#injecting a little drama into chapter 5

[anamelessfool]

Illustration by Edward Gorey for a John Bellairs story (my favorite childhood author and greatest creative influence)

A Naming (Part 5 of 5)

Rated Teen, Papa Emeritus II’s Son and Family

Tags: Halloween Hijinks, Eldest kid anxiety, Suburban Dad Secondo, Disabled Secondo, Post-retirement life, Magic Rituals, Dark Family Secrets, My AU with Secondo Being Papa from 2001-2008, Note: I have my own timeline of canon events

CW: Underage Drinking, Strong Language

It’s done! Thank you @kissingghouls for the idea. I was thiiiiiis close to naming their cat Mormor in your honor but I’m going to leave the Greatest Ghost OC up to you. I’m on AO3 the samee name with all my other fics but this site gets mad at me when I post links. Check out #anamelessfool Halloween tag for prev chapters. Comments on this post include links to prev chapters. #anamelessfool Halloween start is the beginning of this fic.

We ending on an ominous note because that’s my brand!

November 1 (Saturday)

There were two sounds that woke Paul a little too early for his liking. First, the distinctive urgent ring of the On-Call phone. Then, the roar of the old minivan in the front driveway positioned just outside his window. It was an ugly brown color and had recently hit enough miles to make it halfway to the moon. In its past life it drove kids and tubs of orange slices to soccer practice, but now it was retrofitted with latches to secure a gurney.

“Two hours left to my shift, and I get a hospital pickup call, isn't that the way,” Sandra fussed in the hallway at her husband while she hastily put on her pickup-appropriate clothing and paced. She rapped on Paul’s door. Paul groaned to the wall.

“Get up, be glad I'm not making you come with me,” his mother chided through the door. It wouldn't be the first time. It wasn't the body that disturbed him, it was more the prospect of staring at a brick wall while parked in the service lot for an hour while Sandra did paperwork. The bright side of one of those punishment drives would be no nagging from his mother on the way back; no drama while a guest was in the van, Sandra’s rules.

Paul finally dragged himself up from his bed and met his mother’s frown of disappointment in the hallway. “Honestly Paul, I gotta watch you all the time?” She was adjusting her sensible flats and brushing lint from her practical dress. “I'll be back in a couple hours— dammit will you get that phone, Sike?!”

The house phone in the kitchen rang mid-sentence, injecting the scene with an unpleasant urgency. The car warming up in the driveway, the fact she couldn't find her scarf, and the mopey look from her guilty son added to her irritation. “Just you wait, Mister Leider,” Sandra said stiffly but didn't forget to plant a quick peck on the top of his head before leaving him alone.

Paul heard the gentle murmur of Secondo answering the phone. “Yes. Yes hello. Hm. Interesting.”

He didn't want to move, preferring to stand in the hallway while sleep tugged at him. If he moved he'd catch his father’s eye and whatever interrogation would begin. House arrest, starting now.

Secondo continued. “Yes. I see. Well. Hm.”

If not for a sugar-crash stupor from all the candy his younger siblings would probably be running around the living room right now. It was just him, alone, trying to remind himself that he actually conjured some sort of ghost last night. He wouldn't know exactly until he approached his father. Until he actually faced his crimes.

“I hope we speak again in different circumstances, Marian,” Secondo stated into the phone. “You as well. Goodbye.”

The phone clicked into its cradle and Paul heard the hiss of the glass patio doors slide open as Secondo shifted to the outdoors. Day fifty thousand or whatever of his father’s weather journaling. It would be a good time to finally speak with him. He’d be in a more pensive mood.

Paul bided his time in the kitchen, wringing his hands and composing his apology in his head, his eyes drifting towards the magnets and photos on the fridge, fixating on one in particular. It was the only photo of his uncle that Paul knew about— Terzo, sitting on their couch holding his infant nephew Sam. The man had a haughty expression, his human eye as steely and daring as his Infernal one. Dark black veins radiated from the cursed eye, tracing his neck and slipping under his open shirt collar. The Eye, the same one that his own father had. Secondo’s awful black marks crazed up his spine and down his leg, hidden most of the time. His father's go-to answer for his ailments was a stroke. But Paul knew better.

His family had a dark past, a cursed past. And Paul knew at some point he'd hear the whole truth. But first…

Paul stepped onto the patio. Secondo was standing there staring at the sky as usual but instead of pen in his hand a cigarette dangled from his lips.

Secondo regarded his son with slightly raised eyebrows, a close enough expression to surprise that Paul was going to get. “I'm only having one. Promise.”

“Mom wouldn't like that.”

A small smile changed the shadows across Secondo’s face. “Hm. Now we're both in trouble.”

Paul gave a weak grin back, then began the pain of his apology. “About yesterday—“

“Simple apportation incident,” explained Secondo. “An entity moving items from one place to another.”

“And I…I made that happen…”

“Whatever ritual you were up to failed. But you called it out. Made it see you.” Secondo transferred his cigarette to the other corner of his mouth, blowing a puff into the sky. “They're interested in…large groups of teenagers. All the hormones.”

Paul felt hot behind the ears. “Oh.”

“You were more at risk attracting them being in a playground compared to a cemetery,” Secondo said. “Whatever you did got its attention. And your fear empowered it.”

“I really was afraid,” Paul admitted. “But you helped me. With all that…naming stuff.”

“Simplest magickal exercise. But powerful. There’s a lot of power in a name. The one you have, the ones you bestow on yourself and others.” Secondo paused, taking his time to consider his next words. He gave a thoughtful drag of his cigarette. “I was haunted by entities several times throughout my life. When I turned eighteen. Once I became Papa Elect. When your grandmother died. They were entities that wouldn't let go. That fed on me.”

“Why did they want you?”

“Rage. Confusion. Guilt.” Secondo turned slightly from his smoking to regard his son. “I opened the door to the unknown without an understanding of who I really was. Unknown dipping into the unknown. And the things haunting the shadows fed on that.”

“I'm…sorry. For stealing your things.”

“Be more sorry for letting the weak part of you win,” Secondo replied. He stamped out his cigarette and automatically reached for another, halting for a moment. “I’ll consider ‘Terrorized By A Paranormal Entity’ proper punishment if you only tell your mother about only one of these cigarettes.”

“Uh, sure,” said Paul. His father was subtly nervous last night, but now doubly so. Nervous enough to break his eighteen-month clean streak. Paul felt the hair begin to rise on the back of his neck. “Who was that on the phone?” This strange moment of vulnerability from his father made Paul table his own fears about his stunts last night. And he was even more surprised by how frank Secondo was in his reply.

“Terzo is out. Your grandfather Nihil is Papa now.”

Terzo, leering from the photograph. Paul didn't know much about his uncle but his smug smile in the photo said it all. “When did this happen?”

“Last night. At a performance. He was removed from the stage.”

“Why?”

“I don't know. It's not my place anymore to know.” Smoke curled from his mouth and nose in an imperceptible sigh. “I expect that now you realize why I didn't want that life for you.”

“I'm sorry,” Paul collapsed into his official apology. “I'm sorry I tried to do magic.”

“Magic? Magic isn't the thing to worry about in that place.”

There was shouting from the kitchen. The door slid open once more and their grey cat leapt out, the two younger children running after him. “Jimmy! Jimotheeee!” Yelled Sam. He was barefoot in the grass and jumped over a soccer ball in the yard. The cat darted under the fence. He’d cruise around today and return in the evening.

Eden eyed her father up and down, scowling. “You’re not supposed to do that anymore,” she chided.

“I know,” admitted Secondo. He gestured with his head out towards the yard. “Go kick the ball around with Sam, I’ll make you all breakfast soon.”

Eden threw him a smug smile and leapt onto the lawn. She kicked the ball once, yelled about her foot hurting, then her pain was all but forgotten when Sam expertly stole the ball from her. Back and forth the little ones ran, Paul wishing for a moment he could join them, carefree. But there was too much brewing in his mind. Last night with his friends— were they even friends anymore when Monday came around? And now with the cryptic words of his father.

Secondo reached out his arm, gesturing for Paul to come close. Paul sank into Secondo’s side, his head on his shoulder. Secondo rested his large hand on his son’s head, and the weight of that gesture coupled with the oddly comforting scent of the burning smoke soothed Paul, at least for now. “You do so much for me, son.” Paul felt the words deep in his father’s chest. “I can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s nothing,” said Paul, but Secondo’s words were everything.

“Paul, promise me you’ll look after your siblings,” said Secondo. “Help them. Even when you’re not sure how.”

“Are you going to help uncle Terzo?”

“I don’t know,” replied his father. “But no matter what I swear all of you will be safe. It’s what I’ve done for a decade. And it’s what I’ll keep doing.”

Eden and Sam collapsed onto the grass, laughing, then jumped up to scream about their pajamas getting damp with dew. Their voices were muffled in Paul’s ears as he thought of his father’s words. In his solid arms he felt safe and his father was an honest man for better or worse. Yes, he’d protect them. Even if he didn’t know how. But somehow he sensed he did.

“What do you think is going to happen?” Paul asked, his voice a near whisper.

“Who knows,” said Secondo. He stubbed out his final cigarette and stared at the sky. “But I sense dark clouds rolling in.”

Thank you! Like? Reblog! Check out my AO3 for more!

Happy Halloweekend!

[separatist-apologist]

They Say I Did Something Bad

Then why's it feel so good?

Summary: Eris Vanserra is in the house

Chapter 3: They Love Me

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Read on AO3

for @sjmkinkmeme

The estate Lord Vanserra possessed was nothing like Elain imagined. She’d pictured some backwoods cabin half buried in the ground. In truth, it was a sprawling marble thing that looked as if it ought to belong to royalty. The sun glimmered off the stone, reflecting outwards in a rainbow of colors scattered over the hilly lawn. The inside was just as lovely, open and airy which Elain preferred. No heavy curtains obscured the natural light and the furniture was arranged in such a way to maximize that sunshine. Lucien left her bags with his staff, lined up outside his home to meet their new mistress. She’d never seen so many people responsible for maintaining one household and the sight reminded her that her home probably ought to have just as many people. They could not afford it.

It was why she was Lady Vanserra instead of Lady Archeron. Absently, Elain wondered if her father had already begun to rebuild his empire or if he had turned his gaze towards his other daughters, having had such good luck with her? 

“I’ll leave you to it,” Lucien murmured, gesturing towards his housekeeper. The woman was much younger than Elain had expected, and lovely to boot. Her blonde hair was twisted neatly against the nape of her neck, her blue dress modest despite the unusually warm autumn day. 

“Lady Vanserra,” his housekeeper murmured, glancing at the other staff. Lucien’s steward and butler trailed after him, likely interested in updating him on what had happened in his absence. “This way, if you don’t mind.”

The housekeeper was typically an older woman, someone in charge of the female staff of the house. This woman couldn’t have been five years older than Elain’s twenty-two. “My name is Arina.” Elain smiled. She needed allies here, if nothing else. Everything she knew about Lucien centered around making his body feel good. Here was a woman who likely had known him her whole life, who had grown up on this estate and risen quickly through the ranks because she’d proven herself trustworthy. Elain didn’t want to make an enemy of her.

“It’s wonderful to meet you,” Elain assured her, following her through the halls. 

“How is Velaris?” Arina asked, making small talk as they began the tour of the rather large estate. Lucien had not lied when he called it large.

“Unchanged, I’m certain,” Elain reassured Arina. “Please, tell me everything I need to know about…”

“The Forest House,” Arina supplied. “Absolutely.”

Elain didn’t expect this woman to tell her all of Lord Vanserra’s secrets. Arina, carrying a clipboard in her hand, seemed far too professional to risk making an enemy of the new Lady, besides. Instead, Arina walked Elain through a typical day in the house as she showed Elain all the most interesting places. A ballroom big enough to host at least two hundred guests, a formal and informal dining hall, depending on her preferences. A drawing room with a piano that led to the back gardens and even a library that would have made her eldest sister weep with satisfaction. 

As they walked, Arina introduced Elain to everyone, from laundresses to gardeners, Arina knew them all. Elain could not keep track of the names and wished they wore name tags, or, at least, she had thought to write them down. As they walked, Arina passed Lucien’s study where he already sat, peering at a stack of papers with studious interest. He didn’t look at her at all, even when she paused and came to the doorway. Arina kept a respectful distance and when it was clear Lucien had no intention of acknowledging her, Elain pressed on.

“Do you require anything?” Arina asked, only stopping once they reached Elain’s chambers in the west wing of the house. “Where does the lord reside?” she asked. Arina nodded.

“On the opposite end of the house, lady. The west had traditionally been the domain of Lady Vanserra. Would you like me to move your things to his suite?”

“No,” Elain assured her. “No, I just…I was merely curious.” “Of course. If you need anything from me, I am at your beck and call.”

Elain was unaware of just how truthful the words would prove to be. She did not see Lucien for a full three days in any true capacity. She walked past his office every day to find him working. He never acknowledged her and Elain, unsure what, if anything, he required of her, didn’t bother to intrude. Instead she became Arina’s constant shadow. Arina managed household expenses, among other things, and with no prodding at all, offered to let Elain see the ledgers. No one had ever let her so close to figures and yet Arina cheerfully declared it was Elain’s right to know how money was spent.

Arina took Elain to the nearby village on her second morning. “In truth, we probably should have asked the Lord to accompany you,” Arina admitted. “But he’s been gone so long, I imagine there is much to consider.” “He said he did not like this house,” Elain confided, wondering if it was wise to tell a servant a secret. In the city, household help was notorious  for gossiping , trading information like currency. Arina didn’t seem the type and still, Elain ought to have assumed she was, if only to protect her and her husband from scrutiny.

“I imagine not,” Arina interrupted Elains’ thoughts. “My mother was a housekeeper before me and I grew up in that house. The Duke was a cruel man, which I guess you must have realized and all his children were afraid of him. He brought them every winter for Christmas and departed each Spring. We were relieved when he passed the estate along to his son,” Arina added, her cheeks flushing. Elain wondered if Arina didn’t think him handsome. THe thought sparked the tiniest prick of jealousy in her chest.

“What was he like as a boy?” Elain couldn’t help but ask. Arina smiled.

“A menace. That’s what my mother used to say, anyway. You’ll forgive me for being so–”

“No need to apologize,” Elain assured her as they walked the dusty streets of the village market. Elain paused to examine a lovely bushel of red apples. “You can speak freely.”

Arina clearly did not believe that, if her narrowed green eyes were any indication. Still, Arina plucked a few coins from the pouch on her wrist so Elain could purchase what she liked. “He was wild. His mothers favorite. His father loathed him, of course—”

“Because he was her favorite?” Elain questioned. Arina’s brows knitted together. 

“They informed you so poorly. How did you meet Lord Vanserra?”

“It was arranged for me,” Elain admitted, placing five pretty apples in her basket. She was resolved to make Lucien a pie and draw him from his work, if only for a moment. “We did not meet before our wedding.”

A pretty lie but Arina did not need to know everything. Arina nodded, sighing softly. “There have always been rumors, though I think if the Duke could prove it, he would have banished his wife long ago. Lucien does not look like his father, don’t you think?”

“That is a blessing,” Elain was quick to retort. Arina nodded her agreement.

“Yes, everyone thinks so, just as they believe he is likely not Beron’s son at all. A bastard,” she added, as if Elain was too simple to understand.

“But his father claimed him,” Elain protested, strangely outraged on the exhausted-looking Lady Vanserra’s behalf. 

“Yes. To do otherwise was to admit his wife cuckolded him. I don’t think the Duke could bear the shame. He has always been particularly cruel to his youngest son, though, and this estate is proof of that. Lucien has made it prosperous once again, but when he inherited it, the village was impoverished and there was risk of true rebellion.”

“They seem to like him well enough,” Elain murmured, wondering if it was safe to be there. Arina nodded.

“Well…you’ve seen him. Lord Vanserra is kind. He has not raised rents like many others do and allows the farmers to sell outside of just this village. Taxes are also reasonable. In exchange, we get a much fairer price on meat and dairy. Everyone is very excited he’s brought home a wife as well. It means he’ll be around more often.”

Elain nodded, drinking in the cute little houses with their pointed red roofs and the cheerful little planter boxes now empty with impending winter. She pulled her silvery blue cloak a little tighter around her neck.

“Did you ah…” Arina trailed off, her cheeks pink again. “Did you happen to see Eris Vanserra before you left?”

“For a brief moment,” Elain admitted, studying the woman carefully now. “You know him, too?”

“Barely,” Arina insisted quickly, despite the blush of her cheeks. “He was older than me when I was growing up. He ah…how has he settled into marriage, then?”

Elain frowned. “Eris isn’t married.” Arina’s hands twisted nervously in front of her stomach. “No?”

“He was engaged and it ended. I’m told he was not kind about it,” Elain added, thinking perhaps she had been wrong as to which Vanserra Arina found to be handsome. Elain could not imagine it. To be fair, she had not studied the eldest of the Vanserras, given her focus was on the youngest. Perhaps Arina had an ill-placed crush that had never quite abated. 

“Oh.” Arina said nothing more regarding Eris and Elain was not stupid enough to push. Chatter shifted towards other families and matters. Arina informed Elain that Lord Tamlin was rumored to be looking for a wife and wondered rather openly how he had managed to avoid Elain. She imagined, though she didn’t say it, that Tamlin lacked the money of the Vanserras.

Lucien was proving to be decent enough. On her third night, she heard his boots echoing down the hall late into the night. The handle to her door turned and Lucien stepped inside, shrouded in darkness. He was still dressed in one of his fine coats though his hair was unbound around his face. She did not move and after a moment, Lucien stepped out as if he’d thought better of the entire thing. 

In the morning, Elain anticipated another breakfast alone. She was surprised to find Lucien waiting at the rounded table, the newspaper propped up on the mahogany surface. A plate of eggs and meat was half touched and a ceramic mug of coffee curled steam towards the unlit chandelier overheard. He looked over the top of his paper when she stepped in.

“Good morning,” he offered, gesturing for her to come sit beside him. Elain did, nearly tripping over her lilac dress as she did so. “Did you sleep well?”

“I–yes?” she asked, looking behind her at the open windows. Was she still dreaming? “Did you?”

“Leave us,” Lucien suddenly ordered the room, his voice clear and punctuated with cold authority. The servants immediately obliged, closing the wooden double doors behind them. Elain took a breath, wondering if this was the moment the other shoe dropped. Perhaps now that she was firmly entrenched in his life, Lucien felt comfortable treating her however he liked.

He set his paper to the side, pushing the food away from them so he could lean on the table. There were no fine clothes today. Lucien wore a white shirt, the sleeves rolled to his elbows, and a pair of well-fitted brown trousers.

“I sleep terribly,” he told her, eyes searching her face. “I have been neglecting you and by the time I realized you were living in my house, unfucked, you were fast asleep.”

“Oh,” she breathed, truly unsure where he was going with his little speech. Lucien studied her for a moment.

“I took myself in my hand instead and all the while, all I could think of was you,” he continued, unaware of how each new word was filling her with heat. “I decided I would have you for breakfast.”

“I’m sorry?” she replied, certain she must have heard him wrong. Lucien’s mouth curled upwards with amusement.

“Come here, Elain. Come sit on the table for me.”

“You’re mad,” she whispered, glancing towards the windows. “Anyone might see us.” “It is hardly a secret what happens between husbands and wives,” Lucien replied with a lazy smile, pushing his chair backwards across the swirling blue and green rug. “Please, wife. Don’t make me beg you.” “You wouldn’t beg,” Elain retorted just a shade too hotly. Lucien shook his head.

“Oh, but I would.”

Elain took a large gulp of air. “Then do it, Lord Vanserra. Get on your knees and beg.”She had the sense he’d say no. That it was a game she had taken too far and now he’d simply have his way. Lucien stood, the muscles in his forearms flexing, and Elain braced herself to be hauled up onto the table anyway, to be spread out for his amusement. Their eyes locked—Elain in her chair practically clutching the wooden arms and Lucien standing above her without an ounce of humor in his expression—before he sank to one knee, and then the other. Elain knew he heard the soft gasp of air expelled from her lungs.

“Wife,” he murmured, sliding the hem of her dress up her shins. “Please let me eat you for breakfast.”

Elain turned in her chair, raising her leg until her slippered foot was pressed against his throat. He was enjoying himself far too much. “You’ve been ignoring me,” she complained softly. 

“Get on the table, wife,” Lucien said for the second time. Elain dropped her foot and Lucien, realizing what she was about to do, shook his head.

“I’ll catch you,” he warned just as she flew from her chair. Elain didn’t know what prompted her to do it. The thought of him racing her down the halls, of tackling her and having his way was so disturbingly arousing that Elain scrambled backwards, shoving the chair between them as she ran for the door. She didn’t make it. Lucien was faster, wrapping his arms around her torso and lifting her feet off the floor. His mouth was immediately on her neck, licking from her collarbone to her ear as he walked her deftly back to the dining table. Lucien dropped her on top of it, one arm pressed against her chest.

“I begged, just like you asked,” he complained, his eyes glittering with want. “And still you run from me.”

“Next time I’ll be quicker,” she whispered. Lucien grinned, tugging at the neck of his shirt before pushing apart her knees.

“Next time you should do it on the lawn,” he replied, sinking back into his chair. He pulled her to the edge of the table and for a moment, Lucien truly did look as if he were about to eat breakfast. Fascination crept through her stomach as Lucien wrapped his arms around her legs and dipped his head. He hadn’t bothered to remove her underthings—Lucien just licked straight through the fabric, apparently determined to tease her.

