#incorrect shantae

[incorrectshantaequotes]

[During Pirate's Curse]

Shantae: Risky, I'd like a word-!

Risky: How about "scram?" Or two words, "scram, brat?" Or seventeen: "get out of my quarters in two point three seconds or I'll staple you to a flagpole!"

Shantae:

Shantae: How did you count-oh, never mind!

[forthedancingandthethriving]

Whimpu: I have decided I’m going to learn Sspanish!

Juliano: Oh! ¡Excelente!

Whimpu: I- I haven’t started yet.

----

Bob: This morning, I found a glass of water with a note on it that said “for hangover me”.

Bob: So I drank it. Turns out it was vodka and drunk me is an asshole.

----

Mario: I don’t always make the best decisions.

*Earlier..*

Luigi: What is that?

Mario: An alpaca! I got the last one!

----

SMG3: I love you.

SMG4: You literally just told me I was the bane of your existence yesterday.

SMG3: That’s an unrelated fact.

----

Phobos: If the Abyss doesn't appear out of nowhere to stop me, then it can't be that bad.

Abyssal: If our creator is approving of this, then it can't be THAT GOOD.

----

Ash: Did I get so tired that I declared myself the King of all Pokémon?

Miku: If I said no, I'd be lying to the King of all Pokémon.

----

Cody: Aw man.. I really wanted to head into the zoo. Too bad it's closed.

Lil Coding: You know what they say.

Cody: Please don’t-

Lil Coding: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*

----

Phobos: They say if you seek revenge, you should dig two graves.

The Abyss: That's a stupid quote.

The Abyss: I'm going to kill way more than two people.

----

Sora: It's locked. You got a lock pick?

Tulip: Yeah-

Laharl: *kicks in the door*

----

Jayin: I love being right. It’s one of my favorite personality traits.

----

Juliano: You know, I think my life has value.

Phobos: Who are you and what have you done with Juliano?

----

Tama, holding out a cookie for Nimbus: Look! This one's a heart, that’s how I feel about you!

Nimbus: *quietly crying*

----

Ambrosia, affectionately: You’re an idiot.

Nimbus: That’s the charm!

----

Irene: I hate you with every inch of my body right now.

Nightmare King: That’s not a lot of inches.

----

Shantae: Can we talk about that text you sent?

Laharl: Why? It was important.

Shantae: It just says, "I'm back on my shit".

Laharl, shrugging: The people need to know.

[duckapus]

Shantae: *looking at herself in a mirror with shock and disbelief* I...how!?

Ashley: *sitting nearby looking very smug*

Tulip: *doing something on her phone* I told you not to underestimate him.

Shantae: But...but all the- *gestures to where her ponytail would normally be*

Ashley: I mainly learned how to do this from Jessie, remember?

Shantae: You didn't cut my hair I know you didn't cut my hair I'd have beat you within an inch of your life if you'd tried HOW DO I HAVE AN UNDERCUT!?

Sky, just outside the room: Alright Tulip, what'd you want to show- *walks in and sees Shantae, who thanks to Ash's crossdressing skills looks like an extremely pretty biker dude. Sky completely fails to recognize "him" and is clearly very attracted* Well, hello handsome.

Shantae: *gives her a flat stare* Sky it's me.

Sky: *there's a glass shattering sound effect as she visibly bluescreens*

Tulip and Ashley: *burst out laughing*

Shantae: *glares at her friends before chuckling and walking off* I'm gonna go see what Rotty thinks of this getup.

Sky: *slowly falls over stiff as a board while Tulip and Ashley are still losing it in the background*

[fang-feraligatr-blog]

Incorrect, Shantae knows she's hot, she just acts on it differently than Bayonetta

[incorrectshantaequotes]

Bolo: I'm so embarrassed, because I was walking down the sidewalk, and a rat was just walking right next to me, and it looked like we were together.

Coral Siren: Did you consider that maybe the rat was embarrassed, too?

[incorrectshantaequotes]

Risky: Hmph! If you wanted straight answers, you should've asked a straight lady.

[incorrectshantaequotes]

[Rottytops is relaxing with a cup of coffee when Shantae bursts into the room, visibly distraught]

Shantae: Rotty, I've done something terrible!

Rottytops: Woah, it's okay, snackcakes! I have a shovel.

Shantae: ...wait. What do you think I did?

Rottytops: It doesn't matter. No one will ever know.

[incorrectshantaequotes]

Sky: I don't know how to tell myself we're not all gonna get killed.

Shantae: We're a lot less cocky this time-

Sky: Except Nega.

Shantae: And everyone actually cares about each other!

Sky: Except Nega. And Risky.

Shantae: Ah, Risky cares somewhere deep down! I'm working on Risky.

Sky: But not Nega?

Shantae: No, she'd murder us all for ten gems and a donut.

[incorrectshantaequotes]

Rottytops: Hey, do you guys know where I can get one of those gold necklaces with a T on it?

Sky: That's a cross.

Rottytops: Across from where?

[incorrectshantaequotes]

Rottytops, visibly drunk: Heeeeeeeey Sky! Have you tried these drinks? They're supposedly "artismal," which I think means strong or something!

Sky: ...how many of those has she had?

Abner: If you can believe it, that's her first.

[incorrectshantaequotes]

Risky: What are you all doing here!?

Shantae: You didn't think we would give up that easily, did you?

Risky: That's exactly what I thought. I'm genuinely surprised to see you here.

[incorrectshantaequotes]

Bolo, showing off an incredibly barebones room: Women hate how little it takes for us to be happy.

Zapple: Nothing wrong with keeping it simple, but the least I'd do is add a bed frame.

Bolo: I don't deserve a bed frame.

[incorrectshantaequotes]

Hypno Baron: How has magic changed my life?

[Hypno Baron flashes back to when he was young and reading a spellbook]

Hypno Baron, reading aloud: This spell detects anyone who hasn't washed their hands since last using the bathroom.

[Back in the present]

Hypno Baron: Before I learned magic, I used to like people.

[incorrectshantaequotes]

[Hypno Baron is reading Bolo's mind to interrogate him. The first image that pops into his head is two women in swimsuits]

Hypno Baron: What are you, a schoolboy? Are women all you ever think about!?

Bolo: Then, how about this?

[The next image to pop into Bolo's head is of two men in swimsuits]

[incorrectshantaequotes]

[Bolo is helping out a small child]

Small child: Did you find my jumprope?

Bolo: No, not yet.

Small child: Okay. I'm only completely devastated, but no pressure.

[incorrectshantaequotes]

Vinegar: It's no use, Twitch! The door's frozen shut!

Twitch: Here, let me give it a try...

[Twitch walks up to the door, spits in her palms, rubs them together, and then thrusts out her hands in front of the door]

Twitch: OPEN SESAME!

[Nothing happens. Twitch turns back to Vinegar]

Twitch: Well, I've done all I can do.