Title: Not Another Statistic
Author: Nena-96, Nena96 on ao3
Selected Trope: Muggle AU
Brief Summary: After hearing four dreadful words, Hermione’s world had been turned upside down. The voices in her head mock her relentlessly, how could her body betray her? How is she ever going to go on? Was this a sign that motherhood turned its back on her? Most of all….why did it happen to her?
However, those demon-like voices are miraculously put to silence the moment she meets a nurse with the most captivating blue eyes that she’s ever seen. Nurse Ron Weasley, when she visits St. Mungo’s Women’s Health Center.
Word Count: 1,727 (multi-chapter)
Any relevant triggers: Miscarriage, Infertility issues
(A/N this dedicated to a nurse who helped me tremendously and I always think of her. Also, inspired by TSwift’s song Bigger Than The Whole Sky)
Chapter 1: No Heartbeat
“No words appear before me in the aftermath
Salt streams out my eyes and into my ears…”
🔹🔹🔹🔹
Laying on the hospital bed, Hermione stares at the paintings that cover the ceiling. She absolutely hates how the stick figures of children playing in the park, mocked her. How could an innocent painting cause such pain? Well, it’s simple, it felt as though fate was mocking her with something she couldn’t have. Something that was stolen from her, then again how can it be stolen if it was never hers to begin with?
As the time ticked past, all Hermione could do was wait, until the nurse brought her the discharge papers. Then she’ll be able to go back home and wallow in her own sorrow. It wasn’t anything she could do to change her fate, even if magic was real she doubted it could take the pain out of her heart. No, it wasn’t possible at all…it felt as if a magical dagger was thrown and hit
It’s ludicrous, knowing that she came into the emergency room because of stomach pain. Then after waiting roughly an hour and a half, to be seen and taken to a room. After roughly ten minutes, she was given the news that her wretched body had betrayed her.
Sorry there’s no heartbeat.
Hearing those words was nothing compared to what was said next, six weeks.
It was six weeks.
It was forty-two days.
It was her personal hell.
For someone who could talk a mile a minute, Hermione had no words to say, it was as if every vocabulary word she knew was completely wiped away from her mind.
No words, just tortured thoughts. Just an ache in her heart that she will never overcome, no matter the days, months or even years that pass.
She wondered how long it would take the nurses to come back with her discharge papers, she wanted to leave. Yet, it seemed like everyone were taking their sweet time, while she dies on the inside. Things shouldn't have happened this way, the empty seat a few feet away from the bed shouldn't be empty. Yet, that's what happens when she makes a mistake and having a night of rendezvous with someone she meet at the dental gala that her parents were invited to. It was too good to be true, he was the perfect gentleman that night but he didn't have the capability of staying the next morning. Neither, did he explain that he was married, oh no...she found that out after receiving a phone call one morning that almost made her lose all hearing in her right ear.
How could she have been so careless that night, if only there was a way to back in time and prevented herself from going home with that junior dental assistant. Then she wouldn't be all alone, fighting the voices in her heard that's mocking her and laughing at her pain. She would be at home preparing Crookshanks' dinner for the night, instead of listening to the annoying beeping of the monitors around her.
Not having to wear a light blue and purple stripped hospital gown, all alone in a room that felt as if the walls were ready to close in on her at any given second.
Instead fate had decided to make a move and completely turn her world upside down.
Yes, she could always call her parents and let them know what's going on, but two things were stopping her from acting on that urge to hear their voices. The first reason, is her parents had just left on vacation to Australia a few days ago, and the second reason was simply not seeing the disappointment in their faces when she tells them she failed.
That...somehow motherhood gave one long look at her and said, nope she isn't dignified to hold the title as a mum. How could her body betray her in this fashion? Yes, she'll admit that motherhood wasn't in her plans for another few years, since she's trying her best to...to what actually? Keep a job, no..she already has a job that pays her well enough to buy all the things that she needs. So, what exactly was she waiting for?
It wasn't like she was a struggling college student that was barely making it through take-away meals.While constantly having going to the cafeteria to "borrow" utensils and plates because the closest store was an hour away from the campus. She wasn't irresponsible, so why couldn't the gentle arms of motherhood welcome her into a warm embrace? It didn't make sense at all-
Light tapping on glass of the sliding door, causes Hermione to break away from her thoughts as she turns her head. Dr. Slughorn was waiting on the other side of the door and gesture for her from if it's fine to enter the room. She only nodded and watched as slid open the door and walked into the room."Excuse me, Miss. Granger, sorry for the long wait. We're a bit short staffed, but here's your discharge papers, we recommend making an appointment. I've heard that St. Mungo's has an excellent Women's Health..."
