#infpparis

[vanderstein]

@vanderstein_mansion

[vanderstein]

My INFP  take on an ENFJ question  below ;  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How can I enforce a personal boundary without upsetting an INFP? I want to say "That you keep your word is important to me. But I understand that sometimes things will come up. If you continue to go against your word I'm outta here." But that seems aggressive? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Infp here first psychology rule i know ... and lesson i learn... is you can't force another human being to behave a certain way..i mean you can. theorically ..but they will either act out of fear which in my opinion is never good ...or will say what you want to ear just to not rise up to the occasion ...later on. I ve lived this stiuation..(was the infp) ...and wish almost everyday ..that i could turn back time and really understand that ENFJ ( didn't know any mbti stuff at that time) ..do not play with the "doing what you say you were going to do and do it in time please "...and yes us INFP don't like ultimatums ..no one does..the thing is not really about being mean by setting your boundaries..it's totally ok to do so ..we (INFP) actually love to know what is expected from us..and it's very gentle to give a second chance to implement things that i do not naturally do...in my case ...i didn't do what i was she asked of me and that i agreed to do..because the boundaries was crossed multiple times during a long time without having the reaction she was upset about it..so i unconsciously was not taking that person seriously..and secondly despite any mbti thing..i wasn't committed ..but she stayed around me on her own free will and i also took that gesture for granted..i guess i'm part of the people who need to be put against the wall even worst fall of the cliff to get it..i now pay a lot of attention to others and i 'm so scared loosing any other relationship like the one i had with this ENFJ ( which i have a great bond with still but apart no..cause she married now..so we don't speak cause family are sacred to us) that i now am very considerate of others and do what i was going to do for someone ..and even just being more in tune with other people feelings ..and respect them by giving back and keep my promises ... basically just being less individualist..i laugh sometimes cause it's funny that this kind of make me a bit ENFJ like ..which is normal when you know that we have our 8 function the in the same order..but just oriented differently..hope it helps you

klaws vanderstein _ aka away off life