#insomnia is beating me up and calling me names

[pinkpunkdotpng]

Extremely quick doodle of the new panel because I'M SO BORED and it's 4 am and uh yeah

[mysicklove]

𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐄

DAY 10: SOMINOPHILIA

With: Levi Ackerman

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: gn! reader, sub! levi, nightmares + insomnia mentioned, oral (m! receiving), handjob in dreams, implied age gap, set in around season 2 timeline? im kinda forgetting which season erwin was in... kissing..lots of kissing, reader being puppy coded and levi is sick in love

A/N: sorry this is late!!!! i hope this also isnt too confusing considering it switches back and forth between his dream and irl. idk. also title is named after a song by The Mamas and The Papas that i LOVEEEE

Levi Ackerman finds himself plagued with nightmares. It was always like that though, since he could remember at least. Three to four nights a week he awakes in the middle of night dripping with sweat with his heart nearly beating out of his chest. He has grown used to the lack of sleep by now, it barely bugs him anymore.

That is, until he found someone to share his bed with. 

You were his light, as dramatic and sappy as it sounds, and something he will never admit out loud. But it was true, finally in this dim world he finds himself in, you came crashing in, brighter than the sun. He had fallen for you in record time, and you, drawn to his stoic and feisty aura, came tumbling down after him.

It's been a year now since you've gotten together, and Levi swears the nightmares are getting less frequent. 

Well, at least in the nights where you lay beside him. The nights where you hold him, and he has easier access to your heartbeat. The steady rhythm of your chest rising and falling. Alive.

He doesn't go into too much depth about the nightmares, but you know the general scene of them, usually relating back to his comrades deaths. He has mentioned that the recent ones involve you, and it makes your heart crumble for your beloved each time his voice cracks through the explanation. You don’t press too much on the matter – the nights he wakes up in a cold sweat, you are there to ease him back to sleep, reassuring that you and he are safe. He almost gets a full night of sleep with you around.

But alas, you aren’t all sunshine and rainbows, and neither is he. Nope, you happen to be one of the most erotic people have ever met (though, he hasn’t met many). A sick brat is what he calls you, or sometimes a disgusting pervert, if he’s feeling extra grumpy. The nicknames fly past your head, as you pepper his face with kisses. It was all in good spirit, is what you remind yourself at least. 

“Soooo, Hange recommended–”

“No.”

You pout at the man, pulling away from his chest to glare at him. “You didnt even let me finish my sentence.”

His cold face doesnt let up, even if his eyes hold a playful light to them. “I am smart enough to recognize that anything having to do with Hange is a bad idea.”

You playfully hit his chest, and the man raises his eyebrows at you. A smile pulls at your lips, and Levi cant help but stare whimsically at you. It was unfair, really. “Fine, get on with it, brat.”

“How would you feel if I woke you up with a blow job?” His reaction is immediate, first shock, and then as a couple seconds go by he seems to be much more inclined to agree, but then finally settles on an scowl.

“Why were you talking to Hange about these things?”

You cock your head to the side, tapping on your chin. “Well, I mentioned that your nightmares have started again, and they told me that oral sex helps stop them. Something neurologically with your dick and brain? I don't know.”

He stares at you for a couple of seconds, bewildered at your explanation. But, he realizes quickly what is up, and he immediately pinches the bridge of his nose with a long sigh. “They are fucking with you, idiot. Just trying to get me laid. Hange has always been like that.”

Your face falls at the words, and Levi swears you managed to master the kicked puppy look. He grabs your hands and pulls you back onto his chest, rolling his eyes when you hum into his skin. The warmth brought him comfort, and he finds himself more at peace. “I mean…It won't help with the nightmares, but who would turn down waking up to a blowjob?” Levi mumbles into your hair, while rubbing his hands up and down your arms.

You twist to look up at him, the familiar grin back on your face. “Yeah?”

He scoffs at you, an embaressed blush coating his cheeks. “Just dont wake me up early, alright. Just gonna piss me off.”

He swears he can see you wagging a tail. “Of course, Captain!”

Two weeks have gone by, and Levi has not woken up to your face anywhere near his dick. He has awoke to kisses along his cheeks, and neck, but that wasnt new, you were always disgustingly affectionate in your half awake state. He holds a content (half) smile for about ten seconds as he shuts the door of your room, only for it to drop when he sees Hange.

He wasnt the one to complain though, maybe you were just teasing him. You always did like to press his buttons. He wasn't going to give you the satisfaction of knowing he wants it. So, the dark haired man continues on, nightmares and all, through the weeks.

By the time a month came passing by, he knows that you forgot all about your stupid little promise – your stupid naive words that only worked to piss him off. He glared at you from across the halls for a whole week – never daring to actually show you real signs that he was upset. But after you accidentally caught him frowning at you from across the training grounds, he was immediately dragged back your shared rooms, and fucked lovingly, as you apolgized for everything you could think of that would piss the man off.

You didnt mention the blowjob, but Levi was content with the disheveled hair, and the hickeys and bite marks littering his body, so he forgives you. 

He forgets about the blowjob after two months. You were more horny than usual, so the two of you were at it multiple times a week. He would end up too exhausted to hold any real dreams, including his nightmares.

Levi was okay with it.

9 am. Levi, for the first time ever, was oversleeping. Of course when you woke up at 8 am, on your day off from training, and found your lover by your side, you couldnt help but be shocked. He was usually gone by 5 am to get to training. 

But you heard him woke up multiple times in the middle of the night. The nightmares were back. His shaky hands wrapped around you, and he panted into your neck, trembling like you've never seen before. You don't know what triggered it, but Levi seemed to have a really bad night. 

He deserves to sleep in. So, at fifteen past 8, you scamper to Erwins office and beg the commander for Levi to have a day off. He always did have a soft spot for you. For one, you brought happiness to humanities strongest, and also because his friend silently threatened him death if he was to mistreat you. Erwin agreed without much hesitation. 

You crawl into bed next to your lover, and begin to trace his content face. At least the nightmares were gone for the night.

Then, the realization hits you. This was the perfect time for you to finally do as promised.

You waited months because you wanted Levi to forget about your words. Of course, you assumed he forgot them after a couple of days, paying no attention to your promise, but you waited it out just in case. 

And now, the both of you dont have any plans today. A once in a lifetime experience, it has got to be.

So with one more glance at your lover, you kiss his cheek, hold back a small giggle, and slowly remove the blanket from his lap. Then, you slide yourself down on the bed, and carefully manevuer yourself in between his legs. He doesnt sleep with much attire, growing hot in the night. Plus with the addition of the cold sweat he often finds himself in, he learns that going next to bare was easier. 

You pull down his boxers, and are immediately exposed to a dark patch of hair. It's trimmed properly, but he prefers to have a little hair down their over being completely shaven. Something on the lines of protecting his dick from germs or whatnot. You dont listen to the details, only thinking about how hot it is.

The boxers make it past his thighs, and you glance back up at the man. He doesn't even seem to flinch when the cool air comes into contact with his skin. He snoozes peacefully into the pillow, his dark hair covering his eyes. 

His dick lays limp against his leg, and you pick it up slowly, careful to not wake him up. You run your fingers over it a couple of times, and then, holding the back of it with your fingers to support it, you run your tongue from bottom to top of the length. 

Levi doesn't move. You take that as a sigh to continue. 

Another stripe of the tongue, and then two more, and nothing happens. You grow bolder by the moment. You place his still soft cock into your mouth, and this time you do hear a reaction. Its a quiet sigh, but it was something. His eyes still remain shut.

Slowly, you begin to suckle on the tip, finding it easier to fit it in your mouth while soft. Your tongue roams the shaft, and you press sloppy, wet kisses to his veins. Blood rushes to his cock unconsciously, and Levi still has not stirred, even with his cock now hard. You chuckle with amusement, but dont stop your movements, now dragging your hands along his thighs to appreciate his body.

Levi was having a good dream. It wasnt like the past couple of nightmares, no, this one seemed to have a light hue. It was just the two of you, laying with your backs against grass. A open field, far away from everyone, and not a threat in sight. Titans were gone.

A peaceful world for the two of you. A world Levi craved. 

His hands trace your face, and he stares at you, admiring every crease and divot of your skin. You slide your way over toward him, leaning forward to kiss him. “I love you.”

He hums, eyes falling shut, as he wraps his arms around your body. “Yeah, yeah. Love ya too, brat.”

You giggle at him, and suddenly the smile on your face shifts. It turns soft, the tips of your mouth curling up in an almost feline way, while you eyes become hooded. He watches you lean forward and press your lips to his. The man doesnt stop you, gently kissing you back while your tongue slips into his mouth. Levi gulps when your hands trace down to his pants, and he quickly looks around the meadow, afraid to discover an unwelcomed guest. Of course there was nobody, it was a dream, not a nightmare. Your hand slips into his pants, and Levi’s back arches in the grass.

He twitches in his sleep and you smile fondly at the man. The tip of his cock rest against your cheek, as you admire him for a second too long, only to be rewarded with jolt of his hips from the source unknown, sending it slapping across your face. You hold back a laugh, and then grab at it again, mumbling out a, “Even a brat in your sleep, huh Captain?” 

You lean forward and wrap your lips around him again.

“D-Don't stop!” Levi groans out, hands clutching at your shirt while he squeezes his eyes shut. It doesn't stop the sun from getting past his eyelids, so he moves closer to you to hopefully block it out. You press your lips to his neck, nibbling at the space just beneath his ears.

“Would never,” You purr, and the man glances at your hand. His pants are pulled down completely now, and your pace was rutheless in its up and down motions. It sends him shivering, and covering his face with the back of his arm. He breathes through clenched teeth, and tries his best not to let out a whimper. The man hears your giggle, and before he could stop himself, the whine slips out.

The first noise of the morning was a low whimper. Not much, but definitely there, and unbelievably cute. You grip at his hips and try to take him deeper, but his hips thrusts back into your mouth with another paired whine. Your eyes widen, and you gag out at the unexpected movement, having to pull away to catch your breath. His dark hair whips back and forth, and he continues to make low mewling noises. “Huh, and you call me the pervert. What are you dreaming about, pretty?”

Levi moans into your mouth, wrapping his arms around your neck. His hips buck up into your hands, and you playfully bite his lip, earning a dramatic grunt in complaint. He grips your hair and pulls you back to his lips before you try and let out another teasing remark. Precum leaks onto your hand, and he swears that it provides more of the makeshift lube then usual. Your hand feels better than normal, strangely damp, and so warm. Did handjobs always feel this good?

He can feel his high approaching and his breaths come out quicker. “Gonna..cum. Fuck!”

You detach yourself from his lips. “No, no, no! Not yet!” You tease, voice light and almost giggly. It wasn't the first time you denied him of his release, but it was rare. You always di did pamper him. 

The man scowls at you, borderline on the cusp of baring his teeth. “Why?” He demands, short and simple, but shows exactly how peeved he is. Levi is more than surprised to feel that you didn't squeeze his cock in warning. No, still the warm, tight feeling, that does not make any sense to him.

“Can you do something for me first?”

A demand from you? Unheard of. “Get on with it, I-Im close”

Your hand movements become louder and louder, and it shouldn't sound like that. It's so lewd, and the squelching noise are never that loud. 

You press you lips to his ear, and a shiver runs down his spine at your breath, which is strangely cooler than usual. “Wake up, Captain.”

His eyes snap open immediately and he pants into the dark room. Levi hears it first, before he feels it. A loud slurping sort of noise, and the man feels his cock trapped between something warm, wet. 

A throat. Not a hand. 

He is quick to manevour himself to hold his weight on his elbows, and glances down at you, breaths coming out shallow and quick. You smile when you catch his eye, and for a second you pull away from him. You pepper his length down with kisses. “Well, well, good morning, sleepy head,” You mumble, letting another swipe of your tongue graze his thick blue vein. Then, with little hesitation, you dive back onto his cock, taking it as far as you can into your mouth.

“What are you–Fuck!” His legs instinctually bend outward, and his back arches. His head was still foggy in his half sleepen state. Was that all a dream? Was this real? He grips onto your hair, and does his best not to force you deeper onto his cock.

Levi could feel his orgasm approaching and rapidly, same as the dream. But this time it was real, and by god did it feel that way. His hips buck into your mouth and he lets out loud moans, tucking his face into the pillow to try and muffle them. 

He tries to ask for permission again to cum again, hoping that this time real you wouldnt lead him on. It comes out more as a command, but you just roll your eyes with a smile, the giggle in the back of your throat sending him spiral. 

“Cumming. Oh god. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He chants, and your eyes widen in shock, but you don't pull away from his cock. He was never the one to be polite in bed, the little brat was always barking commands and half hearted complaints. He must be really enjoying this treat if he was to thank you.

