#infinite bombs is fun

[toastombee]

just got two quality 4 items on the same floor what the fuck

[nayziiz]

Pillowtalk | OP81

Pairing: Oscar Piastri x reader

Warnings: some smut, fluff

Author's note: Short and sweet for Osc. Been getting a ton of CS55 requests, so expect some of that coming soon.

Masterlist

Oscar groaned as the recycled air whooshed through the MTC simulator room. Another sunset he wouldn't see thanks to another gruelling preparation session.  Sure, F1 was all about pushing boundaries and whatnot, but right now, pushing the snooze button on his internal alarm clock sounded infinitely more appealing.  He glanced at the blinking steering wheel in front of him, a million buttons mocking him. 

"Essential," his brain chanted sarcastically.  Yeah, essential torture.  At least the stale protein bar he choked down earlier wouldn't fight back when he pretended it was a juicy steak. 

The prospect of her back in their apartment, her absence, a constant ache in his chest, made the cramped simulator room feel even smaller.  He knew she'd be prepping her "welcome home" ritual by now.  First, it would be the low lights, the ones that mimicked a real sunset. Then, the soft jazz that always seemed to melt the tension out of his shoulders, a stark contrast to the incessant hum of the simulator.  Next came her magic touch.  Oscar could practically feel her fingertips already, working their way across his scalp, a symphony of relaxation that could turn his frown upside down faster than any race car in the world.

He pictured her fingers moving down his back, her gentle pressure a welcome contrast to the stiff chair he'd been glued to for the past eight hours. Oscar knew the routine well enough by now. Her efforts were like a well-worn path leading him to sleep, each step a familiar comfort. But Oscar had one quirk in this carefully constructed relaxation ritual: his chattiness. The more exhausted he was, the more his voice box seemed to loosen, overflowing with nonsensical observations and half-baked conspiracies.

Sometimes, she found it endearing. She would play along, asking leading questions, feigning interest in his theories.  Other nights, his ramblings stretched on like an endless loop.  She would listen patiently for a while, her eyelids growing heavy with the drone of his voice.  But inevitably, fatigue would claim her, and she would drift off, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips, only to be woken up later by a trailing sentence or a nonsensical question that hung in the stale air.  Oscar, blissfully unaware, would keep talking, his voice a lullaby of exhaustion until it finally sputtered out, surrendering to the weight of his eyelids.  The silence that followed was a welcome sound, a sign that the bedroom was finally bathed in the quiet hum of sleep.

Other nights, she was too tired to entertain his delirium. He blinked at her, a goofy grin spreading across his face. 

“You know,” he started, his voice thick with sleep, “I was in jail once. It wasn't very fun, let me tell you.”

He hiccuped, a sound suspiciously close to a giggle. Struggling to keep her own eyes open, she jolted awake at his statement.

“Jail? Oscar, what are you talking about?” she retorted.

They had been together since high school, partners in crime when it came to studying. Jail? The closest he ever came to incarceration was detention for accidentally setting off a stink bomb in their high school’s chemistry lab.

“Monopoly,” he mumbled, the word slurring slightly. “Went to jail for, like, three turns. Worst experience ever.”

He punctuated his declaration with a dramatic sigh, then rolled over, burrowing deeper into the  bedsheets with the air of someone who had just solved a major existential crisis. She couldn't help but snort with laughter.  This was classic Oscar behaviour. 

“Honey, if you don't quiet down and get some sleep, you might end up in an early grave, not jail,” she teased, rolling her eyes playfully.

She reached out and gently swatted at his shoulder, the familiar warmth of him a comforting presence.  Oscar's pout, even obscured by sleep, was enough to disarm her.

“You’re so mean,” he mumbled, the accusation laced with a sleep-induced vulnerability.

“Look, it's three in the morning. You haven't slept a wink, and you have practice later this morning.  Think you can handle G-Force with no sleep?” She countered, her voice softened.  She knew the pout was a facade, a sign he was close to drifting off.

“Call it the 24 hours of Montreal,” he teased and nuzzled his face into her neck.

“Call it your last conscious moments before I suffocate you with a pillow,” she retorted, her fingers tracing circles absently on his arm.  She could feel the rise and fall of his chest with each breath, a slow, steady rhythm that was lulling her back to sleep.

“I'm in love with a bully, what has become of this world?” he sighed hopelessly, his breath hitting her neck at the right angle to make her skin tingle.

“Might need to call your Mom and tell her I'm in love with a criminal who went to Monopoly jail, bet she'd be impressed I've lasted this long with you,” she continued to tease him.

“If you continue to be mean to me, I will have to-” he began, but she interrupted him.

“What, Osc, what are you going to do?” she teased, knowing exactly what he intended.

A beat of playful silence stretched between them, thick with unspoken desire.  Then, before she could even form another witty retort, Oscar was a blur of movement.  With a whoop that startled her awake, he was on top of her, his laughter echoing in the room.  His hands, surprisingly nimble for a man who had spent the last eight hours glued to a chair, sought out her ticklish spots with an almost professional ease.  

Caught off guard, she erupted into helpless giggles that filled the room.  She squirmed and swatted at him weakly, more laughter than resistance escaping her lips.  Oscar, emboldened by her reaction, rained kisses down her neck, each one sending shivers down her spine.  Playfulness soon gave way to something more heated.  The laughter died down, replaced by a low moan that escaped her lips as Oscar's kisses migrated south, his touch turning from playful to urgent.

Their make-out session was a slow burn, fueled by exhaustion and a deep longing for each other. Each kiss was a whispered promise, a way of erasing the miles that separated them from a normal life at times. Hands explored, clothes became an impediment, and soon they were tangled together, in a universe of their own making.

The act itself was a whirlwind.  Oscar, fueled by a potent mix of sleep deprivation and pent-up desire, moved with a raw intensity that left her breathless.  He poured every ounce of remaining energy into it, their bodies moving in a perfect rhythm, a silent conversation spoken only in touches and moans.  

Afterwards, as quickly as it had begun, it was over.  Oscar collapsed beside her, a contented sigh escaping his lips.  He fumbled for a cloth, wiping away the afterglow on her skin with a tenderness that belied his previous intensity.  Flushed and breathless, she leaned into his touch, a wave of post-coital bliss washing over her.  

Within minutes, the steady rhythm of his breathing filled the air.  Exhaustion, finally winning the battle, claimed him.  He was out cold, a peaceful smile playing on his lips.  She watched him for a moment, the moonlight casting an ethereal glow on his face.  Oscar, with his sleep talk and his goofy Monopoly anecdotes, was her home, her safe harbour in the unpredictable world they found themselves in.  She snuggled closer to him, the gentle hum of the city in the distance a lullaby lulling them both into a shared sleep.

[villain-enthusiast]

heyy i don’t have something specific in mind but can you please right something about a morally grey villain and a civilian. make it romantic and flirty and stuffff

Civilian was going to die.

The explosion from the bomb had obliterated half the bank within fractions of a second. The blast was far enough from their office that they weren't directly affected, but evacuating the actively crumbling building could easily kill them.

Rubble rained down as they desperately ran down the dusty hallway to the stairwell. Why did they have to be three stories up? Would they even get all the way down before the place collapsed?

Boom!

Civilian barely had time to react before they were thrown off their feet from the force of the blast that had detonated from the room beside them. Their back smacked into the opposite wall, pain and shock rippling through them as they hit the ground, rendering them helpless.

They couldn't move. This was it. They were going to—

"Oh, sweetheart."

Civilian jerked their head up to see someone standing over them, not a single speck of dust visible on their impeccable black clothes. Not the uniform of a co-worker or a rescue team member, Civilian realized with dismay.

The person crouched down in front of them, head tilted. "I could've sworn I got everyone out in time. I guess you're just a little elusive, huh?" They smirked and ruffled Civilian's hair, wildly playful considering the life-or-death situation they were in right now.

Wait.

The realization struck them like a brick to the head. “You set the bomb off,” they wheezed. “You’re Villain.”

Villain gave them a mock salute. “Nice to meet you too."

The floor wobbled dangerously and Civilian squeaked in fear, trying and failing to prop themselves up. "Please...please don't kill me," they blurted.

"Wow, who do you think I am?" Villain placed a hand on their chest in mock disbelief. "Eh, besides, you're too cute to murder. Or leave for dead,” Villain added as the building groaned, swaying on its foundations.

Civilian flushed, not sure if they should be flattered or absolutely terrified that their whole fucking workplace was about to collapse and that this bastard was trying to flirt with them—

Villain scooped Civilian up without warning, hoisting them into a bridal carry. They yelped in surprise as a block of cement crashed down onto the exact spot where they were laying just seconds ago.

“See?” Villain grinned at Civilian, bearing in close. “Too cute to leave behind.” Their face was near enough for Civilian’s eyes to flick down to their lips. Their grin widened in acknowledgment.

Villain turned abruptly and ran down the hallway towards the stairs, throwing the door open. Three flights down stared back, seeming infinitely long, too long.

But Villain was still smiling like they were gonna make it out of the bank on time. They looked down at Civilian, who had unconsciously fisted their hands into the lapels of Villain’s jacket.

“Yeah, just like that,” Villain said, winking at Civilian.

Civilian blinked, their mind flailing for footing. Just like what—

“Hold tight!” Villain whooped, and instead of booking it down the steps, they jumped onto the railing and slid down, handless.

Holy fucking shit. Civilian squeezed their eyes shut and held on so tight onto Villain’s jacket, stomach lurching. If the bombs didn’t take them out, then this would definitely—

They felt the Villain jump onto solid ground before they could even finish their thought. Oh.

“Aren’t you a scaredy-cat,” Villain teased, that shit-eating, infuriatingly charming grin back on their face. “Ever been on a roller coaster before?”

“No, I’ve never had fun in my life before, actually,” Civilian snapped back sarcastically.

“Hm,” Villain made their way out of the stairwell, casually walking towards the entrance as if the bank wasn’t crumbling around them. “Well, they’ve been saying amusement park dates are all the rage. Maybe this is my sign to take you out.”

Civilian fumbled for a response. Why was this criminal so good at rendering them speechless?

“You’re not saying no…” Villain murmured, exiting the building seconds before it promptly collapsed, throwing onlookers into chaos and allowing them to blend in with the crowd. The timing was almost comedic.

They slipped into an empty alley, Civilian still in their arms.

“I’m not putting you down until you say yes,” Villain urged, eyes glinting with playful mischief.

Civilian, despite themselves, rolled their eyes. “Aren’t you supposed to be a bad guy? What happened to ‘Now I take you back to my spooky dark lair and lock you up and torture you until Hero comes and I fight them to the death’?”

Villain smiled, but it was warmer, more genuine this time. “I guess I prefer it when people look at my lips and clearly want to kiss me instead of looking at me like I’m a monster.”

