#inspired by the multiple times in which people told me i should be a lawyer (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧

[sethsbigtits]

"you're so good at disproving things, you should be a lawyer ! :D" NO. NO. NO. NO. ITS NOT LIKE PHEONIX WRIGHT ACE ATTORNEY.

[opulvnts]

   •  •  •   unpunishable  by  ethel  cain :    spotted !    if  it  isn’t  athena  stark  walking  through  the  streets  of  nyc .    people  say  she  looks  like  meghann  fahy ,    but  i  really  don’t  see  it .    the  thirty  year  old  philanthropist  ,   singer  &  actress  is  out  here  making  mommy  and  daddy  proud .    while  they  have  been  known  to  be  alluring ,    we’ve  all  seen  their  unruly  nature  come  to  light .    sources  tell  me  they  remind  people  of  the  beloved  'it  girl' ,   melodic  laughter  ,   the  clink  of  a  martini  glass  ,   bedroom  eyes  .    /  ciswoman  /  she  &  her .

♡     ◞        𝐷𝑂𝑆𝑆𝐼𝐸𝑅  ,   𝗍𝗁𝖾   𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗌𝗍𝗂𝖼𝗌 .

official   name  :  athena   meredith   stark  .   nickname  :  thena  .   birthdate  :  june   11th  ,   1992  .   birthplace  :  los   angeles  ,   california  .   citizenship  :  american  .   current   residence  :  beverly   hills  ,   los  angeles  .   gender  :  cis   female  ,   she / her   pronouns  .   orientation  :   bisexual  ,   biromantic  .   languages  :  english  ,   french  ,   spanish   &   russian   for   a   role  .   occupation  :   philanthropist  ,   singer   &   actress  .

♡     ◞        𝐷𝑂𝑆𝑆𝐼𝐸𝑅  ,   𝘱𝘩𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 .

faceclaim  :  meghann   fahy  .   height  :  five   foot  seven  .   build  :  slender .   eye   color  :  blue  .   hair   color  :  blonde  .  hair   style  :  favours   a   blowout .   signature   scent  :  angel   nova   by   thierry   mugler  .   style  :  effortless   chic  ,   inspired   by   kate   moss  ,   vixen   stereotypes  ,   using   sensuality   as   a   weapon  .    piercings  :   multiples   on   each   lobe  ,   double   helix   &   left   daith  .  tattoos  :  several  ,   see   here  .   scars  :   none  .

♡     ◞        𝐷𝑂𝑆𝑆𝐼𝐸𝑅  , 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 .  

big   three  :  gemini   sun  ,   scorpio   moon  ,   leo   rising  .   mbti  :  enfp  .   label  :  the   bellwether  .   traits  :  alluring  ,   unruly  ,   devious  ,   ambitious  .   character   inspo  :  serena   van   der   woodsen   (  gossip   girl  )  ,   samantha   jones   (  sex   in   the   city  )  ,   tanya   chesham-leigh   (  mama   mia  )  ,   lily   (  black   swan  )  .

♡     ◞        𝐷𝑂𝑆𝑆𝐼𝐸𝑅  ,    𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘭 .  

biological   father  :  bartholomew   stark  .   occupation  :  ceo   &   music   producer  .   biological   mother  :  evelyn   stark  .   occupation  :   entertainment   lawyer  .    siblings  : one   older   sister  .

♡     ◞        𝑩𝑰𝑶𝑮𝑹𝑨𝑷𝑯𝒀  ,   𝘵𝘩𝘦   𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 .

second  born  to  celebrity  dynasty ,   her  mother  a  notable  entertainment  lawyer  and  her  father  a  ceo  /  music  producer .   majority  of  their  focus  fell  on  her  older  sister ,   leaving  athena  in  the  shadows  for  much  of  her  childhood .   perks  of  being  the  second  born .

the  large  focus  on  her  sister  meant  parents  had  barely  any  time  to  spend  being  responsible  and  caring  guardians ,   instead  they  opted  to  send  her  to  switzerland  where  she  attended  private  school  from  age  5 - 18 .

boarding  school  was  a  hoot  for  the  blonde ,   sneaking  out  of  her  dorm ,   befriending  the  nearby  boys  school ,   throwing  parties ,   causing  havoc  and  cheating  on  her  exams .  

when  she  was  seven ,   she  returned  for  holiday  break  to  the  family’s  chalet  in  aspen .   during  this  time  she  was  informed  that  her  popstar  of  a  sister  had  been  caught  with  her  third  dui ,   which  then  followed  a  lengthy  lecture  as  to  why  she  should  strive  to  be  nothing  like  her  older  sister .

returning  home  once  eighteen  came  with  a  multitude  of  new  responsibilities ,   most  of  which  involved  being  controlled  and  scrutinised  by  parents .  focus  now  shifted  onto  the  youngest  stark  to  allow  parents  to  leech  off  celebrity ,   while  she  did  as  she  was  told  athena  still  opted  to  rebel .  

athena’s  sister  had  seen  the  error  of  their  ways  and  cut  ties  with  their  parents ,   ultimately  why  they’d  eagerly  turned  their  attention  to  her .

at  ninteen  athena  left  to  new  york  to  attend  julliard’s  drama  programme ,  which  she  gained  top  marks  for  and  obtained  her  masters .   during  this  time  was  when  she  had  her  first  real  relationship ,   the  only  person  she’d  ever  told  she’d  loved ,   ultimately  breaking  it  off  due  to  issues  with  trust  and  opening  up  fully .

disappointedly  the  stark  parents  watched  as  their  youngest  daughter  took  after  their  eldest ,   falling  into  the  partying  scene ,   dabbling  in  drug  use  and  plenty  of  alcohol .   her  punishments  were  more  severe  than  the  ones  her  sister  had  received  due  to  their  parents  determined  not  to  ‘screw  up’  with  another  daughter .   

it  wasn’t  long  before  the  whirlwind  blonde  started  raking  on  roles .   her  first  ever  role  was  as  new  york’s  it  girl ,   serena  van  der  woodsen ,   on  gossip  girl .   after  that  she  worked  on  several  projects ,   her  most  notable  work  including  her  role  as  amy  dunne  in  gone  girl  and  her  reoccurring  role  in  the  mcu  as  natasha  romanoff .

her  increase  in  popularity  brought  the  harsh  microscope  of  the  media ,   watching  her  every  move ,   emphasising  her  mistakes ,   starting  rumours  etc .   a  lot  of  the  posts  regarding  the  blonde  were  of  her  partying  and  acting  chaotically ,   which  eventually  gained  her  the  reputation  of  hollywood’s  wild  child .

ever  since  her  return  from  switzerland  athena  has  been  under  the  controlling  vice  of  her  parents  wishes ,   at  first  it  was  easier  to  abide ,   feeling  a  sense  of  duty  to  them  after  being  away  for  so  long ,   more  recently  she’s  found  acting  out  suits  her  better .    

femme’s  fear  of  relationships  stems  from  turbulent  dynamic  with  parents .   inability  to  open  up  nor  let  people  in  makes  it  difficult  for  more  than  a  hook  up  to  bloom ,  her  fears  are  also  set  in  being  distrustful  and  the  idea  of  being  controlled  by  a  significant  other  like  parents  had  done .  because  of  this  athena  opts  for  fleeting  relationships ,   one  night  stands ,   hook  ups ,   flirtationships ,   anything  to  keep  others  at  an  arms  length .  

the  strained  relationship  with  her  parents  and  their  incessant  lectures  about  not  turning  out  like  her  sister  has  made  athena  grow  to  dislike  her  older  sister .   often  keeping  herself  far  away  from  her  reach .

♡     ◞        𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑬  ,   𝘵𝘩𝘦   𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴 .

athena   wishes  she  had  spent  more  time  in  los  angeles  growing  up ,   never  having  the  stability  other  children  has  made  it  difficult  for  her  to  settle  down .

she  absolutely  refuses  to  let  the  outdated  stereotype  of  aging  women  in  hollywood  be  applied  to  her .   hence  all  the  partying .

she  is  currently  in  talks  to  take  on  another  substantial  role .

athena  has  been  the  spokesperson  for  an  array  of  designer  brands  over  the  years ,   her  relationships  with  these  fashion  houses  is  still  intact  to  this  day .

she  is  more  than  happy  to  put  someone  in  their  place ,   generally  unconcerned  if  doing  so  will  bring  bad  press .   she’d  rather  speak  her  mind  than  be  a  passive  bystander .

athena  is  well  known  for  being  having  a  chaotic  persona ,   always  up  for  a  wild  night  on  the  town  or  doing  something  crazy .

she  often  uses  her  sexuality  to  her  advantage  on  a  regular  basis ,   knowing  how  mindless  some  individuals  can  be  when  faced  with  idea  of  bedding  her .

the  recent  (  and  very  public  )  case  of  her  stalker  has  caused  athena  to  distance  herself  from  a  lot  of  close  friends  and  she  has  slowly  begun  falling  back  into  her  parents  clutches .

[archivalofsins]

Okay, @givemeanaccountalready

Yeah, no, that was amazing. I needed that. I like keeping the ending open to interpretation myself.

It can be interpreted as him faking the whole way through (this is the intended purpose of the film which can come off as inherently deligitimizing to the disorder as a whole) , I feel that's a bit of a weak interpretation. I feel it's more interesting to assume the diagnosis was real. Though that's me personally as an individual that believes a diagnosis is just that a diagnosis.

It's not an excuse, and the full circumstances should be taken into account before using it as one. That wasn't done here. Instead, a neurologist spent sixty hours with Aaron/Roy and then preemptively concluded just because they had this disorder, they could not have had agency over their circumstances in any way. While beneficial to his defense, it is ultimately dehumanizing and dismissive of the fact that even though Aaron does not present his anger, he still has and feels it.

They literally just label him too much of a pushover to do anything. Then Roy labels him as not real entirely abd its difficult after everything seen to really tell if that's true or if after the trial, Aaron just outlived their purpose. Which makes the information hard to confront mentally and emotionally. There are things they could have done outside of that scene to make it absolutely clear Roy was faking that isn't touched on and his anger at the tape being seen is genuine.

Also, if he was faking and his goal was to trick the jury, why only do it when the cameras off? Like and clearly take issues with the cameras. Having that recorded would have been far more beneficial and easier for the case. We also see the two have a conversation when Roy talks to the lawyer for the first time. So, it's not completely out of line to assume there is some communication between the two that would explain why Aaron would apologize for what he did.

It's also kind of phoned in the gotcha. Like why dud he think no one told him what he did? There were multiple witnesses to that last one, but they had to get it in somehow. I really do like how it takes one form of questioning Aaaron's morality by asking how he knew that for Roy to kind of come out and stay out and basically go well fuck it. Like there was just no way to talk themselves out of that one.

Though I don't want to give it too much credit. The movie is clearly a product of its time coasting, mostly off the idea that DID was a construct made up by people who think they're smart (mental health professionals) that only serves to aid bad actors in avoiding taking accountability. As can be seen through the prosecution's discussion of the topic. A lot of media that portrays DID regardless of the number of alters, does this.

However, it did have a sprinkle of accuracy up until that point. But I can only way that because I've seen way worse. It's definitely one of the better portrayals I've personally seen. The standard of which being I could at least stomach watching it again.

However, it just cemented my appreciation for Mikoto's character more. The staff did say they took some inspiration from horror media in the west movies- so I wonder if this film was taken into consideration. Especially given the similarities between what occurs with Mikoto and the instance we see here.

Trains taking a prominent role when giving them cover in both did not escape my notice. It's definitely a good bit to chew on and interesting to see how Milgram expands on the concept in a bit more of a balanced way. Overall, it was a good watch, though.

Edit: Also, if it was really about being found innocent and Roy was faking the entire time, why not just lie on Alex when the opportunity presented itself? He's in here like I don't know if Alex could do that meanwhile on the streets Alex I'd pulling knives on people!

Knocks on Ask Box window

Have you ever seen Primal Fear because Double makes me think of the twist ending.

I am currently watching this film because I read your comment and I need to see how this goes. I need to go through this sooo bad-

[gaiapaia]

Kermit and Friends: Lizzie with Flesh-n-Bone and Onision

Fun fact about Gaia Paia: I grew up a fan of hip-hop music as far back as I can remember. It started innocently enough at 5 or 6-years-old when MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice were at the top of the charts. Fast forward a few years later, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony would release Crossroads and I was hooked from that point forward. My mom let me get the single on cassette since there were no curse words and the song was about Heaven... I played that thing non-stop.

So when Elisa told me Flesh-N-Bone from Bone Thugs-N-Harmony would be a guest this week, I was pretty excited!

Flesh did not disappoint. He was open and candor about his feelings regarding the current political environment in America. More importantly, Flesh shared about his past troubles with the law and how he lost 10 years of his life to prison due to a false conviction. Despite that and his very rough childhood, Flesh remains a big positive ball of energy just looking to improve the World in the way he personally believes it should be improved. He was very inspiring, honestly.

Flesh has a beautiful recent single/music video out called Dedication, which you can check out for yourself by clicking this sentence. It’s very Crossroads like, so any fan of that song should love this one.

Flesh was absolutely tremendous and it’s awesome to see him become one of Kermit’s new friends. I have a good feeling we’ll be seeing him back on the show very soon. Maybe we can get him to perform a live rendition of Dedication! 

Lizzie Harding also joined Kermit and Friends this week. She was featured on Andy Dick’s first KAF appearance back in January (you can read about that here) but it was Elisa’s intention with this episode to allow Lizzie to get into more detail about Lizzie’s unbelievable story.

Lizzie’s story includes her being falsely arrested multiple times, being held in solitary confinement for 5 days despite never once seeing a day in court, having her kids kidnapped from her, her husband allegedly being a pedophile while her kids remain with him, her rental house being burned down this past week after appearing on Infowars, and having all her money stolen by her husband.

If this sounds like an absolutely crazy story.... it is. Most of the chat didn’t believe Lizzie’s tales but I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt because A) she was so sincere and passionate, and B) her husband is an extremely successful, high profile lawyer in the state of New York. If anyone can get away with truly heinous crimes, it’s people in his powerful position.

However, after dealing with Lizzie first hand... I’m starting to believe she creates delusions about her situation. Don’t get me wrong, Lizzie genuinely believes what she’s saying, but that doesn’t necessarily make it true (if it is all true, I would feel horrible about saying this stuff... this is why #BelieveAllWomen is a thing).

A good while after Lizzie’s interview, Elisa would play an Eric masturbation video as she’s been doing every week. Lizzie flipped her lid and started texting Elisa in a very harsh manner, saying we promised Lizzie that there would be no sexuality on the show. That is 100% a false statement by Lizzie.

I talked to Lizzie after the show and told her had we knew something like that video would offend her, we would have put it off for a week. Lizzie told me to read our past messages to prove she warned us, so I did and there was nothing about that or anything close to it... yet, she still believes we had this conversation that we never had even though she cannot provide a screenshot of the things she claims we discussed.

Regardless of all that, I wish Lizzie well and hope she gets in a better place soon, both mentally and physically. She’s in a lot of pain right now and that’s always sad to see. Plus, Lizzie was an amazing guest before jumping off the rails, sharing her compelling story with unbridled passion. I doubt we see her on KAF again but she’s someone we will NEVER forget.

Onision made his return to Kermit and Friends this week as well if you can’t already tell from the title. He mainly ruffled Flesh and Lizzie’s feathers by questioning their stories and political opinions. Not to say Onision was disrespectful by any means... he was not, but they did not like his line of questioning, especially Lizzie. However, Onision was terrific because Elisa’s not the type to challenge and question someone on their beliefs or the stories they tell. I think there’s great potential in Onision bringing that kind riveting content to Kermit and Friends regularly if he chooses to become a mainstay like I hope he does.

Everything about this episode was a rollercoaster blast except for one part.

Elisa admitted that she checked herself into the hospital a few days ago. Apparently she had some serious chest contusions and was having trouble breathing. After not finding anything wrong internally, the doctors chalked it up as an anxiety attack after forcing Elisa to stay there for over 8 hours.

