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Thinking about an overly dramatic au/retelling where Claus doesn't get the lobotomy and is instead a smartass all game...
#polly draws#mother#mother series#mother 3#mother 3 spoilers#masked man#claus mother 3#masked man mother 3#pigmask#lucas mother 3#earthbound#and he lives btw. bc i said so.#he still loses his memory he just gets to have a personality this time#for the record though this is purely in the realm of self indulgent enjoyment. I think the original spirit of mother 3 is extremely#incompatible with this concept#i am just playing with my tuoys
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[Avengers Academy: Marvel's Voices Infinity Comic (2024) #29]
[Daredevil (1964) #270]
#Marvel#Daredevil#Avengers Academy#Blackheart#Abigail Housman#Just me enjoying this comic; still nothing to see here#I wouldn't say I have the highest regard for how the AA series handles Blackheart. (He's just incompatible with the overall tone.)#but I can still enjoy this more somber issue with a throwback all the way to his first appearance#Giving her botanist roots tying in with his rose motif is goooood#The way he talks about her is so kind and reverent#as if he thinks of her as his mother or the like#But it was her brutal death which created him which is tragic#(He grew roses for her I decided. But because he is so tainted he did it wrong. Making more thorns than flowers.)#Blackheart as a character and concept is so GOOD#I need him to be in more comics I actually want to read haha#Come back to DD my son#We're doing demons so there's never been a better time#Long Post
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The best thing that came out from the latest interview is everyone agreeing that there's only one person who can Give Akutagawa's Life A Meaning and that person is Nakajima Atsushi
#I've taken on this habit to go through the sskk tag on Tuesday evenings–#and it was so cute to see like ten different people come to the same conclusion#I wouldn't even know if I agree tbh.#Like I needed to think about it for a while‚ but the thing is that I've always seen Atsushi's existence as a death penalty for Akutagawa.#Atsushi doesn't give Akutagawa's life a meaning in the way Atsushi is the reason Akutagawa is going to die in the end.#But it's because he loves him all the same y'know?#Akutagawa being a creature that is just so incompatible with the concept of love‚ loving someone will have him die‚ and die he did–#but he could have never not loved Atsushi#That being said Atsushi giving Akutagawa's life a meaning is still a super cute take 10000/10#and it was so heartwarming to see everyone agree (╥﹏╥)#ryūnosuke akutagawa#atsushi nakajima#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd#bungou stray dogs#mine
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Do you believe Lightbearers are changed biologically from before they became Lightbearers?
Can't believe I forgot to answer this- I genuinely thought I did until I was scrolling through my inbox and saw it pop up again. Oops.
Anyways, my headcanon is that yes, Lightbearers are biologically different than non-Lightbearers- they become so when their ghost is rezzing them for the first time. During the first rez, their bodies are essentially restructured to better suit being a vessel of Light, with far greater phsyical resiliance, capacity, and overall durability being granted as a boon from the Traveler so that they're not torn to shreds when using even the most basal abilities. Even Lightless, they're still much stronger than a baseline human, they cannot age (their telomeres simply do not degrade and their DNA repair kit becomes more accurate, so they don't incur the gradual DNA loss/nonspecific remedies that lead to the maladies of old age), and they're still paracausally sensitive, even if their conduit for channeling the Light has been cut. Outside of the never-aging and paracasal-sensitivity thing, the effect isn't drastic, but they are still noticibly hardier than a person who'd never directly touched the light of the Traveler would be. Eris, Zavala, and Osiris could be beaten by a sufficiently strong mortal in an arm wrestling contest, for example, but they're all able to learn to use Darkness/walk off injuries with an ease that a Lightless mortal cannot.
After the first rez, additional permanant change is possible, but it requires either paracausal alteration (such as wounds created by Darkness, wounds that were earned and began healing in a no-light zone, or subconcious paracausal alteration, where the Guardian's own body rejects the touch of the Light), or deliberate ghost manipulation. I like to headcanon that by using the Light in much the same way that they would heal, Ghosts can learn to tweak parts of their guardian's bodies to be altered to their liking, which is a method by which transitioning post-rez occurs, in the instance that one was not an exo or did not medically transition before death. It's extremely delicate, but all they have to do is use their bond and the Light to go 'hey, you're missing something, you need to make more of this hormone or grow more of this tissue to fully heal', and bam, gender transed :) This fully depends on the skill of the ghost, however, so its a slow process even if it can theoretically lead to a full transition over time, and certain tissues can only atrophy so far before they need to be cut off. In the case of exos, all the ghosts need to do is block the mental disconnect between the body alterations and the perception of what those should be, and that's about it
#the gender transing also stays bc the 'last save file' of a ghost“#'s guardian is constantly updating. like an every second refresh#destiny 2#d2 headcanon#headcanons#koraxese-8#reply#the 'lightbearers are physically different post rez' thing is a lil different for guardian infertility tho.#thats basically bc the light is a class-a mutagen so the gametes of lightbearers are functionally useless#its like the opposite effect of radiation. instead of dna damage the dna of the gametes are rapidly evolving#and this is occurring at such a fast rate that they're incompatible with other#'s gametes. there's just never a perfect match and theyre always in too much flux#post-lightloss its not quiite the same but the concept is still there#in that the dna no longer matches a baseline human well enough to produce viable embryos#theyre not shooting blanks or developing bum eggs they just arent human anymore#(and even in the miracle event the gametes can fertilize. that thing aint implanting. or developing into a viable embryo)#(too much Light interference to be viable)
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A thought. Because new Pillar Guardians are chosen at birth and we know that in Nosgoth souls are physically real and tied to the workings of the Pillar and Reaver, would that mean that in the LoK universe a soul enters the body at birth? Maybe at first breath like some real world faiths believe?
That would tie in nicely with Kain's speech in Soul Reaver 2, "As Ariel dies, I am being born to take her place" and how as a result he was corrupted at the moment of his first cry.
#legacy of kain#I think this fits in better than a soul sort of coalescing in the spectral realm during pregnancy which is my other theory#souls appearing at conception is obviously right out or kain's parents would have banged hours or days before ariel died#which is not only incompatible with canon but it's also very silly to imagine an au where that is the case#the grand dramatic speech would be totally ruined#so i'm going with the theory of the first breath being the moment souls enter bodies in nosgoth. would love to hear other theories
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Oooh, definitely glee for the fandom asks! <3
Always with the hornets' nests with these ones, I see! Though i don't think there's a fandom out there that isn't in some way a hornets' nest once it gets large enough... hm. Alright. I'm just gonna be as honest as i can be about this, and tag accordingly.
