#including one who appeared more than two dozen times

[frommybookbook]

I'm trying to stretch out the final season of Perry as long as I possibly can so I've been watching old movies as well. Tonight I watched Serpent of the Nile for the first time, which TCM called a "jewel of B-Movie greatness" and they weren't wrong.

Raymond Burr played a drinking, carousing, womanizing, yet also philosophical Marc Antony and was just delightful. I believe this was one of his first big roles in a movie, and definitely one of his first where he wasn't just playing a mobster or other heavy bad guy. He clearly had a lot of fun with the role, and not just because he got to be surrounded by lots of attractive, young men in roman skirts and breastplates.

12/10, would recommend for a tight 90 minutes of pure technicolor B-Movie perfection.

[charliemwrites]

Part 2 of charmed serial killer Simon. (Part 1 is here.)

This part is heavily inspired by this particular Badjhur audio “Surviving the Slasher” from, like, a long time ago. Where he’s a killer. Easier to find than expected, thank you masterlist. It permanently has a room in my pea brain, no rent, utilities included.

You’re out with your little friends again. Simon scoffs to even call them that. You give them so much more than they even try to give you - support, encouragement, time, energy.

One of them has a shitty deadbeat boyfriend that’s throwing a flat party, so they’ve dragged you along per usual. You’re still swearing off alcohol after the last time you went out - when you got a ride home with him. So you’re totally sober when the rest of the idiots suggest “investigating” the abandoned hospital on the other end of the block.

You go with them as the only fully-sober one, but spend the whole, stumbling trip trying to convince them to go somewhere, anywhere, else.

Apparently the boyfriend fancies himself something of an urban explorer because he knows just how to get in, bragging that he’s going to start some stupid internet show looking for ghosts there. You end up getting knocked into a half dozen times just trying to keep your woozy friends from getting tetanus.

It doesn’t take long at all for someone to suggest hide and seek. You try adamantly to put your cute little foot down - reminding them that it’s dirty and structurally unstable and there could be people just trying to camp out in peace in here. You’re adamantly ignored and your friends scatter.

And Simon starts to hunt.

Oh, he wishes he could have seen your face when the screams first started. If you recognized the shriek of Addy, the one who yanked you away from a proper apology when you first bumped into him at the bar. Wonders if you felt anything when Simon stabbed her boyfriend in the stomach and sent him stumbling away to incite more terror.

Of course you did. His pretty little chatterbox, coming to the rescue as soon as you heard their cries.

You get yourself lost trying to find someone, anyone. He picks off your group one. By. One. He finds you trying to triage a nasty slice to Heather’s thigh. She was talking shit about you just two days ago to Addy.

And oh, how brave you are, trying to stick with her to the very end. All it takes is one well-placed throw and you’re scrambling back as Heather burbles blood.

He takes a single, loud step towards you - and you bolt. Such a smart thing, you don’t even glance back to see if he’s following. He’s not; there’s still trash to take care of.

You find one more friend - one he doesn’t mind so much, mostly because you just met tonight. She’s crying, making a fuss and you’re trying to soothe her while still focused on escape, letting her cling to your arm.

Simon starts herding you both towards an easy exit. A few well placed foot falls here, a jaunty whistle there. He loves watching your big eyes dart toward the noises, how you get low like a bunny hiding in brush. Always put yourself between your new friend and wherever you think he could come from.

Your friends’ blood is beginning to dry when he decides it’s time to wrap things up.

He appears in a doorway, and you shove at your fellow survivor, make her squeeze through the rusty door first. You’re just starting to follow when he snags you around the middle. You yelp, feet kicking at air, tugging at his soaked hoodie sleeve.

He shoves your back against a wall and presses close, the flat of his knife against your pretty cheek.

“What did we learn tonight, hm?” he mocks.

You’re flinching away, but know better than to struggle or scream. So clever.

“W-why are you doing this?” you ask.

How sweet, that you can’t understand the motivations of monsters like him. He indulges you.

“To teach you a lesson,” he answers. “Get better friends.”

You look furious, even as tears well in your eyes. He coos over them, tugs the bottom of his mask up enough to lick them as they fall down your cheek.

“S-Stop, that’s - that’s so gross,” you hiccup, pancaking yourself to the wall.

He snorts in amusement and tugs his mask down again.

“Now, I know you’re a good girl with good manners, so let’s see them.”

You blink at him, eyes soooo big. Don’t understand what he means.

He tuts. “Say: thank you, ghost, for teaching me a valuable lesson.”

You press your lips together in a tight, pouty line. He wants to bite them. Instead, taps the point of the knife against your jaw. A silent threat that’s he’s still debating if he means.

But you manage to get the sentence out, stuttering, voice breaking halfway through. Mm, he’s missed hearing your gratitude. It’s almost sweeter this way than all the times you said it in his car.

“You’re very welcome, sunshine. Now, off you go, before I decide to teach you something else.”

You don’t hesitate when he steps back. Peel yourself off the wall and wriggle out to freedom.

Simon chuckles. What a fun little playdate, he’s so glad he let you go that first time. He’ll have to arrange another one soon.

Previous | Next

Masterlist

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Hedy Lamarr (Samson and Delilah, Ziegfeld Girl)—Look. I'm sure someone has already submitted Hedy Lamarr because she was spectacularly beautiful, and a very strong lady too: she fled both an abusive marriage AND nazi persecution at a very young age and rebuilt a life for herself pursuing her love for acting all on her own!! Her career as an actress was stellar; while she began acting outside of Hollywood (her very first movie, Ecstasy, won a prize at the Venice Film Festival), she conquered American hearts very quickly with her first movie in the US, Algiers, and then just kept getting better and better. If all this isn't enough, she was also an inventor: her invention of the frequency-hopping spread spectrum radio transmission technique forms the base of bluetooth and has a lot of applications in all kinds of communication technologies. I think that deserves a prize, don't you?

Gina Lollobrigida (Solomon and Sheba, The Hunchback of Notre Dame)— One of the highest profile movie stars in Europe across the 50s and 60s. International sex symbol. Starring in European and American movies. She appeared in movies alongside Hollywood stars such as Humphrey Bogart and Rock Hudson. Was in 54 movies by 1970. A MOVIE STAR in every essence. Has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Won three David di Donatello, a Golden Globe two Nastro d'Argento, and six Bambi awards. And nominated for more.

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Hedy Lamarr:

The only person you can find both on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and in the Inventor's Hall of Fame--her radio-frequency-hopping technology forms the basis for cordless phones, wi-fi, and a dozen other aspects of modern life. She was also passionate in her efforts to aid the Allies in WWII (unsurprising for a Jewish-Austrian Emigree to America), and her name served as the backbone for one of the best running jokes in what is possibly Mel Brooks' best movie. Look, Louis B. Mayer apparently believed he could plausibly promote her as "The world's most beautiful woman". Is an entire website full of people going to be less audacious than one Louis B. Mayer? I didn't think so!

Described as "Hedy has the most incredible personal sophistication. She knows the peculiarly European art of being womanly; she knows what men want in a beautiful woman, what attracts them, and she forces herself to be these things. She has magnetism with warmth, something that neither Dietrich nor Garbo has managed to achieve" by Howard Sharpe, she managed to escape her controlling husband (and Nazi Germany) by a) Disguising as her maid and fleeing to Paris or b) Convincing the husband to let her wear all of her jewelry to a dinner, only to disappear afterwards. Also she was particularly clever and helped develop Frequency-Hopping Spread Spectrum (I can't really explain it but anyway...)

Her depiction of Delilah and Samson and Delilah just lives rent free in my head. The woman was gorgeous.

One of the most beautiful women ever in film, spoken by many critics and fans. Beautiful shapely figure, deeper seductive voice, and often played femme fatale roles. She was also brilliant and an inventor. Mainly self-taught, she invested her spare time, including on set between takes, in designing and drafting inventions, which included an improved traffic stoplight and a tablet that would dissolve in water to create a flavored carbonated drink, and much more.

Gorgeous and brilliant pioneer of modern technology and the middle part.

Gina Lollobrigida:

She was an international sex symbol once dubbed as The Most Beautiful Woman In The World. She acted in films in both Italy and France before starring in Beat The Devil with Humphrey Bogart. When portraying soprano Lina Cavalieri, she sang all of the songs in her own voice. This role won her the very first David di Donatello Award for Best Actress, Italy's academy awards.

She was one of the highest-profile European actresses of the 1950s and 1960s, a period in which she was an international sex symbol. Humphrey Bogart once said of her: "She makes Marilyn Monroe look like Shirley Temple."

Literally starred in a movie called "The Most Beautiful Woman in the World". I rest my case.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Tell me, tell me, tell me

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Loki

Summary: your husband doesn't handle change well and falls into old habits.

This is one of my birthday drabbles. Of course, little lies had a lot of votes and has earned it's own little add on. Thanks again for your input :) Enjoy.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

A birthday drabble for Little Lies 

You sit up and smile as the man exits Loki’s office. He looks content but your husband looks less than as he appears in the doorway. He crosses his arms and watches the candidate leave. You’ve gone through this routine at least two dozen times this week. 

“How was it?” You ask. 

He hums flatly and stares after the man’s departure. 

“His resume was great. What’s wrong?” 

Loki pouts and looks at you. He stands straight and crosses his arms. “He’s not you.” 

“Oh, I know. I’m so talented at keeping your agenda,” you retort dryly. “You can’t keep doing this. You have to hire someone.” 

“Don’t you understand?” He strides forward and stops just on the other side of your desk. His hands drop to his hips. “You’re asking me to replace you. That’s impossible.” 

“Ha, when did you get so sentimental?” You ignore him for the email on your screen. 

