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book-place · 1 year

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Freak

Warnings: maze runner series spoilers, mentions of death, let me know if I missed any :)

Pairings: Thomas x daughter reader

Request: Hi if requests are open I would like to request something for Maze Runner?? Can you please write a Thomas x daughter using the dialogue prompts 18, 20, 28 please? Ps I loved your Matt Murdock story!!!Thank you and 100% your choice

Request by: Anon

*not my gif*

Summary: Life might not have been necessarily kind to you or your father, but he would be there for you. Always.

A/N: This isn’t that good, but it’s also the first piece of writing I’ve posted in months so pls give me a break 😭- also I didn’t do one of the prompts bc it didn’t fit in, sorry!!

Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work

It had been six years.

Six years since the Gladers had made it out of that godforsaken maze. Six years since WCKED was taken down. Six years since they had found the safe haven.

Six years since Tereasa died. Leaving Thomas alone to raise you, their infant daughter.

Those six years, while nothing but a blessing- a gift of being out of that maze, being free of WCKED- have been years full of hardship.

Not all of it was hardship though, of course, Thomas loved you more than anything in the world. You were a miracle in his eyes.

But after having you, he thought that it would be him and Teresa raising you- together.

Sure, he had all of his friends- his family- to help him. They had done more for him- for you- then they would ever know, but it wasn’t the same.

You never had a mother, and you never knew the difference between having one or not.

There were other children that were about your age on the island, ones from families that had been taken in by Thomas and his friends and offered sanctuary.

So when you all weren’t in the school that was set up, you were all playing off together somewhere.

To Thomas’s knowledge, that’s where you were right now.

“Where’s the little pipsqueak?” A voice sounded from behind the man.

Thomas turned, finding Minho leaning against a wall behind him with his arms crossed lazily over his chest.

The man smiled lightly, leaning back on a desk behind him, “With the other kids, where else?”

Minho's eyebrows furrowed slightly, “The other kids? She’s not with them.”

Despite not having any idea what his friend was talking about, Thomas still felt his heart stutter and pause for a beat.

“What do you mean?” He asked lowly.

It had been six years without any problems that were anything like what they had experienced in the past, but that didn’t mean that Thomas ever forgot what it felt like, ever let go of the past.

Even though he might not look it, there was a part of him that was always on alert. Always tense. Waiting for something to happen.

Minho's face grew more concerned, “All the kids were playing at the bay, n/n wasn't with them. I came over because I wanted to see if she wanted to come help me make dessert with Frypan.”

The room was spinning. The lights were too bright. The air was too suffocating-

Thomas felt for a moment as though he couldn’t breathe.

In reality, it might not have been a big deal, you could’ve just wandered off to talk to Brenda or Gally, but your felt as though he was going into full on panic mode.

Too much had happened in his life, too much had been taken from him, too much had gone wrong.

You couldn’t be next. You couldn’t.

You were the only thing that kept him going after your mother died.

Immediately, Thomas pulled himself back together, and left the room, Minho following closely behind him.

The men fell into step side by side as their heads whipped around, eyes searching for any sign of you as they trekked through the built town of the safe haven.

Frypan emerged from his home, frowning slightly as he looked at the pair and raised his hand to shield his eyes from the sun, “What’s going on?” He called out.

“We don’t know where Y/n is.” Minho answered, Thomas too focused on looking to do so himself.

That was all it took for Fry to fall into step beside them too.

That’s how it went, house after house, until all of the surviving Gladers- plus Jorge and Brenda- were looking all over for you.

You were nowhere to be seen.

The sound of laughter made the groups ears all perk up as they turned to see the kids that had been down by the water running up, shoving each other slightly.

“Kids, have you seen Y/n?” Minho immediately asked.

Quickly, all of the children glanced at each other before shaking their heads back and forth so fast that it looked as though they were going to get whiplash.

The man’s eyes narrowed suspiciously at them, but before he could open his mouth to question them further, they rushed past him and to their respective houses.

The group of adults blinked at their retreating backs.

Thomas felt his heart tighten even more in his chest.

“She’s in the woods.” A small voice spoke up.

They all whipped back around to see one little girl still standing there, kicking her toe sheepishly at the ground.

That was all it took for Thomas to turn on his heel and barrel towards the cluster of trees just on the outskirts of all of the buildings.

His heart was hammering so loudly in his chest that he was sure the others, running a few feet behind him, could hear it loud and clear.

He ran and ran, dodging trees and narrowly missing bushes until a sound other than slamming footsteps reached his ears. It was so faint that he barely even heard it.

Sniffles.

Thomas pulled himself to a stop, peering around the tree in front of him, only to see you, with your legs pulled up to your chest and your back against a large rock, crying into your arms.

He heard the others come to a stop behind him, “Thanks, guys, I got it from here.” He whispered, not tearing his eyes away from you.

They were clearly just relieved that you were there, because they nodded and went back the way they came without a word.

“N/n?” Thomas’s voice was soft as he carefully approached, “Are you alright, sweetheart?”

Your head snapped up at the sound of your fathers voice and he felt as though his heart shattered into a thousand small pieces.

Not only was your hair tousled every which way, but your eyes were red and puffy and your cheeks were tear stained.

Quickly, you tried to wipe them away, but Thomas sank into a crouch in front of you and gently grabbed your hands, pulling them away from your face, “What’s wrong?” He asked gently, eyes scanning your face.

Your bottom lip wobbled despite your clear efforts to make it seem as though you were okay, a stubborn trait you no doubt got from him.

Gently, he moved a fallen strand of hair behind your ear.

That was all it took for you to start sobbing once more.

“The- the other kids-“ You stuttered out, hiccuping slightly, “They were being really- really mean. They said it was weird that I don’t have a mom- and- and that makes me a freak.”

The sadness in Thomas’s heart was quickly met with a sea of fiery rage.

“They said that to you?” It took every fiber of the man’s being to keep himself from clenching his fists and setting his jaw.

He knew from experience that if you were upset and he got angry- even if it wasn’t directed at you- it would just make things worse.

So instead of scooping you up and angrily marching to find those other kids and their parents, he sighed gently, “Honey, can I hug you?”

He also knew that it was better to ask, just in case you reacted negatively.

In response, you fell into his open arms and sobbed into his shirt.

“Shh,” He shushed you, combing his fingers through your hair, “Hey, don’t cry on me. They don’t deserve your tears.”

It took a while until you finally calmed down, reduced to hiccups and sniffles.

And Thomas held you until you did, rocking you gently as he comforted you to the best of his ability.

“Honey, listen to me.” He pulled back slightly so he could look you in the eyes, “You are not a freak. You are the kindest, sweetest, most funny girl I know. And if your mother was here, she would think so too.”

Your eyes lit up as you stared up at your father, “Really? You think so?”

He leaned forward and placed a kiss on your forehead, “I know so.” He promised, “Now, come on.” He lifted you so you were propped up against his hip, “I think Uncle Minho would like to bake with you and Fry while I go talk to those kids and their parents.”

Bloody Shanks 🧪- @jvdethirlwall @ineedmorefanfics2 @etanordoesbullsh1t @wolfmoonmusic

#platonic #platonic imagine #x reader #child reader #the maze runner #the maze runner x reader #tmr x reader #tmr fanfic #maze runner #maze runner x reader #tmr thomas #tmr thomas x reader #thomas x reader #thomas x daughter reader #daughter reader

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hanafubukki · 2 months

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“You’ll be okay. It’ll be alright.” Lilia shushed as if calming a child.

Lilia tightly held onto the figure before him, ignoring the crimson tainting his uniform.

“Healer! Get a healer to me now!”

“Heh. I haven’t seen you this panicked since Silver got sick as a babe.”

“You idiot! Save your energy!”

Lilia knew what Malleus was trying to do. He was trying to comfort him.

This fool! Who was he to try and console him when he lay in his arms bleeding!

“Lilia,” Malleus rasped, “Will you sing to me?”

Lilia stilled, hands trembling.

“I’ll…I’ll sing to you all you want after you’re healed.”

“Please?”

How could he say no? When was the last time Malleus had asked anything of him?

“A warm cradle~ Starlight and joy~”

Lilia barely acknowledged Divus Crewel kneeling by his side, reciting spells.

If he knew this would have happened, he wouldn’t have even thought to leave!

“My eyes are watching over you still, let’s be together~”

He just wanted to protect them! That’s all he ever wanted!

“Sleep, sleep, my beloved child~”

When did he stop hearing Malleus’s cries?

When?

“In dreams, I pray you would be guided to walk toward the light~”

A hand clasped his, a wavering smile through struggled breaths, “Thank you…Fa..th..”

“NO!” Lilia clutched Malleus closely to his chest as if to protect his own heart, “MALLEUS!”

Rocking the fae in his arms.

It was too silent.

He can’t hear the sound of an infant’s cries.

He’ll never hear it again.

Lilia sobs.

Something something how Malleus is gone and so is Lilia’s UM. The very essence/reflection of his soul and heart disappeared. The Cradle Afar no longer reachable nor its cries heard. 💔

I don’t know what to say 🫣 I went through some saved writing prompts and this happened 😅

This isn’t exactly the scene I had in my head but I think it’s good enough 💞🫶 slowly coming to the terms that the scenes won’t always fit exactly to what I have in my brain and that’s okay 🥹🥰

Meleanor’s Lullaby

#Hana queues #Cam if you see this…well the 2am demons won 😂🫡#lilia vanrouge #malleus draconia #diasomnia #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst malleus #twst lilia #twst malleus draconia #twst lilia vanrouge #twst angst #twst platonic #twst scenarios #twst drabbles #hurt and…kind of comfort?

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city-of-ladies · 1 month

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"The prominence of female divinity in Minoan culture might well have reflected the prominence of Minoan women in daily life. In Shang dynasty China, the authority of goddesses such as the Eastern and Western Mothers was echoed to some degree by the authority of women in elite society and even the army. Fu Jing and Fu Hao, wives of King Wu Ding, led men into battle before being honoured in death with monumental tombs containing the victims of human sacrifice, battle axes, knives and arrowheads. In Egypt, many of the images of Hatshepsut were destroyed or defaced after her death when her name was removed from the official list of rulers by her male successors, who sought to claim direct descent from her husband. It is possible that images of powerful Minoan women were subject to similar mistreatment.

While there is no evidence that Minoan women ruled in the same manner as Hatshepsut, or joined battle like the women of Shang China, the sheer number of artworks depicting them centrally placed and on a larger scale than men has prompted some historians to speculate that Minoan society was matriarchal or matrilineal. ‘Neopalatial Crete,’ writes one scholar, ‘presents the best candidate for a matriarchy – if one ever existed.’ There is nothing to say that the position of Minoan women was in any way secondary to that of men.

Minoan women were certainly not confined to the weaving room. Sculptures show them playing lyres, flutes and zithers, sashaying in flounced chevron-patterned skirts and raising their arms in the air in ecstasy. In the ‘Grandstand Fresco’ from Knossos the women are more carefully delineated in paint than the men. Each woman has her own identity, her own style. The women appear to occupy the main rooms of the palace while the men congregate as an anonymous mass beyond. Women depicted seated – a sign of divinity or authority – are often being approached by men or animals. A highly enigmatic fresco at Thera (Santorini), for example, features a woman wearing large hoop earrings, a snake in her hair, and a neck-chain of ducks, sitting on a dais with a griffin beside her while a blue monkey pays her court.

On a gold ring, a female deity, we may presume, is seated beneath a tree, where she receives flowers from two women. A smaller figure of a man with a double-headed axe over his head hovers between them. By depicting the man beneath the axe, and on a smaller scale than the women, the engraver of the ring perhaps hoped to convey that he was a divine vision, almost a thought-bubble, originating in one of the female worshipper’s heads. Trees, as Arthur Evans recognised, were sacred in Minoan culture, and were perhaps believed to be capable of inspiring divine visions in those who honoured them. Such artworks contribute to the picture of Minoan women exerting considerable religious authority in the palace complexes and society more widely.

Minoan women also played a crucial role in ritual. The early Minoans sometimes interred their dead twice by exhuming the bones of their family members and resettling them later in jars. The more usual custom, however, was to bury the dead in chamber tombs or stone beehive-shaped ‘tholos’ tombs, clay sarcophagi or, in the case of infants, under the floorboards of the home. The colourful paintings on a rare limestone sarcophagus from Hagia Triada, circa 1400 bc, show three men carrying young animals and a model boat to the deceased, who stands in front of his tomb, ready to receive his provisions for the afterlife. There are also three women present, the first of whom pours a libation into a cauldron placed between two upright axes mounted by birds; the second carries further vessels; the third – darker skinned like the men and thus possibly of lower social status – has a lyre. On the other side of the sarcophagus the women assist in the sacrifice of a bull on an altar. Other wall paintings show women involved in rituals of their own involving blood. A fresco from Akrotiri features a group of women, one of whom sits beside a sunken room or ‘lustral basin’ with a bleeding foot. A tree also bleeds. It is possible that lustral basins were used for purification by women during or after menstruation."

The Missing Thread: A Women's History of the Ancient World, Daisy Dunn

#history #women in history #women's history #historyedit #minoan women #minoan civilization #bronze age #crete #knossos #ancient history #ancient world #powerful women #historical figures

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static-radio-ao3 · 6 months

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@jegulus-microfic // march 18 // prompt: instrument // words: 758 // part two + part three

“What do you play?” James asks, voice muffled as he is digging through his laundry basket.

“Huh?”

“Instrument, I mean.” James turns to face him. His glasses are halfway down his nose and Regulus’ fingers twitch with the need to adjust them. James is annoyingly handsome. Even in the middle of the night when his hair is tousled and his glasses are smudged and he has baby formula on his ratty college shirt, tan skin glowing under the fluorescent lights of the basement laundry room.

