#instagram makes no sense to me and it also feels like im wasting my time on it

[alchemiclee]

I still don't understand how instagram works fhdnhdnse I was told by multiple people that it's easy and useful and and good I should post my art and stuff there but I never figured out how it works and it's been useless to me lmao I ALSO CANT STAND HOW IT CROPS PHOTOS (my number one complaint)

[maxybabyy]

i’m thinking about your max run club au again 😵‍💫 does daniel realize… the effect… max’s voice has on him? when do daniel and max meet in real life (if ever)?

😫 😫 i am always thinking about max run club ... but im sooo glad you're there with me! 🏃

in my mind they don't meet until after he and scotty break up. Daniel in a moderate sized LA apartment trying to figure out what to do with a bum knee and no race seat, when he goes to one of martijn's shows, and look who is there also :)

below the cut is the third part 😏 (part i, ii)

The first time he sees him, Daniel almost doesn’t notice.

He’s face-down on the sofa with his phone held loosely in his hand. He should probably be in bed, has an appointment with his physio in the morning, lunch with Blake after that. But Scotty’s in Canada for training camp, has been for the past two weeks, and Daniel hasn’t been sleeping well.

He had offered to come with him, with Scott. Made a joke about getting on the slopes too, “My knee’s been better, yeah? Reckon I could probably take you down for a run or two.” His knee still isn’t great but like, he could probably hang out in the hot tub, work on maybe, like a nice tan.

But Scotty had laughed, told him not to waste his time, “You don’t even like the snow, Ric. I’ll see you in a month, yeah?”

Daniel thinks maybe he’s allowed to feel like this, lonely and sad, scrolling through Instagram.

It’s worse then, when he sees the picture of Scotty. He’s shirtless and smiling, how Daniel likes him the best. There’s a sunburn on his nose, red and angry, and Daniel knows it must be painful. Can imagine almost how he must be complaining about it, refusing to put on aloe because he doesn’t like the sticky after-feel.  

It gets him a little hot, his hips pressing against the sofa almost unconsciously. He could probably like, get himself off. Come into his own hand and send him a picture, saying some shit like, thought of u ;).

But also, like. Daniel hasn’t heard from him in a few days, thinks maybe he’s not going to be the one to reach out this time.

He’s deep in his twitter feed, focus only half on the screen when he hears the voice.

He rewinds it and presses the phone to his ear, the volume turned loud as he listens, and there it is. Just a handful of lines in that sharp accent that Daniel recognises immediately with an odd sense of excitement.

He loops it over to hear it again, and Daniel feels it. The sudden burst of energy, conditioned almost by sound alone. He wants to put on his shoes and run, Max’s voice hoarse in his ears coaxing him to be faster, to be better. To make it good, make it last. And Daniel would, for him. For Max.

He grinds his dick into the sofa, reckons it would be half-hard if he reached down to touch it.

Daniel doesn’t do it, obviously. It would be too much, he knows. Getting hot and bothered by the sound of a voice, or like, not even that. Because it’s GP’s voice he can hear now, deep and British, and decidedly not Max’s. But even like this, Daniel feels out of control.

He loops it again before he even thinks about it.

Daniel doesn’t realise until he’s on his third listen that GP is talking about Max, “- and he can be himself with me, which I think is really important when you work together the way that Max and I do.”

There’s a shuffle in the background, and Daniel almost misses it, rewinds the video just a few seconds to watch as a guy pops in from the side to hug GP.

Daniel doesn’t have to think about it, knows already that it’s Max on the screen.

He can only see his backside but he’s already so fucking hot. The wide line of his shoulders, trim waist obvious from the cropped running top he’s wearing. His shorts are almost indecent too, sit barely below his ass to show off strong thighs.

Looking at him like this, Daniel cannot fucking breathe.           

Belatedly he noticed the link on the screen, a tag to their socials. It takes him to a YouTube page, Red Bull Running, and Daniel almost doesn’t – feels as the sour taste builds in his mouth.

It’s, like, objectively okay what he’s doing. He’s just a fan, that’s it. And like, Red Bull has probably hundreds of athletes, it’s barely even a connection.

Daniel doesn’t find it until he’s almost given up, hidden away at the bottom of the screen on a playlist called Max V. His cheeks feel flushed, his eyes heavy with maybe not sleep but something else, the illicit feeling making his fingers tingle.

He scrolls through it with his knee pulled to his chest, flicks through videos of Max on the treadmill, going over data with GP, crossing the line at the London marathon. He’s just as pretty as Daniel thought, wide smile and kind eyes as he laughs at his own silly joke.

He’s almost at the bottom, an absent yawn escaping his lips when he finds it. Yoga for Runners.

Foolishly, he clicks it, watches with a dry mouth as Max introduces himself. He sits squarely on the mat in a sunlit room. He isn’t wearing a shirt, back so straight it makes his pectorals look obscene. There’s a low-fi beat in the background, not too loud to drown out Max’s soft instructions guiding the viewer through a series of poses.

Daniel’s thumb hovers over the home button, ready to close out, to go to bed. And then Max bends over, ass to the camera in his tiny running shorts. It goes on forever. Max speaking softly, demonstrating with his hands the muscles he stretches, how to increase the pressure, where the strain should not be.

Max counts himself down, “You got, it. Four. Breathe deep for me, please,” lowers his knees and folds his chest almost to the floor, keeps his hips up high. “Here, you will feel the release of your rib cage. Obviously, like this it will give you a great stretch in the back also. Yes, just like this. You are of course doing so good.”  

Daniel bites into the meat of his palm, pants into his own sweaty hand. He balances his phone against a pillow and slides his hand down to his dick.

He digs out the bottle of lube that hasn’t been used in months, pours it into his hand, onto his dick. Pretends the slick sound of his hand is something else. It’s easy to do like this, Max’s voice steady in his ear, body moving with impressive control on screen.

“Sink in a little deeper for me, we are so close,” Max says, voice soft, hoarse. “Breathe into the sensation. It should of course feel good when we do this.”

Daniel should feel embarrassed, maybe, but he comes just as Max is winding down, spread out on his back, breathing heavy. “Max,” he sobs, breathless.

The video ends, replaced by a moment of silence. And then in an all too familiar voice, “Hello, everyone,” that makes Daniel’s stomach drop.

[zhuhongs]

hhhhh so im on a ridiculously long ride home and just my phone so tumblr diary entry time lol. if you have my instagram this will make more sense but yk. anyways. so yesterday was the last day of the semester and i was tbh pretty normal abt it. but leading up to it i was a mess and tbh i think my stomach issues actually came more from the stress of knowing im leaving but the alcohol seemed plausible enough an explanation so i ran with it. but nah i was just. hhhh overwhelmed. bc anytime i was out with ppl it disappeared and as soon i was alone and not busy i was like. oh theres the stomach pain. LOL. but yea. so i decided my going away present to everyone would be a drawing of them plus a message bc like. i always said i liked art but never rlly showed my classmates my art so i was like. welp lets go out with a bang. and it felt good bc i really wanted to do smth like this sooner. my initial plan to make a good impression was to print stickers of my art and put my IG on it and get close to ppl that way. but i was just far too stressed and thought itd be weird. so i just. Didnt. and i regret not putting in enough effort at the beginning. but i also feel like its okay, especially given my upbringing. i needed that time to myself to figure it out, and now i really know that i can just. talk to ppl. and not be afraid. bc the ppl i got closest to were the one i swore would judge me most bc of my own preconceived notions, but i told the the parts of me i hid the most and they accepted it. and could at least sympathize and actually relate and i just. why was i so silly. why was i so mean to myself to be convinced that i was so unacceptable that no one except for those who already knew me could accept me and enjoy my presence? i was so silly. i wont do that again, but if i do, it will still be easier than doing it this time bc I'll recognize the patterns and quickly snap out of it.

in a way, i really do feel like i needed all this time alone to process myself and rlly look myself in the eye and recognize the ways ive lived that i can just stop doing now that i have the freedom to be free of my past. and part of me feels like I'm saying that as copium bc i didnt connect sooner and i possibly could have also had a better time with others and still have come to realize the same things and more through the help and company of others. but i also know that i cant live life always thinking so much. so i just need to live and let the regrets be what they are, and move forwards. but the regrets do indeed linger. like i made the decision not to stay in taiwan. bc of well A. money and B. i felt like if i had more time I'd just fucking waste it like i wasted the first 4 months. i might as well force myself into a corner and see if that would make me do things i was too scared to do otherwise. and like, it worked! i did say fuck it and rlly just let loose bc i was gonna leave but now its worked too well. and like i wish soooo bad that i had those 3 months to fully enjoy every chance working out. Part of me says that its best to leave with that hope. rather than have taken that chance and it fizzled out. the thing keeping me from extending the most was honestly knowing I'd have my birthday there. and i could not take the possibility of spending my birthday alone... i legit couldnt stomach it. in the past i used to spend every bday alone but in recent years ive had a mazing friends that actually made my bday special and i just. I'm so used to having that day be nice that i really couldnt take the possibility of it being awkward. but now i realize that it wouldn't have been like that. it couldve been wonderful. but thats okay, in another life. or maybe a few years. who knows. im considering doing smth like this again in like 2 years after I've worked a bit. i have nothing but time. but man. sometimes i just wonder yk.

and last night i had a rlly good one on one talk with my classmate and that was amazing, but i got home and checked IG like a dumbass and say another group of classmates partying til 3am and i was like.... man i should've done that. but like, logically no. i had a great night regardless and i partied with those classmates last week. ive had my fill, and i had things to do today that i needed to be coherent for. but i couldn't help but thinking what if. and i know its not so easy to kill that voice inside my head. its always gonna be there. its not just me, thats the devil of SNS like instagram. bc you see the best parts of everyone's lives at all times and feel like you're missing out but you're not. you only see a sliver of what it really was..but yea. its okay. I'm still so very young. and i just need to treasure now and take whatever chances i get to nourish the connections i have right now and put yourself out there to make new ones when the chances arise. its okay, there is not life that can be lived without saying goodbye. but damn, yesterday at the school gates two of my classmates hit me with the さよなら and that. man i felt it in that moment. theres so much i wish i couldve said in all that time we had to spend together but i just held my tongue bc i was scared. but this was really playing social interaction on hard mode, like the cultural differences, the language barrier, the introversion, the fact it was my first time on my own fr, just, there were soooo many factors working against me specifically. and fuck man, i still did it. and i am still so young, i really can do whatever i want. it feels so weird. ive only been here 6 months but in a way it feels like this is how its always been. like the fact that im going home feels so strange. like i havent been there in years, i honestly cant fully grasp that im gonna be in a place where i speak the language fluently and am fully aware and familiar with my surroundings. like, why does that feel so odd. it does, i legit dont even know how to feel besides strange. i just have a strange pit in my stomach. but its okay. it will pass as everything does. but these days will always live on inside me as everything does. even if i can't fully recall it. so i just have to keep going as always. god. life is trippy man. but yea. Yea. thats it. i think

[solosol]

i crave rest and stillness quiet a lot, but then i quickly grow bored and feel stale. i need some stimulation but not too much because i will be overwhelmed and retreat into solitude again. 

i am starting to fall back in love with life, but this awareness of my ‘inability’ to live life is a kicker sometimes. im fighting the feeling of being a bum or lazy. even though laziness is kind of a myth, more so that i constantly feel like theres more to be done, and anytime i spend indoors alone, doing nothing but watching netflix or scrolling, or sleeping off anxiety, i feel like i am wasting my life, wasting my time.

im trying to steer clear of social media, mainly instagram, it makes me feel so irrelevant, and thats definitely a personal insecurity, but instagram is where things seems to be happening, for work as well it seems the place to showcase my creative endeavors. i hope that this new year brings fresh energy and new and fun things. not to distract me from that seemingly insatiable hunger i have, but to remove it completely.

i need to be occupied. and sometimes i think does that mean that  i need to sit in silence with myself more? perhaps. but i also feel like ive momentarily forgotten how to enjoy a day. ive never known what i am supposed to be doing. and tasks like being in uni actually give me more dread than a sense of purpose. 

perhaps thats it, im just navigating rediscovering a sense of purpose. it happens every few months. usually because i crash, soemtimes because i stop and revaluate my situation and my goals. but more often than not its the former.

maybe this is just what it means to be human, or one of the things. struggle of some kind seems to be integral to existance. i am excited for the future dont get me wrong. im excited for freedom and the sun. 

im trying to get to the root of this that im feeling. i truly think its working through endings and starting new beginnings. i am yet to get into some sort of groove. but its on its way and probably coming faster than i want to believe. i just need to keep trusting. thats all i really have. hope, trust and myself. 

[tracking-these-wolves]

Blog #7

another day another blog!

lol, its so late rn. at least for me. its nearly midnight!

today was really good. i woke up at my usual time and crocheted and did a deep stretch before going to chemistry. Chemistry was pretty good --- i actually kinda knew what was going on! after chem, i went to the library and attended NR 1010. Kaede (my BFF) is going to start joining me she says :)))) im really excited about it. Also, Tristen shotgunned a yerba mate. it was really funny.

I researched possible winter camping places for a bit -- im looking at eastern canada and maine. Somewhere far enough away that it's different. I really hope Adam is able to join me on this little adventure! if not, I may be going alone... Which would be fun, but not nearly as fun as going with someone.

NR 1050 was meh, like always. I went to the library to study with my chem lab partners... we didn't get much done lol. We played some kahoots (including one about elephants) and did the post lab problems, and that was about it. never a waste of time though. Then, I had NR 1999, and that was actually pretty fun. There's a really cute boy in both NR 1050 and NR 1999. His name's Gabe, but I know he's not interested. I asked him out a while back and he claimed he was "too busy"... It's okay, I don't have time for boys who can't communicate.

I hung out with Nolan today! Omg, the weirdest thing happened... We were going to watch Over the Garden Wall, so I had to run back to my dorm to grab some stuff, and while I was there, I thought to myself that I might as well bring my tarot deck. I don't know why, but I grabbed the cards and headed off. When I got to Nolan's, we first went to some birches, then decided to move to the LL courtyard. After we set up our hammock, I mentioned to Nolan that I brought my cards. This dude overheard me (he was smoking weed lmao) and asked me if I could do a reading... I agreed, so I set up my cards, did a little ritual with him to clear the energy, and then gave him a reading. I don't know what he was thinking about or what he asked, but I feel like the reading went really well. The past, present, and future cards made a lot of sense, and he seemed to agree.. Although he was high out of his mind lmao. It gets a little weird though. His name's Nadey? I think that's how you spell it, and he had literally just followed me on instagram the other day through a mutual friend. He was a little strange tho... He called my name beautiful and hugged me three times... Apparently, he's also said the r slur, which I don't jive with. Anyways. It was really strange. I hope I helped a little.

