#incorrect critical role quotes

[spookydicks]

F.C.G: *after Laudna's stabbing* Does your message spell cover calls to hell?

Imogen: Hell?

F.C.G.: She's lesbian and dead. Where else would she be?

[criticalrolling]

Beau: “This is to the loser who dared tell me that being gay isn’t a choice.” 

Beau: “You’re right, being gay isn’t a choice!”

Beau: “It’s a COMPETITION and I am WINNING.” 

Beau, gesturing at Yasha: “Have you SEEN my WIFE?!”

[okaybutmakeitgayer]

Dariax: I guess I’m just too tough to cry

Opal: you were crying about Dorian literally an hour ago

Dariax, tearing up: I just love him so much

[firapolemos05]

Jester: You're from here, Lord Thain? Where do you live?

Essek, thinking: Don't panic, don't panic. This is fine. Just be vague.

Essek: ...Around.

Essek, thinking: Not that vague!

[araliadon]

Keyleth: “The risk I took was calculated! But… 𝘣𝘰𝘺 am I bad at maths.”

[southern-skies]

(ashton, drinking their morning beer, in debt with yet another person): one day more, another day, another destiny, this never-ending road to calvary, these men who seem to know my crime, will surely come a second time, one day more

(laudna, accidentally dislocating her shoulder): i did not live until today, how can i live when we are parted?

(ashton): one day more

(imogen & laudna, being dramatic sapphics): tomorrow you'll be worlds away, and yet with you, my world has started

(fcg, shouting up at the changebringer, getting ignored again): one more day all on my own

(imogen & laudna, holding hands in a meadow): will we ever meet again?

(fcg): one more day with her not caring

(imogen & laudna): i was born to be with you

(fcg): what a life i might have known

(imogen & laudna): and i swear i will be true!

(fcg): but she never saw me there

(orym, the bestest soldier in zephrah): one more day before the storm

(imogen, ruidus shining ominously behind her): do i follow where she goes?

(orym): at the barricades of freedom

(imogen): shall i join my brothers there?

(orym, mario jumping around the battlefield): when our ranks begin to form

(imogen): do i stay or do i dare?

(orym): will you take your place with me?

(bells hells): the time is now, the day is here

(ashton, raging): one day more!

(chetney, putting on the butcher’s bib and sharpening his chisels): one day more till revolution, we will nip it in the bud, we'll be ready for these schoolboys, they will wet themselves with blood!

(ashton): one day more!

(fearne, pickpocketing the whole of exandria): watch ‘em run amuck, catch 'em as they fall, never know your luck, when there's a free for all, here a little dip, there a little touch, most of them are goners, so they won't miss much!

(bells hells): one day to a new beginning, raise the flag of freedom high! every man will be a king, every man will be a king, there's a new world for the winning, there's a new world to be won, do you hear the people sing?

(imogen, hopefully, please don’t go evil): my place is here, i fight with you!

(ashton, going into hyper-rage): one day more!

(overlapping chaos, bells hells trauma dumping on every single guest)

(chetney & laudna): we will join these people's heroes (i did not live until today)

(chetney & fearne & imogen): we will follow where they go (watch them run amuck) (tomorrow you'll be worlds away)

(chetney): we will join these people's heroes, we will follow where they go, we will learn their little secrets, we will know the things they know

(ashton): one day more!

(fearne & fcg): watch 'em run amuck (one more day all on my own), catch 'em as they fall, never know your luck, when there's a free-for-all

(chetney): we'll be ready for these schoolboys

(ashton, punting ludinus into the sun): tomorrow we'll be far away, tomorrow is the judgement day

(bells hells): tomorrow we'll discover what our god in heaven has in store!

(all point at matt behind a dm screen, matt waves shyly)

one more dawn

one more day

one day more!

[head-thots]

Laudna: Bye, Imogen! Bye, Dorian! Bye, Orym! Bye, Fearne! Bye, Ashton! Bye, F.C.G.! Bye, Imogen!

Orym: You said 'Bye, Imogen' twice.

Laudna: I like Imogen.

[that-one-vangogh-painting]

First tumblr post am I being funny correctly?

[incorrect-mighty-nein]

Beau: Ah yes, the two genders *points at Caleb* “I no longer wish to be perceived” and *points at Molly* “I have to be the most fuckable person at the grocery store”

[sansssins]

Caleb: You know archaic Draconic??

Essek: I got bored with classical Draconic.

Caleb: You know *normal* Draconic?

Essek: Yeah, someone from my knitting club taught me.

Caleb: You have a knitting club?!

Essek: You don't know everything about me Widogast. Now, do you want a sweater or a scarf?

[criticalrole-incorrectquotes]

(pike): what's the worst part of valentines day?

(vax): whenever we go out to eat as a fancy restaurant, we can't hold each other's hands, cause people think we are having a seance.

(vex): to be fair, if you saw 3 people, all holding hands in a circle, sitting around a candle lit table, wouldn't you be suspicious.

(vax): no, i'd mind my own business if i want to hold keyleth and gilmore's hands, then i should be able to, and if they wanna hold each other's hands, they should be able to, and if we wanna summon a ghost cause our food is taking forever to get out, then we should be able to.

[spookydicks]

Fearne: When I interact with a new object, I’m gonna look at it for a little bit. I’m gonna reach out, poke it, see if it moves around. I’ll pick it up, wiggle it back and forth…

Fearne: and then that thing goes all the way in my mouth.

Fearne: and if it doesn’t try to get OUT of my mouth… it’s going down the hatch.

Fearne: if you ask me, it’s a pretty good way to do things

[criticalrolling]

Caleb Widogast: "I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons."

[incorrect-transpirings]

Essek: [making fun of Trent]

Caleb: you are so incredibly hot right now

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2609

Imogen: "Joke's on you; I'm into that shit." (Dialogue from Victorious.)

[timjackdaw]

(after visiting the shadowgast residence)

Jester, sending to Fjord: -and they were comparing notes!

Veth: oh my god they were comparing notes