Glee:
my favourite female character: augh. argh. ouph. so difficult. so hard. Since I'm working off of half-remembered show and half recently-rewatched show... its a tossup. Mercedes, Santana, Quinn. Probably Mercedes. She did nothing wrong ever in her entire life <3 well okay maybe except that one time she smashed kurt's car windows (but it was a banger song, though). Can't say Santana because of the Biphobia TM and other things like excessive use of bigotry-based insults, and Quinn. Oh god girl. Cheating is not cool! Funnily enough! So I find them really interesting but 'favourite' is hard to say. Mercedes. Mercedes for sure <3
my favourite male character: Blaine sam blaine sam blaine sam yes. I am imitating ripping petals off of flowers and coming to a conclusion based on which is the last name i said. So I guess that means Sam! But really this is a tie.
my favourite book/season/etc: Mannnnn idk. I don't like shows for seasons as-a-whole. Also i could not tell you what happened in any given season if you held a gun to my head. I'm not good at that. The only shows i know 'seasons' of are Buffy and Teen Wolf because i've watched them like 100000000000 times (exaggeration) for various reasons (mostly fanfiction research).
my favourite episode (if its a tv show): I can tell you my LEAST favourite episode (blame it on the alcohol, thank you Kurt king of biphobia! this is a persona foible it's not the worst episode in the show. by far. by far. it's kind of an average one. I'm just angry at it.) BUT er. Favourite? Idk. Genuinely some of the earlier Kurt-centric stuff was really well done (his convo with Burt... <3) and the Quinn giving birth accompanied by bohemian rhapsody was obviously iconic, but if I'll be honest I couldn't name any episodes of this show (other than That One previously stated, anyway). And yeah most of the time they were named after song titles and No i don't remember those song titles either. I'm just so bad at this. My memory is that of a goldfish's being haphazardly bounced around on a sieve.
my favourite cast member: it would be really funny if I said Demi Lovato [she counts!] but the truth is N/A: i don't know these people !!! They are strangers!! (i don't. follow celebrities. at all. I couldn't even name most of them. They're just people doing a job and their lives are irrelevant to me beyond their ability to perform that job well. I do not need to know where they live and what coffee they drink. Stalker shit tbh. I'm kind of a very private person myself, so rpf-adjacent stuff just... creeps me out. I've never watched a single cast interview in my lifetime and I'm not about to start!)
my favourite ship: Difficult to say! Grave and obvious lie. Blam. It's blam. Quintana is a close runner up though Santana really needs to stop dating people who cheat on the regular (I'll accept Quinn has grown enough not to do this by the time a Quintana coupling would be viable - and satisfying in terms of character arcs - narratively speaking).
a character I’d die defending: Blaine Anderson did something wrong for sure but like Kurt did it first so shrugs. Cancels out. Bad for each other! Case closed!
a character I just can’t sympathize with: genuinely don't remember if I had one of those the first time around because I was like 10 and just didn't pay attention if I didn't care, but Terri and her racist self take that 'prize' this time, alongside the obvious predator in the room [original choir teacher. Sandy? I forget his name immediately after hearing it. He doesn't deserve to be remembered]. Also JBI is just.... a yikes character all around. I mean, he's a blatant stereotype for one, in a the people who wrote this person don't like jews kind of way. Unfortunately common stereotype too, for the era, so not only is he that, he's also lazy. Just a one-note pervert who's the butt of various antisemitic 'jokes' you've heard from era-peer shows a million times over, tired and awful and a sour reminder of bigotry that continues to this day. Really regrettable character who's lack of redeeming qualities was probably purposeful. (I know Rachel and tina are also jewish, but this comes up very rarely and mostly only when santana needs to say something kind of fucked up, as is her modus operandi, for 'comic relief'. Tina's jewish-ness wasn't even canon for several seasons, because she didn't have a surname or a family or anything resembling complex character depth for several seasons. The one time I really remember Rachel's religion being important was when she was pressuring Kurt into believing in some kind of god, which??? don't do that. Bad example. Trying to guilt trip a friend into faith sucks. I take back what i said earlier Mercedes did that too. Boo. Girls try again that was a bad showing all around. Though i have no idea why Kurt went the acupuncture route as his 'secular' option but i think that has to do a lot with the writers doing literally no research ever once in their lives (you can tell they don't by the way they write the football segments of the show, which make no sense according to football fans who watch Glee, of which there are numerous because real life isn't like fiction where you can only like music or sports. Most of the kids in my school year were doing the most of everything ever if they were the 'popular' ones - we do that differently; popularity isn't really based on who know know; for some bizzare reason literally everyone knew who I was? Even people I'd never spoken to?? - but more about like... how much you can do, I guess. Overachievers, but I'm not saying that negatively; these people were generally - generally - very nice, and surprisingly chill for people who had no spare time whatsoever. I'm not entirely sure when they slept; A* across the board, at least one sport, at least one instrument, several extracurriculars, parties every weekend, dozens of friends and an s.o. . Eh? Way too much going on. Scary lifestyle! Impressive burnout rate, probably. Er. Tangent! Back to the scheduled programming).) There's uhhhh there's a lot of bad characters on the show, but i'd say Sandy and Terri and her equally but more loudly racist sister are truly completely irredeemable ones. Like they're not interesting or anything, they're just there to be narrative annoyances (which, in the case of Sandy specifically, is insane. Arrest that man!!! He has actively sexually assaulted minors!!!).
a character I grew to love: difficult to say because I tend to just make an opinion and stick to it. Also i don't remember who i liked at first and who i didn't, this show came out when i was eight. I didn't watch it until I was a little older than that, of course, but I frankly have spotty memory until my late teens, so! I'm not sure!! Quinn, probably. Pink-hair-era Quinn helped me understand her more, and seeing the moments of kindness hidden behind practical cruelty, when you understand her family and situation, makes things make a lot more sense. It takes a lot to get me to sympathise with a cheater, but I can see where Quinn was getting all turned around in her head about life because of her upbringing and socialisation, not to mention the profoundly negative impact cheerios had on her mentally and that the school's culture in general was not exactly a breeding ground for empathy and optimism.
my anti otp: can you tell (klaine). I don't dislike Kurt!!! Please let him have a fun chillaxed boyfriend in new york with his vogue friends. But also please stop attempting to control other people's diets thank you!! Thank you!! I'm of mixed feelings. Blaine and Kurt both did at least one bad, relationship-ending thing, and proved over and over again that they just weren't on the same wavelength in regards to life goals and ways of living it. They can't even share the same living space, which is kind of required for a functional marriage. I don't know, it just seems like they settled for their first proper, serious boyfriend even if that's not really the best match, and I... wish they'd just got to see more of life first, you know? They got married at like 20! Or something! I'm 23, I cannot imagine getting married at 20. That's a baby. Let them live first!
