#including these tags since they’re the ones i noticed the issue from:

[stars-obsession-pit]

Is anyone else having weird issues with searching certain tags?

Like, this is the situation i’ve been encountering

Looking at latest posts from clicking on the “DPxDC” tag on my followed tag list only loads a couple posts at most before hitting an end as if I read all of them

Searching that tag in the search bar and sorting by latest will also lead to the same issue

Searching the “DP x DC” tag on the search bar and sorting by latest will also encounter a similar issue, though it’ll load a few more posts before stopping

Same with searching “DC x DP” (maybe the spaces are making them read as being the same to the system?)

But not “DCxDP” - that works just fine in the search bar

Back to the “DP x DC” tag again: despite not working through the search bar, it’ll work fine if accessed through my followed tags instead

And also sorting by “top” in any of those aforementioned cases also seems to fix the issue with the number of results??

Though I have encountered similar “surprisingly short search results” situations while sorting by top when looking at some other tags. I’m just not confident if those were actually the same issue since I was trying to search multiple tags

Also as a possibly separate thing I can’t find some tags I know I’ve used before when using the search function on this blog

All of this is occurring on the IOS app in what is (according to the app store) the latest version available to me (version 35.3). I don’t think the problem started until I downloaded that update, but I’m not certain.

[n0v4t33z]

What Would Have Been?

Pairings: Former Assassin Choi San X Assassin Female Reader

Genre: Angst, Assassin AU, One Shot

Word Count: 1.2k

Tags/Warnings: For Mature Audiences, Mentions Death

@newworldnet

Minors Do Not Interact

Author's Note 💌: Hope you guys enjoy this one shot! I couldn't get this scene out of my head so I had to write it! Also, yes some of the terms I used were John Wick references! I've been wanting to work on an assassin au for the longest so depending how things go I may or may not make it a short series idk yet not sure. This isn't edited so I'll fix it later. Again, please be kind! - N 🌙

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It had been years since I last saw San, which was also the last time I worked with him. Back then I had the biggest crush on him, so much so I'd make up any excuse just to talk to him which led to us becoming close. Out of fear for me accidentally ruining our friendship because of my feelings I gaslit myself into isolation, completely disappearing from everyone’s radar including his.

Now years later I'm standing outside of his small taekwondo school hoping he tells me where I can find the Grim Reaper. When I open the door I immediately notice small children no more than 8 years old practicing, they seemed so happy and excited to be there. I quietly look around and immediately see San, he hasn't changed at all. His taekwondo uniform makes his wide shoulders seem even bigger than they are and his black belt definitely made his waist look so small. He was always known to be well proportioned. His dimpled smile being as warm as the sun's embrace causing me to unconsciously swallow hesitantly, is he even going to remember me? Is he going to be upset when he sees me?

Just then while he was helping a student work on his posture I notice a little girl with short hair who runs over to San and let him know that someone has come into his establishment. He scans the room until our eyes meet, a look of visible shock paints his features. I give him a small smile whilst walking in his direction, he leans over and tells his assistant something most likely to keep watch of the class. Once he's done with that he walks up to me, his face lights up the closer he gets “y/n…What brings you here?”

I give him a pained smile “I need to talk to you. It's about the high table.” San’s expression grows dark and leads me to a small office behind the big mirrors the class uses to practice. There was trophies, some medals and a few pictures, it seemed like some of his past students and his family. He's married, with a child. A little girl. My heart sinks into my stomach causing me to let out a silent sigh lowering my gaze onto the floor. There goes My chance. He pulls a chair out for me then proceeds to sit on his side of the desk. “So..” San awkwardly breaks the silence making me glance up at him and meet his eyes, his expression still not fully comprehending it was indeed me in front of him.

“The high table summoned me. The thing is I’m not going to go through with it as they’re insisting I kill Rogue and I’m not going to do that, that man taught me so much as a rookie assassin. He’s like a father to me, the issue is I don’t know where he is. I need to warn him the High Table is going after him.” San clasps his hands together in front of his mouth, elbows resting on the desk whilst his eyes being the only thing visible from my angle. His golden wedding ring glinting in the fluorescent light. He goes on to stay silent for a moment until he finally says “You know i’m not associated with that stuff anymore...”

I understandably nod “I know, I see you’ve got a beautiful family now..” I glance back at the photo of San, his wife and daughter instantly rendering me silent from the huge knot in my throat. I could have had that chance had I not run away from my feelings. San looks back at the photo and looks back at me, his voice lowering “I don’t understand why you came here then.” I tightly hold onto my sleeve trying not to get emotional. I think he hates me now.

“I’m asking you to tell me where I can find the Grim Reaper, he knows where Rogue is…Please, I’m going to end this. I have to, the High Table has marked me an excommunicado. I’m basically marked for death. I’ve got nothing to lose now..” San swallows hard, his gaze turns into a sad one “y/n..” The knot in my throat gets tighter, making breathing extremely hard. So I look at the wall behind San unable to continue looking at him. “Do me that one favor before I die, please?"

We both sit in silence for a few moments until San finally speaks “South side of Seoul… the soup kitchen.” I slowly nod “Okay, thanks..” I get up and walk towards the door, before I’m even able to make it he grabs onto my arm “y/n, wait..” Hesitantly I turn in his direction, tears brimming in my eyes “Yeah?”  He lowers his face to meet my eyes “Why did you disappear? Where’d you go?”

I bite the inside of my lip to keep it from quivering and instead tears run down my cheeks “Because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I'd rather you think I was dead than to come into terms with my feelings.” He gives me a confused blink then the saddened expression grows on him “What do you mean come into terms with your feelings?”

I sniffle and shake my head “It’s not important anymore, you’ve got a happy family now. So pretend I never said anything.” San grabs both my shoulders and squeezes them “Please tell me.. You can’t just drop that on me and not tell me. It’s been years since I’ve seen you..” I squeeze my eyes shut not wanting to meet his eyes anymore, those beautiful brown eyes. At least I can say I saw them one last time before i'm gone. “I can’t, I’m so sorry..” He gently raises my face up to meet his “Please.. At least do me this favor before you go. I deserve to know why my friend disappeared.” I hesitantly open my eyes again only to see a worried expression and for a moment I can’t bring myself to say anything out of pure embarrassment because what’s the point? Nothing will change.

“I’m in love with you. I always have been, I always will be. I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough to face my feelings and tell you how I feel, instead I hurt you.” San stares at me for a bit, becoming increasingly embarrassed of the potential rejection I stutter ”I-I’ll get going, again I’m sorry.” I pull away from his grasp leaving a shocked San watching me until he finally says “You know, I liked you too..” I come to a halt facing away from San, my breath hitches and I cover my mouth to keep me from breaking down into full sobs. I did this to myself, my fear of rejection screwed me over. “y/n?”

He reaches over to rest his hand on my shoulder, his warm hand gently squeezing it trying to comfort me. “Were you afraid that I didn’t feel the same way?” I quietly nod my eyes blurring with tears again. He carefully approaches me and pulls me into a hug gently cradling the back my head. Hesitantly I hug him back, my tears spilling onto his white uniform. "I'm sorry I never gave you that reassurance, and that because of me you led a life of loneliness." I bury my face in his chest feeling his other hand gently pat my back.

I stay in his arms for a little bit until I finally pull away and respond “Thank you for everything, I’ll be going now.” San reaches for my hand and holds it tightly "You remember that blood oath we took years ago? Call me if you need me, i'll be there. I promise." The knot in my throat renders me silent again where as I only manage to hum in response. As I walk away a broken woman, I realize how my fears defined my life and took something from me that I yearned for. A loving husband and a small happy family. That fear instead turned me into an on the run excommunicated former assassin who was destined to be alone.

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Please reblog if you liked it! 🔁

If I catch anyone plagiarizing my work just be warned I don't play with that kind of stuff so don't try me.

[lokisasylum]

Lets talk about something controversial--

Lets talk about how BALLS-DEEP taekookers have embedded themselves inside the fandom to the point of Armys DEFENDING THEM over protecting the ones constantly being the target of this disgusting breed.

We (the OG fans who were there since the beginning and noticed the moment it started) warned ya'll about this; for MONTHS, for YEARS. But ya'll didn't listen. Just let it happen.

It started with Big “OT7″ accounts ignoring the issue and deeming it “just shipping wars”, “focus on BTS only”, to the fandom collectively turning a blind eye the bigger the hate got with every little "ignore and block", every "you need to curate your TL better so you don't constantly see that--"

We warned ya'll and you called us Crazy, you called us Delusional, you called us Entitled, you called us Problematic Old Hags. And now I fear we may never get rid of taekookers AT ALL.

EXHIBIT A:

Lets start with something that happened a few days ago. It started with a TKer using a set-up account to drag The Weekend for that weirdo netflix series. Which for some reason it called the attention of Abel (the lead vocal)'s attention to the point of quoting it, which in turn gave the tweet MORE attention/views.

As soon as the tweet started getting the desired amount of clout, the TKer changed the entire layout from taekook to Jimin to make it seem like "oh, pjms again starting shit because they're bored" (when in reality Jimin stans were hyper focused on streaming & buying 'Like Crazy' since the song was about to break the record for longest days charting and also the 119 #1s on iTunes), but what everyone ignored completely was the fact that despite switching the layout the person was actively dragging & defaming Jimin on that same acc & liking tweets from Jimin antis. But NOBODY CARED ABOUT THAT, because armys only saw "a jimin stan being problematic". And it took ONE Jennie solo stan calling out armys hypocrisy for the way they've always given trashcookers a free-pass in their fandom instead of defending Jimin, when both he and Jennie get the most hate from them on all platforms.

But AGAIN, what did the fandom do? Instead of actively reporting and trying to get the TKer suspended, they switched to attacking that Jennie solo stan AND slvtshaming Jennie as well. As for the person who started the whole thing? Deactivated and is probably STILL around with a different account spreading more hate and ways to get away with it.

EXHIBIT B: The #s war from yesterday.

Again, it was a TKer who started trending those disgusting tags over a harmless joke about spotify debut numbers. The hashtags were ALL initially AGAINST JIMIN ONLY, and each one more vile than the last and the bastards even celebrated that they got them to trend so quickly and were even putting money into keeping them up longer. 

(I spent an unhealthy amount of hours out of my life yesterday reporting & blocking people from BOTH ends, but it was just neverending! And for some reason twitter wasn’t showing all of the reports I made which frustrated me even more).

But armys only cared about the issue when Jimin stans actually started fighting back, using the SAME #s against TKers. NOT BECAUSE JIMIN HAD BEEN DEHUMANIZED/DEFAMED FIRST, BUT BECAUSE NOW IT INVOLVED 2 MORE MEMBERS (otherwise they would have ignored it). So instead of helping to clear the searches and reporting EVERYONE who was using the #s, they ONLY reported/suspended Jimin stans and instead trended “BTS IS 7″ initially, while the TKer who started this whole thing is STILL around, active on another acc after deactivating.

This gave TKers the upper-hand to once again SWITCH THE SITUATION IN THEIR FAVOR, by gaslighting armys/ot7s into thinking and trending: “solosOUT” “ALL SOLOS ARE ANTIS” “WE LOVE YOU TAEKOOK” “WE LOVE YOU [X, Y, Z member]”

(I even saw BTS members who weren’t involved in the issue being included in the tags as well to divert attention further from the fact that it was taekook shippers who started this shit).

And if you had looked closely at the first tweets using these tags, you would have noticed TONS of taekookers with the cult symbol on their username at the same time putting ALL of the blame on Jimin stans and accusing armys of ONLY caring about Jimin but never defending Taekook.

Which now has officially enabled the mentality inside the fandom that calling out Taekook Shippers = shading/hating Taehyung & Jungkook as individuals.

But its OKAY to call out Jikookers/Kookminers (cause they’re now “Tae antis” by association) & anyone who defends Jimin, because its OKAY for Jimin to get hate/shade as long as Taekook are protected.  LOL what a fucking joke of a fandom (Alexa, play “Face-Off” )

EXHIBIT C:  VMinKook at SG’s concert today

The 3 maknaes were literally standing/sitting together, playing. vibing to the concert (there’s literal clips of them talking, interacting and playing with the army bombs). But what topics made noise first?

“Taekook together at the concert” “Taekook concert date” “Taekook ignored Jimin, as they should” “Jimin left first/alone in his own car because he’s bitter.”

I even saw one where tkers were UPSET because “Jimin didnt pay attention” whenever tk interacted. Like sis makeup your mind, are you happy he’s no longer interacting like before or are you desperate for his validation that will never come???

Jimin is unbothered, happy and busy and probably had some schedule to attend after the concert, but these deranged mfers will always see what they want and armys will always give them a free-pass instead of addressing the pink elephants on parade in the room.

And if this is the fandom we have to go back to when and IF BTS ever return as 7 after enlistment (given that they don’t actually disband after that not so subtle hint suga made at the end of the concert)? Then I’m about ready to drop BTS as a whole the moment Jimin goes in for his service. ‘Cause this ain’t it.

[dragons-clause]

The Dragon's Clause

Sabo x Fem Reader CW: Forced marriage, intrigue, character death, fantasy violence, blood, magic, language, smut, 18+ mdni

Tag List: @mfreedomstuff @manachiichan @sleepykittycx

Chapter 14: Unanimous

Sabo stood outside your door for a long moment.

“I cannot imagine tiring of hearing you speak.”

He was still trying to process what you had said, and his entire being had stuttered. No one had ever flirted with him before. Teased him, certainly, even with the most loving of intentions, but everyone in a position to become Grand Duchess, every noble lady he’d the misfortune to meet, could barely stand to look at him.

He’d noticed some time ago that you had no such issue, but he was, admittedly, scared to give it much thought.

Having chalked it up to your unique upbringing, and spending years at the northern border of your own kingdom, he pushed it out of his mind for the most part. You were a warrior before you were a noble, in tact and fashion both, though you played well the part of nobility it wasn’t what you were. No more than it was something he was, despite his role.

The sight of your eyes, shy and honest, were burned into his mind. He wanted to say something. To knock on your door, or call out to you, to prolong the evening. To spend more time with you even if it was going to be painfully awkward.

He’d been fond of you since the two of you sparred, but he’d tucked anything more than polite appreciation away. Nobles rarely loved as most would know it. There was a transactional necessity involved with marriage, and he’d been raised to view it as more of a pragmatic partnership. The running of a noble household was akin to a business in and of itself, after all.

Having a reliable partner could make or break an entire family’s legacy.

Kingdoms had risen and fallen over couples whose love may never have been even the least bit romantic, but whose chemistry was either disastrous or impeccable. Love happened. There was nothing wrong with it, and there was nothing wrong to exist together without it, but it wasn’t something one expected.

Certainly not as the Grand Duke.

His position was so demanding for the sake of the kingdom and the border. It was almost impossible to think that he’d be able to marry who he wanted. Such that he’d never turned down any of the noble ladies that his father had sent to his door. It wasn’t his place to make such a choice.

Shaking himself out of his stupor, he steps away from your door, letting his boots click against the floor. There’d been no sound from you, and maybe his proximity was a little too much at the moment. He needed to go clear his head before he let himself do anything else.

Including thinking more on why you didn’t look away.

“Your grace I-.”

“Hells!” Sabo nearly shrieks, Koala’s voice and presence startling him. He hadn’t realized how much you had discombobulated him. Closing his eyes he wills himself to calm down before letting out a breath and looking over at Koala.

The look on her face makes him groan despite his efforts.

Koala looks, and feels, like that cat that caught the canary, and she’s not even trying to hide it. Her cat-like gaze shifts from him to down the hall and the glee in her features expands.

“Ooooh?” She inquires musically.

“What were you saying before?” He prompts, and feels himself relax as she lets him change the subject.

“We’ve been receiving plenty of positive responses for the engagement party, your grace.” She explains, handing over the list. “The expected turn out from other countries isn’t a surprise, but it seems, with rare exception, most of Goa’s nobility will be in attendance.”

“Despite my parents decline?”

Koala nods. “I can’t say if they’re coming with ill-intentions, or if they’re simply curious about the Lady Lulusia, but there’s only a few who declined, and those houses can barely afford the teleportation costs, so it wasn’t surprising.”

“Hm. Offer to cover the fees for them and see if they’re inclined to attend.”

Koala’s eyes go wide for a second. “As you wish, your grace. Perhaps the Lady has inspired this unique kind of generosity?”

“Hardly.” He insists, eyes still scanning the list. “But utilizing a perceived change in The Grand Duke at this point would be useful. We’ll show as many of the kingdom’s nobles as possible that the,” he grimaces a little as he continues. “Wisdom of the King is nearly miraculous.”

“You’re standing against Sterry then?”

Sabo shakes his head. “I wasn’t standing with him in the first place, but I want him to know what kind of leverage he’s dealing with. Our parents have him convinced I’m a tool to be directed at their whims, because I’ve let them think that. Before he does anything ill-considered, I want to be a reason he stops and thinks.”

Sabo taps the list. “Reach out to the Desert King too. Within reason I want him to attend.”

“… Not the Red Demon?”

He shakes his head. “Luffy and Ace have strong ties with him. And those two aren’t at odds with one another, so I’m not shunning one by currying favor with the other. I just want that merchant to consider my coffers a safer bet than the King’s.”

“Alright, I’ll reach out and make sure he’s aware, and reasonably enticed.” She agrees, keeping her eyes on his face.

There’s a long silence, and Sabo realizes she hasn’t so much as blinked. It’s unsettling, but he can’t leave it as is. Retreat, at this point, would only send Koala to your room. Not that you couldn’t defend yourself, but in this situation, well. Better him than you.

“… Koala?”

“Yes, your grace?”

“Is there, perhaps, something on your mind that you’d like to ask me?” He questions, practically rolling his eyes before he returns her gaze.

“Whatever could you possibly - yes, there is.” She shifts gears before Sabo can dismiss her and continues with a grin. “I’ve never seen you so distracted, but since you had the goofiest grin on your face -.”

“Koala-.”

“I know it wasn’t a fight you two had. So tell me about it.”

Sabo smiles, his gaze turned away in memory, and Koala can feel her cheeks heating up. In all the years of knowing the young Duke, she’s never seen him smile like that. Sabo clears his throat, handing back the list and turning away, the corners of the smile still on his lips.

“She simply complimented my voice, Koala. Nothing more.”

Sabo continues down the hall, letting his mind wander once more. He’s careful to not get lost in his thoughts so completely again, checking in with Hack and Karasu before turning in for the night. Terrible memories of his past mingle like ghosts against his memories of you.

“Useless brat! Take the title of Grand Duke then, and begone to the northern border. We’ll see if your foolishness persists in the face of the beasts and bare rock there!”

There was far more than bare rock here. It was almost laughable how little his father knew of his own kingdom. The city of Aquilegia wasn’t as grand as the capital, and barely qualified as a city, but the fields were well-protected, and the hearty people of the territory knew what was needed to survive the harsher winters.

“I see. Shall I cease with training your guards then?”

The look you’d given him at the time had caught him off guard. How could look at him so easily? How were you so fearless in the face of the Scarred Beast of the North?

“He’s caught a fever from the burns? Bah, do as you will, if he doesn’t survive the night I won’t hold you responsible.”

Flames licked along Sabo’s fingers idly. The memory no longer brought him physical pain, but he still felt the need to remind himself that he controlled the fires now. No one would ever burn him that way ever again.

“You’re a little slower than I expected, my lord.”

He hadn’t had the chance to spar with you since then. There’d been too much to do, and he’d barely had time enough to help you with your training. Melding magic and sword. You were making progress. If he held back the next time you sparred, he might not recover.

“Perhaps having someone to spur you into action will help? Meet your brother, the crown prince of Goa. If you can surpass him on your own merits, I may reconsider.”

Whatever was going through Sterry’s head had long been a mystery. At one point the two of them were close. Almost truly brotherly. Was it time in the academy that had changed that? Sterry had helped tend to his burns when even his parents had forsaken him. The two had agreed to make Goa better, even if it meant taking drastic measures.

“… You are far more considerate than I’d been led to believe, it seems.”

Not for anyone else. His civility had danced on the edges of what was acceptable for at least six years. It hadn’t taken long for him to garner his current reputation, even if it only existed within the nobility. The people of the city loved him, and so did the estate staff. Even some of the commoners in the capital hailed him as a hero for his border work, for his strength.

But no other noble lady thought of him as considerate.

“It’s the beast of the north.”“Did you hear what he did to the Lady Talia?”“Who cares what he has to say.”“What a brute.”“I don’t understand why the King tolerates him.”“Have you seen those scars?”“If it wasn’t for his defense of the border…”

It was hard for the words to truly bother him, since it was by design that people thought of him thus. Some of it was because he wanted to quash rumors that he was vying for the throne. There was nothing worse to his plans than the notion that he’d be competing with Sterry for the crown.

“It’s comfortable here. I find I rather like it.”

He puts his face in his hands and takes a deep breath. The way you make him feel is dangerous. He’s torn between wanting to keep you at a distance so he can think clearly, and wanting to keep you close so he can think clearly. It’s almost maddening, except that your presence is so calming.

“Sabo, as both your mother, and the Queen, you disappoint me.”

The memory fades and he stands in his room for a moment. Already your voice and your words were far louder in his head than anything else. You hadn’t even said anything world-shattering, but the voices that seemed to want to drown him not even two months ago were so small now.

There was no consuming cacophony of overlapping voices, just the shifting and fading murmurs of people who no longer mattered. People who, by all rights, shouldn’t have mattered long before now.

“Your Grace.”“Yes Duke?”“- the KIND Grand Duke-.”