Civilian paused, dissecting the layers of that statement before—damn them—glancing again at Villain’s perfectly kissable mouth.

Villain ran their tongue over their bottom lip, clearly toying with Civilian, but fuck, it was working.

It was the nearing wail of police sirens that shook them out of their trance. They groaned, stupefied at how they almost fell for the person who just blew up their workplace. “Please put me down.”

“And here I thought I almost had you.” Villain sighed and set Civilian down on the ground. “Unfortunately, the authorities tend to annoy me a bit, so this is where I take my leave. It was nice meeting you, sweetheart.” They bowed to Civilian and began to make their way down the alleyway.

Fuck, the way the nickname made Civilian’s stomach flutter. Fuck fuck fuck— “Disneyland, this Friday, 10 AM,” they blurted.

Villain stopped in their tracks, and although they didn’t turn around. Civilian could feel that stupid little smirk on their face.

“See you then.” Then they disappeared around the corner.

As it turns out, roller coasters really weren’t so bad when you have someone doing it with you.

[luffyrose]

We're back with another dc x dp, coming to you this time on my phone while hang in off the back of my couch. Is blood rushing to my head? Yes.

Either way, I had a random thought about how personally as a child, I was a little monkey, like if my parents had actually had the thought to put me in gymnastics I would probably be a menace to society. And so my thought was, what if Danny was like that too?

Danny had always been very hyper, like, bounce of the walls, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE FRIDGE-" kind of hyper. When he started to climb, hang, flip, and just about break something just to have some fun, Jazz finally tried to get their parents to sign him up for gymnastics.

They didn't.

Both had been very happy at the idea, but when it came down to it, they just forgot. And one time without actually paying attention to the two, said gymnastics was for girls, ultimately shattering Danny's budding hobby. Jazz of course didn't just let that dream go, instead finding anything she could to let him learn on his own, at the very least, she made sure he was capable enough to pick it up in his teenage years should he finally get a chance to take classes.

That didn't end up happened either.

He'd died, become Phantom, accidentally become Crown Prince of the Infinite realms, and now had to deal with superheroes realizing that something was up in Amity. More specifically, a credible news reporter finally came to the town and settled the real or not debate in one swift "WTF IS THAT-" upon seeing a giant robot hunter thing(it was Skulker).

Along with all that, his parents, or more specifically his mother, was finally noticing something was wrong. Almost two years after he died, she finally took a second to look at him, and was disturbed. So Danny, being optimistic as he can be, tries to tell them, which goes horribly wrong and ends in a lab explosion and Danny 'stuck' in the Ghost Zone. Really Jazz blew the portal up after reaching her own breaking point and immediately called CPS on her parents since Danny was never gonna come back to them.

Danny all ouchy, there goes my parents because the two destroyed their blood bond by intentionally aiming to harm him instead of the weird loophole they'd been in before. Clockwork being Clockwork yeets him over to Gotham, giving Jazz a note about it.

Over in Gotham, he's actually thrown right from a portal in the aky hurdling down toward one of the city's rogues. Whoever it is, the Batfam are like "wtf-" at the clearly confused child that suspiciously looks like they're one of the Waynes, and so they just take him back. Doesn't help that they're worried since he just got thrown from who knows where and definitely did not take that fall well- also doesn't help that he's clearly bleeding and severely injured.

Danny, after Alfred forces him to rest from injuries, is so hyper. His hyperness had gone into his vigilantism, so now with nothing to deter it, he was going crazy and he felt so stiff.

Cue one of the sibkings walking in to find the kid hanging dangerously off something and just going "hi". Dick has a new favorite(not really he still loves all his siblings the same...maybe Damian and new kid are a smidge higher, but they're younger so it doesn't count).

When he takes the kid to the gym in their house, he is literally running around and getting onto everything. Now Dick has accidentally acquired little acrobatic brother that he's determined to help out with getting better.

Best part, Danny doesn't even realize the others are like "welp he's family now" and is just thinking they're very nice for being rich. He doesn't trust Bruce too much though, sure rich people's mids could be chill(take Sam for example) but parents themselves were iffy.

No one knows how to react to the truth bombs he randomly drops without even realizing it either.

Dick, watching Danny haning upside down from a bar for the last like 10 minutes: whatcha doin buddy?

Danny: thinking about my parents.

Damian, who's also been watching the whole tome but would never admit it: Your parents?

Danny, yeeting himself off the bar with no sense of self preservation: yeah, they told me they'd sign me up for gymnastics. Never did. Claimed it was only for girls. Although I think that was the same day our oven came alive on accident and almost set me on fire so...they were pretty distracted.

Dick, staring in actual horror for many reasons: What?!

Damian, also horrified but not showing it as much: Your oven came alive...?

Danny, who still isn't paying attention and already having forgotten what he said: how do you do that thing you showed me earlier?

[corpsebasil]

Triple Threat 💣⚔️🔫

Your brothers and you are Stu’s children and, when you run into Ethan’s Ghostface, you consider teaming up.

Your brothers were acting unhinged.

You felt embarrassed, watching as Ethan examined your shared apartment, staring around at things that had belonged to your father. Stu had been his favorite Ghostface and, when you’d shoved a knife against his throat in the alleyway, demanding why he was parading around in your dad’s memorabilia, he’d confessed that Richie was his brother.

The three of you had done your research on the Woodsboro murders. You had no intention of killing Sam—no, that wouldn’t be what your dad would’ve wanted. He would’ve wanted you to manipulate her into joining the three of you, but what does one more Ghostface hurt?

“And then,” Ansel was saying, waving his shotgun around like a maniac. “we blew that bitch’s head off.” He laughed and you cringed, crossing your legs on the couch. Ansel was the eldest of you and the most like your dad; he was sadistic, uncaring, and enjoyed killing simply for the sake of it. “What about you, kid? Ever blown someone up?”

“You didn’t blow them up.” Matteo argued, sliding a wet stone against the long blade in his hand. Twin swords were his preferred weapons, thin and lethal, that he wielded with expert skill. “The only person here with explosives is Y/N.”

Ethan eyed you warily.

You noticed the boy constantly looking over at you; you’d disarmed him easily in the alley, pulling him into your complex, and he seemed incredibly out of his depth around the three of you. Nepo babies, he’d teased, which Ansel had found infinitely amusing. Matteo only shrugged, bored, and began sharpening his blades.

“Explosives?” Ethan asked, moving closer to you. You nodded and patted the couch beside you, allowing him to sit. He seemed jumpy, like he was worried the three of you were going to kill him after all. Richie or not. “What kind of—”

“Grenades, car bombs—oh, remember that canister thing you did? Under the house?” Ansel said, setting his shotgun down and opening up the large safe against the living-room wall.

“Whole building gone.” You mimed an explosive with your hands, raising an eyebrow at the boy beside you’s startled look. “Boom.”

“She makes them herself.” Ansel grinned, looking like the Cheshire Cat, and threw something at Ethan.

The boy let out a yelp of surprise and you lunged over his lap to catch it, glaring at your eldest brother. Even Matteo was mumbling curses, glaring as your sibling stuck his tongue out on a laugh.

“These are expensive.” You snapped, placing the grenade beside you. Ethan was shaking, pressed fully against the back of the couch, his eyes wide. “Don’t fuck with my bombs. I don’t touch your guns, you don’t touch mine—”

“You’re no fun, Y/N.” Ansel rolled his eyes, practically skipping over to the couch. He reached over to pinch Ethan’s cheek, enjoying the cringe that crossed the younger boy’s face. “Aw, he looks fresh out of high-school. How old are you sweetheart? Sixteen?”

“Twenty.” Ethan scoffed, eyebrows furrowed as Ansel gripped his chin and turned his face back and forth to examine it. “What are you—”

“Definitely one of those remake losers.” Ansel sighed, patting Ethan’s cheek hard enough to sting. “Dad would be so proud.”

“Leave the kid alone.” You groaned, pushing your brother off him before you reached out to snatch Ansel’s phone from his pocket.

“Hey, that’s mine—”

“I’m ordering pizza, you dick.” You told him, glaring as he moved away, muttering ‘okay mom’ under his breath. “Want anything in particular?” You asked Ethan, turning your head, and realized you were still practically in his lap. You didn’t move though, not when you felt his hand hesitantly, almost as if he wasn’t sure he was doing it, touch your lower back.

“Whatever you want’s fine.” He said, expression still wary. Then he flushed when you leaned in, brushing away an imaginary eyelash from his cheek.

“You’ve got eyes like Bambi, you know that?” The smile that crossed your mouth was feline when he blushed, looking away, then back. “Matteo. Call my supplier. We should get this kid geared up.”

“Sam—” Matteo started, looking up, as he pointed a blade at Ethan. His expression was calm. Your middle brother was the most stoic of you all, moving through life with a steadiness that was the foil to you and Ansel’s subdued Chaos. Perhaps if Billy had been his dad it would’ve made a bit more sense. “—is ours. Don’t even think about touching her.”

“But she killed—”

“Do you think I give a shit about your pathetic brother?” Matteo laughed, standing and dragging the tip of his sword across the floor. “She’s our—” he paused, searching for the right words. “she’s kind of like a sister. You can have the other ones, but not Billy’s kid.”

“That alright with you, sweetheart?” You asked, running your fingers along Ethan’s jawline.

There was a pause, a moment of tension, where Ethan seemed to debate the serious merits of trusting you all, when he nodded.

“Fine. Fine, alright.”

“Good boy.” You cooed, moving yourself fully onto his lap, and looked to Matteo. “I’m serious. Call the supplier.”

He nodded wordlessly and left the room, likely off to see if Ansel was writing runes in blood all over the walls again. You opened the Dominos app and began scrolling, settling back into Ethan’s chest. He was tense—more than tense, but he slowly began to relax as the vanilla scent of your perfume invaded his senses.

“They seem…” he swallowed, and you felt the movement against your own body. “Nice.”

You snorted.

“Hawaiian or Meat Lovers?”

“Hawaiian, duh. But how did you guys—where were you—”

“Stu knocked up our mom a couple times when they were teenagers. She was totally in love, even though he had a girlfriend, which it turned out he had a boyfriend because Billy was—”

“But where were you?”

You paused your typing, turning your face to glance at him.

“The system.” You admitted, frowning at your screen. “Ansel got us out when he turned eighteen. I’d been fostered a couple of times but it never stuck.” You smirked, meeting his eyes again. “He made us nicknames. He thinks we’re some kind of special superheroes. Out to serve justice for anyone who’s wronged Stu or Billy.”

You finished ordering and turned in his lap, slipping your legs around him. You’d just met the dude, for fucks sake, but he was hot. And besides—you’d always been rather forward. Flirtation was in your nature. You felt a thrill when he immediately grabbed your hips, his intrigue and fascination overpowering any shyness.

