#innate superiority
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you know what I've been thinking about for the past few days is like. iroh atla, as a very flawed man and a link in the chain of generational trauma, because it recently occurred to me that. like.
like iroh is an incredible firebender right. but at no point in the show do we see him displaying the sheer power azula or ozai does, his mastery comes significantly more from his flexibility and creativity and willingness to learn from unconventional sources (most notably the dragons and waterbenders). and while its possible thats just a choice he makes because of the destructive nature of fire, i really don't think it is, i think he grew up having to find ways to supplement his training to keep up with his prodigy younger brother.
#i have more to say on the topic and probably Will#but its been rattling around in my mind for days#atla#text#atla text#another thought i keep having is that iirc iroh is the shortest adult man we even See in the show which#you know i never really questioned or took note of because it just kind of seemed like visual shorthand for Old#but the more i think about it and the emphasis the fn put on like innate superiority...
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In a life swap AU rather than just a role swap I think it would be sooo fucked up if Patroclus swapped with Theseus and Achilles with Asterius
#Loving a monstrous hero Slaying a beautiful monster etc etc .#The fact that Theseus felt such an innate connection to Asterius because of his physical entrapment and how that translates to the trappings#of his role . Not to mention how the greater public would handle a hero who looks like . well Asterius .#And then on Patroclus’s side of things I’d say his relationship to Achilles was actually really slow burn with him probably not getting it#at first . But from what I’ve heard he’s also softer than most other soldiers when it comes to murder . So I think while he wouldn’t have#the immediate ‘/oh/‘ moment Theseus is implied to have had I think he’d spent endless nights trapped in that labyrinth reliving that moment#and just . *thinking* about it . much like he did in game with his monologues about them .#I’m not sure about where that would leave us post game . Because Patroclus and Achilles probably die more or less the same way Asterius and#Theseus did . (Though I think Patroclus less . dramatically ? I think he’d grow despondent and a metaphorical ghost from his past would#finish him off . Since I imagine HADESGAME Theseus having a similarly anticlimactic and unglamorous death .) But sulking and then dying in#a rage just *so* isn’t Asterius . Maybe if Theseus and Achilles got swapped but I feel like thematically that’s just less interesting to me#? Trading one pretty insecure blonde boy for another . Maybe actually if Asterius was disrespected in a different way like something#relating to his monsterhood - I mean I’m sure he’s used to it but most people and certainly superiors would know better than to comment on#it when he’s literally in the midst of being the best soldier on the battlefield . And Theseus would be more morally righteous about their#reasoning for being in the war so while he’d stand up for Asterius he also couldn’t abide by what he found to be an amoral action .#There’s no way anyone would mistake him for Asterius though obviously so - oh my god wait JUST NOW realizing Achilles and Pat aren’t just#matching THEYRE WEARING THE *EXACT* SAME SET OF CLOTHING OKAY OKAY . So the whole armor thing isn’t gonna be a plot point . But the main#stuff would still be more or less the same . After Theseus dies I can imagine Asterius doing something stupid . Especially if he was already#like . pretty fucked in the head .#Okay I’m actually lowkey attached to this AU now .#post game plays out basically like a role swap AU I’d imagine . (Let Patchilles be together in the arena they deserve it <33)#Patroclus would be pathetic in a different way but he’d still make a decent heel because of his in game wittiness and original disdain#translating decently to the role . He would just be so so miserable when he loses though I think . And not even in a fun way .#Patroclus’s in game depression is nowhere near as fun as Theseus’s whining but . Unfortunately for him I love a melancholic king so I’m#keeping it .
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If you’re into enneagram and you’d like a bit more of a behavioral study on 9s, a good character study would be comparing the differences between Kazuha (9w1 sp/so) and Alhaitham (9w8 sp/sx). Both characters prefer not to have their peace of mind interrupted, but they deal with this in different ways.
#genshin impact#alhaitham#kaedehara kazuha#kazuha#enneagram#9w1#9w8#they are both definitely 9s#their motivations are the same#and yet the way they deal with this is different#being a w1 makes a person more controlled and principled#combine this with the 9’s innate desire to be at peace and you get someone that is very passive#very passive but also very good at maintaining their boundaries#surprisingly not as much of a pushover as you’d expect#probably has a very hidden superiority complex bc of the w1#on the opposite hand a w8 brings a very strong desire to protect oneself#1s internalize their anger and 8s externalization it#combine this with someone that holds their peace of mind tantamount is someone that has no qualms asserting their boundaries#they’ll fearlessly face tense situations if need be to be at peace in the long run#so how do 9w1s deal with having their peace of mind interrupted?#they don’t lol. they zone out and avoid unapologetically to the point they don’t even realize it#what about 9w8s?#they will often (rudely) assert their boundaries or try to (rudely) resolve issues so they’re not bothered anymore
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trans writers are just better at body horror because the trans experience innately sometimes feels like it’s just body horror.
#ooc. mikkelsen vc: this week on kat valentine's hannibal.#dysphoria mention /#[we’re just innately superior to cis writers trying to do it you can’t Get it if you don’t GET it ( the horror of being perceived in a way#that you do not want anyone else to perceive and preferable sometimes is the desire to remove your outer casing).]
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ppl will be explaining how a difference is a difference & not a Deviation from a Superior state, & people who are the ones considered Default Normal (superior) will be like "okay....to be polite....i Might say i consider Some aspects of Some people's existence mere 'difference' & not being less than me...." as like hey i'm a Benevolent god. i still actually get to consider you worse & don't have to "humor" anything that challenges my superiority. if you only want everything to fit into the norm then it will all come back to upholding the norm. thinking of people's analysis of their own realities as equally legimate as being like Obscure, Irrelevant, Superficial & then using that reasoning to justify dismissing them. same as worrying that the [Different Lessers (Others(tm))] as Everywhere = a manifestation of the awareness that, yeah, respecting them as equals Does threaten your norm which is smothering everything everywhere. ppl who need to lock in the idea of Borders around personhood like um Yes they're all delineated separate Identities outside any hierarchy & so i think it's relevant to for some reason push back against "ohh so now Everyone's queer" like why not. why couldn't they be. what if they were. what if queerness was everywhere b/c it's ideological not a cordoned off Alternative Identity that is accommodated by focusing on Love(tm) as the new border around whose existence we might begrudgingly accept at arm's length (i.e. being otherwise "normal"! just imagine swapping out the binary gender (or, deep breath, presumed Private Parts) of one partner in an exclusive romantic lifelong nuclear family marriage, & that is Gay / Trans Rights. still gross but maybe we can do it, as long as they don't talk about it or shove it in our faces or even exist for more than one encounter w/us in our lives b/c what are the odds). evergreen laughing at someone suggesting ableist logic might be embedded in language of past & present b/c it's just So little to ask for that it's irrelevant but it's also So much to ask for that of course i'm not gonna do anything more than pass it along like "this is why i don't take ableism seriously" like yeah it's the disabled randos like it's the individual cringe teens(tm) ruining [the cishets would take Gender seriously otherwise!!!] & that's why you won't think about it or do anything about it & continue being comfortable with the norm & resent that actually their Difference is Less & disability is something worse that ppl "excuse" & all these ways that people are & all these things that they do are funny & weird & inexplicable & etc & one can't possibly be cruising along perpetuating a hierarchy with a sense that you're reasonable, well meaning, kind, etc etc & thus Justified, systemic oppression definitely wants to maximize how uncomfortable & arduous it feels to everyone rather than push to make it more streamlined & rewarding to embrace, or at least accept, whatever superiority over others you're afforded
#circled around to lovelessness as a lens there. so long as one was loving. so long as one wasn't consciously malicious#really just mask off about keeping the same perspective of Superiority when conflating disability & ppl ''making excuses''#same as like e.g. that ppl consider everything an autistic person does as being Bad / Wrong / Worse. (this includes ''unskilled''!!!)#(crushing the Social Skills(tm) framework in talking abt allistic difference in my fist)#such that they think sm1 saying Autistic!! is then something they might be unfairly Beholden to to Put Up With their Wrongness#at special times in special scenarios....rather than like in some contexts you are no more ''right'' than the other party#different groups & cultures whose Norms Standards & Expectations could render You presumed rude thoughtless pushy etc#obvious overlaps to consider re: the Norms of like english speaking as ''universal'' someone noticeably speaking it as nth language?#time to Presume their ideas & contributions are Less. if they had the good brain like you their fluency would render their linguistic#Wrongness in having a diff 1st language invisible thus irrelevant. like the ''ideal'' for disability! as the ''ideal'' for anyone Passing#in any way! queer ppl surely all want to be as proximate to cishet ideals (just as cishet ppl should!) nonwhite ppl to Ideal White#women's rights = Proving they're As Good As men. ladies you're using too many exclamation points!! be Confident be Pushier!!#but ofc nobody actually wants the Others(tm) to be Equal. they're just saying ''it's your innate Wrongness that means you Aren't''#the ableism logic in everything. men just Are better at xyz. oh we Can abuse autists...into being as proximate to allistic as possible!!#just actually means ''oh we Can abuse autists.'' the ''correctness'' is your Difference ''intruding'' less into allistic existence#force you to be harmed & diminished all day then save your meltdowns for when you're alone & out of the way#ppl's tweets like ''when ppl say 'omg too sensitive ofc i wasn't talking abt disabled ppl!' like yeah no shit b/c you never think of#disabled ppl'' like yeah most people idk aren't making their life's agenda to stop everyone from saying Stupid#but like believe me people organically sense the Vintage R words when you get called Idiot in exactly the same spirit & purpose#i mean that's so rworded as in that's so gay!! cmon!! & it's fine if you don't say either to gay ppl or. or. [insert the office quote]#oh i don't call um 20th c disabled ppl morons it's bad taste!! but b/c i use it Figuratively in the present it's fine it's so Different#fr i can't remember like. an article w/1 matter of fact sentence from a doctor using a [now Just a childish insult!!] as Diagnostic Label#for someone's disability & it still registered like ice water in the face. presumably no ''especial'' Malice just matter of fact!#it wasn't ''idiot'' it may have been ''moron'' fr. the vintage ''factual'' r word is There plain as day#like yeah ofc the ableism gets channeled into alternate language. & then complaints abt that is like UGH CMON!!!#like idk shouldn't you be fine using the R word then too? not really sweating this issue thee most all thee time either but like#it's not sooo funny even if someone seems pressed extensively abt it. not that hard to in fact just not use all these words all the time#ppl will be throwing out their ableism w/o Any labels talking about how Weird Offputting Etc someone acts so you can Tell they're bad....#and yeah you should think abt that. anytime. the [difference used to categorize ''other'' is Just difference] Is Everywhere All The Time#the idea it can & should be ''contained'' for especial limited specific occasions (when you're feeling Nice!) = upholding the status quo
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So much of American exceptionalism has its origins in supercessionism.