Over the Garden Wall was SO perfect!!! new favorite show!!! it was so whimsical and fun, and one of those shows were it's as deep as you make it. The art style was so cute, the humor was crafty and witty (yet immature which i lvoed), and the story was sentimental with a good ending. Truly a 10/10 experience. My favorite part was when Jimmy was revealed to have been in the gorilla suit for three days. Then, me and Nolan talked for a while -- we talked about highschool, and one of Nolan's friends, and I told him more about my ex (luca). We actually listened to some of Luca's music together... It was really bad. I really didn't like it. Also, 6 songs about a girl you dated for a month is actually insane. Anyways. It was a really good time. I love Nolan so much!

I didn't see Inka today :( A mother's regrets </3

Goodnight <3

[peedamoomee]

i saw your ex today at a cafe and weirdly it triggered me. she’s really pretty and slim! you were on my mind a lot today for a few reasons. being added to that gc for the hangout was interesting because as soon as i saw you were in it i knew i wasn’t planning to go to whichever function was being held. i just can’t and don’t want to be around you. also because there is free mixing and alcohol there and hardly any of my real friends were gonna be there. so i figured i wouldn’t go. when i woke up at 4am for fajr this morning I went on instagram and you were the first face i saw… seems like the banff trip already  happened. i totally thought that would be later in the summer but oh well! it’s crazy to see how you’ve become to close with people who i introduced you to although now we don’t even speak to each other. you’re probably hanging out with them rn and having fun. which is good for you. i’m glad. it’s great that since we broke up you have been able to make friends with these people. you’ll probably end up being closer with them than i ever was. i joked once that you will now replace me in all of their functions and although you said u couldn’t i think it’s for the best. i won’t be free mixing anymore. i’ll only see the girls when it’s just them hanging out, but i don’t wish to be around any of the boys especially because you will also be there around them. and that’s not something i want to deal with and a situation i want to put myself in.

then when i fell back asleep i had a dream you and i were with your mom and she was telling me how rude i was and that she didn’t like me and how i never ate with your family or greeted them or tried to become close with them and it upset me so much in the dream. i felt so bad. i feel like i was such a bad girlfriend in your family’s eyes. i probably wasn’t what they pictured their son to be dating and for a girl with a hijab to be with him was even more odd. i always felt uncomfortable around them because i felt like they were weird around me. i’m so embarrassed that i stuck around for as long as i did. i don’t really think i was wanted that much! it’s so embarrassing. anyway. your ex is such a pretty girl really. i was surprised. anyway. i don’t think you and i ever fit each other at all. we were too different in too many ways. i don’t really listen to bossa nova or frank ocean that often. she probably did. i think she must have been more similar to you. what did you and i even have in common?? what benefit did i even bring to your life? she honestly should’ve been the one who dated you, because you guys would’ve been able to have a more real relationship that was genuine and would’ve made sense in peoples eyes. i think your parents would’ve liked her a lot and so would your family and it would make more sense. to be honest, i don’t think i ever fit into your life. and although i like who i am, sometimes i wish i could change who i was to be with you. but i don’t think it was ever meant to be me. i think ill be a stain on your dating history because we were never meant to be together. i’m so embarrassed that i tried to make it work for so long and im so sad and regretful that i hurt you how i did. i wish i could’ve given you a better longer relationship instead of wasting your time. you deserve to be with a beautiful girl who just fits you. i never did. i couldn’t even if i tried. you were never even mine LOL.

[saturfied]

Oh man, i actually have so much shit to talk about this.

I've known about this issue for months, not in detail, but overall, I came across their stupid ass "allegations" on jeffs makeup artists' posts??? that were not even about him???

Seriously, tf, no sense of limits or boundaries at all, uhuh obviously with their stupidity *cue eyerolls* but yeah, I found it, no, i still find it, very very stupid.

I admit even i did a light stalking, purely out of curiosity oop- they might've been together before, who knows, but they were friends and still are, there would be no other reason with Jeffs "no bullshit will breathe around me" attitude, that he would have someone around him who he hates.

Plus he has also spoken about her before, found a Twitter post with translation from his birthday of him talking about Stu's staff, and how he greatly appreciates all of them. (Really they might be understaffed but they're absolutely doing a great job, hopefully they sue those stupid people too-)

Plus, whatever it doesn't matter if they are together or not, they both seem good friends who mutually appreciate each other.

As for Jeff saying he's not with anyone, and even if he was, it doesn't, shouldn't make any difference, his life is his life. I wouldn't even care if he "lied" as he has permission to have a private relationship because it's his life. He is not obligated to share any of his personal life details with us.

But he absolutely does sometimes with his cats or his family, and we should be grateful about that much. That's it.

Jeff dating or not, should not be any of our concerns, as long as he's happy, which we know with the kind of person he is, would only prefer to be surrounded by people who uplift him and are unconditionally there for him, as he is for his loved ones.

Basically, it's not Satss but his haters who are spewing nonsense bullshit because they feel they have full control on their "idols" life. No Sats or even simply a fan would do this, as they know that, in fact, Jeff is simply a human just like us and he is allowed to live his life the way he wants. That's it.

(ps. The irony that I came here directly from instagram after reporting their posts again, at least the accounts im aware of, prolly for the third or fourth time, hah. I don't interact and reply to them, I absolutely do not wish to waste my energy on them. But know that I will keep reporting all that nonsense.)

There I said it. Thank you for this post. I've been wanting too as I've never seen it on tumblr before, but I wasn't sure If I should bring it up. Now that you did i get to put my thoughts on here, do really tysm.

For anyone out of the loop, recently a “fan” took photos of Jeff holding hands in public with a woman, Vivi, who is allegedly his girlfriend. Some claim she is his ex, some claim that they’ve been dating five years. Jeff has not said anything but (allegedly) Studio on Saturn DM’d the person who posted the photos, asking them to take the photos down. The OP said they would not take down the photos. Depending on which fan you believe, they’ve been together 5 years, 7 years, 10 years, or have been broken up for ages.

In a tweet that has got a lot of traction, someone claimed that Jeff and Vivi have been together for 5 years, and that they started dating when she was 15 and he was 24.

Presumably, they got this info by skimming her public instagram and finding this post from Jan 29, 2024, saying she was celebrating her 20th birthday.

I don’t care if Jeff has a girlfriend but I was a little concerned if the age gap was accurate. So I did some light stalking (scrolling further down in her insta feed) and found a photo of her as a child in 1992

And several photos of her working as a flight attendant from about 2018-2020 (could be from earlier than that but I felt I had enough info and stopped searching).

So imo it’s far more likely she just celebrated her 30th birthday and put down 20 as a joke/poking fun at her age.

TLDR; Jeff is allegedly dating a very beautiful woman. Bitter or misinformed fans are claiming that she was underage at the start of their relationship, but this is provably false. People are attacking Jeff for daring to date someone who isn’t Barcode, invading the privacy of Jeff and Vivi, and spreading unsavory rumors about them.

[kireimarkeu]

retrouvailles; l.mk

THIS IS A REPOST!!!!

Summary: counting down the days until you finally see your long-distance boyfriend.

Mark is a jerk at one point. Also noticed how I put skype when they were calling through the phone and ft through laptop LOL

word count: 5.7k

Also lets pretend we can use spotify in korea ok

--Day 98

(10:33PM) Cutie: you idiot

(10:33PM) Cutie: answer my call!! You loserrrr

(10:34PM) You: omg give me a second

(10:35PM) You: ffs jshkdmj

(10:35PM) Cutie: omg what are you doing

(10:35PM) Cutie: why are you taking so long

(10:37PM) You: GIVE ME A SECOND 

(10:37PM) You: im taking food

You plop onto your bed, placing the  plate of grapes on the mattress, resulting in some to topple out of the bowl. You quickly pop one in your mouth before turning on your laptop. 

Before you could even call Mark, he was already requesting a facetime with you. You immediately answered. 

“Finally,” your boyfriend huffs when the call was finally connected. 

You hum, your hands searching for more grapes that has dropped on your bed sheets, popping them in your mouth. 

“What are you eating?” he asks. 

“Grapes,” your voice came out muffled from chewing, but Mark understands. 

“That’s what took you so long?” he frowns, “I can cut a watermelon in 5 seconds,”

“I didn’t ask,” you bite back. 

Your boyfriend automatically raises his hand to flash his middle finger while you did the same back at him. 

“What time is it there?” you ask him with raised eyebrows. 

You were studying in Korea but because of the virus, you had to go back to Canada. You didn’t know how long you would be staying, but Mark had promised you that he would make it work. 

“Um,” he looks at the clock that was a hanging next to him, “it’s 2:30PM here,” he answers, looking back at you, “It’s about 11 there, right?”

You nod.

“Don’t you have class tomorrow?” Mark asks. 

Lucky for you, your classes has changed to the local timing in Canada. Meaning, you don’t need to stay up at ungodly hours for your classes. 

“I think I can wake up tomorrow,”

“Do you want me to call you?”

“Please,” you pout.

Mark scowls jokingly at you, “the things I do for my girlfriend,”

You giggle innocently at your boyfriend, “I love you,” you make a heart with your hands, grinning at your laptop. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolls his eyes. 

--Day 90

“Babe, look up,” you call. 

Mark looks up to see you holding your phone up, obviously filming him through the screen. 

“What?”

He could hear you grinning from behind your phone.

“Smile,” you instruct. 

He grins awkwardly while you let out a snort from behind the screen. You put your phone down, typing something before looking back up at your boyfriend. 

“What did you do?” 

You look up at him, biting back a smile— to which you failed, “go check Instagram,”

Mark immediately opens Instagram to see that you had posted something on your private Instagram. Only him and the members are following your private account since your relationship is still private. 

He clicks on the bubble to see a video of him that you had recorded. When he smiles, his face morphed into a horse from of the filter you were using. Mark couldn’t help but chuckle at the funny effect. 

“Okay, that’s kinda funny,” he admits. 

He looks back up at you to see you holding your phone in front of your face again, probably trying another filter on him again. 

“Is this another ugly filter, again?” whines your boyfriend. 

You laugh, your phone not covering your face anymore, “it’s not!”

“Don’t lie,”

Your giggles got louder, “it’s not! I swear!”

“Fine,” he huffs. He straightens his back and stares at the camera, waiting for you to finish recording. 

You put your phone down re-watching the video, chuckles leaving your lips. 

“What filter did you use?”

“It’s on my insta, baby,”

He looks down on his phone again to see that you have posted another story. He immediately clicks on it to see it was an NCT filter. 

‘Who is your NCT Bias?’  Was written on top of his head.

Mark waits for the filter to show the result. He grimaced when he got Jeno. He swipes up to reply to your story to send you a message. 

markleeee99 replied to your story: ewww

--Day 87

(1:18PM) mwark: hello baby

(1:20PM) you: wht im having class rn

(1:20PM) mwark: so

(1:25PM) you: i have class??? go away loser

(1:25PM) mwark: :( I just wanna talk to my girlfriend tho :/

(1:27PM) you: later

(1:27PM) mwark: nooo 

(1:33PM) you: omg youre an idol why are you so free

(1:34PM) you: go dance or rap or smth

(1:34PM) mwark: babyyyy

(1:35PM) you: im putting my phone on dnd

(1:35PM) mwark: nooo

(1:35PM) mwark: babe

(1:40PM) mwark: did you actually leave me D:

(1:40PM) mwark: ok whatev

(1:40PM) mwark: I was about to send you something but I guess I won’t now

(1:40PM) mwark: are you still ignoring me????

(1:41PM) mwark: omg babe I was jst joking I’ll send you some gifts

(1:41PM) mwark: booo u suck :(

--Day 81

This time, it was slightly different. Instead of your usual late-night calls through the computer, you had immediately skype him through your phone when you had received a package from Korea. 

“You got me something?” you ask loudly when your boyfriend answered your call. 

“Jeez, hello to you too, babe,” he rolls his eyes, “and yea, did it arrive?”

“What did you get me? And what type of shipping did you choose? It arrived so quickly,” 

The box was pretty heavy, so you had to put your phone down to place the huge box on the counter before bringing your phone back into view. 

“Express, I paid like extra,” Mark answers, eyeing you through the screen.

You click your tongue, opening the drawer to take out a knife, “stop wasting your money, you dumbass,”

Mark didn’t reply, instead he waits for you to open the package.

You let out a sigh, “what did you get me this time?”

You open the cardboard box, a navy-blue hoodie covering the top of it. You pull it out, looking at Mark who has a smile plastered on his face. 

“Is this your hoodie?!” you squeal, putting it on yourself. 

Your heart melt when the familiar scent fills your nostrils. It smells just like Mark. 

“Canada is getting cold isn’t it? Keep yourself warm, baby,”

You lean over to take everything out from the box. Mark had given you his half-used cologne that he uses on a daily.

“I bought a new one just so I could give you mine,” he tells you, a playful smirk on his lips. 

He had also packed some of your favourite Korean snacks, and some that you haven’t tried before. Along with some matching phone cases for the both of you. 

“Now I feel bad I didn’t get anything for you,” you frown., pulling the hoodie over your head.

“Don’t be,” he reassures you, “being able to see you is already enough,”

You scrunch your nose in disgust, “cringey, Mark-ie,”

“Fuck you,” he chuckles, flashing his middle finger at you. 

Your eyes widen when he cursed, “my mom’s home, you idiot!”

You laugh loudly when Mark’s eyes widen in surprise, both his hands covering his mouth. 

“Y/N?” you hear your mom call from the living room, “who are you talking to?”

Before you could even reply, your mother was walking towards you. 

“It’s Mark,” you answer as your mother got into frame to see Mark. 

“Mark! It has been a while, how’s Korea?”

Your boyfriend greeted your mom politely, a grin plastered on his face. Your mom was about to reach for your phone to talk to Mark, but you frown and pull away. 

“Noo, I wanna talk to Mark,”

You gathered the gifts Mark had given you in your arms before skipping up the stairs to your room, to spend the whole day (night for him) with him.

--Day 80

“Yo, Mark, there’s some food left outside, do you want it?” you heard Johnny ask from through the screen. 