“Which are?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m The Bomb.” You laughed, and beamed when a grin split across his face. “I know, Cliché. He’s Joker, and Matteo is Red Ninja Turtle.”

“Oddly specific for the last one.”

“He finds pride in his creativity.”

Just then Ansel burst back into the living-room, the Ghostface mask on his head, wielding a chainsaw. It wasn’t on, thank God, but Ethan still gasped and flinched backwards, almost smacking his head against the couch.

“Look what I found!” Ansel laughed, shaking the weapon around. “It’s like Christmas!”

“I told you to stay organized.” Matteo groaned, following after him, and yanked the mask off his brother’s head. “God, take an Ambien or something. You’re freaking me out.”

The doorbell rang, then, and all four of you turned to look at it.

“Do you think it’s the pizza?” Ansel whispered, speaking into a voice modulator and, despite himself, a hesitant smile began pulling on Ethan’s mouth. Shit, your family was way more insane than his.

“We’re all gonna end up in an asylum.” Matteo muttered, pointing a finger at Ansel. “Chainsaw. Closet. Now.”

As he opened the door, smiling politely and talking in that sweet way he always did to strangers, you jostled Ethan a bit underneath you.

“Come on,” you said, moving off of him and grabbing his hand. “come see my collection.”

-

An hour later, after the four of you had split three pizzas and were watching one of the Saw movies, you yawned and moved into your bedroom. Ethan followed—like a puppy, to your amusement—and watched as you opened up your window and leaned against the frame.

“They are..” he trailed off, eyebrows pinched together. He’d allowed Ansel to tease and terrorize him, then Matteo to interrogate him in a low, hushed voice about Ethan’s family and their plans. He’d spared no detail, well aware of the sword that rested on the floor next to your middle sibling. “I don’t know. I’m scared, but I like them.”

“Welcome to the club.” You smirked, peering up at him through your lashes. He leaned against the frame beside you, toned arms brushing your own. The night breeze tousled his hair as he stared out at the city, a contemplative look on his face. “What’s going on up here?” You asked, running your fingers through those dark curls of his, and he shrugged.

“I don’t know, I just…I can’t believe you guys are alive.” He glanced over, then away. “Makes me feel like an amateur.”

“Everyone has to start somewhere, babe.” You told him, bumping your shoulder against his own. “Once Sam joins us, we can go after Sydney. And that bitch, Gale.”

“You think she would?”

“I’ve seen her from afar.” You admitted. “She’s got that look on her face. You know?”

“Yeah.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “I think I do.”

You stared at each other for another moment, his expression softening as he took in your face. Before he could do something stupid like have a crush on you, you turned, snatching something off your shelf.

“Here then.” You told him, dropping one of your grenades into his hand. He flinched, and you giggled. “Welcome to team Stu.”

this is the most unhinged family ever but I truly think they’d solo

Part TWO

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hello! Are you hyperfixated on RedactedAudio?

Do you want (need) to know who to follow to cultivate your dashboard and feed your gremlin brain good, good boyfriend roleplay content?

Cool, I’ve got you, and I’ve got hyperlinks. Buckle up.

(Note: This is by no means a comprehensive, objective, or complete list. I've only been in the fandom for six months or so. I have biases and favorites and limited time. I hope to update this list periodically, and if you feel I've missed someone, please feel free to reblog with your additions! I just would have loved a guide like this when I got into the fandom back in August and wanted to spread some positivity~!)

Fanfiction:

@angelnoodlesoup: she/her

Sophie is just one of the sweetest David stans that's ever existed who writes, like, the sweetest things about him. Her posts are just going to make you feel warm, fluffy, soft things in your heart area; give into the sweetness. Highlights: Sophie writes this adorable timestamp series of vignettes exploring Davey and Angel's day, but I'm particularly attacked to their David/Angel neighbors to lovers AU~

@arrowfleur

I was actually going to put Max in the visual content portion of this post, because they post delightful Redacted edits on Tiktok (under the same username, highly recommend~), but then they made a uquiz that gave me an existential crisis, so here we are. Highlights: This quiz sent my whole server for a loop and has made me reconsider my relationship with Lovely as a character and kin; it's a great time.

@batch-of-pengwings: robin/bird, she/her

Robin, an absolute sweetheart who makes all the fun ask games that keep the community interconnected and thinking and talking which is just really sweet and fun in the best way. Highlights: The Winter Wonderland game is the one who went around most recently, and it’s so fun to engage with the fandom and discuss who we think is stupid enough to get their tongues stuck on a telephone poll~

@bicyclepainting: they/them

Clover, the fandom's resident Smartass, doing the lord's work and reminding us all how fucking smoochable Aaron is on a regular basis on top of being the coolest astrology nerd don't give them your birth chart you will be perceived /lh Highlights: No one is doing Aaron/Smartass like they are; like, read and absorb the delicious, domestic delight that is them. I also recommend their deep dives into the Redacted bois signs, if you're into that; they're very thorough and fun to read!

@cashandprizes: she/they

My Lexi, my queerplatonic soulmate… She is on a quest to dissect and critique fandom brick by philosophical brick, and I both love her and fear her in equal measure. (That’s a lie, I love her infinitely, more than anything, but she is in fact incredibly intelligent and intimidating.) Highlights: Come for the scathing insights into gray-morality and DD:DNE’s place in fiction, stay for the stripper!Gavin fic they’re working on and their sequel to Lasko’s SexTember audio because she really wanted to make him cry

@ejunkiet: she/her

EJ, the very first of my Redacted loves~ Not only is EJ an endless well of kindness and positivity, but she also writes fucking bomb ass everything. You get angst, you get smut, you get fluff- We stan a multitalented, ace queen. (She also writes really cute CastleAudios fanfiction and original stuff as a cherry on top.) Highlights: EJ writes just some of my favorite David/Angel smut; she captures Angel's little shit nature perfectly. She's also written the sweetest thing of Damien meeting Huxley's moms that I can't get enough of~

@dominimoonbeam: she/her

Domini, truly one of the pillars of the fandom. I don't know what'd we'd be without her fantastic fics or her original novellas or her fantastic, beautiful, rarepair-creating brain. Highlights: God, there's too many to choose from! There's the Sam/Darlin fake dating AU that has us all gripped by the proverbial balls. There's the David/Darlin tattoo shop AU that has me frothing at the mouth because tattoo artists are stinkin hot. That's not even getting into their Cam/William fic, because god, that is such a good rarepair. We love two immortals finding love with one another, we really do. My personal favorite has got to be their Huxley/Darlin piece though, because Darlin gets to be cute and awkward and so, so loved in it.

@frenchiefitzhere: she/her

Frenchie, the fandom's unofficial (but basically official) Marie Greer, not only a gorgeous writer but also the creator of the most fantastical and unique fansongs (who makes original audio content to boot~) Highlights: We would be nowhere as a fandom without the Marie/Colm greer backstory and saga or her audios as the Greer Matriarch herself, but personally? Her Imperium!Lasko/Adam fic kind of changed my life, I'm kind of obsessed with it.

@friendlyfaded: he/him

Miles, the king and professor of the rarepairs! Beware, you will leave his blog wishing for fics for a ship that doesn’t actually exist yet. It’s unavoidable when you read the careful, creative, thoughtful way he considers seemingly silly pairings and makes them gorgeous. Highlights: I recommend his whole rarepairs with prof tag for a snack and his Sweetheart/Lasko/Milo fic for a whole meal~

@gingerbreadmonsters: she/her

Ginger, literally one of the sweetest, friendliest people in the entire Internet. I cannot adequately describe the absolute magnificent poetry of Ginger's prose, so you just have to read it for yourself. You will not be disappointed. Highlights: Ginger's Milo/Sweetheart series is for if you're feeling sweet, and her Vincent/Lovely/Gavin/Freelancer foursome fic is if you're feeling spicy~ Or if you're like me and are longing for an character we'll never see again, you can read her gorgeous, Doctor Who-inspired look in Marcus's mind.

@glassbearclock: she/her

Beans, also known as the best Milo/Sweetheart writer in the game. Their banter is taken from the mouth of god and first name Erik last name Redacted himself, and you could not convince me otherwise. Highlights: I’m a big fan of her sweet, wholesome, Jewish!Milo sick fic, but aYO her Milo/Sweetheart first date fic is so good y’all like goddamn Sweetheart phases through their door and makes Milo faceplant it on accident man that shit is so good

@horrorscoupes: they/he

My beautiful, darling Lotus, my gloriously deranged brother in arms (affectionate). The way they write each and every d(a)emons is just so -chef kiss-. Highlights: I think about their Regulus/Doll fic, like, literally every day, it's just yummy and depraved. Though, for a true taste of genius, for a galaxy brain treat, you've got to read his Shark!Vega/Pet masterpiece.

@k9rage: he/xi

My beloved Calico, our helpful Image Description fairy. He is just so cool and writes the most glorious smut like the world has ever seen. As of publishing, he's writing a Vega/Lasko street racing AU that's gonna be just smoke ash cinder fire hot. Highlights: You need to read his Damien/Gavin waxplay fic; like, this changed my life, I think about it daily. Ooh, AND his Aaron/SmartAss/Gavin threesome fic, because he didn't do all that thinking and imagining for us to not appreciate it. I'm also reccing @calicostorms, his other blog and spotify, so you can get at his stellar Redacted character playlists!

@lovelylonerliterature: 

Lovely, absolute stand-out writer in the fandom! Would you believe they have a whole (as of posting) 95 works for the RedactedASMR fandom on AO3? There’s <2000 fics, which makes Lovely a whole five percent of the fanfiction on their own. That’s wild and so hella cool. Highlights: Literally everything they write. Explore their extremely well done masterlist, it’s beautifully put together, and you’ll find something you love. (I’m particularly fond of the Darlin/Vega fic they wrote based off of one of FriendlyFaded’s posts~)

@romirola: she/her

Dr. Romi, the one and the only and one of the legitimate sweetest goddamn people that has ever existed. You've never met a more polite, darling person in all your days. How did she write all these thousands of words of art while getting a doctorate? God, I wish I knew... if only we could also be so beautiful and wonderful and accomplished. Highlights: You haven't existed until you've read her Milo/Sweetheart Tangled AU; like, what are you doing here? GO. (I also deeply recommend her found family Shaw Pack + Sam fic, if you're looking for something that's still ongoing!)

@sealriously-sealrious: they/them

Chrys who writes- no contest I think we can all agree- the best Huxley that this fandom has ever seen. He is just so well-explored and so multifaceted, just the top-tier himbo content we all need and deserve. Highlights: Huxley and Freelancer at the aquarium, Huxley and Freelancer going camping, sfw, nsfw, whatever you want, we've GOT. (There's even some imperium!Huxley, if you're so inclined >:))

@starlitangels: she/her

Starlit, another absolute powerhouse of the fandom. Just look at this masterlist, I think there’s something here for literally every character. That’s what babes call RANGE. Highlights: The way they explore the Shaw pack is so fun; I’d highly recommend her fic exploring Gabe and his backstory or her fic exploring the Shaw’s future pups~!