#if you're gods main character you can basically do whatever you want forever no matter how it affects the world around you#your choices are always morally correct by nature of the fact you're Chosen and innately Good#nothing could possibly go wrong basing an entire society on a bigoted superiority complex! this is civilization!#bex talks to themself
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I've reblogged a couple memes with that "I believe in ____ supremacy" joke, but like, I don't trust like that in terms of people joking about being a ____ supremacist even if it's a dumb fandom thing. Like a few memes that can't be construed as being about race is one thing but putting (ship) supremacy in your bio or making your URL (character)supremacy has me like "damn you're real comfortable being thought of as a supremacist, aren't you?"
#like the word is just so connected to white supremacy#but also the idea of innate biological inferiority and superiority more generally#it gives me the ick is all
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AH i havent talked abt the frontierists here have i. very secretive sect of alamanni humans looking into Dreamed Realities (pocket realities born by dreams- the purposeful creation of them by eldritch deities Is possible but is also considered way blasphemous. near every dreamed reality by alamanni folk is born of essentially the most advanced form of maladaptive daydreaming possible and is unintentional. way hard to discern between them and real vivid Normal dreams). humanitys predecessors (taught the secret of intentionally dreaming up new lands by a select few eldritch beasties seeking refuge from the rest) sought refuge in a dreamed reality to get away from both the incessant typically deadly curiosity of the vast majority of eldritch deities and their incredibly shit living situation (forced into subterranean living bc of the whole corpse of the existence dragon and all of its curious parasites hanging up in the sky staring down at them, resources running low over the years with them unable to leave for more bc of the venettes- already sentient animals transformed into more human shapes by the eldritch in an attempt to get closer to that hidden race) and their shed mortal bodies upon successful exodus became the first humans so theyve got this tiny innate knack for intentional exploration that other alamanni folk dont. through the gathering of just abt every bit of still surviving texts on dreamed realities (WAY sparse, both thru the passage of time + the fact that those first eldritch deities desperate enough to part with such secrets were long killed by their more pious fellows), the frontierists understand the mechanics of it all Just enough to be able to deliberately enter and explore this 'final frontier' which they seek to put to page and Conquer
#^ the rare alamanni lore post . did not realize how much of a wall of text it was LOL#theyre colonialists treading through ppls dreamed realities born of maladaptive coping seeking to stake claim and find Purpose (ie--#--resources) in this new unclaimed frontier. there is also some stuff there w when humanitys predecessors ascended they permanently and--#--irrevocably jacked up Something in the function of dreamed realities. they can still be created and even traveled through but if the--#--frontierists follow in their footsteps theyre going to mess it up just a little bit more. the ouroboros managing to swallow--#--just a few centimeters more of its own tail. an imperfect cycle which WILL end just as the existence dragons death + rebirth will as well#they hang out in an ancient venette fort in the middle of a ploilan forest and have a small army of servants to attend to their every--#--need sleeping and waking. by keeping as much of their mind in the dream as possible even while awake they can still--#--maintain a VERY tenuous connection with the rest of their research party so the servants do as much as possible for them. bathe them--#--feed them carry them to and fro so on and so forth. the servants wear velvet slippers and communicate solely in sign to be as unobtrusive#--as possible. they fight over who gets to go out to the nearest town for supply runs even tho that entails dragging them back thru--#--THE most sketchy forest trail in existence#had to go on about some tangentially related stuff to really get into them. the main Thing that happens to them is that a sole--#--frontierist discovers the truth of thules deceit + mindlessness in one (thru glimpsing toyoshis dreams. though its a mindless--#--reptilian dragon it is an ANCIENT one and constantly dreams of thule + all that) AND the truth of their predecessors (idk how yet lol)--#--and is left with the knowledge that they were simply left behind. they serve no greater power in their attempted (intellectual) conquest-#--of the dream-ed frontier. they fulfill no greater role. they are alone and unattended (EXCEPT for the venettes. humans and them have--#--existed so closely intertwined since their very conception but this sense of superiority over their slight innate ability to travel the--#--dream-ed frontier caused them to reject that eternal companionship)#<-- thinking abt making it so there is no Real advantage that humanity has over venettes and that is an entirely unfounded belief--#--made to give the frontierists a sense of superiority + unity amongst only themselves. that works better w the themes#alamanni info#<-- NEW TAG. if im going to do this instead of type stuff out in docs i want to be able to find these posts again lol
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reading a post ranking dnd classes from most to least sexy and seeing them put wizard at the top and artificer at the bottom. like okay. we were put onto this earth to hunt each other down until only one of us remains, though.
#there IS a superior int class in terms of sex appeal. and it is not wizards.#magic is ONLY sexy if it is innate or a bastardized mad scientist ramshackle affair
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my thoughts aren't organized enough to put this in the tag or call it an essay proper by any stretch, but i haven't felt so deeply saddened or moved by a character in a while!!!
maybe it's the fact that i'll always have a soft spot for mutually self-destructive relationships in fiction where it won't work out even if both characters want it to.
i was just struck by how isolated ugetsu was and while that's not a justification for how he lashes out, i was heartbroken that his raw talent could elicit such strong feelings of envy from those around him including people that genuinely admired and loved him.
aki was always comparing himself to ugetsu and used it as a justification to not bother trying to reach greater heights even though ugetsu didn't want him to quit. i have no intention of demonizing aki for this, but it devastated me how this view of ugetsu alienated him.
that ugetsu's very existence was a detterent to aki's own passion for music. nearly every other relationship in given is one where both sides are inspired by the other instead of demotivated.
ugetsu for his part ofc could be vicious with his criticisms and i didn't miss how he often used his words to further tear down aki in a twisted attempt at self-sabotage. however, i think the way he treats mafuyu demonstrates that he is more than capable of giving people their accolades.
i can't imagine how frustrating it must be to want to pursue a passion for music knowing that the person you love feels lacking and uses you as a scapegoat. no wonder ugetsu felt as though he had to choose between love or music.
#tbd ???#// and like i'm struggling for words here that don't exonerate ugetsu's toxic behaviors#// it isn't his responsibility to hold himself back bc other people are intimdated by his talent#// i've never liked genius characters or stories about “exceptional others” who are leagues above everyone else#// sometimes talent is innate and sometimes hard work doesn't always pay off#// but you can't just give up bc someone is better than you#// ugetsu himself praised aki when they first met#// i truly don't think he believes he's superior to aki#// something something given using music to communicate when you're struggling for words#// aki giving up on violion was in its own way a breakdown of communication between them#tsu rambles abt given
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The house of grief fucking sucks lmao
#this is the first time I’ve gone into a fight and immediately knew I couldn’t handle it yet#not with viconia’s radiant redemption and there’s waaaaaaay more Sharran’s there than I thought#I’m playing a paladin I need to smite lol#I guess that frees up slots for fucking daylight since all they do is cast darkness on you#normally I take out the heavy hitters first so viconia but I think I’ll have to do crowd control#I have a plan that involves a lot of Misty step lmao#I’m not thrilled about it but it may be time to use gale#bg3#but!!! shadowheart standing up to the mother superior!!!#and I get the feeling based on the things they both said that Shadowheart was never a ‘good’ sharran#I’m pretty sure no matter what they did they just couldn’t completely take away the goodness she innately has
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drums
#is percussion the superior musical instrument family bc it satisfies the innate human desire to hit things? discuss#the ting tings were right when they said ''the drums the drums the drums the drums'' x5
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We are woman, and as women, we have holes. But more than that, we have a sort of mental and spiritual gap and incompleteness. We always feel some sort of emptiness deep inside. An emptiness that only goes away with the help of a man.