“Am I being punished?” she asked, writhing when he didn’t her underwear off her body. She wanted more, was hot and needy, had all but forgotten anyone might wandered by the side of the house and find the Lord of the estate taking his time with his spread out wife. 

“Why don’t you come to see me at night?” he asked, his breath hot against her skin. Elain moaned.

“Because I hate you, remember?” “You hate my cock?” he questioned, licking another stripe over the cloth that covered her. “I don’t think that's true.”

“Is your cock independent of you?” she gasped, reaching for his hair. Lucien groaned softly when she yanked at the strands of his hair, pulling it from the leather strap he’d bound it with. 

“Yes,” he murmured, hooking his finger through the band of her panties. “It has its own thoughts and opinions on things…you may insult me, but my cock is very fond of you and if you do not reciprocate its feelings, it will be very put out.”

He dipped a finger into her body, crooking it until he found the exact spot he was looking for. Elains back arched involuntarily and Lucien chuckled with satisfaction. “Say you like my penis, Elain.”

“I like it,” she panted. 

“And they say romance is dead,” he murmured, kissing her cunt sweetly. She shoved his face closer.

“Stop talking,” she whispered, squeezing tight around his finger. Lucien obliged, utterly compliant whenever it came to pleasure. Suddenly, it didn’t matter who might see them or if it was wrong to desecrate the breakfast table as they were. It took a breathless minute to realize she was having fun. It was fun to be pinned beneath his mouth, his tongue taking its time swirling lazy circles over her clit. He was treating her like the finest meal and something about it made Elain happy.

Perhaps it was the attention he was suddenly paying her. He was busy, likely had other things he needed to do and yet there he was, carving vast pockets of time from his day to see her. He could have simply demanded she make herself available to him later that evening. She’d seen her father do that far too often when she was a child. Her mother would pale for a moment while she and her sisters immediately scattered to the wind, desperate not to get caught in her mothers resulting storm. 

She always knew when Lucien���s control began to fray. His once patient, slow mouth became faster, more frantic, more concentrated on the nub of flesh apexed at her thighs. It was as if he were suddenly overwhelming hungry and could no longer control how he went at her. She liked his best this way, though she never would have admitted it. Elain moaned in encouragement, her orgasm cresting in bright white sparks just behind her eyelids. Lucien’s eyes snapped open, meeting her gaze and with a quick hook of his finger, Elain came with an embarrassing scream she was certain the whole house must have heard.

Lucien scrambled upwards, flipping her to her stomach as he fumbled with his pants, 

“You can’t truly mean to…” her words died when he all but slammed himself into her body, using his booted foot to spread her legs as he bent her over the breakfast table.

“I mean to have you everywhere,” Lucien grunted, his hips snapping against her body. The union of their sticky flesh echoed around the room, shaking the silverware beneath them. “On the table, on the floor, against the wall,” he continued, fingers digging in her hips as he drove into her. “This house shall be haunted with the memories of it.”

Elain pressed her forehead against the cool table, her body still convulsing from his mouth. Lucien groaned loudly, his fingers likely leaving dimpling bruises against her skin. “I need you at night,” he continued when Elain began to move with him, angling herself so his cock continued to slide over the sensitive place inside her body. Lucien was always demanding she use him and she’d become far too accustomed to coming multiple times. 

“You know where I sleep,” Elain replied, so close it was almost painful. “Wake me up if you must.” “I fucking will,” he whispered. They came within a second of the other, the squeeze of her body likely setting off his own. She liked when Lucien came. It was erratic and messy, so at odds with how controlled he seemed to be. It was as if he became a slave to his baser urges, driven purely by need and instinct.

Lucien pulled himself from her body, yanking her with him into the chair.

“What are your plans for the day?” he asked, his heart hammering against his skin. He was flushed, messy and undone. Handsome, she decided. Utterly, and impossibly handsome.

“I was going to bake a pie.”

That seemed to amuse him. “My wife can bake, can she? How charming.”

“No need to tease, Lucien,” she replied, some of her good will slipping into uncertainty. Lucien kissed her cheek.

“I am not teasing you. Not this time,” he assured her. “Bring me a slice when you finish?” “I would hate to bother you,” she hedged, catching the flash of disappointment in his features.

“You are allowed,” he offered. The post-glow of sex was wearing off, reminding them they were not friends. They were merely strangers with a bargain between them and would, at some point, be merely two people sharing a last name. It would be foolish to get too attached to him. Elain willed herself to ice as she nodded.

“I was also going to invite your brother down.” 

Lucien went still beneath her. “Eris?”

“Yes, Eris. And your mother…my sisters, too? If you don’t mind hosting–”

“What do you need of Eris?” Lucien gingerly set her back to her feet, his distrust plain. Elain didn’t want to admit she was inviting him to see if he, too, had a little crush on her housekeeper. She was certain Lucien would not find it half as charming as Elain did. 

“Am I not allowed to get to know your family better?” Elain asked, sitting in her chair from before. Lucien hesitated, his jealousy both obvious and absurd. She was married to him, was dripping his come down her leg, and he was stewing in the possibility that perhaps she meant to sample his brother, too.

It was offensive and it irked her. “It’s your house,” he finally dismissed. “Do as you like.”

“I have your permission?” she questioned. Lucien frowned.

“One day you will sit me down and tell me the truly ugly details of your fathers marriage. Until that day, however, please hear me when I assure you that I do not care who you invite to our home…so long as it is not my father.”

“So…don’t ask your mother?” Elain questioned, biting her bottom lip. Lucien exhaled, setting his fork back to the table.

“Their marriage is complicated and I don’t want him here…I don’t want him around you.”

That stung. “You truly think I am so depraved I would–”

“Not you,” Lucien interrupted, his expression dark, ugly. “Him. He cannot be around you.”

Elain swallowed. “Oh.”

“I will write to Eris and see if he cannot bring mother himself. Father likes to lose himself in his little affairs. Perhaps it will escape his notice. As for your sisters…perhaps a party to celebrate.”

“Celebrate what, exactly?”

Lucien’s expression shifted from anger to curiosity. “Your father informs you of matters quite poorly, doesn’t it?”

Elain’s stomach dropped. “I am already married.”

“Yes, fortunately for you. It seems Lord Tamlin has made an offer for your youngest sister—” “Feyre?” Elain exclaimed with a laugh. “You jest.”

Lucien chuckled, sipping his lukewarm coffee while Elain pulled a platter of fruit towards herself. 

“I assure you I don’t. I wouldn’t wish the Baron on anyone, not even your feisty sister. We could host an engagement party of sorts.” “She will never marry him,” Elain said with supreme satisfaction. “I know her. She will run away before she ever walks down that church aisle.” Lucien shrugged. “Invite them anyway. Invite all of society. Let them see what a lovely match we make.”

Elain looked at him and Lucien shrugged. “Doting husband, remember?”

Of course. Elain was no longer hungry as she stood. “I should clean myself up,” she told him, watching his eyes drift down her body. “I will see you later.”

“You will,” Lucien agreed. 

Elain didn’t dare to look back.

**

Lucien had hoped marriage would be simple. He could seek out his wife when he wanted her and ignore her when he didn’t. He made it all of three days before his self-control shredded and he fucked her on the breakfast table like an animal. He regretted none of it, other than his original avoidance. Elain was under his skin like a scratch he couldn’t quite itch. How long, he mused, until the urge to have her passed and he could get back to his life?

Never, at this rate. Far from slaking his lust, each new sexual encounter only made him want more. It was a new and not entirely comfortable feeling. He very rarely wanted the same woman more than once and to learn it was his wife currently driving him towards madness did not sit well with him.

Elain was utterly unaware, bouncing around the house without a care in the world. For two weeks she charmed his staff, planning the ball she intended to host in another two weeks. Time was moving impossibly fast even as it felt no time had passed at all. Elain made herself at home as if she’d always lived there, worming her way into his life as if she’d always been a part of it. Lucien could scarcely remember how he’d functioned without her which worried him.

The Forest House was peppered with the horrific ghosts of his childhood. He’d begun exploring the once familiar places, if only to see himself as a boy. He took Elain with him, showing her the path cut through the forest that would lead to the tall, iron gate at the very back of the property or walked her through the garden explaining his mothers careful care while Elain took literal notes on a clipboard.

In the village, men tripped all over themselves to speak to the Lord's wife and Elain indulged it all with a sweet smile. Women were kind, bringing her their problems which Elain immediately turned around and dumped in his lap with a scowl, as if he ought to somehow be able to read each villager's mind. He’d caught her out in the field one particularly chilly day with a gaggle of children, teaching them to braid little flower crowns while they giggled and shrieked. He did not know what to do with her or the knowledge that she charmed everyone else so easily…and had begun to charm him, as well. 

For a well-bred Lady, Elain had no qualms about getting in the dirt. The steward complained she was often up too early digging weeds out of the garden with her bare hands and more than once, Elain had presented him with a beautifully latticed pie made entirely on her own. He found himself seeking her out more often than he wanted to, curious as to what she did and how she spent her time when he was not around. He wasn’t just the sex anymore, though he often found clever little ways to convince her to lift her skirts. 

It was what dragged Lucien from his office that particular night. HIs brother and mother were set to arrive in the morning, which meant he’d have to stop fucking his wife at the breakfast table. The notion disappointed him. He wondered if he might convince her to move into his bedroom, at least until they left, so he could put them in the east wing where Lucien and Elain would not be overheard.

He found her lounging in her bed, dressed in a pretty pink night dress. Lucien’s head emptied of all thoughts at the sight of her clingy little dress just barely hugging the curve of her ass.  “Did you bring the mask this time?” Elain asked, glancing towards the leather straps still hanging casually from her bedposts. He’d let her tie him up again the night before.

“No,” he replied, shaking his head. What was wrong with him? “I saw Arina today.”

“I see her everyday,” Elain replied, setting the book she was reading on the night table beside her bed. 

“Yes, you two are quite the pair, aren’t you?”

“If you’ve come to say we cannot be friends, I will–” “Stab me, yes,” he interrupted impatiently, catching the outrage in her expression. “Be honest with me. Have you asked to invite Eris because you want him and Arina to see each other?”

Elain’s cheeks immediately flushed.

“Of course not.”

“Liar,” he replied, crossing the room to sit on her bed. His fingers twitched with the want to touch her. “And here I was thinking you would be meddling in your sister's life.”

“Feyre can handle herself,” Elain insisted. “You’ll see. There will be no wedding to Lord Tamlin of all people. He’s so…so…”

“Bland,” Lucien agreed. Elain looked at him for a moment, eyes narrowing.

“You assaulted him, did you not?”

Lucien shrugged. “He had something to say about my mother.”

Elain scooted closer. “He said something about your mother?” she questioned. Lucien scowled. Tamlin had implied his mother would get hit less if she spoke more and Lucien, who’d seen the fresh bruises on her face, had lost his temper in a regretful sort of way. It only confirmed the worst rumors about him and his brothers—they were no better than their father.

“Feyre will hate him if he doesn’t respect women,” Elain continued when it was clear Lucien would not be expanding on why he’d spent an evening in the stockyards. 

“Feyre will be given no choice in the matter. Lord Tamlin is well aware of her reputation and claims not to care. She should be grateful–” “Grateful?” Elain hissed, withdrawing from him as though he’d struck her. Lucien ran a hand through his hair, immediately irritated.

“Yes, Elain. Whether you like it or not, these things matter—” “Should I be disappointed, then?” she asked him, so close to the edge of her bed she seemed in danger of falling off. Lucien hoped she did, if only to inject a little comedy to the moment. Why couldn’t she ever assume good intentions? She almost imagined the least charitable interpretation of his words. 

“You are disappointed, Elain. You remind me every single day,” he replied plaintively. “Come sit in my lap.”

“No! Feyre can do better than Lord Tamlin,” she added, unaware that when she crossed her arms over her chest, it made her breasts practically pop out of her night dress. Lucien was openly staring.

“I never said she couldn’t. I only meant she’s unlikely to get a better offer—” “Why does she need one?” Elain demanded. “I got married, did I not? Feyre and Nesta should be allowed to complete the season.”

Lucien shrugged, ignoring the way disappointment slid through his veins. She’d married him because she’d been made to, because she had no choice, and perhaps because she believed it would spare her sisters a similar fate. He wished, strangely, she’d also married him because he was tolerable to her. 

“Perhaps your father ran the costs in his mind and decided it was more economical to marry you all off.” Elain’s anger seemed to melt right off her face, leaving genuine hurt in its wake. “That sounds like him.”

Lucien sighed. “Will you come here now?” 

Elain looked up, dark lashes fanned around her even darker eyes. Lucien gestured for her, letting her see slick amusement and nothing else. She hesitated and he swallowed how much he hated her distrust, his fingers beckoning her. Elain relented, crawling quickly over the mattress until he caught her and dragged her the rest of the way into his lap. 

“Are you happy now?” she asked, too rigid, too grumpy.

“With you?” he teased. “Never.” 

She squirmed, scowling darkly for all it mattered. He merely tightened his hold.

“Tell me the truth, now. Are you meddling in my brother's love life?”

“She seems to care for him,” Elain admitted. Lucien poked her in the ribs. “She is…”

“Don’t you dare say it,” Elain whispered, twisting to look up at him. “She is lovely.” “Beron would kill her,” Lucien finished. “Even if Eris wanted her, which I’m not certain he does, Beron would kill him, and Eris knows it. You should have come to me first. All you’ve done is heap hurt onto Arina’s shoulders. She knows her station, Eris knows his.”

Elain’s eyes were so round and innocent, so utterly sweet he wished wildly for a better world, if only to stop seeing how disappointed she often was. Lucien couldn’t help himself as he caressed her face. 

“I’ll help your sister,” he said despite his better judgment. “If your father needs money, I can send it.”

Elain exhaled a breath, relaxing against his body. Relief flooded his veins when she tucked her head beneath his chin. “That’s kind of you, Lucien.”

He would have done far more, he wanted to say. He was trying, he wanted to remind her. In his own strange, stupid way. He said nothing, unwilling to admit she was having an effect on him he didn’t entirely hate. He needed to get out of his own head. 

“You will stop meddling,” he told her sternly. Elain rolled her eyes, flicking him in the cheek to punctuate her annoyance. 

“Are you ordering me to?” she asked him, her eyes burning with sensuality.

“Be careful, wife,” he crooned, his body immediately taking notice of how she shifted in her lap so she was rubbing against his penis. He wasn’t hard yet, though his hand flew to her breast all the same, pinching her nipple through the thin fabric.

“Or what?” Elain demanded, teeth grazing the stubble on his neck.

“Or I’ll bend you over the dresser and spank you,” he all but growled. Far from fear, Elain offered a breathy little gasp and he wondered if she didn’t mean to run. He kept hoping she would, that he’d see her in the hall and she’d just take off so he could fuck her up against one of those ugly, expensive portraits of a long-dead ancestor.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Elain breathed, grinding herself against him. Lucien pushed her chestnut hair off her shoulders, nipping the skin beneath her ear. “Try me.”

“You’re a coward,” she goaded, the little minx. Lucien chuckled, so immensely pleased. Tightening his grip around her, Lucien dragged them both from the bed. Elain squirmed, playing her little game in which she pretended to resist him. He wondered what it said about him that he liked making her submit almost as much as he liked when she pressed her foot to his neck and demanded he beg to taste her. 

Lucien bent her over the white wood of her vanity, enjoying the sight of her breasts pressed against the surface and reflected back at him through the mirror. He pushed up her nightgown, tired of constantly fucking her in clothes. Writhing against his hold did nothing to stop him from revealing her bare body—it only served to make him harder.

“You asked for this,” he reminded her, palming her curved ass cheek. For only a moment Lucien hesitated, suddenly afraid of what it would mean to strike his wife. Elain turned, looking over her shoulder with a soft expression. 

“Do your worst,” she murmured, her eyes offering silent permission despite the unspoken rules of the game. “I’m not afraid of you.” His knees trembled when she said it. Lucien rubbed again, spreading her apart just enough to look at her, barred and quivering and willing.

He brought his hand down with a satisfying smack. Her whole body went tight for a moment, head dropping against her forearm. He couldn’t see her face, hidden beneath the loose curls of her long hair. “This is what you wanted,” he reminded her, admiring the print of his hand blooming on her cheek. “How many, Elain?”

“Ten,” she whispered, surprising him. “I’ve been so bad.” Lucien’s mouth dried, his eyes rolling backwards in his head. “You have,” he agreed, his other hand holding her waist. He landed another hit on the opposite cheek as his cock solidified in his pants, straining to be released. Elain whimpered, rising up on her tiptoes, legs spread wider. Lucien rubbed the little hurt with his hand, unable to resist sliding his hand along the long seam of her. His fingers brushed against the puckered hole of her ass, eliciting another gasp. He pressed his thumb ever so slightly, gauging her reaction. Would she let him use her this way? Or did Elain have a hard limit somewhere? 

This wasn’t the place to push her, only to introduce her to the concept. He continued down, groaning softly when he felt the gathering wetness. “You’re not supposed to enjoy being punished,” he crooned, slipping his finger inside her all the same. He was a masochist, unable to resist feeling her clench around him.

“I hate you,” she lied, so tight he could feel it burning against his cock. Lucien withdrew without preamble, spanking her yet again. He caught her face in the mirror when she looked up, her cheeks flushed, eyes glowing with pleasure. She was absurd, so obscenely beautiful he didn’t know what to do with her. Lucien would be lucky to get to five, let alone ten. 

“You want me,” he told her, leaning against her back so she could feel his erection. He gathered her hair in his fist, arching her back so he could lick the side of her neck. “You’re already soaked.” 

Their eyes met in the mirror, their thoughts reflected back at them. Elain thrust her breasts forward, gripping the edge of the vanity so he could see the way her pink nipples brushed against the wood.

“Fuck, Elain,” he breathed, shedding himself of his clothes as she spread her legs wider and manuvered her hair so he could have a truly unparalleled view of her. Wishing there was a mirror on the floor so he could watch from every angle, Lucien slicked the swollen head of his cock through her wetness, teasing her clit with his sensitive, soft skin. Elain moaned, eyes fluttering shut. 

It occurred to Lucien, as he pushed into his wife, that he might never tire of her. That there was no novelty to Elain, nothing inherently different that would eventually pass. Perhaps this was more than just lust. That, more than anything, terrified him more than he was willing to admit. Wanting her and knowing it would slow, that eventually he’d get bored and move on, made Lucien feel safe. Secure. She couldn’t hurt him if this was only temporary. He couldn’t lose her to another man, to time, to a cruel and capricious world that might one day decide to take her for simply no reason at all.

Elain moaned, drawing him back to the present. Lucien did what he did best and swallowed his concerns in favor of enjoying himself. There was nothing finer that being buried in her body, of feeling the proof of her arousal dripping against his cock. He was certain there were dozens of men who would have killed to so casually reach for her hip, to pull her roughly against him so he could drive deeper, could feel every glorious inch of her body. He was mesmerized by the sight of her, at her bouncing breasts and her flushed cheeks, her parted lips. 

“That’s it,” he crooned. “Take what you need.” “I need you to touch me,” she panted, still on her tiptoes. Lucien reached for one of her legs, holding it in the air while sliding the other around to rub against her clit. Elain whimpered, clenching so tight he could barely breathe. 

“Come for me,” Lucien demanded, dragging toward the edge despite his best intentions. She’d stolen his stamina like she’d taken everything else. “Elain, sweetheart—”

She screamed, nails scraping against the wood. He exploded beneath the sight of her orgasm, pumping hard release into her body. He was grunting, pulling her too rough against him and still Elain took it without complaint the way he’d once thought she might. 

This was the part he hated. Pulling himself out of her body, the redressing and slipping back into the awkward, unsure pair too quick to fight. He’d leave her here when what he really wanted was to pack her things up and move her into his bedroom. It was not done, unheard of. Men thought it made them weak, stripped them of their most basic rights but Lucien wanted to wake up with her nestled against him like they’d been in the inn. She’d been so sweet, so warm, her cheek pressed against his bicep, her back curved against his chest.

He didn’t dare ask. Lucien merely pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Sleep well.”

“You as well,” she agreed, holding her nightdress against her body. Lucien willed himself to walk away.

Willed himself not to think of her at all.

**

Eris Vanserra arrived the next morning with his mother and no one else. As to what Lucien had said to entice him into coming, Elain did not know. The elder Vanserra was nothing like his brother and in retrospect, Elain wondered how she had never noticed. Lucien, who was tall and muscular, greeted his leaner, shorter brother. Not that Eris didn’t dwarf both the fragile-looking Lady Vanserra or Elain, but comparatively, Lucien was just large.

When had she begun appreciating her husband, she wondered?

“Little sister,” Eris crooned, every inch the gentleman. Here was the man who Nesta had rejected, who had the reputation of being just like his father. Lucien, too, had that reputation though over the course of a week, Elain was beginning to suspect the rumors were not as true as she’d once believed. “I hear you’re hosting a party next weekend.”

Elain looked at Lucien, who rolled his eyes behind his brothers back.

“Yes,” she agreed. 

“She’s trying to find you a wife, brother,” Lucien teased, clapping Eris’s shoulder hard. 