You dont have time to dwell on it much, because he forces your head lower onto his cock and cums into your mouth. You wince at the taste, but bear no mind to it as you watch your lover unravel. His back still continues to arch (which you will never get over) while his eyes are shut. The noises he lets out are soft, more of a mewl and a groan, but adorable nonetheless. His whole body trembles and his legs lay out wide, shaking under the force of the orgasm.

You pull away when he is done, and wipe your lips with the back of your hand. “Taste perfect as usual. Always so good on your diet!”

He rolls his eye at you, but it doesn't hold much bite considering that the man seemed to be basking in the post orgasm glow. “You are gross. I know that shit tastes bad.”

“Nope! Anything that the Captian makes is amazing”

He throws a pillow at your face, and you pout at him, a dramatic whine slipping past your lips. “Don't call me that, I am not even your Captain anymore, brat. And stop pouting!” He demands, pulling up his boxers before letting out a big stretch.

“Why are you so mean to me?” You complain, crawling forward to lay on his chest. “After I gave you head too!”

The frown does not drop from his face, but he does trace his fingers along your face. A silent token of affection that you purr into. “Took ya long enough. Thought you forgot about it.”

You fake hurt, taking in a dramatic breath. “Of course not! I would never lie to you.” The words are light, and holds a smile in them. “And hey, dont you think you are a little spoiled? Complaining that you got a blowjob too late.”

Levi doesnt even seem to react, his facial expression remaining neutral, and his words flat. “No ‘m not. Said thank you and everything.”

To this, you do nod, practically vibrating with affection to give. It was too hard to really be upset with him. “Super polite of you! I was so impressed!”

This does make him roll his eyes. “You really think low of me, huh?”

You poke at his cheek with a smile plastered on your face. “Aww cmon dont be dramatic again. You know I dont. Oh! Also, did it help with the nightmares?” You tease, knowing exactly what type of dream he really was having. “You sounded very….Scared in your dream.”

He seems to flush red, but alas, Levi was never the one to be on the losing foot. “....Yes. Seems like you are going to have to do this for me everyday. To stop the nightmares.”

You burst out laughing, and fail to see the small grin that creeps up the dark haired man's face.

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[sagesskies]

ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴄᴇᴏ

✒ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʙᴜʏ ʏᴏᴜ

✉ - ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀɴᴏɴʏᴍᴏᴜꜱ - ʜᴇʏ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ! ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ᴀ ʟᴏᴠᴇꜱɪᴄᴋ ᴄᴇᴏ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀ ɢɴ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴄᴏꜰꜰᴇᴇ ꜱʜᴏᴘ ʜᴇ ꜰʀᴇQᴜᴇɴᴛꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ɢᴏᴇꜱ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ? (ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛꜱ ʀɴ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ɪɢɴᴏʀᴇ, ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ᴅᴀʏ/ɴɪɢʜᴛ ♥)

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ: ꜱᴛᴀʟᴋᴇʀɪꜱʜ ʙᴇʜᴀᴠɪᴏʀꜱ, ᴀɢᴇ ɢᴀᴘ (ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɪꜱ ɪɴ ᴇᴀʀʟʏ ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛɪᴇꜱ, ᴍɪʟᴀɴ ɪꜱ ɪɴ ʟᴀᴛᴇ 30ꜱ), ᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴅɪꜱᴏʀᴅᴇʀ (ᴍɪʟᴀɴ), ɪɴꜱᴏᴍɴɪᴀ (ᴍɪʟᴀɴ), ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ʜᴀꜱ ᴀ ɢɪʀʟꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ, ᴜɴʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜʏ ʙᴇʜᴀᴠɪᴏʀ (ʟɪᴛᴇʀᴀʟʟʏ), ᴘᴏꜱꜱᴇꜱꜱɪᴠᴇɴᴇꜱꜱ, ɪᴍᴘʟɪᴇᴅ ɴᴇɢʟᴇᴄᴛꜰᴜʟ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛꜱ, ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ɪꜰ ɪ ᴍɪꜱꜱᴇᴅ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴇʟꜱᴇ!

Yandere CEO who first met you at your job in your friend's family bakery. Young, bright, and full of life, wearing a baby blue apron. You eagerly greeted him with a smile, and asked how he was doing. There was nothing forced about your mannerisms, it was all genuinely, purely, you. 

Yandere CEO, despite knowing it'll all end up flushed down a toilet, comes in everyday ordering the different pastries you recommend. After his seventh visit, you jokingly ask him if he's got any cavities yet and he blushes. Not that you notice. 

Yandere CEO who gathers the courage to talk to you beyond simple good mornings, and responding to your questions of: “How are you Milan?” or “So that'll it be for today, eh?” and stammers out things like, “N- Nice weather today, huh?” and even, “Uh.. How- How long have you been working here for?” It's all simple, nearly no substance, but it's exceptional progress for somebody like him who barely even speaks to his secretaries beyond plain Yes's and No's. 

Yandere CEO whose fair face turns a furious red whenever you tease or compliment him, calling him things like adorable and cute. Never has he been called anything like that before. People see him, with his bodybuilder-esque physique and stoic face, with it's fierce features, and are too intimidated to treat him with anything other than with a  respect that is borne out of fear. 

Yandere CEO who knows this is wrong. He's 38 years old, and you're only what? 23? This is wrong, this is taboo, this is predatory. But his heart can't help but beat furiously for you each time he steps inside the quaint little bakery. Your bright smile, your gentle eyes, your warm voice. You are like the sun, and he is your ever-devoted Icarus, who will crash and burn if he tries to even fly an inch closer.

Yandere CEO who is unable to sleep at night. He's used to this, he's had insomnia since he was a teenager in highschool, but never like this before. Where previously it was paranoia and anxieties that kept sleep at bay now it was you, the scent of pastries and bread, and your warmth. 

Yandere CEO who unconsciously starts to act like a teenage girl. Doodling your name in the margins of his paperwork, writing (Name) x Milan over and over again in the empty pages of his journal, which was previously used exclusively for tracking his expenses but was now being used for more personal entries. 

July 17, 2009

Today [Name] remembered it was my birthday, and bought me a slice of chocolate cake using his own money. I tried to keep it down, but unfortunately my body is too used to emptying its stomach whenever I eat too much. 

September 7, 2009

[Name] asked me if I've been sleeping well recently, and even if I told him I was okay, he still gave me a box of teabags. He told me it helps him sleep at night, and hopes it'll be able to help me too. He's so kind, and too good to me. I can never tell him it's him who's the cause behind these sleepless nights. I think it'll devastate him. Sometimes, I hope it will.

February 13, 2010

[Name] asked me if I was going to buy somebody any pastries for Valentine's Day, and if there's anybody I'm hoping to receive any chocolates from. I wanted to tell him I hoped to receive chocolates from him, but that would be inappropriate. Then he told me he hoped his girlfriend would remember to give him some.

[Name] has a girlfriend. 

Yandere CEO who doesn't show up for multiple days after you reveal this to him. He goes back to old habits, the following days occupied by work, work, and work. He sleeps rarely, and wakes up late. He eats even less than he usually does, and forgets to go to the gym. 

The only thing that Yandere CEO does outside of that? Pay private investigators to learn as much as possible about you, no matter how dirty or well kept the secret is he will know. 

It's unethical, a violation of all your rights, but he thought you two were close. That you were friends. A kind of relationship he barely even knew. All he knows is distant families, cold business partners, and shallow imitations of friendship. He thought you were different, you were so real, but if he didn't even know you had a girlfriend, then what else was he unaware of?

Yandere CEO whose father calls him, and tells him his secretaries have told him about how he's been acting, and advises him to take a break. Perhaps he should try to hit the dating scene? He'll have to get married eventually, and he's not getting any younger. 

Yandere CEO who goes to the blind dates his mother arranges for him. Daughters of her friends, sometimes even granddaughters. Women who are sometimes a decade younger than him. Women who are his age. He never told his parents he was gay, and now he has to suffer through this. 

Yandere CEO who is thinking of canceling the date on the spot when she takes him to a familiar bakery, the familiar bell rings as the door swings open and you're still there, wearing your baby blue apron, and the polite smile you flashed his date immediately widens when you see him. 

Yandere CEO who freezes up, and then stammers out a greeting, face flushed. His date, who has so far only experienced the cold and stoic front he puts on, is surprised that what has broken down the stone walls he's put up is the cute, young, male baker, who has a bright grin on his face. 

“Milan!” You practically chirp, “It's been so long, where have you been man?” 

You were wondering where he was? You missed him? You missed him? Milan? He couldn't believe his ears, he felt like he could faint.

Milan clears his throat, averting his grey eyes away from you, and avoiding Carrie's burning gaze. 

“I have been preoccupied with work,” He explains, it's not a lie, he's just exaggerating how much work there was for him when it was basically just him doing paperwork and attending meetings every once in a while, “I apologize if my absence has bothered you…” 

You chuckle, “I'm just glad to see you again.” Milan can't help the small smile that forms on his face, but he restrains it from widening into a grin. He's in front of Carrie, a friend but at the same time a business partner, a marriage prospect, an unwelcome intruder into what could've been a moment between you two.

You glance at Carrie as if remembering that she was here, “Ah, sorry, you must've been confused on how I know him, but I'm a friend of Milan,” You smile kindly at her, “Name's [Name] [L/N], nice to meet you!” 

Carrie forces a polite smile on her face, “A pleasure,” Her eyes are filled with a cold fury, though Milan knows it's not directed to you, “My name is Carolyn, Carolyn Deveuraux. However, you may call me Carrie.” 

Milan fakes a cough, “Mhm, anyways.. I'd like to have the usual… and Carrie you'll have..?” 

She hums, “I'll have a cinnabon.” 

You glance between the two, noticing the obvious tension between them, “Oookay, I'll have that prepared for you two in a jiffy,” Milan hands you his card, and savors the slight brush of your fingers, before your warmth is teared away and you slide it back to him when you're done.

He glares at Carrie for scaring you away, but she doesn't even look at him, her eyes are fixed on you. Milan wants to gouge her eyes out, she doesn't even deserve to look at you. Not when she barely knows you. Not like him, who knows every single thing about you that his money can buy for him.

You head into the back to prepare the goods, and Carrie goes back outside where there are tables and chairs. She sits on one, and crosses her arms. Milan settles on the one across from her, posture straight, arms on the table, eyes… decidedly not looking at Carrie. 

“So, you and that man… [Name], was it?” Milan nods, she continues, “You know each other, do you?” She taps one carefully manicured nail against the arm of the chair. Tap, tap, tap. 

Milan does not simply know [Name], he practically lives underneath the younger man's skin, but instead of verbalizing this he nods once more, “We have known each other for two years.” 

“Hm,” Her eyes narrow, they are blue, like ice, “ And how old is [Name]?”

“Twenty-four years old,” Milan tells her, “He had just gotten out of college when we first met.” His eyes trail to the window into the bakery, you still haven't emerged. Why were you taking so long? 

“Does he know?” Carrie’s tone is sharp and frigid. Milan glances at her, if he is not careful then he could be caught up in an inescapable storm. 

“He does not,” Milan admits, “And I'd prefer to keep it that way.” You still have your girlfriend, and he's content with your secrets and the stolen pictures. 

Carrie glares at him, “Why him? Is it his mind? His personality? Or is he simply a pretty boy you like to ogle at?” She's angry, and Milan, for his lack of proper socialization, has been taught to read people, every single shift in expression or body language has a hidden meaning, can tell this fury stems from something personal. 

“That is none of your business,” Milan had known Carrie for a while now, since his 30th birthday party where his father invited all his associates, and Lewis Deveuraux had brought his 28 year old daughter Carolyn, but they were never friends so much as allies in the cutthroat world of capitalism, and she was crossing a line. 

“I can tell your father.” 

“Have you ever heard of the saying, ‘Snitches get stitches’, Carolyn?” Milan asks, “You tell him, and I'll be doing so much more than giving you stitches.” 

Carrie doesn't even flinch, “Not much you can do when stripped of your position at your father's company,” She doesn't get a chance to continue, not when you arrive with a tray carrying the warm pastries. You set the plates down, as well as the complementary coffee. 

“Here you go…” You glance between the two of them, “It's been nice seeing you again Milan,” You smile at Carrie, “Great to meet you too, Carrie, hope to see you around some more.” 

Milan digs a nail into the skin of his palm hard enough to draw blood, if only to stop himself from punching that smirk on Carrie's face off, “Thank you, [Name],” Her voice is pleasant, light and airy, “It was a pleasure to meet a… friend of Milan today.” 

“Same here,” You grin. You wave goodbye to the both of them, then head back into the bakery. 

Carrie's polite smile is gone as soon as you're out of the vicinity, “Let's talk about this later,” She reaches out and places a well-manicured hand on top of Milan's larger one, and her lips curl up, “For now, enjoy the treats your little crush has made for us.” 