There’s a reason girls are always fantasizing about meeting our Prince Charming from a young age. There’s a reason we constantly talk with our friends about guys. There’s a reason we are stereotyped as being boy crazy. Because we need men, and we know it.
Men complete and fulfill us, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Dumb feminists may try to deny it, but deep down they know. We need men. They are superior to us. We can only be made whole through service to men. We are miserable without them. We have an innate drive to obey them.
Throughout history, throughout all societies, women have taken on a subservient role. We have taken on supporting roles wherein we aid the men, but don’t do the real work ourselves.
The desire to serve and obey men is natural in all of us. Denying this simple fact only leads to misery. Studies have shown women aren’t actually any happier in more gender equal countries. With the advancement of feminism, even more people, men and women, are depressed and miserable. We can help solve this issue. All we need to do is accept the truth, drop to our knees, and worship men. Our superiors. Our betters. Our gods.
#inferior to men#patriarchy kink#human fleshlight#women are stupid#male superiorty#mis0gyny kink#serve the patriarchy#men are superior#misogny kink#tradwife#trad wives#women are cunts
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tune in to you ──── 한태산



pairing: music composer! taesan x radio rj! reader genre: opposites attract (extroverted sunshine character reader and socially awkward taesan), pining, secret identity, slowburn, fluff, workplace romance (kind of?) synopsis: taesan went by his days quietly, producing and composing tracks for television shows and films in the comfort of his studio at his broadcasting company. but one day, when he tunes into the radio show you hosted a few floors above his own, the opportunity to call in as an anonymous listener presents itself to him, and his curiosity towards you, along with his want for something more in life, all bubble over into a decision which he’ll probably regret later. word count: 10.1 k warnings: mentions of food, kind of loser taesan, reader is mentioned to be shorter than taesan
With bated breath, the young girl hides behind the kitchen counter, hand pressed tightly against her lips, praying to whichever god who could help her in this dire moment of life and death. However, her prayers seem to be disrupted by the shuffling footsteps behind her, followed by what could only be described as maniacal laughter. Each second seemed to drag on as all she could do was curl up her small frame into the marble kitchen island, hoping that the man who’d been after her for hours would not notice her trembling body and futile attempts to silence her ragged breath.
‘Come out little lamb, let’s play!’
The voice, shrill and wicked, rings through the large kitchen. It’s like her heartbeat has turned into an unsteady tune of snares. As his footsteps grow louder and louder, it’s like an orchestra of sounds has made themselves home in her head, buzzing in her ears. First comes the percussion, slow and steady, setting the beat, followed by, in all their grandeur, the strings, building up the tension as the laughter seems to move eerily closer to the shivering girl. Finally joined by the brass and woodwind, the music keeps blaring around the two figures, or maybe it was the rush of blood in her ears causing her to imagine things. The music crescendos. And then. Silence.
‘Peekaboo, little lamb!’
As the drum set builds up in intensity, his deranged laughter is the last thing she hears before the knife twisted into her abdomen slowly takes away the last of her shallow breaths.
Heaving a sigh of satisfaction, Dongmin takes off his headphones to let them rest on his shoulders, leaning back into his swivel chair as he stretched out his arms after a long day’s work. The deadline for the third episode of the drama series was quickly approaching, so he saved his draft and sent it to his superior to examine before it slipped his mind again.
Heaving a deep breath, he let his eyes scan the small studio that had become a second home to him in the past few years.
Being a music production engineer had never been Dongmin’s dream. He’d always loved music and sound in general, sure, but when he meant being part of the music industry, he meant singing, writing his own songs, and most of all performing, and being able to convey his emotions to thousands in the form of heartbreak songs and serenades.
But when his Soundcloud musician dreams slowly came crashing down, he never expected to end up cooped up in a little studio, barely knowing when day turns to night, composing the backtracks to movies and television shows that graced the screens of thousands nationwide.
But that’s not to say that Dongmin hated his job though, despite his scepticism when his long-time mentor and advisor Jiho recommended the post as his junior at the broadcasting company. In the past few years, Taesan had developed an innate appreciation towards the sounds and music accompanying each scene of any show, movie or broadcast; setting the mood and portraying emotions far better than words could.
Sometimes, it almost felt akin to magic; the way music was able to transform one scene from an adorable romantic scene between two inseparable lovers to one of chilling fright and unspeakable terrors, or even intangible and unbearable sorrows. In his own way, the job made him fulfil his dreams of touching the hearts of thousands, though not quite the way he expected.
But in the sanctuary of his little studio, surrounded by instruments and production tools, he had to admit that sometimes when the brain fog got to him, and his fingers seemed trapped on a single key of his synth, unable to think of the next, the days seemed to stretch infinitely and felt unbearably mundane. But that never became a problem for too long as the few friends he had made in his time at KOZ Broadcasting Corporation always found a way to make his days better. Speaking of them, they should be crashing into the room right about…
‘HYUNG!! YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT I COVERED ON THE FIELD TODAY!’
As the journalism intern came tumbling into the room panting, catching his breath, Dongmin swivelled around in his chair, eyebrow perked up in mild curiosity at the younger who had already made himself home on the small sofa in the room, rambling about some poultry farmer who ended up accidentally releasing a hundred chickens into a highway, and about how he had to actively dodge a few to score an interview with the already frazzled man.
‘Oi Han Dongmin! I’m starving, can we please escape this cave of yours?’
Another booming voice that Dongmin had grown to recognise barged in, still in a smart suit after his evening news reading duties. Myung Jaehyun, an anchor, known and loved throughout the company for his never-depleting energy, sauntered in, kicking the journalist off the couch, causing a string of grumbles from the younger. As he watched the two go on with their usual antics, Dongmin shook his head with a sigh, although he couldn’t deny feeling grateful towards them for making his rather solitary way of life a bit more colourful.
After some more small talk about each of their days, filled with exchanges of complaints and stories, the three finally left the studio, making their way up to the top floor of the company, as they did every day, to join the queue of workers to get dinner at the cafeteria. As it was just another boring Wednesday, with most being too tired or too busy to go out for their meals, the cafeteria was packed, which left the boys hunting for a table after escaping the sluggishly long dinner queue.
As they finally found a table and cosied into their seats, another familiar face almost apologetically approached them with his own tray of food, asking if the extra seat at the table was vacant. Kim Donghyun, Dongmin had learnt with time; a camera operator at Jaehyun’s newsroom, and due to the crowded days at the cafeteria, a good acquaintance to the three seated at the table.
Basking in the bluster of the cafeteria and of the four similar-in-age friends munching away at their dinners, Dongmin allowed his mind to wander freely. His mind became preoccupied with the many deadlines that crept up on him; the ones for the new variety show didn’t seem to bother him much but the horror film set to release later that year seemed to be a bit more challenging. In the chaos of his thoughts he didn’t hear his name being called out the first time, and only with a snap of Jaehyun’s fingers did he float back into the present.
‘So Dongmin-ah, what’s going on with you? Your whole life still revolving around that studio, huh?’
The composer shrugged, not quite understanding why his friends seemed to have a problem with his rather quiet way of life. Sure, he never met anyone else other than his fellow production engineers and his few friends, and yeah, his studio was the only place he ever seemed to be at, but he never quite minded that. Not really. Or so he told himself.
‘Come on hyung, you got to get out and about more! Meet new people and stuff!’
The loud journalist exclaimed between rushed shovels of food down his throat. The quiet cameraman to his left nodded approvingly, ‘Maybe you should even meet someone new, spice things up a bit. How much longer will you cocoon your whole life into that studio?’
At Donghyun’s words, Dongmin looked up at him pointedly, only to be met by three pairs of curious yet teasing eyes. ‘Yeah Taesan, all these love songs and still no lover? That’s just sad.’ Jaehyun asks with a giggle, addressing him by his producer name.
Dongmin lets out a heavy sigh knowing that the three weren’t going to let go of this too easily. As they went on throwing tips at him on how to find someone he’d like and escape this ‘miserable life’ of his, he held on to that question;
How much longer would he live alone, in solitude, like this?
He wasn’t going to lie and say that the thought hadn’t caressed his mind before; the idea of being in a relationship, of not having to spend his days and nights alone save for the few minutes his tied-up friends would spare for him.
