#incorrect jimbert quotes

[laysidel]

Robert: *in a breathy voice* teach me Master

Jimmy: *pulls out some random ass stretching poses he learned from a simplified yoga manual for kids* this is... er... a complex Thelemic ritual, yes. Please follow what I do closely, you won't get it right at the beginning, it's normal -- that's pretty advanced stuff after all -- but with my teachings I'm sure you'll reach an adequate level soon enough...

[101icestar]

Jimbert Incorrect Quote

Robert: Alright, to finish off our driving lesson for today, I have a singular question for you: You see an old man and a child in the middle of the road. what do you hit?

Jimmy: the old man, of course. the child has his whole life ahead of him, while the old man is probably going to die next week. it's better to make it quick and make sure he doesn't suffer.

Robert: the brakes, Jimmy. you hit the fucking brakes.

[oneofthebeautifulpeople]

Jimmy: Damn can’t believe I get to tap that

Peter Grant: ikr same

Jimmy: what?

Peter: what?

Jimmy: ...

[keepcalmandcarryfire]

Jimmy: (completely serious) I have to get something off my chest.

Robert: Is it your shirt? Please tell me it’s your shirt.

[incorrectledzeppelinquotes]

Jimmy: so... wanna go up to Scotland with me?

Girl: but you and Robert are gay for each other

Jimmy: it isn't gay if it's a three-way

[len-zefflin]

Robert: The food is too hot. I can't eat it.

Jimmy: You're hot but I'd still eat-

Bonzo, slamming his hands down the table: ONE DINNER

Jonesy: Here we go again...

Bonzo: ONE NORMAL FUCKING DINNER IS ALL I ASK

[periwinklegarden]

Robert: *showing off at a party*

Robert: I killed her by ridin' her too hard

Jimmy: Now that's how I wanna fuckin' die

[oneofthebeautifulpeople]

Robert: *bleeding*

Jimmy: *panicking* Oh god, Robert are you okay?? We’ve got to get you to a hospital. Quick, what’s your type??

Robert: *through a fuzzy brain* uhhh, green eyes, long black hair, musically gifted...

Jimmy: YOUR BLOOD TYPE, PERCY

Robert: Oh! That’s easy. Red.

Jimmy:

Jimmy: why do I even bother

[101icestar]

Jimbert Incorrect Quote 3

Jimmy: I was thinking I'd do some magic-

Robert: You? Magic? Jimmy, it says talent show.

[themightyarmsofatlas]

David Bowie: Welcome to the “Fuck Jimmy Page club”, where we discuss all the reasons why we hate Jimmy.

David Bowie: Before we start, does our newest member want to say anything?

Robert Plant, sweating: I, um, I may have misunderstood the purpose of this club.

[themightyarmsofatlas]

Jimmy: *texting* What do you want for dinner?

Robert: Whatever ypu want [not delivered]

Robert: *you

Jimmy: ...

[themightyarmsofatlas]

Robert: I like your trousers.

Jimmy: Yeah, they were 50% off.

Robert: *with flirty voice* I wish they were 100% off.

Jimmy:

[themightyarmsofatlas]

Robert: I was attracted to you first.

Jimmy: Well, I confessed first.

Robert: I asked you out first.

Jimmy: But, I said I loved you first.

Robert: I proposed first.

Jimmy: I- Wait, you haven't-

Robert: *gets down on one knee*

Jimmy: Oh shit.

[themightyarmsofatlas]

Bonzo: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks in.

Jimmy: I'm not kissing any-

Robert: *walks in*

Jimmy: Fine, I'll do it. Rules are rules.

[themightyarmsofatlas]

Jonesy: [texting] Where are you and Jimmy?

Robert: WE’RE FUCKING

Robert: GETTING [not delivered]

Robert: DRINKS!! [not delivered]

Jones: Ok...

Robert: NO, WAIT [not delivered]

[themightyarmsofatlas]

Jimmy: Is hot in here or it's just me?

Robert: It's me.

Jimmy: What?

Robert: IT'S ME.