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atlascas · 4 years ago

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DEANCAS FIC REC

(last updated 7/1)

FINALLY. this is like. just a place for me to rec and write excessively abt the fics i've been reading lately. it won't be organized but it WILL be very earnest and i'll keep it updated as i find/remember more. also i have obnoxiously high standards when it comes to fic so these ARE the cream of the crop, if u will. the god tier. the s tier.

very loosely organized into "newer fic" and "classics." these are subjective categories. do what you will

✨ = new fic on the list

💖 = in my brain rent free!

CURRENTLY READING

these are the fics that i’m currently reading! may or may not get recced. usually i read the first couple paragraphs/lines and if i like the writing it gets bookmarked and put on this list.

lazarus needs a robe of scarlet thread by herrosesneverfall, 90k, canonverse au. dean starts getting stigmata. when i was getting back into spn there were a LOT of religious fics flying around bc that was the Hot Topic of Discussion. this was one of them

Three weeks ago, Dean woke up in a pine box. He thought dealing with the nightmares was going to be the most difficult part of his new life after Hell, but at least they were something he could understand. Something he could deal with. Something he deserved.

Then he began having agonizing visions of crucifixion. Wounds appeared on his body out of nowhere. Wounds that refused to heal and coated his skin with the sickly sweet smell of roses.

Stigmata are said to be the marks of saints, but Dean is not a saint and the wounds are only the beginning.

kingdom come by ahurston, 8.7k, coda to 15x18. cas gets to go home. im gathering all the s15 fix-its to my heart and holding them close

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

hunger by ellispark, 10.8k, s13 au. dean grieves cas, post s12 finale. perfect writing perfect awful heartwrenching characterization so far on dean’s end especially towards jack. nuanced emotional writing

Dean takes his meal and throws it away, plate and all. He's not hungry. How can he even begin to eat, knowing what he kept from Cas �� what he kept from both of them?

They could have had something, and now all Dean has is this gaping, empty hole in his stomach, in his chest, and he has to learn to breathe and eat and move around it.

the law of equivalent exchange by awed_frog, 60.8k, canonverse. cas loving dean in all permutations of humanity, throughout time.

“And what’s the point of it?”

“Of love? There isn’t one. Loving is its own purpose.”

NEWER FIC

“newer” just means “i discovered it in 2020/2021 after coming back to spn fandom” so it very well could have been published before 2015 but really who’s checking. not me that’s for sure.

💖 so says the sword by komodobits, 85k, s4 au. cas guards the michael sword in the beautiful room. this is easily the MOST obvious rec on this entire list but it was the first fic i read when i got back into spn this year and jesus christ it set the bar sky fucking high. the way they create a coherent mythology out of the mess that is spn canon is incredible.

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’

Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected.

assimilation by komodobits, 5.6k, coda to 12x01. mary meets dean and cas and they go to find sam. such good character studies of all three of them. the best mary pov fic i’ve read

Mary always thought you were supposed to be able to tell. That you could just look at someone and know they were – you know. One of that sort. It’s not supposed to happen to her son.

cuckoo and nest by komodobits, 10k, ambiguously canonverse. dean and cas navigate relationship anxiety. cute, in character, and their relationship is realistic and the conflict well-written and emotionally nuanced and really really really good.

For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.

It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.

💖 one white lie by komodobits, 11k, au. cas panics when trying to ask dean out and has to fake being a jehovah’s witness. it’s adorable and hilarious and it’s been ages since i actually got butterflies at a kiss in a fic but this did it. it did it. it felt like someone swaddled my soul in a cashmere blanket and kissed me on the forehead

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

a crash course in someone else’s history by annie d (scaramouche), 11.5k, set during s6. cas comes to as his s4 self without any memories of the past two years and has to figure out what the fuck is going on. it’s kind of like so says the sword. you’ll know it when you get to it.

Castiel is captured inside a trapping circle of holy oil set by Dean and Sam Winchester. The brothers call him "Cas", claiming that he has amnesia and that he is obligated to help them take down Crowley to atone for his betrayal of them. It's the strangest story Castiel's ever heard, and one he doesn't have time for because he's only just raised Dean from Hell and has work to get back to.

💖 cas and dean’s adventures in gardening by ahurston, 19k, post-canon au. a series featuring dean and cas living in the bunker, human. cas is very into plants. i read this yesterday actually and it made me smile SO much it’s just so lovely and sweet. i’m also a sucker for any fic where cas has a garden. he deserves a fucking garden okay

In this post-God world, everything is different. A little quieter, a little softer. Cas grows a garden, Dean cooks, and they take care of each other.

tall grass by aeli_kindara, 57k, post-s12. dean and cas live in the bunker on their own, and cas grows a garden. i did say i love fics where cas has a garden. plus domesticity, plus some good case fic, PLUS dean and cas’ relationship is so gentle and good

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says.

Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away.

Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

in a week by renrub, 2.3k, post 15x18. cas is in the empty. dean saves him. this is genuinely the best “dean pulls cas out of the empty” fic i’ve read so far like conceptually this entire thing just fucks. when cas is cycling through the barn scene. god. SO well written

Castiel is outside a barn covered in sigils. He frowns. This isn’t right. This has never been something he repented for.

i won’t even wish for snow by annie d (scaramouche), 5.6k, college au. cas goes to the winchesters’ for christmas. honestly scaramouche fics belong in the classics section bc she’s like an og deancas writer but whatever. mistletoe! banter! good in-character au! this fic’s got it all

It’s the third year that Castiel’s spending Christmas with his best friend’s family, and he expects it to be much like the previous two. Then mistletoe happens.

convenient husbands by annie d (scaramouche), 39k, canonverse au. cas is a phoenix, dean is a hunter. they get married and have a sick psychic bond. unexpectedly fluffy considering how the fic starts and i love the banter so much and dean/cas’ relationship gets fleshed out and organically developed it’s very cute

"It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?"

cinderwings by bendingsignpost, 181k, cinderella au. cas goes to a masquerade ball to save his people from an eternity trapped in a void. he meets prince dean. i can’t tell u how much this fic drew me in - thru good worldbuilding, but mostly thru cas’ social awkwardness. like it works PERFECTLY to his advantage in this fic and reading how expertly he manipulates social situations w/o any fucking idea what he’s doing is both hilarious and inspiring

Under the cover of a masquerade ball, Castiel has five nights to recover the key to his people's freedom. The world has changed greatly in the six centuries since their banishment into the void, but the task isn't impossible. Unfortunately for Castiel, this is going to involve talking to people - especially the Knight Prince who has taken an interest in Castiel and his "costume" wings.

as the crow flies by bendingsignpost, 3.4k, au. dean and cas go on a roadtrip. cas has wings! it’s so dreamlike and meandering and the slowburn is so good. honestly it reminds me of stevebucky/stevesam post tws era roadtrip fics if ur hip LMAO

Cross country road trips with Cas are the best.

long-term relationship by bendingsignpost, 2.7k, au. dean and cas have a Serious Conversation about their relationship.

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers, 7k, ambiguously canonverse. dean is trans. dean and cas are fucking and lowkey hiding it from sam. perfect character study PERFECT trans dean fic it’s so fucking well-written

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

💖 the love story of the runner up by margo_kim, 4.7k, ambiguously canonverse. cas tries dating other men. bear with me here. this is an outside pov fic from an oc named miguel who is WONDERFULLY characterized and very endearing like i find outsider/oc pov to be on Thin Fucking Ice bc it always ends up as fandom/author self-insert but miguel is his OWN MAN. he gets his own lil arc and everything. dean and cas are concentrated perfectly crystallized versions of themselves and the little glimpses we get of them are amazing. ALSO i wrote like 9k of an spn vent fic (basically the same premise but w an oc named marcus) back in like. freshman yr of hs. so when i first opened this fic i was like what the fuck someone’s been in my google docs. very weird experience 10/10 regardless

“So you saw a white man in a trench coat pop out in an alley,” Paul says, “and you thought, what, ‘I want to see where this is going’?”

“If you get hung up on details like that,” Miguel says, “it will take a very long time to get through this story.”

For a very weird era in his life, Miguel dates an angel who is in love with another man.

sunshine by northernsparrow, 8k, set during s13. dean and cas have a long conversation about their Profound Bond. the description left me off-balance (it really. really truly says “dean is straight in this fic” like okay bro WEIRD hill to die on) but it pulled through w the relationship study and reassurance and snuggles. a sweet fic

One-shot with a single conversation between Dean and Castiel, set in a late-S13-ish world. Gabriel, Cas, Sam & Dean are all living in the bunker together, Gabe's been cracking certain jokes, Sam's found a certain book, Cas is injured and isn’t healing... and it's all making Dean wonder if his angel friend might have some sort of a "bond" with... somebody? Whatever that means.

Maybe it's time for a talk.

💖 still life by catchclaw, 16.5k, post-s8. cas, newly human, goes to live on his own for a while. he and dean maintain a relationship thru the phone. this is LITERALLY the only first person fic i fucking respect okay like i was skeptical! i really was! but the pov is PERFECT and also my man kevin tran is in this fic and i love him and miss him very much. oh and cas going off to explore humanity on his own..............perfect arc. very much in character we love that for him

Dean'd always thought that falling in love was a capital letter kind of thing, an Important Event you carved into the calendar of your life and never, ever forgot. But with he and Cas, it wasn't that simple.

it’s mostly cowardice, and bad timing by ferritin4, 1.6k, pre-canon. actually this one is just a dean study it’s not deancas but i spent an entire night looking for it and i need someone else to read it too. dean is smart!!! SAY THAT

Dean gets his GED.

a list of reasons the bunker shouldn’t get a sofa by lizbobjones, 5.6k, set during s12. sam and dean and mary and cas haul a sofa back to the bunker. cute domesticity and fluff

Let me count the ways that this is a terrible idea.

no kingdom to come by domesticadventures, 16.8k, canonverse. dean and cas deal with being stuck in quarantine in different ways. this is the one and only quarantine fic i’ve read and it’s really good lmao. dean and cas’ relationship is so organic and tentative in this one

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

till the juice runs by deathbanjo, 8.4k, canonverse. it’s like dean’s being cursed to have bad hookups with men. SUCH a funny fic and the deancas tension is so simple and sweet and GOOD. plus cas is so enjoyably characterized here he’s so human and worn in and experienced in his own unique way. perfect use of rowena too

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

turn of the year by kototyph, 3.9k, canonverse au. sam and dean get stuck out in the middle of nowhere on the winter solstice. what i wouldn’t give for a full 80k of this verse actually. also i went on a kototyph binge after reading shut up put your money where your mouth is and they have a SOLID spn repertoire

Fifteen minutes later, Dean gets back in the car with empty hands and ice in his fucking eyebrows. “Get the map out,” he says through chattering teeth, sticking numb fingers under his arms.

Sam holds up the battered 1995 Rand MacNally they keep in the side pocket, turned to a page of uninterrupted green. “We’re going to die,” he announces.

💖 bullets in the gun by kototyph, 4.9k, canonverse au. cas is a cop (i know. still) who gets kidnapped by dean in an unfortunate turn of events. GOD this fic is SO FUNNY. cas’ canny and strategic escape attempts render him a very active VERY funny pov character plus the hate attraction to dean is PERFECTLY WRITTEN VERY BELIEVABLE. dean’s kindness also shines thru even as he literally holds cas hostage like!!!! PERFECT characterization. both of them are so LIKABLE here. if you read anything on this list read this

“Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m going to need to borrow your car.”

as you will by kototyph, 1.8k, victorian au. cas endures a proposal mishap. it’s cute it’s funny it’s sweet!

"No?" Castiel echoes, dumbly.

and if i was looking too? by kototyph, 2.6k, au. cas is undercover where dean works. this fic is just so cute like. bird angels.................

There are some things Castiel hasn't told Dean, and there are some things he doesn't need to.

the most important thing by northernsparrow, 94.5k, s10 au. amnesiac cas raising claire until he comes across someone familiar. claire is so well characterized here i really loved her arc thruout this fic. she just wants her dad back and u can’t even blame her the author rlly does an amazing job creating realistic and heartbreaking motivations for her. oh and dean and cas (esp cas characterization!) are sweet in this but honestly the highlight IS claire for me

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

there’s only one sure thing that i know by blinkiesays, 20.3k, post-s5. dean goes to help cas out in ohio and they end up building a home together. i love the writing it’s rlly funny and sweet.

Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest.

💖 to an angel, love and worship are the same thing by geminisage, 10.3k, post s15 fix it. dean grieves cas - and then cas gets brought back back from the empty. i didn’t have this in my bookmarks so i MISSED it the first time around on this list but this was another one of the fics i came back to spn fandom to. it’s so fucking unique?? it actually reads like spn like i think fic tends to soften dean/cas up and makes them more emotional + emotionally intelligent than is ever shown in the show. here the dialogue/characterization adheres RIGOROUSLY to their communication in canon in that dean’s not overtly emotional, and cas is very reserved. they have to negotiate their relationship exactly like they would in the show. it’s all clipped conversation and anger and hurt and (warning btw) LOTS of internalized homophobia on dean’s end but it’s SO worth it. dean navigating his [GESTURES VAGUELY] everything is compellingly written, emotionally true, and PERFECTLY characterized. cas characterization also amazing like u rlly feel the quiet devoted bittersweet love. ok this was long clearly it’s a good fic go read it now

Just as Dean knew they would, the weeks do stretch into months, and then into a year. Grief never gets easier, Dean knows from experience, but you do get better at it. After all, you can get used to anything.

the violin house by teh_helenables, 8.5k, post-s5. dean and cas build a home after stull. so slow and lovely and sweet and gentle. i need to put this here so that i don’t forget it tbh. it’s very much dean as a war wife cas as the husband away on the front

The Apple Pie Life is a slow process, but Dean and Cas are getting there—until Cas is called for battle and Dean is forced to wait.

💖 muscle memory by komodobits, 18.9k, au. amnesiac cas wakes up three years in the future with dean in his kitchen. komodobits DOES NOT FUCKING MISS!!! i CRIED at the end of this i had NO INTENTION OF CRYING the rest of the fic isn’t even SAD i just had to sit there at the end of it w tears dribbling down my face. INSANE work of art

Dear Castiel,

Hello – it’s Castiel. This must all seem very confusing, and I’m sorry for that. Dean says to tell you that this isn’t some kind of ‘time-travel stunt’, although I’m sure that won’t be your first thought. I know it wasn’t mine. I’ve told Dean to leave now, as this is my notebook and I want everything in it to come from me – or rather, from you. I know you think it's the fifteenth of January, 2010, but it isn't. At the time of my writing this, the date is the fourth of October, 2013. Dean Winchester is your boyfriend of a year and a half, and you no longer work at the library, and in early 2010 you were hit by a car and hospitalised. I’m sorry.

a.k.a the 50 First Dates Dean/Cas AU where Castiel wakes up on a day just like any other, except that three years have passed without his knowing, and Dean Winchester is in the kitchen wanting to marry him.

don’t forget the experience points by annie d (scaramouche), 10.8k, au. cas is sam’s work friend, and he and dean get to know each other. genuinely an adorable fic. i adore cas’ characterization in this it’s snarky AND awkward AND confident in a way that i absolutely believe he would be if he had 30 yrs of human life under his belt

It's because Dean was an awesome brother than he took such an interest in Sam's new friend. No, really. What happened afterwards was mostly an accident.

actus fidei by manic_intent, 5.6k, canonverse au. dean’s a priest, cas is still his angel. i was HOOKED from the description alone like That’s Everything I Love in One Sentence. Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the very first time that Castiel manifests in front of Father Dean Winchester, he gets as far as "Rejoice, for you are blessed-" before Dean shoots him with a salt-loaded shotgun.

not with a bang but a yelp by strange_estrangement, 1.4k, canonverse. team free will leave yelp reviews. this isn’t d/c actually it’s just a crack-ish fic but the formatting is cool and the references are SO funny and so well done

What happens when you visit dozens and dozens of motels every year? You leave Yelp reviews.

the courtship of combat by bendingsignpost, 18.2k, medieval a/b/o au. cas is politically coerced into fighting in a courtship melee for prince dean's hand, and he teams up with two unexpected allies to do it. I KNOW HOW THE ABO THING SOUNDS but i swear it's done well - it's by bendingsignpost so ofc he puts his own spin on the premise. im absurdly into it. PLUS jack is in it!!!!!!! it's technically an unfinished series but the first part is so good just on its own

When pressed upon to mate for a political alliance, Commander Castiel dares to refuse his king. As “I do not wish to mate at all” is clearly the wrong thing to say, Castiel takes the other path and lies. “You must know my affections lie elsewhere, my king.”

King Michael studies Castiel’s face long and hard. Then, with a nod, he snaps his fingers, pointing to Castiel. “The Winchester omega.”

“Yes,” Castiel says with no real recollection of who that is.

The ruse of an unavailable omega works well enough, right up until that omega is no longer unavailable. Then, with what seems to be his entire nation cheering him on toward victory, Castiel must enter the melee to win his mate. Backed by allies, training, and his own natural talents, the only question is how well he can contrive to fail.

four letter word for intercourse by bendingsignpost, 194.7k, au. dean calls a sex hotline. OH BOY solid characterization excellent plot/premise like bendingsignpost is so good at turning absurd premises into realistic, believable fiction. also sex hotline fic is usually a BIG turn-off bc of the power dynamics/one-sidedness of a relationship based on sex work but. BUT. bendingsignpost does it well! it’s not weird at ALL i started reading and was immediately reassured abt its intentions and its plot direction

As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.

What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right?

(It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)

the tunnel of love by xylodemon, 21.4k, post-canon. case fic! dean and cas have to kiss on a loveboat to solve a case >:)

"We might," Cas starts slowly, pausing like he's choosing his words. "We might have to kiss."

Dean just stares at him.

when you have a future. by firebog, 17.6k, post-s8. dean and sam and cas learning to be human post-apocalypse. reminds me of robotmango’s writing! it’s kind of eccentric and very very sweet and funny.

Sam closes Hell. Castiel closes Heaven. The heroes save the day. There's no Heaven or Hell waiting to cause the next big disaster. There's no more end of the world. There's only a squirmy feeling in his chest that feels a lot like freedom. So, now what?

(Things I promise you in this fic: dog poetry, rabbits, and fluff)

six inch heels by alitneroon, 2.3k, canonverse. dean does drag! excellent fucking character study. prose is fantastic

Dean does drag on a whim, and ends up in way over his head.

sharing is caring by gateskeeper, 2.5k, canonverse. five times dean and cas shared something and one time they didn’t. look. sometimes u just need some saccharine tropey fluff. it’s VERY well written

Sam knows that Dean and Cas have shared a lot together, but ever since Cas became human permanently, it seems like they've been sharing a lot more.

Or: five times Dean and Cas shared something special and one time Dean refused to.

