#incorrect quotes supernatural balthazar

[super-incorrect]

Y/n - Can you teach me how to hoe?

Balthazar - Rude

Y/n - .....

Balthazar, sips tea - But yes.

[comfycuddles]

Some more quotes of my dumbass friends that I think fit supernatural characters

Gaberiël: Zeus, make Switzerland number 1, and my life is yours!

Bobby: I don't get this whole racist/sexism thing. I mean. Black people are shit, white people are shit, men are shit, women are shit, straight people are shit, gay people are shit. Everyone is equally shit. Deal with it.

Jack: My parents took my phone, and now all my snap-streaks are ruined. Now I feel like curling up in a little ball and cry.

Sam: Hey, remember when we had hopes and dreams and shit?

Dean: No...

Garth: I'm listening to my chicken nuggets in the fryer.

Kevin: School will start at 7:55. Somebody please end my life so I can die well-rested.

Dean: So what are we going to do?

Cas: *eating a gummybear* Drugs, like the bad bitches we are.

Claire: *Looking stressed*

Jody: What's wrong?

Claire: I fucked up.

Jody: What did you fuck up?

Claire: Life.

Dean: Which chipmunk do you think fits my personality?

Crowley: Theodore.

Dean: Why?

Crowley: Because you're always stuffing your fucking face. Which one am I?

Dean: Alvin.

Crowley: Why?

Dean: Because you can't shut the fuck up.

Sam: You still sleep with stuffed animals?

Charlie: I don't want them to be lonely...

Sam: So today, my hallway crush joined our table because there were no more seats left. I didn't realize this. So the first words my hallway crush has heard me say were: "No, I'm telling you. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson are superduperfuckingmegajumbo gay for each other. Unrelated note: Who wants to set me on fire?

Meg: People who commit murders really have no brain whatsoever. Use gloves people, they can detect fingerprints now!

Charlie: Every day you find out new stuff about yourself. Today I discovered my love for Winnie The Pooh.

Kevin: Don't you have like 40 teddy's of the Winnie The Pooh gang?

Charlie: Well America was always there as well, that still doesn't mean they didn't discover it!

Charlie: No, you don't understand. I NEED a big, floppy coat so that when I run it flaps behind me like a superhero cape.

Lucifer: I hate coffee, It's too bitter.

Balthazar: So? Fits with your personality.

[elasgottoomuchfreetime]

*after the Squad has been separated for a few years*

Balthazar: So what have you been up to recently?

Castiel: Leading a revolution with Dean.

Balthazar: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob.

Castiel: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome!

Balthazar: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Gabriel?

Castiel: Happily living his exile in Vegas. Anna?

Balthazar: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break her out later. Lucifer?

Castiel: Cult leader.

Balthazar: Yeah, that sounds about right.

[ovulatingwatermelon]

Adam: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. Michael: Okay, but what is updog? Cas: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. Dean: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Gabriel: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Sam: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Adam: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Dean: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. Cas: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. Michael: What’s a henway?? Adam: Oh, about five pounds.

Adam: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat* Michael: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents Adam: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you Cas: Actually I did the math, Michael would have $225, not $0.15. Michael: Fam I’m right here.... Dean: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :) Adam: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please? Dean: Sorry I only have a dollar Adam: :( Cas: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Michael would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent Dean: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice Cas: You can buy anything you want with $22,500 Gabriel: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice Cas: Apply juice to what Sam: Directly to the forehead Michael: Great chat everyone

After Gabriel and Adam taught Michael and Cas what vine is (Balthazar already knew what vine was)

Adam: Croissants: dropped Michael: Road: works ahead Cas: BBQ sauce: on my titties Balthazar: Shavacado: fre Gabriel: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead Raphael: Raphael, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

[diabolimeservavit666]

🍷Sorry, He Would, Though🍷

Gabriel: *at a bar, as Balthazar's wingman, pointing out a lady to his little brother* Balthazar: *speaking loud enough for the whole bar to hear* I wouldn't fuck that! Gabriel: *curls over in laughter, having forgotten that this brother in particular is, well, gay* Balthazar: *in a low voice* Now, that fine gentleman over there, I might- *glances at Sam* Gabriel: Oh, Hell no! He's mine! You can have Dean. Balthazar: I'd rather not. Is Adam available? Gabriel: No, he's Michael's. But I do know a single British guy who could use a good hook up. Balthazar: What's his name?

[give-bucky-his-boyfriend-back]

So I saw this interview with Misha Collins and Sebastian Roché about Castiel's and Balthazar's true forms and I had to do this

Cas: You two are weird

Dean: Oh we are the weird ones?? Mister "My true form has a Zebra head"

Cas:

Sam: You didn't think we'd forget about that one right?

