#incorrect american gods

[ap-kinda-lit]

Bulma, holding Kid Vegeta’s hand: Look at me, being escorted around town by this handsome little gentleman.

Kid Vegeta: Just so you know, I’m speaking calmly, but there is a tantrum brewing in me the likes of which this mall has never seen.

[atsushis-fangs]

Arthur: sorry I accused you of arson

Alfred: it’s fine I was the obvious suspect

[incorrect-american-gods]

Laura: Can I ask you for a favor?

Sweeney: I would literally kill for you, but continue.

Laura: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

"Have I ever told you that you're very cynical and more than slightly overdramatic?"

-Gale, to Astarion

[mytho-nerd]

Dionysus: my number one rule is don’t tell Athena

Athena: oh?

Dionysus:…what to do. Don’t tell Athena what to do.

[theautismincarnate]

Found I new character I really like…

I’m missing out on so much fan content of him on TikTok right now… 😔

[15pantheons]

Coyote: The best person I know is myself.

[drarchibaldpeppermd]

sorry yes this is inspired by a tiktok pls roll with it but the Glass Ceiling has really not been a core part of the (american) feminist movement since basically the 80s. in fact, there are a lot of modern intersectional american feminists who are specifically critical of the 80s girlboss working women break the glass feminists archetype for a long time because of how it hinders more than helps. there are so many american women who i know would consider themselves feminists (casual or otherwise) who understand instinctually that to be a feminist is to be intersectional. now i get that nobody's perfect and some american feminists are causing harm but that's a conversation for another time because if we're going to start comparing moral perfection with fucking europeans im going to hurt someone's feelings

[candyvoncaramell]

To make one thing clear because I feel like I'm going insane.

"Hispanic" as a category ethnic or whatever, is exclusively used in the USA. You might hear it around in latam occasionally, if it comes from a bilingual person who didn't really give it much thought and assumed it was normal when they heard it from some gringo.

But generally you won't ever hear it from a Latin American person who's not bilingual, thus their interactions with anything USAmerican are limited.

"Hispanic" as a category was invented to better represent chicanos in the USAmerican census.

So if you ever hear some idiot trying to say Brazil isn't part of Latin America, they're getting their categories confused, likely because they've never stepped foot in Latin America in their life.

Brazil is part of Latin America.

[incorrect-idolmastersidem-quotes]

All your questions can be answered, if that is what you want. But once you learn your answers, you can never unlearn them.

Sora

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Haer’dalis: Can you not see you have the power here in your own heart?

Aerie: What? Like the power of love?

Haer’dalis: No. The power to destroy.

[roseannevip]

i can't this is p e r f e c t i o n

y'know this bit from the Family Day episode from American Dad may as well just be the Trojan War lmao

so yeah enjoy this highly specific and yet coincidentally effective meme about the war gods LOL

[fairykyeoms]

how seventeen react to their s/o suddenly getting shy

requested by anon! u gotta read the full req for this to make sense really but oh god. it is So cute.

masterlist

seungcheol, dokyeom, seungkwan

unbelievably and adorably flustered when you admit u think he just looks really pretty rn and it's making you shy. makes those adorable whiny sounds going all “뭐야~” cuz he's so flustered by the fact that you like him so much. ridiculously pleased, and will tease you about it but he needs about 5 minutes to compose himself beforehand, which in turn gives you something to tease Him about :] it's literally not fair tho like how can you just say those things to his face likeee ?? wdym you get hit with the fact you're in love with him at random while he has to deal with this soul-crushing adoration every minute of the day???? 