Mark turns to look at the intruder, “knock next time, dude,” groans Mark. 

“Is that y/n?” 

Johnny suddenly enters the frame with a gummy grin, waving enthusiastically at you.

“Hi Johnny, how are you?” you smile, waving back at the older boy. 

Just when Johnny was about to get comfortable on Mark’s bed, your boyfriend let out string of whines, moving his phone until you could only see his cheeks. 

“Ah, that’s enough,” your boyfriend says in annoyance, “y/n is tired, goodnight, baby.”

You  couldn’t even reply because Mark had already ended the skype call. 

You pout, opening your messenger to send a text to your boyfriend. 

(7:35PM) You: heyyy why’d you end the call? ):

(7:36PM) Bubba: sorry

(7:36PM) Bubba: johnny was being annoying

(7:36PM) You: he wasn’t tho ):

(7:36PM) You: can we call again?

(7:38PM) Bubba: sorry angel

(7:38PM) Bubba: johnny wants me to go make music

(7:38PM) Bubba: later tonight?

(7:38PM) You: oky

(7:42PM) You: love u!

(7:42PM) Bubba: love u too 

(7:42PM) Bubba: <3

--Day 76

You were in the middle of facetiming mark when your phone vibrates from a text. You raise your eyebrows, thinking it was Mark. 

(12:11AM) Johnny: hey

(12:11AM) Johnny: I need to ask you something

(12:13AM) You: yeah?

(12:13AM) Johnny: is mark okay lately?

(12:13AM) You: he seems fine to me, why? Did something happen?

(12:14AM) Johnny: I don’t know if I should tell you about this

(12:14AM) Johnny: but

(12:14AM) Johnny: youre the only one who can probably help him

(12:14AM) You: help him with what?

You look up at your laptop to see that Mark’s eyes was still glued on his phone. Probably playing some games. 

(12:17AM) Johnny: he hasn’t been eating lately

(12:19AM) Johnny: he doesn’t really tell us stuff anymore so I was wondering you would’ve known something?

(12:22AM) You: oh

(12:22AM) You: he hasn’t told me anything

(12:23AM) You: I’ll talk to him about it

(12:25AM) You: thanks johnny :)

“Hey,” you jump at your boyfriend’s voice. You snap your head to look at your boyfriend who was already staring at you with curious eyes. “What are you so busy with?”

You clear your throat, shaking your head, tossing your phone to the side. 

“I wanna ask you something,” you say.

“Whats up?”

You scratch your head, unsure of how to put it into words without offending your boyfriend. You knew he hated being babied but you still want to care for him. He was your other half, after all. 

“Have you been eating well lately?”

You could sense Mark was stunned by the random question. He looks away from your wary eyes. 

“Who told you?”

“Mark—”

“It was Johnny wasn’t it?” he cuts you off in anger. “God damn it, this is why I don’t want you talking to my friends,”

Why was he making this such a big deal?

“Mark I was just asking a simple question, why are you acting this way?” you argued back. 

He shakes his head, threading his fingers through his black hair stressfully. 

“I need to go Y/N,” sighs your boyfriend, “Goodnight,”

“Mark—” you were too late. Mark had already ended the call. 

A heavy sigh left your lips as you lied down on your bed. 

You weren’t sure if you should text him or give him space. Should you apologize? Was it your fault for bringing it up?

After thinking for a while, you decided to send him a text. 

(8:33PM) You: hi baby. I was just asking because I was worried about you. I know you hate it when I baby you, but I’m just looking out for you. I didn’t mean to bother you

(8:33PM) You: please don’t blame your friends for this. 

(8:36PM) You: I’m sorry, okay?

(8:40PM) You: I just want you to eat healthily. I’m not there to take care of you and I just want you to be healthy.

(8:47PM) You: just text me whenever so we can talk this out

(8:57PM) You: goodnight, mark

--Day 75

(12:03PM) Lovey: hey

(12:03PM) Lovey: I was thinking and realised how selfish I acted towards you

(12:05PM) Lovey: I know you were just looking out for me and I was just wasn’t in the mood because of how stressful it has been

(12:05PM) Lovey: please don’t apologize. Its my fault

(12:15PM) You: why haven’t you been eating?

(12:15PM) Lovey: comeback

(12:15PM) Lovey: I’m trying to lose some cheeks for this comeback

(12:30PM) Lovey: sorry for worrying you

(12:31PM) You: whaa…

(12:33PM) You: but you know my favourite part of your face is your cheeks D:

(12:33PM) Lovey: :(

(12:33PM) You: will you start eating again?

(12:35PM) You: im not going to force you, mark. It’s really up to you. 

(12:35PM) Lovey: im eating right now

(12:35PM) You: what are you eating

(12:38PM) Lovey: cereal

(12:38PM) Lovey: and um some left over sushi from yesterday

(12:38PM) You: ohhh sounds delicious

(12:40PM) You: okay I wont disturb you anymore, have fun eating bby

As you were about to put your phone away but there was an incoming videocall from your boyfriend. A small chuckle left your lips as you answered the call.

­--Day 73

“Yo, did you see it?!” was the first thing Mark had asked you when you answered his call. 

You raise your eyebrows in confusion, sitting up from your laying position, “see what?”

“We just posted a new dance practice; did you not see it?” his eyes widen dismay. 

You shook your head, grabbing your laptop from the table, placing it on your lap, “nope, my phone was on dnd,”

“How did you answer my call, then?”

“You’re in my favourites dumbass,” 

You type in your password before searching YouTube and clicking on the video that your boyfriend was talking about. 

While watching the video, you placed your phone resting on the laptop so Mark could see your face. Throughout the whole video, you were singing softly to the song. 

“Did you see that?! Did you see it?” Mark suddenly yells through the screen during the dance break part. 

You jump a little, “what? What? What did I miss?”

He groans at you, “the bracelet! Johnny dropped it!”

“Huh?” you press the arrow to repeat it again and you noticed how Johnny’s bracelet fell while he was dancing. 

“Wait a little more, I picked it up! Like a professional!”

You waited a little longer and your boyfriend was right. While he was getting into position, your boyfriend had swept the bracelet in his hands. 

You grin, “proud of you, babe,”

You wanted to continue watching but your laptop started lagging from the terrible wi-fi. You groan in annoyance, pressing pause, hoping it would reload but it only hangs even more. 

“God damnit, this fucking wi-fi,”

“Should I buy you a router? Or a new laptop?” he jokes. 

--Day 71

(9:02PM) You: hey wanna call?

(9:02PM) You: today was so stressful I just wanna talk to you

(10:12PM) You: ahh you must be busy with comeback

(9:32PM) You: sorry babe! We’ll jst call tmr? :)

(9:33PM) You: love u! make sureee u drink lots of water <3

-Day 67

Mark lets out an aspirated sigh as he answers your facetime call. “What, Y/N?”

You frown at the way he greets you. He was moody probably because he just finished practicing. 

You could tell from how he was laying on his bed without a shirt on, or how he would repeatedly thread his fingers through his black locks. 

“I just wanted to talk to you,” you mumble out softly, your eyes softening, feeling guilty that you were disturbing him. 

You bit your lip anxiously when Mark simply sighs, rolling his eyes slightly, “should we just call another time?” 

He sighs once more, moving around until he lays on his side, “no, no, what’s up?”

You felt a little hesitant, unsure if he was being sarcastic or not. Mark wasn’t the type to approach something if he doesn’t like it, he would just go with the flow. 

You shook your head, laying back down onto your bed, “No, you’re tired and I shouldn’t be disturbing you right now.”

Mark opens his mouth but you cut him off, “Sorry, Mark. Goodnight.”

You quickly end the call with a heavy heart, throwing your phone next to you. You knew you shouldn’t be expecting an incoming call from your boyfriend, but you shamelessly waited for his specific ringtone. 

It did break your heart a little when you didn’t get any response from your boyfriend. 

That night, you had spent your time watching Netflix with tears rolling down your cheeks. 

-Day 62

“Y/N?”

A choked sob left your throat, your hands wiping the tears running down your cheeks. 

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Johnny’s voice filled your ears. 

You gulp as your heart clench painfully when you hear Mark’s laughter in the background. 

“Y/N, d-do you want me to pass the phone to Mark?”

“N-no,” you quickly say out, pausing a little. Hiccups leaving your lips, “d-don’t… please,”

“Okay?” Johnny replies in uncertainty, “Are you… okay? Should I beat Mark up?” he jokes. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to smile. “How is he doing?” you whisper, but Johnny could hear very clearly. 

You assumed that he had moved somewhere else since you can’t hear the boys screaming in the background. 

“Did something happen?” Johnny asks, “I’m not with them right now, so you can tell me.”

You remember the last time you had last talked to Mark.

It has been exactly 5 days since the both of you last texted— or even called. You weren’t sure why or how it happened. 

It had taken a big toll on you— you couldn’t focus during lessons and you had spent most of the nights wide awake, thinking what had gone wrong. You had contemplated multiple times whether you should send him a text, but every time you push yourself to say something, you would always remember how busy he is. 

“We haven’t been talking for a while,” you answer painfully, “but he’s doing fine, right?”

You hope he’s doing fine.

You hear Johnny lets out an agitated sigh, “Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll go talk to him, okay?”

“Just… don’t stress him out even more.”

“I won’t. Just… stop crying over him, okay?” he says, “Mark is an idiot, he’s not worth crying over.”

A small giggle leaves your lips, “you sound like a girl right now,”

-Day 61

(12:12AM) Mark: hey babe

(12:12AM) Mark: johnny just talked to me about what happened

(12:13AM) Mark: can we talk?

(12:45AM) You: okay

(12:45AM) Mark: great, I’ll call you

(12:45AM) You: no

(12:46AM) You: we’ll text

(12:46AM) You: here

You just know that you would be a sobbing mess once you hear Mark’s voice. 

(12:46AM) Mark: oh

(12:46AM) Mark: okay

(12:46AM) Mark: youre okay tho

(12:47AM) Mark: right

(12:52AM) You: mhm

(12:52AM) Mark: that’s great um

(12:52AM) Mark: i didn’t know you were feeling that way

(12:53AM) Mark: i’ve been so busy lately i forgot to text or call you

(12:53AM) Mark: and that is not your fault at all

(12:53AM) Mark: i shouldn’t be acting like that in the first place

(12:54AM) Mark: its just really hard with timezones and everything

(12:54AM) Mark: especially with the comeback and all

(12:54AM) You: what are you saying mark?

(12:55AM) Mark: what?

(12:58AM) You: are you breaking up with me?

(12:58AM) Mark: wat? no. what.

(12:58AM) You: wait so we’re not breaking up?

(12:58AM) Mark: what

(12:58AM) Mark: no of course not what are you saying?

(12:59AM) You: I DON’T KNOW 

(12:59AM) You: i thought you wanted to break up

(12:59AM) Mark: no I don’t want to what the fuck

(12:59AM) You: so we’re good now right?

-Day 51

 Soft melodies were playing in the background while the both of you were doing different things. 

You were sitting on your chair, your elbows pressing painfully against your desk, working on your homework diligently. Your phone was perched on your lamp, making sure Mark could see your face.

Your boyfriend was laying on his bed with a notebook laying in front of him, a pen in his hand while he thought of lyrics. He had his legs swinging back and forth behind him cutely. 

You exhale loudly as you re-read the same question over and over again. 

Mark immediately looks up, “you okay?”

You hum without even looking at him before you continued doing your work. 

Mark decides to leave you alone as to not distract you. He rests his cheek against his arm as he tries to think of another sentence to finish the song he was working on. 

His eyes slowly dart towards you who had their eyebrows furrowed cutely, a pout plastered on your lips, baby hairs littering against your forehead and cheeks. 

Without even realising, a small smile spreads across Mark’s lips. His breath slows down as he relaxed and stares at your figure. 

Multiple sentences that could be used as lyrics flooded through his head. He quickly sits up to write the flood of inspiration that was bursting through his veins. 

-Day 43

(2:53AM) boyfie: duuudee!!

(2:53AM) boyfie: vlive!!

(2:53AM) boyfie: quick!!!!!

(3:15AM) You: omg ok give me a sec

(3:15AM) You: I just woke up

With a yawn, you open the vlive app and click on the NCT127 page to enter the live your boyfriend was doing. 

‘Hi’ you type in the comment section. You stare at your boyfriend, scanning his facial expression to notice your comment. 

Exactly 5 seconds later, a huge grin spreads across his lips as he looks up at the camera to wave. 

It eased you to know that he was waving at you, for you. Maybe you were being selfish, but you were glad that Mark was yours. Although it does get on your nerves when you see your friends post about how much he loves your boyfriend. 

‘mark is so handsome’ you typed. 

Unfortunately, Mark didn’t notice your comment, but Donghyuck did. Donghyuck nudges your boyfriend, who immediately responded, turning to look at him. 

His friend showed him your comment, which your boyfriend immediately smiles to. 

‘I love mark lee so much!!!’

A few seconds later Mark creates a small heart at the camera before looking away with crimson red cheeks. 

-Day 38

“So you and Mina, huh?” you say bitterly, rolling your eyes. 

You were referring to the interaction between the two when Mina was leaving music bank. You might’ve been slightly jealous of the chemistry between the two, especially when all the fans would ship the both of them.

Mark can only watch you in amusement, a small smile playing along his lips. 

“Is she better than me?” you say sarcastically, clicking your tongue, 

You envied their friendship. Someone who was merely a friend was able to see your boyfriend so easily. 

His face softens, “you know she’s not like that, baby,” his tone was soft, easy to persuade you. 

Baby. You wanted to scoff at that. He only used that term when he was trying to win your heart. 

You huff, crossing your arms violently. “You’re always with her!”

He chuckles, looking down at his phone before looking back up at you quickly.

You pout at the boy through the screen, “you love me more, right Mark?”

He sarcastically rolls his at your question. What kind of question was that?

His face scrunches in disgust, “Firstly, I don’t even love Mina that way, babe,” he tells you, “and secondly, the only person I love you, alright? So stop being jealous you wimp.”

“Wimp?” you scoff, “and you’re my boyfriend?”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Just as you were about to respond to him, your phone vibrated with a notification. You look down and gaped. 

_happiness_o wants to send you a message.

“Mark…”

You unlocked your phone to see the message that Mina was trying to send you.

“You told her?!” you exclaimed, looking up at your boyfriend who was stifling  his laughter. “Mark! Why would you do that?!” you whine, throwing your phone next to you. 