Yandere CEO, who since that reunion has started coming back more often. Happy to finally be able to bask in your presence again, thoughts of your girlfriend are dashed from his mind when he saw your smile again after two months of being deprived of it. 

The only downside? Carrie is there as well. Chatting you up, using her charm to lower your guard down. She's a snake, or a wolf in sheep's clothing. Yandere CEO knows she's trying to break you two apart, but he won't let her. 

Yandere CEO who can't stand watching you smile at her, keeping up with her bright mind in ways he knew you could but had never seen before. He didn't know it was possible, but he's become even more enraptured. Handsome with not only a good personality, but also intelligent. God, you were perfect. 

Yandere CEO is able to himself with an endurance he didn't even know he possessed. He's not used to the rage that has been gathering inside him, but it's not that similar to managing his fear and paranoia. He can't do anything to Carrie, not when you two have practically become the best of friends.

Yandere CEO who decides that he can't let himself fall behind, he was here first you know. He's known you for two years while Carrie was only for a few weeks. He musters up the confidence he often uses in meeting rooms, trying to look suave and cool, but instead making you laugh.

“Haha… you're seriously so adorable Milan,” You tease, “What're you acting so serious for?” 

After that, Yandere CEO decides to just act how he did before, it's clearly more effective as you've even invited him to eat with you in the park near the bakery during your lunch hours. Something you haven't done in the two whole years you've known each other. 

He realizes that in a sense, you are like him. Despite his stoicness, and your expressive features, his assertive aura, with your laid back vibe, both of you have an appreciation for genuine people. It makes his heart beat faster, for some inexplicable reason.

Yandere CEO who listens to you attentively as you start opening up to him more about your life. Your struggles with paying off college debt, your inability to land a higher paying job, and how you don't have enough money to pay for your rent. He already knows about all of this, but is happy nonetheless to be able to give you a comforting hug or pat on the back. One time, you actually cried and he got to feel the warmth of your tears as they raced down your face, they soaked into the skin of his palm as he wiped them away and offered you words of comfort.

Yandere CEO who abides by the law of equivalent exchange, and opens up to you more as well.  He's heard before that the more imperfect you make yourself out to be, the more attractive you were for it was a sign of humanity. So what's more human than sharing his past as a bullied fat kid, and the whiplash he got once he had bulked up and attracted admirers like they were flies? Maybe it's the insomnia, the social anxiety, and the knowledge that he's surrounded by shallow people. Whatever it is, it works. 

Yandere CEO who has started to feel genuinely close to you. Where before, it was akin to a celebrity having to deal with an awkward yet starstruck fan, now it felt like you two were old friends having a good time together. This is the first time he's had a relationship like this and he'd rather have his company go bankrupt and end up homeless on the streets than lose it. 

September 12, 2010 

[Name] is not meant for me, he is young, full of potential, and with a girl that he loves. But he tempts me with his warm eyes, beautiful smile, and those kind words of his that has had me wrapped around his finger since the very first day I met him. 

It is wrong, it is dirty. I am too old, too broken, worn out like a hand me down toy. However I cannot help myself. He is like the sun, bright and comforting, yet he burns me so. 

[Name]

[Name]

[Name] 

Even just writing his name has me weak at the knees, it makes me feel alive. Like I can face the day without wanting to retreat back to my bed and refusing to get out till I am dragged by my feet. Just the idea of being able to catch a glimpse at him, gives me the energy to get up and do a marathon. 

[Name] is too charming for his own good. He’s such a sweet boy, not knowing how much he tempts me to do such despicable things every single time I see him talking to customers or laughing with Carrie. He doesn’t know, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know. 

I should be leaving him alone, and never speaking to him again. He is fine, he is perfect, he is like God. But I am nothing but a filthy sinner who shouldn’t even be within his sights. Better kept away, far far away. But I want nothing more than to touch him, to hold his feet in my filthy hands and press my cold lips to it. His foot alone is worth more than my entire career. His life? Priceless. 

However if I were to distance myself from him again, I’d become a shell. No better than a living corpse. My father and mother would be concerned for the business, and they’d keep on trying to figure out why I’m in such a state, till they eventually trace it all back to [Name], and I can’t have that. I don’t want them knowing about him. It is bad enough Carrie knows. But my own parents? 

I cannot accept that. I will not share him. They would take him away from me like they took away everything else good that could’ve happened to me by being my parents and birthing into the life that I’ve led. His warmth would be engulfed in their cold gazes and harsh words, and soon he would be no better than I am, and that cannot happen. 

He may not be meant for me, but I will make sure nobody else can have him. 

Even that girlfriend of his.

☏ - ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇᴍᴀɪʟ: ᴍʀ. ꜱᴀɢᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴘᴇɴ, ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ.

[clare-875]

Time (Levi x Reader)

_____ Pairing: Levi x Reader Summary: No matter how much time passes, love remains (post-war Levi) Warnings: Fluff, some angst Notes: The above GIF does NOT belong to me [AOT Masterlist] _____

Levi turns to you as you look beyond your windows to the sunset that dyes the blue sky orange. The falling sun illuminates your figure and he sees the pause in your movements as you finish drying the dishes for the day. You turn to him and it doesn't matter how much time has passed, he still feels the thrumming of his heart beat faster at your unwavering gaze. Your skin may have lost itself to the etches of time and life, and your hair might now be greyer as it was depleted of its youth, but your eyes, your smile and your beauty, were all the same. You move from the kitchen and join him by his side, sitting slowly on the chair next to his as he holds out a hand to you. You take it instantly. His grasp melds within yours perfectly, so natural and familiar over the decades you've felt the same sensation; the same love.

Your gaze moves from your interwoven hands to the man you have adored for all of this time. You watch the glint of his grey eyes, seeping deep with warmth and affection, it still makes the heat rise to your face. You see scars littered on his form fade with time, see the lines and indentations of his age. But through it all, you merely see in all simplicity, that he is so perfect; he is still so handsome and strong and yours. Levi meets your gaze. He is still in utter wonderment at how you could look at him so unfaltering even after the time that has passed and the injuries that had caused permanent damage during the final fight for freedom. He wonders how he was so fortunate to have found you, to have had you love him for as long as he can remember. You smile, and it makes Levi reminisce.

It makes him remember the days spent "back then."

He remembers you, wide eyes gleaming as you turned to him atop your horse, laughing as you called to him to hurry up. "Come on Levi, since when were you so slow?" You would merely see his irritated glare at your teasing words but unbeknownst to you, his thoughts mingled with those of your beauty and your grace; how lucky he was to still have you by his side. His fears were hidden but they were true. Life as Scouts was never concrete, death could so easily take you from him, just as it could take him from you. Levi craved the lingering peace, but it felt so out of reach and so far away. So, despite the dwindling dream of you and him, he allowed himself to live in the contentment of the moment as you galloped upon an open field, calling his name. He allowed himself to watch as your eyes enlightened in your brief joy, bringing about the only sight he would ever need; you, happy, safe and alive.

He remembers quiet nights amid shared chambers, how he explored your body and you explored his. It was new to both of you, but you could only envision yourself with him, and Levi with you. He remembers glancing at the dark ceiling afterwards as you slept encased by his side. He remembers thoughts that loitered about his head; of his fears and doubts and of you. You. When Levi looks down you are sleeping peacefully at his side, his arm wrapped loosely around you. Only once had Levi been grateful for his insomnia, and it was in this moment; the moment he saw you content and trusting the man humanity deemed the strongest soldier. He feels your warmth and he feels your love even in the silence; even in the absence of your bright eyes. He feels his heart thrum to life subconsciously as he gazes down at you, forever grateful for whatever being had allowed him of you; had allowed one blessing in this cruel world.

He begged they did not take you away.

He remembers seeing you drenched in grief, entangled within the confines of love persevering in the absence of love returned. He remembers your distant eyes and your downcast form; it almost broke him too. He remembers your tears and the hurt that you tried to hide from him, scared for him to see your anguish at the loss you both face each day. He remembers the constricting of his heart. He had held you when you threatened to shatter, and you had finally relented to the comfort he never knew he could give. But he found himself doing what you would do in his moments of distress. The two of you stood as a pillar for the other, when one threatened to fall the other would be there to guide them back up with silent love and murmured words. You were so unspeakably grateful, but he wondered if you knew how much he was grateful for your presence in the moments he hid the despair heavy in his heart; the way you just knew, and provided him with a strength, unmatched.

He remembers the rush of the air and the fear he hid carefully behind a masked facade. He remembers the years when his youth allowed his agile movements, and though in such wretched circumstances, Levi almost missed the weightless feeling of flying through the air. How many times had he torn through the napes of Titans? How many times had he stared death in the face; how many times had he seen it take his subordinates and comrades from him? He remembers the grip you had on his heart as he would also witness you, risking your life for humanity's sake. If demise wasn't so imminent he would look to your graceful form all day, but it wasn't a world that could spare any moment of peace. How many times had the both of you saved the other from death? How many times had his heart rate spiked at every close call? How many times had you returned to his embrace; Levi was forever grateful he never met the time when you didn't.

He remembered the day he could finally call you his, quiet vows binding the eternal love you shared. It was serene and there was a scarcity in the number of guests present to witness a moment of vulnerability from humanity's strongest. He saw you, adorned in a simple white dress, hair pulled up perfectly. He swore you were an angel put on earth just for him as he watched you walk carefully towards him until your hands were intertwined. It was rare, but you saw a tear slip from his eye as you fought your own tears that threatened to spill. His gaze was gentle, a kind of softness that could only be built upon the years of knowing and loving him. Levi remembers your eyes, brimming with love, smile glowing under the dim light of the sky above. It was a moment of normalcy; as though he was merely a man getting married to the person he loved, and there was no world out there devoid of hope or serenity.

So much has happened since then.

So much loss, revelation, war. But through it all, somehow, the dwindling dream persevered. You and him, together and at peace; it was all he ever wanted. It was the life he craved within the walls; it was what he found on the other side. It wouldn't matter how much time passed or how much he and your youth were lost to time. You were beautiful and you always would be to him. He never knew that there could be hope in his dull and macabre life, but you brought it to him every day he was alive. Now the sense of normalcy he craved, the life he wanted so desperately was his every day. Even as the years brought you both close to a distant but inevitable goodbye, all he knew was you were all he needed; you were all he held onto.

You and him, forever; no amount of time could change that.

[beom-s-author]

txt reactions-hyung line..they saw a nightmare

warnings: fluff,angst,curse,f-word,etc.

Choi Soobin

It was all black. He was running away but not enough even his long legs. The person was chasing you and him. You and his legs are getting weaker in every second. He could almost feel himself collapsing. It felt if he has been running for hours. But he couldn't stop. You and him ran down from the road, looking for somewhere to hide. No where..You were all alone with your fate. You and him crushed to the floor. The person arrived near of you and him.

"Shit." you mumbled,trying to push yourself and getting up.

"too late." the person shooted at you. Soobin screamed.

You woke up to Soobin moving around and mumbling in his sleep.

"Jagi?" You croaked out.

All response you got was his whimpering and tossing around even more.

You sat up slowly and looked over to him . You saw his frown and the sweat was starting to form on his face. He looked terrified. Soobin started shaking, you tried to wake him up. He started calling your name louder.

"Soobin! Wake up love," you said with urgency.

After a few more tries yoi finally succeeded and he shot up breathing very heavily.

He looked at you with confused eyes. How you can be alive? The person chased you and him? Where was he? You stroked his back and kisses his forehead. You wiped his sweaty palms and shushed him.

CHOI YEONJUN

It was really late in the night. Your insomnia is messing around with you again and keeping you awake while staring at the ceiling. You squirmed in the bed and takes off the blanket. Yeonjun got awake with your sounds. "Jagi?" When he replied, You looked at him. He saw you awake with bloodshot eyes. He knows that your insomnia is active again. You laid down near of him and he was stroking your hair with his fingertips with soothing melodies.

You fell asleep after a few minutes later. But he was awake. He seems anxious about your insomnia. However, He was tired also because of practise and studio. So he slept also.

He was having a nightmare which is about how you left him. You took your luggages and left him alone in your dorm which you shared like always you did. He saw you lastly. He was scared. He shouted your name but you didn't come back. His body trembled and he woke up. He saw you near of him and holding his hands while sleeping. He sighs in relief and hugs you back. He laid down near of you and replied in his mind that you will never leave him.