“Since the day you broke your leg, actually.” 

“Shut up,” you snip without looking up. 

“Truly. As worried as I might’ve been, I do miss those crutches. You were... manageable then.” 

You shake your head. “Well, you never are, but I’m hoping you can find an assistant that can do a somewhat decent job of it.”

He huffs and slithers around the desk. He sits on the corner, crowding you. “It won’t matter. I’ll be a mess without you, darling.” 

“I screened him. What was wrong with Peter?” You challenge, leaning back in your chair to face him. 

“Little upstart. I don’t need him flirting with my clients,” he harrumphs. 

“As if you don’t.” 

“On my honour,” he puts his hand to his chest, “I’ve changed my ways. You know it. I gave my vows.” 

“Uh huh.” You tut and check the time. “Well, who else? Jacqueline was good. She has a great CV and she’s very warm and welcoming.” 

“But I adore the way you snarl at me. It makes me...” Loki trails off and touches his belt. 

“You’re looking for an assistant,” you remind him. 

“Yes, but I will be losing my wife.” 

“That’s dramatic. It’s not like you can’t come see me. I can come back too between terms.” 

“School. You’re leaving me for school,” he mopes and shakes his head. 

“I’m trying to better myself, Lo. I don’t want to be your secretary my whole life.” 

“Personal Assistant,” he corrects. “Prized Asset.” 

“Ugh, you are so--” you put your hand up in exasperation. “This isn’t about the job. You’ll just call the temp agency, huh? So, you don’t have to pay benefits.” 

He shrugs guiltily as he examines the wall behind you. 

“What is this really about?” You insist. 

“Nothing.” 

“Tell me.” 

“I swear, I’ll miss you--” 

“Yeah, yeah, and I’ll miss you too. Blah blah blah,” you flutter your fingers at him and push yourself to your feet. You go to him and he looks at you with those sparkling green eyes. You put your hands on his shoulders and he instinctively frames your hips. “What is bothering you so much?” 

He stares at you then looks down. His lips thin and he tilts his head one way then the other. His gaze flicks back up to you. A grin creases his face and he laughs, “it’s foolish. Stupid! I shouldn’t worry.” 

“Loki,” you warn. 

He sighs. He peeks over at the door and his mouth slants. “You’re going to meet a lot of young men. Like that Peter.” 

You narrow your eyes and frown. Then you smile and scoff. You grab his chin and make him look at you, “you’re worried I’m going to meet some young gun and ditch my old man?” 

“Old? I wouldn’t use that word,” he winces. 

“You really think I would run off with some young hunk? With big burly shoulders and a nice chest...” Your let your tone drift into a dreamy drone. “Oh and thick hair and stamina like no one’s business...” 

“Hey!” He pokes your side and you cackle. 

“Loki, I’m not going to do anything like that. I’ll be far too busy studying and I’m too old for all that. Those twenty-year olds don’t want me. Now, hire a replacement so I can deal with all this nonsense.” You caress his cheek and give a smile. 

“You underestimate those twenty-year old cads. I once was one and I would've pounced on you at once.” 

“Oh really. Because you’re like forty and took years.” 

“Eh, let’s not toss around numbers here.” He sniffs. “I’m just saying that you are a beautiful woman, obviously. I married you. And those young ones, well, they like the allure of an older woman.” 

“Alright, alright,” you pat his shoulder. “Let it go.” You exhale and look him in the face. He stares back at you and squeezes your hips. “I’ll miss you.” 

His cheeks dust with pink and he smirks, “I'll miss you too, darling.” 

“You better.” 

His eyes fog and slowly crawl down. You squirm as he stands, crowding you, and his hands grazes along your sides. He walks his fingertips up and down and grips your waist again. He spins you suddenly, pinning you against the desk. 

“Let me be your young gun, eh? Show you this old man’s still got it.” He purrs. 

“Lo,” you rub his chest. 

“I can’t have you running off not thinking of me and how I’d put any of them to shame.” He winks and leans in, brushing the tip of his nose against yours. “Mm, Mrs. Laufeyson, is that what you want? A sweet young thing. I’ve not lost my touch, believe me.” 

“Lo,” you put your hand over one of his. 

“I feel you trembling, darling.” 

“Not here,” you tug on his hand. 

“Anywhere.” He urges you back until you hit the desk.  

He leans in until you’re forced to brace the desk. You strain backward and he reaches around to swipe the desk clear. Your monitor and laptop teeter dangerously near the edge as the rest of your things scatter. You gasp. 

“Loki!” 

“I’ll buy new ones,” he lifts you at once and puts you on the desk. 

“You can’t--” 

“I am.” 

He puts his hand under your chin and forces your head up. His thumb rubs along your cheekbones as he marvels down at you. He exhales and tickles your nose with his. You scrunch up your face and he presses a kiss to your lips. 

You push against his chest as his tongue glides along your lips. You murmur and try to resist. You never can. His hand brushes up and down your side then hooks up to your neck. He holds your head between his hands as he invades your mouth. He consumes you as he shifts and pushes between your knees. 

You clutch his lapel and part from his lips with a gulp. “Loki--” 

“Let me remind you who you married, darling. It was no old man,” he yanks his tie free as he clings to the front of your blouse, bunching it as he keeps you snagged. He tosses the silk and draws you back to him. 

You giggle, cheeks vibrant with heat, and shake your head. “Oh, I know who I married.” 

“And you will keep it in mind with those young lads.”  

He pinches a button, tediously undoing it with a single hand. He snarls and withdraws briefly to tear open his shirts. Buttons scatter as he snarls and steps up once more. He cradles your head in his hands and enshrines you in another fervent kiss, this one has you breathless. 

You put your hands on your chest, feeling the way his muscle tenses with need. He shudders as you drag your touch down to his stomach and the firm muscle clenches. He growls into you and bends you until your back is against the desk. He pins you there as he runs his hand down the length of your figure. 

He hooks his thumb beneath the hem of your dress and pushes the skirt up. You wriggle and feel blindly along his belt. He twitches as you latch onto his buckle. He hums and parts from your mouth, gasping against your cheek. 

His belt clinks open at your blind tugging and you pick open his fly. He growls and nips your ear lobe, laying a trail of kisses across your jaw and down your neck. He pants slacken and you push them down with his briefs. He springs free and wiggles his hips so his belt slides lower. 

He pulls your rear over the edge and flutters his fingers along your thigh. You curl your other leg around him as he tickles the front of your panties. He presses your clit through the thin fabric. You draw his mouth back to yours hungrily.  

Your tongues meet in a flurry of need and dread. You need each other right then and dread the separation to come. You’ve been outrunning that fact. That distance will not be easy, even so much as you’ve longed for it. 

He rubs you through your panties until he can feel you seeping through. He traces the trim of the lingerie and peels them away from your cunt. The satin bunches against your thigh as he flips your skirt up and moves closer. 

You know each other by touch. He finds you without hesitation. He slides into you in a single lunge and you drone in delight. Your turn your head as his wet lips smear over your cheek. He groans as your walls squeeze him. 

“Darling,” he drawls. 

You puff and arch your back, hooking your legs so that your heels press into the back of his thighs. You tilt your hips, goading him on as he takes his long, patient strokes. That pace he keeps when he means to torture. 

You snarl and grab his chin. You force his head up, “I thought you said you weren’t going to fuck me like an old man.” 

His eyes flicker and his lips curve into a devious smirk. He slams his hips against you and you cry out. Your nails dig into his jaw and you laugh through your teeth. He does it again, jolting the desk with you, and you quiver around him. 

“Oh, yes,” you grit. “You can do it, old man.” 

“Old. Man.” He chuffs out and rams into your again. 

You chuckle only to be met with another blunt rut. Your voice fizzles to a squeal.  

He traces along the top of your dress and drags the sleeve down your shoulder. He follows the cut of the bodice and uncovers your bra beneath. He quickly pulls the strap down and flips the cup inside out. He fondles you at once.  

His hips pump into you, harder and harder. His thumb flicks over your nipple, swirling around to tease. He hunches and dips down to take the bud between his teeth. He snarls and bucks faster. You hug him between your thighs and wrap an around his head. 

His other hand snakes down between your bodies. He pushes against your clit, the motion of his pelvis moving his fingers against you. The friction melds into the pressure inside. Your eyes roll back as you cling to his shoulder, your other hand on his lower back, beckoning him deeper. 

His harried grunts punctuate your soft moans, the slap of flesh and constant clink of his buckle adding to the twisted melody of your fucking. You roll your hips up into his. Just a little more. 

Your thighs shake and the swell in your core threatens to boil over. Your voice begins to crest and suddenly, he stops. You groan and clamp onto his side. You try to pull him down as he lifts himself. He keeps only his tip inside of you.  

Your eyes snap open as he flings his tussled hair back and looks you in the face. Your brows furrow. 

“Old man?” He challenges. 

“Lo...” you breathe, “please.” 

“No, no, that is what you said. So, allow me to prove you wrong.” He snickers and nips at your lower lip. “I can keep up, can you?” 

He dips into you slowly and you whine. Your head lolls and your lashes flutter. You bare your teeth at him and hiss. “I hate you.” 

“How can you hate this, darling?” He rears back and thrusts again. “Mm, I feel the way you’re clinging to me.” 

“Just--” You flare your nose and turn your head straight. “Do it. Old man.” 

His irises spark and he snaps his hips. You yipe and he twirls his fingertips against your clit. You shudder at the sensation. 

“Oh ho, darling, do you want to cum?” 

“Loki--” 

“Tell me you want to cum.” 