“What do you play? We’ve been talking every night but I don’t even know what instrument you play. I hear you sometimes when I get home.”

“Shit, I'm sorry, I can try to keep it down.”

“No, please, I like it!” Another second of rummaging before James shuts the door to the machine, twists the dial and presses the start button. “It sounds nice. Harry likes it too.”

James checks the volume on the baby monitor again, making sure it is still turned all the way up. When he is sure it didn’t magically turn off in the minute since he checked last, he places it gingerly on the bench in the middle of the room, sitting down next to Regulus.

Their shoulders brush. His arm feels warm where it is pressed against James’, despite the frigid air in the basement.

“Ah, thank you. It's uh— violin. I'm at the conservatory for classical music.”

“You must be really hard-working, then.”

This pleases Regulus, satisfaction burrowing its way into his chest, making him preen a little. People always think he is talented.

Secretly, Regulus hates that word. He has never been talented. No particular skill that stood out — and his parents made sure he knew it.

So yes, Regulus is hard-working. Passionate. Stays up until 3 A.M. to practice, tucked away in the laundry room so he doesn’t wake Sirius in their tiny two-bedroom apartment.

That’s how this whole thing started. Regulus, resident insomniac, slipping out of bed with his violin tucked under his arm. James, still adjusting to the fact that his son is now sleeping through the night, doing chores on the wrong side of midnight.

“I have to be, if I want to be the best,” Regulus says.

“I’ll have to come see you play sometime, then.” James makes it sound like a give. Like it is something he is willing to make time for. Regulus’ heart flutters. Traitor, he whispers at it.

“Do you now?” His teeth tug at the dry skin on his lips, picking at it until he bleeds. Sirius always tells him off for it but it is a nervous habit he has yet to beat.

“Absolutely. If you’ll have me that is.”

A hurried yes almost bursts from him, but he traps it behind his teeth before he can actually say it. He tries to play it cool despite the heat in his face, a teasing tone as he says, “Maybe. Gotta see if you’re worth keeping around first.”

James laughs at that. Regulus thinks it sounds sweeter than his violin ever has.

“I’ll be such a good audience, I swear. I can make a career-switch. Go from sports reporting to music reporting.” Because James works for the local newspaper. Writes sports columns. Takes his son with him to football games, a tiny infant strapped to his chest. The mental image of James at a recital with baby Harry on his hip makes Regulus’ heart flutter again. “Would that be enough proof of my dedication?”

More fluttering. Traitor, traitor, traitor. Regulus pretends to ponder on it for a moment.

“It’ll do. For now.”

James scoffs. Rolls his eyes. “For now, he says.”

It sounds fond.

Neither of them says anything else but Regulus doesn’t mind it. His eyes are trained on the laundry machine with his clothes in it. He watches it spin and spin and spin. Lets himself get hypnotized by the repetitive motion, the quiet humming, James’ even breaths. It’s peaceful.

“Same time tomorrow?” Regulus asks when he has gathered all his laundry, the basket propped against his hip. He doesn’t miss the way James’ eyes droop with his nod. He chuckles softly at the sight. “Get some sleep, James.”

A mumbled, “Sweet dreams” follows him out of the room.

For once, Regulus is eager to fall asleep, only so he can see James again tomorrow.

It is only in the silent halls of the apartment building that he lets himself think that there is no sweeter dream than those moments they share.

#hello microfic enjoyers. daddy’s home.#(i mean me btw)#also i’m actually not home i am simply dropping this off before leaving again #sorrey #anyways uhhh tags #give it up for the laundry room romance!!#i just think they’d be so soft and sleepy but still trying to stay awake to talk to each other #and then slipping into their respective beds with a grin on their faces #regulus black #james potter #starchaser #jegulus #jegulus microfic #mil's microfics #mil's writing

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v3nusxsky · 1 month

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Can you write Morticia x Larissa x Reader where reader (0-3) (also a shapeshifter like Larissa and shifts when she regresses) is their wife/little and when reader regresses they take her to a pumpkin patch and come home and carve the pumpkin and just loads of fluff and cuteness, please?

Pumpkins day out

*authors note~ AND IM BACKKKKKK! hey y’all okay so this is small intro to being back activly posting now I feel my life is in somewhat order and let me tell you I’ve missed you guys sm. I’ve read every comment ask and dm of kind words and I’m so grateful for y’all being so patient with me! Let’s get it started, imma tweak this one ever so slightly but I just wanna say I love when you guys tell me what you want me to write next as it helps keep me focused and insuring you guys are getting content you want :)*

Trigger warnings~ Agere? Little fem shapeshifter r, mommy morticia, momma Larissa (everything that occurs has been spoken about when r is in her age appropriate head space)

Prompt~see ask^^^^^

(Banner to be added)

Distressed muffled whimpers carried themselves into the principals office alongside the pitter patter of tiny feet indicating your presence was imminent. The two occupants being your wives or rather care givers in this head space. It’s not uncommon for the two elder women to wake before you especially after your late night antics that resulted in you slipping off to sleep in sub space. It was almost routine for you to wake up in little space. Being a shifter allowed your body to lean into your headspace meaning they were almost always greeted by a darling little girl ranging from infant to toddler ages.

Like clockwork your little body came barrelling in through the mahogany doorway and straight into your mommy’s awaiting arms. Her long flowy onyx dress providing the perfect sensory input to help calm your little state. Her words dripping in smooth silk as she stood to full height swaying you gently in her arms as Larissa watched on with an adoring smile. Her two loves looking ever so naturally them always brought her a sense of peace she could never recreate no matter how much she tried.

The fall always created a beautiful almost picturesque landscape of the Nevermore grounds at this time of year. The chill of autumn air being a welcomed change from the blazing heat as Augusts final goodbye. Students of Nevermore spending their time acclimatising to dorm life, new schedules and a whole new academic year. Far too busy to notice what wholesome activities were occurring in the office.

“Momma” you sniffed effortlessly breaking the blonde out of her own thoughts. “Yes little pumpkin” she whispered before attacking your cheeks with sweet kisses. Your infectious giggles causing Tish to let a small smile grace her lips as she found the desired outfit for the day. “Mommy momma me go gets jack-o’-lantern from patch” your excitement practically vibrating from your small frame. “Oh is that so little love? It can’t be that time already can it?” She pretended to ponder, searching her very organised calendar for your initials scrawled in a beautiful heart shape.

“Mommy” you whimpered as Larissa still continued to not see what was so clearly labelled causing the raven haired woman to tut in response, “don’t tease my sweet girl Larissa darling” before easily scooping you up and giving the order to get ready for your yearly traditions. “Momma was teasing baby, we are going to find our pumpkins don’t you worry little pumpkin” Tish reassured before loudly whispering about visiting the weathervane without the blonde if she wanted to tease you.

Unsurprisingly, the whole drive you sleepily clung to morticia as Larissa drove you all to the best pumpkin patch around Jericho. Only when the car stopped did your excitement hit you once again full force. All the pretty colours and leaves being scattered all over the ground, all calling out for you to come and jump around in. “Mommy” you whined as you attempted to wriggle out of the seatbelt by yourself with no success. “Momma” you pouted causing Larissa to chuckle and help get you out of the car where you happily held both their hands. Little giggles filled the air as you crunched the leaves under your little boots, eyes gleaming with pure joy. Both women lost count of how many times you’d run, jump and kick the crunchy fall leaves. Each time a squeal of pure joy and excitement left your little body. It almost broke their hearts to have to refocus your adorable self on the task at hand.

Naturally you had managed to burn yourself out of energy after all the running, jumping, kicking and arguing about which pumpkin you all needed to get. The task of selecting the biggest pumpkin the patch had to offer had taken over two hours with more playful arguments and moments where you’d ran after a falling leaf insisting on catching it for Larissa and Mortica . Now you ended up snuggled into Morticia’s chest being carried to the car with tiny fists rubbing at your eyes as larissa hauled your chosen one to the car. By now the chilled air had Larissa wanting to frequent her favourite place besides Jericho. All the way to the weathervane you snoozed and the two women bantered back and forth about how wrong they were years ago. Larissa had never managed to lose the nickname of stately sequoia tree, morticia remaining the lumberjack and you their precious pumpkin. Hot chocolates secured the women had some how managed to succeed in moving you and the pumpkin into Larissa’s office before arranging the supplies you’d need when you awoke.

Your obsession recently had been black cats so it was easy for the women to find a cute yet Halloween appropriate stencil for you to use. Together they helped you carve and gut the pumpkin while laughing and loving on you. Your little heart filled with a type of joy that you never had as a child. The atmosphere and love was not something you’d had the pleasure to experience until them either. “Fanks best day ever momma mommy I wuvs you” you mumbled as all three of you admired the work of art.

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #anon requested #larissa weems #larissa weems x reader #principal larissa weems #weems #larissa x morticia x reader #Little!fem reader x Larissa x morticia #weems x reader Agere #morticia x reader Agere #Nevermore #morticia addams x reader #morticia x reader #morticia addams #larissa weems x morticia frump #v3nusxsky is backkkkkk

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heesdreamer · 2 years

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omg the mention of camping in your new heejake fic has me thinking of scenarios in a TENT why am i blushing gn

LOST TIME

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader (ex beomgyu x reader mentioned)

SUMMARY ➩ you and your bestfriends, growing up together since you were babies, had a tradition of going camping together every summer. this year you get paired up to share a tent with the boy you’ve been in love with since elementary.

WC ➩ 7.7k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ honestly this was meant to just be a straight up PWP work due to the request but i got way too into the friendship dynamics and backstory lol.. idk if any other writers relate but sometimes smut just doesn’t feel like it fits in stories but i hope you still like this and maybe ill write something more nsfw later on with this prompt (not proofread and written at like 6am like always lol)

It wasn’t like camping was something you absolutely hated. In fact, for the first 20 years of your life it had been the single thing you looked forward to most throughout the busy year.

At some point it had developed into a promised tradition, an accidental hobby that you and your friend’s coincidentally carried on all throughout your shared childhood and high school.

Your parents had all grown up together too and lived on the same street once they were old enough to start their own families, keeping their tight knit connections and extending it to their partners and children later on in life. You grew up with a community because of this, your neighbors being people you’d spent your entire life around as they were basically family now.

It wasn’t a surprise to any of your parents and their friends families when they all also had kids around the same time, the biggest gap between babies being just over 4 years.

This was how your best friends came to be, as smooth and naturally as gaining a sibling or meeting a soulmate. You grew up surrounded with the same kids, going to the same school and spending holidays together at one of the houses on the shared culdesac.

The camping tradition was started before you even could register what was happening, photos of your parents lined up in bathing suits, holding different sized babies down near the lake shore with bright smiles and sunburns were your only proof that you’d been there as long as you have. As you got older and could enjoy the activities more, it became your favorite thing to do.

Your parents all got older right alongside you and they eventually stopped coming with, knowing you and the other kids would have fun out there while also being safe and smart.

So you continued on like that, all pitching up tents for the weekend and spending your time relaxing on tubes in the river or talking around the campfire, letting off the stress the year had brought you as you finished up high school and entered different colleges.

So it was slightly out of character that you were groaning as you packed your suitcase, complaining to Sunoo on the other side of the phone as he carried out the same action a few houses down.

“It’s just terrible timing.” Your voice was louder than normal as you disappeared into your closet in search of something warm for the colder temperatures at night. “Beomgyu and I are barely even broken up and I’m so behind on class work I could die.”

“Well you know it’s the same time every year Y/N, it’s not like it was sprung on you. Plus Beomgyu broke up with you last fall. I’d say you’re officially over by now.” Sunoo’s voice was barely audible from back in your bedroom but you still sighed and leaned your head onto your dressed with a thud.

He was always brutally honest with you considering he’d known you since you were infants, being the two closest in age out of the rest of you. When you first started school most of the teachers had assumed you were twins, wearing matching clothes and stuck at the hip everywhere you went.

You’d ditched The Shining like fashion now that you were adults but you still were the closest to him out of everybody, having applied to the same college together.

“Plus we haven’t seen the others since the holidays. This is the longest we’ve been apart, aren’t you excited?” His voice was picking up a hopeful tone as he tried to cheer you up and change your mood around.

You sighed softly again and walked back to your bedroom, grabbing your phone from the bed and holding it to your ear so you could hear him better. Leaning forward to look out your window across the small chunk of yard that separated you from your neighbor, you could see him sitting in his chair with a big smile on his face.

“You’ll be sick of them in an hour.” You remarked and knocked on the window, his head picking up to look over at you.

“I’m always sick of them.” He was rolling his eyes and you watched his mouth move in silence as the phone audio lagged behind a few seconds. “That’s the best part.”

You smiled at that and nodded although he wasn’t looking at you anymore, turning back to his bag. You did miss your other friends, almost an impossible amount.

You spent a lot of nights in your dorm room thinking about them and how horrible it was to be apart, replaying the goodbyes you all gave each other at the airport over and over in your mind as you tried to remain hopeful for the next time you could reunite. Nothing could prepare you for how difficult it was to separate for them, your parents all watching you with sad smiles in the background as you cried and hugged each other.

Coming home for Christmas felt like you’d gained a piece of your heart back, spending the entire break inseparable and having more fun than you possibly could with the more casual friends you’d met in school.

Your parents hadn’t nagged you for not being home a lot or felt sad that you all rather be together than with them for Christmas Eve and morning, understanding more than anybody else what it felt like to have such friendships.

“Aren’t you excited to see Heeseung?” Sunoo’s voice cut into your happy daydreams and the smile fell from your face at his teasing tone, stiffening slightly as he glanced at you from his room again, an eyebrow raised in amusement at your reaction.

“I’m excited to see everybody.” You said stiffly and he let out a small laugh at your sudden serious tone, knowing you had caught on to what he was implying. “Sunoo, don’t make it weird.”

