#instead of how she chooses to deal with those feelings afterwards | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starlightandfairies · 2 years ago

Text

Insecure nights ~Austin Butler~

Description: The reader isn't really too great, her self-esteem is very low and Austin reassures her that she is gorgeous and that she needs to look after herself.

Warnings: Swearing, she/her pronouns, fluff, angst, low self-esteem, body issues, social media bullying, rude fans

Key: POV = Point of view

Word Count: 1,184

*Please know that you all are gorgeous no matter what you look like, I've been feeling insecure lately so I've just written this and I hope you know that you're insecurities do not define you. Have a lovely day.*

Being Austin's girlfriend was great, he was the best guy that you could ever hope for and he was everything that you needed in the relationship. Like all people, you were insecure, though, you had your moments where you felt so confident and loved yourself for your body that you were happy to be existing just as you were. It all came crashing down though, one day you're minding your own business and you're scrolling through social media and you come across a photo that some random took of you and Austin out in public where Austin's mid-spin with you in his arms as he hugs you.

The caption was supportive of you and your relationship, reading:

Look how cute they both are! You can really tell Austin loves her

It always made you smile knowing that there were fans that were supportive of your relationship and tried to defend you both when mean comments popped up but this time, it got under your skin.

She seriously needs to lose weight

I love her, she's so pretty and so sweet

Look at his arms, you can tell he's struggling to hold her up

Does Austin hate seeing her acne? Because I do

She's gorgeous, she shouldn't be dealing with you assholes.

I saw a beach photo the other day and her stretch marks were fucking hideous -#Ihatestretchmarks.

You fell into a cycle, you were trapped and you couldn't get out of it, couldn't stop reading all these awful things. You felt sick as all your insecurities were being judged and picked on. You snapped out of your thoughts as a door slammed closed, you dropped your phone on the bed and quickly placed a smile on your lips before you walked over to investigate what happened.

"Sorry, darling, I didn't mean to scare you. The wind picked up and got the door." Austin walked over to you, a charming smile on his lips as he embraced you in his warm arms. Austin rested a kiss on your forehead, then caught your lips in his, you smiled against his lips and stared at him with a gentle look in your eyes.

"Doesn't bother me any, just glad it's you." He smiled at you, staring at you with an amused glint in his eyes and rested another kiss on your lips before taking a breath.

"I'm gonna have a shower, we can watch some movies afterwards, okay?" You simply nodded, smiling lightly as he rested one final kiss on your forehead and walked to your shared bedroom. You walked to the living room and started picking out some movies to choose from, giving Austin the chance to what he wanted to watch instead of just giving him a sappy rom-com.

Austin walked over to you, he wrapped his arms around you, pulled your back against his chest and leaned down to rest a kiss on your cheek.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

"I'm feeling fine, how about you?" Austin turned you around, he rested a kiss on your lips and crouched down to stare at you. He led you over to the couch, gave you reassuring smile and held your hands in his.

"You wanna tell me what's going on?"

"Nothing is going on." You lied.

"I love you and I know you. I know when something is on your mind and I've seen that look before. I don't want this to become something that hurts you, you're my girl and I love you. I don't want to see you hurting."

"It's getting into my head again, I hate feeling like this, I hate not thinking I'm pretty and I hate that those assholes can get to me when they don't know me and I don't know them." Austin rested a hand on top of his, you stared at him and sniffled as he wiped away a tear that fell from your eye.

"Darling, you're absolutely gorgeous, they don't know what they're fucking talking about."

"Sometimes... sometimes I feel that I'm not pretty enough for you or good enough." Austin grabbed your hands, staring you deep in the eye.

"You're fucking stunning, darling, don't think that you're not. You're more than good enough for me and you're always the prettiest girl in the room. My eyes are always on you and you're always got this lovely glow about you. You're gorgeous, you're beautiful. These insecurities of yours, I'm sorry they get you down and I'm sorry that these awful people think that they have the right to hurt you with them." Austin took a breath, bringing you closer to him and cradled you close to his chest.

"You don't think I'm too big, or my acne is ugly or my stretch marks make you embarrassed to be seen with me when we're at the beach or the pool?" Austin shook his head, bringing your eyes to meet his and smiled at you.

"I think you're perfect, I think you're gorgeous and you're not 'too' big, you're perfect just the way and I love you. This acne, it's normal, you're human. Humans have these things, I love them because it shows how real you are and I think it's actually really cute. These stretchmarks, I love tracing over these when we're cuddling, you always smile and sometimes it turns into a tickle fight and I love having these with you. Darling, you're gorgeous and I love you with my entire heart. I'm sorry that people aren't treating you right and I hope you know that whenever you feel like this you can talk to me."

A smile formed on your lips, Austin smiled with you and rested a kiss on your forehead. Austin flopped on the couch, you still in his arms and rested your head on his chest.

"You're not uncomfortable?"

"Not at all, I promise you, sweetheart." The shorts you were wearing were pyjama shorts, Austin slowly started tracing patterns on your skin, near your hip and trailing down a little lower to get the ends of the stretchmarks.

"You're gorgeous, I love you, I love you so much." He whispered watching as you just put something on and snuggled in closer to be held tighter by him. Austin hated seeing you feel so down, hated that these people who knew nothing about you treated you with insults and made you feel like shit and you were the greatest thing that had come into his life and he didn't want you to feel like you weren't pretty enough or good enough.

"I love you, thank you." You whispered.

"What are you thanking me for, darling?"

"You just no what to say to make me feel better."

"I mean them all."

"I know you do. I love you so much."

231 notes · View notes

kindwhispers · 7 months ago

Text

Kaze Hikaru: Slow burn romance, debunking the patriarchal gender roles, and the intricacies of a fractured Bakumatsu era

Disclaimer: Attached below are heavy spoilers, please read on your own discretion.

I. Initial thoughts and impressions:

I am not well versed with Japan's Feudal history but I am well aware that this is recounting actual events during the Bakumatsu Era. At first it definitely felt like there's a lot of information bombardment in a chapter, as well as characters being thrown around and it was quite hard to catch up especially coming in with zero background on the Shinsengumi. There's definitely so much to consider and put into mind because of its setting and I can be highly critical with a lot of them (especially how huge gender role expectations were and how overbearing & cruel patriarchy is especially during this era, will get into this next).

II. Bakumatsu era, Bushido:

Just for a quick background, this was set in 1863-1867 during the decline of Bakumatsu, the last leg of Edo Period under Tokugawa shogunate, right before Meiji Restoration. Bushido is the "way of a warrior" and how bushis live with this code of conduct.

III. On antiquated patriarchal gender roles:

In the vast course of the series, Soji often offers a resolution for Sei to marry off instead of staying in Shinsengumi for a promise of safety... though distinctly coming from a place of care for her, is still in the end administering to misogyny where women were expected to be in households. It all essentially rows around patriarchy during Edo period.

Sei is someone who has struggled a lot to become a bushi as a woman. She is always told that she couldn't, as a woman, she should be married at her age instead, and so forth. Through Sei, we can see a lot of the constraining and dismantling the patriarchal gender structure as she climbs her way up to stand amongst Shinsengumi, which is domineered by mostly men. With her hard work and zeal, along with her raison d'être (first, joining to seek vengeance for her family, then, staying for Soji), she has earned her way up and is seen as a bushi on equal footings- and even better than most. Through all these, she constantly hears and deals with archetypal misogyny and sexist remarks, how being Feeling and Emotive is considered as a "girly thing," and how she always has to grapple with herself by being "a man" bc what she is doing is not "womanly" enough or what she is doing is still inadequate because she will always be a "woman" at the end of the day. This all falls on the rigid social dichotomy that is founded in patriarchy.

Below, from Volume 30, I believe, somehow counters those gender roles. Sei, when she saw Omasa looking a lot more "womanly" ever since she became a wife and a mum, came the scenes of her lamentations about letting go of her womanhood (marrying off, bearing a child, keeping the household, serving the husband, which were all what was believed to be what encompasses the happiness of a woman- an indoctrination of social mores re: what defines a woman that entirely stems from patriarchy) when she has already decided to choose to walk the path of a bushi. Though she has long been resolute with her decision, she still inevitably comes back to it, and she can't help but feel envious. Kondo saying "Soji would be a good wife" already disproves the gender stereotypes, and how the important conversation between Sei and Soji afterwards carries with it so much weight.

Because of her envy with Omasa, she sees herself insignificant both as a woman and as a bushi. She thinks that she is already past the age of a woman who's expected to be marrying off and having a family of her own, and that her mourning about it negates her being a bushi, that she is still as "girly" for thinking this way, even after coming a long way and proving herself in Shinsengumi. Soji then refutes this. Sei emphasized how she wants to be like the wind (Soji) that’s not clinging onto anything and that no desires could constrain, all she could do as a grass is look up to him and admire him even though she couldn’t be with the wind. Soji tells her otherwise, that the wind is envious of the grass that even has the ability to blossom with flowers and yearns to be like that. That Sei is already viewed as influential, and truthfully so. It's basically Soji saying he sees her as equals and is telling her that she is a strong woman and a fine bushi at that; that he, too, admires her (and how at this point Soji has already been perceiving Sei to be strong, as a great bushi and as herself, with how she carries herself & her ability to affect the ppl’s lives around her). Sei needs not to strip away her being a woman, she doesn't have to become a "man" to have been seen as equals, because she did it all being one; she is a woman of influence, and she actively debunks what were archetypal subjectifications of a woman- which, (thought not entirely), defies the patriarchal gender role expectations at this point.

IV. Slow burn romance, transformative and profound Love:

Finally, on the romance! The romance in this manga takes its time and it is wonderful.

I want to start off with how Soji really came a long way of acknowledging his love for Sei (someday I will make a separate post studying his character), how it has always been there, no matter which form, and how transformative it was. At first, he still doesn't fully recognise his feelings about Sei that he instead analogizes it to a parent having to let go of their first born, then how he was with Kondo as a sensei-disciple, then how his love for Sei is that above of a familial love. Now having met Sei, how he finds himself loving her in the process, he subconsciously files it under emotions he’s most familiar with: and that is his love for Kondo, or familial love. What he feels with Sei is something completely alien to him, he doesn’t yet have the awareness that it’s an entirely different form of love (and I will always believe that all the forms of love he had for Sei is just as significant and doesn't need to be measured, even when it doesn't have to necessarily metamorphose into a romantic love). Asking Toshi to reassign Nakamura, allowing his personal feelings get in the way of his work, was the first huge step in coming face to face with his feelings.

“It’s better than marrying someone I truly love so I can just die anytime” monologue of him, and having the dilemma of NOT being like that with Sei… because with Sei, he has something to value and that scares him more than anything. I feel this is interwoven by his past (I will also make a study on Sei & Soji's pasts, their similarities and how their contraries attract, both interlaced by their upbringing). Having ingrained the ‘bushido’ through Kondo & Toshi at an early age, and how he detaches himself from his emotions and dismisses them when it's all right in front of him just to shield himself pain links to his trauma from what happened with Sae.

Soji telling Sei that he wants her happiness more than anybody. At this point, he still struggles to rummage through how he feels. He tiptoes a lot on Sei and keeps her at an arm's length (and how Sei do not want this at all, having witnessed her mum having to bear it all alone, despite her dad loving her- again, will make a separate post about this) because he's scared of unintentionally hurting her.

So many factors come in between their love, the biggest one should be the societal structure during this era. Sei choosing to stay as a bushi & how this is the bridge that continually allows them to be together, so the best they could show it is by protecting each other with their lives. Sei coming to terms of not seeking love in return but just a love that gives and this love acts as a bridge for her to stay in Shinsengumi, to stay with Soji.

They’re both making peace with being able to be by each other despite despite not being Together… How immense their love for each other is that they have to constantly find ways for it to be selfless.

Going back on the above panels of Sei & Soji's conversation about the analogy of wind-grass inserted in III. On antiquated patriarchal gender roles, him saying there's the desire of whisking away a flower is him wanting to bring her with him. Probably because that flower is still part of a grass so there's a part of Sei that he wants to whisk away with him, and how this ties to both of their inner desires of being together as lovers despite being unaware of how each other feels. That they feel the same about each other and have the same ‘selfish’ yearnings for their love to bear fruits.

Soji finally understands that they both have the same happiness, of being able to watch over each other as the best they can do with their love. He doesn't anymore push her to quit and marry off for a promise of safety but rather respects her agency of choosing to stay so he just does everything he can to protect her, to not lose her. Sei is the same with him. Their love transcends the formalities of marriage, as they get to be by each other's side as bushi, fighting alongside each other with their lives. That they do not need to be wedded to love each other, it surpasses it instead.

Sei and Soji: a profound love that has a pressing desire to be selfish but resists that very selfishness & instead endures all that is fencing their togetherness for each other’s sake. They can’t find themselves to gather this selfishness (of wanting to be with each other as lovers) because they want their happiness more than anything… and that happiness is mirrored by their shared longing of being by each other's side.

Ripened thoughts (under the limitations until Vol. 30):

The charm of Kaze Hikaru is the slow burn romance, & seeing how Sei fares well in a male-domineering environment. I am glad that Sei reiterates that her being a girl doesn't matter as she can be a bushi on par with men, that she does not have to be what is expected of women in that time. Although I initially have qualms about her character as a bushi in the end still being revolved around a man, but the good thing about KH is it dislodges heteronormativity. To Soji, and even to Saito, Sei's gender identity truly didn't matter much. There is also plentiful of iterations in the manga about normativities in sexual preferences, though mostly between men (I have read that sapphics were not much accorded the same way, sadly. And I have yet to read a sapphic manga occurring during the same era, please if you know some recommend them to me...), during Edo period.

This manga doesn't weather down how barbaric this period can get, it instead reminds us many times that deaths were inevitable, no matter how unjust- people die and people kill. It's so bittersweet, yet it manages to keep a balance by showing us how there are found joys & bonds in their quotidian lives, which I really loved and stayed for. Love Kaze Hikaru for how unhurriedly progressive the characters are, how the story takes its time to venture into such a fractured era, & mostly how passionate the mangaka is to chronicle historical events.

Kaze Hikaru is nowhere near perfect, but it is still a wonderful manga that deserves more audience. Please read it and let's team up against V*Z to give us a more consistent volume release.