Sitting on the edge of his bed, Sabo sighs. The wistful sound is foreign to his own ears, but he’s lost in his thoughts enough to barely notice.

“I wonder… what would my name sound like?” A rough finger slips across his lower lip, and it snaps him out of his thoughts. The sensation had startled him, but he’d been the one to do it, hand moving apparently of its own volition.

Understanding dawns on him as he flops back onto the bed with an even heavier sigh.

“I want to kiss her.”

[lunarelly]

so i guess some people have a hard time noticing when art is stolen on tumblr so i’m going to put something together really quick that’ll probably flop but at least my followers will see it. before you reblog or like art, spend ten seconds doing any of the following

check the user’s icon (most artists have an icon that they personally made and it will often match their art style)

check the user’s bio — especially if any piece seems a bit over the top extravagant or if it’s a piece you recall seeing often on the internet, peep the page to be sure that it is the actual artist. they’ll usually say so in their description. if it doesn’t say something along the lines of them being an artist and especially if it seems like an aesthetic blog, most likely they’re stealing the art on their page.

art styles — make sure the art pieces they’ve posted seem generally consistent and look like they were drawn by the same person — most artists (not all) have a distinct style. also, most artists will post solely art and nothing else, reposters often post an assortment of memes. while you’re doing this, also look for signatures and watermarks to be sure they’re all from the same person.

look at the tags — artists usually include tags like “my art” but reposters will spam tags

if a piece is reposted, comment on it and message the reposter to politely request that they don’t repost art. you should do this on every platform, but it’d be great if we kept this behavior off of tumblr since it is one of the remaining platforms where art theft isn’t yet a major issue.

support artists by following them — when you follow artists, you get a feel for the art that they post, can get an idea of how artists tend to post their art, and also will recognize that artist’s work if it is reposted so you can give them a heads up.

some people might find this tedious but to be honest it takes me all of 30 seconds to do all of this. we need to have more appreciation and respect for artists, the least we can do is be mindful when we reblog or like art.

[homosexuhauls]

The key context of the word I coined in 2008 is that mansplaining is one part of a huge problem – of who gets listened to, and who gets believed

by Rebecca Solnit

Ihave a file on my desktop titled Mansplaining Olympic Tryouts, mostly screenshots of some of the most epic specimens I’ve come across on social media or that people have steered my way. They’re grimly hilarious: a man explaining vaginas to a noted female gynaecologist, a man telling Sinn Féin adviser Siobhán Fenton to read the Good Friday agreement (she replied with a picture of herself with the book she wrote on that agreement), and the famous incident with Dr Jessica McCarty, about which she tweeted: “At a Nasa Earth meeting 10 years ago, a white male postdoc interrupted me to tell me that I don’t understand human drivers of fire, that I def needed to read McCarty et al. I looked him in the eye, pulled my long hair back so he could read my name tag. ‘I’m McCarty et al.’”

The word mansplaining was coined by an anonymous person in response to my 2008 essay Men Explain Things to Me and has had a lively time of it ever since. It was a New York Times word of the year in 2010, and entered the Oxford English Dictionary in 2018; versions of it exist in many other languages from French to Icelandic, and the essay itself has appeared in many languages including Korean and Swedish. People often recount the opening incident in that almost 15-year-old essay, in which a man explained a book to me, too busy holding forth to notice that I was its author, as my friend was trying to tell him.

But pretty briskly the essay moved from the amusing to the terrifying: I then recounted an incident in which a middle-aged man explained to a very young me, chuckling, that when his neighbour ran out of the house naked in the middle of the night screaming that her husband was trying to kill her, he was confident that she was crazy and her husband was not murderous, simply because of his assumptions about gender.

Here’s what almost everyone seems to miss about mansplaining, including those doing the formal studies as well as the people telling the funny stories. It’s one corner of a colossal problem, in which biases, statuses and assumptions warp everyday life and allocate more credibility, audibility and consequence to some people than others. All this creates what I think of as inequality of voice. Whether you’re trying to convince doctors that your pain is real or neighbours that your husband is trying to kill you, it can be a life-or-death issue. It matters in offices, classrooms, conferences, boardrooms, in hospitals, on the street, in bedrooms and at dinner tables.

One high-profile recent incident of people who assumed they had the authority to control the narrative came with the police murder of Tyre Nichols, one of many incidents in recent years where video told a very different story to the one told by the police. Somehow they seem to assume that they have the impunity that comes with controlling the narrative, which in cases like this mean literally expecting to get away with murder. Inequality of voice is one of the most powerful elements of inequality of all kinds. Children and elderly people are routinely treated as incompetent witnesses to their own lives and needs. Poor people, immigrants and people with disabilities are likewise treated as subordinates and incompetents.

Non-white people are too often assumed to be less trustworthy, less qualified to speak and act in many kinds of situation, and – to state the obvious – too often regarded as criminal simply on the basis of colour.

There are a lot of stories about people of colour being assumed to have stolen the vehicles they drive or be the servants at posh gatherings; I’ve heard from some of the latter first-hand. There have been many studies about how often women and people of colour are ignored or disbelieved when they report pain, sickness and injury, and how that impacts health outcomes. Black women in the US have a disproportionate incidence of dangerous medical experiences related to pregnancy and birth because of unequal access to care – and to credibility. Even tennis star Serena Williams was at first dismissed when she reported a postpartum pulmonary embolism.

People have also tried to render the word gender-neutral, which would make it meaningless. We have lots of other words – arrogant wanker, patronising idiot, Dunning-Kruger prize winner, for example – for acts of misplaced condescension. But reducing the issue to incidents of being merely patronised in conversational exchanges misses what matters. A phrase I often use is “dosage is cumulative”. If you spend your life being assumed to be less competent, less qualified to speak and less worthy of being listened to, more likely to be mocked, ignored or insulted, it inhibits your willingness to speak up and participate. So it’s not just what happens in the moment that matters, but how it shapes how we perceive ourselves and others in the long run.

The credibility gap turns into a hugely harmful thing with sexual assault and gender violence, in which men have historically been believed over women. It often brings on victims’ despair about reporting such abuse, because if you will not be believed, and if you will be mocked, shamed, harassed or even criminalised for reporting abuse, why would you bother? Almost all sexual abuse involves a perpetrator with higher social status, and a big part of that status is the ability to control the story and suppress other versions. It’s what serial rapists like Harvey Weinstein and serial child molesters like gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar relied upon during decades-long criminal careers. Inequality of voice isn’t just what happens after such crimes; it’s too often what perpetrators count upon beforehand.

It’s great that the word mansplaining exists, along with spin-offs such as whitesplaining and westsplaining (the latter for North Americans and western Europeans explaining the invasion of Ukraine and eastern European politics with narratives centred on our political histories rather than theirs). But everything loses meaning when it loses context. Mansplaining’s meaning requires the broader context of intersecting inequalities and assumptions that play out in everyday life, with consequences that are occasionally amusing but too often nightmarish. My goal always was to advocate for a democracy of voice, for equality in who gets to speak, who’s heard, and who’s believed and respected when they speak, across all categories.

[mrbexwrites]

15 Questions

Character interview: Morgana Dodds

Tagged by @words-after-midnight on my non-writing blog @islanded-in-a-stream-of-stars . Keeping my responses here so as not to bore the folk who have no interest in my mad scribbles :D

Tagging: @jezifster @thecatsgrave @sarahlizziewrites and  anyone else who wants to be included :)

Morgana Dodds, from my current WIP, Memento Mori is here to answer your questions!

1. Are you named after anyone?

The Staff at the Investiture just gave us all code-names when they found us. I’m known to them as ‘the Medium’ because of my ability to see and speak to the dead. When me and my siblings were older, we gave ourselves proper names. I chose Morgana after Morgan le Fay, because I enjoyed reading Arthurian legends in between training sessions.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Honestly, I cry all the time. My sister Sarah and I had a fight, and I cried after that. She says that I need to have thicker skin :/

3. Do you have kids?

Not at the moment..but maybe one day, if I ever meet the right person.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Sometimes. I grew up with Avery, and they are Sarcasm Royalty, so there’s no way I was ever going to compete with them. But, if I’m having a bad, or the hanger gets too much, I can be as snarky as the next person.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

How alive they are. I’m better dealing with the dead, than I am the living. I don’t spend a lot of time with the living; they’re the ones who can hurt you. That said, being the only medium, it means that I can’t escape the ghosts- they will socialise with me, whether I want them to or not!

6. What's your eye color?

Uhm...well...you can have a look and see for yourself

[Author’s note- Honestly, I haven’t really figured that out yet. Memento Mori is written in first person, and Morgana doesn’t like how she looks/has self-esteem issues, so she never really looks in a mirror, or describes herself. That’s a free author-hack for anyone else who doesn’t know how to describe what their character looks like!!  😂 ]

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. I deal with scary stuff all the time as my role as the Medium. I’ll stick to fluff, kittens and happy endings just to keep me away from spiraling further into a depressive funk...

8. Any special talents?

Well... there’s the seeing and speaking to ghosts, that everyone knows about. I mean, it’s what I’m known for. My abilities have been growing, though, and I’ve been able to manifest spectral fire, or ectoplasm as the Investiture Staff call it.

I don’t know if I’ve plateaued, or if there’s maybe more in me. I guess time will tell! 

9. Where were you born?

Technically, we don’t know if me or the other Millennium Citizens were born. We appeared all around the world on New Years Eve on 1999. I was found in the Necropolis in Glasgow, Scotland. Four others were found in the UK, and they became my siblings, under the care of Dr Carnegie and the Investiture.

10. What are your hobbies?

Oh! Well, when I’m not working with ghosts, I like to make mix-tapes for Avery. I enjoy finding songs for them to play at their gigs, and we enjoy sharing new music with one another. Otherwise, you can find me knitting. I’ve recently started knitting a jumper for my niece’s birthday. I doodle occasionally but I’m not very good at drawing really. I like to read, when I find the time, although, I’ve not really been reading much since I left the Investiture.

11. Have you any pets?

Ha! I can hardly look after myself! I don’t think it would be fair for the pet to have me as it’s owner! That said, it’s be nice to have some company that isn’t dead. So, I’m not going to say never. I think a dog would be nice. What do you think?

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Uhm...so, we never really played sports at the Investiture. We did a lot of hand-to-hand combat, so I’ve studied several martial arts. Do those count? I can also use a gun, handle a knife, pick locks, some basic breaking and entering, and drive...well, I mean...I completed the training courses under the tutelage of the Investiture Staff, but I never got the highest marks. I was...passable?...at these activities.

13. How tall are you?

I’m about average height, although, I’d love to be taller. Pete and Avery are both super tall, and I’m at least taller than Frieda. Maybe if I was a couple of inches taller, I could look Sarah in the eye when we argue...

14. Favorite subject in school?

English. I liked being able to hide and read my books. My worst subject was Latin...but that was technically an extracurricular subject taught by the ghost of the Edwardian Headmaster who haunts the Investiture from the time when it was a school.

15. Dream job?

I think I’m doing okay as a private eye for the dead...but probably a job that involves less risk to myself would be nice. Maybe I could knit clothes and sell them online, or work on my sketching skills and become a portrait artist?

[glitxhwayventeen]

The Lucky One

Hendery

Characters: Hendery x female reader

Warnings: twisted sense of humor about disabilities, love triangle, depression mentions, disability struggles, mentions of partying, mentions of drinking/drugging, dark jokes, fight scene sort of, blood mentions, death mentions, broken bones, anxiety/panic attack scenes, family issues, i think that’s it but let me know if I missed anything!

Author’s Note: Sorry it’s soooooo late! But i made it long enough to sort of close out their story so I hope that made up for it! Let me know what you guys think!

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Watch It All Burn Masterlist

The Lucky One: Part 1

Mostly 🥀

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts Pink= Cantonese Blue=Native Language Green=English Red=Korean (Since all the characters would normally use Mandarin as their preferred language being from China and all, anything in plain bold will be considered normal Mandarin)

Tag list-

The conversation you had to have with Yangyang was definitely not one you were looking forward to.

It wasn’t that you were necessarily scared of how he’d react, you were sure even if he’d get mad at your decision to not reject Hendery that he’d still never willingly hurt you. You were still his mate after all and he’d love you no matter what.

You just weren’t looking forward to the hurt you’d undoubtedly put him through when you told him.

You couldn’t bear to see him upset and the thought of making him cry alone made you want to fling yourself into a burning fire. Though what else could you do?

Between the choices of hurting your one mate for a short time or rejecting the other and having him die, it should’ve been an obvious choice right? But if it was the correct choice, why did it feel so… wrong?

You were broken out of your thoughts by a quick yet soft knock at your door followed by your mate’s timid voice.

“___? Is-is it okay if i come in?” Yangyang all but winced from behind the barrier in a pitiful tone, making you want to jump from your bed, open the door, and throw yourself into his arms already to kiss all over his cute little face.

But you had to stop yourself. You had to hold your ground. Just because you missed him more than you had allowed yourself to fully feel up until that moment didn’t mean you could give into your stupid bleeding heart.

He could’ve killed someone with how angry he got the other day. And even though you completely understood why he’d be mad at both you and Kunhang, you couldn’t easily forgive him for putting the other’s in the pack, including your new sorta baby nephew, in danger so carelessly.

He needed to see the gravity of his actions one way or another. And unfortunately for the both of you, the only way for that to come to light would be through some tough love.

“Yes.” You replied back as monotonous as you could to show him you were less than pleased with him.

Yangyang had been allowed back in the house a few hours ago after Kun decided it was best for you two to speak. But that also meant your other mate had to make himself scarce for a little while so no more fights would ensue.

You heard the door slowly creak open. You turned your head up from your lying position just in time to see your pink headed mate shimmy his way through the opening before he closed it briskly.

Watching carefully as he cautiously came and sat at the foot of your bed, you noticed the slight yellowing along his jaw and the now browning markings under his right eye, two sure fire signs that his hyper wolf healing was working well. Yangyang may have taken Kunhang by surprise, but that didn’t mean the macanese boy ended laid there and took it.

Everyone in the pack always thought that the elder of the two was the fighter. And while you knew Hendery could definitely hold his own, you seemed to be the only one who understood that he didn’t actually like fighting. The long conversations you had had with him after the fact proved that to you that much more.

And even though he would gladly defend you to no end when it came to events involving you, Yangyang was the one most willing to enter into a scuffle to ‘protect’ you.

It was weird to see him so… anxious as even during your first meeting with him he was already initiating hand holding and sweet pecks on your cheeks.

You knew very well why Yangyang was worried, but that didn’t mean your heart didn’t throb as he began nervously playing with the sock on your good foot, refusing to look you in the eyes after everything that had happened.

At that moment, you wanted to scream at whoever thought it was a good idea to allow two werewolves to imprint on the same person and caused your body to be put through such a conflict.

On one hand, you wanted to maneuver your way over to him and place his sad head in your lap as you stroked his fluffy hair to clear his mind. You wanted to kiss his sweet face a million zillion times until you felt like you couldn’t breathe to show him how much you missed him.

But on the other you wanted to slap him for acting as though he had a right to be upset after he all but threw a very injured you to the floor to attack someone, the someone being his own packmate nonetheless.

“H-How are you?” He stuttered, still refusing to look up from your clothed toes.

You scoffed and folded your arms at his question instinctually. What kind of dumbass question was that?

“Is that supposed to be rhetorical or something?” You blandly questioned, sending a wave of horror down his spine.

He knew you’d be upset with him. And, while he knew you had every right to be after the way he behaved, that didn’t mean he still hadn’t hoped that you’d have missed him as much as he missed you the last few days enough to give him some sort of leeway.

Yangyang swallowed a thick lump in his throat before he answered you, “O-okay. I probably deserved that…” he admitted while scratching the back of his head, “I just- well, I wasn’t sure what else to say.”

“How about ‘I’m sorry for pushing you to the floor and bruising you up babe’ for starters?!” You hissed a bit meaner than you had originally meant to as you sassily rolled your eyes at him.

Okay, so maybe a part of you was actually a tiny bit upset he let his territorial instincts trump his protective instincts and hurt you, even if you had only just aggravated your old injuries from the fall. But in your defense, you could hardly pinpoint what you were feeling anymore.

Since Kunhang had come into the picture, you had a roller coaster of emotions jerking throughout your body every second of everyday. Your mind was constantly at war over what was best for your mates.

They were both just sooo unbelievably different. From what everyone, including the both of them, had said, they’d never been besties to begin with because their personalities would clash too much. They had practically been at each other’s throats since day one without their pull to you meddling in the way.

Now with you as an added irritant, how were you supposed to maintain peace and keep them from killing each other? How were you going to get through the rest of your life without aging terribly from the constant guilt and worry that would now be bagged upon you like you were some weak little kid at a summer camp?

Now everything was different. Before you could kiss Yangyang freely without a second thought. You never even cared if your brother was in the room because to you he had disowned you.

But now, you had to watch everything you said and did to be sure it wouldn’t add fuel to the already raging fire.

You had to think about whether or not even smiling at one would end up harming the other or whether saying the opposite’s name would anger the one you were around.

Would they ever get back to their weird brotherly love the pack had worked so hard over the years to build? Or had you completely destroyed them without ever having meant to?

Your head was constantly pounding and you felt like rhythmically crying all the time. And you just knew the feeling wasn’t something that would ever truly go away.

He sighed defeated, “I would never ever in a million years do anything to hurt you on purpose ___.”

“But you still did.” You rolled your eyes dramatically, shifting your foot away from his grasp defiantly.

It stung that you pulled away from his touch. But you being hurt over his previous actions stung more.

The pink haired boy bit his lower lip as he mustered up the courage to speak again, “I- I am sorry for that baby,” he tried with a small pout adorning his lips as he reached for your shaky hand and placed a small kiss to the back of your palm.

Though once he realized he wasn’t going to earn a response from you, he decided to speak more from the heart, “I didn’t mean to do that. You know letting any harm come to you is the last thing I’d ever want. But I- I realized what was happening as soon as I saw the look in his eyes and I- I just… saw red.”

“Yeah, saw red and put everyone in the house in danger Xiao Yang!” You quipped, the unexpected explosive reaction from you causing him to jolt back in shock.

But you were right nonetheless. He knew that. He just couldn’t help it in the heat of the moment.

“I-I know.”

When he saw the loving look in the elder boy’s eye looking in your direction, he wanted to rip him apart in a drunken raged fit.

But when he saw you staring back at the older boy with the same doe eyed sparkling expression, it felt like Yangyang’s heart had torn itself in two.

“Honestly Yangyang, what were you thinking?!” You nearly shouted to him in close range as you fully sat yourself up, albeit with his help.

It looked as if Hendery had stopped all matter of time around you. Like you had been lost before you laid your eyes on him. Like you wanted to jump into his arms and never let him go. Like you were his.

“I-I don’t know.” He meekly answered you, too ashamed to say anything else as you leaned against his body for support.

He freaked out because he was the one that was supposed to help you find your place. He was the one that was supposed to stop the universe from revolving around you.

You were supposed to want to jump into his hold and never want to leave. He was the only one you were supposed to look at like that. You were supposed to be his. But now, now he wasn’t sure anymore.

“You could’ve hurt someone! There’s a baby around now! Were you even thinking about that during your little attempted homicide?” You lectured him, resting your head on his burdened shoulders.

You knew why he was upset. You understood his frustration with the whole situation. And you knew you really needed to be angry with him to prove your point.

But god, did you enjoy being able to physically touch the love of your life again. You missed him so much in the few days he had been forced to stay away from you.

Sure you had Kunhang and he helped to fill your heartache, but Yangyang being away felt like your chest had been hollowed out and filled with cement. It just wasn’t the same as having him there with you too.

The irony was now that he was gone, you were feeling the same way about your other mate being absent.

He laid his head atop of yours and intertwined your hands, “I wasn’t thinking about anyone else. I’m sorry I put everyone in danger and lost control.”

Having him close to you again made you feel secure and safe. Though you knew he had worried everyone tremendously by acting out, you had never actually been scared he would hurt you. Because although he did all but push you to the ground to lunge viciously at Hendery, some part of you knew he only did it to protect you from being in the line of fire.

Besides, how could you ever be terrified of someone that had done nothing but protect and care for you since you had arrived in Korea?

Your emotions were swimming through you like a curdling soup that had gone bad. The water that had started brimming at your waterlines was only natural.

You were mad at him for being careless and at the universe for once again making your life more complicated. You were sad you had been away from Yangyang for so long and that you now had to be away from Kunhang to keep the peace.

Part of You was actually happy about having two new loving mates while the other part was absolutely dreading the uncertain future you may or may not have with them.

Crying in front of the Taiwanese wolf was never something you wanted to happen. It was an unsettling feeling for you. You knew it was traumatic for him after having had to deal with listening to it for so long when you were so close to death.

You’d usually find time to let your emotions out when you were left alone or when you had some sort of sound surrounding you enough to hide any noises you made. You didn’t want to force the scarring experience on him again if you didn’t have to.

So you did your best to stifle the sobs that wanted so badly to push their way out of your chest to not make him uncomfortable.

And after what felt like an eternity of tearful silence, you finally managed to say what you’d wanted to shout at him when he had charged so diligently at Guanheng, “We didn’t do this on purpose Xiao Yang.” You spoke softly, tightening your grip on his much stronger hand to show some sort of remorse for the actions you both knew you couldn’t help.

He nodded his head solemnly at your words, “I know you didn’t my love.” He whispered, quickly moving to kiss the top of your newly styled hair in understanding.

After a moment of hesitation, you asked him a question you weren’t really sure you were prepared enough for him to answer. But you knew you needed to ask it all the same, “Do you hate me?” You whimpered, biting your lip to stop a hiccup of sadness from escaping your mouth.