💖 empty spaces by schmerzerling, 60k, au. dean has to take care of his dying father, and takes up running to cope. that’s just the beginning. HEAVY trigger warnings for ED (specifically anorexia) and suicidal thoughts. there is a happy ending, but dean has to fight to make it there. god. okay. this is a dark fic. it’s also one of the most well-characterized fics i’ve ever read. dean’s spiral is excruciatingly accurate and written with the kind of wry compassion that comes from either extensive research or extensive experience. it’s also completely immersed in dean’s perspective - dean’s relationship w his dad, dean’s relationship w food scarcity, etc. it’s incredible. it’s kinda scary. it’s deeply sad. cas is explicitly autistic and it’s ALSO incredibly accurate and loving, and makes cas so true to his canon self. ugh. and i burst into TEARS at some of the accompanying art, which is so sparse and lonely and beautiful. 100/10 experience one of the best fics i’ve read this year

Dean is fine. The way he sees it, things are simple. He had a house and a family and food in his stomach, and now he doesn't. And yeah, that's a downer, but he's not going to let that stop him from being fine, because he's in control of the situation. He definitely doesn't need anyone to save him. And it's not like the weird guy with the nice butt from down the road is the knight-in-shining-armor type, anyway.

broken road by thegeminisage, 109.6k, 14x13 au. dean makes a wish and gets more than he bargained for. a lot of “john comes back” fics are kinda short on nuance, which this author has talked about a lot - and oh MAN does this fic deliver on nuance. john’s abuse is absolutely present, but his pov makes him a complex character instead of a flat caricature for dean to reject. and the way this fic resolves really makes it clear that the priority is dean’s emotional well-being over all else!!! this isn’t about dean taking the path fandom thinks he should take w his abuser (killing john, punching john in the face, etc), this is abt dean coming to terms w his abuse and finding his own emotionally satisfying way of resolving it. also dean and cas are in an established relationship and it’s very slow and sweet.

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end.

home is not a place by imogenbynight, 6.8k, post-s11. human cas struggles with belonging, and dean struggles with their relationship. this reads a lot like komodobits’ cuckoo and nest, but it’s its own sweet little thing. they watch movies!!! very cute

In which Dean is the oblivious one for a change.

love: a retrospective by xylodemon, 40.7k, post-s12. dean tries to deal w cas’ absence after s12 and reflects on their relationship thru the years. this was written before s13 aired, so - no spoilers - but jack plays a different role than he ends up playing in canon. it’s kinda fun seeing ppl’s theories pre-s13 tbh. makes me VERY glad that they took jack in the direction they did in show. anyway this is THEE definitive “they’ve been fucking all along” fic

Pretending Cas is just his friend has been the only thing keeping Dean's head on straight for years. He never realized how much doing that depended on him making himself scarce in the morning ─ not until Cas came back and moved into the bunker.

✨💖 if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee, 37k, post-s15 fix-it. cas gets broken out of the empty - and he immediately makes a break for it. new fave fix-it!!!! the writing is so understated and so straightforward - SO in character for cas tbh - that every single emotional beat feels like a PUNCH. and there are so many amazing character moments it made my chest seize the fuck up!!!!! perfect characterization perfect relationship moments perfect cas/jack parenting moments. the yearning over the phone is OFF THE CHARTS and spocklee makes the most of that tension!!!! PLUS old canon characters get to make fun appearances!!!!! i cannot recommend this shit enough

After the Empty, Cas has to spend some time alone. Orpheus tries to convince Eurydice over the phone that it’s okay to turn around now.

✨ before and after breakfast by spocklee, 10.5k, post-canon. dean and sam and cas tackle a monster of the week case with unexpected consequences. perfect pov perfect relationship moments SUCH GOOD TENSION. again this writing style just lets the tension dial up to 1000% every word is meaningful and it makes my chest hurt!!! spocklee SHOULD have blown up during the spn renaissance and i STAND by that

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

CLASSICS

isn't it cool how every person has diff fics they consider "classics?" anyway these are required fucking reading. if u've been around these will prob be old news.

💖 asunder by rageprufrock, 23k, au. dean and cas go to sam's wedding. i reread this once a year like a religious ritual.

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6)

💖 the girlfriend experience by rageprufrock, 15k, set during s5. dean teaches cas how to be human. mostly the sex part. literally the gold fucking standard of s4-5 era deancas fic and for deancas fic in general, personally

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

okay, cupid. by orange_crushed, 4.5k, au. dean tries to sign up for an ok cupid profile and has a revelation. as soon as i put this entry down i realized this entire fic rec was an exercise in futility, because if i could i'd literally just rec everything orange_crushed/robotmango has ever written. still one of THEE best authors in this fandom. go read all her fics. i’ll put the highlights here

"The dating thing?" Dean frowns. "Online dating is for weirdos. Robots. Dudes hanging out in their basements."

"You hang out in your basement."

"I have an air hockey table down there,” Dean says, icily.

💖 pwp: pie without plot by orange_crushed and majorenglishesquire, 82k, post-s8. sam and dean and cas quit hunting for a little bit to open a bakery. this is my comfort fic. i love it so so much.

he is in the kitchen with flour on his hands and an apron and there is flour on his forehead and cas leans across the counter and wipes it off with his thumb and dean says "thank you" and cas says "you’re welcome" very seriously and later dean makes apple turnovers and he only ruins them a little and sam realizes it’s not a real hunt like four days into it and he lets dean stay undercover for like a week and a half or longer maybe way longer because he is such a good everything

💖 la cucina by orange_crushed, 4k, post-s8. dean gets into cooking for a newly human cas. it's so gentle and loving and kind and makes me tear up every time. YES food is a comfort item and expression of love for dean. no i don't want to talk about it

Dean turns around and Castiel is picking through the jars, turning them over carefully to read the labels, totally engrossed. Dean watches him.

"Is there," Dean says, "uh, anything in there you like?" Castiel looks up at him and then back at the apples, sitting in a basket on the counter in their golden skins, ripe and pretty. Castiel smiles up at Dean.

"I don’t know yet," he says.

today, your barista verse by orange_crushed, 13.6k, coffeeshop au. a series of short sweet lovely fics where cas is a barista and dean is a smitten customer. literally the only coffeeshop au i respect

"Is that-"

"My number," says Dean, because he's a fucking champion, he's cool, he's collected, he's Captain Smooth of the USS Smoothtania, that's right. He is definitely not leaning against the counter for moral support. Cas doesn't looked seduced or impressed, though. He does not look like a dude who just met Captain Smooth and wants to ride the loveboat. He looks puzzled.

fata morgana. by orange_crushed, 6.6k, post-s9. dean is the king of hell. bela and cas team up to find him. bela pov. yeah you fucking heard that right BELA POV. BELA AND CAS!!!!!!!!!! makes me lose my mind i love everyone in this stupid desolate fucking hell wasteland.

The endless asphalt and broken road, the empty land and piles of human garbage, the unwanted ends of life, the cracked toys and broken screens and burning cars and gravel. Dean Winchester is the king of hell.

"Oh," says Bela.

That changes certain things.

💖 gran fury. by orange_crushed, 5k, pacific rim au. sam and cas pair up in a last ditch mission to save the world. permanently damaged me at age 15 and i've never recovered. major fucking angst warning.

They sit in silence and Castiel passes him the bottle. There’s not much left to say. Sam takes a gulp and it burns going down, like the cheap shit it is. He holds the bottle up against the light. He can see the Fury through it, distorted like a funhouse mirror. She’s a tomb but Sam loves her. Loves everything that’s left.

"To the end of the world," he says.

"To the end of the world," says Castiel.

💖 shut up (put your money where your mouth is) by kototyph, 24k, au. dean and cas get drunk married in vegas. dean renovates cas' house. this fic is SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered/expected and the entire series is fucking adorable go read it RIGHT now

Dean's done some pretty stupid things, but getting drunk-hitched in Vegas to a colleague he barely knows might just take the cake. His surprise husband, Castiel, is a little weird but likable despite that, and Dean figures they’ll go back to Boston, get a quiet annulment, and go their separate ways. Six weeks later, he’s still married to one of the strangest, most genuine and definitely most dangerously lov-- likable guys he's ever known. Dean doesn't know why or really even how it’s happening, but it’s getting harder and harder to remember that he has divorce papers to file.

not part of the plan by annie d (scaramouche), 338k, arranged marriage au. cas is slated to marry a noble from the winchester house. things spiral out of control. if you’re looking for an extensive well-developed political au, this is fucking it. i love reading about political machinations so this was FASCINATING to me.

Castiel's spent most of his adult life keeping his head down and staying out of trouble. This is a deliberate choice on his part, because as a cousin of the King, he'd rather stay unimportant and forgotten. This changes abruptly when King Michael decides that he has a better use for Castiel: he is to be wed to a noble member of the neighboring Republic, as part of an agreement between their two nations.

Castiel knows he has to obey, but that doesn't mean he won't rebel in what small ways he can. Unexpectedly, his actions end up having far-reaching consequences.

💖 all things shining by askance and standbyme, 142k, au. sam and dean and cas go on a hunt that's not really a hunt, and against all odds good things happen. it's beautifully written and has scenes that literally make my heart leap out of my chest with joy and awe it's just WONDERFUL it's a wonderful fic. incredible mythology too omg i found that the authors actually created the myth the entire story is based on - like they don’t pull a random one from history, they made one up THEMSELVES. they even self-published it on amazon if ur curious

Something in the world is waking up.

It isn’t long before it’s brought to the attention of the Winchesters and Castiel: miracles are spreading across the country, the paranormal seems to be shrinking back on itself—and it all has something to do with the missing prayer book of a traveling preacher who died over a century ago.

Dean is convinced it’s all the lead-up to another Apocalypse; Sam and Castiel aren’t so sure. Regardless, it sends them out on a less-than-typical road-trip, following the Mississippi and remnants of a very old story that seems increasingly to call to them. And along the way the trio learn much more about themselves—and the consequences and origins of love—than they’d ever have anticipated.

💖 broadway musical by griftings, 12.4k, crack. romcom where cas is supposed to play matchmaker to dean and jo and well. you know. it actually made me cackle out loud when i read it again so you know it's still good. absolutely one of the funniest fics i’ve read

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

the five people you meet in heaven by chevrolangels, 22k, ambiguously canonverse. dean dies and goes to heaven and meets five people from his life. NOT a post-finale fic but still horrifically sad. i remember sobbing hysterically when i first read this so

Heaven is white.

Well. Isn’t that fucking stereotypical.

Dean isn’t really sure how he got here. Or even why he’s here. And hell, for all the times the Winchesters have died, he thinks he ought to know the drill by now. But what he doesn’t know is when most folks go, they find something different.

There’s a system God put in place. That when you’re gone (for good), there are a couple things you gotta do first. There are five people waiting for you.

They are the five people you meet in heaven.

any port in a storm by microcomets, 53k, post-s8. dean and cas go on a haunted cruise for a case. you know what happens next. also the art is by anobviousaside and it's gorgeous

The angels have fallen, leaving Castiel graceless and Dean with, well, more of other people’s problems. When a string of couples goes missing on the east coast, Dean and Cas decide to investigate—and find themselves trapped and hunted on a couples’ counseling cruise. Although battling monsters at sea is dangerous enough, sorting through emotional baggage proves to be far more deadly. (And, in which Cas embarks to find his missing grace and Dean is put out. Not necessarily in that order.)

a turn of the earth by microcomets, 95k, pre-canon au. cas is on the run from the empty and crash lands in dean's life. at one point he punches john in the face. a fucking beautifully written character study of pre-canon dean, honestly.

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

unfinished duet by microcomets, 5.8k, canonverse. sam observes dean and cas throughout the years. i remember this breaking my heart back in 2013!

Sam watches Dean and Cas over the years and notices a few things. (Or, Dean and Cas unscripted.)

💖 ergative/absolutive by glassedplanets, 8k, college au. dean and cas are best friends who meet in an astronomy class. i'm never not thinking about this fic it's so sweet and the friends to lovers is so soft and believable

He really shouldn’t be thinking thoughts like this about his best friend who literally just broke up with his girlfriend, but he knows he’ll blame it on sleepiness in the morning. He always does.

a certain light by flightagain, 24k, au. cas works at the gas n sip. dean is a customer. this author’s writing style is so lonely and heavy but it’s very lovely

Castiel works at the Gas-n-Sip. There are half-price nachos and flickering lights, there are office-workers and werewolves stopping by for snacks. Dean is a frequent customer, and his office might be haunted.

the one thing you can’t lose by majorenglishesquire, 5k, ambiguously canonverse. dean can pull cas around and it’s adorable. character study-ish. very sweet.

You know what I like a lot? The thought that Dean can just tug Cas anywhere at any time and Cas, who can lift tons without effort, who can demolish things with the light of his grace, who has battled and gone to war, has defended and broken, will just let Dean do it.

brother lover by twentysomething, 4k, set during s4/s5. dean’s jealous of sam and cas’ budding relationship. this fic is so tropey but it does it well and it’s funny as fuck

However- and it doesn't happen a lot- they have to invoke 'I saw her first.’

his fucking kids by 8sword, 3k, canonverse au. dean and cas raise claire and emma together. yes, claire novak. yes, emma of 7x13 spice girls fame. this was the first kidfic i read for spn i think. obvs written before jack or claire actually came back into the picture but it was the TEMPLATE of kidfic for me for ages

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

💖 what has eight tentacles and isn’t allowed to eat pie? by annie d (scaramouche), 16k, post s8. dean gets turned into an octopus. another fic that was SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered i fucking love when that happens. it isn’t even about dean being an OCTOPUS like NO. NOT EVEN. it’s ACTUALLY about the bunker and building a home and a community and a family and about PHYSICAL COMFORT and you can actually feel the world expanding at the end of this fic like a gusty sigh of relief it’s SO WONDERFUL. kevin is in this fic. ellie is too and i had to look her up but THIS is her!!!! danay garcia u were too hot to stay on this show but i love you and miss u

Dean watched an anime porn about this once, but real life turns out to be way less interesting.

Or, the one where Dean gets turned into an octopus.

💖 a beginner’s guide to communing with the dead by suspiciousflashlight, 77k, canonverse au. dean is a cop who summons a powerful entity to help him solve a cold case. oh my god i can’t believe i didn’t put this on here i love this one so much. the writing bowls me over it’s so confident in its worldbuilding like you’re IMMEDIATELY plunged into dean’s pov (FLAWLESSLY executed throughout the fic btw) and you just learn about the world as you go!! and it’s such a fascinating world!!! i love the magic i love the typical bureaucratic red tape procedures i love normalizing the supernatural. i ESPECIALLY love monsters as normal people in a society. at one point there’s this exchange

“Monsters,” says Cas finally. “Beyond the Wall there are monsters.” “You mean, like, vampires and djinn and stuff?” Cas shakes his head. “Those aren’t monsters, those are just people.”

those lines have stayed with me for years. i think about them every time i rewatch an episode of spn.

Maybe it's the little girl whose disappearance turned into a murder, and whose murder turned into a cold case, and who has now apparently decided to move in with him. Maybe it's the unacceptable hole left in his life when his dumb best friend and partner in (the prevention of) crime decided to go and get himself killed. Maybe it's his brother, whose high-profile career and fantastic girlfriend and first-child-on-the-way are steadily leaving Dean in the dust. Pick one. Pick all of them. The why doesn't matter so much as the what, and the what is this: Dean is pretty sure he's going completely, certifiably insane. Sure, he hasn't started wearing all his clothes inside out, and he still showers on a regular basis (anyways, that's not crazy, just a little eccentric); but there's no getting around the fact that he just threw away his life, his career, and his reputation by dragging out his mom's old necromancy book and summoning a Class A Forbidden Entity to his attic. A cranky one, too. With horrendous bed-head.

dean’s list by almaasi, 3k, canonverse. dean makes a list. short and sweet. i read this so much in 2015 that it literally got engraved into my brain line by line and rereading it caused synapses to fire that havent felt anything in years

Dean writes out a list of men he would go gay for. Sam has a suggestion to make.

💖 the path of fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, post-s8. dean and cas open a charming bed and breakfast in vermont. no, literally. another CLASSIC. i think about the food in this fic all the time...........maple bacon baked french toast......the cinnamon rolls.....it literally sounds so good

After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years.

long nights in cold months by pyrebi, 2.3k, au. dean’s an insomniac and cas works at walmart. i forgot i had this fic ALSO basically memorized. holy shit. pineapple in the fruit aisle.....................anyway it’s short and sweet and the “plot” resolves in such a satisfying way

When you're an insomniac, you get used to the "what the hell are you doing up, man?" look. Dean just hopes the guy who's stocking the shelves will stop giving it to him long enough to help him find some damn pineapple.

incredibly single & ready to mingle by imogenbynight, 3.6k, au. dean and cas meet on facebook. short cute au!!!!!!

Sam uses Facebook like the social media junkie he is. He's befriended literally every person he's ever had a conversation with since he got an account, which means that approximately—Dean checks—eight hours ago, he shared this horrible photo with something in the vicinity of nine hundred people. The caption below the picture reads “incredibly single & ready to mingle ;)” and roughly half of them have liked it.

Dean has never been so embarrassed in his life.

💖 unknown quantities by xylodemon, 8.5k, post-s8. after a post-case tryst, dean has to figure out his and cas’ relationship. human cas fics hold a special place in my heart. funny AND good dean pov AND a misunderstanding that i actually think works!!!!!

No one ever tells Dean anything.

(or: Dean Winchester and the not-relationship crisis of 2014)

#spn fic #spn #dean x cas #this is horrifically long actually.

28 notes · View notes

seoafin · 4 years ago

Note

BYE I WAS IMMERSED WITH GENSHIN’s STORY PLOT (AND THE FANARTS ON MY TL) WHICH WAS ALSO DROPPED EARLIER THIS MORNING AND FORGOT ABT JJK FOR A SPLIT SEVONDSJJSJEJ

but anyways ,, jjk 145// the more i write abt it, the more i’ll sound incoherent, this is ur last warning to ignore this 🧍‍♂️(1)

the one who is based on avalokitesvara (i’ll start calling it them as kannon from now) that i mentioned was actually brain (out of ppl) 😭😭

kenjaku (羂索) is shorten from "不空羂索観音 (fukukenjakukannon)" ,, they existed b4 the heian period... older then sukuna ?? suggested that brain is at least 1k years old... hsjsjjsjs

fukukenjakukannon, a manifestation of the buddhist god of mercy and compassion,, perhaps of some interest is that the fukukenjaku shares some kanji with gojou's infinite void followed by kanjis for trap & rope, with kannon directly referring to an all-knowing/overseeing divine existence. it rly does seem that kenjaku, tengen, and gojou's fates have all been strongly interwined throughout history,, kannon has been perceived as both male and female depending on the portrayal and the region, not unlike jjk's kenjaku switching bodies and genders over the course of time (kamo vs kaori vs getou)

some associations with kannon may be relevant to jjk. namely, as yuki mentions, salvation ,, kannon is a deity to serve his subjects, and resolve their suffering by eliminating its source,,, in which case, i think kenjaku's goal may possibly not be too far off from geto’s ,,,,, he may think that he is saving a group that is enduring greater suffering than any other. whether that is shamans, cursed spirits, or sth else entirely is up for debate. given his persistence over the millenia, and the likelihood of spreading suffering worldwide through a universal tengen merger, it's more than likely that he has a very personal motive. note that under his plan it is specifically the evil of a human that would spread and destroy all of humankind connected through tengen

this is an interesting contrast to sukuna, who is much more whimsical and far less calculated. i think the clash between these 2 in the past will have strong relevance for the future,,, on the other hand, since kannon has historically manifested in response to the suffering of various beings, it may be that the feelings of cursed spirits as a whole have led to kenjaku's existence. he could very well be a curse born from curses, instead of from humans.

okay now what i'm really excited abt: the relationship between kenjaku and the 6 eyes. 1 of the functions of kannon is to protect the 6 realms of rebirth/the 6 paths. u may already be familiar with this buddhist concept as it has been referenced in a variety of animanga (notably it is a major plot point of naruto, it's mukuro's ability in KHR, etc.). there's strong reason to believe this concept also has connections to the gojou 6 eyes ability. i think if we get to learn more abt the 6 eyes, i may be able to speak more on this point.

