#incorrect pjo textposts

[anotherpjofan]

The funniest part about the lightening thief is the fact that everyone was like "I don't know who Percy’s godly parent could possibly be" like they all really gaslit themselves even after the fact that the dude

a) had a powerful enough scent that chiron took time off to pretend to be his latin teacher

b) fought a minotaur with zero training and no weapons

c) drenched clarisse and her gang in toilet water

d) beat luke in a swordfight after drenching himself in water

e) was literally only good at canoeing

f) kept saying his dad was "lost at sea"

literally 5 minutes into the camp and Percy was all like

Percy: Maybe my dad is Poseidon his cabin feels like home -

Grover: No

Annabeth: No

Chiron: No

The whole camp: No

[gummybearinthehouseee]

annabeth in 1st grade: look under there

some kid: under where

annabeth: you fool. you absolute moron. you are such a monumental idiot that you don't even realize what you just said. i am a verbal magician-

[godsdamahalfblood]

Will: *on the verge of tears* so i got a 60.

Nico: well that's basically a 70 and then you add your age it's an 85 and then you HAVE to round up so it's a 90 and then round up again because it's tuesday-

Kayla: it's wednesday.

Nico: shut up. round up again because it's WEDNESDAY and you got a 100! yay!

Will: *starts crying*

[nymph-of-books]

returning to my roots…

[starchasersversion]

nico: *sees percy at camp jupiter* oh fuck

percy: do i know you?

nico: um... what? noo of course not

percy: are you sure-

nico: well unless we met in the underworld cause that's where i spend most of my time haha

percy, suspicious: yeah haha

[ilovepjo]

Annabeth: How did this happen?!

Percy: Look, in my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Annabeth: But wasn't Grover with you?

Grover: Well, in my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

[hyacynta]

Kayla: Dad if you're the god of the sun why do I have so many freckles?

Apollo, clearly trying to think of an excuse: Uhhhh.... they're sun kisses, sweetie! I gave you them because I love you so much.

Austin and Will: :(

[multi-bookworm]

Nico: why are people so sensitive??

Will: *sighs* what did you do this time.

Nico: I said “your face makes onions cry” and then showed them an onion that I got Hazel to use the mist to make it seem to them like it was crying.

Will: …

Nico: and then I whispered to them “I didn’t even bewitch it”

Will: Uhm Nico-

Nico: IT WAS A JOKE

[captcins]

Percy: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

Annabeth: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially

Percy, desperately, as annabeth bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Annabeth: Oh! B positive.

Percy: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Annabeth:

[a-dam-half-blood]

Nico: I’m not a people person, I don’t like physical contact

*kisses Will*

*hugs Annabeth and Hazel*

*bro hugs Percy and Jason*

*high fives Frank*

Nico: AS I WAS SAYING—

[anotherpjofan]

I just love the idea of Percy inheriting his recklessness from Sally Jackson instead of Poseidon like obviously she had become calmer over the years but it would be hilarious if no one believed it like

Poseidon: Your child sent Medusa's head to the gods

*flashback to when Sally figured out she was pregnant and yelled at the sea for an hour while flipping it off*

Sally: I hear the sea doesn't like to be restrained

Poseidon: I said it once -

Or when Percy asks about how they met

Poseidon: Your mom saw my trident and tried to steal it and kill me to figure out if I'm real or a figment of her imagination

Percy: Yeah right my mom would never hurt anyone

Poseidon: ...SALLY -

ok but what if the other gods also get involved in this like

Apollo: Your son snuck on a quest

Poseidon: Sally's son

Apollo: ...She baked me blue chocolate chip cookies

And then Poseidon decides to confront her so

Poseidon: You have got to take some responsibility

Sally: I don't know what you're talking about

*flashback to when Sally had managed to steal the trident and kill a monster*

[gummybearinthehouseee]

percy *about annabeth*: my girlfriend has been listening to too much crime podcasts and now she knows too much

percy: yesterday she just said “bodies don’t float if you puncture the lungs” so if I go missing TELL THE COPS SHE DID IT

[godsdamahalfblood]

Leo: I didn't take you for an optimist

Nico: i am always thinking about the day in 7th grade when the teacher separated us by optimists and pessimists and my teacher tried to make me go to the optimists group and i looked at her and said “the world is on fire, our leaders are failing, and there’s no guarantee i live to the end of my schooling.” and then she just left me alone

Percy: I'm an optiMUST

[the-heroes-of-argo-two]

Frank: hey Nico, Hazel is confused about the human body

Nico: 'kay I'll hide it somewhere else then

Frank: 🧍‍♂️

[starchasersversion]

ares: if percy jackson doesn't have any haters i am dead

ares: i am immortal

ares: so that means he will always have haters

[ilovepjo]

Percy: Annabeth told me Santa wasn't real. Well, joke's on her because I'm at the mall right now and guess who's here?