#incorrect illuminae quotes

[what-life-im-a-fangirl]

Isaac Grant: We call that a traumatic event. Isaac Grant, looking at Nik: Not a "bruh moment." Isaac Grant, looking at Hanna: Not a "major L." Isaac Grant, looking at Ella: And definitely not an "OOF LMAO."

[fangirlingismysport]

Aidan to Kady: Are you alright? You look… not alright.

[kami-kun1003]

The SFOTH as things me and my friends have said

~~~

Icedagger: I’m going to shove a whole cup of ice shards directly into your lungs.

Darkheart: Try us, bitch…!

~~~

Illumina: Guys, don’t let Venomshank out of the basement.

Venomshank: NO GET ME OUT

Illumina: No one is coming to save you, phucker!!!

~~~

Ghostwalker: Who is your worst enemy?

Firebrand: Deadlines.

Icedagger: Some random person I beefed with on Wattpad four years ago.

Icedagger: Wattpad user lemonhehe, I will get you one of these days.

~~~

Venomshank: What does monster energy taste like?

Firebrand: I don’t know? I guess it would depend on the monster and what type of energy it has—

Firebrand: WAIT DID YOU MEAN THE DRINK?!

~~~

Windforce: Ew, there’s a gnat.

Illumina: Don’t insult Icedagger.

Windforce: …no, I mean, an actual gnat.

Illumina: Stop being rude.

~~~

Darkheart: We just saw Illumina stab a milk carton and pour the milk out that way…??

Icedagger: Oh my gods.

Icedagger: I’m going to start doing that from now on.

~~~

Firebrand: You are my younger sibling and I must protect you!

Icedagger: ..erm.

Darkheart: Nonsense… get in our Punt Younger Siblings Into The Sun-inator, we promise it’s safe…

[incorrectswordcatcherquotes]

Mayesh: How did you make it out?

Lin: I’m a lateral thinker.

Mayesh: Meaning you used your new found magi-

Lin: I broke a window.

[shit-the-vampyr-cast-never-said]

Sean: How did you make it out?

Geoffrey: I’m a lateral thinker.

Sean: Meaning you used your new found mag-

Geoffrey: I broke a window.

[prismaticstarshch]

I don’t remember what server I was in I got this from but I showed it in PPTH some time ago and then found it again lol

[gingerthemoonlark]

Mr Forkle: how did you make it out?

Sophie: I'm a lateral thinker.

Mr Forkle: meaning you used one of your many special abiliti-

Sophie: I broke a window.

[incorrect-legendborn-quotes]

Lark: How did you make it out? Bree: I'm a latteral thinker. Lark: Meaning you used your special abiliti- Bree: I broke a window.

[clawmachine07]

I am currently reading the Illuminae Files and I AM IN LOVE WITH IT

Kady: i mean, we’re on the run and i lost my cousin, but at least i still have my mom

<Phobos has entered the chat>

[incorrectilluminaequotes]

Me starting the book knowing probably everyone is going to die

Everybody: *dies*

Also me:

[the-best-bibliophile]

AIDAN: Look, I get it. You’re stressed out, seven people died—

Kady: Two thousand!!

AIDAN: not the point. The point is, they’re dead now. And really, whose fault is that?

Kady: Yours!!

AIDAN: That’s right, no one’s.

[what-life-im-a-fangirl]

Kady: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Ezra: Several traffic violations.

Nik: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Ella: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Hanna: Also, that is not our car.

AIDAN: I pRoViDeD SiReN nOiSeS.

[fangirlingismysport]

Nik: I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

[kami-kun1003]

random SFOTH as vines cuz these are fun to make

~~~

Illumina: Okay, you know what?! You’re in timeout! Get on top of the fridge! Get up there!!

Icedagger: This place is a PHUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!!

~~~

Darkheart: We’re all going to hell… goodbye…!

~~~

Firebrand: “Road work ahead”? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!

~~~

Illumina: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Darkheart?

Darkheart: No.

Icedagger: I do!

Illumina: I know, Ice.

Icedagger: I’m sad!

Illumina: I know, Ice.

~~~

Darkheart: Hey everybody. Today our brother pushed us, so we’re starting a kickstarter to put him down…

Darkheart: The benefits of killing him would be: we would get pushed way less-

~~~

Icedagger: How do you know what’s good for me?!

Firebrand: That’s mY OPINION!!

Icedagger:

Windforce:

~~~

Venomshank, to Illumina: Alright, lets tell each other a secret about ourselves. I’ll go first.

Venomshank: I… hate you.

~~~

Icedagger: Do you have any ice?

Ghostwalker: I do not, I just have freezable fruit shapes.

Icedagger: …why?

Ghostwalker: Just because.

[theilluminaephiles]

Nik [transcribing the security camera footage]: Will they or won't they? Sexual tension.

Hanna: Nik, it makes the team uncomfortable when you talk about us like we're characters in a show you're watching.

[narcissusinamirrormaze]

Hanna: you’re a loose cannon Nik

Nik: No I’m not. I’m a cannon maybe but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Kady: I think you play by your own rules

Ezra: No way they think rules were made to be broken

Hanna: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon

Nik: No I’m just a reckless grenade. Aiden is a loose cannon.

Aiden: *smashes a chair*