To give you a timeline of events... last week, Elisa finally had enough of Andy Dick after he moved in for a few hours and treated her like dog crap. Or did she? It wasn’t 24 hours after last week’s show when Elisa was tweeting “Hi” to Andy, trying to get his attention. It was about 24 hours after that when Elisa was on a date with Andy on his Instagram stories. Then about 48 hours later, Elisa is getting checked into the hospital thanks to the anxiety she claims Andy has brought into her life.

So what happened on that date and the days following? Unfortunately, we didn’t get any answers. Maybe we will next week. But I’m truly fed up with seeing Andy bring so much heartache to Elisa’s life.

Elisa wrote this very beautiful song and made a sweet video tribute to Andy and played it during the show. Why? Why does he deserve that? Maybe it’ll help give Elisa a sense of closure and she’ll be able to move on from him. Maybe not. If so though, then I’m all for it, but part of me doubts that’s the case.

Unfortunately, Elisa is not a fan of my take on Andy right now, which is that she needs to stop trying to help someone who doesn’t want to help himself and who doesn’t treat her kindly. Elisa needs to focus on HER mental health and HER personal hardships rather than burdening herself with Andy’s, which just piles on and on relentlessly until boom... you’re being checked into a hospital. It will only get worse if she keeps putting effort into this guy.

Andy’s lover Lucas called into the show to try to pawn off Andy to Elisa, doing his best to guilt trip Elisa into taking Andy back. To Elisa’s credit, she told Lucas no and it seemed like she meant it. However, last week it seemed like she meant it when Elisa said she was done with Andy, so who knows if she’s serious this time.

It’s very tough for me to watch Elisa destroy herself all because of this poisonous clown Andy Dick. I guess you could say I should take my own advice and stop trying to help someone if they’re not willing to help themselves. The difference is, I’ve loved and supported Elisa for 6 years. I’ve been there for her at times when I know for a fact no one else was there for her. Not because I want anything from Elisa, but just because I genuinely love this woman and I want to see a beautiful/wonderful soul like her be happy.

Elisa has known Andy for not even 6 months. She loves a version of him in her head that does NOT exist. She cannot turn Andy into the person she wants him to be, and the harder she tries, the more heartbreak and devastation it’s going to bring to her life. So I pray Elisa can find the strength to move on from him and any other person in her life that’s dragging her down.

Moving on... Johnny B did a great karaoke performance of What A Wonderful Word by Louis Armstrong, Laurie was back to do the KAF Wrap-Up Show even though she had no clue who Flesh-N-Bone is and didn’t want to look him up, Kermit made a new friend named Alex G, Sharmin Smith went on a passionate rant about COVID, and Hud Isaacson fell asleep during the show with his new girlfriend by his side.

Let me just reiterate that this was a classic episode. I really mean it. Flesh was awesome, Lizzie was mind-blowing, Onision was perfect, and the chat was the most active it’s been since the Spreecast days. I don’t like kissing the ass of chat because sometimes they think they’re more important than they actually are... but they deserve to have their asses kissed after yesterday’s show! Chat was absolutely on fire and that’s really all the validation you need to know that this Kermit and Friends episode was a very special one.

[eliottdearlawyer]

Eliott Dear Lawyer | Know the Principles to Your Financial Freedom

Everything in nature is governed by laws. Nothing exists, except it's set in bylaws and also sustained by laws. Eliott Dear Lawyer, an experienced lawyer in New York discusses here regarding brief knowledge about financial laws. 

The earth revolves around the sun, supported laws. We walk on earth by the law of gravity. Things grow by laws. We sleep in an ocean of laws and principles.

Laws respect nobody. If you set it to figure, it'll produce the results for you. Laws can work for you or against you supported your understanding and utilization of that law. So also, wealth creation relies on laws. There are foundational laws and laws for building blocks.

According to Elliott Dear Lawyer, the inner laws may also be called the foundational laws and therefore the outer laws must be built on the inner laws for them to provide lasting results.

You can not operate one without the other; both laws must be operational for you to be substantially successful financially. The inner laws which are the foundational laws must be exercised first, so on sustain the outer laws which you need to operate too.

Always remember that there's no building without inspiration. The stronger the inspiration, the stronger and therefore the safer the building. The building lasts for an extended period thanks to the inspiration. This can be also true of the financial laws. Work plenty on the inner laws and build it strong.

Based on my years of study, research, and proven results, I've got encapsulated these laws into sentences/quotes. I'm still learning because there's no genuine man of means that stops learning. One in all the principles of wealth creation and multiplication is continuous effective learning.

According to my, the first financial law is an inner law and it's the inspiration of all laws. Your outside status will always answer together with your inner state. Have you heard of or read this from the bible that "as a person thinks in his heart so is he". The first financial law is sort of the precise paraphrase of this verse. 

You're the precise product of your inner state. Notice, I failed to say your inner state will always qualify along with your outside status. The rationale is because one precedes the opposite. 

Inner state precedes outside status. The inner state produces what the skin condition should appear as if. Your inner state creates your world. observe your results now, that is the exact representation of your inner state.

Let's do a straightforward exercise. What quantity does one spend monthly (both money and time) to upgrade your inner state and elevate your awareness? Write the solution down. 

The solution reflects in your results. you may say I do not have much money to get these materials. It isn't what proportion you have got, it's how passionate you're.

Let me offer you an example of most people's inner state. most people work to form money. Working to form money is a result of your conditioning. Most are told since their childhood to get older and work to earn money. But I've got news for you.

The worst way of constructing money is by working. Working is meant to be the way of expressing your love for what you are doing. Working is for satisfaction and fulfilling your purpose to not make money. 

[discovisiondreams]

Top 15 First Watches of 2020

I’ve never been good at staying current on pop culture, and that became especially pronounced in 2020. A year where most of the anticipated theatrical releases were pushed to VOD (and the price nearly tripled) meant that a lot of flicks I was excited for got added to the end of the “Maybe Someday” watchlist. 

But in this strange year, I did manage to watch 245 movies- and 195 of those were first-time watches. Some were new, only available on the (virtual) festival circuit. Some were Criterion mainstays, films I’m horrified to admit I hadn’t seen before. But this year, when movies cemented themself as my biggest joy, I began to really track what I watched- including a “top 5 first watches of the month” roundup for every month. These top 5s weren’t ranked, and weren’t even based on technical ability, strength of dialogue, or critical acclaim. They were just the 5 I loved the best. 

So without further ado, here are my top 15 of the year- one selected from the top 5 of each month, with some bonus entries thrown in as well. As a general rule, I only included features on this list- I was fortunate enough to catch shorts that streamed at Chattanooga Film Fest, Celebration of Fantastic Fest, and more, but to add them to the running would have made writing this listicle absolutely impossible. 

HONORABLE Honorable Mention: The Holiday. Inspired by the fine folks at Super Yaki, I finally watched this Nancy Meyers classic. Why is it two and a half hours long?! Why is that two and a half hours so significantly lacking in Jack Black?! The scenes that Black is in, though, really shine. This one is going to be a Christmas mainstay in the Disco household (and not just because I spent money on the DVD).

15: The Love Witch (Honorable Mention, April). This one came highly recommended to me by friends of all sorts, and like most of my 2020 first watches, I’m deeply embarrassed that it took me this long to get to it. Upon finally watching it, on a rainy Sunday, I described the movie in general (and the color palette, specifically) as “sumptuous,” which is one of the most complimentary visual descriptors I can bestow upon a movie. The plot felt a little convoluted at times, but I still found The Love Witch incredibly enjoyable and am hoping to explore more of writer-director Anna Biller’s filmography in 2021.

14: The Guest (Honorable Mention, October). The Guest is one of the few movies I watched multiple times this year- and the only one I watched twice in one week. From the sultry industrial soundtrack selections to the numerous visual nods to Halloween III: Season of the Witch, The guest was Extremely My Shit. The casting here is truly tremendous- especially Maika Monroe, who was similarly brilliant in It Follows. Also of note: Lance Reddick, one of my current favourite character actors. 

13: The Fast and The Furious (Honorable Mention, May). 2 Fast 2 Furious (and its bespoke theme song, Act A Fool, by Ludacris) came out when I was in the 6th grade. Do you remember the music and movies that entered the world when you were in 6th grade? Do you have an inexplicable zealous love for them? 2F2F was the only film in the Fast Cinematic Universe I had seen for a long, long time. Then I saw Fate of the Furious. Then I bought the series box set, as a joke?? And then, slowly but then also all at once, I genuinely started to love this franchise. Some of them are truly ridiculous. Some of them are genuinely bad. But the first one? The Fast and The Furious (2001)? Timeless. Point Break updated and adapted for the early-aughts, The Fast and the Furious walked so The Italian Job (2003) could run. Without The Fast and The Furious, Paul Walker would just be “the guy from Tammy and The T-Rex” to millions of casual cinemagoers. The cultural impact of The Fast and The Furious simply cannot be denied!! 

12: Come to Daddy (Top 5, July). Honestly, this is the exact flavor of bonkers bullshit I’ve grown to expect from Elijah Wood, and that is not an indictment. Wood’s genuine love for genre film is evident here, in what can only be described as an uncomfortable film of family, reunion, and redemption. The tense and abrasive first half gives way to a surprisingly relieving wave of violence and exposition in this critically-acclaimed flick. 

11: The Stylist (Top 5, September). The feature-length debut of writer-director Jill Gevargizian, based off her short of the same name, is female-led horror that pays homage to genre mainstays like Maniac and Psycho while still being decidedly singular. Not only shot in Kansas City, but set in Kansas City, The Stylist made my midwestern heart happy. This is one that I really, really would have loved to see in a crowded theater auditorium, were this year a different one. 

10: In The Mouth of Madness (Top 5, March). Despite being the beginning of pandemic awareness, March was a slow month for me, movie-wise (even though it’s not like I had anything else going on??). But I finally made time for this Carpenter classic, and I’m so happy I did. I’ve long been fascinated by stories about stories, and the people who find themselves trapped within those stories, and this one is truly, in the most basic sense of the word, horrifying. Sam Neill proves that he belongs in horror here, making his role in Event Horizon seem like a natural fit. Also a highlight: noted character actor David Warner, best known (to me) as “Billy Zane’s bodyguard guy in Titanic,” who never ever fails to be unsettling. 

9: Profondo Rosso (Top 5, April). Before this year, my only Argento exposure was Suspiria (which is phenomenal), but Deep Red goes off the deep end in all the best ways. The score (by frequent Argento collaborators Goblin) is truly groovy. The number of twists and turns the plot takes is kind of mind-boggling, but also delightful. Daria Nicolodi (RIP)  is at the top of her acting game here. This quickly became one of my beloved background movies- if I opened Shudder and Profondo Rosso was playing on one of their live-streaming channels, it stayed on while I was cleaning or cooking or paying bills. Profondo Rosso is a must-watch for those hoping to get into giallo.

8: Crimson Peak (Top 5, November). This one was definitely not what I was expecting, but it was GORGEOUS. I loved the world immediately (a Del Toro trademark, to be honest). As a longtime Pacific Rim stan, it made my heart happy to see Charlie Hunnam and Burn Gorman reunited under Guillermo Del Toro’s vision. 

7: Palm Springs (Top 5, August). I am not typically a time-travel movie enthusiast- but I am a sucker for witty repartee and Andy Samberg. This one made me ugly-cry, which I should probably be a bit more ashamed to admit. August had a lot of really great first watches, but the Hulu exclusive takes the cake due to its novel premise, some truly heart-wrenching reveals, and the amazing casting (is there anything JK Simmons cant do?). 

6: Scare Package (Top 5, May). Is there any format I love more than the horror anthology? While there have been so many over the years (Creepshow, All the Creatures Were Stirring), Scare Package might be my favourite of them all. A variety of fun and inventive stories combined with a genre-lovers dream of an overarching narrative make this one a must-see- in fact, it was the whole reason I bought a pass to this year’s online version of Chattanooga Film Fest. There’s a cameo here that absolutely knocked my socks off (and continued to do so even on repeat viewings). While the scares here are honestly minimal, Scare Package is a great love letter to the genre at large.

5: Do The Right Thing (Top 5, June). Yes, it took me until 2020 to watch Do The Right Thing for the first time. The palpable tension, the interwoven stories of Bed-Stuy’s residents, all seem timeless. Giancarlo Esposito is, as always, a joy to watch. 

4: Knives Out (Top 5, February). “It’s a Rian Johnson whodunnit, duh,” states the SuperYaki! T-shirt famously worn by Jamie Lee Curtis, star of Knives Out (2019). This one has received worlds of critical acclaim, I truly do not know what I could even hope to add to the conversation. I want more old-school murder mystery cinema.

3: The VelociPastor (Top 5, January). It should be testimonial enough that The VelociPastor beat out Miss Americana, Netflix’s Taylor Swift documentary, as the top pick for January- but in case it isn’t, let me end 2020 the way I began it; by evangelizing the HECK out of this movie. Written and directed by up-and-coming triple-threat (Director/songwriter/prolific cat-photo-poster) Brendan Steere, The VelociPastor is a true love letter to genre cinema, complete with a big wink to the criminally underloved Miami Connection. Alyssa Kempinski shines as Carol, a doctor/lawyer/hooker with a heart of gold. The VelociPastor premiered in 2019 but gained tons of attention in 2020 (thanks in part to YouTube sensation Cody Ko)- attention that it truly deserves. A sequel is rumored to be in the works, but mark my words, anything to come from the imagination of Brendan Steere will be worth a watch. 

2: Dinner in America (Top 5, October). I genuinely feel sorry for the other movies I watched in October (there were a lot) (they were all SO GOOD). Dinner in America, which I caught during the Nightstream hybrid festival, was not at all what I was expecting. While the other features were all very solidly genre flicks, this was…. A comedy? A modern love story?? I’mn honestly still not exactly sure, but I do know I loved every second of it. I laughed. I cried. I threw my hands up in the air exuberantly (in front of my laptop, looking like a true fool). I did not shut up about this movie online for weeks. I told anyone and everyone that Kyle Gallner is the most underrated actor of my generation and I still believe it! Dinner in America, the story of a punk band frontman who unwittingly takes refuge from the police in the home of his biggest fan, was an unexpectedly heartwarming tale of family, young love, and arson. Watch it as soon as you can. 

1: Promising Young Woman (Top 5, December). This last-minute debut from Emerald Fennell, originally scheduled to hit theaters in April of this year, finally made its way to the big screen on Christmas Day, and became the 2020 entry on my annual “Christmas Day Trip to the Theater” list.* Carey Mulligan is an icon and deserves all of the awards for this. The soundtrack is sublime. The casting choices are truly incredible. While I have no doubt that the general themes of the movie will be polarizing, I absolutely loved this one- I sat in my car in the theater parking lot for a WHILE, considering just buying a ticket for the next showtime- that’s how badly I felt like I needed to see it again immediately. I look forward to writing its inevitable Criterion essay.

*Nobody else in rural iowa was interested in seeing this movie at noon on Christmas Day. I’m shocked.

[asoftervirge]

Of “Love” & Murder (7/13)

CHAPTER TITLE: Logan Oxford: Esteemed Novelist

RATING: PG PAIRINGS: P. Sanders/V. Sanders (main/one-sided); R. Sanders/V. Sanders (former); V. Sanders/L. Sanders (former); V. Sanders/D. Sanders (former); Remy/E. Picani (side); T. Sanders/OMC (mentioned)

CHAPTER WARNINGS/KINKS: mentions of Anxiety, Logan being A Nerd, Philosophy Jargon, mentions of a previous Murder, mentions of Poisoning CHAPTER SUMMARY:  Logan tell Patton how he met Virgil.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: And we’re introduced to Logan! :D This chapter is shorter than the Roman introduction, but it should still bring excitement for people to want to learn how xe died. That’s a weird sentence. lol And yes, xe not he. Logan has had a number of changes with this update and I’m very pleased with them, so I hope everyone else is too. Also, this chapter is PG, so that’s good! Have fun reading everyone! xx Virge

INSPIRATION: This post by @phantomofthesanderssides

AO3 || Buy Me a Ko-Fi!

Patton squeaked and stood up straighter. For some reason, this person gave off a cold and aloof aura. Much different from the warmth and passion that radiated from Roman.

“You— You must be the second of Virgil’s husbands?”

“Spouses,” the second ghost immediately corrected. His lips curled into a slight scowl. It was pretty intimidating to say the least, especially with how tall he seemed to be. “While I do not completely mind being considered his…’husband,’ I would prefer to be called his spouse. Also my pronouns call be he/him, but I would prefer xe/xyr.”