[incorrectspnquotess]

michael: dammit, gabe!

gabe: what?! it wasn’t me!

michael: sorry, force of habit. dammit, luci!

luci: not me either.

michael: oh... then who set the house on fire?

balthazar: *whistles*

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Kidnapper: I have your kid-

Michael: which one

Kidnapper:

Kidnapper: The… the French one??

Micheal: keep him

Balthazar, in the background: Can we go to McDonald’s

Kidnapper, crying: please come get him

[godofstory]

Lucifer: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME?!

Chuck: THAT'S MY OPINION!!!

Michael:

Gabriel:

Raphael:

Balthazar:

Castiel:

the whole world:

[impala67-aka-baby]

Gabriel: I came as soon as I heard

Gabriel: is it true that Lucifer's dying?

Michael:

Michael: You sound too hopeful

[shadystarlightgentlemen]

I love how in almost every post on Tumblr, there’s a supernatural reference or gif. It doesn’t matter what the post is about, it can be about frogs or a completely different fandom and there could be a gif of Crowley laughing with ‘giggly demon sounds’ underneath. Someone could be talking about something weird they saw at Walmart and suddenly everyone is talking about how Crowley would be wearing a white suit, drinking a martini, and belting “I Bet On Loosing Dogs” by mitski on a table on Dean and Cass’ wedding while Sam is trying to drag Gabriel off of a chair before he does a belly flop into the cake and Balthazar is wearing cheesy summer sunglasses recording Lucifer and Michael fighting over who gets to sit next to the bar.

[ineffableuser]

I… had a little fun

[screaming-bunnies]

Our stab wound

Dean: I’m fine! Jesus, Sam, give me a break!

Sam: *hyperventilating* YOU HAVE BEEN STABBED, DEAN, THIS IS NOT FINE!

Dean: IS IT OUR STAB WOUND? HUH? NO, SO LEAVE ME AND MY BLEEDING ALONE!

Sam: *exhasperated* That’s it. I’m done. *closes his eyes*

Dean: Wha- just like that?

Sam: *mumbles something*

Dean: Sam? Sam what are you doing?

Sam: *gives him a bitchface and continued mumbling*

Dean: *panic* Sam?

Cas: *full angel voice, glowing* d E A N W I N C H E S T E R, H A V E Y O U B E E N S T A B B E D ?

Dean: jESuS fuCKIng cHRiSt!

[dean-and-sam-says]

Supernatural as SafeAuto’s “Terrible Quotes” , Part 4 of 4

[whymustipickone]

Spn Chirstmas incorrect quotes part 3 (Angels only edition!)

Lucifer: Merry Christmas Fuckers!

Raphael: Where is jesus?

Michael: If you utter that name agian I personally throw you into the empty

Gabriel: Aw...Is someone jealous because Daddy made a hoilday that's not about you

Michael: I will throw you in empty

Lucifer: And I'll shove tinsel up your ass Scrooge!

..........

Raphael: Everything in this music is wrong

Gabriel: Exactly!!

Lucifer: Yeah the didn't say Micheal was the savoir

Michael: Jesus isn't real

Jesus: Bro why you why you lying

Raphael: Ooh this escalated quickly

.........

Balthazar: DIE HEART IS NOT A CHIRSTMAS MOIVE

Lucifer: But it is

Balthazar: No it's not

Lucifer: But your wrong it is

Balthazar: Have you even seen the movie?

Lucifer: No I just like arguing with you

Balthazar: I will end you

Lucifer: Is that a threat or promise

Balthazar: A FUCKING PROMISE

.......

Gabriel: If Santa Claus is a lie that humans tell children then is Jesus a lie?

Raphael: No.

Castiel: No...

Michael: Yes

Lucifer: One day I will give all the kids those presents but not today, because today I don't care

Gabriel: What kids write to you?

Lucifer: The ones who believe in Santan Claus duh Gabe

........

Chuck: I hate the hoildays

Castiel: Because of Seasonal depression

Lucifer: Michael?

Michael: Lucifer?

Chuck: No! Because now I have to change everything on my blog to a hoilday theme

Gabriel: WTF you have a blog for

Chuck: Why does Sam Winchester spoon you every night?

Gabriel: Nevermind

........

[incorrectspnquotess]

michael: gabe... how do i begin to explain gabe?

balthazar: gabe is flawless.

raph: i hear his hair's insured for $10,000.

cas: i hear he does car commercials... in japan.

luci: one time he punched me in the face... it was awesome.

gabe, lounging on a couch: oh, my siblings, you flatter me. please, continue.

*rumbling from the sky*

gabe: aaand that's my queue to leave.

gabe, snaps his fingers and everyone fades away. he vanishes right before a bolt of lightning strikes: baiiii!!!