#incorrect a song of ice and fire quotes

[shining-m00nlight]

Some time ago in the Vale:

Ned: Well, who cuts people's hair in the middle of the night?

Robert: I do! They call me the Midnight Barber.

Ned: Yeah, well that's an infringement of people's liberties. So don't ever be doing that to me.

Robert: I DO do it to you.

Ned: ...what?

Robert: Who d'you think cuts your hair, Maester?

Ned: My hair just doesn't grow very fast

Robert: What, you think it stays that length naturally? I'm in there in the night, styling away.

Ned: How dare you do that to me in the night, when I'm oblivious.

Robert: I do my best work when you're oblivious. I lean you up against the pillow, and I go at you.

Ned: That's perverted!

[hauntedbythenarrative]

Alicent shitposting pt. 38

[vriska-martell]

2x03 - “The Burning Mill”

[angelofthenight]

Rhaenyra: Hey Daemon can you do something for me?

Daemon: I would literally cover up a murder for you, plant my DNA at the scene and take the blame

Rhaenyra: great. Can you do the dishes for me?

Daemon: no

[mutedmya]

Jace: did you just bite me? What, were you raised by wolves?

Cregan: yeah. Wanna meet them?

Jace:

Jace: yes.

[animezinglife]

Cassian [about Nesta]: I've seen the way she looks at me. Eris: How does she look at you? Like she wants to carve you up and eat your liver? Cassian: You do know her. :)

[emptyportrait]

Jon: Okay i have to ask.....i get it that why you have three dragons, but what's the deal with that little rat who's always following you around?

Dany: ???

Ser Barristan: His name is Jorah mormont.

[mmelolabelle]

a 100% accurate depiction of Alicent and Daemon in 1x08

[fandomnerd9602]

Can you please write Daenerys x Yandere Reader?

Daenerys giggles as Y/N wraps silk around her wrists...

Y/N: promise to behave?

Daeny: no promises, my love

Y/N kisses her only for Daeny to playfully bite their lip...

Y/N: you're terrible (laughs)

Daeny: only for you

[valarmorghulisarya]

Jon: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?

Arya: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Gendry, deer!"

Jon: ...And what did Gendry do?

Arya: ...He said, "Yes, Honey?"

[favichanwriter]

Our boi Gendry buying a "father's day" gift card (Westerosi father's day pt. 1)...

Gendry: Excuse me, do you have a "I haven't seen you in my entire frickin life, but you sired me, so here's a gift" card?

Salesperson: No...?

Gendry: Do you have a "you banged my mom once" card?

Salesperson: Also, no...?

Gendry: Whatever. I'll just have a blank one, thanks.

Inspired by a Percy Jackson incorrect quote I saw on tmblr.

[shining-m00nlight]

Ned: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Sansa: 'Prettiest Smile'

Robb: 'Nicest Personality'

Theon: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Jon: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

[hauntedbythenarrative]

[vriska-martell]

2x03 - “The Burning Mill”

[angelofthenight]

*at the mall*

Alicent: Excuse me? I lost my son, Aegon. Can I please make an announcement?

Employee: Of course.

Alicent, leans into mic: Goodbye you little shit.

[mutedmya]

Otto: Daemon isn't answering his phone.

Rhaenyra: I'll call.

Viserys: Otto and this entire council have been trying to call him six times each, what makes you thi-

Daemon: Hello?