“O-Oh!” Patton blushed, feeling bad he accidentally misgendered another person. “I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t mean—”

“Since this is our first encounter and it was merely an accident, I’ll let it slide.” xe told the confectioner while marching toward him, maintaining a good distance. “However, should we encounter each other again multiple times after this, and you still continue to misuse my pronouns, I can guarantee I will not be so friendly.”

Patton gulped. “Got it.”

Xe held out a hand for him. “Logan Oxford. Esteemed novelist and self-admitted astrophile.”

The confectioner didn’t know what half of those words meant. “U-Uhm,” he shakes Logan’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mx. Oxford.”

“Logan, please. No need for formalities.”

He nodded. Now that he thinks about it, Patton has heard the name Logan Oxford before. His cousin Emile brought xem up a couple of times when he talked about therapy (while still keeping patient confidentiality, obviously). He mentioned how xyr essays were really good, but they seemed a little too…stuffy, for his personal tastes (like most scientists/doctors/philosophers/etc).

Now meeting xem for the first time, he can understand why Emile said that.

While Roman had on very bold, fancy colors: reds and whites and golds, Logan was a stark contrast to that. Similar to his own palette but not quite. Xe had on a dark blue dress coat with a white button-up underneath it, along with black suit pants and dark brown dress shoes. A little bit of gold was on his buttons and cuff links, but other than that, the colors xe wore were predominantly dark.

Come to think of it, there were a lot of differences between he and Logan. The novelist had dark eyes while he had baby blue. Logan had straight, gelled black hair while he had strawberry blonde curls. A medium build with a good amount of muscle as opposed to a soft curvy build with a bit of chub. A sharp face as opposed to a rounded one. Square glasses as opposed to rounded lenses.

Regardless, xe were a very clean-looking individual. Perhaps even handsome in xyr own right, much like Virgil was.

“I suppose you’re wanting to warn me about Virgil too?” he asks.

“Is that not why you’re here?” Logan responds. “Or were you just wanting to put your nose into the affairs of a relatively wealthy man?”

Patton pouted. He didn’t have to be rude about it!

“But yes,” the novelist says immediately after. “I am here to also warn you about the dangers of Mr. Virgil Nyx of 613 Rue Morgue.”

“Well take your time. I’m not here to rush you.”

“I appreciate your concerns, but my past before Mr. Nyx is easy to discuss,” Logan tells him.

The confectioner nods, listening to him attentively.

“Growing up as a child, my father was a firm believer of knowledge,” Xe began. “He always believed that it was an incomparably valuable, multipurpose tool, instrumental in identifying and solving any of the world’s problems.” Dark blue eyes casted themselves over to the books. “One of the things he used to tell me was, “If you are ever worried about getting hurt, then seek knowledge. It is our greatest weapon, and our greatest defense.” And so, with that, my ever-growing thirst began.”

Xe went on, “I scoured for any form of knowledge, be that books or even educative television, wherever I could find it, I absorbed it entirely. I read every book from both my father and Ye Ye, every book from the libraries— primary school, the public one, university— etcetera. All of it was not enough for me. I eventually received my Master’s in Philosophy and a Doctorate in Physics, wishing to expand my love of all things intellect and share it with the world.” He turns back to Patton. “Before my graduation, I had published a few theses that were eventually used at other prestigious universities; and afterward, I had written a book or two, which resulted in my rise to celebrity.”

Patton nodded. Then he asked, “Had you known about Virgil before you met him?”

“I was aware of him, yes.” the novelist’s lips thinned into a firm line. “I had heard about the…supposed suicide of Roman Scarlet, famed Broadway actor and beloved performer of the Storytime lounge. I had also heard of his brother’s desire to take Virgil to court without any proof of murderous intent, I believe he was even in contact with a lawyer despite this.”

The confectioner looked at xem in surprise. “Even when he didn’t have evidence, his brother had contact with a lawyer about wanting to see if Virgil could be charged with murder?”

“Indeed.” Logan nodded. “At first, I read it off as some silly story for revenge, not exactly understanding how that was actually the truth.”

Patton nodded. “So…Did you meet him at a book signing or…?”

Logan didn’t say anything of the longest time. When xe did, it was very vague-sounding. “When I met Virgil…well, let’s just say it was…a strange sense of irony.”

…

If he could, Virgil would have openly spat about how much he did not want to be here. When he became as wealthy as he is, he swore up and down that he would never return to this place, return to the old life he lived before he knew what it was like to have money.

And yet, here he was, walking into a familiar-looking bookstore. The name re-entering his mind like he hadn’t shoved it out oh so many years ago.

Catching his eye was the small clump of beings standing outside its old, paint-chipped door; maybe the line won’t be as long as he thought. However, he quickly (and unfortunately) realized that the clump of people outside stood at the end of a line that snaked through the entire store.

Everyone and their mother apparently wanted to meet Logan Oxford today of all days.

He should’ve expected this, and yet, he didn’t. Idiot.

Actual anxiety slowly began to seize his being as he continued to approach. Everyone seemed to have a book clutched in their hands. Most were the newest release that came just before the holidays, while some seemed to be personally chosen titles by the older audience, and then there were even books of essays that were held and gossiped about by students (or who Virgil assumed to be university students).

By the time the line actually started moving, Virgil felt sweat starting to coat his palms. He let out a noise of annoyance and shoved them into his pockets.

He was not going to let his stupid anxiety ruin this chance for him. He wasn’t!

Walking in, the little jingle of the bell above sounded like the heavy dong of a church one.

Virgil forced himself to look around. This cozy little hellhole remained the same even after almost a decade. (He even forced himself to wonder if the old owner was still here. Probably not. Maybe retired. Or dead.)

The lighting was still bad, but it gave the small interior of the store its warm glow; the carpeting was still old fashioned and had that untraceable smell to it; the chairs scattered about the store were all patchy and worn-down; the wooden tables had scratch marks and random-ass messages that people carved in with pencil; and there were still crazy knickknacks and antiques hanging from the walls or seen from the shelves.

For the widower, this place was a walk-in nightmare, like walking into someone’s grandmother’s house. But for the many customers who come and go daily, it was a little spot of comfort.

Silver-grey eyes eventually found the prize he was looking for.

Logan Oxford sat at a small table with a pen in xyr hand. The writer smiled very thinly up at an admirer as xe handed back their book from across the table.

A thousand little details flooded Virgil’s mind all at once. A full mouth that could be expressive if it wasn’t so clearly behind a reserved wall. A face that was as sharp as Roman’s but it was much more angular. Rich, dark eyes that almost seemed black: dark and mysterious, they looked like they were pulled from the night sky. Slicked back hair that would still be considered neat without all that damn hair gel.

Xe were more than attractive than the widower realized. Perfect for being his next target.

Just before it was his turn, he saw a stand full of Logan’s books, all new and old alike. Making sure no one was looking, he snagged a copy before making his way towards the novelist.

The novelist took the book without even saying anything, not even so much as a polite hello. Xe flipped it open to the first page and started to scribble on the first page with blue ink.

Virgil looked down at the book he grabbed and an idea sparked in his mind. He cleared his throat, but not loud enough to cause a scene. “Mx. Oxford?” he pretended to sound eager. “I know you’ve probably heard this before, but your philosophy essays are so fascinating.”

“You are correct, I have heard it before.” xe said. Dark eyes flashed up at him, a brow quirked and his expression monotone. “Do you have a particular question you’d like to ask me?”

He nodded. “Actually, I do…Do you believe that your field of study has been hindered by the teachings of Aristotle, or are you one of those science-y people who just nod and continuously say he’s right without any substantial proof?”

At that, Logan’s head shot up. “…beg pardon?” Xe were a little stunned by the question being asked of him.

“Do you agree with Aristotle’s teachings, yes or no?” Virgil asked again, a tiny bit amused as he made the novelist react in such a way.

Xe cleared xyr throat, trying to regain some composure. “W-Well,” he stammered. “In the case of Aristotle…the man was usually wrong. A lot. Most of his descriptions of the natural world are some variety of incorrect,” xe tell him. “Looking past his blatant sexism, his understanding of motion and forces is wrong, is astronomy is wrong, a good portion of his biology is busted, and science has in fact suffered for it. For almost 2,000 years to be specific.”

The widower hummed. (Truth be told, he hated philosophy. It was basically a bunch of old guys trying to preach certain ethics and ideologies that would eventually become outdated and criticized.) Nevertheless, he wanted to know what Logan thought about it.

“However,” Logan continued, a glimmer of something sparkling in his eyes. “It wasn’t until the 1800s when the atom was officially declared A Thing, that people began to believe his contemporary, Democritus, as opposed to himself.” Xe snort. “Not to mention, according to Cicero, his prose was apparently a flowing river of gold…when it actually was not. And it was because of him that we not only lost science but also a catastrophic amount of classical literature.”

“So in actuality, his works are basically glorified lecture-notes from his students?” Virgil smirks faintly. “I guess you know now why we should’ve listened to Gorgias instead.”

“Gorgias?” Xe ask, looking at him incredulously. “The man was, excuse my Greek, a pathological pain the ass. He didn’t care for objective truth and stated that everything was a matter of opinion, which was always bendable.”

“Exactly!” Virgil smirks more. “Everything is a construct, therefore we tried and failed. So now all we need to do is to hide under the covers until the sun goes away.” With that, the widower takes his autographed book and begins to leave the store.

“Falsehood!” A screech came from behind him, making him jump. He turns around to see the novelist get up and stride over to him, a sharp look in his eyes. The widower immediately stood straighter. Damn…that glare reminds him of a certain someone that he does not wish to remember right now. “Just because Gorgias was able to obliterate Stephanos of Thebes with straw-man arguments and casual fallacies, does not mean you can, Diogenes the Cynic.”

Virgil blinked. “…Diogenes the Cynic?” he echoed.

“Yes,” Logan says. “A philosopher who believed that all Sophists were liars, the Philosophers were too pretentious, therefore taking immense pleasure in poking fun at their logic.”

The widower pondered thoughtfully. “…yep. That sounds like us just now.” A glint of wicked humor shone in his eyes as Logan just looked done with him. “But in all seriousness, Mx. Oxford. You have to realize that philosophy can be a bit asinine, right?”

Logan stayed silent for a moment before breathing out. “I suppose so,” xe states. “All of the big, complex ideas simply come from those who are fallible and prone to…ridiculousness. For every Plato’s Republic, there is a Diogenes urinating at a banquet table.”

“There you go,” Virgil laughs. “I hope you really didn’t get offended by what I said. I like presenting counterarguments just to see how people react.”

“No harm done. Although I must admit, while I don’t particularly enjoy socializing with others all that much,” Hard same. “I would like to talk to you more. Maybe about science-based media— or whatever it is you’re a fan of?”

Virgil nodded, smirking internally. “I don’t mind at all. In fact, I would like to challenge your claims on what you call cognitive distortions. As someone who has generalized anxiety, I wanna know what your psychology thinks about my over-reactionary mind.”

Logan hummed in interest. “Oh? I look forward to it then, Mr…?”

“Nyx. Virgil Nyx.”

“Mr. Nyx.” Named after the Roman Goddess of the Night, the novelist mused. Xe liked it. Xe scribbled something onto the back of a bookmark, handing it to Virgil. “Again, thank you very much for coming and I hope to communicate with you again soon.”

“See ya.”

With a finger salute, Virgil left the bookstore with a sigh of relief. He was quite glad that his anxiety didn’t make him look the a fool and that he was out of that atrocious place. He opened the book and saw the fancy penmanship of the novelist.

On the bookmark, was his phone number.

He smirked. Maybe he did succeed after all…

…

Patton listed as Logan finished telling him about xyr first meeting with Virgil. He had to admit, it was rather nice to not listen to any…graphic details about things he didn’t want to know, even if Roman told him in a vague manner.

“So how did you stay close with Virgil?” he asked, remembering the questions he presented Roman. “You gave him your number; did you call each other on the phone? Or did you both kept meeting at the bookstore.”

Logan shook xyrs head. “No. However, I would invite him out for some coffee if I was in the area. And every time we did so, we would always have little discussions that would turn into…not-so-little discussions after a period of time…”

Patton raised an eyebrow, smiling knowingly.

The novelist scowled. “We did not argue, if that is what you’re thinking! We…debated, that’s much more civil.” The confectioner giggled but allowed him to continue. “And, while I’m not a traditionally…emotional person…it was quite nice to have someone debate on certain subjects with me, even if they tended to hiss at me from time to time.”

Despite this slowly becoming a sad tale, Patton giggled again. He won’t lie, Virgil did act like a cat every once in a while. It was actually kinda cute (you know…despite the fact he murdered three people…).

“I would also take him to any conferences or panels that I would be invited to attend or speak at,” xe told him. “He would act as my plus one, if you will. I must admit, even if I could manage them on my own, it was…almost beneficial for me to have him around during those events.” Xe chuckled. “I say this despite the fact that he detested such things, as they tended to prompt his anxiety and cause him to rudely hiss whenever someone— and I quote— “reached his limits with stupid questions.” Not only that, he was not primarily invested in the actual subjects of said discussions and was more interested in the catering they served.”

That caused Patton to actually laugh. That also seems like something that Virgil would do, though he doesn’t blame him at all. In fact, if he were in his shoes, he would be a bit more curious in the food too.

Logan couldn’t help xyr lips from twitching upwards. “I shall confess, there were times where I myself have agreed with his sentiments.”

Unfortunately, the smiles and laughter had to end at some point.

“But what happened afterward?” Patton eventually asked. “What caused everything to go downhill?”

The little twitch of a smile instantly when back to a frown. The confectioner sees xem turn to grab a book that was suddenly on the table (when did that get there anyhow?). It was a very beautiful looking book: dark indigo in color with a title that he couldn’t quite make out, but he could see Logan’s name at the very top. Xe opened the book, flipping it to the very last pages before handing it to Patton.

‘ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS’ Baby blue eyes skimmed through the short paragraphs of text. Logan gave simple but kind words as xe thanked the people who helped xem achieve such a feat, such as his parents and former professors.

Then he followed to where the novelist had pointed a finger at.

“Lastly, I would like to give acknowledgments to my husband, Virgil Nyx.

While we have not known each other long, and have newly become married, but having your support throughout this journey was momentous for someone like me to complete this project. Your harsh and honest (almost too honest) criticisms of my work were what kept me going to make and achieve better than my means. And while I am not an emotional person, nor do I express my emotions often, I quiet enjoyed having your company while I wrote and rewrote my rough and final drafts… And I must thank you for bring me my favorite green teas and jellied biscuits whenever I hadn’t eaten or drank anything for hours on end.

This is the most I have genuinely praised someone so highly (and also a first), but it cannot be helped. I truly hope you see the appreciation and respect I fester for you.”

Patton couldn’t help but tear up. To Logan, they may appear simple, but they were also so beautiful.

“As you’ve read, by the time I had written my last book, Virgil had become my spouse.” Logan says. “We were married in a simple ceremony. Something that was vastly different from Roman’s grandiose nuptials.”

Patton giggled. It was amusing with how Logan was poking fun at Roman from beyond the grave. (In an almost magical way, he could almost hear an indignant noise in his ear).

“But,” Logan’s face grew sad, almost angry. “That did not last long, unfortunately. I had quickly fallen for Virgil’s rouses like the one before me. And, like him, I was met with an unfortunate end.” A deep, almost tired sigh. “To think, someone like him could have been two steps ahead of me in a metaphorical game of chess…I must say, it was truly a checkmate on his end.”

“Him murdering you, you mean?” Patton asked, fearing the answer Logan will give him. Silence. A very familiar silence.

Then, Logan nodded. “Yes. Although, poisoning is the correct terminology this time around.”

[nerdygaymormon]

The Expanded Role of Youth in the Church

I was asked to speak to all the holders of the Aaronic & Melchizedek priesthood in my stake about all the changes the church has made in recent years to the youth programs. I’m putting a copy of the talk here for myself. 