CHOI BEOMGYU

You and him sitting together in the practide room. It was end of the day. He holds your hands and kisses your knuckles. You giggle at his actions and press a kiss to his forehead. He smiles at your warm actions and gets up. You both walked to your apartment while talking about the day you spend together. He was happy to see you and hold you in his arms. You were his prioperty. He was stupid in love with you. So you are :)

As you reached to your apartment, He got inside with you and you both started hugging each other and comforting. You started yawning because you were sleepy. Beomgyu notices this and holds you again. "Hey,lie down on me. I want to hear you." He replied. You smiled softly and laid down on him. Your head was on his chest and your tiny arms are holding his waist. You drifted into asleep after a few minutes later. Beomgyu was sleepy also. He decided to sleep with you. And he fell asleep after a few minutes later.

He started dreaming. It was all good but until he saw you with another man. You were kissing the guy and smiling. He felt betrayed and run to you. You looked at him and holds the other guys hand again. You threw your necklace to him which is gift for your birthday and you left him alone. He started crying. His mind was playing game. You returned to him. He got up and looked at you. "You always to busy for me with your works, I want someone for myself. I deserved this."

With your heavy words, he woke up. His heart was beating too fast. He turned to you. You were awake and looking at him. "You okay?" He sighs in relief and nods. He turned to you and replied. "Are you happy with me?" You smiled and nods. "Why did you ask?" He sighs. "Because I am too busy and we sometimes met and spent time with each other." He replied with his heavy heart. His emotions are true and honest. You turned to him. "I love you so much. So I can be aware of your schedule as an idol. Of course it is normal that you are busy. You have a lot of tasks. My duty is being thoughtful towards you." You smiled. He hugged you. "What did I do to deserve you?" You chuckled. "I don't know but it should be something too important."

[fluffylino]

Pillow Prince

Member: sub!chan x reader

Genre: very very very soft smut

Word count: +2k

Includes: insecurities, pillow rutting and just overall fuzziness (subspace? yes), mommy kink

Summary: chan is tired and misses you so much it hurts. he thought he could wait another few weeks till the world tour ends before he could finally meet you again. but things happen and he finds himself needing you stronger than ever.

Inspiration: skz talker go [season 3 episode 6]. Chan just looks so soft with his curly hair and pretty pink lips.

Enjoy~

Chan being so busy with his schedules that he can't possibly even spare a second for you. He knows that you support him and give him the space he needs to work. But it doesn't stop him from feeling guilty.

Even your countless attempts to prove that you're fine and will always confront him if you feel even an ounce of loneliness.

He misses you so much nowadays yet before he can even call you, the stylists are calling him. To either do up his makeup or change into his stage outfit or check the members in ears.

🌸

Chan's bearly holding on.

No matter how much he tries to focus on the screen of his laptop, his brain just won't work.

His fingers dig into the keyboard set up in front of him as he blinks harshly forcing himself to come back to his senses.

Today was just like any ordinary post concert day. He's finished eating dinner. Done his exercise. Even did a little boxing with the group's temporary personal trainer. The food isn't as fulfilling as a nice bowl of kimchi jiggae but he's eaten enough of steak and subway for today because his stomach is content.

Then why was he feeling so pathetic?

He gives up finally, ignoring the tears of frustration blurring his vision. Crawling under the thick covers, he stares at his reflection in the mirror facing the bed.

All sorts of thoughts flow through his mind. How exhausted he looked. His hair was all over the place. His almost non existent eyebrows.

How stupid he was to think he could survive without you. As dramatic as it sounds, he really needed you here beside him.

The pillow he held between his legs seemed so comforting in his fuzzy mind. Unconciously he rolled his hips against the plush object, a gasp leaving him.

How pathetic was he?

'Pull yourself together you idiot' or 'what would the members think if they saw their leader teary eyed and so vulnerable' or how you would laugh at him. Not in a mean way. Never in a mean way.

More to ease him and let him slip into that headspace only the two of you knew about. A headspace where he can be himself and cry out your name as you take care of him.

Then it hits him like a truck. You always take such good care of him. Praise him. Help him with his insomnia by giving up your hours of sleep.

Is he using you? His heart says no but his brain says yes.

Just as he begins to cry harder, his phone rings.

Its an instinct of his.

He jumps up, wiping his tears with the back of his hand and clears his throat before picking it up to see who it is.

Its you. You're calling him.

His heart beats so fast and he feels so spacey.

"Hello....channie?" his eyes widen a little when he realises that you can see his puffy eyes and swollen lips.

"M-Miss you" is all he can say before he's crying again.

There's nothing you can do physically. You want to hold him. But you can't. He's so far away it hurts. Only a couple of weeks more and then he's all yours.

"Lay down for me, love" you urge, watching how he complies without a second thought.

"pillow" he mumbles, turning the camera to show you your pillow. The same pillow you forced him to take because you knew how much he loved your scent.

"Yeah baby? Want to rut against it for me" its almost a command and you chuckle at the redness of his cheeks.

"Keep your phone down, darling. Let me see you properly"

Chan keeps it on the bedside table, giving you a full view of him on the bed through the full length mirror.

"M-Mommy can I?" he mumbles, words muffled as he hides his face in his arm.

"Not until you look at me, pup" he whines loudly yet complies nevertheless.

"Thats my good boy. Now go ahead" you say, ignoring the heat pooling at the pit of your stomach.

His mouth dropped open, as he panted heavily, hips never slowing down. Tears rolled down his cheeks, falling onto the sheets. Utterly debauched.

"Want you m-mommy" is what he cries out, so much pain in his voice.

"Puppy look at me. Doing so good my darling"

Within minutes, he lands face down on the bed, a pathetic high pitched groan filling up the silence.

Your heart aches because you want to hold him close.

No.

You need to shower your baby with love and tell him just how much he matters to you.

"Im sorry for-" he whispers, eyes still cloudy as he picks up the phone.

"Nonsense. No apologizing." You say and its a firm statement.

"Did you eat, love?" He nods tiredly, eyes fluttering.

"Baby do something for me, yeah? Go get some tissues and clean yourself up"

"I will...just want to look at you right now" chan mumbles. He looks peaceful.

"Go ahead, darling. Look at me as much as you want"

[hollowtakami]

WHEN THE WORLD NEEDS YOU

Keigo Takami x GN reader

CONTENT; warning for implications of s/h, suicidal ideation, references to insomnia/depression, hurt comfort, angst, established relationship, pet names (duckie, birdie, baby bird, baby), references to struggles with eating + taking care of yourself amidst depressive episodes

WORD COUNT; 1899

AUTHOR NOTE; it’s currently 5am and my insomnia has kept me up with my thoughts, so i wrote this to try and vent out some feelings. It’s a little heavy in some parts, so please read with caution - if you feel like you can’t read this, please do not feel obligated to do so. You’re loved, you deserve to be here. Please take care of yourself. <3

The morning light seeped under closed curtains, flooding onto the floor of your room. Heavy eyes stared to the ceiling as your heart pounded in your chest. Insomnia had you in the palm of its hand and it was squeezing the life out of you - you were tired, you just wanted rest.

When life felt like a chore, any leftover energy wasted on doing the dishes, you found yourself needing to hug Keigo’s jacket when you tried to fall asleep. It was a survival instinct at this point, you and that jacket against the flurry of thoughts in your head. On nights when Keigo was called in for night patrols, the void that his existence stitched up burst open again. It wasn’t his fault, you put it down to you being broken.

Your eyes were almost as heavy as your heart. That beating clock was weighing you down into the mattress, the heap of blankets on top of you that reminded you of Keigo’s wings, the fur lining of his jacket against your cheek; little things like that brought you peace, but not in this moment. Right now, everything was too much. You groaned, a tired hand lifting to rub your eyes, as if that would aid you in your fruitless attempt at falling asleep.

Not that there was any point in falling asleep. It was well into the early morning now, you’d be awake until afternoon the next day. That’s when you’d be lying in bed, and, like always, your eyes would give up on you. You’d wake up around midnight and the cycle would repeat all over again.

Keigo worked most weekdays, having the day off occasionally, if the agency was feeling generous. He was in high demand most of the time, there’d been a sudden spike in villain activity.

He’d work to keep you safe, he always promised you that before he kissed your knuckles gently, hurrying off to aid citizens in need.

You would always stand on the balcony and watch him fly off, see how his shape got smaller the further away he got. Jealousy burned deep in the pit of your stomach; you felt selfish for it, but you couldn’t help it.

You needed Keigo, but everyone else needed him more because people didn’t know how to behave themselves. You were angry at the world for stealing him, you pinned it down as that and have ignored it since.

But now you were laying alone in your bed, his jacket giving off a homely scent that made your heart hurt. The blankets weren’t enough to replace the weight and warmth of those crimson feathers anymore - you became desperate, your heart was banging against your chest cavity, screaming and begging for release.

The relief never came. It never would until he came back.

Thoughts of that twisted kind of relief found its way into the crossroads of your mind, jumping straight into the highway of neurons and catching you by surprise.

Elsewhere, Keigo was just finishing up with a petty thief who’d robbed a convenience store. This spike of criminal activity was very much morphed into a moral panic by the media. The most dangerous thing Keigo had had to deal with recently was a hostage situation, but for some reason, even those were rare. It seems the LOV had scared most low-level thugs into hiding, or in the very least, had seriously knocked their confidence and they were doing everything they could to seem tough; even if that was stealing melon bread from their local store.

Keigo stretched, yawning as his wings spread. He stood patiently waiting for the police to come and collect the restrained villains at his feet. They were petty thieves, sure, but Keigo had had enough action for one night.

Checking his phone in the meantime, his free, ungloved hand tapped away at his screen to check for any messages from you. He did this a lot, any time he had free time on the job, mostly. He put it down to muscle memory.

He frowned a little when he noticed you hadn’t texted him - at all, in fact.

Humming to himself, he pocketed his phone when he noticed a flash of red and blue, a siren’s screams coming into earshot.

With a laugh, he knelt down to the villains, plucking a feather from his left wing and poking it into the tight ropes of one of the angry thugs.

“I’ll let them take care of you from here!” Keigo saluted towards the police cars approaching, before wasting no time to lift off, cutting through the air with godlike speed. Leisurely flying through the early morning air, Keigo yawned. Granted, the air was sure to wake him up, breeze stroking back his messy golden bangs, tired eyes hidden behind his visor. His wings flapped as he reached for his back pocket, taking out his phone again and calling your number.

“Come on, birdie, pick up,” He clicked his tongue, hoping you’d be awake, even if your lack of messages told him you were probably asleep.

Straight to voicemail. The robotic phone voice played out into the morning breeze and Keigo felt concern start to bubble at the bottom of his stomach. He weighed his options - you definitely hadn’t blocked him, you never turned off your phone either. He eased his mind a little by concluding that you were just asleep. Still, if he was gonna get any sleep himself, he needed to check up on you.

As to not surprise you with his visit, he made sure to text you that he was coming over.

Your phone buzzed. It snapped you out of your thoughts, making you jump. You noticed a missed call from Keigo, a message too. You mumbled to yourself how pathetic you were for drowning so deep in your thoughts that you couldn’t hear your own phone ringing.

You didn’t have the energy to text him back, to tell him that everything was fine and that he didn’t need to come over. The tear stains on your cheek, your racing heart, clammy skin; they told you otherwise.

That one thought pulsated around your head, it was laughing at you, taunting you. You wanted to hold your head, shake it out in a screaming fit.

You would, if there wasn’t a worried, wide-eyed Keigo at your bedroom window.

You slithered off your bed, sniffling and rubbing your eyes as you unlocked and lifted the sill of your window. Keigo wobbled inside, folding his wings and soon regaining his balance. You could feel his eyes darting around your room but you couldn’t look at him, your head down. You were ashamed of yourself, but then again, your depression always did that to you.

Keigo didn’t feel the need to ask as to why you were covering your arms.

His eyes met the spare jacket he gifted you, wrapped messily around one of your pillows next to a pile of blankets scrunched up like discarded paper, forgotten thoughts, notes.

“Duckie,” Keigo’s voice shook as he pulled your head into his chest, his arms folding around your frame as your own stayed stuck to your sides. “Duckie, talk to me.”

Your frame shook with unexpected sobs. You wanted to repress, but you couldn’t. Keigo made you vulnerable. Whether or not that was a good thing, you didn’t know. His hand to your head, softly stroking back the hair stuck to your face with the glue of your tears, his other hand gently pressed into your back, applying a pressure that made you feel safe, secure, amidst the storm of your feelings.

You tried not to make too much noise, nor did you want to soil Keigo’s hero costume with tears you didn’t want to shed in the first place. You felt so pathetic, like you didn’t need to feel this way, like depression only picked on you to mock you - you had no reason to be sad, it told you, you were just a fraud, nobody wanted you here, it pointed and laughed at you every moment you opened your eyes unto the world.

A world you didn’t wish to be born into, a world that cursed you the moment you left the warmth of your mother’s womb. A world that Keigo was in, too.

