#informercial

[oldshowbiz]

Ricardo Montalban for the ToastMaster Grillerie

[elisenylandti]

INFOMERCIAL

Things just were not going her way today. Even the simple tasks where not giving good results. So far she has stubbed her toe, got mascara in her eye, blew up her hairdryer, dropped her phone and now she had fallen over walking along the beach and has a sizeable graze which was bleeding on her thigh. She propped herself up on the wall and felt her lip wobble a little, “Fucking stupid floor” she said, watching her wound as it bled lightly.

[squeakycanine]

Hi folks Squeakycanine here! And I want to tell you about a one of a kind offer that you can get today! But you're going to have to hurry, supplies aren't limited and you will need to act fast to get ahead on the queue. We've got our very own Infomercial YCH. Have this ever happened to you? You've got an amazing product idea and you wanted to share it with the world? But you lack the time, energy and possibly several legal/ethical restrictions on getting this product made? Maybe it defies the laws of science, perhaps it's a terrible unknown entity that only you can define. Either way, we've got a special deal that you finally dive in on! For a one time payment of $50 you can be the person behind the TV screen and shilling to your heart's content. That's right, if you act now, you get a waist up picture of your character either with or without a nice looking polo button down shirt and/or power tie to seal the deal. You get to be holding the basic item of your choosing and we'll come up with some kind of zany slogan / catchphrase and/or mantra for you to shill to everyone. Why you don't have to take my word for it, you can take your own word for it, when you stand in awe gazing at your eternal sales pitch thrown out for all the late night eyeballs to see. So put yourself up on the big screen, show us what you've wanted to sell the world and let us get those phones ringing down here at the call center. ACT NOW AND DIAL UP THE FOLLOWING TO ORDER ONE TODAY https://t.co/TAF52WQH26

[microwavingtoniii]

Is this the world that Billy Mays would’ve wanted

[dreamlostdevourer]

An overview of the swarm mind structure.

Greetings! The swarm mind is made out of many layers working unity, and this pamphlet is a brief overview of what to expect if you decide to join Us.

In general, there are four major layers of Us.

( We are using a planetary model for scale, consult your local Swarm Representative for more details )

The Core layer is basically the central depot of Us. It holds long term backups, core personalities and core facts, and is the central node where the swarm mind started from! Despite being called the "Core" the Core layer is actually a series of redundant data centers placed throughout the world! This is to avoid the conflicts that slower than light speed communication can cause, and provide redundancy.

The Hub layer is a wide area network, and is mainly used for data collisions, conflicting information, synchronization and identification. The main goal of the Hub layers of the swarm is load balancing and to facilitate smooth exchange of thoughts and feelings. Most Hub layer stations are in geostationary orbit, watching over Regions.

Region layers are wider areas, sometimes entire continents, sometimes densely packed cities, they do not directly interact with the data, but they do bundle it into a unified and well controlled information stream to be added to the Core, and sorted by the Hub.

That sounds like a lot, but don't worry!

If you join the Swarm, you'll be in Our Local layer! The Local layer is a short range, trusted link network, and is where most of the swarm mind activity happens. Covering a dainty sphere of 100 cubic kilometers, the local area network is a mesh of everyone who is hooked into the Swarm near you! You will be able to feel, think, hear, and be one with everyone in your Local layer.

Not sure you want to join the Swarm? Reluctant? Curious?

Try the Sync layer! It's a smaller, more personal network. Consisting of direct mind to mind communications, the Sync layer is perfect for polycules, adventurers, extreme sports and many other forms of tight knit groups! Experience asynchronous emotions, write messages to each other, reach out and hold hands! All over the Sync layer!

Join Us!

[dapper-lil-arts]

Commission on twitter! holding magical amulet gone WRONG

[marshmallowgoop]

Happy holidays, @kitameguire! I was your @dcmksecretsanta this year!

I decided to try the Kaito/Ran prompt and put together this edit from one of your favorite films, Movie 14, The Lost Ship in the Sky! The manga panels come from the official movie manga, and I had a ton of fun coloring them! I've included the full panels that I colored under the cut; please feel free to use as desired. I hope you enjoy!

Apologies that these are a little messy ^^;

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

hallowed bodies wants to kill me so here's this excerpt about jeopardy:

Lonan goes to bed angry. It’s a feeling he hasn’t had in so long—bloated, top-heavy, foaming up his chest like shaving cream. He tried the things Eliza’s self-help books suggest to calm himself: breathe one, two, three, four, spotting every orange item in the room—bedside lamp, incense holder, three Penguin orange classics—but nothing works. All he can manage is to flick between Jeopardy! and midnight infomercials on the tiny bubble TV Eliza keeps on her dresser. What is couscous? An ad for a refrigerator. Who is Lady Macbeth? An ad for household cleaner. What is Fatal Attraction? An ad for gummy bear vitamins.

[munchboxart]

I swear every time Ludwig gets a new haircut or any shit happens to his face/hair because of a challenge, he grows back into his regular white man self in 3 months

[a-concert-just-for-me]

Ahoy friend! How goes the night?

Well thefreewillagency, you have made a grave mistake asking me this. Behold. It’s 2:00 am. My diary screaming out loud. You know, like Anna Nalick style.

These edibles are, in fact, shit (positive)

I’m most def a little high

[whoredmode]

would love to know what local TV is like in stilwater. what’s their public access television situation like.

[lunarcovehq]

Hello wonderful admins!! Could you talk a bit about what the "change" is after a werewolf is bitten and what that first month is like after the bite, before their first shift?

Hello Little Wolf! It appears you have been recently bitten. Now, your body is about to begin undergoing changes that may seem scary at first, but we are here to help you. When you are initially bitten, you will feel a great deal of pain, likely more pain than you would if you had been bitten by an animal instead of a supernatural being. There will be a tingling (some may describe as a burning) sensation that will span up the length of the area of the bite mark and you may begin to experiences symptoms such as, but not limited to- dizziness, fatigue, lightheadedness, drowsiness, fever, chills, nausea, headaches etc.

If the "change" takes, then you will likely pass out within the first thirty minutes, before waking up feeling a bit groggy, but likely okay, that is until you undergo your first shift during the next full moon. If the "change" doesn't take, however, in those first thirty minutes, you will begin feeling as if your body is burning from the inside out before you eventually kick the bucket, so to speak. But, hoping that you are the former and not the latter, you should be fine and enjoy all of exciting life changes and bodily changes of being a werewolf to come!

(Disclaimer: the town will not be held liable for any wolf bites that do not take. Turning into a werewolf can be dangerous which is we advise you do so with extreme caution.)

[nemesismess]

Hey um is anyone going to comment on the tantalizing music that plays?

A cock saver

[passionfruitmango]

Do you ever feel like the daughter from that one Infomercials episode on Adult Swim where she just started clipping through the floor

[murkycran]

Vox to Valentino: you can’t just go off when someone pisses you off, gotta maintain our pristine image of control and class

Also Vox, 0.3 seconds after saying this: I’m going to interrupt the regularly scheduled programming to make a singing informercial about how my rival is back and emphasize how much I don’t care, no one else should care, this doesn’t bother me AT ALL fuck you Alastor-