“I’m not.” He gasped like it was an offensive thing to suggest, standing and approaching the window so you could see him better as he continued to tease you. “I just think it might be interesting considering this is the first time you’ve seen your childhood lover since being single again.”

“Do not call him that.” You were groaning and flopping back on your bed to which he let out another amused laugh.

You loved all of your friends equally, each one of them bringing a different set of pros to your life and helping to shape your personality as you grew up and molded into the person you were now. They were your family, brothers you never had and they felt the same way about you, resulting in no one ever dating within the group or causing awkward moments that could potentially upset the harmonious balance.

Lee Heeseung was the exception.

Despite Sunoo’s ridiculous phrasing he had never been your lover, not even remotely coming close to it. In fact things were almost more platonic with him than anybody else, never hugging you for too long or jokingly flirting to try and get on your nerves.

You weren’t exactly sure what it was about Heeseung that you liked so much. You’d seen him grow up the same as the other boys and while their changes annoyed you, scrunching your nose at classic boyish humor or lack of hygiene as they all shot up in height and their voices started cracking, Heeseung was the most beautiful person you’d ever met in your entire life.

He’d been born first out of all the babies but he never took advantage of being the eldest, always kind and generous as he drove everybody around and asked for group opinions instead of just doing whatever he wanted out of seniority.

He was funny in a way you didn’t know boys could be funny, not even meaning to make you laugh sometimes and just coincidentally being a beacon of light and humor that left all of you bending over trying to catch your breath at the dinner table. You liked this about him but you liked the small proud smile he’d have after everytime even more.

It certainly didn’t help that he was handsome in an unreal way. He had seemingly barely dipped a toe in the awkward phase you all went through before he was shooting up in height and his features were sharpening, solidifying into somebody who could’ve been intimidating if he wasn’t always smiling and goofing around.

But Heeseung was never your lover and he never would be considering your crush for him, that you had mistakenly spilled to Sunoo at some point during your senior year of high school, was completely dead and gone as far as you were concerned.

You’d even gotten a boyfriend to prove this to yourself, meeting a sophomore on your first day of college and immediately being taken by his style and humor. He reminded you of your friends back home as much as somebody could manage and he helped you adjust to being away from everyone outside of Sunoo. You’d even brought him back home with you last thanksgiving, letting him meet your friends before he abruptly dumped you on your drive back to the airport.

When you’d gotten out of the car with swollen eyes and red cheeks, your friends who had been waiting in the lobby to say the round of goodbyes had immediately crowded around you in worry.

Heeseung was standing back a bit and you tried not to make eye contact with him, humiliated as you murmured to them that Beomgyu had just broken up with you only a few minutes ago.

Jay was furious and attempting to go and confront the boy who was checking your bags in with security but Jungwon was quickly reminding him that you had to spend the next 4 hours sat right beside him on the cramped plane and they didn’t need to make the silence anymore uncomfortable than it already was going to be.

“I can drive you back.” Heeseung’s soft voice was coming from behind the bickering pair and you glanced up at him with wide teary eyes, not liking the pitiful gaze he was peering down at you with.

You felt sick at his suggestion as your heart skipped a few beats, the harsh reminder of how kind and generous he was immediately followed by the realization that no matter how hard your tried or how long of a relationship you had, he’d still make your stomach light up with butterflies. You turned down his offer and said your goodbyes with more tears than usual, promising to see them soon.

Heeseung hadn’t come to Christmas for the first time in your lives and as much fun as you had seeing each other again, the balance was always off whenever one of you weren’t present. He’d claimed he was busy with work and that he’d tried to get time off but he simply couldn’t, a message in the group chat about how he couldn’t wait to go camping being the last time you’d heard from him.

By the time Sunoo spoke again you could see him throwing his backpack over his shoulder and wheeling his suitcase out the door. “This could be the year you know. You should make a move.”

“Don’t be stupid.” You shook your head although he couldn’t see you anymore. “There is no move to be made, we’re bestfriends.”

“That’s because you- Hi Mrs L/N.” You could hear your front door open both through the phone speaker and your own ears. “Are too pussy to do anything about it.”

He whispered the last part so your mom wouldn’t hear and you laughed at the way he stopped mid insult to greet her with an affectionate tone. You hung up the phone and laid flat on your back as you waited for him to climb the stairs to your room.

He was pushing the door open only seconds later and he paused in the doorway when he saw you pathetically sprawled out in your own self pity, sighing softly before climbing on the bed besides your head and petting your hair gently as he kissed his teeth.

“Poor thing. In love with the village idiot.” He was shaking his head and you shoved his hand off of you as he let out a laugh, shielding himself from your attacks. You were sitting up to push him again when three long honks were ringing from outside, catching both of your attention.

You were off the bed and grabbing your bags before you could say another word, a childlike excitement washing over you as you giddily ran down the stairs and gave your mom a rushed kiss goodbye as she complained about the fact Jay had honked and didn’t come in to say hello.

By the time you got outside the other boys were already out of the car, meeting you halfway in laughed filled hugs and you and Sunoo ran to embrace them.

“Oh my god, when did you get so tall?” You were pulling away from Riki in exclamation as you held his arms and shook his frame slightly, scanning him all the way up to his face that was now having to look down at you. “What are they feeding you over there?”

“Straight protein.” Jake was answering before the youngest could, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and he also admired Riki’s growth spurt, although slightly envious considering he hadn’t grown much since high school.

“Protein won’t make you grow idiot.” Sunghoon was leaning against the van with a judging expression as he looked at his friend and roommate, him and Jake going to the same school about an hour away.

You’d stayed in pairs or groups for the most part since moving out. Sunoo and you, Jake and Sunghoon and then Jay, Jungwon and Riki had all moved in together at the best school in the state neighboring yours.

Heeseung was the only one who hadn’t applied alongside any of you despite the belief you all were going to try and stay together as much as possible while still supporting your individual dreams and wants. He had applied to all the same schools as you all did, getting accepted into every single one. Yet when it came down to choosing, he moved the furthest away on his own.

When he had sat you all down in Jungwon’s basement to announce this you remember feeling betrayed. Hurt at him leaving and even more upset that he hadn’t picked the school you were attending considering that was the option he seemed to be leaning towards according to what he told you

You can recall the others cheering in celebration at the fact he’d gotten into an extremely good college despite the sadness that settled in on everyone’s faces when they realized what that meant. You caught his eye at some point during that exchange and he flinched away, not wanting to look at you the same way you did to him at the airport.

Not similarly to the way he was looking at you now, rounding the front of the van as he got out of the passenger seat and made his way to where you were all gathered.

You tensed up for a moment when you first saw him and Riki noticed, following your gaze over his shoulder as he turned around and smiled once he saw what you were looking at, walking over to Heeseung and dragging him towards you with a pat on the back.

“Hey.” He was breathing out as he looked down at you and you took a second to take in his appearance.

It hadn’t been that long since you’d seen him but somehow he looked different, or maybe he just felt different considering how much broader his shoulders were and how much more sure of himself he seemed. You weren’t exactly sure what it was about him that was striking you as new but you were momentarily stunned as you took him in.

Sunoo was nudging you with him elbow suddenly and you realized you’d been completely zoned out checking Heeseung out as you ignored his greeting. “Hi Hee.”

He smiled down at you softly but didn’t say anything else, just standing there for a second before Jay was smacking the hood of the old van and announcing you had to hit the road or else you’d miss the site check in time. You gave him a quick glance before moving to carry your bags into the trunk, stopping when big hands were overlapping yours on the handle.

“Let me do it.” You looked up from under your eyelashes to see Heeseung bending over slightly as he gathered your stuff for you.

You were too stunned to say anything and he smiled again, fuller this time as he turned with your stuff and started to load it up. Sunoo was chuckling from beside you and you whipped your head to the side to shoot him a glare, a silent warning for him to be quiet and not draw attention to the blush on your face or the fact your stomach was lighting up with the same familiar feeling it always did whenever you were around the oldest boy.

The ride was uneventful for the most part, three hours passing as the boys in front of you caught up and told childish jokes, at one point having a competition to see who could catch the most goldfish in their mouth before they were gagging.

Heeseung hadn’t joined in with them from his seat in front of you but you could see his cheeks rising with a smile every time Sunoo squeaked out a laugh or Riki started to tease Jay who was driving. You and Sunghoon were in the back, playing games on his phone as you passed it back and forth and tried to ignore the eyes you could feel looking back at you every once in a while.

You were all just starting to reach your boredom limit and the car was filling with groans of pain as you stretched your legs out onto others and complained about your back pain, when you finally were pulling up to the familiar area.

As you shuffled out of the van, you took a deep breath and squeezed your eyes shut. It was rare to find this type of visual anywhere you were used to, the large trees surrounding the clear lake with small mountains out in the distance.

The air felt clear and light in your lungs and the temperature was perfect, just hot enough that you could go swimming still but also bundle into a sweater to avoid getting an overwhelming amount of bug bites.

You helped unload the trunk with the others, setting up the grills and coolers in a small area a few feet away from the main camp site. It was empty now, a small lot of perfectly mowed grass but you’d seen the process enough times to know with only a little bit of work, it could turn into a comfortable home for you to spend the weekend. Jake helped you moved some of the heavier stuff, giggling when he almost tripped over a branch walking backwards.

“Here comes the worst part.” He was leaning over to whisper to you as you walked back to camp.

Jay was sitting on the picnic table the campsite offered to people who stayed multiple nights, the hat he had been wearing in his hands as Sunoo ripped up little pieces of paper next to him.

Jake was right in the sense that this was the most meticulous part of the weekend but you never completely minded it. Your names would all be written on a piece of paper and put into the hat, then you’d draw two at a time and be given your tent roommate for the trip. Sunghoon and Jake often got paired and he’s complain the entire time, citing him as a blanket hog.

For 90% of the years you’d done this tradition you’d gotten Sunoo, eventually you imagined it had something to do with the fact he was the one who always got to call out the names being pulled.

Nobody ever called him out for it despite the way they’d roll their eyes as he put on a show of surprise, gasping and covering his mouth in shock and you laughed and cheered him on. So you weren’t thinking too much about the mischievous look on his face, figuring he was just planning out how his performance was going to go this time around.

“Okay first up to bat.” Jay was calling out in a serious tone, shuffling the slips around now that they were all accounted for.

“Jake.” Sunoo was announcing as he pulled the first one out, unfolding it and showcasing it slowly to your eager eyes. Jake nudged your side with an excited look on his face, crossing his fingers and squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation. “And…. Sunghoon!”

“Oh no fucking way.” The boy next to you was groaning loudly as he dropped to his knees dramatically, holding his head and trying to block out the sounds of Sunghoon laughing and cheering as he mocked him.

You laughed with him, looking at Sunoo who winked at you and bunched the papers up in his hands. You bent down to wrap your arms under Jake’s arms, tugging him back up to a standing position as he dramatically leaned against you.

Sunghoon was excitedly skipping over to the two of you, face lit up with pleasure at the sound of his friends complaints. He helped you hold up Jake who had gone completely limp as he feigned death. “Hurry up, he’s heavy.”

“Alright next up is…” Sunoo paused dramatically like he was waiting for a drum roll, sighing and muttering how you guys weren’t any fun when nobody humored him. “Jungwon and Sunoo.”

Jungwon let out a cheer and a swift clap, although not moving from where he was lounging in a camping chair beside the picnic table. Sunoo gave you another look, the same mischievous grin on his face that he had before, although now it made your blood run cold as you quickly realized what he was attempting to do.

“Riki and Jay.” You were proven right as the third pair was announced and you stiffened up completely in shock and betrayal, not even paying attention to the two boys and they agreed they were going to get the best and biggest tent since Riki was the tallest.

“Looks like it’s me and you.” To make your situation worse, Heeseung’s low voice was suddenly hitting your ear and you turned to glance at him.

He looked slightly awkward, not nearly as awkward as you were feeling, and you felt a wave a guilt at the fact he had most likely saw your upset reaction. You hoped he just figured it was because you liked to be close with Sunoo, although right now you were considering drowning him in the lake, and didn’t think it had anything to do with him.

“Looks like it.” You gave him a tensed smile knowing it absolutely everything to do with him.

——

The day was so fun you were almost able to forget your unfortunate sleeping situation. Everybody had gone down to the lake the second the tents were properly set up and secured into the ground, greeting familiar campers who lived on site full time during the summers and splashing each other aggressively until somebody was screaming and blowing water out of their nose.

It exhausted you fast and you were back at the camp only a few hours later so you could conserve your energy, watching Jay and thanking him as he grilled enough meat for all of you to eat multiple servings.

Now the sun had set and your first night was coming to an end in the most peaceful way possible, listening to your best friends have low voiced talks around a crackling campfire. You weren’t saying much but you liked to hear them tell stories about their months apart from you and drink in their voices that you had missed so dearly.

“Shit just changes in college.” Riki was mumbling and you watched him with tired eyes, nodding your head as he spoke about how he’s felt slightly out of place now that he was away from home.

“That’s because everybody is either having sex or trying to.” Jake was remarking from beside you and you turned to glare at him.

He was playing with the dangling netted cup holder of your foldable chair and you slapped his hand away at his statement, causing him to chuckle and nudge you with his foot as he shrugged. “Hey, it’s true.”

“Not for everybody.” Sunghoon was shaking his head and giving him the same grossed out look you were. He was sat across from you and he glanced at you from behind the fire with a nod of agreement. “Some of us have better stuff to do than go to parties every weekend and dick off.”

Jake was scoffing in disbelief and you watched Sunghoon shoot him a pointed look like he was telling him to keep quiet, your mouth dropping into a surprised laugh at the fact he had tried to lie and pretend to agree with you.

“Don’t let her fool you, she complains about her virginity every other day.” Sunoo was casually saying as he took a sip of his drink, his head tilting back to finish it and missing the reaction from the group.