“And how is domesticity treating you?” Eris asked, his amber eyes firmly on Lucien as they walked from the foyer to the drawing room. 

“Wedded bliss, as they say,” Lucien replied easily. Elain didn’t know why those words made her heart pound, why her cheeks suddenly flushed with warmth. Beside Lucien, his mother, who clutched his arm for dear life, beamed with happiness. Eris seemed less convinced.

“Better you than me, I suppose,” he argued, looking around the house with a guarded expression. Elain thought of what Arina had said of their childhood. Lucien had been particularly cagey around the details and Elain knew better than to press but judging by the way Eris walked and his paler than usual expression, she didn’t think this place held any fond memories for him.

Elain meant to warn Arina that Eris was coming. She stood by the door, intending to slip out when Lady Vanserra caught her by the hand.

“Sit with me,” she asked, beaming with such radiant happiness that Elain could hardly say no. She’d just dropped to the little floral couch when Arina came in, more familiar than she would have dared had she known they had guests. Eris immediately jumped to his feet as the room fell silent.

“Lady Vanserra,” Arina said with surprise, eyes darting from Eris to his mother. “Lord ah—” “Eris,” he said quickly, an echo of his brother. Elain looked to Lucien who, to his credit, was staring pointedly out the window behind him. Elain also stood.

“Excuse me, for just a moment,” Elain offered the room. She chanced one last glance at Eris, who genuinely looked as if he’d seen a ghost. Elain strode from the room, wondering if Lucien hadn’t been right when he told her not to meddle. Arina’s tanned face was just as pale, her green eyes just as stricken. Elain followed her friend down the corridor, pulling her to the library where Arina pressed her back against the wall.

“I haven’t seen him in so long,” she gasped, sliding to the floor, knees pulled to her chest.

“I’ll send him away,” Elain said immediately, grabbing Arina’s clammy hands. “I’m so sorry, I thought—” “No!” Arina shrieked softly, shaking her head. “No. Don’t…don’t send him away. I’m only surprised, that’s all. I didn’t think he’d truly come.” Arina blinked away the glassy look from her eyes. “Don’t send him away,” she repeated. “I want to see him…I just…I don’t want him to see me.”

“Why not?” Elain demanded. Arina was beautiful, the kind of woman who turned heads everywhere she went. She would have ruined every upstanding man in Velaris, would have brought that city to its knees if she’d ever had the notion. Elain had sent the butcher's son away on not one, but three separate occasions when he’d come inquiring after Arina. Why shouldn’t Eris see her? 

“He is…” she trailed off helplessly. “If you see less of me, that is why.”

“I saw how he looked at you,” Elain insisted. “Like he’d seen a ghost.”

“I’m sure he thought so,” Arina agreed. “He made me swear I would leave this place. I promised, I…”

Arina bit her bottom lip, tugging at the skin with her teeth. “I didn’t know where else to go. I had no money and a poor education, I just…he left and I stayed.”

Elain nodded. 

“Lord Vanserra—Lucien…he made me housekeeper when my mother passed and it’s been a good job. Better, even, since you came and it’s not just boring men traipsing about. I don’t regret it. Eris was just…” Arina’s eyes were dreamy for a moment. “He was, perhaps, better left to my imagination.” Arina stood, smoothing out the blue of her dress. “I shall be fine. Don’t worry about me. Focus on that husband of yours.” “You’ll tell me if anything changes?”

“Of course.”

Elain didn’t believe Arina, though she accepted her friend's promise all the same. Trudging back to the drawing room, she caught the fleeting look of hope that crossed Eris’s face. He was so painfully obvious, so openly apparent.

“No tea?” Lucien asked, one eyebrow raised.

“You know where the kitchen is,” Elain shot back, a plan forming in her mind. Lucien had demanded she not meddle, but if the only thing separating Eris and Arina was class, surely that could be rectified. How badly did Eris truly want to become Duke? 

“Is everything alright?” Lady Vanserra questioned. Eris smoothed his expression into one of supreme boredom. He wasn’t fooling her.

“Perfectly alright,” Elain agreed. “The butcher's son is courting my housekeeper, that’s all. If he keeps this up, we’ll have another wedding on our hands before Christmas.” Lucien scowled from behind his brother's chair, eyes laser focused on Elain. 

What are you doing?! His body language demanded. Elain didn’t care, too busy studying the elder son. His face was moody and dark, fingers gripping the arm of his chair so tightly she could see the whites of his knuckles. 

Lady Vanserra, unaware of Elain’s manipulations, clapped her hands together with delight. “Oh, I remember that boy. You three used to play together. Lucien, Arina, and…what was his name?’ “John,” Eris all but ground out. “He was rather simple, as I remember.”

Elain sat beside their mother, hands in her lap. “Well, boys grow into rather dashing, intelligent men I think. John is wonderful. We are so fond of him.” “Perhaps too fond,” Lucien agreed with amusement. “I didn’t know you spoke so often to him.” “My husband is quite busy,” Elain explained. “Arina and I find all sorts of ways to amuse ourselves.”

Lucien snorted his agreement, turning his gaze back to the window. 

“It’s lovely to see the two of you getting along so well,” Lady Vanserra murmured, taking Elain’s hand in hers. “It makes me happy to see you both radiant and in love.”

Elain swallowed the panic that rose in her chest. Lucien didn’t react at all, eyes moody just like his brother. 

“It is easy,” Elain replied, not daring to look at him as she assured his mother, “To love your son.”

“He has always been a good boy,” she agreed. “A good man, too.”

“Come, mother. Your sentimentality embarasses him,” Eris interjected with more than a little amusement. “Give us a tour of the house brother. I haven’t seen it in ages.”

Elain intended to let them go together as a family, to prepare for her own sister's arrival in a few days and the party that she was wholly unprepared for. As Lucien went to the door, he caught her around the waist. She expected him to offer her snark, to say something hurtful for claiming to love him.

He threaded his fingers through her hair, drawing her close for an unexpected kiss. “Oh,” Elain whispered, looking him in the eyes, nose brushing his own. 

“Behave yourself,” he murmured, kissing her again, softer than before. It was affectionate, touching her in a place she hadn’t known existed. Elain swallowed hard, nodding while wishing he’d keep his arm around her body. He didn’t, releasing her without a hint of disappointment on his end. 

Elain watched him go with a shake of her head, wondering what was wrong with her. It was only Lucien. He touched her constantly without asking, was always pulling her into his lap or pressing his mouth against her own. The air was easier to breathe once Lucien vacated it and Elain busied herself with the morning's preparations. Her sisters were coming early, chaperoned by Lucien who was the only man their father apparently trusted their care to. He had written, stating he was far too busy to do more than drop them off. 

She supposed business had gotten better with Beron Vanserra’s patronage. If it kept Beron out of her home and let Feyre and Nesta run wild in the countryside, Elain hardly cared. The Lady Vanserra—or Amera, as she insisted Elain call her—also seemed to bloom far from her husband's dark cloud. She was all smiles, tucked between her sons as they made their barbed jokes and relived more pleasant days in the house. Elain wondered if she couldn’t keep Lady Vanserra forever. Surely Beron, who Lucien swore was always mired in one affair or another, would be grateful not to have to support her?

It was that thought that pulled Elain from her bed that night. She slipped down the halls, making her way in near darkness with nothing but a candle until she found his room. Lucien’s was the largest in the house, a series of interconnected chambers where he could work and lounge and bathe without having to be bothered. He was in bed, propped up on a wall of pillows without a shirt on. The white sheet was tangled about his waist, one bare leg pulled closer to his chest, offering Elain a mind-emptying view of his muscular thighs. Lucien looked over at her when she appeared in the doorway, setting the book he was reading in his lap.

“Is it my birthday?” he joked, immediately gesturing for her to come to him. Insatiable, was what he was and yet Elain could not help herself. She still remembered waking in the inn, tucked safe against his body. Some part of her still wanted that, though she would never have admitted it. Not when Lucien retreated back to his own bed after coming to hers for sex, not bothering to even look back at her. Elain could not make herself vulnerable in that way. She hesitated, even though she wanted to go to him. She always did, every time he beckoned her. It was a game she played with herself, telling him no. He could not have everything while he gave her so little. He could not have her unguarded affection.

Lucien sighed, running a hand through his lovely hair. “Do not make me beg,” he said, his expression plaintive. “I have been imagining you in this bed since we arrived. Indulge me.”

“When is your birthday?” Elain couldn’t help but ask, taking the tiniest step onto the braided rug his bed sat atop of.

“October thirtieth,” he answered, gesturing again for her to get into his bed. He pulled back the sheet, revealing himself to be utterly naked and this time, Elain could not resist despite her exhaustion. 

“I don’t want to have sex tonight,” she complained, letting him snatch her the moment she reached the side of the bed. Lucien pulled her into the bed and yank the blanket up over her body until merely her face remained open to the dim air. 

“You came all this way to decline my advances?” Lucien asked, brushing hair from her face. Elain swallowed hard, hating the way her heart fluttered at this new softness. When she’d once imagined being married, she had pictured moments like these. Lucien was so good at making her feel cared for. Cherished, even. Sometimes she caught him looking at her with a fondness that made her chest tight. Some part of her wanted it to be real and not the product of a too-romantic imagination.

“I came all this way to ask you if your mother could live with us permanently,” Elain replied, dragging her fingertips over the sparse hair on his chest. Lucien sighed, pressing a kiss to her scalp.

“Ah. Father would never allow it.”

Elain twisted to look at him, desperately trying to ignore how handsome he was in the firelight. “Why not? You say he is having affairs. Would it not be easier with his wife out in the countryside?”

“And who will organize his dinners? Warm his bed when his mistress is not available?” Lucien countered. “She is his most prized possession, Elain.” “She is a woman–” “She was the daughter of the most powerful Duke before he died. Father coveted her, he was obsessed with her…he still is. It would draw far too much attention to the pair of us to beg for mother to live here. When you are pregnant and it’s coming close, I intend permission for her to come and tend to you and that will keep her away for part of the year but it’s dangerous to ask for anymore.” “I do not understand,” Elain complained, settling back against him. Lucien threaded his fingers through her hair, combing softly.

“No, I imagine not,” Lucien murmured, pressing the curls to his nose. “An invitation for mother is an invitation to both of my parents. Beron will not come for the birth of a grandchild but he might just to insert himself somewhere he does not belong…to remind us both that we are still under his care and control. We are far better outside of his awareness and if I am being completely honest, I do not want him anywhere near my wife.”

Elain shivered. “She seems so happy here.”

Lucien nodded, kissing her forehead again. “You are kind to think of her. She had nothing but questions about you when I took her through the house.”

“I miss my own mother,” Elain admitted, unsure if it was wise to do so. Lucien shifted, both arms wrapped around her body. She felt heavy, head nuzzled against his arm so she could better inhale the scent of him. 

“How old were you when she died?” he asked.

“Eleven,” she whispered, dragging her lips over his skin as she said it. She didn’t want to have sex…she merely wanted to touch him without the expectation of anything else. Lucien didn’t make a sound as she kissed the muscles against his ribs, her hand flat against his stomach.

“What happened?” “Influenza,” Elain replied. “It was slow and for a while we thought she might get better.” His hand rubbed against her spine. “I’m sorry.”

Tracing the coarse line of hair from his belly button downward, Elain let herself reflect on that time. “Nesta begged father to take her to the hospital or the countryside…she would get better only to get worse, over and over. It was terrible and…” And he’d said no. He’d ignored them, making his daughters work in shifts to keep her hydrated and fed and cool. Elain had listened to Nesta rage and scream, twelve years old and already far angrier than any child should ever be. Feyre had begun sneaking out of the house then, unable to stand the tension or the way death clung to everything. Elain had been left to smooth it all out, to help in the kitchen, the garden, anywhere her mother would have overseen.

She supposed her father decided it would be easier without the wife who hated him. Nesta was certain he had purposefully let her die and Feyre had been too traumatized to ever consider his motives at all. Elain wondered if her father hadn’t begun setting her up for her own marriage years before. She had no expectation Lucien would ever take care of her, even as she clung to him, desperate that he might. 

“I should go,” she said, pushing away from him. Lucien tightened his hold again. 

“Stay,” he whispered. “I promise no sex, just…”

Their eyes met and she saw her own same pulsating fear radiating through his own eyes. Her chest constricted, heart pounding terribly in her chest. Say no! Her mind screamed it at her, reminding her she would read too much into this evening, would project her own slow blooming hopes onto his actions only to be disappointed. He did not want her, had been perfectly clear the day of their marriage.

People could change, she told herself stupidly. “Okay,” she agreed, watching his relief. “Just for tonight.”

Lucien nodded.

“Just for tonight.”

[tundrainafrica]

So I see your a LeviHan shipper!! I enjoy the ship a lot too!! But are there any specific reason that their your favorite?? Maybe you could explain that a little through a list? But anyways I hope your week has been good so far, Sav. Have a good day/night!!!! - Signed by Your Secret Santa 🎄

Hello! Thank you for asking about my week (and my ship). 

I enjoy the ship a lot too!! But are there any specific reason that their your favorite? 

To answer that first question...

You’re in for a long rollercoaster ride of a rant because I don’t think I’m the type of person to ship anything to the point of writing domestic fluff fics unless the I felt really really drawn to the ship. 

Anyway, (slight) spoilers abound! Will keep manga spoilers subtle, mostly Levihan scenes.

Disclaimer: I do not want to start shipping wars. I specifically avoided the words like should or best because I recognize that shipping is generally based on preferences. I respect everyone’s preferences on what they want out of a ship or even a relationship and through this, I just hope to express my own preferences and maybe even gush with people who agree.

1. The ship did not move the plot. The plot moved the ship.

Attack on Titan is not a romance or a shojo, if it’s not fairly obvious from any chapter you would randomly read. As a reader, I would have expected it to fall short with pairings. Most shows which are not romance based tend to have a few pairings which just suddenly end up together towards the end of the manga because “What’s a happy ending without marriage and kids?” There is usually a trend of just pairing of the extras and sometimes, or maybe even more often than not, it just seems to come out of nowhere (ehem... Naruto.). Maybe the relationship worked off screen but I dunno. Like no shipping war here but the only pairing I had full support for was Shikatema. 

In stories classified as romances, there is enough of a spotlight on the sexual tension and mutual pining of specific characters for the romance to be considered reasonable. In my opinion, some authors tend to sacrifice really good world building for a good romance. Objectively twilight for example had some crazy good world building but it just kinda focused a little too much on emo Bella and emo Edward for the world building to actually be appreciated by the casual reader. Tbh though, this is not necessarily bad because people get into stuff for reasons, sometimes, I just wanna read a good fantasy, sometimes I just wanna read a good romance.

Romances though as a main driving point for narratives, require some convenient serendipity moments and sexual tension which can be written well but as a reader, I prefer to see more natural relationships born out of necessity (Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata is a good example of what I’m talking about in a romance novel.)

Attack on Titan through its narrative actually made Levihan seem VERY VERY possible. If I had to compare the presentation of this ship in canon to at least one relationship in other anime, I would compare it to Royai from FMA. 

Like, if Attack on Titan didn’t give us random subtle hints about romantic or just platonic relationships between the two or even about anyone, even if Levi and Hange did get together in the end, it would have been one of the pairings, I probably wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow at. 

But they could be just friends? Which brings me to my next point.

2. Their current situation makes it so it’s only natural that at the least, they considered it. 

Yes. Friends is a valid interpretation for anything. I mean, given our hook up culture, people can fuck as friends too. People probably have made out drunk as friends too. Like I have seen my fair share of this type of bullshit in high school and college and I would say, we do not need a kiss or a fucking session to recognize that something can be a good relationship or to recognize that they have probably thought about it. 

A relationship requires a commitment (conscious or unconscious) to caring for the other, keeping the other safe, recognizing their flaws and thinking about them regularly (Call me scott peck or marriage counselor but like I honestly think the world would be a better place once people recognize that quality romantic relationships are worked for).

Mind you, Levi and Hange lost everything.They literally lost everything from their old life, all their friends, all their loved ones and all they have is each other and they’re forced to take care of a bunch of kids.

There are people who have said before, no one gets very close with someone without ever considering a romantic relationship with them. Or even if they never considered it romantic, they could consider at least “living with them their whole life,” or “supporting them through thick and thin.” The things is, towards the end, they were constantly together and what drove them to that situation is that both of them are aware of what the other had lost. They understood each other more than anyone else and they recognized that they were the only ones left in their own circle and I personally think that is more than enough for a relationship to naturally bloom between them.

3. The relationship and the signs are subtle and it works.

I personally probably would not have enjoyed it if canon showed a romantic relationship of the two after Erwin died. It’s a valid interpretation to consider that it could have happened, based on my explanation for number 2 but Hange is commander, Levi is captain. They have a professional relationship and they have goals and obligations which take precedence over personal desires. They are in the middle of a war and the most which probably could have happened was a secret mutual pining between the two and I think Isayama has injected the most subtle hints which are the most that could have been appropriately put into canon without seeming too OOC. Hange and Levi are not selfish people. They have promises, dreams and obligations which they respect and have committed themselves to already. It has also been shown at earlier points of the manga that they do put their survey corps duties on top of everything so acting on a romantic attraction at that point in time would have definitely been inappropriate. 

I personally think, the scenes of Hange going out of her way to save Levi as commander, killing her other soldiers to save both their asses, suggesting in the forest that they live together instead of go back to the war and not leaving an injured Levi until she had no choice were more powerful than a lot of romantic scenes where people actually fuck and kiss. Kissing and fucking are easy. Leaving the duties and responsibilities they have worked for for five years to keep the person they love alive hits way harder. 

Call it platonic. Call it romantic. But no one like Hange would have deserted her post as commander for a few chapters to take care of a sick comrade and kill her subordinates to save their asses if there wasn’t anything between them. 

4. It gives a great example what healthy relationships can come from. 

I grew up reading sweet valley and chick lits cause I was a basic bitch and I kinda grew up with a somehow unrealistic idea of where relationships come from. Call me a late bloomer but I only actually figured out where the romance and the happiness of a relationship was when I got into one with my best friend for five years. 

It’s the sexual tension and the “will they wont they?” push and pull which can lead to satisfying sex or a happy ending in romance novels. I think in a way, media kinda overglorifies it which kinda gives a lot of young people the wrong idea about why they getting into a relationship is fun in the first place.  Because after the satisfying sex and the kids, what’s next for the relationship?

Years of utility bills, diapers, chores, schedules, parent teacher conferences and compromises until someone gives up or dies. And what kind of relationships can actually thrive through all these? 

Those that have mastered the underrated parts of relationships. These include conflict resolutions, compromises and open communication. I think we have seen enough of those two, even before season 3 that have shown that they know each other very well and they have shown to at least have a relatively equal power dynamic which is a foundation for open communication and mutual trust in relationships even beyond the fucking and marriage stage 

5. They have a great foundation of character development for both parties.

As I mentioned above, they have a relatively equal power dynamic. I love Royai from FMA and I have compared Royai to this multiple times. I would say though I prefer Levihan over Royai because I felt that Royai had more unequal power dynamics? (Though I still think Royai is a top tier ship ). Also, they have shown to tell off the other when they don’t like what the other is doing. They are complete opposites but here is the magical thing. They talk everything out. They’re generally open people to each other and they know each other way too well as hinted in scenes before and opposites work as long as the others are willing to compromise. I think (especially in season 3 and season 4) that they have done enough for each other and have compromised enough for each other in the survey corps that these skills could easily be brought with them even after the war.

That open communication is just what makes them maintaining a relationship while being complete opposites very OC and realistic. Eventually, they did probably did make compromises, which most likely softened or moderated the crazy parts of their personalities which is just a really fun part of their relationship to explore. 

6. It could realistically last so maybe ...

7. A good foundation for happy children?

Maybe it’s how it is written because of the actual story and why would Yams write a romantic drama in a story about genocide and war. Tbh, I would attribute it more to Levi and Hange’s personalities though because Mikasa and Eren have their fair share of drama, mostly one sided though coz Mikasa. This relationship has no drama, no misunderstandings which just further supports my point that they have a relationship that thrives on open communication and mutual trust. Drama is fun like when we’re the ones on the sidelines eating the popcorn but I have third wheeled enough people in my life to realize that I will not support a relationship where both parties are just not ready to be mature about it, in real life and in fiction. 

My favorite couples, in real life and in fiction, are definitely those who keep conflict among themselves and maybe among trusted people. I think one sign of a healthy relationship is one where problems don’t become public through social media or through like 20 people. One important yet underrated part of relationships is the atmosphere of comfort and freedom which encourages both parties to be able to directly approach one another before tensions and uncertainties get out of hand.  

And a life free of dramas at least in the early stages of life just kinda shows at least that both parties are ready to bring a new life to the world? Because like immature parents with shitty conflict resolution skills really fuck kids up man and I passionately believe the world would really be a better place if babies were born out of trust, mutual understanding and open communication instead of sex but yeah, make sex fun to keep our race alive.

So anyway, I guess, I just finished explaining why I love this ship so much while also disclosing my preferences for relationships. 

As mentioned above...

Disclaimer: I do not want to start shipping wars. I specifically avoided the words like should or best because I recognize that shipping is generally based on preferences. I respect everyone’s preferences on what they want out of a ship or even a relationship and through this, I just hope to express my own preferences and maybe even gush with people who agree.

Other pairings which I support for those curious: Shikatema, Royai, Victuuri, Percabeth etc.