#reflections after K #animanga #kaze hikaru #風光る #kaze hikaru review #my ramblings because im obviously so smitten by it #i might be rehashing the same things but i just had to collect my general thoughts #anw im open to discussions abt kaze hikaru #i love hearing different perspectives and seeing it on a different lens but theres only like 4 of us that i know LOL #shoujo manga

15 notes · View notes

flyingsquirrely · 5 months ago

Text

Sins of the Father

WHAT a quest!! I've already played through the Myreque questline in RS3, but I really enjoyed the OSRS take on this quest. (spoilers for the Myreque/Vampyre questline in both OSRS and RS3 below the readmore)

I think it has my favorite characterization of the Player Character out of all the OSRS quests I've played so far. Normally, PC personality ends up either very reactive (they sort of blandly respond to the situation at hand) or going to uhhh extremes (Lunar Diplomacy pirate ship scene, my beloathed), but this quest found a nice balance where the PC is perhaps a bit too jokey in the face of darkness and danger, but it feels like a purposeful response to stress by lightening the mood, rather than obnoxious as it sometimes falls in other quests. It's more like a part of their personality, rather than the devs just throwing something in because they think it's funny or want to make a reference. Subjectively, I found this character much closer to how I imagine my PC (ik ik, that's not universal, hence subjectively). Also, it fits with the other quest characters, where Safalaan has a similar sense of humor and the PC's lightheartedness helps him deal with all of the unpleasant personal realizations he goes through during the quest.

Speaking of my guy Safalaan, loved his characterization as well, and his growing friendship with the PC. The conversations they have in the lab and before the final boss while looking over the drowned ruins of (presumably) the Everlight: 👌👌. They just felt so satisfying! We get to share our fears and stuff! I felt good feels! Good characterization!

Vanescula was a queen, as always, and Ivan felt more like a Real Boy in this iteration of the questline than in the RS3 version. Loved the team banter and the wary enemy-mine relationship between the Myreque and Vanescula. I thought that the tension between Veliaf, Safalaan, and Vanescula was really well done, and how each of the minor Myreque members have their own unique opinions and reasoning about the plan and Vanescula herself.

Also, I think this is unintentionally comedic, but I love that you can go up to the Vyrewatch in full combat kit + weapons specifically meant for killing vampyres, with which you have already killed a powerful vampyre and say "Send me to the mines!" and they just think you're really weird and do it. Like, the fight with Ranis was not private, there was an entire crowd there. Zero braincells on those guys.

There isn't much player dialogue choice in it (you know, the ones where the dialogue choice doesn't do anything mechanically, but results in some branching dialogue where the NPC's dialogue reacts to the PC's personality), but I did like the one where you can choose whether or not to call Veliaf out on his callousness towards Slepe because there are a bunch of Zamorakians there. I don't play my PC as Zamorakian, but they are Guthixian and they don't hate Zamorakians by default, so it was nice to be able to play into that.

I do wish we'd gotten a little more resolution about Slepe. I know there's more stuff going on there with an underground boss and stuff that I haven't done yet, but I think it could have used a quest of its own or maybe a short/medium follow-up.

(We won't talk about the month of Slayer grinding I had to do before I could kill Vanstrom. He hurts, and I am not an experienced PvMer.)

I think my hope for the finale of this questline (idk if we'll be getting one or two more quests in this series, it could go either way honestly), is that it does a couple of things:

Lord Drakan as the final final boss. tbh I found River of Blood (RS3) to be kind of an awkward finale, because Drakan is built up to be this terrible, extremely powerful enemy, but then you kick his ass in the penultimate quest and fight... mutated Safalaan as the final boss of the questline instead. Weird. I'd also accept Vanescula as the final final boss, as long as she survives it and we get to discuss the truce afterwards. She deserves it.

Ivan coming into his own legacy and playing a key role. In RS3 he doesn't get to do much in the last few quests in the series, which was a bit anticlimactic for him.

Give Safalaan A Break, Please. I guess they can turn him into a funky hybrid again, but please let me bonk him back into human shape and then let him take a nap. (he gives me such Ichigo-from-Bleach vibes, being a human+icyene+vampyre hybrid in River of Blood)

I want the Sunspear. I really like the lore of that weapon in RS3 and also how it implies that Efaritay is/was absolutely massive compared to humans.

#runescape #osrs #sins of the father

6 notes · View notes

uroboros-if · 2 years ago

Note

Hi, I'm the anon who asked this and I'm here to scream about my MC I am so sorry for how long this is gonna be

Okay, so I call my MC Pandora, I have a reason for it Now, the reason why I named my little MC Pandora was because of this line in the synopsis:

"Your investigations into a strange occurrence will lead you to know far more than you ever intended to, unravelling what may be the precursor to the collapse of the reign of gods…"

Which, to me, sounded a lot like the MC is opening Pandora’s box. Then I was like, “Wow, it would be silly If I named my MC Pandora, and throughout the story and her investigations, it’s like she’s slowly unlocking the box… wait-”

Ok characterization, in the myth “Pandora’s Box,” Pandora has various characterizations, sometimes being seen as clueless and letting her curiosity get the better of her and opening the box. Other times being seen as cunning, knowing exactly what is in the box yet opening it anyways. I wanted both of these for my baby, a happy middle with a leaning towards innocent curiosity, knowing what's in the box and the consequences of looking into it but letting the curiosity win and then realizing just how grave the consequences actually are partway through, yet instead of giving up and closing the “box” she keeps going because of all that pent up and hidden feelings she’s had about the way she’s been treated her whole life. Because oftentimes, when we do something that has consequences that we know of, we aren’t exactly aware of how bad those consequences are for us and others around us due to our innocence and lack of experience along with the feelings he had at the moment, especially if they are negative ones. In the case of the game, the “Box” would be the investigation and the downfall of the deities; this is what I strive for in how I play as her in later chapters btw.

In chapter one though she’s still in that innocence, she has negative feelings about the other gods, but it’s not to the point where if she was given the option to bring down the gods or leave things the way they were, she would pick bring down the gods, no she would turn her head and choose to keep the things the way they were. Most of her negative feelings are directed towards Salvatore, she really doesn't want to dislike them, but they are everything she isn't, and that pisses her off in a way she can't describe, and it pisses her off when other older gods call them "childhood friends" when in reality they know nothing of each other and in childhood she was just tolerating their presence because their mom is quite literally the Queen of the gods and she'd rather not get whatever punishment is given when you upset her child or whatever. With Luciel, on the other hand, it seems to be a completely different story. She is extremely fond of them, being the god of the only thing that ever be considered something that can last for eternity, death. (unless I missed something and there is a reincarnation system that you plan to add later or something) And also the fact that they gave her a purpose and their generally calming presence (and ofc they're pretty, which helps a great deal with likability) She was always a little curious about Ciocana, always feeling a little... drawn to them in a weird way, maybe it's the similarity of them being outcasts, but she wants to get closer to them, especially after that dance they had. Oh yes, that dance. She had always been fond of dancing; however, she'd never had that much fun doing it before, and the timing was even greater when she remembers bumping into that other god and that nasty numbness she felt afterward. She wouldn't mind dancing with them again. She has always adored humans in a weird way; they basically stood against her whole being, with how short their lifespans were, yet... they made her feel needed in their afterlife, and she has always been happy to help with whatever issue they ask of and the fact that they went to her about it too (even though she's the only option) it makes her feel all warm inside, and I imagine they're the ones who introduced her to dancing in the first place. I don't really want to write much about her opinions on Alessi because they haven't met yet💀

Pandora typically dresses in a mix of all the human-era fashion because her job is so tightly associated with humans it's impossible for them to not influence her in some way. She usually wears Greek and regency-era-inspired clothing, light and airy yet beautiful.

Thank you for reading about my silly I love them, and they can and probably will change quite a bit throughout the chapters, and I genuinely cannot wait to see where the story goes, but yeah, all of this is just based off of the first chapter 💀

My reply in the read more 💕💕

Pandora is such an amazing name and works so well symbolically/narrative-wise!! 😭 Especially in a setting that starts out once peaceful and then thrown into disarray when the "Box" is then opened, unleashing unto the world everything bad... but also Hope! You don't know much about Alessi yet, but I feel this also defines their character arc as well! Perhaps you'll see 💕

Oh, and I love how thoughtful you are with how you feel about the ROs! I was definitely trying to emphasize how completely different people view Salvatore versus the MC, which makes for super interesting character foils to one another! Salvatore, the golden child, and MC, "everything they are not." Even with that description, they are defined in relation to Salvatore, rather than evaluated independently. To add salt to wound, people assume you are friends...

Haha, I don't think reincarnation is part of the plan--resurrection or rebirth is against the order of the world! I am glad Pandora has someone she likes, in spite of her negative feelings towards other deities. Luciel is just as fond of her. (... And thinks Pandora is quite lovely, too!)

But 👀 they're also a little curious about Ciocana? Maybe loners just drift to each other!

So interesting to have an MC who is inclined towards mortals and a little against deities, although she would still choose to keep things as they are! I imagined that's actually how I'd feel in MC's situation 😭 begrudging against anyone who mistreats, happy to be of service, and yet not so extreme as to want to participate in overthrowing the gods... for now! 👀

Ahh, and I love the bit about the fashion! 🫶 Those two styles are so lovely, you should send some images of what you think she'd wear!!

But thank you so much for going into such detail and being so so thoughtful about your MC! I am astounded by the level of thought you put into Pandora, and in just one chapter!! I am starting to think I have the most amazing readers 😭😭 everyone has such deep thoughts about the story and I want to meet all those expectations!!

You inspired me so much with your ask to give more depth to the choices in the future! So again, thank you so so much for telling me about Pandora, I adore her!!!! 🥺🥺✨✨ Please let me know more of your thoughts if you ever come up with more, or if things change, or... anything!! 💕 I would be so so excited to know!

#jumping up and down at this ask #made me go on my computer and start drilling at the keyboard brrrrrr #uroboros-if #uroboros #asks #anon #mc #uroboros mc #deity of eternity #pandora

30 notes · View notes

thesilverlady · 1 year ago

Note

Hey, I've seen you say that you have a lot of opinions on episode 4 and 7 I think of HOTD and on how Daemon and Rhaenyra have been butchered, so if you feel like sharing someday I would love to read it!

high chance this is gonna be a long reply so this is a warning ⚠ Also small disclaimer: because I know how defensive ppl are over daemyra, this is my opinion and me not liking something everyone else loves isn't the end of the world.

So, 4 and 7 are the episodes I hate the most from hotd and while they definitely killed daemyra for me I have multiple reasons why I especially dislike those two episodes however, I'll keep my reply daemyra centered. I'll begin by summarizing the episode and then making a small list

Episode 4

As it has been established, show Rhaenyra is different from the start. For what is worth I gave the show a fair chance and didn't originally compare it to the book because I already had it seperate in my mind.

so while I won't complain about Rhaenyra bring different from her book self. i will say that her character is already inconsistent by episode 4. Rhaenyra acts very immature for someone in her position. It has been established that she feels very insecure about her position because she's uncertain if anyone else will accept her as a queen, but is willing and eager to create a "new order".

So, for someone who is supposed to be all that she's very much uninterested and dismissive of all these men and what they have to offer. She already seems tired and fed up with the politics and the caging feeling she gets with the obligation that she has to marry.

Rhaenyra doesn't want to get married. To Alicent she explains that the men only want her name and her Valyrian blood and to Daemon she reveals there's fear for childbirth due to what happened to her mother - to which Daemon tells her not to live a life of fear (unhelpful but OK)

Later that night, Rhaenyra finds a scroll of parchment with instructions leading her to a secret exit, and cloaked in a commoner's garb, the secret path leads her to Daemon, who escorts Rhaenyra out into the streets of King's Landing.

There, Rhaenyra seems very much in awe of the night life but is quickly angered and hurt by a play that mocks her gender and status as future queen.

"Would she make a powerful queen or would she be feeble? Aegon the babe prince might long proclaim, he has two things Rhaenyra cannot: A conqueror's name and a cock."

After some walking and chasing, Rhaenyra finds herself in some very public brothel where she's touched by daemon and excitedly she returns the feeling. Daemon however quickly ditches her half naked and a shaken Rhaenyra has to return back alone.

When Rhaenyra sneaks back into her quarters Criston Cole hears her and boldly she invites him inside to which after some hesitation from this part, finally accepts and they end up sleeping together.

In the next morning, Otto tells Viserys about Daemon & Rhaenyra being seen at a pleasure house together to which Alicent hears and later interrogates Rhaenyra about who in turn lies about the events of the night.

Meanwhile a hungover Daemon stumbles into the Red Keep, where he's taken to Viserys who demands to know what happened. Where Rhaenyra lied about Daemon never touching her, Daemon lies about going further than they actually did.

Viserys complains about Daemon having "defiled" his daughter, and that he should disinherit Rhaenyra like he already did Daemon.

Daemon asks him to let her marry Rhaenyra and is accused for doing all this for the throne. He eventually gets banished - again.

Afterwards, Viserys deals with Rhaenyra, giving her the bs about the prophecy and she complains once more about the unfairness of her gender and how her desires wouldn't be a problem if she were a man.

Viserys declares, she's lost the right to choose her own suitor so instead, she'll marry Laenor Velaryon. Rhaenyra, ever the "savvy politician", strikes a bargain she'll do if if he fires Otto - to which he does.

So how were Rhaenyra & Daemon butchered in ep4?

Rhaenyra is very keen to unshackle herself from the burdens of royalty. And for all the talk she did about wanting to make changes in previous episodes she's unwilling to use her status because she's too busy viewing it as a burden

Aside immature this makes her quite unintelligent, because while her fears are valid she never does a single thing to work on them

Rhaenyra (an i assume 19?yr) princess and heir to the throne doesn't have any concern with disguising herself poorly and risking her reputation for a night if "fun & freedom"

While angered by the play, Rhaenyra still dismissed it "Their wants are of no consequence"

Rhaenyra doesn't immediately bolt when she's brought in a brothel where daemon starts doing his thing. Her face is visible to be seen by everyone but the thought doesn't cross her mind.

Despite daemon leaving her hurt her feelings, Rhaneyra has no problem in inviting Criston - a man who we hardly saw her having feelings for - in her bed and sleeping with him as a part of "claiming freedom"

The next morning Rhaenyra sells her actual freedom to get Otto fucking Hightower fired 💀

Conclusion: this episode showed Rhaenyra having 0 self awareness. Her immaturity and naivety can be contributed to her young age but 19 years is already adult for Westeros standards so I can't give her a lot of pass. This episode is supposed to show Rhaenyra acting out her heart and having to deal with the consequences through political scheming. Instead she came off as someone who doesn't understand her position and advantage and doesn't give much concern over the public opinion and image despite few episodes ago this being one of the things she was worried about.

To add, the whole "freedom" came off as very awkward and tone deaf. I've mentioned in the past that hotd uses psedo feminism to come off as deep and this was a great example of that. The episode played as if Rhaenyra was some imprisoned princess who was treated as a second class citizen. Hotd timeline isn't that far from the conquest. Targaryen women lost power after Rhaenyra lost the war not before. So lots of her treatment makes 0 sense even for hotd version standards.