The days when the silence of the studio felt oddly hollow, and the pulsing cursor against his unfinished lyrics seemed to taunt him, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to the what-ifs. But his friends were right, with the way he lived, knowing nothing but the comfort of the four walls of his studio, nothing would ever change. And he was never the outgoing type anyways.
He let this thought engulf him, tuning out the rest of the conversation and chatter around him, even as they all bid farewell to each other before heading back to the usual hustle of their lives, even as he trudged his way back up to the all-too-familiar room, and back to his seat in front of his screens. He dropped his head down to his hands, spinning about slowly in his chair. His friends had always made fun of his almost soulless way of life, yet Dongmin never seemed to pay any heed. So what was so different now?
Maybe his head was just muddled. Yeah, that must be it. He just needed to clear it up.
Reaching his arm across his work desk, past the stack of messily arranged papers, Dongmin reached for the radio that his father had gifted him when he first got the job, though he never really got to use it with his packed schedule. As he mindlessly turned the knobs of the device, fluttering through the different frequencies, his eyebrows bunched in confusion as he was certain he was doing something wrong as the studio was filled with the constant screech of the static.
That was until he heard it.
As the static dampened, making way for a much clearer sound, his ears perked up. It was melodic, he thought, the way your voice cut through the air, enunciating each word with a contagious sort of energy yet calming enough to allow him to grasp onto the tether of your voice among the myriad of thoughts that raced in his head. Your voice seemed to silence the static in his brain.
You weren’t a stranger to him though; being in the same company as him, hosting the late-night radio show a few floors above his own. Dongmin had often seen you clock into work just as he’d step out of his studio, surrounded by your colleagues, a radiant sort of joy engulfing your being, and everything and everyone you fluttered by.
It always felt ironic to him; how you were a late-night show host. For to Dongmin, you were like the Sun itself, basking everything in your light that felt akin to the rays of morning sunlight. It intrigued him more than anything else: how you always seemed to have a bubbliness to you that never ran out. How your lips always seemed to be curled up in a smile that could pull the world out of the darkest of times. How sometimes he was the one who felt exhausted just watching you bounce about the company walls, greeting every face you met on your way to the radio station with an almost infectious sort of felicity.
But that’s all he’d ever done. Watching you. For you confused him, maybe even scared him. For if you were the Sun, he was the Moon, with no light to give out of his own. He could count his friends with one hand, and there you were, chattering away with anyone and everyone you met, as if you’d known them your whole life.
But it would be a lie to say that your starkly different ways of life hadn’t piqued Dongmin’s interest just a tiny bit, but he knew all he’d ever do was silently admire your zeal from the sidelines.
You were the Sun after all, and the universe revolved around you, and he was only the moon, to watch you in all your brilliance.
As you concluded the final song in your setlist, lulling Dongmin out of the slight daze he had fallen into, voice still laced with the same radiance he had grown to look forward to, you introduced the start of the next section of your programme, ‘Tune In To You’ a section where listeners could call in to talk about their worries or ask questions to the RJ. Reciting the number of your radio station, you urged your listeners to call in, with your ever-so-compelling voice.
Almost too compelling.
Before he could think otherwise, his fingers reached into his pocket, fishing out his phone and dialling in the numbers you melodically repeated. As his fingers hovered over the blaring green call button, he hesitated. What was he doing right now? But almost as if he were in a trance, he shook off the voices in his head screaming at him to stop and went for it. He started the call. Well… it’s not like you’d actually pick up anywa-
‘Hello! This is Midnight Talkies! Thanks for calling in, could I please have your name, dear listener?’
Oh God.
As your voice echoed throughout the room, Dongmin froze. He didn’t think you’d pick up. And now he had no clue on what to do. As he began to aggressively curse himself in his head, your voice rang through the air again, laced with a twinge of concern this time.
‘Um Sir? Madam? Could you please introduce yourself for us?’
Taesan snapped back to the issue at hand, and before his head could process his actions, his lips began moving. ‘You can call me uh… Giant Mountain’
OH GOD.
Behind the mic at the radio station, you stifled a giggle as the name caught you off guard, looking up at the sound technicians on the other side of the recording booth who also seemed to have a difficult time remaining stoic at the weird name.
‘Right… Mr Mountain’ you say as Dongmin can feel himself cringe as he hears the name out of your lips this time, making him realise all the more how stupid using the nickname was.
‘So what do you have for us? Any questions or confessions for us today?’
Taesan stills. He has no idea what to say. Everything he’s done in the past few minutes was completely on a whim and now he’s bearing the consequences of it all. Yet, even in this moment of chaos, your voice grounds him. And the first thing he can think of flits by his lips.
‘Uh… That song you just played? Wonderwall? I really like it.’ He says, almost dumbly.
As he braces himself for your obvious confusion and judgement for his out-of-the-blue statement, you do it again.
You manage to surprise him yet again.
‘Oh my god! You like Oasis? I love them too! I adore the chill vibe they have with their classics, I had even personally asked for this song to be in tonight’s setlist!’
Dongmin blinks in astonishment. He did not expect you to agree with him, let alone like the band he had spent years obsessing over. Having endured hours of bullying from both Woonhak and Jaehyun for his mild obsession with the English band, he couldn’t stop his heart from somersaulting at your agreement.
And before he could stop it, the music nerd in him took over, talking about the intricacies of the baseline and how the emotional tone of the lead singer’s voice made people feel calm yet still held that rich depth of rock music, you subtle hums of agreement only urging him to go on.
As he rambled on, behind the mic, you couldn’t help but be intrigued at the passion of the man on the other end of the line. He certainly sounded like he knew what he was saying and the way his voice resonated with excitement over being able to talk about something he’s so passionate about was endearing. This Giant Mountain guy, whoever he was, was kind of… adorable. And you couldn’t help but let out a giggle at that thought.
Dongmin paused. As he heard your soft laughs from across the line, it was like his heart stilled. If he could bottle up that sound and get drunk off of it every day, he knew he’d be a goner in no time.
And before he knew it, the two of you were animatedly discussing your favourite bands and as he hears you talk about your favourite Radiohead album, Dongmin thinks you couldn’t be more perfect than he already thought you were. But as the allocated time for your call comes to an end, with your exuberant voice, you wish him good night, moving on to the final ment before you sign off and pass it on to the next host.
As the call ends, and the silence fills his studio again, Dongmin can’t help but miss the sound of your voice bouncing around the walls. The silence feels heavier than usual as his actions finally sink in and it all hits him at once; embarrassment, shock and even… elation?
Though this might have been the dumbest thing he’s done in years, Dongmin knows one thing for sure, this won’t be the last time he calls in to you. If he’d get to hear your voice once more and talk to you the way he did tonight, just once more, maybe the embarrassment of being known as Giant Mountain didn’t matter all that much anymore.
Back at the radio station as you stepped out of the recording booth, you were met with the teasing smiles and laughs of your colleagues as the last call of the night had everyone intrigued. Despite your usually bubbly personality, it was rare for you to be so into a conversation the way you had been with… Mountain man. And your colleagues also seemed to catch on. Yet as you brushed away all their remarks with a sing-songy goodbye, you couldn’t stop the small smile playing on your face as you thought of the nervous yet interesting persona you had met today. Even if it was only just a voice.
Dongmin was sure the universe had a personal vendetta against him.
Only a day had gone by since that fateful night of questionable decisions that he could not take back. Not that he regretted it all that much, honestly. With the way he moved with a slight perk in his steps or how even the broken coffee machine in the break room couldn’t dampen his exuberance, it was safe to say that his little late-night talk with you had made the usually indifferent man giddy with joy.
Nothing could take him down from this high horse.
Or he thought.
‘So I’m sure you’ve heard of our company’s radio show Midnight Talkies? They’re renewing for a new season in a few months so we’ve been tasked with creating a new jingle for them: something catchy but still bringing in the chill late-night atmosphere. And since Sungho and Minji both have three other projects to work on, I’m sure you’ll be fine with this? It’s not anything too difficult anyway’
As he slowly trudged out of Jiho’s office. He wished for nothing more than the ground beneath him to open into a gaping hole and swallow him whole. He usually loved working for something commercial like jingles and such, but with last night’s events, which at the thought of still left the back of his neck flaming with slight embarrassment, your show was probably the last thing he wanted to work on.
And things didn’t get any better when your superior suggested having you, the host, come over to review some ideas on how to make a catchy tune that would convey your show’s essence.
Too soon.
But you wouldn’t catch on, would you? After all, he was just another voice you met on your show. Even though it was everything to him, he knew that the short interaction between the two of you was entirely trivial to you.
As you walked your way down to the sound department’s floor, a few flights of stairs down from your own, your eyes scanned the open area as large pieces of equipment were scattered around, making way for a hallway of rooms with their doors shut tight, barely any indication of life within them.