@taelonsamada: she/her

A pillar- or should I say fence post?- of the fandom and just an utter peach. Always has a nice word to say and says the best nice words about Sam and Darlin- Highlights: Her nsfw Geordi/Cutie fic holds a special place in my heart (the blindfold? the gag? Be still my beating heart), but you haven’t lived until you’ve read her Shaw-centric Ranch AU~!

@teasandcardigans: she/her

Mads, another lovely creator that could be in either section of this post- that's how talented she is! Not only is she a lovely writer but she also designs the most fun Redacted stickers! Also, she's got the only Redacted fan tiktok that Erik has confirmed seen and liked, can't not mention that it's so cool Highlights: Honestly, there's too many to mention! A really popular of hers is a "What If" echo-esque reimagining of everyone's stories which is so fun, and my personal, biased favorite is her Alexis & Gavin fic hear me OUT-

@the-sugar-crash

Cait, out here doing the most and the best. They’ve run the Redacted Winter Gift Exchange for the past two years, connecting blogs who might have never spoken to each other, inspiring creativity, and spreading holiday cheer~ Highlights: I recommend taking a look-see through the “Redacted 2022 Winter Gift Exchange” tag- much thanks to Cait for making it possible- to consider if you’d like to join next year! Until then, there’s a compilation of their cute headcanon posts to inspire you!

@zozo-01: she/her

Zo, one of the sweetest people in the fandom~ Not only is she a fantastic writer, but she is also one of the friendliest people in the space! Constantly excited and supportive and positive and a joy to follow and befriend. Highlights: Her Sam/Darlin Deity AU is going to change the world and break some hearts, I just know it. (Just like her Alexis and Darlin meeting fic broke mine-) If you're not up to getting your heart broken and just want a friend, I recommend asking her about her Powerpoint of Bollywood scenes that could be Sam/Darlin moments~!

Fanart:

@andr0leda: she/they

Androleda’s art is so gorgeous in that most of them are uncolored or working with a smaller palette, and it just makes those colors stand out and the line work all the more elegant. Highlights: Their wolf!Darlin piece got so popular, and you can see why! It looks like the cover of a really cool YA fantasy novel. Also, her Sam/Darlin art just melts the heart- the gentle hand, the key around the neck-!

@artbykays

Kays, a fantastic artist who plays around with the prettiest, brightest colors and has the prettiest (hottest) fem listeners. They also have super fun Redacted playlists! Highlights: Their Sweetheart, Valentina, is kind of smokin hot, I mean look at her, but also good lord, have you seen their Warden like lock me up anytime hello-

@belovedbow

Bow’s art just makes me so soft and gooey inside I dunno. Their art is so pretty, and they always have the most expressive faces. Not to mention the colors- like, Bow uses the simplest but most emotionally evocative shades of pinks and blues that make me inexplicably feel things, and I love it. Highlights: Literally all their Davey/Angel is the sweetest, but I also have this deep fondness for their imp!FL and Vindemiator pieces, because look at these deep, mournful blues, they’re beautiful!

@cascadiiing: they/them

Atlas creates the most beautiful, squishable, smoochable characters on top of being the most beautiful, squishable, smoochable (platonic) sweetie in existence~ they’re so sweet and friendly on top of being so talented at such a young age, and I would protect them with my life. Highlights: Their Sam kind of makes me so lovesick, I could barf- he’s just that pretty. Their Alexis/Christian art is fanart of my own fic, I’ll grant you, but it’s also so fucking pretty look at the dreamy colors and it MOVES-

@claracatlady

Where would we be without Clara, like honestly- What really stands out about their art is- other than the overwhelming talent- the obvious thought and joy that went into designing the outfits. Only the best from our resident fashion design student! Highlights: literally everything. If I must be specific, the David design pinned to their blog is utterly ahdhkakshdjsk, and I am particularly partial to their Alexis design, because I love my beautiful, possibly complex lady okay-

@fregget-frou : he/they

Mal has the prettiest Listeners; I’m lowkey in love with all of them~ I love the way he does such fluffy, voluminous hair, and I dunno, all their listener OC’s have this fashion model-esque glamour and posture about them that’s really attractive. Highlights: Of their listeners, Mal’s Angel has got to be my favorite. Look at this fluffy-haired cutie! Look at this menace! I would also propose to them, they’re gorgeous!

@gwenifred: she/her

Gwen draws the most gorgeous, swoon-worthy Huxleys and is just a big sweetpea to boot. Her and Pali sharing OC’s and art trades here and on Twitter is a testament to how friendly and sweet the fandom can be! Highlights: Everything she draws is gorgeous, but you haven’t lived until you’ve seen her animation work!

@ice-palace-art: They/It/He/Dae

Darby has some of the most beautiful designs, I can hardly stand it. He creates the most gorgeous, realistically proportioned characters and listeners, and they’re just really smoochable okay let me live- Highlights: It has this one piece of Gavin and Lasko having a sleepover that fills me with the warm fuzzies every time I see it, and their Aaron design fills me with longing I am hopelessly in love with their dad-bodded Aaron.

@itsdaifuku: she/her

Y’all don’t even know the little happy stim storm Fuku’s art sets me on; like, all her art is so cute and joyful and somehow colorful even when it’s in black and white? It just gives the vibe of life and vibrancy constantly? How does she do that? Highlights: Literally, everything she draws is gorgeous and sweet, though her designs for the Shaws and their mates are so S-tier and so cute. (I’m also particularly fond of her designs for Love and Alexis, my favorite characters, I’m biased, sue me)

@mr-laveau: he/they

Laveau, my favorite Milo kinnie~ (Yeah, I said it out loud; I’m callin you out.) Charming, thoughtful, friendly, much more talented than they have any right to be when they’re also so funny and sweet, AND also writing at their other blog @bratty-telepath. You’ve never seen such a double threat. Highlights: Literally, everything he makes. All his designs are colorful and gorgeous and filled to the brim with deliberate, intentional details (though I am incredibly partial to their Alexis and Darlin designs and the parallels he included between them.)

@nais-doodles

Nai is a fucking blessing unto this fandom, and we are not worthy. You haven’t really lived, haven’t experienced all the pure, positive silliness that this hellsite has to offer until you experience Nai’s Redacted Actor AU. It’s pure serotonin, and we’re all here listening to Boyfriend ASMR, I know we could use it. Highlights: Other than said AU posts (which really are so fuckin good), have you seen their drawing of Vincent and Sam’s Monarchal ball? Ooh, and if you go to their tiktok under the same username, you can see some of the really cool dating sim they’re working on!

@nanowatzophina: any pronouns

Na’no is not only a must follow on tumblr, but I also highly recommend their tiktok if you wish to wade through the horrid cesspool of that app (I say with tiktok as one of my top social media sites- we have a codependent relationship) Their art is super cute and expressive, and I get massive gender envy from the way he draws hair and teeth. Highlights: Her aspec Freelancer is just so close to my heart; I adore Avery so deeply. Also, the way they draw imperium!Vega and Pet makes my heart fucking melt and want to jump out my chest- the size difference, my god

@obsessivedino: they/them

Mint’s contribution to the fandom cannot possibly be overstated. Their art style is just so clean and neat and with the cutest expressions, and I love their designs so much, especially for the d(a)emon bois I just ahhhhh Highlights: If you’ve joined the official unofficial Redacted Discord server, you’ve seen their adorable stickers reminding you to kick that ass or hydrate unless you want to die-drate, and you haven’t truly embraced life unless you’ve seen their two-year anniversary masterpiece. Ooh, or pocket caelum!

@palilious: she/her

There is no Redacted fandom or fandom list without Pali, and we’ve all accepted that. Her style is so uniquely and instantaneously recognizable as hers, and everyone adores it, including but not limited to GBA, Nomad, and Cardlin! Highlights: Literally everyone she draws is so pretty, though I have a soft spot for her Vincent or her Nomad drawings if you’re looking for more VAs to listen to!

@pearl-kite: she/they

Kirehn has the most huggable humans and the most awe-inspiring d(a)emons. The way she draws the d(a)emons with constellations worked into the designs and color palettes is just so gorgeous and purposeful and thoughtful. Highlights: Their Vega is so frightening but beautiful, you just can’t look away from him. I’m also particularly in love with their Darlin!

@queendread

Do y’all ever do this thing when you see an ethereally beautiful person and you have no words, all you can do is giggle like a vapid schoolgirl(gn)? That’s me with all of Anna’s paintings: no words, just awe. Highlights: I don’t even really like Gavin, okay, he’s not my type, but lord above, Anna’s Gavin is something else. Their Sam also has those Captain America, boy next door good looks I imagined, it’s like they took him right out of my daydreams.

@ryokoaoi : they/them

Ryo has the absolute cutest, most adorable art style, one can barely handle it! Everything they draw is just so pretty and so colorful and detailed and sweet. (Except the sad things, those are less sweet but gosh they’re still so pretty.) They also have this Magic Swap AU that they design that is so fun to read about! Highlights: Their swapped! Gavin and Avior designs are so fun, I adore them deeply, and if you need something to cheer you up, you can always depend on their DAMN pieces that always include a little invisible Caelum to bring you joy~!

@slushrottweiler: she-they

There is nothing like seeing Slush’s signature blue linework on your dashboard, it’s such a sweet treat- or spicy. There are also very good, very spicy treats. Her blog is a magnificent roulette wheel of blue surprises. Highlights: I love their Sam/Darlin stuff, especially this one because wowee them shoulderblades, but their HuxDami BA piece takes the cake.

@spookybeandoodle

Spooky has my whole heart and wallet and my other heart if I had one I fell in love with their rich color palettes and shading and Alexis right away and had to commission them. Could not recommend enough, they were a treasure to work with~ Highlights: I’m not biased- okay yes I am but not now their Alexis is fuckin smoking hot but also their Cam might be my favorite Cam look at that smile-!

@sri-rachaa: she/her

Rae is such a treasure to this fandom, we hardly deserve her. Her art is so ethereally pretty and delicate? The way she draws hair and noses and silhouettes- her line work is just phenomenal. Everything she creates is just a delight to look at. Highlights: The Southern Siblings AU is a gift, a treasure, a boon that cannot be ignored. I’m also a big fan of her Lovely OC who is ridiculously pretty~

@tankwolf : she/her

June has been posting fanart for only two months, but I’m already absolutely obsessed. I just find her monochrome character portraits so visually engaging and interesting. I would love so badly to be friends with her listener OC’s… Highlights: …or more than friends, because her Sweetheart is something else good lord. I would just love it if June could stop putting the hot people in crop tops please (but also don’t cause whoa)

@terrazaurio

All the fanart Terra creates is so bright and vivid and colorful and expressive, they’re really such a treat to see and experience. I’m a sucker for the colors they use, cause it makes my lizard brain all happy and go “shiny pretty happy.” Highlights: Everything they draw with the Shaw Pack is pure dopamine, like this one of the bois and their mates hanging by the pool. I am particularly attached to this piece from Milo’s HBS, because they’re so fucking in love, your honor, I love them.