And to top it off, she sacrifices everything to get rid of Otto Hightower 🤦🏻‍♀️

Now for Daemon:

His dynamic with Viserys is very much changed due to the show erasing his story with Mysaria. As a consequence, when he returns he seems very... loving even to Viserys

He doesn't voice much about the play that basically insults his niece other than a quick "the peasants' opinion are important" when Rhaenyra dismisses them.

Daemon's braincells don't work much in this episode because he takes his niece in a public pleasure house and starts addressing her and touching her in front of everyone

Then for whatever reason, he pushes her and leaves her all alone in an unfamiliar place she has never been before.

When confronted by his brother daemon lies about having slept with Rhaenyra and asks Viserys to marry her

Conclusion: some of these parts had been rumors from mushroom in f&b so while it's not shocking they were written, it doesn't make sense for daemon's characterization in the show. First of all, Daemon makes so many dumb decisions in this ep that it's painful. Since the dynamic with his brother is warmer and he's received way more warmly by Viserys there's absolutely no reason for him to lie about taking Rhaneyra's virginity. All he had to do was off his wife and then ask for Rhaneyra's hand. The end

We never get any actual reason as to why he abandoned her like that in the brothel and why he took her there in the first place. We only have fan theories which makes the entire act so poorly executed. Due to Viserys parting words the most popular assumption was for the crown. However while I'm a big advocate for book daemon wanting the throne, show daemon doesn't seem much ambitious. His whole character centers around his brother and niece and yearning for their love and sense of belonging

He comes off as very idiotic instead of reckless due to his actions, not to mention very hot&cold with how he deals with Rhaenyra

episode 7

I definitely went too far with the length so I'll attempt to keep this summary as short as possible.

basically Lana's funeral happens. An unsettled Rhaenyra is visibly uncomfortable by the words spoken by Vaemond, and so Daemon bursts laughing during his wife's funeral - assumingly to take the attention off his niece

The two meet again late at night where they walk down the beach. Rhaenyra admits there was no joy with Laenor but she found some with Harwin. She bemoans Daemon for abandoning her and he retorts that he was trying to protect her. They kiss and have sex.

The eye incident happen, Alicent attacks Rhaenyra and slashes her arm. Later she’s patched up by a maester and speaks to Laenor who admits he’s failed them and bemoans the Gods for making him the way he is. Rhaenyra calls him an honorable man with a good heart. Afterward she approaches Daemon and suggests they strengthen their bond together properly by marrying one another and plot Laenor's (fake) death.

so what do I dislike here?

I've mentioned before that young and older rhaenyra are too different and there was never any transition that could connect their different personalities. In this one Rhaenyra is more doubtful and fearful than ever and doesn't try to hide it. Whereas she was bold and impulsive in her youth here she's meek and trying to convince herself as much as she does for her children

daemon's character is obligated to center around rhaenyra and Viserys so his relationship with Laena was portrayed as badly as possibly to the point he'd rather clown himself during his dead wife's eulogy 💀

daemon's non existent braincells have made a comeback because once again he chooses to have sex with his niece in the most public place possible. Rhaenyra who is supposed to be used to hiding her affair also follows and does this with no second thought.

daemon is a liar for claiming he was trying to protect Rhaenyra because she was a "child" because his dead wife was waay younger than her in the show but he married her anyways. So is only Rhaenyra given this "child status"?

Rhaenyra allows Alicent to make snarky comments about her and Laenor without defending herself much. Mind you all of this happening in front of people so.... I guess older rhaenyra still doesn't care what everyone else thinks?

daemon sees his two daughters with blood and opts to "enjoy the show" instead of rushing by their side. Show daemon never beats the deadbeat dad allegations I fear

Rhaenyra is slashed by Alicent and neither she not anyone else makes a big dead about it. Small reminder she's still the heir to the Iron Throne btw

Rhaenyra straight up lies to Laenor and us (the audience) by claiming he was a "good man" when an episode ago we saw how he didn't give a fuck about the troubles rhaenyra had. Just become he escorted her after she gave birth doesn't mean anything? At this point I'm 99% the writers were just afraid of writing him as a flawed man out of fear of being called homophobic

Which bring me to the next point, Daemon and Rhaenyra decide to risk it all and fake Laenor's death - making any future kids they'll have together bastards, because they suddenly develop some newfound interest for Laenor and his happy ending

Both of their children look miserable af but neither have a care for the world and proceed to go along with the wedding ceremony.

I don't think I really need to conclude this but basically, both of them act dumb, maybe the exact same mistakes without having learnt anything from the past, show little to no care for their kids, while trying to scheme around but without spilling any blood because they're must be on the high moral horse.

I spent 2 hours writing this so I'm sorry if this is all over the place. When I use the word "butchering" It's usually relating to how the character were changed from the canon selves. But even if I seperate hotd as its own thing, the character are still inconsistent and don't seem to follow the rules of the worldbuilding they're supposed to live on

#ask reply #anti rhaenyra targaryen #anti daemon targaryen #again this is only for their show version I love daemon & rhaenyra and their relationship in f&b #again if you like their show version you do you but my feelings are very clear on the subject #anti hotd

10 notes · View notes

originlist · 2 years ago

Text

OPERATION: Hell Mandala Heian-Kyo - Clown v Clown Nightmare Match [5.5] < prev || next >

There is the first task of ensuring Beast will not be present when Chaldea answers the summons that Limbo has politely (har har) offered to Ritsu, Dou-kun, Yako, and they’re sneaking Kama in. Ritsu feels a little guilty, knowing they did tell Beast they’d be welcome to come along to the next Lostbelt, but... the consequences of Limbo learning that Beast not only exists, but exists in the state they do would be catastrophic to say the least. Ritsu’s trying to just annoy Limbo into submission, not have some completely fucked clawing and screaming fight.

So! At the command room, Ritsu attracts attention to themselves with a clap of the hands. “Meuniere, Laurel, you’re the human-est humans here,” considering Sion and Goredolf both suffer from varying degrees of magebrain, “so you’ll be babysitting if Beast gets too lonely.” That’s mostly to Meuniere, as Laurel will probably be too busy wrangling Seimei and Bei to either be in the room or out of it, depending on how things go.

Laurel makes a face Ritsu chooses to ignore rather than read as displeased as Meuniere raises his hand tentatively. “Can I not? Beast is creepy.” No offense, of course, and Ritsu does not parse anything in this sentence as unexpected.

Ritsu shrugs. “If they get too weird, just, I don’t know, teach them rhythm games or something.” That’s a distraction!

Beast materializes over Meuniere’s shoulder, leaning down to be slightly closer to head level with him. He doesn’t notice this until a teardrop of blood falls onto his shoulder and Beast starts speaking at the same moment, at which time Muniere notices with an alarmed yelp and reflexive hop away. The hopping really only serves to bonk his shoulder against Beast’s jaw.

Beast is not perturbed, and leans further forward in a way unnervingly owl-like to keep pace with Meuniere. “The sound of bells can be used as a warding charm. For you, a commanded name doesn’t share the ritual. What’s a rhythm game?”

Meuniere resists the urge to panic a little bit. (Outwardly.) Ritsu kindly (?) pretends not to notice. They give a thumbs up. “Glad you’re getting along! That’s settled.” The staff might beg to differ, but it’s fine. It’s fine! Beast might beg to differ once they realize Ritsu’s gone for longer than a few days, but whatever. It’ll be like picking a cat up from boarding, Ritsu can deal with Beast’s dramatics afterwards.

Second task is preparation with da Vinci. She’s returned from the Border by now, and even has gifts in tow-- those being altered Mystic Codes, designed and customized special for to occasion. Holmes provides some extra colour commentary along the way as da Vinci introduces a mix of things Ritsu didn’t know but isn’t surprised about and things Ritsu had guessed already knowing their quarry.

So on, so forth, until eventually da Vinci gets to the subject of her new crafts project, which she introduces with much more enthusiasm. “Since this is a Singularity instead of a Lostbelt, it means that I can make some guesses as to what clothing should look like. As such, I’ve taken the liberty of modifying some Mystic Codes for you, so you’ll stick out less — if Yako wouldn’t mind putting a glamour on to make her look a little more like a standard human.” Yako gives her assent. Kama’s already manipulating magic to ping through a few outfits they, presumably, guess will match Yako’s but classier.

“I suggested you should wear a junihitoe, but da Vinci refused,” Douman says with an audible pout.

“That was a good choice on her part,” Ritsu says as they inspect the outfit that da Vinci’s offered them. It’s a pretty standard hakama outfit, blue dyes, a good many pockets to store their various tricks, weaponries, and supplies. A sling for their naginata with a quite modern quick-access clip that’s cleverly disguised to look more like a knot.

Yako’s already putting on the modified kimono she’s been given over top of her usual under-armour. “Making sure everyone can tell they’re your wife?” she sends as a friendly jab to Douman.

Douman declines to answer that directly, instead looking with great interest at whatever corner is farthest away from Yako. “I was also hoping it would give them a slightly harder time running off and punching things,” 'things’ largely referring to Limbo, “if they were held back by twelve layers of clothing.”

Ritsu’s voice chimes in. “I will not be stopped from violence.” That much could have been guessed. They give Douman their best ‘definitely not scheming anything at all, nope, no sir!’ wide grin, and it does nothing to convince them.

It’s Sion paging in who gives the announcement once everyone’s dressed and Douman’s last-minute whining is halfway through. “Alright, we should have the Rayshift up and ready to go shortly.”

The Rayshift room is somehow nostalgic. Ritsu can feel Douman looking at them from their corner of their eye, waiting. Normally they’d have spoken now, but Ritsu figures they want to see how well Ritsu’s guesses are going to work. Pretty well, Ritsu hopes— just because they haven’t voiced anything yet doesn’t mean they won’t.

“Yo, Vincichi.” They stop short, leaning back to look where the Command Room cameras will be watching. “As we make connection with the time period, isolate every system as much as possible from the actual entry point. If there’s a passageway, it’s a two-way street and I don’t want something creeping in.” They can see Douman give a minute nod next to them, and feel pleased they apparently passed that test.

“Good deduction, Ritsu.” Holmes says over the speaker. An implicit voice of approval that he would have made the same conclusion had Ritsu not announced it first.

Ritsu nods and pulls out their spear, giving it a glance to make sure the appropriate talismans are in place. Yup, passed. “Yako and Kama, when we land, hang tight for a second and don’t move.” They know Douman well enough to know Limbo. If an invitation was made and there is any point of access, that door is not created in good faith. It only makes sense for Limbo to place something there that will kill them in the first second of entry, a surprise that makes it so ‘the Chaldea that brought down Lostbelts before me was felled within a second of entering my Singularity’.

“Alright.” Da Vinci says over speaker as Yako and Ritsu climb into Coffins, their Servants dematerializing to cling to their Masters’ prana. “I’ll count you down. Five. Four.” Connection made. “Three.” The time period is aware of entry. “Two.” The door exists. “One.” The pathway opens.

They land in the dark, Ritsu with their spear already in hand before their eyes adjust. Something black squirms in the shadow before Ritsu’s feet. As is expected. Yako stands to the back of the group with Kama who is watching, bored, just behind her shoulder and Douman to the side of them.

Ritsu raises their naginata. “Let evil be seen.” The blade swings in a quick arc of silver, magic thrumming from the seals and incantations, amplified by the peach-wood handle. “And cut.” Snakes made of grudge pull their forms from the shadow only in time for Ritsu’s blade to neatly lop their heads off in a single movement, flinging them against a nearby wall where they dissolve into nothing.

Yako gets half an excited syllable out before the bodies wriggle and surge forth from the same point. They twine together to create a singular shape, blinking open eyes and stretching forth a singular giant maw.

“I am the one who will cut down karma,” with their blade glowing a faint red, Ritsu switches to a different stance and pulls the naginata back around, “and retie it to my will.” Metal crackles when it cuts through the curse from the head down this time, the jaws of a singular massive snake falling dead to either side of Ritsu. “By my word, will, and blade: acknowledgement and purification.” A star is drawn with the tip of their spear. Sealing. This time, the whole demon dissolves.

There’s a moment, which Yako breaks. “That was so cool!! Good job Ritsu!” She sprints forward immediately, hands flung up to give them a high five. Ritsu grins and obliges, and with a quiet “good job, my lord,” from Douman, the Singularity begins.

#HELL MANDALA CLOWN FIGHT #mun writes #drabble : ritsu #HERE WE MOTHER FUCKING GOOOOOOO

3 notes · View notes

honourablejester · 1 month ago

Text

Ooohhhhh my gooood.

I had to look up the context for this, Zerxus appeared in an episode of The Legend of Vox Machina as a devil of Asmodeus in the Hells. And. Oh god. He’s fallen so far. Oh, I feel sick.

And, yes. It makes sense. A thousand years of hell with the arch-manipulator that is Asmodeus preying on his dreams, his hopes, his weaknesses, his prejudices. A thousand years of torment to colour and twist his memories until, as Pike says, he maybe doesn’t know himself that he’s lying. But god. God, to see his memories, or at least his telling of them, twisted this way.

“I was blind as my friends condemned our civilization with their curiosity. Their hubris.”

Says the man who pulled Asmodeus into the material plane quite literally with his own two hands. The man who was the Betrayers’ pawn and access point.

Though, yes, the Calamity was very much a group effort, and it might not have meant anything if Laerryn hadn’t destroyed the tree. But. She didn’t do that for curiosity. She did that for vengeance. Because it attacked her husband. Her curiosity wasn’t the cause of the calamity, the Betrayers didn’t use the Leywright to come through. Her curiosity was, though, the cause of Evandrin’s disappearance, and the reason Zerxus never got to see him again as a human, the reason he could never reunite with him until after he’d fallen. So. It’s possible that he’s merging those two happenings together, that his bitterness and torment are twisting his grievances together and blurring the lines between them.

“I found myself face to face with the Lord of Torment himself. But instead of destroying me, he gave me a choice. Die with the rest or join him, and spare my family.”

This. This is true. But only sort of. Asmodeus killed him, and then offered him servitude as his champion as a means to return to the world to try and protect his family, particularly his son who Asmodeus had just directly threatened. So Asmodeus fully did destroy him, but he gave him the opportunity of more time afterwards, at a ruinous cost. But. That time was enough for Zerxus to help save his son and husband, but only because another tortured servant of the hells, Vespin Chloras, helped him stave off the deal for long enough. Asmodeus himself did not, at any point, promise to spare his family if Zerxus served him.