Plus I felt inspired to say something about being gay. It wasn’t in my original plans but the spirit said “what’s the point of having you in church if you don’t address this? No one in that room can speak to it like you can”

———————————————————————

An Analogy

Tonight’s organist is Brother Bradshaw. Brother Bradshaw, how would you respond if you received this message:

Hi. I am David and I need to learn how to play the organ before Saturday. My parents have been paying for me to get organ lessons every week for the last 6 years but I never actually attended any of the lessons and I spent the money on other stuff. Now they want me to play a Toccata by Bach at their wedding anniversary on Saturday.

If you can teach me, be here tomorrow at 11:00 am with a keyboard. I am a fast learner so I am pretty sure I will pick it up quickly.

That’s a ridiculous letter, right? 6 years of lessons and practicing can’t be replicated in a single day. Such a shortcut is not available for someone to gain the knowledge and develop the skills to play the piano beautifully. This is also true of things like learning to speak a language, become an agile athlete, a competent & expressive dancer, or a proficient lawyer.  

Putting in consistent effort over time is what brings skills and knowledge. The church experience of our youth has been changing so as to use these teenage years as a time of growth and training in the gospel and in leadership.

If you’re a dad, you should know that the church experience for your sons & daughters is different than it was for you and me. They are being asked to be an active participant in their faith and their religious experience, not just observers. When they turn 18 and are adults, they’ll be prepared to make positive contributions.

Christ already has shown us He has confidence in teens to do great things. As a church we’re showing confidence in our teenagers.

Jesus works with teens

Joseph Smith

How old was Joseph Smith when he had a vision in which God & Jesus visited him? 14.

How old was Joseph when an angel named Moroni appeared and told him about the Book of Mormon and where to find it? 17.

How old was Joseph when he was allowed to begin translating the Book of Mormon and essentially begin his life’s ministry? 21.

How old were Jesus’ twelve apostles?

When Jesus began His ministry at age 30, He chose 12 disciples. We know a little about them. We know 4 of them were fishermen, 1 was a tax collector. 2 were brothers. While we don’t know exactly how old they were, we have some clues as to their ages. Have you ever thought about how old the original apostles were when Jesus called them?

The temple tax

In Exodus 30:14-15, we learn that Jewish law was that every man over the age of 20 is to pay a half-shekel when they visit the temple. In Matthew 17:24-27, when Jesus and His disciples were headed to the temple, Jesus instructed Peter to catch a fish in order to pay this tax. Peter finds a shekel in the mouth of the fish he catches; enough to pay the temple tax for two men. That’s all that this group would owe. It’s an indication that 11 of the disciples were under the age of 20.

They were unmarried

We know that Peter had a wife because Jesus healed his mother-in-law (Matthew 8:14-15). In those times, a Jewish man receives a wife after the age of 18. Again, no other disciples’ wives are mentioned. So Peter was likely the eldest of the 12 apostles and owed the temple tax.

The use of the term “little ones”

Several times in the New Testament (Matthew 11:25, Luke 10:21, and John 13:33) Jesus calls his disciples little children; this term of endearment makes more sense if they were half his age.

The zeal and folly of youth

If it’s true that they were mostly teenagers, some of their comments and actions make more sense and fit well with the zeal, energy and goofiness of adolescence.

Expanded role of youth in the church

The sun seems so huge and bright to us and it’s obvious to place it as the most greatest object in the heavens. However, we now have the technology to compare it to other stars and find that it’s not particularly large or hot or bright compared to others. Our sun doesn’t need to be like other stars, it’s good as it is in its circumstances, especially to us on earth.  

Like the stars, we’re not all the same and trying to force us all to be the same will not bring us real happiness or fulfill our purposes.

Over the past 7 years the church has been inspired to dramatically change the church experience for the youth. I love that it now allows for a customization of lessons, experiences and goals to help us become the best “stars” that we can be.

Come, Follow Me

When I was growing up, there was a manual and the leaders just followed it, did whatever the next lesson was and covered all the points made in the manual’s lesson.

A big change occurred in 2013 when the youth implemented the Come, Follow Me style of lessons. By way of comparison, the adults only got it this year.

Come, Follow Me meant no more manual, it’s all online. The youth presidencies are asked to choose which lessons would most benefit their class or quorum. And the lessons have multiple components for the person teaching to choose what parts to include.

Come, Follow Me encouraged the youth to start teaching. A 12-year-old could be invited to prepare and share part of the lesson, a 17-year-old might be responsible for the entire lesson.

Part of Come, Follow Me is that we study at home. This year we’ve been doing New Testament, next year will be Book of Mormon. We study at home and we share things we learned on Sunday, or at seminary.

Family History

The next big change for youth was Family History.

When I was growing up, genealogy was something old people did. They came to the family history library and scrolled through microfiche, recorded info onto paper forms that they turned in to the temple.

Things moved online and it was clear youth would be more comfortable in this environment. Youth were encouraged to do “indexing,” which is looking at old records and typing the information so these records can be searched electronically.

They also were asked to work on their own family history and find ancestors who need temple work done.

Temple

When I was a youth, we usually took 1 or 2 trips to the temple with our ward to do baptism work. The bishop went on those trips and brought a list of names of youth who were allowed to participate, basically a one-time group recommend. It was essentially the ONLY time teenagers could go to the temple.  

Today, teenagers can have their own temple recommend! Their recommend is good for a year and they can choose to go multiple times to the temple. This month in General Conference, President Nelson announced some changes in the temple recommend questions. Youth now get asked the same questions as the adults.

To get a temple recommend, we meet with a member of the bishopric and he asks us these questions. A change from when I was a youth is that we don’t have to go in alone to see the bishop, or any other leader. This past Thursday I accompanied a friend when they met with their stake president. I wish more people felt comfortable doing this, asking someone to come along.

If you’re in an interview and anything said is making you feel uncomfortable, it is perfectly fine to ask if he should be asking about that or to ask if you could invite another adult to join you. Having someone else there is for your benefit, and it also protects the bishop. It’s a good practice.  

When I was a teen and went on ward trips to do baptisms, the temple provided the names of people for us to do their work. Today, youth are encouraged to do temple work for their own ancestors and can bring the names they find while doing family history work.

When I was a teenager, the only thing I could do at the temple was be baptized and be confirmed. Today someone who is a priest can baptize others. Any person with a recommend, including youth, can serve as witnesses.

Ministering

A few years ago we replaced Home Teaching and Visiting Teaching with Ministerng. The young men & young women are invited to participate. They have a role to play. Their presence makes a difference.  

Age

It’s been many decades since the Church last jiggered with the ages for when people could be put in the different offices of the priesthood. This year a change took place, we might even have an 11-year-old here tonight with us. A year ago everyone would’ve been 12 or older.

Missionaries

It used to be that to serve a mission, young men had to be age 19 and young women age 21. A few years ago that changed. Young men have the option of starting a mission at age 18 and the young women at age 19. Let me emphasize, this is an option, some people do better with a year or two of life experience out of high school. But this younger age is a testament to the preparation that today’s youth are receiving.

Some important changes in the mission experience has occurred. Sister missionaries get to be leaders, that wasn’t the case when I served.

When I was a missionary, I was allowed to make 2 phone calls home per year. Now missionaries can skype home each week. That’s a huge blessing for them and for their families. I’m actually jealous of that. And why do they get to call home? Because they have a positive impact on their families.

Not everyone is able to serve a traditional proselyting mission, and that’s okay. There’s plenty of opportunities to serve and now Service Missions are available. These can be customized to fit the capabilities of the missionary. It’s wonderful that more faithful members are able to serve and receive the blessings of dedicating their time to the Lord.

Duty to God and Personal Progress

At the end of the year Duty to God and Personal Progress are being retired. The new program is youth will choose their own goals to work towards in 4 areas:  Spiritual, Social, Physical and Intellectual. This allows for customization for where each youth is at and what their interests are.

Also, Boy Scouts isn’t the official mid-week activity for young men. Now we have flexibility to plan activities that can meet the needs & interests of the young men.

Presidencies

I have a story, when I was a teenager, we got a new quorum president. The leaders explained that he held the priesthood keys for the quorum and the adults were there to help him. This new president said, “So I’m in charge? Okay, then we’re done with Scouting. Who votes of favor of ditching Scouts?” All the young men voted to end it. The leaders stepped in and said, this isn’t how it works. They would continue planning our Scouting activities and teaching the lessons on Sunday.

On paper the quorum president was in charge, but in reality it was the Young Men Presidency. The adults decided everything of any importance.

Guess what? President Nelson in General Conference announced no more ward young men presidencies, they will all be released by the end of the year. So who is responsible for the young men? The young men & the bishopric.

What does this mean?

In presidency meeting the bishopric trains and mentors the quorum presidency. The young men will learn about their responsibilities and be coached in how to be better at them.

They’ll review the purpose of a quorum, such as teaching, doing service, building unity and spreading the gospel. And they’ll plan activities related to these things.

The presidency will discuss each member of the quorum. They can discuss what is going on in the lives of the quorum members, what their interests are, things they struggle with.

With this in mind, the presidency chooses the lessons that the quorum or class will study on Sundays, and plans mid-week activities. The adults will help the young men think through the details of planning activities, what needs to be done, making assignments, and so on.

The ward young women presidency isn’t being eliminated, but they will follow the same model as the young men with the bishopric

Conclusion

At baptism we covenanted to take Christ's name upon us. Part of that is building community with other believers, and also doing things that Christ would do. That includes looking out for others, seeking to lift the burdens of others.

There are many circumstances we can be aware of and adjust our lessons & activities to accommodate them. I’ll give you two examples.

If we have someone who’s on the autism spectrum in our quorum and they’re sensitive to loud noise, we need to be mindful of that as we plan our activities, we don’t want to exclude them or cause them stress. 

Most of you know I’m gay, if you know a member of the class is gay, give them a heads up about a lesson or activity that revolves around dating & celestial marriage, trust me that this is likely a sensitive subject for them. It gives them the choice to participate or avoid what could be a hard time.

We need to make sure our youth know they are loved, they are heard and seen, they are understood. The focus of our youth program is meeting the needs of the youth so they can grow in the gospel in a way that works for them.

A lot is being asked of our teens

Over the past decade, more is asked of teenagers in the church and they are showing they are capable. Jesus showed faith in youth, we are following His example in giving youth more opportunities to lead, teach and develop their abilities.

Testimony

I’ve been fortunate to have involvement with the youth of our stake over the past 7 years. 3 years were as a member of the stake young men presidency and 4 just because they keep inviting me to participate in youth conferences, mini-MTC’s, dances, and so on.

I have found this generation to be remarkable in several ways.

They are far more tolerant. They accept others and allow people to express differences in how their appearance and dress. They are much better at inclusion than my generation.

They are service oriented. They like doing service and seek out opportunities. They would much rather go and do good in the world than sit in a class hearing about doing good in the world. They are more conscious that there are people with needs who they can assist.

They can tell when someone is fake, they highly value trust and authenticity.  

They have the potential for greatness. There is plenty of work to do in the Lord’s kingdom and they’re capable of joining in the work. Serving them and serving with them has strengthened my testimony.

[decaffeinatedcoffeekitten-blog1]

Work in Progress

(I’m sorry if I don't catch all of the times that Timpa was autocorrected to Tampa)

I was inspired to write this after seeing posts on reddit saying that no one cared about Tony Timpa because he was white, and seeing how on the wikipedia page for Police brutality in the United States, Tony Timpa’s name was shoehorned in a paragraph about May 2020. 

Timpa was a victim of police brutality, he deserves to be treated with respect instead of having his murder used as justification for pushing a racist agenda.

I’m copying and pasting the paragraph: In May 2020, the issue of police brutality saw a surge in public response following the police killing of George Floyd. Protests occurred nationwide and internationally beginning in Minneapolis, Minnesota on May 26, 2020. In 2016, Tony Timpa was killed in the same way in Dallas.[26]

That is the laziest thing I have ever seen, it doesn't even flow. It doesn't mention it happened in August 2016, It happened chronologically before George Floyd was killed so why is it after talking about Floyd. Further more it says that Timpa was killed in the same way, I don't remember reading news articles that said the police were on Timpa’s neck for 14minutes, I only remember reading how police were holding him face down with a knee on his back. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/aug/02/dallas-police-officers-video-bodycam-tony-timpa

Heres a link to a picture of Timpa that the Timpa’s family lawyer says that Floyd probably has similar (but not exact) marks on his body.: https://twitter.com/geoff_henley/status/1268182203919405056?s=20

I highlighted a better location where it would made sense to insert information about Timpa’s murder in the same wikipedia page. It seems like someone just wanted to use Timpa’s murder for not a good reason, but if they did any effort whatsoever they could have also mentioned that mentally ill people are likely to be victims of police violence but they didn't mention how Timpa called the police for help and told the operator that he had schizophrenia and didn't take his medication.

If someone claims that no one cared about Tony Timpa I think they are being disingenuous, ignorant and appears to be trying to further a racist agenda. Just look at how many people cared here: https://twitter.com/ESOP_STL/status/1156586732302798850?s=20

In 2019, I was at the dentist getting cavities filled when I watched Vicki Timpa on the news. She was talking about finally getting the bodycam footage released after 3 years of fighting in court to get justice for her son. Timpa was a real person who deserves justice, not to be used as an example to shut the people up who talking about police brutality. https://dfw.cbslocal.com/2019/08/02/tony-timpa-mother-reacts-dallas-police-video-son-death/ 

Before writing this I only knew about happened was that Timpa called the police for help and that he was murdered by in a horrific way. 

I’m not sure why I’m adding this since some people keep claiming that no cared (or cares) about Timpa because he was white but Timpa’s birthday was June 5, 1984, his murder occured on August 10, 2016, and his middle name was Alan. He grew up in Rockwall. He loved model trains as a boy and became a popular football player in high school. https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/dallas-police-officers-under-investigation-following-death-of-unarmed-man/40744/

Three officers from the Dallas Police Department were involved when Timpa was killed in August 2016. https://www.boston.com/news/national-news/2019/08/01/police-laughed-and-joked-as-he-lost-consciousness-in-handcuffs-minutes-later-he-died 

When people bring up Timpa to complain that people didn’t care because he was white, I haven’t seen a lot of them also mention that Timpa had schizophrenia. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/vb54bx/this-video-shows-a-mentally-ill-man-who-called-the-police-for-help-now-hes-dead

So why are they just bringing up the white “angle” instead of pointing out that mentally ill people are common victims of police violence?

Did you know his mother’s name is Vicki Timpa? Did she not care? So, whenever someone says that no one cared because he was white, you are intentionally ignoring his mother crying in press conferences, you’re ignoring how she suffered through a lawsuit (honestly, I’m not sure if it should be considered as multiple lawsuits but that doesn’t detract from my point) and had to fight for 3 years until the footage was released.

https://www.courtlistener.com/docket/13515242/timpa-v-the-city-of-dallas/ This link to the court history shows a fraction of how much Vicki Timpa cared about her son. 

What I'm saying to the people who claim that no one cared about Tampa because he was white: You might be going “yeah, why does that matter, it was just his mother, she’s supposed to care, but I was just referring to the people protesting with and involved with Black Lives Matter”.

My reply is that saying “no one cared” is literally incorrect and ignores everyone who spent YEARS fighting to get the bodycam footage released. The whole reason why we have the horrific footage of Timpa being killed is because someone CARED.

Do you want to know what Vicki Tampa said YEARS before the video was released:

"Why can't they take their badge? Why can't they turn in their badge? Why can't they call me? Why can't they make me whole? Why?" she asked, as tears streamed down her face. "I will keep going until I get those answers." source: https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/dallas-police-officers-under-investigation-following-death-of-unarmed-man/40744/

I want everyone to respect Timpa’s family privacy but other evidence of someone “caring” is how on a complaint filed in District Court on November 3, 2016, Vicki Timpa is listed as a “next friend of K.T., a minor child”, so it sounds like Timpa had more than one family member who “cared”. So, that’s at least two people who “cared”. Please don’t be rude and dismiss Timpa’s family by saying that no one cared. source: https://www.courtlistener.com/docket/13515242/1/timpa-v-the-city-of-dallas/ 

Have you ever heard of Cary Aspinwell? She is a reporter who has been publishing about Timpa since at least 2017, I think she might care about Timpa since she acknowledged Timpa’s birthday yesterday on June 5.

The Dallas Morning News, Inc. “cared” enough to “respectfully request that the Court” … to “direct the clerk to file TDMN’s amicus brief at that time.” 