It had fallen completely silent and you stiffened up awkwardly in your chair, a wave of embarrassment washing over you at your friends blunt phrasing. He had always been known to tell the truth about anything and everything but he seemed to realize this was too far, even for him, putting his cup down slowly and offering you an apologetic grimace.

“What?” Jake was sitting up in his chair and turning to fully face you, leaning forward and tugging on your sleeve with an urgent look on his face. “You’ve never had sex?”

“Dude you were with Beomgyu for like 3 years.” Jungwon was muttering from a few spots over and you glared in his direction at the mention of your ex boyfriend.

“Eight months.” The voice from the other seat beside you was speaking for the first time in a while and you turned your gaze slowly to see Heeseung stiff in his chair, staring into the fire as he played with his empty cup absentmindedly. You wondered if he even realized he had said something, let alone suddenly announced the exact amount of time you’d been in a relationship.

“Regardless dude, weren’t you guys like super serious?” Riki was adding on and you looked over to him, happy no one else had realized how weird what Heeseung had said was.

Despite how open you all were with each other, it was rare the conversation about sex lives ever extended over to you. As much as you didn’t really mind the idea of talking to them about your experiences, or lack there of, you also weren’t totally oppose to them never asking and you never telling.

You would’ve laughed at the fact they all looked personally offended you hadn’t gotten laid, maybe even joined in on the banter, if it wasn’t for the boy next to you and how embarrassing it was for him to be hearing it all. As much as you wished you thought of Heeseung the same as the other boys, you didn’t and this proved it.

“It’s not a big deal guys… he never tried or anything. I didn’t think much about it.” You were flushed bright red, thankfully hidden underneath the dark night, and shaking your head as you tried to feign casualness.

“Not a big deal?” Jake was laughing in disbelief and leaning forward more so you’d fully understand the sincerity in his words. “He was with YOU for almost a year and never made a move? He’s crazy.”

You were turning to glare at him at his wording and he leaned back a few inches, keeping a hand on your chair.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You groaned as you realized this wasn’t something they were going to just let go and move on from, being presented with the most interesting conversation point of the night.

“You’re hot.” He said it like it was something obvious and clear and you faltered in shock, mouth parting and you leaned forward to smack him on the shoulder. He winced and flinched away from you with an upset whine. “I’m just saying dude! We all think it.”

You turned away from him to scan the rest of the circle with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows, watching the other boys awkwardly avoid your gaze or just outwardly nod their heads in agreement with Jake. (Sunghoon and Jay.)

You weren’t stupid and you knew the boys were attractive, each of them fit and handsome constantly drawing attention all throughout high school, subjecting you to glares from girls in the hallways and boys trying to befriend you in an attempt to get closer to them.

Still, you’d never considered the fact that they thought about you in a similar way. You never thought too deeply into your own appearance at all, both positively and negatively but you figured the idea would never cross their minds considering they strictly treated you as a close friend or even a sibling at times, minus Jake and his meaningless flirting.

For some reason your gaze fell to Heeseung, who was still completely stiff beside you. He hadn’t been looking at you before but now he was and you faltered slightly at the hard expression on his face, eyes low with something you couldn’t make out in the dark.

“Shut up Jake, don’t be so stupid.” You were turning away from him quickly as you muttered the words and they dropped it quickly the second they realized you were actually uncomfortable and not just messing around.

The conversation moved on for now but you imagined they’d bring it back up at some point during the weekend. You felt a bit better now that the attention was mostly off of you, Jake’s hand resting on your arm as he played with your sleeve softly. You figured he must be feeling guilty for making such a big deal out of it so you ignored him, happily accepting the invitation to go to bed when Jungwon was standing with a yawn.

The awkwardness of that conversation had made you complete forgot about your sleeping situation but you were reminded quickly as the other boys stood to also head to bed, Heeseung standing slowly and hovering near you.

He followed behind you closely as you ducked into the tent but neither of you spoke as you zipped it up, sitting down on the sleeping back to shuffle through your bag as you searched for your pajamas.

You felt bad it was so awkward between the two of you. You’d always felt more cautious around him considering your past crush but you never let it show, not wanting him to think you liked him less than the others or worse, realize the truth was the direct opposite. Still there was something clearly different in their air now and it was suffocating you a bit as you waited for him to joke around or say something stupid to break the tension.

“Are you into Jake?” When he finally spoke it threw you off completely, not expecting him to say something like in such a hardened tone.

You froze in your movements inside your bag, looking up at him in confusion. “What?”

He was halfway sat leaning against a few pillows, watching you from the other side of the tent with that same unreadable expression he had by the fire. He didn’t clarify what he said, knowing you had heard him and you watched him for a few seconds in silent bewilderment.

“Why would you ask me that?” You mumbled, shaking your head and looking down at your disorganized clothes pile again. It slightly agitated you that he hadn’t spoken to you for most of the day and yet that was the first question from his mouth.

“Just wondering.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a completely taboo topic to be questioning you about but his face was anything but casual. “Are you into any of them? Would you hook up with one of us?”

“How can you ask me that? Would you ask one of the boys that or is it because I’m the only girl?” You glared at him as you spoke.

“I’d ask them if I cared.” He stated and you scoffed, not fully understanding what he was attempting to imply in his statement.

He wasn’t acting like himself and you felt a bit worried that maybe you had done something to upset him or weirded him out with your awkward demeanor. You didn’t bother to reply again, grabbing your toothbrush with the pajamas you’d chosen and leaving the tent swiftly through the zippered door.

You were speed walking down towards the public bathrooms and showers on the other side of the camp site, flustered from his random interrogation and replaying the day to decide if you’d done anything that could make him think that.

Jake was touchy with everybody, especially you at times since you objected the least but he always had been and it definitely wasn’t a new and shocking thing for him to be touching your arm or hugging onto your side. You contemplated it potentially being due to his comment about you being hot but considering the context in which he said it, you didn’t think that was the reason.

A hand around your arm was snapping you from your thoughts and you let out a small yelp, spinning around to see Heeseung who was panting slightly.

His eyes were wide a bit like he was worried and you saw a flash of guilt pass through then when he saw your flushed face. He squeezed your arm for a second before letting it go and you gave him a questioning stare at the fact he had seemingly rushed out of the tent to follow you into the darkness.

“Let me walk you there.” He blurred out and gestured to the fact he was also holding his pajamas and night hygiene products. “It’s dark, you shouldn’t be out here alone.”

You scoffed slightly at his concern, both of you knowing you weren’t in any danger at the campsite and it was barely a ten minute walk through a lit trail, but nonetheless you nodded at him and continued walking with him now at your side. He didn’t say anything else and neither did you, parting ways silently once you got to the building and he went to the male side.

You took a second to breathe once inside, leaning your elbows on the counter and looking at yourself in the mirror underneath the yellow flickering lights. You brushed your teeth quickly and changed into a comfortable sweater and shorts, wandering back outside to see Heeseung already there and leaning against the wall.

He watched as you walked past him silently, lingering for a second before jogging to catch up with you.

“I’m sorry.” He was muttering and you looked at him for a second before focusing back in front of you so you didn’t trip over the bumpy terrain. “I shouldn’t have asked you that.”

You shrugged softly and you felt his arm bump into yours as you walked side by side, approaching the tent in silence. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore, certainly not wanting to hear the reason he thought you’d be hooking up with Jake of all people.

When you finally were back inside and putting your toothbrush away you tried to ignore the fact he was climbing onto the large sleeping bag waiting for you to join inside it before he could zip it up completely. Your heart was pounding thinking about sleeping next to him and you suddenly felt overly hot despite the cold chill of the night.

You’d slept next to Heeseung before, all accustomed to sharing beds or living room floors during sleepovers, sometimes even all smushing together inside Jungwon’s van when you had a particularly long late night adventure. Yet it felt extremely intimate to be alone together and zipped up inside a sleeping bag.

Still you had no other option and the cold was starting to get to you considering your pajama shorts, so you scooted over onto the staticky fabric and held your breath as he leaned over you to seal it.

He laid back onto his back and you fell into more silence, not quite touching but you could feel his shoulder only a few inches from yours, rising and falling as he took deep breaths. He was shifting a bit to try and get comfortable and directly bumped into you, freezing at the contact but not making any move to scoot further away.

“I really am sorry for asking you that.” He was suddenly speaking but his voice was so quiet you barely heard him at first, a tired rasp lacing his words.

“It’s fine Hee. Not a big deal.” You whispered back, the air feeling strangely delicate. His hand was touching your wrist randomly but you assumed it was an accident, sparing him a glance at his touch and finding him staring at the roof of the tent.

“Pissed me off when he said that.” His voice was still low but it was hardening again like it had earlier and you winced slightly, confused at his mood changes. Heeseung was never the type to get angry and definitely not somebody who would voice it so openly like this. “Is that weird to say?”

“I’m not sure I get what you mean.” You were bending your legs so your feet were flat against the tent floor and your knees were pointed upwards, feeling strangely vulnerable at the conversation topic.

His hand that was barely grazing your wrist was moving now and you stiffened when he completely grasped it, sliding slowly down your arm until he could feel your palm under his finger tips. You sucked in a breath at his strange actions, never really directly touching him before despite how close you all were to each other.

“I don’t think I know what I mean either.” He was letting out a small self deprecating laugh but he squeezed your hand now that they were intertwined. “I just know whenever he touches you it makes me feel crazy.”

Your heart felt heavy at his sudden confession and you were slightly dizzy as you were trying to process what he was saying and what it meant if he was implying what you thought he might be. It seemed like he was trying to tell you that he was jealous of Jake, jealous of him for touching you earlier and for the way he playfully flirted.

“Jake’s harmless.” You whispered back and you’re not sure why that’s what you chose to address instead of asking him why on earth that would upset him.

“I know.” He said it like he was frustrated, like you were missing the point he was trying to make. “It’s not about that, I don’t know forget it.”

He was unraveling his hand from yours but you instinctively caught him in the middle of his arm, panicked at the thought of him pulling away now that you’ve finally made some progress towards… something you still weren’t fully understanding. But you’d never even toed the line with Heeseung before and you weren’t going to take it for granted.

He was finally glancing at you now that you were practically hugging his arm and his face wasn’t hard anymore, instead having a nervous unsure look that you hadn’t really seen on him before.

“Help me understand.” You loosened your grip on his arm but kept it held against you, breathing heavier as you looked at each other.

He watched you for a while but didn’t say anything just yet, you tried not to flinch when he rolled over on his side so he could face you better and it seemed to work considering his free hand was coming up to push some of your hair behind your ear, resting on your cheek for a second before going back to his side like he hadn’t meant to do it.

“Why did you never have sex with Beomgyu?” He was whispering again and his words sounded particularly vulgar although he sounded like he was genuinely curious.

You didn’t answer for a while because you honestly didn’t have one that wouldn’t make you sound like you were desperate and insane. You could halfway lie and tell him it just didn’t feel right but you had a feeling he would be able to see right through you like he always could.

“It didn’t work right?” He started speaking again before you could and you were turning on your side too so you could look at him in confusion, still holding his arm that was resting in the middle of you. When he saw your confused look he explained further. “Using him to get over me, it didn’t work.”

You froze and your mouth fell open, almost worried you were going to cry considering how embarrassed you felt that he had apparently known your biggest secret this entire time. A sick feeling washed over you and he seemed to notice because he shifted closer to you slightly with a worried expression.

You thought back to how Heeseung had acted on the trip you’d brought your ex boyfriend to. He was more distant than usual but you figured he was just busy and stressed since he had been working so hard, this being confirmed when he couldn’t get time off to attend Christmas.

Now a large part of you was wondering if it was something else, if he had lied so he didn’t have to face you after your breakup. If Jake, somebody he knew and trusted, flirting with you had bothered him tonight then there was no way he hadn’t been even slightly upset considering you and Beomgyu were openly affectionate the entire break.

You tried to not blame yourself for the fact he had missed out on movie night that week, citing he wasn’t feeling well and barely sparing a glance to the two of you curled up together under a blanket on the couch. Remembering how he stared at you over dinner when you were introducing the boy with a bright smile on your face, avoiding his heavy gaze all night because it made your heart feel guilty.

It also made you feel incredibly stupid. Not only did he seem to know you were in love with him but he also determined your entire reasoning for rushing into a relationship.

“You knew?” Your hurt was shown clearly in your tone and his eyes saddened a little.

“Of course I knew, I thought we both did.” He shook his head a little like he was finding himself stupid. “Imagine my surprise when you come home with a boyfriend.”

“You left.” You spat out to him, squeezing his arm at the reminder he had willingly moved farther away from you than anybody else. Despite the fact you’d spent multiple nights together talking about the colleges you’d choose and he assured you he wouldn’t go far if he didn’t pick the one you were set on.

“I had to.” He sounded pained and stressed out like it had been weighing on him and your heart clenched considering you knew exactly how he felt.

As frustrated as you were at the situation you imagined it would’ve been hard for him too, having feelings for you the same way you did but never being sure. You definitely did your best to hide it to keep your friendship steady since it was your priority and you tried to think about how hurt you would be if he suddenly brought a girlfriend to your holidays, stomach turning at the thought.

“I am over you.” You said it forcefully as you tried to salvage any bit of friendship that was left but neither of you believed the words you were saying, his eyebrow raising as he watched you with a curious expression.

“Yeah?” He was mumbling and you squeezed his arm instinctively at his deepened tone and the way his voice quirked up in a question. You nodded your head and hummed softly in agreement, standing behind your claim.

He was shifting closer again and your nose bumped against his, causing you to suck in a sharp breath.

You tried not to think about the fact this was the closest you’d ever been to him, tried not to think about how he basically just confessed to you and taken almost two decades worth of weight off your shoulders. You especially tried not to think about the fact his eyes were flicking down to your lips every few seconds.