jeonghan, joshua, hoshi

he's never letting you live it down. tilts his head when you look over at him and suddenly hide your face in your hands, wagging his eyebrows suggestively when you mumble that he just looked really pretty. then he laughs, utterly endeared, and just is constantly going “aww did you get flustered? you thought i looked handsome? look at you, you're so cute, getting all shy over me being your boyfriend 🥰” for a full ten minutes straight just to see you blush even more. will bring up this situation in conversations for the next seven years, a) because it's funny and b) because he really is quite touched that u think he's that cute

junhui, mingyu, chan

“aww babe that's so cute but guess what?? i have a crush on you tooooo!!!!” literally unfazed. giggles and flirts with you in an instant, like that's the most natural response to your comment. he is literally suchhhhh a loser when it comes to u bc he just loves you sososo much and like. what else is he supposed to do when u suddenly tell him that you have a crush on him? spends the rest of the day alternating between flirting heavily and reminding you again and again that he Also has a crush on you and that he likes you. a lot. like ridiculous amounts, you know? his crush on you is bigger than the universe, and he makes sure you Know It

wonwoo, woozi, minghao, vernon

you shyly admit that you're getting all embarrassed cuz you just realised that. you literally have a crush on ur boyfriend. and he smiles a bit, dryly raising an eyebrow. “i sure hope that you have a crush on me, because i don't wanna be the only one in this relationship with a crush.” he says it so matter-of-factly, the i have a crush on you too devastatingly clear in his voice and you can't help but get even more flustered, giddy by the fact that the person you like also likes you back. which should have been obvious, but it's always nice to get confirmation, you know? 

request guidelines

reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @kikohao @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun @sea-moon-star @nonononranghaee @isabellah29 @mcu-incorrect @hrts4hanniehae @suraandsugar @pan-de-seungcheol @dokyeomkyeom @melodicrabbit @bunnliix @bananabubble

[bassiascoparia]

LET'S ENJOY GREEK MYTH RETELLINGS AND STORIES BUT NOT TAKE ALL OF THEM SERIOUSLY

You know, I really have to say this.

I don't think that Greeks, Hellenistic Pagans and other people who know Greek Mythology would be as frustrated as they are today if people DIDN'T TAKE MODERN SOURCES DEPICTING GREEK MEDIA AS ALWAYS ACCURATE.

Bear with me now.

All right, so, we all know about Percy Jackson.

And PJO was basically the Greek God make or break of its time and it broke the Greek Gods. Greeks and Hellenistic Pagans had the unfortunate experience of being bombarded with false, incorrect interpretations and thoughts about their deities.

And we have to remember here that to these Hellenistic Pagans, their gods are as sacred to them as God is to Christians. Maybe they wouldn't kill people over their gods, an added bonus, but we must respect the fact that they worship the gods and we must be respectful of Greek Gods when interacting with them.

See, I'm not saying that you can't be lighthearted. You can joke around and all that-it's just that actually hating and condemning the Greek Gods shouldn't be done when you're interacting with their worshippers.

Now that I'm done with that, well, Rick Riordan fucked up with Greek Mythology big time. Making Athena have children, HIS MISOGYNY. THERE ARE ENTIRE TAGS DEDICATED TO RICK'S MISOGYNY, NOT JUST OF HIS FEMALE CHARACTERS BUT OF ACTUAL ANCIENT GREEK GODDESSES. If I did a whole essay on his misogyny, I'd have to make multiple posts.

Rick done fucked up with them. I do not have to be the first person to tell you that.

HOWEVER, I am obligated to say that any author is freely able to portray the Greek Gods as they want (unfortunately at times).

And so Rick is free to interpret them how he likes.

Let's also remember that Rick thought terribly of the Gods and their worshippers when he was writing Percy Jackson and the other series.

Of course, he HAS changed for the better. Now he's more respectful of Pagans and has apologised, which is nice, but I just thought I'd let you know.

See, now we can accept and criticise Rick's writing, but before-

Well, before, it was absolutely awful for Greeks and Hellenistic Pagans. I mean, it's still awful, but it was more awful back then because almost nobody criticised Percy Jackson about depicting Greek Gods terribly. Everyone said that Greek Gods were American and belonged to America-ugh, that was horrible. It's absolutely appalling to do that, no less to Greeks themselves. People ranted about how horrible the gods were.

And I mean yes, the Greek Gods could be awful by modern standards, but we need to remember two things-

The Greek Gods were based on an ANCIENT SOCIETY with DIFFERENT MORAL STANDARDS. Judging them by modern moral standards isn't going to do anything.