@thefablefoxart : she/her

Angelina’s Redacted couple series is one of the truest delights of the fandom; like, they’re so colorful and cute and just adorably designed. I’m also deeply in love with the way she does hair. Everyone just has really fucking good looking hair, and I can’t get over it-Highlights: On top of the aforementioned couple series, I just want to bring attention to this adorable chibi Sam that she drew- it brings me so much serotonin- and their Darlin, Kai who I wish would just give me a shot okay I have a Southern accent too-

If you’re reading all the way here, I hope you found the post helpful and smiled while making your way through it! Or both! The RedactedAudio fandom is truly one of my favorite spaces on the internet; it’s so intimate and creative, and I’ve found some amazing, perfect friends here, so I hope you will too 💖

again playing around with the formatting please stop hurting me tumblr I’m trying to be nice

If you can see this, I love you, and you’re watching me try to format this post so tumblr doesn’t cut off the bottom of it please ignore the Android behind the emerald curtain go about your day

[vechter]

Top 5 Dick headcanons?

1. dick having long term impacts from blüdhaven being bombed (n52 i'm furiously pretending you don't exist)- i just don't think dick should ever be able to talk about the city he chose to protect that got nuked bc he got under a cringe old man's skin. even years later, he wakes up from nightmares about chemo being dropped. he can't talk about it. it's his biggest failure, his biggest what-if. he can't talk about it still. the guilt occasionally threatens to eat him alive. if he had never vowed to protect it, would it still be standing? also i know continuity about where exactly he was at the time is confusing- infinite crisis puts him in new york but his own solo has him in the thick of the action in blüd, which is my personal preference. i would also like to see long term impacts from the level of radiation he was exposed to. a few chemical burns, possibly sterility (an interesting thing to explore that his parents' legacy biologically dies with him- he is the last grayson. but persists in the way he has taught those around him to fly and catch.) plus i want bruce to feel insane about this because no one else will understand how dick feels about a city like bruce does. also, bruce regretting not having stepped in earlier when dick was in the mob or the circus was burning down. it's one of his biggest regrets, too.

2. dick moves back to new york after bruce comes back bc new york has always shepherded and saved him. he went there when he lost robin, when he lost blüdhaven. preferably, he moves in with donna or roy because the year he spent being batman changed something intrinsically in his code and he needs to be around people who love him for him. he doesn't know how much of it was an act, how much of it was the mission, how much of it was grief. he never wanted to be like bruce and yet. yet. also a big fan of dick convincing tim to move to san francisco with young justice after bruce comes back because he is seeing what gotham, what batman is doing to his brother. tim stays there for a year, attends college before upping and moving to new york, instead. far enough from gotham but still tethered to batman. it is a little brother's prerogative to copy everything your big brother does <3

3. he and cass have a complicated dynamic. they both see and understand bruce in a way no one else does. it can sometimes be a good thing because they feel seen. but it also leads to conflict and subsequent resentment and hurt. and they both feel guilty about it because they know the other person has nothing but good intentions and their heart in the right place. also, dick is an intensely private person so for cass to be able to clock his lies, his performative nature- it often feels like too much. people are always watching him but cass sees him. and i don't imagine dick being too pleased about that. meanwhile, cass, to whom bruce and babs are probably the most important people, also feels a degree of resentment that they both are so intensely abnormal about dick, even when dick lashes out/hurts them. i miss cass throwing dick out of windows, it was so fun. but also, their entire approach to vigilantism and the concept of perfection. there is so much untapped potential for them to have excellent conflicts and resolutions. also idk where i saw this but cass being unable to do a quadruple and dick privately gloating about that. hilarious <3

4. recurrent knee pain. listen, the boy is an acrobat and he tends to stick his landings on unforgiving terrain like concrete and roof-tops. plus, firefly shot him in his right leg and he spent a big chunk of canon on crutches and wearing a brace. sometimes, your body recovers from an injury but it is never the same again. a notable part of the pain is also psychosomatic. it reminds him of one of the worst times in his life- the circus burning, his apartment being blown up, blockbuster, tarantula, etc. and how much of a failure he thinks he was during that time. like i said, the guilt often threatens to eat him alive so ofc the long-term, intermittent pain of an injury like that is mixed with immense mental stress as well.

5. his most intense and most private thoughts about jason and tim. things he hates himself for thinking, things even truth serum or magic or whacky comic shenanigans wouldn't pull out of him. bruce took on jason as robin to get over the pain of losing dick and somewhere deep, deep inside, dick resents both of them for it. because jason died in his colours, under his name. and now they all live in a post-jason world, jason included. and maybe if bruce had never had jason, he wouldn't have ever lost him and bruce could still be the man/god that dick unquestionably put his faith in.

building up on this, their first real interaction after bruce punches dick for confronting him about jason's death is primarily because of tim. tim is the catalyst for the events in a lonely place of dying.

and while i don't subscribe to the bruce-is-abusive-camp, i think exploring scenarios where dick leaves bruce for good is so compelling. like i don't fuck with batman beyond and don't claim to be super knowledgeable about those runs, but what is enough for dick? what would make him abandon bruce? what would make him come back? it's so neat to explore. and i think in a world where dick decides bruce is unforgivable, he would come back for the kids. in fact, he does come back for terry and bruce is perhaps the most expressive we see in terms of his regrets about dick, about missing dick, about hurting him but dick doesn't really want to listen.

and i think, that interaction post jason's death altered their dynamic fundamentally. it makes dick go to therapy lol. and we never see on-screen resolution of that, just a continued glimpse into bruce's worsening spiral. so, i think, it's interesting to consider how dick would view tim's role in this. like yes, he loves and adores tim (a thousand ninjas wouldn't be enough, the closest thing i have to a little brother).

but does he privately wonder what would have happened if tim hadn't come in and dragged them both in a situation where they have no option but to co-exist semi-harmoniously? it took tim for them to talk again but is that really for the better? or for the worse? because dick's devotion to bruce is not only detrimental to his mental health, it is often straight-up dangerous for him. and while dick may be unable to recognize the mental strain it puts him under, he would probably have a sort of inkling of the physical harm. taking back blackgate all alone for bruce, the time bruce hits him when he thinks gordon is dead, the time he jumps in front of a blast aimed for bruce, the time bruce has superman's powers and beats dick down when dick calls him out.

6. a fun, small one. he had a threesome with kory and roy in the outsiders era exactly once. it made sense because he loves them and he knows they loved donna just as much as he did. it was soft and fun and a very transparent attempt to get dick to let down his walls. dick left when they were both asleep, cried when he went home and they never spoke of it again.

[edibleashell]

TUA S4 feels

Pretty sure that Umbrella Academy S4 finale left a permanent scar on my psyche. Still one of my favorite shows but I might just end after season 3 in future rewatches. So many issues with S4.

In like episode 1 we got Ben and Jennifer touching and that started a countdown to the end of the world and the whole season was just junk to fill that time. So many good ideas that weren't done properly at all. Shuffling their powers? Alternate timelines? Hargreaves owning pretty much everything? Abigail just being alive? Pointless.

Luther was just a repeating loop of stripper and home decorating jokes.

Diego should have been a martial arts instructor or something not a depressed delivery guy. A bunch of jokes about him getting out of shape only to reveal that he's still jacked. He throws a potted plant and misses. His arc is just Big Sad for no reason and the relationships he built in the first three seasons were apparently irrelevant, if anyone would have been taking care of Safety Klaus it would have been him.

Allison's character was just an accessory to Klaus, after three seasons of her trying to reclaim the family she lost she ended up spending more time as a tool to Klaus's arc than she did with Claire. And Ray just being casually written out was so disrespectful.

Klaus, oh poor Klaus, my favorite character, what did they do to you? He should have been a nurse or something but instead he was paranoid, then pissed off because the writers decided that Klaus would equate marigold with drugs and just fall right off the wagon? And then he goes to some sketchy guy he owes money to even though S1 Klaus is shown just buying drugs from random people? All to justify his prisoner plot, none of which had any real impact. And he can fly for a second for some reason. Okay.

Five working for the CIA was bad. He should have been the retired fun uncle to Claire and Grace. After spending fifty years trying to get back to his family why did he keep leaving them? Why did he hook up with his brother's wife after only six years? And am I supposed to believe that in every timeline he has the same haircut? That none of the other Fives lost their arm? How did he never notice his boss's blatant umbrella tattoo? He just casually strolls through "his" apocalypse as though he doesn't have ptsd, and why were he and Lila living off sewer rats when they had infinite timelines to scavenge?

I was so excited to see Ben witg the family but one episode in he becomes a bomb and fucks off with a girl who can hardly be called a character.

Viktor was the only character I thought got some form of authenticity and justified growth, his arc kind of seemed like a ripoff of S3 Klaus though. And we missed out on what could have been a really beautiful scene of him drawing the upside down umbrella on his arm.

Lila went from "I don't want to be like my mom" to a motherhood cliche. And what was the deal with her family? She just found her parents and they immediately accepted her or something? Was there another Lila in this universe? That made no sense. If anyone would have joined the CIA it would have been her. Her and Diego should have been weird parents teaching their kids how to fight and kill but instead they got some domestic life that those characters never belonged in.

And there's so much more! Abigail is alive? Hardly relevant. Why did she body snatched Gene, it didn't really seem to change anything. The Keepers existed only to be a minor obstacle in the last episode. And are her and Reggie aliens? Why? How? What's the point?

AND DURANGO? THAT'S A CAR! Harland named marigold and for a farm kid that makes sense (though the retconned acceptance of that word into Umbrella vocabulary was irksome) But Durango? Abigail is a scientist and she names The Bad Dust after an SUV? Why?

AND WHY WAS THERE ZERO QUEERNESS? Each of the first three seasons had some sort of queer arc but not this one. I still wonder if some higher-up didn't intentionally assassinate the show as backlash for the immense respect S3 gave Elliot Page.

One last thing, music is a big part of the show, they've always put such thought and care into the soundtrack and it makes sense knowing who the creators are, so why, of all songs, was Baby Damn Shark the first song to be featured in like three episodes? It seems intentionally disrespectful.

I'm done, rant over, I'll never recover from this.