(same for Santana and Brittney, imo. I also don't really like them together because Santana and Brittney have very different ideas regarding monogamy, which is just never going to go down well in the long run. If your girl cheats on you like twenty times and tells you to your face its not cheating in her view of things, but you think it is, break up with her because you'll just make each other miserable. Brittney sort of seems incapable of feeling guilt but if she were, this kind of moral pressure would be Not Good, and obviously Santana isn't comfortable with the idea and doesn't have to be!! Just move on!!! Find other people!!!! Don't marry your first girlfriend if you've broken up like ten times this is simple!!!! Please!!!! But Klaine wins out over Brittana because - in my opinion, glee fandom please do not persecute me, I am known for this specific thing - I see... interactions that verge on abusive between Klaine that I don't see in Brittana. So. Oof? Ex; use of public perception to disguise attack; deliberately hurting Blaine in a stage-combat fencing match (you are not meant to make actual contact in these) and thus using Blaine's own dislike of making his difficulties common knowledge against him in order to 'punish' him. This is no good! Don't do this!!.[Also just to err vaguepost about a comment.... that is. not. what i would call passive aggressive. Physically attacking someone with a sword - no matter the type of sword, fencing foils hurt just as much, they're just not stab-you sharp... er, these days - is just straight-up aggressive.]).
Note that negative things stick in the mind better than positive ones; on a rewatch I may well alter my opinion!
But also I'm really, really stubborn. So it's not likely. Klaine.
#how the fuck do i tag this#glee#glee shite#ask game#anti-klaine#anti-brittana#anti-kurt#though it isn't because i do like him genuinely one of the better characters. he just... doesn't treat blaine great because they're#fundamentally incompatible romantically. and that's fine! but taking this out on each other isn't.#augh. i hate talking about controversial shit a;lksfja;slkf i used to get So Scared of anon hate mobs you have no idea#if i thought something could get that i simply would never ever not one even dare to think it. let alone say it online in a private forum#(dms with my friends) or god forbid a public post#so. this is growth!#you could say i just got a really weird form of catholic guilt about dissenting from public opinion when i was like 14. you'd also probably#be correct! As I was catholic. And all. Not very devout mind you (did not. go to church.) but still#anyways.#... there's so much i could say about brittany as a character but i'd have to rewatch to make sure i was being accurate about her.#so much that isn't exactly glowing commendation. to be clear.#augh. this show gives me so many very very mean thoughts about it. because it does things so very meanly most of the time#it handles beaste well. Coach Beaste is great. 11/10 character#but so much other stuff it gets just so wrong. just so wrong#(also i never finished the show. actually like genuinely i just missed a whole portion of it. so if they fuck up Beaste at some point I hav#not seen I'll be really really mad.)#(I found out about some of the later events-second hand. i don't 100% know how the brittana marriage goes down but i just... don't like it#as a concept. like at all. they're too young and too unstable for that shit.)#(basically; towards the end i was still watching the show on tv. so i missed whole swathes of episodes thanks to how tv works. do not miss#that headache!)#augh. i should shut up now and go to bed. midnight.)#<3 thanks for the ask! Hope i didn't say anything you disagree with too strongly...
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Why “steam oppression” fundamentally fails as a social metaphor and I do not respect canon Rusty as a character (and will never portray him positively)
Disclaimer: this is nothing against performers. It is a very top-down criticism largely aimed at writers and higher staff and purely about train history and politics. I’d be neutral to positive on Rusty if he was anything but a steam engine in the time period he’s in. But as-is, he is an immensely hateable character the more you actually know about trains. He is so compellingly and deeply hateable he would actually be an amazing villain.
Anyways, here’s my manifesto on why I am this way. It’s not stuff like “he’s annoying” this is actually stupidly long, detailed, thorough, and weirdly politically serious. Sources are very scattered but if you want one for a specific claim, I’m happy to provide.
The ironic thing about Rusty is that he first pissed me off BECAUSE I’m actually familiar with the Railway Series and the irl context behind those books. They were very intelligently written and realistic but also of their time and place. The steam-diesel conflict was very specifically based on the 60s-era transition in the UK and it just does not translate to other time periods. Steam preservation was in full swing by the 80s, they were not rounding up and scrapping or abandoning them at that point, groups were grabbing basically everything salvageable from Barry Scrapyard. So I could smell that he was a poorly-executed knockoff and his framing was patently ahistorical from the start. If I weren’t this way I might eat up his concept hook, line, and sinker like the rest of the fandom. But I’m not, and the more I’ve read the more I get actively pissed at his concept beyond finding him merely cliche. It’s kind of staggering just how deep my hatred for him has continued to become
So now I will give a hard counter to just about every social metaphor I’ve seen ascribed to him.
Discrimination-
When steam engines were officially banned from places, it was for reasons like “asphyxiating and possibly even killing people in tunnels” “being a legitimate fire hazard due to stray sparks” and/or “being absolutely filthy”. I think you can see why this is a really terrible idea for fantasy racism. And for what it’s worth, diesel and electric engines have also been barred from some places for these reasons too (diesel fumes in tunnels, electric sparks around explosives). This direction fails because “discrimination” against most forms of traction irl are generally for very justified safety reasons.
Ableism-
This almost works, if the show was set in the 50s or 60s I might be able to respect this angle. Steam engines had terrible uptime due to how long it takes to fire them up/down and way higher physical maintenance than anything diesel or electric. They just genuinely can’t do as much work as well as diesel or electric engines could (with the caveat that early British diesel engines were largely a dumpster fire). The problem is in the preservation era, tourist lines got downright EXTRAVAGANT with how far they’d go to accommodate steam engines. This was the era when they were pulling Duke of Gloucester out of a scrapyard and managing to fix its mechanical faults so it finally ran right. This was when Disney bought decrepit narrow gauge steam engines from Mexico and replicated a lot of their parts because it was still better than acquiring a new build. Clinchfield Railroad #1 eventually could only make enough steam to run its whistle and got scooted around with two B-unit diesel engines disguised as baggage cars. So you have the huge issue that Rusty actually COULD “just get a job” and probably have multiple places fighting over him and offering him any physical help he needed. Especially as a small, mechanically functional switcher. Those are VERY valuable vs larger engines on short, slow museum lines. Even among diesel and electric engines there are far more opportunities for smaller models at them because you just don’t need or want something larger, faster, and higher maintenance. Just look at any museum/heritage line roster.