“Lo--” 

“Beg me.” He commands and pulls his fingers away. The coolness left in the shadow of his touch makes you squirm. “I did vow to serve you, darling, but I cannot if you do not say what you want.” 

Frustration, desperation, call it what you will. You whimper and reach for his hand. You guide it back to your clit and growl, “make me cum.” 

It’s his turn to shiver. He twists his hand away from yours to grab your fingers and pushes them to your bud. You gasp as he uses them to rub you instead. As he does, his hips fall into tempo. 

He fucks you so the desk scrapes the floor and his thighs hits the sharp edge. He raises himself as he spreads a hand across your stomach and watches himself delves into you, over and over. He guides your fingers in a frantic rhythm and the tension clusters beneath your own touch. 

You spasm and cry out, legs locked around his as you trap him inside you. 

“Oh, yes, make me cum, Loki, make me--” you descend into a stream of gibberish as you contort on the desk. You bite your knuckles to silence yourself, heaving wildly as your lungs burn and your skin tingles. 

“Um...” a knock sounds at the door and Loki halts mid-thrust. You share a startled look then slowly glance over at the open door. Shit. The last interviewee, Peter, stands dumbfounded as he peers in from the hall. “I, uh, forgot my phone in your office.” 

“Well,” Loki clears his throat and looks down at you with a sinister gleam. “Go and get it. Can’t you see I’m busy?” 

[gooondocks]

no one's ever had me (not like you) — evan buckley.

writing masterlist | askbox

─── summary: when buck meets his high school sweetheart at the ten-year reunion, he learns that their lives may be very different now, but the spark is still there.

─── pairing: evan buckley x gn!reader.

─── warnings & notes: fluffy fluff. no use of y/n, i'm british so probably inaccurate depiction of high school reunions. based on the song 'so high school' by taylor swift bc i heard it and couldn't stop thinking of this idea. crappy ending bc i suck at wrapping things up. enjoy!!!

─── word count: 2.1k.

     "DO YOU THINK ANYONE'S DONE US all a favour and spiked the punch yet?"

     When the email appeared in his inbox a few months ago — an e-vite, of all things, complete with the kind of graphic design prowess he hasn't seen since the early 2000s — Buck had been pretty intent on ignoring it.

     A hundred excuses had bubbled up in the back of his mind, because honestly, the thought of heading back to his hometown to attend a high school reunion made his skin itch. Trapping himself in a sweaty gymnasium, surrounded by dozens of almost-strangers engaged in a vanity contest of 'who's the most successful?' coupled with a shitty DJ blasting 2010's greatest hits?

     It's really not what he'd call a good time.

     Even if he could've talked himself into it, sharing a ZIP code with his parents for even a day or two was more than he was willing to tolerate. He'd left Hershey in his rearview almost a decade ago, and there's not a fragment of his whole being that regrets it for even a second.

     Except.

     Except the dates lined up with one of his rare weekends off work. Except when he looked up the flights online, just to see, he'd stumbled across a deal so cheap Buck honestly thought he was hallucinating for a moment.

     Except Evan Buckley believes in signs from the universe, and when Maddie gives him that look over lunch one day, even though Buck had absolutely not mentioned the reunion to anyone, it's the final nail in the coffin for him.

     He booked the tickets. He told the team he'd be out of town for the weekend, and bought a new shirt, and now he's standing in his old high school gymnasium. He wrinkles his nose at the smell, that sweat-and-hormones stink that never really goes away, and you're sidling up to him at the refreshments table, and the speakers are blaring an old Ke$ha song he hasn't heard in years.

     For a moment, he's seventeen again. The sound of your voice slips over his skin like a cool breeze in the desert and suddenly it could be the night of junior prom, and the pair of you have sequestered yourselves in a shadowy corner, laughing at the committee's subpar attempt at an 'Under the Sea' theme.

     Buck blinks, and he isn't seventeen, but he flashes you a wide smile anyway as you help yourself to a glass of bright red punch.

     "Hi."

     He says the word so quietly, he's surprised you even hear it. But there's a sparkle in your eye as you raise the cup to your lips, and he knows you heard him.

     You always could.

     The last day Buck ever saw you, he kissed you goodbye before you piled into your dad's old truck and drove out of sight, bound for college and big dreams and a future that didn't include him. Your lips had been damp with tears. On his loneliest nights, Buck swears he can still taste the salt on his tongue.

     It's been a decade, but you still look so similar to the wide-eyed kid he fell in love with. Your hair's a little longer, perhaps; there's a scar on your chin that wasn't there before, and the dimples around your smile have deepened, but that's all. You're still you. The thought makes his chest ache a little, but it's a good pain.

     He wonders if he's changed much. He wonders what you see when you look at him.

     "I suspect it was the first thing Marty Brandt did when he got here," Buck adds, louder this time, and you laugh, and he wonders how he went ten years without hearing that sound. "I didn't think you'd be here. Didn't see your name on the RSVP list."

     You shrug. "Jem bullied me into it. Emailed my boss to get the time off and everything."

     Even as you try to seem annoyed, a trickle of fondness finds its way into your voice. When Buck follows your gaze to the dance floor, it's hard to miss your childhood best friend throwing shapes to an old Maroon 5 song.

     "You two still talk?" He doesn't mean to sound surprised, except...

     Well. Staying in touch with high school pals hadn't been a priority when he skipped town. Hard to imagine a single one of his classmates he'd want to stay in touch with. Except you.

     A grin tugs at your mouth. "Worse. We work together." You tilt your head, still smiling fondly in Jem's direction. "Tried to shake her off, but she wouldn't let me."

     He knows a little about that. "Or was it the other way around?"

     "Wouldn't you like to know, Buckley?"

     He would, actually. He watches you grimace a little at the flavour of the punch when you take another sip, an adorable twist to your mouth that he once knew so well. A decade ago, the sight of your pout could've made him do anything.

     "Tastes like half a bottle of vodka," you tell him, and you take another sip even though he knows you never liked vodka. Remembers playing truth or dare at a party in junior year, and how you threw up in the bushes afterwards.

     Buck had held back your hair and tucked you against his side afterward, letting you snuggle into the warmth of him while you slept off the worst of your hangover.

     There's a distance between you now, but it's comfortable. Buck tucks his hands into the pockets of his jeans and the pair of you migrate over to a shadowy corner of the gymnasium, away from the prying eyes of your former classmates.

     "So," Buck says, as the DJ switches to another song, "how have you been?"

     He can't help but wince half a second later. Seriously? How have you been? He's never been to a high school reunion before, but he's seen plenty of movies, and he's pretty sure he's hitting all the marks of being a fucking cliché.

     To your credit, you don't laugh at him. Cheeks flushed the prettiest shade of pink Buck has ever seen, you manage to bite back the giggle rising in your throat.

     Buck wants to sink through the floor.

     "I've been okay," you tell him, swirling your glass of punch absently. The corners of your eyes crinkle a little as you smile at him. "Life, y'know?"

     He does. He really fucking does. "Any partners? Kids, spouses, anyone I have to worry about punching me?"

     You only mentioned Jem earlier, so it doesn't seem like you brought a date, but he isn't sure he'd love it if he found his partner cosied up in a dark corner with their high school sweetheart.

     God, he hopes you didn't bring a date.

     There it is, a flash of— something, there and then gone in an instant. Buck hasn't thought about high school in years. Hasn't paid any mind to the friends he left behind. Once or twice, his thoughts have flitted to you, though. The one that got away. Where you are, if you were happy.

     When he landed in LA, when he finally settled into his place at the 118, he'd thought of you. He'd hoped you managed to find a place you belonged. A family that loved you like his did.

     He thought this would be awkward. Running into you again. Your name hadn't been on the RSVP list, and he'd been so relieved, because what if there was some uneasy tension between you? Buck isn't sure he'd have been able to cope with that.

     There aren't a lot of happy memories from his childhood. His adolescence left a lot to be desired, but— you. A bright spot in all that grey.

     An uncomfortable reunion might have ruined that. Those memories are cherished, for Buck; locked up tight in his battered heart.

     But it's not uncomfortable, or awkward, or uneasy. Ten years and ten seconds have slipped by like sand in an hourglass and he wonders if there's been a moment in the last decade where he felt this at ease.

     You sigh at his question, quiet and fond. "There was an engagement," you say after a moment, chewing on your lower lip, "and a break-up. Two years ago, now. Amicable, but..."

     "But it still feels like you lost something." Buck knows that feeling intimately. It's been a long time since Abby left him, and even though he's over her, the memory of it still stings sometimes.

     You nod. "Yeah. One minute you're going to marry someone, and then you're not. Doesn't really matter why not, in the end. Still hurt a little. Not anymore."

     "No?"

     You smile at him. "No."

     Buck isn't sure how much time passes, how long you both remain huddled in that dark corner as the world continues to move around you. The DJ keeps churning out a series of early-2000s hits that he's fairly sure is just one of those throwback Spotify playlists, and you both make jokes when the Class President gets on stage to give a cheesy speech, and he tells you all about the ill-advised escapades of his early-twenties.

     Crashing his bike, dropping out of college. He glosses over the unsavoury parts of his youth, but the way your eyes soften, he knows he isn't fooling you. He never could, not when it mattered. Stories about Peru have you in stitches, and a particularly messy tale about his time as a ranch hand makes you laugh so hard, half a glass of punch ends up your nose.

     He missed that. Making you laugh.

     Warmth unfurls in his chest when he looks at you. It's the kind of familiarity people associate with coming home, except it was dread he felt stepping off the plane, and uncomfortable memories prickled at him as he drove through the streets of his hometown.

     You? You've always been that for him. Warm. Safe. Home.

     "You've heard all about my wild twenties. What about you?" he wonders, as the pair of you drift back to the refreshments table, seeking snacks that don't taste like cardboard.