He shook his head almost as soon as the question was released into the air, “You know I could never hate you my ___. I love you.”

You pulled your head from its place on Yangyang’s shoulder and stared at him with bloodshot eyes, “You might hate me when I tell you this next part…” you mumbled just under your breath as you flicked your vision down and away from his beautiful face.

That’s when his whole world turned upside down. That’s when the earth felt like it had frozen over and switched into an icy abyss. That’s when his breathing almost stopped mid intake.

That’s when he knew: you had actually accepted Hendery as your mate.

——

The next meeting the boys had together was… remarkably similar to the first to say the least.

Guanghang and you had sat down on the living room couch watching as Dejun sat on the floor playing some new video game your mate had bought him to try and cheer him up and get his mind off his own traumatic love life.

You were sat with your legs drooped over his as he played with the curls laying on your back while you tried to figure out the gist of the game going on in front of you.

“So wait, why are you trying to save the princess from that angry looking goblin thing again?” You asked as your head innocently tilted to the side.

The third wheeling cantonese boy let out a groan of despair for the umpteenth time that hour as Hendery attempted to explain the premise of the game to you once more, “Because she needs rescued otherwise the troll king will kill her and feed her to all his subjects in the dark kingdom.”

Though your mate sounded perfectly rational in his tone while expressing the nature of the game, you still couldn’t wrap your mind around why it needed to happen.

“But why does whoever is playing the game have to be the one to rescue her?”

“Because she’s a princess and princesses are always helpless in these sorts of games.” He answered you as if he cracked some sort of code to video game logic.

But to you it was as if he was speaking a different language, “But that’s so stupid!” You interrupted loudly, causing Dejun to lose focus on his task and let his character die with a sharp exhale, “If she was a real princess she’d get off her own ass and realize men don’t just magically appear and swoop in to save the day!”

Your response had Kunhang chuckling, but only seemed to make Dejun roll his eyes at you in annoyance, “Yes because you’re soooooo capable of protecting yourself all by yourself with only one functioning arm and one functioning leg right?” He quizzed rhetorically with a snort.

But before you could react with some witty comeback towards the bitter boy’s accusation, your mate hit him upside the head with his slippered foot.

“Aiya! Shut up dickhead!”

“Did I say something to offend you or that wasn’t true though?” Dejun snipped back at the younger boy as he rubbed his head with a mischievous pout.

You understood that he meant it in good fun, and you weren’t one to easily get offended because making fun of yourself was something you did to ease your own pain about the situation, but that didn’t mean the boy whose lap you sat on thought it was amusing.

Hendery scoffed, “Gee I don't know. Tell me would you feel offended if I made fun of your mate being permanently disabled against her will?”

At first, you thought he was being playful with the oldest in the room, but once you saw his eyes start to morph to slivers of crimson and you felt a small vibration emitting from his chest, you knew he was taking it more to heart than he probably should’ve.

Which meant you needed to put a stop to his overprotectiveness before you found yourself once again between two wolves fighting to the death.

“Alright alright, relax. It’s sweet you care and all, but he’s sort of got a point,” You shrugged, placing your good hand against his heart to still him, “Without other people’s help, I can barely make it up off this couch without hurting myself more.” You cocked your brow at him.

Once he took a deep breath and mumbled some sorry excuse for an apology to the other Cantonese boy, you knew he was trying his best to heed your silent pleas. But you also knew stopping his instincts wasn’t nearly as easy for him as it was for you. So you did what you always did, you opted to break the tension with a joke.

“Besides, I don’t know what it was you planned to do to him, but there’s really no point in beating an already dying horse,” You chuckled, causing Guanhang to snort a squeaky laugh into your hair with a chaste kiss as Dejun turned around and stuck his tongue out at you and wiggled his hands next to his face.

You immediately returned his simple action, albeit with only one of your hands and gave him a shit eating grin back.

But just as you thought things were going back and you were having a rather pleasant afternoon, the good lord found it fit to punish you with the only thing that, while in other circumstances would make your heart jump with glee, made pure terror erupt within your stomach.

Yangyang.

You had been so busy trying to focus on the smaller problem of your older mate’s aggravation at hand, you neglected to listen to the sounds continuing throughout the rest of the house. Meaning you hadn’t heard the opening of the front door. If you had, things would’ve maybe turned out different.

You could’ve pushed yourself off Kunhang's lap. You could’ve spoken out against Yangyang’s visible rage at the small amount of intimate contact you and your other mate were having. You could’ve done something, anything, to stop the shit that was about to be thrown full force at the metaphoric fan. But you didn’t.

Because you weren’t expecting your first mate to come home so suddenly, he had agreed to Kun’s truce of letting both the boys spend every other day with you until they could stand to be within the same mile as the other. As it was your newer mate’s day, you didn’t think you had to worry.

But the second you felt the familiar butterflies fluttering about your abdomen signaling Yangyang was nearby, the second alarm bells started blaring throughout your head.

As you dropped your originally smirking face and turned to face the direction in which you knew the fuzzy feeling in your gut had come from, the hair on the back of Hendery’s neck shot up and he visibly went rigid. Just because he hadn’t taken a look over your shoulder didn’t mean he didn’t know what was going on.

When you looked to your original mate, you just knew it wasn’t going to end well.

His eyes were already blood red, his fangs had elongated, and he had a deep menacing growl radiating out of his chest.

“Get away from her. Now.” He seethed, allowing his nails to transform into sharp claws while he began walking over to the two of you.

Before you knew what was fully happening you were thrown down to Dejun, who quickly caught you, stood up from his place on the living room floor, and brought you behind himself so he could protect you. And when Yangyang saw that you were free from the confines of Hendery’s lap, he lunged forward.

You heard loud snarling and snapping sounds as the oldest of the Cantonese boys held you to his back for dear life, clearly worried for your safety. Because at the end of the day while the two of you constantly teased and poked fun at each other, you were still his sister and a mate in their small pack.

He couldn’t let anything happen to you if he could help it, even if that meant protecting you from your own rage filled mates when needed.

Once you heard cloth tearing sounds, you could only assume at least one of the two fighting had shifted. And then all you saw was a giant fur ball rolling from wall to wall like you were in some sort of giant pinball machine as Dejun tried to keep you out of the line of fire.

Which, of course, didn’t work for too long.

Try as he might, it was a fruitless battle. Their house, while big, wasn't nearly big enough to keep the two boys in their massive wolf forms from bumping into you both while they fought. Except bumping into you meant nearly crushing you under their full body weight as they were much much larger than your average sized house pet.

Dejun was quick to shift himself and to throw the younger boys away from you. He even let out his own menacing warning growl to signal for them to stop for your sake, but the damage was done.

Because you were behind him when the wolves collapsed on you and because of the way you landed, you took the very forceful complete weight of not only Dejun himself, but the two wolves as well. So this time when a snapping sound was distinguished between the grunting and huffing of the furious animals, it was also heard with a loud scream.

When you had fallen backwards to the hardwood floor, you had your bad leg bent in as it was no longer very structurally sound. The second the two wolves met Dejun’s front, your leg had taken an immense pressure that it wasn’t used to in such a weak state and the bone snapped.

Your cry seemed to alert all three boys as well as the second oldest, who had been fast asleep upstairs in his bedroom after a long day at school, that something was wrong. As every nerve in your body began to fire pain signals across your small frame causing your eyes to prick with tears, Ten as the most responsible one in the house raced down the stairs at light speed to see what the commotion was once he heard the sounds coming from the living area.

Your brother was met with two very worried looking wolves, an angry wolf, and a very injured you surrounded by a small pool of blood as you whimpered and whined from the floor. As much as he wanted to rip the heads off the boys who he figured were the cause of the harm done to you, he did nothing but rush to your side and place his shakey hands around your cheeks.

“What did you do?!” He roared with tears in his eyes as he looked up at the three boys, one shifting back into his human form in annoyance to mask his worry while the other two let out high pitched whines and stayed wolves.

Seeing as the two who really caused your injuries were too ashamed to shift back and admit what had happened, Dejun figured it was best he explain things before the eldest decided to rip everyone’s heads off.

Because even he felt horrible for what happened to you. You were his little sister and he couldn’t protect you from getting hurt. In Dejun’s mind, it was just as much his fault as it was the youngest two's faults. In his mind, he was just as responsible.

“We were sitting playing video games and ___ was on Guanhang’s lap. T-Then Yangyang came in and they both got heated and…” The Cantonese boy winced as he watched your brother cradle your battered body to his chest with water streaming down his cheeks, “___… she-she ended up getting caught in the crossfire.”

Like a strike of lightning, Ten’s eyes shot up immediately to shoot a death stare at your two quivering mates as Dejun knelt to your level and began to hold pressure on your newly lacerated leg, “You mean to tell me that my baby sister is bleeding on the floor because you fuckers couldn’t keep your fucking jealousy in check?!”

Ten fumed as he laid you flat on the ground and brought himself to his feet, quickly marching over to the terrified boys while Dejun hurried across the room to his cell phone to call Sicheng back home. And all you could do was lay there and cry in the form of small gasps. You figured you must’ve broken a few ribs too. Lovely.

The eldest of the three stooges rushed back to your side just as the Thai boy reached your mates and you started to hear full blooded screams in a language you couldn’t understand coming from his high pitched voice.

“How could you fuckers be so careless!” Chittaphon yelled at the two at the top of his lungs.

You wanted to help save your mates the fate of potentially getting beat to hell by your infuriated brother.

“Hyung s-she’s losing a lot of blood!” You vaguely made out Dejun’s frantic voice wail in Mandarin.

You really did want to help them both. To help them all get along really. That’s all you ever wanted.

“You assholes couldn’t keep your shit in check long enough to realize the gravity of your actions?!? You two complete fucking idiots couldn’t think with your heads instead of your dicks for even five seconds to notice she could be in danger???!?” Your brother’s voice cried out as he switched back to Mandarin and tears began pouring down his cheeks in rage once more.

“Ten-ge please stop! Something’s wron-” Dejun tried to plead.

But as the seconds passed your vision began to get more hazey.

“You motherfuckers could’ve killed her! She could’ve died! All because you both got too wrapped up in your petty shit!”

“I need your-” The only solid voice of reason once again attempted to refocus on the problem at hand.

Next thing you knew, everything started to go black.

“You two don’t like the situation?? Well guess the fuck what! You’re not the only ones!”

“Guys please she really has to get” Dejun’s voice was all but irrelevant to them.

Not that it mattered much to you. The pain had bled away and was now replaced with a hollow freeing feeling you couldn’t quite place.

“You think I like the idea that my sister’s stuck with your two absolute MORONS?!? You unbelievable GENIUSES! Is that your actually belief?!?”

“___’s losing a lot of-” Dejun did all he could to rally their attention to no avail.

You thought it would hurt more. From everything you’d heard. You thought you’d at least get more of a warning from your body. But you didn’t.

“You two don’t deserve my sister! And you never will!” Ten laughed.

“___?”

There was no warning. There was no feeling cold. There was no pain or suffering. It was much more sudden than you realized.

“She’s too good for the both of you! She’s too good for this fucking shitty world!”

“_-___…?”

In fact, it was quicker than falling asleep.

“She should’ve fucking denied you! BOTH of you! But she was too kind and caring to do it! And now look where we are!”

“___? Can you hear me?”

Dejun’s voice seemed like a distant memory now. Everything did.

“She’s my little sister! My BABY sister! And she’s bleeding on the floor because of two people who supposedly love her! She deserves so much more than THIS!”

“___!”

Because the deeper you fell asleep, the quieter and quieter their voices got no matter how loud you knew they had to have been.

“I stayed away from her to protect her! And now look at what you’ve done!”

“Guys! I- I can’t feel a pulse!”

Almost as if someone poured a gallon of ice water on them, the boys all seemed to snap back to reality. One where their words, whines, excuses, and guilt all faded away and all that was left was a lifeless version of you on the floor.

And eventually, you stopped hearing anything at all.

——

They tried to stay in your room with you. They wanted to be there when you woke up. If you woke up that was. But everyone in the pack was beyond pissed at them, your brother especially. Not that Hendery thought they were in the wrong for it at all.

In fact, it seemed the one thing both him and Yangyang could agree on was that they had fucked up and put you in danger once more.

So when they found themselves stuck at Seungcheol’s place for at least the night, they weren’t too shocked and they didn’t put up much of a fight about it. They both knew they were being punished for putting their jealousy ahead of your safety. And boy, did Seungcheol’s pack refuse to let them forget it.

“We know you guys didn’t mean to do it and we’re not members of your pack or anything,” Omi expressed, “But you guys really need to be more careful for her sake.”

Jeonghan spoke up with Jee solemnly placing her head against his shoulder as she sat on his lap, “Yeah. You all keep saying she’s got traits of being a wolf. But I feel like you guys keep forgetting that she’s not, in fact, a werewolf.”

“I’m not your alpha so it’s not my place to judge either of you,” Seungcheol continued his younger brother’s thought while also attempting to retain his boundaries with the foreign pack, “But you guys could have definitely handled that situation better.”

“Oh would you guys come on now and cut the shit!” Hendery watched as Jihoon sneered at his own pack.

Seungcheol let a tiny growl emit from his chest in warning, probably once again trying to keep his pack from acting outside of their realm with the two of them.

“What Cheol? You all can sit here and try to coddle them all you want. But I’m not doing that,” Jihoon rolled his eyes and turned his attention to speak directly at the two of them, “You guys fucked up. Plain and simple.” Jihoon crossed his arms and sat back smuggly on one of the pack’s arm chairs, “From what I hear, she’s even smaller than I am. You’re lucky you two didn’t crush and kill ___ immediately.”

Guanhang felt utterly helpless. He knew he’d know it in his heart if you ended up taking a turn for the worst. But that didn’t mean he liked the idea of being away from you while you were injured. Especially when he was the partial cause of said injury.

And as Kunhang heard the Taiwanese boy let out a small whimper from the mention of your name beside him and was reminded of the memories from earlier in the day, he knew he wasn’t alone in his feelings.

“Yeah she’s small alright. Like a tiny pixie.” Minghao added, seemingly trying to cut both The Macanese boy and his packmate a break. Not that either of them deserved in their eyes.

Junhui snorted, “Tiny pixie? Try an angry little elf. That girl may be unable to walk, but she scares the ever loving shit out of me. No offense guys.” He held his hands up in defense, expressing his intent to not cause any harm between himself and the two boys.

Hendery couldn’t help the slight smile that appeared on his lips at the older boy’s comment. Jun was one of the few in Seungcheol’s pack that had actually met you, and he hadn’t known you too long or met you more than a handful of times, but he already knew that you were a force to be reckoned with.

You may have been small but you let everyone know just how willing you were to kick their asses if they pissed you off, whether you were down an arm and a leg or not. He loved your fighter spirit.

Now all he could do was sit in the living room surrounded by the older alpha’s pack and pray he and your other mate hadn’t crushed that spirit.

“I don’t even have a mate. And I’m the first to admit I’m probably the most clumsy one here,” Mingyu butted in, “But even I know they’re supposed to come first and you’re not supposed to squish them.”

Before Guanheng could open his mouth to say something, Yangyang threw his face into his hands and started sobbing harshly, causing the older group around them to cease their insufferable scolding and take pause at the scene in front of them. It even snapped Hendery out of his own thought process.

He had never heard the youngest of his pack cry before. He was told he had when you were on the brink of death when you first came to Korea. But he figured that was just an exaggeration that naturally comes from hearing things from word of mouth.

Your other mate never thought your first mate felt any emotion other than happiness really. So seeing him so easily break down in front of a pack that wasn’t even his own put things into perspective.

Hendery knew the pup was protective of you, even more so than himself if that was possible. He never thought that he might take it harder than himself.

Everybody had frozen in place and held that position while listening to the maknae of the group cry quietly over you for what seemed like forever.

It wasn’t until Hendery broke out of his shocked trance and looked up at the other pack’s alpha, silently begging for everyone to give them the room so he could do the older brother thing that everybody understood he needed to do.

So everyone said their quick goodbyes and made their way up the house's stairs to go to bed. Once Kunhang heard the last of the doors close and the farthest trailing footsteps recede, he cautiously laid his palm on his younger brother’s back in solace.

The action only made the pup cry into his hands louder, this time making him jolt in hard shakes every time he took a breath in.

But Guanheng didn’t need him to say anything out loud. He already knew. They used to be brother’s in each other’s eyes before you came around after all. They used to speak to each other daily before they started hating each other’s guts, even if they weren’t best friends.

He knew he was already devastated that you had gotten hurt. Dejun had told him how glued to you during the whole ordeal of your arrival he was. And also told him how much of a toll not knowing if you’d live or die took on him.

He knew you getting hurt again, this time even by his own hand, would open up old trauma for him. So he just knew Mingyu’s comment crushed Yangyang the way they had crushed you.

But at the end of the day, there was nothing Hendery could say to make it better.

Because the truth was, even though both knew very well they deserved every bit of what everyone was saying, no one in the large pack could possibly make them feel any worse about the situation than the pull to your weakened body could.

——

“How is she?” You heard someone ask from behind your bedroom door in your groggy state.

“She’s lost a lot of blood. If I had been here even a few minutes later, I don't know if she would’ve made it.” A voice you soon remembered as Sicheng’s respond from the other side of the door.

“So she’s alive?” A high pitched voice you recognized as your brother quizzed.

“Yeah. I think she’ll be okay. She’s got a few broken ribs, a rebroken leg, and probably a pretty gnarly skull fracture/concussion, but she’ll live. She just needs lots of rest. And food. She needs calories to help her red blood cell production and jump start her accelerated healing.” Sicheng answered once again.

“So I can see her?”

“I… don’t know about that. You guys always fight and she’s in a real fragile state right now. It’s probably best if you let her sleep.” The in house doctor tried to finalize. But your brother was having none of it.

“I can’t have her wake up all alone. She hates being alone. I’m going to sit with her.”

“But-” The younger wolf tried to interject but was again brushed off.

“Look. I know I’m a crappy brother. And I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes when it comes to her. But I nearly lost her. She nearly bled to death right in front of me because I couldn't protect her properly. Before I could pin it on the others back in her home country not watching out for her. But this is on me. I need to own up to that. You have to give me this Sicheng. Please.”

After a moment of hesitation, you finally heard a sigh of agreement from your caretaker, “Alright just… just make sure she eats. And if I hear you two start fighting I’m pulling you back out of there. Got it?”

Your brother chuckled, “You're giving me orders now? I thought that was Kun-ge’s job.”

“Yeah well, it’s my job to keep all you bastards from croaking. So if you mess my patient up, I mess you up.”

“She’s my baby sister,” He named you affectionately as you semi-tried to grip the item in your good hand out of shock, “I’d never do anything to hurt her,” Ten assured the boy, “I love her.” You heard your brother say the three words you hadn’t heard come from his mouth since your mother was alive.

And if you hadn’t been so out of it and so exhausted from the breaking and rebreaking of your bones to stabilize you, you probably would’ve cried. But all you could do was listen to the door of your bedroom open and let the all too familiar scent of your brother’s signature art teacher classroom smell hit your nostrils before you drifted back off to dreamland.

——

You woke to the sound of a pencil scribbling down on a piece of notebook paper. The intense smell of drawing lead and paper could only mean one thing: Your brother was near.

Flickering your eyes open to instantly receive a splitting headache, you soon realized your hypothesis was correct when you jetted your vision to the side and saw that it was not either of your mates doodling their day away but a messy haired Chittaphon.

“Ch-Chitta?” You hoarsely whispered, causing your brother to immediately halt his actions and turn his attention towards you.

To your surprise, rather than him awkwardly getting up and leaving the room the second he noticed you had been in a conscious state like he had done when you first came to Korea, he dropped his art supplies to the floor and grabbed your bad arm softly with a happy smile on his face, “You’re awake! Good. I was starting to think you were never going to!”

While your chest leapt with glee that he was willing to be in the same room as you, your brain was a lot faster at thinking than your heart was, “W-What are you going here?”

“Me?” He let out a small chuckle in an attempt to desperately hide the hurt he felt at your question, an attempt that didn’t work, and continued, “I had to make sure you were okay. Someone had to stay with you after all.”

He figured you’d be a little more than hesitant when you first saw him sitting and waiting for you to awaken, but he hadn’t expected you to question him directly to his face about it.

“Yangyang or Kunhang didn’t want to?”

You watched as your brother visibly tensed at the mention of both your mates’s names, “They… had to stay somewhere else to cool down for a while. So it looks like you’re stuck with me kid,” He answered with a sad smile eventually placing itself on his face.

It took a lot for him to keep his eyes from flashing to their emotional blood red upon hearing the two’s names, but he knew that would just make the situation with you only that much more awkward.

“I’m sure if you ask the others they can take turns keeping me company if I need it.”

While speaking them into the air in the moment you didn’t see how your words could be taken the wrong way.

But you quickly understood that they could in fact have been taken offensively when the pathetic smile on your brother’s face dropped and was replaced with a deep frown.

“You- You would rather one of them be here instead of me? Even though they’re the reason you’re here again in the first place…?” Ten stuttered with his head down, doing his best to blink away the glossiness that had formed over his eyes.

“I… didn’t think that you’d… you’d want to be here.” You slowly and carefully stated, careful not to misplace your words again.

Your brother’s head tilted back up immediately, “Why wouldn’t I want to be here?”

What was it with men asking you these stupid questions? He was kidding, right?

“You haven’t spoken more than three words to me since I got here…” You could feel yourself shrink down as you spoke.