Classism-
You could make a case that the very last non-tourist revenue steam engines were in poor, rural areas where fuel and labor were cheap and there wasn’t access to any better technology. We’re talking coal mines in rural China and sugar cane plantations. But then you have the problem that being “left behind” is actually the most favorable thing for steam engines. For how much Greaseball is posed as the conservative establishment (and this is an accurate depiction of diesel power in the US), steam was the previous, even more conservative establishment! There’s nothing “young” or upstart about it, it was around for 150+ years when the show came out and was thoroughly bested by electric traction as early as the turn of the century, but largely held on due to the expense of electrification, maturity and established infrastructure of steam technology, and lack of need for the advantages of electrification in many areas. Sheer inertia vs actual technological merit. Destruction and technological stalling in electric/diesel engine development during and after WWII easily gave steam another decade or two in the US and western Europe. And modernization was its infamous death knell in the UK after all.
As for why lines clung to steam engines longer in wealthier countries, it also wasn’t a rich vs poor thing. Steam engines have absolutely colossal labor costs in terms of maintenance vs diesel engines and far lower uptime (30ish percent). Broke railroads like the New York Central were often faster at totally axing it if anything. The ones that held on longer? Usually coal haulers that wanted to keep that power source relevant, like the C&O or N&W. You want a “poor” train? Try a battery-powered mining “lokie” that railfans often forget exist, or decrepit diesel switcher that’s bounced down the ladder over 70 years, or one-off “critter” built out of spare parts. One of the weird Nacionales de Mexico SLP diesels made of frankensteined scrap engines would be an AWESOME basis for Ferro since there was a lot of local pride in their ingenuity and resourcefulness. The last couple freight lines with steam engines in the US were mostly side gigs for tourist operations or short lines with railfan owners willing to float them along as a novelty. On the other hand, there’s a totally non-touristy freight shortline in a sad town in Iowa with 100+ year old steeplecab electrics with trolley poles that are likely the older locomotives in revenue service in the US (Iowa Traction Railway).
Now, to directly challenge some lines given in songs
“This was not the dream I dreamed when they first let my fire/mainline coaches streamed behind as my steam rose higher/switching and hitching at everyone’s call hadn’t occurred in my vision at all”
Most dedicated switchers top out at maybe highway speeds at absolute max, probably closer to 30 mph or even walking pace. Look, you could make a compelling plot about being fundamentally unsuited for your dream job. But a switcher farting around at that slow a pace on a major rail line is like riding a horse and buggy on a major highway, during rush hour, where everyone else is getting screamed at by their bosses for being late and threatened with termination. And you wonder why they hate him so much? This is especially infuriating with just how ugly mainline train conditions were in the 70s-80s US, this guy could just get a comparatively cushy museum job instead of getting in the way at something he’s cartoonishly unqualified to do that’s wildly unglamorous vs his romantic conceptions anyways. Dear god just read anything about actual mainline rail in the US from WWII-80s. It was ROUGH. This was the era of bankruptcies, mergers, Amtrak being created to save passenger rail from taking down the whole system because it had become such a money pit. Just looking at photos, maintenance was in dire straights. But you know what was on the up and up? Steam preservation. Amusement parks were even buying new build ones for park trains after they ran out of historical ones to rebuild. If Rusty was actually a new-build steam engine, he’d probably be one of those, and there’s not way he WOULDN’T have been wanted, you don’t just accidentally buy a very niche piece of antiquated machinery only valued in the tourism market.
“Didn’t have the chances didn’t have the breaks”
“Wasn’t in the right place at the right time”
Already discussed earlier but steam VERY MUCH got both of these around WWII.
“You along have the power within you/needn’t ask the world to turn around and help you” and “with steam you’ll be under your own control”
Are blatant references/dogwhistles for Reagan/Thatcherite politics. That part’s even agreed to be deliberate even by the critics of the day and even actors in the show, and becomes downright sinister when you remember how much bootstrapping was weaponized against the poor to destroy social programs and blame their woes on their personal choices. This is also a massive part of why the social metaphor part of Rusty makes him WILDLY hateable, he’s just so blatantly written by out of touch rich white guys in line with a catastrophic conservative agenda with a long and proven track record of just making things worse. Not to mention it’s been terrible for trains in both the US and UK, lack of investment and privatization are major reasons why they suck compared to most similarly wealthy countries. And as a bonus: steam engines physically caused more damage to infrastructure by corroding wires with smoke/steam and hammer blow to the track. Much like how those policies lead to lack of investment in infrastructure and even outright destruction of government agencies in favor of privatization (that usually is less efficient and profit rather than service-driven). Nothing has made me MORE of a big government type than getting into trains because passenger and electric rail are near impossible for private business to sustain long term. Hell, the Starlight Sequence is arguably “Tomorrow Belongs to Me” but for trains, under the veneer of sentiment is an ugly political message spelling all their doom and you probably fell for the propaganda. It’s the kind of song you play over stats about how little money Reagan and his successors have given Amtrak over headlines about the Northeast Corridor’s infrastructure problems. That’s what it’s calling for and it’s horrifying if you are a French/German/etc train from a country with a nationalized system.
Anyways, my unhinged and increasingly conspiratorial rant about Rusty’s massive parallels to Reagan are at the very end of this post. I’ve tried to keep this main section mostly based on established fact and that side of things starts falling into more bad faith interpretation.
MY PROBLEMS WITH STEAM IN THE MEDIA
On one hand, I will actively cheer on characters being mean to Rusty because he is just so justifiably hateable. On the other hand, the anti-steam stuff in canon makes me bonk my head against a wall because it reminds me of God Isn’t Dead. It’s just wildly fictionalized and completely counter to real-life sentiment, acting like the whole world hates something that is culturally dominant and wildly lionized irl that if anything, you’ll get more backlash for criticizing.
I went to the Railroad Museum of Pennsylvania the other day. A railroad with a prominent electrified division and several unique electric engines in the museum. The model displays and gift shop were all steam engines and some early diesels with some token GG1s. Which are an amazing token and fully deserving of their iconic status but this was a railroad with a rich and influencial history of electrification and the rest of it gets glossed over. The kids’ books in the shop? 95% about little steam engines. I think there was one diesel and one caboose. Think about it,
The Little Engine that Could, Casey Jr, Thomas and the army of his knockoffs- it’s harder to think of fictional talking train characters who AREN’T small steam engines, especially in the Anglosphere. Even Pixar’s Metro seems to have slapped random steam engines into a city that literally banned them at the turn of the century. I wish it was known if this was a plot point or steamwashing, a weirdly prevalent phenomenon where media incorrectly shows steam trains in places where they would be electric (or sometimes diesel).
From a toy train angle? Don’t make me laugh most companies have steam, diesel and “token GG1” in the US. The cheaper you go, the more it’s all just steam engines and maybe an F-unit or some kind of freight diesel, but you won’t see anything electric besides maybe a trolley or Acela-adjacent train. And as another mark against the classism angle, electric engines or trolleys used to be the cheap option in the early days (pre-WWII) because it took a lot less detail to make a box with windows and even weirder shaped models like NYC S-motors and Milwaukee Road Bipolars were much simpler to make than steam engines shape/detail wise.