“In my defence, I didn’t tell her to send you a text,” he says, “I was just talking about how cute you were being!”

-Day 22

You were laying on your side, deep in a slumber while Mark stares at you lovingly. 

Your cheek pressed cutely against your pillow which made your lips pout cutely. The little pieces of hair adorning your temples and cheeks only made Mark want to push it back against your ear. Something he would do every time you were sleeping with him. 

He suddenly got an idea and fishes out his phone, searching a filter that he had saved for this particular moment.

He clicks on the filter, waiting for it to load for a moment, before adjusting the angle so the filter could scan his face properly. Once he was sure it won’t budge, he presses record. 

‘your soulmate is sleeping right now’

A sad smile adorns his lips, looking at you through the screen. He flips the camera, zooming into your sleeping form then ending the video. 

Mark was quite hesitant to post it since he was never the type to post about his relationship with you. But these past few days has been hitting him differently. 

He missed you so much, he swore he could go crazy. He had spent another unreasonable amount on you again. He couldn’t even sleep because you were always stuck on his mind.

He bit his lip anxiously before posting the video on his Instagram story. He noticed how your phone vibrated right when it was uploaded— you had his notifications on.

-Day 15

“So it’s gonna be forever~” you sing loudly, pointing your hairbrush to Mark who was laughing loudly through the screen. 

“Or it’s gonna go down in flames…” he sings off tune. 

While you were busy singing and dancing from all Taylor Swift’s song, Mark had stealthily recorded you with his phone to upload them on his private Instagram. 

‘idiot. But my idiot’ he captioned before tagging you and posting it on his page. 

“Sing with me, Mark!” you shout, looking at your boyfriend. “Cherry lips, crystal skies, I could show you incredible things,” you sang, pointing at Mark. 

Your boyfriend blushes when he realizes you were singing to him. 

You cough loudly before clearing your throat after blaring out lyrics to Taylor swift. You reach for your cup of water before gulping it down. 

“What song should we sing to next?” you ask, scrolling down through you and Mark’s playlist. The both of you had shared one account ever since he found out the both of you shared the same music taste. 

“Should we do a rap?” he suggests. 

You smirk up at him, “oooh, because you’re a rapper, huh? Okay, okay.”

You thumb press on ‘Beauty and a Beat’ by Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj. 

“I’m a better rapper than you, Mark Lee,” you shout at your boyfriend before rapping to Nicki Minaj’s part. 

It was so adorable at how you stumbled over some words, or when you had your eyebrows furrowed trying to rap to the lyrics.

At this moment, Mark thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. You had your hair tied up in the ugliest bun he has ever seen, but you looked so adorable, especially in the huge t-shirt you were wearing. But most importantly, the huge grin plastered on your lips and tint of red adorning your cheeks, puts a smile on Mark’s face.

Right when the song has ended, you let out a tired sigh, lying against your bed. 

“Am I better than you, Markie?”

He bit back a smile and nodded, “you should replace me in NCT, babe,”

You pretend to think, “I should, shouldn’t I?”

-Day 7

You were talking about Mark about your friend who had pissed you off earlier today.

He shrugs, “honestly, I saw that coming. I never liked her,”

You groan, throwing your head back, “I know right,” you stress, “I should’ve listened to you,”

Mark rests his cheek against his palm, “so what are you going to do?”

You pout, “I don’t know. What should I do, Mark?”

Your boyfriend hums, thinking for a while, “I think it’s best if you cut her off. She doesn’t deserve you, babe.”

You let out an aspirated sigh, frowning. “she was just a close friend…” you trailed off sadly. 

“I know, baby,” he coos, “but your mental health is important too.”

Your eyes widen cutely, “I love you,”

That caught your boyfriend off-guard, his eyes widen in awe. “w-what, don’t be weird!” he sputters out.

“You’re weird!” you bite back. 

-Day 3

“Mark,” you call out, your boyfriend immediately humming. “I learnt a new tiktok dance,”

He raises his eyebrows. He has never downloaded Tiktok but he knows how much you love the app. Most of the time the both of you were calling, you would be scrolling through the app, sending him links of videos that you found funny. 

It was a secret: Mark never actually watches the video. But you do not need to know that. 

“Show me, baby,”

You stood up, adjusting your laptop in a decent position. You reach for your phone to play the music before you started dancing. 

Mark recognized the song as Savage. It was a song that Taeyong would constantly play. 

Your boyfriend’s eyes widen in bewilderment, amazed at how good you were at dancing.

“Woah, woah,” he gapes when you started throwing back. 

When the song ended, you ambled towards your laptop, “how was it? Was I good? Was I as good as Taeyong and Johnny?”

He rolls his eyes at that, “do you do it to other people?”

“What?”

“The throwing back thing,”

Ah. He was jealous. 

You shrug, looking away from his intense gaze, “I don’t know. I was planning to ask some of my friends about their opinion.”

“Y/N,” he says sternly.

“I was joking! Jeez. You’re such a party pooper.” 

-Day 2

You laid on your side, your arm supporting your head. A movie was playing on your laptop screen but you could only stare at Mark’s face. 

He was busy laughing at one of the scenes but you couldn’t focus from his handsome face. 

He was wearing the ugly black glasses that he chose a few weeks ago, but he still looked so good in your eyes. His black hair was styled messily from laying around.

“Babe, are you watching?” his eyes widen cutely after sensing how quiet you were being. 

“I am,” you mumble out, but your eyes never leaved your boyfriend’s screen.

“Okay,” he whispers, resting his body as he continued watching the movie that was played on the screen. 

At this moment in time, you wanted to tell Mark how much you love him. You wanted to smother him in kisses.

“Mark,” you called. You realise how he had paused the movie that was playing to listen to you. “I love you,” you tell him. 

Mark was frozen for a second, confused yet flustered by your sudden confusion. He smirks, playing the movie, “weirdo. I love you too, you cutie.”

-Day 1

(11:01PM) bub: babyyyy hiiiii

(11:01PM) bub: wanna call ;)

(11:05PM) bub: hello why r u not replying

(11:05PM) bub: it’s only 11 there

(11:10PM) bub: I know youre not asleep babe

(11:10PM) bub: arghhh

(11:10PM) bub: are you asleep????

(11:10PM) bub: :(

(11:10PM) bub: well ok gn bb I’ll talk to you tmr

(11:10PM) bub: love youuuu

D-DAY

You were laying on Mark’s bed restlessly, waiting for your boyfriend to reach his dorm. When you heard the door unlock, a grin spread across your lips when you saw your boyfriend walk in. 

“Hi Mark,” you greet, waving at your boyfriend.

Mark looks up at you and nods, “hi y/n,” he says back before turning the other way to go to the bathroom.

You bit back a smile quietly, giving him a minute to realise. You quietly stood up by the bed to amble towards your boyfriend.

“Wait,” he pauses, turning around slowly, his eyes widening at the sight of you walking up to him, “w-what? Is this real? y/n?”

You smile at him, spreading your arms, waiting for him to tackle you in a hug. “I’m here, baby.”

“Oh my god,” he breathes out before rushing towards you to pull you against his chest. “You’re here, oh my god,”

You rest your head on his chest, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. You’ve missed the moment for so long. For more than 3 months, you had to live without Mark’s presence.

He pulls you away, his hand gripping your shoulder tightly. “How— what are you doing here?!” he exclaims. 

Your cheeks were hurting from smiling so much, “to see you, of course!”

“You surprised me!” he exclaims, pulling you in for another hug, “oh my god, you scared me so much, I love you so much. When did you get here? You didn’t answer my texts yesterday!”

“I love you too and I was in the plane, I couldn’t text you back,” you reply, however your voice was muffled by the black cotton shirt he was wearing. You pull away, looking up at him, “are you not going to kiss me?” you asked abruptly.

He looks down at you with wide eyes, “w-what. That is so sudden, don’t say that!” he stutters out, looking away from you. 

You pout at him, wrapping your arms around his neck, “what? I came all the way here, didn’t get enough sleep just to see my boyfriend but he won’t kiss me?”

He scowls at you, his arm dropping to rest around your waist. He leans down to connect both your lips. You felt your heart spark when you felt his lips graze against yours. 

You didn’t even realise you were pulling him down even more to kiss him deeper. Mark’s grip on your waist tightened, pulling you even closer. 

“Ah, the kids have finally met,” you heard someone say from behind you two. 

Mark and you pull away breathlessly, his lips tinted a bright shiny red. The both of you turn around to see Taeil standing at the door. 

Your boyfriend whines, “Go away, Hyung,”

[xxkellsvixen19xx]

Forget Me Too Colson Baker X Reader

Word Count 1,448

"You want me to forget you

Okay, forget me too

You tell me you hate me

Baby, yeah, I bet you do"

Some relationships last forever, but most don’t. Some, in particular, seem destined to crash and burn. And not just burn like a campfire but go up in flames like someone doused them with a truckload of gasoline and topped it off with some dynamite. There are few experiences more devastating than a bad breakup— such was the case with Colson and Y/N. 

I was okay but deep inside i wasn't.

Since then there's not been a single day that has passed without him being in my thoughts.

I tried everything. Blocked him. Convinced him. Flirted with another guys. Casual datings. Slept with few of them. Made girlfriends. Installed all sort of dating applications. Deleted Instagram. Isolated myself. Read as many books i could get my hands on. Travelled, been on trips. Made good friends. Stalked him. Talked to him. Tried to be best friends but to what end? No ends

So every fucking thing I did. It is not that I was miserable but there was something missing that was bothering me and that was Colson.

We tried to make things right and atleast stay in touch but I failed everytime. He used to follow me, text me and even check on me and I just blocked him because I missed him but i didn't want to talk to him. Not because I was jealous or I was angry but yeah I missed what Colson and I had and I knew that now we can never have.

We tried but failed. Or maybe only I did.

But still I did talk to him and it was me who blocked him more than ten times. And I was the one who also unblocked and he used to talk to me. He used to say until now you're the one I have shared my life with and we can end up with what we started from. Being bestfriends but that was not acceptable to me. I tried several times but it didn't work out.

He tried to explain all sort of things to me but the heart wants what is wants.

Three years have passed and I feel the same for Colson. He was cute but not so innocent and he never left my system. It was all in my head and slowly I realised and I did leave from the very place that felt like home.

But it was now just a wreck. Couldn't be fixed. We were done breaking one another in the name of love.

Colson did try to save that friendship. Not just once, but a few times. But Silence was the response. Then he gifted her Space and stayed away so she can be happy. Love isn’t about possession.

Sometimes we don't get closure all the time and it is not required either. We just have to learn to live with that pain.

He had broken her he knew that between countless times of forgetting date nights, the numerous one night stands with other women and of course his drug issue was often the subject of many an argument. Any trust Y/N had once had was now gone. He thought back to the last argument they had…

Flashback…

“NO FUCK YOU KELLS IF YOU WANNA GO OUT PARTYING ALL NIGHT GO IM FUCKING DONE WITH THESE GAMES” Y/N screams and storms out the house in the pouring rain getting intoher car. 

“OK FUCK YOU TOO” Colson screams back walking out the house in nothing but joggers. 

Y/N climbs in her car and speeds out the drive way and onto the street.

That was the last time they spoke face to face. She wouldn't respond to his texts or his phone calls no matter how much he tried. Colson lost Y/N and for good this time and he had no one to blame but himself. 

"Fuck!" Tossing the empty beer bottle he had in his hand it hit the wall and smashed into tiny pieces. Emotions ruled the scene. All the Worlds a stage and both of us were the leads in the play called LIFE. "I know how much you are hurt and I don't know what am I going to do to make up for it" Colson thought to himself. 

I've wasted so much time

Waitin' around for your phone calls every night

My bad dreams are silk screens

'Cause I taste blood when you bleed

It's eatin' me alive

We'd both be better off alone

Still think I'd get you on the phone

With one last breath in me

I'd die before I'd let you leave. 

Sometimes silence speaks a thousand words, with more deep meaning. Words take back stage. Love is much more than just a feeling.

True Love waits with patience, but sometimes true love alone is not enough. There is no past tense in love. You always will love. May be the heart will try to heal and learn to live with that pain, the biggest problem is to silence the mind and move on. 

It's not even like getting over a dead person. Getting over someone you love truly is an extremely difficult task. Someday your heart will learn to live with it. It may not completely move on, but it will try to heal and live with it. The problem is to just silence the mind.

It hurts. It hurts real bad. It stings. There is a pang in Colson's heart every single time he think about Y/N. He cares for her that much and he loves her that much. He experienced the  pinnacle of happiness when he was with her, and now when she leaves, he experiences a nadir of sadness. It really hurts because he still cared and he will care, even though she is no longer with him. His heart will still care.

May be he loved her way too much and pushed her away or didn't know how to properly show it, all he ever did was fuck up. But it is the only way he knew to love her. Because she still means the whole world to him. He really has that hope that she is happy and if at all she comes back, she will still be the only princess in his life. If at all everyday in life he wanted to ask: "would you like to save today's changes?" World would be an awesome place. But that's what life is all about. We all make mistakes and we learn.

Sometimes time doesn’t heal things. It just makes us stronger to deal with pain. Sometimes true love alone isn’t enough. But someday if at all she realizes his love, she will still be the one he truly loves and care for.

I’m sorry for strangling you with my true love.

I’m sorry when I love you unconditionally even after you wanted me to stay away and move on.

I’m sorry if my care appeared as pestering.

I’m sorry if my love appeared as torture.

Colson thought aloud as if Y/N was right there in the room to hear him. 

It was all because I truly love you unconditionally. Even after you broke my heart a million times, those million pieces still love you to the truest of its senses. Because that is what love is all about. UNCONDITIONAL.

But all I wanted to say to your deafening Silence when you cut me off from your life and left is that “Staying away and no communication is never a solution to anything in life my dear.”

It is not that he didn’t accept that she don’t want him anymore in her life, but that he still loves and cares about her even though she can’t give me anything in return. It is not because he can’t move on or don’t want to move on, it is because his love for you is true.

He is not crying because it ended. But because he still loves her. Even after she ended it and ignored him completely. Tears start rolling down his cheeks, when he guided her hair behind her ears ,in the latest picture of hers.The moment when a picture speaks a thousand words. Every love story doesn't have a happy ending, because TRUE LOVE doesn't have an end. He still loves her in silence.