Also... To answer your second question... 

My week has been great, some pretty solid life developments but US elections wise, not so great... (WHY IS THE ELECTION RACE SO CLOSE?)

[whimsywispsblog]

All’s Not Fair in Love and War

A/N: Hello hello! Here’s chapter 5 for y’all! This one’s got some sadness and angst. Enjoy!

PART1, PART2, PART3, PART4

CHAPTER 5

March 12, 1981

The team sadly lost Lazar in Cuba. It was a great loss for the team and a horrible heartbreak for Park. They never even got the chance to let their feelings for each other bloom. The pain of loosing Lazar felt awfully familiar to her. Just like Harry. Loosing her brother was one of the most difficult phases in Park's life. He was someone who she confided in, someone who she trusted and admired. Someone who she loved with all her heart and soul, lying with blood splattered all around him, lifeless body staring at the distant sky. A haunting image that could never be erased from her mind. Lazar's death was just like that, except she saw him getting shot twice, the poor man helplessly surrendering to death. The scenario kept replying in her mind. -As soon as the team got back, Adler put Bell in a session. Poor Bell. He kept blaming himself for Lazar's death. He never even got a chance to mourn properly. "Adler! Let him rest! I don't think he's-""Not now, Rei. We need answers." Of course. He needs answers. Rei prepared the room for the session with Sims. "I hope he can survive this...he doesn't look well." Rei whispered to herself. If Bell dies, it was all for nothing. If the programme backfires, they loose everything. And Adler...good lord Adler. That man is going to get the boy killed. "We're doing an intercebral injection." Rei nodded to Adler, taking the injection. "Injecting directly into the brain could provoke seizures, or worse." Park warned, earning a glare from Adler."Unless, we don't overdo anything and keep the adrenaline from spiking. Hopefully" Rei replied, injecting. "We have a job to do." And that's when all hell broke loose. -Park hadn't noticed the time that had passed by while she kept staring at the wall in her apartment. The session was a success, minus a lot of drama from Rei and Adler. But Park's mind was caught up elsewhere...with Lazar."Park?" It was Rei. "You okay?"Park nodded her head sideways, tears now starting to roll doen her cheeks. Rei reached out to the woman. Park accepted her hug, burying her face in Rei's chest. She let out all her tears of agony, little sobs and wails escaping from her mouth. Rei kept rubbing her back, soothing her with her soft whispers of consolation. The death of Lazar had affected the whole team, even Hudson. They stayed like that for quite sometime, until Park left the hug to compose herself. Rei handed her a glass of water. "I talked to Chief. He said that they will let Bell in. He will stay under my wing." Park sipped a glass of water. The hiccups after crying made her squeal a little. Rei kept rubbing Park's upper arm. "That's great, but there's bad news. According to the plan that I overheard, Hudson wants Adler to kill Bell there in Solovetsky, away from the crowd. He has to make it look like an accident."

"Oh God. We have to improvise our plans then." Rei stared out of the window. The recollections of yesterday's session where Adler injected Bell through the eye socket and forced him to give everything without giving the boy even a moment to process his traumas. That was the first time in her life where she got highly physical with Adler. "Russell fucking Adler! Stop it! You're going to get him killed!" Rei kept pushing Adler away from Bell. He kept increasing the doses, like as if Bell's mind is a respawning game. Rei had enough. She pushed Adler away and ordered Park to get Bell out. The fight turned into a screaming match between Rei and Adler. In the end, Sims had to drag Rei out and Hudson had to hold her back from attacking. The two of them refused to even look at each other. Rei rubbed her bruised arm, thanks to Adler holding it tightly while getting her away from the room. "We need to get him to trust us." Park looked at Rei with an eyebrow raised. "Yes, but how?"

"We talk to him." Rei shrugged. "Park. How about tomorrow you stay close to Bell and once it's over, you pull Bell away? I'll get a ride for us and we can leave."

"We can do that, but, I doubt Adler will leave Bell out of his sight, unless we tell Bell about Adler's plans." The girls looked outside, deep in thought on how they can pull Bell out of the situation. To Park, Bell was her only chance in life to do something she couldn't- save her brother and Lazar. It was the same for Rei- the loss of her brother, Riley.-"Alright Bell, listen up." Park pulled Bell into a room. Luckily no one was there close by except for Sims and Rei. The girls came up with a brilliant plan. The Chief of MI6 would convince Black to let Bell go, once they manage to get Bell out of the field. Park and Bell will fly to London, immediately after the mission. Rei will stay back to handle the situation, if things turn ugly. "Tomorrow, once the mission is over, you will ride with me. I'll tell you where I am. Whatever you do, do not go with Adler."

"Why not?"

"A complicated situation which I will explain later. Give me a set of your civilian clothes. Once you're off the field, we will be picked up by an informant, where you will change your clothes and head for the airport, straight to London." Bell looked at Park, perplexed. "But...why are you doing this?"

"Bell, I owe you. This is the only way I can repay, making you MI6. It's the easiest escape route to give you a life of some degree of normalcy. I have done enough damage to you, maybe you don't trust me. But this one time, I need your trust." Bell looked at Park. Her eyes were red, swollen. The tone of her voice was that of someone pleading. True, he wasn't sure who to trust, but if she seemed to be ready to put her neck in the line for him..."Alright. I'll come. But, can I trust you?" 

"Of course." Park smiled. 

"Are we ready?" Rei barged in. The two nodded.

 -Everything went according to the plan in the Battle of Solovetsky. The nukes were stopped from detonating. The soldiers were busy celebrating the victory. But for Rei, Bell and Park, victory was yet to be achieved. According to the plan, Bell will excuse himself from the group when Park sends the cue 'Aah the artic air'  and somewhere a little further, Park will pick him up. From there, Rei will pick up the duo and a ride a little further, with 2 helicopter rides to the safehouse in West Berlin (sponsored by some 'friends').As soon as Bell got the cue, he waited for five minutes, laughing and hugging Woods and Mason. "Ah nature's call. Got to take this one." Woods snickered at Bell. From there the plan went beautifully. -"Okay, so it's a pretty long ride to Germany and we'll be stopping a couple of times." Rei yawned. Bell looked out of the window as Park treated his wounds ."Tell me again, why isn't the Chief talking to Hudson now, instead of us performing this drama?"

"Long story short, if Bell dies on the mission on the way or if Bell gets captured anytime now, then he becomes a liability to MI6. But once we're out of Solovetsky, I'll send the code and he will let Hudson know." Rei kept pondering, not fully understanding the situation. Bell was completely lost. The boy had too much to process. From loosing his identity, thanks to CIA and now being deemed a loose end after everything he's done for them, the boy found it too hard to digest anything at all. "Would the MI6 consider me a loose end?" Rei and Park looked at Bell, the boy giving them both an innocent puppy dog eyes. He looked so vulnerable and scared. "Well, once you win their trust, you'll be considered one of them. You have already won mine, you don't have to worry about anything." Bell nodded. His eyes grew heavy. The last few days' theatrics was finally taking a toll on him.

-

"Wait, come again? They want Bell? Park taking responsibility? Under Park's wing? But he- okay. Okay sir. Understood. I'll send the necessary documents for the transfer." Hudson rubbed his forehead in frustration. "What's the scene?" Adler blew out smoke. The anger in his eyes was concealed by his shades. "Your girlfriend and her best friend managed to sneak out Bell from under your eyes. MI6 wants Bell, they talked to Black. Park will take Bell to CIA. They will send an informant now, to whom I'll have to give the documents for the transfer." Adler sighed, he was boiling with anger. If Bell decided to turn his back against them, they will be in deep trouble. "Damn. Am I glad that your girlfriend had the balls to do something that I wanted to do." Mason glared at the two men. Woods just chuckled. "Mason we-""If he wanted to do something, he'd have done it by now." Mason was right. Why would Bell willingly give up everything he knew despite knowing that they had robbed him of his identity? "Right. We'll settle this in West Berlin. Pack up." Adler commanded, leaving to his room. He took out his wallet. In it was a polaroid of Rei that he had clicked a long time back. It was a beautiful moment he captured. Rei laughing merrily, her eyes twinkling, her long dark hair swaying sideways to the breeze- all under a beautiful blue sky. His thumb rubbed her face softly. "What are you up to, Rei" he whispered.

TAGLIST:

@lovinggooppalacebanana​

@quizzyisdone @sophtheunlikelybakeryfestival @nikkibell1937 @pookolokon​

[randomavatarfan]

Tataridamashi-hen Ep 5

So we got a wonderful retelling of Minagoroshi-hen, with even more Sonozaki's being introduced to help out the Save Satoko effort, and finally we're given something new to work with:

Oiishi pulled a gun at the festival according to Rena.

Let's break this down:

The episode focused so much on Satoko's rescue efforts. A slight altercation with Oiishi, because he is a dick, but it seems like he's hoping to finally be able to bring Teppei into custody if he hangs around long enough. He knows the Sonozaki presence is the real force of change, but "plays pretend" to let Keiichi take the credit.

Once the city finally caves a little more than halfway through the episode, we get to go to the festival, finally. A small shot of satoko in the shower definitely a piece of "fan service". It is uncomfortable because seriously, why depict that much first of all, but second of all it's meant to callback Tatarigoroshi-hen where a lot of drama happens when she's found in the tub.

But that seems to clear itself up; the entire club goes to the festival without a hitch and Satoko gets a new costume, a bit similar to Shion's outfit. She and Keiichi break off have a heart to heart, then goes back to her house "to get something"

Screen goes fuzzy and Teppei appears. Satoko runs away. Keiichi bashes Teppei in with his bat the way he ought to have done in the first place, and then he passes out.

Aftermath: Kuma comes into the hospital and questions a bedridden Keiichi who can't remember what happened after he got to Satoko's. Rena later comes in and explains Oiishi went into the festival guns blazing and killed the entire club except her. This does include Satoko.

My first guess while watching was that the Teppei that attacked Keiichi might have been Oiishi instead. It definitely seems more like a paranoia episode rather than reality, and Oiishi is reasonably the only character similar enough that someone with that level of paranoia would perceive as Teppei, but also the cops are the only ones I would think would be hanging around the house.

But Rena's testimony puts a wrench in that theory. It would appear that the festival incident and the Teppei incident happened simultaneously. So either Rena didn't really see Oiishi, or Oiishi wasn't the one at the house.

We could also explore that the yes both incidents were Oiishi but that the incidents didn't happen simultaneously. But that implies Keiichi didn't succeed in killing anyone. If the festival incident occurred first, Satoko would have survived. The only other proxy for Teppei I could imagine might have been Irie.

Of course the bigger picture is what we didn't see: what happened at the festival. Was that truly Oiishi? Something happened considering it's Kuma doing the investigating, but he refused to tell Keiichi. We also fail to verify what the fates of Takano and Tomitake were. Do we assume they're fine, which would violate rule y? Do we assume they stole a van and vanish as has been the ongoing pattern in Gou? I had a thought that maybe they injected Oiishi with L5, but he's hard to subdue. But I think we can truly confirm that GHD does not occur in Gou and we're looking at a very different game board.

Next chapter: Nekodamashi-hen. Nekogoroshi-hen was an OVA that was hard to find subtitled even back when it was new. I would like to review it for shits and giggles. I'm certain now that nothing from the original chapters actually matter, but I wouldn't mind seeing it again. It didn't add too much to the story, kinda just being like "Look at this spooky quarry, also don't forget the janitors in their white vans" I think functionally this may end up being Himadamashi-hen where we're finally given the big question. Maybe this is where we see St Lucia Rika coming in.

Feel free to interact and respond with your thoughts, theories, and predictions

PS: You know, if you're the head of an organization, I wonder why driving off in one of your organization's fleet vehicles would be considered "stealing." I'm hoping we see some Yamainu in the next chapter but it really seems like their relationship with Takano and Irie are quite different. I have a feeling their antagonizing Takano as much as they're still after Rika.

[tabloidtoc]

OK, May 10

You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Inside Kim Kardashian's Wild New Single Life

Page 1: Big Pic -- Jenna Dewan enjoyed a stroll around her L.A. neighborhood with 13-month-old son Callum, whom she shares with fiance Steve Kazee, in a stroller

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: The world watched as Prince Harry came face-to-face with the royal family for the first time in over a year to say farewell to his late grandfather Prince Philip, and now that he's back home in Montecito, California, with pregnant wife Meghan Markle and their 23-month old son Archie, Harry's been reflecting on the emotional reunion and preparing for what lies ahead in the coming months -- although the trip inevitably had its share of awkward moments, he's generally happy with how it went, and things had been especially frosty between Harry and The Firm following his televised tell-all, but the main thing is they broke the ice, and he's finally communicating properly with his family again -- in fact, Harry is said to have enjoyed low-key meetings with several relatives before heading back home to the States, including his grandmother Queen Elizabeth and cousin Princess Eugenie, although he did not have a one-on-one chat with his estranged father Prince Charles and it was more of a civilized catch-up than an intense sit-down because it wasn't an appropriate time to delve into recent tensions; however, Harry did take the opportunity to reassure everyone it wasn't his intention to upset them and that he loves them all very much and they, in turn, echoed their affection for him and they mutually agreed to keep moving forward positively and constructively and there's a still a lot of unfinished business, many are hopeful that all will be resolved when Harry returns to the U.K. for a memorial honoring his late mother Princess Diana on July 1 and this could be Harry's last chance to sit down with his family and properly repair things and Harry and Prince William have both agreed to meet before the event and have a frank discussion about how they can do their best to fix the damage that's been done and air their grievances in a calm and pragmatic manner

Page 6: Next spring, Johnny Depp and his ex Amber Heard will head back to court in the latest installment of their ongoing legal drama, but this time, Johnny, who filed a $50 million defamation lawsuit against Amber following a 2018 op-ed where she detailed her experience as an alleged abuse victim, is determined to clear his name one and for all -- Johnny and his team have new and explosive testimony from two of the responding officers, plus new body cam footage, that they believe will finally turn things around in their favor and they're convinced it will show that Amber made up claims about their alleged May 2016 brawl in an attempt to ruin him and the video shows a neat apartment with nothing out of place, nothing broken or anything to suggest a knockdown fight had just occurred -- Johnny's always maintained his innocence and now he's confident this evidence will prove it and Johnny's also working on a tell-all that he intends to release as soon as he's declared innocent and the tome will vividly detail what happened on that night in 2016 and throughout their year-long marriage and Johnny feels Amber never really loved him and his friends warned him not to marry her, but he didn't listen, and he's paid a dear price for it

Page 7: A fateful chapter from Ashton Kutcher's past could be coming back to haunt him as he's being urged to take part in the upcoming documentary on his late ex Brittany Murphy and it's stressing him out to no end and so far, he wants nothing to do with it -- the documentary is going to look for clues as to why it all ended like this for Brittany, and producers want Ashton to tell his side of the story and the thinking is he may have little choice but to participate because he had a front row seat to Brittany's life, and her fans want him to shed light on what really happened

* Alec Baldwin and wife Hilaria Baldwin knew that having six kids would be a challenge, but they're realizing it's even harder to find nannies who are up to the task of tending to their brood because Alec and Hilaria have some pretty high expectations for the kind of people they want to employ and what the job entails and it's been a logistical nightmare hiring and scheduling a rotating team of caretakers -- in addition to children Carmen, 7, Rafael, 5, Leonardo, 4, and Romeo, 2, the parents welcomed baby Eduardo in September and their sixth child, Lucia, via surrogate in March -- long hours and multitasking are a must given the meal prep, diaper changes and homeschooling, plus the nannies have to know how to deal with a cranky set of kids without losing their cool and Hilaria's every bit the mother hen, so she won't settle for anything less than perfection

* Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna have had it with the romance between their daughter Amelia Hamlin and Scott Disick -- Amelia recently raised eyebrows when she was spotted with bruised lips, which often occurs after lip filler injections, and Harry and Lisa drew a line in the sand and they're concerned that Scott is convincing her to mess with her appearance, especially since she's talking about boob and butt surgery to keep his eyes off other girls and ever since the couple hooked up last October, Harry and Lisa have been sitting back and hoping that Amelia would come to her senses, but it's clear she's in way too deep now, and that they need to make their feelings known, but the worry is that Amelia will be pregnant before she knows it, so Harry and Lisa are ready to take the bull by the horns before Scott ruins their daughter's life

Page 8: It's been nearly four years since Matt Lauer was fired from Today amid a sexual assault scandal, and he's still being snubbed by his old Hamptons crowd -- Matt, who retreated to his waterfront estate in the celeb enclave after a colleague accused him of assaulting her at the 2014 Olympics, has done everything he can to regain his place in the community, but he's remained persona non grata despite his best efforts; he'll turn up to fancy events and be super friendly with everyone but most people just turn their noses at him -- the disgraced ex-anchor, who hooked up with public relations exec Shamin Abas after his 2019 divorce, has been talking to friends about marrying her in a big Hamptons wedding, but it's hard to imagine there'd be much of a turnout and people have had ample time to put out the welcome mat, but it seems like they've shut their doors on Matt for good

* Former Playboy Bunny Kendra Wilkinson has gone from living the high life to pounding the pavement to earn a paycheck, and she's missing the glam old days -- Kendra, who enjoyed a pampered existence as Hugh Hefner's girlfriend and Girls Next Door star, has had to bring home the bacon in the wake of her 2018 divorce from Hank Baskett to help provide for their two children, Hank, 11, and Alijah, 6, and being a single mom is a lot harder than she thought it would be and she currently resides in a humble Calabasas rental and recently snagged a job as a realtor and was hired by Kyle Richards' husband Mauricio Umansky and she's working long hours and weekends, and she looks pretty burnt out and Kendra tries not to complain and is sucking it up as best she can, but she can't help but think about the times when she didn't have to worry about bills and rent and could sleep in as long as she wanted

* He was once Hollywood's biggest bon vivant, but Jack Nicholson has become a total hermit, and friends are concerned that he's harder to get a hold of than ever and Jack's shut himself away in his hilltop home on Mulholland Drive, and everyone is worried about his state of mind -- the actor, who was last seen in public looking disheveled at a January 2020 Lakers game, says he just wants to spend his retirement in peace and quiet, but his loved ones wish he'd make himself a little more accessible -- Jack's admitted that he yearns for one last romance, but how can that happen when he's hiding at home? Jack turned 84 in April, and it's as if he's resigned to spending the rest of his life alone and it's so sad, but it seems there's nothing anyone can do for him

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars wow in sexy shoulder-baring dresses -- Ella Balinska, Renee Zellweger, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Page 11: Adrienne Warren, Martha Hunt

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Rainey Qualley vs. Celine Dion in Chanel, Melissa Wood-Tepperberg vs. Idina Menzel in Alice + Olivia

Page 13: Ellie Goulding vs. Charli XCX in Andreas Kronthaler for Vivienne Westwood

Page 14: News in Photos -- Gavin Rossdale took his beloved dog Chewy with him to tennis practice in the park in L.A.

Page 15: Jeff Goldblum stopped at celeb hotspot Craig's for dinner with wife Emilie Livingston and their kids Charlie and River in West Hollywood, newly single Real Housewives of Orange County star Braunwyn Windham-Burke hit the beach in Miami, Natasha Lyonne continued filming her series Russian Doll in NYC

Page 16: Amber Rose enjoyed lunch with her son Sebastian whom she shares with Wiz Khalifa in L.A.

Page 17: Anchor Robin Roberts filled viewers in on current events during Good Morning America in NYC, Kristen Taekman got all gussied up at her home in NYC, Howie Mandel showed up to the America's Got Talent set in surfing gear in Pasadena

Page 19: Bling Empire's Cherie Chan and fiance Jessey Lee grabbed a bite with their daughter Jadore, pro wrestler Ariane Andrew (a.k.a. Cameron) fueled up with a healthy sip

Page 20: Wells Adams stocked up on some essentials at the grocery store in L.A., Rachel Brosnahan protected herself with an umbrella while filming The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel in NYC

Page 21: Jon Hamm and his new rescue dog Splash get some fresh air in L.A., Whitney Port in a beige sweater dress and matching boots while recording her podcast in NYC

Page 22: Selling Sunset's Christine Quinn brightened things up in designer duds while walking her dogs in L.A., Monique Green attended the drive-in premiere of her new series Big Shot in L.A.