He studied your face for a moment, almost as if he was trying to get a read on if you were hiding any resentment or not. The anxiety of being under his raven-like eyes for a visual dissection made you grip your good hand and the contents in it tighter, something he easily took note of.

Instead of speaking or commenting on your factual statement, he stood up from his seat and reached over you, grabbing what you had been holding on to for dear life only seconds ago, and examined it curiously, much to your horror.

Only Yangyang knew what it was as it laid under your pillow every night before you went to sleep as he was the only other person ever in your shared bed. Even Kunhang didn’t know, you usually were in his room when it was his turn with you.

But you would bring the small item out and hold it during instances when you needed a little extra courage or were too scared to not have it on your person. Like when you got seriously injured or had a night terror and didn’t have anyone to comfort you.

In your brother’s hand was to date the only picture you had left of your immediate family. And it would be the only photo you’d ever get.

Cameras where you were from were scarce to come by, but somehow your mother managed to get her hands on one off the black market. She was always one for saving memories since none of you ever knew when the next day would be your last. So she made you, your father, and all your brothers like up for a photo she had one of your uncles take for you all.

It was a withered old black and white nothing piece of tattered paper to most people. But to you, it was the most important thing you owned.

As you silently watched while your brother looked it over, you noticed him run his finger over the center of the photo. You instantly knew what he was staring at from the placement.

It was you knelt in the snow, with a small, only slightly taller fairer skinned looking boy with one of his arms draped over your shoulder tightly. It only took nanoseconds for Ten to realize who it was: himself.

Your mother had managed to save enough money to bring him back to your country for the duration of fall from his dad in Thailand. Before she had died, the two of you had been inseparable. Him being back meant you were practically glued at the hip.

So of course your mother squeezed the two of you together in the photo, smiling big bright toothy grins as he held onto you and messed with your hair.

You saw a tear slide down your brother's face and that same Cheshire smile appeared on his lips, “I remember this day,” he giggled fondly, “You ate a bug.”

“I ATE a bug?!??” You exclaimed, shocked he’d make such an insinuation, “Try you FED me the bug. I was just too young to know what it was till mom came and freaked out!”

“You still ate a bug!” Ten snorted.

“Yeah well you’re still an asshole!” You mocked him, only being partially serious.

But once again, his expression changed to one of sorrow and you knew he knew part of you meant it.

“I-I know,” He added, handing you back the photo and sitting back down slowly, as if he had to recover from the most recent chain of events your relationship together had taken, “Why do you even have that?”

You shrugged gently, careful not to jostle your new/reopened injuries, “It’s all I have left.”

After that, your room fell into a deafening silence. It was times like this that you wished you had one of your mates with you. Whether it was Hendery sitting next to you speaking about anything that popped into his head or Yangyang cuddling you close to his chest to listen to his heartbeat while he played video games, neither ever seemed to let a moment of silence set when they were with you. That was simply because, as they had gotten to know you, both knew just how much you hated the quiet.

Because quiet to you meant there would soon be a storm of mortar fire and explosions to follow. It filled you with more anxiety than it would’ve the average person. But your brother wasn’t as close to you as he once was.

So he found himself very confused at the sudden erratic pick up in your heartbeat. Meaning when he saw how clammy your skin was getting and how shiny your eyes glistened, he thought he had opened your old wounds you called memories and looked down to his feet in shame, trying but failing to stifle a sniffle.

“Are… you like, okay…?”

“N-No,” Your brother answered shakily with earnesty, the first time you had ever actually heard him do so, “I- I messed up Yangqin.”

You gulped thickly. Chittaphon never used that name for you anymore. It was the name of a traditional chinese instrument your mother used to play when she was younger. It was your stupid chinese name you hated that your mother gave to you to match with your brother. ‘So you’d always look out for each other.’

He had called you by it when you were little to tease you since you hated it so much because it was such a ridiculous name for a human being. But he hadn’t done so since your mother died.

“I- I’m a really bad big brother,” He stated, fully letting his emotions take over and laying himself into your side, allowing your clothing to muffle his sorrows, “I didn’t mean to be. You have to believe me. I- I just- I didn’t know what else to do but stay away from you.”

“Why…?”

Your question came out very meek, but it was one you wished you knew the answer to all the same.

Ten looked up at you with his big, now watery eyes, “Because being around you and listening to you live your life- even looking at you- hurt too much ___.”

You twisted your brows together in confusion, signaling for him to elaborate further.

“She’s gone,” He winced out, the words nearly too painful to allow passage through his lips, “She’s gone and she’s never coming back.”

You had gotten so used to the hole she left in your life already. Never having your mom to do your hair for school, knowing you’d never have her there to support you on any birthday or on your future wedding day, always having to pack your own meals because you no longer had a parent in the house to do it for you.

Though you both knew the sentence your brother said to be true, verbalizing it seemed to make your heart ache still, even after all these years of dealing with/accepting her absence.

“You look just like her Yangqin. You act just like her, you even sound just like her.”

That was something that was also true. You had been told time and time again you looked like your mother’s little mini-me. It’s where Ten’s nickname for you came from.

When you were little, she’d even dress you the same to give people an idea of just how similar you looked. Your coloring was darker, and you were a bit shorter than she was, but you were still practically her clone.

“And I-I never blamed you for what happened to her. Not really. You were just a little kid.”

You were just a kid. But you also knew that you were practically a carbon copy of your mom, just with darker coloring because of your dad’s side. You could understand why it might be a bit uncomfortable to push past the likeness sometimes on his end. Even your own father had issues with it at times when he was alive.

Hell, YOU had issues with it. After decades of living without her and of still being told you looked just like her, you stopped looking in mirrors or at your own reflection anymore.

It hurt your family for you to look just like her, but it hurt you so much more to look so much like the person you’d wished could’ve been there every night when you were a child to sing you to sleep and kiss your bad dreams away. So you refused to give your brain an idea of what you looked like.

Both Yangyang and Guanheng had been trying to get you to push past refusing to look into shiny surfaces so you wouldn’t catch a glimpse of yourself, but you just weren’t there with it yet.

“I stayed away from you because… because I couldn’t handle being close to you with the possibility of losing you just like I did mom.”

That’s when all the invisible lines that surrounded you and your brother’s turbulent relationship connected in your head and lit up like a Christmas tree.

“I couldn’t handle feeling that much hurt again. I know it was wrong- I know that. But I started doing it to protect myself.”

He was afraid. Of course he was afraid of you dying and him being left heartbroken like last time. And. while you were afraid to live without your family too, you definitely had become somewhat numb to the sensation of loss from everyone around you dropping like flies so often. Ten didn’t have that problem, so he would be much more phased by it than you.

“I didn’t realize how much I hurt you-”

What he did wasn’t stupid, it was downright childish. You should’ve seen that. You didn’t realize he was just a kid when he lost your mother too. And what do kids do when they’re hurt? Hurt other people the way they hurt to make everything make sense.

“And I know I have no right to ask this-”

He was right, he didn’t have a right to ask you. He had no right to ask you anything. He made you miserable for years. He had you thinking the reason he had stayed away was because you were in the wrong for something you knew you couldn’t have possibly been able to control.

“But it there- is there anyway you could possibly ever forgive me?”

As angry as you wanted to be with him for all the years of pain and suffering he unknowingly caused you. As much as you wanted to take your one good hand and smack the ever loving shit out of him with it for treating you so poorly all these years. You just… couldn’t.

In fact, as the tears managed to spill their way down your cheeks, the only thing you could manage to do was reach your hand out to him. Not in a ‘I’m gonna hit you’ way. Not even in a ‘stop talking I don’t want to hear anymore’ way. No, you could only release your hand from your body’s side to offer comfort to your brother by rubbing his back.

——

After what happened, you thought it best to keep your distance from both your mates. It killed you. Every morning you woke up alone and sad and in pain. But you weren’t sure what else to do.

You loved them both equally, regardless of what they thought. You wanted them around you all the time 24/7 and when they weren’t you weren’t just unbelievably depressed, you also didn’t heal properly, sleep properly, or eat properly.

But they attacked each other every time they were near each other or if you came in contact with the other. They were hormonal young guys who could turn themselves into giant animals at will and there was a new baby living in the house now.

You had to think of the pack as a whole, not just what you wanted. And fact of the matter was that the whole pack would be put in danger if you tried to force the boys to get along or kept trying with the insane schedule you had hoped would work that hadn’t. So you did the next best thing: you left.

Though because you knew your brother and your two mates would actually have heart attacks if you tried to leave the city or country, all you could do was leave the house and limit your contact with both boys as much as you could.

And since you felt your pack had been asking too much of Seungcheol’s (especially since they didn’t even know all of you), you had been staying with Taeyong’s pack. The leader had been your brother’s old roommate before he found Kun’s pack, so he trusted him and his to look after you and keep you safe while you sorted out… whatever it was that you needed to sort out.

They lived close enough to where your pack could visit you pretty conveniently but far enough on the other end of the city that it would keep your mates from being able to get to you easily without anyone noticing their absence.

It had been almost two whole weeks since you ‘moved out’ and both of your mates were beginning to feel the effects. Just as you weren’t, they weren’t eating or sleeping. Just like you, they weren’t able to push themselves out of bed without someone dragging them out of it.

They hadn’t been in your presence or held you since the day they each had to come over separately and say their goodbyes. You barely messaged either of them anymore. Or asked any of the others who went to see you how they were doing. To them, it was like you had completely forgotten both of them.

They had both begun to show visible signs of your leaving: the hollowed out sunken eyes, the greasy untamed hair, the malnourished skeleton look they were already close to having before you even left.

And now the two wolves found themselves understanding that their bodies couldn’t take much more of being away from you. So they turned to the one person they thought might be able to change your mind on distancing yourself: your brother.

“So let me get this straight,” Ten dryly chuckled as he pulled himself out a glass of soju from the refrigerator, “You two supreme morons want me to help you get my sister to speak with you again because you’re both worried you’re starting to deteriorate?”

“Um…” Hendery let out in a questionable tone while he fumbled with his now nimble fingers.

Yangyang in turn scratched the back of his head to mask his same embarrassment, “Yeah… pretty much.”

Your older brother couldn’t help but snort and their request, “You two dickweeds nearly killed her. What makes you think I care if either of you die from rejection at this point?” He hissed out in spite, easily letting the image of you bleeding out on their living room floor run through his mind.

Ten had a point. Guanghang knew if the roles were reversed and the elder had harmed his own sister, he couldn’t bring himself to give a shit about whether he lived or died. So why was it fair the two of them were asking the same of the Thai boy?

“Because she could die too,” Your other mate pointed out, earning a low whimper from Kunhang at the thought of you possibly being in pain because of them once more, “And if there’s anything all of us can agree on, I think it’s that we want her to live.”

Your brother gave them a glare Hendery felt in his spine. He stared them down for what felt like an eternity before he finally let out a deep sigh, “Fine. But for the record, if her life wasn’t possibly in danger, I wouldn’t do shit for either of you.” He growled showing his annoyance with his newly elongated fangs.

——

You had finally gotten settled into the spare room at Taeyong’s. It had taken you a while to get over your initial homesickness and uneasy feelings you felt about leaving your mates, but for the most part you were doing fine now.

You had even begun giving Johnny, one of the oldest of Taeyong’s pack, lessons about how to properly braid and tame curly hair. He had apparently imprinted on a foreign exchange student from Kenya and had been trying to learn more about her culture since they met.

And since you could physically see just how tired Taeyong was from trying to handle his rather large and still growing pack, you figured the least you could do for his hospitality and generosity was to teach his brother how he could better understand his mate. He was one of the few you could understand and communicate with, with him being American and you being able to speak English and all.

Since you had a little over two decades of experience with skillfully weaving your locks together, you were a perfect teacher to be explaining how different hair textures work to the boy after all. You weren’t his mate’s ethnicity and you were sure you’d have different hair than her, but you figured some knowledge was better than nothing.

The lessons even helped you keep your ever racing mind off just how much you craved interacting with your mates. The boys in Taeyong’s pack reminded you a lot of Yangyang and Hendery when it came to their energy and wacky ideas, Johnny himself was no exception.

Him and the younger boys in the house always kept you on your toes, figuratively of course as you were partially still healing. There was never a dull moment with them around. Especially when they invited Jeno’s small baby pack over for their weekly dinner.

All was going well as the tall boy messily tried to part your hair with your rat tail comb until you heard the phone that was so thoughtfully bought for you by Yangyang whenever you first got to Korea ding.

He wanted to be able to speak with you whenever he possibly could anytime he possibly could. And since phones were scarce where you came from and never seemed to work even when you could manage to get your hands on one, he took it upon himself to get you the latest and shiniest i-dohickey thingy he could.

Normally you’d say it was overboard, but for Yangyang, that was just a small show of his affection for you. He spoiled you to no end from the minute you woke up from your drug induced sleep all those weeks ago, whether you knew it was him or not.

He was always there to protect you. You missed him greatly, and the phone buzz was just another quick reminder of that.

The hypersonic sound also seemed to flood your mind with a gush of racing thoughts.

What if it was Yangyang telling you he needed you around again to tutor him so he wouldn’t fail his classes? What if it was Hendery calling you again to tell you he needed you to come home because he couldn’t take the pack’s teasing about his past anymore? What if it was Kun calling to tell you your mates had finally finished each other off? What if something happened to either of them?

But there was no way that could happen… right? You’d surely know if you’d lost one or both of them… right?

But what if you wouldn’t because you weren't a wolf? Sure normal wolves would know in an instant if something was wrong with their mate, but would you? You weren’t really a wolf, you just had some choice features they had. But you didn’t/couldn’t do even half of what they do.

So what if the whole knowing when your mate died thing was just another thing you had no power with? What if they were both gone and you had just been sitting in a new home with new wolves because you were scared? What if you staying away only caused more problems? What if-

“Oh go on and just get it,” Johnny sighed, “We both know it’s gonna take me forever to figure out how to flip this piece under that piece without losing hair anyways,” he ran his fingers through your tangled hair once more, signaling the clearing of his old work so he could start fresh on the style again.

You must’ve been staring at your phone without even noticing. Then again, when it came to anything remotely having to do with your mates, it seemed like it was the end of the world. It was a struggle Johnny now knew all too well and completely understood where your worry was coming from now that he had his own mate to worry about.

“Thanks,” You gave him a small smile and grabbed your phone, answering it so quickly in worry that you hadn’t even thought to check the caller ID to see who it was.

Rather than hearing the solemn voice of your pack’s alpha like you had feared, you were met with a higher pitched male’s voice, “Yangqin?” Your brother spoke softly on the other line.

You had fully prepared to hear bad news when you put the phone to your ear. You had mentally already started kicking yourself for leaving the both of them causing them to do something reckless or stupid. You hadn’t been expecting your brother to be the one wanting to speak to you.

“Yongqin? Why are you calling?”” You quizzed him in a hurry, “Is everything alright? D-did… did something happen?” you practically shrieked through the little rectangular device.

Just as horrifying flashes of blood, coffins, and death ran through your mind, your brother helped to ease your suffering, “No ___, nothing happened don’t worry. I just called to tell you it’s time for you to come home.”

You couldn’t believe it. You went from praying your mates were still alive to being told you needed to go home? Did he not remember why you left in the first place? Did he want everyone in the house to get hurt?

“Chitta, you know I can’t do that,” You sighed, placing your phone between your shoulder and your ear so you could readjust Johnny’s positioning with your one good hand.

“I know we agreed it would be for the best, but they’re struggling ___.”

While you wanted to be able to say to hell with it all and race back home so you could give each of your mates makeup kisses, you couldn’t. They were out of control. You couldn’t put yourself first like that when other people’s lives could literally hang in the balance.

You blinked away the tears that had formed in your eyes the second he mentioned your mates not being okay and spoke again, “They’re just… they’re just gonna have to get over it Ten. It hurts me too but they can’t seem to find a way to get along so- it is what it is.”

Letting it all come crumbling down and letting the pieces fall wherever they fell was something you were trying to hold off on with all your might. You had to stay strong and firm, no matter how much it hurt.

“But that’s what I’m talking about ___. They’re not the only ones hurting. We both know I couldn’t give a damn about them at this point, but you’re my baby sister. And from what Taeyong and his pack say, you’re not looking or doing any better than dumb and dumber over here. I’m worried you’re going to go through rejection.”

You snorted into the phone out of habit, a small tear falling down the side of your cheek that you were sure the American boy next to you must’ve seen. But he said nothing as you wiped the newly formed stream away and kept continuing to mess with your hair as if nothing had happened.

Of course you were going through rejection. You couldn’t do the cool shit werewolves could do, but you could die if you stayed away from your mates for too long. You really had the worst luck in the world.

As your brother listened on the other end of the phone for any sign of you actually responding, he decided to say what he knew would definitely get you to give up your stance and come back home.

It was to save your life after all, and he’d do anything to keep you breathing. Even if it meant pretending to care if your mates were hurt or telling you a few small white lies.

“I don’t think- I don’t think they have very long here ___. They look really bad. Yangyang hasn’t left his room in days- or gotten up out of bed actually-” He only half fibbed, trying his best to retain some of his composure and to not laugh immediately as the words left his mouth.

Your heart sunk to your stomach. You knew it would take a toll on them, but you were hoping the minimal contact that you allowed them would be enough to keep them going. You never wanted Yangyang to be so depressed that he wouldn’t even sit up in bed.

“And Hendery he’s- well, let’s just say if you thought he was in danger before with his lifestyle, just imagine how much worse it’s gotten since you left.” Okay, that one was a total lie.

He was actually just doing exactly what Yangyang was doing, but he figured that one might push your imagination over the edge just enough to make you relent and come home.

That’s when your body went tense. You didn’t even want to know what your brother meant. Kunhang was prone to partying, drinking, drugging, fighting, and sleeping around. You didn’t even want to think about how bad he had gotten with you gone or what he could’ve been doing. It made you want to throw up.

“Come bring me home. Now.”

——

Even though the now mostly fully healed boys were sat across from one another (it took them longer to heal from their previous injuries with you away), they both refused to even look at the other. Whether it was out of anger or awkwardness, Hendery wasn’t sure. He just knew he wanted it to end.

He could tell your anxiety was going through the roof. Your heartbeat was rapid, your breathing was labored, your good hand was fiddling with anything it could get its hands on to try and distract yourself from the pain lingering in the room. It was obvious.

The fact that he was sure both his and Yangyang’s eyes were flickering from gold to red to gold every other minute must’ve been a sign to you that they could lose their grip on their composure any minute. Hell, for all Kunhang knew, the younger boy could’ve been planning on attacking the second he registered that he took a blink.

He figured you knew that getting them in the same room without killing each other wasn’t gonna be an easy task considering what had already happened. But fuck, he could tell you were at least expecting them to be making snarky remarks towards each other. Instead, the two let the room fall into a deafening silence.

They both knew you were already a shooting bundle of nerves, so when you let out a tiny bit of your famous sarcasm, neither was too shocked.

“Can one of you like, say something or something?” You practically growled as you ran your good fingers through your newly washed hair in frustration uncomfortably.

Your wounds still hadn’t fully healed from the last time the three of you had been in a room altogether. And every small wince of pained face you made was just another reminder to Hendery just how badly he fucked up by letting you get in harms way.

Yangyang stared at you blankly, with no emotion whatsoever traced on his face, something that scared the older boy to no end, “What would you like me to say?”

You turned your attention towards the younger of the two mates, “I don’t know! Just say… something! The silence is literally killing me!” You howled with your chest pushing in and out harshly, signaling to both boys that you were close to collapsing from panic.

But once again, they met your words with echoing quietness. They just stared at you as you began to hyperventilate.

It wasn’t that they didn’t want to help you or make you feel better, you were their mate for heaven's sakes. Of course they wanted to do something to ease your suffering. Things just… weren’t that simple anymore.

Guanhang remembered back to the conversation he and the pup had had at Seungcheol’s, once he calmed down, when you were once again fighting for your life, this time because of them and their fighting.

It was a conversation where they both swore not to put you in harm's way at all cost. Where they swore they’d try to keep their instincts at bay as much as possible for your sake and get along.

Your new mate figured the only way he could keep that promise was to stay away from you during the interaction so he wouldn’t set the youngest in the room off since he was the most unstable, an idea that was clearly also being followed by your other mate as well as he hadn’t moved a fucking inch since he sat down.

Of course Kunhang wanted to go over and pull you into a loving hug. And of course he figured Yangyang wanted to push your curls behind your ears and kiss your forehead in comfort. But they were too nervous to do that. One wrong move could set the other off.

So as much as Hendery wanted to grab you by the hand and play with your fingers, he had to contain himself for fear that your first mate would try and lunge at him again. As much as he knew Yangyang wished he could lay your head onto his lap and twirl your hair till you fell asleep, he also knew he had to contain himself in case Guanghang got too territorial.

They had both almost reminded themselves telepathically again that they had to agree to not speak to avoid any sort of conflict that could upset you. The only thing they did was let their minds wander, and when their minds wandered, that’s when their eyes started to shift back and forth.

Which Hendery figured was normal in situations like this, though he wasn’t sure as he didn’t know anyone else who had a double imprinted mate. (Hint hint wink wink) But that’s just how wolves were. Well, mostly anyways.

Normal wolves could hardly keep their emotions in check, but them being newer wolves meant that they didn’t always have their self control in check the same way more experienced wolves did. In fact, it was practically nonexistent.

The only reason the boys were even trying to stop themselves from attacking each other was because you, being the weakest one in the room, meant you’d be the one in the most danger.

And as much as they internally still despised each other for taking their mate away, neither of them could let anything happen to you willingly if they had a chance to stop it.