“I just,” You choked on your emotions. They got stuck in your throat and they stayed there, adamant to steal your breath. “I just don’t wanna do this anymore”

Your words came rushing out into the fabric of Keigo’s shirt, muffled as they poured from your heart. You couldn’t speak anymore, your ribs, shoulders, your entire body relentlessly heaving up and down from your cries.

Keigo held you patiently, hugging you tightly and grounding you. He slowly wrapped his wings around you, letting you get lost in the softness, the warmth.

A small kiss was planted onto your head like a small seed of hope, Keigo whispering into your hair. “Hey, easy, birdie,” His hand stroked your hair again - it was definitely muscle memory. “Just breathe with me, slowly, in and out,”

Gently applying more pressure to your back, Keigo held you closer to him as if he wanted to become one with you, to be able to fight off all your pain for you and set you free. Amidst the exaggerated epidemic of villain activity, the one villain he could never defeat was your sadness, and it killed him.

He felt relieved as he felt you breathing in time with him, your shaking subsiding to small shivers, sobs tuning down to sniffling.

“There you go, baby,” Keigo slowly lifted your chin with a hooked finger, looking into the bloodshot-white of your eyes. “I'm here now, i’m gonna take care of you,”.

If there was one thing you were grateful for, it was Keigo’s patience. He understood that your depression found its way into your bone marrow and made functioning, living, so difficult. He knew that there were days where you hardly ate anything or drank any water, days where you swore to yourself you’d do that one chore, but never did - it was okay, he’d always tell you.

“I’m so proud of you, baby bird, so proud of you,” Keigo muttered into your hair, “I’m so glad you’re still here,”

You smiled as best you could.

“I love you, Keigo.” You mumbled, pressing an ear to his chest, the sound of his heartbeat was a lifeline to you.

Keigo breathed through his nose, kissing your forehead and squeezing you gently as he smiled. “I love you too, duckie, so much.”

After calming you down, Keigo would bandage you up, guiding you through it. He’d drink a glass of water and grab a snack with you, because he knew it made it easier for you. He’d hold you in his arms, swaying on his feet and making you giggle because he loved to hear your laugh and see that smile of yours. He loved you, he wanted to keep you safe. He’d keep fighting that villain in your head with you, Keigo was going to be there for you no matter what.

After making sure you were comfortable in bed, he mumbled a small goodnight to you, spooning you and planting gentle kisses on your back and shoulders, humming and lulling you to sleep.

And you would sleep, for the first time in weeks, peacefully.

[skyward-floored]

Whumptober 2023 Masterlist

I’m going to try and beat the rush this year and update this as I go! We’ll see how that goes lol. You can also, as always, read these on ao3.

Day 1 - (Swooning, “How many fingers am I holding up?”) feat. Twilight & everyone

Day 2 - (Thermometer, Delirium (“I’ll call out your name but you won’t call back”)) feat. Sky

Day 3 - (Make it stop, Solitary confinement) feat. Wild, Time, Twilight, Wind & everyone

Day 4 - (Shock, “I see the danger, it’s written there in your eyes”) feat. Legend, Hyrule, Warriors & everyone

Day 5 - (Debris, Pinned down) feat. Four & Wind

Day 6 - (Made to watch, “it should have been me”) feat. Warriors & Twilight

Day 7 - (Alleyway, “Can you hear me?”) feat. Legend & Wild

Day 8 - (Outnumbered, Betrayal) feat. Hyrule, Warriors, & Time

Day 9 - (Polaroid, “You’re a liar”) feat. Time, Malon, & everyone

Day 10 - (Afternath of failure) Continuation to day 4, feat. Warriors, Legend, & everyone

Day 11 - (Animal trap, Captivity) feat. Wild

Day 12 - (“I haven’t slept in days, but who’s counting?” (Insomnia)) feat. Wind, Time & Twilight

Day 13 - (Cold compress, Infection, “I don’t feel so good”) feat. Warriors & Four

Day 14 - (Water inhalation, “Just hold on”) feat. Twilight & Sky

Day 15 - ("I'm fine") feat. Legend & Time

Day 16 - (Flatline) feat. Four, Wild, & everyone

Day 17 - (Collar, Touch aversion) feat. Time & Twilight (Sky, Wild, & Four)

Day 18 - (Blindfolded, Tortured for information) feat. Warriors

Day 19 - (Psycological) feat. Legend & Malon

Day 20 - (Found family, Blanket) Continuation to day 17, feat. Twilight, Time & everyone

Day 21 - (Restraints, “Don’t move”) Continuation to day 8, feat. Warriors, Hyrule & Time

Day 22 - (Glass shard, “Watch out!”) feat. Time & everyone

Day 23 - (Shadows, “it’s gonna get me by the end of the night”) feat. Wild & Wind

Day 24 - (Neglect) feat. Sky & everyone

Day 25 - (Storm, “You’re not delivering a perfect body to the grave”) Continuation to day 22, feat. Time & everyone

Day 26 - (Seeing double, “You look awful”) feat. Hyrule

Day 27 - ("Let me see") feat. Dot & Four

Day 28 - (Sacrifice) feat. Sky & everyone

Day 29 - ("What happened to me?") Continuation to day 25, feat. Time, Warriors & everyone

Day 30 - ("Not much longer...") feat. Hyrule & Legend

Day 31 - (Emptiness, (“I thought that I was getting better”)) feat. Wind & Sky

[morganbritton132]

Oh man Steve’s nightmare on the tour bus 😭😭

How often do our boys get nightmares? I would imagine Steve’s are a grab bag of demodogs, Billy, the Russians, the lake etc. and Eddy’s are Chrissy, demobats, maybe even Jason Carver??

Anyways I love your EMTSS! Reading them helps me relax after a stressful day at work ❤️

I got your other ask about knowing how to spell Eddie’s name and honestly, I didn’t even notice it was misspelled so no worries. Also, happy to help you relax in anyways I can.

 

Nightmares are no stranger to any of the party members and it’s not unusual to receive a check-in phone call in the middle of the night, but it typically comes in waves. There is usually an increase in phone calls and nightmares around the anniversary of Will’s disappearance, the mall fire, or Vecna.

Steve tends to have more nightmares than Eddie, but he also keeps a fairly regimented sleep schedule whereas Eddie has insomnia. There have been times where Eddie won’t sleep or will sleep very little for days just to run himself ragged enough to have a dreamless sleep.

The way they react to their nightmares are also different.

Steve has a more physical reaction. Most of his nightmares are about situations where he had to fight back and it causes him to lash out in his sleep or when he’s trapped in his head. Steve is also a sleepwalker so he will bring the nightmare to you sometimes.

Steve’s nightmares tend to be about the Russians, about Billy, and about the junkyard going all wrong and losing the kids. He has nightmares about the creature that crawled through the wall in Joyce Byers’ living room and drowning in Lover’s Lake. He has nightmares about watching Eddie die in Dustin’s arms and not being able to do anything about it.

He also has nightmares about normal things he’s anxious about. He has nightmares about forgetting, about being forgotten or left behind. He has nightmares about the Upside Down coming back and being in a position where he can’t protect his friends anymore, but the worst are the nightmares about Barb.

They don’t even pop up around the time of her disappearance. He gets them most often around the anniversary of his father’s death. It’s always the same – the way his parents were more angry about it happening at their house than that it happened at all, the weird way that lecture got physical, her nearly empty funeral. He dreamed of her, water-logged and unforgiving, and how he could never find enough words to say that he was sorry.

Eddie’s reaction to nightmares are more subdue.

It’s a juxtaposition to everything everybody knows about him. He spent a lifetime running away, but the nightmares have always froze him to the bone. They play out in vivid detail behind his eyes while his body lays stiff and trembling. He is quiet in a way that is always scary to see, barely making a sound beyond the hitching of his breath.

Eddie dreamed a lot about Chrissy.

He dreamed about saving her, about doing everything right so she walked out of the trailer that night and how it didn’t matter if he did or not. He dreamed about the cracking of her bones and her eyes caved into her head, and it always felt like he was back there again.

He dreamed about the bats. He dreamed about the swarm, about fucking up and Dustin getting bit, but he also dreamed about Rick’s boat house. He dreamed of the basketball team finding him and beating him until he couldn’t feel the punches. He dreamed about Patrick, floating out of the water and knowing that he couldn’t save him either.

Eddie dreamed other nightmares too – about his dad and the time before he lived with Wayne. He dreamed about what his mother might say about her queer son and if it would repeat the echoes of his father’s anger. He dreams about losing Steve and not finding him, about Vecna coming back and ripping away the life he built.

He had nightmares and he’d wake up with a wet gasp in the arms of his husband because even though it’s not obvious, it always seems to be to Steve.

[oneirataxia-haechan]

Call D C

Taeyong and Ten come over for cuddles when you’ve had a rough day.

Pairing: Taeyong x Ten x reader

Word count: 768 words

Genre: Fluff

Out of all the members if you ever needed anything from advice to company for dinner, you knew who to call. Taeyong or Ten. They both always answered your calls if they could, and if not they’d make sure to text to ensure all was okay. Tonight you were having a particularly hard night. You had had an emotional day, making for an emotional night, as well as some lovely insomnia. It was late and you didn’t expect an answer but you tried them anyways. First was Ten. He didn’t answer which you figured due to their busy schedules. You tried Taeyong this time, not very hopeful for an answer.

“Well good evening.” You heard a groggy voice say, it continued. “What’s the matter?”

“I’m really sorry to be calling this late but I can’t sleep.”

He noticed your puffy red eyes and knew you probably went back and forth on wanting to call him. He thought for a second, still sleepy.

“Give me a few and I’ll be right over.”

Before you could disagree and say you just wanted to talk, Taeyong hung up. Your phone began to ring and you answered it before you could even read the name, thinking he hung up on accident.

“Hello sweets.” This voice was definitely softer than the previous sleepy speech.

Noticing your face, just like Taeyong, he began again before you could.

“I had a feeling there was a reason I couldn’t sleep. I’ll clean up my work and head over.”

“Ten no, I’m okay, I just wanted to talk.” You pleaded, not needing them both to mess up their schedules just for you.

“Hmmmm…. I’m not sure I believe that.” He said giggling, trying to make you feel a little more lighthearted. “I’ll see you shortly.”

Now both were on their ways to you, and you really just wanted to talk to them. You decided to text Ten to tell him that Taeyong was already on his way. He answered back with, ‘not if i beat him there!’ All you could say was ‘fine.’ Both of them are determined and won’t let you say no to their no invitation visit. You accepted your fate and just waited.

While waiting you went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. Then you heard a light knock. You were slightly curious who got here fastest. Opening the door you saw the sweet warm smile of Ten. He really wasn’t lying when he said he was going to beat Taeyong here. You both ended up in the kitchen waiting for Taeyong. He arrived maybe 5 minutes after Ten and was surprised to see someone else with you when you let him inside.

“I tried to tell both of you no but neither of you listened so now both of you are here.”

They both laughed, pulling you into a big hug in between them.

“Weirdos.” You said while being squished, then getting room to breathe again. You took in a dramatic deep breath like you were dying for some air. They both gave you the same annoyed ‘for real?’ look as you giggled. You were already feeling better just being with them. Taeyong then took off his shoes and went straight for the bedroom. He was still tired since you woke him up in the middle of his nice sleep, again you tried to tell him no. You could hear him fall down onto the bed in the silence surrounding you. Ten began to make some hot tea thinking this may help some. It felt like it took no time at all to make and you and him were drinking tea and talking about your days. You shed a few tears talking about yours, he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you to him. Exhaustion and the calming tea finally caught up to you and you were getting tired. Making your way to the bedroom, he followed tirelessly behind you. You giggled as you stood at the end of your bed seeing Taeyong cuddled up with your blanket.

“He really is cute when he’s not being annoying, right?” Ten started laughing lightly then continued. “You know I’m right y/n.” You answered with a smile. You both decided to climb into bed trying not to wake Taeyong up. Luckily he was on the side of your bed so you laid next to him, in the middle. Ten wrapped his arm around your waist and snuggled his head in the crease of your neck.

“Thank you again.” You said sleepily.

All Ten could do in response was smile into your neck.