(as a side note here, i’ll mention that there’s an association between kannon and the protection of aborted children, perhaps relating to og kamo and the death paintings)

at the very least, we know that kenjaku and the 6 eyes are in opposition, and i'm speculating that the gojou bloodline is the true manifestation of a protective deity, at least for the humans, and kenjaku's goals are antithetical to that,,, perhaps, as yuki kind of suggested, taking the name kenjaku is a joke of sorts. if sukuna is malevolence incarnate, kenjaku is mercilesness,,

i think some of the core concepts being explored by the tengen storyline are that of form and existence. gojou satoru, tengen, kenjaku, and eventually the star plasma vessels are existences that transcend the norm,,, toji on the other hand, is the only example of the opposite. an existence that shouldn't have ever existed, in a sense. kenjaku seemed to have used that to his advantage in his manipulation of the events in hidden inventory,,, but it also leads me to believe that only a similar anomaly could undo the new destiny he's setting up for himself.

geto was the perfect piece to set kenjaku up for success in conducting a merger and putting this culling game into motion. geto's path has led to this outcome,,, in which case, an apt parallel as we have known all along is that gojou's path should lead to the counter-outcome: megumi, yuuta, and especially yuuji— these 3 will be the key to unravelling kenjaku's plan.

also tengen said that kenjaku’s objective is to send all the ppl in jpn to higan or turning all non shamans into one but he doesnt have enough cursed energy to do that,,, i did say that yuuji’s birthday took place in the 4th solar term where a part of a week long celebration haru no higan (higan 彼岸→other shore, buddhist pārāmitā), when ppl would honour the dead and sweep ancestral tombs took place,,,

so theres this buddhist mantra, called the “heart sutra” and the last verse of the sutra is,,

there are many sutras in buddhism, but the most well-known among them is probably the Heart Sutra,, altho it depends on the sect (of buddhism), the heart sutra is often read at funerals and memorial services, so even if,, and for some reason the sutra is often associated to kannon even in the utube thumbnail 👁👁 if u search up prajnaparamita sutra,,

heart sutra has the meaning of "an important teaching to reach the state of enlightenment by the power to see through the truth and essence." which is based on the idea of "void" as this important teaching,, the sutra tells us what we shld do to be free from the suffering of this world and live in peace,, in the heart sutra, the idea of "void" is especially important.

buddhism can be broadly divided into theravada and mahayana buddhism,,,,

theravada is a teaching that only some ppl (those who practice buddhism with strict lifestyle like the monks) reach the state of enlightenment, while mahayana is a teaching that all ppl (some who practice Buddhism) can reach enlightment even if u dont practice anything related to the religion,,, the idea of the void has the idea of not being caught up in individual things and not being obsessed with it, and the idea of heart sutra belongs to the category of mahayana buddhism

"void" does not mean "empty" but "no substance (no fixed shape)". the sutra also states that "everything keeps changing" and "although it keeps changing, the essence (core) of things remains the same."

for eg, the idea is, "i am me, no matter how old i am,, my appearance and various abilities deteriorate, how I am evaluated by others, whether i feel good or bad."

in other words,,, it’s a teaching to be aware of the essence without being caught up in the phenomenon of change.

"void" means "no substance (no fixed shape)", which means that u don't have to be obsessed with things or get caught up in one value.

eg, the reason why diamonds are beautiful is that diamonds arent beautiful from the beginning, but that humans decide that they’re beautiful,,, and that each person has a fixed evaluation of the movement of their hearts that they feel is beautiful. but thats not always the case right?

the last verse goes like this :

“Therefore, Prajna Paramita is known as the most divine mantra,

the great enlightening mantra,

the utmost mantra,

the incomparable mantra,

destroyer of all suffering!

Since what is true is not in vain, listen to the mantra of the Prajna Paramita– it goes like this:

GATE GATE PARA GATE PARASAM GATE BODHI SVAHA!”

the translation of the last line is: “going, going, going on beyond, always going on beyond, always becoming buddha.”

quoted from a web here : “it suggests movement toward awakening. It expresses the enlightenment of a buddha as an unfolding process, rather than a steady state. It puts us in the hopeful position of one who may not have arrived, but who may be on the way. The destination may not be an end, but the journey itself.

As appealing as this translation is, it is by no means the only one. When you do an Internet search for the terms “Heart Sutra” or “Prajna Paramita” you get numerous references. At these various pages you will find several different translations of the mantra. These include:

* Gone, gone, gone beyond, gone altogether beyond. Oh what an awakening! All hail!

* Gone, gone, gone beyond altogether beyond, Awakening, fulfilled!

* Gone, gone, gone to the Other Shore, attained the Other Shore having never left.

* Gone, gone, totally gone, totally completely gone, enlightened, so be it.

* “Oh, you have done! You have done! You have completely crossed the margin. This is Enlightenment! Congratulations!” “

the irony though of toji dying thinking that he should've stuck his principles but actually having ridiculous impact on the world,, this also puts a new spin on the "look upon the flesh of one who is free" (afaik it was left untranslated on his cover page when he invade dagon’s domain) and the implication is imo,,, the more cursed energy, the more restrictions and so in a way humanity goes into a devolution the more cursed energy there is because they will be bound even more tightly to the cycle than before,, which is the irony of the kenjaku & bodhisattva linkage

toji had a heavenly restriction and has zero cursed energy, which is an anomaly that is his own, which makes me wonder what he would've been like if he had an expressed technique,,, but it's the zero cursed energy part, that uniqueness, that makes him powerful in canon

im rly curious how having cursed power automatically seems to lock u into a binding,,, which is seemingly fate. the shaman world rly operates entirely on rules,, where this is because of tengen's barriers or the origin of techniques being more commonplace im not sure

i used to think CTs came abt when individual sorcerers made pacts with supernatural beings etc but now im not sure,, despite leaning hard on shinto and buddhist frameworks there isnt much overt indication over what is and is not a real power in canon,,, like we have mahoraga but are bodhisattvas assumed to be real and exist? or as figures of belief, are they and other figures of shinto mythology, all just cursed spirits in the end?

but that tengen is linked with the proliferation of 6 eyes and star plasma vessel, makes me start wondering how and why tengen started this whole barrier thing,, like yes jpn has a ton of cursed spirits but was it before or after the barrier i can't remember now

maybe Kenjaku was messing around too much back then,, i like how sukuna also maybe had very lil to do with this and is possibly going to interfere as a wild card once more. is the idea to use him as a hail mary so u convey more ppl to the other side all at once? unless kenjaku thinks sukuna is the person who got closest to the next evolution of humankind and is actually a fan 🥴

but yeah if sukuna and megumi can remake the world together can they just hit the reset button so tengen isn't somehow this massive jungian collective unconscious? is sukuna going to accidentally save the world lol,,, i didn't care for fate themes before since it felt like akutami hadn't wholly committed to it as a theme,,, but fate and collective responsibility/influence on the individual just became a much bigger theme

also the mind/body/soul thing with tengen,,, when is that idea coming back

so tengen and sukuna are so far the only ppl who have said to have evolved into curses, whereas kenjaku still seems to be a shaman, as well as angel. what catalyzes that??

also how tf are the cursed weapons made i have questions,, just putting it out here but i actually thought that if toji, presumably, didnt rebel and defected from the clan,,, what are the chances of zenin thinking of turning him into a cursed weapon lol

,,, does being a cursed spirit mean u are bound even more tightly to fate? or do u escape because u are no longer a human bound by ur technique and u are instead just energy that keeps cycling over and over.....cursed energy rly just karma with strength mechanics???

why did gojou get rid of the black rope only for yuuta go to find more??? seems contradictory,, like...did he exorcise sth in that couple years gap?? or were there other reasons? or is HE the one scared since he also hid the inverted spear of heaven,,, makes me wonder how common knowledge all these mechanics actually are

trying to wrap my head around potential megumi learned helplessness or not being able to work through his own problems, or if it's this weird backward wishing that he didn't HAVE to deal with problems if he didn't HAVE to do these things and there were simple solutions,,, like i don't think he's exactly lazy bc he seems to do a lot of work behind the scenes, but there's a certain stasis to him, a wishing not to know. i wonder if he was ever given the "u are a child and I'm the adult" speech nanami gave yuuji

nanami, qifrey and maybe reigen are the adult/ mentor figures i wish was/ is in my life orz

i think it's kind of funny how 145 is like suddenly christianity! this manga is just abt the many ways people seek freedom and want to be delivered,,,

but im not going to talk abt it 😔 — i only have lil to no knowledge abt it other than the lil trivias my friends dropped time to time whenever we’re having a discourse abt religion suddenly lmao and im not a big fan of talking abt things idk abt bc i’ll just look stupid otherwise LMAO

its interesting to note that christian have this uh for a lack of better way to describe it, higher power which can grant u eternal salvation or damnation while buddhism is just fending for urself in pursuit of enlightment ,,, while buddhism also have beings like devas/ deities it just means that 1) if ur born as one, u must have done a good deed sometime in one of ur previous lives,, 2) u just have a ridiculous long life span but yes u’ll eventually die again and rebirth as sth depending on ur actions,,, that goes for living in gods, demi-gods, humans, animals, hungry ghosts or hells realms

this is completely unrelated but,, my mother used to blast the heart sutra frequently in my house back then and the only thing i catch is the “gate gate parasamgate bodhi svaha” which i used ,, whenever i see sth..that is supposed to be unseen

theres this time i stayed behind in cram school for an exam,, i purposely took a another path from my usual one to clear my head (but im still familiar) and i saw this guy standing on the side road and the only thing that went thru my mind back them was “why is he not moving? is he waiting for someone? is he lost or sth,, the main road is just 6 foot away tho lol”

it was until i keep looking at each house that i finally notice that the spot he stood on is not even a ground lvl asphalt,, it’s a fucking sewer which means that he’s actually floating 😭😭 i just jogged and say sth along the line “wow today, ma is cooking hotpot for dinner (i actually have no idea what she plans to cook everyday) i dont want to eat it cold,, so i better hurry up” out loud while chanting the verse in my head

theres also this time me and a friend were sitting on my motorcycle after getting our late night food run until a particular smell and when we stay silent, a woman is singing on the branch right above us that we dipped right away and i almost catch a ticket for speeding all the while thinking abt that verse💀

i dont mind seeing one of “them” but i do have a problem with them following me back home and end up haunting my house for some period of time,, that one or sth ghost who slam things around and giggle in the middle of the night is enough for me to deal with 😀

now im off crying abt genshin (again) now and i’ll go back to sleep afterwards,,, ALSO I LOVE WITCH HATE ATALIERJSJEJEJ- 🐱 (2)

you literally brought up THE SAME EXACT QUESTIONS I HAVE!!! like why would gojo send yuuta to find more of the rope if he destroyed it in the first place?? unless he destroyed it in the heat of the battle with miguel during the prequel but it didn’t look like that. also i saw on twitter kenjaku might not even be a male?? apparently when referring to kenjaku, tengen didn’t use gendered pronouns. im also super curious as to how the six eyes, star plasma vessel (riko...), tengen, and kenjaku are all entwined because kenjaku’s plan was a long time coming, even though he was foiled two times already.

this reminds me of the heavenly restrictions because im still so confused about what exactly it is!! is it something a person is born with or is it something that is placed on a baby by another person??

you brought up fate too and i think that’s such an interesting concept like with akutami making more and more references to the heian era and the “golden age of sorcery” in the end I feel like everything led up to this moment. the existence of cursed energy too just feels like this “endless cycle of fate” which makes sense considering this theme also kinda aligns with yuuji’s birth which was pre planned. idk...this whole thing is suddenly feeling so much more insidious than we may have originally thought.

the sudden christianity mention is a pretty odd choice on akutami’s part but a lot of ppl (including me) are speculating that hana is going to be a harbinger of doom or something. once again is she even japanese?? the western concept of angels have never been particularly altruistic either.

unfortunately gojo has always been treating megumi like an adult so i don’t think he was ever given the “you are a child” talk from gojo. we can see it in their first meeting too. when their conversation takes a turn to serious, it becomes a conversation is from one adult to another. gojo also seems like the type to pile even more responsibility onto megumi because gojo isn’t responsible, so megumi had to pick up that slack.

i agree with you. i think sukuna is literally a wild card LMAO he does what he wants when he wants and that’s in. i don’t even think you can have a contingency plan for sukuna because he’s just that unpredictable!!!

nanami, qifrey and MAYBE reigen LSDNFKJFKN....reigen beats gojo by far though so i’ll give reigen that (that's not saying much tho tbh 😭) reigen's still sexy as hell tho 😁

also you mentioned khr!! khr is one of my favorite mangas of all time....although amano akira cannot write women despite being one khr still holds a very special place in my heart. i had no idea mukuro was influenced by kannon (to be fair i was like 14) but then again...mukuro’s eyes....i can’t believe our tastes in animanga are the same....bestie our taste>>>

HELLO???? YOU’RE RUNNING INTO SUPERNATURAL CREATURES LIKE THAT??? also motorcycles!! now im like 80% sure you're in SEA somewhere, bc as someone who lived in a SEA country for 3 years and went to school in a haunted building I feel you LMAO

#as always....you truly never miss!!!!#and witch hat atelier is sooo good #i love qifrey....white haired anime man of my heart!!!#🐱 anon #all ur analyses are MWAH

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sun-daddy-yoriichi · 5 years ago

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May i request a love triangle between Yoriichi and Muzan? You can write anything abt it i’m just curious how that would go :)

Ooh? Sounds interesting! I’ll do my best~

Not sure if you wanted polyamory or not, so I just did what seemed to be correct? A relationship between Yoriichi and Muzan seems interesting, at least to me.

▃▃▃

Warning(s) : Spoilers, polygamy if that helps at all, I sure hope this gets weird

Muzan Kibutsuji x Reader x Yoriichi Tsugikuni : Love Triangle (Headcanons)

Let’s start this out by saying it would be a VERY awkward love triangle at first.

Yoriichi and Muzan have zero chemistry. Muzan wants to rule the world or smth, and Yoriichi’s job is to kill Muzan and demons in general. Not exactly two sides of the spectrum that you would want to mix.

They would have killed each other a long time ago, had it not been for their S/O begging them to stop.

Their S/O, of course, would be caught in the middle. If they’re not trying to kill each other every other minute, they’re vying for their attention in the most subtle ways.

Yoriichi, of course, has the advantage of being able to walk in the sun, so he always uses this to get closer to them

Would totally rub this in Muzan’s face

Muzan, however, would always use his money and good looks to his advantage. Constantly buys gifts and paying for fancy meals. With him, their S/O doesn’t even have to worry about wanting anything. If they look at anything for just a little too long, it’ll be bought without a second thought.

Sugar daddy Muzan lmao

Sooner or later, they fall into routine with one another. Yoriichi usually spends time with their S/O during the day, while Muzan takes them out at night, before bringing her home.

But the harmony between them isn’t weird. They don’t even have to see each other, just their S/O.

It’s when Yoriichi and Muzan actually begin working together that would worry someone.

It would take a while, sure, but eventually they would get used to one another. At least, enough to see each other without immediately triggering their Fight or Flight response.

It starts small. Sideways glances and gently spoken words of greeting, or farewell.

They don't talk about one another at first. Nothing that would actually call for them to have a strong emotional relationship. Their S/O was their main concern at all times.

But let's be honest. Muzan is a spoiled brat and can't have one thing without having the other.

Not that he particularly likes Yoriichi, but nothing about him screams 'off-limits' so

It's free real-estate

The minute the Demon King of Pop starts courting both humans, it's over for you bitches.

Will ABSOLUTELY try to convince sun daddy and S/O to become demons. While you could refuse, he has all the time in the world to convince both of them.

Plus, getting rid of Yoriichi also means getting rid of his biggest threat.

This would probably be after Yorriichi showed the Kamados his Breathing techniques, so that bitch still gonna die eventually.

Convincing his S/O to become a demon is one thing. Convincing Yoriichi is an entirely different sport.

Though, if their S/O agreed that it would be the best idea if it meant all three of them could be together, then holy fuck he would say yes so fast. There's nothing he wouldn't do for them, even if Muzan is some greasy ass Demon King.

(Not apart of the hcs but I bet Yoriichi would be a pretty demon. Not like Daki pretty, because Daki is gorgeous in her own right. Like, 'he'll scorch your eyeballs out just with his looks if you're not at the same level as him' pretty. A scary kind of pretty).

Their S/O would definitely be the prettiest demon to them. Muzan made sure to share plenty of his blood so that they turned out strong (far stronger than any of the Upper Demon Moons, but he doesn't want them lifting a single finger for anything).

No doubt that their S/O would still be hauntingly deadly, even as a freshly born demon.

Yoriichi wouldn't be able to hurt any humans, anyways. He feels a strong sense of injustice about being the one to shed blood, though doesn't mind eating them. Food for the machine, right?

If you thought Muzan would be indulgent on knowing every aspect of his lover's lives, you would be correct. He doesn't have much else to do, after all.

Being with both of these men require their S/O to be okay with sitting in one of their laps at all times. Period. End of story.

Muzan thinks his S/O is the most precious demon to ever walk the planet, if he's not busy making heart eyes at Yoriichi for being scorchingly gorgeous.

Muzan has a thing for stunningly beautiful beings, I'm sure.

(This got really long for no reason so I gotta wrap it up)

Overall, if the perfect chain of events were to play out, the results would be this :

A very lovely, but very deadly, demon family, in which none of them would hesitate to rip off someone's head if need be.

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0ystercatcher · 4 years ago

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But what is the problem with women criticizing birth control as being patriarchal? I’ve always disagreed w/ you about this but I just saw you bring it up again and I’m not understanding your points

oh i have 0 issues with women criticizing birth control, theres many things abt it that are criticizable and i encourage women to speak out abt those. I just do not think that birth control having the flaws often brought up inherently makes it partriarchal or, the way ive seen it phrased, "patriarchy personified". i also dont think sying "birth control is poison" is a fair critique of its v real problems. to be clear, im talking abt hormonal birth control, w more focus on the pill bc thats what i know most about/have more experience with, but afaik some of this applies to non hormonal methods as well.

