#incorrect quote Iliad

[ellilyre]

I feel like Diomedes sucks with children.

Telemachus would tell him "uuhh you stink" while making an over disgusted face and Diomedes would look at him dead in the eyes and reply "i fucked your dad"

[incorrecthomer]

[at Achilles's funeral] Agamemnon: *places his hand on the pyre and sobs* Agamemnon: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.

[clairepatroclus]

[little-cereal-draws]

These three because I love this ship so much

*Penelope and Diomedes flirting with each other yet again* Odysseus: And you two are sure you're not dating? Penelope: 100%. Diomedes: Of course not! Why would you think that? Odysseus: I wonder why that possibility would even cross my mind, Diomedes. I fucking wonder.

-

Diomedes: Two years ago, I married my best friend. Diomedes: Penelope is still mad about it, but me and Odysseus were drunk and thought it was funny. -

Odysseus: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds? Penelope: Yes? Odysseus: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days. Penelope: Fuck. Odysseus: It's gonna be a fun week! Penelope: I'm going to Diomedes's house. Odysseus: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker. -

Penelope: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication. Diomedes: It’s my turn to cuddle Odysseus. Penelope: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT! -

Diomedes: H-how do you ask someone out? Odysseus: Well, first- Penelope: Don't ask him, he asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot. Diomedes: ...And you said yes? -

*Odysseus is telling a story* Penelope: Wow, Odysseus, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance! Diomedes: Romance? Penelope: I'm in love with him. -

Penelope, holding a rock: Diomedes just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock". Odysseus: If you don't marry him, I will. -

Diomedes: It's pretty cold outside... wanna hold hands? We should stay close. Odysseus, blushing: Okay. Penelope: It's fucking summer. -

Odysseus: If I say I love you, will you say it back? Diomedes: Yes. Odysseus: I love you. Diomedes: It back. *Later* Penelope: Why is Odysseus crying face-down on the floor? -

Penelope: Ooh, somebody has a crush Odysseus: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Diomedes. I just think he's cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about him. *Later that night* Odysseus, very much awake: Uh oh. -

Penelope: Did Diomedes just tell me he loved me for the first time? Odysseus: Yeah, he did. Penelope: And did I just do finger guns back? Odysseus: Yeah, you did. -

Penelope: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Diomedes. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Diomedes! Odysseus: Nope. Penelope: In that case, as the archbishop of Odysseus's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Diomedes right on the lips!!! -

Odysseus: Thank you all for coming. Penelope, wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here. Odysseus: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck Odysseus Task Force". Diomedes: Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way. -

Odysseus: *looking through his closet* Has anyone seen my top? Diomedes: Penelope’s in the kitchen. -

Diomedes: *sucking on a popsicle* Penelope: Pfft, you practicing for when Odysseus gets here? Diomedes: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle* Penelope: *Concern* -

Diomedes: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look? Odysseus: Like its slips on and off really easily. Diomedes: Odysseus: No, I didn't mean it like that- Penelope: We know what you meant. -

Penelope: Can you please just apologize to Diomedes? Odysseus: Fine, but I have to warn you that this may make me a nicer, better person and that is not who you feel in love with. -

Diomedes: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted. Odysseus: I’m “a couple of things”. Penelope: I’m “got distracted”. *Penelope and Odysseus high five* -

Penelope: That shirt looks great, Odysseus. Odysseus: Thanks. Penelope: But I bet it would look even better on Diomedes's floor. Diomedes: Are you hitting on Odysseus... for me? -

Diomedes: Hey, Odysseus? Can I get some dating advice? Odysseus: Just because I'm with Penelope doesn't mean I know how I did it.

[justmiraculousconspiracies]

Odysseus: What's up with Achilles? He has been laying on the floor for like.. an hour now?

Breises: He's a bit overwhelmed

Odysseus: And why is that?

Breises: Patroclus smiled at him

[kupidachillea]

I was bored

Images from Pinterest

[eeviaylxix]

achilles: so you're telling me... you didn't go on a rage-induced murder spree after your boyfriend died in battle?

hamilton: ...no?

achilles:

hamilton: are you okay??

[bcb-brian-camryn]

Achilles: "You're the best of the Myrmidons"

Patroklos: "I'm Lokrian"

Achilles: "You're Myrmidon by marriage"

Patroklos: "We're not married"

Achilles: "Not with that attitude!"

[mytho-maniac-108]

Greek army: *breathes*

Nestor: Back in my day-

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Achilles: See I'm straight but if there was a man I would marry it'd be Patroclus.

Briseis: How do you feel about that, Pat?

Patroclus:

Patroclus: It's not helping with the rumors.

Briseis: I think the kiss you guys shared in my tent isn't helping with the rumors.

Achilles: Yeah I just hate that he didn't give me enough tongue.

[ellilyre]

Sthenelus : I swear, this situationship will kill you someday

Diomedes : Don't be dramatic

-Timeskip-

Diomedes, entering Sthenelus' tent after the palladium heist: YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED

[incorrecthomer]

Athena: You think I enjoy being mother hen to you all? Odysseus: Diomedes: Achilles: Agamemnon: Athena: Ok fine, it's like crack to me

[athenas-sw0rd]

Agamemnon: I never considered you a rival.

Achilles: I never considered you at all.

[marsdeathdefiances]

Odysseus: *gazing at Diomedes* Gods above he’s hot…

Achilles: *gazing at Patroclus* Isn’t he, though?

Agamemnon: *overhearing them* Who’s so hot?

Achilles and Odysseus in unison without looking away from their crushes: Your mom.

[aficionadoenthusiast]

agamemnon: so what are your powers?

ajax: i'm super strong

odysseus: i was blessed by athena with wisdom

achilles: i have super human speed

patroclus: i can control achilles

agamemnon: that's not really-

odysseus: no, trust us. he's our strongest member.

[justmiraculousconspiracies]

How their first meeting actually went-

Patroclus : Hi I'm patroclus and you are?

Achilles : in love with you