You didn’t think about anything at all when he was finally kissing you, closing your eyes immediately and leaning into each other like this was something you did often. Despite how constant you’d thought about what it would be like to kiss him one day, you were still surprised by how natural it felt.

It didn’t make you nervous to lean into him, not even when he let out a small huffy groan when he rolled onto his back so you could be laying halfway on top of him.

Something about kissing Heeseung came naturally to you and he seemed to be thinking similarly considering the way he let out a small relieved sigh when you pulled away to breathe, big hands coming up to tangle in your hair and hold your face still above his as he studied your swollen lips and dazed expression.

He gave you a soft smile and your lips quirked up at the sight of it, feeling content and happy despite your stomach lighting up with those familiar butterflies, leaning back down to kiss him again before you wasted any more time.

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #heeseung #jake enhypen #heeseung drabbles #heeseung x reader #heeseung smut #sunghoon enhypen #jay enhypen #jungwon enhypen #sunoo enhypen #riki enhypen #niki enhypen #enhypen au #enhypen smut #enhypen fic #heeseung au #heeseung fluff

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peachesofteal · 1 year

Note

Pls I am but humble mouse wishing for some more crumbs of darling dealing with her pregnancy alone after her breakup. What would the boys’ reaction be if they saw darling out with the infant 🐁

I live for angst and all the AUs other anons are giving are just *chefs kiss*

You are a humble mouse who I adore 🩵 I am writing a full drabbles/fics/whatever we call them, I don’t know, for the ultimate angst prompt and will be posting some of them this week via asks but here are some thoughts:

18+ Mature themes

Definitely sells the flat. Does it right away. Probably doesn’t even wait a week or two, the memories are too sharp. Too poignant, and poisoned. You get a great price for it, and then move across town.

Everything becomes a challenge. Some of your meds are off the table because of the pregnancy, so that in itself creates other problems. Getting out of bed is hard. Caring about eating well is hard. You go to work and go home. You haven’t put your sneakers on in weeks, you don’t spend time in the sun. You cry over everything. Hormones!

Considers abortion and adoption. Disregards both, but doesn’t know why. You can’t explain it, but even after everything… you want this child.

Never reaches out to the guys. Fuck them. They left you.

Spends many nights crying over the guys though. Many, many nights.

After a few months you try to take walks in the park. If not for yourself, then for the baby. You try to breathe the fresh air and feel the sun on your face… but seeing families together makes you feel stressed. It makes you feel inadequate. It makes you worried, that you won’t be good enough, to take care of a baby and yourself, all alone. It makes you feel scared.

You have a complete breakdown trying to put the nursery together. You can’t really figure out the instructions and the crib box was so heavy to lug inside, you’re exhausted before you even start. Eventually, you give up and fall into bed, and cry. You feel alone, and inept… and you can’t stop wishing for the guys. You want them here… even though they tore your heart out. And that makes you feel weak, and pathetic.

Panic attack on the train one day. You swear you can hear them in your ear, helping you breathe, trying to calm you. It feels so real… and not at all that you slide down onto the floor once you get home, and cry.

Your doctor is concerned about your weight. She’s concerned about everything, to be fair, and constantly tries to figure out if you have any support anywhere, at all.

#peaches asks #🐁 anon #peaches writes #disco baby au #ghost x reader x soap #soap x reader x ghost #soap x ghost x reader

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anjanahalo · 2 months

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Potential DP xDC Prompt 4

Apologies. Unhinged writing prompt ahead

Danny is too late to stop Vlad and his most devious team-up yet: empowering Desiree to the point she could grant a universal reality rewrite. He gets close enough to Desiree that he's not entirely engulfed in Vlad's Wish as it changed all of history to work around his heart's desire, but not far enough to be removed from it. Danny, unknown to him for much of his life, is reincarnated as Selene and Bruce's lovechild, one Selene surrendered for adoption without telling Batman of the infant. She only knew him as the brooding crime breaking crime fighter, after all, and she was a thief who must be ready to pick up and leave. Danny grows up in the foster system, discovering and then hiding his strange meta-like powers. However, "Somehow" (tm) he learns who his birth parents are. Depending on the type of reveal, Danny goes to find his birth parents. Doing so, his past life's memories blur in with his current memories and he recognizes Selene as the reincarnation of Maddie and Bruce Wayne is the universe's reincarnation as Vlad who, finally, could claim Maddie and Danny as his. Chaos ensues.

#dpxdc #danny phantom #dp x dc #I've yet to see this played with and I want this energy in the universe

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alloftheimagines · 1 year

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joel miller | the cure

masterlist | taglist | ko-fi

words: 3.5k

warnings: episode nine spoilers, canon level violence, probably incorrect medical stuff, joel murdering a bunch of people but in a sexy way, angst, she/her!reader

prompts: reader swaps places with Ellie (either as the one who’s immune or maybe they both are but Ellie isn’t put in that situation with the hospital), and reader is the one Joel rescues.

I’d love to request 13 and 70 from the prompt list you reblogged, with Joel Miller please! I adore your writing ❤️

“I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.”

“After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

tags: @sweetbabygirlsworld @m4tthewmurd0ck @domaniquessidehoe @spideysimpossiblegirl

When Joel wakes in the hospital alone, he knows something is wrong. The last he remembers is you and Ellie at his side as you searched for a way into the hospital, Ellie reading her puns aloud while you rolled your eyes and tried (failed) not to laugh.

He sits up quickly, heart pounding against his rib cage. He feels like sand is falling through his fingers, grain by grain. He’s woken up and lost something again, and this time you aren’t here to tell him it was just a dream. It’s real now, and the harder he clutches, the quicker he loses his grip.

As he stands on wobbly feet, the door creaks open. Ellie appears, and a kernel of relief drops to his stomach. Just one, but it’s enough to ground him for a minute.

And then he sees her red-rimmed eyes and pale face, and the kernel explodes, raining down more panic. You’re not with her. Where are you?

“Ellie?” he whispers, pulling her in by the shoulder and checking her body for any injuries.

Her throat bobs. “They took her. They took her to surgery, Joel, but they wouldn’t take me. I think… I think something is wrong. I think—”

“You’re awake.” Marlene steps through the door with a pleasant smile, and Ellie’s voice fades quickly. “Sorry we had to knock you out. They didn’t know who you were, not until they brought you in.”

“Where is she?” Joel asks, his voice steady and low, like gravel crunching under heavy boots.

Marlene slips her hands into her pockets, and there is something, a quick flash, in her dark eyes that Joel is too worried to miss. She’s good at blinking it away, but it’s too late. He saw.

“She’s already in surgery.” With a sigh, she pulls Joel and Ellie’s belongings from the table and hands them over. “You did a good job getting them here, Joel. So good we decided it wouldn’t be right to operate on Ellie, too. Not until we know for sure their immunity can help with the cure.”

Joel’s eyes narrow, his fingers curling into fists at his side. He grabs the bags roughly, all too aware of the way Ellie is shrinking into his side as though afraid. “So how long will it take? When can I see her?”

Pressing her lips together, Marlene’s wary glance passes between Ellie and Joel. “To test for a cure, we need to take the cordyceps from the host’s body. Do you understand what that means?”

He doesn’t, not at first. Not until he thinks of all the things he’s been told about the illness over the years. The way you spoke about it when you told him you couldn’t get sick and how the Fireflies believed a rare fungal infection you battled as an infant, years before the outbreak, left you immune to cordyceps. Because that infection altered your body’s immune system, and…

And the way fungal infections are recognised by your brain.

“Cordyceps…” He feels dizzy. Sick. “Cordyceps infect the brain. Removing it…”

Removing it would mean removing you.

Killing you.

Marlene nods, sympathy softening her features. Fuck her sympathy, Joel thinks as his blood begins to boil, bones stiffening with that protectiveness he’s always let consume him when it comes to the few people he loves.

He lurches forward on that primal instinct alone, because there is no way in hell he can let you die. “You’ll kill her!”

Guards filter into the room immediately, shoving Joel so the backs of his knees knock against the bed.

Ellie is trembling beside him. “Did you even fucking tell her?” she yells. “Does she know that she’s going to die on that fucking operating table, you piece of shit?”

“I’m sure she’d choose it this way,” Marlene snaps. “You’re the alternative, and we weren’t going to make a fourteen-year-old a martyr. Not if we don’t have to.”

“Martyrs choose to be martyrs!” Joel’s voice bellows like thunder through the room as he struggles against the armed guards. “You had me bring her here to fucking kill her!” The words shatter against the wall like ceramic as he realises the twisted truth of them.

He hauled you and Ellie across the fucking country… for this. To have you laid out like an animal and experimented on. Killed. You’d never shown any hint that you thought this was how it would end. You’d talked about going back to Tommy’s after all this was over, getting a house for all three of you. Your face lit up when you told Ellie she’d have her own room, and you’d glanced at him with both a question and a promise glinting in your eyes because you both knew. There was more to this now than when you’d begun as frosty acquaintances stuck on the same path. You’d gotten close, spent freezing evenings huddled by the fire and drinking whiskey from Joel’s flask. You’d saved his life more times than he could count and vice versa.

He’d torn down his armour for you despite his better judgement, because he couldn’t help but fall for you even if you were too damn young and pretty for him. Even if he was certain he was no good for you.

This morning he’d woken beside you, bathed in your light and warmth, and he’d been certain something had changed. That all the pain he’d experienced in his life finally had a reason and he could let it go, start fresh. Be yours rather than lost and bitter and alone. His cheeks had ached because he’d smiled and smiled and smiled, every time you spoke, every time you looked at him.

They can't just take that away. Not for a cure that might not even come to work. Not for anything. Damn it, he hasn’t come this far to lose you now.

“I’m giving you the option to leave,” Marlene says. “To get out of here and take the kid with you. You get to keep her safe because Y/N took her place. So let it go, Joel. Leave now, calmly, and let us do the rest. We could have a cure in a year’s time, maybe two. Do you understand that? All of this could be over soon.”

He knows better than to believe that after all he’s seen. It was never the infection that was the problem. It was humanity — and the absence of it when civilisation deteriorated. It was the Davids of the worlds, it was Fedra, it was murder and fascism and blood and sacrifice and ruin.

And why the hell should you have to die for a world that never gave you a damn thing? You, who still knows how to love and go gently, protect and fight for what matters? Why should he have to lose the one good thing he's known in this life?

The answer is simple: he shouldn’t. He won’t.

A veil of eerie calm passes over him. He nods, and the guards relax. Ellie is shouting, swearing, thumping him on the chest as he’s escorted out with her in tow. He leaves Marlene behind. Lets her think he's leaving quietly.

And then knocks out the guards and steals their rifles, forced to be part of the world that doesn’t deserve to be saved.

Because there is one thing that does deserve it, still, and he’ll fight like hell to keep it.

***

He moves through the hospital like ripples through a lake, fracturing everything in his wake. He shoots without hearing the gunfire, without feeling his finger on the trigger. He told Ellie to run and hide, but she was too stubborn and too worried about you to agree, so now she follows behind him, squeezing her eyes shut each time a Firefly falls. He doesn’t want her to see this, but there isn’t time to stop it now. He knows she wants you safe as much as he does, and that has to be enough.

It feels like hours before he finds you in the operating room, surrounded by nurses and doctors in blue scrubs. Your eyes are closed, your body still, and for a moment he thinks he’s too late. His knees threaten to give out as he barges in, weapon poised, Ellie close behind. You’re tethered to wires and IVs, but he sees no blood, no evidence that they’d already begun.

“I won’t let you take her!” the doctor says, wielding his scalpel. Joel shoots him, and he crumples to the floor without a whimper, without anything.

The nurses cower. Joel can taste their fear like metal, but he can’t feel it. It seeps into him like a ghost’s touch; unable to scratch his surface, but still able to penetrate. He can’t focus on it. Not when you’re still lying there, looking so small, so unlike you, in a hospital gown.

“Take out the IVs,” he instructs, his voice unwavering as he motions to you.

The nurse shakes her head.

“Now!” he bellows, and she’s smart enough to listen. She pulls the wires from your hand before stumbling back again.

Joel pays them no more heed as he steps towards you, his breath ragged as he smooths the hair from your face. You don’t react, don’t move, but you’re unharmed. Thank god, you’re unharmed.

“I got you, baby,” he whispers, his hands trembling as he slips one beneath your legs and the other around your back, scooping you up. “I’m here. I’m here now.”

You sink into his chest, and he knows that no matter what he’s done, no matter the horrors he’s committed, he made the right choice. Perhaps not for the world, or for the families of the people he’s murdered, but for you, and for Ellie, and for him. For his own little universe, where love has finally blossomed after a twenty-year drought.

That’s enough for him.

***

You wake feeling groggy, the sun dappling your face and a strange hum beneath you. It takes you a moment to realise it’s a car engine, and you frown, sitting up with a start. The back of Joel’s salt-and-pepper head is the first thing you notice, and relief floods you — intensified when you find Ellie in the passenger seat.

“Mornin’, sleeping beauty.” Joel glances at you through the rearview, his cheek pinching with a concerned smile. “How you feeling?”

A million memories try to soak into your mind at once. You remember almost nothing since approaching the hospital with Joel, and your body feels heavy. You look down to find you’re not in your own clothes, but someone else’s.

“What happened?”

Joel’s jaw sets, and a shiver rises inside you, because you know him, and you know that something has gone horribly wrong. His knuckles are white over the steering wheel, and neither he nor Ellie will meet your gaze as he speaks. “We’ll talk about it when we’re off the road.”

“No. Talk about it now,” you demand. More images flood back. You were in a hospital gown, being prepped for surgery. Marlene… Doctors and nurses…

The cure. They decided to use you, not Ellie.

“Did they… did they do it?”

With a sigh, Joel veers off the road, parking up beside a thick, shadowy treeline. The sun is amber in the sky, setting or rising, you don’t know.