And the bit that I hate so much, the bit that he ignores, twisted by bitterness, is that he wasn’t left alone in that deal. Nydas Okiro, the friend he so casually throws under the bus as a cause of the Calamity, died to try and free him from that deal. After his family was saved, after they were free, Nydas gave his last breath to kill Zerxus before the deal called due, which would have freed him and allowed him to go to the afterlife. And Zerxus refused. So he could try and redeem Asmodeus.

So at the time that Zerxus finalised his acceptance of the deal, his family were already safe. (Well, as safe as anyone in a world about to enter an apocalyptic god war can be, anyway). He didn’t choose for them. He chose for Asmodeus. And, well, for his own hope and hubris. Nydas died to free him. And Zerxus refused.

Which at least he acknowledges as a folly. For my folly, he says. But god, how he’s twisted and glossed everything. How he’s forgotten what his friends tried to do for him, how he’s elided what he did alongside them.

And yes, even in Calamity, he already had those tendencies. The worst part of it is, none of this is out of character. He already had those tendencies. To gloss everything as the fault of others, to elide his own sins. We saw that all through Calamity. He skirts around his own misdeeds, while demanding the secrets of those around him, and he believes himself more sinned against than sinning. And that’s what the Hells do. They exacerbate the worst of you, while wearing down the best. Zerxus was brave and loyal and true. He gave his life for his people, for the world. He believed in redemption, so strongly that he was willing to offer it to Asmodeus himself, and that belief would have helped save him. Vespin Chloras bought him the time, would have allowed him to avoid the deal, if only Zerxus himself would have followed through, and that was because Zerxus gave Vespin a moment of redemption. He was a good man.

But he was proud. He was bitter. He believed himself better than those around him. And the Hells have used that. So, in the end, he fell. And has kept falling.

And this. This is such a horrible, gut-wrenching glimpse at what is left, after a thousand years of service to the god who betrayed him and, more importantly, lured him into betraying himself.

Does he know he’s lying? That’s the worst of it. Pike says it. When he bellowed that of course he doesn’t wish his family was here, suffering alongside him. “I’m not even sure you knew you were lying.” Does he? Does he know that he’s lying? Or is there not enough left for that?

Oh god. This hurts so badly. What horrible little gut-punch to throw in. Ouch.

I come from a time a thousand years ago, when gods walked among mortals. And the world was ruled by magic. Like you, I protected my home as First Knight, a member of the Brass Ring, a group similar to yours. And also like you, I assumed the best of them. I was blind as my friends condemned our civilization with their curiosity. Their hubris.

You mean the Calamity?

The gods set to war upon Exandria, and in the chaos, I found myself face to face ith the Lord of Torment himself. But instead of destroying me, he gave me a choice. Die with the rest or join him, and spare my family. I thought if I had enough time, I could reach him, save him, tame his turbulant heart. For my folly, I watched my husband and son fade with the rigors of time, losing even the memory of me. As if I never existed at all.

season 3, episode 4 of THE LEGEND OF VOX MACHINA

#critical role #exu calamity #tlovm #spoilers #zerxus ilerez #this hurts so much

5K notes · View notes

hoe-doroki · 3 years ago

Text

Was talking to the lovely @spacelabrathor about bkdk and she asked who realizes their feelings first?

Katsuki realizes them first.

Not to say that it happens soon, of course--neither of these boys are allowed the liberty of being in their feelings enough for that to happen. But perhaps after the LoV is defeated and U.A. is safe and our boys can get on with, idk, getting a standard education, they're able to deal a little more.

Neither of them particularly well.

Deku gets a lot of credit for being emotionally mature or at least in tune with his emotions than he really deserves. Yes, Izuku can tap into those fat tear ducts in a way actors everywhere are jealous of and he has Big Feelings that he verbalizes against his foes. But y'all. That boy has never canonically given himself a moment to process anything.

I could get into a whole meta analysis with it, but just think about it. When Deku finds out that All Might is fated to die, he immediately denies it. He chooses to believe that his own power can stop it, even though All Might is already, well, sickly at best. He has shown very little feeling towards Katsuki's past bullying, outside of some rational fear at the very beginning of the series. When All Might retires, Deku sobs, but doesn't prove to show any further harbored emotional reaction afterwards--Katsuki does. Deku's received so many injuries and faced so many people who genuinely wanted to kill him, and he does nothing but continue to run towards it, putting no weight on anything besides the fact that he has a generational duty, and needs to grow stronger.

It all speaks to the fact that he received very traumatic information when he was young (that he was quirkless) and ever since has been masking similar trauma with denial, fantasy, and a punchy can-do attitude.

Dude has not processed anything.

Meanwhile, Katsuki, our resident candidate for repressed gay of the year, is the one who is making strides with emotional processing. Furthermore, he's one more likely to keep going down that road, as people quickly identify him as a person in need of assistance developing emotionally, and he will likely be pushed towards that help. Instead of Deku, who people already believe is processing things better than he is because he's good at masking and 'passes' as someone emotionally mature.

In chapter 284 (no spoilers), we see the progress that Katsuki has made in how he processes the world in front of him (most especially Deku), and in 319 and its subsequent chapters, we see that Katsuki is able to manipulate Deku in ways that show how well he understands Deku's emotions while Deku is at his strongest stage of denial and masking.

Katsuki is already doing the emotional work. He's already thinking a lot about Deku, and his opinion continues to grow and change and improve towards him, while Deku's opinion towards Katsuki, honestly, hasn't changed much since Deku vs. Kacchan Pt. 2. It is my belief that Katsuki is strongly queer coded (outside of any ship; thought this when I first watched, LONG before I shipped bkdk), and I wouldn't be surprised if he discovered his queerness before he was able to identify or admit feelings for anyone in particular. I would like to think that a lot of peace would come to him then and a lot of pieces would begin to fall into place.

And when that time came, if Katsuki came to Deku with his truth, I do not doubt that Katsuki would recognize the growth that Deku would still need in the long run, because by then, he's the one who knows Deku best. Perhaps even better than Deku knows himself. And then he'd be the one able to help. As he has been, to be honest, the whole series long.

Tl;dr: Deku is emotionally mature passing and Katsuki is the one actually approaching emotional maturity and so he finds his feelings first BOOM.

#caveat that the convo began with me saying 'it happens a gajillion ways in a gajillion different universes'#but this is the idea that i'm most attached to #ANYWAY get yourselves a friend like cee who asks THE BEST questions and then lets you mouth off for days hahahaha #also 'actors everywhere are jealous of' is me #thanks again to cee <3 #bkdk #bkdk headcanon #bakudeku

321 notes · View notes

gladerwolfstarkimagines · 3 years ago

Text

How Avatar characters would react to you coming out as asexual

Aang

Aang is one of the few characters that would know was asexuality is straight away. We know the monks were very welcoming of same-sex relationships and I imagine they'd feel the same way for all LGBTQIA+ identities. So Aang knows what it is and doesn't ask any annoying or offensive questions (cough Sokka cough). Instead he just validates your feelings and makes you feel seen. I imagine this coming out would be very emotional because Aang just understands and is so compassionate and supportive. You'd definitely both be crying by the end of it.

Katara

Has no idea what it is at first but is supportive from the start. The second you say the words "I'm asexual" Katara can feel what this is even if she doesn't know what it means. She knows you're sharing a part of yourself with her and she loves that! So she'd hug you, thank you for telling her and then politely ask if you could explain it to her a little. She wouldn't want to put all the burden of educating her on you but instead goes away afterwards and learns about asexuality herself. She's such a caring friend I imagine she'd definitely buy you anything ace related, paint little ace flags on her cheeks on pride days, ask your boundaries and help affirm your identity if you ever struggle with your asexuality. She'd also definitely fight any acephobes without hesitation healer or not.

Sokka

I love Sokka but something tells me he has no clue was asexuality is and he would be that person who asks all those weird invasive questions the first time you tell him. He of course doesn't mean any harm or offence but it's still not a nice experience. I also imagine he wouldn't know he's said anything wrong until Katara pulls him up on it. Then, after he gets over being told off, he'd be very apologetic. Once he understands how he hurt you he'd be upset and work to do everything in his power to show you he's sorry. In a relationship sense I imagine Sokka might have the most adjusting to do just because it's not a concept he's heard of before and it's different to the typical macho expectation he has about relationships. So he'd be a little quiet and unsure at first and things would be tense but then he'd get his head around it (probably thanks to Katara again) and realise nothing's really changed! You're still the same person just you've found your identity. He loves you so he should support that and he does. After that he'd get to the stage of being so proud of you for living in all your aceness, definitely bragging that his partner is ace and then giggling to himself at the joke.

Azula

Azula is smart so I figured she'd have heard about asexuality having read it somewhere. I think Azula would be a very protective friend so she'd just support and guide you. She'd definitely be that friend ready to fight all the acephobes and if anyone ever makes you feel lesser for being ace they will burn. As a partner I've kind of touched on this before but I don't think this would be a deal-breaker for Azula. When Azula chooses a partner it is for their strong character and brilliant mind, not just the physical side. The only part I think she'd struggle with would be the keeping up appearances part and feeling like she's not like other couples...but I imagine that FOMO would decrease as she matured and realised she loved her partner way more than society's expectations of her. I also headcanon Azula as aromantic or ace herself so honestly I feel like after she's adjusted to her life being slightly different to other people's she'd really like it.

Zuko

As a friend Zuko would be hopelessly lost but supportive. He has no clue what asexuality is but once you explain he gets it and supports you. I honestly think Zuko would be like "there's a word for that" and relate to you on a lot of aspects. As a partner I think Zuko would be so relieved in the sense that a lot of pressure and expectation is lifted. I always find it amusing how Zuko is headcanoned as a "hot" character but when we see him with Mai he's pretty awkward and unsure. So I imagine he'd be so relieved his partner is ace because it means he doesn't have to necessarily erm perform quite so much which is a huge weight off his mind. I could definitely see Zuko being somewhere on the ace spectrum so there might even be a really cute moment where your coming out helps Zuko realise he's also ace. Happy tears all around.

Toph

Has no idea what asexuality is and like Sokka kind of makes a mess of it at first. Lowkey insulting you and just being generally insensitive...but of course without meaning to, it's just her way. Once Toph realises she went too far and joked about something she shouldn't have she would be full of apologies. She'd still be pretty unsure because emotions don't come easy to her but I can so see her being one of those friends who asks "what can I do to help support you?" and basically just needs a little education. Then if anyone says anything mildly acephobic around Toph Beifong...they better fear for their lives because Toph is an ace ally and she will not stand for anything less.

Mai

Mai isn't really one for labels so I imagine she'd not have much of a reaction. After you explain it to her I feel like she'd just nod or thank you for telling her and then change the subject but not in a dismissive way just in a "cool sexuality isn't as big a deal as society makes it out to be" kind of way. To Mai I don't think it would be a huge deal at all, if you were her partner or friend, I get the sense she isn't too touchy anyway so I don't think it would really change things between you at all (am I trying to say I also suspect Mai could be on the ace spectrum.............yes). She'd also be that quiet supportive partner who notices when something is bothering you and speaks up if someone's being rude or insensitive. Mai does not hold back when someone is hurting someone she cares about.

Ty lee

Ty lee is one of the only other characters besides Aang and Azula whom I think would know what asexuality is and I think she'd be very supportive as well. As a friend she'd ask what support you need from her and be that cute ally who sends you ace posts she finds or headcanons ace characters with you. Ty lee is well educated on the LGBTQIA+ community and she'd be able to listen as you vent about all the issues ace people face and she'd just get it. As a partner again I think she'd be supportive af. I imagine Ty lee is a very loving, supportive partner so there's no way she's going to steamroll over your wants and preferences. She only wants you to feel love and comfortable so immediately asks your boundaries so the two of you can work out a healthy system that works for everyone.

Suki

Suki is a queen so again while she's not sure what asexuality is she'd be respectful and supportive. Similar to Katara she'd sense the importance of what you're telling her and give you a big smile and hug. She knows what it's like to find a community that gets you so I can imagine her helping you set up an ace organisation (if you were from the fire nation it could be called "fire aces" which sounds so cool) so you can have your own "warrior sisters". As a partner I feel like Suki would be the perfect balance between being logical and respectful. She'd sit down with you and discuss how you're feeling and how she can best support you as your girlfriend. She'd regularly check your boundaries haven't changed and be very accommodating. Kyoshi would be proud.

____________

I know I missed Ace Visibility day was last Sunday but this idea only came to be on Tuesday so Ace Gods please forgive me! So and I hope this isn't necessary, no acephobic comments will be tolerated. Asexuality is a valid identity and we are wonderful members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Also just to note that obviously not every ace relationship is going to work and sometimes couples will split up because they're not compatible sexually, that is totally fine. In this instance I made all the couples work because 1. Aces never really hear stories with happy endings like this 2. there is still quite a lot of focus on the ace person in these relationships with the implication they're "the problem" and so I wanted to centre the ace but affirm ace people are not a burden in a relationship. Their partner is not "losing" anything but gaining an awesome partner! So that's also why I made all the relationships work to highlight how it's great to be ace and anyone would be lucky to have us.

I might do a part two with Lok and Rise of Kyoshi characters too. I really want to write more ace content so hopefully aceness will become more frequent.

124 notes · View notes

cbrownjc · 10 months ago

Note

Spoilers for the book (and probably the show as well) regarding Claudia:

This is one of the main reasons the show is NOT going to spare Claudia, and she IS going to die. Because Claudia's death -- and the repercussions of it -- is basically a treatise on the death of five-year-old Michele Rice and how Anne was not only grieving her, but felt as if she had failed her. That is basically the heart of the story of Interview with the Vampire, and Louis was her avatar in exploring those feelings of grief and feelings of failure.

I said it before, and I'll say it again here: removing Claudia's death from this story removes and changes the story into something completely AU. Claudia's death not only informs three major characters going forward (Louis, Lestat, and Armand), she basically haunts the narrative of the majority of the subsequent books afterward.

I know there are people in fandom now who don't want this death to happen. And I know some of it has to do with the race change that Claudia's character has now had. They just really don't want to see a young black girl go through the subsequent horror that Claudia goes through in the narrative wrt her death. And I want to make it clear that I understand that aversion.

But changing Claudia's fate simply because of her race, narratively, does not make sense in the way the show has adapted the book. Because what the show is clearly setting up is how even more tragic her death will be because of, not only the neglect she's faced, but the failure from adults in her life that Claudia has endured even when she was human, before she was turned.

People failed this little black girl left and right, when she was both human and then immortal. After her mother died in childbirth, her biological father abandoned her with an aunt who abused her. There were creepy men who would do things like watch her go to the bathroom, whom her aunt never protected her from.