When they were both alone with just each other or just around the other guys, they weren’t nearly as bad and didn’t have to watch themselves hardly at all. But the second you came into the picture, their instincts lit up light wildfire. Neither could help it.

But as your breathing got more jagged as you thought on about the deafening silence and your eyes began to gloss over in a haze of confusion and fear, their promise to each other went out the window.

They heard your heart beating faster than the wings of a hummingbird start to go even quicker. They saw your body shake in tremors and watched as your eyes began to roll into the back of your head.

All their hate for each other went out the window when your body began to go limp and shaky. Suddenly Yangyang was at your side, holding your good forearm with his palm and trying to talk you word for word through your panic attack, much to Kunhang’s shock.

And, while it might’ve been what he needed when he was going through one himself, it very evidently wasn’t what you needed as he only seemed to make you worse.

Your breathing was getting more labored and your heart was getting more frazzled. Once Yangyang realized he was the cause of your new issues he quickly retracted himself from your personal space and stared at you with enough worry and heartache to last a lifetime.

To you, everything felt like too much and not enough all at once. Everything around you felt like it was vibrating and suffocating. The lights burned but the dark consumed. To you, you were sure you were going to die.

It wasn’t until Kunhang ever so cautiously interlaced his fingers with yours that your erratic state began to calm. You looked down just as he rested his forehead against yours and began to draw circles on the back of your hand with his thumbs. Lovingly, he lulled you with small hushes and had you close your eyes while breathing in and out evenly and paced.

——

After what seemed like an eternity of breathing and relaxing, you slowly began to feel like your old self enough for your mate to let go of your hands, but not before he placed a chaste kiss on your nose causing you to lazily smile.

“Okay.” Yangyang spoke, breaking through the silence that had formed during your little episode, much to both yours and Guanheng’s confusion.

“O-okay…?” You repeated, quickly realizing how close you were to your other mate and pulling away so you wouldn’t cause the two to fight again.

The Taiwanese boy repeated his statement with folded arms, “Okay.”

Both you and your older mate couldn’t help but stare at the youngest of your little trio, wondering what in the actual fuck he could’ve been talking about.

But before you could answer, Hendery beat you to the punch, “What do you mean by okay?”

“I mean,” Yangyang stood up from his spot sitting across from you and pushed himself to sit beside you, “Okay. I’m not gonna try to fight it anymore.”

You followed his mouth in your line of sight through the whole sentence, but you still didn’t understand him. Or rather his reasoning behind why he suddenly agreed to your current situation.

“You mean you’re gonna try n-not to fight… Kunhang anymore?” You said quietly, almost unsure of the words you were speaking aloud.

“Yeah.”

While the boys getting along was everything you ever wanted from either of them, you didn’t understand why his mood on the matter changed. He had been fighting him tooth and nail about you. He didn’t want you to accept him and had quite literally said before that he’d rather you deny both of them than accept both of them.

“What changed your mind?” Kunhang asked while you were deep in thought.

He didn’t understand either. He didn’t necessarily trust it either. Instincts were instincts and, while he was much better with it than the pup was, he even still struggled to control his anger towards Yangyang for also being your mate. He didn’t get why he had suddenly decided to do a 180 and change his way of thinking so suddenly.

Yangyang sighed and pulled you scarred hand into his, this time being meant with a more compassionate and loving response as he brought his free palm to cup your cheek, “I just realized that-,” He swallowed deeply, almost dreading saying the words he was going to have to say, and looked into your eyes with a straight lip, “I’m your house, but he’s your bed.”

“Come again?” You couldn’t help but tilt your head at his strange sentence.

“You need him as much as I need you. And we need you the way you need the both of us.” You watched your younger mate bite his lip as he tried his hardest not to cry, “I’m like her house. She runs to me when she’s scared or worried like people do to their houses during thunderstorms.. Because she knows I’ll protect her from everything I can but you-” He spoke softly and darted his eyes towards Guanheng. “You’re her bed. You comfort her when she’s sad or upset, the same way people are comforted by their bed when they’ve had a bad day and just want to nap. You help her in a way I just can’t as her house. And I help her in a way that you just can’t as her bed.”

By the end of his explanation, all three of you were in tears and saddened by the harsh reality of things in Yangyang’s perspective. And while you refused to believe his narrative, Hendery somehow got exactly what the pup meant.

They both brought something to the table that the other didn’t. It was nobody’s fault. It just was what it was.

And now that the both of them had accepted it, they had to get you to as well.

“I-I don’t just love you because you protect me!” You insisted, sniffling at the end of your sentence like a child.

You couldn’t let your younger mate think that that was the only reason you were with him. That was ridiculous. You loved him exactly the way he was with everything you had.

“Baby,” Kunhang watched as Yangyang pulled you onto his lap, ever so careful not to nudge you in a way that would jostle your wounds, “I know that. But I also know, you love us and need us both for different reasons. And that’s okay. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

He shushed you as best as he could while muffling your cries, knowing that his heart would always be fractured knowing that he couldn’t cosmically give you everything you needed all by himself. And Hendery also wondered if he would always feel the exact same way as his counterpart.

(Edited 8/13/2023)

[zukuist]

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞

200 followers special

includes: multiple characters (would add more tags but.. i reached 30 ;;)

your name is shortened to y/n, they/them pronouns

notes: thank you for 200 followers! this isn’t really going to be that long, but im just doing the characters i really like so ;; ALSO I MIGHT’VE GOTTEN KIRI’S ENTRY A LITTLE WRONG so ugh sorry ;;

—

shouto todoroki

— THE OBSERVANT SIMP

from the start, he’s quite oblivious to certain things, (social ques, signs of romantic interest, etc.)

but when he’s observant with someone, then that totally means you’re special to him. does he realize how much he pays attention to you? hmm.. maybe?

he’s going to be the first one that notices you’re hungry, even if you don’t realize it yourself. he’s quick to grab a snack and break it open to you

same thing with being thirsty— if he notices that your water bottle is empty, he’ll quickly find the nearest vending machine and buy a bottle.

temperature is also no problem. he can immediately tell whenever someone’s cold; but he usually helps you first

too hot? he’s slowly putting down the room’s temperature

too cold? his left palm starts emitting some sort of heat in your direction, hoping it creates some sort of aid

if your shoelaces are undone, and/or he notices that there’s a button undone on your shirt— he’ll fix it for you

will ask to take your pictures on dates, and he’ll also help you pick out the best photo (not that any photo of you is short of any beauty)

in short— people will notice that he’s actually a big simp for you; because of how observant he is with you specifically.

katsuki bakugou

— THE TSUNDERE SIMP

just because he’s simping for you doesn’t mean he’ll treat you any differently. bakugou will be bakugou, and you eventually learn how to adapt to that.

but even so, his simp habits slip out sometimes.

when he’s cooking, he’ll accidentally make too much to eat, and he’ll coincidentally put the extras in another box and hand it to you

he’s a good student, even with studies. but would he say he’s a good teacher? hm. probably not

but if he notices you need help, he’ll sigh, feining annoyance as he decides to tutor y’all, because those ‘idiots’ are hopeless

rolls his eyes when he sees food on your cheek, but he’ll grab a tissue and wipe it off for you— claiming how you’re so messy.

he’ll act like he hates hearing your ‘annoying ass singing’ but he’ll lean against the doorway and listen to you rock out to whatever song you’re singing to.

denki will call him a simp for looking after you, and bakugou will just yell at him to “SHUT UP” >:T

he secretly likes taking care of you. his words aren’t the softest thing in the world, but his actions make up to it.

izuku midoriya

— THE DETAILED SIMP

as katsuki bakugou would call him; he is a nerd

he definitely meant that as an insult, but his input on detail makes it very useful in things like relationships

he remembers every detail of your quirk, your limits, potential secret moves.

it would’ve been stalker-ish, if it weren’t for the fact that deku does this out of admiration for his s/o

so if you so happen to collapse due to overusing your quirk— deku has a detailed plan on what to do. it’s almost scary.

he puts detail in a lot of things, anniversary gifts, birthday gifts, and so on.

deku’s also the type to plan things weeks before it actually happens. like.. planning out the perfect birthday gift

and with this, his memory is really good. so it’s very unlikely that he’ll just suddenly forget anniversaries and birthdays.

i hc deku as a bad cook, so he eats takeout food more than his homemade food

but he’s takes note of your allergies, your dislikes with food— and he finds himself mumbling small details to recall what you like

when you walk out in pretty/good outfits for dates

his face will break out into shades of red— suddenly rambling all the good details of your outfit, complimenting you while he’s at it

“y/n’s looks fantastic as always. i might die from their beauty”

if anyone calls him a simp, he’ll be really embarrassed about it. “me? a s-simp? is that a bad thing?”

just tell him it’s fine.

denki kaminari

— THE HYPEMAN SIMP

a big simp

like.. really big

he worships the ground you step on, and hypes up everything you do

y’all know when irene from red velvet literally breathed in north korea, and the crowd just

*claps*

yeah, that’s denki to you

it’s so blantly obvious that he’s simping over someone, and everyone’s just kinda used to it at this point

he’s just a big fanboy sometimes

whenever you’re sparring with someone, he’s always in the background like

“go s/o!!” 🤩

and he has tendencies to go a little easy on you like.. what’s he gonna do when you get electricuted??

but that doesn’t mean he’s never serious— nah.

there are times where he’s just a little bashful just being in your presence

sneaking glances your way, as he silently fanboys about you in general.

“s/o looks really good today. they always look good but !!”

when y’all weren’t together, the bakusquad was just tired of the constant romantic pining

it was really obvious that he was simping back then, and they’re not so sure as to how you didn’t say anything about it

mina always called him a simp

so yeah!! it was a big relief when you got together with him. he never makes you feel terrible, because he’s always your #1 hypeman.

eijirou kirishima

— THE HELPING SIMP (rip idk what to call this)

i didn’t really know what kinda name i went for this one but let me carry on

kiri upfront is very confident, and friendly. he never shows a mean side to anyone,

and there are rare cases of him being bashful

he’s kinda almost like a golden retriever? since he’s always nice and friendly to everyone

but then when you enter the room; he suddenly goes quiet, and he’s left alone with his rather loud thoughts about you

he didn’t really know how to properly approach you at first

but him being kiri, he’s still rather friendly to you (for now)

when he’s messing around, practically sharing one braincell with kami and sero

and then you suddenly walk in— he snaps out of his foolishness, and greet you with his very warm smile

“hey y/n!” he waves at you, and he hopes you don’t mention the teasing look on both kami and sero’s face

sometimes when he’s doing his close combat training, and he notices that he’s getting too close to you

he’ll be like “woah man, maybe we should move locations.” bc he doesn’t wanna hit you by accident ;;

kirishima prefers to not stand near you when his hair is all spiky. like he’s never conscious about it, until he’s around you

man poked sero with his hair before, and he doesn’t want to do that to you

kiri always looks at your hand, just to see if it’s occupied with something. his thoughts linger to what your hand might feel like

“their hand looks really.. soft. argh! i shouldn’t be thinking about these kind of things in public! im sorry y/n”

bakugou really only notices kirishima’s simping ways

bakugou always mentions the fact that kirishima goes really silent whenever you’re around—

and he’s secretly contemplating on having you around more so he can just shut up 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

moving aside all of that, kiri always carries your things.

you’ll beg him to give you at least one thing, and he’ll say no because it’s “not manly to let someone carry all of this.”

if you’re sad, he’s the first one to cheer you up— reassuring you that everything will be okay.

kiri’s just wants to be at your service at all times! it’s manly to help people, right?

hitoshi shinsou

— THE DISCREET SIMP

no one would be able to tell that he’s simping for someone

because unlike kaminari; he’s not like IM HITOSHI SHINSO AND IM ACTUALLY A SIMP

he’s a lot more discreet, and no one has really caught on, besides you and kaminari of course

he’s a lot less sarcastic with you, asking you about anything that’s happened instead of just being there

he prefers it to hear you talk. the way each word and syllable rolls off your tongue smoothly, and the way you use your hands to emphasize things

he’s amused.

oh and the way he looks at you? almost any normal person can sense the simp in him pop out (he’s so contained though)

he’s definitely the person that’ll get rid of any bug that’s terrifying you— even though he’d normally just leave it to them

he’ll do it, regardless if it’s the biggest fucking spider he’s ever seen, or the smallest spider

he’ll do it to make you feel safe.

he has these random spurs of compliments during the day

the source mainly comes from his staring habit

and they’re just so unexpected and out of the blue. hitoshi’s amused whenever he sees your reaction to his compliments

like.. you could be really frustrated about something, and he’ll just go “your eyes are pretty.” that’s his discreet method tO MAKE YOU TEMPORARILY DISTRACTED FROM THE ISSUE—

call him a simp, whatever. it’s true anyway so he doesn’t why should he be ashamed of it?

he’s discreet about it, since it’s your business and his business. but you can definitely feel his feelings loud and clear

neito monoma

— THE 180 SIMP

“i’m not a simp!”

[you enter the room]

*nervous laughter*

he had his last laugh, and he never thought he’d be this soft around someone.

especially if you’re from class 1-A like.. i became the thing i hated, ugh.

relentless teasing is amped but this is his way of making sure you remember him loud and clear

but he’ll never tease you in a condescending way— like how he torments the rest of class 1-A

that’s reserved for them 💅

always compliments you, that’s the first thing he does when he sees you—

and they’re never generic compliments either

“it’s nice to see you here, y/n! you make the world better day by day!”

“i’m still wondering what you’re doing in class 1-A, you’re much better than them!”

everyone secretly wonders how you got monoma to like you

monoma canonically likes pastels. spread the word

so sometimes, you’ll walk over to your desk— and you’ll just see this random pastel ornament sitting on your desk

you know who it’s from

whenever monoma starts becoming annoying, kendo will definitely use you as a weapon to make him shut up

he’ll be laughing at the expression on his face, thinking he’s absolutely winning at this

but the smile is wiped off his face when he hears “ok go on, i’ll tell y/n about your antics.”

“no, no! i’ll behave now, please don’t tell y/n.”

class 1-b literally use you as blackmail whenever monoma acts up, and it’s because of how different he is around you

like.. his personality takes a 180, (besides the obvious teasing) it’s alarming

—

©️zukuist 2021, bnha|mha belongs to horikoshi kohei. do not repost my work❕

[folklorelise]

The cadets are turned into kids and think you and Levi are their parents

In the same universe where they called you “mom”, (they are around 3 and 4 years old)

Also— this is adorable (this is from an eruri doujinshi by hitomi which is called curtain call)

 ------

Eren had an experiment that went wrong. He transformed into his titan form and then suddenly he shrank into a tiny titan. Then he escaped Hange and ran away.

“Someone finds Y/N right now! Eren only listens to her!” Hange yelled at their squad.

When you heard about what happened, Levi looked for Eren with you. When you found him in your office, he was not alone. He was not a titan anymore too. All the cadets were like Eren– tiny little babies.

“MOMMY!” Eren screamed pointing at you.

“Oh no.” you mumbled seeing them all run to you.

They were all hugging your leg, trying to get you attention. Jean started to cry after Eren pushed to the ground. You wanted to pick him up but there were too many kids around you.

“I got this.” Levi assured you and picked Jean up.

Jean stopped crying and stared at the captain frightened. Jean looked at you and reached out his arms towards you. You took Jean in your arms but everyone else started to scream “me too!”.

“Levi,” you said to him, “maybe we should do groups and you take half and I take the other half?”

“No. You can’t leave me alone with them.”

“I can’t work like this.”

“I’m sure Erwin would understand. I’ll tell him.” Levi offered walking away.

“Levi! No! Come back!”

“I told you mommy doesn’t want to stay with us.” Connie cried to Sasha.

“What? Of course, I want to be with you!” you reassured them. “I just don’t know what to do.” you mumbled to yourself.

“I’m hungry.” Jean said, still in your arms.

“Of course, you are.” Eren said, “that’s why you’re so f–“.

“Eren I swear to Erwin’s eyebrows if you finish that sentence, I’m going to throw you in the dungeons!” you snapped angrily.

Jean on the other side started to cry again knowing what Eren wanted to say. Eren started to cry silently too, looking at the ground.

“Sorry mommy.” Eren sobbed, “don’t be mad please.”

“You should apologise to Jean.” you said calmer.

You put Jean down and Eren hugged him and apologised shyly.

“That’s better! Now take each other’s hands and we’ll go found something to eat okay?”

They all nodded, you took Armin’s hand on one hand and Sasha’s on the other one. Eren surprisingly took Jean hand and you all went to the mess hall. Levi was already there with Erwin, with food for the kids.

“We thought that would help.” Erwin explained while the kids run towards the food. “There’s a tray for each one of you, so no need to fight.”

Erwin and Levi walked towards you and sighed.

“What do we do?” Erwin asked.

“I can’t work with them around. I also cannot take care of them alone. There’s eight of them!”

“Armin, Mikasa and Bertolt shouldn’t be a problem – they’re good,” Levi stated, “Jean and Eren would do everything you say. Sasha, Connie and Reiner… tire them until they're too exhausted to move.”

“I still can’t do that alone! You have to help me.”

“I have paperwork to do, and Erwin has commander things to do.”

“I wish I could help,” Erwin intervened, “but I can’t, I still have work to do and…”

“Erwin, it’s fine.” you said gently, “but Levi you cannot leave me alone.”

Erwin left after Levi finally agreed to help. You both sat down at the table.

“Oh no.” Levi sighed once he saw the mess they did while eating. “Stop eating with your hand and use the spoon.”

“Sorry daddy.” Jean apologised but kept eating with his hands.

“What did you call me?” Levi asked.

“Oh, it’s not like he never said it before.” you said.

Levi took Jean on his lap and started to feed him. Reiner, Bertolt and Armin were eating calmy, Sasha ate too fast while Connie was trying to protect his food from Sasha. Mikasa was feeding Eren because he gave his food to you.

“Eren I’m fine, you should eat.” you told him multiple times.

After lunch, they were all too excited and energetic unlike you and Levi.

“I’m too old for sh!t.” Levi told you.

“You kill titan for a living! This should easy.”

“Is it though?”

“Let’s just play with them a little until they get tired so they can sleep.”

The whole afternoon was spent playing hide and seek and tag. Which was not the wisest idea since Armin and Reiner ended hurt. Only a few scratches on their knees and elbows but that made you worried sick. After dinner in Levi office with the kids, they were starting to get tired.

“Mommy,” Mikasa called you by pulling your sleeve, “I want to sleep.”

“Me too!” Reiner said by sitting on your lap.

“A story!” Connie screamed excited which made all of them chant this.

“Alright! Alright! Do we have that kind of book in the library?” you asked Levi.

“No.”

“Well, I can invent a story – that’s not an issue.”

Levi and you sat on the bed and they all crawled on you and between. You started your story and very soon after, they all fell asleep.

“How was your day?” Levi asked you.

“Tiring. What about you?”

“It was fine. And it made me think…,” Levi paused, “never mind.”

“No, tell me.”

“Maybe we could have our own.” Levi shrugged.

“Is it something you want?” you asked.

“Is it something you want? Because if you do not want any, it’s fine too.”

“I don’t know… maybe?”

“We don’t have to talk about it now.”

“You’re right, but I want to talk about this. Someday.” you smiled.

After this little conversation, you both fell asleep. In the middle of the night, Levi woke up because someone was awake – Armin.

“Bathroom.” Armin said once Levi was awake.

Levi stood up and took Armin in his arms and went to the bathroom. After Armin finished, Levi helped him wash his hands and went back to bed. But before Levi could lay on his bed, Reiner woke up with tears in his eyes.

“No, don’t cry.” Levi warned him and took him out of the bed. “What’s wrong?”

“Nightmare.” Reiner confessed sobbing.

“It’s not real – it’s a dream. Go back to bed.” Levi said before going back to his bedroom, but Reiner stayed behind sobbing. Levi sighed before picking him up. “Stop crying, you don’t want to wake mommy, right?”

“No.”

“Fine then let’s go back to bed, alright?”

That was only the beginning of Levi’s night. After Reiner went back to sleep, it was Sasha’s turn to go to the bathroom.

“I knew it,” Levi said to himself, “I mean after all she ate, that was only a matter of time before she goes number two.”

Then it was Bertolt who had to pee. After him it was Connie who was a little thirsty. Mikasa had to go to the bathroom too. Only Eren did not wake up. When Levi finally went back to bed, Eren woke up.

“Don’t tell me you need to poop too.” Levi warned him tired.

“I want to sleep with mommy please.” Eren asked.

“No place, maybe another time, now sleep.”

—————

-          That one time you had to leave for an expedition

The next expedition was a short and simple one. Yet every squad leader had to be there, including you. You were obviously reluctant about it because of the kids.

“Who will take care of them?” you asked Levi.

“There are nurses. Don’t worry about it.”

The first few days, the kids were all sleeping with Levi and you but then, Levi told them to go and sleep in their bedroom because with them around, you could not do anything else than sleep. You promised to them that you would visit every night before they go to sleep and that night, you told them that you would not be here for a week or so.

“No!” Jean screamed hugging you, “don’t leave me please.” he begged on the verge of crying.

“Mama!” Armin, the youngest cried, rubbing his eyes. “don’t go.”

“I will be back very soon; you won’t even notice my absence.” you told them.

That night you proposed to have them back in bed with Levi and you so they would stop crying. The next morning, once it was time to leave, none of them wanted to let go of your legs.

“It’s fine, I’ll be back very soon.” you tried to calm them down. That did not work. “Fine I won’t go, let’s all go back to bed okay?” you said to them which made them stop crying and run to your bedroom.

