#incorrect shadowhunters quotes

[overheardinidris]

Alec, slightly delusional from blood loss: You have… beautiful eyes..

Magnus, flustered: He's lost his mind!

[dayque]

Magnus is like "Shadowhunters are annoying creatures" and then proceeds to save every generation's ass, marry a angel son and raise his own mini shadowhunter

[culiehua]

Magnus: Sir, you are honorbound to protect these kids. Can you handle that?

Chairman: meow

[kaitcreates]

Magnus: Guys, seriously don't do paintball as a double date. It's a bad bonding activity and some people are too good at it. Lily: I don't know what you're talking about, Mark and I are best friends now. Magnus: That's because you two just gooffed off in the woods while I was being hunted for sport by my boyfriend.

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Alec: So, what’s your type? Magnus: Dark-haired, blue eyes, goth outfits, dense and shorter than me. Alec: That sounds like me, but too bad I am not a girl ^-^ Magnus: Did I mention dense? Alec: Yes. Magnus: Just checking.

[marrr444]

Belial: My grandchildren accused me of favoritism.

James:

Lucie:

Everyone:

Belial: It is quite true, the girl version of my grandson is utterly useless to me.

[balladofbells]

Tessa: bro your relationship with your parabatai is borderline homosexual and I think that’s beautiful

Will and Jem:

[matthewfairchildssilverflask]

Imagine Will Heronadale being told he needs to scan the QR code to order at a restaurant-

[justarandomgirly]

Magnus: You can stay.

Alec: Cool.

Magnus: But your clothes must go.

[cityofdownwardspirals]

*after Malec break-up*

Jace: Hey, I am going to the store, do you want anything?

Alec, in tears: Magnus...

Jace, turning his pockets inside out: Dude, I have like... 5 dollars.

[mangoob]

It took five years and everyone banging their heads against a wall for him and Simon to get together

Text is from a fuckin quora video I watched that place is wild

[overheardinidris]

Magnus: I want to wake up next to you every day for the rest of our lives.

Alec: I wake up at 4:30 am.

Magnus: …

Magnus: I want to see you every day for the rest of our lives.

[dayque]

Alec: Okay, the kids' snack is in the refrigerator, their schedules are written here, they can watch TV but don't leave them unattended for too long and for no, but NO, reason do you let them take a nap. If they sleep their sleep cycle will be a disaster later.

Jace: Bro, relax, everything's going to be okay.

*Magnus in the other room*

Magnus: Okay. Let's go over it.

Rafael: Lunch at 1, snack at 3:30 and dinner when you return. Not eating anything Uncle Jace cooks, not leaving the house to hunt demons even if he says it's safe, and we can't play jumping on the furniture or walls either. We can't do dangerous spells that involve...

Max: I know! I know!

Rafael: But I'm saying it!

Magnus: Let him say one part, go ahead Blueberry.

Max: I can't do spells that involve: fire, breaking things even if they are small, summoning animals that do tsss, or psss, or ksss *putting hands in the shape of little claws*, levitating or summoning demons.

Rafael: We also can't listen to Uncle Jace if he has a new idea about a spell we've never done before.

Magnus: Very good! I am so proud of my little sweets, and what do we do if there is an emergency and daddy or Bapa can't come help?

Both: Call Aunty Catarina and Aunty Clary to save Uncle Jace.

[culiehua]

Magnus: Unhand me you egg-sucking, lily-livered, jive-talking whackadoo! Foul villain! Cur! I bite my thumb at thee, you ugly motherfucker, so hasta la bye-bye, daddy-o!

Asmodeus:

Asmodeus: just tell me to fuck off like a normal child

[the-ultimate-obsessive-fangirl]

Magnus-alec I need to confess something

Alec-whats that love?

Magnus- I think I like you in more than a friend way

Alec- magnus, darling, sweetheart LITERAL LOVE OF MY LIFE

Magnus- what?!

Alec- we've been married for 50 years....

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Clary: Jace would throw himself in front of a car for you. Alec: Jace would throw himself in front of a car just for fun.