My point here is that any critique on birth control, the way it was created and the way it exists today, cannot be disconnected from the society we live in (capitalist, patriarchal, racist, etc.) as well as the effects BC has had in it. I know the history of it is horrible and fucked up and i wish it wasnt, but this is not something we can change at this point, so it seems useless to me to veto BC based on that. I also understand (and agree!) when women criticize the way BC is over-prescribed and treated as a "cure all" by doctors in some countries, thats just bad medicine, smth we are subjected to too often. Also, yes, the way BC - like many other things related to medicine related to the female body specifically - has been left aside and not "updated" or improved on in any particularily significant ways (can we get fucking rid of those insane side effects please??) is annoying and another symptom of a society that undermines our health issues. Like, even though weve developed other non hormonal methods of BC, they are bound to the same limtations medicine for women has had for decades, ie little research, little understanding of our endocrine systems, little funding, little care for womens health, etc. These are absolutely consequences of a patriarchal world in which we are not seen as equally human, but under that logic we'd have to start arguing that all of womens medicine developed until now is "patriarchy personified" and "poisonous" and while theres def some points to be made wrt those ideas, its honestly a useless critique of them and leads us nowhere. Like, what, do we restart womens medicine from scratch? Whats the next step after "birth control is patriarchal". I also dont think its fair to act like BC is patriarchal bc men can use it to control us, in terms of, treating it as an expectation women need to carry out with while in a relationship, or taking advantage of it to pressure women to have unprotected sex. That is not a problem inherent in BC, its men grasping at every chance they get to treat and use women like objects. So like, what next??

Even though women have been (up until fairly recently basically) left aside by modern medical, anatomical research, etc., and what little exists of those useful discoveries and medicine can be used as Tools for men to maintain power over us, are some of those advances made still....not useful? Because they were developed in a patriarchal society? Organ transplants were developed w some pretty questionable ethics and still have fairly high risks and can also be used as a source of profit, and yet despite that i think the conclusion isnt "organ transplants r unethical and will kill you", bc they have saved millions of lives. I know its not the closest comparison but my point is, despite everything surrounding it, its undeniable to say BC has had incredibly positive effects on women as a whole, despite neglected individual side effects and a poor understanding of why it affects some women badly and not others (which as i said is connected to systemic issues that arent unique to BC). BC can have shit side effects, a pretty vile history, and yet it can still be responsible for allowing women to join the workforce like never before giving us so much more independance in society, and be able to control when, how and how many (if any) children to have. That alone is something women have never been able to do at this scale, this accurately, ever before in history. Unwanted pregnancies and maternal mortality plummet after BC becomes accesible in p much every country (tbf i dont think its the sole factor but its definitely one of them lmao). You can argue it can be and has been used as a tool for the patriarchy (and lets not forget, capitalism), but thats always going to be the case with every form of birth control or family planning method ever, just because we still live in a sexist misogynistic society and as such just saying "BC bad bc patriarchy" is just...kind of useless criticism and stating smth obvious.

And really, what are the alternatives. Do we go off BC just to one up men who will still exploit us whether we do or we dont? Do we need to go back to tracking our natural cycles to avoid pregnancy just so men start taking responsibility and magically stop "accidentally" getting us pregnant bc they dont want a kid theyre not going to bear anyways? Didnt dworkin write a whole book abt how doing that kinda shit just does not work out for us?? Should we rely on men to always wear condoms and act like stealthing isnt a massive, horribly common problem? Like, lmao, im not abt to act like BC is "feminist" or whatever bc thats dumb and a useless thing to say, but the reality simply is that BC has allowed millions of women around the world a chance to decide and stay true to their life plans, its lifted the weight and a lot of the fear of a potentially unplanned, maybe even forced pregnancy on sexually active women. For many of us, it has put the power to keep ourselves from having babies in our hands instead of in mens. Doesnt that get us a few steps closer to yknow, the big feminist goal of body autonomy for all women?? I just dont think its fair to take a very reasonable and necessary convo of "BC needs to be improved along w our knowledge of womens health" and turn it into "BC is patriarchal bc men can take advantage of it". The latter is just not BC's fault, as usual its just men treating us like objects lmao.

#m #tldr i have a lot of problems w people randomly being like BC is toxic shit like your individual experience is enough to do away #w all the things bc has allowed women to do #im all for discussing side effects and being open abt the way its shit that it can really fuck your body up #but the benefits far outweight its problems imho #it still needs improvement tho. all of womens medicine does lol #sorry if typos or grammar im tired and dont wanna proofread editr more

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delbeugre · 5 years ago

Text

Have you seen SADIE BEUGRE? DEL is in HER/THEIR SENIOR year. The MATHEMATICS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE/THEY are GRITTY, BEWITCHING, RETICENT and WASPISH. Rumors say they’re a member of HASTINGS. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE BIT AN EX-BOYFRIEND’S PINKY FINGER OFF AFTER SHE FOUND OUT HE CHEATED, AND THEN HAPPILY SERVED TIME FOR IT.

im tommy im a freak and of course i am here to get freakalicious with u all... this is my newest frankenstein type creation named sadie i know .02% about her yet but i am more than confident she will b nothing but a fun time! like this if ur down to plot!

TW: VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF JAIL/PROSECUTION, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, DRUG USE

BACKSTORY

capricorn sun / virgo moon / scorpio rising

raised by her uncle Big (his name) who is a hermit shut in town local in the depths of the florida marshland like some goosebumps protagonist. hes gone far past socially acceptable in terms of his ability to connect with the modern person but is wise beyond belief... his whole vibe is a warped cross between a cryptid and a mountain man that forages and cooks neighborhood plants. married for 27 years before his wife passed from illness. its quite possibly the only thing hes ever been emotional about

but dels entry to his life throws a wrench in his sadness (despite abandonment being what they bond over). she takes the focus away from his loss with her presence; her dad, his brother, died in a tragic train-car collision around the same time (which is speculated to be a suicide bt nobody can ever really be sure). he was a single parent so her custody is thrown up in the air for a few months as cps decides what they r gna do with this freshly orphaned little scrapper

she just kinda turns up on his doorstep n from there they cohabit a space. shes arnd 6-7 at this time... big never seemed to b phased by the fact tht she was a child n tended to treat her more like an apprentice or guest. he was never close to her father because of their age difference, being the older out of the two, so to have his daughter become his responsibility is just..... weird

this doesnt mean that he wouldnt provide for her bt it was. not very parental whatsoever.... no conversation or interaction beyond what was necessary. she was a mute fr a while and still is? to a degree.... very short spoken

when she got to her preteens he offered her an allowance in exchange for little odds and ends of stuff to be taken care of around the house. errands n all tht.... sometimes he wld purposefully leave things for her to pick up n take care of without mentioning it for a bonus. taught her the importance of saving your money and the horrid corruptness of a society basing everythings worth off paper. big exposed her to a lot of knowledge and took advantage of her silent curiosity by fueling it with books, homeschooling, life skills (catching a fish, setting a trap, knowing your berries in the woods...... the works)

her teens carried out the same way bt with the introduction of a real job, a spot down at the local butcher shop checking people out at the register and helping around the back of house. del knows a great deal abt cow/pig/chicken/etc anatomy from her years here..... she committed to being 100% vegan into her early twenties because of her trauma frm this occupation

it paid very well tho n was the best gig she was going to get within a reasonable biking route from home. so she settled!

the plan wasnt to keep it up for long anyway. she worked rly hard for her spot at yates and didnt intend to ever screw herself over. her plan was to get her bachelors, masters, become a professor, pursue a personal hobby of agriculture and build an elaborate greenhouse to live in

bt things happen.....

some 35yr old douche with a green thumb woos her at a gardening store n swoops in to teach her a little more abt romance; all of this, of course, under the guise that he had all these tips and tricks for living environmentally friendly. a lame hippie wannabe that shouldve never even approached her bt alas.... he did

love is a touchy subject n it hadnt been something she set her sights on, but she was interested in wht this dude could teach her n at 19 she ended up falling in love. she delayed her education to stay an extra year back home and work out another plan which included him

this was very disappointing to her uncle bt he didnt have anything to say abt it. it was never parental before n it was never going to be, so this was another lesson she wld just have to overcome on her own

it turns out that she doesnt care for infidelity. when the confession comes out its met with a lot of screaming, bawling, blistering white hot anger. the whole incident is blacked out of her mind to b honest....

matters of the heart are no longer something to concern herself with because of the repercussions of her rash behavior regarding heartbreak O________O she spent a year in jail n still has to attend therapy / anger management meetings

deep down she is still hurting. there was a lot of pain... bt the sadness is not over the loss of some noob. she is in a state of constant disappointment, detaching from herself out of shame. putting her own life on pause only for it to turn out like that? stupid stupid stupid...

PERSONALITY

chugging along! tldr spectre-like swamp nymph aura with the slightest (not so slight) unhinged feral tendencies

delicate like a moth resting in the gleam of a flashlight.... her anger singes her wings when shes too comfortable staying in one place, so theres always constant stimulation, always shifting gears. shes prone to feeling threatened; that being said, sadie is wary of walking in crowds, a little bit skittish when approached without making eye contact beforehand. like a small grey kitten..... in a big wide world

has a hard time keeping a conversation bt is very interested in debate, and even more so in studying alongside someone in complete silence. it reminds her of home in the same sense tht her uncle wld nudge her to keep reading by always having his own book open

doesnt have many friends and is alright with that. rumors are tht she is still a virgin bt who really knows? not i...... bt i wldnt be surprised if this was true. shes not impressed by people nor material items so this whole yates crowd is a turn off

she is truly clueless when it comes to how to behave around anyone her age. i think she understands but it just doesnt compute. she could come off as impolite bt it is just standoffishness? some people cld try to crack her but i dont think even she knows what that would be, or what that would look like. even in her one (1) failed relationship it was never deep heart to hearts or sharing dinner..... solitude is her realm

del is very comfortable with herself, very open with her wardrobe! doesnt leave too much to the imagination? she appreciates the human experience n expresses that thru this whole “body is a temple” type thing.... not quite confidence, but proudness of being. has gotten multiple notices frm professors for her tops being too sheer, nylons too ratted up, etc. has dirt under her fingernails half the time, chipped polish, some chapstick. smudges her eyeshadow on with her fingers

doesnt smoke cigarettes all too often but is dependent on weed. it kinda perpetuates her paranoid demeanor bt at the same time it keeps her lax enough to be able to mentally handle city life

her room is a playground for huge monstera plants, christmas cacti, ivy creeping along the doorway. she sleeps on a tiny thin mattress on the floor with a linen sheet and has her books stacked up on the ground next to it to hold her ashtray. the whole thing is dumb empty

takes her studies seriously and pinches every penny she can..... she has never ordered herself a coffee frm somewhere before, ordered food frm a restaurant... nothing. i wld think the most she would branch out from harvesting everything on her own is buying a bag of sunflower seeds frm a gas station, but even then, she much prefers eating stuff she grows herself. has a tomato plant, some basil beginning to sprout, etc.... manageable crops for any college students tiny space

...

bt yea thats it thats all! connections cld be all over the place. im legit open to anything. theres only a few tht come to mind right off that bat:

a few people that get along with her? same classes? they shared a bowl n now theyre getting into the nitty gritty of some personal conversation that is veering into no mans land....

some sort of clueless makeover moment? arent rly into sadie as a person bt see a lot of potential... perhaps need a plus one to a party on the fly and figure thats the best option theyve got

crushes? this wld be fun n potentially dangerous! like playing with a hot cast iron pan or something :)

again im vry new to rp so i wld like to leave a lot of stuff up to chemistry, brainstorming n stuff like that, but please consider everything on the table! what i hav mentioned is the tip of the iceberg im so burnt out n i wrote a lot more than i intended to i am so sorry but i promise i am friendly

#yatesintro #/tw implied violence #/tw death mention #/tw drug use #/tw jail mention

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21ate · 5 years ago

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do you ever think about how a mostly overlooked part of komaeda as a character is the fact that he has frontotemporal dementia, which can damage an individuals emotional responses, personality, and actions? like... it explains a lot abt his actions in game and makes udg hurt more cuz like. a lot of what they do to the servant is just? taking advantage of that? i am in pain

hmmm…

well first i just wanna say i wouldnt really consider the situation between the warriors of hope and komaeda as them taking advantage of him really? cause for one thing, komaeda was an adult by that time (or at least close to adulthood)…and the woh are children

if anything, komaeda was the one taking advantage of the children by teaming up with monaca and forcing the game to continue, which he only did as a means to serve his own twisted beliefs about hope and despair

and this couldve easily been among his worst offenses as a remnant of despair given that we’re initially led to believe that the woh komaru defeats were killed as a result (i.e.: executed)…but like, as it turns out, they all survived. so ?? 1 point for komaeda there, but -99 points since his involvement is directly tied to the WOH’s demon hunting game. people still died, and a lot of em at that

but anyways back to your point about his dementia lmao

yes ive thought about it before and currently, im torn about whether i believe komaeda was telling the truth or not tbh?

i dont doubt that komaeda is mentally ill in some way, but yknow, the confession regarding this topic is scrutinized as possibly being a lie by hajime (especially as komaeda goes on to say he had just read about it in a book)

like obviously i cant take even THAT at face value because when having to separate lies from facts as part of analyzing a character like komaeda, i dont think it makes sense to try and pin down the “real truth” at all anyways? because for one thing, unless there is explicit and intentionally wrote in evidence to prove a statement wrong, it may as well be quite literally impossible to determine what the real truth is since we dont know every single detail that went into kodaka’s story

that being said, there does seem to be proof that komaeda has problems of course - but also that his problems and he as a character himself are not meant to be seen as inherently bad or evil just because he’s suffering from something. i mean idk what else im supposed to take away from how his arc concludes - he and the other remnants actually get to redeem themselves and become better people. part of the hardship of such a thing is having to grapple with the cruelties of not just the world around you, but also your own perception and thinking and behavior

whether komaeda has frontotemporal dementia specifically kinda doesnt matter to me because the subtext is enough to consider him neurodivergent and trying to cope, and his character arc doesnt end up demonizing him for it i think

and dont get me wrong i used to feel like having that label among the other tidbits of information about komaeda was like essential knowledge and it still is, but NOT because of its specificity necessarily. rather, the fact that komaeda would potentially LIE about having the condition or the lymphoma or whatever…and then knowing all the other undeniably traumatic shit we can for certain say happened thanks to dr3 - all that right there leads me to the same conclusion anyways without having to think too hard about the implications of komaeda having that specific diagnosis. theres just no way id ever believe it if someone claimed komaeda isnt mentally ill…a person cant go thru the amount of trauma he has and come out unscathed, yknow?

so yeah i AM in pain over komaeda because he’s certainly gone through the wringer his entire life and thats what shaped his beliefs and behavior…but behind all that pain is his genuine kindness and humanity and willingness to befriend hajime and the rest as they work towards creating a better future not for some third party’s best interest but THEIR OWN…and thats incredibly important to remember too

#dr blogging #danganronpa #komaeda nagito

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sanchoyo · 5 years ago

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Mira, Aqua, Persimmon 🍄🍂 Also 🌼 for Cara

Aohhohoho thank you sm I’m so excited to talk abt my kids

🍄 What are your OCs favourite snacks? Their favourite comfort food which always cheers them up when they’re down? Favourite meal to make? Do they enjoy baking and cooking and are they any good in the kitchen?

mira: she loves sweets!! her fav snacks are any kind of tiny cakes or soft, creamy kinds of candies (she isnt rly huge on hard candy) her comfort food is def like, just cake. (since becoming a mew she has random grain/wheat cravings lol) I..think she’s okay in the kitchen? she def has experience bc she always hangs around the cafe, even pre-mew stuff, so a lot of that time is her loitering around in the kitchen with keiichiro jajksdfh

aqua: as a robot she doesn’t really..eat or anything... I think after a while she would ask ryou to make her taste buds and some kind of eating stuff tho? she’d be happy to try anything! I think she’d lean towards cold foods like ice cream bc not only are they yummy, but they keep her system cool x) also, she WOULD be good at cooking, she could just. download cookbooks to her memory banks. altho some of the more delicate stuff like cracking eggs might be hard..she strong

persimmon: her fav earth snack is like. hot chips. her comfort food would prob be an alien dish that would be impossible to recreate on earth which is :( she would not enjoy baking and would 100% be godawful at it, shes never cooked in her life. buuut working at the cafe, she has to stay in the kitchen so customers dont Freak Out abt Alien, so she ...gets better... (lot of dish washing to start...)

🍂 Does your OC enjoy hugs? What do they do as a show of affection for: their friends, their family, their significant other(s) or for strangers? Over all what are they like with recieving affection from others?

mira: huggy, yes hug. do hug. her love language is Making Stuff and verbal praising ppl, like. She will call you cool and make you lil crafts. if she RECEIVES the affection shes quick to get flustered, esp if its a cute girl. she prefers to make the first moves, and gets real red when anyone else does. expect her to hide her face and mumble a ‘thank you’ very quietly

aqua: YES VERY MUCH HUGGY. her affection/love language is very much touch based or just. very affectionate and will do acts of service for ppl she loves and wants to help them as much as possible!! when someone else gives HER affection, shes way more chipper/happy/excitable all day and glowing, like u can see it on her face!! she’ll thank the person very genuinely and try to hug them uwu

persimmon: not really huggy unless shes In The Mood for one, or knows the person well enough. her love language is very much Buying Things and showering people with gifts. she ..isnt very verbal about it unless shes close to the person. or just Spending time tbh means she likes u (on the flip side, if she doesnt shes just very Avoidant) when she recieves affection shes very ‘of COURSE you love me ;)’ confident, borderline arrogant abt it, but secretly she super appreciates it and gets a lil embarrassed? she gets a lot of compliments on her appearance, but if you compliment smth else (like..personality, or smth she actually worked hard on) she’ll like that a lot but brush you off verbally and act a lil nonchalant.

🌼 Who are this characters friends and found family? How did they meet, how long have they been friends for, could they ever be something more than just friends? What do they look for in a friend or a romantic partner?

*aggressively trying to answer this for cara without spoilers...*

okay SO her “”friends”” among the aliens would probably be Arilla (queen’s assistant) Saguaro and Pereskia (two of queen’s top brass) Sapote, and Sapote’s older sister. So, basically, half queen’s crew sort of hates or looks down on her for being The Human, but Pereskia finds that sort of thing irrelevant and is only interested in how strong Cara could potentially be, and happily trains with her (sometimes pushing her way too far :| ) But she considers her..someone to learn from, which is close enough as she’ll let anyone.