Amicus curiae means “friend of the court”, so that means that a major newspaper cared enough about what happened to Tony Timpa to want to file a brief with the court, as a 3rd party. So, anyone who says that no cared seems to be saying that newspapers just pay lawyers for fun. https://twitter.com/caryaspinwall/status/1156543499958935558?s=20

I think it’s safe to assume that Geoff Henley cares too. Henley is the attorney who represented the Timpa family, I think its very possible that Henley can take a job that is more profitable. I admit this is a very low bar but Henley might care about what happened to Timpa since he still tweets about Timpa. https://twitter.com/geoff_henley?lang=en

It was kind of sad how on June 5, 2020 I saw people using Timpa’s name to say that no one cared when police killed a white person, but  from the people who posted things like that, I didn’t see any birthday tributes talking about wanting justice for Timpa at the same time. To be clear I’m not claiming that there wasn’t any or that no one cared about Timpa’s life.

Other evidence that people cared about what happened to Timpa was that Dallas officers claim that they got death threats after the video was released. https://www.wfaa.com/article/news/dallas-police-officers-receive-death-threats-after-viral-video-of-in-custody-death/287-8067c53c-f9e2-46cb-a531-ee1466770512

I’m tired of seeing people use Tony Timpa’s name to further their agenda to try to further divide people, which I honestly don’t really understand why when Timpa’s murder should be used as a reason why no one is safe against police brutality, so everyone should be against police brutality.

Timpa’s murder by the Dallas Police Department shouldn’t be used to distract people into being against Black Lives Matter, it should be used to say that we can’t forget about any victim of police brutality. Timpa’s murder is as an example of when police departments get away with murder with minimal or no consequences.

What happened: Timpa was the one who called the police the night he was held down for 14 minutes and died. I want to mention that he was handcuffed while being held down.

The three officers from the Dallas Police Department involved are Keven Mansell, Danny Vasquez and Dustin Dillard. They were indicted in 2017 on charges of misdemeanor deadly conduct, but the Dallas County District Attorney John Creuzot dismissed the charges in March 2019.

I don’t understand how the police managed to kill Timpa when he was already handcuffed by private security guards before they arrived on the scene. It sounds like this should have been an easy night but someone still died.

Mike Mata, the president of the Dallas Police Association, said the officers are not to blame.

In my mind, it makes logical sense that if you have bad performance on your job then it makes sense to get fired, they weren’t fired, in fact Dallas spent $11 million in ONLY five years to settle more than 20 lawsuits against police. https://www.insurancejournal.com/news/southcentral/2017/08/16/461283.htm

If someone believes in government fiscal responsibility, then they should be against protecting police officers who make cities waste so much money because of unneeded violence.

My impression is that the Dallas Police Department only wanted to protect officers from consequences.:

“On the eight-minute recording, the head of the disciplinary hearing says that if the officers learned something from the incident they'll probably be able to continue as city police. They then received written reprimands.

"I personally believe you guys are better than that," the commander said. "But I still need you on the force. So if you learned something from it, most likely we can move forward from here."”

Source: https://www.ctvnews.ca/world/dallas-officers-jokes-during-deadly-arrest-were-strategy-1.4535309 

I have a question for everyone who brings up Timpa to point out some so-called “hypocrisy”: Have you ever heard of Eric Garner, Kelvion Walker, Genevive Dawes, Deborah Danner, Tony McDade, Atatiana Jefferson, Willie McCoy, Sandra Bland, Bartholomew Williams, Spencer Mims III, Christian Chavez (killed in 2012 at age 18), and so many other people.

A small-time newspaper named The New York Times wrote about Timpa. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/01/us/tony-timpa-dallas-police-body-cam.html

When someone says that no one cared about Timpa because he was white, are they saying that Vicki Timpa didn’t care?

I’ve seen people who are using Timpa’s name in their bad faith nonsensical statements that no one cared that he died because he was white. How is it possible that statement is relevant? We should this time to shine a bright light on every victim of police brutality, not use another victim to try to shut down people who are trying to advocate against police brutality.

On the website of Black Lives Matter, it says their “mission is to eradicate white supremacy and build local power to intervene in violence inflicted on Black communities by the state and vigilantes.” Also, on their website it says that: “We work vigorously for freedom and justice for Black people and, by extension, all people.” 

If someone feels uncomfortable with the statement that “white supremacy should not exist” then they should examine why they feel so insecure. Timpa shouldn’t be used as an example of why someone should be critical of today’s protestors who were galvanized by the murder of George Floyd.

In my impression, people have brought up Timpa’s murder to say that the Black community is full of hypocrites because they didn’t protest police brutality after three officers from the Dallas Police Department murdered Timpa. 

If anyone feels that way then they should protest for Tony Timpa right now instead of complaining about people who want to make sure what happened to Timpa doesn't happen to anyone else.

Also, I think it's relevant to point out that a lot of people are unemployed right now so they have more time to protest and organize themselves.

And if someone is complaining about why did they not protest after Timpa died, are you criticizing Vicki Timpa? (I honestly don't know if she organized protests), 

Or are they trying to say that Vicki Timpa didn’t do enough to get justice for her son after she got the body cam footage released after 3 YEARS of trying?

Vicki Timpa still cares, and she's doing more for his memory then people using the murder of her son as an excuse for racism. https://starlocalmedia.com/rowlettlakeshoretimes/news/tri-east-naacp-launches-movement-to-get-controversial-restraint-method-removed/article_c424b738-a478-11ea-93f6-3bea447001ae.html 

[rahabs]

You def come off like you know what you're doing lol, it's very inspiring. I think it's neat you fell into law school! I'm starting to consider it now too; it's been a running joke in my family that I would become a lawyer but I fought hard Bc I thought there was only criminal law; now I'm thinking I might go into business law! I have no idea how that will go, though, but I have a few years to really decide (I'm 19, undergrad). What are the LSATs like/should I expect?

!!!  Oh my gosh, thank you!  I am really just?  Taking things as they come?  I’m a highly adaptive, very “roll with the punches” type of person.  I definitely don’t feel like I have everything together but once I latch onto something I latch on with all my teeth.

That was me as well!  My whole life people told me I should be a lawyer and I, a consummate professional in being difficult when people tell me what to do, basically went absolutely not, don’t tell me what to do, nerr nerr nerr.  Turns out other people can be right sometimes.

Full disclaimer: I spent very little time thinking about the LSAT, and my advice likely won’t work for or be applicable to most people, but basically it’s just one big ol’ reading comprehension test, with some problem solving and a small essay thrown in--at least in Canada.  English was always my best subject (well that and algebra/polynominal-based maths) though, and reading comprehension was something I’ve scored ridiculously high in since I was a child.  I’m also an insanely fast reader (”reading multiple full-length novels in one day”-type speed) so for me it was more a test of patience?  The whole test I’m sitting here rolling my eyes going “that is the most needlessly complicated, roundabout way to word this sentence.”  My advice is make sure your reading comprehension is good and also make sure you have a good, solid vocabulary, because again, most of the questions sound like the person writing them had a thesaurus right next to them so that they could pick the most needlessly complicated word.  If you’re worried, run practice tests with yourself.  I didn’t, because I suck, and went into the LSAT completely blind, but.  Yes.  I talked to people afterwards who prepped for years which I honestly thought was silly because you really don’t need to be prepping that far in advance for what is essentially a reading comprehension test, unless your English is poor.

I never bought an LSAT prep book either, so I can’t speak to their effectiveness, but I know a few of my friends did.  My biggest advice though is just.  Relax.  It’s not as scary as people make it out to be, and if you go in flustered then the test will seem insurmountable.  Remember that the LSAT is more a test of your patience and ability to parse through written text than anything else.  You get a couple free retakes, so if you mess up the first time, just take it again.  I only took it once, but I’m convinced that part of the reason I scored so decently on what amounts to almost zero prep/studying was the fact that I walked in with a very relaxed attitude.  Have a contingency plan, and remember that law is something you can always come back to.  One of my best friends in my cohort is a grandmother.  Most of my friends have children, and already had careers.  So just remember to breathe, remember to relax.  It seems like the be-all end-all but it isn’t, so just don’t let other people’s anxieties over the LSAT poison your mindset and make you more nervous and anxious than you need to be.

Obviously I wouldn’t necessarily recommend doing what I did, which was, em.  Nothing, largely because I again did not care when I took the LSAT since I was already on my way to Ireland--and was in Ireland gearing up for the beginninng of my M.Phil by the time I got my results.  But at the same time I don’t think the level of obsession people devote to it is necessary.  Brush up on your reading comprehension (which honestly you can do just by reading a lot in general), practice writing essays by hand in a short amount of time if that’s something you struggle with, and also I would actually recommend practicing the problem-solving aspects of the LSAT.  It’s one section, but, em.  So what I did is that I knnew my reading comp would be good enough to carry me through the rest of the test, so when I got to that part of the LSAT I worked through it until the five minute warning (you get thirty minutes for each section--four sections I believe, plus the essay--and you cannot go back once those thirty minutes have passed) whereupon I just bubbled in random shit.  It worked.

However, I wouldn’t do it again, and if I had to go back and practice one thing it would be that section, because physically it takes me longer to write things, so I would have paced that better.

But!  Yes!  Expect a massive room of competetive, highly stressed people.  Try not to let their anxiety get to you.  I abhor that sort of competition so it was easy for me to ignore, thankfully, because I honestly could not care less about whatever it was these random strangers were doing.  Review your vocab, up your reading comp, maybe practice some of the problem-solving aspects, and just make sure you have water and food and supplies.  Remember to breathe.  It’s not the end of the world and you can come back at literally any time.  And if you ever need help like feel free to hit me up!  I’m an odd duck in this process but somehow my ridiculous dumb ass made it to a top Canadian law school (I was actually accepted into a couple), so you can do it.  And don’t believe a bunch of the rumours you hear, either.  Most people in law are friendly and very happy to help, and the ones who aren’t worth yours or anyone else’s time.  The LSAT is, imo, a bit of a waste of time, but just think of it as a test of patience, as you will need that patience and that reading comp when slogging your way through case briefs and speeches from judge’s who clearly missed their callings as Charles Dickens’ yes-men.

All the best to you!  I hope this helped!

[ashandboneca]

Stories from the Bookshop

This post is inspired by my iTunes library, who decided tonight was the night, after years and years, to play the Best of Pagan Song. 

Once upon a time, I worked in an occult/pagan bookstore. I spent a little over 7 years there, and were they still open, I would likely still be there. 

I was hired when I was 25, and when I was 27 I was promoted to assistant manager. It was owned by a mother/daughter team. A lot of people talk about terrible retail jobs, talk about how much they hated their bosses and the customers, how boring it was, etc. Even people who worked at the same job prior warned me - the owners were mean and unreasonable, the job sucked, it was miserable.

I honestly cannot say this is the truth for me. I actively loved my job. I took a lot of pride in what I did. I got along well with my bosses - they were a particular sort, but so is everyone, and so was I. They seemed to value me. They took my ideas and implemented them, they supported me when I wanted to spread my wings, and they trusted me. 

Mostly, I viewed what I did as a service. I gave advice and recommendations, I listened to people’s needs. I got to know people, and got to know about their lives and their problems, and I actually cared a lot for the people I was helping. While my job was to sell, I didn’t recommend anything to someone that they didn’t need. I didn’t upsell. I didn’t cajole people into buying things they didn’t need. I acted as a resource, and encouraged people to educate themselves so they were better armed for their next visit. I dealt with prison chaplains who wanted us to fulfill orders and give recommendations for their incarcerated pagans, and sometimes spoke to prisoners over the phone to advise and build orders.

That said, there’s always a few who cross the line. These are their stories, based on my recollection. Don’t be these people.

 - There was the suave motherfucker, who tried to pick up on every woman younger than him. He was a handsome man, with Ted Bundy charisma. He’d walk around the corner of the stone area, and try to ‘run into’ his target. He’d do some bullshit PUA move to secure the woman’s Facebook info. He marketed himself as some kind of spiritual guru, but he always pissed all of us off. His particular brand of bullshit was super obvious to us veterans of festivals and public ritual. We constantly tried to run interference. My boss was savage, she would just walk up to the woman and him and tell him she didn’t want to talk to him, and maybe he should go finalize his (usually very small or non-existent) purchase. So many people got taken in my him. I don’t know what ever happened to him.

- There was the blind man who sexually harassed me, who was so taken with the sound of my voice over the phone that he told me (someone half his age) that he would like to ride me, and test my strength. He then would come in to buy his herbs and ask for me. Since he only knew my voice, I would hide in the back, and my boss would tell him I was gone for the day. He came in to ask for my schedule so he could come back and see if I was interested. I used to see him on the bus, but he never noticed me.

- There was the man who, seeing I was wearing a metal T-shirt, advised me that wearing that meant I wanted him to bend me over and fuck me in the ass. I kicked his ass out and banned him. Fuck off.

- There was the woman who borderline stalked all of the staff on Facebook. She would send friend requests once a week. I eventually had to block her, because it got borderline creepy.

- There was the man who advised me loudly that Beltane was a German holiday, and that they still sacrificed people to the fires. Really, sir? I’m pretty sure if Gunther or Hedwig didn’t come home from the Beltane fires, that would be in the news. 

- There was the woman, who on my third day on the job, told me that prior to chakra therapy she had a lot of vaginal dryness, but now she’s just gushing. All the time. And she went into great detail. Madam, I don’t recall the M.D after my name. I don’t need the wet, slick details. I work in a bookstore, not a gyno office.

- There was the woman who sang all the time. ALL. THE TIME. She would go around, and regardless of what was going on, she would sing. Loudly. Sometimes she would add interpretive dance. I get being taken in by the energy of a place, but there is a time and place. Don’t perform your ecstatic dance in the middle of my store, because it’s rude to all the people who came into the store not expecting your energy radiating all over the damn place. Plus, there are tarot readings going on at the back. Keep it down!

- There was the woman, who was the head of a local pagan group, asking if she could pay for prominent placement on our cork board of events, for her group’s ritual. She would constantly kick a stink up if we didn’t put it up in the middle of the board, regardless of what was there (including our own classes and events). My boss was flabbergasted. She also came in and allowed her small child to run around unchecked. She drove me fucking nuts. The woman turned out to be a massive white supremacist, so I don’t feel bad for often placing her flyer passive-aggressively at the bottom of the wall in the overflow area.

- Lastly, there was the large family of 1 mother and 7 children who came in. They started handling the fragile things, even with multiple signs up asking to ask for assistance. When I asked her not to allow the children to handle the fragile items as they may break, she stopped in place. She very slowly turned toward me, looking startled, and replied that I had now said it, so I would be at fault for it happening. Uh wut. Hard nope, lady. Eventually had to ask her to leave.

Retail workers in your local shops are generally not the following: doctors, therapists, probation officers, babysitters, libraries, or lawyers. Please behave like an adult. While generally alternative spirituality leads to alternative customers, it’s not an excuse to behave as strangely, abusively, or creepily as possible. Just don’t. Proprietors are often small business owners and often overworked. They barely have time to respond to emails, they are not in it for your bullshit.

There are more stories, of course. There were bad coworkers. The coworker who was legit unbalanced, tried to get me fired (backfired, as I was not fucking unbalanced) and left her husband and child to be with her online lover. The one who tried to start a shitload of drama and then quit via text message. The one who tried to constantly smack talk another worker so she would get more shifts (which didn’t work). The cranky tarot reader who got mad at me when I had a cold. The crazy reader who lost her shit at me on the phone, tried to get me fired, and then called in sick all the time at the last minute. 

There were also great stories; the dedicated workers we did have who put their heart and soul into what amounted to a retail job. The weekly customers who were a joy to talk to. The readers who had their regular customers. The joy expressed by so so many people at the shop’s very existence. The satisfaction I felt every single time someone told me I had helped them or made a difference.That is what made the job worth it.

[santoteez]

In The Bronx- Hongjoong (6)

Part: 6 of 7

Genre: Drugdealer!Hongjoong, Drugdealer! SeonghwaAU, Eventual Fluff

Word Count:  2.5k

Requested: no

Warnings: MC is a black female, swearing, Hongjoong’s brother is inspired by Mingi, mentions of abuse and police corruption

NOTE: This fic does NOT, in any way, shape, or form, portray the way I view any member of Ateez nor does it depict their true personalities or actions. This AU is just that. An AU.

