#infantilizing shit

[a-polite-melody]

“Transandrophobia isn’t an actual unique experience!”

Losing the ability to have an abortion in places where abortion is still legal, specifically because of an ‘M’ on documents is experienced by all trans people I guess.

Losing access to gynaecological care because of an ‘M’ on documents is experienced by every trans person.

People no longer wanting to be part of your support system anymore as you get further into transition specifically because you’re “getting too manly” is a ‘default trans experience’.

“But trans women also struggle with medical transphobia and their support systems leaving them during transition!!”

Yeah, and no one is denying that. However the specific examples I gave of medical transphobia and support systems leaving are just that—specific. Yes all trans people face a lot of the same general problems, but those problems manifest differently depending on a number of different things, but one big one is actual gender, and the perceived gender being transitioned away from.

And there’s nothing wrong with talking about the broad strokes of transphobia. But there is equally nothing wrong with trans men and mascs wanting a word that lets them be more specific to speak specifically on their experiences. It’s actually good to have multiple words to be able to discuss all sorts of broader or more specific phenomena, who’d-a thought?

[athena5898]

I often think when people hear "infantilizing a group of people", they think of it literarily that we are actively being made a infant. While this is a part of it, I think people miss the subtle things that end up causing chasms in their relationships with that group of people.

It's actually hard to pinpoint because it's never a singular event, it's many tiny things but the end result is always "I am the authority, I will always know more then you, I will never take your advice, I will never be honest with you (you know to spare *your* feelings), any disagreement is your fault, any problem in your life is my cross to bear and you must follow how I tell you to fix it, I will never stoop myself to understanding what your needs are as X group and will view everything from my own lens and judge you accordingly, we are not equals, and we never will be. (This is not a exhausted list, nor will everyone have all the same traits)

It is very hard to connect with someone who just automatically assumes a higher status to you just because of something you can't change. All the while the offender thinks what they are doing is actually a good thing. They are somehow helping you by just assuming they are better then you (which in the end, that's kinda what this is).

I have a few people in my life that I care for a lot, but they are not that much older then me yet they act like I can't possibly understand them and automatically shove this "child" label on my forhead.

And here is the thing, they will voluntarily bring up why they think this if you pay attention. It might be trauma they've dealt with, it might be that they have kids and you don't, age, or anything else like this. However I think it's important to note that I have friends who do not talk down to me and respect me as my own person with autonomy and also have these things going on in their life. So it's not like it's impossible to treat someone with respect and have these differences.

Now what do some of these subtle differences look like? There are many ways they can materialize but to name a few.

- Demanding the person solves a problem their way despite the person telling them why their circumstances do not allow that.

- assuming...well anything and all the time. These people have a tendency to think they know exactly what you are feeling and other such things and if you try to correct them then they will actually get upset at you or show some type of passive aggressiveness.

-Speaking on your behalf without asking permission

-never valuing your expertise on any subject. They are older/more mature then you, therefore to them they know more about everything. What's really fun (/s) about this is when they will explain to you, why you are wrong, by repeating what you said back at you.

- any reason why you can't do a thing, or why you need an aide is an excuse. You could do it if you *really* wanted to, but you are just being lazy. Now the real adult has to take up your burden.

- they do not/cannot listen to you. No matter what you say or how you say it, or if they even confirm what you say, there is always a part of them that is not listening. Or hell, they could of listened to you, but since what you say isn't important to them, they will quickly forget it and may even try and claim you never said anything to them.

- I'm not sure if this counts as infantilizing, but I notice that it happens a lot in tandem. While they think less of you and treat you like a child whose facts and opinions don't matter, all of this will change at a moment's notice when they need something from you...oddly enough something they probably normally do not take seriously from you on a normal day. Suddenly thrusting you with this burden of taking care of them even though they are never there for you in any meaningful actually helpful way most of the time. Like you will literally be demanded to stop what you are doing, and get over whatever you are going through to help them and their problem. I cannot explain how frustrating it is to be demanded to be the mature one while most of the time being denied respect.