The silence blankets you when the engine dulls, and your heart thuds as you try desperately to meet his eye. He keeps looking down and around, anywhere but at you. You try to get Ellie instead, fingers curling into the spongy seats as you lean forward. She only fidgets with her backpack. Her hands tremble.

“Somebody needs to tell me what the fuck is happening!” you snap, because it’s your body, your duty now, and why won’t they look at you? Why won’t they say a word? You went through hell to get to Utah, for Christ’s sake. What was it for if all you get is this confusing, awful silence?

Without a word, Joel opens the car door, instructing Ellie to give you a minute. You follow, your legs no longer feeling like legs and your mind clouded by fog. Both your doors slam shut, and you lean against the car for support as he finally turns to look at you. His expression is unreadable, and that makes you afraid. It reminds you of the day you met him, when he held a gun to you before you could reach for your own. When he was just a stranger who Marlene had sworn could get you to the Fireflies' base.

When he speaks, though, he’s anything but cold. “I couldn’t let them do it,” he whispers, pain straining his voice.

Your face creases in confusion. “What? After everything we risked, everything we went through—”

“It would kill you!” he shouts. And then, lower: “They were going to kill you. Take the cordyceps out of your fucking brain and leave you… gone. Did you know that? Did they tell you?”

You’re speechless, your throat thick with fear, shock, and your stomach churning with nausea. “That’s why they didn’t want Ellie.”

“They figured murdering a fourteen-year-old was a step too far.” Bitterness soaks his words.

You massage your temples as you try to process it, but at the forefront of everything is guilt. You feel sick, shivery, wrong. You’re the world’s only hope… and you haven’t given them what they needed.

And then you think of Marlene, who promised you so much. You were her friend for years. She looked you in the eyes before surgery and told you you were doing the right thing. She sent you to your execution.

The worst part is that if you’d known it would kill you, you probably still would have agreed if it meant fixing what the infection has broken.

You glance at Joel as you understand all the things he’s not saying. “What the fuck did you do, Joel?” you breathe shakily.

His mouth stretches into a thin line of devastation, and he doesn’t have to say it. “I couldn’t let them… I couldn’t. It wasn’t right.”

You doubt whatever went down on Joel’s end was right, either. There’s no way the Fireflies would have let you go without a fight.

Oh, god.

You sink against the car, panic rising in you. When Joel tries to grab your hand, you tear it away, surprising even yourself.

“Hey,” he says, pleading. “Don’t do this. I had to keep you safe. I had to…”

“It wasn’t your choice!”

“It sure as hell wasn’t yours either!” Joel blurted, anger roughening the edges. “They were just gonna take you away, no fuckin’ warning, no askin’, no nothin’! It’s sick!”

“I’m just one person, Joel. They were trying to save the world!”

“You’re the only fuckin’ person who matters! You, and her!” He jabs a finger in Ellie’s direction, mouth curling with something foul. “It ain’t your responsibility to die for this world. They said it might not even work, made it sound like they were just using you as a lab rat. And what would you be saving anyway? You wanna sacrifice yourself for a world where the government scares everybody into submission and rapists and murderers and fuckin’ cannibals run the place? Huh?”

You flinch at the memory of Silver Lake and David, and how it had felt to lose Sam and Henry months before. Joel’s right; it’s hard to want to save the world when the world has done nothing but kick you down, again and again.

But whatever Joel did, whatever pain he’s left with… you don’t want the stains on his soul to be in your name. He deserves better than that.

When you say nothing, Joel softens, running a hand through his bristly beard as his eyes begin to glisten. “When are you going to understand, darlin’...? I’d never let anyone hurt you. Not if I could help it.”

Your chin wobbles with the promise of tears as you look at him properly for the first time. He looks tired, drawn, haunted.

You did that. Or, rather, he did that for you.

“Marlene… where is she?” You’re afraid to ask, but you have to know.

He gulps, bowing his head. “Gone. They’re all gone.”

“Shit.” You hiss the curse as the tears finally fall, rocking against the weight of what you now know to be true.

“She was never going to stop,” he says.

“I was… I was supposed to be the cure, Joel.” The words rattle in your broken chest like a song scratched out on old vinyl.

He shakes his head. “Not like this. Not if it kills you.”

“I can’t…” You want to break, and you look at him and wonder how he’s still standing. What the hell did he do to get you here, get you safe? Slowly, you put your hand on his chest. “God, Joel. What… I can’t be worth all this. I can’t be responsible for all this.”

“You ain’t responsible for anything. I made this decision.” He covers your hand with his own, and you feel his chest thumping. “I did this.”

“That’s what I mean. I don’t want this for you. I don’t…” You stifle a sob. “I was just your fucking cargo. Why would you do all of this? Why would you stop them from finding a cure, stop them from changing the world, for me? You have to live with that. Not me. I know you, Joel, and I know you don’t need another thing weighing on your soul like this. I can’t be the reason you do. I can’t…”

Surprise flickers across his features. “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t get it, do you?”

You blink, lost, and he squeezes your hand tighter, his forehead close enough to brush yours.

“You still don’t know that I love you.”

Your world stutters to a stop with those words. Of course you’d known there was chemistry burning between you, palpable enough that sometimes you can barely breathe. But you never thought Joel would let himself love.

And yet here he is. Destroying the world to save you and his girl. You’ve seen the way he’s warmed to Ellie. It shouldn’t surprise you that you matter too. But you’d never believe a man like him, a man who breathes grief and hostility and strength, could soften for you.

“I’m not… I’m not proud,” he says. “I know the mark this’ll leave on my soul. But Jesus, darlin’, my soul was already black and damned before you met me. I’m willing to carry it. I’m willing to do whatever it takes if it means you’re still here with me. I don’t know what sort of man that makes me. Not a good one, that’s for sure. But I couldn’t just let them kill you. I couldn’t do that. Not for anything. The cure might save the world, or it might not. But I saved my world in that hospital. I had to. Please understand, baby… I had to.”

A tear rolls down his cheek. You catch it with the pad of your thumb even as your own face remains damp and awestricken. You don’t understand. You’re not sure you ever will. But you love him anyway, because you’ve never known somebody to fight for people the way he does, and he’s a good father, a good brother, even when he isn’t. Even when he’s forced to make bad choices, do bad things. He never pretends to be a hero, never asks for redemption.

But he’s asking you now — begging, even — to understand, because he loves you and because he couldn’t give up on you, and that means something. That means everything.

You press your lips to his, and they’re rough and shaky and new. He pulls you closer, clutching onto your shirt like it’s all he has to hold onto.

You don’t know what it means. You don’t know what happens next, or whether it’s right to go on living when you could be saving the world.

You only know that you’re not ready to die yet, not when there is so much of him left to love, and so much to experience with Ellie. God, you dread to think what she saw in that hospital.

“Is Ellie okay?” you ask tentatively as you pull away.

Joel glances into the car. “She needs you as much as I do.”

And you need them, more than you ever planned for. You lean into Joel’s chest and close your eyes, exhaustion weighing on your bones but fire kindled in your heart.

“C’mon, baby. Let’s go home,” he says into your hair.

The world is still broken, but you get to go home.

That has to be worth something.

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blueflipflops · 2 years

Text

Blessed is The Fruit of Thy Womb

tw: pregnancy, violence, dissociating

Inspired by @cyrwrites 's prompt which is just too good to not write about Talia being pregnant from the exposure from the Lazarus Pits. Saw the tag about "Damian having a complex due to danny's whole "Child of Lazarus" thing he's got going on" and ran with it. Also the religious allegations thing was inspired and I am so here for it. Ended up longer than i planned tho. Would probably add more to this. Enjoy.

...

Damian Al Ghul was born a prince. An heir. The blood son of Batman and Talia Al-Ghul. The grandson of the Demon Head.

He is to have the world presented to him in a silver platter even before he reaches his majority.

And yet... that's not quite right, now, isn't it?

Because for all the gift of genes he has in his body, for all the training he has ever endure ever since he learned how to walk... that is all he'll ever be.

A genetic experiment on how to get all the appealing genetic material from both parents and make it into a child.

His mother did not even bear him!

Pregnancy is too much of a hassle, too restrictive, too dangerous for her line of work. She need not be bothered to undergo the burdens of pregnancy when she can create a perfect child in a test tube.

Yet for all her complaints and stilted explainations, why...

Why does it seem like she cared more for the Child that grew itself in her womb?The one that came out of nowhere. The one she birthed herself. The one that Damian seemed to keep losing everything to.

Ever since his mother's womb grew with child with a distinct energy only felt in the Lazarus Pits, she has became estatic and raving. She had claimed that the Lazarus Pits has Chosen her to bear the fruit of its power. The one true heir. The Incarnate of Immortality and Power.

She claims all the honor and the pains that came with it. She became obssessed with the Child even before it was born. Even more when it was born male and familliar feeling of power emanating the infant. The Child opened its eyes with glowing Lazarus green eyes and the scent of death clinging to its blood covered flesh. It did not cry when it was born but just opened its eyes seemingly judging the worth midwife's life in the mortal realm. It must have deemed it unworthy as it is said that the stare looked straight to her soul and drove her mad. Damian never really knew who did the final blow. Was it his mother, the midwife herself or if it was his... brother just as rumored. Damian did not care to know any of that only that the midwife and several other helpers did died that day screaming and bloodied. Their corpses dumped over to the Pits as an offering.

The first time Damian had looked upon those cursed eyes where the first he had ever felt real fear in his life. In the very young age of 10 was he formally introduced to the Child. It looked like a human but distinctly not at the same time. Like an entity thats trying too hard to appear human but forgets what humans look like half the time.

The Child unsettles Damian.

It began its training about the same age as Damian did and unsurprisingly took on the skills easily as breathing. With abilities that seems to only get stronger with time and added training. It is not as perfect as his Mother praise it to be as it is said to go off in bouts of mad rage that seemed to only calm after blood has been spilt. This stopped being a problem after they found out that constant baths in the Pits have a similar enough effect without thinning their forces from the whims of the Child.

Slowly, no matter how hard Damian trains, no matter how successful he is in each obstacles or tests thrown his way, he will never get that Honor he was raised to believe was rightfully his. He was put to the side. Once a future leader now in a role of a follower.

Damian Al-Ghul is a prince. A warrior. An assassin. A spare. A bargaining chip against his father.

For all that the Child is younger than him by a mere year, Damian, with his obvious superior combination of genes, is less than the Child of Lazarus himself.

No matter.

There is one thing the Child cannot claim over him.

He is the blood son of Batman. Not him. Never him. Batman has no claim to the Child either as his mother ravingly repeated over and over again. (As if to remind him of his place.)

He is the only blood son of Batman after all. Not him. Damian need not share what is rightfully his.

No. Of course not.

That is why when his mother told him that he is to pack up his belongings to live and train with his father, Damian did not hesitate nor did he looked back.

His father will be different, he knows this. He will value him more than some demon child from the pits, he is sure. Even if he has to prove himself for it.

...

Danny is dissociating most of the time and feels like this is a very detailed hallucination post vivisection and cannot (dont want to) accept to awknowledge what is happening. He doesn't know what to do with himself if this was real. He has killed people here and sometimes in blind rage too. His core is very fragmented which means his memories are all over the place. Add that to his willful ignorance of the development of his apparent reincanation, he is very Messed Up.

To him, he is Danyal Al Ghul. Heir to the Demon Head, son of Talia Al Ghul, and Child of the Lazarus. But he is more than that, isn't he? He sees flashes of life before this. Of flight and action. Of family and friends. But that can't be right, can it? He feels like something else. Like someone else. But how can that be?

He emanated death energy all over because he can't control his emotions and powers as much as his teenager self. The ectoplasm in the air in the LOA's lair comes from the Lazarus Pits which is so corrupted from the amount of death, corpses, and heavily concentrated emotions, that it messes with Danny's head. He tried to get as much distance from the Pits as possible but Danny can't survive without ambient ectoplasm especially with his core being fragmented like this. When the stress got too much (which was often) he ends up in blind rage that only stops when someone dies and he hungrily absorbs up the ectoplasm from the freshly new corpse. And it goes over and over again until Danny decides that enough is enough. He doesnt want to not have complete control of his body nor does he want to kill more than what his new family is already making him to. He just has to suck it up and get his ectoplasm from the nearest available source: the Lazarus Pits.

After that, he stopped randomly killing people whenever he gets pissed. Being so hungry all the time, the ectoplasm from the pits started to become delicious to Danny but still. He tries to limit his consumption to the very minimum because it messes his head a bit wheter he notices it or not. So like 2-3 times a month. He stopped being deathly hungry.

His apparent "skill/genius" is just a abnormal one up from a normal child who had not lived half a lifetime growing up with a black belt ghost hunter mom who trains them to fight as mother-son bonding time. He didn't really go about it easily either. (Damian is just an unreliable narrator) He just instictively knows the basics and the theory but had to relearn how to do it in his new body that the League just polishes and sharpens to the max blinded by the idea of Danny being the Child of Lazarus. (Them being a cult and all) His hair becoming flame-like wisps and glowing eyes when angered did not help this theory. Nor did his inhuman strength and ghostly powers or his sharp teeth either. He seems to be able to use his powers even in his human form but ra's pissed him off so much one time he reverted to his ghost form...which became so twisted as the years has passed from all the trauma he has experienced and turned into a giant eldritch monster with way too many eyes and teeth, a cloud-like expanse of space and stars, and an Aurora Borealis encircled above his head like a crown. Ra's learned some lines drawn in the sand that day. He is overcome with both fear and poorly contained greed. His eyes dilated from the show of sheer power from this Child. Oh, how he hungers for it.