     (Buck manages to find a bowl of chips that aren't completely stale, so he'll call that a success.)

     "Oh, the usual," you shrug as you refill your glass. "Finished college, got a job and an apartment and a cat and a fiancé. Lost the fiancé, got another cat." You take a moment to flash him your lock screen, a picture of two calico cats curled up on your couch. "Think I  traded up there, huh? Anyway, got a new job and moved out West about a year ago."

     "Oh, really? Where'd you go?"

     "California, actually. I'm in the History department at Berkeley."

     He blinks at you once, twice. Something inside his chest goes zing. "I'm in LA!"

     "Well maybe I'll have to come down and play tourist for you sometime."

     There's a coy tilt to your mouth that he's seen before, and something pleasant skitters down his spine. Your cheeks turn even rosier, and Buck suspects the spiked punch is only partly responsible.

     "Maybe you will," he says.

     His number hasn't changed since he left Pennsylvania, and maybe that's another sign, too. The shitty music starts to wind down, and his old classmates start to stagger out into the parking lot, and when you kiss his cheek and promise to get in touch, he wonders if there's such a thing as second chances.

     It isn't the same. He isn't seventeen and you're different people now. This isn't making out under the bleachers at a football game or skipping class to take a ride on his motorcycle. You're adults now, all grown up with a whole host of other problems, and it isn't the same. It isn't.

     Except.

     The next day, Buck's phone buzzes right before he boards the flight to Los Angeles. The number isn't familiar, but when he opens the message, he cannot fight the grin that creeps onto his face.

     Hope you get home safe. I'd hate to have to find a new tour guide x

     It's not the same, because he isn't in high school anymore and neither are you. But as he switches his phone to flight mode and tucks it back into his pocket, a giddy feeling sweeping through his chest, he can't help thinking that maybe this could be better.

[brooooswriting]

Hi. I really love your writing. I would like to request a natasha x female reader shot. They have been dating for a long time, which started only two months after y/n joins the team. They are a very happy couple. One day, y/n had a mission with clint and he ended up getting injured. Natasha blames y/n as he is her best friend and they met long before nat started dating y/n. Even when y/n said that she did try to protect clint, nat did not believe her. They had a huge argument and nat says something that hurts y/n. After the fight, y/n try to patch up her relationship with natasha. Even when nat keeps hurting and ignoring y/n, she never gives up. Two weeks after the fight, they have a mission together with Yelena. Nat stays on the quinjet and yelena and y/n enter the base. They were then ambushed. Even though y/n is already injured, she just thinks about keeping yelena safe as she is afraid that nat will get even more angry at her if yelena is injured. Yelena get out unscathed but y/n is seriously injured. Before she pass out on the quinjet, she says " i hope you are no longer angry at me. i saved your sister." at natasha. Either y/n survives or not i will leave that up to you. Please keep it long and as angsty as possible. Sorry for the long request. I just really love your story. Happy writing.

Your fault

Natasha Romanoff x reader (romantic), Maria hill x reader (platonic), avengers x reader (platonic)

Becoming a part of the avengers was the best thing that has ever happened to you. You finally felt like you did something for the society, you used your time right and you met some of the greatest people ever. Including Natasha, the love of your life. Only two months after joining she asked you out and the rest has been history. That was now three years ago and you two were the happiest and best couple anybody knew, you were communicative and understanding. Every argument you ever had was solved in a matter of hours.

Until one particular mission.

You were out with Clint and everything went wrong. Every. Damn. Thing. It started with some wrong coordinates from a newbie you’d definitely get fired once you were out of this. You ended up somewhere completely different, making you way later than you were supposed to be.

But at that time, you and Clint thought it was going to be okay. After all the building was supposed to be empty, two to three agents at max. So you went inside with barely any equipment or weapons. The only thing you were supposed to do was clear the hardware, something the two of you had done countless times. Out of nowhere a couple of dozen agents started to appear, forming around you. It was a hard fight and you both barely got out, once you got out of the building you saw an agent aim at Clint. You immediately tried to push him away into safety, or at least out id the bullets way, but he did the same to you and in that moment he was stronger than you.

Three shots later, Clint was bleeding and slowly loosing consciousness making you carry most of him back to the jet. “You can’t die buddy. Cmon you got family” you mumbled over and over as you put the compounds coordinates into the jet before running back to put pressure on to his wounds. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. Alarms Cho, Bruce and Tony. Clint needs to go into the OR immediately” Clint was shifting in and out of consciousness. “You shouldn’t have jumped in the way you idiot” you grumbled as tears formed in your eyes.

Twenty minutes later you arrived. Clint was unconscious and the moment the jet touched the ground doctors streamed in and got Clint out. One doctor and Maria hill walking towards you, you had some scratches, some bruises and one deeper wound on your stomach but nothing against Clint. You saw Nat running alongside Clint, it hurt you a little that she didn’t even look for you but you got it. She knew him for such a long time and after all he was the one who saved her. “Are you alright?” Maria asked as she saw the blood seeping through your uniform.

“Yeah, I’m good” you told her with a smile that was way less convincing once you stood up and nearly fell over. The S.H.I.E.L.D agent was quick to catch you with her arms around your waist and helped you into the hospital wing of the compound.

“What the hell y/n” Natasha said as she stormed towards you, an angry look on her face as Maria helped you sit down on a stretcher. Before you could even open your mouth she started to scream. “How could you let this happen?! He has a family and now he’s bleeding out in the OR” she was heaving and her eyes were squinting at you.

“I’m sorry Nat, he-“ she didn’t even let you finish before she started to scream at you again. Alerting everyone in the wing.

“You’re sorry? Do you think that is going to fix anything? No, it isn’t! You should have done something! You should have thought this through. But no, of course you didn’t. Why didn’t you do anything? Why weren’t you more cautious?”

“I tried to do something, I tried to push him away but he did the same to me Nat. Do you think I wanted this? Don’t you think I know that he has a family?” You asked, your voice still calm as you didn’t wanna fight. You were scared for Clint and everything hurt, the last thing you needed was Natasha screaming at you and giving you the fault for things that you already knew were your fault.

“You tried? You tried to push him away? How can you fail at something so easy?! God, you’re useless. He has people that love him and value him, not like you. It should have been you y/n, you should be laying in that OR fighting for your life. Because your death wouldn’t even impact half as many people as his does. You don’t deserve to sit here with a small wound crying, you should be in there dy-“ before she could finish Maria jumped in, all of the other avengers standing around you too shocked about what just happened.

“That’s enough Agent. Leave the room right now” she ordered making the redhead scoff but leave, everybody else still standing around your bed. You tried to keep your tears in as best as possible as you didn’t want the team to see you cry. “Everybody out, right now” nobody dared to argue with her so they quickly left the room, Wanda shooting you a soothing smile.

The moment the room was empty you cried into Maria’s arms. “Do you wanna sleep over tonight?” She asked carefully, understanding if you didn’t wanna see Natasha tonight. But before you could answer one doctor spoke up.

“She’s sleeping here tonight. It seems like hydra experimented with some substances that makes them heal slower and it makes everything more painful, so we wanna keep an eye on that” he explained before leaving.

“Do you want me to stay?”

“No, it’s alright. I guess you got a lot of paper work to do now” she chuckled slightly at you. “But for real, it’s okay. It’s just one night but thank you” not long after she left, but not before bringing you a book and some tea.

Three hours later Tony came into your room, shawarma in his hand and your phone and headphones. “I thought you could use something to eat and an update about Clint. Turns out the bullets were infused with something that thins out his blood which is why he lost consciousness so quickly, but the bullets hit nothing vital. We could get the bullets out and stitch him up without any problems. He’s connected to some blood and should be up in an hour” he explained as he gave you the food, a small smile on his lips.

“Thanks tons, but I’m not hungry and I’m happy to hear that Clint is alright. When he’s awake can you tell him that I am deeply sorry?” You asked, looking at your hands instead of Tony. There was a moment of silence, and you knew he was contemplating wether to say something or not but he decided against it and only gave you an okay before leaving.

Two hours later the door opened again and Wanda entered. While you were happy to see the witch you had hoped that it would be Natasha. “Hey” she mumbled as she sat on the chair next to your bed, two teas in her hand and a book under her arm.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” You asked as you took the tea and thanked her.

“Well, everybody is camping next to Clint’s bed and I could hear your thoughts scream. So I thought you could use the company” she explained, placing a hand on yours in a comforting manner.

There was a moment of silence after she told you that Clint was doing well. “What Natasha said was out of line y/n, you don’t deserve that and there are a lot of people who would have missed you” she said as she looked up from her book.

“She was right, he has family and so many people that love him. The only person that loves me, or well loved, just told me that she actually doesn’t. But I promise I tried to protect him Wanda. I really did” the witch took your hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

“I know y/n, the memory keeps replaying in your head and it is so loud that I can’t blend it out. But you know, when Pietro died sacrificing himself for Clint and that child I was devastated and so mad at Clint. It took me a while to realize that there was nothing that Clint could have done to stop him, and that I had no reason to be mad at him. But it took me some time you know?” Her voice was so soothing that nearly all the weight of the terrible day fell off of you.

The next day you were finally let out of the hospital but you weren’t really allowed to do anything. After a long discussion with the doc you could finally convince him to keep quiet about your condition, if he would talk about it it would just steer up certain arguments again.

The first thing you did was visit Clint, or rather you tried to but before you could Natasha appeared in front of the door. “Where do you think you’re going?” She asked in her Black widow voice, not her normal soft voice that she had with you.