Page 23: Irina Shayk and her daughter Lea De Seine walked hand in hand around NYC, friendly exes Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry take a stroll in L.A., Law and Order: SVU stars Mariska Hargitay and Ice-T snapped a photo together in between takes

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Sam and Aaron Taylor-Johnson's designer digs

Page 28: Home Town stars Ben and Erin Napier recently announced they're getting ready to welcome their second child, a girl, and the famously private pair, who chose to keep the news a secret to avoid any extra unwanted attention or stress, could not be more excited -- this baby is a miracle because Erin was told years ago that pregnancy would be unlikely due to a past health issue and when their first daughter Helen arrived, they were overjoyed, and they never imagined they'd be blessed with a second -- with Erin's due date just around the corner, she and Ben are busy prepping Helen to become a big sis and they have no doubt she'll be wonderful because she's very warm and empathetic toward others and she loves to hug so the baby will be extremely loved -- after the newborn's arrival, the busy HGTV stars will take some much-needed time off and they're a team, and Ben plans to be there to support Erin and make sure she gets her needed rest, but they both love what they do, so it won't be long before they're back in front of the cameras -- while baby No. 3 chatter has already begun, the college sweethearts aren't getting ahead of themselves and Ben and Erin always dreamed of having a big family, and if they can, there will be more children, but if it doesn't happen, then they will be quite content as a foursome

Page 29: Kacey Musgraves is head over heels for her new boyfriend Gerald Onuoha, but friends are worried that she may be rushing the romance -- Kacey, who hooked up with the Nashville-based doctor after calling it quits on her three-year marriage to Ruston Kelly in July, tends to jump into things with her heart and this relationship falls into that category and Kacey, who was spotted snuggling up to her physician beau while out and about in L.A., is on cloud nine with this guy, but when she has to hit the road again it's not like he can pull up stakes and follow her -- she's not thinking straight about the future, and her friends are bracing for trouble once reality sinks in and Kacey would be wise to slow things down and not get ahead of herself

* George Clooney turned the big 6-0 on May 6, and his wife Amal Clooney is being a bit of a birthday buzzkill -- George wants a big, booze-soaked sky's-the-limit bash in an exotic locale like Mexico or Italy with his old drinking buddies like Rande Gerber, but Amal is pushing for a quiet family celebration at home with their children Alexander and Ella, and it's led to a few arguments -- George figures it's his chance to finally let off steam and that it's his choice on how to mark the milestone occasion and he wants Amal and the other wives to come and join in on the fun, but watching George get wasted certainly isn't her idea of a good time and she sees nothing wrong with a dinner at home

Page 30: Harrison Ford is finally set to start filming the new Indiana Jones movie this summer, and his wife Calista Flockhart will be keeping a close eye to make sure he stays safe on the set -- Harrison has been training hard to get in shape and is feeling great, but at his age, you can understand why Calista is concerned and protective Calista plans to accompany Harrison as he shoots the fifth Indiana Jones installment in London and other locales and he's still capable of doing his own stunts, and a lot of it is thanks to Calista, who made sure he stayed fit with weight training and proper nutrition, but Harrison's going to have the best people in the business looking out for him so he doesn't get hurt again, otherwise Calista wouldn't have given him the green light

* It's barely been three months since Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker went public with their hot and heavy romance, and they're already talking about getting engaged and pregnant, not necessarily in that order and Kourtney fully believes this isn't just a honeymoon phase, but that Travis is the man she's going to share her dreams with -- as for Travis, he's been telling everyone he's hit the jackpot with Kourtney and Travis, who has two kids of his own, has already started shopping for rings and he's planning an ultra-romantic proposal because he's big on grand gestures and he's still looking for the perfect ring, but that doesn't mean the baby-making has to wait until it's on her finger

* Love Bites -- Zac Efron and Vanessa Valladares split, Brooks Laich and CrossFit athlete Katrin Davidsdottir dating, Tan France and husband Rob are having a baby this summer

Page 32: Cover Story -- Kim Kardashian single and loving it -- ready to mingle, an unattached Kim is having fun exploring her dating options -- she did all she could with Kanye West and now she needs to steer a new course for herself -- she's been relishing her single status and feels like she can finally breathe again -- Kim may be living it up, but her four children remain her primary focus -- the eligible bachelors who've caught Kim's eye: Drake, Rege-Jean Page, Brad Pitt, Lewis Hamilton

Page 35: Jennifer Aniston's on such good terms with her old flames she still talks to ex-husbands Brad Pitt and Justin Theroux regularly and has even stayed in touch with her former beau John Mayer -- Jen and Brad have a lot of complicated history, but she's glad they reconnected and are friends again and she thinks the world of Brad, and they support each other -- Justin recently revealed he and Jen text and FaceTime, and the divorced duo will always share a special bond -- although she and John split in 2009, Jen and the musician still hang out from time to time and they flirt here and there and when John's in town, Jen's down to meet him -- but friends are urging the star to finally and firmly move on from her exes and they think she needs a fresh start, and Jen's been on a few dates with someone who isn't famous and Jen's not looking to get married again, but she'd like to have a partner to share her life with and this guy could be the one, she's just got to give the relationship a fair chance, without any distractions

* Weeks after announcing she'd called it quits with Alex Rodriguez, Jennifer Lopez is feeling sad and disappointed and she didn't want to believe the rumors about Alex's wandering eye, but the Madison LeCroy thing was the last straw -- it's not the first time Jennifer's been fooled by a bad boy as cheating rumors plagued her romances with Sean "Diddy" Combs and Casper Smart and she's wiser now -- Jennifer's saving grace is she's got a jam-packed schedule so it won't leave too much time to be broken-hearted and she's a busy mom of two with a million projects up in the air so don't expect her to be dwelling on the past for too long

Page 36: Young and In Love -- Why wait? These stars were in their early 20s, or teens, when they tied the knot -- Olivia Wilde married an Italian prince when she was 19, Hailey Baldwin married Justin Bieber when she was 21

Page 37: Demi Moore married rocker Freddy Moore at 17, Uma Thurman married Gary Oldman when she was 20, Cher married Sonny Bono at 18, Macaulay Culkin married actress Rachel Miner when he was 18

Page 38: Jessica Simpson married Nick Lachey at age 22, Kate Hudson married rocker Chris Robinson when she was 21, Drew Barrymore married when she was 19 for only 19 days

Page 39: Janet Jackson married R&B singer James DeBarge when she was 18, Kim Kardashian eloped with a music producer when she was 19, Solange Knowles married and a baby at 18, LeAnn Rimes married a backup dancer at 19

Page 40: Interview -- Anya Taylor-Joy thrilled to pieces -- The Queen's Gambit star is still processing her phenomenal success

Page 42: Role Models -- like mother, like daughter -- these stars are inspiring their kids to stay healthy and fit -- Brooke Burke, Gisele Bundchen

Page 43: Cindy Crawford and Kaia Gerber, Christie Brinkley and Sailor Brinkley-Cook, Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson, Jessica Alba

Page 46: Style Week -- Saweetie has a new sunglasses collaboration with Quay

Page 48: What's Hot Right Now -- stand out with a statement piece from the 8 Other Reasons x Draya Michele capsule collection

Page 49: Make Me Blush -- follow spring 2021's hottest beauty trend and create a flush with a pop of peach, pastel pink or terracotta -- Mindy Kaling

Page 50: Mother's Day Gift Guide -- Molly Sims

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Reality Check -- your small screen guilty pleasures are back and here are all the details -- Bar Rescue, The Real Housewives of New York City, Teen Mom 2, Million Dollar Listing New York

Page 58: Buzz -- The ACM Awards in Nashville -- Carrie Underwood and CeCe Winans, Keith Urban and fellow emcee Mickey Guyton, Kenny Chesney and Kelsea Ballerini

Page 59: Blake Shelton, Chris Young and Kane Brown, Miranda Lambert and Elle King, Jimmie Allen and Brad Paisley, Maren Morris and husband Ryan Hurd

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Jessica Alba on not being afraid to complain, Justin Theroux on dating, Jodie Turner-Smith on her and Joshua Jackson being perfect partners, Rob McElhenney on expectations of men in Hollywood

Page 61: Chrissy Teigen on her break from Twitter, Courteney Cox showing off her extremely organized kitchen on Instagram, Lance Bass on the basic thing in his past he'd like to move on from, Amanda Seyfried on confiding to the Mank costume designer about her pregnancy, John Stamos on getting together with wife Caitlin, Eiza Gonzalez on developing body confidence

Page 62: Horoscope -- Taurus Henry Cavill turned 38 on May 5

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Rege-Jean Page

[lapisreviewsstuff]

Rat hunt | Ethan Ramsey x MC( Taylor Smith) chapter 3

Author’s note: welcome to chapter 3 of “slow, but sweet romance” between Ethan and MC. Recently I was listening to Rebecca Sugar song called Escapism and time adventure. Man I am full of tears writing this chapter. Sorry for making you guys wait. Enjoy all ^^.

Warning: cursing, Dr.Rat’s jealousy( Landry) , drama, violence etc.

Words: I got Microsoft word so according to this software is 1800+

Tag list: @lilyofchoices @buzz-bee-buzz @isabella-choices if you guys wanna be tagged, let me know

“Landry, Dr.Landry Olsen” Taylor’s voice was quiet saying that name. Backtab really hurted Taylor a lot, she didn’t knew who to trust anymore. She felt like being on ice alone, but thank god Ethan is by her side. Ethan was shocked that no.5 intern would do stupid stunt just to get to no.1. Ethan letted go of Taylor and clenched his fists. He now knows who he will torture next. Now that he is back to his station, he can fire him easily. Yes... that’s what I am going to do he though about that. Taylor putted her hand on his shoulder to make him relax a bit. Ethan took her hand and pulled her to him and kissed her lips hardly like he is releasing his rage and longing into one kiss. She wrapped her hands around his neck and kissed back. Ethan then trailed his lips from her lips down to collarbone and gently bitted it. Taylor moaned at pleasure this was giving. Ethan then trailed his lips from collarbone up to her lips and ears and whispered

“He will pay for this. I don’t want you to suffer from his jealousy anymore. Remember that you are always protected by me, love. Maybe spend the night here, love?" Taylor’s eyes widened and she quietly agreed to his offer. Ethan grinned at the answer

“ Good girl. I really don’t want you to deal with this jealous rat and since you two live together under same roof, your files are unsafe. Why don’t you stay with me for couple of days until it’s over?” Ethan pulled himself away from her. Taylor was grateful that he is offering a place to stay, but she didn’t wanted to sleep for free. It felt so unfair to her

“ I would like to stay here, but I really don’t want to be here for free. I mean let me repay you something in return at least” Ethan shaked his head and pulled her into his embrace.

“ Taylor, I want you to be safe. I know how much interns are getting paid and honestly, taking something from you would be painful to me. Please, accept it with your heart. I will have guestroom prepared for you.” Taylor putted her hands around his neck and kissed him deeply. He kissed her back and wrapped his hands around her waist. Taylor pulled her lips away with a smile on her face

“ If my boss offers me that, then I agree to your offer to stay for couple of days with you.” Ethan smiled at her and Taylor kissed his lips again, trailed from his lips up to ear and whispered

“let the rat hunt begin” then pulled her lips away from his ear. Ethan was grinning at her and said

“ let’s have a toast, for the 1st annual rat hunt in this hospital" Ethan went to his kitchen to find a bottle of wine and poured 2 glasses of wine. He gave a glass to her and made a toast

“ To hunting a rat down in the hospital and get his ass fired” Ethan lifted his glass "hear,hear" Taylor's tone was cheerful and he clinched a glass with Taylor’s.

After having a talk about Naveen and having rough day with one of pitas in the hospital. Taylor felt tired so she putted her glass down and fell asleep on his couch. Ethan collected glasses and putted them into dishwasher and took her in bride style to guestroom. He gently lied her down on the bed, putted bed sheets on her and kissed her forehead and went to his bedroom. Before sleep he thought to himself

My little girl, I will protect you from rats anytime. I will always walk by your side and take care of you because you are my love and happiness in this cursed world. Naveen, do you see this? I tried to follow your path, but instead a path got split up and leads me to brighter one. Man, the sight of her look won’t leave my head for a week. Taylor, you and Naveen are the only people I give a damn about. Thank you for accepting my offer with your heart. He smiled at his own thoughts and fell asleep.

Taylor woke up in unfamiliar room dressed in yesterday’s clothes. Half of walls were wooden while other half was dark blue, floor was wooden as well.

Is this guestroom? She questioned to herself. She got off from her bed and went to kitchen. In kitchen Ethan was cooking breakfast for both of them. Ethan glanced at shy intern and gave heart warming smile

“ Morning, little girl” Taylor smiled at him and took steps towards Ethan. She standed close to him, he wrapped his left hand around her waist and pulled her for a kiss. His kiss was soft and tender one. She kissed him back and wrapped her hands around his neck. They pulled each other away to take a breath. They grinned at each other like fools.

“Morning, handsome. Hope I don’t break your policies here.” Taylor smirked. Ethan lifted her chin up and kissed her again.

“Here, no way, but at work- yes” Ethan smirked and released his rookie to continue cooking breakfast. While they were eating breakfast, they were talking about routines in hospital, pitas being stubborn in hospital, Naveen's treatement and his tests. It was a normal morning to her. After breakfast they went to the hospital together and splitted up so no one would suspect them. When Ethan approached his office, Landry was standing by his door, blocking it. Ethan knew that storm was coming, so he took couple of steps closer to Landry and gave cold, serious look.

“ What do you want?” Landry looked around shyly and didn’t knew what to answer. Ethan glared at him and said

“Well? Are you going to stand there all day and blocking entry to my office or answer to my question!?” Landry composed himself and pulled Ethan’s face to his and kissed him. Ethan putted hands on his chest and pushed him away.

“ What the fuck, man? Are you insane?” Ethan pointed daggers at his eyes. Landry’s look became colder and took a step to Ethan’s direction. His look hinted of jealousy towards Taylor and Ethan.

“Why did you choose her instead me? Am I nothing to you?” Ethan hearing this got furious so he grabbed Landry by his shirt and looked straight into his eyes. Landry got scared so he turned his head away from Ethan’s.

“ Listen there, rat. I know everything what have you done to Dr. Smith and her files, including rigging her pager. Apparently, you are jealous of her talent in medicine and her well deserved no.1 spot. Please, Dr. Olsen, better focus on yourself and patients instead doing stupid shit and ruining your "roommate’s" image,you could’ve been brilliant diagnostician in fact. That’s why I’ve approved of your application to Edenbrook. You are pathetic, rat so better don’t test my patience now, do you understand?” Landry’s face became full of white. Landry looked at his eyes and saw anger. Instead agreeing, he took Ethan’s hands and forced Ethan to release him. Landry then snapped at Ethan

“ So you are with that slut? Who injected the drug into Mrs. Martinez and later on killed her, huh? Who stole the drug from Decan Nash, huh? She is real monster here and doesn’t deserve to be no.1 in rankings, Dr. Ramsey. While she does stunts like that, I was studying hard, solving many pitas in this hospital and what I get? Only no.5 spot in this rigged competition. I deserve better than that little slut.” Hearing him calling her ‘ little slut’ he ran out of patience and punched Landry into the face and later into right eye. Landry backed away completely holding his injured right eye with his right hand and ran away through the hall. Ethan entered his office and decided to contact Dr. Harper Emery to inform about situation and fire him completely. Harper paged Dr. Smith to her office to tell her side of the story about whole situation. When she entered Harper’s office, she saw Ethan sitting on the chair facing Emery’s desk. Ethan smiled at Taylor and she took a seat close to Ethan. Harper took a seat aswell and looked into Taylor.

“ Dr. Smith, when did sabotaging started?” Harper’s look was serious and she was really down-to-business this time. Taylor straightened up and looked straight at her eyes.

“ Whole sabotaging started after the trip to Miami. My pager was turned off that time. One attending scolded me for that, so I went to nurses station to check if really my pager is off and apparently it was. While my pager was off, mostly I was dependant on nurses to check on patients. When I checked on one patient, my files were missing and Dr. Mirani scolded me for being “unprepared” while I was prepared hours ago. Later on, someone spreaded lies that I was trash talking nurses’ job and now they hate me, but Danny didn’t fell for those lies and still helped me out to check on patients. One day I walked into closet and this is when I found out that Dr. Landry Olsen contacted Mrs. Martinez family about whole situation and was sabotaging me out of jealousy. Hope this explains whole situation, Dr. Emery” Harper’s eyes widened hearing this and looked at Ethan. Ethan nodded at this. Harper then looked at Taylor, she was staring at her. Harper coughed and straightened up

“ I see. Now this whole situation makes sense. Thank you for telling your side of the story, Dr. Smith. Dr. Ramsey, you are free to do your rounds while Dr. Smith stays at my office for a bit.” Ethan stood up and nodded at both women and left the office. Taylor looked at Dr. Emery. Dr. Emery straightened up and told her that her story wasn’t enough to stop the lawsuit and she is expected at courthouse on next friday.

“ I see. Thank you, Dr. Emery for enlightening me about lawsuit. I will be there, Dr. Emery. I will do anything to protect the hospital and myself.” Harper nodded and letted her go to do rounds.

I knew that I didn’t convinced them completely. I will have to tell Ethan about this. She sighed and went to do her rounds. When she ended her daily rounds, she changed her clothes and went to the entrance of the hospital. She met Ethan there and they together went to his car and went to his apartment. A ride was quiet one, Ethan saw sadness and anxiety in her eyes. He knew that something was up with her. When they entered their apartment, she sat down on the couch and sighed. Ethan sat besides her and wrapped his left arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. He buried his face into her hair, drinking her scent. He pulled his face from her hair and whispered in her ear.

“What’s wrong, love?” Taylor sighed and turned her face to Ethan.

“ Next Friday I will be at courthouse. I didn’t convinced them enough to stop the lawsuit”

[squisherific]

Shokugeki No Soma Chapter 275

I really wanted to review this chapter because I’ve been seeing an awful lot of hate for it, which I think is absolutely hilarious. Now, just a disclaimer, I’m not saying this current plot line is fabulous writing by any means. However, I honestly don’t understand the hate for this specific chapter. After the events in the two previous chapters, I felt like what happened in this chapter was an obvious conclusion?

Of course Souma lost. I would have been really shocked if he had beat the guy who beat his dad. It’s clear Asahi was being set up as a new goalpost for Souma. Souma is the first seat. He clearly is in a very comfortable position. But in that position, there is little, to no tension. They needed to bring in someone who could challenge him. 

What I do have a problem with, is a teacher-figure being that challenger, rather than a new student, or a foreign student, or a student from a different prestigious school in a different setting outside Tootsuki, which would have been more believable than this current setup. Because the biggest problem with this entire storyline is that it completely undermined Souma’s original (and what people assumed was his ultimate) goal of beating Jou.

Asahi should never have beat what was arguably the final boss in the series, and certainly not so decisively (5-0). By all means, introduce a character who has been Jou’s apprentice. That scenario is actually not unbelievable IMO. Jou is a really secretive guy, who travels a lot, so I can totally see him having taken a kid under his wing. And by all means, have the kid want to challenge Jou’s true son. All of that could have been done without Jou being defeated. That was the major mistake in this plot thread. But I’m hoping Jou’s defeat was not what it seems to be. I’m hoping he let himself be beat for whatever reason. We’ll see, though. Otherwise, it totally minimizes Jou’s place in the story, and that’s a shame.

That being said, I do understand what the author was going for. He wanted to really break Souma, and one way to do that, was to have Asahi defeat his dad, setting him up as not only this HUGE threat, but also, give him something important to fight for, which in this case, is his dad’s knife. He needs to get it back. I got that. That’s fine. But I also think it was unnecessary.

This situation, though, also gives Souma the opportunity to finally develop as a character. I’ve been dying to see him really upset and struggle. We never see that side of Souma. He’s too carefree and he shrugs things off too easily. He needs something to really devastate him, so he can build his way back from that, and grow as a character. Were there better ways to do that than this? Oh God yeah, but it is what it is.

The other problem with this arc isn’t necessarily a “problem” at all. It’s just cliche writing, that’s all. Actually, not just cliche writing. It’s a shoujo plot. Now, being a shoujo fan, and also being someone who’s been waiting quite patiently for the romance portion of this series to kick in, I think this current plot line is, as I said, hilarious, because Shokugeki is just not that kind of manga. So, the tone shift with this development is so striking that it’s funny. Asahi is essentially a giant plot device created to bring romantic feelings to the surface. Not Souma’s. That’s why his dad’s knife is involved. Souma is going to have other things to fight for besides Erina.  

But Erina’s feelings towards Souma need to grow from the friendship levels they currently are, to blatant romantic ones. There is a hint of romance there already. The way she thought of Souma in the last arc felt very much like a girl on the cusp of falling for a guy. But they weren’t there quite yet, and that’s ok. Considering how very slow burning the Souma x Erina ship has been over the course of the series, it was actually a positive thing that Erina didn’t just fall hard and fast for him after just becoming friends. But now there’s been a 4 month time skip, and they are second years. They have likely been interacting far more often now, since she’s headmistress and he’s the first seat (who barges in on her whenever he wants, apparently lmao). So there’s a foundation there to build off of in a natural way… but that’s the issue.

Everything that is happening now, is not natural. That’s why it’s funny. It’s as if the author got impatient with his own story, and wanted to inject that romance element into it at last, and he wanted to do it IMMEDIATELY. So that’s why we just got an EXPLOSION of shoujo cliches in the form of Asahi lmao.  I’m not mad at it, because it only helps my preferred ship. But it’s not ideal, to say the least.

I think the author did things this way, because he was really trying to do a lot of things at once, which include really bringing Souma to a very low point, rile him up, tear him down, take away everything he wanted: beating his dad, his pride as the first seat, pleasing Erina’s god tongue. And he wanted to do this, because giving Souma the first seat at the end of his first year, was a very tall pedestal to put him on, which is very dangerous for storytelling, because you trap your main character into a tiny box. You need to give him room to grow, but there’s no higher position to take him when the story’s setting is a school, and he gave him the highest position in that school. 

So, in comes Asahi in all his overdramatic glory to strip everything away from Souma, and give him a new, more immediate goal to strive for.  But the author also wanted to (thankfully, IMO) keep Erina involved too, and, again, get that romance plot finally moving. Hence, the shoujo cliche of a guy coming in out of nowhere, and declaring his romantic intentions for the hero’s likely love interest.