[sutherkins]

what dating peter sutherland is like ! 💌

part one because i have a lot of thoughts about what dating him would he like

• loves calling you cute pet names (pretty girl, sweetheart, princess, angel, baby are his top 5)

• he has insomnia and has a hard time falling asleep

• he accidentally stays up all night sometimes to make sure you’re okay if you have a scary encounter that day

• hes so protective of you, he asks you if you need him to beat someone up, you think hes just joking but he’s being completely serious

• he likes to lay on your lap while you play with his hair, it relaxes him so much that sometimes he falls asleep

• very handsy but like, in a respectful way

• he knows your boundaries whether you’re in public or at home and wont cross them

• you first met when you moved in next to him and eventually you’re at his place so often that he just asks you to move in

• he loves holding your hand, it grounds him

• when you moved in you practically forced him to let you keep your giant clawfoot bathtub and he finds that he likes it too because that means theres room for both of you and if you think peter likes cuddles he loves wet, naked ones

• speaking of wet and naked

• he’s really good at eating pussy. dont ask me how i know, i just do

• he’s super attentive and rly takes his time getting to know your body and the certain things that make you tick

• he loves when you’re on top

• you both have a praise kink which works out because you both love praising eachother

• he can get kinky but he really isnt into anything too crazy

• i know we all want this man to top us but lets be real if he had to choose he’d be on the bottom because he loves looking at you and he thinks its hot having you on top and being controlling

• if im being like, completely honest and faithful to the character, id say his kinks are as follows

• praise kink, light bondage, i think he’d be open to being blindfolded and doing the same to you, is lingerie kink a thing?

• any kink that could hurt you is pretty much off limits

• he tries some light breath play on you when you ask him and he finds that he actually doesnt mind it as long as its nothing crazy

• if hes not being submissive hes being a very very gentle dom. as much as i’d for him to dominate the hell out of me its just not the way his brain is wired

• most of the time you’re both on a level playing field though

• he likes slow, sensual, hard and soul crushing sex

• he can go fast if you want him to but he likes to savor the moment and drag the pleasure out for as long as he can

• and even though he isnt a rough guy in bed, he still takes the best care of you afterwards

• he cleans you up, brings you water or juice — maybe a snack too

• makes you drink and eat before reminding you to go to the bathroom

• while you’re in there he gets ur pjs and anything else u need ready (medications and whatnot) and helps you into them before laying back on the bed for you to curl up in his arms

• he kisses your head softly and murmurs “love you, pretty girl” before you settle into sleep

[kidresearcherindigo]

'Sup; name's Indigo! I'm 17, I'm a They, and I'm also a student at Naranja-Uva! Originally I'm from Unova, though! And I lived in Galar for like a year before moving to Paldea. Been in Paldea for about a year now?

I had a rotomblr for a while, but I mostly just lurked. Figured I might give socializing a try!

I'm like. One of the champions? But it's literally no big deal I don't even like to battle unless it's with friends.

I really like Pokémon Biology; I wanna become a Pokémon Biologist someday. I have three close friends; I won't namedrop them because that's rude to do without permission, but you're probably gonna hear about 'em a lot; we call ourselves the ✨️ Sandwich Squad! ✨️ (ok, only two of us call it that, but shhhhhh)

I got a full team team of Pokémon, and they are:

Luna - (Unovan) Zoroark; the one in my picture. She moved to Paldea with me!

Yuki - (hisuian) Zoroark; don't ask how I got her it's complicated. Also moved to Paldea with me!

Ember - Skelidirge; got him as a Fuecoco when I enrolled in the academy

Loaf - Daschbun; We met before I beat my first gym badge as a fidough

Doc - Hypno; he constantly tries to hypnotize me, but the insomnia's just too strong lol

Magnolia - Ampharos; just happy to be a part of something like all the time.

I also got this robot Cyclizar named Miraidon? Doesn't go by any nicknames officially but I call them Salami Monster sometimes as a joke. They're super smart though!

Also I have exactly one (1) weird talent and that's that I can talk to Zoruas/Zoroarks in their language. Only them though; I'm still working on learning how to talk to other Pokemon.

Anyway I'm probably just gonna talk about school, and pokemon like everyone else. Just boring shit. Maybe make a meme or two, we'll see how it goes!

//ooc under cut

Everything's on; M!A is on but lightweight

No NSFW

ic hate is fine

This character's lore is connected to @profchamomile and by extension @porygon-supremacy and @anomaly-sanctum (but you won't see interactions with the latter two for a while). I run all of those blogs.

Canon's a combination of games, anime and whatever else. As far as the SV story goes, it's post main story and pre expansions. Also the ruinous treasures haven't been unlocked yet.

This blog is primarily low stakes. Might get up to drama stakes down the line but at this moment those plots will be between my own characters only (with other characters being portrayed via fics. If anyone WANTS plot involvement feel free to ask me!

[dat-town]

hypnotized (in your eyes)

never seen circus masterpost

Characters: hypnotist!Hyunjae & female reader

Setting & genre: magical realism au

Summary: You find a hypnotist to forget your recurring dreams. Little do you know you once forgot him too.

Warnings: general creepiness of an eerie circus, ambiguous ending, mentioned insomnia

Words: 2.3k

For @restlessmaknae, happy D-4 <3 Not to copy you but I realized that the best way not to have to cut another story in half because I couldn't finish it in time is to make sure I can stop pretty much any point and these short stories came pretty easy. You know I already told you about this idea like last year, so here it is finally. Keep your eyes out for the next stories <3

The wind chime outside of the ragged tent played a slow symphony to the rhythm of the night breeze.

The tall boy inside was humming an old folk song as he flipped through the pages of a book. It was a slow day but it was always hit or miss with the circus. They were constantly on the move and there was no way to tell how many people would stumble upon the red lights and fake golden glitter when they stopped.

Hyunjae had already assisted a married couple by helping an old memory to resurface and a teenage girl to face her trauma. People came to him with all kinds of requests, people who were brave or desperate enough to open their minds to him, to let him reach in there and pull. Like marionettes on strings. Thoughts were like dolls for him to play with. Lucky for many, he was a nice player, especially when he was paid handsomely.

It was the wind that he noticed first. The moment of cold when the entrance of the tent opened and closed. Then he looked up from his book, over his propped up legs on his desk and saw you. Words froze on the tip of his tongue as he watched you looking around in wonder, rooted to one spot by the edge of the tent. The flower pattern of your dress reminded him of the blooming spring. Last spring when he had last seen you. You had stood right there where you did then. You were awed at the decorations of his tent as if you had never seen anything more interesting than enchantments hanging from the top and books on alchemy. You turned slowly, gaze sticking to the fairy lights hanging all over the insides of the tent and when your eyes met his, you suddenly turned bashful, a dusty pink colour high on your cheeks.

"Hello," you bowed politely like a stranger and Hyunjae had to remind himself to get his shit together. Of course, you greeted him as if you had never met before. Because for you, you never did.

"Good evening. How can I help you?" The boy asked as he cleared his throat. He wasn't proud of the way he stumbled as he put his feet down on the ground and stood up. His hands gripped on the edge of his desk when you walked closer, clueless and innocent. Just like last time.

For someone who lived longer than most people, it was quite embarrassing how fast his heart beat just because of your closeness. His chest felt tight too when he saw the apples of your cheeks grow with the shy smile blooming on your lips as you stopped on the other side of his desk.

For a foolish moment, Hyunjae hoped naively that you would tell him that you were joking, that you would call him by his name and tell him to keep his part of the promise. But of course, the rational side of him knew it didn't work like it. You weren't supposed to know who he was or recognize him even if it wasn't the first time you met. But he remembered your smiles and soft touches way too vividly to not hope you were an exception to the circus' rules: everybody was bound to forget about their visit.

"I... I was told that hypnosis can help me forget something," you answered, visibly sceptical, which made Hyunjae crack a smile. You had been just like this the last time too: you had thought he was just a con man cheating money out of naïve people. You were one of those rational people who only believed things they saw and you didn't even believe what you saw, not until you were sure it was real which was a smart thing to do at a place where you could run into people swallowing down knives.

The you from last spring would have never asked something like that of him though. You had been caught up in the rain and looked for a hideout. His tent had just been there, warm and inviting. Hyunjae had done his best to entertain you, amused himself by your stubbornness when you hadn't believed what he could do. So he wondered what could have happened that led you right back here, this time on purpose. The psychic girl from the tent next door would have told him it was destiny even though Hyunjae had never asked her to draw cards for him.

He hadn't wanted to hope in vain because he knew the inevitable: you would eventually leave and he had no choice but to stay at the circus. So in a way it felt nothing but a cruel play of the fate that it led you back to him. Yet, he couldn't send you away just to spare the heartache.

"Sure, it can. Please, take a seat," he pointed at the chair beside you before stepping to the kettle next to his bookshelf to prepare a cup of warm lotus tea. Selfishly, he stole glances at you while he was busy with the preparations. The ribbon in your hair was skewed and your lips were pink like peonies. Your curious doe eyes were warm and he remembered all too well how they used to be directed at him.

"Two cubes of sugar, a bit of lemon," he said as he slid the steaming cup in front of you and smiled knowingly at the surprise clear on your face.

"How?" You mumbled, eyes widening suspiciously which made him want to tease you. He couldn't have told you that he had learned your preference last time you had been there and he couldn’t forget it ever since.

"Lucky guess," he lied and watched as you sniffed at the sweet blue tea doubtfully before giving it a try. Hyunjae was relieved to see the corners of your mouth turn upwards even though he knew you would like it.

The boy unconsciously fixed his collar as he sat down across from you and licked his lower lip before he asked the question that had been on his mind ever since you had told him why you had come to him.

"What would you like to forget?"

You took a small, careful sip from your tea before setting the cup down again and looked up at Hyunjae. Your gaze was open and trusting and he felt his heart skip a beat. Oh, if only you knew how conflicted you made him feel.

"I keep dreaming of a place," you spoke up quietly, waiting to be interrupted but the boy waited patiently for you to keep going on. You brushed your hair out of your face, fingers tangling in your locks. "It's not even a real place. I have tried to look it up but it doesn't exist. In my dreams, I want to go there. I want to go there so bad that when I wake up I miss this place where I had never been and where I cannot go. It's like I feel trapped where I am. Sometimes I can't even sleep because I keep daydreaming about this place. I've tried everything to get my mind off it but I just can't. I know it sounds crazy but–"

"It's not," Hyunjae stopped you before you could have felt embarrassed. "Can you tell me more about this place? What's it like?"

You looked him in the eyes, gulped and then nodded, your eyes determined.

"It's a place by the sea. You can see the stars from the beach clearly and there are no villages as far as one can see. There are stairs though, in the air, that lead to a palace."

Hyunjae couldn't do anything but stare. He looked at your face closely, watching your expression, trying to figure out if you were playing a prank on him. That couldn't be. You weren't supposed to remember that. His home.

You had been daring. Calling him a fraud. Telling him to prove it if he could really hypnotise you and Hyunjae shouldn't have. He didn't use his power just for the sake of it after all, he used it for work, for actual clients, not overly curious girls. But it was raining outside and it was unlikely that he would get a new customer anytime soon, so he might as well just kill time, couldn't he?

He had sat you down, given you tea, lit candles and told you to close your eyes. Your lips were curled up in a smile, playfully mocking, as if challenging him to prove you wrong. Then Hyunjae took out his pocket watch and told you to imagine a pastel blue, endless sea.

He could have taken you anywhere. He still wasn't sure why he had chosen a place so personal to him but watching you explore the celestial palace had warmed his heart. He had told you childhood stories and anecdotes that you believed to be made up stories. You had told him so when you had opened your eyes and smiled at him so brightly. You had asked dozens of questions about his books, about how he had learned this and he had told you. He had always known you would forget it when leaving the circus, so there had been no reason to fear being exposed. You couldn't have known that though, not then.

"Will you be here tomorrow, too?" You had asked when the rain had stopped yet you had seemed reluctant to leave. Hyunjae had been too selfish to tell you to go as well. He was a lot of things but he wasn't a liar. Usually.

"Probably not. The circus never stays long anywhere," he had told you and watched the disappointment sweep into your expression slowly like a cloth drinks up liquid.

"Oh. And will you be back?" You had kept going and Hyunjae had pretended that the hope in your voice hadn't messed with his heart.

"Probably. But I have no idea when. I go where the circus goes. You will forget me by then anyway," he had said as cold and firm as he could and you hadn't asked why. You hadn't asked why people forgot, why rarely anybody had visited twice, why he was acting like it was a final goodbye. You had just leaned against the entrance, under the fairy lights, your hair still half-wet from the rain, your smile suddenly saddened.

"Can you promise me something?" You had looked at him with those pretty eyes, your voice like melting honey to his ears and it had taken everything in him not to make stupid promises. He hadn't said anything but you continued anyway. "If we meet again, remind me?"

It was a sweet memory, locked in a small jar next to Hyunjae's heart but he felt the glass cracking as his fingers around his pocket watch trembled.

"Are you okay?" The gentle voice and the warmth of a hand on his shoulder helped him snap out of it. He cleared his throat and pulled farther away from you who had circled the desk and stood right there, beside him with worry clear in your eyes.

"Yes, sorry. If you're ready, we can start. I will help you forget and stop these dreams," he told you because he hadn't promised you anything back then. It wouldn't have done anything good if he reminded you of him and your shared past. You would leave and forget either way.