Arilla is somewhat protective over Cara as she reminds him of someone and tries to keep her out of trouble (does not succeed) hes got those dad friend instincts tho. but being the extremely uptight professional he is, she takes a while to realize hes been lookin out for her.

Sapote’s sister is actually in charge of the kid’s area on the ship and kinda functions as a babysitter for all the kids, and its kind of become a safe area for Cara to go and just. Decompress. Sapote’s sister is kind of a pushover and cries easily, so Cara more or less..just..demands to be allowed in and the kids do kinda. love her and shes like ‘??? why???’ but. puts up with them (secretly enjoys it)

Sapote very much adores Cara, she sees her as a little sister figure and doesnt CARE if shes human, she wants to tease and protect her bc theyre Both the Mews on Queens side, treated as lab rats, and she wants to take the brunt of that. Cara doesnt really realize how much she and the other aliens who like her protect her until later :)

Saguaro is..a special case. They are pretty heavily indoctrinated into the Deep Blue Worship Cult, so they think humans are divine, being descended from db. So. you can imagine cara is like. hmm. can use this and take a lil advantage. not great but :/ she has a hard time seein any of these people as genuine friends at the start, and she has a really hard time letting people in in general...that wasn’t always the case.

for a romantic partner she has a Type.

:-)

#thank you for asking. i love talking abt Them.#hope this wasnt TOO VAGUE sadjkfk #tm2 #ocs #oc #mira #aqua #persimmon #cara #sanchoyoanswersasks #spectralreplica #mira voice 'why am i craving granola bars and fresh veggies this is bullshit'

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renaer-is-allegedly-hot · 5 years ago

Text

session 10 notes

oh wow yeah the layout of these will just forever be trash now bc it’s a lot of formatting work like a LOT sorry

• Presentation prep

○ Jacob is doing a tier list of every smash character in the world ever

• Apparently picchu was really busted

○ Idk who picchu is tho

○ Peechoo

○ I think it's picchu bc I think I've seen that before

• Are waterbenders ghostbusters

• R we starting

A few my little pony quizzes real quick

• When we last left off

• We were using medallions or whatever to search for stuff

• Broke into the city of the dead

• Were ambushed but interrogated one of them after killing the others

• Adam convinced that one that we chucked the stone

• We let him live but adam took his pants

• Not midnight but it's raining a lot

What are we doing

• As we leave the graveyard adam is getting chains out of george bush and putting it back on the gate

• Nvm we're just gonna follow naya

• Put chains back on

• Squelching through mud

• Make way back w little trouble

○ We were able to set up the stuff?

○ Looks like some ppl r patrolling

○ Still hard to see bc rainy so we haven't been noticed

• Keep following naya

• Make way out safely

• Naya varies the pace every now and then

• Rain dies off later in the night

• Start approaching poorer area of the trade ward; fewer shops and businesses, more poorer housing

• Naya looks like she's leading us towards a windmill in the distance

• Just a towering windmill

• Not much wind so not spinning

• Cel makes perception check at disadvantage, can't see anything

• Naya runs up and stops in front of the windmill then vanishes

○ The second time we used naya's scry power? Maybe? Nvm?

• Does ur wifi ever poop itself

○ Nice

○ Ok I'll just keep sitting here ig

• Ok we're in a dark room and can't hear any sounds of a bloodbath

• There's a door

• Adam puts his ear to see if he can see anything, perception check

○ 8

• Door is solid wood

• Adam opens ground floor door

○ There r two doors

§ One on the side and one on the top

§ Ok we're in the windmill

• Cel pulls out lantern

• Adam opens door and sees a lot of people who look like they're sleeping on the floor

○ 5ish

○ Look like squatters

• Adam rolls 22 perception to see if he recognizes anyone, no one looks familiar

• Sneak by them ? Try to ?

• Adam can see another door that goes further in

• Adam snaps tiny flame on finger and rest of us follow the flame

• We walk over to next door

• Not locked

• Quietly go through

• Asyna is going to stay in the first room w ppl to watch them

○ In case they wake up / as guard

○ "hehe . Shillelagh"

○ "whack 'em with your 'forget-me' stick"

• Proposition for asyna to pretend she's sleeping

• Enter next room, just as dark as other

○ A few doors leading to left and right in front of us

○ In distance can see more people sleeping but only two

○ Looks empty

○ Lights lantern

• Adam pokes head through closest door

○ There's just more people

○ Strategy to burn entire building will not work

○ Cel can't tell if anyone looks like they're armed

• Do I want banana bread

• Going to peek into all the rooms

• Every room marked w2 has ppl sleeping

• What's happening in w3

• "so I look outside bc I heard somebody blasting despacito… there's a pickup truck towing a boat and there's a bunch of teenagers on it raving" - dom, 2020

• W3 is a wc a water closet as in a bathroom

• W4 is a closet w some cleaning stuff and grains

• Some ppl have woken up but they don't bother to like really watch us suspiciously

• Upstairs we go

• Three doors leading out of the room but also a large millstone in the center of the room

• Under debris, soaking wet from a hole in the ceiling

• Adam tries to move debris

• Cel rolls 15 perception, can't hear anything

○ Adam rolls nat1 and the stone resists adam's efforts

○ Technically a 0

• What's behind door w6

○ Caved in sections

○ Floor littered w bird droppings

○ Adam investigates "that's a 12 for eggs dominic"

○ There are eggs but they are fertilized eggs

○ Adam has to b careful

§ Gently picks up pigeon egg

§ "I have a plan if combat starts"

§ Adam is now carrying a pigeon egg

• What's in w8?

○ W7 first

○ W7 is locked

○ Adam tries the key; theo makes perception check first

§ Nat1 so can't hear anything

§ Adam tries the key

□ "I'm gonna stick that key into the lockhole"

□ It doesn't fit

§ 14, can't unlock

§ Aerana tries, 22

§ Lock clicks open

§ Cel peers inside

□ There's an open window, the room is cold

□ There's a door leading into a separate room

□ Armoire

□ Also two human males holding shovels

□ "congratulations - you're free" - adam

□ "what the hell r u on about"

□ "we unlocked your door that was previously locked presumably from the outside but now the door's open and you can walk through it"

□ "we locked it on purpose"

□ "none of ur business how we do ours what do you want"

□ "why did you lock yourself in here"

□ "bc this is our apartment"

□ Smth abt a rock

□ A tiny boulder ?

□ Rolls 20 for insight

□ Guy had a flash of recognition but he doesn't have it

® But what r they wearing

® Indiscrete, utilitarian clothes

® "can we search your room or will you tell us all you know"

® "is that a thweat"

® "a thweat? O thorry sorry a threat"

® Adam rolls for intimidation

◊ 9

□ "we could just lasso them"

□ "how much health do they have combined"

□ "ok so you guys aren't gonna tell us anything"

□ As adam turns around to leave he casts sleep

® 5d8

◊ "is their combined health equal or less than 22"

◊ "together they had 8"

□ Asyna moseys on upstairs

• I try so hard

○ And then things like this happen to me

○ It's fine, I say, albeit wholly unconvinced

○ Wow ok it really b like this

• Adam makes investigation check for anything in the bed

○ 18

○ There's a cut in the side of the bed w a bag of coins

○ "we shouldn't rob these people"

○ Apparently it's not a lot so we leave it

• Going to check other room

○ W8

§ Try to open door but immediately hit smth blocking it

§ Aerana and cel try opening the door

□ 14 strength check; doesn't budge

□ Peeking inside can make out a lot of heavy stones

□ 3 in gap

□ "so we can't fit through it . But a much smaller animal could probably fit through it"

○ Would b asyna's second wildshape

§ Investigate room wd40 but it's w4b

○ Asyna and cel r gonna go to w4b

○ Adam sticks arm through crack

§ Adam gets sense roof has collapsed

§ Feels beam of wood blocking door

○ Dom thinks we're too weak to hammer the door

○ Cel goes first

§ Dexterity save

□ 19

□ 2 damage; steps inside side closet and floor collapses

□ Falls down into w4a on first floor

□ Picks self up and goes back upstairs

○ Gonna try n shimmy over, 10 for acrobatics

§ Starts making way over then falls; dex save 11

§ 2 damage again

§ "uh hearing cel fall from the second floor twice , I come out"

□ Cel is gonna try and jump to w6

□ Adam gets crowbar from cel

§ Adam uses mage hand to open the door

□ Cel can just see a bunch of pigeon nests in w6

□ Cel jumps into w6

□ More pigeons

® Investigates; 20

◊ Finds the odd shiny thing a crow might've brought in; for the most part looks like a bird's dwelling

◊ Some fish bones in one of the nests

◊ Nature check, 5; can't tell what kind of nest

◊ They look like pigeon eggs tho

◊ Whisper yells to asyna "pet pigeon ?!"

◊ "are you gonna throw it?"

◊ "let me just tell you guys right now . You have more than one chance"

◊ Both have to make dexterity checks

◊ There are at least 5 eggs

◊ Cel rolls 22, asyna rolls 16

◊ The egg made it across successfully

◊ Cel just jumps back

○ Adam lightly pats down the two sleeping dudes

§ Some money, small utility knife

§ Gonna crowbar w8; strength check w advantage

§ Adam tries using the crowbar on the hinges, 8

§ Warhammer ? 15

□ 11 damage

□ "ok. Bonk"

□ "screws were invented in the first century so there WERE screws in the renaissance"

® Oil the door, adam tries to pop out the bolt with a dagger

® Two 4s

□ The people we cast sleep on are still asleep

○ Nat20 for athletics check to go onto the roo

§ You go to top of the windmill

§ Drop down into the room

□ Huge collapse of stones from the ceiling, beam of wood propped up against the door

□ Nat20

® Positive there is nothing in the room, just ceiling debris

○ "I'm gonna give their hands a little bondage"

§ "and then jerry seinfeld walks in like 'what's the deal with airplane food'"

§ Adam shakes the more serious-looking guy awake

§ Takes out key and asks if he's seen it

□ Wakes up and says "wot"

□ Other guy wakes up and is flailing

□ Cel rolls athletics check to tie him up

® 14, is able to tie him up

□ Looks at it and says it's his

□ "what's it for?"

□ "none of your business"

□ "you guys have a hobby of graverobbing?"

□ Adam says he's with the citywatch

® Deception check at disadvantage

® 9

® "yeah we're from the watch . Watch your back"

□ "why were u in the mausoleum"

® Jacob makes intimidation check w advantage

◊ 16, more serious one says "well u know we don't normally do that sort of thing"

◊ "we was paid to do it"

◊ "by whom"

◊ Lorsa morclav

} Losser mirklav paid them

– Asdjdmaf nice

® "what's the key for"

® "it's private"

® "can you make it public? For money ?"

® "45" adam puts knife closer to throat "I'm guessing that's a no" "I'm guessing that's a less please"

◊ Asks if we've played the dnd equivalent of poker

} Adam says he wants names first

} Younger one is urlaster

} Older one is volkarr

□ Threaten to bludgeon toes

® "how connected r u to ur toes"

® "rather intimately"

§ Says he buried his treasure

□ 10 to hit, slams ground

® Adam asks to see where loser mirklav is

◊ Southern ward

◊ By a bunch of apartments

◊ Half elf guy - cellar street ?

◊ Lives in an apartment

◊ "wig shop"

◊ "a weed shop"

◊ "a wIG shop"

§ "did u guys steal anything else from the tomb"

□ "we was hired to steal bones"

□ "losser's a necromancer"

□ Did they pick up a stone ?

® Losser saw a really thicc rat

® Losser kills the rat but it just vanishes, leaving the stone

® Losser took the stone

◊ Insight check, 8; can't tell if he's telling the truth

} "u guys broke into the tomb of a noble family for a necromancer for how much gold"

} 10 gold

} "we're keeping the key"

} "is loser the type of person that stays up at night"

} "well he's a mostly nocturnal fella"

} "yeah he likes his beauty rest during the day"

} "he's a strange little fellow"

§ "how badly do you want this key back"

□ "that's my life savings I want it back"

□ "what does losser look like ?"

□ Halfling fellow w long gray ponytail, he's wrinkly and smelly

® Is it bad that every time I hear the word necromancer I think necrophilia not necromancy

® "yeah I'm licking your life savings right now buddy"

◊ Adam fake swallows

} Performance check, 8

} "you're the worst actor I've ever seen"

} Actually swallows it

} "oh fuck"

} Key is made out of rusty iron

} "alright . Bye"

◊ "do you want your key back within 1-2 business days"

} "why don't you just puke it out"

} "I don't want to"

} "you guys keep quiet, I'll return the key to you in 1-2 business days"

} "that's disgusting"

} "alright . Bye"

– We’re leaving them tied up

– "wow we're being judged" - marguerite, 2020

– We take their shovel

– "say what was your name"

– "reginald"

– "deception"

w Rolls a 20 total

w "that's shilanda shilanda brilanda and tiffany"

w Nat1

® "it might come out less rusty than it was before"

◊ "hey dom when should I roll for that poison"

§ Cel takes knife, toss the shovels

□ Barricade door ?

○ Going back to mirt's to rest ?

§ Go back to mirt's

§ Fog has settled in over streets, early early morning

§ Make it back no problem

§ Past midnight

□ Rest with watches

□ During adam's watch reads book

® Investigation check, 20

® Details house growlund and their lineage

◊ It's a genealogical book

} A lot of the pages are blank bc it's continuously added to

} At some point it's described that some of the children were born with tails

– "I look at my tail . Then look back at the page"

– But then those tails were amputated

} Any inbreeding ?

– Investigation check, 13

– There was inbreeding

□ Cel keeps pigeon egg warm

§ Morning arrives, daytime mostly spent in fog until noon

□ 8 a.m.-ish

□ "do I have to uh use the bathroom dominic"

□ "is there any key"

□ "oh I thought you were talking about real life"

® "does the key come out"

® "oh my god no it does not"

® "this is a great disaster"

◊ "it was a large key"

◊ "then how did I swallow it?!"

◊ "oh god whatever"

◊ Key was small enough for adam to swallow without choking

} I didn't say this but I thought it: what if he had practice tho

• Renaer is up

○ Cel grabs asyna and adam to go ask renaer to watch their pigeon egg babies

○ He is incredibly confused but he affirms he won't eat them

○ "ey what's poppin mirt"

○ "how's it going"

○ "groot is chunky" - aerana?

○ "groot is the best kind of chunky" - cel

○ "mirt, I'll buy you a wig" - adam

○ "make it purple"

§ Purple like …. : - D ahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahaAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA

• We bust our way down to cellar street

○ Southern ward is the one where a lot of ppl move to from foreign lands

§ Eclectic

§ We find a small shop w some wigs in the front

○ There's a young half-elf woman running front desk

○ Headstands w wigs in the front, some r purple

○ Adam walks up to the half-elf woman asking for a special order w loser

○ "sorry we don't have anyone by that name"

○ "losser?"

○ Adam wants a private meeting to place an order

§ Insight

□ 16, she looks surprised n confused

○ There was not an apartment above the store

§ This corner is mostly businesses

□ Nat20 wisdom saving throw

® She is uncharmed

○ Has gray hair, smells like an excessive amount of lavender,

§ Says his name is val

□ Mirklav backwards

○ "is your boss here right now"

○ Lets himself in sometimes to say hi and to check in like once a month but he has a key

§ "how do you know him"

§ "uh do u remember how I said I was throwing a bar mitzvah ? He's invited"

□ 15 deception, works

□ She goes to the back

○ Nothing suspicious looking in the shop aside from the normal weirdness you'd expect from a wig shop bc it's just head mannequins

○ An elf walks in

§ "hey . Yo"

§ He nods

§ Doesn't necessarily look like he needs a wig

§ Wearing a tricorner hat like gwash

□ Makes idle conversation

□ "interesting things happening in the city, eh?"

® Heard abt the house that got blown up

® "oo . What's the juice ? What's the juicy gossip my guy"

® They say some kind of explosion

® Says he's more into politics

◊ "of course he is"

® "well I concern myself w the affairs of princes and princesses"

◊ Talks abt making deliveries

® "well many of them r comfortable . Of late I was able to make a v special acquaintance who essentially helped me w smth I needed doing"

◊ "I'm adam nice to meet you . Is it impossible to explain or "

◊ What's this guy's name tho

◊ Says he's good at making ppl happy or sad ???

◊ "you're like a performer"

◊ "do smth for us"

} He lost his silver handkerchief

– Can turn silver into gold, flicks it

– Admits puppetry is not his particular area of expertise

w Name is Jamboreal

w Nat20 insight check

w Looks different but it's the other guy

w Oh it's the guy the disguise guy your handkerchief bruh you really forgot about your own doings n stuff

w AHAHAHHA I SEE IT NOW OOPS wow I was really off

• Clerk lady comes back in

○ Brings back note of smth

§ We'll just sneak back later at night ig

§ Adam gives her a gold and says he'll take her purplest wig

□ Brings out a fluffy purple toupee

○ Wig shop closes around dusk

○ "do you want this wrapped"

○ "do you want to come to my bar mitzvah ? I'm turning 14"

○ Jamboreal is haggling a price down

§ Concept: take asyna to the zoo

□ Adam runs intelligence check for a

□ Uh are we going to the zoo ? We're going to the zoo

□ There's a bunch of animals

Pause; next time we’re going to the zoo

#sn #10 #dnd #wdh #d&d

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polyworth · 5 years ago

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val, mel, and thea!

Finally I’m getting around to answering the asks I got sent in response to this oc ask meme.

…SO THIS GOT REALLY LONG… Answers are Under The Cut (also thank u Iza ily)

Val:

Full Name: Valerias Amarantos Gender and Sexuality: Masc. NB & BisexualPronouns: He/HimEthnicity/Species: ??????? We Just Don’t Know What Species Val is (his features are based off of Vietnamese people, though– so if he were a person on earth he would be Vietnamese)Birthplace and Birthdate: place - Rhohigh Sec City; Date - 03/27Guilty Pleasures: He’s never guilty abt the things he indulges in I’ll be real with u chief. But a normal person would say: Gambling, Drinking, Over Indulging in GeneralPhobias: Claustrophobia & Nyctophobia – but the fear of the dark only happens if he’s in a small spaceWhat They Would Be Famous For: Oh Lots of things… Murder, for one. Being in line to be a new Territory God is another.What They Would Get Arrested For: Murder, Aggravated Assault, Public Inebriation, Disorderly Conduct, Treason, the list goes onOC You Ship Them With: Mel & Eli are his love interests OC Most Likely To Murder Them: HAHA Oh my god… Viviana & Mel are the two that stick out. I think a better question would be who’s LEAST likely to murder him.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Adventure / Action moviesLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: when the mentor / parental figure dies for the protagonistTalents and/or Powers: Complete Immortality & Super Strength / EnduranceWhy Someone Might Love Them: Val is honest, straightforward, funny, kinda dumb, and honestly if you’re nice to him he’ll probably do whatever you want. The last part changes a bit as he gets older, though.Why Someone Might Hate Them: Val is impulsive, short tempered, and only selectively cares about other people. He has a very convoluted honor code & is generally unpredictable. He literally cannot be killed & due to very specific trauma doesn’t have any qualms with killing. How They Change: Val goes from being a literal weapon / tool / considering himself as object to finding his personhood & learning to actually empathize with other living beings.Why You Love Them: Val is the culmination of many of my favorite tropes– unkillabe, dumb & innocent, but also just ridiculously OP. He’s very much like… an expression of growing up and learning that not everyone has the same privileges as you. By having him grow & try to make amends for the consequences of his actions, I want to show other people that you can too. He’s very dear to me in that way.