And then there is Louis and Lestat.

Louis, who convinced himself that he was saving her when he pulled her out of the fire and begged Lestat to turn her -- to turn her into a never-aging monstrous creature at only 14 years of age. All to assuage his own guilt, instead of, as Claudia rightly told him, taking her to a hospital.

And then there is Lestat, who knew that turning her was a mistake, that she was too young. But did it anyway, because Louis wanted her. And he couldn't refuse Louis anything for fear of losing him.

Season 2 is just going to continue this theme of people failing Claudia, especially Louis. As Daniel rightly told him in the Season 1 finale:

"You cursed her into the darkness. You chose Lestat over her time and time again."

And now, in Season 2, the setup is already being shown that Louis will begin to choose someone else over her -- Armand.

Armand, who does what he does to her not only because he wants Louis to himself, but because -- as much as he loves and desires Louis, he does not -- can not -- love her, even though Louis does.

Claudia's death is not being set up to be exploitative, as one can rightfully argue many black characters' deaths in such stories usually are. The show's narrative is setting it up to not only be incredibly tragic but, most importantly, how this young black girl was failed by everyone around her at every turn of her life.

Her death will not be just glossed over and forgotten either, as what more often than not happens with black characters in media. As with the book, her death, her character, will haunt the narrative -- and the characters in the show, especially Louis -- going forward.

So yes, Claudia has to die. Changing that would undermine the very reason why the story of Interview with the Vampire was written in the first place: the death of the author's daughter. Louis was the character created specifically to express and deal with the feeling of guilt and failure regarding that death.

To not have that death would be removing something that completely collapses not only the story of IWTV, but most of the following books as well. However, the show is clearly setting it up in a way that I don't think will be at all exploitative wrt Claudia's race on the show, but will actually not only emphasize the tragedy of it, but will have viewers empathizing with how this young girl, this young black girl, was failed by everyone in her life; by those who could, and should have, protected her.

Has Anne Rice ever confirmed officially that Claudia=Michele?

^Stan and Michele Rice on the left, Lestat and Claudia de Lioncourt on the right. As a side note, before this gets into the more serious topic, AR has said she based Lestat on Stan, and there is a story out there that his name was meant to be “Lestan,” but ended up as “Lestat” bc of a typographical error. I don’t have a source on that.

Re: Claudia=Michele?

From the Vampire Companion:

(In the first draft of [IWTV], Rice described Claudia as three or four years old.)… Rice based Claudia’s appearance on her own daughter, Michele, who died at the age of five from leukemia. Claudia even shares Michele’s birthday, September 21.* However, despite the intense tone of suffering and guilt evident in Louis’s telling of the story, Rice insists that she had not been aware that she had included her feelings about Michele’s tragic death. “I never consciously thought about it when I was writing the book,” she says. “I wasn’t conscious of the connection. I knew that I was using the physical beauty of Michele as the model, but Claudia was a fictional character in her own right. The character, the voice, and the things Claudia say have nothing to do with my daughter - but there’s no question that this is the symbolic working out of a terrible grief. What else can it possibly be?”

In the first version of [IWTV], Claudia eventually goes off with three vampire brothers whom she meets in Paris. She does not die. As such, it was as if Rice had attempted to give her daughter a form of immortality. Rice, however, experienced psychological problems that cleared up only after she had rewritten the ending - by killing off Claudia and taking Louis through an experience of intense grieving. This version was much more cathartic for Rice.

*This is mentioned in canon in Claudia’s diary entry in QOTD, which recounts one of her birthdays.

Hit the jump for more, cut for length, not content.

Keep reading

236 notes · View notes

edendaphne · 3 years ago

Text

“Discordant Sonata” Chapter 21

>>Click here to read on Ao3<<

>>Click here to read on Wattpad<<

–––––

CHAPTER 21: IMPROVVISANDO

Music glossary: Improvvisando: with improvisation

Glossary: Wǎnshàng hǎo : Good evening Shīfù : Teacher/Master

(Mood music: Night of Beijing - Jia Peng Fang)

That evening

Marinette fidgeted with her napkin, occasionally sipping her now-lukewarm tea while sitting at the kitchen bar counter. Chat Noir sat on the stool beside her in silence, also nursing a half-emptied cup. She checked the clock for what seemed to be the hundredth time in the last few minutes.

“It’s about that time. I’ll head up to my room to let Ladybug inside. Will you get the door if your visitor arrives before she does?”

“Sure,” he replied, uneasy but compliant, doing his best to avoid staring at the black eye she’d received earlier that day.

Marinette set her cup in the sink and headed upstairs, leaving Chat alone with his thoughts.

He tried to keep his fast-beating heart in check, subconsciously clenching his jaw. It was finally happening. He was going to meet “him”: The Guardian of the Miraculous.

Following the events at school earlier that day, Adrien had walked Marinette to her house, where her family invited him to stay for a cup of tea until his “ride” arrived to pick him up. Of course, he’d eagerly accepted. It was nice to interact with the family as Adrien instead of just as Chat Noir.

After leaving, he hid away and transformed so he could sneak in through Marinette’s balcony as he usually did.

Upon transforming, however, he found a series of voice mails from Ladybug that she’d left during Adrien’s attempted abduction. Her voice was frantic. He could hear the urgency and distress in her tone, and a heavy blanket of guilt settled onto his shoulders as he listened.

The first message asked him to come to their school, that it was an emergency, to please call her back as soon as possible. He chewed on his lip, wanting nothing more than to hide away in a cave in shame.

The second one must have been left right after she’d rescued Adrien and left him at the school nurse; she’d called to let Chat know the incident had passed. Then she asked if he was okay, since she hadn’t heard back from him. He sighed. Typical Ladybug, always worrying and thinking about others first, even when she was having a rough time.

The last voicemail caused a trail of ice to trickle down his spine as he listened. Ladybug informed him that she had scheduled an impromptu meeting with the Guardian at the Dupain-Cheng’s house that evening, with Marinette’s permission, and that it was of utmost importance that he attend.

He shivered as goosebumps appeared on his arms and he swallowed hard. What was the purpose of this meeting? Was he in trouble for not showing up today during ‘Adrien’s’ kidnapping? And why meet here, at the Dupain home, instead of somewhere more private and away from civilians? What was the Guardian like? Would Chat get reprimanded and treated with disdain for having been their enemy for all these years, or would he be understanding and forgiving?

More importantly, would he have to disclose his identity to him, or to both him and Ladybug, to prove his loyalty? He winced at the mere thought of it. The last thing he wanted was for Ladybug to think less of him, or to pity him. Especially after the kidnapping attempt.

Additionally, if they were to learn that Hawkmoth was Gabriel Agreste, would they want to confront him head-on? Adrien didn’t feel ready for that, for several reasons.

First of all, would he be able to protect Ladybug, as he’d promised her? Hawkmoth had shown that he’d developed some sort of new power. Either that, or an entirely different person had become involved and was helping him. In any case, he didn’t know what exactly they were dealing with anymore.

Secondly, if the time came and he had to hurt or even kill his father, he didn’t know if he’d be able to do it. Yes, Gabriel was a monster and Adrien despised what he had become. But what if the damage was reversible and there was still a way to bring him back to normal? He just had to know, before doing something he might permanently regret.

The sudden ringing of the doorbell startled Chat out of his thoughts and he practically fell off his seat.

He ran to answer the front door, looking to make sure no one else was around. At the last second, he remembered to detransform and slip on the hood of his zip-up sweater (the one Marinette had gifted him), pulling a scarf over his nose and mouth so he wouldn’t be recognized if anyone outside were to catch a glimpse of him.

He looked out through the peephole, only to see the very top of someone’s head, balding with grey hair, and a little bit of their eyebrows.

Huh. Somehow Adrien thought the Guardian would be a bit… taller?

He turned the knob and the door opened, its squeaking hinges somehow louder than usual. Peeking out from the side like a scared tortoise, he checked to make sure the individual matched the description he was given, then stepped back to allow the door to swing open all the way. The older man stepped inside, closing it behind him.

“Hello,” Adrien said meekly, bowing his head slightly. “You must be…”

“Yes. I am Wang Fu,” he replied, bowing politely in greeting. “It is very good to see you again, Adrien Agreste.”

While Adrien’s face scarf efficiently concealed the way his jaw dropped when the elder man called him by name, there was no hiding the way his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates.

“W- what?!” he sputtered. “How did you—”

The man called Fu chuckled, stroking his beard. “It was a long time ago, but we’ve met before.”

Adrien lowered his scarf and frowned in concentration, falling silent for a few seconds. Then it dawned on him.

“YOU!!” he gaped. “I do remember you! It was my first day of lycée! You fell down in front of our school and I helped you up. It was you who put the cat miraculous in my bag that day, wasn’t it?”

“That is correct,” Fu confirmed.

“But why me? You could’ve picked anyone, so why did you choose someone like me?”

Fu’s smile faltered when he said this. Adrien had said “anyone”, but he could see that Fu knew what he’d actually meant. Why did you choose someone as broken as me?

The man folded his arms behind him, considering his answer. “Guardians are bestowed with several powers and abilities. One of them is to locate and select good candidates for the miraculous jewels. And so I was led to you.”

Chat grimaced in confusion. “So if you already knew it was me, why bother to ‘test’ me?”

“My powers as a guardian may lead me to a potential candidate, but ultimately the choice is still mine to make. It was a simple test, but it showed me what your first instinct would be if you saw someone in need. The answer I received was satisfactory. You were meant to be Ladybug’s Chat Noir.”

Adrien sighed, running a shaky hand through his hair. “Honestly, a couple of months ago I wouldn’t have known whether to hug you because I got to become Chat Noir, or whether to punch you because I had to become Chat Noir. But it’s because of you that I got to meet Ladybug, so I am grateful to you for that. It’s good to finally meet you. Officially.”

He extended his hand and Fu took it with a smile, giving it a firm shake.

Afterwards, Adrien’s gaze fell, brows scrunching together. “I can’t believe it. All this time, you knew. You could’ve told Ladybug who I was years ago. She could have figured out a way to take away my miraculous while I wasn’t transformed, like at school, and she would’ve had one less enemy to deal with. It would’ve––” he pursed his lips, expression full of shame, and he lifted his eyes to meet Fu’s once again, “–it would’ve made it easier for her. She would’ve suffered less if I’d been out of the picture. So why didn’t you?”

Fu’s countenance became somber, his eyes carrying years of pain and regret. He took a few moments to consider his words. “When I was a boy, barely a teenager, something terrible happened. Hundreds of innocent people died, and it was all because of me.”

Chat almost reeled back as if he’d been smacked across the face, puzzled about the sudden switch in topic. He remembered Ladybug briefly mentioning this a few months ago, on the night they danced together. He waited for Fu to elaborate.

“I was only trying to protect them,” the older man explained. “After I was orphaned as a child, the monks of the Guardian Temple took me in. They became my family. They were stern, but fair and kind. It was a tough childhood, but I was happy.” He sighed. “However, there were those who would try to steal the miraculous and use their power selfishly. It was an endless struggle. Many were lost over the years. I longed for peace. I wanted my family to be safe, I wanted us to be left alone. So I did what I thought would be a better route, an easier one; one with less hardship and bloodshed. You see, one day while I was supposed to be on guard duty, I sneaked away to where the miraculous box was kept. I put on both the ladybug and cat miraculouses and used them to make a wish: I wished that our enemies would disappear.”

The older man exhaled, squeezing his eyes shut, the memories of what came next clearly still haunting him. Adrien couldn’t help but hold his breath while he listened.

“It worked,” Fu resumed, voice quiet and slightly shaky. “But as you might have suspected, there is always a price to pay; a balance that must be maintained. Therefore, because of my wish, all the monks in our Guardian temple and the innocent people of the surrounding village were ripped away from me, along with our enemies. The wish was technically fulfilled, but I never suspected that the cost would be that high. I have had to live with that in my conscience for over a hundred years.”

He clasped his hands behind his back, appearing more vulnerable than Adrien would have ever expected. He continued, “Since that time, I have both seen and caused much death in my lifetime, protecting the miraculous box alone as the last Guardian. So, you see, if there was even one person I could save, I had to try. I wanted to trust in the miraculouses, like I should have decades ago, during my misguided attempt to control the outcome of a complicated situation.”

Adrien absently rubbed his arm, pondering Fu’s words. “Looking back,” he began, “I can see the reasoning behind a lot of Ladybug’s decisions and principles, now that I know your story.”

“Indeed. Ladybug is a remarkable young lady; I knew that even back then. When I would ask her if she was willing to risk her life for the sake of a stranger, she would say yes, every single time. If anyone can persevere for the greater good, it was her. Was it unfair of me? Probably. Have I asked too much from her? Absolutely. Have I made mistakes while trying to guide her? Yes. Many of them.” He put his hand on Adrien’s shoulder. “I wanted to save you that day by giving you the cat miraculous. But I never would have guessed that it would also doom you and force you into a role of servitude. I hope that you will forgive me for this.”

Adrien’s heart pained for Fu as he admitted his guilt. “You couldn’t have known it would’ve turned out that way. It wasn’t your fault,” he insisted.

Fu shrugged. “I try to tell myself that, but I can’t quite convince myself. The situation made sense once Ladybug told me about Hawkmoth.”

“You mean, when she told you that Hawkmoth was my father?” Adrien asked.

“Yes,” Fu replied. “I had my suspicions, because it would explain your motivations, but I had no proof, no way of finding out for sure. It made sense that Hawkmoth would be Gabriel Agreste. The butterfly miraculous requires its wielder to be creative and inventive, since it relies on their ability to convert the subject’s emotions into a source of power. And he had the motivation.”

Adrien hummed in agreement.

“Additionally, such a clever and talented individual getting ahold of the cat miraculous would be incredibly dangerous. I’d be lying if I said I had never considered taking your miraculous away. But even still, it was safer to let it all play out. I didn’t want to repeat past mistakes. And if Hawkmoth was Gabriel Agreste, your fate if you were to lose the cat miraculous would have been disastrous. Maybe it would have even alerted him about the presence of a Guardian in Paris. But now that we know the truth, we can plan accordingly.”

Adrien gulped. So Fu had considered taking his miraculous away before. “A-are you going to tell Ladybug who I am?”

Fu shook his head. “It is not up to me to decide when it will be right for there to be no more secrets between you two. I only know that it is not yet time.”

Adrien curiously tilted his head, brows furrowed in confusion. “How do you know that?”

As Fu started to answer, Adrien heard a doorknob twist open behind him and he quickly pulled his scarf back over his features.