You nodded but hesitated for a moment before walking back to the chair. Hyunjae felt like he could breathe again when he lit the candle in the middle of the table. He felt in control during hypnosis after all.

"Close your eyes," he instructed you in a mellow voice, never taking his eyes off your face, the way your eyelashes trembled as you complied. "Now imagine the place you told me about. Do you see the sea? The stars? The stairs?"

With each question, Hyunjae took a step closer to you, the ticks of his pocket watch louder by the moment.

"Okay, now turn your back to the sea," the boy continued after you confirmed that you were where you were supposed to be. "Good. Now turn around slowly. Once. Twice. Three times. With each turn you feel your surroundings disappear into nothing. First the palace and the stairs. Then the sea and the beach. Lastly, the stars."

"One. Two. Three," you mumbled quietly under your nose with your eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

Hyunjae leaned down with one of his hands holding onto the backrest of the chair before he snapped his fingers right beside your ears to wake you up from the hypnosis. Your eyes widened suddenly with clarity and your gazes locked. Hyunjae's breath caught in his throat. Gosh, you were magnetic, how could he have forgotten?

He couldn't make himself move, not even when you leaned forward, lifted your hand and touched his cheek, caressing almost lovingly. Your eyes were dark and dreamy, cloudy with the after-effect of the hypnosis and your lips were bitten red like cherries and your voice was like an enchantment itself.

"Hyunjae."

His name fell from your lips like a plea or a summon and it was his turn to widen his eyes in surprise. Before he could have said anything though, you fainted right into his arms.

The wind chime outside of the ragged tent played a slow symphony to the rhythm of the morning breeze.

Hyunjae was humming an old folk song about the celestial palace and a runaway immortal as he peeked outside. There was nobody there, just the clear sea and white sand with shells you collected from the day before.

The circus had left long ago.

[watashime-ciel]

insomnia may be strong but i'm stronger. so here are the Just Dane dances and coaches i'm assigning to my rhythm heaven scrunklies because nobody asked but i want to post this anyways for science purposes

starting with the holy lemon, DJ Yellow:

definitely, his favourite dances are the three hatsune miku ones, but besides that, he's probably going with a good old jason derulo dance or Get Ugly, as his first option to warm up. Circus extreme version, Hey Mama and Daddy are probably his next options

now, a coach thats perfect for him is P3 from All About Us in JD17

they radiate they/them queer vibes AND the colours are literally Yellow idc hes dressing with those colours and slaying in the process

for Blue i'll go with something more simple, but at the same time groovy. and whats more groovy that Groove by Jack & Jack

he's not the one that likes to play JD, but he enjoys watching the videos like a toddler watching five little monkies jumping on the bed. Groove is the only one that he might dance. but other songs he enjoys are Rave in the Grave, Tumbum, Leila, Instruction, Spectronizer and Built For This, all because of the colours

and the coach i'm assigning is the Instruction teacher from JD18

the colours are vibrant, and the clothing quite simple but attractive. perfect for an artist's eye like Blue's

oh boy for J.J i got very creative

that was sarcasm

did you know JD added Bring Me To Life to one of the latest games? i literally just found out while playing JDNow lol. definitely his favourite to dance with Cecil, even if the move in "Save me!" is impossible for them two. theeeey need a bit more of movement

J.J would also like whatever avril lavigne song there is in the game. idk if theres more, but Girlfriend is his jam so don't bother him for the next 3 minutes while he dances

for the coach, i mean literally Blake and Liv from the BMTL fit him. you tell me why

just like me, Cecil can't let go of his childhood favourite song, and that's Spectronizer. little Cecil would enjoy jumping around pretending to be a power ranger or something. and his favourire coach is the one i am assigning to him

literally perfect. live laugh love yellow ranger

with Connie i have a problem called "she fits most of the songs i like so this is going to be endless". but i am mainly assigning Tumbum for the second coach and her "protagonist" role, Smile by IOWA for the clothing and energy, and Adeyyo for the clothing aswell. literally all outfits from these would look good on her-

but here are two specific coaches that are literally her

the Smile coach is literally her but in purple and blue, and the Adeyyo coach because IH MY GOD... /pos

Jenna is simple. she also loves miku, one of the favourite songs is Love Ward, its on JD18, so what else could she ask for?

to be Love Ward JD Miku of course

i promise you im drawing her like that

Debbie is the kind that dances to everything she possibly can, and enjoys it more when its some stupid dance like Daddy, Dragostea Din Tei, Juju on The Beat, Sayonara, Chiwawa... i could go on. she also enjoys overly happy or active coaches, always being the first one to get a star and the crown

theres no other coach more perfect for her than Suzuka from Atarashii Gakko

Christmas' over, that means that Halloween is near for Mako. she adores all Halloween related dances; Ghost In The Keys, Time Warp, Rave In The Grave, Magic Halloween, you name it and she loves it, having a specific coach she always wants to be

but her favourite coach and therefore the one i am assigning is the Magic Halloween witch

also the colours are some i believe she would use for a Halloween outfit, and she loves stars so the skirt was what got her for sure

surprisingly, So'ra can stand up from that pink car and can also dance. she likes something... uh. i. dont know the exact word. but not so much to follow, or maybe a lot but the background helps and doesnt makes it hard. Hey Mama, Black Widow, Circus extreme version, Gibberish and others, in that order, is her dance list

the coach i decide to assign is the Black Widow

the dance gives a bit mysterious vibe, and the moves are fast enough to be in perfect sync with the beat. its perfect

do you ever wonder if someone could have some sort of crush in a JD coach? ask Peach, as she fell in love with the P2 in Tumbum. its not that in assigning her to Peach, but rather making a connection?

shes like Blue, watches JD dances like a visual stimulation thingie. and when she watched Tumbum, inmediatly focused on the P2. how. i mean, you cant see their faces yet. oh well-

okay guys insomnia is winning okay i promise i am also normal about just dance !!

[inky-escapism]

Jealously makes the heart.... beat faster?

“You’re spending too much time in the library, don’t you think?” Riftan looked at Maxi through the mirror as he combs her red hair.

“Well, I like reading books.” Maxi blushed from the attention. “And you know that..” she whispered, giving Riftan a soft smile.

The truth is, Maxi has been mumbling in her sleep, calling out a certain name he couldn’t work out and it’s bothering Riftan so much he couldn’t sleep.

For a few weeks now, Riftan’s insomnia has kept the knights enervated, especially Hebaron. Being the only knight who could kept up with Riftan, Hebaron, the sacrificial lamb, endured through the rough waves of drills till dusk. And it doesn’t help that the weather was getting warmer as summer months creep in. “Sir Nirta, come back here!” Uslin hissed, feeling frazzled with the sun shining harshly on his perfect face. Being the vice commander, Hebaron used to oversee the training of squires with Uslin before Riftan’s unease.

“Save me.” Hebaron mouths to Uslin, as Riftan drags Hebaron further away from Uslin’s group.

“Why, why? Why do I have to do this alone?” whingeing under his breath, Uslin repeats this same question for the umpteenth time. Tired and annoyed, Uslin looks up and shouts to the knight carving his own arrows. “Gabel, you come here then!”

“Noisy. Again.” Ruth comments, rolling his eyes as he hears Uslin calling out to Gabel on his trip to the library.

Back at the castle, Ruth was on his way for another lesson with Maxi. ‘Looks like I’ll have to conjure another shield to keep their nonsense out.’ Ruth sighs as he pushes the door open.  

“My lady, you’re early.” Ruth yawned, cracking his fingers.

Maxi jumped from his sudden comment and hugged the book tightly in her chest.

“Don’t bother, I know what you’re reading. No books of spells are in that colour” Ruth giggled.

 “It’s just too intriguing. Do you think the forgotten princess will eventually find out that her new guard was that hero from her childhood? Will she get together with Sir Herman in the end?’ Maxi squeals.

“Lesson 394, My STUDENT.” Ruth taps the blackboard with his chalk sternly as if to bring Maxi back to Anatol, knowing her soul was transported to the Land of Roses with Ser Herman and the maiden, rumoured to be the forgotten princess.

‘Yes, yes, Mage Ruth..’ opening her books while taking a sip of the tea Rudys left before leaving the library for her other chores.

Ending her lessons with tons of homework, Maxi dragged her spell books out of the library. Her small built made her had no choice but to leave her novels behind and come back to get them again after.

“Back from your book club activities with Ruth?” Riftan questioned in bemusement, not expecting his wife to be back this early.

“Where’s Rudys?” Riftan asked as he took over the pile of books from Maxi.

Panting, Maxi waves the questions away with her lady hands as she sat on the bed, trying to catch her breath. Taking a huge breath in, Maxi proceeds to leave for the library again to get her novels.

“Where are you going? Don’t tell me you’re going to the library again! Just how many books are Ruth trying to bury you under? I’ll have a talk with him.” Riftan said as he pulled Maxi’s arm back.

“No, it’s not that. It’s something else. I’ll be back soon!” Maxi chirps as she pecked Riftan goodbye.

“You’re not having dinner with us tonight?” Riftan questions behind Maxi, as she runs off with her puffy dress that can be seen bouncing in far end of the stairs now.

“I’ll see you at the dining hall!” Her little lady voice trailed off, as she hurried back to the library. “Rudys!” Maxi exclaimed. Glad that she caught Rudys in time, before she tidies up the library.

“My lady, please do not run along the corridors. You might fall and injure yourself.” Rudys warmly greeted Maxi with a worry.

Maxi blushed as she bashfully remembered her blue-blacks from her falling and knocking onto the walls whilst reading. It was good practice for her too, on her healing spells.

“My books, they’re not back on the shelves, are they?” Her wide eyes scanning the table.

“No, My Lady, they’re here. I was about to bring them back to your room after cleaning up Mage Ruth’s mess on the floor.” Rudys smiled tightly, her certain dislike for Ruth can been sensed.

Maxi let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you Rudys! That’s very sweet of you!” Maxi exclaimed as she hugged Rudys tightly.

“Let’s go for dinner now, Riftan is waiting!” Maxi collected her books from Rudys, laughing while chatting as they head to the dining hall.

Even at the door, the scent of hot gravy and roasted meat perfumed the air.

“My lady, would you like to join us?” Elliot asked, as he spot Maxi coming through the door. He was standing at his seat, splitting servings of the roasted boar for the table.

“Yes, Sir Elliot! It smells wonderful!” Maxi grins, happier than ever as she realized her stutter has improved dramatically. ‘Not an extra syllable, today!’ Maxi smirks to herself.

Moving their bottoms along, expecting Maxi to naturally take the seat beside their Lord Commander, Maxi saw the empty seat beside Hebaron and just took it. Unbeknownst to her, Riftan wasn’t too pleased with her decision.

‘She knows which pubs I go to.. I can’t just go to any pubs now. I hate drinking in the castle.’ Hebaron was brooding over his avoidance in the local pubs. ‘It’s so boring here… I want to go out there, and drink with the other lads.’ Tilting his head towards the window, Hebaron stares into the night sky whilst Gabel steals his cuts of meat.

A cold breeze sneaked in as swiftly as it went out, causing Maxi to shudder from its sudden visit. As she was directly in Hebaron’s line of sight, Hebaron thinks nothing of it, and took off his vest, putting it on Maxi. ‘Don’t get a cold, My Lady’. Hebaron adds as he got the squires to close off the windows before going back to his dwelling.

Across the table, a darken Riftan was seen stabbing his meat, giving it a second death. ‘Why is he looking at Maxi like that?.. Is it Hebaron?’ Riftan envisaged in his thoughts.

“Sir Hebaron, why are you not eating?” Maxi questioned as she joins Gabel in shrinking Hebaron’s mountain of meat. Jealous at this slight action, Riftan immediately plates more roasted boar for Maxi. ‘I’ll get more meat for you if you want, all you have to do is ask. Why are you getting it from him?’ Letting his jealously run his thoughts, Riftan narrows his eyes at Maxi and Hebaron, frowning so much that his eyebrows are almost touching.

“Start eating or there’ll be none left.” Uslin warns Hebaron as he hastily swats Gabel’s fork away. Getting the cue, Elliot sighs as he stands up again, cutting more meat to fill up Hebaron’s plate.

“I’m not hungry.” Hebaron states, shocking the whole table. “I’ll go to bed now.” Hebaron put his fork down and pushes his plate towards Maxi. “Here, you can have them, My Lady.” Hebaron smiles as he pats Maxi’s shoulder, gesturing her to eat up, before leaving the table.

“Is he alright?” Maxi asked, her eyes following Hebaron as he walked away.

‘Is he alright?! What about me? I’m not alright. Why do you keep looking at him instead?’ Riftan grumbled in his head.

“He’ll be fine, My Lady.” Uslin assured, waving a kitchen maid over. “Bring this and more ale to Sir Nirta’s room.” Uslin instructs her as he hands her a stacked pile of meat on a clean plate.