Mel:

Full Name: Melianthus KomosusGender and Sexuality: Nonbinary & PansexualPronouns: He / Him ; They / ThemEthnicity/Species: Cat Anima (no ethnicity has been assigned to Mel yet)Birthplace and Birthdate: place - Rhohigh Sec City ; date - 07/22Guilty Pleasures: Mel likes all the finer things in life– so I would say his guilty pleasure would probably be overspending on things haha. Going shopping for shit he doesn’t need & going out to eat when he’s got food at home, that sort of thing.Phobias: Failure, Abandonment, Not Measuring Up to ExpectationWhat They Would Be Famous For: Killing a GodWhat They Would Get Arrested For: ^^^, that and like… breaking out of prison and a whole lot of other things.OC You Ship Them With: Val & Eli are Mel’s love interests.OC Most Likely To Murder Them: THEA… PROBABLY…. Tbh lots of people probably want to.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: oh this bitch loves romance books, especially romance / mystery.Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: underdog stories. He finds them unrealistic.Talents and/or Powers: Mel is able to manipulate chance to his advantage to any degree he’d like– the drawback being that he will experience and equal amount of bad luck at a later time not of his choosing.Why Someone Might Love Them: Mel is one of those characters where he runs his mouth and acts like he doesn’t give a shit to hide the fact that he gives SO much of a fuck. His actions contradict his words– he says he doesn’t care if so and so gets hurt and then goes out of his way to protect them. Mel has a good heart and ultimately wants things to be fair in a world that is very much UNfair. He’s also prickly & unintentionally VERY funny because of this. Reluctant hero, anyone?Why Someone Might Hate Them: Probably for the same reasons listed above. Younger Mel was also extremely self centered & selfish, and caused a lot of damage manipulating people into doing things that ultimately only benefited him. He’s afraid of any kind of vulnerability & pushes people away instead of communicating his wants & needs. He’s proud and hates being wrong, or being embarrassed, etc.How They Change: Mel learns how to be a responsible & less selfish person, as well as how to open up and admit fault. He basically learns how to take care of someone other than himself.Why You Love Them: Mel was one of the first OCs that was made for Erodea– he’s so… fucking funny to me, honestly. He’s a goddamn Tsundere cat man. He’s all “ugh i hate kids and i want to be left alone for the rest of my miserable failure of a life” and then the SECOND a kid shows up in his life, regardless of the fact that getting involved with her could very well get him killed or worse, he immediately goes “WELL I guess I’m responsible for them now” and just. Goes on a fucking quest. Stupid.

Thea:

Full Name: Thea SantosGender and Sexuality: Cis woman & LesbianPronouns: She / HerEthnicity/Species: Human (Thea has a mixed heritage, so she doesn’t have one specific ethnicity)Birthplace and Birthdate: place - Humanity’s Palace in Niereve ; date - 12/02Guilty Pleasures: sneaking off with her best friend so she can slack off on her studies & official duties as a god, she also likes testing her luck with all sorts of things– this mostly results in her gambling but on a very small scale.Phobias: Being useless, being unable to do what she’s ‘meant’ to do, not ever fully awakening her powers & abilitiesWhat They Would Be Famous For: Being a Literal GodWhat They Would Get Arrested For: Breaking & Entering, Trespassing OC You Ship Them With: Eventually, Rhyanne! Rn they’re both like 16 though.. so.OC Most Likely To Murder Them: I cannot imagine anyone wanting to actually murder Thea. Except for one specific oc but that’s a Secret.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: The likes Murder Mysteries, ironically.Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Parents sacrificing themselves for their kids, also love trianglesTalents and/or Powers: Theoretically Thea should be able to do a large assortment of things, including but not limited to: Telepathic & Empathetic communication with other humans, prophetic visions specifically relating to any human’s fate, dream walking in other human’s dreams, telekinetic abilities, limited teleportation, access to miscellaneous magical spells.Why Someone Might Love Them: Thea is headstrong, compassionate, and easily flustered. She’s earnest in wanting to be the best god to her kind as physically possible but also equally as afraid of failing her people. She’s got a lot of weight on her shoulders for still being just a kid herself at 16. She’s full of love & determination and a definite fixer. She wants to make things Right and has a lot of energy to put towards that end.Why Someone Might Hate Them: She’s 16 and naive, and also 16, so she’s bound to be annoying. She’s self righteous, and leaps without looking, sure that she’s going to be alright when she lands. She’s quick tempered and blunt and doesn’t always consider other people’s feelings before she says things, and is usually convinced she’s right. A downside to her wanting to fix things is that she often does what she thinks will ‘fix’ a situation without thinking things through.How They Change: Thea matures over the course of the story from someone who is lost & trying to find their place and purpose, literally trying to figure out who she is and why, to someone confident in herself and her place, or at least someone who’s comfortable with where she’s going. She learns that even though she’s a God she can’t fix everything and help everyone, and focuses on doing what she can to better the lives she can, one little thing at a time.Why You Love Them: Out of all our OCs Thea has gone through the most dramatic change– we initially had her as a much more meek and mild sort of character, but had a sort of galaxy brain moment when we realized she would be so much more compelling as an obnoxious teen with room to grow. Thea has a heart that wants nothing more than to help and to give, which is at odds with her current abilities, and it’s been such a pleasure watching her sort of come together.

#erodea #Val #Mel #Thea #THANK U IZA #piyo-13

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kimvvantae · 6 years ago

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Umbra; 10

➜ being ruled by an ancient commandment, your sole purpose is to serve. you were born to protect the king with your life, tied by an everlasting oath; you are nothing but a shadow, a silent and insignificant being. he appears to you like the sun, the warmest and brightest star in the sky, and gives you a chance to live. it is then that your entire universe starts to orbit around this sun, and you decide that you are truly willing to die for him.

pairing: King!Taehyung x (f) hybrid!reader

genre: royalty au, fantasy, angst

warnings: descriptions of violence, blood, death and mistreatment that might be triggering.

word count: 11k

A/N: i burned all of my braincells to write this chapter. but let me ask you sumn!!! i’m really curious to know what you think abt umbra. what was your favorite chapter/part so far? what do you think is going to happen next? let me know!

enjoy uwu

➜ Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!

"Dahyun, look at that- it's beautiful!"

"It sure is, Your Highness."

"Ah- what is this made of?! It shines so much!"

"It's just crystals, Your Highness."

"The color is so pretty- oh! Dahyun, look at this!"

A sigh.

I stood some steps away, watching the scene repeating over and over again: Princess Sana seeing something interesting, gasping and dragging Dahyun by the arm to see it too.

I couldn't help but think it was comical.

We were at the principal market of the Capital - a huge commercial center in which you could find anything: food, handicrafts, clothes, even amulets and potions. The place is usually crowded everyday, but that day it was particularly full because of Princess Sana. Everyone wanted to call her attention, bring her to their establishments or simply talk to her. As expected of a royal, Sana knew how to deal with the public very well and with no apparent effort. She was doing a fairly good job - especially because, soon, these would be her subjects.

I could see on their eyes how they were amazed because of her beauty and politeness. The simple fact that she was at the market was a surprise itself: royals don't usually interact with common people so easily. They weren't used to this kind of treatment. And Princess Sana has been in constant contact with them; she already visited schools, healing centers and even the Royal Orphanage. Her popularity was beyond good. Ëlvians had already fully embraced her as their Queen, although the wedding ceremony would happen just next week, and consequently her crowning.

"I can see why they are going to get married," I heard someone in the crowd say. "They are both good people!"

"And they are so beautiful, aren't they?" Another person said.

"Ëlv'en is in good hands!" One more exclaimed happily.

It was strange how I suddenly agreed with that.

After these two weeks of convivence, that gruesome feeling I used to have about Sana completely vanished. She was sympathetic, sincere and cared about others. Although she was born in a royal house surrounded by wealth, Sana was humble. She also knew the importance that her position represented and didn't seem to take advantage of it.

She was good.

I could not simply hate someone like her.

Jealousy is a word I have just learned recently. Apparently, my dislike towards her before was provided because she was in a position I secretly wanted to be in. But, as I learned more about Princess Sana, I could not let myself drown in my own selfish feelings. She truly showed to be capable of ruling Ëlv'en beside Taehyung. She also fully supported his decision to fight against slavery and revealed her want to forbid it in Vanaheim, too, as soon as she took the throne and became the Queen of her native land. As long as Princess Sana fulfilled her role as a good leader, then I had no reason to not support her marriage with Taehyung.

Although I still felt that there was a dagger buried in my heart.

We must do what's necessary for the greater good. Even if it hurts us sometimes.

And I knew that Sana's role hurt her deeply, too.

I watched as the princess dragged Dahyun by the arm.

They were very careful and subtle. I doubted anyone else would notice. However, I could still feel that delicate sensation about the two, the way their auras were always in tune. Dahyun knew Princess Sana very well and vice versa. But I could also feel that deep sadness on them... their pain. I saw many moments in which they would stare at each other deeply... but then, as if being pulled by reality, they would avoid gazes and distance from each other. Dahyun was usually the one to break eye contact. In these moments, both auras felt like painted in blue.

I was unexperienced, but not stupid. I could understand what was going on.

Watch them was painful and... familiar.

But I was yanked out of my reverie as I felt a pair of curious eyes watching me intently.

I turned around to Princess Yeri. The girl blushed as she noticed I caught her and avoided my gaze.

"Was I being too obvious?" She asked.

"Yes," I admitted.

The girl huffed and crossed her arms.

"It's just that I still can't believe," she murmured. "Are you really the Royal Guardian?"

"Yes, Your Highness." I said, looking back to Sana as she talked to a seller, Dahyun looking tired of being dragged around by her side.

"I didn't expect this," she admitted under her breath.

I quirked one eyebrow at her. Ever since Sana arrived, Princess Yeri spent most of her time with her - what consequently meant I was spending time with her, too. And I was doing the exact opposite of what my conduct code told me. Guardians shouldn't interact with their masters, which I did frequently with both princesses.

My old me would pass out if she knew what I was doing. But I didn't care about it anymore. I was sure General Seokjin would have scolded me if he weren't so busy, but even if he did, I wouldn't care.

Being honest, just the idea of someone being my master and simply telling me what to do all the time felt gruesome now.

"And what exactly did Your Highness expect?" I asked, side eyeing her.

Princess Yeri tilted her head. I don't know if it was because she was Taehyung's sister or because she was around Chuu's age, but I had an odd protective sensation about the girl.

"I don't know... I expected a tall man," she confessed.

"Is Your Highness disappointed?"

"No," she was quick to say. "I think it's very cool. You should teach me how to use this sword anytime."

I looked at her small and delicate hands. "I don't think Your Highness will like it very much."

"What? Do you think I'm weak?" Princess Yeri said, sending me a challenging glare. But as I was about to respond, a noise called my attention and I looked back to Princess Sana's direction.

A little girl, probably ten years old, have just fallen in front of Sana. I noticed the small deer horns atop her head. The girl gasped and looked up.

I saw the Princess trying to reach for the girl, but the she had no time.

A human-wall made of soldiers was around both princesses to prevent the public to get too close, and the little girl has just crossed this wall. One of the soldiers took the kid by the forearm roughly and lifted her up, making the girl gasp in pain.

"Get off the Princess' way!" He yelled, dragging the girl forcefully. Everyone watched the scene in silence and confusion.

I immediately felt anger boiling up in my blood. I stepped ahead, ready to stop the soldier's violent actions-

But Princess Sana was faster than me.

She touched the soldier's arm gently, but that single action made his action come to a halt. She looked up at him, expression hard with disapproval.

"It's just a child, soldier. There's no need to be so aggressive," she said, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Leave her."

The soldier had no other choice but do as she ordered. The little girl looked up at him, her eyes wide with fear, her little arm red because of the man's strong grip.

Princess Sana crouched down to her eye level and smiled gently. "Did you get hurt?"

The girl looked down to her feet and shook her head, her pigtails waving cutely at the action.

"What's your name?" The Princess asked.

"Alice," the girl answered shyly.

"That's a pretty name, Alice." The girl widened her eyes in surprise, her cheeks immediately flushing in pink. Princess Sana then took something from her bag - a blue hairpiece she bought earlier today. "Do you like this?"

Alice nodded. "It's pretty."

Delicately, Sana placed the hairpiece in Alice's hair. The little girl seemed even more surprised. "Then, it's yours now. You look so pretty! Dahyun, give me a mirror!"

The crowd around watched that scene. Soon, I heard several sentences of approval and delightfulness at Sana's action:

"...she's good even to hybrids..."

"...did you see how she protected that kid?..."

"...she has such a good heart!..."

I couldn't help but agree with all of them.

Princess Sana was definitely the most suitable person to fulfill the Queen's role...

But another conversation caught my attention.

I only heard that because of my accurate senses. Two voices stood out in the middle of the others; they were speaking very quietly to not let anyone else overhear them.

"They think they can fool us with this cheap acting?" The person scoffed.

"See how stupid these people are? They are so gullible. They are already accepting this person as a ruler so easily."

"I doubt she will make any real changes for us." The first person lowered their voice even more. "But they'll see what's good. The only person capable of leading us is the chosen one."

This triggered an alarm inside of me.

I looked around, trying to find who the owners of these voices were. The chosen one. They knew about that rebellion. The rebellion that possibly tried to murder Taehyung; the rebellion that possibly sent that shapeshifter two weeks ago to watch us...

But there were too many people, too many faces. I could not distinguish the two pair of voices when there were so many people talking all at once – and couldn’t leave Princess Sana unprotected in the middle of the crowd to go after them.

I tightened my fists.

This situation was getting worse each day.

I couldn’t stop looking around as we made our way back to the palace. It was hard to focus with Princess Yeri talking nonstop (the young girl could be quite talkative when she wanted), but I still tried.

Ever since the attack weeks prior, I had been careful to the point of paranoia. I was aware of my surroundings all the time, expanding my senses to the maximum my body could bear, and I could barely sleep at night. I couldn’t forget that wolf watching us outside of the palace.

It watched us in silence, but it was like it wanted me to see. It did it purposefully to let me realize we were being watched...

Clearly a threat.

However, that was not even what bothered me the most, what gave me sleepless nights. I couldn’t forget the fact that someone was able to attack my psyche so strongly it almost made me get crazy.

More than that; I couldn’t accept it.

I was a warrior. I was aware of all of my abilities and powers. Although I was trained to be humble my entire life and taught about the sins my species did in the past, I was always proud to be a dragon – even though it means I was a beast. I have trained for physical, magic and mental combats. A dragon guardian has to keep their minds completely blocked; what if the enemy finds a way to get inside our minds and collect information about our masters? That is why all of us went through an intense and painful training to seal our minds to the point that no one would be able to attack or control us.

But, only two weeks prior, someone was able to attack my mind in that level.

That attack would have been able to kill any human immediately. The damage it made on me was not permanent and I was able to recover quickly, yet it was still shocking. What kind of person was able to get into my mind that way?

It angered me to the core.

That person hurt my honor and pride. I promised that the day I put my hands on them, they would suffer. Whoever they were.

We walked back to the palace, where the princesses had some tea. Sana analyzed everything she bought, mostly handicrafts. She bought a gift to every one of her personal assistants. However, yet again, I couldn’t focus on anything of what they were saying. I was watching over Princess Sana for now, but I was still connected to Taehyung...

And I could still feel his troubling aura from here.

He was having another reunion with the Council - one of the many he had in this short period of time. To say the truth, "reunion" is not the right word - battlefield is more suitable.

Heated discussions, exasperated people yelling from all sides. As expected, more than half of the Council was against Taehyung's wish to forbid slavery in the Ëlv'en. It would be easy if Taehyung could simply do whatever he pleased and sign any law he wanted to create, but that's not how things worked. To promulgate a law, he needed to have at least sixty percent of the counselors by his side... and that's not what happened.

I was busy watching over Princess Sana so me and Taehyung barely interacted, but I could still see on his eyes and demeanor his constant state of tiredness and anger. Yes, he was angry - very angry, to be honest, and I could understand why. He had to deal with all these prejudiced people. The idea of giving freedom to hybrids and seeing them having equal rights as humans seemed to be the worst thing possible to them. Even Taehyung - one of the most well-controlled people I've ever met - was beginning to lose his patience.

Some nights ago, I saw Taehyung sitting by himself in the gardens at night. I did not approach him - and I wish he didn't notice I was there as well - but he seemed so tired and overwhelmed. If I could, I would have sat by his side. I would have listened to his concerns. If I could, I would have passed my hands on his hair gently, I would have watched him close his eyes slowly and sigh in relief.

But I couldn't.

That was what hurt the most. I was so close to him, but at the same time, I was so far.

Their tea ended, and Princess Yeri had to (forcefully) go to the classes she has been procrastinating the entire day. I was ready to leave, too, and let Princess Sana by herself.

“Y/N, wait,” the Princess called as I was exiting.

I stopped on my tracks and immediately turned around to her. “Yes, Your Highness? Is there something you need?”

Sana nodded. She pointed to the armchair in front of her delicately. “Please, let’s talk for a while.”

Her ask was strange, but I did it anyway, sitting and waiting for her to start speaking. It was remarkable how different we were – Princess Sana, wearing a beautiful green dress, a delicate flower that overflowed femininity in everything she did; and me, wearing my usual black uniform with a sword sheathed on my hip. I never really cared about appearance, but comparing myself with Princess Sana on this matter was quite depressive.

“You have been Taehyung’s guardian for some time now,” she started softly, and the simple mention of his name made my stomach flutter with nervousness. Princess Sana never talked to me about him. “So, I assume that you may know him well at this point.”

I hesitated before nodding. Where this conversation was leading me to? “Yes, Your Highness.”

Sana exhaled heavily. She wasn’t looking at me, playing with the lace of her dress absently. “I know it is embarrassing, but... I still can’t understand him.”

“But Your Highness has been spending a lot of time with His Majesty lately,” I commented, slightly confused.

“Yes, but... he is so unreadable. Taehyung is very polite towards me and we talk about many subjects, yet... I feel that he is not opening up to me. I don’t blame him, though, because this situation is hard to deal with for both of us, but I think that to make things work I must understand him more.” She then looked up at me and smiled. “That’s why I’m asking for your help.”

I narrowed my eyes, confused. “I’m afraid I still did not understand...”

“Tell me what you know about him,” Sana explained, gesticulating. I scratched the nape of my neck, feeling somehow uncomfortable and even more confused.

“But, Your Highness... I don’t know what to say,” I admitted. Princess Sana giggled softly.