Santana stared at the window, watching the snowfall onto the streets. It had now been 3 months since Hongjoong was taken into custody, but she remembered that day like it was yesterday.

*flashback*

The address Seonghwa had sent was to the new warehouse. The location was noticeably smaller, but the crew resumed their work as if nothing happened. As they suspected, the old place was raided. A raid in which nothing was found, damaging the Coca Twins’ credibility. They tried multiple times to convince the police of Seonghwa’s involvement, but with their lack of home security cameras and the solidity of Seonghwa’s alibi, it was impossible to incriminate him. They were several people (all of who were friends of Hongjoong’s) vouched for him being at his “job” at Panera. There was even video footage. Of course, the video was several months old, but the police didn’t need to know that.

Santana and Minjoon were escorted to the back office upon arrival. Seonghwa locked the door when they walked in, gesturing for them to sit. This office was much more put together, with brand new furniture and white carpet.

“How’s he looking?” Seonghwa sat down behind the desk.

“He hasn’t slept, that’s for sure,” Minjoon said. “I feel like shit. Has he always been that tired and I just never saw it? So many times he could’ve gotten killed while I was sleeping.” He ran his hand through his hair.

“Don’t think like that. That’s the last thing HJ would want. It’s the reason he never told you. He wanted you to have the childhood he didn’t.” Seonghwa said, shutting down Minjoon’s worries immediately. “Anyway, I called you over here because I found out-”

He was interrupted by Santana’s phone ringing. “Someone’s calling me private.”

Seonghwa stood up. “Answer it. It might be him.”

Santana answered. “Hello?”

“You have an incoming call from an inmate at Sing Sing Correctional Facility. The inmate calling is *Kim Hongjoong*. To accept the charges and connect the call, press 5.”

“It’s him. It’s him!” Santana shouted, dialing in the number. The phone went silent for just a second until she heard Hongjoong’s voice.

“Baby, I miss you.”

“HJ, I miss you too.” She sighed in relief.

“Listen, is Minjoon there?”

“Yeah, he’s here. So is Dragon.”

“Yeah? Put me on speaker.”

“Okay.” She removed the phone from her ear and put it on speaker, the hustle and bustle of the prison filling the silent room.

“Minjoon. Dragon.”

Seonghwa walked over to the other side of the table. “We’re here.”

“I need y’all to listen to me. Bianchi is crooked, man. The public defender, too. I spoke to her earlier, and she said she wanted me to confess to the Paredes case for a reduced sentence.” His voice was muffled from speaking directly into the receiver.

“Is he nearby? Is that why you’re whispering?” Seonghwa asked.

“Yeah,” Hongjoong said, much clearer now.

“Don’t say anything else. Luckily, that’s why I called Santana over. I’m already ten steps ahead of you.”

“Minjoon, you listening?”

“Yeah, what’s up?

“Keep going to school. Remember you wondered why I forced you to get your license but never let you take the car? This is why. Drive yourself, and drive Santana to work. If there’s a party, I’m not telling you to not go because that will raise suspicion BUT make sure Santana and Seonghwa know where you are. For fuck's sake, buy a portable charger because I know your phone dies every other second. And wash your damn clothes! Coming here to see me in a shirt I saw you in two days ago. I don’t spend money at the mall for you to walk around musty.”

Minjoon rolled his eyes. “This is also not the time to talk about this, but alright.”

“You should get going, HJ. You’ve been on the phone for a while. I’m sure you’re almost up. I’m gonna head up that way to see you in the morning. We’ll talk then.”

“Alright, bro. I’ll see you then. Santana, take the phone off speaker. Lemme talk to you real quick.”

Santana placed the phone to her ear. “Yeah?”

“You know I love you, right?”

“And I love you.”

“I don’t have much time, but I had to tell you that. I know you never wanted to be with a jailbird, but I need you to hold me down while I’m in here. Even if you wake up one day and think I’m gross and disgusting, please don’t leave Minjoon alone. I know he’s over there saying he’s grown and shit, but he’s just a kid and I don’t want him doing this alone. Please, tana.”

“I wouldn’t leave either of you. No matter how long it takes, I’m gonna be right here.”

“Let’s go, inmate. Time’s up.”

“I’ll come see you as much as I can! I love you.” Santana shouted.

“I love you, too,” Hongjoong said before the call cut off.

*end*

Three months later, she kept her word. Every day, she was dropped off to work by Minjoon, who picked her up after doing homework or before heading to a party. She’d attend his games and ignore the ridiculous claims that she was his girlfriend. Although she didn’t need it, Seonghwa provided them with money and the occasional grocery shopping. Santana and Minjoon visited Hongjoong as much as they could and waited for his call every night. Minjoon got a weekend job at the local diner, cursing himself for not thinking of getting a job before.

Seonghwa continued to run the warehouse, as well as collect evidence on Bianchi and Sarah. Turns out, the pair had been terrorizing not only the neighborhood of Soundview but the entire borough of The Bronx. Everyone Seonghwa spoke to knew at least three people who were fucked over by them, and each of those three people know more people. Upon his findings, Hongjoong refused to work any further with Sarah and requested to hire his own lawyer for the trial. Seonghwa found the best lawyer in New York City who, after carefully reviewing his evidence, decided to request a mistrial due to police corruption.

“Are you ready?” Santana asked Seonghwa. The day of the trial had finally arrived, and they were about to head into the courtroom to hear Hongjoong’s fate.

“I should be asking you. You look like you’re about to jump out of your skin.” Seonghwa laughed. “He’s gonna be fine. We’ve got a solid case. C’mon. Minjoon, we’re going in.”

As the trio was about to enter, they locked eyes with the Coca Twins. Daedae and Nunu turned their heads quickly as their eyes averted Santana’s worried gaze and Seonghwa’s icy glare.

Once they were all in the courtroom, the bailiff addressed them.

“Please rise, the honorable Judge Johnson is now presiding.” A short, black woman entered the room. “You may be seated.” He said once she was seated.

“Case #157, Claremont vs. Kim. The charge is attempted murder.” The bailiff handed Judge Johnson the case folder.

“Mr. Kim, how do you plead?”

Hongjoong’s lawyer spoke up. “Not guilty, Your Honor. As a matter of fact, the defense requests a mistrial due to police corruption and tampering with evidence.”  

Gasps and murmurs were heard throughout the courtroom and the Coca Twins looked at each other in despair.

“On what basis do you support these claims, Attorney?”

“The defense team and I have conducted a private investigation along with Mr. Kim’s longtime friend, Park Seonghwa, which was approved by the lieutenant and commander. Over the course of three months, there has been evidence collected which proves that the arresting officer, Carlo Bianchi, has been wrongfully incriminating the people of The Bronx alongside his partner, Anthony Manganiello, as well as District Attorney Sarah Fawcett. May I present to the court Exhibit A.” A surveillance tape was pulled up on a TV. “Here, at 10:40, we have my client, Kim Hongjoong, exiting the Claremont residence. Note his calm demeanor and lack of a weapon. This behavior is not common of an individual who’s just failed to kill the persons they intended to. Here at 10:50, we see Officer Bianchi arrive at the scene. Not only is he out of uniform, after reviewing the schedule with the lieutenant, it has been confirmed that Bianchi was also off the clock. We see him walking through the same gate my client just walked out of, touching it without gloves and therefore tampering with what is supposed a crime scene. So, if Officer Bianchi responded to a call as severe as attempted murder without his partner, off-duty AND without securing the crime scene, who could’ve possibly dispatched this call? Easy. No one. See, the police were never called and an official report was never made. In the eyes of the law, there’s no possible way Bianchi could’ve known of the crime or gotten there so quickly.”

Santana's mouth fell agape in disbelief. This was far more than she had suspected. There was evidence even Seonghwa had failed to tell her.

“Exhibit B. The injuries inflicted on the Claremonts. Here we see the shoulders of Timothy and the hands and wrists of Clarence. All badly bruised and tattered. There’s only one problem. Here are the hands and arms of my client.” She pulled up another picture. “This photo is an enhancement of his mugshot. His hands have not one sign of strenuous activity, much less indication he beat anyone up. These pictures were taken less than 24 hours apart. According to the medical examiner, in order for those injuries to have been made by Kim Hongjoong, there would have to be some type of defense wounds on him as well. Do you know who did have signs of a fight visible to the eye? Officer Bianchi. The same man who arrived at the Claremont residence almost instantly after my client, as well as the man who falsified a police report for a crime that did not take place. They entered my client’s house without a warrant and slammed him into the ground in front of his girlfriend of almost two years, possibly scarring her from such a traumatic event. May I also mention, Your honor, that this isn’t a first offense. In our investigation, we have discovered dozens of citizens who were victims at the hands of Officer Bianchi and DA Fawcett. Here are our findings.” The lawyer handed Judge Johnson a folder.

At this point, the Coca twins are sweating through their suits. Sarah’s face was beet-red, and the court was at the end of their seats, as was the jury.

“My final, and possibly most incriminating piece of evidence. This is video footage from DA Fawcett’s first meeting with my client before he blatantly refused to meet with her and requested a switch.”

The lawyer played the tape and the jury watched in disgust as Fawcett’s spiel about Hongjoong as well as the people of the Bronx was exposed for all to hear.

“Note how DA Fawcett makes her stereotypical belief of Bronx citizens clear to Mr. Kim. A true defender of justice shouldn’t see race, background, or education as a factor when trying to portray the truth. As Mr. Kim stated in the clip, he was nowhere near the crime scene, as building management provided us with surveillance that shows Mr. Kim entering his apartment at 8:30am, exiting at 2:50, and returning with his younger brother at 4:00pm. May the jury keep in mind he is his brother’s legal guardian and only known blood relative. Since Mr. Kim’s arrest, Kim Minjoon has had no other choice but to step up immensely and, with the help of his sister-in-law Santana, find a job to help support himself, since my client was his only source of income and the sole breadwinner of the house. This entire ordeal has caused the Kims are great amount of pain, and all for naught. It is, for this reason, we request a mistrial and demand that Kim Hongjoong be released to his loved ones immediately.”

The judge took a moment before saying, “I will appoint a recess in the time I take to review the evidence given to me. Jury, your verdict will not be needed. I thank you for your time and you will be compensated. I will call you all back when I have made my decision.”

The recess lasted almost an hour, in which Santana and Minjoon went to grab a bite to eat. They brought back a sandwich for Seonghwa, despite him insisting that he wasn’t hungry.

“You may all re-enter; the judge has made her decision.” The bailiff called.

“Let’s pray this was enough,” Santana said, rubbing her hands nervously.

Seonghwa placed his hand on her shoulder. “It’s enough.”

They once again sat behind Hongjoong and his attorney as the judge addressed the court.

“Before I make my decision known, I would like to address DA Fawcett. Sarah, I am utterly disappointed in you. The great people of the Bronx have time and time again been prejudiced against. Discriminated against. Been robbed of opportunity. And called liars and thieves and burdens. And this instance is no different. May I remind you, you’re in the courtroom of an impeccable Bronx citizen. You wanna charge me of a crime too? It is for this that you, as well as Officers Manganiello and Bianchi,  be placed on UNPAID administrative while this evidence, as well as the list of witnesses, are further investigated. As for Mr. Kim, given the evidence delivered today in this court, I hereby declare this case a mistrial and order that he be released from custody effective immediately. Mr. Kim, on behalf of the judicial system, and from one Bronxite to another, I sincerely apologize. You are a good man, and from what I can tell, you’re an amazing boyfriend and you’ve raised your brother to be a well-mannered, poised young man. I wish you nothing but the best. Court adjourned.” She slammed her gavel, getting up from her chair.

The court erupted into cheers, Santana tearing up almost immediately. Three long, hard months. It all came to a close in a matter of hours. Hongjoong turned around and motioned with his cuffed hands for her to lean forward. When she did, he trapped her lips into a tight liplock, eliciting oohs and aahs from the onlookers.

“I’ve wanted to do that every time I saw you for the past three months.” Hongjoong looked deeply into her eyes.

The guard came over with a smile and uncuffed him. “Good going, kid. Remember our talk?”

Hongjoong nodded, smiling and rubbing his wrists. “Absolutely. Thank you, sir.”

He shrugged. “Just looking out for someone that reminds me a lot of myself.”

The courtroom had long emptied out, and the trio waited for Hongjoong to emerge from the courthouse, sans the jumpsuit. When he walked down the steps in a black coat, jeans, and sneakers, Minjoon broke into a sprint.

“There he is! I wore clean clothes today, just for you.” He said, gesturing to his suit.

“As you always should. That’s how I raised you. “Hongjoong said, pulling him into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, lil bro. For everything.”

Minjoon shook his head. “You did it all for me. I understand now. Now, I’m gonna go to college, be somebody, and I’ll pay it all back. But for right now, let’s go home.”

Hongjoong laughed. “Couldn’t” have said it better myself.”

*STAY TUNED FOR THE LAST CHAPTER!!*

[starswallowingsea]

Love is Blind 

Fandom: Daredevil (TV) 

Word Count: 1353 

Notes: I think this is the oldest published work in my drive, almost a year old now. A short piece about Matt just thinking about labels and how they affect him and other people in different ways. I rewrote this a few times and it was originally inspired by the song Only In Sleep by Ēriks Ešenvalds, which in turn was inspired by a poem of the same name by Sara Teasdale, although the poem was cut from my final version of this piece. 

---

Matthew Michael Murdock. Defense lawyer. Blind man. Catholic. Aromantic. Bisexual. The man in the mask. Daredevil. Matt had many labels in his life. Some had been given to him arbitrarily, based on things people could see, while others were ones he had chosen for himself, even if only to make others happy. Many people couldn’t see beyond these labels, such as his blindness, or his aromanticism. They saw them as things to be pitied, things that they would change if they had the chance to. Some people just couldn’t see beyond their own world. One where they could see, and love in the way society told them was normal.

Although Matt himself struggled with those same problems, mostly with people who could see, and people who believed in things like love at first sight, he was more able to notice when his thoughts were starting to go down that path of not understanding. He knew how much a simple sentence could hurt someone, even if said with good intentions. This was something, he noticed, that other people had trouble conceptualizing. They’re just words, right? Words can’t really hurt people. What was that old saying, ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me’? A lot of people seemed to live by that, not realizing that words can cut just as deep as a knife can in one’s mind. 

He took a drink of his beer. There were a lot of words people threw at him. They hurt when he was younger, but now they just bounced right off. He didn’t care that much anymore. If that’s what people wanted to think about him, then he couldn’t really stop them. People are stubborn, and it took more energy to try and change their mind than Matt thought it was worth. He knew, and his close friends knew, that he wasn’t heartless for being aromantic. He wasn’t sleeping around with everyone because he’s also bisexual. He didn’t judge others for choices that didn’t affect him because he’s Catholic. But some people did, and maybe they projected their feelings onto him; their misunderstandings of who he was. 

Matt laid his head back and closed his eyes, closing out the fire of the world. He just needed darkness right now. His own thoughts were starting to wander again, asking whether he was actually human or not, how he could live like this, in solitude, when everyone around him seemed so happy in pairs, how maybe he’s just hiding behind his labels because of his training with Stick. Deep inside he knew that wasn’t the case, as he knew he was different from the other kids even before he lost his vision. He didn’t get crushes on people, he didn’t understand the importance of romance for his friends and, well, basically everyone else. Stick just made it clear that he should never go for that kind of relationship in what would eventually become his line of work. 

Some of his friends wondered about him, if he ever got lonely. He’d tell them that he wasn’t, he was content by himself. He didn’t have to worry about the safety of a significant other is what he normally told them if they knew about Daredevil. Mostly, he’d say he wasn’t comfortable having a romantic partner. The concept of having one for longer than a month scared him. He liked the companionship of his friends but he always felt distant from them because he couldn’t hold a relationship for a long time like they could. In general, he also didn’t like the idea of sharing his living space long term with someone. Maybe he didn’t understand at the time, but it was for the better that he didn’t have a long term relationship. They always seemed to do more damage to him than they were worth. 