“In there, I wanna talk to Clint. See how he’s doing you know, say how sorry I am for what happened” you explained, fiddling with your fingers.

“You’re not going anywhere near him. You don’t deserve to say that you’re sorry. You don’t get the relieve of having the opportunity to apologize” she hissed making you take a step back.

“Nat, come on. Can we talk about this?” Your voice was small and timid but she didn’t care. She turned and walked away as if you were nothing to her, as if you hadn’t been in a relationship for over three years.

You noticed how tired she looked so you decided to make her and Clint some coffee, hoping that that would lift her spirit. So you made each coffee to their liking before putting it on to a tray with a small note that read ‘you looked tired. Hope it makes you feel better. Love, your girlfriend’. You put it down in front of Clint’s room and knocked before turning and walking away. Hoping that you were giving her the space she needed.

When Natasha opened the door she couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she saw the tray, immediately knowing who had left it there. She still picked it up and carried it inside, both her and Clint could use the coffee. “Oh, that looks like y/n coffee. How is she holding up?” He asked as he grabbed one of them weakly, a small smile on his face at the thought of a hurt you still making them coffee.

“She’s good” Natasha only mumbled as she stared into the mug, avoiding eye contact with her best friend.

“What is going on between you two?” He asked her but she was quick to brush him off. It was suspicious and he was 95% sure that she did something stupid but he was too weak and too tired to solve it right there right now, especially if she didn’t wanna talk about it.

Later that day you sat in your shared bedroom with Natasha, staring at the door hoping that she’d come but no luck. When it was around 11:45 p.m. you decided to go to bed, the pain killers were slowly wearing off and everything started to hurt again, so you laid in bed and hoped for her to come and hold you.

She did come, at around 1 a.m. but she laid as far from you as she could. She made a point of not touching you as if you were contagious. It broke your heart even more but you just pretended to be asleep.

The next morning you woke up before her to bring her breakfast in bed which turned out to be a very stupid idea. When you arrived with the breakfast on a tray the redhead was already awake checking her phone. “Hi, I made you breakfast” you mumbled as you put the tray down on her nightstand.

“No thank you” was the only answer you got, she didn’t even look up.

“But-“

“Do you think that everything is just forgotten? Or that some lousy breakfast is going to undo everything?! The only reason I came back here yesterday is because Hill got my old room and Clint told me to go sleep in a real bed” she hissed making your eyes tear again.

“I’m sorry, I’ll leave” you told her as you grabbed the tray and disappeared into Hills room. The brunette sat on her table working on some paperwork when you came in. “Want some breakfast?” You asked her with a small smile.

“Oh, thank y- what happened hun?” She asked when she saw your red eyes, she had been your first friend here, she was the person who recruited you.

“It’s alright, can I just lay here for a bit and watch you work?” You asked carefully and immediately received a nod, so you settled into her bed and watched as she tipped and scribbled and did whatever she had to do.

The next days were exactly the same, you tried to fix whatever you and Natasha had while she destroyed all your attempts. You cooked for her? She threw it away in front of your eyes. You bought her something? She gave it away. You entered a room? She left. You tried to talk to Clint? She wouldn’t let you. You tried to talk to her? She’d say something rude. You could deal with the being rude but what really broke you was the ignoring and neglecting you, it was as if you hadn’t spend three years together.

The whole team could see that it broke you, Hill and fury too. It got to the point where you were sleeping at either Maria’s or Wanda’s, too scared of Natasha’s anger to sleep next to her. Everybody tried to keep Clint out of it as he still wasn’t as fit as he was supposed to be but after 12 days of this they just couldn’t anymore so Steve decided to talk to him and explain the situation.

“She’s been ignoring her for 12 days because I got hurt?” Steve nodded at him, his lips pressed into a thin line. “But she tried to save me, I just refused to let her. Didn’t she say that?” Clint asked and Steve sighed explaining that you tried to but Natasha didn’t leave you a chance.

That was the same day that fury informed you if your mission. You, Yelena and Natasha, and while you normally loved missions like that this one was a complete horror. “Fury, please. Send anybody else” you begged him but he refused, nobody had the skill set you three had. It got even worse when he explained that you and Yelena had to go inside while Natasha stayed in the Clint jet.

The ride to the location was terrible, Yelena was on a vacation with Kate and didn’t know what happened which was why she was very confused why Nat didn’t talk to you. You sat at the far end of the jet with your headphones on, painkillers in your hand for when you were going down. Natasha flying the jet, having a light conversation with her sister unless she asked about you.

“What happened?” She asked as she saw your eyes closed and head leaning against the wall. It was weird to see you like this, normally you were upfront, singing with them and laughing.

“She nearly killed Clint, she’s… just forget it. We are there in 2, wake her up” with that Yelena made her way towards you, carefully shaking your shoulder.

“2 minutes then we arrive” you nodded and got everything, already putting your parachute on your bag and getting a water for the painkillers.

“Alright we are here. Remember, get inside unnoticed, there shouldn’t be anyone really, get the hardware and then outside again. Is that clear?” You and Yelena nodded as you opened the bottle.

“Don’t kill my sister” was the last thing Nat said to you before turning to her sister. You were quick to take the painkillers and put the bottle away, only Yelena noticing it. You already knew that the fall was going to hurt your stomach.

When Yelena gave you the go the two of you jumped, carefully landing a couple of feet away from the facility. “What did you swallow before we jumped?” She asked forgetting to switch to a channel where the redhead couldn’t listen. You closed your eyes with a sigh before shaking your head at her and pointing towards the jet making her mouth a sorry as you walked towards the building.

“What?! What did you swallow y/l/n?!” Natasha kept on nagging until you finally snapped.

“I took some painkillers alright?!” After that you just tuned her out, she was distracting you and that was the last thing you needed. “You keep watching, I get the hardware alright?” You asked Yelena who stood at the door and gave you a nod as you started. “Nearly done” you mumbled after a minute, wanting to leave as soon as possible.

Suddenly there was an explosion in the room next door making you jump. You quickly got everything you needed before pulling Yelena towards the exit. Your way was suddenly interrupted by an agent pointing a gun at you. “Natasha, we are being ambushed” Yelena said into her intercom while you tried to figure out a way out. You quickly shot the agent before pushing Yelena into a room on your left side.

“Get into the vents” you told her, already getting rid of the covering. “You will follow that vent until you get to the roof. We will meet up there alright? The moment Nat is there you get onto that damn jet” you helped her up, while she protested of course. “See ya” you told her as you pushed the cover back up and exited the room, Yelena seeing how you were immediately circled by agents. In the minute she watched she saw you nearly getting shot two times and some blood forming on your lower abdomen.

She stood on the roof for five minutes before Natasha arrived but she refused to go up, she needed to see you alive. “Yelena Belova! Get up here right now” her sister screamed into the intercom but she refused.

“Not until she’s here, she was bleeding” the blonde said shortly before the door to the roof opened, a bloody you exiting.

“What the… Belova, get up there right now” you screamed over the distance but she shook her head.

“No! You’ll need help up, so come on” she was right, you could barely move, your hands were pressing against your lower abdomen as your stitches ripped open and getting up that ladder was going to be a fight but you couldn’t care less right now.

Suddenly you became suspicious, it was too empty and quiet. So you looked around, focusing on every detail until you saw it; two snipers, their guns showing your and Yelenas way. “Fuck, move Yelena” you screamed but she was too focused on you to notice so you took of. You pushed her out of the way and made her stumble, she held onto the ladder giving you the opportunity to completely save her. So before the bullets his you you called out to the redhead. “Pull up Natasha”

And she did with Yelena holding onto the ladder. The blonde could see the two bullets penetrating you, you falling to the ground and suddenly agents storming on to the roof. There was a puddle of blood forming around you. “I hope you’re no longer angry at me Natasha. I saved your sister” you weakly mumbled into the intercom before it went silent.

“What are we gonna do Nat?” Yelena panicked as she climbed up the ladder. Her sister immediately standing up and checking her over.

“Are you alright?! Do you have any wounds?” She asked her, tears pooling in her eyes.

“No, the moment it got dangerous y/n pushed me into a vent and made me go to safety. Fuck, I shouldn’t have let her do that. We gotta get her Natasha” the redhead shook her head, the tears now streaming down her face.

“It’s my fault. Not yours. I’ll figure something out” she mumbled as she kept checking Yelena for injuries.

“No, you’re gonna come back here and we will figure something out together Agents” Fury’s voice sounded over the coms making Yelena flinch for a second.

“No, we can’t leave her here” yelenas protest was immediately shut down by her sister and fury. There was nothing she could do for you at the moment.

“What happened?” She suddenly asked after a longer while of silence, turning towards Natasha.

“What?”

“You heard me. What happened during my vacation? You ignore your own girlfriend, you neglect her, you leave her to die. So I’m asking you again, what happened?”

“She nearly killed Barton”

“What?! I saw him today, he was hurt but fine Natasha. What are you talking about?”

“They were on a mission and she came back slightly hurt while he nearly died in the OR, because she couldn’t protect him. He has family Yelena” Natasha told her, a harsh glare on her face.

“So you are leaving her to die because she couldn’t protect a grown man who is doing that job longer than she does?! Unbelievable” we’re Yelenas last words before they touched ground, she was immediately of the jet.

“Romanoff. Clint needs you in the hospital wing” Steve said, making the redhead run. She nearly crashed into dozen of people, ignored everyone who tried to talk to her and finally crashed through the door.

“Finally. Took you long enough” Clint said as he sat on a chair in his hospital room, book discarded on to the table.

“What the hell?! You are fine. I thought you were dying” she said accusingly, plopping down on the chair in front of him, her breath slightly heaving.