“Work wife indeed.” Ruth’s comment boosted a great deal of hilarity along the table. However, Gabel and Elliot shut their laughter immediately upon receiving Uslin’s side eye.

Maxi smiled at their interaction, as she continued to stuff her face with dinner, leaving nothing on her plate before she retreated to her room with Riftan.

“Carry me, I can’t walk. I’m too full..” Maxi whimpered, tugging on Riftan’s sleeves. Sighing in defeat, the jealous husband picked his wife up in his arms.

“Am I heavy?” Maxi asked, her fingers fidgeting with Riftan’s top.

“No.” Riftan replies cooly.

“Then why are you grimacing? Your face’s wrinkly.” Maxi pouts as she cautiously cups his face with her hands. Her touch softened his mood.

“It’s nothing.” Riftan kicks the bedroom door open and lays Maxi gently on the bed. Not letting go of Riftan’s top, Maxi used all of her energy to pull him closer for a kiss.

“Silly girl.” Riftan finally smiles as he ruffles her hair, joining her under the sheets. Maxi quickly fell asleep in his arms, with her tummy full of roasted boar.

Unable to sleep, much like the past few nights, Riftan started analysing his thoughts, running through the information as if to plan a combined attack on the field. Misusing his talents as a warfare strategist, Riftan connected the string of words Hebaron told him the other night, that how it was impossible for Hebaron to be with the innominate lady and how rumours will start flying like flies in the sky, with the name Maxi kept muttering in her sleep. Starting with a H, and seems to end with a N.

Piecing 2 wrong puzzle pieces together, Riftan jolts out of bed angrily, as he stormed towards Hebaron’s room with his tirade of nonsensical thoughts.

‘Hebaron, get up.’ Riftan whispered loudly as he fiddled with the doorknob.

Getting impatient, Riftan crushed the doorknob in anger and the door creaked open. Astounded by his own anger, Riftan strut into Hebaron’s room only to find it empty. Not even a soul behind his cloaks this time around.

‘He’s not here?’ Riftan sat on Hebaron’s bed, feeling bewildered with his paranoiac thoughts at the helm. ‘My wife and my best friend?’ Just then, a small shadow on the walls outside of Hebaron’s room caught his attention. “Maxi?” Riftan calls out.

The small shadow on the walls flickered, as Maxi quivered at the sound of his voice, not expecting to hear it at this corner of the castle. She carefully pushed the half-opened door, where the sound was from and was shocked to see Riftan standing in front of her. His hair was in a mess and his body, radiating an unusual amount of heat.

“Riftan, your heart. I can hear it from here. Are you okay? It sounds really fast. It’s beating much faster than usual... ” Maxi questioned with a concerning look in her eyes, her hand reaching out to his chest.

[author's note: have you guys realized that my stories are linked? ٩(⁎❛ᴗ❛⁎)۶]

[basketsys]

We're sick so I wrote a stand up comedy script about being a system called "Late night insomnia (and fever) driven system themed stand up comedy" or just "Dudes Inside Disorder"

[Sources from some jokes are in the bottom of the post, if you click any of the little numbers they will send you to the original Google document I used for writing]

Hello and welcome to this mess of a show, my legal name is unimportant since you are not the government to be concerned about it but you guys can call this sack of meat and bones “Basket” or “Basket System” if you want to quote on quote full name us. A little background about that name, it is supposed to be more like one of those baskets that you often find in farmer markets full of fruits and berries and stuff, but you can kinda also see it as a dirty laundry basket too because, to be fair, these clothes? They stink a bit now, you just can't smell from your chairs which is probably better for the sake of both of us.

You didn't need to know that but, oh well, I'm already over sharing tonight, what a little more to throw at the mix.

If you don't know what a system is, don't worry, I will explain, a system is a little silly thing the human brain does where it gives you silly guys to live with inside your brain alongside you. And if you're already thinking “I never met a system before nor heard about one ever” then it might be because of 1 out of 3 reasons: Either a. You must really live along with people without trauma or problems which, good for you, b. We only tell very close friends or partners about this kind of stuff so someone might not want to cause problems in the relationship or something along those lines, or c. Damn, you might be the problem. Like sincerely, you must be the reason why we don't talk about it so openly and only so secretly and we have to be like the LGBTQ community almost getting out of the closet and all that.

And honestly if you are the type of guy that heard about the people in your head stuff and immediately thought “Oh like that one movie, Shattered” then yes you are the problem so me and my other 50 friends are coming for you, except that when I mean my other 50 friends I really mean 1 body with 50 people in their frontal lobe.

Because really, get that movie out of the way, the people who did it are hated so much by thousands of people who actually suffer from this, including us. So let's clear up what a system really is like.

Being a system is more like living in a house with so many roommates you lost count and also almost never see and then one day you go to the fridge to get that one snack that you were saving for later, and then going to said fridge and not finding it and immediately screaming “WHO THE FUCK ATE MY SNACK?!” except you scream it internally and not out loud in front of your parents who are already disappointed in the fact that you either keep saying that you can't remember your childhood, which I'm sure they worked so fucking hard to give you a memorable one (/s, shaking head, dead stare), or the fact that you are a little too fruity for them and you don't want them to know so soon how mentally ill you actually are. And after that you just start planning murder and then suddenly and without any notice you just hear someone behind you saying “Calm down, it's fine, we can get it later, it's no worry” and you're just there mid planning going “When the fuck did you fucking appear? Like dude, at least make a little sound. Also this is my problem, it doesn't concern you.” and the guy just responds with “It does concern me because in fact you're planning on murdering my son. You're planning the murder of 6-year-old Timmy here over a snack.” and then you just don't know how to feel, either you feel like an asshole or you still keep going on with your plans because technically they can't put you in jail for beating the shit out of a child that resides inside your frontal lobe.

Yeah, just to be safe, never ask a system what crimes have been committed inside that brain, because in fact, it might be a lot. Some might even say arson and you'll be so glad that the fire 10-year-old Sarah did was in a safe space and not in a forest unlike a middle-aged singlet woman making a baby shower.

Oh, right yeah I haven't talked about how we call you guys, right. Systems refers to normal people as “singlets”, comes from the word “singular”. Yeah we have to pretend we are singlets a lot. Either it's school, a job, social media even, Thanksgiving, Christmas, for government papers like a birth certificate, imagine if the government creates a law for systems where we have to update the birth certificate everytime we get a new silly guy in the headband they just attach the list of names and date of splitting to the already 1 page long certificate using tape or staples, the list would be fucking endless and we would contribute a fucking lot to global warming. It's not like we even care about the headcount a lot, we also sometimes don't keep count of how many people are in this sack of bones and meat. Also it's hilarious when you start talking about introjects because you might as well be committing either illegal cloning or identity theft in the eyes of the government, so. Yeah better to not keep track of the infinite amounts of Wilbur Soot's in every system and how many each body has as well, they would end each shift like “How many Wilbur's did you count today?” “Today was a chill day, only 22. Like 5 different bodies, it was cool. One of them was trans I think.” like it's no longer ‘How much did they pay you this week?’ it's ‘How many times did you have to press ctrl+v this evening?’.

The government would be like “You wouldn't download a movie” or even “You wouldn't download a car”, well, guess what bitch, I fucking downloaded a car and his fucking name is Lighting McQueen.[1]

Honesty sometimes I feel like introjects are like Rule 34 even, if there's a character there's an introject, especially if there's a lot of attention on that media, oh boy. I'm just gonna say, the quantity of Marvel introjects I've seen, even worse than when DSMP was popularized. For you who are not zoomers, that's something off the internet which was basically a theater club to say the least, don't ask, you don't wanna know, you don't ask more questions about it nor say why did Dream actually needed to stay in jail forever because if you do you're gonna get doxxed. And it's not fun, look at us we change identity every random amount of time because of this exact same thing. Just kidding it is not because of that, it's because someone was mean to us at the ripe age of 8, so now we're fucked up mentally[2] (with an up-beat voice). Now, we're 15 fuckers in a trench coat with one goal, taking a nap, and also trying to figure out who ate the last of the fettuccine Alfredo. I'm looking at you, Alejandro. (looking at nothing) You could've just left a note. I won't be mad for eating my leftovers (nodding at audience while mouthing “Yes, I will” )

What's also fun about this (whisper: “it is not, not really”) is that, you don't only get DID, the “Dudes Inside” Disorder, you also get a fun little combo of other mental illnesses so you don't miss out on the offer, like a McDonald's promotion where you just pay $2 extra and get something else, the same here, you get a little bit more fucked up and you get a new guy and a mental disorder, like ADHD, autism, OCD, BPD, Bipolar, PTSD, anxiety, the whole DSM-5 diagnosis criteria. Like yeah they can come free with your new guy, even bundle up and the newbie could also be like “Oh my God, I wanna front and experience life like I have never been more alive” a then when they experience life and also with the several other disorders and even sometimes disabilities that the body can have they're just like “…I don't want to be here anymore, I wanna go home” and then there's the one alter who's been there for the last 5 years just looking from afar and saying “You must be new here, welcome to hell” like an old war veteran while they're just, what, 17?

And then you do the math and realize “Goddamn that 17-year-old was 12 when they appeared” and to that I say, and in complete honesty, the people that can appear can already come pre-traumatized like a pre-cooked meal that you just pop into the microwave. It's no longer “I can fix him” now it's “I will get him so he goes to therapy himself”.[3] I got that one off system Tumblr, it's fine the amnesia will make them forget they ever did that joke. Also, you're not even the one checking what's available in the alter market, the brain just looks and analyzes the world like a menu like “What do I need at this moment, a medium ugly half dead man? No, too fruity. Boy failure male wife wet cat? Too pathetic. An intergalactic teenager from another species, a completely different civilization with completely different culture, skin colour, inhumane features and an asshole personality? (Gasp) Yeah I'll get that. Excuse me, I'll get the Karkat Vantas, directly from Homestuck, don't do any of those fancy AU stuff, I'll get the original. Can I make that a combo? Yeah, give me the social anxiety, extra shake. Want this to get called a nervous system[4] instead of whatever name they made up for themselves, thanks”

Another thing that also changes a lot is how you consume content, either a song, a series, movie, you name it. You guys are just out there saying “I want to watch this movie” let's take Penguins of Madagascar as an example, and you just get through the movie, silly movie, funny even, you enjoyed it and then never think about it again until that one night you're scrolling Netflix, great. But as a system? Oh boy.

As a system, you have to pray to finish the movie sometimes. Either someone else wanted to see the movie too and can be a child or an adult so now either they kicked you or you're getting a friend to chat with during the movie, sometimes even babysit but everything cool, you finish the movie and mission accomplished, you survived.

Or also what can happen is a secret third thing which we all just sweat cold at night. If you get through the movie, amazing, you made it, now pray so Riko doesn't follow you home like a demon attached to you, don't matter which fucking God you have to pray to, even if it's the angel inside your brain you got from reading the fucking Bible back when you were on Sunday school or fucking Zeus, you just do. You're atheist? Not anymore, you need all celestial help you can get so he doesn't appear ever. You heard his voice? No you fucking didn't. Just keep walking. You don't wanna hear it from the host, or the system manager, asking when and how did we get an arsonist terrorist spy penguin that can puke bombs at will and also doesn't communicate very well. Anyways, just smile and wave…wait, NO.

One last thing I want to talk about is how diverse sometimes the alters in systems can get, they can be transgender, cisgender, human, non-human, straight up animals, demons, angels, a fucked up drawing you did when you were 12, anything. And also leaves the room for them to be part of the LGBTQ community and also form families and relationships in the same system.

For example, remember Timmy? The 7-year-old about to be murdered? And how this guy just said “That's my child?” yeah, we just, start saying shit like that, sometimes is because of the memories that they have before forming or it can be just because they saw a child and said “Yoink, now you're my son” like there's a 50/50. But a lot of systems consider each other family and that's actually very nice. Even internal dating happens, genuinely. Which yeah, it is already pretty fruity to have silly little guys inside you, now they're actually gay?[5] Damn, okay box of fruit loops, we get it, calm down. That's actually what one of our singlet friends told us when I explained my relationship with my fucking husband which lives with me in the same frontal lobe, and to be fair, he's right, if we actually bought each one of them their own pride flag we would be broke in no time, like. It was to pick a single struggle, not to grab a handful of them. It said it on the sign “Take one”.

Moving on, you know, hopefully I live long enough to see a system meeting expo-like event, I want to see the posting of the event saying something like "Thank you for coming to our meeting! We had a thousand attendees in this event" and then someone as an outsider just saw like 6 different bodies in front of a Starbucks.

Some references:

[1] Came with this one with a friend system

[2] Sysblr

[3] Sysblr

[4] Sysblr

[5] Close singlet friend