As the Dr. Slughorn trailed off with praise of another clinic, Hermione simply felt as if everything was just white noise. It didn't seem real, even though she was staring at the papers that the doctor had given her...it just wasn't real. It couldn't be real, oh how she wished this was a cruel nightmare, in which she can wake up from. Yet, the words that graced the paper in her hands was the cold-hard truth that this was her painful reality.
She traced the words on the papers that held the horrid truth that was her reality.
After Visit Summary Hogwarts Emergency Center
Hermione Jean Granger
Reason for Visit: Miscarriage at 6 weeks
Hermione stared at the discharge summary in hatred and disgust, she couldn't stop herself from seeing the words that emphasized how her body had kept a secret from her for six weeks.
Six fucking weeks.
She sniffled and noticed how droplets of her tears began to fall, soon enough there were far too many splotches of water that now decorated the documents. She tried to keep herself from choking out a sob, yet it was proving to be far too difficult. Her world was spinning and the voices in her head, mixed with the aggravating sound of Dr. Slughorn's voice was causing her to get an headache.
This wasn't how her discharge papers should've been, she only came to Hogwarts ER, because of cramping...not....because of this.
At least you're young
A disgusting thought poisoned her mind, while mocking her with loud and obnoxious laugh. Wait wait...that wasn't her thoughts, nor was that even how she laughed. Those words came from Dr. Slughorn.
Hermione clenched the papers in her hands and looked up at the man wearing a pristine white lab coat and a pair of stethoscope around his neck, as he continued talking almost as if she wasn't there. It was as if he was treating her as just another statistic in the world, just another whimsical women who has gotten her life thrown into an abyss of despair.
"I beg your pardon, what did you just say?' Hermione gritted out as she tried to restraint herself from yelling at the doctor in front of her.
"Oh, I was simply saying that make sure to set up an appointment and you are free to go," Dr. Slughorn said with the most aggravating smile she has ever seen in her life.
"No, before that. You said, 'at least you're young.' Hermione glared at him with such fury, that if looks could kill, Dr. Slughorn wouldn't be standing wearing that ridiculous smile on his face.
"Oh- well yes. I did, I just meant that since you are still relatively young-"
"Excuse me, but why the fuck does it even matter that I'm young? A loss is still a fucking loss, how can you even say that?" Hermione forced herself to say, as she watched the man's face turn bright red in embarrassment, it was as if he realized a little too late what was spoken.
"Oh- no, I-I erm, I'm sorry...let me, oh heavens, I just realized," he tried to check the time on his watch, except he wasn't wearing one at all. This made him become even more nervous than before, "I uhm, another patient needed something. If everything is alright, you are free to go, make sure to uhm... set up an appointment at St. Mungo's," and with that half-arsed response, Dr. Slughorn left the room quickly. Hermione watched as Slughorn walked quickly down the hallway and out of her peripheral vision, and once again she was alone.
Except now, instead of her mind taunting her, Hermione wonders if she was just another statistic in the medical world. If she was just another statistic of a women who lost before having the chance to even love. Another statistic in this cruel world filled with deception and atrocities.
Was she just another statistic?
Now instead of being known as Hermione Jean Granger, a dedicated librarian...she had simply become a statistic in the world. She had become just another, one out of four women who experience miscarriage.
No. She wouldn't allow that to happen, she wasn't just another statistic in the world, no... she's Hermione Granger. She's going to prove to idiots like Slughorn, and the world that she wasn't just another number, and with that Hermione grabbed her belongings and marched over to the sliding door. Flinging the door open with such force that the noise had caught the attention from the nurses at the circulation desk. Hermione watched as the nurses looked at her with pity, and she tried her best not to shed a single tear. No, not right now....she'll save her tears once she goes home and cries into Crookshanks bright ginger fur.
Instead, she raised her chin and ignored the stares and proceeded to walk down the hallway and soon enough out of the building. She's going to prove that she wasn't just another statistic in this world and she knew exactly what she was going to do.
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Here is my version of Gabriel!
POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: I talk about how human experimentation affected the following character.
Gubaszoriel is an earthly angel that greatly admires and respects the human spirit, the ability to dream and hold onto hope, and the noble will of Cosmos’ creation. She’s marked by benevolence and generosity, especially towards children, vulnerable people, friends, and respected colleagues. She’s gracefully loving to all angels and the brethren that have fallen, but acts sadistically sarcastic and indifferent to devils, demons, and imps. She’s compassionate, incredibly patient, and respectful towards people who are physically, mentally, and spiritually suffering. She tries her best to treat everyone with an equal amount of kindness, but does have her moments where she becomes irritable and inconsiderate. Once she has snapped, her irritability and lack of consideration is always directed towards people who are sinful for all of the wrong reasons. She handles children, animals, and people she genuinely cares about with tenderness, and is extremely faithful to her relationships and heavenly duties. She’s not afraid to sacrifice herself if it means that her loved ones and brethren will be protected, and gains a lot of respect due to her unselfish and morally good nature. She applies her wisdom during times of overcoming hardship and offering guidance, support, and solace to those who need it the most. Gubaszoriel is a charismatic advisor who can provide skillful assistance to resolve problems and a level-headed optimist that rarely views life through a pessimistic lens.
Even though she’s fairly humble, she has low self-confidence in herself, often doubting if she’s meant to be trusted with her messenger duties. She’s quite the perfectionist when organising her duties, souvenirs, stuffed animals, and antique cutlery and plates, and passing down important revelations to trusted individuals. She has severe trauma from undergoing brutal experiments that left her infertile and anxiety-ridden when interacting with cruel people. As a result of this trauma, she’ll become triggered if she hears mentions of pregnancy, looks at toys for young children, and encounters scientists, white coats, animal cruelty, and the brutal mistreatment of people. She has cacophobia (the fear of ugliness) and becomes slightly distressed when she looks at herself in the mirror because she views herself as being hideous. After the scientific experiments, Gubaszoriel stubbornly adheres to her life as an advising messenger and becomes a sort of unpredictable, yet cunning trickster. Despite having mild anxiety and being an occasional stress case, she’s fairly easy-going and has a noticeable absence of belligerence. It’s rare for her to become deadly serious and grim as she’s more inclined to put up a happy-go-lucky, rabbit-hearted goofball facade. She can calmly withstand and understand cynical, cunning, and sarcastic individuals, con-artists, and people with counterculture beliefs. When interacting with the aforementioned people, she remains friendly and wisecracking, but isn’t afraid to make fun of their manipulative nature and skewed perspective on life.
Gubaszoriel is about 7’ 10” (238.76 cm) and she has a triangular ectomorph with a slightly rounded belly, slim arms, semi-broad shoulders, a well-defined waist, and prominent thighs. Her skin is a snow-white with a reddish-black mole located near her philtrum and five russet solar lentigines: one below the underside of her ribcage; one in the middle of her right shoulder; one on the lower left abdominopelvic quadrant; one on the left side of her pelvis; and one on her right calf. She has eight fairly large wings with the plumage of a house sparrow, six sunburst lavender-amber eyes, and claws and talons that have a slight roundness to them. She has beautifully smooth, waist-length light ash brown hair with delicate curls, which is often decorated with white lilies and orange chrysanthemums. After experimentation, her feminine body became fairly androgynous and her once glossy rose lips turned into a metallic green. She has four rows of pearly white omnivorous teeth with prominent canines, her right second eye is a green gold with a scarlet pupil, and the left side of her hair is a vibrant copper. Her upper back and forearms are covered in trypophobic holes and bulbous sores that will never heal properly, which were the result of all of the needle injections she received. Crude silvery black stitches run along her spine as well as encircle her periumbilical region and the top of her abdomen. On the left, she has a jarring scar from the back of her ophthalmic nerve to above her right eyebrow. She also has a scar from the centre of her right splenius capitis to near the tip of her left sternocleidomastoid muscle. Her skin surrounding her chest cavity is pulled back by seven metallic hooks in a vague heart shape. It reveals translucent red flesh of agonised faces, blackened bones that are extremely durable, bruised lungs, an elephant’s heart, and a glowing spleen. Gubaszoriel’s secret bodily weakness or physical Achilles’ heel are the lymphatic system, celiac artery, and oblique fissures.