There’s also the possibility that the author might be trying to tie in Souma’s backstory through this connection to Jou and Asahi. That is something I’m not sure about at all. I still feel like Souma, and whatever happened to his mom, is still being saved for later, but maybe not. Maybe it’ll be introduced here, too, through all this drama. But, if so, that’s an awful lot of things going on in just one arc IMO.

Now, again, this chapter did not make me mad at all. This was very in keeping with what should logically have followed the last chapters. Souma lost badly. The trashcan thing was over the top though IMO. Wow. ^^’ But the princess carry portion at the end made so much sense in shoujo terms. Of course that happened hahaha. Now, this isn’t a shoujo though, so I’m not sure what will happen next. I don’t know how Erina will react to any of this. She’s never been put into the position before of having someone trying to romance her. So, whatever happens, I personally think it’ll be fun, because as I said, this will likely lead to Erina having romantic feelings for Souma, instead of Asahi, and it’s going to be interesting to see how and why things develop that way.

I do also think it’s intriguing that the author kept Erina very conveniently unconscious throughout the actual food match. He obviously does not want her tasting/judging their food yet. I don’t know if he’s saving it for a final confrontation where Souma comes out on top (probably), or he wanted Erina to taste Asahi’s food on it’s own, away from Souma, because this isn’t supposed to be about pushing Souma’s feelings forward, but about pushing Erina’s to the surface. But I honestly don’t know, and that’s good. I like surprises haha.

So yeah, this chapter just set up what we all assumed would happen, which is that Souma now has to beat Asahi to get his pride (and his dad’s knife) back. And Erina has to deal with this dude wanting to marry her.

I’m having a good time. It’s not great writing. Not by a long shot, but I do see the logic there. Asahi not being foreshadowed ages ago as a character waiting in the wings to take on Souma is not anything I have a problem with. Shounens do this type of thing all the time, where they produce new villains out of nowhere. And as I said, it makes sense that secretive Jou had an apprentice he didn’t mention to Souma. My only other issue, is what the whole midnight chefs plot thread has to do with Asahi’s current actions at Tootsuki. That I don’t get at all. And that’s kind of annoying. And again, the undermining of Jou. DO NOT LIKE.

But the overdramatic shoujo stuff is great. Much amused. 10/10 for the lols alone. xD

[back-and-totheleft]

Total Recall: 10 Best Oliver Stone films

He’s won 10 Golden Globes, nine Oscars, and four BAFTAs during his long and illustrious career — but Oliver Stone has somehow never been the focus of his own Total Recall, so we decided to change that in honor of this weekend’s Savages, an intriguingly cast drug drama based on the Don Winslow novel about a pair of pot farmers racing to free the woman they love from a Mexican drug cartel. Given his lengthy filmography, you know Stone’s got some good stuff in his filmography — and the cream of the crop is right here in this week’s list.

10. W.

The most recent chapter of Stone’s presidential trilogy, W. served George W. Bush — who was wrapping up his second term while it was filmed — with a somewhat muted, surprisingly sympathetic biopic that traced his occasionally haphazard rise from political scion to oil baron and back again. While Josh Brolin earned near-universal praise for his work in the title role, critics found W. as a whole a little harder to take, citing its laconic pace and insufficiently hard-hitting approach as particularly troublesome flaws. For others, however, it proved a warm, fairly witty farewell for the GWB years; as the Chicago Tribune’s Michael Phillips put it, “The film may be ill-timed, arguably unnecessary and no more psychologically probing than any other Stone movie. But much of it works as deft, brisk, slyly engaging docudrama.”

9. COMANDANTE

For a lot of Americans — especially those who grew up during the early years of the Cold War — Fidel Castro is less a world leader than a shadowy boogeyman whose thirst for brinkmanship nearly triggered World War III. But whatever his sins, Castro remains a longtime veteran of international politics and a subject worthy of investigation — hence Oliver Stone’s Comandante, a 93-minute distillation of the three days he spent filming the Cuban leader in 2002. While a sizable number of critics chafed at Stone’s aggressively friendly attitude toward his subject, others saw something of significant, albeit flawed, value; as Alan Morrison argued for Empire, it is “An opportunity frustratingly squandered, but one which still makes for fascinating viewing thanks to Castro’s natural charisma. Errol Morris would have nailed it.”

8. WORLD TRADE CENTER

Oliver Stone is known for his willingness to entertain conspiracy theories, his leftist political leanings, and his fondness for lurid cinematic violence, so when word got out he was planning to direct a movie about the September 11 attacks, some people were understandably nervous. But like any other director worth his title, Stone understands his role as a storyteller, and World Trade Center — starring Nicolas Cage and Michael Peña as a pair of real-life police officers who were caught in the wreckage after the buildings fell — has no room for politics or conspiracies. Its clear-eyed dedication to the people first affected by the attacks — and the selfless bravery of the men and women who worked to rescue the living — was appreciated by critics like David Denby of the New Yorker, who wrote, “The world may not make sense anymore, but Oliver Stone, a warrior still, celebrating courage and endurance, has, in his own way, come home.”

7. NIXON

In the years immediately following JFK, Stone took detours into war epic territory (Heaven & Earth) and social commentary (Natural Born Killers), but he wasn’t finished with the White House yet. With 1995’s ambitious Nixon, Stone gave us Anthony Hopkins as the disgraced former president and Joan Allen as his wife Pat — and while the 192-minute political epic failed to generate much heat at the box office, both Hopkins and Allen received Oscar nominations for their work in the film, which follows a non-linear path through Nixon’s life and career, taking viewers from his California youth through his resignation. “What it finally adds up to,” argued Janet Maslin of the New York Times, “is a huge mixed bag of waxworks and daring, a film that is furiously ambitious even when it goes flat, and startling even when it settles for eerie, movie-of-the-week mimicry.”

6. WALL STREET

Smart, sleek, and eminently quotable, Stone’s yuppie jeremiad Wall Street gifted Michael Douglas with what arguably became the most iconic role of his career: He was simply perfect as the oily, morally adrift Gordon Gekko, and although Gekko’s signature proclamation that “greed is good” would go on to haunt Douglas, he was an emblematic character for an era in American history when it became acceptable to not only dedicate your life to the naked pursuit of wealth, but to attain it by any means necessary. Stone, who co-wrote the screenplay, based the character on a number of stockbrokers — including his own father — and Douglas embodied Gekko so well that he ended up winning an Oscar for his work. “Like the rest of Stone’s oeuvre, it’s about as subtle as a sledgehammer,” wrote Christopher Lloyd of the Sarasota Herald-Tribune. “But his filmmaking style is like heavy metal: When he hits the right chords, nobody plays with as much power or brash energy.”

5. TALK RADIO

A rare starring vehicle for monologist/playwright/character actor/cult hero Eric Bogosian, Talk Radio found Stone behind the cameras for a loose adaptation of Bogosian’s play of the same name. Inspired by the real-life assassination of Denver DJ Alan Berg, Radio centers around Dallas radio personality Barry Champlain, whose deliberately provocative style (and decidedly non-Red State political views) make him a target of hate mail and bomb threats even as his show is poised to achieve national syndication. Saying it “has the loony intensity of those impassioned conspiracy theorists who look out at the world and see patterns of corruption spreading in all directions,” the Washington Post’s Hal Hinson declared, “it’s another of Stone’s wake-up calls to America.”

4. JFK

A two-time Oscar winner and controversial, career-rejuvenating smash hit for Stone, JFK reconstructs John F. Kennedy’s assassination and then spends most of its epic 189-minute length sifting through the wreckage, treating the killing as a murder mystery that New Orleans D.A. Jim Garrison (Kevin Costner) doggedly attempts to solve at any cost. With an impeccable supporting cast that included Sissy Spacek, Kevin Bacon, Tommy Lee Jones, and Gary Oldman, as well as a screenplay that challenged long-held assumptions about Kennedy’s death, JFK reignited interest in the assassination, eventually leading to new legislation that ordered a reinvestigation and promised that all documents related to the killing would be made public by 2017. And while many critics agreed that the movie could have benefited from a more rigorous approach to the facts, it remains, in the words of the Washington Post’s Desson Thomson, “A riveting marriage of fact and fiction.”

3. PLATOON

The first installment in Stone’s so-called Vietnam trilogy, 1986’s Platoon took a hard look at American involvement in the Vietnam War — and earned Stone Best Picture and Best Director at the Oscars and the Golden Globes in the bargain. Taking a grunt’s-eye view of the war, it puts a human face on the conflict, pitting Willem Dafoe (as Sergeant Elias, mentor to Chris, the young soldier played by Charlie Sheen) against a fellow sergeant (played by Tom Berenger) in a dreadful battle for the platoon. It is, as Roger Ebert wrote, “A film that says…that before you can make any vast, sweeping statements about Vietnam, you have to begin by understanding the bottom line, which is that a lot of people went over there.”

2. BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY

He earned positive reviews for his role in Rain Man, but to many scribes, the Tom Cruise of the late 1980s was little more than the pretty face out in front of critically savaged hits like Cocktail — likable under the right circumstances, but lacking real depth. Oliver Stone saw something different, trusting Cruise with 1989’s Born on the Fourth of July — and Cruise repaid him by delivering the most harrowing performance to that point in his career, committing so deeply to his portrayal of paralyzed Vietnam vet Ron Kovic that, according to Stone, he came close to injecting himself with a solution that would have incurred temporary paralysis. Not all critics loved Fourth of July, but even those who had issues with the film were forced to take notice of Cruise’s performance — and for Vincent Canby of the New York Times, the end result was “the most ambitious nondocumentary film yet made about the entire Vietnam experience.”

1. SALVADOR

Stone’s films have received a combined 31 Academy Award nominations (and counting), but he picked up his first for his co-writing credit on the screenplay for Salvador, a 1986 war drama about a rather unlikable American journalist (James Woods, also nominated for an Oscar) who’s burned so many bridges that his only professional recourse is to head to El Salvador with his unemployed DJ buddy (Jim Belushi) to try and find stories in what they initially regard as a relatively inconsequential war. Like a lot of films that try and shine a light on war while shots are still being fired, Salvador bombed at the box office — but it found an appreciative audience with writers like Rob Gonsalves of eFilmCritic, who called it “One of Oliver Stone’s best films, and absolutely James Woods’ best performance.”

-Jeff Giles, Rotten Tomatoes, Jul 5 2012 [x]

[gaiyofanfiction]

Save Me (9)

Chapter1: Second Time? - Chapter 2: Awake - Chapter 3: First Love - Chapter 4: Mama - Chapter 5: Reflection - Chapter 6: Lie - Chapter 7: Stigma - Chapter 8: Begin - Chapter 9: Taken - Chapter 10: Torture  - Chapter 11: The Plan - Chapter 12: The Escape            

Reader X Jungkook

Mental Hospital AU

Angst/Thriller/Romance

A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you for all the love of the story. We really appreciate it. We really hope you'll like this chapter. It's a little on the shorter side but we are pretty proud of it. The next chapter shall be full of drama. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: This story is pure fiction. We did take their personalities and match as best we can with illnesses, however we do not claim that the boys from BTS have these mental illnesses! Also, we did as much research as we can on each disorder. We are not meaning to offend anyone who has these illnesses at all. ALSO, WE DO KNOW BTS CHANGED THEIR ENGLISH NAME TO BEYOND THE SCENE BUT WE’RE USING BULLETPROOF BOYSCOUTS CAUSE IT FITS THE STORY BETTER. Trigger warning: Mentions of mental illness, hospitals, self harm, suicide attempt and abuse. Both Gaisho and I recommend, if you feel like you need to go to the hospital for ANY reason, please don’t be afraid to do so. It can help. If you EVER feel like you need to talk to anyone, vent, or need advice on anything, please do not hesitate to msg us! We’ve been through it all. Character Descriptions so far: Reader- Chronic Depression, Derealization Disorder and Dissociative Amnesia Jin - Narcissistic Personality Disorder (With homicidal tendencies) Suga- Narcolepsy and Chronic Depression J-Hope- Bipolar II Disorder Rap Monster- OCD and Paranoia Jimin- Explosive Anger Disorder V- Schizoaffective Disorder Jungkook- Agoraphobia

Chapter 9: Taken:         “Jungkook, don't worry. The memory loss is due to the EST and is only temporary.” Rap Monster tries to reassure the younger.

        Jungkook grunts in response, not even glancing at him. He's watching you sleep soundly in the wheelchair, his head resting on his arms.

        “Jungkook,” Suga shakes him for a response.

        Jungkook finally looks at the boys, his eyes bloodshot from crying. “I know. But the memory lost was more this time. I mean, we've forgotten things before but never a whole group of people.”

        Rap Monster opens his mouth to respond but is interrupted by a very happy Jin and J-hope.

        “We are good!” Jin grins as he slams down a folder on the table.

        Five boys look up at them confused. “What is this?” Suga grabs the folder and opens it.

        “It's Y/N’s medical file. It'll tell us why she's really in here.” J-hope smiles proudly, sitting down next to Suga.

        V raises an eyebrow. “How the hell did you get this? We can't just go stealing other people's files!” He hisses.

        “It says here she has ‘Derealization Disorder’ and 'Dissociative Amnesia’” Suga reads out loud.

        Jimin tilts his head, “those are some big words. I've never heard of that and I've been here for over a year.”

        Everyone looks to Rap Monster to translate that into a more simplified explanation. Rap Monster whistles as he looks at the file.

        “Wow. Those are some of the more rare disorders. So, Derealization Disorder is basically when the person has a hard time telling the difference between what is real and what is a dream, so to speak. And Dissociative Amnesia is when the person has an interruption of their memories or thoughts. So, like how Jimin would have anger episodes or Jungkook would have anxiety attacks, Y/N would lose parts of her memory or would be in a dream-like state and think it's real.” He explains.

        The boys 'ooh’ and nod. J-hope snaps his fingers. “That would explain why Y/N was freaking out in her room when Jungkook and I woke her up. She was crying and kept asking me if this was all real.”

        Suga nods in understanding. “That also explains why she always looked so tired and said she had sleeping problems.”

        Jungkook lifts his head up in realization. “That makes sense with how she lost so much of her memory when she had EST. The treatment must have triggered her amnesia, making it worse than if it were just from the EST.”

        Jin takes the file and continues to read it. His eyes widen when he gets further into the report. “It also says she's tried to commit suicide countless times. And she's even forgot almost every time she tried.”

        The boys all look at you, fast asleep in your chair. “The poor girl can't discern dreams from reality. It must be scary. And to forget every time you tried to kill yourself? I couldn't dream of it.” Jimin says in a low voice.

        “I kind of understand.” All the boys turn to V. “It's scary, not knowing what's real and what's in your head. You get confused so much that the easiest thing to do would be to… End it.”

        Jimin rubs circles on V’s back, knowing everything V went through.

        You finally awaken from your deep sleep and look at all the seven boys in front of you with confusion. “Uhm, can I help you?”

        Jungkook grabs your hand, “Y/N, i-it’s me! I’m so glad you’re -”

        You quickly pull your hand away from his, “get your hands off of me, freak!”

        Jungkook’s anxiety shot through the roof and he ran out the door. V ran after him while the rest stayed.

        “Y/N, do you recognize us at all?” Rap Monster asks.

        “Look, I don’t know who you guys are, but I’d appreciate if your little party would get out of my room.” You said with a cold glare.

        Rap Monster looked to the rest of the boys and signaled them all out. You went back to sleep.

        The rest of the boys caught up with V and Jungkook. V was trying to calm Jungkook down, but it wasn’t helping.

        “S-she… She forgot me,” Jungkook says as tears fall into his shaky hands.

        “Just give her a few more hours. Maybe her memory will come back.”

        A couple of hours pass by and all the boys were just down the hall from your room waiting. 

        “NO, STOP. JUNGKOOK, PLEASE HELP!”

        The boys jump, startled at the sudden yelling. Jungkook instantly stands up and turns to you, who has just woken up. He runs down the hall to where you are and kneels in front of you.

        “Hey, Y/N! It's okay, I'm right here!” he grabs your arm and shakes you awake. You open your eyes and look around wildly. Your eyes land on Jungkook and you're suddenly overtaken with emotion. You throw your arms around him and bury your head into his shoulder. He's taken aback but quickly recovers and hugs you tightly. “It's okay baby, I'm not going anywhere.”

        “Kookie, I'm so sorry I forgot about you and everyone. I couldn't help it. The EST and then my amnesia…” you sniffle.

        He rubs your back and shushes you. “It's alright, Y/N. I know. We all know about the amnesia.”

        You pull back gently and look at him confused. He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Well, you see, J-hope and Jin decided to steal your medical file.” He grins his bunny grin and rolls you over to the rest of the group.

        The boys all smile at you and tell you how happy they are to see you remembering everything. You smile back and thank them. You notice that your file is open on the table and you raise an eyebrow.

        Jin’s smile widens into a look of pride. “Look what we have accomplished, Y/N! Well, it was mostly me. It was my brilliant plan and it was executed brilliantly by mwah.” J-hope glares at his friend, who glances back nervously. “Oh and J-hope helped.”

        You chuckle, “I see that. Well, I guess that saves me time in explaining why I'm here.”

        Suga places a hand over yours, the action getting a small pout from Jungkook. “Why didn't you tell us sooner?”

        Your smile fades and you look down out of guilt. “I never have good luck when it comes to those issues I have. Every time someone finds out, they end up leaving me because they can't handle it.” Your voice drops down to an almost whisper. “I didn't want you guys to be another one just to leave me. So I tried to hide it.”

        J-hope shakes his head and brings your chin up with his finger to look at him, also an act that didn't go unnoticed by the youngest. “Y/N, all of us has problems. You honestly thought we'd leave if we found out?”

        “You helped us with our issues, you listened to us and didn't judge based off what goes on up here,” V points to his head. “So we aren't going to judge you or leave you just because of your past or what goes on inside your head.”

        The boys nod in agreement. You smile at all the seven boys. 'These seven are really something special.’

        “Thank you all so much. I really appreciate it more than you know.” you squeeze Jungkook’s hand and smile up at him.

        Suddenly you all hear the door to the room slam open, revealing the overly happy nurse and two male nurses. They stalk up to the table you and the boys are sitting at, making you all stiffen in anticipation.

        “Ms. Y/L/N and Mr. Jeon, if you'll please come with us.” The nurse gives her sickly sweet smile.

        You furrow your brows in confusion and look up at Jungkook, who suddenly stood in front of you as to block you from something.

        Rap Monster stands up, narrowing his eyes. “What do you need with Y/N and Jungkook?”

        The nurse blinks and then laughs her high pitched irritating fake laugh. “Awe, Mr. Kim. It's so cute that you pretend to be the leader of the group.”

        You and Jungkook slowly start to follow the nurse, but just before you both leave the room Rap Monster whispers to you both, “be careful and don’t be too crass. Just get yourselves back in one piece… I mean it.”

        The both of you nod to Rap Monster and head out. Suddenly you and Jungkook were injected with a sedative by two nurses. 

        Jimin shot up, “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!?” 

        Dr. Choi appears before Jimin and smirks. “Now, now… I suggest you calm down and be a sheep just like the rest of your little crew, otherwise you’ll meet the same fate as these two.”

        Jimin was shaking with anger, but bit his tongue and sat down.

        The boys helplessly watch you both being dragged by the nurses. They plopped your limp bodies into upright chairs in a cold, dingy treatment room. 

        The both of you were strapped to chairs that were purposely situated so that you were facing Jungkook. 

        “Wake them up,” Dr. Choi instructed the nurses. One nurse slapped Jungkook as the other attempted to wake you up.

        You slowly come to and notice Jungkook staring right back with woeful eyes. His expression made your heart break. 

        “It’s going to be okay, Kookie. I promise,” you gave him a smile to try to make him feel better, but you knew something bad was about to happen.

        “Alright. Let’s proceed. Usually EST, or electroshock therapy, is administered after a patient is sedated. However, after multiple sessions with Mr. Jeon, it seems EST is no longer the best solution. While efforts were futile, it was then we noticed that a change in behavior was made when another patient was involved…” Dr. Choi says as he stops behind you and puts a hand on your shoulder sending shivers down your spine.

        Jungkook grew angry and growled. ‘No. He can’t… This sick bastard!’

        Immediately you caught on. You tried to calm Jungkook down, “Kookie, please… Stay calm. Remember what Rap Monster said.”

        It was too late. “You… YOU GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF HER!” Jungkook yelled.

        Dr. Choi snickered, “now that’s what I like to see. Hook her up.”

        The nurses started to put different color-coded leads on your head. You shook furiously, but they still managed to get them on. They stuffed a towel in your mouth as well.

        Jungkook’s eyes widened and his breathing became more rapid, “n-no… You wouldn’t dare…”

[Masterlist]

[fioreofthemarch]

The Ballad’s Beginning - Ch 5/6 Notes

After the long set up in Chapters 1-4, Chapter 5 & 6 finally the major pieces fall into place. Time is ticking down and the Calamity is only a few short years away. Let’s talk about that.

Sign: The idea for Link and Mipha to use sign language evolved pretty naturally out of a question of how to portray pre-Calamity Link in a way that made sense. I don’t consider him in my canon to be selectively mute. The main reason for this is because I wouldn’t know how to portray that respectfully and accurately. So in this instance, he uses sign almost as a secret language, and as a way of communicating things that he struggles to say. This sets up (as a commenter pointed out to me) a nice secret-in-public relationship, where everyone knows they are close, but no one quite knows how they feel. In Chapter 6, we learn that Link’s father Micah does not know the language, and this implicitly creates a small rift between them.

