#instadeath

[coldflash-corner]

Barry probably has showed up so often to Saints and Sinners to talk to Snart, debate with him, ask for help, etc. (with a complete absence of the fear anyone else would have) that it's basically common knowledge that Cold has a boyfriend that will show up and scold him like a Missus

[falthiere]

CALLOUT POST FOR THE KEEPER OF PRECEPTS

Zodiark the Esper is a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his fishy fucking scaly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife. And he said his dick was THIS BIG. And I said THAT'S DISGUSTING. So I'm making a callout post on Twitter Dot Com: Zodiark The Esper, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except way smaller. AND GUESS WHAT. HERE'S WHAT MY DONG LOOKS LIKE

TALL BEAMS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS, LOOK AT THAT IT LOOKS LIKE TWO BALLS AND A BONG

He fucked my wife so GUESS WHAT, I'm gonna fuck the Earth, that's right, this is what you get! My

SUPER

LASER

PISS

[thegreatyin]

lobotomy corporation is actually so realistic. it's only day 4 and already the scoundrel has been unofficially forbidden from doing affection work. this game understands my OCs even better than i do

[robo-dino-puppy]

some out-of-bounds views in the far zenith launch facility

[pyro-madder]

pulling up into neo arcadia and im out of revives

[unma]

Berry: 🎃🕷️TRICK OR TREAT!! <|:3🕸️👻

Welcome, lovely trick-or-treat-er! Let me just look through this void for a moment and...

How did this get in here?

You got: Fucked-up Dog!

Wait a second, how did this thing breach containment? That's odd, it's not supposed to do that. I would not advice interaction with this thing at all. I guess you could just look at it? On second thought, don't, I've had bad memories with it. Also that's way too many eyes.

Uh, I guess just ignoring it is a good idea?

[saurons-pr-department]

Lads, I really need to get better at not clicking on the “view post” button. But it's just so weirdly enticing like “oooooo, what truly awful thing is behind door number 2?? 👀👀”

[libartz]

The goblin camp was SUCH a weird experience for Zebulon.

He:

-rescued Barcus Wroot from the mill, and discovered he can speak gnome but doesn’t know why

-had goblins falling over themselves to not upset him, and obeying after merely a glare. This felt familiar for some reason.

-talked to Minthara, the first drow he encountered since losing his memories, then proceeded to obliterate her in one lucky smite. She was evil but he was curious about her, so it was kind of unsatisfying. Also he stole her camp clothes so now he's going around camp with cleavage for days.

-had Abdirak torture him. It didn’t exactly help, but it was cathartic after the Alfira incident. Shadowheart was into it. Wyll was concerned.

-went to free Liam from Spike by saying he’d take over torturing him. Shadowheart and Lae’zel were united for once in being like ‘yess we’re gonna see some torture’. Wyll was mad. No torture actually happened.

-rescued Halsin, who admits to ‘trouble controlling the beast’.

Made camp in the temple and in the most eventful evening ever:

-found out about Gale’s orb deal. Now someone else has a mysterious and dangerous condition. Immediately took it seriously, yote the nearest artifact at him in a hurry. Gale ate a shirt.

-zeb had a fever. Was unsure if it was tadpole or durge-related. Lae'zel tried to murder him over it. He convinced her not to with the medical knowledge that he somehow has? Was it from killing people?

-went to sleep and dreamboi appeared. Dreamboi is modeled after Gaileth Vess, his dead husband in his TES version's backstory (not sure how he fits in here but he exists). Right now Zeb doesn't know who he is, but he was like 'you are the most gorgeous person I've ever seen, I feel like I already know you, but you want me to use the tadpole so I'm suspicious'.

-had Volo poke around his eye socket, then told him to fuck off when it became apparent he had no idea what he was doing. He was glad Volo left because he was worried about murdering him in his sleep

-Mizora is still not there and Wyll still has no horns. I think Zeb might have scared her off forever by killing Alfira the night she was supposed to appear

Next morning:

-Went with Halsin and they slaughtered the whole place together. Zeb was euphoric about this. It was like his ideal first date- meeting a hot guy who’s super nice and doing a bunch of murdering together that he doesn’t have to feel too bad about. He told Halsin he had a wonderful time killing, and Halsin’s response was 'you sound deranged'. He became a rat and left.

-they camped again before leaving and Lae'zel came onto him. He turned her down because gay with like 4 active crushes. She has a neutral relationship to him. Gale and Wyll, the guys he’s actually into, have a fair relationship and have made no moves.

[collarofguns]

i’ve decided that literally everything past the githyanki creche in my bg3 playthrough is noncanonical because there is no goddamn way my tav wouldn’t have mouthed off to vlaakith with the “i just think a real god could kill whoever she wants :)” line

[nebulaleaf]

im like obsessed with the titantic shit rn oh my god. its horrifying but utterly fascinating. i wanna know whats going on down there so bad.

[lune-fox]

pov the manager expanded the information team again and u walk into work expecting to see another lower tier abno and u see this

[biscuitquasar]

Had to fight ryuji 5 times today

[anarchomoop]

"What if in order to not get killed in boss fights you had to sit and wait in regular fights and let the enemies hit you so you could have actual HP and defense?" "Oh, it's boring. That's a bad and boring idea."