The actions of the gods were SYMBOLIC, NOT LITERAL.

a) Artemis' cruelty towards humans? That's the cruelty of nature towards him. Artemis was a nature goddess and she hunted and resided in the wild.

b) Dionysus being kind and charming but also mad and ruthless at times? Well, that's what wine does. It can make people funny and charming to a point, but it also drives people mad and makes them violent.

c) Hades kidnapping Persephone? Well, Hades represents death, and that's what death does-it rips children from their parents' arms. Also, it signifies the fact that daughters and mothers did not have a say in their marriage, the father could give the girl away to any man in those times. Demeter actually being able to get Persephone back was a comfort to grieving mothers.

d) Zeus cheating on Hera multiple times?

There are multiple explanations for this one.

First, kings and princes often claimed to be descendants of Zeus, so Zeus was said to have many affairs with royal mortal women so that their claims to divine lineage could be accurate.

Second, Zeus' rain represented fecundity and fertility. As I said above, the actions of the gods are symbolic and they represent their domains, so he had multiple affairs and loads of children to signify his fertility.

Third, the Greek Gods were based on Ancient Greek society where multiple men took concubines and lovers. And Zeus did this too, because he was a king!

e) Hera punishing the lovers and bastards? That's what queens did to some concubines for revenge, since they couldn't take it out on the king.

It's all either symbolic or based on Ancient Greece. The gods that humanity created were based on those times, and they were created millennia ago, when things were different in nearly every way possible.

Anyway, what I'm trying to tell you is that we're allowed to have fun with these stories and retellings that include Greek Mythology, but if you really want correct information on Greek gods, go and read the myths and the compositions of Ancient Greek poets and playwrights (Homer, Hesiod, etc).

Because many people, when reading these modern retellings and the like, think that they are actually real mythological information and accordingly spew nonsense.

People call Apollo 'Asspollo' and harass his worshippers because of one incorrect comic that came out in 2018. Apollo never raped Persephone.

And people also view famous figures like Odysseus and Achilles incorrectly because of incorrect translations that don't correctly capture the original and CERTAIN RETELLINGS (cough-Madeline Miller-COUGH)

And there are so many more examples I could give, but then this would be too long to post.

See, it's not that the writers completely rip the original lore out. They keep a lot of it, but they also add in some incorrect information. And sometimes this isn't that bad or malicious, it's just incorrect.

So if you're not sure about whether something in a retelling or story depicting Greek Gods is true, you should search it up online or ask someone who knows.

Because Greeks and Hellenistic Pagans are constantly frustrated at how their gods are portrayed and that everyone just takes the retellings as mythologically correct.

TLDR Greek mythology retellings can be fun for you to read but don't take all of the info in them as mythologically correct. You can be lighthearted about the Greek Gods but please don't actually loathe or mock them with others who believe in them and worship them. If you're not sure about info in a retelling or story, then search it up or ask someone you know.

There are multiple blogs on tumblr who can tell you more information about the actual Greek Gods and they're pretty nice about it too, so don't be too afraid.

[puc-puggy]

fyi, black salve is a corrosive agent. while there are medical reasons to remove skin, the best way to remove skin is to have a trained doctor use a knife or sauter and remove exactly what needs removed in clean cuts rather than dumping goopy acid over the whole thing and hoping it takes out what it needs to without damaging anything else.

it was useful in the 1500s before we knew about sterilization. it is not useful now. clean/cauterized wounds in a sterilized medical office is safer and better for preventing infection than a pockmarked acid burn caused by an uncontrolled substance in a tin you bought from the same lady that thinks drinking .00000000001% dilution of rosemary in water will cure bipolar disorder.

there is no medical benefit to giving yourself acid burns. any medical benefits gained by removing skin is better done with a knife and/or sauter.

Me: I really dislike Complimentary and Alternative Medicine and support evidence-based treatments for illness.

Always, every single time, someone in the tags: Yeah I can't believe people buy into that. I'm less hard-line than OP on this so I'll eat clay to treat nausea, but homeopathy is bullshit.

[star-trek-shallot]

Kirk: Y'know, subtlety isn't exactly my strongsuit...

Bones: No, Jim, cooking "isn't your strong suit." Subtlety is the realm in which you have completely set new standards of failure and ineptitude.

source: the gods are bastards via @incorrect-american-girl