Once they all left, you went back on your horse and left with the rest of the survey corps outside the walls. When the kids realised that you were not coming started to cry again and did not stop until they fell asleep. The nurses that took care of them were starting to get worried but after a few days, they started to play and eat again without any protest.

Once you were back, all the kids were waiting for you at the entrance of the wall. They were screaming “mommy!” when they saw you. Jean screamed “daddy!” when he saw Levi which made people around gasp. They did not know that these kids were in reality survey corps members. Sasha and Connie went on Hange’s horse while Armin and Bertolt were on Erwin’s. Jean and Reiner were with Levi while Mikasa and Eren were with you.

“We missed you a lot mommy!” Eren said happy to see you.

“I missed you too.”

For a week or two, the kids would not let go of you because of that expedition.

 —————

-          That one time you got mad at them.

The only time you got mad at them was when they all started to fight each other. Levi and you were doing paperwork outside because it was a sunny day and the kids wanted to play outside. You were peacefully reading your reports when they started to shout at each other. You were not worried about it because they were always shouting, but when you saw that they started to cry and push each other you quickly went over where they were.

“What’s happening here!” you screamed.

They all stopped except for Eren and Jean who were still fighting.

“Hey! Stop!” you yelled but none of them listen to you.

Before you could get mad, Levi took Eren in his arms which stopped the fight.

“What is wrong with you?” Levi reprimanded them. “What were you two thinking? You could’ve got hurt and you could’ve hurt your friends and worse of all, you weren’t listening to Y/N!”

Jean and Eren turned to you but you were already gone.

“Where’s mommy?” Jean asked shyly.

After Jean and Eren both apologised to each other, they went looking for you.

“Is mommy mad?” Eren asked.

“Yes.” Levi answered.

“She doesn’t love us anymore?” Jean asked with tears in his eyes.

“Of course, she does, now let’s find her and apologise.”

They could not find you anywhere. Even Levi did not know where to look. He asked Erwin and Hange but none of them saw you. Jean would not stop crying because you were not there.

“Mommy doesn’t love me anymore!” Jean kept saying.

At night when they all went into their bedroom, they found you on their bed.

“Mommy!” they all screamed happy but stopped on their way when they saw that you were not smiling.

“What happened today was unacceptable. I am disappointed.” you said. “I hope that won’t ever happen ever again.”

“Sorry.” they all apologised.

“Where were you?” Eren asked.

“Out, I needed some time alone.”

“Are you mad at me?” Eren cried.

“No… Not anymore, and I am not mad at you too Jean. But next time you do this, there will be consequences. Now go to sleep, all of you.” You stood up, ready to leave.

“No stories?” Reiner asked.

“Please.” they all asked with a pout that you just could not resist.

 —————

-          That on time Levi had to calm Eren down during a meeting.

That day, you had to leave to visit a family member who was going to give birth. You left without saying anything to the kids otherwise they would not have let you. Levi’s squad was responsible for the kids when none of you were available.

They were all running around when Eren fell from the top of the stairs.

“EREN!” Petra shouted petrified.

Eren started to cry, and he would not stop. The squad tried everything, but nothing would stop Eren’s tears.

“We have to bring him to the captain.” Eld said.

Eld took Eren and went to the meeting room. He knocked on the door and opened it just enough so Eren could go in.

“I want mommy!” Eren continued to cry.

Levi picked him up and put him on his lap.

“She’s busy today, what happened?” Levi asked him softly.

“I fell.” Eren sobbed.

“It’s fine, you can stop crying and tell mommy later that you acted all strong because you’re almost an adult now.”

“I’m a big boy now.” Eren admitted hugging Levi.

All the squad leaders were speechless in front of this because they never saw the captain acting like this before. He was so delicate and sweet towards Eren. Then the door opened again, and all the other kids barged in.

“I’m sorry captain, but they all wanted to check on Eren.” Petra apologised.

“It’s fine.” Levi said before putting Eren down.

The rest of the meeting was spent with the kids playing under the table, around Levi. Once you came back, you found Levi asleep on his bed with the kids around him. You tried to be as silent as possible, but Levi woke up.

“Hey, how was your day?” you asked him not without a kiss.

“Fine, and you?”

“Boring – you weren’t there.”

“Mommy!” Eren called you reaching out his arms.

“What happened to your knees?” you asked him when you picked him up.

“I fell but I didn’t cry.”

“Riight, because you’re so brave.” but Eren had already fell asleep again.

  —————

-          Random HCs

Armin loves the commander; he is always clinging to him.

Eren always wants to impress the captain by eating alone and cleaning.

Jean is your boy; he always wants to stay with you by pretending to be injured or something.

Sasha and Connie love Hange because they get to help Hange with their experiments.

Mikasa only loves you.

—————

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! <3

————— 

—————

PART 2 is out, check out the MASTERLIST!

[nachoscheesy]

Tumblr Revival

Tl;dr

Tumblr has a large interconnected community of artists and content creators, and should focus on its strengths and what it does right. Instead of trying to compete for space against Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Tumblr should focus on empowering its community and giving that community the tools to develop the site's unparalleled uniqueness.

Tumblr is the crossroads of the internet, with a monthly user traffic of 300 million it is the perfect space for artists, content creators, and small businesses to grow their following without having to fight for a seat at the table against companies with huge budgets.

Hi, I go by Nacho here on tumblr, and I'm sure as many of us on tumblr have noticed, the (hell)site is kinda going downhill. Tumblr was bought by Automattic in fall of 2019, and I am sure they have the best intentions to help tumblr stay afloat. However, I think it's time the community took a more deliberate approach to how tumblr is handled, and hopefully Automattic and @staff will hear us out. I think I have a solid solution to tumblrs money issues, that will help both the site and empower its online communities.

First and foremost, I am not involved with Tumblr or Automattic. I am just a simple blog trying to help out a place that I've been on since 2010, and I would hate to see it die here around 2023.

So, let's get to the root of the problem on tumblr right now. That being money, tumblr is currently costing more money that it produces, as we've seen with its 97% drop in value from 1.1 billion dollar sale to being sold at around 3 million dollars.

So the first thing that must be improved before anything else can be improved on tumblr is how much money they're bringing in a month. I don't think folks on tumblr hate monetization as much as we all collectively say we do, I think the issue is that most advertisers are completely disconnected from the groups they are trying to advertise to on here. Tumblr comprises roughly 65% millennials and 30% gen-z, the two generations that advertisers seem to have the hardest time advertising to for a myriad of reasons. The main one being that they don't fully understand what we want, and sometimes just don't listen to what we are saying.

Lets look at how tumblr makes its money, Tumblr has four main revenue sources,

Ads by sponsored posts

Display ads through video posts

Sponsored Day ads or banner ads

“Premium Themes”

I'll go into depth on all of these and how tumblr could make potential changes to improve their revenue anywhere from three to six months after it implements some or ideally all of these changes.

First tumblr ads and sponsored posts, these changes are going to be contingent on tumblr allowing its users to share, like, and comment on ads much like all other media sites currently allow. Or at least giving advertisers the ability to turn that on or off as a function.

The average tumblr post gets reblogged 14 times, that number increases significantly if the ad is engaging and actually caters to the communities wants and needs. My reasoning for giving users the ability to reblog ads is to increase user engagement while maintaining their current ad vetting process and all of the nonsensical ads that are run on tumblr 90% of the time.

The other reason for allowing tumblr users to share and comment on ads, or have it be an option for advertisers to turn on or off as they'd like, is that the appeal of tumblr is the ability to propagate and obsess over the most niche things (i.e OSHA.)

All the while allowing content that gets shared all over the internet bubble up to the top through the collective hand of the tumblr community. Along with this tumblr has no way for small users to share their own products or services, every single major site has a way for users to advertise their pages or products through the site.

Tumblr is a content machine that creates imagery and memes that get shared all the time across the internet, so the ability to share and curate its own ads is paramount to improving advertising and user engagement on tumblr.

My proposal here is for tumblr to expand its advertising capabilities to all users, while charging a flat rate fee to advertise on tumblr, with additional charges for popular tags or trending tags. Tumblr currently has no self service advertising system much like Facebook does for example. Where facebook charges a daily rate on cost-per-click(CPC) or cost-per-thousand(CPM)

Charging a flat rate fee at a rate of a day, week, month, or quarterly basis with variances in prices based on the lease term and what the advertisers would want to have their ads show up on certain tags. This would open up the doors for small businesses that don't want to advertise on places like facebook, twitter, or google with their complicated CPM and CPC models. Also bringing in more small locally owned businesses with the added value of less competition for ad space on tumblr.

This would also take some of the weight from tumblrs own advertising staff from having to explain a convoluted system to potential advertisers. Creating a simplified model with the the advent of tumblrs own infrastructure able to get a single post to a large variety of users. Where the current ad model uses a “shotgun” method to hit as many people as possible, the tumblr model could encourage advertisers to curate a more personalized and intimate experience that tumblr users would love.

Why not just advertise elsewhere? Tumblr still in fact gets over 300 million views a month as of June 2021 (Statosta), and the added benefit for users to be able to like, share, and interact with ads would allow ads that the community enjoys to be talked about more. Giving advertisers more honest feedback about their ads while increasing their SEO’s.

Also small businesses that can't compete with the vetting processes that are used on other sites, would have a better chance of developing their business and increasing their clientele on tumblr whose core demographics are approximately 60% millennial and 35% gen-z. This core demographic does in fact care about being able to shop at local stores, or even a store across the US that is trying to drum up its own online sales.

These ads could be placed inline on the tumblr dash while moving other sponsored ads to the right of the site on desktop, but making them alternate on mobile between user ads and sponsored ads.

Second, the display ads should be changed to allow tumblr users to share and further interact with ads to generate more user engagement, incentivizing more businesses and companies to build their brand status on tumblr. Tumblr has a good model for creating short diaries or daily vlogs for companies that wish to show off their products on social media. This includes smaller businesses and vlogers that want to post videos or tutorials of themselves on their blog.

Tumblr is a good site for user engagement with a pool of creative potential for anyone wanting to gauge the desire for a particular subject or piece of media, maybe even an upcoming show. Having the ability to share and comment on sponsored ads would also help advertisers by allowing them to get more bang for their buck with a considerable uptick on how users engage with that content.

Third, tumblrs sponsor day ads and banner ads are inexpensive and should be highlighted as a selling point over their competitors. Tumblr 24-hour banner ads are considerably more affordable for businesses when compared to places like twitter with their 200k price point. For the same amount of money on tumblr a business could have their company at the top of the dashboard or app for 8 whole days. Much longer and much better than the competition.

Keeping this price fixed, with a change in the price CPC is still a much more lucrative and attractive selling point than any of the competition on the internet today. I know this might not be exactly what tumblr wants to hear when it is hemorrhaging money right now, but let's look at the cost for these 24 hour daily ads and banner ads. If tumblr hypes up the price point on these ads they could see a significant rise in advertisers considering the lack of competition on tumblr and past success stories of companies who did advertise on tumblr.

At the same time larger advertisers should be encouraged to make engaging ads and blogs on tumblr that will make people want to actually go to their blogs, that then link to an external site or page. Not ads that instantly try to force you to go to some other site, by rewarding or offering special discounts for people who find a special code or something off of the actual blog. Or even for giving the same code to everyone who reblogs a certain post made by the advertiser.

Seems too good to be true? Look at “Asos” back in 2015 when they held a shirt design competition on their tumblr blog. Where they had 900 submissions, four of which were picked, and were sold out of the user generated shirts in 10 hours.

This is not the only case however, but FX ran their own campaign for the show “Man Seeking Woman” where they saw a 2.8% increase in user engagement, 86% increase in their tumblr followers, and they actually saved money through advertising on tumblr.

All this leads me to believe that tumblr actually was and continues to be the best place for brands, small businesses, and artists to develop themselves through genuine user engagement.

Finally, the “premium themes” that are available on tumblr that allow for unparalleled customizations that you hardly find elsewhere on the internet anymore. Tumblrs ability to take a variety of media sources, as well as having an unparalleled level of customization, user interconnectivity, and a vibrant artistic scene shows that it is ripe with potential.

Tumblr could still use its post+ feature, but in the same way that Discord uses its subscription service. For cosmetic changes that can be added modularly to the site or individual blogs for an additional monthly fee. In conjunction with partnering with community artists to bring small cosmetic additions to individual blogs, while paying the content creator and tumblr taking a small portion of the profits over a certain amount.

To be completely honest this is probably the hardest portion of this entire pitch to make changes to in a shorter period of time, considering all the testing and “under the hood” changes that must be made. However, I think that implementing this as well as the other changes I have proposed will bring back more foot traffic to tumblr as well as increase its revenue and profitability.

In closing, I am simply working with whatever information I was able to find online and a good amount of time invested on my part to do this. I think tumblr has a ton of potential still to return as a force for good for the communities that exist and want a change from what the internet has become. Time and time again when any company or public entity dies it was because it did not change and refused to adapt and innovate, oftentimes not at the hands of the people working everyday to keep the site running. Instead at the hands of people who dont see the value in what has fallen in their laps.

If you agree and think this is something that can be done, please reblog this post and follow me for more updates. If I don't hear back or this does not gain any traction by the end of the year, then tumblr can go to its inevitable end. I will be here sinking with the ship.

@support @engineering @music @wip @changes @photomatt

[liesoverthec]

OG 911 Character Details from Canon Pt 2

Hi y’all I’m back! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reblogged the last details post - I sort of just thought people would like it and it would die, so to see it travel and hopefully reach more writers was so great so thank you again!

Details under the cut since I went a little crazy 😅 and if this is your first time seeing this, the first part, and any future parts, can be found under this tag here!

Quick note before I get to the details - always, ALWAYS take details from dialogue or plot over details from the set or props if they contradict each other. The writers have the ultimate say over what happens on the show/for the characters, so whatever they say goes, even if it goes against something props has already laid down (eg, Chim’s birthday, sorry Libra crew. He’s an Aries or a Pisces). So keep that in mind for the future in case some of these details I have which are from props/set are changed in the future, or if you’ve noticed something yourself!

Also if you have questions, I am MORE than happy to answer them, although if you leave them in the tags on this post I’m probably gonna lose them, so if it’s something you’d genuinely like an answer to, drop it in my inbox! Besides my standard “ask” tags, I’m also tagging asks about canon details with this tag here. Every time I make a big post like this, I’m going to link all the asks I’ve gotten since the last post, but if you’re looking for more info in the mean time, that’s the other spot to look!

Buck has a grill on his patio.

Eddie doesn’t hang Christopher’s art on the fridge - instead it is either hung on the corkboard in Chris’ room to the left of the door, or Eddie puts it in an actual frame and hangs it using a hammer/nails in Christopher’s room. All the Diaz family has on their fridge is a bunch of bendy people magnets. (I absolutely ADORE him putting all this effort into treating Christopher’s art like it’s something you’d buy from a professional artist).

Info on everyone’s ages can be found here. (Little more discussion of Chim’s situation here).

Albert has a bachelor’s degree! I don’t know in what though, except that it’s some field for which is a Master’s is useful.

Athena was in a sorority in college, Delta Sigma Theta. Their website describes them as “ ...a sisterhood comprised primarily of Black, college-educated women ... [that] considers the issues impacting the Black community and boldly confronts the challenges of African Americans and, hence, all Americans ”, which I love for Athena, and feel is very in-character for her at that time in her life!

Chim is an aviators dude. When he wears sunglasses, they’re always aviators.

Athena also wears nothing but aviators.

Bobby wears square aviators.

Eddie, on the other hand, always wears Wayfarers.

Buck either doesn’t really like sunglasses or he constantly forgets he owns them, since we’ve only seen him wear them once in 60 eps, in a move I’m pretty sure was ONLY for dramatic effect.

Hen’s sunglasses change style over the seasons like her regular glasses do, but she tends to like browline sunglasses.

Info on Christopher’s school can be found here!

There are two colors of dispatch polo, and there doesn’t seem to be any rhythm or reason for who wears what. Maroon - Maddie and Linda. Blue - Josh and May. Jamal has actually worn both maroon and blue, so it doesn’t seem to be TOTALLY set in stone although I’ve never seen anyone else switch. Sue is too badass to wear a dispatch shirt.

Both Bobby and Eddie drive 4 door pickups. Bobby’s is navy. Eddie specifically has a black, 2020 GMC Denali 1500 pickup truck (in case you want to specifically look up what the inside of it looks like or what features it has 😂)

Info on the 118’s medical certifications can be found here.

Correction to Eddie’s living situation from last post: no next door neighbors, but instead UPSTAIRS neighbors. (Pointed out by Abigail in this ask). Also since someone else was wondering the notes of the last post - no, there is absolutely no discussion on the show of whether or not Eddie rents the apartment or owns it. But based on the fact that it’s 1) LA and 2) an apartment, my guess would be he rents it.

When Maddie isn’t feeling like herself, she tends to straighten her hair rather than curl it. It seems to be more when she’s uncertain about her place in her own and other people’s lives, rather than just when she’s simply worried - eg it’s straight in 2B, when she’s uncertain if she wants to continue working as a dispatcher/is unsure about her relationship with Chim.

For work, Chim, Eddie and Buck all use black duffel bags with a LAFD patch on the top. Hen uses several different cute bags, and Bobby seems to have a plain black duffel bag.

Watches - Bobby, Athena, Chim, Hen and Buck all wear their watch on their left wrist (but Athena ONLY wears hers for work, she takes it off at home.) Eddie wears his on his right wrist, and Maddie doesn’t wear one.

Chim (and Maddie by default) literally still have the exact same couch as in the pilot. (Which means that Chim has cuddled Tatiana on that couch, AND Albert has had sex on it. TIME TO GET A NEW ONE, BUCKLEY-HANS 😂)

The 118 has five different rigs - the engine (E118), the ladder truck (T118), two ambulances and the captain’s truck. 95% of the time, when the team is chilling in the cab of a rig and chatting (eg the ‘stuck under a live telephone pole’ scene in Jinx), they’re in the engine, not the truck. (Which I personally learned recently are NOT interchangeable terms!)

Athena and Michael got married when Athena was 37.

If you’d like to give Maddie a full name beyond “Maddie”, you should use Madeline. (I know, I know, in 4x04 she says Maddie is the name on her birth certificate, and that you should never use props details if they contradict script details, but I always thought that was a super weird exchange in 4x04 which could be explained by Maddie getting a nickname since she was born when Margaret and Phillip, you know, actually loved their kids and showed it, so of course Buck doesn’t get one, and in 4x04, Maddie was trying to avoid the entire issue of why she got one and Buck didn’t. But! Do what you want, and use Madeline as the full version of Maddie if you’d like, since that’s what’s on the BOLO in 2x13 😂)

Athena’s call sign is 727 L30, but she doesn’t have a specific squad car - the number changes throughout the series.

Chim really likes chewing gum, but he’s the only one out of the entire family!

The station has an Xbox One S, and it’s white.

In the real LAFD, there are stations 1 through 114. To avoid confusion while filming on the streets (I’m assuming), our fictional LAFD never uses the number of a real station. So if you want another station for a fic, and you want something that would be real in OUR universe, use the numbers 115 and above. They’ve gone as high as 221 in our universe.

Battalions - station 118 is in Battalion 7, which is also not a battalion in real Los Angeles. The 118 has interacted w/ Battalion 1, which is a real battalion, but other ‘non-real which makes them more likely for our universe’ battalions include numbers: 3, 8, 13, 16, 19 and above.

S1 Buck knew the term Jedi, but based on context, didn’t understand AT ALL the context provided by Star Wars, so there’s another edge of his pop culture limits for you.

Chim is the most tech-savvy out of everyone, hands down.

Athena has a VERY active Twitter account.

Abuela’s house number is 8902. I don’t have a street name for you unfortunately though. :/

Athena’s favorite flowers are white roses. None of the other women are really flower people.

Michael likes to wear purple.

When they’re at a call, Buck does pretty much all of the stuff with the hammer and the saw. Eddie does all the work needed with the drill.

Harry goes to Meadowbrook Elementary.

Buck lives on the fourth floor of his apartment building, across the hall from Apt. 416. The lovely @lovelessmotel found this listing for what is more or less the apartment. What happened was: the set crew rented this apartment for the one episode at the end of s2 when Buck moved in, and then over the summer before s3 built their own set of it, and changed some things - eg giving him an island, and moving the sink to a second counter against the far wall, you can see the changes here in this amazing gif set by the awesome Austen, but the listing should let you click around a little more upstairs and figure out dimensions better than what the show provides!

When Athena and Hen go out to eat together, it’s always fast food burgers and fries.

Waffles are Athena’s favorite food, and tiramisu is her favorite dessert.

Every takeout we’ve seen Buck eat has always been in a Chinese food takeout container, and we know he likes Thai food the best. EXCEPT! The one time we see him eat takeout with Eddie and Christopher, they have pizza. So take from that what you will......

Eddie has a cell phone and a landline.

Chim is a shameless multiple texter.

Chim and Bobby sleep closest to the door in their respective bedrooms (both right side of the bed if you are standing at the foot, facing the headboard), and Athena and Maddie sleep furthest away from the door (left side).

Some canon last names for other firefighters at the station in case you wanna add more people to a fic - Mitchell, Sanchez, Serrano (woman), Porter, Meyers (woman), Maxwell, Voyta

Hen and Karen really love decorating their house with dark/red wood.

Karen is Mommy and Hen is Mama.

Bobby has a brother, and a grandmother, and that’s literally ALL we know about his family outside of Marcy and the kids.

Evidence points to Eddie being the oldest child in his family.

Karen has multiple brothers (no sisters), but no idea how many - just that one of them is named Trey, and one of them lives in LA and has kids. They might be the same brother and they might not be.

Both Hen and Athena are only children.