I could go on, but honestly if I sat here and thought of every single tiny thing they do to make sure there is distance between you and them up on their self made pedestals, I'd be here all day.

The worst part on all of this is that I have no idea how to resolve it. People who do this are not inherently bad people, hell they might not even realize they do it. But this can actually make it more difficult to bring to their attention. I have tried many ways and many different times to resolve this, but I haven't been successful yet. Anyone who has corrected themselves were people who just had a little mess up but still obviously viewed me as a person from the start.

These subtle ways someone can dehumanize you, it can cause terrible rifts and of course the other person never understands why (see point above about not listening)

I am writing this as a autistic person, but I know there are others who go through this. Please check the ways you create artificial authority over someone.

Edit: someone reblogged this with hashtags about how we shouldn't do this to children either and I completely agree, I was using the term because it's the one often used to explain these things. Adding the edit cause I have no idea how to respond to the hashtag thing and I think it's a important thing to note.

[marshmallowpuffcat]

It's not Ragatha's fault they're both the same size of small 🥺

[nyaagolor]

You know I didn’t realize after AA5/6 just how badly I needed a judicial assistant who was like. Respected and valued by their attorney. Seeing how highly Ryu thinks of Susato is such a breath air after so many variations of the Manzai duo vibes

In case 4 when Van Zieks insults her and Ryu IMMEDIATELY snaps back with “I consider her advice essential and her assistance invaluable. Please go ahead, Susato” he instantly became my favorite. Put some respect on her name

[that-disabled-princess]

I don't care who the fuck you are, unless you're a member of my medical team, you are not entitled to my medical information.

[marslovescars]

One more point I would like to say is that the conversation around Yuki's attitude is always one sided and honestly a bit racist.

When Yuki has a moment of anger, they'll say it's because he's a hothead or immature. When any of the white drivers, especially Max, has an outburst it's seen as passion for the sport.

I don't think that's fair and why that's brought up constantly when Yuki isn't even angry every race is beyond me. This race, to me, was justifiable anger on the poor strategy.

God forbid you have strong feelings about the thing you've been doing since you were 3 years old. And God forbid if you do that and not be white.

[eightspringdays]

People who infantilize autistic coded characters are the weakest link in society's chain.

How are you gonna look at this mf

And then tell me he's too uwu to do anything. Open your eyes, expand your brain; he thinks of the MCnasty too. Let him say fuck !!!!

[athina-blaine]

kabru's relationship with his eyes makes for suuuuuch a fantastic trans allegory (an aspect of your body alienating you from your community, being compelled to understand the perspective of someone who also has a complicated relationship with their body in the hopes that you'll better understand your own, people straight up misunderstanding biology) it makes me kind of insane because now I feel like I can't dig into any complicated feelings he might have about his body in relation to his gender without feeling like im just ... double dipping?? like fifjpejgh ryoko kui straight up already told that story in a way that exquisitely fucks??

[eyestrain-addict]

I'm thinking about how Louis and Claudia both make the same fatal mistake in Paris (in albeit different situations). Louis assumes Armand is different *cough* he ain't white he french [...] he's different *cough* but we all know this already, I mostly wanted to point out Claudia's fatal mistake. She says it herself "I want to meet one, just one other vampire who isn't a goddamn bastard!" Which, is kinda impossible, but Claudia doesn't know that yet. What Claudia doesn't yet understand completely is that vampires don't just prey on humans, they prey on the weak. Including other vampires. Neither Louis nor Claudia know this at this point in the show. Claudia also assumes that these vampires are different. Both Louis and Claudia are being lulled into a false sense of security and whats worse is that since their relationship is so strained at this point neither believes the other when the say 'X is bad news' (Don't ruin this for me! That doesn't sound like him)

I don't blame Claudia for choosing the coven, because I know from experience how cults and similar organizations operate. I just want to point this out because I feel like people are acting like either Louis is completely culpable, or that Claudia deserved what happens because she made a mistake. When frankly I think both takes are boring and if true, poor writing. I actually think characters should make bad choices and that making bad choices is often better than them always making good choices, or having no choices at all.