The door opened and Ladybug’s voice exclaimed, “There you are! What are you two doing out here in the entryway?”

Adrien cleared his throat, then stammered, “R-right, pardon my manners. Please, come in.”

Fu walked past him, entering the living area. He took Ladybug’s hands between his, shaking them briefly, and said, “Wǎnshàng hǎo, Ladybug.”

With a small bow, Ladybug replied, “Wǎnshàng hǎo, shīfù. Thank you for coming at such short notice. Please, have a seat.”

Chat entered the room, having transformed now, and stepped forward to greet her.

He stopped short, realizing that he wasn’t quite sure how to greet her since last night’s development in their relationship, not to mention being very conscious of the Guardian watching them. He settled for a hug, which she returned, squeezing him tightly, and added a quick, discreet peck on his cheek. He smiled, feeling his face heat up.

Pleasantries aside and everyone seated, it was Ladybug who spoke first.

“Thank you both for being here. There’s a lot we need to talk about.”

----------

A transformed Wang Fu stood at the bedroom window, curtains drawn, chanting in a language that neither Ladybug nor Chat Noir understood, holding the last of several metallic talismans he’d blessed and scattered around the room. The pair kept their eyes on him, marveling at the efficiency and care that he put into each incantation. There was something sacred, even holy about this ritual. They could feel powerful magic emanating from his form, invisible bursts of energy swirling about the room, dancing all around them in a silent symphony.

Ladybug cast a furtive glance at her partner. He’d been quiet for a little while, after learning about his attempted akumatization the night before. Ladybug had told him that it was Marinette who let her know, and that Plagg was the one who had informed her.

She’d called Master Fu before going to school to let him know what happened last night, and he promised he would figure out a solution. He’d spent all day preparing these special talismans, which would ward off akumas and keep them from entering this room. But only this room. He wasn’t strong enough to cast such a potent, long-term spell over a larger area; especially not at his age.

Fu, or rather, Jade Turtle, was silent for a few moments after placing the last charm, a silver one with indecipherable symbols carved into it, then turned around to face the couple.

“The talismans are almost done being enchanted,” he said, pretty out of breath, beads of sweat present on his brow. “There is one more thing that needs to be done. But I think I’ll need your help for this, Ladybug.”

Ladybug stepped forward in response. “Sure, Master. What is it?”

“I would do it myself, but, well… let’s just say I’m not as young as I used to be.”

“Of course Master, anything you need. Just tell me what to do.”

Fu removed his bracelet, the turtle miraculous, and turned back to his civilian self, then handed the jewelry to her. His kwami, Wayzz, floated next to them awaiting instruction.

“If you could transform with my miraculous to finish the protection spell, I’d very much appreciate it. I’ll show you what to do when you’re ready.”

The young woman gaped at him, having never transformed into any hero other than Ladybug before.

“Oh! R-really?? S-sure! No problem...” She took the bracelet hesitantly, studying it like she’d never seen it before, then excused herself to the ensuite for privacy.

In the bathroom, Ladybug detransformed and removed her earrings, handing them to Tikki for safekeeping. She put on the emerald stone bracelet, staring at it as if it might try to crawl away from her if she wasn’t careful enough.

She squeezed her eyes shut in preparation. “Wayzz, shell on.”

Jade green light shone around the bathroom, and Marinette felt the magic of the turtle miraculous engulf her form. When it passed, she gulped and opened her eyes, lifting them to the mirror to catch a glimpse of her newly transformed self.

“Whoa.”

The heroine stared at her reflection across the way. She ran her fingers over the various bits of fabric and armor, taking the time to appreciate the feel and texture. Somehow, she felt quite powerful. Tough. Solid. Almost like a sentient brick wall.

“Wow, Marinette! You look incredible!” Tikki whispered to her.

“Aww, thank you Tikki,” she replied. “It feels so different, but it’s also really cool.”

Sparing one last glance into the mirror, she finally emerged from the bathroom. Fu was seated at the desk chair across the room, taking a short breather. Chat was speaking to him in hushed tones, but turned around when he heard her re-enter the bedroom.

His jaw dropped and he gasped.

“Oh my God, you’re adorable!” Chat blurted out. He caught himself and turned tomato red, then stuttered, “Umm! S-sorry, I––”

Ladybug (Lady...turtle??) giggled, stepping forward to stand beside him once again. “Thanks,” she replied shyly, reaching up to tuck some hair behind her ear as she usually did when she was nervous, but her hand bumped into her suit’s hood instead. Not quite sure what to do with her hands, she folded them in front of her as she awaited further instruction.

Tikki flew in front of Master Fu, bowing her head in greeting. “It’s good to see you again, Master!”

“Likewise. I hope you are doing well,” he greeted back.

Tikki flew over to Chat Noir, to say hello to him as well. “Hello, Chat Noir! It’s nice to formally meet you,” she chirped happily.

Chat beamed and answered, “Tikki, right? It’s great to finally meet you too! I must admit, you look a little different than I thought you would.”

Tikki giggled. “Did you think I’d be more insect-like? Maybe with six legs and an exoskeleton?”

Chat shrugged timidly. “Well, I mean… Maybe…?” ‘Ladybug’ and Tikki looked at each other and snickered at his reply.

Fu smiled at their interactions fondly, recalling times spent with loved ones, allies no longer here. With a small grunt, he stood up to continue the protection ritual.

“This way, Ladybug. Chat Noir and Tikki, please stand over there; we’ll need a bit of space for this. You might feel a bit tired once this is finished, so be sure to get plenty of rest tonight,” he instructed.

Tikki perched on Chat’s shoulder as he moved towards the edge of the room. They spoke in hushed voices as Fu instructed Ladybug and had her repeat phrases from his notes.

While they waited, Chat turned to Tikki and whispered, “By the way, I wanted to thank you... for helping Ladybug and keeping safe all these years. She means a lot to me.”

If kwamis could blush, Chat was sure that’s what Tikki’s face showed at the moment. “It’s been a pleasure to be her kwami. She’s the best! I’m glad you’ve gotten to know her and see what a sweet person she is.”

Chat smiled, cheeks dusted pink. “I am too.”

------

Many minutes passed, and Ladybug and Fu finished casting the protection ward. Chat helped Fu gather his things as Ladybug excused herself to transform back to her regular hero self.

As she re-emerged from the bathroom, Chat handed her a glass of water and invited her to sit on the bed so she could catch her breath and gather back some of her energy. “Welcome back, Lily-bug,” he greeted her with a wink. Ladybug beamed at him, accepting the water and taking a seat next to him.

Fu stood beside them, having finished gathering his belongings in a satchel. As he gave Ladybug time to rest, he asked, “Do either of you have any questions about the protection ritual, or about anything else?”

Ladybug replied, “I actually do have some questions, sir.”

Fu nodded.

“Master... why did Hawkmoth attempt to akumatize Chat Noir last night? If he’s tried it before, why did he not succeed during other nights?” Ladybug’s questions came faster once she got started. “Since he tried to akumatized Chat, does that mean he knows where he lives now? Is Chat even safe here anymore? What about the Dupains? Are they gonna be okay? How much does Hawkmoth know?”

Chat looked at Fu expectantly, realizing that he, too, had those same questions.

Fu replied, “The owner of the butterfly miraculous sends out his butterflies in search of a specific strong emotion, but is not aware of their location until after the host accepts it. He is able to learn some vague details about why they are feeling that certain emotion. My guess is that he was able to locate him while he was having a nightmare. So, no. He does not know that Chat Noir lives here. His powers have limitations, just like you do with yours. He is more powerful since he is older and more experienced, but even he can’t overextend the capabilities of his miraculous.”

He paused, stroking his beard, and contemplated. Then he asked, “Did something happen last night to make your emotions different from what they normally are?”

Ladybug and Chat Noir looked at each other, blushing furiously, stammering as they attempted to answer without divulging too much unnecessary information.

Fu raised an eyebrow, then chuckled knowingly, raising his hands to stop them. “It’s okay, I don’t need to know the details.”

“Umm! I-it’s not what you think!”

“M-master, don’t misunderstand–”

“Y-you see–”

“What happened was…”

“My guess is–” Fu interrupted, “–That Hawkmoth sensed your great joy last night, and became enraged. He couldn’t stand the thought of you being happy because it would mean that he is in the wrong, and his pride won’t allow him to accept that.”

Chat and Ladybug fell silent, looking downcast, as the explanation both made sense yet was immensely disheartening.

“There’s something else, Master,” Ladybug spoke again. “Something happened at school today. Akumas, but they vanished without a trace. I mentioned it to you earlier today over the phone. Have you ever heard of such a thing?”

“Ah, yes. And all that remained was two white feathers?” Fu asked.

“That’s right. Could the akumas still be out there because they haven’t been purified?”

Fu shook his head. “Allow me to explain. Firstly, as Ladybug already knows, two of the miraculouses in my box went missing when the temple of the guardians was destroyed: the butterfly and the peacock. One of them fell into Hawkmoth’s hands sometime within the last few years. But after hearing about what happened at the school today, we can now confirm that Hawkmoth is currently in possession of not just one, but of both of them. Either that, or he has someone else working under him.”

“The Peacock… of course!” Ladybug gasped, voice filled with dread.

Chat looked at her, then back at Fu, waiting for him to elaborate.

“The Guardian’s Grimoire calls them ‘sentimonsters’, mystical beings created out of thin air using the peacock miraculous, which harnesses the power of emotions. They can be created and destroyed whenever the wielder desires. Usually they are simple creatures, designed to be helpers or perform smaller tasks. However, they can also be more sophisticated, even indistinguishable from other humans, although an enormous amount of energy is required to create these complex sentimonsters. One can even ‘borrow’ the appearance of an already existing person. In this case, Hawkmoth chose not to give the sentimonsters the ability to speak, so they couldn’t divulge their secrets, in the event that they were caught.”

Ladybug shuddered. “What the hell?! That is so creepy.”

“Indeed.” Fu looked over at Chat, who had remained pensive throughout this exchange. “Any thoughts, Chat Noir?”

Chat looked up at him, trying to figure out how to phrase what he wanted to say. “I… I think I remember seeing the peacock miraculous in my father’s safe once. I only caught a glimpse of it; I just thought it was some of my mom’s jewelry he kept as a memento. I had no idea it was a miraculous. Otherwise, I would’ve had Plagg help me break into the safe and taken it with me when I ran away from home. There are so many things my father never told me… I’m sorry I don’t know more.”

Ladybug reached out to hold his hand, giving it a small squeeze, which he returned.

“You’ve done more than you know, believe me,” Fu replied as he unconsciously squeezed his satchel, which contained the electronic tablet where his copy of the Grimoire was stored.

He stuck his hand in his pocket and stepped forward, handing Chat Noir a card with his cell phone number.

“Call me if you have any questions, either of you. Even if it’s the middle of the night. Wayzz will make sure I hear my phone if it rings; he’s a much lighter sleeper than I am.”

“Thank you, Master Fu,” replied Chat, smiling. “And thank you too, Wayzz.”

“Thanks, Wayzz. Thank you, Master.” said Ladybug.

“Also, I must remind you once again that your identities must remain a secret until things settle down. There are negative effects that could happen if you are revealed too soon, and I’m not sure what they could be; but it’s best not to find out.”

Ladybug frowned. “But when will that be, Master? It would be so much easier to be able to communicate without having to transform.”

Fu shrugged helplessly. “I’m afraid I don’t have an answer for that. We must allow things to continue to develop on their own. I'm sure we’ll know when the time is right.”

Ladybug let out a displeased sigh. Chat nodded, glancing away with a worried look in his eyes. Despite Ladybug’s eagerness (and despite his own curiosity), waiting suited him just fine for now.

After saying their goodbyes, Fu left the pair behind and let himself out with a final wave. The two heroes remained in the bedroom, contemplating what had been discussed.

After sitting in silence for a few moments, unsure of what to say next, a lightbulb seemed to light up inside Ladybug’s brain, and she began typing away into her yo-yo communicator. Chat watched curiously, wondering what she was up to.

Moments later, she hopped out of the bed to jot something down onto a sticky note from Chat’s desk, then walked back.

“Just because we can’t tell each other who we are doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be able to contact each other when we’re not transformed. Kwamis aren’t pagers, after all.”

“Pagers? What decade is this, anyway?” Chat razzed.

“Hush, you,” she mock scolded him, suppressing a smile. “ Anyway! Here’s my brand new, Chat Noir-exclusive email address,” she said, handing him the note with a wink.

Chat’s eyes lit up. “Wait, really??” He unfolded the paper as if it was a Christmas present, excited to read the contents. His eyes widened and he burst out laughing.

“ ‘[email protected]’ ?!”

“What, you don't think I’m great?” she teased, striking an exaggerated, Chat Noir-style pose.

Chat’s snickering only intensified and he nodded. “Oh, for sure! The greatest!” he agreed.

Ladybug smirked. “I made it just now,” she explained. “So you’re the only one who knows about it. We may not be able to hang out in person yet, but I’d still like to talk to you during the day. Plus, it’ll come in handy for emergencies.”

“Buginette you’re a genius!”

Ladybug giggled, feeling her face warm up despite herself. “M-maybe we can message each other when you have some free time? I mean… now that you don’t have to worry about getting akumatized in your own room anymore. Your bedroom’s pretty much the safest place in Paris now, thanks to Master Fu.”

“And thanks to you, as well, my dear ‘Lily-bug’,” Chat reached up to take her hand, gently pulling her down to sit next to him. “I feel much better already. And knowing I can talk to you anytime makes me feel even safer.”

She scooted closer, setting her head down on his shoulder. “Y-you know… you make me feel safe too, Kitty.”

Chat’s insides twisted into pleasant little knots, suddenly feeling rather warm. “Really?”

He felt her smile as her hand squeezed his arm, her other one sneaking across their laps to wrap her fingers around his own. “Yeah. I know we’ve only been allies for a short time, but I’ve already lost count of all the times you’ve saved me or sacrificed yourself to help others. Our partnership grows stronger every day, and I think Hawkmoth knows it. He knows we’re stronger together. And it’s only a matter of time until we can be together without these masks too, I just know it.”

He turned towards her, putting his fingers under her chin and lifting her head to have her look up at him. Their eyes met, her pupils dilating as they focused on his own, and he could see a bright blush blooming on her cheeks.

“Me too,” he whispered, as he brought their lips together.

She blissfully melted into him, letting out a small noise of contentment. She deepened the kiss, reaching behind his head to caress his hair with her slender fingers. Their kisses and breaths mingled together and they lost track of everything else around them.

A little while later, they faintly heard the grandfather clock striking the hour in the living room, then some noises as the Dupains shuffled upstairs from the bakery to get ready for bed.