Princesses, Princesses: I really didn’t want Ch 5 to draw any comparisons between Mipha and Zelda, or to state one or the other as the ‘better’ partner. I have always been of the opinion that Link genuinely loved them both, but in different ways and at different times. What I wanted to show primarily was that Link struggled in both past and present with expressing himself. That said, I really enjoyed showing the strong relationship between Mipha and Dorephan (especially how much faith he has in her), and how Mipha approached her royal duties in general. She is completely selfless, and (a quality she shares with all the Champions) her first priority has always been her people.

The Sword That Seals the Darkness but also Kind Of Fucks You Up Beforehand: The recently released BOTW Masterworks contains a tidbit about how Link found the Mastersword – he just turned up with it one day, and no one knows how he got it. Now, that’s all well and good, but I wanted to inject a bit more drama. Having the plot thread be that dozens of Hylian soldiers die trying to retrieve the Sword not only adds to the continuing sense of doom in TBB, but shows how formidable the Mastersword actually is. I also really enjoyed showing how the Sword affects Link’s relationship with his father and Battlemaster Otra. Link is the hero, certainly, but even before assuming that role, there is a lot of pressure put on him by his mentors. Which, parenthetically, draws an interesting parallel to Princess Zelda, who he meets for the first time as they both eavesdrop on King Rhoam’s meeting with Otra.

Champions and Beasts: Finally, all four Divine Beasts have been found, and the four Champions have been called. This aspect of Hyrule’s history was most excited to explore, specifically 1) How were the Beasts uncovered and named and 2) how were the four Champions brought to Rhoam’s attention. Malachi’s re-occurring tarot reading codifies these events (perhaps a little too much), and was included to show that what is coming is inevitable. Rhoam may try to resist, but Hyrule’s fate is in the cards, and they’ve already been drawn.

Back at the Ranch aka the Present: Let’s recap the present day storyline. Zelda and Link continue to get themselves involved in shenanigans across Hyrule, while both evolving into their new roles as Queen and Battlemaster respectively. They are also now engaged to be married -- a move both political and personal. Link has taken the helm these two chapters, and we see that he is wrestling with his oft-repeated decision to let the dead rest. Both Mipha and his father’s memory haunt him, but he manages to make his peace in the realisation that he has been given a second chance and is now free to live the life he wishes.  

[placegrenette]

A list of things I love about “Ah! Yah! Mah!”

(It’s a long list.)

(But not as long as my draft literature review chapter, which was 16,000 words, including bibliography and a whole lot of written throat-clearing. If you have pity to spare, send it to my committee.)

1. To refer back to my original commentary: I love its bigness, the vast expanse of the song. It’s also a nice close to the promotion cycle, where “Su Asty” and “Yeski Taspa Bii’“ were similarly packed, “Bayau” and “Mooz” a little less ambitious. (A little, in the case of “Bayau.”)

2. While remaining very much a Ninety One song. I tend to favor the specific over the general with pop lyrics, songs where the performers make their skin in the game more obvious. (”Tend to”: and yet my favorite song off 1989 is “New Romantics.” I’m not consistent.) “Aiyptama,” as good as it is, was pre-packaged; you don’t have to know anything about Ninety One to enjoy it. “Ah! Yah! Mah!” is not only full of callbacks to previous Qarangy Zharyq songs but continuing the overall theme -- see the analysis by @qisforqazaq, which points out the references in greater detail.

(2a. I’ll add one more reference: Alem’s Make your brains cross the borders line echoing ZaQ’s Borders do not exist, they are only in the vastness of your consciousness in “Mooz.” The Kazakh lines are Жоқ шекаралар, ол сенің миыңдағы мекендерде бар тек and Таптаурыдарыңды бұзаын, Шекарадан ассын миың, respectively, so the repeat of “borders” doesn’t seem to be simply a coincidence of translation. Thus “Mooz” would be about recognizing the illusion of borders and “Ah! Yah! Mah!” about destroying that illusion.)

3. While we’re talking lyrics, let me rave about my favorite: AZ’s From your conversations, I feel nauseous, as if I’m drinking tea with fat. “Mooz” used tea metaphors to throw shade too, but that’s not why I love that line. It is perfect -- at once visceral, getting the feeling it wants to convey across in a minimum of words, and so culturally specific; when would an American rapper deliver an insult by talking about tea? And it’s so AZ, too, casually dismissive. It makes a whole human experience instantly legible and I love it.

4. Which leads me to AZ’s and ZaQ’s whole section. Way back before Ninety One even debuted and I was raving about Infinite’s Reality, my favorite part of “Take Care of the Ending” was Dongwoo’s and Hoya’s trading off the rap, the way they bounced off each other. AZ and ZaQ trade off with even more energy, and complement that in the video with a delightful playfulness that gets a lot of things done at once.

apologies, y'all, I still can't make GIFs for crap

With a Korean group I’d be tempted to speculate about fanservice, but Ninety One doesn’t seem to have embraced that part of idol marketing, and I don’t get a shippy vibe from this sequence. If Leslie Fiedler, God bless his memory for all time, were around he’d call this reveling in homosociality, affectionate but not sexual, a friendship on full display. But the sequence also -- after Alem staring down the camera, Ace having to cope with the unexpected (more on that in a minute) and Bala turning Bala Seduction Mode up to 11 -- injects some needed humor into the video. We’re going to make your brains cross the borders, sure, but it’s going to be fun.

5. Speaking of Bala:

I mean they all look good but Bibotta gets an extra round of applause for the sequined-jacket-and-curls idea.

6. Speaking of Bala #2: mouthing along to the sound effects during the first dance sequence, when he’s right in front and you can’t miss it. Nine out of ten video directors would have cut, told him to knock that off, and re-shot it. The tenth is Boss Yerbolat, and God bless him for it.

7. I mean they all look good:

apologies again for the small GIF but static shots didn't do AZ justice

8. Y’all know what it’s time to talk about.

@miiumao commented to me that The Hat was the second time she’d been genuinely shocked by Ninety One and their approach to masculinity, the first time being the 2016 New Year’s greetings video -- which I, used to K-pop conventions, hadn’t found shocking at all. Which should serve as a reminder to you all that I am not a good source on gender presentations in Kazakhstan. But that hasn’t stopped me before and it’s not going to now.

I love the hat. Or, rather, the decision to use the hat. Which should shock no one. (For what it’s worth I remain convinced, in the absence of direct evidence, that Bibotta was inspired by Taemin’s “Everybody”-era promotional pictures.) That said, I don’t think the hat entirely works on Ace. His scenes play as if Boss Yerbolat instructed him to act haughty and disdainful, and he overshot “haughty and disdainful” and landed on “I was promised a nap twenty minutes ago goddamn it.” Y’all know AZ would have handled that hat without a second thought. Bala probably could’ve worked the hat just fine. (ZaQ would have said hell no, and Alem would have lasted about thirty seconds before bursting out laughing.) So that Ace got the hat is interesting in and of itself.

Assume with me two different spectra of masculinity, or “masculinity” if you prefer: female/male and boy/man. Add in submissive/dominant, which is (again, in the West; I can’t speak for Kazakhstan) culturally tied to the first two, for better or for worse. AZ, for example, has been using more coded-feminine and coded-submissive gestures -- compare his body language in the “Aiyptama” video to that in “Su Asty” or “Ah! Yah! Mah!” and you’ll see what I mean -- but he never really comes across as boyish, as opposed to full-on adult. It’s something of a surprise, in the Space videos, to hear him giggle.

Whereas Ace has been in charge of boyish appeal from the very first verse of “Aiyptama.” (See Anne Helen Petersen on boyishness and the teen idol -- again speaking very specifically of a Western, Hollywood-produced set of products.) There’s a reason why my fellow Eaglez (*kisses* to Cay and Crystal) used to joke about picking him up from the day care. As late as “Yeski Taspa Bii’“ he’s the guy gently hugging and listening to the girl while the other four act out drama in the background. The appeal of the boyish hero is that he steps aside from the dominant/submissive paradigm, in his practice of gentleness and restraint. To play with dominant/submissive tropes is adult territory. To play with obvious femininity is too, for that matter: we can deal with grown men using feminine gestures to paradoxically assert their power -- think Little Richard and David Bowie; that’s the tradition that I’d argue AZ is working in, and G-Dragon worked in some before AZ -- but the feminized “boy” is another matter entirely.

But in “Bayau” we got prone, head-bowed, eyeliner-to-hell-and-back, shyly-smiling Ace talking about his personal patron of the night: the boyish member seemingly going for submissive tropes in a way that suggested he knew what he was doing. And now on top of that is a shooting-for-haughty Ace with an exaggerated hat that reads as feminine and body language that runs counter to the rest of the video -- Alem is throwing his body around the space as he does, Bala is at the head of the table, ZaQ is at the podium, but Ace has his legs crossed and arms folded close to his body. Thus boyish + feminine + haughty and imperial + submissive = ...? I don’t know! No wonder Ace needed a nap.

9. Leaving that entirely unresolved and turning to a different aspect of Ninety One’s treatment of gender: ZaQ starting his final announcement with “Ladies and the rest!” I love that. Intentionally or not, it comes across as Ninety One centering itself as a group that appeals to women and talks to women, without apology: with insolent pride, actually.

10. I haven’t spoken of ZaQ enough here, so speaking of ZaQ: his declaration that “My skill is a collection of randomly scattered rhymes in accelerated motion,” which is both sweetly self-deprecating and 100% accurate.

11. And finally: if you can do it, you can do it! Do it! Back to the point about specificity: if “Ah! Yah! Mah!” were my first Ninety One single I wouldn’t find anything particularly interesting or inspiring about the line. But knowing what they’ve done so far, and what they’re doing, and what they’re trying to do -- create an entire music scene practically out of whole cloth, in Kazakh no less, which let me emphasize is not the dominant language of pop even within Kazakhstan. And ambitious enough and grandiose enough to try and create this scene not by analyzing their steps with the question of how each will appeal to the broadest possible audience, but by building their own narrative and all but daring the audience to follow along. Not if it will work or if it will sell or if it’s acceptable, but if you can do it. And I’m listening and feeling a new energy, wanting to scream too. Ah! Yah! MAAAAH!

[blockingtheshot]

Top 15 films of 2017

Yeah Twin Peaks: The Return was better than all of these but wygd? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

15. Good Time

A pulse-pounding neon-soaked descent into hell, Good Time has a classic setup of a robbery gone wrong, but it’s the breathtaking way the Safdie brothers stage it that truly sets this story apart. A completely unrecognizable Robert Pattinson stars as Connie Nikas, a demented, strung-out criminal searching for a way to break his brother out of Riker’s Island only to be sidetracked by his own vices and incompetencies. You simply can’t take your eyes off it.

14. Okja

Every film by Bong Joon-Ho has an uncanny ability to whiz by so effortlessly and his latest creature feature is no exception. Crafting a significantly more sympathetic beast than in his earlier The Host, Okja is a classic tale of human/animal friendship in the vein of E.T.. But make no mistake, Okja is a pointed satire of the giant capitalist racket that is the meat industry. It never sacrifices the good story whilst still delivering this message however, and Okja will tug at your heartstrings as well as thrill your inner action junkie.

13. Logan

In a year full of very fine superhero films (Wonder Woman and Thor: Ragnarok come to mind) Logan easily towered over the rest. Anchored by two excellent performances by longtime Wolverine Hugh Jackman as well as Patrick Stewart as an aging Professor X, James Mangold proved a good story told well eclipses the novelty of a cinematic universe any day. It’s a stirring climax to a franchise that desperately needed an injection of pathos.

12. The Shape of Water

Guillermo del Toro has proven he’s the most versatile maker of monsters in this medium, and he returns on a smaller scale to tell this fantastic fairy tale about a webbed fish-man and the mute woman who falls in love with him. It may stick a little closer to formula than some might like, but it makes up for this with some brilliant performances from the entire cast, especially Sally Hawkins as protagonist Eliza and Richard Jenkins as her equally lonely best friend. It’s a film that only Del Toro could make and he imbues it with his signature amount of heart to make it a lovely fairy tale.

11. Personal Shopper

Personal Shopper is a not a film eager to divulge its mysteries. A dreamy, creepy exterior covers the heart of this film that’s really a gut-wrenching portrait of grief. Kristen Stewart is at her absolute best as a grieving sister moonlighting as a personal shopper for a member of the Paris elite. Her descent into paranoia and madness is both spine-tingling and mesmerizing and the ending will knock you out.

10. John Wick: Chapter Two

The original John Wick was a welcome and pulpy surprise return to form for action maestro Keanu Reeves, but its sequel goes for broke in a way that pays off in a way I doubt anyone could have expected. The action is bolder, the stakes are even higher, and Wick’s society of assassins becomes deeper and more interesting than it had any right to be.

9. Call Me By Your Name

A tender, beautiful romance set in the heart of northern Italy, Call Me By Your Name will make you long for the dog days of summer and pine for the caress of a lost love. Both Timothee Chalamet and Armie Hammer give Oscar-caliber performances as two star-crossed lovers who share one sweet summer together. The exceptional screenplay by James White makes it feel so authentic and the haunting songs by Sufjan Stevens will make sure this is not a film that will leave your soul any time soon. 

8. Phantom Thread

One of the film industry’s most unique voices, Paul Thomas Anderson seems to challenge his own ambitions with every new film he creates and Phantom Thread is no exception. Set in post-WWII London, Daniel Day-Lewis (in his alleged final performance) plays dressmaker Reynolds Woodcock who falls in love with the young ingenue Alma, played to perfection by Vicky Krieps. To get too far deep into the plot would spoil the magic, but Phantom Thread is one of Paul Thomas Anderson’s funniest, quirkiest and most elegant movies he’s made in his incredible career.

7. Get Out

To harp too long on the timeliness and sharpness of Get Out’s societal commentary may be natural, but can do a disservice to just how tightly and expertly it executes as a thriller. Yes, Jordan Peele’s script contains some of the sharpest barbs towards white society in the Trump era, but it would be just as thrilling without them. Get Out is one of the best horror films in years and the future is blindingly bright for Jordan Peele’s directing career.  

6. After The Storm

Hirokazu Kore-eda’s After the Storm is an incredibly endearing tale of an ordinary Japanese family, a relationship drama about a man trying to do right by his ex-wife, his son and his aging mother. Full of humor, incredible performances and a bittersweet melancholiness to the whole affair, this is the cinematic equivalent of a warm hug that will leave you misty-eyed. Don’t miss this one now that it’s made its way to Amazon Prime.

5. Star Wars: The Last Jedi

What better way to characterize the year that was 2017 than failed resistances, distrust in old institutions and everything going to hell in a handbasket. If being that thematically resonant was all The Last Jedi was able to accomplish, it would still be a fine movie. But Rian Johnson’s assured direction and script full of zippy and wonderful dialogue made sure The Last Jedi is of the finest entries in the entire saga.

4. Dunkirk

In many ways, Dunkirk is a film that Christopher Nolan’s entire career has been building towards. A ticking clock in three concentric circles, Dunkirk dramatizes the thrilling escape of one of the most pivotal moments of World War II by telling the story from land, sea and air. Dunkirk is much more than its narrative gimmick, however, as this is easily one of the most tense hour and forty minutes you can endure on the big screen. Its editing of each dramatic escape is simply thrilling and cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema makes us of every inch of detail the 70mm IMAX cameras can capture. Seek out a 70mm screening before it’s too late as it may be the best theater experience out there.

3. Blade Runner 2049

Even with people as talented as Denis Villeneuve, Roger Deakins and Ryan Gosling onboard, it was going to take quite a bit of quality for this to be a worthy sequel to arguably the most seminal piece of science fiction cinema ever. And yet Blade Runner 2049 is a stunning work. Rarely is a blockbuster of this size so hypnotic, meditative and thoughtful, and rarely does a sequel come so close to eclipsing its original.

2. Baby Driver

There’s no one making movies today quite like Edgar Wright does, and Baby Driver is but the latest shining example of a master at work. Wright made a movie for all of us who drum on our steering wheel too much, stay in the car a little extra to finish a great tune of air guitar, or need an extra "HEY" to pull out our earphones. This is a symphony of action, hilarity and pure filmmaking bliss set to a delightful soundtrack with editing that is head-spinningly frantic. Frankly you won’t have more fun watching a movie than Baby Driver. 

1. Lady Bird

Coming-of-age films have a tendency to ring a little hollow if they don’t mirror your own experience or the dialogue feels even just a tiny bit off. Lady Bird avoids every single one of these pitfalls and morphs into some universal while at the same time feeling so singular. Greta Gerwig also wrote the incredible Frances Ha and simply knocks you flat with this as her directorial debut. Each character has just the right amount of quirk while also feeling so authentic in their delivery. Saoirse Ronan is simply perfect as the titular Lady Bird and equally amazing is her mother played by Laurie Metcalf. It’s an odyssey about youth and growing up that will make you both cackle with laughter and leave you misty-eyed with tears. 

[bughead-fic-request]

I would like to thank @leaalda for making these amazing banners.

This is an effort to spread the word about all fan fiction writers in our little fandom. If you would like to be featured or nominate a writer, please contact me. Please reblog this post if you can and check out some of @bettyluvsjuggie work!

1. First things first, if someone wanted to read your stories where can they find them.

http://archiveofourown.org/users/bettyluvsjuggie/works or my taglist on tumblr https://bettyluvsjuggie.tumblr.com/search/bljwrites

2. Tell us a little about yourself.

I’m 18 years old, and I live in England (I don’t have a posh accent and I don’t like tea- sorry for betraying the stereotypes). I’m a pretty artsy person, I love drama and especially dance- I’ve been dancing since I was like 3. You know that leg stretch thing Madelaine does as Cheryl, I can do that. I also love photography- I don’t have a great camera or anything yet, I just like taking pretty pictures.

3. What do you never leave home without?

My phone for sure.

4. Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Night owl definitely, my sleep pattern is so messed up.

5. If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?

Gosh, that’s a tough one. I’d love to visit Wonderland, as in ‘Alice in…’ because I’ve always loved that story, but I wouldn’t want to live there!

6. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met.

I’ve met a couple of British Olympic and Paralympic medal winners but I don’t remember their names… clearly they weren’t that famous?

7. What are some of your favorite movies/TV?

I love classic 80s movies like The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller, St. Elmo’s Fire. I’m also a sucker for romantic movies like the first time, The Notebook, Me Before You.

TV shows? Obviously Riverdale, also Teen Wolf, Orphan Black, Brooklyn Nine Nine and Skins.

8. What are some of your favorite bands/musicians?

Varies so much across so many genres but some favourites currently are Oh Wonder, Ed Sheeran, Christine and the Queens, Halsey, All Time Low etc.

9. Favorite Books?

Anything sappy and romantic lol, and it’s a little clichéd tbf but the Fault in our Stars by John Green is one of my favourites I think, not that I’ve read it in ages, but I remember thinking it was really well written. A childhood favourite is Ballet Shoes by Noel Fielding.

10. Favorite Food?

Chicken, a broad category I know, but that’s what’s great about it! I also love spicy food.

11. Biggest pet peeve?

People who are assholes for no reason, it costs nothing to be kind.

12. What did you want to be when you were little? What do you want to be now?

I wanted to be a ballet dancer lol, how clichéd but like I said, I’m into dance. Now I want to work in psychology, probably working with children. Mostly I want to do something that makes me happy and might help make others a little happier too

13. What are your biggest fears? Do you have any strange fears?

I am f’ing terrified of needles- which sucks because I am desperate for a tattoo, but I have a panic attack when I have to get injections? Also, thunderstorms. I don’t understand how people love them because they terrify me!! I fully have to hide under a blanket and try and drown out the thunder and lightning

14. When you are on your deathbed what would be the one you’d regret not doing?

I hope that when I die, I can look back and see a full and happy life. I know that there will inevitably be ups and downs, but I hope that I will let the light outweigh the dark. So if anything, I would regret not allowing myself to be happy.

Okay… lets talk about your writing!

15. Which is your favorite of the fics you've written for the Bughead fandom?

A one-shot I wrote called Lovesick - Betty and Jughead are both sick after Jughead catches a cold from Betty. I really loved writing Jughead because he’s very over the top and whiny and it was just fun to do!

16. Which was the hardest to write, in terms of plot?

Currently my only multi-chapter is called He Was Gone - it’s set in two different timelines, sort of like flashbacks vs present time. I guess I don’t really struggle with the plot, but sometimes the words just won’t happen the way I want them to.

17. How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? Do you people watch? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?

Sometimes for my one-shots I look at prompts but I never really follow it exactly, that’s why I never credit one. Does that make sense? Like I put my own spin on it. For example: if the prompt is Person A takes care of Person B while they’re sick. I say nah, make them both sick.

The rest of the time, it’ll be an idea that has manifested in my brain. Some fluffy situation that I can’t stop thinking about all day and have to put into words as soon as I can.

Sometimes I write while listening to music but it’s not essential.

18. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?

I’m not good at smut but then again I haven’t really tried, maybe I will, maybe it won’t. I’m really enjoying writing fluff right now so it doesn’t bother me too much.

19. Least favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

I can't really pinpoint an exact thing but I have definitely posted chapters of my multi-chapter that I wasn't completely satisfied with.

20. Favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

From Lovesick again (I really do like it): “You’re very hot Jug.”

“Why thank you, my dear. And I love you very much, but I am in no state to fool around today” he deadpanned. I like sarcastic Jughead

21. Favorite character to write?

Jughead and Betty, can’t separate them sorry. I mostly only write those two anyway in my one-shots. I’m just in love with those characters and their love story.

22. Favorite line or lines of dialogue that you've written?

Jughead waited for Betty’s eyes to flutter open and meet his, meadows of green locked with floods of blue. He sighed quietly, “there is nothing in this world, or the next, that will stop me from kissing you.”

23. Best comment/review you’ve ever received?

Literally every comment I receive makes my heart sing and puts a smile on my face. There are no favourites because they all mean the world to me. Whether it’s three words or thirty, I can guarantee any comment will make me happy.

24. How do you handle bad reviews or comments?

I’ve had none so far thankfully, but I imagine I would try and not let the bad outweigh the good. I understand that’s sometimes easier said than done though.

25. If you could change anything in any of your stories, what would it be?

Sometimes I post a chapter and then when I’m writing the next one and I think of something and I’m like ‘damn that would have been so much better’ but I can’t really pick out something specific.

What is your favorite story you’ve ever written? Any fandom?

Before I entered the bughead fandom I didn’t even read fanfiction of any sort, let alone write it so there are no fics from other fandoms. I’ve already said Lovesick a few times (Really? Hadn’t noticed.) so I’ll pick another one. I am really loving writing He Was Gone to be honest, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone else do the Now/Then thing that I’m doing and I’m just enjoying exploring that.

27. What are you reading right now? Both fan fiction and general fiction?

Not really reading any general fiction at the moment sadly, I need to start reading again for sure. But in terms of fanfiction, I literally am LOVING Serpent and the Swan @jugandbettsdetectiveagency, meet the morning, which has just finished but it’s one of my favourites @sylwrites, OF COURSE The Stacks by @malmo722, a long time favourite (shout out to its brilliant author who also thought of this awesome idea, thanks for letting me be a part of it <3), there’s definitely loads more and literally tons on my need to read list.

28. Do you have an advice for writers that want to get into this fandom but might be scared?

I’ve seen a lot of people talk about comment culture and reaching out to others so I’ll try and write something a little different.

When you put your work out there for the first time, it is super scary and it can make you feel super vulnerable, I can remember the exact feeling because it feels like barely anytime has passed since I posted my first fic. Try not to expect immediate success, unfortunately it doesn’t happen for everyone. I know it can be intimidating to see a much smaller number of notes on your post than the most well-known writers get, but try and not let it affect you. Instead, try and appreciate every note that you get. Every like, kudos, comment or reblog, no matter how few or how many, means that someone read what you wrote and appreciated it, isn’t that awesome?! I think it’s epic.Also, if there isn’t an immediate or huge response to your fic, don’t let it discourage you. Don’t stop writing, keep going, write more.

And finally, don’t write for other people, write for yourself.

[sssshhhthefilmsabouttostart]

The best and worst films of 2018

If after watching 112 films teaches you anything, it's that Hollywood will continue to pump out the franchise blockbusters - and audiences will still hand over their cash to see them, no matter how below average or unoriginal they may be.

Cinematically, 2018 was a year that marked the final screen appearances for both Robert Redford (’The Old Man and the Gun’) and Daniel Day-Lewis (’Phantom Thread’), heralded Bradley Cooper’s impressive directorial debut (’A Star Is Born), served up an innovative high-tech thriller (’Searching’) and bestowed the most gob-smacking showdown involving MCU’s greatest heroes and villains (’Avengers: Infinity War’).

It was also a very good year for Netflix loyalists who saw the company release a succession of well received films including ’Annihilation,’ ‘Roma,’ and ‘The Ballad of Buster Scruggs.’

Despite Dirty Harry’s memorable comment that “opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one,” the films that have made this year’s ‘best list’ have been selected on the basis of the lasting impression they have left on this viewer after the lights have come up and the curtain’s been drawn.

So, what succeeded and what failed?

Ladies and gentlemen, may we please offer for your consideration…

50. THE OLD MAN AND THE GUN

49. INCREDIBLES 2

48. FILM STARS DON’T DIE IN LIVERPOOL

47. THE POST

46. CHAPPAQUIDDICK

45. RED SPARROW

44. GAME NIGHT

43. DEADPOOL 2

42. BOY ERASED

41. WIDOWS

40. STRONGER     

39. MOLLY’S GAME

38. FAHRENHEIT 11/9  

37. THE DARKEST HOUR

36. FIRST REFORMED

35. A STAR IS BORN

34. ISLE OF DOGS

33. BREATH

32. THE WIFE

31. READY PLAYER ONE

30. BLACK PANTHER

29. WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOUR

28. BRIGSBY BEAR

27. LADY BIRD

26. SICARIO: DAY OF THE SOLDADO

25. BEAUTIFUL BOY

24. PHANTOM THREAD

23. GHOST STORIES

22. FIRST MAN

21. TULLY

20. I, TONYA

19. SUSPIRIA

18. RBG 

17. THE FAVOURITE

16. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY 

15. MANDY

14. BRAWL IN CELL BLOCK 99 

13. SEARCHING 

12. A QUIET PLACE

11. BLACKKKLANSMAN

10. SWEET COUNTRY

The Australian ‘western’ is a genre all its own, and ‘Sweet Country’ was the finest example of its type. Both Warwick Thornton's direction and Dylan Rivers’ cinematography was outstanding, as were all of the lead acting performances. Shot in both Central and South Australia, ‘Sweet Country’ transcended the genre’s tropes to tell us a quintessentially Australian story, albeit a bloody, brutal and tragic one. 

9. VICE

As with his previous film ‘The Big Short,’ writer/director Adam McKay set aside the clean, colourful look of his comedies (’Anchorman,’ ‘Step Brothers’) in favour of a washed-out, edgy look, with the frequent use of hand-held cameras. The entire ensemble - including Steve Carell, Sam Rockwell and Amy Adams - were all impressive but it was Christian Bale’s skilful and highly effective portrayal of former VP Dick Cheney that deservedly received the kudos from critics everywhere. 

8. THE ENDLESS

Indie filmmakers Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead, wrote, directed and starred in this terrific slow burner about two brothers who decide to revisit their childhood UFO death cult for some closure. Initially, the film’s daunting atmosphere gave the impression that this horror/sci-fi would follow the usual story ‘beats’ that accompany the genre. But after some mind-bending twists, ‘The Endless’ soon switched from being about a crazed cult into something else!

7. SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE

It’s no secret that Sony’s last few attempts with the character of Spider-Man have been underwhelming to say the least. However, this rousingly entertaining superhero adventure was easily 2018′s most unexpected surprise. The film’s impressive animation was beautiful, fluid and unique, whilst the storyline was both compelling and genuinely funny. What can we say - we finally got the ‘Spider-Man’ movie everybody wanted. It’s OK Sony, we now forgive you for ‘The Emoji Movie.’

6. THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI

Sadly robbed of the Best Picture gong at last year’s Academy Awards, this third movie from award-winning playwright Martin McDonagh (‘In Bruges,’ ‘Seven Psychopaths’) was a dramedy that started with cleverness and wit before opening up into something truthfully human. McDonagh’s screenplay was so good that every single cast member, no matter how little their screen time, gave a great performance.

5. AMERICAN ANIMALS

In this true-crime movie, four bright and well-off college students in Kentucky plot to steal some rare books from their university's Special Collections Library in a misguided quest for personal glory. Written and directed by Bart Layton, ‘American Animals’ cleverly woven script was narrated by the heist's actual participants, bringing a fascinating layer to the proceedings as well as a connection between the characters and audience.

4. AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR

It may have been the most intense, complex and stirring MCU film yet, but it was as lean as epics get, with none of its nearly two-and-a-half-hour running time feeling wasted. While the many characters and intersecting plots may have confused casual viewers (it’s assumed audiences are now familiar with all that's come before), for fans, it was one mind-blowing moment after another.

3. MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - FALLOUT

Who would have thought that a 20+ year franchise would have been able to deliver one of the most exciting and visceral action films in recent memory? ‘Fallout’ saw the stepping up of both the action and the stakes, with the personal screws tightened on Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and the horrible consequences for failure. Love him or hate him, Cruise's performance was lean and focused, whilst Christopher MacQuarrie’s direction was effective and thrilling, always hitting every action beat - dead centre.

2. YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE

Director Lynne Ramsay’s bleak yet effective thriller about a broken and tormented ex-military vigilante (Joaquin Phoenix), who makes a living rescuing kidnapped girls and making the perpetrators violently pay with a hammer, was a dark and twisting journey into one man’s soul. Ramsay's filmmaking powers and script, combined with Phoenix's committed, unadorned performance and Johnny Greenwood's absolutely superb soundtrack, easily delivered one of this year’s most standout movies.

1. HEREDITARY

Although it polarised audiences everywhere, ‘Hereditary’ was a refreshing example of a studio (A24) subverting expectations and the perfect showcase of what horror is capable of when taken seriously.

Even as the film ventured into territory familiar to its genre, writer/director Ari Aster skillfully orchestrated the tension into something that felt like a nightmare straight from hell. What begins as a drama about a family tearing apart with grief, slowly descends into madness and the supernatural. 

Rather than rely on a ‘conveyor belt’ of jump scares strung together with a derivative story which exists purely as a vehicle to deliver those jump scares, ‘Hereditary’ put family drama at the forefront and milked every ounce of dread from the hideous realities of familial cohabitation for what they’re worth. 

Whilst the film’s cinematography, production design and score were all some of the best the horror genre has seen, it was the performances that finally sold ‘Hereditary,’ notably Toni Collette’s tormented turn as a manic mother who is mourning the loss of a parent. 

‘Hereditary’ didn’t just redefine horror - it successfully put its own wicked stamp on the tropes of the genre, and provided audiences everywhere with a truly unsettling experience.

Hail Paimon!

…AND NOW, THE WORST!

20. VENOM

19. THE MEG

18. MILE 22

17. WINCHESTER

16. LIFE OF THE PARTY

15. BLOCKERS

14. SKYSCRAPER

13. THE WEDDING GUEST

12. DEATH WISH

11. BOAR

10. THE NUN

Sadly, this fifth chapter in the ‘Conjuring’ universe was nowhere near as scary, inspired or coherent as its predecessors. The quick onslaught of jump scares, punctuated by sudden noises on the soundtrack, quickly dashed the hopes of viewers who saw the entire exercise as a colossal waste of time (not to mention that the titular character was almost ‘missing’ in her own movie). 

9. THE PREDATOR

This was a prime example as to how you kill a franchise. ‘The Predator’ was so bad, it made both ‘AVP’ movies look like modern day masterpieces. Whilst the acting and storyline were awful, the film suffered from plot holes, the lack of any kind of script, the constant desperate dramatic music featured relentlessly throughout and the forced jokes. Why director Shane Black thought injecting a comedy script into this franchise was a good idea is anyone's guess. 

8. THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS

Brian Henson, son of the legendary Jim Henson and the director of ‘The Muppet Christmas Carol’ and ‘Muppet Treasure Island,’ somehow thought this juvenile attempt at humour was a good idea. Instead, it did the most offensive thing that a comedy could ever do - it failed to make you laugh. 

7. THE SPY WHO DUMPED ME

This forgettable and redundant comedy, from its tired title to its forced acting and humour, tried desperately to be everything at once and ended up being nothing at all. Given the talent involved, one would have expected some semblance of subtly and finesse to let these strong performers elevate the material as they've been known to in the past. However, when the material was as blunt as a sledgehammer, there wasn’t much anyone could have done. 

6. GRINGO

Despite its polished production values and stellar cast, ‘Gringo’ amounted to an absolute bust. Director Nash Egerton’s unsavoury and amoral comedy of errors qualified as something contrived, convoluted and ultimately incoherent. Crammed with a myriad of ‘madcap’ situations that weren’t even remotely funny or original, this crappy caper failed to keep up with its talented cast who struggled in their portrayal of such unpleasant stereotypes.

5. PACIFIC RIM: UPRISING

CGI vomit. 

4. THE 15:17 TO PARIS

Anybody desperately wanting to watch this train wreck should fast forward the first hour and six minutes. Clint Eastwood’s effort to pay tribute to the three brave men who foiled the 2015 Thalys train attack was a cinematic misfire of epic proportions. The bold step of having the real-life heroes play themselves was a bad call (awkward delivery, mumbled lines), whilst the film also had an underlying Christian/pro-gun/pro-military vibe about it.  

3. ROBIN HOOD

From the over-the-top bow and arrow fights to the bizarre mix of costumes, ‘Robin Hood’ was comparable to Guy Ritchie’s disastrous reimagining of ‘King Arthur,’ only worse. Far worse. This umpteenth version of the legendary heroic outlaw was severely lacking in the entertainment and thrills department, and continued the Hollywood tradition of blockbuster remakes absolutely falling on their arses.

2. ACTION POINT

The ‘Jackass’ films were great, but this dismal wannabe ‘Caddyshack’ or ‘Porky’s’ left audiences longing for the relative artistry and sophistication of the crazy lads’ glory days. ‘Action Point’ was a predictable, exceptionally cheap and humourless affair, a watershed moment in terms of anyone ever bank rolling a feature film for these guys again. RIP gentlemen, it was a fun ride.

1. HOLMES AND WATSON

It’s all elementary as to which film was by far the very worst of 2018.

Everything about ‘Holmes and Watson’ was lazy, incompetent and decidedly unfunny. This shockingly misguided assault of repetitive bad slapstick and terrible writing squandered the remarkable talents of John C. Reilly, Rebecca Hall, Steve Coogan, Kelly Macdonald, Ralph Fiennes and Hugh Lawrie, and saw Will Ferrell give what was easily the worst performance of his entire career.

This was no ‘Step Brothers’ - this was pure, unadulterated garbage. 

[brianjaeger]

2017 Academy Award Best Picture Nominees Guide For Those Who Haven’t Actually Watched Them

America has been riding high on a rainbow made of happiness so far in 2017 and what better way to continue this year of indisputable joy than with the 89th airing of Hollywood’s 3-4 hour humble brag, selfie, circle jerk performed while millions watch on and express sincere emotional feelings and judgments about the character of human beings they have never actually met or interacted with, but oftentimes know more about than members of their immediate family, that’s right..THE OSCARS!

This year, the members of an industry that just one year ago did not let any men or women of color in, will compete to see who can give the most daring and passionate speech against a President who wants all men or women of color out. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a treat that comes but once a year!

But I haven’t had time to see all of the Best Picture nominees yet, Brian! You might be yelling in a panic. Me neither! With real life playing out on a daily basis with more plot twists, intrigue and drama than Streep’s entire film catalog, who has the time to actually go see these films.

I’ve got you covered. I went ahead and didn’t watch any of the films for you HOWEVER I’m here to give you a summary of what I THINK that they MIGHT be about based on the titles of the movies and their posters, as well as some pointers on things to slide into conversation at your Oscar parties so that fellow guests will look at you the same way that Goldie Hawn looks at a vodka on the pills.

Away we go!

La La Land

Ryan Gosling falls for a Raggedy Ann doll who’s in desperate need of a sandwich - but there’s a problem, he stutters. He’d la la like to tell Raggedy Ann that he la la loves her but he’s scared she’ll la la laugh at him. So he decides to try his la la luck by communicating through a different la la language - song and dance. John Legend shows up for a bit, says, “Hey, I acted!” then leaves, and at the end Raggedy Ann actually listens to Gosling “sing” so decides to la la leave him for the drummer from The Wonders. 

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Damien Chazelle actually intended Whiplash to be a feel good musical too, but J.K. Simmons REALLY hated that boy.

Ryan Gosling trained rigorously with a renowned dance instructor for La La Land, and for his vocal coach he turned a blender on at the lowest speed.

Alright, before this party starts - if anyone says “La La Land is going to win because Hollywood loves movies about itself,” your unoriginal ass will be immediately asked to leave the party and we will all hit you with our shoes on your way out.

Arrival

A giant who lives in the sky loses a contact, which hurtles to earth causing everyone (including Amy Adams and Hawkeye) to absolutely lose their shit. President Trump immediately signs an executive order to get these goddamn illegal aliens out of our country. He then orders the building of a wall in the sky to keep any more from coming in and holds a press conference to confirm that Prime Minister Borgulon Phaltrop of Virgon 12 in the Qualmagon galaxy will 100% pay for that sky wall on the border of America and infinite space. Everyone shrugs and says, “Yeah, this seems about right.” 

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

They originally planned to call this movie Peaceful Departure, but didn’t want to give away the ending.

At the end, you find out that it’s just Amy Adam’s father...who is also Jody Foster’s father. They’re sisters.

In the climactic scene when the door to the spaceship finally opens and a purple animated alien voiced by Jim Parsons hops out and stumbles then laughs, “I thought the TRIP was over!” an entire movie theater committed suicide. 

Lion

Dev Patel is the voice of a lionfish who just lost his son Noil and now he’s off on an adventure as big as the ocean itself where the only thing he cares about is...finding Noil.    

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

A lion’s roar can be heard from as far as 5 miles away.

A lion’s heels don’t touch the ground when it walks.

Oh, Lion? No, I don’t know shit about it. But those are some sweet fucking facts about lions, right?

Hell or High Water

Well them Duke boys really are in a pickle this time! In this gritty and oftentimes haunting movie based on the classic TV show The Dukes of Hazzard, we find Bo and Luke on the run after the gruesome butchering of Boss Hogg with a stone mason’s hammer in a scene that lasts an uncomfortable 17 minutes that includes a bizarrely jarring amount of full frontal male nudity. Well ain’t that a hog’s hide of a tough hand them boys been dealt!

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

This movie has already taken home “Best Picture” at the Dustys.

In post production, they had to use CGI to make Chris Pine look LESS handsome because when looking upon his face audiences thought they were actually in Heaven...or High Water.

Hmmm. After careful consideration. I think I’ll have the high water.

Hidden Figures

It’s the 60′s and these three out of this world NASA secretaries aren’t wearing tight enough dresses to show of those vivacious curves. These dames have hidden figures! Time to get those scientists warm for your forms, gals. Be a little bit more sexy. We’re talking about your jobs here.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

John Glenn? Yup. Was actually an African American female. Maybe you shouldn’t be so narrow-minded.

NASA celebrated the success of this film by letting other companies come in and blast rockets off on its launch pad - like the cuckold space agency that it now is.

OH! “Figures” is a double entendre that nods to their role in solving mathematical equations as well as their hidden role as important members of NASA’s early success because they were black women! I get it. That’s WAY better than “Hey! Dipshits! Black Women Played A Pivotal Role in America Being Awesome At Space!”

Moonlight

In this next chapter in the Field of Dreams franchise, we learn more about  Archibald "Moonlight" Graham, the baseball player turned doctor turned dead guy turned plucky hitchhiking ghost kid turned ghost Burt Lancaster turned vanishing cornfield ghost Burt Lancaster.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

President Donald Trump spent the entirety of the movie screaming at the screen and asking it to set up a meeting for him with the Congressional Black Caucus.

Well, you guys do know that the only reason that Moonlight...(look around and gauge facial expressions)...hey, what IS Nicole Kidman wearing?! I mean, (nervous giggle) come on...

Hey guys, look! (Lower pants to reveal bare naked ass while standing next to a lamp.) Moon, light! (Immediately be asked to leave party.)

Hacksaw Ridge

This film from the director who brought you Braveheart and The Passion of the Christ is about a warrior who refuses to use a gun, instead he uses a...2X4! Hoooo-oooooh! USA! USA! USA! Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his debut in a film from the actor who starred in Lethal Weapon and What Women Want as a soldier who will save dozens of lives through courage under fire. Duggan slobbers through the role in a movie from definitely not the guy recorded spewing racist, sexist, anti-Semitic remarks. Oh. No. That wasn’t another Trump joke, I was making a Mel Gibson joke. But potato, potato I guess.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

He was able to rescue 75 soldiers but he just couldn’t save Uncle Ben.

I’m not sure if you know this, but Hacksaw Ruffles have Hacksaw Ridges.

The real Desmond Doss was...you guessed it...an African American woman.

Manchester by the Sea

In this movie about a sad guy with a Boston accent, Casey Affleck gives a performance that climbs into your bed and absolutely refuses to leave.  

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

If you think he’s good, you should see Matt Damon’s brother, Casey. Casey Damon.

An argument between supporters of Manchester United and Manchester City over which of the clubs this movie was referring to resulted in the death of hundreds.

Phonetically, the name of this movie could also be what some guy named Chester’s friend tells him to do on Wheel of Fortune while obviously not understanding that you only have to purchase vowels.

Fences

After the backlash from the exclusion of African Americans from the 2016 Oscar nominations, Denzel Washington and Viola Davis gently rock in rocking chairs while chuckling to themselves for an hour and 49 minutes checking their smart phones periodically to see if they’ve gotten their nomination yet. 

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Denzel actually directed this movie too. He just kept saying, “Keep rocking. It’ll come.”

If you look close, you’ll notice a blooper when one of the fences is actually a railing.

Well, you guys do know that the only reason that Fences...(look around and gauge facial expressions)...hey, what IS Michelle Williams wearing?! I mean, (nervous giggle) come on...