#incorrect Nico Di Angelo

[do-not-call-me-sunshine]

Nico: I think I’m having a mid-life crisis.

Will: You’re like 15 years old

Nico: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!!!

[incorectpercyjackson]

Nico: *Wears a slightly lighter shade of black*

Will: I see you're busting out the spring colours

[jubileesstuff]

Nico: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-

Jason: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

[ramen8008]

Percy: Annabeth and I are adopting

Nico: oh that's cool wh-

Percy: *Slams papers on table* It's you, sign here

[existingkindasucks]

Nico: *sigh* Percy: That is a big sigh for someone so small.

[the-goddess-of-gays]

I need a fic where Nico attempts to explain his sexuality to Hazel without realising that she's even more bewildered by modern-day terminology than he is

Nico: Hazel... I'm gay. Hazel: Are you sure? Because you seem kind of depressed, actually. Nico: Nico: Hazel–

some similar conversations would include:

Percy: There's no excuse for homophobia! Hazel: Why would you be afraid of homo sapiens? Percy: ??? Piper: Hey, Hazel, are you queer? Hazel: Well, I'm a demigod. Of course I'm queer. Piper: *meant lgbtq* ...what? Hazel: *meant weird/peculiar* What? Frank: Hazel, you're an ally, right? Hazel: *offended* Did you think I might be a Nazi? Frank: What? No, I– Hazel: Are you a Nazi?! Frank: No! No, of– Hazel: *dramatically swoons*

[luh-lloyd-garmadone]

Percy: It’s dark as fuck in here, anyone got a flashlight ?

Nico: Yeah , hang on

Nico:*picks Will up, cracking his back *

Will:

Will: *starts to glow*

Percy : 𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝒻𝓊𝒸𝓀

[percabethownsmybutt]

percy: the path to inner peace starts with four words

percy: not my fucking problem

[mysterylilycheeta]

Leo: Do you want to see a butterfly? Jason: Yes Nico, Piper, and Annabeth: NO! Leo: *throws the butter across the table* Percy: Fucking majestic

[urfavsherlockholmeskinnie]

Nico: *yells at Leo in Italian*

Leo: *yells back in Spanish*

Piper: *interrupts them in French*

Will: *says something with his southern accent*

Percy: what the fuck is happening here?

[hyperfixation-fix]

Kayla, showing a new Apollo camper around the cabin while Will is on duty in the infirmary:

...so this is your bed over here-

*pats bed*

-make yourself at home, and this-

*pats Nico's head, who is dozing on a beanbag*

-this is our pet Spawn of Satan, but don't worry! Will has had him de-clawed-

Nico, without moving: I'll kill you Kayla, I swear to god.

Kayla: -but he's still working on socialising him.

Nico: They'll never find the body Kayla, I'm dead serious. I know places.

Camper: ....man you guys are weird

[do-not-call-me-sunshine]

Grover: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It’s terrible for the environment!

Nico: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

[incorectpercyjackson]

Nico: Hello, YouTube! Welcome to this week's unboxing video!

*Nico, walking into a graveyard with a shovel in his hand*

[jubileesstuff]

Nico: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Percy: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Jason walks in*

Percy: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

[lilislegacy]

percy, sighing: why are you all in my dorm room

piper: we were bored

hazel: we wanted to see you

nico: we were looking for your blue candy stash

frank, will, and grover: *guiltily looking away from him*

percy: please guys, i had to go to 4 lectures today and took 2 exams. i’m exhausted and just want to go to sleep

leo: ah come on, you know you secretly want to hang out with us

percy: well in about 10 seconds i’m gonna take my pants off, so if anyone wants to stay-

*everyone immediately gets up to leave*

percy: goodnight!

annabeth: leo, i see you crouching behind the mini fridge

everyone staring at him:

leo: what? you’re telling me that none of you are even a little bit curious?

annabeth: get out.

[existingkindasucks]

Will: What's your favourite sport Nico: Meditation. It minimalises social violence. Will: Social violence? Percy: MINIMALISES?!