She wears an ankle-length chiton of dusty rose linen and a copper zoster around the waist adorned with dried evening primroses. She occasionally wears a mid-back chlamys of kingfisher blue wool that depicts an Ancient Greek-style merman wrestling with a rabid dog in black, gold, and red ochre. She dons nearly knee-length boots made from green leather, which is decorated with swans of pink pearls, citrine, and larimar. She wears a golden diadem with white peacock feathers encircling the top, a glittery black veil in the front, and an emerald green ribbon flowing from the back. She has a diaphanous hagoromo of pearlescent yellow cloth fluttering around her and a two-ringed halo of blue fire behind her head. Gubaszoriel’s forearms are covered in elbow-length tubes of shimmering green velvet that have wolf-fur bands on each end. Mikhazorsvel gifted her a large bib choker of alternating silver and grey-blue celestite beads ranging from 2 mm (0.0787 inches) to 12 mm (0.472 inches). He also gave her a rose quartz signet for her right ring finger and an orange calcite solitaire that she placed on her left middle finger. She carries around a gold-plated, silver caduceus-like spectre tipped with a lantern that has a lighted blue taper inside and a mirror of green jasper that only reflects what she used to look like.
It’s unknown what her true form really looks like, but people have described it as having a scary-looking, androgynous body of red beryl. Her face is like lightning with eyes of fiery torches and the brightness is so intense that it can instantly burn a mortal alive. She has twelve wings of pearlescent white tipped with soft blue, and her arms and feet shine like burnished bronze. She’s dressed in topaz-studded linen with a belt of fine gold around her waist, and her being is surrounded by the swift waters of Hridazoktegus.
Gubaszoriel can manipulate communication, the north wind, prophetic dreams, occurrences, truth, hope, kindness, and chastity. She has the power to announce the will of any titan and turn the leaves of trees considered sacred under benevolent deities into new souls. She has omni-communication and nigh-omniscience, but a few metaphysical and terrestrial concepts are mentally blocked. She’s a psychopomp that blesses sinners with a safe journey and has the authority to transport deceased individuals and Pnemazokhus towards their final destination. She can resurrect sinners to give them a second chance at life and righteous souls to successfully fulfill their duties in the living world. She received absolute change as a gift from the deities, and has supernatural concealment, endurance, and stamina. She has the strength to level an entire city with the tip of her wing, and can control the flow of water and the rotation of the moon. Her teleportation ability is limitless, and she can purify people cursed by sin and heal physical, mental, and spiritual wounds. After being experimented on, she can make perfect clones of herself that are filled with light, darkness, and/or nothingness. She can temporarily stop time when she desperately needs to calm down or a few minutes to think about something or analyse a situation she’s in. She can control the blood of deceased angels, mortals, and animals by using the branch of any tree as a conduit, which drains a lot of her life energy. When controlling blood, Gubaszoriel’s veins uncomfortably bulge out of her skin and spider lily tattoos adorn the entirety of her flesh until she’s done using that ability.
FAMILY:
Mikhazorsvel (supposed lover)
ALIASES/NICKNAMES:
Gabriel
Angel of Heralding Visions and Unquestionable Faith
Messenger of the Revelation
The Spirit of Holiness
The Faithful Horn
Strength of Justice
Willing Fire
FUN FACTS/EXTRA INFORMATION:
She’s omniromantic and non-binary
As an Æylphitus, her name means “god is my strong man”.
She’s the avatar of a chaste herald god
When in her true form, her voice sounds like a stampeding crowd and it can explode a mortal’s eardrums after hearing a single word.
She coined the term “white coats” to refer to the scientists of the Bureau of Researching and Securing Extramundane Curiosities (BRSEC), which is still used by the residents of Eylvhraszokjumni.
Mikhazorsvel uses her as emotional support and to satisfy his lustful urges
Whenever her low-back pain is acting up, she asks Usraphoniel to give her a well-kneaded massage and herbal medicine that can treat her soreness.
She’s good at naming things
She likes to write down her negative thoughts and positive memories in ancient papyrus scrolls that are scattered about in her office library at home.
She originally didn’t want to join the divine council, but Usraphoniel managed to convince her by telling her that their actions are all focused on maintaining the equilibrium of morality.
Her favourite flowers are the chamomile, jasmine, mallow, evening primrose, and all white flora.
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