[stanwixbuster]

jynx absolutely fascinates me as a game dev because they're like. inspiration but in the opposite way of literally everything they've ever done

jynx decided they want to make touhou-like shmups, and decided to approach this by building most patterns around extremely fast bullets relying entirely on player reaction or having already seen a pattern before, infamously the most disliked and player-antagonistic way of approaching bullet hells

jynx added a great iteration on touhou-like shmups with flash bombing, an infinitely regenerating way to clear bullets if you put yourself in active danger in contrast to the use of bombs as a safe but finite resource, and then made sure you could only use it if you aren't focusing your shots, which you spend over 90% of a touhou-like doing

jynx created "absurdly extra" stages just as a complete fuck you to the player. half of them are humanly impossible to complete

jynx's version of character development is to add more characters. jynx will drop one of the most fascinating backstories you've ever heard that has groundbreaking and sweeping impacts on len'en lore, yet somehow being entirely consistent with it, and then proceed to do literally nothing and minutes later introduce another character with one of the most fascinating backstories you've ever heard. len'en has 40+ characters and all of them have been in perpetual Big Things Are Coming hell for over half a decade

jynx has spent over an alledged 15 years working on the world and lore in mugenri and the outside world, desperately wants to share this and continually mentions the short stories and lore dumps they write, which we never see, because they have somehow convinced themself the only way to show this story is through touhou-likes, which are notable for showing "story" as an excuse for people to shoot bullets at each other

jynx treats feature creep like an arms race. there isn't a single idea they come up with that doesn't end up in a game or is planned to at a later date. len'en 4 is still technically unfinished despite it having enough paths to dwarf all the previous len'en games combined thrice over and featuring the entire cast of the series in it (i will stress again, 40+ characters), and they've promised a dlc with even more stuff to do

jynx wanted to make a mobile cafe management simulator after having made nothing but bullet hell shmups on pc, just because it sounded fun, realised their previous tools couldn't make mobile games well, realised they'd be going in entirely blind on a new tech stack, realised they'd be going in blind on a genre they have no experience with, decided to tag on a second entire game to the cafe management with a turn-based rpg, realised they also have no experience with that genre, continued anyway, learnt how to use unity from the ground up, realised the multitude of issues unity development brings, decided every single character also needed to be in this one with unique boss battles, realised the problems of having 40+ character assets and 5min+ music themes in a mobile game that very infamously is a platform you need to stick to strict asset and tech limitations, decided to stream in assets from a server, made it a live service game because it would be online and that was an obvious next step, stuck through it, totalling in five years of dev time to make a full "gacha" game that is generous beyond belief and makes them a net zero in ad revenue vs server costs

jynx iterates nothing. literally everything you see in their games is the first go and if it sucks, too bad

jynx creates all their music with default fl studio sounds and the touhou trumpet. everything's unmixed. they earnestly believe that loud = better

jynx, allegedly, "blacks out" when making music after hitting some kind of flow state, and wakes up with a complete track. like everything else, these are never iterated on

jynx wrote the entirety of len'en 4's 100,000+ word script in one week. i don't even have a funny comment for this one

jynx doesn't think len'en would fit the format of a visual novel despite the fact len'en 4 has a 100,000+ word script

jynx refuses to collab with anyone for any reason. motives unclear

jynx did three 12 hour back-to-back livestreams crunching to finish book of the cafe. literally no part of this is a good idea

jynx is like the quintessential representation of everything you shouldn't do as a game dev. they should have burnt out years ago and been remembered as nothing but a random quirky touhou ripoff that was an interesting yet janky interpretation but ultimately went nowhere and YET here we are coming in to len'ens decade anniversary

how the fuck is jynx a real person. why am i so obsessed with everything they've ever made

[zahri-melitor]

Poking at timeline stuff again:

So Kon was ‘born’ in 1993, and hatched from his tube aged… 15ish? He turned 1 in Nov 1995 (Superboy Annual #2 of his series) – note Kon is STILL AGING here, and after this point he’s usually described as 16 physically. His age ‘froze’ in July 1997 (Superboy #41) and then started aging again after Sins of Youth in May 2000 (Superboy #74) Kon died in May 2006 (Infinite Crisis #6) Kon returned in June 2009 (Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds #4)

2000-2006 is about a year in Comics Time. I think it’s 100% fair to say Kon was physically 17 year old, at his youngest, as at his death, and mentally 17-18.

Kon enrolled in Smallville High on his revival – he’s almost certainly in Year 12/a Senior – and 2009ish is known as the ‘start’ of a school year by a bunch of correlating factors (Steph starting college is one). Flashpoint interrupts and this school year likely never finished. He may or may not have celebrated his 18th birthday before Flashpoint but it either happened or was due imminently.

Known timegaps – Kon lost slightly over a year between Infinite Crisis and Final Crisis. His aging stopped either for over a year (if you use Bat timelines) or more like 6 months (given it was 3 years real time). In total I want to say Kon’s ‘age’ went backwards about 18 months to two years over this period. His mental age, however, probably only lost 15 months or so.

By Flashpoint, Kon probably was due to celebrate his 18th birthday in his personal timeline.

In comparison: Jason Todd died aged 15 (if you take canon at its word) or 14 years 9 months (if you use the canonical birthday and death day dates). He was officially dead for 6 months before getting resurrected (- 6 months) and then in a coma for a year (-12 months). He then had a fun amnesiac period which does not have a defined length of time before Talia got sick of it and pushed Jason into a Pit.

Using Bat timelines, 18 months after Jason’s death is probably some time around Contagion or Legacy. Legacy in particular makes a lot of sense for Talia to see Jason in Gotham and pick him up to take home with her. He probably had to go into a Lazarus Pit during No Man’s Land, given Bane and Bruce start the ‘destroy all the Lazarus Pits’ campaign post-NML, culminating in Death and the Maidens in 2003-2004.

Either way, Jason Todd is still mentally 15 years old as of 2000.

Jason’s not in a position to return to Gotham with Talia’s urging until AFTER the rebuild for the famous bomb the Batmobile moment (realistically probably 2000-2001), and from the rebuild process IN DC comics 2001 is a better call than 2000 if you don’t still want rubble everywhere (they didn’t manage to get Ivy out of Robinson Park until Jan 2001)

He then does his world travel training trip… but is back in Gotham for September 2003 and Hush (and Tim’s 16th birthday).

Given Tim’s birthday is canonically on 19 July, the longest Jason’s world training trip can be is 6 months, and is probably more like 3-4 months given the required futzing time either side.

Jason doesn’t legally turn 18 until March 2004 (Tec #790). He’s still almost certainly mentally 16 years old here. He’s arguably physically 17.5 here.

A set of preboot timeline facts from all of this that is hilarious (to me):-

Jason and Tim are mentally about the same age, given their canonical 23 month age gap by date of birth. Depending on how long a period Talia keeps Jason around as an amnesiac, Tim may actually be mentally older.

Yes. The Titans Tower fight was essentially two 16 year olds having a spat.

Kon, despite also having fun death times, is 100% mentally older than Jason for all periods, though they’re close to drawing even after Final Crisis. He’s probably close to physically the same age as Jason for a lot of the time up to Infinite Crisis.

Tim may actually have spent a similar amount of time training in Paris (between Robin I and some time during Legacy and the summer leading up to Cataclysm) as Jason did on his Lost Days world trip.

Anyone who questions how Tim can be one of the greatest bo staff fighters in the world when he’s working off the same time frame of intense training from masters as Jason is (and has a far more substantial training time with Bruce and Dick) is honestly discounting that Tim has more extensive vigilante experience than Jason does, particularly in terms of Gotham-focused skills.

Kon and Tim end up by Flashpoint as within a few months of each other in age.

[e-claire]

Misophonia sucks so fucking hard and no one anywhere ever wants to talk about it. Literally the only people I've ever had listen to me about my Misophonia are other people with Misophonia. So fuck it, Misophonia Awareness Post or something, I want to vent.

Allow me to describe what it is first for all the lucky people who aren't fucked over. Misophonia is likely an Audio-Processing Disorder (Potentially some form of Synesthesia) in which certain sounds trigger a fight or flight reaction. Trigger sounds can vary and sometimes after long term exposure it can create a reaction to the visuals associated with those sounds. It is possibly genetic, there is no known cause, there is no known treatment, there is only suffering and ways of generally kind of reducing that suffering. When I hear people chewing I am filled with a rage that can only be described as "Bordering on a primal desire to Kill." and there's nothing I can do about that. A family member or friend takes a bite of something crunchy and I have to sit there and exist with thoughts of pounding their fucking skull into paste with my bare god damn hands and then afterwards I have to go back to "being normal". I have to just pretend that didn't happen, I can't do anything with those emotions, I can't put them anywhere, I can't talk about them with anyone or gain any understanding or sympathy from others for having them.

When I see someone chewing food anymore it's borderline impossible for me to remain in the room with them for any more than a few seconds because the mere sight of them chewing makes me physically ill and inspires in me a sense of deep disgust and panic that I could never ever hope to describe.

I tell people about what it's like and I get one of four reactions :

"Oh I think I have that too" With a weird amount of curious excitement at the concept of having a fun new quirky thing to mention in conversations. This means that they don't have it, and they'll then proceed to list off a couple different things that literally no human being likes to hear and how much that thing "annoys them". This makes me want to kill myself.

"Wow, Yikes." Through a grimace. This means I was too open about how it makes me feel and they now think i'm a either a freak, liability, time bomb, or over-dramatic, and will do everything they can to avoid the subject in the future so that I can't make them uncomfortable. This makes me want to kill them AND myself.

Immediately eats something really loudly to set me off as a "joke". This means that they're an obnoxious piece of shit that I have to try my absolute hardest not to beat to death with my bare hands. This makes me want to kill them, if that wasn't already obvious.

"Oh. So that's what this is called." This means they have it, and we can both engage in a brief period of mutual trauma sharing that helps us know we're not alone, and that our curse is unfortunately shared with others. This makes us both somewhat melancholy, and kinda ruins the vibes until something fun happens.

And then we get into the "How do you make the pain stop", and good news! You can't. There is no way to make it stop. But you can make it hurt less with ✨Spending Unbearable Amounts of Cash✨

You can buy a billion different types of earplugs that will all do great at muting the world but always leave you incredibly unaware of the world around you and leave you fucked in-terms of listening to media.

You can buy normal headphones that will kind of work but never mute the world around you anywhere near enough and vaguely frustrate you constantly, but hey at least you're a bit more accessible! Try combining these with a combination of rain and static noise playing at all times in the background for an extra layer of silence :)

You can buy ANC headphones that cost infinitely too much money and are almost always built to break so that they can farm cash from you in repairs, but the ANC is so useful despite not working perfectly that you can't really exist without it so you're gonna spend 200+ dollars every couple years because you don't have a choice, and spend every single day 24/7 wearing hot heavy over-ear headphones! Use the Rain and Static Noise combo with this as well for the best ANC effect.