“No, but I’m gonna be the reason you’re dying soon if you don’t get your shit together” he was dead serious making Natasha furrow her brows when she looked at him.

“What do you mean with that?” Her tone was slightly shocked.

“I mean that you have been ignoring your girlfriend for like what? 2 weeks? Because I got hurt? How stupid can you be? It wasn’t her fault Nat, she did what she could but I didn’t let her. So you’re gonna get your ass up and into your room and you’re gonna apologize to that girl until she’s not mad at you anymore. Because god forbid you two break up, my kids really like her” he finished his monologue and just stared at her. “Oh no, what are you not telling me?” He asked once he realized that something was wrong.

“We lost y/n, her and Yelena were ambushed. She did everything she could to get Yelena out unharmed, she was shot and we had to leave her” now that the adrenaline was going down she realized what just happened. Or rather realized what has been happening over the last two weeks.

“Romanoff. Burton. We need a plan to rescue y/l/n” Tony said as he and the team entered. “We have only hours until we loose the last trade of her” he added as they sat down around the table.

“I’m sorry, are you speaking about y/n y/l/n, the one who came here with a lower abdomen wound?” The doctor who has been in Clint’s room spoke up making everybody turn to him. Maria nodding her head.

“She wasn’t allowed to go on a mission, her wound hasn’t even nearly healed. The substance she came into contact with at the mission slowed her healing process immensely” he explained before going away, leaving the team to do their stuff.

“Why didn’t you know that Natasha?” Bucky asked, overwhelmed with the situation.

“Because she decided to ignore y/n because of a mistake that wasn’t even really hers” Wanda said, glaring at the redhead. Suddenly a whole argument started to develop, until Bucky, Yelena, Wanda and Maria just stood up.

“Where are you three going?” Sam asked breaking the argument.

“We are gonna go find y/n” one of them answered.

“Wait, I’m coming along” Natasha said as she also jumped up. Her last words to you couldn’t be “don’t kill my sister”. She was met with a scoff from one of the girls but still decided to follow. The rest stayed and tried to work out a plan.

Two hours later the five arrived at the station, something in these two hours happened to Nat. They didn’t know what it was but it was definitely needed for the mission, she was laser focused and a war machine. Nobody hit as many targets as she did, she was cruel as if she really cared about you again.

“We will go different ways, hoping that we can find her faster. Yelena, wanda you stay down here, Bucky Natasha and I will go through the rooms upstairs. Say something the moment you got her, we wanna get out of here as fast as we can” the brunette commanded before walking her team up the stairs.

“Bucky, left side. Natasha, around the corner. I will take the right side” and they did, the redhead disappeared behind a corner. Kicking down each door, praying that you’re behind it, sitting on a chair with a small smile, just waiting for them to save you. But she was so so wrong when she heard Bucky gasp though the intercoms.

“I got here, third room left side” he said alerting you all. In a matter of seconds Natasha sprinted past him to kneel next to your lifeless body. She fell to her knees, her hand hovering over you unsure of touching you.

Yelena came sprinting inside too, falling to your other side. Her hands immediately went to check your pulse, “there’s none” she mumbled making everybody stop in their tracks. Suddenly Natasha’s body rocked in sobs, Bucky stared straight ahead, Yelena let her tears fall silently, Wanda tried to feel a pulse herself while Maria left the room to cry.

After a minute she came back inside. “Bucky, can you pick her up and carry her to the jet? We can’t leave her here, she deserves a real funeral” the brunet said.

“I’ll do it” the redhead mumbled and picked you up, she had already wrapped the jacket she took with her around your abdomen. Even if you were already dead. She pressed you tightly to herself, breathing in your scent what would be the last time. She couldn’t believe it, her last words to you were “don’t kill my sister” and that was the reason why you died.

Everybody sat in the jet, there was an absolute silence as Yelena flew them all back down. Your corpse laying on the bed not far. “She can’t be dead, I can still feel her. She just can’t be” Wanda mumbled as she looked at your body, her tears streaming down her face.

The whole compound was devastated when the jet landed, you were brought into the hospital wing again where they classified you as dead. “I’m sorry but there is nothing I can do for her. She’s dead” the doctor told the team after checking you and closing your abdomen wound. “If you want to we can already order a coffin and get somebody to plan the funeral” he added with a ‘comforting’ smile.

“No, she can’t be dead. On the jet Wanda said that she can still feel her so that means that she can’t be dead” Natasha cried out as she watched your bloody body. “She can’t be. This can’t be the last thing she heard from me and the last thing she remembered from me. She can’t be dead” it broke all their hearts to watch her cry like that, they had never seen her cry. Some tears? Yeah but full on crying? Never.

Clint and Steve tried to calm her down but she only pushed them away, her body hunched over yours. “Let’s give her some times. She needs more time to say goodbye to her than we do” Tony said and gathered everyone out of the room, except the redhead.

“I’m so sorry love. I was so terrified of having to tell Laura that Clint died that I just, I fucked up and I didn’t realize. You can’t believe how much I hate myself and I hate myself even more when I think about the fact that I can never tell you how much I love you and how sorry I am” she whispered as she cleaned your arms with a sponge. “Even though I know that you’d never forgive me, I really wish you were here right now. Screaming at me for being an idiot” Tony stood at the door and watched her talk to you.

“I can’t believe I didn’t appreciate the last time I saw your eyes” she cried into your shoulder, one arm carefully wrapped around your stomach as if she could hurt you. Tony decided to leave the two of you a bit longer, even though she treated you like shit he couldn’t imagine how much it must hurt her to never be able to fix it.

“We should give her an hour more” he said as he came back to the others, everybody was looking for comfort in each other. Even Fury coming back from wherever he was to say his last goodbye to you. Wanda struggled the most though, something was just not right.

“If she’s dead, why can I still feel her?” She cried out, everybody looking at the ground. Not knowing how to answer her.

“Let’s go, we have to say our goodbyes” Fury said and stood up to lead the group to your hospital room. By now Natasha fell asleep in the position, making even Fury’s eyes water.

“Wait, Natasha” Tony called out, carefully waking the redhead up. “Did you wrap her arm around you?” He asked when he noticed your position changed. She shook her head not realizing what he meant. “Get up Nat, Bruce give me the stethoscope” the spy jumped up and Bruce quickly gave him the stethoscope. “Wait- I can hear something” he told them once he pushed it to your chest.

“Y/n?” Natasha called out as she pushed past Bruce back to your side. “Her hands are warmer” she realized as she grabbed your hand again.

“Let me try something” Wanda mumbled, her hand glowing red in front of your forehead. “I can feel her stronger now, she’s dreaming” a small content smile build on Wanda’s face, the first one since you went on that mission.

With small help from Wanda you woke up, your eyes fluttering as your face was filled with color and your heartbeat strengthened. “Yelena?” Was the first thing you got out shocking everybody. They were guessing that you’d call for Nat or Maria since she’s your best friend but Yelena? Sure, you were friends but still.

“Yeah?” She asked as she pushed her way through to you, pushing past sobbing Maria and Natasha. Her hand carefully found yours as your eyes looked into hers.

“You alright right?” You asked a small smile on your lips as you saw her smile and shake her head.

“Yes, I am. Thanks to you” both of you chuckled before Maria and Wanda threw themselves at you, hugging you closely just to hear you breath and feel your heartbeat.

“What happened?” Steve asked into the room, the question was directed towards you but also towards Tony. You were dead, no questions asked.

“They gave me a shot, muttering something about me dying slowly and painfully. It definitely was both of that, except for the fact that I didn’t really die I guess” you explained, still confused about… well everything.

“I’ll send the scans and blood work to my lab. Bruce, let’s go” Tony said before hugging you quickly. He hoped to figure out what happened to you.

Tony seemed to have set an example as everybody else hugged you before ‘giving you some time’ which was meant to be a code for ‘talk to Romanoff’. She kept back while everyone was there, silently crying in the corner of the room. She didn’t know what to say to you, there was nothing she could say that would make her behavior right. Never.

Once everybody was out you started to slightly shake and spoke up. “It hurts Nat, it hurts so bad” you mumbled as you tried to hug yourself to give some comfort.

“I’m sorry, give me a sec I’ll hook you up on an IV and some painkiller” Natasha told you and quickly worked around you, carefully inserting the needle into your arm. “There, it should get better now” she said, one hand instinctively coming to your cheek.

“We should probably talk about what happened huh?” You said, your body still shaking but the pain going down. Nat nodded timidly unsure of what to say and where to start.

“I- I am so so so sorry for what I said, it was completely out of line. And don’t even let me get started about my behavior. I was so scared of having to tell Laura that Clint died that I just snapped, which was stupid because everything I said was so so wrong. Fury, Nick Fury, leader of S.H.I.E.L.D came here today because you died, you know what kind of honor that is? There are so so many people who would have missed you if you were dead. Including me, I deserved to lay in that OR dying for what I said, not you. You had done everything you could” she told you, her eyes red from the constant crying and her voice small and unsteady, which was new for her.

“You hurt me so bad that I thought I deserved to die Natasha” was the only thing you said, you could see her flinch at the usage of her name. You almost felt sorry but in the end was she the one who has started it.

“I know, and I hate myself for it. And I would get If you wouldn’t wanna give me a second chance but if you, by any means, feel like giving me the opportunity to fix what I destroyed I’d happily take it and I wouldn’t disappoint you”

You thought for a moment but the fact that you were here, still alive after you were dead makes you believe that maybe this was your guys second chance. “I’m not saying that it’s okay, because it definitely isn’t but I appreciate that you apologized and you have the opportunity to make it right” you told her, proud of yourself for standing up for yourself and not just backing down.