What is love anyway, he thought to himself. The concept of romantic love always eluded him, but he felt other types of love. Platonic and familial love were the first to come to mind. Matt loved his friends, loved them in a way he didn’t know if they would understand. Without the need or want for a romantic relationship, he had more energy to spend on them, even if it didn’t seem like he did. He also felt a familial love for his friends, and his father. Until he died, anyway. His father had always made sure that Matthew knew he was loved and that he belonged in this world, no matter what anyone else would tell him. He smiled, thinking about his father. Jack wasn’t the best man by any means, but he was the best father Matt had ever had. As for his friends, he saw them as siblings, or those cousins that you’re really close to for some unknown reason. Foggy and him were almost complete opposites, but they were able to work together and become close. Karen, well, she filled in what was missing in the trio. A calm mind and steely determination to do what was right through the legal system. Even though she had never been to law school herself, she knew that there was something she could do to help others. Matt loved that about her. 

Romantic love. The idea had been pulling at his mind all day. Why was that? There hadn’t been any particularly exciting news stories about it recently, and it wasn’t quite Valentine’s day. Maybe it was one of those ads that had been playing on the radio somewhere, advertising online dating. If romantic love confused Matthew Murdock to this extent, then online dating apps were the icing on the cake. Why were people so desperate for a partner? When you’re single, you don’t have to ask about what’s for dinner, where you want to go on vacation, what job you should apply for. There were so many things that seemed constricting about a relationship. Just having multiple people sharing a house or an apartment seemed weird to him. Unless they were really pressed for money, or they were bound by circumstances, whatever they may be. He valued his privacy more than most people did and having someone live with him would intrude on that. Sure he had friends over for drinks or if they needed a place to crash after partying, but that never lasted more than a day or two at most. Anything longer than that and he wouldn’t be able to go out as a vigilante when he needed to. 

Another problem he seemed to have with romantic ideals was the touching. Cuddling, hand holding, quick kisses (or even longer ones). Personal space was invaded regularly and Matt wasn’t the fondest of being touched. His heightened senses made it harder to process touching. It amplified the feeling and would lead to overloads when he was younger. He can initiate it when he knows someone else needs it or even if he himself needs physical reassurance of something, but having it done at random was not ideal. Not for him anyway. 

A gentle knock at the door startled him from his thoughts. 

“Matt,” a voice called from the hallway, “Matt, are you home?” 

“Yeah.” He responded, slowly standing up from his couch. He sensed two heartbeats on the other side of the door. Familiar, friendly heartbeats. Matt undid the lock and opened the door to his two best friends. 

“Thank God you’re home! Hope we weren’t interrupting anything.” Karen said. Always caring, always wanting the best for others. 

“No, I was just thinking.” Matt responded. 

“Well it’s time to stop thinking and start dancing! We’ve got new clients!” Foggy exclaimed. Alway excited, normally the optimist. 

“What were you thinking about anyway?” Karen’s voice again. Some concern, but mostly ready to celebrate their ‘booming’ firm. 

“Love.” Matt said plainly, grabbing another beer bottle from the bag. And it was true, just not in the way they’d expect. 

“To new clientele!” Matt said, raising his bottle for a toast. 

“To money!” Followed Foggy, doing the same. 

“To love!” Finished Karen, clinking her bottle to theirs before tipping back the drink. 

[takadasaiko]

Second Chances: Chapter Two

FFN II AO3

Summary: Steve has every intention of returning the Infinity Stones to their correct place in the timeline and heading back to his own. His problems start when he makes an impulse decision to jump over to 1946 and Peggy decides to go back home with him. It only gets more complicated from there when Howard tags along with them to 2023. Tony lives fix-it fic. Pepperony.

Chapter Summary: Steve's trip does not go as planned for anyone involved.

Notes: This chapter has major spoilers for Agent Carter S1, but on the flip side if you haven't seen the show (which you should! It's amazing!) you shouldn't have too much trouble following. Any relevant plot points are mentioned.

Chapter Two

He didn't have to be there. He hadn't been involved with the original mission and there were plenty of people that could report back how the whole thing went once it was done, but even if Mr Stark and Ms Potts - Mrs Stark? Pepper? He still wasn't sure - were just trying to distract him while they worked through the long line of doctors that would want to see Mr Stark today Peter wasn't going to say no. It was time travel. Actual freakin' time travel.

"You okay there, Queens?"

Peter looked over, Captain America's voice cutting through his thoughts. "Oh yeah. Definitely! So, catch me up. What happens if you see yourself? Do you break all of time and space?"

"This isn't Doctor Who."

Peter looked over and his eyes widened. "Wow. You don't look the same in person as you do in TV. Mr Hulk. Sir. Dr Banner? I, uh…. did you always wear glasses?"

Captain Rogers and the Hulk exchanges looks that Peter hoped were amused more than irritated. The blond man shook his head and moved over to talk with the man with the metal arm. Huh. Guess he was on their side now? What all had he missed in five years time?

"Tony says you create your own webbing in the lab," Dr Banner prompted, drawing Peter's attention back over to him.

"Yeah. Yes. I do."

"I can give you a quick run through the system that we have while Cap gets ready if you want."

"Really?" the teen all but squeaked as he bounced over to the control board.

"And Bruce is fine," the older man said kindly, offering a small wink. "You're one of us, right?"

"Yeah. It's official and everything. Well, sort of? I guess. Mr Stark made me an Avenger when I showed away in the space ship."

"I bet that went over well."

"No, not really. He was pretty pissed." His gaze drifted over the mechanics. "He's, uh….. going to be okay, right?"

"Tony?" Peter nodded and Bruce purses his lips. "He's ... got a long way to go. My body absorbs gamma radiation better than any other person I've come across and it still did a number on me." He motioned to his arm still fitted in a sling. "That much radiation should have killed him. There's still a chance he'll lose his arm."

"But he'll get better?"

"He's stubborn. I wouldn't bet against him. From what he's told me he should have been dead multiple times over."

"You ready for me?" Cap asked as he stepped up into the single platform, a case in hand and a white suit replacing his uniform.

"You have enough for each of the six jumps, the return home, and you got two extra in case something goes wrong, didn't you?"

"I did. After last time, better safe than sorry."

"No kidding."

"What happened last time?" Peter asked and Bruce looked a little sheepish.

"My past self gave Tony a concussion and they had to improvise." He moved to set the coordinates. "Ready when you are." He waited for the nod. "Alright. See you in ten seconds."

"Be right back," the blond answered, and in a flash of light he was gone.

                                                _____________

Steve has told Director Fury once that after what he had been through, nothing would surprise him. He'd lost ten bucks to him that day and had learned a valuable lesson: things could and would always get stranger and more fantastical than he could dream up. Returning the Space, Mind, and Time stones were easy enough. The Power Stone's hiding place left him with a reminder of just how small he was in the grand scheme of the universe, but returning the Reality Stone left him in awe….. and almost an Asgardian prison. He had left the Soul Stone for last, hoping against hope that maybe it would give back the soul that had been sacrificed and he could use one of those extra Pym Particles to bring Natasha home. Natasha didn't come back, though, and as if to add insult to injury he found himself having to follow a man he had lost everything trying to defeat.

And then it was done, and Captain America was left to his own thoughts. The pain of a lost friend and the sacrificed could-have-beens crash into him and he made a choice. 2023 could wait.

He flipped the dial back and felt the wave wash over him, pulling him through to the other side. It left him standing on a familiar street, Manhattan bustling all around, and a horn honked at him. "Hey, buddy! Outta the street!"

Steve sidestepped, the car only barely missing him, and he stepped back onto the sidewalk. "Hey, mister, whatcha wearing?"

He looked down, and a little boy with freckles covering more of his face than not stared up through coke bottle glasses. He was tiny, thin, and somehow a more familiar sight than any person had been since he'd woken up from the ice. "A costume," he managed.

"Like Captain America?"

"Yeah. Kinda like that."

The kid moved on and Steve turned towards the newspaper stand at the corner. A familiar face stared back from the front page, all charm and suave and Steve couldn't help the way his lips twitched upward as he read the headline: Howard Stark Cleared Of All Charges Fights to Have His Inventions Returned.

"What have you gotten yourself into this time, Howard?" he murmured, catching a few lingering looks from passersbyers. First thing was first. He needed to blend in. Once he did that he would find Howard, and Howard would help him find Peggy. He owed her a dance, and after everything that had happened, he couldn't bring himself to turn away now.

                                               _____________

When his weapons had first been stolen from his home vault Howard had sat through three days of mind-breaking congressional testimonies. Now that it was over and Peggy had helped proved his innocence, the inventor found himself right back to square one, but this time instead of trying to prove that he didn't sell weapons to communists, he was there to argue that the government didn't get to keep them after all was said and done. He groaned to himself and downed his last gulp of water. As the senator drolling on and on, he set the glass down hard enough to stop the man mid-sentence. "As riveting as this has all been, I do have plans tonight."

"Then you're conceding ownership to the US government?"

Howard snorted. "Oh no. I've played nice, Mr Senator. Given you your say and then some, but you can talk to my lawyers. Trust me, my inventions'll be out of your hands by the time I get back to California." With that he stood, straightened his suit jacket, and flashed the balding man a shiteating grin and a wink before swanning out with the stuffy old men shouting at him from behind. Let them shout themselves hoarse. It'd do the country some good, and he had a date. Lola. Lena. Lizzie? He'd remember by the time he got there. If not, Jarvis could remind him.

He breezed through the hallway and out the front door, his steps light as he started down the broad stairs in front of the building. Lorain. That was it. Lorain McKenna.

"Howard."

The voice stopped him dead in his tracks halfway down and he spun towards it. A man stood at the bottom. He was tall, broad, and handsome, even with his face half covered by the cap he wore. Dark brown eyes traveled the figure up and down. He knew that voice. He would have known it anywhere. It just wasn't possible. "Steve?"

Blue eyes met his and there was a very small smile playing at the younger man's lips. "Hi, Howard."

"Holy….. how?" He was moving forward, taking two steps at a time until he nearly tripped over himself. "You're here. You're alive. I knew you were. I've been looking. I've been-"

"Can we get out of the open?"

The inventor glanced around. "Yeah. Yeah, 'course. I know just the place."

                                               _____________

Howard had a driver waiting to pick him up that he called Jarvis. Steve tried not to stare at the man that was obviously Tony's first inspiration for the AI that had been woven into Vision. Likewise, though, he found Jarvis doing plenty of staring of his own, and he heard the British man demand to know if Howard had "mentioned this to Ms Carter yet."

"Where do you think we're going?" Howard popped off and gave Jarvis instructions to drive to the airport before turning to fix his clever gaze on Steve. "So you've gotta have one hell of a story."

"It's…. been a doozie," Steve murmured. "Where is Peggy?"

"New York. Working for the SSR."

Steve tilted his head a little. "What's that?"

"Spycraft. Our girl's still got it. You know she just cleared my name when they'd have hanged me like a traitor? Peg believed in me."

Jarvis made a whiny, noncommittal sound from the driver's seat and Howard shot him a glare. "Says the man who was gonna shoot me outta the sky. Wanna talk about having some faith, Jarvis?"

"No, sir. I'd rather not if it's all the same to you."

Steve chuckled. "Sounds like you've had some adventures of your own."

And that's all it took to send Howard into a full debrief of all of the shenanigans they'd been up to since the war ended. Peggy's time with the SSR, his countless rounds of fondue that made Steve wonder if Tony had any siblings running around out there that he just didn't know about, and right up to the most recent chaos that included a Russian psychiatrist and a leathally trained blonde that had brainwashed Howard to the point that he'd nearly doused Manhattan with a toxic drug that would have killed them all in a truly brutal manner.

He spent the car ride out to the airstrip and the short plane ride from DC to New York City reliving it all. Laughter, tears, and a black eye that Peggy had given him at one point, though he was less willing to explain what had prompted that.

At the end of it they stood outside of a beautiful mansion in New York and Steve turned a questioning look on his friend. Surely he would have known if Howard and Peggy….. anyway, Peggy would never….. right?

"I can see your brain misfiring, my friend. Don't worry. I've never been her type. She's pretty particular," Howard added with a suggestive smirk.

Steve swallowed hard. "We should have called ahead."

"Yeah? And how would that have gone? Hey, Peg, found your man. I'll have him to you in a jif."

The blond snorted a chuckle at that. "Guess so." He could almost feel Howard side eyeing him as they made their way up to the door. "What?"

"I get I'm not the one you want to spill all your secrets to, but Peggy's has it rough since you went down. You should tell her. Whatever it is."

It was such a switch from the teasing tone Howard had been speaking in that it felt not unlike getting socked in the gut and it focused Steve. He would have to tell Peggy… something. It's not like he could just show up, have their dance, and go home. What was he doing? Upending everything. That's what. Peggy would have a husband. A family. She might not have them yet, but she would and really, what were his options? Ruining all of that or saying goodbye all over again. He could stay, even if he didn't care about potentially fracturing the timeline, but he'd promised Tony he'd come back. Strange as it was, after all they'd been through, that held weight. He needed to go home and make sure his friend was okay. Howard's son. Either way he'd have to tell her something about where he had been. She wouldn't just accept that it was complicated.

The front door jerked open and a pretty woman with dark blonde hair came flying out, calling over her shoulder. "Don't wait up, Peg! I'm -" She slammed to a stop, eyes traveling up and down Steve to the point he was starting to feel uncomfortable. "Wait…. no way. Are you-"

"You must be Angie," Howard prompted. "Peg's roommate."

"You're Mr Stark."

"Mr Stark was my father. Call me Howard. Peggy didn't tell me how pretty you are. And you're staying in my house? We should get to know each other."

She looked somewhere between flustered and flattered at Howard's obvious advancements, but it was a voice from inside the house that stole Steve's attention. "Angie? You alright?"

Peggy Carter rounded the base of the stairs and suddenly all four of them were standing in the doorway. Peggy was staring straight at him and all at once Steve was that scrawny kid from Brooklyn that hadn't known how to talk to women, much less a woman like Margaret Carter. He couldn't speak, couldn't breathe, couldn't even think. To his left, Howard motioned. "Surprise, Peg."

"Steve," she breathed, and nothing else mattered.

                                               _____________

It was amazing how much energy he seemed to be expending just by sitting up in bed. He could feel his body trying to nod off, determined to shut down and force him to rest, but his main doctor - a trauma surgeon that Strange knew and that Tony was at least vaguely sure had more of a connection with him than the Wizard had been willing to admit in the brief introduction - was there and Pepper was laser focused on going over recovery and treatment. It was something to keep him semi focused until the kid came back with his report. And he would. Peter was smart as he was talented, but most of all he was eager to please, and that meant he wouldn't get bogged down by anything else when he knew Tony was waiting on what he had to say.

"Dr Banner will be responsible for the continued treatment of the radiation poisoning," Palmer was saying, "while my focus will remain on everything else."

Tony's attention swung back around to her. "When can I start physical therapy to get movement back in my arm?"

Palmer grimaced. "That won't be our immediate focus…."

"I'm an engineer. A mechanic. I need mobility in my hands."

"You want mobility in your hands. What you need is to focus on making as full of a recovery as you're capable of making. Your lungs and heart took a hit. Without getting that damage under control, you'll never make it to the physical therapy that will get you to where you want to go."

Tony opened his mouth to argue, but Pepper reached a hand out, her palm resting against his uninjured leg, and the argument died on his lips. "Just tell us what you'd recommend, Dr Palmer. We'll do it."

The door opened, distracting from whatever nuggets of wisdom Christine Palmer might have wanted to bestow upon them, and Peter stuck his head in. "Oh," he said instantly. "Sorry. I'll-"

"Come on in, kid. Doc here is just explaining how my life is gonna suck for a while."

"Better than dead," his wife points out and Tony tilted his head.

"Can't argue that." Dark eyes flickered to meet a set of slightly lighter brown. "How'd it go? Cap make it back in one piece?"

There was something about the look he wore that made Tony's chest tighten. Peter shook his head. "I'm…. I'm sorry, Mr Stark. Captain Rogers didn't come back. We waited, but he….."

A short, painful breath left him and Tony heard Pepper tightened her hold on him. They both knew what that meant. Something had gone wrong. He'd gone by himself into scenarios in which they'd refused to send just one Avenger alone before and instead of beating the odds, they'd beaten him. .