Danny, despite his nonexistent efforts, became a momma's boy. How can he not when his new mother showers him with love and affection near obssessively? His core subconsciously purrs in satisfaction from the attention despite the overall creepiness of the situation. His core imprinted on the woman already. Who cares if she's a bit crazy? His mother has always been a bit crazy. His memories of past!Maddie (pre-discovery/vivesection thingy) get muddled over and mixes up with memories of Talia which makes him latch onto her more. (Which Talia definitely encourages.) Because his mom is finally paying attention to him again :) she says she loves him :) and she doesn't want to rip him apart molecule by molecule :)))

(He knows. He asked! Although the words may have got tied up on his tongue and the question may have sounded more like a threat than what was intending to ask. But its all good! Surely his mother understood what he was trying to say because she immedietely hugged him and told him that she loved him very much and asked very nicely not to kill her. He is sure that they became closer after that. Talia is just thankful that her Child continues to recognize her as his Mother/Bearer and spared her from his usual rages. She is, of course, worth more than these other lowly mortals. Danyal is hers and hers only after all.)

...

Damian, on baby's first crisis: I am the blood son of Batman. The ONLY son of Batman. Surely I don't have to share him with others :)

Me, nervously looking over my shoulder to see a line of robins and robin-adjacent children that had at one point dressed up as a caped traffic light or another: ...uhhh...

Me, looking at the other side seeing Terry Mcginnis and Helena Bertinelli/Wayne playing rock paper sissors : yeah... about that...

Damian is very biased here. Because how the fuck is he going to compete with a fucking demon pit incarnate??? He's got a lot of thoughts about being replaced here which ha! New flavor of trauma for my baby bird. :)

Love giving Damian a complex :) Wanna put him in a jar of pickles and shake it :)

Also would love to see Damian will arrive ready to prove his worth only to find out that Batman is dead/missing/stranded in the timestream and how it will affect his new flavors of complexes and issues. Lol Oh to be a fly on the wall of the batcave when that happens. Wait dont they have bats there? Flies would get eaten—

Lol someone calls Damian a demon child once and he gets geniunely offended. He hisses back that he is not a Lazarus Pit Baby and thats how the batfam finds out about danny. They all panic at first thinking that not only did Bruce have another secret child but said child is apparently still with LOA. And boy would that do wonders to Damian's buried insecurities. Damian is going going to experience some Emotions and he's going to make it everyone's problem.

Like mother like son.

Talia and possibly Ra's POV next

Anyways, here are them tags:

@emergentpanda-blog @skulld3mort-1fan @rosecinnamonbun @ver-444 @learning-to-fly-on-my-own @dannyphantomphan @yasminerd00 @blep-23

#DPXDC #DCXDP #Child of Lazarus!Danny #Talia got pregnant from being exposed to the Lazarus Pits and immedietely assumes shes like a Chosen One or smthn #talia gets pregnant and makes it everyone's problem #<=that tag was from the prompt and it was too funny to not add #test tube baby!Damian #creepy ras al ghul #obssessive talia al ghul #like mother like son #tw: pregnancy #tw: violence #tw: dissociating #only mentioned

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laylajeffany · 6 months

Text

Llama, Llama Baby Drama | Wenclair One-Shot for @based7100

Summary: Enid gets an emergency call to babysit on a date night. When Wednesday shows up with intentions of having it anyway, they have a much-needed conversation about their future. (separate from my established Wenclair universe in CftF or Black Menagerie) WC: 4,979 (STILL UNDER 5K OKAY) Rated: All Ages

trigger warning: a baby

Prompted by @based7100, "Wednesday and Enid having the do you want kids talk" as part of my >5k writing (post-taxes) challenge

“Why is it sticky?” Wednesday asked with a grimace as Enid tickled the baby that was perched on her hip. The infant gave a loud squeal of laughter that drew a deeper cringe from Wednesday at the sudden pitch.

“She is sticky because she just ate, and I didn’t want you breaking and entering and setting off the home alarm! You’re lucky I have werewolf hearing, otherwise I would have made you be the one to settle her down.” Enid said with a smile of exasperation, opening the door wider, allowing Wednesday entry to a townhouse. Enid pressed buttons on a keypad when Wednesday came into the doorway of the space with some agitated trepidation. Monsters, serial killers – entering the lair of either would’ve brought her glee, but entering the space of an eight-month-old was like being dropped into a hostile landscape without adequate preparation.

She noted Enid in her stocking feet and untied her boots, staring up at Enid and the little she with unblinking eyes, attempting to assert her dominance in the small person’s home. Enid just rolled her own and gave Wednesday a peck on the cheek as she stood tall again, clutching her backpack strap. Enid looked at the entryway clock and added, “I’m going to get her cleaned up – it’s close enough to time – I’m going to get her in the bath if you wanna just make yourself comfortable! You’re like, forty minutes early, so don’t blame me that you’re bored!” The baby stuck her entire fist into her mouth, gurgling while a trail of saliva slipped her all the way down to her elbow. Again, Wednesday was sure she made a face, unable to help her disgust.

Make yourself comfortable was quite a loaded statement, as Wednesday didn’t have a portable bed of nails handy. She and Enid had their third Saturday night date cancelled in a row; the last minute “emergency” babysitting request coming through from a Normie family she’d made friends with in Jericho (really, Wednesday considered grandma falling down the stairs more of a coming of age event than an emergency) dampening a makeup date from a makeup date. Unable to tolerate three weeks in a row of a Saturday night without her girlfriend, Wednesday had cautiously accepted the invitation to come over after the baby was in bed. The child’s mother had said that was acceptable – and though she feared becoming a 80s movie babysitter cliché of making out on the couch while there was a killer outside, she’d taken the chance as the next week was supposed to be just as busy for the seniors at the end of their school year as they’d all been. (It was unlikely the house had a landline for anyone to ask if Enid had checked on the baby, anyway.)

Enid disappeared with her down the hall, using a different tone in her voice than usual to talk to the baby, who obviously couldn’t comprehend what she was saying regardless of her cadance. Staring after them for a long minute, Wednesday gave a tiny blink and took a look around – finding a stereotypical portrait of a family sitting in a field of leaves with their infant from the fall. The picture-perfect matchy-matchy white, suburban American aesthetic completely draining her before she even properly entered the home.

Exiting the foyer into the living area, she recoiled a touch at the explosion of color and plastic toys. Wishing she’d brought Thing to put him to work, she thought about perching herself on the edge of the wooden rocker in the room, not touching anything when she realized – if she didn’t pick up the toys while Enid was picking up the baby, it would just be that much longer before they’d be able to sit together on the plush loveseat under the window.

Wednesday let out a silent sigh, dropping her shoulders, taking a sharp glance around trying to figure out the organizational method when she realized – there wasn’t one. Unable to tolerate such a disaster, she began sorting the toys into piles, little rubbery blocks with forever chemicals laced into them together, tiny plastic people that probably had lead in the paint, and stuffed animals that had polyurethane filling which would outlive them all.

She found a few collapsible baskets that had never been put together near a stack of unopened mail on a bench, keeping everything separate as she got it off the floor. She rolled up the blankets, then went so far as to wipe down the tabletop when she couldn’t identify the crusty material that was gathered on top, using a deplorable smelling baby wipe.

It seemed like Enid at least hadn’t been forced to make anything for the baby, as there was just a spoon and a little plate in the sink and cleaning off the high chair tray. (Wednesday could handle blood spatter, entrails, and digging through bones, but honestly – the mush and droll were going to push her over the edge.) After putting everything that seemed dirty in the dishwasher, Wednesday followed the sounds of splashing and giggles to the bathroom down the hall.

Enid was on her knees in front of a tub, where the baby was in some sort of special seat. Not sure if she needed to avert her gaze for privacy, Wednesday almost disappeared but Enid shook her head, “You can come in! It’ll be a few minutes. Bailey loves to play in the water!”

Bailey. That was surely, the name of a dog, not a human child. Certainly – not an adult someday who needed to enter the workforce someday.

Avoiding yet another dramatic sigh out her nose, Wednesday hovered, her arms crossed as she stared the child down, who dropped her silly little face full of joy at the leer. Bailey frowned severely, suddenly – and Wednesday took the cue to leave, wandering into the baby’s nursery.

The room was surprisingly neutral, which Wednesday did appreciate with the lack of stereotypical pink. The baby’s crib was simple, and though Wednesday might’ve joked about smothering Enid in her sleep the first day they’d met, she knew that it was important to just keep a fitted sheet on so the baby didn’t manage to do so to themselves. There was a second rocking chair – a glider, in the corner, a small bookshelf, overflowing with titles, a dresser that seemed to be doubling as a changing table, based on the diapering supplies, and a few unopened boxes of toys that she probably wasn’t developmentally prepared to play with stacked in the corner. The walls had simple wooden, cut-out letters that read the girl’s name, and three photos above the dresser of her with the family, a few peel-and-stick bunnies at her eye-level beneath them.

Wednesday squatted down to examine the child’s literature selection, shaking her head in disapproval. How did they expect to raise a well-rounded child if she lacked the classics? There wasn’t a Homer, Miguel de Cervantes, Shakespeare, Stephen King, or even a single Orwellian novel on display. Her own father had been sure to get through all of the works of Poe and War and Peace before Wednesday had even left the womb!

Pulling out a few titles that didn’t sound horrendous, Wednesday shook her head at the modern children’s literature; thinking it was a damn shame that some of the best sellers clearly had no concept of rhythm. What a chore some of the books would be to have to read aloud, a near burden and waste of a tree’s time on earth.

She sat in the glider with a stack, ready to provide Enid with what she hoped would be interpreted as a humorous, critical review of some of the books, when her girlfriend came in with the baby all wrapped up in a towel, cheeks rosy – but significantly cleaner. “Forgive me, baby Bailey – I was so rude not to properly introduce you. This is Wednesday. Don’t mind the glare, that’s her friendly one.”

Wednesday was about to start her joke reception of Brown Bear, Brown Bear but Enid kept talking. She took out a yellow onsie with ducks on it, placing Bailey on her back on the changing pad, giving that same high, fake voice that was just so grating, even from someone she loved. “Okay, sweet baby – let’s get all dry…yeah, we’ll dry your little feet-feet-feet,” The baby kicked and laughed while Enid kept going, rubbing the towel along her. “And your legs-legs-legs,” She shifted into sing-song, “And your belly-belly-belly, and your arms-arms-arms…”

It went on for so long. Wednesday just continued to watch the spectacle, as she started with a disposable diaper and then worked her into the front-zipper pair of baby pajamas. “All done!” She waved her hands in a way that Wednesday knew was sign-language, and the baby copied it. Enid kissed her all over her face, making Baily whirl in happy sounds and Wednesday was sure, she was glowering, unable to help her jealousy – even if it was a baby she was being paid to watch getting Enid’s physical and emotional attention.

Finally, Enid completed the scene, looking at Wednesday with a seriously sort of expression. “We’re almost done. Can you hang in there?” She asked, using nearly the same voice that she had for the baby. Practically growling, she was about to stand up, when Enid developed an evil sort of twinkle in her eye and came forward, depositing Bailey suddenly onto Wednesday’s lap. Thankfully – she had some sort of protective instinct, and her reflexes kicked in before she could let the baby fall backwards. She went to make a snide, argumentative comment, but Enid just wasn’t having it. “Start reading to her, I’ll make her bottle, and we can be done in half the time.”

“Enid – I can’t –!?”

“Read?” She teased sassily, putting her hands on her hips, perching a brow. “Nice try. Here, she loves this one,” She reached down to a paperback (the very feeling of the thin cardboard cover making Wednesday’s skin crawl) with a worried looking farm animal on top.

Before she could protest again, Enid adjusted Bailey more in Wednesday’s lap, putting her back closer to her chest. Bailey looked at Wednesday with as much certainty as she returned, looking like she was about to cry. “Start reading and she’ll totes be fine.”

“Enid, I swear –”

At the empty threat, Enid dashed out of the room and down the hall. Wednesday let out a breath, grumbling, “Llama, Llama, Red Pajama…creative. Endlessly, creative.”

With a sigh, she started to read and Bailey settled at the familiar rhyme. Wednesday followed through, managing to go for the first few pages until she read, “Llama, Llama, red pajama feels alone without his mama. Baby Llama wants a drink…oh, no. No, no, no. This Llama is playing games with his caregiver and she needs to ignore him before she develops horrific behavior cycles that take years to break. Next thing she knows, she’s going to have nine-year-old llama walking in on mama and dada llama fornicating and traumatizing him like Pugsley because they never put an end to his bedtime drama. Oh, llama, drama – I suppose that’s nearly clever.”

Sighing, she flipped through the pages to find that indeed, the mother gave into the child’s tantrum and Wednesday snapped the book shut. Reaching into a stack, she pulled out another title. “Fine, Corduroy. At least Lisa understands that the value of something doesn’t lay necessarily in the perceived perfection of it, but in what it means to the individual. This is a better message for you to internalize.”

With that, she found herself actually gliding the chair back and forth, starting and finishing the story. Bailey yawned and gave a clap at the end, looking up at Wednesday, squeezing her hands open and shut.

Enid gave an amused chuckle from the doorway, shaking a bottle. “It’s right here, sweet girl.” Bailey kicked her little feet and reached her hands for it. Enid gave her the bottle and she held it with one hand, using the other to twirl at her own, light-brown hair as her eyes instinctively went half shut, but turned back to the book. Wednesday tried to hand her over, but Enid winked. “I think you’ve got this. Look, she’s relaxing on you!”

“I don’t like this,” Wednesday grumbled, but didn’t fight it too hard, not wanting to make the baby choke. In general, she wasn’t about to be the good Samaritan to help somebody experiencing that in public, as it seemed like a solid natural consequence, but she didn’t want to be the reason that Enid lost her babysitting gig. (She stubbornly refused to always allow Wednesday to pay for things and insisted on odd jobs around town to make her own money.)