“Thank you” she mumbled over and over again as she pressed kisses all over your faces causing a giggle to erupt from you.

Who knows if Natasha can really completely fix what she broke but she’d try for the rest of her life if that’s what it took for you to forgive her.

A/n: not the biggest fan of this but I hope you like it anon :)

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡ OT8 Stray Kids Showing You They Love You ♡

♡ Just some ot8!stray kids showing their chubby!fem!gf how much they love her and what some of those things might be.

♡ The biggest of thank yous to @tryingtolivelifeblog for requesting this. It's such an adorable idea. I just love it to pieces and hope you do too!

♡ Genre: fluff

♡ Word Count: 1.4k-ish

♡ Bang Chan ♡

It isn’t unusual for your boyfriend to be up on his laptop all night, headphones in, chipping away at the next track for his group. That’s what you’ve assumed has been happening these past few weeks but you couldn’t be more wrong. He has been working on a song but it’s for you and only you. It’s much softer than what he’s usually known for with instrumentals that feel like a warm blanket on a cold night. You can feel his vulnerability in every word he sings. So much that you can’t even question if he really means it when he says that your gentle heart makes him fall for you more and more each day. Or that the sweetness of your voice brings calm to the chaos in his brain. He dedicates an entire verse to the brightness of your smile and how your laughter’s his favorite sound. By the end of it you’re trying not to cry which is fine because he is too.

♡ Changbin ♡

You have no clue how much self control it took for Changbin not to buy out the entire Build-A-Bear store getting those cute little teddy bears that say phrases when you hug them. It would’ve been easy for him to send someone else to get them for him but he does it himself instead, pretending to be at the gym while he picks out the perfect dozen for you. Once everything’s perfect he leaves them around the apartment for you to find with notes that say “Hug Me”. When you do you hear your favorite voice telling you that your eyes are so beautiful and brimming with love that he could stare back into them all day. He loves how you see him, really see him, for who he is and he never has to hide behind a mask with you. You’re his #1 cheerleader, always reminding him he’s good enough when he doubts himself. There isn’t a safer place in the world for than with you and he'll spend the rest of his life doing everything in his power to be the same for you.

♡ Hannie ♡

With your boyfriend’s hectic schedule, it’s important to him that he makes time to have special moments just for the two of you. This includes game nights which he takes very seriously, going all out to make sure the atmosphere’s ultra romantic and you have all of your favorite snacks. When you settle in for your latest game night you’re clueless when he presents you with an already built tower of blocks with hearts on the exterior of each piece. As the game begins you realize that each block you pull out has a reason he loves you handwritten on it. All 54 blocks. His hand cramped up 1,000 times doing it but it was worth it for you to know that spending an eternity cuddled up to your soft body would be the sweetest fate imaginable. That he never dreams better than when you’re there beside him, fingers running through his hair, singing him to sleep. That, even though it hurts sometimes, you make him miss you more than he has anyone else.

♡ Hyunjin ♡

Hyunjin’s never told you this before but he knew that you were the one since the day you first met. There was simply no way he was going to let someone as special as you get away. In the year since then he’s been drawing pictures of you in his sketchbook during moments when he’s feeling particularly sentimental. You’re always too respectful of his artistic process to peek at his work unless he asks so you don’t know until he shows you that he has such gorgeously vivid drawings of you making breakfast for him in the wee hours of the morning before he has to catch a flight. A few pages in there’s another of you playing with kids at the park when they needed one more person for a game. The last page is you sitting on the balcony of your hotel room, waiting to comfort him after an appearance he’d been dreading. The way you’re so thoughtful, lovely, and kind live in those moments he never wants to forget. 

♡ Felix ♡

“Felix, I think there’s…paper in this cupcake?” When Felix surprises you with cupcakes at work and sees you bite into the first one it dawns on him that he probably should’ve considered that maybe cupcakes don’t work exactly like fortune cookies do. But his heart was in the right place and you can’t bring yourself to care about biting into a little paper when you see what he’s written on them. He watches with the widest smile on that freckled face as you read how much being with you keeps him grounded in a life that can leave his head spinning sometimes. It means everything to him that his fame doesn’t make you treat him differently. You dance with him beneath the stars and kiss him in the rain because you love the Felix that’s just a silly kid from Australia and not the one on the magazine covers. You make him feel fearless because he knows even if he shoots for the stars and misses you’re here to catch him. 

♡ Lino ♡

Some people have this picture in their head of your boyfriend as this grumpy black cat who doesn’t quite know how to show affection but you know better than anyone that isn’t true. In reality you couldn’t imagine finding a guy more loving and thoughtful than Minho. What other guy would surprise you with a hike through a picturesque forest, hiding the cutest lock boxes at special landmarks along the way that hold his favorite pictures of the two of you together? A sentiment that particularly tugs at your heartstrings because you know he isn’t a picture guy but for you he is and always will be. On the back of each picture he writes something he loved about you at that moment. The warmth of your hand as he held it at the cat cafe in Tokyo or the scent of your perfume as you cuddled up to him on a neverending train ride that exhausted both of you. It’s the small things like the way you never hesitate to join him in making funny faces in front of the camera that make love you like he does.  

♡ Innie ♡

I.N could give you a bouquet of flowers that say “I love you” and call it a day. He knows you’d still treat it like he gifted you all of the diamonds in the world. But he wants to do more than that. Instead of giving you a bouquet all at once, he gives you a flower for each day of the week and, in place of a real flower, he gives you a glass rose that shimmers marvelously in the sunlight. Engraved on the side of each rose is something he finds special about you. Like the patience that you have with him while he figures out who he is in the world. You never pressure him to become anything or stay the way he was. Whoever he becomes he knows it’ll always be enough for you. Your kisses are like magic, cheering him up when nothing else can. And that counts for all kisses. If it’s on the lips, the neck, the forehead, wherever. They spark a joy inside of him that he isn’t quite sure any amount of words or roses could do justice to but he hopes this comes close. 

♡ Seungmin ♡

No one ever thought the day would come where Kim Seungmin got all mushy over a girl. Yet, here he is, head over heels in love with you, and he dares anyone to say something about it. Not that anyone would, it’s a well known fact now that you mean a lot to him. So much that wherever he is in the world he makes sure to bring you back something that reminds him of you. It’s left you with a collection of things from more places than you’ve actually visited. There’s the goddess carved in polished wood, nestled in the arches of a crescent moon with her curves on full display. When he saw it he joked how lucky he was to have one of his own at home, only prettier. Then there’s the music box that plays a song neither of you have ever heard before. Still, it reminds him of your melodic voice whispering to him between the sheets on rainy Sunday mornings. There was no way he could leave the shop without it. He knows one day you’ll run out of room for wind chimes that sway as gracefully your body when you dance, even if you don’t think so, but that’s okay. He’ll just buy you more room.

[whereianonymouslypostfics]

Art Crawl

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Word count: ~1.8k

Summary: More Little Nat milestones

A/N: A two in one

Warnings: fluff, cuteness, minor angst, cursing

“Mama look!” 

It’s Sunday night and your family is all gathered for dinner at your place. It’s as hectic as you expected with 7 adults, three dogs, and a toddler in attendance. You’re sure that Fletcher’s around somewhere but you haven’t seen her, so you don’t bother to include her. She’ll probably make an appearance at some point, but for now you’re focused on the full living room and kitchen as you help Natasha finish up dinner.

You glance over your shoulder at Natalya who’s still sitting in the living room with her Mama and Bucky. She’s been feely artsy lately, and both you and Wanda had been gifted many, many pictures of varying colors and shapes. You have over a dozen, and Wanda’s already begun to figure out how to hang them all up around the house. 

You can’t tell what your four-year old is drawing from here, but you notice that both Wanda and Bucky are smiling widely at the likely incomprehensible picture. It’s mostly your daughter’s adorable smile that is making them happy anyway.

“She’s so cute.” 

You can’t help but agree with this and you nod as you hand a serving dish to Nat for the mashed potatoes that you’d convinced Yelena to not add cheese to.

“She really is. I’ll have to show you the picture that she drew of her dogs.” 

You definitely wouldn’t have been able to guess that they were dogs if Natalya hadn’t told you what she was drawing. She’d used a green crayon and it ended up looking like a lot of grass, but as always, Wanda fawned over it and added it to the gallery she was setting up. 

You glance to Steve, Piet, and Yelena who are standing outside drinking or helping grill part of their dinner. The door’s opened so the dogs can come and go, but they mostly play out in the yard while it’s still light out. You turn your attention back to your daughter who’s already great at multi-tasking. She holds her crayon in one fist as she grabs a stray block and hands it to Bucky. With his help, but mostly on her own, she’s been building a tower of blocks that’s even higher than the table she’s sitting at. You’re pretty sure that if Natalya stood up, it would almost be as tall as she is. 

“Uncle Bucky here! Please. Thank you!” 

That’s another thing that Natalya was great at. She’d learned to say please and thank you early on, and she said them both almost always at the same time. You and Wanda figure you can wait a bit to correct her. It was just so cute. 

You and Natasha finish up dinner around the same time that the trio outside does. You smile as you watch them all step into the living room with the dogs on their heels. You are walking out of the kitchen toward the table with the potatoes in hand when Rogue runs to greet Wanda. Unfortunately, he knocks over Natalya’s block tower in the process and sends them scattering with his tail. 

You wince and Wanda opens her mouth to scold Rogue, but both of you fall short when Natalya speaks up.

“Shit!”

You nearly drop the bowl in your hands. You have to hurry to set it down as you stare at your daughter in shock. Everyone else has frozen, except the dogs, with similar looks of disbelief on their face. Unfortunately, Wanda looks horrified and is the first one to react. Pietro eventually looks like he’s about to start laughing, but luckily Wanda speaks up before this happens. 