Athena has been on the police force for 30 years.

Christopher and Denny are the same age (born in 2011), and Harry is two years older than them.

Michael lives in apartment 308.

The bank in this universe is CalAm.

Hen and Karen have a picture of Denny, May and Harry on their fireplace mantel.

Eddie having a black thumb + a lot of plants in his living room = him buying fake plants bc he likes the aesthetic ™ or someone (cough Carla cough) is taking care of them for him.

The COVID timeline in OG’s universe is fucked up compared to the real world’s, so it shouldn’t be used as a way to measure time! They just throw it in wherever it makes sense for the story they want to tell (eg the vaccines in s4 ep 8), since s3 was both done before COVID hit but also airing while it was happening. It makes absolutely no sense for May to graduate in March nor for Chris to be going to what is specifically labeled summer camp, and the vaccine plotline was INCREDIBLY early, even for real life, so don’t use anything from that as a measure of time. I’ve found except in specific examples, eg the two tsunami episodes, it’s very safe to say every episode covers a week - fall holidays on the show line up with their real life counterparts, indicating about the same amount of time is passing for us and them.

On that note - Jee-Yun was born in late January, early February 2021. (Conceived in Pinned, which was end of March/beginning of April, meaning Maddie was around a month along at May’s graduation in May ➡ 42 weeks + 3 days from then = late Jan/early Feb. Which unfortunately means we most likely won’t see her birthday celebrated on screen. If we assume she was conceived on the date Pinned aired, aka the very sexy hotel scene, then January 21st or 22nd would be Jee’s birthday, depending on if she was born after midnight or not.

Buck has had at least one other Jeep between the one Maddie gave him, and the one he has now, which means that when he needs a new car, he is purposefully choosing Jeeps.

I hope this was all as interesting/enjoyable to you as it was to me! And just to repeat - I love answering questions so pls let me know if you have any at all ❤

🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

Tagging: @buckbuckley

[existslikepristin]

Impromptu Review

Thanks for editing this one goes to momirene and Worldsover, and for helpful beta reading feedback from them and one dork who wants to remain anonymous.

Tags: TheLounge, Red Velvet, SNSD (Girl's Generation), Joy, Sunny, loneliness, potential traumatization of cats, a hoard of hell-themed sex toys, a strap on, a butt plug with Jiu's face in it, and bisexual problems.

The front door of Sunny’s apartment swung open so fast that Joy felt a breeze from the vacuum it left behind.

“Joy! You’re here!”

Joy blinked. “Yeah, I said I would come over.”

“It’s been so long since we’ve met up! Come in, come in!”

“It’s only been like a month though.”

Sunny grabbed Joy’s hands and pulled her through the doorway. “It feels like so much longer than that!”

Joy smiled and took her shoes off in the entryway. “You seem more excited than usual.”

“What? How so?”

“Well for one,” Joy said, pointing at the kitchen, “It looks like you prepared for a whole party in here.”

The kitchen’s island was covered in plates of snacks and several variations of alcoholic beverages. Additionally, Sunny was noticeably sweaty, like she had just run around the house preparing for guests. Joy figured it would be best not to bring that up.

“What? No. That? That’s… yeah, that’s a lot of food, isn’t it?” Sunny’s posture drooped, as if she’d already expended all of her energy on her greeting.

Joy pulled her into a side hug. Her height served to straighten Sunny back up. “What’s going on, girl?”

Sunny sighed and leaned her head on Joy’s chest. “I dunno. I’m just excited. Haven’t had a good social night any time recently.”

“Aw! But what about these cutie kitties?”

Sogeum popped her head out from behind the wall and gave Joy her signature droopy, grim stare without so much as a meow. As soon as Joy shuffled in her direction though, she turned and went back into the living room.

“Well, you know. Can’t really have a real conversation with the cats.”

Joy hummed her agreement and stepped into the kitchen. “I’m always happy to talk to you Sunny. They don’t call SM a family for nothing.”

Sunny groaned, loudly.

“Um. Okay,” Joy said when Sunny didn’t elaborate. “Not a family? Just a bunch of really close friends?”

“Yeah, that’ll work better. Not a fan of the family motif.”

Joy picked up a cracker and chomped down. “Gonna… explain? Family is normally a positive thing, isn’t it?”

Sunny grabbed a bottle of wine and yanked the cork out. “Yeah, totally, for sure. Hey, do you like Chardonnay?”

“I…” Joy didn’t want to skirt around whatever issue Sunny was having, but was well-aware of her stubbornness. “I sure do.”

As fancy glasses of white wine were generously poured, Joy made note of Sunny’s slow, unsteady movements. She worried that perhaps Sunny had already started drinking, or wasn’t getting enough sleep.

* * *

“Can you believe that, Joy?”

“No way. It’s just inhuman.”

“Completely! It’s not like green onions are suddenly more expensive to dry out!”

The conversation had started with gossip and cheese snacking when the sun was high. As the sun set, the discussion shifted to the price of instant meals, and the snack plates were all but empty. Joy had to fight the constant urge to fall asleep, as the topics were never much more interesting than that. But she let Sunny lead the talking as much as possible.

Joy was simply relieved that Sunny called her over before diving into her liquor storage. “You should start a petition to regulate the price. I’d be the first to sign it.”

Sunny’s tipsy grin matched Joy’s. Though the alcohol consumption had been slow-going, they had been doing it for several hours. “Oh that would be great press. ‘Washed up idol upset with ramen manufacturers.’”

With an exaggerated roll of the eyes, Joy pointed at a set of boxes in the corner of the living room, currently being used as a lookout tower by Sogeum. “You’re not washed up yet. Look at all of those sponsor gifts. Those weren’t here last time I came over… Wait, they weren’t, were they?”

Sunny giggled. “No, they’re, uh… new.”

Their corporate sponsors weren’t something that Joy, Sunny, or any of the other SM idols discussed often. There were usually so many vying for their attention that it was pointless trying to keep track. But Joy reasoned, somewhat drunkenly, that talking about it might be therapeutic to someone so down on their social status. “Who are they from, anyway?”

A blush deepened the red of Sunny’s already tipsy-glowing cheeks. “Uh… Nobody. Just a regular sponsor, ya know?”

Joy grinned. “Oh, come on. You can tell me. What am I gonna do? Call a press conference to tell the tabloids who’s contributing to your paycheck?”

Sunny rolled her eyes. She shot off the couch, spilling a drop or two of her wine in the process. From Joy’s naturally higher perspective, Sunny didn’t seem that much taller. “Fine,” she said, wobbling, “but you better not make fun of me.”

“I’ll make fun of you for other reasons, like how much I love you, bitch!” Joy blinked at her own shouting. She didn’t know when the alcohol had hit her, but she was beginning to think that she was a little more intoxicated than she previously thought.

Thankfully, the joviality in her voice seemed to encourage Sunny to play along. She set her wine on the coffee table and picked one of the smaller boxes off of the pile. “Disclosure first! We haven’t agreed to any deals yet. They sent me this stuff to try to convince me to shill it. I didn’t reach out to them.”

Joy waved the disclosure off like a mosquito, but Sunny still tossed the box in her direction. The weight inside of it was awkwardly distributed. Joy attempted to catch it, but it wound up ricocheting off the tips of her fingers and nearly knocking over an open, mostly full bottle of soju.

“The fuck is in this thing?”

“I’ve got some ideas but I just know who it’s from. Open it and find out.”

Joy tore into the box with no regard for the care that went into the packaging, which itself was surprisingly discreet. A smirk cracked her lips when she thought about what sorts of deliveries required such discretion. But the smirk faded right away when she got a view of the inside and realized that the packager apparently had the same idea.

Inside was a pair of plastic sheets wrapped asymmetrically around a roughly water bottle sized blob of blood red silicone. A small bit of pink cardboard advertised it as a five-speed, rotation-simulating, self-cleaning, pattern-switching, USB-charging, automatically-lubricating, remote-controlled vibrator with a speaker at the bottom for replicating a set of desired moans and a specialized charging dock.

Joy cleared her throat and stared at the horrifically fancy dildo, and its label, “Dante’s Dive,” unsure if she should toss it back to Sunny, considering it was clearly a personal item.

Sunny reached into what was left of the box, procuring a pretty little decorated card. “Dear Ms. Lee, we at Second Ring Inc were very pleased to hear your impromptu review of our products on a recent episode of ‘Welp, I Guess We’re Talking About This Now’ and wished to send you some additional items to show our appreciation. These are in no way a request for further public review,” Sunny was briefly interrupted by Joy’s disapproving snort, “but should you be interested in a partnership, we have included a phone number at which I, the chief executive officer, Lee Youngjoon, may be reached. Optionally, my username--”

Joy missed a few words as she was shocked by the extreme sound emitted by the vibrator when she pushed a button on the remote control.

“--is ‘worldsover’. As you know, Second Ring specializes in sexual wellness products, of which we’ve sent you a wide variety. They can be enjoyed by couples, or can serve as a fantastic outlet for power singles like yourself…”

Sunny trailed off. Joy was afraid she knew what was coming. “Damn, Sunny. You say so much as three words on national television and they scramble to get right up on your ass, eh?”

It was too late. Sunny was already tipping up the bottom of the soju bottle. A few drops spluttered back out of her mouth as Joy pushed it back down. “Sunny! You’ve said it yourself! You don’t want to get married!”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not still lonely!”

Joy wrapped her arms around Sunny. “You’ve got me. And a million other friends!”

“Fans don’t count.” Sunny’s voice was partially muffled by Joy’s shoulder.

“Ouch. Time for me to delete my Sone club membership. But fine. A hundred other friends. It’s not just me. It’s my members. Your members. And plenty of others. All of NCT would be--Okay, nevermind. Aespa though! They love you too.”

“But I don't want to inconvenience you." Sunny ended so matter-of-factly that Joy had to pause to process the short conversation.

"You know how… You know how you take a road trip, and there's a road block, or really bad construction, and you have to take a detour?"

"Yeah. I'm a detour."

"Come on, Sunny. What you are is the scenic route!”

There was a long silence.

“Was that the end of the metaphor?” Sunny eventually asked.

“I am very drunk.”

“You’re not that drunk.”

“Drunk enough to be shit at metaphors.”

“It’s…” Sunny extricated herself from Joy’s hug. “It’s okay. I think I know what you’re getting at, and I appreciate it. It’s just that a few words don’t really fix a brain, you know?”

Joy nodded slowly, watching as Sogeum casually stalked across the room. “Yup. But believe me. I’m here for you, at least. So if you need a friend, or some company, I’m at the top of your list.”

The cat plopped herself on the floor, right up against Sunny’s leg. Joy giggled. “Fuck off, kitty. I just said I was the top.”

It seemed the topic of conversation was ready to change. Sunny smiled, and it was enough to indicate her understanding.

“So!” Joy moved things along. “A pile of free, top of the line sex toys in your living room. What’s a young woman to do about that?”

Sunny snorted. “Well I’m not going to masturbate while I have company over, that’s for sure.” She grabbed another box from the pile and handed it over, doing her best not to disturb Sogeum’s new resting place.

The new box took mere seconds to open, this time revealing a black silicone butt plug with a red gem in the base. The casing suggested that a picture could be inserted beneath the gem, and it appeared there was one already there as an example. Joy had to flip it around to a variety of angles before she could make out that it contained a headshot of Dreamcatcher’s Jiu making finger hearts on her cheeks. She cocked her head, wondering if the image had actually been authorized.

Another box swapped between the womens’ hands. It took Joy a little longer to open than the last, but it turned out to be that way for a good reason, given that it was gently holding some fragile cargo: A red-tinted glass bottle of lube, labeled as “Juice from the Fruit of The Tree.” The lengthy product title had a snake winding through the letters.

“Well now they’re just really doubling down on this theme, aren’t they?” Sunny asked as she worked out how to open the next package, using her bottle opener as a makeshift knife.

Joy laughed and picked up yet another, now eager to see what kind of wild object it would contain. “Yeah, they really are! No lie, they’re starting to give me some ideas. Talk about sinful.”

“‘Oh I know,’” Sunny mocked the company, as SM artists often did, fingers still struggling to find their way under the first cardboard flap. “‘Let’s send Sunny a whole pile of sex junk. Bet she’s sinful enough to use it all.’ Like, come on Love-eye, or whatever your name is. What’s a single woman gonna do with all this? Hold up a pillow fort?”

“Hey, maybe he doesn’t know you’re single. Maybe there’s some stuff in here that takes two to tangle with… Fuck. Choerry’s got me using alliterations.”

Sunny barely managed to get her fingers inside the box, but her knuckles were turning white from the tightness of it. It seemed that she had left a portion of the packing tape uncut. “I said I was single on the show, though. I don’t think there will be any couples’ toys in here.”

“Oooh, I’m gonna make it a bet now.” Joy smirked. Her next sentence bypassed her verbal filter through the holes left in it by the alcohol. “If you get that thing open and there’s a strap on inside, you have to fuck me with it!”

A jerk of her arms snapped the remainder of the packing tape. Sunny chuckled. “You’re on. There’s no way it is.”

Joy had to admit that Sunny had a point, considering how small the package was. Surely it couldn’t fit a series of leather straps, or a dildo any larger than a couple of inches in any direction. The little voice in the back of her mind that told her making such an offer was stupid quieted down somewhat.

There was a moment of quiet. Sogeum rolled away from Sunny and made her way to the kitchen. Joy picked up another box, confident that she hadn’t just placed herself in an awkward situation. Sunny shook her head, amused. And then…

“J-Joy?”

Joy looked back, but wasn’t quite sure what she was looking at. It was a sort of mass of black string with some silver discs hanging off of it. Another piece of pink paper fluttered to the floor, where Joy picked it up and read aloud.

“‘The Obol.’ As Charon ferried Dante across the Styx and into the hole that is Hell, so too shall this state-of-the-art magnetic harness ferry our exclusive Dante’s Dive dildo into your… partner’s hole…”

There was more to be read, but both women seemed to get the point. The only sound in the room came from Sogeum chomping through some hard cat food in the kitchen. Slowly, their eyes raised and met. They both spoke at the same moment.

“That was a bet’s a joke bet right?”

Their drunken minds needed a moment to detangle their words into distinct sentences. Sunny’s “That was a joke, right?” and Joy’s “A bet’s a bet.”

Sunny started again first. “You know, we don’t have to.”

“I will if you want to.”

Every sentence being exchanged was followed by a palpable stillness. Joy’s heart beat loudly in her own ears, and she swore she could hear Sunny’s too.

“Do you… want to fuck me with that, Sunny?”

Sunny answered instantly. “Yup.”

There was a flurry of action, though it was slowed here and there by a tipsy stumble or two. Sunny gathered up an armful of the items on her coffee table, both sex toys and the bottle of soju, and sprinted for the bedroom. Joy rushed after her, messily attempting and failing to remove some of her clothes on the way.

Sogeum was spooked by the sudden kerfuffle and fled out of sight.

The bedroom was no less hectic. Sunny dropped everything on the bed except the soju, which she took one more swig of directly from the bottle before setting it dangerously close to the edge of her desk. She wiggled out of her shirt and bra, which attracted Joy’s attention instantly.

Joy struck at Sunny’s cleavage, wrapping her fingers as far as they could go around the legendary orbs, and her lips around one of the budding tips. Their differences in height made it awkward, but they very soon found their way to a horizontal state that eased that tension. Unfortunately, it was not on the bed, but on the floor, but they weren’t about to let something like that stop them.

What clothes they were still wearing exploded off their bodies. Joy’s shorts and shirt, Sunny’s pants and socks. All of it ended up in different sections of the room, thrown under and over furniture.

Joy was no stranger to encounters like this, and neither was Sunny. They had shared countless stories with each other… and some spit. But neither had considered their prior make out sessions to be precursors to explicitly sexual action. For her part, however, Joy considered this one differently, and Sunny’s hands searching half-blindly for Joy’s ass confirmed to her that Sunny thought the same.

Backs arched. Legs ground against one another. Open mouths met, trading the alcoholic scents that the women no longer cared to distinguish. Their minds had devoted themselves entirely to the search for physical pleasure.

A lot of exploratory prodding led Sunny’s fingers to the entrance to Joy’s pussy, failing to notice the number of pokes that ended up at Joy's exit. She took some time familiarizing herself with the drenched outer folds.

Joy, however, noticed the poking at her ass. Her mind swam with serotonin, thoughts of other people, and alcoholic fumes that seemed to rearrange the letters of her thoughts into nonsense. Or possibly into inspiration.

Inspiration relevant to the happenings at the prior year's award shows, that is.

Joy tried to pull back the moment Sunny’s fingers dipped inside her. She had opened her mouth to speak but instead groaned and arched herself further into Sunny’s grip on her sanity. "S-Sunny. B-bed."

At least that message was received loud and clear. Sunny dragged her fingers against Joy’s G-spot as she, disappointingly, pulled them out, nearly causing Joy to scream. The same fingers plunged into Joy’s mouth and quieted her as she diligently sucked her own juices from them.

The action transferred to the bed. Fingers immediately found their places again, and Joy bounced on her back in time with Sunny’s brutal shoves. Packaging bounced all around them. It was like a desperate, distracted game of Vegetable Shinobi for Joy, swiping at the jumping dildo. Sunny’s fingers were divine, eye-wateringly so, but Joy wanted something unholy.

Sunny muttered Joy’s name, catching her attention again. She lifted her head to meet for yet another imprecise kiss. Their legs twisted around each other. Joy could hear the desperation in Sunny’s moans, vibrating all the way down her throat, burning like the alcohol. She snaked a hand between them and found Sunny’s clit.

The moans freed themselves as Sunny bucked backward, almost out of Joy’s longer reach. Joy noted the exceptional reaction, and flipped Sunny onto her back, following immediately and putting herself in the position of power Sunny had initiated.

“You’re gonna fuck me with the strap on… right, Sunny?”

Sunny’s eyes widened, and she grabbed the toys.

“No, not yet,” Joy stalled in her most seductive voice. She slid down, nearly falling off the bed, and wrenched Sunny’s legs wide open with her elbows.

Sunny clenched her fingers around the hell-themed dildo for dear life. Joy’s name poured through her lips over and over again as Joy’s lips poured over her pussy.

Joy had to fight Sunny’s strength to keep her spread thighs from clamping around her head. She wanted to keep hearing her senior beg, loud and clear. To that end, she dug in her tongue, unable to penetrate far, but far enough to open Sunny up and feel the wetness flow into her mouth.

“Please… Joy… I’m close… Joy, please! Joy, don’t stop!”

The thought flitted through Joy’s head, that perhaps denying Sunny her orgasm would be fun, but something about the way she said it made Joy wonder if Sunny’s neediness was rooted in her loneliness, more than in her desire to get off. She shifted herself to wrap her arms under Sunny’s legs and pulled. It wasn’t possible for them to be any physically closer than they were, but she wanted to make it feel like they could be.

Sunny’s voice cracked, choked, and broke into a scream. Joy winced as her tongue was squeezed uncomfortably, but she wasn’t about to stop. The back arches, hair grasping, and pained gasps that followed were worth it.

Joy kept it up until Sunny’s body fell back down and her muscles relaxed. Only then, she removed herself to ask, “Need a break before my turn?”

A smile crept up Sunny’s mouth. Her fingers tightened around the dildo she still had in her hand. “Get… back down here.”

If there was any benefit Joy appreciated most about idol training, it was recovery speed, and Sunny still had it. Joy picked up the strap, quickly figuring out how it was supposed to fit and sliding it up Sunny’s legs. The motion doubled as her approach for another make out.

Of course, Joy was still immensely horny. Her interest in making out with Sunny was overshadowed by her desire to get fucked savagely, but she had the wherewithal to hold out, to let it happen naturally. She was always good at letting others take the lead. Whether they led from the top or from the bottom didn’t especially matter to her.

The alcohol made her more impatient than usual though. She forced herself to wait for the five-speed pounding she’d get, but she ground herself against Sunny’s leg in the meantime. Thankfully she didn’t have to wait long. Sunny threw her to the side and attached the vibrator to the unusual strap with very little trouble. Joy fingered herself as she watched.

“Fuck, yes, Sunny. This is going to be so goo--”

Sunny practically tackled Joy. Their lips collided again, strap hovering somewhere between Joy’s legs, but not close enough for her to feel it.

The moment she did, though, Joy grabbed Sunny’s ass and pulled. The lack of accuracy was made up for by the inhuman amount of lubrication present; both Joy’s and the curious synthetic compound that the dildo exuded seemingly of its own volition.

It was almost too much for Joy. The dildo was certainly longer than any she had used before, and bottoming out at full speed meant it hit her rather painfully in the cervix. She hissed, but otherwise just readjusted her legs in Sunny’s way to prevent the same thing from happening so easily again.

The strap held the dildo in place on Sunny’s body well. Despite its genuinely small frame, it seemed to prevent all wiggling. Every one of Sunny’s movements, including the less delicate, more intoxicated ones, translated to sensations that felt to Joy like a biologically attached dick, albeit with a plethora of extra features.

"You're so pretty, Joy," Sunny said. Even though she was doing all the work now, she wasn't nearly as winded as before. Knowing she’d affected Sunny made Joy grin into another kiss.

“No you,” Joy said with a smirk. She knew this would be good, but she truly underestimated how great it would be to see Sunny’s famous tits jiggling with the effort of fucking her. The sheen of sweat covering them would ensure the night wouldn’t be forgotten, even if Joy had another drink or two.