Why do I feel so strongly about this? Because rail electrification an actually relevant political topic in the Anglosphere that most people know very little about. I’d be a lot more lenient on all of this if it were Japanese, or if electrification had been a done deal worldwide and not a grinding, slow fight most people don’t even know about. Yes, I get fucking pissed at how finding historical info about electric trains usually involves major digging online or even buying physical books and much of train media is stuck in the 60s (and often ignores electric history outside the token GG1). Meanwhile children’s media is overloaded with irrelevant choo choos perpetually painted as underdogs while their MASSIVE faults are glossed over and it just perpetuates the cycle of disconnection from current train politics in favor of fighting over boomer-era steam vs diesel arguments.
REPRESENTATION MATTERS
It sounds absurd to apply to trains, but it really does. I was only into boomer trains before Electra and was largely detached from their modern problems. A lot of people into US electric trains only got into them because of old tinplate trains or models popularized by the toy market because their history is otherwise such an obscure thing for anyone under the age of 50 and/or outside urban areas. And even on the UK side, it’s a running thread on Railnatter that a lot of people just don’t know the reasons behind the issues in modern rail, what jobs there are available, the actual benefits of electrification (freight is something that battery/hydrogen is NOT a feasible solution for for power density reasons), and that electrification and rail infrastructure is a really “unsexy”, still genuinely nerdy topic.
It’s something that there’s not really a lot of entry level, beginner-friendly media on, you just go straight to transit youtubers yelling at you or niche books that are often a bit too technical for the layperson.
As I mentioned before, part of why I’ve always been really critical of Rusty is that kids media is absolutely SWAMPED with steam engines. Unless you live somewhere with them, you’re just not that likely to encounter and get emotionally attached to electric trains at an early age. Which is most of the US, Canada, and Australia, even a good hunk of the UK. You crank out yet another steam underdog story and you’ll probably get more people interested in preservation that lose interest after the 60s, check out from their modern politics, and see electric trains as magical boxes. Even as an antagonist with a lot of inaccurately and unfairly negative traits, Electra was what made me dig into electrification history and uncover this huge rabbit hole and weird counternarrative that’s just been ignored. It’s mystifying and kind of aggravating that almost nobody else seems to have gone that far into the character’s real life background vs eating the “rich, unreliable, futuristic and unattainable” thing hook line and sinker and cranking out stuff that’s just… tragically and offensively off base to the reality of electrification. It’s so frustrating because this one of the only major electric train characters in Anglophone mass media! Hell, the layperson probably has a better idea of lesbians are like and people are still massively critical of Girlball for falling into offensive stereotypes.
It sounds dismissive to compare actual objects to people but… rail electrification IS an important political issue in many countries that flies under the radar and can do way more good than most people realize. It’s basically the most efficient form of transportation there is but it’s passed off as mundane and even weak! So many pollution-related deaths can be spared per year with them vs cars and even combustion-powered trains. But it’s something you only really see in statistics that’s not very visible.
Roger Rabbit having a streetcar plot made a lot of people aware of their rise and fall. People tend to dig into hydrogen as a power source to learn more about Hydra and end up actually pretty critical of it. I wish Pixar’s Metro had happened because it would have filled that huge modern, urban gap for train media and seemed to have some interesting concepts going on.
While a lot of my opinions are sacrilegious, I think a lot of the attempts at social messaging in the show have a lot of potential if reinvented to be more relevant and accurate. Because that’s usually more interesting! Imagine the impact a show about the actual setbacks and problems of electrification in the US and UK would be. A lot of them parallel the perils of defunding social programs and tie in so much better to a narrative about racism or classism than romanticizing something that was the conservative establishment of tech in the early 20th century and legitimately outclassed by technology that actually was held back development-wise by WWII.
Counterpoints:
What about coal and emissions restrictions affecting heritage rail today?
This could be a genuinely interesting topic for talking train media but the real enemy in that case would be autos not facing the same harsh restrictions or governments using the “no carrots, only sticks” approach by not funding clean alternatives and just banning inefficient combustion vehicles (even for occasional use in small numbers)
What about legit issues of classism like electrification/rail improvement projects being centered on rich areas (see Caltrain and UK rail investment being very London-centered)?
Also something with potential, but the answer isn’t demonizing an efficient, proven method of transport (electrified rail) in the face of a dirty, inefficient, overall harmful “everyman” solution like cars or combustion engines, it’s promoting its expansion to poorer areas too. I will also raise the point that underinvestment has been a major historic and current threat to electric trains world over (see the history of interurbans and many de-electrified lines in the US, similar problems also exist in southern England). And in the broader scope of things, rich countries aren’t always the most electrified (see the US, Canada, and Australia vs India), it’s more a matter of government priorities, politics, and geography.
Fireless engines?
I’m actually totally down for a fireless steam vs battery electric vs diesel switcher faceoff…. they just don’t belong anywhere near mainlines and aren’t known for speed. Would be fantastic in a cartoon setting since fireless engines are well suited to factories, mines, and other popular funny cartoon backdrop settings. They’re a weird and niche piece of tech that’s well suited to specific settings and has had a bit of an uptick in recent use.
What about the “overpowered steam shunter” thing that happens with cheap toy trains like Smokey Joe?
This would be a hilarious angle if overpowered steam switchers weren’t so painfully cliche. It was an actual thing that some small low-end switcher models had unusually powerful motors for their size that didn’t work well at low speeds for actual switching but could make them go the scale equivalent of 300+ mph.
“X character is too old/anachronistic too!”
Oh, I have counterarguments for basically all of those!
Greaseball- Early 80s is really pushing it for an E/F unit in passenger use and UP ditched their passenger services a decade earlier…. but those specific models were very popular on corporate business trains, including UPs! They used E9s (common fanon pick tor Greaseball) as their main power until a few years ago when they started having wheel issues. Greaseball as a corporate pawn/propagandist is actually kind of awesome tbh
40s/50s era coaches-
lol, look up the Amtrak heritage fleet. They used stuff this old well into the 2010s. As a general rule, early-mid 20th century American railcars by companies like Budd and Pullman are built like absolute tanks. Several commuter agencies still use 50s-60s era gallery cars, VIA rail still runs stuff as old as 1947, and all those Amfleet coaches used on Amtrak are nearly 50.