And inevitably, all of these options will give you hearing problems, potentially make you aware of new trigger sounds, and always leave you a step behind everyone else when a conversation happens. Pro-Tip : For when the sounds are really intrusive and you're on the verge of a breakdown, Combine ANC with Ear Plugs and the R&SN background audio to basically kill noise in it's entirety for a little while :)

AND NOW WE GET TO THE PART WHERE I SAY WHAT THE FUCK CAN YOU NORMIES DO TO MAKE OUR SUFFERING LESS FUCKING CONSTANT.

Listen to us. Don't ostracize us for experiencing emotions we can't control and don't mean or want to act on. If you can, try your best to do the trigger noises quietly, and try your best not to do the trigger visuals in-front of us. We know it's not something you can control entirely, but if you can make the effort to make our lives suck less, we'll really fucking appreciate it.

And if you try to get back at us during a fight by eating something really crunchy to abuse our disorder for your benefit, I swear to god I will hunt you down personally and subject you to the most violent and painful torture I can manage before killing you and hiding your body somewhere no one will ever find it so that your loved ones never have the closure of knowing if you died or if you're still somewhere out there. Thanks for reading even though I know you didn't because the length of this post is frankly unhinged and i'll probably only get like 2 likes at best.

[copperbadge]

Endeavor OTC game for ADHD

antidoteforreality

is it really different from a standard FPS game? I’m curious about it!

Hope it's okay that I popped this into its own post, I found I had a lot to say :D

Context from the earlier post: EndeavorOTC is a paid app based on EndeavorRX, which is a prescription game for kids with ADHD. RX is FDA-approved; OTC is the version that hasn't gone through FDA approval, but it's a fork of the same code. It's fairly repetitive but that's because it's a training module shaped like a game, not a game that happens to do training.

It's less of an FPS and more of an infinite runner, like Sonic Dash or Temple Run. You're in a little ship that flies along a waterway, and you're supposed to hit "energy fields" which help you speed up to catch a critter you're chasing. You can't control your speed; you tilt your device to swerve left or right to hit the energy fields, but that's it. This is the "Steering" skill.

Your other, simultaneous task is to shoot critters that jump out of the water at you, called "targeting". It's a misnomer since you don't tap ON the creatures, you just tap anywhere on the right side of the screen and it shoots them for you, no aim required. These critters come in three colors, and at the start of every mission they tell you only ONE color to shoot. If you shoot the wrong color or miss an energy field while steering, you slow down very slightly. The goal is to speed up so fast that you catch the critter you're chasing, which is, to be fair, quite challenging.

You aren't ever penalized, really; the critter sometimes gets away, but you get points for trying. You don't have "lives", but you are time-limited -- once you've played for 25 minutes (a "dose"), the game locks down for the rest of the day. Something I REALLY like is that once you've paid the subscription price there's nothing else to buy: no ads to watch for bonuses, no microtransactions, no loot crates. You can earn coin to buy different outfits for your avatar, but that's it, and you can't buy coin, you just get a set amount per day for completing the dose. Every 15 missions or so, your ability to steer-target is evaluated and your score adjusted, which lets you know how you're progressing in terms of treatment, rather than skill at the game. You're supposed to play at least five days a week for six weeks as an initial treatment.

The reason I was willing to give it a shot was that the "targeting" aspect is based on the Go/No-Go Task, which is a legit tool they use in ADHD testing, and the aspect of the test I bombed the hardest when I was evaluated. Ongoing Go/No-Go task training has been shown in some research to help emotional regulation, although it's cognitive and not mindfulness. Overall the game is meant to improve focus but it was the Go/No-Go aspect that I found most compelling as a reason to try.

It's not cheap; you can get a 7-day trial but only if you pre-emptively subscribe, and if you don't cancel the subscription at the end of the 7 days you are charged $130, which I admit is a sneaky move to pull on a population not known for remembering to cancel subscriptions. The first thing I did after signing up was go to google play and cancel the subscription -- I still got to keep the trial -- but honestly when my trial is up I'll probably subscribe, it's a fun little game and I'm willing to risk the money to see if it helps (but I'm also in a position to spend $130 "just to see"). You can also do month-to-month for $25 but obviously the $130 yearly sub is much cheaper in the long run.

I've seen a wide variety of reactions to it, from delight to frustration, although a lot of the frustration seems to be from people who are more accustomed to intense gaming and are treating it like a video game and not a training tool. I'll keep you guys posted on how it goes.

[jazzyquarterblugs]

𝐏𝐏𝐓𝐉: 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

Time to show ya'll the Altercanons for The Smiling Critters!! :D

(I have already looong posted them on my twitter but again for the Tumblr peeps I will post them here! :3)

From Oldest to Youngest!

Enjoy!

Bubba Bubbaphant!

The smart and probably the most mentally stable one out of the bunch (more on that later-) being the oldest isn't really easy when you've got 7 younger friends most of which love to go on rowdy fun adventures, nonetheless he is always with them every step of the way whenever he can! (Mostly because he needs to keep them from accidentally getting themselves killed 💀)

His Talent

Bubba is capable of creating balls of light and is able to change the intesity of light sources around him, in combat he can create lightbulb shaped items and throw them at to flashbang opponents, disorienting them and giving him the advantage, though this uses up his own energy and so he needs to think carefully about how many he creates, or else he will likely pass out.

KickinChicken!

The self-proclaimed cool guy of the critters. An daredevil who's always put looking for ways to have a lil fun, all the while making Bubba slowly lose his patience 😅 even though he may come off as an arrogant jerk to others, Kickin actually cares a lot about his friends and others more than he likes to admit! Just don't get on his nerves or he will make your life a living hell whenever given the chance!

His Talent

He can whip out three items of his choosing, whether it'd be a simple screwdriver or a flat out atomic bomb, all of which seem to follow a common theme 💀 though he is only lmited to three wishes and after using them all up he'd have to wait for an one hour cooldown before he can create more items again.

CatNap!

Not a very talkative critter, neither is he really stable in ANY WAY to begin with, he went suddenly missing once for 3 whole weeks and came back never the same, for 9 whole months has he never ate, drank or even slept, and it's only a matter of time before one day he finally collapses in on himself...

His...Talent???...

He is able create sleep-inducing red smoke, making whoever is nearby inhale it and fall into a Deep Sleep... (it doesn't kill them dn)

DogDay!

The leader of The Smiling Critters! And CatNap's best friend! This lovely sunshine is always ready for an adventure and bring a smile to everyone's faces no matter who they are! He is always standing up for what's right, willing to put his friends before himself.

His Talent?

His body glows a range of red to yellow whenever experiencing intense emotions, the hue and the temperature of his body depending on how intense the feeling is, if it is too intense his body is capable of burning the skin off of anybody who attempts to touch him.

PickyPiggy!

The nature-loving and diet obsessed one of the group, she absolutely loves the wonders of mother nature, even owning an vegetable garden herself! She loves to eat but always makes sure she stays healthy when doing so! Though sometimes she is so entranced by eating food that she often forgets to keep up with the others and finds herself confused, she always feels like she has an reputation to uphold considering her father is a well-known cook in Critterville, to make things even less easy she has 12 younger brothers to take care of!

Her Talent

She is able to take and storage items within an infinite pocket dimension like a personal inventory in her pockets, though she needs to have actualy pockets for this to work, luckily she knows how to sew!

Hoppy Hopscotch!

The physically active one of the group! And DogDay's beloved little sister! This rambunctious lil rabbit is willing to take on a challenge if it means having fun! Though she is really accident prone so she often gets herself hurt! (Pretty frequently actually-) but even so she doesn't know how to back down! While impatient and loud, she is happy to protect her friends from danger!

CraftyCorn!

The shy and soft-spoken one! She's pretty timid but has an incredible creative side to her! She loves to create all kinds of art but most specifically loves to draw! Even though she may not have had the best first start of her life, but after moving into Bubba's home and becoming part of The Smiling Critters, she realizes she feels right at home.

Her Talent

She is able to mend and shape paint however and whatever she wants it to be! Whether it is colorful wings of freedom or another way to paint, she needs to have paint at her disposal though.

She is also capable of magic of her own! But due to her previous living conditions she was never able to tap into her gift and discover the wonders of unicorn magic all that much, though luckily Bubba has enrolled her to equestrian classes to help her with that problem! <)

Bobby Bearhug!

The sweetest and youngest one out of the group! She was found alone outside near the Critters' treehouse, ever since then Bubba has taken her under his wing and has been taking care of her since, it is unknown what happened to her parents it has been assumed that they had just abandoned her.

Her Talent

She is able to sense the true intentions of a person's heart, helping her know who is worthy of trust or not, she is also able to sense the emotions of an individual though this can be physically and even mentally exhausting, making her needing to take frequent naps to gain her energy back.

Aaaand that is all I have for today!

I hoped you enjoy these Altercanons and if you have any questions regarding them or this AU feel free to ask in my ask box! :3

(repeat users are okay btw!)

[foccaccia]

no pokemon game will ever come close to beating pokemon colosseum

set in the deserts of pokemon-arizona

playable character, Wes, is a criminal who opens the game by stealing valuable tech, and then riding off into the sunset on his mad max motorbike while the bombs he left in an occupied building destroy it to rubble

you don't catch wild pokemon. instead, with the help of a kidnapped psychic, you steal pokemon from other people. you just throw pokeballs at other peoples pokemon during battle and then leave with their pokemon. how are they going to stop you? with what pokemon? your city now, bitch

the villains in this game have been torturing pokemon to insanity. you have to therapy these pokemon back to health by... forcing them to fight for you.

the music. look up pyrite town theme right fucking now.

miror b........

there's an entire underground bladerunner-esque city hidden from almost everyone. it contains a gang of independent child criminal hackers who do far more to help you than the cops.

i just love the wild west/high tech mashup vibe. its sUCH a choice aesthetic.

DOUBLE BATTLES ONLY

wes the hardened badass edgy criminal and his two main pokemon, espeon and umbreon, a pair of cute dogs who love him so so so so much

the battle system in this game is choice.

because there aren't wild pokemon or random battles, and you can only steal certain pokemon, you actually have really limited options for battles. you'd think this would be annoying, but i really enjoyed it - its a very good foil to the other pokemon games where you have infinite possibilities. it forces a casual player to strategize a lot harder.

especially if you're trying to heal all the shadow pokemon - you have to use pokemon in battle you never normally would have.

this is such an old game, iirc one of the first 3D pokemon games ever? and the graphics are understandably clunky, but even then there is so much heart and care put into it that it doesnt feel outdated, just heavily stylized.

EVERY POKEMON has unique animations that are just so much fun and really shine in the battles. especially their K.O. animations. its just so much fun. modern pokemon, take notes

[anteroom-of-death]

Unnecessary Evil

Synopsis: What was going on in the Doctor's mind when he escaped the Confession Dial? At what limits did he let his mind wander to? What prompted his redemption?