"Tony?" Pepper murmured, but he couldn't find the words. It hurt. More than he could have expected after everything, and he reached out with his left hand until she took it, her support the only thing holding his raging emotions in check.

Cap was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

                                               _____________

TBC

Notes: I adore Dominic Cooper's version of Howard, but I've never written him before now. I lovehim him. There are so many parallels between late 20's/early30's Howard and late 30's/early40's Tony. So many.

Next time: There's not turning back for Steve now and Tony tries to manage expectations for his recovery.

[lawinformation]

The Dirty Trick of the Amicable Divorce

On the off chance that you have require a best reasonable Texas Divorce Law encounter, The Dirty Trick of the Amicable Divorce with the immense procedure!

Houston Family Law Attorneys: Many people are scared to use a lawyer in a divorce because they think their situation is too simple or easy to justify paying for a divorce lawyer to provide help and guidance.

The same people think that in order to keep things “amicable” or as long as things are “amicable,” they should avoid getting a divorce attorney.

What many potential clients do not realize is that they are being penny wise and pound foolish. Some of the most expensive and costly mistakes I see are when someone is not represented by a lawyer.

This is an update of an article I wrote in September of 2017. I felt compelled to do so based on a recent consult.

Each consult that I discuss in this article has their own unique story and outcome that demonstrates the high cost and consequences for simple mistakes that could have been easily avoided had the people I met been represented by a lawyer.

IF YOU DO NOT BRING IT UP YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO LATER

The lady I consulted with that inspired this update had a very sad story involving domestic violence. She wanted to be able to move away from her abuser.

However, in her divorce decree, there is geographical restriction that forces her to live near her abuser because of the children they have together. When I learned that her husband went to court to finalize the case, I was hopeful because there might be time to undo what had happened.

However, when I looked up the case and saw when the judge had signed the order, I saw she had missed the deadline to file a motion to reopen the case.

I then had to spend an hour explaining she was stuck living near her abuser, even though her ex-husband:

> Had choked her > Had a family violence case pending against him > Had hit her on multiple occasions > Was not exercising his visitation

Res Judicata

The legal reason for this is because of “res judicata.” This means a matter has been adjudicated by a competent court and may not be pursued further by the same parties.

All the facts that could have helped her before the judge signed the order in most circumstances can not be brought up to change the order that was signed. The court only cares about new facts that occurred after the judge signed the order.

The Danger of Playing Too Nice

Unfortunately, in her case she was not represented by an attorney. She did not want to anger her husband by getting an attorney. She thought if she played it nice, she could get the divorce and move away after.

Another problem in her case was that she signed and cooperated with everything including:

> Signing a waiver > Signing the final decree > Going to court

She did not leave herself any wiggle room for undoing the divorce decree.

There is Still Hope

I did let her know that should some more bad facts occur, she could ask the court to modify the current order in regard to the children. I also let her know another possible reason to modify is if her ex-husband continued not to exercise his visitation.

Unfortunately, the lady I met with did not find much comfort in what I told her because it did not provide any immediate help to her and instead serves more as a cautionary tale to others.

WAIVER OF SERVICE – MEANS YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE SERVED

Divorce Houston: Personal service is not the only way to bring a party to a case under the power of the court so that the court can make orders regarding those individuals.

Alternatively, a person can waive their right to be personally served with a copy of the lawsuit by signing a waiver of service. The waiver of service must be signed in the presence of a notary, notarized, and then filed with the court.

It basically says you do not want to be served by a process server or constable/sheriff or by certified mail sent by the District Clerk.

Recently, I met with a father and his new girlfriend who were confused about why his paycheck was being garnished for child support. He told me he barely made minimum wage and the amount the income withholding said he was supposed to pay was more than he made at his job.

The other sad thing was that it had only been a few months since the order was signed and he was already in the hole several thousand dollars because what he earned was not covering what he was supposed to pay in child support.

I was told by the father that he had never been served. My first thought was that maybe he had been served by some alternative means, which meant the case could more than likely be reopened.

The father had obtained a copy of the order against him and so I was able to take a look at it. What I observed was:

> No one involved in the case had used a lawyer > The paperwork said that the father had signed a waiver > The paperwork said that the father had agreed and signed the order

I asked the father to excuse me so I could go look up the case online. I went back to my office and looked up the case. Sure enough, the record showed that there was a waiver on file. I then looked the order again and flipped to the signature page and it looked like the father had signed the order.

I then went back and explained what I had looked up and showed him a printout showing the waiver of service and his signature on the order.

I explained that he did not need to be served because the court record showed he had waived service and agreed to the order. However, if that was not the case, we could file paperwork and subpoena the notary regarding his signature.

His girlfriend then turned to him and asked if he signed the paperwork. His response was he didn’t know. In my book, that is the wrong answer to that sort of question. I explained his options for fixing the order.

As I saw it, either:

> He had signed the order and did not bother reading what he signed > The mother filled in the blanks after he had signed the order or > The mother somehow convinced a notary to sign the documents saying the father had signed the waiver

In every option I gave him, it was going to cost him several thousand dollars—a lot more than it would have cost to hire a lawyer to get it done the first time correctly.

BEWARE OF STANDARD FORMS

That same day, I met with another unfortunate individual who should have hired an attorney. In her situation, she and her husband had been able to resolve the case amicably outside of court through mediation.

In the agreement, she and her husband were supposed to split his retirement account 50/50 using QDRO. The purpose of her consult was to find out how much my office would charge for drafting that document.

She had brought all the paperwork with her so I could review it. Once I saw the paperwork, I grew immediately concerned. She had:

> A Mediate Settlement Agreement (MSA) and > A Final Divorce Decree

My concern was the divorce decree. It was not anything drafted by a lawyer. It was a standard form put out by a popular website. One of the warnings on the form is NOT to use it to divide a retirement account and to instead hire an attorney to draft the decree when you are trying to divide a retirement account.

When I reviewed the Final Divorce Decree, my suspicions were confirmed. The Final Divorce Decree did not divide the husband’s retirement account but instead gave him 100% of the account. When I explained this to the wife, she was understandably upset. She thought she was hiring my office to help her with a closing document to divide up the retirement account only to find out the divorce decree that was supposed to reflect the Mediated Settlement Agreement said something quite different.

This was another instance where having a divorce attorney would have protected an individual. The divorce lawyer would have made sure that the Final Divorce Decree that was signed reflected the agreement and that her ex did not accidentally or intentionally do anything sneaky.

KNOW WHAT FORMS TO USE AND THE CORRECT COURTROOM PROCEDURE

Family Lawyers Houston: One husband I met with recently had managed to divorce his wife on his own without the help of an attorney. He accomplished this divorce by default. A default divorce means he divorced his wife:

> First by giving her notice and > After he gave her notice, she ignored it

Once this happened, his wife was able to reopen the case by:

> Hiring an attorney > Stating the husband did not use the correct forms > Stating the husband did not use the correct procedure in the divorce

One of the things the husband had failed to do was file an inventory and appraisement with the court and explain to the correct party why his division of the property was a just and right division. Had the husband followed the correct procedure, his ex may not have been able to reopen the divorce ... Continue Reading

[monsterleadmehome]

Reylo Fic Rec Masterpost

Since I’ve been asked a couple times for fic recommendations, I decided to create a master list, which I’ll (hopefully) come back to and update. This is by no means comprehensive, but they are works I’ve thoroughly enjoyed and wanted to share. You can also always check out my bookmarks page on AO3.

I have updated these with ratings, but be warned they are mostly M or E. Smut not your thing? Check my smut-free recs here! Remember to mind the tags! 

*Indicates WIP

Let’s start with some little known fics. These are all under 100 kudos as of June 19, 2018. Make sure to leave a comment and/or give kudos if you read!

Ties That Bind* by @phoenixsolo -- Rated M. This fic is wonderfully written and jumps between multiple POVs. Also some great Poe and Wedge Antilles interaction which is fun. 

Holonet Mail by MelodeeKS99 (not sure of tumblr) -- Rated T. This is the cutest You’ve Got Mail AU one-shot but still takes place in universe. Ben and Rey are both smugglers. Guys, it’s adorable.

A Veil of Smoke* by @binarysvnrise -- Rated M. ASOIAF AU that is just masterfully thought out and so well-written. NO LONGER ON HIATUS. 

come and knock on my door* by jadeddiva -- Rated T. This is a really cute modern AU where Ben is a programmer at a startup and Rey is his college student neighbor. They meet because both their roommates have kicked them out to have sex.

every inch between us becomes light years by @spookykingdomstarlight -- Rated M. A beautiful one-shot that is both super sexy and sad. It hurts, but in a good way.

Cloudbusting by @bratanimus -- Rated T. Beautifully written and short. Just read it.

In-Universe Fics:

Sword of the Jedi series by @kylorenvevo -- Part 1 Rated T, Part 2 Rated M. Are you even a real Reylo if you haven’t read this? J/K, but seriously this was one of the earliest fics I read when I fell into the Reylo trash bin, and it is a masterpiece. AU where Rey and Ben grew up together at the Jedi Academy. It reads like canon novels. Not kidding.

Crossroads series by @gizkasparadise -- Part 1 T, Part 2 E, Part 3 T. This is an emotional rollercoaster in 3 parts. It’s got angst, it’s got the pre-TLJ Force Bond, it’s got memory loss, and some really kickass supporting characters. I just love it so much.

You’ll Be the One to Turn by @postedbygaslight -- Rated M. This is THE post-TLJ fic you need to be reading. It’s still a WIP at this point, but it’s sure to be completed soon, and like I told Posted before, if EP IX winds up totally letting me down, this will be the only version of events I accept. It is insanely well-written, gripping, and emotional. Just read it. 

Infectious by @dvrkrey -- Rated E. Also known as the sick!fic. It’s a poignant hurt/comfort post-TLJ imagining with a beautiful first time love scene. This one has a special place in my heart.

In The Early Dawn of Happiness by @corseque -- Rated E. GAH! This is beautiful and touching and even though it’s a reylohardkinks fill, it’s so much more than that. It is profoundly sweet, and if we’re lucky, there will be another chapter. 

landscape with a blur of conquerors* by @kylorenvevo -- Rated E. I’m assuming if you haven’t heard of this fic, you’ve been trapped on Ahch-To with Luke for too long. The arranged marriage AU with plenty of Hapan couture fashion to keep poor Kylo occupied.

Across the Stars* by @nite0wl29 -- Rated E. A Beauty and the Beast AU set in-universe (on Chandrila!). Rey falls for Kylo without him ever taking the mask off, and I think that’s beautiful. It’s got all the best elements of TFA, TLJ, and BatB. This one also should be wrapping up soon.

Songs of Innocence, Songs of Wisdom* by @cosmo-gonika -- Rated E. Another post-TLJ fic that has been blowing my mind. It has some mystical Force elements and some steamy scenes with Rey and Kylo. It does a really great job of showing where our star-crossed lovers are still not on the same page (but hopefully they’ll be there by the end!). 

The Descent of Ishtar by @assortedfruitsnacks212 -- Rated M. This is a trippy post-TLJ fic that is super mystical and really intriguing. It’s so well-written, and I might have to light a fire under the author to get her to update this because I NEED MORE.

Id by @dreamsdescent -- Rated E. A smutty one-shot where Rey fulfills Ben’s darkest fantasy. It’s hot. Do yourself a favor and read it.

Mood Lighting by @raven-maiden -- Rated E. This is based on the closeup of the MF captain’s quarters in Solo. It is a beautiful one shot with humor, soul, and (yes!) smut. Can’t believe it’s her first fic! 

World In My Eyes by @mygrandmathinksimsassy -- Rated M. Apparently I had been sleeping on this post-TLJ gem? It’s 96k words and recently completed, so you can settle down with this on a rainy day. Beautifully written, really sexy, and has a happy ending! I loved it.

AU Fics:

Blades Crossed by @the-reylo-void -- Rated M. A really amazing figure skating modern AU a la The Cutting Edge.

Stranger Than Fiction by @daxwashere -- Rated E. Seriously? Probably my favorite modern AU ever. Ben Solo is an author who needs to give his main character a love interest; enter Rey, his muse. It deals with some pretty real shit while also being incredibly full of heart (and some hot smut!).

Left Handed Kisses by @ever-so-reylo -- Rated E. The fuck buddies to lovers AU I never knew I needed. Rey is an Assistant District Attorney and Ben is a criminal defense lawyer. It’s hot, it’s sweet, it’s got lots of emotional constipation - you won’t be disappointed.

In the Name of Magic series by @waterlilyrose -- Part 1 E, Part 2 E, Part 3 T. The Hogwarts AU of my dreams! Kylo is a Snape-ish professor in Slytherin and Rey is a Gryffindor professor (of course). It’s great because it incorporates everything you love about Hogwarts, but focuses on the teachers instead of the students. Luke is Headmaster and Leia is Minister for Magic and there’s a very special painting of a snarky muggle that steals quite a few scenes. I absolutely adore this fic.

Dark Horse by @womp-rat-fever -- Rated T. This was a gift to me that I won in a tumblr giveaway. It is the Outlaw!Ben / Sheriff!Rey AU you never knew you always wanted! It’s a one-shot but it’s packed with action and pretty hot, too. I also made a playlist for it here.

The Promise by @nerdherderette -- Rated E. Wow. This is the most enthralled I think I’ve been with a one-shot. It’s 13k words, but reads like a 500 page historical fiction novel. If you like The Count of Monte Cristo, this is the fic for you.

Bedroom Hymns* by @drnucleus -- Rated E. Modern AU where Rey is a psychologist and Ben is an architect. Healthy BDSM where Rey is the Dom and Ben is the sub (although they haven’t quite gotten that far in the relationship yet). This is just really smart and eloquent. I’m a fan.

Fire Away* by @reylolujah -- Not rated. Disclaimer: I’ve only read the first chapter of this, but it’s SO GOOD. Laser tag AU with a really funny and great set up. Excited to see where it’s going! (I have it on good authority that we’re getting a half-naked Ben in a forthcoming chapter.)

A/B/O Dynamics:

Yes, I finally needed to add a section just for a/b/o. Sorry not sorry because I love it now. These are all E, for obvious reasons.

Your Pretty Little Heart by @ever-so-reylo -- modern AU where Ben and Rey are both doctors. And both terrible at admitting their feelings. It’s hot and super-well written. A good starter a/b/o fic!

Hunger* by @benperor-ren -- a canonverse a/b/o that picks up after Crait but with Rey in heat and Kylo coming to her aid, *wink wink nod nod*

Algorithms* by @grey-orchids -- the only first person POV fic I’ve ever enjoyed. This one is done so well it almost subverts the trope? Rey is a feminist and an IT person at a tech company run by Kylo. She goes into heat and things get interesting. *waggles eyebrows*

Summer Heat* by @isharan -- slow burn a/b/o you say? Yeah, and it hella works. Rey goes to spend the summer at her granfather’s cabin in Canada and is drawn to the outcast alpha Ben. It’s soooo good.

the thick of it* by @dvrkrey -- so steamy. It’s got hunter!Rey and lead alpha of the pack Kylo and Dothraki vibes for sure. Just check it out, you’ll like it. ;)

No One But You* by @faequeentitania -- a canonverse a/b/o started for Reylo week that started as mostly smut and now has plot! It’s really engaging and I’m excited for the last few chapters!

Hawthorne House by @strawberrycupcakehuckleberrypie -- I recently binged this and it is sweet/hot/amazing. Rey works at a B&B in Savannah, Ben Solo is a guest during a hurricane.

Oh and since people have also mentioned it, I will link to my works here at the bottom:

Dawn of the Rebellion series -- Rated T parts 1 & 2. This started as a one-shot I couldn’t get out of my head, then got a multi-chapter second part added on by popular demand. It’s my EP IX imaginings and it’s full of soft Reylo. There is a smutty epilogue in the works.

Truth Be Told* -- Rated M. The Alias AU I started for the RFFA exchange and am now taking too long to finish. If you like espionage and UST, I’ve got you covered!

smutty one-shots (all E): Chariot (modern AU) | Training Day (canon-verse) | Code 288 (Brooklyn 99 inspired) | Careless Whisper (80′s AU)

That’s about it for now, but I’ve got about 5 pages of “marked for later” fics I need to dig into, so keep an eye out for this list to be updated!