Dome cars-
They were used less in the Amtrak era but still existed in substantial numbers… and had a revival in the late 80s! Look into Rader/Colorado Railcar and their crazy double-decker Ultradomes (often made from old gallery cars), which are mostly used on high end “land cruise” trains. So there’s your first class AND dome Pearl, who would also be Vegas Showgirl tier tall… but probably shouldn’t go too fast, especially around curves.
Caboose- Joke’s on you, these are still occaisonally used for a variety of things and weren’t too rare in the 80s. Notoriously, the Lac Megantic disaster train had a caboose used to hold Locotrol equipment, so there’s an explanation for how a “caboose” could control brakes (though it wouldn’t work on a steam engine)
Poppa/Momma- makes way more sense to be in the story than Rusty actually. Mainline steam excursions were more common in the US in the 80s before insurance issues caught up with them and many railroads banned them.
OLC Belle- Old Pullman cars are stupid common in museum and excursion settings, again, they are BUILT LIKE TANKS.
Electra as a CC 40100- It was a pretty weird pick to begin with, not sure if it was chosen for Electra because it looked cool and “80s” despite being older or because of the Trans Europ Express relation, the Kraftwerk song of that name directly mentions David Bowie. But these were still running and relevant in the early 80s. There’s actually an operational one in preservation too! They were actually some of the shortest lived Nez Cassé classes, others lasted well into the 2000s and even now and Slovenia and other countries still routinely run them.
(Never underestimate how absurdly old rolling stock can be. Outside of steam engines and cabooses ans heavy restrictions on 40+ year old freight cars in the US, you actually have a crapton of downright ancient cars and engines in revenue, non-tourist service. There is a reason why I say realism is anything but boring- it gives you a bunch of totally real possibilities way more interesting than media cliches)
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Bonus: unhinged political rant about specific modern-day unintended parallels. This is where I get way more conspiratorial and vitriolic
I’ve gone on about how preservation makes anti-steam sentiment as given stupid. But you know what did go out of favor in the late 30s and was treated as downright laughable to go back to after the 50s, just like the regular revenue use of steam locos in the US?
The kind of small-government conservatism Reagan preached. And the steam engines in the show promote. Barry Goldwater was openly mocked for it in the mid-60s. It was thought genuinely unthinkable to go back to.
Also a funny aside: probably 90% of those new build Crown Metal steam engines were dressed up in western themes. Literally cowboy actors, just like Reagan was.
Anyways, steam tourist lines actually do pretty great under private business. I’ve been surprised by how most of the ones in the US are for-profit. They also broadly benefit from lower regulations (increased safety standards after a boiler explosion in Gettysburg in the 80s led to end of Crown Metal Products because it wasn’t as easy to run real steam engines anymore). Rusty and Momma/Poppa focus on emotional appeals and “remember the good ol days??” and “computers bad!” sentiment with basically no concrete arguments or facts. EXACTLY LIKE REAGAN. Seriously, I talked to my boomer mom about how she remembered him (she hates him for taking her student aid) and she just kept naming stuff that canon specifically does to make steam engines look appealing. I’ll spare repeating my extended rant on how Electra’s framing vs actual electric trains closely parallels slander of “liberals” and government agencies and assistance in general, I already made that post.
Now time for some really ugly modern parallels. Rusty has some blatantly nice guy/incel-ish tendencies with expecting Pearl to be into him, insistance only on her and complaining about being alone (when he’s a legitimately unappealing partner). There’s actually some very compelling threads to him about despair politics and how they’re weaponized, it’s a pertinant thing in rail. Have people get fixated on a glamorous past and vaguely mad that it’s gone and impossible to bring back, while not explaining what actually happened. Which just stalls actual development and improvement and interest in modern rail economics and politics (and conveniently ties back into my aggravation at steam oversaturation in train media).
Greaseball is depicted as a shitty establishment (and fairly and accurately so) but what are the alternatives to him? Progress or regression? Guess which one canon frames as deviant and malicious and which one as good. Now how do mainstream narratives often frame progressive solutions to current problems vs regressive conservative ones that have failed repeatedly in the early 20th century but have often fallen out of direct memory over 80+ years? Treating steam as a good thing is just like how coal-fired steam engines were briefly considered as a solution to the past oil crisis vs just electrifying more lines. Fine, criticize the establishment, they suck! But fixing a broken leg by just sawing it off is a stupid approach. I get the appeal to being an edgy contrarian, I am one myself, but sometimes the alternative is WORSE.
So we have “bad contrarian answer to actual problems”, a character who is very incel loser-adjacent, who is wildly unqualified for a race he enters and pushes fossil fuels, who represents the older, ugly conservative establishment but still cries about being an underdog and hated despite DOMINATING the media. And then almost all the things pinned on competitors (unreliable, high maintenance, cheating on an uphill race against a steam engine, which are atrocious at that specifically) are the EPITOME of “every accusation is a confession” when you learn they’re things way more applicable to steam engines irl
Also he’s orange. And one of his more popular actors was THE original Turnov. Which is hilarious if accidental.
Can you see why I REALLY hate him for political reasons? It’s so absurdly serious for a character who probably never had this level of thought put into him but it just goes so deep and becomes so accidentally compelling. Even with barely any changes besides framing he’d become a surprisingly nuanced villain. And way more fitting to the agenda of a certain car-pushing anti-train electric oligarch multiple people have compared Electra to (which pisses me the fuck off because that guy is a train hater and fundamentally opposed to everything non-battery electric trains require and would stand for)
#rusty hate train#lol this is not mere character hate this is public evisceration#i will emphasize that this is less “liking this character is a red flag and this show is an active danger to society”#and more “this is blatantly a concept originally cooked up by out of touch rich white british guys but it is SO much worse the deeper you g#it’s more just a reflection of a lot of broader quieter rail politics and it’s frustrating how much potential a lot of things have#but you have to do some sacrificial things#but this is why i just kind of avoid rusty positive spaces and fans focused on him bevause our views are fundamentally incompatible
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I know Morrison's Batman tends to be considered one of the greats, and I am definitely warming up to it more than I did on my initial read, but there are still some elements of it I found really didn't mesh with me. I feel like I can say this a lot more concisely than I did during my initial readthrough of Batman and Robin 2009, plus I've had more time to reflect and actually form a coherent opinion that wasn't a gut reaction, and keep in mind that I've read Batman and Robin in a vacuum Morrison-wise and can't speak on it in the larger context of their Batman run, but aside from just. very odd writing of certain characters, I feel like one of the more significant things that rubbed me the wrong way with this storyline was that a lot of the "weirdness" I'd seen hyped up felt either inconsistent enough that it didn't have a significant presence for me, especially towards the end of the run, or very surface-level.