But he promises her that life will move on and he has learnt to live with that pain. He has learnt to emotionally detach myself and be strong. Life now even without her though was just going through the motions. 

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Episode 29 - The fashion brand that doesn't sell a single item of clothing.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru starting this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome again...Well well well...

J: Hanshin?

K: You know it aready! haha

J: I knew the moment you said 'Well well well'

T: You took a really deep breath.

K: Haha

J: Whenever you lament in that way, its probably Hanshin. Whats going on with them?

K: Well, its kinda like 'Hmm'

J: Haha

K: They are winning some and losing some.

T: Yeah.

K: I talked about this before, but after they got 20 points...

T: Ah! Yes

K: They started getting worse.

T: Yeh, yeh, its true.

J: Did they use everything they had all at once?

K: Well, I mean..But! They just can't win against the Giants.

T: Yeah.

J: Why is that?

T: They can win against other teams.

K: Yeh, its only the Giants. They get destroyed by them.

J: Haha

K: I can't say anything else.

J: Weren't they beaten three times in a row recently or something?

T: Yeah, moreover they didn't get a single point.

K: They were totally crushed three times in a row.

J: Ehh?

T: Its incredible.

J: There's nothing good to come out of this? Why did it happen?

K: They're trying too hard..whatever they do, they try too hard. They never get it right.

J: Oh, really?..Dare I ask you? Honestly? Is there any posibility for Hanshin to win again?

K: There is!

J: There is? Oh good!

K: Yeah, there is....but the Giants are pretty strong.

J: Kami, can't you do something for Hanshin?

Kami: That would be quite difficult. Three losses in a row is quite bad isn't it?

T: Yeah.

J: Its impossible for you to help? Can't you use some of your power?

Kami:......... No, I don't have any power.

J: Haha

Kami: The higher up gods do, but not the lower ones.

J: Can't you ask one of the higher up gods? You could be their mouthpiece.

Kami:.........No, the conditions are strict.

K: Ok, Joe, today's topic please.

J: Yep...Its the news about the mystery of the northern European fashion brand that doesn't sell a single item of clothing. The website 'Carlings' catering to mainly northern Europe, has launched the fashion brand 'Neo-ex'. But it seems as if you can't actually buy clothes on the site. As for how it works, users can choose fashion they like from the 'Neo-Ex' collection, then they upload a photo of themselves. After that a team of exclusive 3D designers will created realistic images of you wearing the clothes. Then the user can buy the images. For example, they could use 'Neo-Ex' in order to look cool on social media. As for the price, you don't buy the clothes, only the image, but it costs between ¥1,300 and ¥3,900. It may appear as profiteering to some, but their aim is to cast the first stone in reducing the huge amount of waste that the fashion industry produces. What do you think about this Kaoru?

K: I mean...I don't really know.

J: You don't know? haha

K: I don't know, but at the same time Im kinda like, 'Ah, I see'.

T: Well, this method was first created at the beginning of 2019. Its still a bit strange, even now, but for sure, I think its good to use with social media.

J: Mmm, I see. Isetan did something similar to this after corona started. When it got really bad with corona, no-one could go to department stores, no one went to shops, so Isetan made avatars, like in a video, and in that the avatars could go shopping, and try on clothes. They charged a fee for it. I read an interview about it,  and what I found interesting was that rather than aiming this at stressed out people who love clothes, but can't go shopping, by letting people make avatars, they were trying to open up an entirely different market. Well, thats what people are saying. This project might be a bit different from that though...Well, its not about buying clothes in reality...well, their aim may be to bring attention to the waste the fashion industry produces, but it also kinda changes the way we see fashion. It doesn't matter how much you pick with this, right? You don't buy them.

T: Yeah.

K: Well, yeh.

T: If you never leave your house, and start living though an avatar, its like your life is over. I have a feeling we'll start hearing stories like that.

K: But there are loads of peope on social media who model clothes that they've bought, aren't there?

J: Yeah..So as for who this fits, its one way to express yourself on social media, right?

K: In that sense, its ok isn't it? And its cheaper than buying the actual clothes. Ah, but does the design team choose for you? Ah, you choose yourself?

J: Yeah, then they create an image of you wearing the clothes. You don't actually buy the clothes, so there is no kind of waste produced, but if you want to just show everyone how the clothes look, you can pay from ¥1,300  to about ¥4000.

T: Its expensive!

K: This would be interesting if various brands were included.

T: Well, yeh.

J: Yeh.

K: And people like us (Dir en grey) could join it, and people could wear our clothes. It might be interesting.

J: Like not actually wearing, but just creating an image?

T: Fans could try on the same outfit as Kaoru and stuff..

K: Yeah. Or you could dress up as historical figures, do cosplay. Or you could choose stuff that you've seen models or tv stars wearing. I think this is a brand at the moment, but if they made that kind of website..

J:Ah, it could be interesting, right?

K: Yeh.

J: I mean, its also good that it doesn't create any waste products.

K: There's a lot isn't there?

J: Well, yeh, if clothes don't sell...in the end, if they are part of a collection, they don't sell them off cheaply, they just cut them up and throw them away.

T: Ah, really?

J: Yeh, and there is a lot of stuff made out of cotton, so thats kinda also related to environmental damage. The economy only works if you keep making stuff and selling stuff, but if you don't sell, it becomes waste, and the earth's environment has to take on that burden. But with this website, its purely the design aspect, so there is no burden on the earth.

K: I wonder if they can do this on any type of photo..

J: What do you mean?

K: Like do you have to be standing straight, facing the camera like this, or could you be sitting down, or..?

J: Ah, your pose?

K: Yeh yeh. Its not that cool to post a photo of yourself just standing up straight. This might actually be quite difficult.

J: Yeah.

K: Was Kami going to say something just then?

Kami: Um, I can't choose clothes at all.

K: You just wear half dried out Tshirts? haha.

J: Haha, yeah. There were quite a lot of people who wanted those.

K: Really? Hahaha

J: It's weird! People saying, 'I want one of Kami's half dried out t-shirts'.

Kami: I only buy cheap clothes. Cheap clothes which won't show the dirt. But even so, my shoes are expensive. 

J: Ah, shoes, yeah.

T: What type of shoes do you buy, Kami?

Kami: I buy quite nice shoes. Yes, I do. I mean, I don't really know, though, something around ¥6000.

J: Im not sure if thats cheap or expensive, haha.

K: Yeh, its kinda hard to tell.

J: Yeh, its that ambiguous zone. If it was ¥500 you could say, 'wow, thats cheap!'. But ¥6000 is like, well...'oh, ok..', kinda.

Kami: I pay ¥500 for tshirts.

T: Thats cheap.

J: Kami, do you wanna try this? Making a fashion image like this?

Kami: No way.

J: So icy...haha.

K: Don't you post photos on socia media, Kami?

T: Oh right, yeh.

Kami: Not at all. But I think doing this type of thing is a really good thing. It's like casting the first stone, it said. I like stuff like that.

J: Ahh.

Kami: I think its a good thing, but I wouldn't do it myself.

J: I kinda wanna try checking out this website. To see what its actually like.

K: Yeah, if it looks interesting...

J: Kaoru, you should try it!

K: Me?

J: Yeh.

K: This? Should I do it?

Kami: Ah, thats a good idea.

K: I could try it, and then we could talk about it on here.

J: Yeh, yeh. And I want you to post your images on Instagram to show what its like.

K: Ahh, ok, ok.

Kami: Let me pick something!

K: Eh?

T: Let Kami select the clothes.

K: Kami? Kami selecting? Im scared, haha.

J: I wonder what a guy who only wears smelly tshirts will choose?...Ok, so would it be styling by Kami?

K: Yeh, yeh, yeh.

J: I do want to see that too.

K: Well, it would be interesting.

J: So, you could wear stuff that us three choose for you.

T: It would show our personalities.

J: Let's try it. We could see which one everyone likes best, get peope to like them on Instagram. An Instagram plan.

T: Thats a good idea. But its also scary. What if they press thumbs down a lot.

J: Like, Booo?

T: Yeh.

K: Well, it doesn't matter which, we could aim for booing.

J: Well, yeh. We could even aim for that.

K: Kami will probably be aiming for that.

J: I thinks so, yeh.

Kami: I'll just follow the crowd.

J: Well, we could try it once, and show the results on here.

K: Yep. Well, lets end here for this week. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

[ditch-witches]

Insufferable (i) - George MacKay x reader

(PART 2) (PART 3) (PART 4)

requested: yes/no (im so sorry this took so long holy scheisse, there are so many parts too)

Thank you so much to our first Instagram request! @/okay.l0z I had a lot of fun with this and had to channel Ryan and Hannah's angst to help me.

"Hi! I've been reading your fics and I love them so much bc there's hardly any around. I was wondering if you take insta requests and if so can you do one with George and the reader are like enemies to loves and they have really cute moments but then end up fighting all the time and then it escalates and they end up having sEx and then get together or something bc I will THRIVE IF YOU DO!" ... "Is it bad if I want it long ass?"

also I thought about this like,,, a lot,,,

pairing: George MacKay x reader

warnings: slow-burn introduction bAsIcalLy, I think there are swear words?

word count: 2,629

a/n: There are several things to be addressed...

accuracy to George's life is like 0/100 - scratch that, they have the same hair color

think of this as an AU because idk how else to explain it

it's a slow burn. if you need something that isn't, check the next imagine over and give it a reblog.

You put your chin in your hand and furrowed your brows as you listened to the actors in front of you. The bright stage lights kept you at a suffocatingly hot temperature, but at this point, you didn't mind. What your main concern for the scene was simple: your leading actor was George MacKay. You had spent constant, stressful hours trying to convince the director of the show that he was not the choice, yet when it came down to it, what he said went, and you had to deal with the cleaning up. Today was not like any other. An almost two-hour practice, script work, lighting, etc, were all thrown at the actors still attempting to memorize their lines.

But it was this part, in particular, that was becoming the most difficult. Maybe it was because you were the ghostwriter of the script and the director was trampling on all of your ideas and dreams with a man that you could one-hundred-percent deem an enemy. Your lead character, Charlie, had a soft side to him, despite having an overpowering sense of the dangers of the world and a body to match. George wasn't Charlie. George was one of the lost boys from Peter Pan and that's all you could see him as. He needed to grow up and be a pirate with only two motives: breaking the chains of the dystopian government regime keeping him away from his wife and captaining the deadly sea creature infested waters and getting back to his wife in one piece.

But George's motives seemed to be entirely set on getting into his co-star's pants.

His cocky attitude and facade of charm made you want to rip your hair out. Sure, he took his job seriously and had several esteemed colleagues of yours raving about him, but this role wasn't his. It didn't help that you knew him from primary school, of all places, and once he found out, that's all he could bring up around you.

George rolled his sleeves and dragged a hand through his thick, red hair, the veins in his arm becoming rather predominant as he did so. He was damn near playing footsie with the girl in front of him; their flirty gazes bouncing from each other to the crumpled scripts in their hands. You rolled your eyes, feeling as if your team could see the steam rolling off your shoulders. The director was doing nothing, merely smiling giddily at the two tearing the scene to shreds. "Stop," you took the reins, standing up from your position on stage and tossing your script down. You stepped over to the two and the director didn't move an inch. "What are you doing?" You nipped, crossing your arms and stepping between George and his co-star.

He towered over you by miles; you weren't sure if this made him feel the superiority he exuded, but you always made sure to square your shoulders when you talked to him. "What do you mean? We're practicing," he slyly stated, sending a wink over your head to the girl.

You took the script from his hands, flipping a few pages to the scene they were supposed to be working on. He smirked down at you, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he watched you scan the page. His script was well-loved and worn as if it had been in his back pocket repeatedly, flipped through, folded, torn and taped, highlighted and annotated. You tried not to blush at the notes he had taken as if he had actually cared about his role. Notes such as movements and relative emotions were noted as if they were suggestions. You wet your lips, feeling George's easy-going gaze on you the whole time. "... Charlie, we have to get out of here..." You began, your eyes meeting his deep blue ones.

His face fell into a stern expression, his arms crossing heavily with a furrowed brow. "We've only just got here. I'm shipping out tomorrow. There's no way the Republic-" His Scottish accent was surprisingly thick and consistent. He was settling into Charlie.

"I don't care anymore. I'm tired of sitting idly by and watching you throw yourself away for a debt your brother can't repay." You swore you saw an actual feeling of hurt flash behind his eyes.

He chewed the inside of his cheek. "That debt is just as much mine as it is his. You're asking me to uproot and leave him, you know? I can't leave him."

"You'll die. You'll end up like the rest of the mariners haunting their wives for the rest of eternity. You're a slave." George took a few steps to stand in front of you, he was close enough that you could smell his cologne now: a sweet mix of sandalwood with hints of lavender. He smelled like a summer day spent at a cabin in the middle of a meadow. You hated it, but you wanted to bury yourself in his chest and bask in his scent for the remainder of your days.

He rested a hand on your neck, angling your face towards him as he whispered, "Look at me..." You attempted to ignore the beating of your heart in your ears and the sweat that began to spread across your back. "I'm free. I'm choosing this debt because, without it, he would die. He's the last piece of my father I have left."

You reached for his hand, covering it with your own. "What about me, Charlie? I'm here now. I'm flesh and blood in front of you. What about our child?"

"He'll be here when I get back." He pushed away from you, turning his back on you and settling his hands on his hips. "I'm not changing my mind." He looked over his shoulder at you. "Eden, I have to do this." You closed the script with a raised eyebrow, hiding how impressed you were that he actually knew his lines. The emotion he was conveying was nothing like how he had previously let on. You walked towards him and he turned back around. You pressed the script back into his hands and gave him a small glare.

"Practice how you play. I'm done with wasting time," you said more to the group than just him. The rest of the cast members weren't as proficient in hiding their amusement back as you were. The last thing George needed was another inflate to his ego. You went back to your spot, grabbing your clipboard and flipping over a few pages. The group began to gather around you slightly. "I need Eden and Charlie in with wardrobe now, the rest of you keep practicing your lines. I'll want to hear dialogue from Dane and Jack tomorrow. Give me another forty or so minutes and we'll call it?" The director nodded from the first row of seats. The crowd dispersed but George swam against the current of thespians, approaching you again.

He gave you one of his charming smiles. Be professional, you thought. "I was just wondering how that sounded to you?"

You thought for a moment, drawing the clipboard to your chest. "Yeah, it was good. Your accent's a bit dodgy, but the emotion is good. Why don't we see that during actual rehearsals?" You tilted your head at him and he looked at his shoes slightly, tucking his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Was he pretending to be humble?