“You’re doing great,” Enid promised, kneeling at her side, putting a hand on Wednesday’s knee. “It’s good to challenge yourself to do things that make you uncomfortable.”

She flickered her gaze down to the hand on her knee, wishing it were elsewhere on her body… “Give me another book,” She demanded as the baby was practically guzzling her bedtime bottle.

With two more selections (far better choices for her interest level of reading aloud to an infant – though she swore, if she ever ended up coming again, she’d bring some proper literature), Wednesday closed the third story up and looked at Enid, who was looking at her with…

…fondness? Desire? She couldn’t quite read the emotion. As the baby finished, Wednesday passed her over to Enid, where she curled instinctively into her neck, holding onto her shoulder with a contented sigh. Watching the sight herself for a long moment, she started to feel a strange discomfort and took the empty bottle, excusing herself as Enid started to pat her back and rock her to sleep.

With simple deduction in the kitchen that the bottle required to be hand-washed, Wednesday completed the task, then found Enid’s phone on counter. Unlocking it and logging into her own account for a food delivery application, she placed an order for a local favorite that was still open at the evening hour, and wrote threatening instructions not to knock or ring the bell. If that baby woke once it was placed in the crib, so help her…

It was hardly ten minutes later that Enid stepped out of the room with a little monitor in her hand, placing it on the end table that had little rubber bumpers on the corners, giving a stretch and a yawn before looking at the stiff-sitting Wednesday fondly.

“Hey,” She greeted, plopping herself down on the loveseat, turning right into her.

“Howdy,” Wednesday spoke in reply. “Is the small gremlin asleep?”

Rolling her eyes again, Enid put a hand on Wednesday’s cheek, turning it towards her to press a long, sweet kiss on her lips. “She’s out. Thanks to your help. I appreciate it.”

“I have been told I have a soothing reading voice,” Wednesday spoke of herself, squaring her shoulders a little bit. “I would still prefer to have been at the steakhouse and then stargazing in the cemetery with you, though.”

“I know,” Enid wrinkled her nose. “I’m sorry. I’d usually say no to a same day request – but nana in the E.R. is a pretty valid reason. Imagine poor Bailey stuck there with them all night? She’d have been miserable.”

“You seem to do a good job at keeping her happy. I claim she’s still sticky, though.”

“Wednesday, she’s a baby,” Enid gave a tired chuckle, leaning back on the couch, intertwining their hands. “Thank you for being willing to even come over. I thought you might give me the silent treatment tonight.”

“I considered it,” She said honestly. “But…with time fleeting from us so quickly these days, only a month left until graduation – it seems prudent to spend as much time together as we possibly can, even if it includes minors.”

“Hopefully it’s a one-time thing. I told Bailey’s mama when I got here, I think that emergencies-pending, I’m tapping out for the rest of the year. There’s way too much fun left to be had and I don’t want to regret missing out for cash.”

“As I have repeatedly insisted, it is unnecessary. But I understand the desire to be productive and contribute to capitalism in your own way. I do hope you told her, she’s not allowed to have any emergencies next weekend.”

Giving almost a purr of a sound, Enid traced Wednesday’s jaw. “Not when I’ve convinced you to be my date to the Dark Prom.”

“As if I’d let you go alone,” Wednesday let out a little breath through her nose. “I’ve ordered dinner, so we can still have a touch of our date tonight as well.”

“Thank you,” Enid said quietly, kissing her again. “Hey…while we wait for that…let’s chat, since the topic is indirectly here, anyway.”

At the sound of sincere need for a challenging conversation, Wednesday’s defenses immediately went up. “Or I could pull you onto my lap and have you put your tongue in my mouth.”

“Well, I’m going to do that, anyway,” Enid giggled, straddling her to prove the point, giving her a long kiss. Thinking she was off the hook, Wednesday went to slide her hands along her back, just above her hot-pink pants, when Enid caught them and brought them together near her chest, pushing a kiss to her fingers. “We should talk.”

“We should keep doing that.”

“I’m serious,” Enid said quietly. “Look, I love you, so much. But – you’ve been very clever and used incredible evasive tactics each time we’ve tried to have a chat on any sort of serious front like the one that we really need to.”

Feeling trapped, Wednesday’s heartrate doubled in speed and she had to exercise every molecule of self-restraint she had not to shove her girlfriend to escape the situation. “I know, you’re not afraid of anything, but the future…it’s nerve wracking to think about. And, unfortunately – it’s really only a month away. I love you. I know that I love you, and I know that you love me, too. But we do need to start talking about what we want in life beyond just that we love each other. For your mom and dad, it was so easy – as they graduated Nevermore, they just ran off on trips and quests and got married and had more fun than they knew what to do with. We already know that our lives are going to be different than that. So…I just want to talk about that, a little bit – before we makeout anymore, okay?”

“Enid…” Wednesday tried to avoid her gaze. “I didn’t come over her to make things difficult, I thought since you would put the baby to sleep by seven-thirty, we could just spend time together-”

“We are. We will. But…Wednesday – do you want to have babies with me someday?”

Feeling like the springs in the couch cushions had just given out, popped her off and through the roof – Wednesday knew the color drained right out of her face, her eyes glazed over and when no words could form in her throat –

“Hey, hey…” Enid put her hands on her cheeks, snapping her awareness back. She pushed a sweet kiss to Wednesday’s lips and tilted her head. “Stay with me. I think that I’ve got my answer.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Wednesday responded with far more hostility than she needed to.

“Okay, okay…” Enid lifted her hands up in defense and sighed. “I’m sorry. That was so not a good way to lay that out there. But I’ve been trying to ask you more direct questions for months and you always avoid them, Wednesday. It’s frustrating! I want to plan for the future, and I want a future with you. I just want to know what that means.”

Wednesday swallowed thickly, trying not to feel overwhelmed and guilty. Her pulse was throbbing in her ears, her palms were sweaty –

“I told my mother that I would never be like her. I would never be a housewife, or a mother.”

There was a flicker on Enid’s face. Barely there, but obvious to the girl who knew her the most, who knew her the best, who loved her more than she’d ever thought possible.

“I mean, we’d be working, no doubt,” Enid said through a bubble of barely concealed emotion. “I can’t see you ever just wanting to sit about at home, and even if you were, you’d be writing or composing music or solving contracted murder cases, for sure…”

Cutting off her ramble as guilt was the next emotion that she started to experience, Wednesday hated how her harsh could snap out Enid’s light so quickly, even when she tried to hide it. “I…didn’t mean…Enid, when you just throw these things at me, I’m bound not to have an eloquent speech planned.”

“Well,” Enid shrugged, biting her lip. “We’ve talked about being married. That it might be possible for us. Just know – I’m open to having a family with you. Whether that’s us and a disembodied hand and a one-eyed cat, or us and a little…human-person, you know, I’m open to it. Just so you know.”

Getting a little lost in her comment, Wednesday popped a questioning brow. “Why would the cat only have one eye?”

Enid recoiled a little. “You seriously think you’d have a normal pet? Be real, Wednesday. The one-eyed cat would be a sign that he’s a street fighter. That’s way more your style than a cuddly, perfect Persian.”

Wanting to acknowledge the other part of Enid’s sentence, she found words locked in her throat again. She gave a shrug and balled her hands into fists at either side of Enid’s ankles on the couch.

“We know we have the next four years together, so like – this isn’t a convo that has to happen right now, I guess. I’ve just…read, that the longer a couple takes to talk about their wants and desires for the future, the more challenging it is if those things are different from one another. I don’t want things to be challenging with you. I love you. And I want to know – your wants, so that…I can prepare myself for making them happen.”

She leaned forward and initiated a kiss and Wednesday immediately felt her heart rate drop. After letting it go on long enough that her hair was a little messy in the back from Wednesday’s wandering hands, Enid pulled away with a wink, wanting to check the baby monitor. “Oh, she’s out. I had her outside until just before she needed dinner. The fresh air always does that.”

Just as Wednesday was about to try and tug her in for more affection, an alert on Enid’s phone indicated that the food had arrived. She deactivated and reset the alarm after securing it in her hands. “It’s no steak, but carne asada will totally do instead of whatever frozen post-partum diet food Bailey’s mama has in the freezer. Ick.”

Wednesday rolled her eyes. “A mother feeling pressure to return to her pre-pregnancy size is such a horrific societal pressure that needs to be popped.”

Enid brought them plates and forks, giving an approving sigh. “I know, right? Like – you just grew a whole-ass human! Give yourself a minute, mama – you just performed a miracle, and you should appreciate your body.”

Biting back a comment befitting her father of appreciating Enid’s body, Wednesday thanked her for the dinnerware and served them, listening to Enid blather about how excited she was for the following weekend and all the songs she hoped the DJ would play, singing a few dramatically to remind Wednesday of how they went (as if she could forget the earworms).

After taking care of the dishes and putting the leftovers in the fridge, Wednesday knelt in front of Enid as she flipped through a streaming app, knowing it would be some time before she landed on something for them to watch.

When she put her hands on Enid’s knees, the same way that Enid had done when she was rocking the baby, Wednesday locked eyes on hers. Enid dropped the remote. “You okay?” She asked in a serious, worried way, rubbing her shoulder.

Nodding, Wednesday let out a breath through her nose and shrugged. “I’m open…to whatever feels right for us.”

Enid lowered her hand from her shoulder to take Wednesday’s both in hers. “You don’t have to say that just because I said it first,” She promised. “I meant it as in, there’s no pressure, like - one way or the other. I’m serious. I just want a life with you.”

“What if we found a two eyed cat…and a one-eyed child at the same time?”

Blinking, Enid smirked. “I’m not sure what circumstances would lead to that, but of course. I don’t care how many eyes a kid has. If it feels like they’re part of our family, of course they should join it!”

Wednesday gave a curt nod, finding the words that had been locked away. “I don’t know that I’d ever want to carry a child. Physically, I mean – in utero. It seems like a distressing invasion of my personal space that I’m not sure I would ever recover from, and not due to societal standards of looking a certain, outward way afterwards.”

Enid’s eyes grew a watery sheen to them. “Of course, Wednesday. We’d never put you through something that made you uncomfortable that way. I’m, ugh,” She groaned. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable by practically forcing you to hold baby Bailey earlier. That was wrong, I’m s-”

“That was an okay sort of discomfort,” Wednesday promised. She’d very much survived that moment. “It’s good to prove to myself that I can be gentle sometimes. But…maybe – if we don’t happen upon any orphans with limb differences who need space in our home, and you feel that you would like to carry a child and technology advances in such a way that it is possible for them to share our genetic makeup and we have space and have open hearts and we decide it’s what’s best for us and our family in our situation -”

Enid cut off her near-breathless ramble with a very sweet kiss. “I love you. I love this. Keeping our hearts open. That’s all I wanted to know, Wednesday.” She beamed at her. “You did a great job with Bailey, tonight.”

“You’re the natural. I would likely have a large learning curve.”

Enid raised a brow. “I’m not so sure. I think if it was a child of your own, not one already on a firm schedule and routine, you’d be quite instinctive. What aren’t you good at Wednesday?”

“Engaging in conversations and expressing my feelings,” She muttered as she proved that very point that night.

“Well, it’s not your strength, but both are totally mine, so – that’s where you lean on me, because I’m your partner, who loves you. And,” She kissed her again. “I appreciate you, coming out here tonight, just to spend this time with me like we’d planned. And having this tough talk. I love you. Come put your butt on this couch so I can sit on you and kiss you again.”

Not needing to be told twice, Wednesday took that direction very well, enjoying about twenty minutes of heated kisses, heavy petting and almost a little bit more when a fussing sound came from the monitor.

Enid groaned as she pulled away. “Right now, my heart is so not open to this,” She giggled.

Wednesday smirked, following her, having an idea as they moved to the nursery. Bailey was crying, mostly asleep, but wanting…something.

“I’ll change her real quick,” Enid whispered, nodding, “That bedtime bottle will run right through a baby.”

As Bailey whined and grumbled when Enid made to lay her back down in the crib, letting out a loud cry that made Wednesday wince, she shook her head, reaching her arms out. “I’ll talk to her.”

With an amused smirk, Enid passed her over and Wednesday sat back in the gliding chair, holding her awkwardly in front of her, explaining to the baby, who stopped, staring at her with exhausted eyes, “You’re fine. You’re safe. You’re warm. You’re full. You’re dry. You have everything you need, except about ten more hours of sleep. So, I’m going to rock you, and in five minutes, I’m putting you back in the crib, and you’re going to sleep. Do you understand?”

It was as if the baby said ‘yes’ when she gave a coo, reaching forward. Wednesday gave a curt nod. “That’s the rule. Five minutes of rocking, then back to bed.”

With the firm expectation set, she brought Bailey up to her shoulder the way she’d seen Enid do earlier. She snuggled right in, surprisingly – and thankfully – she wasn’t overtly sticky or snotty, as Enid had wiped her face pretty well after changing her. Gliding back and forth and patting her back, Wednesday thought that perhaps – if she had a beautifully haunting Russian composition playing softly in the background, it would help her stay asleep – adding that to her mental toolbox of notes in case the situation ever arose for her to develop a routine with a baby…

As she expected, once she’d put her foot down with the rule, Bailey knocked out on her shoulder. Enid whispered and motioned for how to transfer her into the crib, and as she did so, onto her back, Wednesday almost smiled at their tag-team success.

Back in the hallway, Enid winked and gave her a kiss. “You are a natural, Wednesday. You just do things in your own way. Now come here,” She gripped her collar, making Wednesday flush. “I’m about to have my own way with you.”

#wednesday 2022 #fanfic #oneshot #wenclair #author hates babies #thank you for the prompt this was so easy to write I did half of it on my prep period today lol #also fuck llama llama so hard #he's banned in my classroom as is Pete the damn Cat and Skippy Jon Jones #layla's >5k challenge

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