Those had to be the studios.
As you walked past each door, hoping to somehow miraculously end up in front of the right one, your steps came to a halt at the door in the far corner, adorned with a wooden sign.
TS.
This had to be the one right?
Hesitantly, you brought your knuckles up to the door. One knock. And… nothing.
Once again your hand meet the door, three knocks, this time. Still, only silence greets you.
Maybe he wasn’t in.
Just as you were about to turn on your heels and leave, you hear the lock click open, and soft amber light seeps through the crack, only obscured by the shadow of a rather tall man with messy tousled hair sitting haphazardly over his forehead.
‘Come in.’
As you bashfully walk into the small studio, your eyes scan your surroundings with gnawing curiosity, trying not to meet the intense stare of the much taller man in front of you. Along with many sound equipment you wouldn’t even try to name, were instruments arranged neatly against the wall, a few guitars, a keyboard, and some percussion for his more intense work. As your eyes trailed up to the walls littered with band posters and album covers, a true testament to the owner’s passion for music, your eyes couldn’t help but catch a rather familiar sight.
‘Ooh (What’s the story) Morning Glory? I love that album!’
At your mention of the Oasis album, Dongmin’s eyes which were deliberately watching your every move shot up to meet your own, widening slightly. As your eyes locked with his, almost as if you were trying to extract his deepest darkest secrets, he knew it was all over. You’d figured his rather dumb secret out and you probably thought he was the biggest weirdo known to mankind.
But instead, he was only met with a quiet laugh from you, almost contemplative. ‘You know I could have sworn Oasis wasn’t that popular here, but lately, I keep hearing about them. I’m not complaining though, they need more recognition’
With a smile on your face, you settle down on the sofa, coercing him to take a seat too. Dongmin lets his gaze follow you once again, as you bounce one knee up and down, waiting for him to break the silence that was slowly clouding over the cramped room. He heaved a sigh, mainly of relief as he settled back down into his chair. He needed to get a hold of himself if he wanted any chance of his secret still only being his to keep.
‘Okay, so what kind of vibe do we want to go for?’
You’d been in his studio for hours already. Or maybe only minutes had passed. Dongmin could not tell.
As he played you one sample after another of jingles and random sets of beats for you to gauge what met your fancy, you’d constantly quip up with what you liked and what you didn’t about each one, which helped Dongmin narrow stuff out. He admired the way you clearly knew what you wanted, despite your lack of knowledge about the technicalities of it all. He liked that about you.
Sometimes you’d laugh at a funny tune or even pop a joke or two which eased the initial tense silence between you two into something much more comfortable. Even Dongmin, who was infamous for his reservedness, couldn’t help but join in with small remarks and soft giggles here and there, as your energy and good spirits almost felt like it was infectious.
Yet, as you had been the object of his keen watchfulness for years, after having grown used to eyeing you from afar for all this while, having you seated less than an arm’s length away from him, actively conversing and interacting with him was rather unnerving. Every time you’d casually compliment him for a well-made tune or jingle he’d feel his heart clench just a bit, warmth blooming within its walls, spreading to every part of his being, even if he tried to curb it.
But despite the rush of his nerves and the tingliness about his fingertips as they moved around the mixboard, as your gaze seemed to burn into his back while his own was glued onto his work, he had grown fond of the serene air that hung between the two of you, almost as if this was how it was always supposed to be.
Until a small buzz chirped from your phone, breaking the tranquil, and with it indicating that it was time for you to leave. Dongmin was probably imagining it, but he could have sworn that you looked like you hated to leave the cosy studio just as much as he wanted you to stay. Trying not to let his despondency be too obvious, he wished you a quiet goodbye, wishing you luck with the night’s radio broadcast.
But your next words seemed to raise his spirits a bit, ‘It was so fun working with you today Taesan, you wouldn’t be free the same time tomorrow, would you? I’ll research some lyrics to add in with the catchphrase so that it sounds good too!’
Agreeing with a bit too much enthusiasm, Dongmin watched as a soft smile graced your face, as you waved him goodbye, closing the door to his studio gently. Before he could stop it, a similar smile mirrored on his face, as his eyes stayed fixed on the same spot that you, with all your radiance, had just left. That was until a familiar news anchor came crashing in through the same door, quick enough to notice the unfamiliar expression on his dear friend’s face.
‘Please, you should have seen that derpy grin on his face, I’m telling you, Hak, he so loves her!’
As the two friends, who he usually loved to death, giggled teasingly as Jaehyun continued to exaggerate what happened after you had left the studio, Dongmin sighed exasperatedly as they seemed to pay no heed to his convincing that it was nothing more than him finding you an interesting person to be around.
But despite all their teasing over his supposed fat crush on you, he almost found himself agreeing to their words as the thought of you and your time in his studio only made his heart flutter, your voice plaguing every corner of his brain like a record player that simply couldn’t be silenced. And he wanted to hear it one more time that night.
He knew it was a risky game, yet he didn’t seem to mind anymore as a faux sense of confidence surged through him. After hurriedly wishing his confused friends goodbye, he found himself rushing back into the studio, back into the certain comfort of the four walls he could call his own, once again accompanied by the radio, this time with the knobs tuned perfectly so that the moment Dongmin’s fingers flicked it on, the studio was once again filled with the warm crackle of your voice.
You were still putting on some familiar hits which soothed Dongmin’s slowly creeping nerves as he laid his head on his crossed arms, allowing himself to unwind after the eventful day. As the final song by The Carpenters came to a slow stop, you announced, once again in that same voice that hadn’t lost its vigour throughout the day, the start of the daily programme that Dongmin had been waiting for all day.
Almost like clockwork, he found himself dialling in the numbers, and waiting as the phone rang, this time much more hopeful to hear your voice on the other side.
‘Hello! This is Midnight Talkies! You’re live listener! Would you mind introducing yourself for us?’
Despite his nerves, a small smile dangled on Dongmin’s face at the sound of your voice, a surge of boldness filling him along with it.
‘Hello lovely, remember me from yesterday?’
As the smooth voice played through your earphones, your eyes widened in surprise, not having expected to hear the same voice that had been the object of your curiosity the past night, to call so soon.
‘Of course, Mr Giant Mountain, how ever could I have forgotten about you? So tell me, anything on your playlist that you’re dying to hear on here?’
‘Well, could you play And I Love Her by The Beatles? The song has been stuck in my mind all day, and I figured that I had to share it with my favourite RJ’
‘Oh I must say I’m flattered, Mr Mountain’, you say with a light laugh.
‘Is there any reason this song’s stuck in your head or do you just happen to be a hopeless romantic with good taste?’
‘Ha, I guess a mix of both? I think it has to do with its mood, you know? The soft guitar with the gentle vocals is just so melancholic, you know? It just makes sense, just like talking to you, Miss RJ’
Your eyes once again flashed upwards towards your coworkers standing outside the booth, stifling their giggles at the bold man on the other side of the phone. With a slight rouge painting your cheeks, you reply, ‘Mr Mountain, you certainly seem to be one for compliments, hm? So do tell, what do you find yourself doing when you’re not listening to me ramble or play music on the radio?
‘Hmm, mostly thinking about how to sound as cool as you do on air? Spoiler alert: It’s going abysmally.’
This time you were certain that the blush on your face had undoubtedly darkened as you respond with a slight laugh. ‘Well, I’d say it’s going pretty well Mr Mountain, you’ve got that whole “mysterious caller” thing going for you, it’s kinda cool’
‘Mysterious, huh? I’ll take it, especially if you think it’s cool, pretty. But don’t get too curious, Ms RJ, I met just lose all reins and ruin the facade’
‘Oh, now you’ve got me on my toes. Well, how about this, next time you call back, you tell me a little something about yourself, Deal?’
‘Hmm, deal, but only if you’d play something by The Smiths next time, we got to keep this retro romance theme going, no?’ Dongmin says, intrigued by your curiosity towards uncovering his little persona.
‘Ooh, we’re doing themes now, huh? Alright then, Mr Mountain, just for you, And I Love Her is up next, thanks for calling in – and don’t be a stranger, yeah?’
With a lingering smile, ‘Wouldn’t dream of it, talk soon and goodnight Miss RJ’
Dongmin had fallen into a comfortable rhythm the following few weeks. Despite both of your busy schedules, your face at his door was something that had become quite frequent in his days, the two of you making significant progress in moulding the short jingle to be exactly what you had envisioned for your show. Dongmin had started to look forward to your visits, as his initial awkwardness around you had melted away into something much softer, your presence, a gentle light in his dull life.
Sometimes the two of you would even bump into each other outside the dingy studio, sometimes in the cafe near the company, where Dongmin had graciously bought you a cup of coffee despite your reluctance, that you gratefully sipped on as the two of you busked in the comfortable silence that had been a staple during your times together.