"I don't know. I guess I like you more as Eden," he jeered, causing you to roll your eyes and he smiled wider.

"You're insufferable," you muttered, walking past him.

He chuckled. "Don't worry, I'll grow on you."

You scoffed slightly. "Go get fitted for suspenders and leave me alone, MacKay."

The next few days were full of constant rehearsals both in costume and script memorization. You had to admit that for some reason this show had you wrapped in a bundle of tension and anxiety. George slowly tore away at your nerves, becoming his own mess of anger and frustration as he picked up more and more on the fact that you weren't going to take his shit. You were serious about this job and you were serious about this play. His humor had diminished as it had gotten closer and closer to opening night and you weren't surprised when he would snap back at you for making an adjustment to his tone or a note on the delivery of a line.

"Stop being such a bitch!" He groaned, tugging at his hair as you crossed your arms.

"Calm down, primadonna! All I'm saying is quit pacing! Charlie isn't pacing! Where in the script does it say he's pacing-"

"THAT'S RIDICULOUS. IT DOESN'T MATTER." He moved to stand in front of you, his teeth gritting slightly. This was what your discussion had grown into, one hissy fit flaring up the other.

"FUCK, YOU'RE RIGHT. I TOTALLY FORGOT YOU WERE THE ONE IN CHARGE, MR. MACKAY. SHOULD I JUST SUCK YOUR DICK RIGHT NOW SINCE WE'RE ALREADY ADDING IN UNNECESSARY ACTION," you would bite back causing him to glare up at the ceiling with his jaw clenching in a sarcastic smile. He wore your patience thinner than tulle. And you were hoping to be doing the same to him.

On the eve of opening night, a storm broke out over the city. You hadn't received word from your ride at all---a man you had been seeing on and off for a while, but still managed to keep him at enough distance that the two of you weren't official. You glared at your watch, deciding to say fuck it and just walk the five or so miles it was to your apartment. Your rain jacket was already soaked, your umbrella proving to be no help whatsoever. But you persevered knowing full-well that if your character, Eden, were in the situation, she wouldn't have batted an eye before dropping him and his lack of communication. As the water soaked into your boots and chilled you rather quickly, you bit your tongue, regretting not waiting for the bus. Cars past you at rushed paces, wanting to get home to their loved ones if the rain worsened---you figured.

Your heart began to pound as a car pulled up beside you, causing you to wrap your hand around the bottle of mace in your coat pocket. The window rolled down, but you kept walking. "Do you need a ride?" Hollered an almost too familiar voice.

You crossed your arms and continued to walk. "No!" You called back.

The car rolled forward and you heard the driver door open. George stepped out slightly, drawing his jacket up to fight against the biting wind. "Come on! Look at this weather!"

"I'm good! Go home, George!"

He tilted his head at you with a deadpan expression. "Don't make me throw you over my shoulder." You furrowed your brows and rolled your eyes, sliding into the passenger seat of his car and taking down your hood. George watched as you did this. He slipped off his jacket. "Here." He pulled his hoodie over his head. "Take your shirt off. You'll get hypothermia."

"Excuse me?" You nipped.

It was his turn to roll his eyes. "I won't look. You're soaked. Take my damn hoodie." You looked out the front window and then let out a huff. You peeled off your upper layer, no longer giving a fuck if George saw you in your bra. You looked over to him while he leaned his arm against his door, his cheek resting against his fist as he held his hoodie out to you. You pulled the garment over your head and couldn't help but snuggle into it. It was oversized and warm, smelling just like George. Your cold skin seemed to sigh against the soft material and you felt tears prickling at the corners of your eyes at how content you were. George put the car into drive after he had made sure you were taken care of. You slipped your hands into the long sleeves and fought not to dig your nose into the neckline to breathe him in. His scent was like kryptonite to you and you hated it. "Are you hungry?" He asked, looking at you briefly and flipping the heat more to your side. He smiled almost proudly to himself at the sight of you enjoying his hoodie and the safety of his car.

You quickly braided your hair, attempting to combat the wet feeling of it against your neck. "No, I'm fine thanks."

"Come on. My treat? I've been a dick to you all week."

"Fine..." You mumbled. He found a nook of a restaurant jabbed into a part of London you had yet to explore. The rain had finally let up to a drizzle as the two of you made your way inside the softly lit eatery. The two of you tucked into a booth and ordered almost instantly, you now realizing just how hungry you actually were. "What were you doing in that part of town so late?" You finally asked after they brought out a hot tea for him and topped off your coffee. His large hands cradled the steaming mug in front of him, his nose slightly red from the chilly weather outside.

He chuckled slightly. "I forgot my script in the theatre and---for some reason---couldn't stop thinking about it." You nodded hesitantly. "Why were you walking home?"

You shrugged nonchalantly. "Such beautiful weather we're having. Thought I would take an evening stroll," you joked, causing him to chuckle lightly. George's face seemed to glow slightly under the cozy lights of the restaurant, his hair slightly disheveled and damp from the rain. You now got a full sight of the t-shirt he was wearing that commemorated a football team from the graduating year ahead of yours.

There was a beat of silence between you two. "Why..." George tugged his bottom lip between his teeth, attempting to find the right words. You furrowed your brows. "Why do you hate me so much?" If you weren't looking at him, you would have sworn he was smiling behind his question.

"Seriously?"

He nodded. "Seriously."

"You dated my best friend, Sophie, and broke her heart," you answered bluntly.

George sent you a puzzled expression for half a second before grinning slightly. "Yeah, but I was ten."

"Yeah, but now she's twenty-one and we still talk about it," you quipped, taking a sip of your coffee.

He exhaled. "I was... I was ten..." He furrowed his brows. "She was pretty. Hasn't some other guy broken up with her since me?"

You shrugged again. "No, she has this mindset where if she starts getting the feeling that things aren't working, she cuts out."

"She's been dwelling over me for how many years?" He couldn't fight the grin threatening to creep across his face.

You bit the inside of your cheek in thought. "I guess that would be twelve years." He whistled. "We're good at keeping grudges."

"Well, if I ever run into her, I'll apologize." He added a lump of sugar to his tea. "Is that the only reason?"

You debated ripping him a new one, but the tiredness you felt reflected in his eyes. "It's the kick-off point. Why? Do you wanna be buddies now?" You joked, sticking your spoon in your mouth.

He rested his hand in his chin. "Nah," he pursed his lips in thought. You furrowed your eyebrows at his answer, letting a titter escape your lips. "You're too young for me." You laughed a bit harder.

"Age is just a number, baby," you hummed and he smirked at you, a sparkle in his eye.

Comment if you would like to be tagged in the next part! Let us know what you think!

[myherogroundzero]

i swear im alive

so like, i just want to say a (not-so) quick apology for dropping off the face of the earth. im struggling an inexplicable amount with myself. i’ve become painfully aware of the fact that im a maladaptive daydreamer and it’s honestly become such a problem. i’ve been this way for years and i never really saw a problem with it ?

but there is a problem with it. my mom asked me to help her with dinner and to do the dishes, which is literally fine. but i was so fucking angry bro. i needed music, i needed to rock, i needed to daydream. and she was taking that away from me. i’ve found that being this way is what stimulates my inspiration for writing. it’s how i come up with scenarios and such (even tho my stories arent that great LMAO.)

i’ve tried to utilise this issue productively, i’ve tried to better myself in an art i have loved since i was young (i.e. writing.) i imagine i get better with every word i write, but i can’t live my life. i can’t paint my room until i tape it off so we dont get paint on the baseboards, but i literally cannot bring myself to do it. i’ve tried. i have sat there and i was like “you gotta do it. just do it, then you can daydream afterwards like the fuckhead you are.” but i can’t

i mean obviously i CAN, but i can’t. that makes no sense. honestly guys im just so bothered by this. it’s gotten to a point where i will cry because i can’t control it. i feel so bad that im so unkind to the people around me simply because they’re taking time from me daydreaming. it’s not fair to them, and it isnt fair to me. i’ve spent almost 17 years (thats an exaggeration, its more like 11 or 12 years but thats basically most of my life where i could think for myself) of my life dreaming of nothing more than living and having a life full of adventure that i never got out to find the adventure.

i’ve wasted years of my life barely existing in this world so i could live in another. i’ve tried quitting instagram and tumblr and twitter and all of the things that help fuel my meticulous, life-stealing dreams, but nothing works.

i’ve reached the realisation that i have no clue who i even am. so many years of me living a separate life in my head and being everything i could ever want to be that i forgot to actually discover who i am in real life.

this has become a rant and a way for me to just spill my bottled up emotions onto you guys who probably don’t necessarily care, but if you’ve read this far, thank you. i’m trying. i want to write again, but i get interested in other things like books and games and movies that i forget i also have an account for fanfiction and theres people who want me to write things.

but yeah, in short, this is my lame excuse as to why i haven’t been on. sorry if there’s anyone who enjoys my writing and didn’t have anything else to read. i love u guys, especially the ones who show so much love and support on my work. i hope i can overcome my dumb brain and get better as a writer and make things worth ur time 🥺✌️

ok im gonna shut the fuck up now. i’ll try writing more. i might turn this account into something more than just BNHA so i can share all my love for all my fandoms w u guys 😳👀

i hope you have such an amazing day today that you can’t wait to wake up tomorrow 😌✨💫

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

athenas or the new ign videos... hmmm

im gonna go for the ign videos (moze gameplay and sanctuary-iii, no guns yet, i have a reason for that) because athenas hasn’t gotten its sweet instagram video yet. once that’s released i’ll do a full post on it. by the time i got around to finishing this post, they had released the video. oh boy... gonna do the gun post then the athenas post, i think. alright, off we go.

tl;dr: we read the entire end user agreement DAHL thrusts upon us for using the ECHO device, talk about some stuff like how (spoilers) it seems like Lilith will be getting her powers back at the end of the game, and a voice line Lily says that sounds like “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like Tannis said: [inaudible] Siren” (altho im not 100% sure on the [inaudible] part because 1) it sounds weird and 2) there’s a drum beat and also the devs are talking over her, the Siren part seems fairly accurate because of the way her mouth moves). so you know. im gonna be agonizing over that until i can hear what she says. ive already spent an hour just repeating it over and over. i nearly fell asleep lol

we’re gonna start with the moze gameplay (the first 14 minutes of bl3) because chronologically it’s first in both timeline and release date

i love the license plates on the right there

also it looks like they added in claptrap’s old welcome sign from windshear waste! time to stand in front of it for 30 minutes to see if any messages pop up like bl2

fast travel station as well, definitely going to see if/where i can teleport and going there immediately. i imagine this is more for DLC stuff and grinding tho.

also! i do believe we saw Covenant Pass previously. good to know this is actually where it is!

Marcus saying “And Welcome to Pandora!” in the beginning confirms that, yes, they’re going to be on a bus!! i wonder if there will be a fight scene before that though. it’s interesting Clappy mentions that “those jerks who tried to murder you are the children of the vault!” so i mean... there’s gotta be... right?

im also convinced this intro is going to be a mirror of Borderlands 1. i stg if it starts out with the first few notes of Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked and then swaps songs I’m going to lose my mind

also also, the order is totally going to mimic the bl1 one. Fl4k = Mordecai, Amara = Lilith, Moze = Roland, Zane = Brick. We even have Lilith taking Angel’s spot as the mysterious voice in our heads, and probably Marcus driving, AND being dropped off at a bus stop.

bet the reason they changed it from ‘Moze as the Bot Jock’ to ‘Moze as the Gunner’ is because it fits under ‘Roland as the Soldier’ better. Also, ‘Zane Flynt as Himselfs’ would be a play off ‘Brick as Himself’. Amara as the Siren is obvious, and ‘Mordecai as the Hunter’ vs ‘Fl4k as the Beastmaster’ is pretty similar as well, given Fl4k has all those Hunter skills.

the 4 basic emotes im guessing. im so glad we have the option to boop our friends in the face with emotes.

also moze’s little bunny skin is adorable

the ECHOnet used to be called “Riftspace”, “the Spline”, and... “MercTel: A Cyber-Dahl Joint” lmfao

specifically calls out Pandora. also, “artificial megastructures”??? THAT’S SO COOL

AND FUCKING

SENTIENT MEGASTRUCTURES???? 

gearbox. please. i have never ever wanted anything more in my life. please. it’s probably my birthday. PLEASE GEARBOX

also interesting that the user agreement specifically notes ‘Respawns’. I assume this is a joke because New-U stations have been confirmed not canon

“Core law”. Core law? Core... daddy? ... ????

core as in like a core government somewhere that’s not the border worlds? that’s interesting...

“The Legion”, okay, acknowledging TPS, that’s dope

“Project Blackrakk” ... im interested

“Thresher Company” lmao

im curious if Axton was apart of any of the mentioned ones. i don’t think it’s been stated, but i could be wrong

“Chieftain Oort”. also ‘Recently Legless Gary’, lmfao poor dude.

oh yeah im sure this is fine. also holy shit did they google the synonyms for ‘change’ and just start listing them? lmfao

“implicit subscription to the Digby Vermouth ‘Dig’s Gigs’ secret concert subscription service” 

sorry, what?

if this doesn’t come up again in the future- if we don’t get a spam letter or 3 in our mailbox about this concert subscription thing i'm gonna be so disappointed

Dahl hates you if you’re not a fan of hyper-jazz, “you snob” lmfao

my brain hurts, they’re good at writing these 

damn phones exist? i thought everything was ECHO. aight, that’s good to know. i guess there just aren’t any phone networks around the border worlds

also “shared dreamspaces” sound really cool

hm. that’s no good lmfao. also i love that the buttons are ‘Agree’ and ‘OK’. there is no escape, once you agree, you can’t even leave because you’re agreeing that you’re trapped with these rules even if you cancel.

that’s fucked up, DAHL. can’t believe you treat your user base the same way you treat your employees. i guess i shouldn’t be surprised.

anyway, shoutout to literally the only TOA I’ve ever fully read in my life.

also, clicking through this TOA too fast WILL end claptrap’s voice line early. so be careful if you want to hear what he has to say!!

oh shit lmao I gotta go edit that Fl4k post

ok im back ~time magic of being able to save things in drafts and post them at a later date~

sliding preserves momentum, so you can actually slide (nearly) the entire way down! i love this.

small, but claptrap bends his antennae when trying to be stealthy. i thought that was a pretty cool detail

“and some guns include an alternate shooting mode~! try it out!”

player: `immediately shoots claptrap in the face`

i died lol

a very nice look at this sign.

good to know that the twins really are tempting people to join with promises of food. i mean it makes sense, i imagine most of the cultists are desperate for stability and a reasonable life on pandora.

also, Shiv calls himself “holy influencer of the children of the vault” lol. i love that. gearbox really is going for the internet’s throat, isn’t it?

i do like that hovering over an NPC will give you their name only and not name/healthbar.

a better look at one of the signs referencing the Mother!!! i was waiting for this, the only real look we got at one was in that one scene with Moze and IB

“Behold the Mother strength surrender to the truth” 

yeah that’s not ominous...

i assume the mother and father are intended to be tyreen and troy? but idk how i feel about that implication...

i like the new little gear/spring effect for the magnet lol

new lilith! i know a lot of people don’t like it, but i do. she looks better than the bl2 vers. altho i think it’s weird they swapped both bl1 and bl2′s ‘AI’ effect to those dots and then didn’t bring it to BL3. the dots effect felt cleaner. curious why they’re not applying it to bl3 when they went thru all that effort in 1 and 2.