Ladybug pulled back and they separated, his lips still tingling from her touch.

“I… I should probably get going soon,” she lamented with a small shrug. “It’s starting to get late.”

“Would you like me to walk you home? Or rather, to somewhere around your neighborhood?”

She shook her head. “That’s not necessary. Besides, I’m closer than you might think,” she added a bit cryptically.

“I wish you could stay,” he said softly, reaching up to tuck some hair behind her ear. He gave her nose a tiny smooch. “Just a teeeeensy bit more?” he begged, giving her the best kitten eyes he could muster.

Ladybug giggled shyly, cheeks still dusted with pink. She gave his own nose a peck, her lips soft and inviting. “Well… I guess I could stay just a little bit longer,” she said with a smirk.

“Purr- fect,” he said, capturing her lips once again.

-------------

Note:

Many of the events in the “Volpina” and “Collector” episodes happened in this AU, albeit heavily modified to suit the story. Adrien found the grimoire in his father’s safe, took it out to study it, and Lila stole it. Since Adrien didn’t act impressed about Lila knowing Ladybug, she didn’t magnify the lie and claim to be Ladybug’s best friend; therefore, Ladybug never showed up to call her out on her lie, and Lila was never akumatized.

However, Tikki did see the book in the dumpster and retrieved it, and Marinette showed it to Master Fu. After Gabriel discovered the book was missing and pulled Adrien out of school, Fu made a copy so that Marinette could return it to Gabriel, and Adrien was allowed to attend school again. Currently, Adrien has no idea that this is how Fu acquired his grimoire; he merely assumes that Fu has always had his own copy.

Of course, Marinette began to suspect that Gabriel might be Hawkmoth because he owned the grimoire. Gabriel akumatized himself into the Collector in order to avoid suspicion, and with Chat’s help, almost succeeded in obtaining the ladybug miraculous. Ultimately, Ladybug outsmarted him, got him to accidentally “collect” Chat, and succeeded in purifying his akuma. But by then, Gabriel had “proven” he was an innocent civilian and Ladybug dismissed his potential involvement as Hawkmoth.

----

P.S. Another note: Certain things that are similar but not identical to canon have been in my outline since the beginning, so I apologize if they're a little confusing (such as the protection talismans being similar to Ladybug's akuma victims' lucky charms or the destruction/disappearance of the Guardian Temple)

#Miraculous Ladybug #Ladynoir #Enemies AU #enemies to lovers #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Adrien Agreste #Chat Noir #Ladybug #fanfiction #Discordant Sonata #ML AU #aged up #Eden writes

179 notes · View notes

somebody-909 · 3 years ago

Text

Stalkyoo - Black and White Formal Romantic Subtext Analysis

The beginning of I Love Yoo up until the Black and White Formal shows the development of Shin-Ae and Yeong-gi's relationship from strangers to reluctant acquaintances and eventually to friends.

Their relationship's development up until the present comic, in my opinion, reaches a peak during the formal arc, where we see both the completed development of their friendship (neither are reluctant) but we also see the fast emergence of new possible romantic feelings. The arc is pivotal in defining and developing their relationship and we continue to see its effects afterwards. So, in order to better understand the two characters' relationship, let's take a look at the key moments in the arc that explore their friendship and romantic tension.

Ep. 49 | Makeup - A Friendly Face and Romantic Tension

Shin-Ae is forced to attend the black and white formal to take care of her father. She is in an incredibly difficult position, with college exams the next day, her father ill, and now having to deal with this incredibly unfamiliar situation and this horrible dress.

When she sees Yeong-gi however, it’s great to see a comforting and familiar presence. We get a chance to see their friendship in this uncomfortable setting when Yeong-gi shows concern for Shin-Ae.

That is not all, however. The makeup panel (which was removed by Quimchee later on, but is included in the mid-season recap), introduces us to the first instance of genuine romantic tension between the two in the arc (and the whole comic up until here, really).

The two are very close together and look at each other softly. Shin-Ae seems to be blushing, as well. This moment is intimate and romantically tense.

This first scene does a great job at introducing the two major dynamics in their relationship that are explored in this arc: their established friendship and new romantic tension. These dynamics lead up to what occurs on the hospital balcony.

Ep. 49-51 | Hands - Distance and Desires

When Yeong-gi gets up to get Shin-Ae food, she reaches for him and grabs onto his sleeve. This panel introduces Shin-Ae's desire to stick with Yeong-gi throughout the night. We understand how comforting she finds it to be near him.

She extends her hand — showing how she is now also "reaching" for him and his companionship.

In Ep. 50, when Yeong-gi is scolded by his father and leaves to wait outside for Alyssa, Shin-Ae notices he seems down from across the floor. And for the first time, she tries to reach him. Up until now, she has been wary of Yeong-gi and his intentions, but now we see that their relationship has truly progressed to real friends. Shin-ae genuinely cares for Yeong-gi. But before she can reach him, she is interrupted by Sang-chul.

In the next episode, we see Yeong-gi respond to her call, reflecting what Shin-Ae did in Ep. 49, and extending his hand back towards her. Both characters' reciprocal desire to connect with each other is shown through their hands.

This scene, where they reach for each other but don't connect, introduces the arc's recurrent motif/theme of DISTANCE. Shin-ae and Yeong-gi want to connect, as they care for each other and find comfort in one another, but because of the circumstances at the party they are torn apart repeatedly.

And despite (literally and figuratively) reaching for each other, neither their hands nor their good intentions (like Shin-ae’s desire to be there for Yeong-gi) actually do reach each other. This repeats a few times in the arc, causing significant tension; due to the obstacles of the events around them, they can’t reach each other despite how much they may want to. As such, readers also feel relief whenever the two characters do manage to get together.

Ep. 55 | The Dance - A Kousuke and Yeong-gi Parallel

Kousuke, while having good intentions, struggles to understand what Shin-Ae wants, and instead goes for what makes sense to him. Yeong-gi, on the other hand, consistently shows an understanding of what would truly help Shin-Ae.

It is certainly true that Kousuke’s method was pragmatic. If the problem is that Shin-Ae feels humiliated and that he is embarrassed by her, what better way to show that he isn’t than by dancing with her in front of everyone? It’s a well-meant gesture that would show that he cares more for her than what others think and regardless of what they think. However, although his intentions were sweet, the outcomes were less so.

Shin-Ae DOES NOT want to dance. A scene that may have been beautiful, is tainted by Shin-Ae's true feelings of discomfort.

The truth is, Shin-Ae doesn’t want to go back in front of them. She doesn’t want to prove something to them. She doesn’t want to dance. But she feels like she has to. She can’t say no. The dance is actually… sad to see. She doesn’t want to be there.

But as she dances and feels terrible, Yeong-gi shows up. She is immediately excited and put at ease but is also worried about him since she hasn't seen him since he left to go outside.

But then Yeong-gi acts a goof. He understands that Shin-Ae doesn’t want to be there, but she has to. Because he understands the feeling of putting on a performance, despite being miserable… he immediately recognizes Shin-Ae's going through that too. So being the lovely friend he is, Yeong-gi goofs around. What better way to make Shin-Ae feel less tense in this too formal environment by reminding her of a friendly presence and doing something hilariously inappropriate? And of course, he knows how to help alleviate some of her discomfort, because they’re friends, after all, right? Yeong-gi shows a deep level of empathy for Shin-Ae.

The scene also develops a contrast between Kousuke and Yeong-gi — and the differences in how they affect Shin-Ae — that is paralleled many times later in the series.

Yeong-gi is the one who gets Shin-Ae to smile. He's the one who turns this scene from something uncomfortable to wholesome. And yet, he's not the one dancing with her. He stays to the side, in the shadows of the crowd, with distance between him and Shin-Ae, and with his head down. It fits his overarching character arc — staying hidden and away, and unable to chase for what he wants because of a quiet sense of shame and low self-worth.

The significance of him not interrupting and staying off to the side is purposefully emphasized in Ep. 57, when Kousuke says:

"I'm surprised you didn't interrupt my dance with Ms. Yoo."

Yeong-gi doesn't respond and simply looks away and slightly frowns. This emphasizes that there is a reason Yeong-gi stays away, and it's likely because his low self-esteem issues cause him to think, "Who am I to interfere?"

Overall, this dance panel achieves a similar effect to the earlier scene when their hands reach for each other, adding to the tension caused by distance — it feels like Shin-Ae and Yeong-gi should be together, but because of the circumstances, they can’t. They are reaching for each other, emotionally, but just can’t close the gap.

Ep. 55 | “We’re (just) friends... right?” - More Romantic Build-up

Although Yeong-gi knew exactly how to cheer up Shin-Ae, what he didn’t expect was her laugh… or rather the way he feels when she does.

Look at Yeong-gi’s expression — his eyes are widened. He has a look of awe and he seems shocked. He felt something unexpected. Maybe his heart skipped a beat... Could it be possible…?

He also has a resigned smile after, choosing to look at their dance from afar.

After the dance, Yeong-gi asks Shin-Ae to confirm their friendship.

But the panel and his tense smile seems… eerie. Faked. Like Yeong-gi might not be asking this question for obvious reasons. Even Shin-Ae notes that he seems uneasy, with a confused look and a nervous sweat drop.

We’ve already seen their completely established friendship. But as soon the two explicitly acknowledge this out-loud, we seem to have something new to deal with. Why does Yeong-gi suddenly want confirmation of their friendship, and in a manner that seems quite… sad? Why does his smile seem faked? We can look just a few panels prior to have a better understanding of what’s occurring internally for Yeong-gi.

Yeong-gi's shocked expression and widened eyes are similar to other moments of romantic tension, namely the hospital balcony scene and the earphones scene (albeit in a more muted manner). This is the second moment in this arc after the makeup scene that adds to the romantic tension leading up to the hospital balcony scene.

I believe Yeong-gi seems sad when he asks, “We’re friends right?” because when Shin-Ae laughs, he subconsciously feels the pangs of possible budding romantic feelings (it isn’t quite there yet, it is slight, but he is feeling something new) and he immediately subconsciously tries to deny those feelings by having Shin-Ae assert their friendship.

He feels dissonance between two facts:

“Shin-Ae is my friend”

“I felt something when she laughed”

This dissonance is uncomfortable, so he seeks to deny what is implied by the second part (that he may feel more for her). Additionally, we understand Yeong-gi struggles with self-worth. With the added pressure of those around him, as well as Shin-ae who has consistently accused him of being too pushy and a player, it is no struggle to understand why he immediately tries to avoid this feeling at even the first slightest hint of it.

But by looking for an affirmation of friendship to refute what he felt when she laughed, he unwittingly makes a link between what he felt to something beyond friendship.

Ep. 57-8 | The Bar - Brief Respite and a Kousuke/Yeong-gi Parallel

Due to the aforementioned tension, moments like the bar where Yeong-gi and Shin-ae are able to interact and joke around (about boobs in this case) feel incredibly refreshing — everything else is uncomfortable, but being with each other is comforting.

Once the others join them, we also get another slight Kousuke and Yeong-gi parallel. When Alyssa mentions Yeong-gi could dance with Shin-Ae, Yeong-gi refuses, likely due to pressure from Kousuke to be faithful to Alyssa. (We don’t quite know what he would’ve said otherwise). Shin-Ae responds to him refusing the dance, thinking:

“It would’ve been awkward anyways like my dance with Kousuke.”

The phrase "it would've been [negative adjective] anyways" usually implies a sense of settling for an outcome and sometimes slight displeasure.

I will admit that is hard to firmly state she’s disappointed that he said no. But the phase most certainly implies that she would’ve gone along with it if he said yes. (If this is hard to understand, Shin-Ae doesn’t think something like, “Good. I didn’t want to dance anyways.”) Her thought is relatively indifferent, especially in contrast to Kousuke whom she explicitly didn’t want to dance with.

Ep. 61 | Yeong-gi Takes a Stand - Relationship-driven Growth

When Yeong-gi learns that Shin-Ae is in trouble, but is yelled at by his father for his behaviour and not being with Alyssa, he is absolutely terrified at first (poor boy).

Randulph: "What are you doing? Fooling around again? It hasn't even been that long since I last reprimanded you!"

*Yeong-gi flinches*

Randulph: "How many times am I going to have to scold you tonight??? How hard is that head of of yours that nothing I say gets through to you! And Alyssa isn't even with you!"

Yeong-gi: *meekly* "Well — my friend was —"

Randulph: "I'm not through talking!

*Yeong-gi flinches*

Randulph continues scolding him, then says, "Forget about your friends."

To which Yeong-gi replies, "No... Castigate me, humiliate me. Do that all you want after I've ensured her safety!"

Upon thinking about the possible danger Shin-Ae is in, we see him, for the first time, advocate for himself and stand up to his father. Yeong-gi's concern for Shin-Ae allows him to stand up to the man who terrifies him. Shin-Ae takes easy precedent over the politics of his family and it shows how far their relationship has come and how it drives Yeong-gi's growth.

Ep. 62-3 | Sang-chul — Anger on behalf of Shin-Ae & a Shin-Ae and Alyssa Comparison

When Yeong-gi sees Sang-chul with Shin-Ae's jacket, he confronts him.

Sang-chul: "Back off bro. I don't want to start any trouble here."

Yeong-gi: "Too late for it now, innit? You asked for trouble as soon as you tried to take advantage of Shin-Ae."

Yeong-gi gets personally angry on behalf of Shin-Ae. It's another example that emphasizes their friendship.

We also see a contrast developed between Shin-Ae and Alyssa by Sang-chul:

"What is this Shin-Ae person to you anyway? You didn't react this way when I mentioned kissing your girlfriend... Where is she anyway? I still need my selfie and my kiss since you're fine with it."

Sang-chul assumes Yeong-gi must be romantically and sexually involved with Shin-Ae partly because he's a disgusting, sexist dirtbag, but also because, frankly, Yeong-gi seems to just generally like Shin-Ae more than his actual girlfriend.

I also want to draw attention to the fact that Sang-chul has mentioned kissing Alyssa three times: once before when they first met, and twice now. All three times, Yeong-gi didn't react.

In Ep. 63, Yeong-gi begins to move away from Sang-chul to get to Shin-Ae.

Sang-chul: "Heh. That's right. Wuss. Go run to your b*tch."

*Yeong-gi stops*

Sang-chul: "I'll go keep Alyssa company while you're at it! I still haven't gotten my kiss! Should be easy. She must be dumb as hell if she's dating you."

*Yeong-gi turns around, glares at him, kisses him, then punches him* "There's your damn kiss, you gobshite!"

Yeong-gi: "Don't you dare call Shin-Ae a b*tch ever again. And stay away from Alyssa."