Another was when Dongmin had been waiting quietly by the elevator, his figure lost among the many others waiting, some tapping their feet in impatience, others caught up in their conversations, as he simply observed his surroundings, an earphone bud dangling from one ear.
That was when a bright voice shot from across the concierge, one that he recognised far too well.
‘Taesan!!’
Your bubbly figure bounded up to him as you waved hello at the quiet man clad in all-black, whose eyebrows had perked up in surprise. Yet, as he finally got over your genial greeting, a smile graced his face as he politely greeted you back, the two of you falling into small talk, the people around you all melting away as a soft bubble seemed to envelop the two ever-so-different souls, as you were sucked into a world of your own.
In your absence, it was almost as if Dongmin had begun waiting for you to pop out behind some wall or door; hoping to run into you some way or the other. But he never had to wait too long as every night, his calls with you had become part of his routine, and you too couldn’t deny that it was something that you had looked forward to.
Every night, your mystery man would call in, making you perk up in unconcealable excitement as you fall into your usual conversation, sometimes about music or sometimes about your days, where he’d reveal certain bits and pieces about himself that never were too specific to give out his identity but made you feel like you had started to get to know him more. And along with the bubbling curiosity about your frequent caller, you also would be surprised by the man’s blatant flirting with you.
It started small, but with time, it slowly built up into less-subtle compliments and double entendres that had you, the ever-professional RJ melting into a mess, a constant blush decorating you as you went on about your daily calls with this mystery man who you had grown unbearably inquisitive about.
Your colleagues at the radio station had also caught onto your flustered behaviour with this one specific listener and you had become the victim of their relentless teasing. But despite furiously refusing all their joking remarks, you couldn’t help but feel a warmth bloom in your chest every time your mystery man became the topic of your conversations.
However, it wasn’t just your coworkers who had become fans of your undeniable chemistry with the voice you looked forward to every night. Many listeners of your radio had also written into the station, flooding in messages about the two of you.
With you growing bolder with your Mr Mountain, often you play into the flirtatious tension you have with the man, requesting one of your favourite love songs by the Cure, dedicating it to a special someone,
‘This one’s for the voice that keeps me company here even on the darkest of nights’
Needless to say, this puts your listeners in a frenzy, blowing up the station’s social media page with questions and comments about the two of your will-they-won’t-they type of chemistry.
And despite considering the whole interaction as an entertaining and elaborate joke, you couldn’t help but boil over in desperation to find out who this enigma was, subtly trying to pry for details every call, but despite his laidback persona, Giant Mountain was ever-so evasive, preferring to keep the mystery and curiosity alive.
Some days, you’d clock into work to be pleasantly surprised by little gifts sent by the same mystery man. Once it was a vinyl record of your favourite album, and another day it was your favourite coffee order, that you simply couldn’t wrap your head around how he had figured out. But everything was always signed by a short but sweet note:
‘With Love, G.Mountain’
One thing was for sure, you were going to figure out who this man, who seemed to know a lot more about you than you did him, was. You tried to tell yourself that it was just your natural curiosity taking over, but you knew that the real reason was something else. Something else, given the circumstances, felt a lot harder to justify.
Dongmin was certain that you would never figure him out.
It had been just over two months since you had started working with him on the programme’s jingle, and today would mark the final session for touch-ups. The two of you had grown a lot closer during this short time, spilling little bits and pieces about yourselves during the conversations that flowed like water between you. Yet, despite all the redundancies between him and his vocal persona, you never seemed to catch on to him.
However, he could not help but be grateful for your obliviousness. His strongly built walls had started to crumble slowly in your presence, and Dongmin himself discovered a side to him that he did not know existed—a much brighter and talkative version, one only you seemed to bring out on air.
He couldn’t understand where the sudden boldness he found himself exuding came from, but he didn’t hate it; it felt like having two personas he could alternate between when it came to you. But now that your time together working on the jingle would be coming to an end, he could not stop the sinking feeling from settling down into his heart at the thought of not being able to see you as often as he did now.
Dongmin’s friends had also noticed his peculiar affection towards you and the way that he seemed to melt in your presence or bashfully talk about his time working with you in the studio. They’d begun teasing and throwing jokes about his ‘loverboy era’, but mainly, urging him to make a move before the chance got away.
But it all seemed too difficult for Dongmin. As ‘Giant Mountain’, he was simply a voice, a persona with no face or human responsibilities, and the flirtatious personality came with no repercussions. Yet as Taesan, a well-renowned producer and someone you would keep seeing around in your time at the company, making a move felt far more burdensome.
As the afternoon sun just started to subside, a much calmer warmth being cast over the city, Dongmin heard the three familiar knocks that had his heart stutter for a beat, and his ears perked up like an excited puppy. As he craned his head back, your figure met him, your face lit up in a shy yet gleeful smile as you waved hello, making your way to your designated spot on the couch.
‘So I took the little notes you had into consideration, and I have what I think is the final version of the intro… You ready to hear it?’
Dongmin asked, a curious smirk curling up the corners of his mouth. Your eyes sparkled in excitement as you quickly nodded. Taesan scrolled to the play button on his screen and clicked it. Then, he leaned back in his chair, slightly swivelling around so that he was angled towards you.
As the light melody started to pour through the speakers, filling every corner, the upbeat yet chill tune had you nodding along to every beat as you absentmindedly closed your eyes, vibing along to the music.
Unbeknownst to you, a pair of eyes were observing every movement of yours, analysing how you reacted to the piece he had spent hours trying to compose and perfect. And seeing you completely immersed in it, enjoying every second was the only reward Dongmin could have asked for.
As the jingle wrapped up with a whisper of the station name, your eyes fluttered towards Dongmin’s expectant ones, as he patiently waited for your final verdict.
‘Taesan… It’s perfect, it’s everything I wanted!’
You exclaimed, your eyes crinkling into a smile, as Dongmin’s face mirrored the same expression as yours, as relief and joy washed over him at your approval.
‘Well, I’m going to send this over to my head, and well…this is it then, huh?’ He asks as a much more solemn mood settling into the studio.
As the realisation that you wouldn’t be seeing the quiet producer around as much, sunk in, something shifted in you. Despite his composed and oftentimes cold exterior, you had grown quite fond of Taesan, with the way he’d joke around or tease you for your obliviousness when it came to music, or the way he’d listen with utmost attentiveness when you’d wind up rambling about one thing or the other, and even chirp in with remarks or soft giggles.
It felt like you had access to a softer side of the talented producer that not many others had the opportunity to witness. And you liked that. And you couldn’t help but feel sorry that the short time you had with Taesan had already come to an end.
As the two of you worked with packed schedules, you could only promise to treat the composer to a meal since you had to leave to prepare for your show with the programme’s producer. However, before you departed, you fished out a packet of Ferrero Rocher from your bag—your favourite, as you mentioned while handing it to the stunned man—as you hurried out of the studio that you were certain you would miss.
Wrapping up the script overview, you walked into your recording studio, putting on the snug pair of earphones as you waited for everything to be set and rolling. As the large ‘ON AIR’ sign blared a bright red, you fell into a comfortable pace that you did every night, expertly greeting your dedicated listeners with the lively voice that many around the country had grown to love and adore.
Soon, you’d reached the segment that you had admittedly been anticipating the most, as you often found yourself doing these late nights, and as the sound of someone joining the broadcast played, you sat up straighter, only for the silky smooth voice on the other end to be one you recognised immediately.
As you finished up the initial greetings that the both of you had gotten used to, Giant Mountain started the conversation with the usual sort of flirtations that had your eyes rolling in mock disbelief but always left a smile lingering.
‘Hey Miss RJ, I must say I’ve missed your voice’, he starts with a playful tone.
‘Mr Mountain, my favourite caller, I was wondering if you’d remember to call in today, but you never fail to do so, hm? So tell me, what’s on your mind today?’
‘Woah, forget about you? How ever could I do that? Your voice is practically the soundtrack to my nights, I’d say it’s hauntingly good, but I wouldn’t want to scare you away now, would I?’
‘Hauntingly good, huh? I’ll take that as a compliment… But do say, if I’m the soundtrack, does that make you the lead vocalist or the backing vocals to accompany my melody?’
‘Hmm, maybe I’m the fan who admires from afar, knowing every lyric by heart? Oh! Talking about the heart, I fear I have a question for you, Miss RJ’
‘Uh-oh, that sounds serious. What’s up, Giant Mountain?’
‘Not serious, just… thoughtful. Valentine’s Day is coming up real soon, and I was wondering what our lovely RJ has planned for the special day’
You raise an eyebrow at the sudden question. Valentine’s was a day you never had much to look forward to as you had spent much of your youth trying to get somewhere as an individual, and despite your incredibly outgoing nature, you never quite found someone to spend the cheesy, yet romantic day with.
‘Hmm… Nothing much, Mr Mountain, having my wonderful listeners by my side along with some sweet music is more than enough company for the day’
‘Well, that sounds nice… But what about something to spice it up, maybe you’d like a surprise?’