... back up please.

i like that there is a changing icon for long pressing now

“time to check out our slay of the day!” sounds like Tyreen but tbh i legit thought this was moze’s reaction to opening the chest at first lol 

you can hear someone start screaming in agony while she’s walking up the stairs, so i know it’s not moze, but im so used to the VHs talking when they see a new piece of loot my brain just assumed.

also THE MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND IS A REMIX OF BANDIT SLAUGHTER!!! IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS I WAS FREAKING OUT THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT

also, claptrap when dropping health yells “this could save your life! then, you’ll owe me a life debt!” bullshit im pretty sure you already decided we owed you a life debt the moment we stepped off that bus

“i see it... the great vault” - a line from a cultist you kill

i know i mentioned in this post that the Great Vault may be already opened, but it could also just be a Vault they’re planning on opening and using the propaganda to convince the cultists to help them find it. 

“if you help us get this vault open, you’ll be handsomely rewarded! you’ll get superpowers! you’ll get regular meals! you’ll get money and guns and dates!” you know, the usual stuff. 

either way, elevating the Vault to a higher state (god/heaven/whatever) makes sense if you’re running a cult.

btw there is a hidden chest in the scaffolding to the left of the door, if you’re interested in grabbing some better guns before shiv. personally, i’ll be using the toy guns.

also the TVs are actually playing propaganda now!!

this one is asking questions that i cant understand due to the sound effects of the chest and claptrap talking, but it says something about “... the dust? ... join the Children of the Vault!”

“hey shiiiiiv all your dumb friends are dead!!”

shiv be like

“all my friends are dead”

some cool level-up art! I notice these are the same pictures as used on the japanese site. i wonder if they change depending on which VH you’ve picked (If you’re playing Amara/Fl4k, do you get pics of Amara and Fl4k? the player is playing moze, afterall).

also also “it’s a KIA on the knife wielding maniac. suuuper dead.” 

it’s cool that the VHs have specific lines for the deaths of bosses. i hope that continues and it’s not just a ‘15 min of intro gameplay’ thing. you know, where everything is super detailed in the beginning and then slowly gets less and less as the game progresses? anyway, moze’s little chuckle is fuckin adorable lol

ah. the door closes now so you can’t even explore Shiv’s room before Lilith shows up. gearbox plS you know me too well, i was looking for a g l i m p s e

claptrap’s voice line for getting released is SUPER off time, he hits the ground before going “you did it! i’m sa-ahhhhhhhh!” it’s weird, wondering if that’s just a glitch.

also also we get a nice listen to the revive ally sound. i could’ve sworn it wasn’t in the first look at this mission we got, because i heard it for the first time during the coop Zane/Amara gameplay on Promethea. i might be wrong, tho.

im very curious what these symbols are claptrap is beaming up

i mean you know what im gonna say

they look eridian

and they do

so wtf clappy why u beaming up eridian letters to Lilith

i assume maybe Tannis gave clappy some weird upgrade or something so he could communicate with the crimson raiders without the CoV listening in? it could be that Tannis or someone is decoding this message since Tannis does know how to translate Eridian (as shown in her bl1 ECHOs)

... or at the very least she gave Lilith a translator

the darkening makes it so that you can see the crackening. also this COULD just be a beam that lilith can see from wherever she is, but i want to believe there’s more eridian stuff. bc eridian stuff is fun.

this is so fu cking crisp im dying i love it

lilith’s tattoos spreading down her fingers

same symbol as her chest tattoo. maybe the symbol denotes new powers? like how lily has one on her chest for phasewalking, and a new one on her hand for teleportation

i love how her wings look like actual fire. i fucking love this

lilith is looking so fucking good in the new engine

im glad they got rid of her super red eyes, tbh it looked a bit weird

i think they are really pushing her fire affinity, im sure we’ll see Maya has an elemental affinity as well (im calling corrosive) and im sure Tyreen will too (slag). Amara looks to be Shock because that’s her ‘default’, but who knows until (if) bl4 comes out. but corrosive wings on maya would look SOOO fucking cool. please. please please please.

god she looks so good compared to bl2. i love how the tattoos softly glow in the dark, too. i gotta play this mission late in the day...

“you’re... the voice in my head, right?” i love this so much, i really hope my shitpost comes true.

lilith gives you a grenade mod for completing her mission! im really glad they are PUSHING through the tutorial/intro so you can get right into the game. bl2′s ‘intro’ of all these tutorials was brutal. especially waiting to unlock your action skill.

in 3 you get your action skill automatically at level 2!!! which is insane, i love it! they’re jumping right into it, it’s great. and they seem to be pushing for you to get all the stuff you need right away. 

it’s curious to note that in bl3 we get our class mods at the end of the Promethea demo (after Gigamind), since in bl2 you get your first (usually?) after the hunting the firehawk mission and both seem to take place immediately after we get to the ‘base of operations’ of the game (Sanctuary vs Sanctuary-III).

yep that quest is 100% in line with the quest marker. 

i imagine From the Ground Up may be discovering where the Vault Map/Key actually is? maybe bringing people to the Recruitment Center (notably Tannis)

for this scene. i hope this takes place after the HBC, because i seriously... can’t imagine the twins showing up, taking the Vault Map, bringing it to the HBC, and then NOT taking Lilith’s powers/trying to kill Lily and accidentally taking her powers. it just doesn’t make sense, Vault Hunters be damned, we are level 2 they could melt us easy peasy. 

If anything, it feels like we COULD find the Vault Map in the Recruitment Center, Tannis tries to activate it/fix it, we find out it’s mega broke, and then the Sun Smashers show up and take it. but i seriously can’t imagine Lilith nor the new VHs allowing that to happen while they’re still there. maybe if Tannis sends us to do something while Lilith is gathering other CR members? then it could make sense if they attack while Tannis is alone with the Key...

OR

we end up finding something in Shiv’s room that shows/helps us realize the Sun Smashers bringing the Vault Map to the Calypsos. tho this would mean the quest From the Ground Up is SUPER short and I imagine it’s not. Maybe we raid a camp of theirs like the one in front of Sanc-III with the bridge/ramp? We need to be about level 6 before we go and we start From the Ground Up at 2 so there’s obviously something DEEP we’re missing here. maybe this is a mission where we go gather the other Crimson Raiders? HMMMMMMMM...

.... oh.

nevermind lmfao

she opens her ECHO immediately after this LOL i feel kinda dumb now

raiding their camp it is! the Droughts sounds like a fun location. Very much like the dust. you guys think there’s a Shade situation going on there? i’m excited to see it. Still think we’re going to use Shiv’s room to get that lead, though. i just really wanna watch tv lmfao. i hope this means the bandits run from the camp to the HBC, or we find info that the bandit warchief sent a party to the HBC with the Vault Map. either way, i just don’t want the twins showing up until after the HBC or i will have so many questions. “why didn’t you kill lilith?” being the first. “the god queen wants her head!” ur goddamn right she does, so why doesn’t she (try to) kill lilith???

85% already?! hot damn

also

that’s one badass description there, Moze

also also

while having gun slots locked is pretty normal, im surprised they’re locking class mods and relics, too! i wonder when we’ll be able to equip relics. maybe when we first go to eden-6 or smth. or maybe after we meet up with Rhys. shit maybe he’s just handing us an artifact (im gonna interchange these a lot, sorry!) in that Promethea video lmfao

“ready to chuck some boom and frag some maniacs” lol moze i love you

if you’re playing Zane... `equips grenade mod for checkmark` `immediately equips second action skill and never actually uses grenade mod`

“it’s the firehawk! the god queen wants her head!” 

like i alluded to before, i would not be surprised if Tyreen doesn’t know she can absorb Siren powers... when she goes to succ lilith in front of Sanctuary-III, it’s totally possible she actually was trying to kill her. That could explain why she looks so intrigued at her hand like “oh shit okay lets see what this can do”

might be why she was okay with sending her cultists after her instead of showing up herself.

“alright, we got a foothold. maybe things are turning our way. come on killer, you’re with me” we are going to explore the SHIT out of shiv’s room.

alright alright alright

let’s move on to the Sanctuary-III stuff

yessss

i love the quest objective thing, it looks like we will be able to swap through our quests with the push of a button! also im curious why exactly we’re going to promethea right away. i wonder if the twins say something about moving there after getting the vault map/lilith’s powers, or if we hear from rhys. im expecting something about the vault map, since our vh will admit they don’t know rhys at all when talking to lorelei. but for some reason we need to be within the city limits? since lily says ellie got us within the city limits. 

hmmmmmm. okay, okay, maybe the map was trying to lead us to promethea for vault reasons during that short amount of time that we had it and it was working. maybe promethea is what we see when tannis is activating the key during that one cutscene? ohhh shit how dope would it be if we got that fucking easter egg message? omg “Children of the Vault. Come to Promethea. We are not on Pandora anymore. Tannis is not what she seems. Do not open the Vaults.” and everyone is like ‘uh did that thing just mention Tannis by name??’ and now it’s REALLY important to get the map back just so we can figure out wtf it’s trying to tell us. 

i will question how ‘Tannis is not what she seems’ would affect character relationships, especially if it’s said so early in the game. so perhaps we only hear the first part of the message. maybe it’s corrupted because it was recently broken. iunno. just playing around with ideas. the canon of this game is like flarp putty until sept. 13th

anyway moving on because this is literally the first f r a m e of the video

i like that you can see pandora’s eridian scar. if the destroyer is speaking through eridium to people, it’s gonna bust outta the side of this planet like you wouldn’t fucking believe lmao. eridium is a window to the soul and if you stare long enough into its glossy, shining sides, the destroyer stares back

that or it’s just like a beacon, slowly spreading its influence across the universe. but i like the idea that the destroyer can waltz out of a big enough hunk of eridium. so it will bust out of pandora’s eridium scar. F in chat for pandora but also lmfao the amount of tentacles and rage would be unparalleled.

reality is that the twins are probably farming this scar for eridium to turn into slag for multiple purposes. like brainwashing their cultists, giving them powers, and ensuring their guns have their manufacturer’s quirk (im getting to this in my next post bc im just gonna compile all the ign gun videos into one big post)

the floor art is different from the actual sanc-iii demo. i mention this first in my behind closed doors panel analysis, but im gonna mention it again because this is ~official~. the floor list on the first walkthru of sanc-iii we got had the names of all the crimson raiders and lines leading to their shops. so we had the infirmary/tannis, marcus, moxxi, etc listed on the floor. i imagine this new sanc-iii will change as we get more people on board or if we do a sort of re-decoration of the ship.

also also, it’s cool to see that we have 4 rooms on the minimap, likely one for each of the VHs (and your coop buddies). ive seen speculation that the other, non-played VHs will hang out in their rooms when you’re not playing them, and tbh i really hope this is the case.

we also know this version of sanctuary-iii is after pandora, so there are no promethea citizens aboard yet. which makes me double certain the first sanc-iii video we got takes place either after endgame (explaining why Lily has her tattoos back) or right after Athenas (explaining why Maya is there). which... i mean... spoilers, guys. 

that’s one good lookin fast travel station, holy shit

im in tears over here because “Caution: no steppy”. this is so fucking funny to me

no steppy on me

okay moving on because i will cry laugh over this for forever im allowed

moze’s room is so much different than amara’s

also i notice she’s on the left of the two on the top, which makes me hope the other 4 are reserved for the other VHs (or your coop buddy).

compared to the official sanc-iii demo video

and amara’s room

moze’s is so barren oh my god

someone get this girl like... a colorful throw pillow or something

baaank. also doubles as the secret stash. kinda upsetting, because that is infinitely less loot i can store when i make a lot of characters. also if i upgrade the bank once, is it upgraded across all my other characters too? or are the guns i put in storage slot 11 locked up until i buy the upgrade?

either way, i am saddened because no more mule characters. and way less space the more characters you make and more gear you find, because all gear you put in here is there across all characters. i hope this means our backpacks will be a lot bigger this time around!

supamax mfg shows up again

ppm/04-02 matches up with the number behind the fast travel station. i wonder if this will come into play. if the number changes later in-game im going to freak the fuck out bc that means wherever we are isn’t actually sanctuary-iii

ppm/04-02. remember that 👀

also, the wall behind the golden chest changed from red to steel/greenish. can’t tell the actual color. same as the floor

you know. that color.