Why is it, that now, he suddenly becomes agitated after already ignoring three taunts by Sang-chul to kiss Alyssa? Especially when he was in the middle of getting to Shin-Ae? I'm going to argue that Yeong-gi actually decides to punch him as soon as he first stops after Sang-chul insults Shin-Ae. Additionally, after the punch, Yeong-gi's first demand is to never insult Shin-Ae again, placing emphasis on this. It is also said more forcefully then the second: "Don't you dare... ever again" vs "And stay away". Alyssa is added almost like an afterthought.

There is a purposeful comparison here between the way Yeong-gi treats the disrespect towards the two women. Yeong-gi immediately gets angry enough to get violent when Sang-chul insults Shin-Ae, but barely responds at first when he calls Alyssa dumb and threatens to kiss her. He cares more for Shin-Ae than he does for his romantic partner, Alyssa.

Naturally, since the comparison is between his girlfriend and Shin-Ae, it also paints his feelings for Shin-Ae in a romantic light.

Ep. 63 | Yeong-gi Saves Shin-Ae

When Shin-Ae falls in the pool, it is Yeong-gi who saves her. Kousuke does not. This is another narrative parallel meant to contrast the two's relation to Shin-Ae. They both fall into the pool (parallel) but Yeong-gi, not Kousuke, saves Shin-Ae (contrast).

The episode also focuses almost solely on Yeong-gi's response to Shin-Ae's injury. He is absolutely terrified and feels terrible guilt, thinking he did this to her. But he is the one who saved her. He is the one shown to panic, yell for her, and scream for help. (We can also get into the authorial choice to focus on Yeong-gi's reaction and not Kousuke's... At the very least, it emphasizes that this moment is especially significant for Shin-Ae and Yeong-gi.)

Conclusions

The black and white formal arc serves as a climax for development between Shin-Ae and Yeong-gi — we see how in the face of adversity, the two value each other deeply as friends, and are given romantically tense moments.

There are also multiple narrative parallels, where Kousuke and Yeong-gi are put in similar situations, but the way they impact Shin-Ae are contrasted. Despite having multiple moments with Kousuke, Yeong-gi is who impacts her positively and who she wants to spend time with. This is continued in the hospital finale, when despite literally “reaching” Kousuke (he is with her and holds her hands), it is only after chasing Yeong-gi and being with him that she finds cathartic emotional support and finally cries. (Although these parallels jab at YooTip, I want to focus more on how it emphasizes that Shin-Ae and Yeong-gi's bond is beyond that she has with another person she has known for the same amount of time. It shows the difference between the more basic-level bond she has with Kousuke, vs. her bond with Yeong-gi that is surprisingly strong for people who have only known each other for a few weeks.)

Overall, this arc builds a base for when Yeong-gi first feels true romantic feelings for Shin-Ae: when she holds onto him and cries on the hospital balcony (you can see that analysis here). In this scene at the end of this arc, the two who so desperately tried to connect during the gala, finally do (although their hands still do not touch).

166 notes · View notes

tooweirdforyou · 4 years ago

Text

Maybe » Aomine Daiki

Aomine Daiki x Chubby! Fem! Reader

A/N : hi! My second non one piece fic so yay, I’m happy it’s for KnB and Aomine! Please enjoy! :3

note : I had soooo many ideas for thisssss but instead of my original idea, I went for something a little more Cliché ;-;

Summary : after being friends with Aomine for so long and developing feelings, you keep shut about them and protect your friendship. And then, Aomine finds out about what’s been happening.

“Daiki, would you get up already?”

No response came from dark blue haired athlete other than the gentle snores that escaped his lips.

You roll your eyes and went to pick up the women’s magazine that was opened across his face, just as the tan one sighs heavily and grunts out.

“Oi.. [Name]? Where’s Satsuki?” He groans, turning onto his side and pulls off the magazine from his face.

He takes a look to see the page he was looking at to be one of those thicker, curvy models.

You sigh and walk around to face him, kneeling in front of him once again, your thick thighs exposing itself from your skirt.

“She’s managing the boys at practice. She asked me to come get you.”

Aomine grunts out in annoyance at your words and looks up to see your face, staring down at him. He moved onto his back and continues looking at you.

“...”

His silence makes you smile a bit in defeat and exhale. “Come on, sleeping beauty, you need to get to practice. Otherwise, Satsuki will have my ass.”

“I’m too tired.” Aomine mutters, turning back onto his side, turning so he faced you this time and stares up at you lazily.

Examining your features in silence, Aomine took in your appearance at the moment.

There wasn’t a readable expression on his face so you couldn’t guess what he was thinking. His staring did cause your cheeks to pinken as his eyes shifted down.

He eyes your legs for a moment, the staring hard enough to make you shift to ignore it, as you poked him.

“Come on, just get up, please?” You plead making Aomine pout and close his eyes to avoid your expression. “I don’t care, I don’t wanna..” he sulks quietly.

You heave a heavy sigh and pat your skirt down and hum, leaning close to his face, his eyes still shut.

“I’ll buy you the latest issue of the swimsuit catalog for you~” you sang, in hopes of convincing him to get you.

The blue haired athlete opens an eye to come face to face with you, inches away, and seeing how close you were to him causes him to swallow and turn away, covering his eyes with his arms.

Fortunately, it seems it worked.

“...hmph, idiot.. I want the latest issue of the swimsuit catalog, the lingerie catalog, and I want bread..” He announces, pulling up his hand and bringing down a finger for each one he counted.

You roll your eyes playfully at him, and you held your pinky out for him. “Stupid pervert, it’s a deal.”

Aomine merely grins and moves his arm to face you again, connecting his pinky with yours and you both kissed your thumbs. Something you two did together since you were kids.

“I’ll be waiting.” Aomine grunts as he forces himself up and dusts his clothes, holding his hand out for you to take. “You better remember.”

You lift your hand to take his and helped yourself up, dusting your skirt. “Don’t worry, I won’t. I don’t think I could forget my best friend’s perverted desires.”

“You think too low of me.” Aomine furrows his brows as he began headed to the ladder.

“Do I?”

“Idiot.”

Shrugging, you head down after him, being sure to threaten him if he even dared look up at you as you climbed down, and headed to the gymnasium together.

—

Gently setting down your things on the ground by the door, jacket and cellphone, you went over to greet the coach and players.

“[Name]! Daiki!”

The pink haired manager runs over excitedly, practically bouncing with joy and stars in her eyes at the sight of them.

“You managed to convince him! Thanks so much!”

“Tch, you can’t even get me yourself, making [Name] do all the work.” Aomine scoffs and Satsuki pouts. “I’m busy doing my job and managing the others boys! Besides, only [Name] knows best how to get you to come.”

The pinkette widens her eyes and turns to you. “How did you manage to get him anyways?”

You gave a side glance to Aomine, who was too busy yawning and looking away to notice and you simply shrug. “He knows better.”

Satsuki just giggles a bit and grabs your hands, her clipboard tucked under her arm. “Thanks so much again, [Name]. I owe you one.”

“No problem, Satsuki.” You smile softly at her and watch her pull away to begin pushing Aomine to change.

“Alright, alright, stop pushing me.” Aomine grumbles as he walks forward, stumbling every few steps. He then turns back to give a smirk to you. “Keep your promise, you!”

“Of course I will!” You scoff, waving at him and smiling nonetheless, and began to head out after bidding goodbye to the other players and the coach.

Passing the viewers from up top, you hear particular comments.

“What promise could that fat girl make with Aomine?”

“Can’t be to spread her legs for him.. no guy would want a big girl like that.”

“Obviously. How does Aomine even know a piggy like her anyways?”

Their hushed voices and obvious stares only make you smile forcefully and walk out silently, ignoring their comments.

It wasn’t like it was the first time you heard something like that.

As soon as you open your locker, you find a couple notes slipping out from being held in place. You glance down before crouching and picked each one up, reading them as you did so.

‘Get some exercise, piggy!’

‘Lay off the foods for a while already.’

‘How can you stand to be so big? How does anything fit you?’

The bitter smile that formed from the sight made your heart heavy but you didn’t say a word.

It was a regular occurrence anyways.

It didn’t make you feel any better, considering your walk over to your locker, other students in the halls were pointing and staring over at you, as if you were a display.

As if it was strange to see someone like you there, someone big, where everyone else was thin.

You rip them up in two and set the pieces aside in your locker, grabbing your bag. About to shut your locker, you find the printed sheets Satsuki asked you to do and sigh.

“Better now before I forget..” you mumble to yourself, taking the ripped pieces and the printed sheets into your separate hands and closed your locker.

Slinging the strap of the bag over your shoulder, you begin heading back to the gymnasium so you could finally get home afterwards.

The gossiping whispers didn’t stop. Didn’t they have somewhere to be instead of loitering the halls?

Choosing to distract yourself, you thought about Aomine. The tall, tan, dark blue-haired athlete. It still made you surprised at your friendship but it was one of the best things that happened to you.

It was genuine, Satsuki and Aomine truly appreciated you and you appreciated them, there wasn’t anything you wouldn’t do for them.

The only you could regret was your developing feelings for the athlete. An athlete dating a chubby girl? Even you could laugh thinking about it.

However, you figured Satsuki had the same, so you could only suppress them.

Plus, you didn’t want to ruin Aomine’s image.

It seems you distracted yourself too much, because as soon as you turned the corner, you bumped into someone, causing the two of you to stumble back, the both of you falling.

“O-Oh, I’m so so-“ despite you also falling, you look to the opposite person to apologize, but you were cut off by her scream.

“Oh my gosh! She touched me! Oh my gosh, get away from me, fat girl! You could’ve crushed me!”

The other girl, seemingly her friend, quickly helped her up and both glared hard down at me.

“W-What? I-“

“Are you seriously talking to me? Oh my gosh, Sera, let’s go to the locker rooms so I can wash this filth off me.” The other girl nods as they begin to walk off, but a third voice cuts in.

“Let me help you with that.”

Before any of you could react, the rude girl was suddenly soaked with water, emitting a surprised shriek from her once again.

“What the fuck?! What the fuck are you-!” The three of you turned to see a particular tanned male and your eyes widen.

“Daiki?!”

“Aomine!”

His ignorance towards you made you furrow your eyebrows, his attention kept on the two girls.

“There, all cleaned, now get the hell out of here.”

It was clear the girls were stunned at Aomine’s attitude and overall appearance, but even worse, was his piercing, sharp glare sent to them that sent shivers down their spine, and even you could feel a bit of goosebumps.

“Aomine.. we were just—“

“I don’t really care. Get lost already, it’s a bother to hear your voice.” His glare immediately disappears and he rolls his eyes, turning away with disinterest.

The girls gaped at that and quickly scurried off, you barely noticing her tears from her wet skin.

Once the girls were gone for good, Aomine immediately turns to you, making you startled. His gaze down at you makes you a bit uncomfortable but you continued to stare at him.

“Daiki.. what are you doing-?..”

His stride towards you makes you stop your words and watch him grab your wrist and help you up to your feet.

And then suddenly, he pins you to the wall, hand still gripping your wrist and other placing itself beside your head.

His lazy, unreadable expression is plastered as he leans close. His eyes flick back and forth between yours, as if it’s searching for something.

His peripherals then catch sight of the ripped papers and he snatches them away, pulling away to read the writing.

“H-Hey! Daiki!”

The athlete doesn’t say anything and you can’t reach for it back because he’s so tall.

Aomine silently connects the papers together and reads the full text, and you can’t see his expression since he turns away, but you find his hands clenched tightly into fists, muscles tensed and veins forming as he crushed the papers.

It scares you a little bit to see, so you try to calm him down, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s fine, okay? It doesn’t bother me anymore, so just-“

“Anymore?.. so it has before?” Aomine scoffs. You flinch and sigh. “Maybe, but look, I don’t care about it so let’s drop it, okay?”

Aomine clicks his tongue and turns around to look at you, an irritated yet pained expression taking over. You could actually read it.

“You know... you really are an idiot.”

You pout at that and frown. “The nickname really is unnecessary. You’ve been calling me that since I tripped over my own to feet and spilled my ice cream on myself when we were like, twelve.”

“Because you really were an idiot then! You tripped over nothing.”

“I tripped over some rocks, you jerk!” You scowl, shoving him which caused a small smile to form despite his pained expression seconds prior. His heart still ached knowing you were being bullied like this.

Aomine just shrugs and walks off, making you surprised. “W-Wait, why’d you even come here anyways? You should be at practice.” You began jogging after him.

He stops suddenly, lifting something off his shoulder. It was your jacket and your phone was in his hand, having taken it out from his pocket just now.

“You left it in the gym earlier. I didn’t want you to freak out and forget, and then not text me when you got home safe.”

Your eyes widen at you recall placing it down by the door. “Oh..” you must’ve forgotten when you were ignoring those girls from before. “Thanks..”

You reach up to take it from his hands and think back on his words, tightening your grip on your belongings. Aomine gives a long glance to you before taking your hand.

He holds it up and pressed his palm against yours quietly, you watching silently as he slowly intertwined your fingers and wraps his arm around your body. The action was enough to cause your cheeks to warm but you didn’t protest.

Pulling you close, he tightens his embrace, afraid to let go. “Hey, I..” he pauses for a moment, leaning down more so he was by your ear.

He thought for a few seconds before deciding to change his mind. Aomine shuts his eyes and relaxed himself.

“Nevermind.. just get home safe.. and promise to tell me if something like this happens again. Okay?”

His voice is a whisper, and you can’t see his face but you can hear his weak tone.

“I will.. I promise.”

You slowly pull away and held out your pinky again, smiling softly when he connects his with yours and kissed his thumb.

You thought about confessing to him. Now is the perfect time, isn’t it?.. but, the small fraction of you that’s scared, overpowers your confidence and you just smile at your friend.

“I’ll text you when I get home. Thanks again, and give this to Satsuki when you get back.” Handing the printed sheets to him, you take a step back and wave, slowly turning.

“See you tomorrow, Daiki.”

“..Yeah.. See you.”

You both turn away from each other in the hall, both wearing a somewhat pained expression for similar reasons and shared the same thoughts.

‘Maybe one day... one day I’ll confess to him/her..’

—

A/N : this is all over the place and not really meshing well together but look, I’m tired. I literally got the vaccine recently and I’m so freaking sore.

Also, is it normal to have chills? The next day, I was FREEZING all day.

#tooweirdforyou #knb x reader #knb aomine #kuroko no basket #kuroko no basket x reader #kuroko’s basketball #aomine daiki #aomine daiki x reader #x reader #knb writing #kuroko no basket writing #aomine x reader

306 notes · View notes