One of the runs I see hyped up as some of Morrison's greatest work is Animal Man, especially for its metafictional ending. I haven't gotten around to reading it yet, but I expect that I'll enjoy it, or find it very interesting at the least (although author-inserts can come across a bit arrogant sometimes imo.) The point is I've heard good things, that it comes down to a very interesting and one-of-a-kind conflict in the end, which made me in some part hopeful for similar with Batman and Robin, (although I do have to admit I was reading it in part to see how off his Jason really could be.) I didn't really find that, tbh. There definitely were genuinely weird plot points with impact on the story which I feel were really successful, unfortunately it seems like a lot of them were at the cost of any prior characterization for the characters involved. Damian has steel implanted into his spine which allowed Deathstroke to control his movements and set off his emotional connection with Dick, Talia just had to be written horribly for it to happen. Sasha is a really interesting parallel to Damian/Robin-in-general. The conflict around her grotesque mask permanently fused onto her face and the fear that it'll kill her completely to take it off, the scene in which she gets said mask in the first place/the dollotrons, and the concept of a villain getting their own Robin in someone completely unrelated to Batman and the impact their legacy has had is all really original and cool, it's just that it's all dependent on a bewildering version of Jason that directly contradicts all previous characterization save BftC. To me the tradeoff doesn't feel necessary, but the events are inventive and have weight in the larger story.
In other areas though, especially as the run wrapped up, the zaniness that I see hyped up a lot, while providing a unique atmosphere, felt a lot like set dressing more than anything. In retrospect, the first time I really noticed this was the Professor Pyg dance page back in issue 2 or 3, I believe? But it became much more frequent towards the end of the series. The entire city becomes infected with a viral drug by Professor Pyg which isn't a major threat and doesn't serve anything in the story much besides being wacky, letting Professor Pyg say odd things about his mother sometimes and putting Commissioner Gordon... in a dress! Zany! (Professor Pyg is eventually... presumably?... torn apart by a parade of dollotrons and his narrative importance dies with him.) Alongside the Morrison-original villains like Dr. Hurt and Professor Pyg, there's a mysterious new player in town who's been orchestrating everything, and after a dozen issues of mystery it's the Joker, but wearing a mask and making edgy "differently-abled" jokes!
Dr. Hurt is interesting, and I liked his part of the story if I ignored the panels of auxiliary weirdness thrown on to add to the vibe, and I think there's something fun and interesting there about the legacy of Batman vs. artistic interpretations with his motive of ruining the Wayne's legacy (made more apparent with his talk about the Batcave being "the way it was meant to be in his head," the manor and Batcave "his to ruin," but Dr. Hurt kind of fades out of the story as Batman returns and is defeated by Joker, laying a banana peel on the ground. In the context of the theme of artistic interpretation and Morrison's commentary that they never cared to pretend the story was going to end with anything but a return to the classic Batman, I actually find this really interesting. A character heavily defined and reinvented by Morrison's writing being defeated by one of the most iconic Batman characters with a classic comedy trick from the 19th century feels like the conclusion to the contrast between Batman's legacy and the artistic license of the authors writing the comics: you can have your personalized elements, but the legacy of Batman is elastic and unlikely to be molded by them: certainly it won't be destroyed. Despite this, it didn't change the exhaustion of seeing the Gravedigger's mask come off and settling in for another comic where the Joker is gonna be doing classic zany Joker stuff.
As much as I'm frustrated with the way Talia and Jason are written during this run, I didn't entirely hate it, and the more I think about it, the more I find things I like. Some of my frustrations come down to taste, and are an unavoidable product of my personal taste differing from a pro comic author who had an established writing career while I was going to elementary school. I feel like some previous Batman comics were referenced in really exciting ways, for example the combination of Bruce's absence, a drug being used to gain control over citizens, an odd demonic presence, an imposter cult leader (If you can call Dr. Hurt that) prolonging his life through magical rituals, the background detail of complete chaos in the city, and one of the main villains being torn apart by a crowd of his followers, from the limited number of straight-up-Batman storylines I've read, felt pretty strongly like a nod to The Cult. But even considering the commentary on creative license vs. the consistency of Batman as a pop culture icon, the feeling of reading the comic was frequently that I was being convinced of a weirdness that didn't extend through the story down to the actual structure or plot points of the issue I was reading (with exceptions, such as the Sasha + Professor Pyg thing,) and although I appreciate the message of the return to status quo in the ending, with the hype of the story's inventiveness and uniqueness on my mind, it was kinda disappointing to realize halfway through that for all the weird window dressing, the story would be commiting to a much more traditional turn than what I was expecting.
#batman and robin 2009#I’ll concede that in order to have this much to say I do find it interesting and engaging#this is besides the point but i also feel like one of my issues is that every character read like a similar brand of dickish#i see it hyped up so much that morrison writes very realistic and human characters#and i suppose that assholishness is a human trait#but every character felt like they were perpetually sick of each other or at least were aiming VERY hard for a snappy one-liner#which in turn made me a bit sick of them#like that is one narrow avenue of realistic human#i'm not saying the joker has to be bringing light and love im just saying at times it felt one note#also “bat-god” was immensely corny to me#honestly? I don't think I would hate the concept of Morrison's Jason nearly so much if he just wasn't part of the main canon#let's be clear that is not Jason Todd but the storyline they have going on with him is an interesting narrative#it plays into the theme of staple Batman elements interestingly#it's just deeply incompatible with the character of Jason Todd in the Batman comic series established in 1939#he and talia really are just necessary sacrifices for the story that Morrison wants to tell while characters like Joker can evade that#by virtue of being pop culture icons#it could work well with a different character or it could work well as an alternate universe#I'm just frustrated that it's a total 180 from everything previously established#and now is just a phase the character went through where his entire personality and belief system changed#Morrison seems to find the Joker much more compelling than Jason and I differ from them drastically in that sense#The most lauded emotional moment they wrote for Jason was him quoting Joker in the Killing Joke and that's all I can really say on that#sometimes I consider the possibility that Jason's bizarre fixation on branding is meant to be commentary on the cause for his call-in death#being that readers found him intrinsically unlikeable in the wake of dick but before Robin as a legacy became a convention of Batman#but I don't really believe they're interested enough in his specific character one way or the other for that to be intended#my overall experience of reading Batman and Robin 2009 is looking a a painting and being like oh this is Really good#and then every single brushstroke is a middle finger that sucks really bad#batman#robin#dc comics#grant morrison
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okay the website of my local church w the pride flags out front actually really slaps they have like 5000000 choirs and a page on their specific beliefs that is pretty slay actually, unfortunately for the part of my brain that thinks choosing to do this is insane for me
#like to be honest it seems very tailored to the things i would like to get out of going to church if i were to actually follow through on#this#particularly their attitude toward doubt and sin#doubt is welcome and even an expression of faith? intriguing!#sin is a part of what makes us human? thats what i think!#i however relish in sin and this may make me incompatible with ANY church#perhaps their response would be that what i was taught was sin is not actually sin and we will see if that sticks to me or not#i dont really like the concept of sin regardless of whether god is forgiving about it or not but i guess that would lead me to the last tag#like if we can agree that certain things are bad then sure i guess theoretically i can get on board with the concept of sin#there are some reads of the bible that lean more leftist or queer that intrigue me but which i don't know much about#if anywhere's gonna be open to that it'd probably be this church#they've got a food pantry as well which is nice. like as a church you SHOULD be doing mutual aid i think but you know#i think i would always relish in being a little blasphemous though. thats the spice of life thats why im alive#im rereading this. who the fuck says relish#thank god for the industriously cautious part of my brain though because i'm doing so much fucking research before even daring to step foot#in there#on the sect and on the church itself#i think this would be very much a me reading the bible to shape it to my life and beliefs thing rather than the opposite#maybe the real reason i want to go to church is so i can dom god#karinyo.txt
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"why does miguel purport two contradictory understandings of the canon framework" <- idealogical doublebind anchored by guilt.