“golden keys are popular. you can get some in-game and also get them online”

in-game you say??? im interested! i wonder if there will be some sort of arena (like moxxi’s) where if you complete it you get a key as a reward. i saw people speculating about some sort of randomized boss rush, that could definitely be a way to get gold keys, as well.

oooo engine room! im excited to explore here.

original size is 16. so, we have 40 backpack slots! still... you know... only 1 above the max of bl2, but hey. at least that’s an upgrade. as small as it may be

on the bright side: bank upgrades increase capacity by 5. with a base of 10, and 8 upgrades, we have 50 slots to fill. which is a big leap from the original 24. it is still a shame we have to share these across characters, tho

offline cultist stream? makes me think the CoV really was trying to steal/take over sanc-iii from the crimson raiders and we went to go take it (back?) in Taking Flight. either the CoV found/ordered Sanc-III, or the crimson raiders were building it/fixing it up, their stronghold got taken over, and the CoV were prepping it for takeover.

the shooting range. and if you notice that little CoV symbol in the bottom left there? yeah pretty much backs up my previous theory

all those red bits are tied to ellie’s crew challenge. so we’ll be collecting things for her!

an altar for scooter 😢

“we’re gonna get those cultism sumbitches, believe you me”

where you get yeeted out of Sanc-III. im definitely going to try jumping in it to see if it kills me. doesn’t look like the drop pods are available yet

that’s not clappy, pretty sure he’s hanging out on the bridge right now

schematics for veronica

the thing i was most excited about in this video!

loooots of customizations! which excites me because i know eridium used to get useless late game when you’ve grinded all the raid bosses. it looks like eridum is going to be in ultra high demand. but u can bet ur ass im gonna be unlocking all those fucking customizations asap.

veteran rewards is also super super interesting

hgggggg i wanna know what the shields do!!! 

i like the vault symbol at the top of the item card as well, shows you its a special type of weapon/item. im honestly surprised we’re able to buy ‘veteran rewards’ so early in the game? i mean obvi we won’t have enough eridium (look at the costs!) but it’s wild it’s even accessible. im personally a fan of the first bonus ‘anointed: gain life steal on action skill end’

looks like these guns have been chosen

to give them those special bonuses

i do see that just anointed is not class specific, but the ones that say anointed gunner or maybe anointed siren will be (confirmed by the devs in video).

you pay with eridium, so maybe the vending machine has some way to confer the power of eridium to the guns. or some shit. iunno. it’s possible this won’t be available until the end of the game, hence veteran rewards, and is only being shown to us right now since this is a showcasing video.

pandoran civilian. no promethea civilians today folks! i am CONVINCED that the old sanc-iii demo takes place after the end of the game. at least after athenas.

it’s weird seeing moxxi hanging outside her bar.

is also cool to know that the 4 slot machines are actually available. seems like npcs can play them, but we can use all 4 if we want to. which is really nice

the one on the far left is called the ‘loot boxxer’ and it gives mostly guns lol. i see they are taking jabs. good for them

better pic of the leftmost machines

Zer0 seems to have a bounty board? not sure if this is like a physical bounty board or if they will contact you when they want something dead, but it is cool to note. this isn’t shown in video, just the devs speaking about it.

similarly hammerlock has ‘big game hunts’ where you find “rare, challenging creatures” and kill them for him

apparently we’ll be killing something known as a manvark

this book

i fucking recognize this book

HAMMERLOCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

in all seriousness tho

hammerlock probably isn’t in his room because we haven’t rescued him from eden-6 yet.

a cool thing about the crew challenges: as you progress through the game and do these challenges, sanc-iii will ‘grow and change to reflect the things you’ve accomplished’. altho another dev says “sometimes these are optional things, like challenges” 

so now im like oh shit we’re gonna change sanc-iii as we play the game. i wonder if that means we’ll be changing the hull, too. because you know. the blue paint job. we gotta go STEALTH. sneaky beaky into the calypsos fleety

tannis doesn’t have the saurian on her table. also, interesting note, she DOES have the eridian log in the corner. meaning she must have had that before eden-6. interesting... maybe we’ll find more on Pandora.

she is still covered in blood tho. idk i don’t have an explanation for that. don’t think i want to think of one, to be quite honest.

oh no. (those are skulls next to all the gurneys)

“tannis plays a much bigger role in bl3 than she has in past games”. bigger than borderlands 1? that is... impressive. she’ll be running the health vending machines (which is weird bc i could’ve sworn in the promethea demo, zed was still running them... hm.)

another angle of sanc-iii

clappy? you good there?

the devs said they’re using him to plug a hole. i assume the calypsos shot at the ship as we’re leaving or smth.

lily with no tattoos, who also looks significantly more pissed than her other sanc-iii demo counterpart

you know. because she got her tattoos.

also

fucking

lilith says something right here. all i can make out is “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like tannis said. ..... [inaudible] Siren.” maybe some weird word i haven’t heard before? i swear she’s saying ‘like tannis said: a ‘m...’ Siren” but i am not 100% sure. if someone could help me out, that’d be rad.

so its sounding like lilith rushed in with explicit warning from tannis about tyreen stealing her powers, and tannis knew tyreen was some sort of Siren and warned lily, but lily didn’t listen. it could also be that lily is saying something like “im not a siren” but i can’t really hear it if she is. it sounds like she saying a word that starts with m to me. if someone could help me with this i’d owe you my life

whew. i am. fucking TIRED.

im gonna sleep for like 3 hours and then wake up and make food before the fl4k streams start.

[acuppellarp]

We’re excited to announce that Leigh has decided to level up Lola Alvarez from a mumu minor character to a main character! Please go through the checklist to make sure you’re ready to go and send in your account within the next 24 hours. 

OOC INFO

Name + pronouns: Leigh, she/her Age: 26 Timezone: EST Ships: Lola/Chemistry Anti-Ships: Lola/No Chemistry

IC INFO

Full Name: Louisa Cristina “Lola” Alvarez Face Claim: Lauren Jauregui Age/Birthday: April 11th (Aries mood), 24 Occupation: Model/make-up artist/burlesque dancer/photographer Personality: enigmatic, magnetic, confident, lonely, passionate Hometown: Brooklyn, NY Bio:

[DEATH TW]

Louisa doesn’t talk about her birth parents, simply because there’s nothing to talk about. Her father, she can assume, was never really in the picture, and her mother left her on the stoop of a fire department in the 99th precinct of New York City, so it’s not as if she cared. Louisa rarely thinks about her birth parents, if at all. The truth was, Consuelo Migdas was sixteen when she gave birth to Louisa, and wasn’t ready to have a family. She had hoped that by putting her daughter up for adoption, she’d be put into a good home.

It took twelve years for Louisa to be adopted. Twelve years for the world to show Louisa its cold nature. By the time she turned ten, Louisa had been carted to four different foster homes. Every time it looked like there was a promise of someone wanting to take her home, she ended up being returned like a blouse that didn’t fit quite right. Louisa quickly began losing hope that anybody would keep her for good. She’d be stuck in the foster system until she was eighteen years old, and then she’d become a ward of the state. She’d have to fend for herself in the extremely cruel city of New York.

If you asked her now, she’d tell you that it could have been much worse, but that’s very much in line with Louisa’s character. She’s not dramatic in that way. She’ll downplay anything to make you think she hasn’t suffered, she’s perfectly fine. But truthfully? Not having the unconditional love of a family had more of an impact on her than she’d ever care to admit. Louisa was awful in school– on the days she came in and wasn’t starving, she found that it was tough for her to concentrate. Numbers and words didn’t make sense. Once, as a Christmas gift, she was given a book from one of her teachers: Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott. Louisa loved that they had the same name, and she loved the idea of growing up with four sisters who loved her and a mother who would do anything for her. All she wanted was a stable, consistent life.

Louisa found that she loved art from the very beginning, and would lose herself in drawings. She loved to play dress up.  She liked to take things, too. It started small, like a pack of gum or a candy bar. Nobody was any the wiser, and Louisa would never steal from the same place twice. She would steal art supplies from her school and only got caught once. Crying, she explained to her teacher that she only wanted to be able to draw at home. Three days later, she was gifted a beautiful set of over a hundred colored pencils. Every hue and shade Louisa could possibly imagine was in that set. She saved the nubs of those pencils and strung them together to make a necklace. It serves as a reminder for her– how far she’s come, and how much farther she has to go.

Things changed rapidly for the better when Mimi adopted her. At least, that’s how she introduced herself to Louisa: “I’m going to be your Mimi and we’re going to be very happy together.” It took Louisa a solid three months to believe her. If she could last longer than three months, that would be all. But Mimi showed her a home that was full of love, and a place where she was accepted. She had dinner every night, she had a quiet, cozy place to read her favorite book, and Mimi made sure she did all of her homework instead of roaming the streets.

It was when she was thirteen that she started going by Lola, if only because that’s what Mimi called her. When she asked why, Mimi would start singing the song from Damn Yankees– whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. And honestly, Lola wasn’t used to being spoiled. She wasn’t used to someone loving her. She wasn’t used to a real home.

When she applied to FIT, she put the design on the side and instead chose to focus on the modeling aspect. She got her degree, fine, but found herself loving the idea of being someone’s muse. Someone’s obsession. Someone’s love. Lola began to become heavily involved in making her own clothing, with the sewing machine that had been passed down from Mimi’s dressmaking mother right into Lola’s greedy little hands. It cost them a fortune to send her to college, but Mimi swore Lola was going to be on the cover every fashion magazine someday. Lola assured Mimi that she was too short, and focused on building a following via social media, something that she keeps up with today.

Lola’s life couldn’t be without one more tragedy, though. Mimi was cleaning the floor of their apartment in Brooklyn when she slipped on a puddle and hit her head. The injury resulted in dementia-like symptoms, not uncommon in Mimi’s age. After calling emergency services, Lola was told that there was nothing more that the doctors could do. Mimi was transferred to a care facility in Queens, and Lola visits her as faithfully as she can. Mimi is lucid sometimes, but often has no idea who Lola is other than the nice girl who visits her and sketches her.

Mimi’s current state has broken Lola’s heart. She’s picked up a few random jobs trying to make some extra cash– including dancing at a burlesque club (she insists it’s for the glamor of it all, but it’s mostly because she likes the attention), modeling for a series of painting classes (again, Lola likes attention), and working as a make-up artist. All the money she makes goes to pay for Mimi’s care, and to keep her room full of fresh flowers. Lola feels lost, understandably so, which is why she’s been so happy to join April’s Growers. It’s given her a new sense of purpose, even if sometimes she’s still kind of sad. Lola is doing the best that she can to juggle her odd jobs, her newfound roommates, her beloved mother, and pursuing what she loves.

Pets:  Lola recently rescued a French bulldog puppy named Donatella, who she loves more than life itself. Relationships:

[WANTED CONNECTIONS: Roommate for Nicola & Kitty, April’s Grower]

Santana Lopez

All things considered, they should be rivals– they’re both Latinas who can sing, they’re both drop dead gorgeous, and they usually go for the same modeling gigs– but Lola and Santana have somehow managed to become friends. It also doesn’t hurt that they’re now prone to admire each other’s beauty as often as they can in someone’s bedroom.

Reggie Clifton

Ah, how does Lola even begin to describe Reggie Clifton? They met at a rally in the city more than a year ago, which is only too fitting for the both of them.  Lola fell for Reggie and she fell very hard. They flirted, they messed around a lot, and when they admitted that they had feelings for each other, it was peppered with the worst thing Lola’s ever heard: I like you, but I don’t want to be in a relationship with you. Reggie, apparently, wasn’t ready, and Lola took her broken heart all the way back to Brooklyn and away from Acup. She’s come back around, though, and Lola is wasting no time in showing Reggie what she passed up.

X Scott

X and Lola have a really beautiful relationship, based on a mutual love of art. Lola has become something of a muse to X, and she’s always willing to pose for a photo or painting. They’re very much kindred spirits and Lola would go to the ends of the earth for X.

Nicola De Rocha & Kitty Wilde

Her roommates, but also her best friends. She’s only moved in with them recently, after Mimi’s death. Her Brooklyn home got to be too quiet, and Lola loves their chatter. Lola thinks of them as three larger-than-life personalities who could gossip until the sun comes up. She’s not so subtly hinting to Kitty that she wants to shoot at Vogue, and always dropping her wishlist to Nicola. She loves her roommates and would do anything for them.

EXTRA INFO

lola/lolalvarez/description: some women fear the fire. some women simply become it.

Five latest tweets:

@lolalvarez: @PamelaLansbury if y'all decide that the internal dating becomes to be too much and you need a new member, my door is open #justsaying @lolalvarez: I posted a makeup tutorial from my latest photoshoot on Instagram, please continue to @ me and tell me how pretty I am. @lolalvarez: DO YOU WANT TO SEE A PICTURE OF MY DOG? @donatellanotversace @lolalvarez: I could go to Central Park, or I could binge ANTM. Or, I could order Insomnia cookies #3amthoughtswithLola @lolalvarez: @nicoladerocha @awildecard Tell me I’m pretty.

[hopeididntscareyou]

As much as it hard to believe, I actually don't think about love, sex and all that life drama I usually talk about on here. The only reason i talk about these topics on here is because 1.) i dont trust anyone, i am my own bestfriend, i find that when i open up to ppl they always find a way to sabotage me. 2.) compared to my other stress relievers such as gaming, music and studying, my relationship issues don't really require a lot of mental energy because its all common sense. Other than that i have to deal with all these robotic bullshit on a daily basis.

These days I am so preoccupied with making money because I have been struggling to get a second job, which is quite depressing because I really don't understand why i cant get the fucking job when all these retarded workers could get it. But whatever, they don't know they're missing out on such an excellent employee like me. Its their loss.

Right now I am just focusing on what I have and honestly i'm quite happy that my gigs make me busy and keeping my cash flows. I am motivated to make money for the purpose of solving my problems - its not because im trying to live luxury like most people do. I still strongly believe that money is abundant, that it shouldn't be something more important than people who loves you. i hate those greedy motherfuckers who prioritize money than their family. Also, i am greatly influenced by one of my favorite philosophers, Henry David Thoreau, who was the OG of minimalism and simple living with nature. Society is crumbling because it keeps on pushing us to be greedy about things that we don't really need. I actually don't even think i need anything else in my life right now. I wake up acting like I already have all my needs met, call me delusional but i dont care. Its all within myself. Thats how I manifest my reality and the universe just follows. That being said, I have been always a business minded person ever since I was young. Its not because I cared too much about money but its more because I'm under the dark triad spectrum, that makes me more inclined to be motivated and succesful when it comes to getting profits.

I know i talked about some crazy shit not long ago about hooking up with some guy but quite frankly I dont even have time for him, im pretty much ignoring people on my snapchat and instagram right now because I dont feel like they are helpful with me chasing the checks at all, it just infuriates me how they waste so much of my time. i feel like talking/entertaining people who are interested in me is fruitless because its not like I have onlyfans. Honestly if i have onlyfans i would probably be rich right now because of the amount of simps i have both online and offline 😭 even though it seems pretty logical and smarter to do onlyfans, it just feels so wrong to me. as a person with strong beliefs, i just dont want to be associated with such a platform that is harmful for both men and women. i honestly dont know why i care for the humanity sometimes. but then again its probably just to feed my narcissism so in some ways i'm still cheating on my redemption