Joy’s first orgasm struck quickly and unexpectedly. Her breath stopped and a shudder spiked through her body from her core to the tips of her toes and fingers and head. The ability to think normally left her for a brief moment. She only kept the fleeting question of whether or not Sunny was able to feel Joy’s climax. Stars popped in and out of existence, obscuring Joy’s view of Sunny’s fantastic body.

It all faded relatively soon after, but it wasn’t enough for Joy. As soon as her lungs refilled, she screamed, “More! Sunny! Fuck me! Fuck me! Oh god!” She was practically numb everywhere, except for every square inch of her that the dildo rubbed, slid, and vibrated against. Her arms and legs wrapped around Sunny on their own.

Joy, eyes half closed, barely registered when Sunny slowed down to grab and open the extra package. She did, however, notice the sudden prodding feeling at her asshole.

“Sun--”

She couldn’t even finish Sunny’s name before something slipped its way into her butt. Her vision cleared up enough to see that even while she continued thrusting, Sunny had one hand tucked between them, and it was the source of the extra intrusion.

A couple more thrusts though, and Joy was lost to the pleasure again. She started to pant instead of scream or moan, or perhaps she was whimpering, or speaking fluent Polish. Joy couldn’t have said one way or the other. Another orgasm hit. And another. And another. She knew some time was passing between each one, but whether it was seconds or days between no longer mattered. Her mind was fading out of existence.

Until, that is, it wasn’t.

With seemingly no provocation, Joy suddenly remembered Cheungae. She had been meaning to talk to Sunny about him before they had gotten drunk. Her mind wandered, far, far more than it normally would during such intense sex.

Cheungae had taken her out several times since their first, less-than-professional meeting at the MAMAs with Wheein. Even though Joy knew he was struggling financially, he always insisted on paying for coffee, but would give up if he saw the bill when Joy took him to some of the much higher end restaurants.

He was always so polite, genuine, and humble. He didn’t even question when Joy told him they couldn’t be in a relationship, but instead insisted that they could be friends. Joy wondered if it was fair to him that she was treating him as a boyfriend in every way but name while she was still having a grand old time fucking everyone else in the industry. Cheungae knew about it, but wasn’t part of it.

And yet, sex with Cheungae made Joy feel good. Great, even. She could recreate the sensations in her mind for days afterward. His slim, toned figure hovering over her, his face contorted beautifully in adorable agony, his admittedly mediocre cock managing to hit her just right with every move. She couldn’t stop picturing him.

Another orgasm smashed through Joy’s illusion. The mental image of perfectly human Cheungae was instantly replaced with the very physical image of god-like Sunny. As tended to happen, Joy held her breath as the climax coursed through her. Her muscles contracted until she was holding Sunny in a deathly grip.

“F-fuck. Sunn-ny. Slow… slow down.”

It seemed that the request was desperately needed by both lovers, because rather than simply slow down, Sunny fell over. Joy’s pussy immediately craved to be filled again, but she knew she needed to clear her head. And besides that, she still had an odd full sensation. When her muscles relaxed enough for her to move of her own volition, she reached beneath herself and recoiled again at the feeling of a drenched butt plug. Her fingertips carried a puddle of mixed cum and lube back up.

“I’m sorry… Joy… I think that’s all I have left in me,” Sunny said between gasps.

Joy made note of her own throat and how dry it was. Whatever sound she was making while she borderline hallucinated, she’d be regretting it for a while. “All good. I was losing my sanity. That was unbelievable.”

Sunny giggled. It sounded painful. “The vibrator… or the surprise plug?”

Joy giggled back. “The plug was definitely a surprise. Was that the one with Jiu's face in it?”

“Mhm.”

“Cool,” Joy sat up, her head swimming in the aftermath. “But I just think it was you using the stuff that made it so good.”

Sunny seemed invigorated by the compliments. She smiled and reached under the bed, making some noise and bringing up a bottle of water. The two of them swapped it back and forth until it was empty and then collapsed into one another, idly feeling each others' bodies up the whole time.

“Does that mean you’re up for another… night like this? Or day?” Sunny asked as she fondled Joy’s tits. It sounded like she had sobered up, at least most of the way. Joy was too afraid of what she would see to look at a clock.

“You fucking know it,” Joy responded while she brushed her fingers up and down Sunny’s inner thighs. It was a reflex for her to agree, but she cringed inwardly as soon as she did, realizing how much more sober she had become herself, and how she wished she wasn’t. She was thinking about Cheungae again.

There was a barrage of light kisses all over her face, neck, and chest. Sunny looked far too happy for Joy to feel okay about retracting her statement.

“Maybe not right now though,” Joy said, just in case Sunny was already getting ideas. “We should really get to bed.”

She didn’t hear any arguments. They simply got up, and only long enough to flip up the duvet, flinging all of the remaining sex toys off, and jumped underneath.

It took a minute for Joy to realize she needed to remove the surprise butt plug. It was easy enough, and she ended up tossing it to the floor without looking at it.

Joy wrapped herself around Sunny. She was usually the big spoon, not that it bothered her. Sunny’s bare back felt comfortably hot against her chest and stomach. Cheungae liked being the big spoon too. He’d swap with her all the time…

“Hey, Sunny?”

“Mmm?” Sunny was on the verge of sleep, it seemed.

Joy lowered her voice, barely above a whisper. “Have you ever thought about… Settling down, I guess? Just being with one person?”

She didn’t expect Sunny to have an immense store of wisdom, but she hoped for more than what she got: a snore.

“Good night to you too, Sunny.”

[newsfromstolenland]

"First things first, let’s state the obvious: These Olympics are a disaster, and they’re a disaster on every level, from the micro to the macro, the personal to the institutional, the societal to the global. Name a level, and I’ll show you a disaster. The latest news is that yet another prominent Olympic figure in Japan has been fired. This time it’s the opening ceremonies director, and the crime was holocaust jokes he made on TV. Somehow, that’s less horrific than the composer who was forced to resign over egregious acts of school bullying against disabled children that he bragged about in interviews, and those two are just the tip of the iceberg:

Kobayashi’s Holocaust joke and Oyamada’s resignation were just the latest issues to plague the Games. Yoshiro Mori resigned as organizing committee president over sexist remarks. Hiroshi Sasaki also stepped down as creative director for the opening and closing ceremonies after suggesting a Japanese actress should dress as a pig.

This doesn’t even get into alleged bribery by Tokyo officials to secure the Games from the IOC (which, to be fair, likely happens at every Olympics since the IOC is wildly corrupt), and careful readers will also notice that I also have not mentioned the word “COVID-19” yet. Writ large, Japanese efforts to get their populace vaccinated have been an absolute disgrace, and that’s being generous. Prior to a last-minute push, in May, the national vaccination rate was 1.6%. You did not read that incorrectly: One point six percent. It’s now around 20%, but only because of a desperate attempt to undo what can only be called bureaucratic mismanagement on an historical level. Between the government holding out for a homegrown vaccine (it never came), an anti-vax culture that somehow puts America’s to shame, the internal difficulty in getting approval for a foreign vaccine, and the absurd belief that Japanese people might be largely immune to COVID, heel-dragging was the order of the day. Today, the island is being ravaged by the virus, very few are actually protected, and the end result is that no international fans are allowed to come, no domestic fans are allowed to attend any event, and already we’re seeing athletes test positive and have their Olympic dreams dashed anyway. Yoshihide Suga, the prime minister, is rightly taking flack for ignoring medical advice that suggests canceling the Olympics, all while milking the public for billions of dollars just to make sure the games go through despite a public health crisis.

Keep in mind, as you read this, that Japan has known it would host the Olympics since 2013, and were gifted a one-year delay when the games were postponed from 2020 to 2021. Considering that, the lack of preparation is gobsmacking.

We are not done with Olympic-bashing, unfortunately, because we also have to consider the Olympics writ large, divorced from COVID. I’ll keep this part short, but basically, many smart people, including Spike Friedman on (old, good) Deadspin, argue that the Olympics are “untenable for any city.”

“The Olympics create unequal cities. The very nature of the games leads them inexorably to the problems that have plagued the Olympics for the better part of the last half-century: skyrocketing budgets, corruption, militarization of the police, environmental degradation, and displacement.”

There’s plenty of good reading on this topic, and it’s hard to digest it all without agreeing that the Olympics are a net negative for any city unwise enough to host them."

Full article

tagging: @allthecanadianpolitics @abpoli

[imagine-being-straight]

A Message to the TOH Fandom

I’m tired.

I feel like everyone in the fandom can agree that the TOH fandom overall has white favoritism. If you actively deny that we have a problem with white favoritism or are offended that I said this, look at yourself and other people who have been talking about this issue. Really look at yourself and ask why you are offended by what I said. Now back to the TOH fandom’s problem with white favoritism. It’s a huge problem and I don’t think people have realized how bad it’s gotten.

Luz and Amity

Do both of them have amazing content created about them? Yes, but if you look a bit closer to the contents of their contents you’ll see a clear disparity between the two. Luz is more likely to be in Lumity art (which itself isn't a problem), but the problem lies in that she is only there for Amity. Is there still content with her alone and highlighting her character? Of course there is, but for every content that exists for Luz solely, there are at least two others for Amity. Don’t get me wrong I love Amity as much as the next person, but she still is a side character. The Owl House focuses on Eda, King, and Luz mainly. They are the main characters.

When I first joined the TOH fandom, I noticed a lot of Amity focused content. A lot more so than I expected since she is a side character. I understand that a factor in her popularity is her crush on Luz and we’re all really excited for confirmed gay characters, but it doesn’t explain how popular she is. She appears in roughly half of season one’s episodes (I know she technically appears in 11 episodes, but some of her appearances are so minor you can easily forget they happened) compared to Luz being in all 18 episodes. Yes Luz isn’t always the focus of these episodes, but she still changes and develops as a character through most of them.

The reason I’m bringing all of this up is that Amity is white and Luz is a POC. Characters of color in the past have been overlooked and underappreciated in the past, not just in this fandom, but it still happens a lot here. Whether it’s conscious or not, we all have been affected by white favoritism and it is our responsibility to recognize it and change. The Owl House brings more than just gay representation: it brings an Afro-Latina Bisexual protaganist with two major side characters, Willow and Gus, being a mixed Asian-Black character and a Black character. You still think I’m full of shit saying there’s white favoritism in the TOH fandom? Well I’m just getting started here.

Willow, Gus, and Boscha

Boscha herself is an interesting character and I think people see a lot of potential for her character, but the problem is that she overshadows a lot of other characters who are much more important and relevant. Willow is a good example of someone who has been constantly overshadowed by Boscha. Most content I see of Willow is usually Boschlow content (I’m not approving or condemning Boschlow here, this is me just stating some facts) and it’s so unfair to Willow as a character. Willow is more than just Luz’s friend or a quiet girl and more people need to realize that. If you can analyze Boscha’s character in the three episodes she is in, you can do the same thing to Willow, who has been in 14 episodes (three more than Amity). There is no excuse for the lack of Willow content and the abundance of Boscha content.

The same thing can be applied to Gus. Sure he doesn’t get very much screen time, but it is still loads more than Boscha. I have seen barely any content about Gus and the few times I do, he is usually with a group and not alone. No one talks about him and I cannot express how underrated he truly is. If you want some funny content with him, play around with his interest in humans and how he has totally misinterpreted things we know as facts. If you want Gus angst, then write about how young he is and how he could be feeling inadequate despite being smart enough to skip two grades. Amity is seen by the fandom as a whole as being extremely smart, but the fact that Gus skipped two grades, a feat Amity has not done herself, truly showcases how smart Gus really is. It’s not that hard to make Gus content and everyone is just sleeping on him.

The fandom loves to attach itself to Boscha, who may I remind you is white. Willow and Gus, who have way more plot relevance and screen time, are constantly pushed aside for more and more Boscha content. Willow and Gus are beautifully written in the show, but most people overlook it for Boscha, who in the show has been fairly one note so far. If your only argument is that you want to show the background characters some love, then where is the Skara content? Skara has just as much screen time as Boscha, but I’ve seen very little content about her. I guarantee if Boscha was a POC she would have the same level of content as Skara, but since she is white she overshadows literally every other POC supporting character, including those who have had more screen time than her. Don’t even get me started on the Detention Track kids and Emira/Viney. This post is already long enough and I don’t need to make it any longer.

Camilia and Alador/Odelia Blight

Right here is the clearest example of the white favoritism of the TOH fandom. Alador and Odalia Blight have gotten so much content about them and we still haven’t seen their faces. You can easily find so much analysis on them and how their parenting must affect the Blight siblings. You can find so much content about them and we know literally nothing about them other than the fact that they’re abusive. I know Alador is set up to be less abusive than Odalia, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is still abusive to his kids. Whether he approved what was going on or not doesn’t matter because he was still complacent with what was happening.

Now let’s look at Camilia and all her content- oh wait there is basically none for her. All the Camilia content is basically nothing other than CamilEda content (again I’m not trying to bash or approve CamilEda, I’m just trying to state some facts). Camilia did make a mistake in setting Luz to the camp, but that does not make her a bad mother. People need to remember one bad action does not make a bad person. I think Dana herself said that Luz and Camilia do love each other, but they do have their differences, which makes things hard sometimes. Camilia truly does care about Luz and tries her best to do what‘s best for Luz and more people need to recognize it. There is so much untapped potential with Camilia’s character, like how she will react to Luz not coming home or what she will do to try to get Luz back. What if she sees all of the recordings Luz has made for her? How will she react? These are all things we can make content on, yet I see so many people sleeping on it.

Now when you compare how the fandom treats both Camilia and the Blight parents, there’s a clear bias in favor for the Blight parents. The Blight parents are given more attention and content despite having less actual screen time and being actual pieces of garbage. Camilia is shoved to the side despite there being plenty to analyze about her and her relationship with Luz. Camilia is also a good person, which is clearly different to the Blight parents. It’s never been a matter of which parent/child relationship is better because they’re both written very well, but rather the fact that Camilia gets shoved aside every time we talk about parent/child relationships. I mean when you look at it, Camilia and Luz’s relationship with each other is literally the Blight family’s dynamic, except the opposite. The only difference between the two families is that one has POCs and the other is white. And to no one’s surprise, the white family gets more attention and analysis than the POC’s family.

Statistics

If you’re still not convinced here's some cold hard evidence that white characters are more favored than POC characters. I’m going to be using AO3’s (archiveofourown) data on how many works a character is tagged in.

On AO3 at around 6:35 PM EST Oct 3, 2020, The Owl House had 1921 works. As we can see Luz is number one (as she should), Willow is number three, and Gus is number four. They’re ranked fairly high (which was a surprise to me), but when you look at how many works they’re actually in, the white favoritism becomes clear. Amity is tagged in around 1480 works and Willow and Gus each are in 730 and 610 respectively. Willow and Gus are in half the works Amity is. Somehow Willow appears in half the works Amity does even though Willow appears more than Amity in the show. Boscha also has 360 works with her in it, half of what Gus and Willow’s works despite being a very minor character who has appeared only a few times. What's worse is that Edric and Emira are literally 200 to 60 works away from Willow and Gus respectively. Edric and Emira, two white characters who have appeared in literally three episodes, but are tagged in nearly the same number of works as two main POC-supporting characters. Now maybe you’re like “Oh the Blight siblings are only so popular because of Lumity, this data is skewed” so the next picture is of all the characters with all of the romantic relationship tags excluded.

The data shows that the fandom favors the white characters so drastically that there is no excuse or other explanation for it. Lumity being popular doesn’t explain why Amity is still the third most written-about character, even with the Lumity tag being blocked. Quantity of episode appearances doesn't explain why Willow has less content about her because Willow appears in three more episodes than Amity does. The only explanation is white favoritism because the most popular characters are all white (with the exception of Luz, but that’s because she is the main character). Before you tell me “Oh it's because they’re more interesting or they have more potential” actually look and analyze the POC characters because they’re amazingly well written if you actually sit down and analyze them.

Why Calling Out White Favoritism Matters

Now you may be asking: why should I care? Well you should care because the fandom as a whole is literally favoring white characters over POC characters, which is low key racist. It makes people care less about POC characters and actual people which can lead to some internalized racism if not caught early enough. The Owl House tries very hard to highlight their POC characters and actively ignoring or dismissing them is disrespecting the show itself.

I feel like I should make it clear that I’m not shaming anyone who’s favorite character just happens to be white. What I’m doing here is being critical of whether or not a person likes a character because they are white (whether that decision is conscious or not). There is a clear difference between “Oh X is my favorite character, but I recognize the other characters are good in their own ways.” and “Oh I love X and only X. I will only use the other characters to further X’s character and completely ignore everyone else’s complexity”. Please take some time and think about why you like a character and see if you unconsciously love them because they are white. No one is immune to it and even I had to realize I was unconsciously favoring white characters while writing something The Owl House related.

The sad part about all of this is that it needs to be said that racism is bad. It needs to be said that white favoritism is extremely toxic and we should make sure we don’t actively take part or be complacent in it. I know for a fact that other POC have seen this white favoritism, but are too numb to say anything about this because they feel like their voices won’t change anything. The few people who have spoken out haven't been listened too. The fact that I had to step up and make this just to try to get people to listen and I might not even make a difference is so sad to me. The fact that I’m young makes me not numb to the white favoritism. The fact that I dealt with, for the first time, racism at the age of 14, which is extremely late for a POC. The fact that the only reason I can be mad about this is because I dealt with racism so late that I have energy to speak out against this and not be numb to this all. I hate that all of this exists and we all let this happen. We all let this problem fester and now it is now our responsibility to get our priorities straight and change. If we let this problem grow and grow, then in a few years this fandom will be a shell of what it once was.

“We can do this together.” -Luz Noceda

[genuflectx]

Hi! Sorry to bother you if it’s annoying. I just read Axioms End and I’ve always had a love for monster or alien romance but the best I’ve found before was alien barbarians. Do you have any recommendations? I noticed you reviewed something with a cool spider monster so I figured you had some less humanoid ones (don’t mind smut but happy to have it if you have the recs!)

Not annoying, I love getting asks! :} I'm actually working on a recommendation/review list of terato novels/novellas but I don't quite have enough on the list to post it yet, so I'm afraid I may not have many recs for monster and alien lovin' novels juuust yet :{ Axiom's End is my fav tho!! It has a sequel if you haven't read it yet; tho the sequel is 10x sadder than the 1st, and book 3 is set to release next yr

Otherwise the only other books I have on my list (that I liked) are the Shape of Water tie-in novel (hit or miss for readers imo), and then The Mabon Feast (Wheel of the Year #1) which is the spider one you mentioned. But unfortunately Mabon Feast is a novella and not a full novel so you can read it in one short sitting. That author, C.M. Nascosta, has other smutty books with monsters but I haven't read them, and they may be just as short. Idk if she has anything that's just romance sans the smut, either. But I liked her writing style and characterizations, so you could check her out to see if she has anything else you might like!

Those are just published works though, there's lots of great non-human romance short stories published for free online, like here on Tumblr! A lot of these tend to be NSFW and are novella-length or shorter, but even the authors known for NSFW content tend to have a fluffy SFW piece here and there.

Snowkissedmonsters has some fun, well-written stuff you can read on her Tumblr! 

I know momosmonsters is also popular, though it’s been a long time since I read any of hers. 

I have original works I share here, too. 

Then there's actually a terato tag on AO3 where some people post their original works (me included)- but you might find some fandom fics mixed in.

There are also fandoms that lead towards terato shipping, which depending on the fandom may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I think are at least worth noting just in case. Fandoms can be fun places to find non-human romance, both fluff and smut, outside of traditionally published works and original fiction. The only issue is, if you’re not really into the fandom/characters, it bars you from enjoying them.

Half Life VR but the AI is Self Aware, for any ships related to Benry and Tommy, because those two are depicted as non-human (often monstrous, alien, or multi-dimensional). Benry is usually shipped with Gordan ("Frenry")

Subnautica, particularly Subnautica Below Zero (Subnautica's sequel), has an alien called AL-AN that the character talks to the whole game and whose body they build near the end. Fanfics shipping AL-AN and the main character Robin are huge terato vibes. (SPOILERS) He's basically an alien centaur and there's a line near the end that can be interrupted as romantic towards the character.

A recent personal fav of mine is from Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach, for the character of the Daycare Attendant (Sun and Moon). They're two robot jesters sharing a body, and are very popular with reader-insert writers. I’d recommend Bamsara’s fanfics for them, they’re QPP and SFW. QPP relationships with non-human characters aren’t explored a whole lot in monster communities, so Bam’s work is really fun to read in that regard, including their other fandom fics.

Someone will kill me for this because oof cringe but Undertale. Sans/reader fanfics are popular, and some are pretty entertaining, even if you’re not really that into Sans. Skeletons aren’t exactly a monster hugely popular in terato circles, so skeleton content is lacking, meaning if you’re looking for it the Undertale fandom fanfics deliver. There’s also... weirdly a lot of A/B/O fanfics for him?

Portal fandom offers two flavors of robot-romance; Chell/GLaDOS and Chell/Wheatley. Both are pretty different. Portal fandom has the benefit of having the fic “Blue Sky,” a Chell/Wheatley fanfic that reads like a professional novel and used to be ultra-popular in the 2010s.

Venom has some interesting fanfics. I could never seem to find one that really captured and enthralled me, though... but if anyone is ever looking for er, Venom smut, it’s there...

I hope to read more published books for my list soon, that way I can review more and recommend them!! Until then Axiom’s End is still top-tier imo for it’s weird/fun aliens and deeper storyline, there are lots of original writers you can thumb through on Tumblr & AO3, and fandoms can also help tide you over when you can’t find original fiction to get into. 

In lieu of novel suggestions, I have a list of rated films scored for their terato aspect.

Sorry if not super helpful, but thanks for the ask!