A/N: it's so fun playing with characters that don't have concepts of human morality. Warnings for general darkness and such.

Coming out of Hell, his ears rang like a bomb detonated in his general vicinity. Deafening. Blood-draining. The paranoia seeping in. Both of his hearts shot cold.

He turned to face wherever he was.

Of course! His own traitorous, ungrateful race. Of course! Jealous and naturally unambiguous, these demented fools, ever so committed to his demise. At the cost of her.

Never satisfied. Even after he, all of him, bailed them out of the War. It probably caved in their illusions of dignity. Saved by one of the ones they cleaved into rejecting. Useless unless used…

He craved to reach into the chest of whoever was responsible, and crush their hearts. Probably Rassilon. Or that general who called him mad, even as he held the fate of their entire survival in this hands. Mangle theirs as his had been. He craved to beat them as bloody as he was in that dial. (Although, the blood draining from him each time took on new levels of pleasure in her absence.) He felt more animal than Time Lord, all fried nerves and the lust to take his teeth and tear into their jugulars. Every single last of the arrogant high-born class he had the displeasure of being born into. Watch them regenerate helplessly as he ran their lives out.

No plan, yet.

And violence on this level would disappoint her. His beautiful Clara, her rage would never cease if he saved her after he slaughtered every single last one of them.

He had to do a cleaner job for her sake.

The image of wanting to reach his hands into their bleeding chests still gave him a rush. A just cause- a million lives for one…he had done it before.

What did he call himself once? The Time Lord Victorious.

Yeah, he could do that once more. Being the only one of his kind seemed delicious at the moment.

Even the Gallifreyans that weren’t a part of the Time Lords would benefit. Lives under such disgusting and pathetic ponces would be better off erased from the count of the universe. The elite grew fat off pretense while everyone else starved- where they could still breathe, his Clara lay dead in the long-forgotten past on Trap Street.

A past that the High Council and him remembered. That stupid little human he regretted saving had probably blotted her from her bratty memory. All of Clara’s loved ones lay dead and drained of existence.

All but erased.

It sucked the air from his lungs and felt like glass had waded its way into his guts.

To forget Clara Oswald, in her infinite sass, her boundless character, her goodness? A sin worse than any recorded by any faith imagined by any weaker mind. How nobly she had gone off to die! Without him.

How he regretted not going to her, to hold her warm, little hand as she breathed her last. Not alone, die in her place or even die right with her? To lay in his final death beside her? To lie in the cold ground of Earth right beside her? Silent bliss. What he was owed.

Another sin.

A necessary evil to blot out an inexcusable one? He already knew he wasn’t a good man. He’d long since established that within himself.

He wouldn’t grieve for her, he’d go to her. Save her. Fix this. Burn this planet and all its people out of existence.

A plan began to form.

Alone with all he stood for draining out of him. He needed new clothes. Nothing she would call Doctor-y or enjoy.

Doctor no more.

Of course the wee folk, the ones that truly recognized his sacrifice over the years would welcome him, and they did.

The hospitality was worlds-class as he laid himself down and rage took over.

Of course, the first thing these parasites did was threaten them to get at him. Weak, parasitic creatures. Getting an immortal earthling to bring him to heel?

One line was drawn in the sand.

He crossed another line.

Rassilon had all of time now to run terrified of him, terrified of what the bastard son of these Time Lords may do to him. His hearts could stop in fear every time he saw a shadow. His brain may eat at him in agony of it all. Maybe he’d become a sacrifice to a mad Dalek or even worse, some foe of the Time Lords that they blotted out of reach and memory.

Maybe he’d chase him down. Nowhere to run, just get it over. Dispatch him as cleanly and get it over as quickly as that man ordered the death of her. The Lord President, frozen in fear as he realized that he had no way out, no place to run. Not even a scream escaping his lips as he died like a fox torn by beagles.

Good.

That image felt good.

He found himself the new President, control slipping as he sat around as they quizzed him on the stupid myth of a hybrid. The ludicrous rumor of something half Time Lord- half Dalek…

He couldn’t lie to himself; the windows and walls would benefit from a coat of every single one of these aristocrat’s blood as paint. This body loved to draw and paint. He could even draw his beloved Clara’s face (even though he always had trouble with faces and found it difficult to memorize even his favorite face, hers…) in exquisite detail. Then he could drag the rest of the Time Lords up here and make them apologize to her as he dispatched them.

A slow genocide…

Every single time someone called him by his chosen name, he recoiled. The Doctor was someone Clara could count on. Some title that felt more natural off her tongue. Someone, something that belonged to her.

Who was he now? Was he that Valeyard, whom he would become eventually? Possibly. He didn’t feel there yet. The name didn’t feel remotely natural. He’d have to find a new one to bridge the gap between the Doctor and the Valeyard…

The Sisterhood of Karn stood there as his world divided. Useless. Saccharine. Pretending to play both sides.

There were places in the cosmos where they’d fetch pretty prices. Maybe he could sell them? He had no use for money, but their faces as he sold them to people who’d ruin them in body, mind and spirit would please him. Perhaps he’d purchase the services and watch them flounder in service to him…

The white-hot rage burned through him. All but purifying his mind and detaching himself from the table in which he sat.

So he sat, trying to figure out a new plan, a new name, a new anything. Something to rid him of this guilt, he felt a tug at his gut and an image blind his mind.

Her face.

His Clara’s face. Finally clear, despite this current body’s inability to process faces. Radiant as the day he lost her.

Unlined, except for crinkles around her eyes just beginning to form. Brought on by years of laughter and smiling at him when he managed to save everyone and everything. The little furrow that would smooth itself out after a few hours she’d get when she was deep in thought or grading papers aboard the TARDIS. All these effete elite’s faces had lines from regeneration and ageing into their bodies.

Clara was cut off before she would go grey, before she could wrinkle. Before he could add more lines to her face with smiles and proposals. He was thinking of making their life together official, in a way close to her species. He’d give her anything, a wedding, a million little Clara’s totting around the TARDIS, as bossy and good as their mother, adventures to all of time and space…

Anything. She was what was best of him.

She stopped him from teetering into the entrance of this body’s darkness and preoccupied with morality. She made him good when he didn’t know if he was good.

She wouldn’t want him like this.

Clara wouldn’t want him to be this.

Could he do this? Save her and remain the Doctor?

Did he want to do this?

Could he want this?

The images of what he could do or have done to his entire traitorous race still brought him glee. Glee and pleasure. He still wanted them to pay. He wanted them to feel a single grain of sand compared to the desert of pain he felt. He knew it was sadistic, but he'd been sadistic before. The thin, young, freckly man with the dark eyes and brown hair was certainly a sadist. So was the broad one with the curly blonde hair and a penchant for cat pins and sarcasm. Certainly, his first body was. Before Susan taught him to bleed it out of him. That little blonde bastard enjoyed killing Torvic for Koschei. He enjoyed the god-like feeling that killing someone with your bare hands gave from the very beginning.

Why did this form of sadism feel remotely different?

Options and his plans that started to form became colored with her of course! Clara wouldn’t enjoy his sadism.

Wasn’t he the smartest an most exemplary of then all? He could have his cake and eat it to. If he wanted. He could be sadistic and good too.

Many things can be true at once, he reasoned with himself.

Clara wanted him good.

He could be good for her.

He could bury these past mad days behind him and focus on that. Follow her orders.

He was in obeisance only to her. Even Missy knew. Missy even enjoyed it.

A plan snapped into place. He knew what needed done.

The image of Clara in a woven wedding dress slashed out of his mind’s eye. If he were to save her, he’d never get to offer himself to her on bended knee. Never get to hear her laugh or insults again, or that soft warm slightly-tanned hand in his large pale cold one. Her stomach round and tight with child…

He mourned the infants they should have had. Cradles sadly empty, tombs gladly never filled…

He prayed for love and his mortal dreams now dashed. Prayed to her, his Clara. His life never realized. Her life only a quarter-lived.

Their lives together, cut dreadfully short.

No more yesterday’s or tomorrow’s…

He set out and went to make her happen, to make her happy and alive.

Maybe that would be good enough, to echo her alive like her echoes did theirs. Not ideal, but just enough to give her a chance.

That was the man that he’d want to be for her. Good, or at least trying his best to not be, and not totally stained with the reality of what he was. What she refused to see. What she formed him to be. Different that he should be.

Her perfect Doctor.

And thus, the Doctor was reborn once more…

[theplottdump]

Poppy: 𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗟. This has all been fun and harrowing. And you both seem like you're having a great time.

𝙎𝙊 if no one needs me, or wants to listen to explicit details about all the cool shit I just did- I'm just gonna pop out real quick and grab something from the car.

M: Uh, yeah. Don't worry about us. Go have fun.

M: I think 005 and I are just gonna hang out here a little bit longer if that's okay.

M: Alright, your turn to pick a question. Vera: Okay okay! Give me a second - I'm going to think of a 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘢𝘢𝘢𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 good one.

M: 𝟭𝟬 - 𝟵 - 𝟴 - Vera: Stop you're making me nervous! M: You can handle an actual bomb counting down but I make you nervous!? C'mon!

Vera: Alright I got it- I got it. What is your most 𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝘆?

M: Pffft Easy. You know how I was home-schooled right? Well my parents were both college professors. When I was 16 they practically forced me to enroll at Foxbury. Vera: 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺-

M: Well there I was- microwaving frozen mac and cheese in my dorm room, thinking to myself how stupid this all was and how much smarter I was than all the other freshmen - when I started to smell something 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙚𝙧 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨.

M: The whole time I was thinking about how much smarter I was than everyone else I had been microwaving expired mac and cheese!

Sixteen year old Maya in their infinite genius had forgotten to check the stupid expiration date on the box.

M: The whole dorm floor smelled like hot mold for a week. I ended up dropping out and got a much needed ego check.

Vera: I never went to university, UNIT pulled me right out of Secondary. M: Trust me, you didn't miss much.

Alright, your turn. Most embarrassing memory - 𝙜𝙤.

Vera: 𝘔𝘮𝘮𝘮 - That's a hard one. How to pick just one? M: You're stalling- I can tell you're stalling. Vera: No you can't shh.

Vera: 𝙊𝙝! 𝘖𝘩𝘮𝘺𝘨𝘰𝘴𝘩 - Of course! I've got a really good one for you. You remember the last Holiday Party we had at the office right?

M: 𝘠𝘦𝘢𝘩...

Vera: Do you remember how I got 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 drunk?

M: Seriously? How could I forget? You and 012 were tearing it up on the Karaoke machine all night. (🎄)

M: Plus I'm pretty sure Poppy snuck something into the punch.

Vera: Seriously? In retrospect that makes - 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦. Well uh- do you remember what happened after that?

M: Uhm, 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙝- yeah, I do.