[irisfixation]

im autistic so if i fuck you until you're bleeding and crying and i don't stop it's just because im bad at reading context clues and you didn't make it clear enough. so you cant get mad at me ok

[blimbo-buddy]

Sorry I don't like Barley being the taller one in the relationship. He is quite literally, canonically, short and fat. On his wiki page, there are only two mistakes, the very first one being that he was called tall, solidifying that he is without a doubt a FUCKING MANLET

[c0rvidfagg0try]

The 9-1-1 fandom is so cisheteronormative despite being quite queer like,,, yall cannot handle anything that strays away from the most vanilla gay couple youve ever seen

[trans-leek-cookie]

i don't follow dungeon Meshi discussions closely and also haven't seen much in depth analysis of the marginalization of halflings specifically but I feel like the Infantilization aspect is focused on without acknowledging the ways they are often also Dehumanized (little weird considering the usage of "human" in the context of the story but I think it fits well enough). Like they are considered unskilled and immature due to their appearance + shorter relative lifespans, but also they are considered shady, used as literal bait (for sirens and succubi), and fucking disappeared when they come into contact with dangerous artifacts. Like both are significantly negative, but one is a bit more Obviously Violent in a way that I feel like is under discussed.

[whoblewboobear]

They’re not children, they’re Teenagers that live in a world and go to a school where violence and death are highly normalized.

However, underaged doesn’t excuse you from killing your fellow party member to sabotage other students. Being a “kid” doesn’t excuse you from pulling up to your teacher’s grave with a bulldozer to A. Force her hand to find you or B. Cease to exist if she doesn’t reward you for trying to disturb your final resting place. (IMO this is the most chilling and cruel thing KipCop has done that we know of. I paused the episode to breathe and calm down from this bc holy shit?) Kipperlily is old enough to understand right and wrong. She saw the rogue teacher loop hole as a badge of honor to be proud of. She is a teenager, she is not a baby or an infant or a child. She knew exactly what she was doing.

If we’re applying real logic to these fictional teenagers, real teenagers that commit horrific acts of violence or crimes get tried as adults because they were (usually) old enough and coherent enough to understand what they were doing. They were not babies that didn’t realize what they were doing.

If you are a minor and you do something violent and awful to another person or group of people, you don’t just automatically get to go “oh boy- b-but I’m just a child!” You have to face the consequences of your actions, it’s a massive part of growing up. That’s not something that just doesn’t kick in until you’re 18.

The bad kids are pretty much the same age as the rat grinders. They probably went to the same middle and elementary schools, were taught the same things when they /were/ children. In game, they were thrown in jail for their crimes in season 1. Aelwyn was taken to high elven prison. If Penelope or Dane weren’t killed, they sure as fuck would’ve been tried or worse too.

Like- I cannot tell, nor do I care enough to start checking accounts to see if adults or teenagers are making the “they’re just kids!!!!!!!!” Posts but I feel like I know where it skews. Either way, doesn’t matter. Do better. There’s a reason why children and teenagers are not lumped under the same age and developmental umbrella. There are differences.

Pretending that they’re innocent little babies so you can continue to love your villains guilt free or dumbing them down so it’s easier to defend them is a skill issue. Love your villains and all their nasty evil behavior with your whole chest.

[marsabillions]

all of you who headcanon pandora to apparently be like 8 years old mentally are some of the most annoying mfers on this side of the fandom. learn how to write women, weirdo

[paleshroom]

Does anyone else just… immediately cringe and nope out the second you read Stolas call Blitz by his very-much-unwanted petname over and over in fanworks? Unless it’s a part of his character development and something Blitz calls him out on - something he stops doing early on (as he does in canon) - I can’t continue reading whatever it is. It’s a major ooc flag that I just can’t ignore and it drives me up the wall.