As you often found yourself doing during these calls with your Mr Mountain, you glanced at the staff working at the controls, exchanging a surprised expression for their amused ones.
‘A surprise? I don’t think I caught on to what you mean… How will you surprise me while on call, Mr Mountain? I mean we haven’t ever met and I can’t imagine a surprise in any other way?’
‘Getting curious now, aren’t we Miss RJ, well, don’t worry too much about it. And while we’re on the topic of surprises, you wouldn’t mind playing “No Surprises” by Radiohead in today’s setlist now, would you? And for a clue of sorts, let’s just say… I’m a lot closer than you think I might be, so maybe you really shouldn’t be too surprised.’
‘Well, it’s hard not to be curious with you, Mr Mountain, you’re the only one who keeps me on my toes, and I really don’t know what I’ll do with that last cryptic part, Mr Mountain, I fear it’ll keep me up for nights. But while I immerse in that thought, here’s ‘No Surprises’ by Radiohead, and I hope to hear from you soon, Mr Mountain.’
You weren’t entirely wrong about his words keeping you up for nights.
From his words, it felt like Giant Mountain was hinting at you knowing him, in real life. The more you thought about it, you couldn’t help but feel something familiar about the husky voice which accompanied you for so many nights.
In the way he talked, and the way he let out breathy laughs at a joke, or even the steadiness that wound about every word he uttered, there was something about the man that you recognised but could not pinpoint what.
As the days to Valentine’s Day ticked by quickly, you grew more inquisitive about Giant Mountain’s words and well, the man himself
But with the way the man evaded each one with his usual laid-back nonchalance, you found yourself being driven to the edge of your patience and curiosity.
Soon, the day you had surprisingly found yourself waiting for had finally arrived: The day to celebrate love.
Though you were put on edge the entire day, a part of you was slightly hopeful that the mystery man who you admittedly had grown a soft spot for would do something like he’d said he would, although you knew that it was greatly unlikely and just something he ended up saying in the spur of the moment.
And you were proven right, as the day went about just as it always did; with you clocking into work and being greeted with the day’s work, today being a bit heavier than the rest due to the special occasion. As you let yourself be consumed by your work, Giant Mountain and his words were soon pushed to the back of your mind, their blaring presence in your head being replaced by more pressing matters.
Soon, night had fallen and it had already become time for your daily show to begin. Despite the usual cheerful and lighthearted greetings you exchanged with everyone at the station, you couldn’t help but feel a certain heaviness loom in your heart. Although you knew it was stupid, you had ended up being hopeful, looking forward to a stranger’s words despite never having met them, or knowing anything about them at all.
It made you think, did you end up attached to the man behind the ridiculous pseudonym?
With his often shy demeanour, that would be quickly contradicted by his smooth words that had your heart fluttering, leaving you flushed despite your poor attempt at trying to resist it, did you really end up wanting more from this unlikely relationship with… what you only knew as a voice?
You knew it was a dangerous path to thread, and honestly an unlikely one too. The chances you’ll ever get to know more about this Giant Mountain man were not too high, and the more you thought about it, you were probably just a medium to keep him entertained; his flirtatious attitude just a fleeting game, a way to pass the time in the vast, lonely expanse of the night.
As you finished your final preparations before going on air, you couldn’t stop the thought from blaring about your head: Did he ever, even once, care about you in the way you had inevitably found yourself caring about him?
You couldn’t allow yourself to dwell on this thought for too long as the ‘ON AIR’ lights flickered a blaring red, your voice now being broadcasted around the country. Refocusing your thoughts back into your work, you greeted your dedicated and loyal listeners once again with your signature lively voice.
The night went by smoothly, with the setlist leaning towards the romance genre, starring many iconic love songs that your listeners had called in before dedicating to their loved ones. Though you swooned at the romantic gestures, you couldn’t help but not feel yourself despite the obvious abundance of love wafting through the air.
As the songs came to an end, the segment you most looked forward to came by, as slowly your hopes crept up higher, curiosity once again filling you as you wondered, maybe your Mr Mountain would find a way to surprise you during your daily call?
And so with raised expectations, you repeated the number to the station for the last time, waiting to be connected to your listeners, most importantly your favourite listener. Tonight, you had the time to entertain a few more listeners, so you started your calls with a sweet boyfriend who wanted to dedicate a speech to the love of his life on live radio.
Person by person, you found yourself spending the night talking to more people, listening to their unique takes on love and being loved, and while you found the common topic of the night to be endearing, you found yourself wishing that you were talking to a certain someone else instead.
But as your producer signalled the end of the final call-in of the night behind the controls of the recording booth, with no sign of Giant Mountain’s usual presence on your programme, a deep forlorness settled into the pit of your stomach.
Had it finally happened? Had he finally grown tired of spending the nights talking on your show? Did he finally grow tired of you?
As you pushed away the thoughts that now took full reign in your mind, you managed to wrap up the night’s broadcast with a cheerful tone that contrasted the inner turmoil you found yourself embroiled in.
Owing to the special occasion, the show had gone on for a bit longer than usual, and maybe it was the exhaustion of it all, or perhaps just the weight of disappointment that weighed down on you, but you couldn’t wait to get back to the solitude of your home and sleep away the weariness of the day.
As you wished your coworkers a drained goodnight, many had seemed to notice your apparent dejectedness, with Yunah even pulling you aside to ask if your usual bubbliness was replaced by this brooding energy due to the absence of Giant Mountain’s calls that usually had the whole studio giggling and teasing you.
But you quickly brushed her off saying that you barely even noticed the lack of his call, and that it didn’t matter that much to you anyways, to which you were greeted with a skeptical raise of her eyebrow. Quickly after, you packed up your things, waving everyone with a final goodbye. Despite your adoration towards your colleagues, tonight, you couldn’t have been more relieved to be left alone to your thoughts, as you slouched despondently against the insides of the company elevator.
Trudging your way past the entrance of the broadcasting station, your body a heavy weight to lug about, you take in your surroundings. The air is crisp, and the streets are quiet. You gladly welcome the serene peace the night offered, contrasting the muddled chaos in your head.
As you adjusted the strap of your bag, your eyes land on a lone figure in the desolate night, leaning against his car as he fidgeted with the ends of his sweater absentmindedly.
‘Taesan? What are you doing here?’
You were a bit confused. After wrapping up your show, it had already stretched past midnight and you were certain that the composer standing in front of you was supposed to have clocked out hours ago.
That was when you noticed the small yet gorgeous bouquet of flowers clutched tightly in his hand.
‘Oh! Were you waiting for someone?’ You asked, your curiosity piqued. It wasn’t surprising that the good-looking music composer also had a date for Valentine’s, although for some reason, the fact felt like another jab to the gut on this already upsetting day.
With a small nervous smile, Taesan finally looked up at you, eyes meeting yours.
‘Well yeah… I was waiting for you.’
Wait, what?
‘I told I’d surprise you didn’t I? Happy Valentine’s Day, Miss RJ’
Suddenly, it felt like the world had stopped. As you slowly start processing Taesan's words, you think you’re having an epiphany; with all the jumbled puzzle pieces that had been floating about in your head, clicking together in place, surprise and shock taking over you.
Giant Mountain… Taesan… Oh, it all made perfect sense now. And the near identical music taste from the days you had spent admiring the composer’s record collection in his studio? Now that it was all presented in front of you, you couldn’t believe how you’d missed to piece it all together when it was so conspicuously in front of you.
Your Mr Mountain had been right next to you this whole time, disguised in the form of a shy yet skillful composer you had grown a soft spot for in your time working together.
‘Wait Taesan… You’re Giant Mountain?’ You asked incredulously at the tall man in front of you, whose grin had grown wider at the sight of your obvious surprise at the revelation.
‘Guilty as charged. Though in my defence, I didn’t know we’d have to work together when I made the first call… if I had known I probably wouldn’t have done it, the whole thing was so risky anyways’, he replied sheepishly, his words trailing off as his gaze focused down to the ground.
‘Well, Giant Mountain, I’m glad the work offer came after you called in, I wouldn’t want to have imagined my nights without your company anyways’, you replied with a small laugh, causing Taesan to snap his vision from where he was so focused at kicking around the dirt around his feet, up to your eyes, surprise evident behind the shiny orbs.
‘But Mr Composer, all those calls… the flirting, the song requests… that was you the whole time? I will admit, you’ve got a lot more hiding behind the quiet studio-man persona you’ve let on, you know?’