“What are his habits? What’s him like? I mean, the real Taehyung. How is he behind the mask?”

I shifted uncomfortably, not exactly sure of what to say. Sure, I knew Taehyung very well at this point – but where to start from? I thought for some moments.

“He’s scared of heights,” I said suddenly. Not exactly the most useful information, but Sana seemed surprised.

“Is he?”

“Yes. A lot. And... he loves chocolate.” I thought for some moments. Princess Sana nodded, encouraging me to continue. “He is very kind with everyone around him. He is also very well-controlled, however he can’t hide it when he doesn’t like someone. He prefers winter than summer and his favorite colors are purple and blue. He likes kids and, honestly, can be very childish sometimes. And... and his favorite fruit is strawberry. He speaks more than three languages, loves traveling and hates being in a single place for too long; he is a free spirit. Although he is very friendly, he doesn’t trust people easily. He is fair, has a strong sense of justice. And... he tries hard to hide his feelings, doesn’t like to show his weaknesses, but... he still has fragilities. Sometimes, he just needs someone he trusts to let it all out. Taehyung, he is- he is good.”

I had to interrupt myself abruptly when I noticed I said his name out loud. I coughed, shifting uncomfortably again, feeling embarrassed.

“I’m sorry. I... I got too carried away...”

“It’s alright. You sure know him very well.”

For the first time, I had the courage to look up at Princess Sana.

She looked at me in a way I’ve never seen before. She wasn’t angry at me, wasn’t judging me. But from her gaze, I could tell...

She knew.

More than that; Sana understood me.

In that moment, I couldn’t bear being in her presence anymore. The fact that I was so obvious in front of her made me flustered to the core. Princess Sana was his fianceé; that situation was anything but normal. I coughed again, feeling a heat make its way up to my neck.

“I-I apologize, Your Highness, but I need to leave.”

“Alright. Thank you for your help,” she said softly, but I was already getting up and bowing respectfully.

I almost ran out of her room.

How stupid was I being?

I watched as the woman fell to the ground with a grunt, blood spilling from her wounds. She looked at me with wide eyes full of panic.

I placed the tip of my sword at the base of her neck. She was frozen in place, shivering.

“I said you shouldn’t try to fight me,” my voice sounded quiet, cold and hard as stone. The woman shivered.

“W-What do you want from me?” she stuttered, voice shaking.

“I just need you to keep quiet.”

With a simple gaze, I entered her mind.

Her mind was weak and unprepared; she offered almost no resistance to me. A slave merchant. Her ability to shapeshift was hereditary, but she never really treasured this ability. She gained wealth by stealing hybrid children from their families and selling them as slaves.

But there was nothing in her mind that indicated that she was involved with Taehyung’s attempted murder.

I left her mind, exhaling heavily in disappointment. The woman blinked, dizzy, and stared up at me. “D-Did you just ent-ter my mind? What do you want from me, demon?!”

I sheathed my sword and looked back at her. “I want you to forget everything about our encounter.”

And she immediately fell unconscious after hearing my order in dragon language.

I turned around, heading to the entrance of her mansion. All of the guards and maids were laying on the ground in different positions after I put them all to sleep, so the place was silent. Humans’ minds are so fragile, so easy to command. I crossed the large gardens of the property, the night breeze playing with my hair. I stretched my wings slightly, the two cuts in my shoulder blades still burning a little. Since I have been transforming into my dragon nature quite frequently, it did not hurt much as it used to.

The sun would rise soon, what meant I had to leave. But not before doing something...

I stopped in front of the huge shed and held the big padlock that also contained a sealing spell; my hand gripped it tightly, and the iron object started to melt. The entire building shone with a sickening green light for a second, indicating the spell was broken.

The doors were pushed open.

All the hybrids inside gasped in unison; some girls yelled, all of them flinched. They stared at me with fear. There were dozens of kids and teenagers.

I stepped inside and simply said: “Go.”

None of them moved, their gazes shifting from scared to confused.

“What are you waiting for? Go before the guards wake up,” I repeated more firmly this time. “You all have to leave the property and don’t stop running until morning comes. You must go down the hills in the North direction. Avoid big cities like Györi, because there are too many soldiers there. You still have some time before the spell fades away, so I advise you to take some supplies from the mansion. Come on, you won’t have another chance when the sun rises!”

Immediately, they started to run out of the shed. They ran past me, some of them stumbling in their hurry; the older ones took the younger ones by their arms and led them out of the building. I stood there, holding the door opened, and waited for them to exit, watching as well as they entered the mansion from far and went out of there with food and other supplies on their hands.

I heard many “thank yous!” and “may the elves bless you!” directed to me as they wan away; some of them were weak and dehydrated, but seeing their smiles of incredulity made a good feeling grow inside of me. They didn’t approach much, though, scared of me. Although my dragon nature is not much different from my human form, I know it is an unusual and imposing sight that make many fear me.

That is, until I noticed there was a pair of eyes looking at me from below.

A little girl, probably six years old, stared up at me in awe.

“Are you an angel?” she asked, astonished.

A smile creeped up on my lips. Just some minutes ago that woman called me a demon...

“No,” I said softly. “I am just a shadow.”

The girl smiled. “Thank you, Miss Shadow!”

With that, she ran away towards a group of older hybrids.

I stayed there until I was sure no one was left behind, until I saw the last of them disappearing down the hill. It was sad that I couldn’t provide more support to them, yet freeing these kids was the first step; I knew that if they followed my instructions, they would arrive at a hybrid village hidden in the woods.

And then, I was the only person awake in the property.

I took the piece of paper from my clothes and unfolded it – the list Jimin gave me, and scratched the seventh name; the last one.

Yggrite Brzenski

I have visited each of the seven on the list, and none of them were involved in Taehyung’s attempted murder or were the wolf watching us that night. I already expected it, though; someone that tried to kill a King wouldn’t be foolish enough to let their name registered at the Tower. This story just got more and more complicated.

There was also the fact that this person could be involved with the rebellion Jimin talked about, but I couldn’t jump to conclusions yet. This rebellion has been intriguing me ever since I talked to Jimin about it – and after paying much attention, I heard people talking about it, not only that day at the market with Princess Sana. At the palace, the workers would whisper to each other when there was no superior listening. It’s not as if any of them were involved in it, though; the times I heard were always people criticizing Taehyung or the marriage and doubting the changes he said he would make, and saying that the rebellion was the only solution for hybrids in Ëlv’en.

I also heard the words the chosen one many times...

I even tried to get into someone’s mind to achieve more information, but they really didn’t know much about the rebellion’s next steps or who was leading it. Therefore, I could not just keep entering people’s minds that way. It is intrusive and extremely disrespectful; I just entered one’s mind as a last effort. Moreover, enter someone’s mind is dangerous. Even if I tried to be delicate when doing it, the action could break the person’s consciousness to the point of madness or cerebral death. My existence is too strong for a common human or hybrid to bear. Whenever I checked people’s minds when doing my interrogations, I wouldn’t go farther than just scratching the surface of their consciousness. I didn’t want to kill anyone by accident.

I flew back to the Capital, all these thoughts troubling me. I had a strange feeling that has been growing these days; it felt as if staring at heavy, dark clouds approaching, hearing the thunders from far, knowing that soon the storm would fall upon my head. Something was about to happen, and I had to be ready.

Or, perhaps, it was just my sadness increasing because of the wedding ceremony.

It would happen the next day.

Each day closer to the ceremony felt like a different arrow being buried in my chest. I had to watch the palace being decorated, the Capital becoming even more crowded than it was during Dökkálfar, special guests arriving to witness the wedding. I had to watch Princess Sana trying her beautiful wedding dress for the first time. I couldn’t even look at her in the eye ever since I stupidly exposed myself in front of her.

The only person I didn’t see much was Taehyung himself, but for that I was grateful. It would just add to the pain.

Not even my tight routine helped me to distract myself. I visited each seven from the list during the night, when both Taehyung and Princess Sana were at the palace and safe, sometimes flying long hours to reach my destinations, what gave me many nights and days without any sleep. But working to the point of exhaustion was not working. Instead, I just felt sad and tired.

I was so tired of being sad.

Just the sight of the palace appearing in my vision already made my shoulders weight heavily. At least when I traveled, my connection with Taehyung weakened a little bit and I could let myself forget for some moments of what was about to come. At the palace, though, every place and person reminded me of him and the wedding.

I landed in the middle of the forest which bordered the palace, where I could shift back into my human form unnoticed, and walked back inside the colossal building. It was barely six in the morning, however no one was sleeping; workers running from side to side to make the last adjustments; the cooks worked like crazy to get all the food ready in time, chefs yelling orders and rushing everyone. The Royal Family invited around one thousand official guests, but millions of subjects came to the Capital to watch the ceremony and cheer for their new Queen. People came from all parts of the continent, especially from Vanaheim, Princess Sana’s native land.

The security system has been reinforced; powerful spells protected the palace, amulets were hidden everywhere, soldiers patrolled the city day and night. It was somehow a relief to me, but I could not let my guard down. Spells can be broken and humans are weak. If something bad happened, I would be the last barrier between Taehyung and the danger.

As always, no one noticed me walking towards my room. The day before the wedding ceremony was free to the bride and groom, so they could rest before the great day. It didn’t mean I was free, though; I had to check up on each spell of the palace, but I still had two hours left.

I entered my room and closed the door, exhaling heavily. I didn’t know if I was ready. I knew that this marriage was the right thing to happen for both kingdoms, but the thought of Taehyung marrying Princess Sana was too painful for me to even picture – watch in person would be unbearable.

I threw the sword carelessly over my bed and was about to change clothes. I hadn’t even talked to Taehyung all this time. Things between me and him were so unsettled – I didn’t even understand yet if a “thing” between us even existed. I missed the times when we were traveling, when we became close, when the wall that kept us apart seemed to be inexistent-

“Did you miss me, Y/N?”

I turned around immediately with a jump, completely started.

My eyes widened, my lungs failed.

“Hoseok?!”

The red-haired man looked at me, the usual mischievous smirk on his lips, a somber gaze shadowing his features. He was leaned against the door casually, as if his presence in my room was the most normal thing in the world.

“Oh, I see you’re very excited to see me,” he said, quirking his eyebrow suggestively. I felt my cheeks burning, readjusting my shirt again. I was about to take it off when he appeared – but fortunately, he didn’t see much. My heart was beating way too fast; I was so confused.

“How are you-?” I was about to ask, but then I finally noticed.

He was with me, but at the same time he wasn’t. Well, at least not physically.

“It’s not my fault that we have a mental connection,” he said, shrugging absently. “It was pretty hard to come here, by the way. You blocked our bond so well. Why did you do that, love? You don’t appreciate my presence?”

A scowl of disgust distorted my features. “Don’t call me like this.”

“You don��t like it when I’m rude, but you also don’t like it when I try to be sweet. Why are women so complicated?” He tilted his head to the side, voice spilling sarcasm.

“I don’t like you at all,” I snapped, crossing my arms. It has been such a long time since Hoseok contacted me through our connection. “What do you want?”

Hoseok’s smirk accentuated as he approached me slowly, stopping right in front of me. Although his presence was only telepathic, it was so real that I could almost feel his scent.

I didn’t like him so close to me, even though he wasn’t with me physically. Partially because I hated him, and also because I could not deny the fact that Hoseok was very attractive. I always thought he had a good appearance, but due to my conduct code, I brushed this attractiveness to the far corner of my mind. Actually, his good appearance was what made or deal feel less disgusting. Now, I didn’t care about conduct codes anymore; I couldn’t deny that his presence so close to me made me feel uneasy.

It was different of what I felt with Taehyung, though. I liked everything about Taehyung. With Hoseok, only his appearance attracted me – nothing more.

“I came here to remind you that you’re reaching the full adulthood next week,” he said, the mischievous grin never leaving his lips.

I gulped, avoiding his gaze. I actually forgot about it.

“And, surprisingly, you seem to have really forgotten,” he scoffed.

“I have been busy. How would I remember about it?” I retorted, looking at him again.

“I know. The wedding.” Hoseok lowered his gaze to my eye level. “But the wedding is tomorrow, and our deal happens next week. I hope that you at least prepared to it.”

And I avoided his gaze again.

Hoseok’s grin disappeared.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t explain it to your master yet.”

I didn’t answer.

Hoseok huffed, anger immediately hitting him. “Y/N, what’s your problem? Did you forget how important this is?!”

“I didn’t have a chance to say anything!” I tried to defend myself. “M-Maybe we could delay it for a couple of weeks-”

“You know we can’t. Unless you want to die. I'm saying this for your own sake,” Hoseok warned, expression hard, his voice giving me no room for protests.

I sighed, feeling completely defeated. I knew Hoseok was right; I should have explained it to Taehyung a long time ago. I should have told him about this since the day we met at the dungeons.

“What happened to you, Y/N? Since when you became so weak?” Hoseok questioned, eyeing me oddly. “I can see there’s something different about you. When you were King Taejun’s guardian, you would not have wavered over such a simple issue.”

“Simple?!” I looked up at him again, starting to feel annoyed. “This has never been an easy issue to me, Hoseok. I am the one that might end up dying, not you.”

For a second, I saw Hoseok’s gaze shifting. It was only for one second, too brief – but I saw a shadow of concern on his eyes. But it was only for one second before his eyes became hard again and he scoffed.

“Well, as a Royal Guardian, you should be used to the idea of dying. But I think you’re just a coward, since you delayed your own death by becoming King Taehyung’s guardian.”

I felt such a strong wave of anger that even Hoseok’s image wavered a bit. I was sure that he felt it on his own skin.

“I swear – next time we meet, I will kill you,” I said between gritted teeth.

The grin reappeared in Hoseok’s lips. “I am looking forward to it, love.” He approached one more step, now standing dangerously close to me. I could feel the heat radiating from his body. Our bond was so strong that even our bodies were connected. “In fact, I think we could train a little bit before the big event next week. If you completely unblock my connection with you, you’ll be able to feel me physically...”

Hoseok was about to touch my face, but I slapped his hand away and pushed his chest. A freezing shiver ran underneath my skin; the feeling of touching someone that isn’t even there is strong and nauseating. Our brains were projecting how would it feel like if we were actually in front of each other, barely a ghost of reality.

“Get out of my mind,” I ordered angrily, making Hoseok chuckle darkly.

“You can’t keep avoiding this forever, love.” His voice then got only slightly more serious. “I don’t know how you’ll make it, but you have to tell your master. You must be in Niflheim next week.”

“I know,” I said weakly, because as much as I hated it, Hoseok was right. “I’ll be there.”

And again, for the briefest of the moments, I saw a flash of something more in Hoseok’s eyes. They softened, only for a moment.

“Don’t worry, love. It won’t be as bad as you think. To be honest, you’ll like it very much.”

“I told you to stop calling me this way,” I said angrily again. Hoseok just chuckled.

“Well, unfortunately, I have to leave. See you next week, Y/N.” He looked at me intensely for some moments. “I’ll be anxiously waiting for you.”

And, with that, his image faded away.

I was quick to seal our connection strongly again. How inattentive was I being all this time to loosen the block so much that Hoseok simply slipped into my consciousness? I have always been very careful to not let him do it. Although it was not his fault that our minds were connected, Hoseok liked to provoke me. When we were younger and I didn’t know how to seal our bond, sometimes he would even appear in my dreams just to make me angry.

I sighed heavily and sat on the bed, holding my head in my hands. What was I going to do? I did not have the courage to explain it to Taehyung. But, as Hoseok himself said, we had no time.

The situation only got worse and worse...

In that exact moment, realization hit me like a rock.

I widened my eyes.

Someone was able to attack my mind. The sealed mind of a dragon. I kept asking myself who could be so powerful to do so...

But Hoseok has just slipped into my mind so easily minutes ago. Yes, we had a connection, but still – that was not an easy task.

Pure adrenaline rush through my veins.

The person that attacked my mind was either Hoseok... or another person as strong as him. And the only one able to match the power of a dragon is another dragon.

A brother of mine was involved with Taehyung’s attempted murder.

I couldn't think of anything else in the next hours. I almost forgot about the wedding.

As I made inspections in the protective spells, my mind was a turmoil. The more I thought about it, the more I was sure: another dragon attacked my mind.

But who?

I knew all of my brothers by name. Hoseok, Yuta, Chanyeol and Minho - we were the Five Guardians. There were eight kids currently training in Niflheim, but they were way too weak and unexperienced to be able to attack my mind that way. And there were also two female dragons there - but since they did not receive the same training as us, I knew they wouldn't be able to attack me.

So, who could it be?

Hoseok and I already had a connection, so he could supposedly be the culprit, but that I doubted highly. I would have recognized his presence in my consciousness immediately if he were the attacker. Therefore, I knew Hoseok way too much; he had an impeccable behavior his entire life, always following the conduct code and he was very proud to be a Guardian. As he already said multiple times, nothing was above his honor. There was no possibility that Hoseok would simply join a rebellion. I also doubted it would be Yuta, because I would have recognized his aura as well.

What should I do? My only choice was to visit each dragon; feeling their presences and auras could give me a hint. But I didn't know how I would make it. Three of them were guardians and the rest were all in Niflheim, and I couldn't go to the mountains again without permission...

But I would have to go back to Niflheim next week, isn't it? And I had permission to do so. Maybe the, I'd be able to find more information…

I inspected every corner of the palace, checking if the spells were working the way they should – and apparently, everything was fine. I checked everything more than once, doing as my superiors asked. This time, I couldn't be upset at them; the Capital was impossibly crowded, so being careful was the expected. By the time my inspections ended, the sun was already disappearing in the horizon.

When I finally had a little bit of free time, I searched for Yoongi. Fortunately, he was taking a break, too. We sat far from the mess that was the kitchen; although I don't usually get tired easily, I couldn't help but feel my eyelids becoming heavy. There were too many things for me to deal with all at once...

"They want us to wear this ridiculous uniform," Yoongi whined for the hundredth time, a pout on his lips.

"But you're going to work as a waiter, right? Of course you'll have to dress accordingly."

"Yes, but that white uniform is ridiculous. I look like a clown in that. What were they even thinking?!" He crossed his arms, upset.

I smiled softly. I smiled softly. But, as I was about to reply, we heard the noise of something breaking loudly in the kitchen.

We both looked in that direction, startled.

We both heard someone yelling, "Chuu!"

We both got up at the same time and ran in to the kitchen.

All of the workers had stopped to watch what happened, and my chest immediately tightened. Chuu was crouched down in front of a pile of porcelain shards, trying to collect them weakly. Why was that scene so familiar?

"Ma'am, I'm so sorry-" she stuttered.

"Sorry?!" Martha yelled, watching her from above, red anger on her eyes. "I am tired of hearing your apologies! You are a disaster! Look at what you did! Get up!"

Chuu trembled slightly, doing as she said, tears already watering her eyes. Everyone watched, but no one moved do help her.

The thing Chuu hated the most was being watched as she was humiliated...

