#incorrect freebat

[darkcrowprincess]

*Post Shazam 2: Fury of the gods* The justice league*angry*: what kind of idiots do you have working here?!

Shazam Freddy and Billy strike heroic pose*talking about the shazam family*: the finest in Philadelphia sir/ma'am.

[agathario]

freddy: can everyone just STOP taking my STUFF! asking would be nice!

mary: you have nothing interesting except billy.

freddy: EXACTLY! *sticky note on billy* MINE!

billy: *grins* eats cereal.

[incorrectshazamily]

billy: just throwing my opinion out there-

freddy: throw it out the window

[incorrectfreebat]

Freddy: Man, you need a boyfriend.

Billy: Yeah, there's one guy I like, he's cute but very dumb.

Freddy: Oh, really? What's his name?

Billy: Freddy.

Freddy: Oh, he's got the same name as me, nice.

Billy: [Internally] He is for fucking real?

[kingdollophead]

Billy: Dude can we talk? I kinda miss you and really want to see you...:(

Freddy: What are we? I don't understand our relationship. Sometimes we're more than friends and sometimes, I'm just a stranger to you. One minute you're talking to me as if I'm something special and the next minute you're talking to me as if I mean nothing to you. One day you pay so much attention to me and the next day you completely ignore me. Don't f-ck with my feelings because you're unsure about yours. Grow up and talk to me when you're done.

Billy:

[darkcrowprincess]

Billy*who has a concussion*: Who decided to call it "emotional baggage" and not griefcase? Freddy*hugging Billy*: Freddy*looks at him like he's a genius*: He’s onto something Mary*deep sigh*: God give me strength.

[darkcrowprincess]

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Freddy Freeman *being the nerd he is*: did you know that when you break a bone it typically will heal back stronger than before.

Billy Batson *smiling like he figured out something brilliant*: so what you’re saying is I should break every bone in my body until I become invincible?

Freddy Freeman:

Freddy Freeman: Billy, no.

[darkcrowprincess]

*Freddy ran away from an abusive foster parent to see fireworks and met street kid(and super secret super hero) Billy Batson*

Billy *trying to trick Freddy so he can go back to looking for his mom*: You get back to a foster parent relationship based on mutual trust and viola! We part ways as unlikely friends.

Freddy *stealing back Billy's notebook with different possible mom addresses*: No, I am seeing those fireworks!

Billy*throwing his arms up in frustration, fists clenched*:Oh, come on! What is it going to take to get my notebook back? Freddy*taking out his pepper spray*:I will use this.

*Rustling is heard in the bushes of the park they are at late at night* Freddy *in fear, drops his cane, hugs Billy in fear and protection*:Is it ruffians, thugs? The bullies from school! Have they come for me? *A squirrel hops out of the bushes* Billy sarcastic*who is holding Freddy up so he doesn't fall*:Stay calm, it can probably smell fear.

[darkcrowprincess]

Billy Batson: Well, I am shocked and dismayed. Freddy Freeman: Well, no you can't be both. You be shocked, I'll be dismayed.

[darkcrowprincess]

[playing a couple’s trivia game] Mary: Freddy, what is Billy's favorite fish? Freddy: Penguin. Mary: I don’t think you understood— Billy, holding up a paper saying “penguin” on it: BAM! Freddy: I know my man. Billy: It’s like we have one brain.

[darkcrowprincess]

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Billy Batson: Why are we laying on the ground?

Freddy Freeman: You got knocked down so I laid next to you so everyone would just think we were chillin'.

[darkcrowprincess]

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Freddy Freeman, at the police station: I’m here for Billy.

The officer: Surename?

Freddy Freeman:

Freddy Freeman: Ah, you must be new…

[darkcrowprincess]

[Freddy and Billy's room- Freddy face planting on the bottom buck, sad and broken hearted] Freddy*being dramatic*: This whole Valentine's Day thing is one big scam. The greeting card companies and the candy stores are trying to rip off innocent consumers. Billy* on top bunk of the bunk beds, reading a comic book* : No date, huh? Freddy *dramatically crying anime tears: I'M SO LONELY!!!

*They both have feelings for each other, their both just oblivious idiots*

[darkcrowprincess]

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Mary Bromfield: Why are Billy and Freddy sitting with their backs to each other?

Darla Dudley: They had a fight.

Mary Bromfield: Then why are they still holding hands?

Darla Dudley: They get sad when they fight.

[darkcrowprincess]

Tim Drake: How did you get him to go out with you?

Freddy*smiles at Billy*: Well we were both in the foster system together. I was the first person he told about being Captain Marvel

Billy *smiling at Freddy*: And he slowly wore me down.

Freddy: Like a river carves a canyon!

Billy: Except this river kept showing me his Pokémon cards. And gushing about super heros.

[darkcrowprincess]

adult freebat wedding:

Freddy hiding the fact he's slightly annoyed with his soon to be husband: *whispers* You're late. When you asked if I was doing anything later, I didn't realize you'd actually forgotten

Billy smiling, happiest moment of his life as he stares at Freddy: *whispers playfully* I thought it was playful banter.

Freddy trying not smile and be annoyed at the same time: It was playful banter.

Billy smiles wide and happy: Captain Marvel had a little bit of a situation but I made it.

Freddy trying not yell, but can't help frown: Cutting it kinda close, don't you think?

Billy leaning into whisper in Freddy's ear: You need to be more fun.

Freddy shivers in enjoyment, but needs to be serious: I love you, and I know how terrified you are of us ending up like your parents.

Billy says nothing, face finally serious, but eyes completely full of love:*nods*

Freddy takes Billy's hand: I will never leave you, but if we're gonna make this work, you've gotta be more than Captain Marvel. You know that. Don't you?

Billy serious: *nods*

A lgbtq friendly Jewish Rabbi: So long as you both shall live?

Freddy and Billy at the same time: I do.

Lgbtq friendly Jewish Rabbi: I pronounce this couple partners for life.

Freddy and Billy: *both smile than kiss. Shazam family, justice league, and a few other heroes cheer and clap for the married couple.*

Freddy pulling back from the kiss, smiling naturally now: As long as we both shall live. No matter what happens.

Billy on top of the world, nothing could knock him down happy: Hey, come on. We're superheroes. What could happen?

*Billy stop tempting fate you himbo! But yes they have a over all happy marriage!*

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