also, important to remember the context of the second understanding (miles is an anomaly that can therefore can only cause harm) only appearing when miguel has emotionally cracked. all his supppressed doubt abt his path surfaces in a moment of high emotional tension and so he tries to cram his understanding of miles back into that framework from the opposite direction (no longer spiderman, instead as an outlier beyond it's boundaries: an anomaly), even though it cannot work. because miles' very presence is a beacon of doubt that he's accidentally doomed people all over again, and he's terrified he's done so.
#i feel like. analysis of miguel would benefit a lot from examining his actions with the question of 'why does this character suppress doubt'#in mind. as well as thinking about WHEN he purports certain views when the context clues to this character reinforce his sincere desire to#protect people from harm.#theres also something AGAIN surfacing imo about how miguel conceptualises his own spiderman identity given he still seems to be an#engineered spiderman and miles mirrors him in this not seemingly being Ordained by the canon. but thats speculation rn and we don't have#the info to actually. posit concrete analysis. but yeah one of the things i think people are getting tripped up by w miguel. is assuming he#is consciously considering both incompatible concepts simultaneously. when i think - given WHEN the second one surfaces and miguel's guilt#doublebind AND the tonal presentation of his breakdown - this makes the most sense to be something he's repressing.#tunes talks spiderverse
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Practicing daoism is fucked up because one day you'll just be minding your own business studying the words of Laozi and you find out there's other sects of daoists out there that practice daoism with the idea that cumming drains your life energy like you're the protagonist of some kind of succubus hentai game. Like luca from monstergirlquest
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I miss when Izuku allowed himself to have this kind of introspection about his past. It makes sense that Izuku admired this Bakugou who was just a confident leader type. And it makes sense that because he knew this Bakugou, he’s reluctant to really call him out like he should. I mean, how do you cope when your world falls apart, your dreams are crushed, and the person you admired intentionally becomes the source of your pain?
#bnha reread#bnha chapter 9#bnha#midoriya izuku#tbh shoujo manga handles the concept of friends falling out due to opposing values much better than shounen overall#not sold on the bakugou and izuku repairing anything bc of a lack of introspection izuku's part#and they still would fundamentally oppose each other on basic values and views of society#sometimes friendships end due to incompatible values and that's okay shounen
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so yes triumphant screeching at de-crapping the elf armour in this hell game may have temporarily been superseded by insane fucking shrieking that a quick and dirty test ACTUALLY WORKS? my dreams of having characters with a) not shit hair and b) modded hair that doesn't completely distract me the entire ass time I try to use it because the brain worms are too busy bitching about jesus christ girl get that hair out of your face YOU'RE GOING TO DIE
anyway I have an assignment on estuary invertabrates to write half a million .packages to raid for the good shit
#dragon age#dai modding#adventures in modding#this is actually more a hair I'd give my me2 era sheps#vs my very favourite lavellan but also quick and dirty proof of concepts and weight painting a long plait are incompatible#I WILL have my damn curly-haired characters actually have curly textured hair if it fucking kills me tho
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[shoots bolt upright in bed] rey and kylo are just reverse buffy and faith
#notebook#what if you were the Chosen One surrounded by family and friends who loved you but also knew that you were an invaluable weapon#and despite their best efforts they lost you to the siren song of 'want; take; have'#and then you meet someone else like you— you; who are supposed to be utterly singular!#fate handed them no loving parents; no flawed but ultimately well-intentioned teachers#just the same raw power that made you the way you are#and yet their conception of what they are is incompatible with your own#in a sense you *have* to believe your counterpart is wrong and naive; that they've come to the wrong understanding of your shared nature#because if they got to the right answer despite everything conspiring against them#and if you failed despite everything that broke in your favor#then what the hell is wrong with *you*?#so not just reverse buffy and faith but also 'buffy and faith but Worse'#(elmo reveling in the flames dot gif)
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I genuinely cannot comprehend guys who want a girl that’s barely legal because they are moldable and submissive like..
…those are on a list of the least attractive traits in a person to me.
Even scrubbing the ick off of it, like I’ve had guys say “but yeah ok you wouldn’t do it in person but say in your wildest fantasy if she was happy in that arrangement, you’d want it” and I’m like…no?!?
Even in the case of a completely consenting partner my own age asking me to treat her that way because she enjoyed it id have to say, I’m sorry I just don’t think I’m the right person for you and break it off.
#this isn’t like kink shaming like if a woman actually was into that I’m not JUDGING her for it#I’m just saying hey that’s a need you have that I can’t fulfill#because I would feel so revolted at myself bossing someone around that I’d always be miserable in the relationship#just incompatible#i literally can’t even approach understanding the thought process of these guys#because even in my WILDEST fantasies under ideal pristine morally absolved situations#I still hate the concept on a personal level#I would want to be a little afraid of my wife#be subtly aware that like yes this woman could end me#not in that abusive creepy way that one guy said a girl wants to feel like a man COULD kill her but chooses not to#but more in a level playing field sort of way#like no one has a massive physical mental financial leverage over the other#I’m not saying a woman HAS to be as physically strong as her husband for it to be equal#like dude maybe you can benchpress her and she can’t lift a 10lb dumbbell but buddy did you forget poison exists#and why would you want a life partner that’s not mentally challenging you and making you grow as a person#I need to be called out on my BS
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(shizuai week.... vexing me...)
#struggling to come up w concepts for like 3 of 7 days#but my other 4 are like sooooo strong#the problem is 2 of them are basically a free pass#and 1 is like#entirely incompatible in a sensible way with my setup...#uagh....
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