"Ma'am-"

"Shut up! This time, I won't forgive you!"

In my eyes, the scene happened in slow motion.

Martha, with her features distorted in anger, lifting her hand, ready to slap Chuu's face violently.

Chuu flinching, preparing to the aggression.

I remembered that I saw her going through a similar situation months ago, when Chuu spilled tea in Taehyung's clothes. Back then, Yoongi was who tried to intervene, but I stopped him and dragged him away. Back then, I thought that we should never go against our superiors, even when we were right and they were wrong. Back then, I used to be the person that would be punished without saying a word, always keeping my head down, always obeying, always doing what others wanted before considering what I wanted. I was the submissive person that agreed with everything bad. I was the person that watched my friends being humiliated without doing anything.

But the person I used to be has died.

All of the bad feelings accumulated inside of me for the past days seemed to explode in that moment. The moment I saw Chuu closing her eyes tightly in fear. The moment I saw Martha ready to slap the face of one of the people I cared most in the world.

I refused to be that person again.

Martha looked at me in shock when I held her arm tightly.

"What-?"

When I pushed her, the woman lost balance completely and fell to the ground, taking an entire table with her.

Everyone gasped.

Chuu looked up at me, shocked.

"You don't touch her like that!" I yelled, making Martha flinch.

She looked at me. "Who are you to give me orders, slave?!" She said, however her voice lacked strength. Most workers around me didn’t know what I am, but she knew. And because of that, she feared me.

I stepped closer. "I am the person that will punish you if you don't leave this palace immediately."

Martha froze. But she was too proud. The woman got up and looked at me. "I will make sure to tell your superiors about this!"

"Do it." I stepped even closer, making Martha step behind. I let all of my anger flow through my gaze, all of that fiery sensation burning in my guts. Fear as clear as the morning sky was evident in her eyes. "Go, tell them. I don't care. You're not stronger than me, neither are they. I want to see you try."

Slowly, I felt the hybrids around me being filled by my speech, like oil being thrown in a fire pit. They started to murmur things in agreement; I felt their hard feelings being fed, satisfaction and ager taking over them - because someone was finally doing what all of them wanted to do, but no one was brave enough to do so.

As I approached, they approached behind me, too, closing a tight circle. Martha was forced to step back. Slowly, we were kicking her out of the kitchen - out of the palace.

"Y-You'll pay for this!" She said, eyes filled with panic. She saw all the people she always humiliated standing against her, all the hatred she had caused.

"You will pay the consequences if you don't leave. Now." My voice was menacing, my fists tightened.

But cowards don't need to listen twice. Martha turned around and started to run, a small crowd runnings after her, screaming and cursing her. Soon, the commotion had gathered more and more people that watched the hated superior run away hopelessly until she was out of the palace, screams of triumph and victory leaving their lungs.

I looked around to all of them. They held the same smiles and happiness I saw in these hybrid kids earlier that day; the same satisfaction.

Yoongi stared at me in shock.

From far, I saw Jungkook showing a mix of shock and similar satisfaction.

I remembered his words from times ago; if you have the power to change it yet you chose to do nothing, then yes, it is your fault!

He was right.

I could not keep seeing such things happening right in front of me and doing nothing to change it when I had the power to do so.

"Listen well, all of you!" I said, calling all the attention. They went silent, waiting for me to speak. "This kind of behavior - it can't no longer be tolerated. It doesn't matter if the work-policy changed if they don't change as well; they do not have the right to treat us like this, they never had, but now more than ever - they will never again. We won't tolerate be treated like slaves anymore. We are free. And if they don't want to accept it - we will make then accept it!"

And everyone around me started to scream.

They applauded, shouts of support coming from all sides. The old me would never do something like this; a guardian is supposed to be a shadow.

But I was tired of being invisible.

Both Yoongi and Chuu watched me in silence, too shocked to react. The two people I cared about the most.

They were more than friends; they were my family.

They gasped when I simultaneously pulled them into a hug.

"Yoongi, you were right. You were right all along... About everything. I'm sorry for not listening to you before," I said, my voice sounding muffled. "Chuu, I'm sorry for never protecting you before. I'm sorry for being such a bad sister."

Chuu sniffled, tears already trickling down her chubby cheeks. "S-Sister?"

I nodded, hugging her tighter.

The old me hated physical contact; this kind of touch, though, filled me with joy and warmth.

“L-Look, I’m sorry for destroying this heartfelt moment,” I heard Yoongi saying, trying to sound unbothered, but his voice was wavering slightly and he wiped his eyes quickly, what made me smile. “But you know that you just made a mess one day before the royal wedding, right?”

He was right. No one was working anymore. I saw guards approaching quickly as they heard the loud commotion in the service area; they looked around, confused, and started to yell words of order.

“What is going on? Who started this?!” I heard General Seokjin’s voice shouting.

“I did,” I said immediately, approaching him.

Everyone went silent, watching the scene. We stared at each other. General Seokjin seemed about to explode.

“And what right did you-”

“A person in a leadership position was breaking the rules from the work-policy and about to punish a worker with violence,” I cut him before he could say anything, what just made him more exasperated. “All I did was prevent it to happen. As one of the highest ranked members of the Royal Guard, I am sure Sir General knows I have the power to do so.”

I always had the power to do so, but you acted as if I couldn’t, as if I had no privileges and no rights.

“Your duty is exclusively towards His Majesty. You can’t just get involved in situations that has nothing to do with you and think you won’t be punished afterwards.”

“You’re right,” I crossed my arms. “But before deciding any punishment, you have to tell about my ‘misbehavior’ with my superior. And that is the King himself. So, please, Sir General, go ahead and tell him. Tell him what I did.”

There was a mix of pure anger and complete surprise in General Seokjin’s eyes. I never dared to speak this way – so blatant, so challenging. I was not afraid to face Taehyung. I was not afraid of anyone.

General Seokjin had to swallow his own anger and his will to punish me physically – something he couldn’t do anymore – and nodded. “I will make sure to let him know about this. All of you, back to work! This is not your free hour!”

Slowly, the commotion dissipated and the workers went back to their tasks – however I knew that these minutes already delayed the work very much. I didn’t feel guilty for what I did, though. General Seokjin sent me a last menacingly glare before he turned around, probably heading directly to Taehyung’s room, ready to accuse me of insubordination.

I didn’t care.

Darkness already blanketed the Capital as I left the service area heading to the gardens, feeling overwhelmed. I wanted to be alone. Oddly, that anger still didn’t let me; my fists were tightened, my breathing heavy. I felt mad because of everything: the person that attacked my mind, my deal with Hoseok, the way I has been always treated my entire life, the suffering of my race, my feelings for Taehyung – the man that could not be mine, the man I would have to watch getting married the next day.

I was definitely not ready for it. But Taehyung would come to see me. I knew it.

I waited for him to come, the cozy nightly breeze embracing me. It was annoying how the weather felt perfect, and the next day it would, too – the perfect weather for the perfect wedding. At least I was alone in that moment – finally alone. I could hear the sounds of the busy palace and the crowded city, but the garden was quiet, the calming sound of the breeze touching the grass and leaves, crickets singing here and there, eventual fireflies glowing in the dark.

And come to see me he did. I got up from the bench the moment I saw his figure appearing, and the fact that my heart immediately started beating faster annoyed me. He approached me at heavy steps, eyebrows set, his entire expression as hard as stone.

He was mad.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Taehyung questioned the moment he was close enough, crossing his arms. No greetings, no velvety voice. No; he was angry because I made a mess the day before his wedding. It was the first time I saw Taehyung mad at me.

It made my chest hurt even more.

“There was no way for me to tell you, it happened too quickly at the kitchen and-”

“I’m not talking about what happened at the kitchen.” he interrupted, voice sharp. “I’m talking about your deal.”

And for a moment, it was like I lost the ability to speak.

I stared up at him, utterly shocked, eyes wide and jaw dropped. I was expecting him to be mad at what General Seokjin told him, not this - and it managed to disarm me in a matter of seconds, all of my confidence gone. No. It can’t be what I think it is...

“W-What- Who told-?” I stuttered, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Gilliard told me.” Taehyung said, his voice so uncharacteristically mad it made me feel uneasy. Of course, that old hateful man was who revealed my secret before I could.

“Your Majesty, I... I didn’t have the chance to explain...” I stupidly tried to explain myself.

“You didn’t have time to explain something like this?” Taehyung shook his head, looking at me with incredulity. He clenched his jaw, put his hands on each side of his waist. “I came here hoping you would tell me it was a lie, but I can see it’s not. Procreation, Y/N? Is this serious?!”

I flinched slightly. Taehyung said the word “procreation” with such disgust that I felt myself becoming smaller. I stared down to my feet, gulping.

“It... It was expected to happen, Your Majesty. I am a female, and my race is too rare...”

“No. This is- this is wrong,” Taehyung said, almost as if he hadn’t heard me. He walked from side to side, passing his hand on his hair angrily; his aura was a mess.

“Besides me, there are only two more female dragons, and they already had too many children. They are old. If... If I don’t do this, my race will disappear,” I said weakly again, trying to give him a plausible explanation, trying to make him understand. “If I don’t do this now, I won’t have many chances of survival in the future.”

Taehyung looked back at me at this, as if finally paying attention to what I was saying.

“Most female dragon-hybrids die giving birth,” my voice sounded as controlled as possible, but it still wavered. “The only way for us to carry a child and survive after the birth is if we impregnate at the exact date we reach the full-dragon adulthood, and it will be next week. I have a strong and healthy physique, so my chances of survival are high. It must happen, Your Majesty.”

“No.” he repeated once again, exasperated. Was he even paying attention to what I was saying? “This- what you’re saying- this is wrong, Y/N! Everything is wrong!”

The confusion inside of me grew. How could he know what was right and what was wrong? “It is the truth, Your Majesty-”

“What makes me angrier is that you didn’t tell me about this before,” Taehyung cut me off, again, as if he hadn’t heard me. “You hid this from me. You weren’t honest with me.”

In that moment, I saw disappointment in his eyes – and instead of saddening me, I felt the anger from before start to burn again. He was this exasperated because I didn’t tell him I would not be his guardian for the next nine months, that’s it. That’s what he cared about. I tightened my fists.

“And what right do you have to say this to me?” I said, a venous anger very apparent in my voice as I looked at him. We both were angry beyond words, our auras felt like fire. “You’re the one who’ve been keeping secrets from me since the beginning.”

Taehyung narrowed his eyes, and I saw the moment his demeanor wavered because of my accusation. “What-?”

“I’m not stupid, Taehyung,” his name left my mouth before I could rationalize, what made the King widen his eyes only slightly. In that moment, I couldn’t care about our positions and roles; it was just me and him, and I wanted explanations. I needed it. “You said it yourself that you have many secrets, isn’t it? You never told me why you chose me as your guardian. You just make me feel as if I’m close to you, when in fact you never tell anything to me. You have been hiding things from me since the beginning. So, what right do you have to judge me?!”

Taehyung inhaled heavily. “Don’t say this. Only if you had any idea of how sincere I have been-”

“And what right do you have to be mad because of my deal?” I cut him off; it was my turn to not let him speak, to not listen to him. “Your engagement with Princess Sana is almost the same thing, right? So why are you mad at me?”

I have been watching you step closer to your marriage in silence all this time, even though it hurt like physical pain, yet I said nothing.

“I am not mad at you! I am-” Taehyung suddenly interrupted himself, swallowing hard. He closed his eyes tightly, swiped his hand on his forehead, trying to calm himself down.

Then, he looked at me again – and I felt my entire body shivering.

Not in fear.

“You are right,” he said, voice quieter now, but his anger was muffled, jaw still tightly clenched. “You are right about everything. And yes, our situations are similar.” Taehyung stepped closer to me, making a wave of heat hit me. No, this was no good. I couldn’t think properly when he stood so close to me...

“Do you want me to marry Princess Sana, Y/N?”

My eyes widened, being caught by surprise by his unexpected question.

His gaze was too overwhelming, so I felt myself avoiding it. Why was it so hard for me to deal with Taehyung? Why this man had such a strong power over me?

“S-She is a good person,” I started and, although I wasn’t lying, my voice sounded lifeless as I pronounced these words. “She is studied and very charismatic.”

“Stop it,” Taehyung said, stepping even closer. I stepped behind.

“She has good intentions and cares for hybrids, too,” I continued, tightening my fists. Pure adrenaline rushed through my veins; the air between us seemed charged with pure electricity.

“Stop it. You’re not being honest,” he said again.

“Princess Sana is already loved by the common population and she sure is the most suitable person for this role-”

“Stop it!”

I froze in place when Taehyung suddenly put his hand in the junction where my jaw met my neck, forcing me to look up at him.

Just like that night, he was so close.

The heat radiating from his body made my inner temperature increase. His hand felt hot against my skin; my heart seemed about to explode. I couldn’t believe he was standing so close to me again. I thought about that moment millions of times – the moment when he stood so close, yet didn’t dare to close the distance between us.

He was standing close to me again, though. And this time, it hurt more than ever. Because he would get married the next day with another woman.

Why did he dare to stand so close to me now?

But differently from that night, I could see a fire on his eyes now. He analyzed my features, eyebrows set in an almost angry expression. His beauty never failed to make my lungs fail, and that time was no different.

“You’re not being honest,” Taehyung said, voice low, but still strong. “Be honest with me. Do you want me to marry Princess Sana?”

I stared up at him, unable to move.

I looked at the face of the man that awakened so many sweet, fiery and painful feelings in me. He made me feel freedom, joy and empathy for the first time. He made me feel anger, he made me understand what justice means.

That unbelievably beautiful face.

And, in that moment – when he stood so close to me, when he was able to destroy every barrier I tried to build between us – I couldn’t lie to him.

“No,” I whispered the utmost truth.

Taehyung inhaled.

He still stared at me, and his eyes held something more. Something strong and deep and dizzying. I saw those eyes sparkling with something I couldn’t quite name.

Just like that night, I saw the moment his gaze dropped to my mouth.

I saw his face getting close to mine, millimeter after millimeter. My heartbeat hammered on my ears, my entire body tense with expectation.

But this time, it was different. Taehyung didn’t blink. Taehyung didn’t waver. No one interrupted the spell that kept us together.

This time, his lips touched mine.

His lips felt soft and warm against my own; he tilted his head to the side, and the hand that cupped my jaw slipped to hold the nape of my neck. I stood there, completely stiff, because I didn’t know exactly what to do; my entire body felt impossibly hot, as if my blood became lava rushing through my veins. Taehyung moved his lips against mine, forcing me to part my own – and instead of thinking too much, I just let my instincts take control of my actions.

Taehyung wasn’t being delicate. His lips were hungry, needy, terribly passionate – and I felt that I could barely breathe. Through that kiss, I could feel a strong and blinding turmoil of feelings – anger, guilt, resolve and euphoria. His other hand rested at the small of my back and he pushed me against him so our bodies were completely smashed, making me gasp between the kiss. The hand resting on my neck grabbed my hair, keeping me in place. Every fiber of my body seemed about to explode.

My legs felt weak, and I honestly think I would have fallen if Taehyung weren’t holding me so tightly. My hands came to rest on his shoulders where I grabbed his shirt weakly, because I still wasn’t brave enough to touch him. Our lips moved in an untrained, furious synchronicity.

Taehyung was who broke the kiss, both of us running out of breath. I saw his glossy lips, the area around his mouth reddish. He looked at me with half-lidded eyes, a gaze that looked softer somehow.

“T-Taeh-” I tried to say, but was cut short when his lips smashed against mine once more. It was less hurried now, however still deep and intense. I felt as if my body was melting under his touch, my mind way too drowned in bliss to rationalize properly. His taste was intoxicating; I felt that I could kiss him forever and never get tired of it.

After pressing his lips on mine sweetly for a long moment, he finally broke apart, but still kept me glued on him. We were panting, my fingers which still held his shirt trembling slightly. He rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes, caressing my cheek with his thumb.

And we stayed like that. My emotions never felt so raw as in that moment. Taehyung was keeping me so close, my lips were still stinging from the kisses. In that moment, nothing else existed; no wedding, no deal, no insurmountable wall. We were just us. Just two people that wanted to be close to each other.

But as soon as this euphoric moment came, it went away, reality hitting me all at once, and my body started to feel cold again.

I gulped. “Why... Why did you do this?” I whispered, making Taehyung open his eyes to look at me.

“Because I wanted to,” he answered simply.

I shook my head almost imperceptibly, looking at his chest. “No. You did this to divert my attention.”

I put both hands on his chest and pushed him delicately – but instead of just accepting it, Taehyung held my arms with his hands in a swift movement. He did not put much strength; I could have pushed him away if I wanted. But the look he sent me was what made me surprised. Taehyung looked desperate, as if the idea of seeing me leave was terrifying.

“Please- Don’t go yet,” he whispered, a fragile plead.

My feet felt rooted on the ground. I didn’t move. I could not lie to myself; as much as it was painful to me, I didn’t want to leave his embrace.

But he still owned me some answers.

And I wanted my answers now.

“Taehyung,” I called quietly, and I didn’t miss how he closed his eyes at this – as if hearing me pronounce his name was a pleasing melody. “Why did you choose me? Please, don’t hide this from me anymore. Tell me the truth. Do you remember when you asked me to be honest with you?” he nodded. “I am asking the same thing from you. Be honest with me, even if the truth hurts. I- I can’t keep living if you don’t tell me the truth.”

Taehyung looked at me in silence for long moments. His gaze held so much feelings that, for a moment, I asked myself how was he able to bear all of that. Delicately, he put a strand of my hair behind my ear and caressed my cheek. I could see he was having an inner argument...

But then, Taehyung closed his eyes for a moment and sighed deeply.

When he opened his eyes again, I saw a strong resolve.

“You are right. It’s past time for you to know the entire truth,” he murmured, more to himself than to me. “I don’t even know where to begin from...”

Taehyung gulped. I looked at him in expectation.

“I chose you that day to protect you, Y/N.”

I narrowed my eyes, confusion hitting me. “Protect me? What- why would you protect me?”

“Because they wanted to get rid of you,” the confusion just condensed inside of me. Who wanted to get rid of me? Why is that? “The same people that cursed my father.”

I stiffened at this.

“What?” my voice sounded too quiet, too weak, too scared of what was about to come.

Taehyung was serious in a way I’ve never seen before.

“King Taejun didn’t die of a disease, Y/N. He was murdered.”

And with that, more than ever, I lost the ability to speak.

King Taejun? Murdered? Someone killed him? But who? And why would these people want to kill me, too...?

But, before I could voice all these questions out loud, both of us were silenced.

The thunderous sound of an explosion echoed in the air.

The ground shook so strongly that I would have fallen if Taehyung didn’t catch me in time.

And I felt a bad, horrible, nauseating feeling in my guts.

We looked in the direction of the source of the explosion – the front gates of the palace. We could already see fire, as well as the desperate and panicked yells of thousands of people.

The palace was under attack.

Without a single word, we looked at each other for one second.

We started to run.

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