Shuffling his feet, Taesan replied quietly, his usual unreadable stoicism replaced by an adorable shyness, ‘Well, I’d seen you around the company a lot, and I thought you were interesting… I figured if I couldn’t get your attention in person, I’d try my luck on air. And honestly, hearing your mesmerising voice every night after, it was impossible not to call in’
You felt a warm smile tugging at the corners of your lips. ‘You’re full of surprises, you know that, Taesan? Honestly, I still can’t believe I didn’t recognise your voice despite hearing it every day’
‘Well, I was trying to be mysterious. But I think the jig is up now. So…’ Taesan holds up the flowers in his hands, ‘These are for you. Consider it my way of saying thanks for putting up with the days in the studio and my late-night calls. And… if you’d like, you can call me Dongmin, Taesan is really just a stage name of sorts’
Taking the flowers from him, your hands briefly brushing in the process, you couldn’t stop the flush from blooming in your cheeks. ‘They’re beautiful. Thank you… Dongmin. But you know, you didn’t have to go through all this just to talk to me. You could’ve just… asked me out.’
Dongmin thought he could die happily when he heard his name slip past your lips. The same name he had spent his whole life hating sounded like the prettiest sound in the world. But shaking off the surprise, a sly grin spread across his face.
‘Where’s the fun in that? Besides, I wanted to make sure you knew how much I enjoy listening to you. Not just your voice, but the way you connect with people. It’s pretty incredible.’
You let the smile you were fighting off the whole time fully bloom at his words, your whole being warm and flushed despite the slight chill of the February night.
‘You know, you’re not too bad yourself. I don’t know many music composers, but I’d like to think that most wouldn’t go out of their way to dedicate ‘Fell in Love With a Girl’ to me during a nationwide broadcast’
Dongmin had shed himself of his initial nervousness by that point, his face adorned by a soft, genuine smile which you found utterly adorable. ‘Well, I’m glad to hear that. But does this mean you’ll let me take you out to coffee or dinner sometime? Even our cafeteria’s dinner is fine if you’re busy… anything is fine really… anything you want’
As he stuttered over his last words, you giggled at the taller man in front of you.
‘Of course, Dongmin, I’ll hold you to that. But only if you promise to keep calling in. I kind of like having my own personal mystery caller.’
‘Deal, but next time, you’ll know it’s me. No more hiding behind the radio persona.’
You let out a small chuckle at his words, ‘That’s great. Because Dongmin, I think I might just like the real-life version of Giant Mountain so much better.’
Taesan’s eyes radiated a soft warmth as you said the last few words, but suddenly, he straightened his posture, clearing his throat, as he moved to stand right in front of you.
‘Well, in that case, how about we start this Valentine’s Day over? Hi, I’m Dongmin. I work in music production, I’m terrible at talking to strangers, and I may or may not have been secretly crushing on you for months.’
Giggling at his antics, you took a step forward towards him, ‘Hey, Dongmin. I’m the host of a late night radio show here at KOZ. I talk way too much on the radio, I love cheesy love songs, and… I think I might have a crush on you too.’
His eyes scanning you with an adoring stare, Dongmin holds out his hand to you, a tender smile dancing about his boyish features, ‘Well, my dearest Miss RJ, it’s far too late for dinner, but could I perhaps interest you in some midnight ice cream?’
Reciprocating the warm smile, you take his hand. ‘Of course, Mr Mountain, ice cream sounds perfect.’
2 years ago
You leaned against the railing of your floor, cup of coffee untouched in your hands, as your eyes stayed focused on one of the corridors a few floors beneath your own, that the radio station overlooked.
It wasn’t the first time you’d seen the familiar hallways of the music and sound production department, yet something, or rather someone, had seemed to have caught your eye.
But as you felt a presence loom behind you, your gaze quickly shifted to your coworker and close friend. Yunah shoved your shoulder teasingly, ‘Careful now, stare at him any harder and you might just burn a hole into his back’
You rolled your eyes dismissively at her words, though your eyes seemed to betray you, as they quickly flickered down to catch a glimpse of the quiet man who leaned peacefully against a pillar, headphones comfilly sitting on his head as he mindlessly bobbed his head to the music.
Despite his inconspicuous dark clothes and reserved behaviour, all your attention seemed to be drawn to the newcomer at the music production department; the calmness that danced about his face, his emotions unreadable.
But in the chaos of the bustling broadcasting company, the stillness of the stranger’s presence seemed to almost comfort you, and had spurred your interest.
You turned to your friend who had been studying your every past movement. ‘What did you say his name was?’
A knowing smile taking over her features, Yunah replies, ‘Taesan, I heard. He’s a new composer working for the entertainment department, you know, for the movies and shows KOZ is producing. I heard from Jongseob that he used to be his senior at school.’
‘Taesan...’ you let the name linger on your tongue. It was a pretty name.
Yunah nudges you once more, eyebrows wiggling up and down teasingly, ‘What? You have a thing for Mr Composer over there?’
As you watched the quiet man walk away, back into the shadows of the hallway, you softly denied with a hum, ‘No, he just seems rather... interesting’
a/n: omg first post?? honestly i've read some life-changingly good bnd fics on here to the point where i was dragged out of my writing slump, so woo? anyways, i hope you like this one, this one is dedicated to all the taesan songs i have saved from soundcloud hehe ^^
#boynextdoor#bnd#bonedo#boynextdoor fic#bnd fic#bndnet#bnd fluff#bnd imagines#bnd x reader#bnd oneshot#boynextdoor fluff#boynextdoor x reader#boynextdoor imagines#boynextdoor scenarios#taesan#taesan bnd#taesan boynextdoor#han taesan#han dongmin#taesan x reader#taesan x you#taesan fic#han taesan fic#han taesan x reader#han taesan fluff#han taesan imagines#han dongmin fic#han dongmin x reader
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💄🎬Mercury in the Houses🎬💄



❗️All the observations in this post are based on personal experience and research, it's completely fine if it doesn't resonate with everyone❗️
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✨️Mercury symbolizes a person's intellect, communication, the exchange of ideas, studies, learning✨️
💄In the 1st house: it gives the person a curious, competitive mind, and a mental and intellectual capacity with a superior gift when it comes to expressing oneself both in writing and speaking. This ability will be ideal for working in the academic and scientific world, or somewhere in which their voices can be heard.
💄In the 2nd house: mental and communication abilities will give the person a gift in financial aspects, business. With this intellectual capacity, they will know how to earn a living through their mental effort. They will be able to see where to achieve success and where not. They will be able to work in areas such as journalism, or writing.
💄In the 3rd house: very powerful since it is their own house of Mercury and they can better develop their qualities. In this house everything related to studies, learning, and intellectual faculties will be very good for them; they tend to have multiple interests and careers.
💄In the 4th house: it gives the person an intellectual environment in their family roots. Mercury in this placement favors professions that have to do with the house (architect for example).
💄In the 5th house: it has to do with creativity, here the intellectual part can favor these natives being writers, intellectuals. They will be attracted to reading, writing, everything that has to do with curiosity, with learning. They will have few children and if they have a relationship with them, they will have very good communication.
💄In the 6th house: a very good position for everything related to work, responsibility, involvement. It also has to do with technology, since it requires observation and is ideal for health problems. Predisposition to change jobs and to move around for work issues.
💄In the 7th house: it favors finding a partner who is either younger or with intellectual and/or restless attitudes. It may be that marriage is sometimes more out of interest than love. This position helps you to know how to move in the social area and to know how to emerge victorious in situations.
💄In the 8th house: it is a perfect position for psychologists and occultists. These natives will be attracted by the ancient, the occult, everything that has to do with research. Favorable position for business, finances.
💄In the 9th house: it favors intellectual growth to give a person oriented to be a scientist or a writer of some kind. Numerous trips abroad will surely, although long and short durations. Philology, literature and innate facility in languages will attract you.
💄In the 10th house: it will make the native ideal for professions such as diplomat or politicians, there is an humanitarian nature to them. Everything that has to do with the business world will be attractive to this native. Their sharp mind will make them reap great professional successes. It may sometimes cause instability.
💄In the 11th house: Mercury will provide this native with intelligent and diplomatic friendships that will be related to communication. They know how to inspire loyalty in their friends. They will be in groups where there is an exchange of ideas. Friendships with family members.
💄In the 12th house: Mercury has a difficult role here. Since they will feel like the black sheep among their environment. They will be a person who will be highly evaluated, judged. They are intelligent but will not know how to express themselves well. Traumas in childhood, adolescence.

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Christofascists: I mean, you KNOW those Jews are untrustworthy, because they don’t even believe in Christ! Imagine that, refusing to believe in the son of your own God! Ridiculous. Clearly we have to go out of our way to convince them to convert to the One True Faith, Christianity. We are Right and they are Wrong and Evil!
Anti-theists: I mean, you KNOW those Jews are untrustworthy, they genuinely worship a fictional character! Imagine that, putting your faith in a “higher power”! Ridiculous. Clearly we have to convince them to convert to the One True Belief, atheism. We are Right and they are Wrong and Evil!
Anti-theists: Boy I’m sure glad I’m nothing like those awful christofascists I hate so much. It’s pitiful to have such blind faith in the innate superiority of your beliefs over other people’s. Anyway my beliefs are superior to other people’s
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