Final Fantasy II’s grinding system is so funny, the dev team were just like “ok that sucked, we’ll never do that again ever”

[pigeonliker420]

the little generational systems that the armors in this game provide are so interesting but trying to get everything set up for it and use it right can be so oug. i wanna know more about wrath and heat and reverb or whatever it was called and arcane focus and if there are any more

[tkingfisher]

I have had a WEEK.

First Hound got into some chocolate. Ok, this happens to dogs all the time, it’s not baking chocolate, and I know perfectly well that it is not INSTADEATH. Online calculators by weight are like “Yeah, that’s nothin’.” This dog has eaten rotten toads, hardback books, cigarettes…she is a canine garbage disposal. She has also never been sick a day in her life.

Then she starts eating grass. Except Hound does not know what grass is, so she is just in the garden tearing off Random Leaves. I end up chasing her around going “That’s an elm! That’s sticky germander! That’s a rare Himalayan salvia! What are you DOING?!”

Obviously this happens at one AM. Because of course it does.

Then finally she makes a noise like a murloc having an orgasm and all the plants come back up.

Fine, I think. That’s that. Nature takes its course.

Which just proves that I am, in fact, staggeringly naive. The next morning, Hound is breathing shallowly and lethargic. We drive her to the vet school ER an hour away. We explain about the plants and the chocolate and the murloc noises to a nice young vet with a manbun who looks about fifteen years old. They take Hound back, and discover Hound is having severe arrhythmia. Which is a chocolate toxicity symptom. Except we all agree that the quantity she got hold of absolute should not have done that, but hey, maybe she has developed an unexpected sensitivity. They keep her overnight. I leave a large deposit on my credit card. We drive an hour home.

The next day I come pick her up. A nice vet who actually looks old enough to drink gives me a list of symptoms to watch out for, including extreme lethargy. They give me back some of the deposit. Hound comes home.

The next morning, she is extremely lethargic and furthermore, Not Eating.

In a hound, loss of appetite generally happens several hours after all clinical signs of life are extinguished. I drive her an hour to the ER. A nice vet who appears twelve says her heart is working perfectly fine, and suggests pancreatitis. Let’s do an ultrasound. Err…in a few hours, they’re kind of slammed. I go to a coffee shop and attempt to work.

The ultrasound fails because they can’t see around Hound’s stomach, which is enormously swollen. They do an X-ray. There is something weird in there. Foreign body, it looks like. Not blocking anything, just sitting there. “Foamy mass” is the term being used. It has air bubbles. Chocolate wrapper? Weird mass of leaves? (Oh god, was she eating frog eggs out of the pond again?) The vet decides to induce vomiting to get the prize out of this particular canine Kinder Egg. I sit in the waiting room and attempt to work.

An hour and a half later, the vet comes out and says, in awestruck tones, that they have given Hound two doses of their strongest emetic and she will not vomit. “This dog has an iron stomach!” she says. I explain about the toad and the cigarettes. She asks if they were at the same time. (They were not.) Hound stays overnight. I leave a second, larger deposit on my credit card. I drive an hour home.

The next day, the vet calls me, says “So I wanted to give you an update—oh crap! STAT TRIAGE! I’ll call you back!” and hangs up. Some hours later, she calls me back. No, the foamy thing is still there. Stomach is less swollen, though. They’re still hoping she passes it. By the way, did I know Hound has erhlichiosis? I did not, but at this point, nothing surprises me. Hound stays overnight again.

The next day, Hound is transferred to Internal Medicine. Her protein levels are weird, but she is not retaining fluid. (Yay?) If the weird foamy mass is not gone, they will have to perform surgery tomorrow. I leave a third, even larger deposit over the phone. Hound stays overnight again.

The next day, a new vet, of indeterminate age, but with a strong desire to make sure that I understand every single aspect of every single test begins explaining to me about blood protein levels and that they need to do a targeted ultrasound to make sure she doesn’t have a GI bleed. I am so deep in the hole at this point that I’m just like “Yeah, whatever, do it.” Hound stays overnight again.

He calls the next day to say that she has no bleed and no pancreatitis. What about the foamy mass?

What foamy mass?

The…the one that was…I saw the X-rays…?

Well, there’s nothing there now. Maybe she passed whatever it was. No blockages anywhere. They went over her innards with a fine toothed comb. She’s eating like a horse, incidentally. Would I like to take her home tomorrow?

I drive an hour. I get Hound. The vet’s working theory is an erhlichiosis flare-up brought on by chocolate shock. She gets antibiotics, anti-nausea meds, and special bland food in case her appetite decreases. I receive a tiny amount back on my deposit. We drive an hour home.

Hound, cognizant of her delicate digestive state, immediately attempts to break into the litterbox and eat cat poop. I deliver a lengthy lecture on the evils of dumpster diving. Hound gazes at me with great earnestness, then belches gently in my face. Learning happens to other people, not Hound.

The face of a canine garbage disposal who cost me more than my first car