#incorrect obidei quotes

[watermelonsloth]

Deidara: What are you making for dinner?

Tobi: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise!

Deidara: Is it soup?

Tobi: I soup-pose it could be!

Deidara: Quit making soup puns!

Tobi: Wow, senpai’s soup-per mean.

Deidara: STOP!

*one hour later*

Deidara: IT’S FUCKING TACOS?!

[ubeetlebum]

Itachi created a group

Itachi added obito

Itachi added deidara

Obito: ?

Deidara: ?

Itachi: My cousin Obito was being such a pain in the ass annoying me all day like "but do you think he likes me or not? blahblahblahblah", here, get your shit together you two and leave me out of this bye.

Itachi leaves the group

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Tobi: I got the birthday cake for senpai.

Konan: It says, "Happy 19th Birthday Dave."

Tobi: Oh, he's going to be 20, isn't he?

Konan: His name is Deidara.

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Deidara: What's Tobi's real name?

Itachi: He's older than me.

Deidara: That's not what I asked.

Itachi: That's all the information I have.

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Deidara: What's up? I'm back.

Tobi: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead.

Deidara: Death is a social construct.

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Tobi: Something's off.

Deidara: Maybe you've finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.

Tobi: Rich, coming from you.

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Deidara: Okay, so you say that you're creative.

Tobi: Yes.

Deidara: May I ask what you create?

Tobi: Problems.

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Tobi: Emotionally, I'm doing the laminated paper wobbling sound.

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Tobi: Do you have a self-care routine?

Deidara: Saying "keep going bitch" to myself in different accents.

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Tobi: Hold the fuck up, senpai.

Tobi: It's me. I'm the fuck up. Hold me.

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Zetsu: And that's how we are going to enslave the entire world.

Tobi: Who gives a shit.

Deidara: Tobi, come look at what I sculpted today. It's a goldfish.

Tobi: Fascinating.

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Tobi: My body is a temple.

Deidara: Ancient and crumbling.

Deidara: And probably cursed or haunted.

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Deidara: You bought a taco?

Tobi: Yes, why?

Deidara: At a moment like this?

Deidara: From the truck that HIT Hidan?

Tobi: Well, me starving ain't gonna help him.

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Deidara: I bet I could take you.

Zetsu: In a fight, right?

Obito: Oh, yeah?

Zetsu: IN A FIGHT, RIGHT?

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Deidara: I can't mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one, Tobi.

Tobi: Manslaughter it is, then.

[incorrecttobideiquotes]

Deidara: Tobi, you need to shut the fuck up. My therapist is sick of hearing about you.