and (exaggeratedly) pretended to march in place for “MY GEEKNESS IS A-QUIVERING!!” he purred at rose.  he flailed his entire body around when he was crucio-d :( one thing i noticed was how he carried himself.  scorpius spent a lot of time sitting hunched over, rocking slightly back and forth (most noticeable when he was introduced, but he hunched over and rocked on the staircase several times as well). when he stands he’s rubbing his thumbs or the hems of his robes.  his leg was bouncing nonstop in the library scene.  anyway what i’m trying to say is scorpius malfoy is neurodivergent. ableists don’t interact.

~for some reason S says that both scorpius and albus are unlikeable, but they’re cute together.  she was very proud when scorpius yelled at albus for being “the most terrible friend.”

~the chemistry between scorbus is There. it’s clear podany and weiler are close friends irl; they’re extremely comfortable together and play off each other really well.  

~matt mueller is great as ron. he works well with what he’s been given...not his fault thorne/tiffany decided to make ron a caricature with very little resemblance to canon ron...but that’s a rant for another day :] he’s delightful on stage.  he’s funny and charming.

~i’ll admit i wasn’t really feeling jenny jules as hermione, at least in part one.  she’s really playful, especially in the scene in her office where she offers harry a “to~fee~!” she was really great in the dark timeline, however.

~my romione heart

~the man himself, james snyder as harry potter!  was um, very shouty? very angry all the time.  he’s under a lot of stress.  his son disappeared in time.  i’ll let it slide.

~jonno roberts was literally draco malfoy.  his sneer, his swagger, everything was absolutely as i imagined draco 20 years in the future would be.  he’s so protective of scorpius...when the adults travel back to 1981 to find their sons, he picks scorpius up as they hug? and then instead of breaking apart, he sort of...put one arm around scorpius’s neck? like a backwards neck travel pillow thing. scorpius held his arm as draco looked around behind him for any danger.  it was really cute.

~diane davis was a really protective ginny.  all the fiery ginny from the books that was absent from the films made its way into her.  

2. Scenes

~one criticism i have is the fact that everyone speaks really quickly.  it’s a five hour play and i get that they’re trying to contain all the dialogue within that time but like...it’s a dialogue-heavy show.  i knew what was going on since i’m familiar with the script and the story, but there were parts when S and other members of the audience were confused. this was especially noticeable during the trolley witch scene.  literally nothing could be heard over the music and the sound effects, and several people around us were audibly confused and asking each other what was happening.  i mean, it doesn’t make a lot more sense with the dialogue, but at least let us hear what the characters are saying!

~podany, snyder, and (at times) weiler were the worst offenders.  weiler’s good at physical comedy, punctuating his iconic lines with clownlike movements for laughs since no one would know what he’s saying otherwise.  e.g. “we stand over the baby and scream” was almost inaudible, so we just heard “HEEELLLPPP HEEEEELLLP!” it was effective since the whole theater laughed, i guess. take this with a grain of salt; we were only a few feet away from the stage, so maybe our audio wasn’t the best.  

~roberts was crystal clear at all times

~S fell in love with scorbus during the staircase ballet.  if you’ve seen that one clip from this cast you know why.  the YEARNING.

~the LIBRARY scene! i reblogged audio of this a few months ago. oh my god, it’s perfect.  it hits the emotional highs and lows.  when albus said, “i wasn’t a loser before i met you,” there was a collective gasp and we all “OOOOOOOOOOH”-ed.  everyone was invested in this. weiler’s performance is really emotional, he’s holding back tears, i’m holding back tears. podany’s gets so soft when he talks about how kind he is.  i actually clenched my heart. “friends?” “always.” audience: “OOOOOOOOOH!”

~i can confirm that myrtle’s “girls...AND BOYS” is directed straight at albus.  his eyes widen, and he sheepishly shrugs his shoulders and is very excited to change the topic.

~scorpius’s imaginary friend was named hector.  idk if he improvises it every time, or if he decided to change it to hector from flurry, but his delivery was great.  sweetly: “oh, i had one of those too!” scathing hiss: “HECTOR.”

~the biggest jumpscare of the play was when scorpius emerged from the lake at the end of part one.  it was all dark, and then he shoots out of the water, gasping. i jumped.

~voldemort walked down the aisle right next to us.  S was terrified that he’s jump or touch her, so she curled up next to me.

~i was interested in how the penultimate scene would play out, since i heard that weiler and podany really play up their relationship, but scorpius had spent every scene with rose purring at her.  she came and imitated a scorpion when she said “scorpion king,” curving her hand and making a hissing noise, which elicited a few “oohs” from the audience.  then the Hug...the “new version of us” line is said as they hug, and they just. stood there for a few moments, hugging.  when albus goes “you better ask rose” scorpius looks up at him and blinks, goes, “.........uh oh yeah, rose….” and goes off stage.  right before he exits he looks at albus, and albus keeps watching him after he leaves. uhh anyway scorbus is canon and so is pollyrose

~“dad...i don’t want to be a wizard anymore.” (dead silence) “i want to go into pigeon racing” *breaks into the biggest shit-eating grin and cracks up*.  the last shot is harry holding albus as he silently weeps.  Ookay.

~due to several instances of childhood trauma, my sister’s biggest fear is birds (especially chickens, ostriches, and...pigeons).  she didn’t know why people laughed at harry’s confession that he was afraid of pigeons, because to her that’s a valid fear.  we saw a pigeon in the train station and she almost cried.

3. Stage door

~S did most of the talking.  she told everyone “so sorry we don’t have our playbill! you did such a great job!” and then struck up mini conversations.  i stood nodding like “good job!” looking like this :]

~first up was (i believe) zell steele morrow! he’s so cute and was really upbeat.  S finally found someone shorter than her…

~karen janes woditsch asked what houses we’re in.  S was like “gryffindor!” and she smiled, i told her “ravenclaw” and she was like, “well...i love all my students equally….”

~i didn’t recognize james snyder since he was dressed like he was in the arctic.  neither did S.

~nadia brown was so sweet!  you could tell she really loved seeing fans.  there was a group behind us in line who apparently were here for their third viewing, and they conversed like they were old friends.

~nicholas podany came out wearing a t shirt. in december.  i was cold because i forgot to wear gloves and he came out in a t shirt.  the group behind us asked if he was cold and he said that he was hot from running around the stage.  S told him that he did great, she asked how long he was performing (ten months since february) and her response was “oh, that makes sense, you were good!” he went on about how he loves performing, how each night is different based on the crowd and how we were such a great crowd, and i could feel S like. sinking into the sidewalk. i just nodded at him and went “good job.”

~he’s my height, maybe slightly shorter (i’m 5’6/167 cm) and very pale.  i think S has a crush on him since she wants to go back to “apologize for being so awkward.” growing up she had a crush on daniel radcliffe, too, so i guess she has a thing for potters.

~the group behind us went on about how much they loved harry potter, had been fans their whole lives, etc. podany’s apparently a huge potterhead, but not the biggest in the cast: they all came together to see who was the biggest potterhead, and the answer is the actor who plays cedric (forgot his name and the internet isn’t helping, sorry!) -- his tv (?) remote is in the shape of a wand! the rest of them are nerdy enough to fact-check the director lmao

~we didn’t get to actually speak with jonno roberts, but we saw him interacting with other fans.  he seems like a cool guy.