“Natalya! Don’t say that, please. It’s a bad word.” 

Everyone watches with bated breath as your daughter mulls this over with a frown. She looks to her mama before turning to her drawing that you can see looks like a black hole now that you’re closer. You ignore Boone when he comes up to you. Your full attention is on your wife and daughter as Natalya’s expression turns petulant. 

Uh oh.

“Why?” 

Wanda reminds herself that Natalya likely doesn’t know that what she said was bad. Even if she does, Wanda needs to be careful with how she explains this. She knows her daughter is smart, but even at such a young age, she sees a rebellious streak on the horizon and she doesn’t want to encourage that so soon. She takes a deep breath and resists the urge to look to you for help as she shakes her head with a frown.

“Some words shouldn’t be used. There are better ways to say how we feel.” 

All of the adults who are still paying attention wait for Natalya to agree and move on. Hopefully she’ll continue drawing while the table’s set and then this entire ordeal would be forgotten. At least for the time being. 

However, when Natalya looks to you, you feel as if you’re about to be thrown under the bus. 

“But Mom said it! When she was singing.” 

You want to crawl into a hole, or better yet, fall into the black hole that Little Nat had drawn when your wife turns to you. The look in her eyes tells you that you’re in trouble later, and you try not to shrink back in fear and shame. However, now that you’ve been dragged into the conversation kicking and screaming, you suppose it’s your turn to say something. For the life of you, you can’t remember what Natalya is talking about. You’ve always been very careful to not curse around her. You had been determined not to be the reason why Natalya knew curse words. 

Obviously, you’d failed.

When you manage to find your voice, you have to clear your throat because it’s dry all of a sudden. 

“Singing?” 

You should have left well enough alone. Or at least been more specific because you forgot how toddlers took everything literally. Sometimes it was cute, but right now it was really, really annoying.

Natalya’s face lights up as she starts to sing before returning her attention to her drawing. She probably figures that she’s about to end the conversation instead of make it worse.

“Yeah! The “I’m Like a Virgin” song!”

You feel your face heat up and it’s only a millisecond later that you hear Pietro start to cackle. You turn to him and see that Steve’s covering his mouth while Yelena’s smiling widely. You turn to look over your shoulder when you hear Natasha clear her throat. Great. You’re glad that everyone is entertained. That they’re enjoying your misery. 

Wanda’s eyes widen and you know for sure that you’re in for it because she shoots you such a ‘are you kidding me’ look that you have to turn away. You decide that you have to try to fix this now, or you’ll certainly be sleeping on the couch for the foreseeable future. 

You ignore your friends that have started to scatter and help set the table, to move toward the couch. You watch Bucky escape to the kitchen as you nudge Rogue out of the way before sitting down beside Natalya. You sigh and pointedly don’t look at your wife as you reach out for Little Nat’s shoulder. 

“Your Mama’s right, Nat. I shouldn’t have said it, so you shouldn’t either okay?” 

Natalya glances up from her drawing with a worried look that you hate you may have caused. You risk a glance at Wanda and as expected she’s focused on Natalya. You resist the urge to squeeze your daughter’s shoulder tighter in hopes that this will somehow communicate your desire for her to help you out. You know there’s no avoiding Wanda’s wrath, but hopefully it will be a little less…intense after this. 

“So, I’m not in trouble?” 

Natalya’s shooting you such a hopeful look that you can’t help but shake your head immediately. You quickly realize that you should be more specific because it’s only come back to bite you in the ass once already. 

“As long as you don’t say the word again, no. You’re not in trouble.” 

Natalya smiles at this before nodding and returning to her drawing. She starts to happily hum, luckily not“Like a Virgin”, under her breath, and you finally breathe a sigh of relief. You shoot Wanda an apologetic look that she just frowns at before standing up. 

“Natalya we’ll be right back.” 

You cringe but don’t hesitate to stand up and follow your wife into the den. You walk past your snickering friends and move to sit on the couch as Wanda slides the door shut behind her. You take a deep breath preparing to apologize, but Wanda beats you to it. 

“Seriously, Y/n? What happened to not cursing around Natalya?” 

You shake your head before you groan under your breath. You still can’t remember when you would have done this. Sure, you sang out loud sometimes, but it was never something so inappropriate. Actually, you’ve been singing Disney songs for the most part because they were the safest. Certainly, safer than Madonna.

“I don’t know, Wands. I really don’t remember what she’s talking about.”

Wanda’s frowning as she puts her hands on her hips and you honestly feel like a chastised little kid when she uses her ‘mom’ voice on you. You’re not sure when her stern voice transitioned from mob boss to mom, but you aren’t sure you like it any better. 

“Well obviously you did since she heard you.”

Since there’s not much you can say to make this better, you just stand up and reach out for Wanda. You’re not surprised when she shakes you off and shoots you a glare that pins you in place. You switch tactics and look down at the ground before managing to meet your wife’s annoyed gaze with a contrite one. 

“I’m sorry, Wands. I’m really sorry. I promise I won’t do it again. I won’t ever curse in front of Natalya again.” 

You think about falling to your knees and pleading when Wanda just stares at you, but eventually she sighs in defeat. You still think you’re going to have to apologize again, but when Wanda just shakes her head and turns toward the door you decide that it might just have to happen later. Wanda might just need some time to forgive you. 

“Alright. Well let’s go eat now. Everyone’s waiting on us.” 

You follow Wanda out with your head held high like you didn’t just get scolded. You see that most of your friends are standing around the table talking to Natalya, but you don’t see your brother-in-law. You turn and spot him in the kitchen, and you frown when he smirks at you.

“I made it through the wilderness…” 

You roll your eyes and scoff at Pietro before shooting him a glare.

“Fuck off, Piet.” 

You failed to realize that Wanda had stopped to wait for you until you hear her gasp from behind you. You curse yourself again and close your eyes with an inaudible groan. You’ve really done it now.

“Y/n!” 

Little Nat Adventures

[12woso12]

Dorothy lands in North London - Part 3

Part 2

Hey! Hope you're enjoying the story so far, this chapter is a little darker than the last few but hopefully you'll understand why. It won't be long until more of the Arsenal girls start to make an appearance and relationships start to develop.

TW: Mental health, nightmares, violence

Emily wasn't a night person. She loved mornings, her alarm was set for 7am every single day and you were ashamed to admit the opposite about yourself. You loved the night, it was the only time you ever really felt at peace. There was no one else around and therefore no expectations to uphold, sometimes you would even take a ball to the local park and practice smashing it into the face a hundred dozen times in the dead of night. Of course, you felt a little uneasy going out at night in a completely new country and so you opted out of that idea for your first night in London.

Instead, you sat in Emily's guest room as her snores from next door rattled your shared wall. You'd forgotten that Emily was a loud sleeper, it had only been the one time that you'd shared a room with her on camp and you'd been too tired most of the time to even notice it back then. An episode of Love Island was playing softly on the tv, it was true that the UK version was miles better than the US one but you'd take that to the grave.

With one eye on the re-coupling taking place on screen, you fumble around in your bedsheets for your phone and notice you have several thousand new followers, a few of your future teammates included. It was strange, the news wasn't even official yet, you wouldn't sign the contract until tomorrow and the announcement wouldn't be put out until next week yet you felt as though the whole world knew.

To be fair, your instagram story probably added fuel to the fire. And Arsenal weren't exactly known for being able to keep a secret. You remembered seeing a picture of Emily on their instagram before she'd been officially announced.

Among the Arsenal teammates who'd opted to follow you were Kyra Cooney-Cross and Katie McCabe. You follow them back instantly, excited about making new connections in the footballing world. You wondered if they'd been together while stalking your instagram, you were nervous at what they thought of you. Your instagram was nothing short of wild. There was no organisation to it at all. You had footballing pictures followed by random photographs you'd taken on nights out and occasionally a few random dogs made appearance. Emily said you'd be friends with Kyra and you'd even seen fans online chattering about how well you'd get on, hopefully they were right about the Aussie.

You settle down further into bed, Love Island finally finishing for the night as a tired yawn breaks from your lips. You don't stay awake long enough to find out what's on next.

'Y/n' Someone was shaking you awake.

'Y/n wake up for God's sake'. Your eyes open to a mysterious hooded figure stood in the middle of your dark room. 'I thought i told you to stay awake' It spoke. The voice was unrecognisable but it sent a shiver of familiar fear down your spine. You sit and shuffle as far into your pillows as humanly possible, never once taking your eyes off the figure.

'Who are you?' your voice was weak and distant as though it didn't really belonged to you. The figure chuckled and took a long step forward, closing distance quickly between the two of you.

You can't move.

Your body won't move. No matter how hard you will it to.

'You know who i am' The figure growled 'You've seen this all before. You've been here before y/n'

You can feel yourself sweating, your eyes dart around the room and you suddenly realise you aren't in London anymore.

'I'm back in Kansas' you whisper incredulously 'And that means...dad?' You let out a strangled cry as the figure launches itself at you, hand out stretched and reaching for your throat. It pulls you to the floor and you squirm under its weight. It was your father, you could tell by the way he smelt, by the way his hands still fit perfectly around your neck. He was going to kill you this time, there was no escaping him now.

You were going to die. And your maker would be the one to kill you.

You clawed at his hands on your throat but it was no use, the fight had already been lost. You let out a final cry and the last thing you see before you pass out is the haunting face of the man who was suppose to love you most.

'FUCK' you wake up, properly this time.

It was just a dream. You were safe but it didn't feel like it, the smell of beer on your father's lips had been so real. He had been so real. You fumbled for your bedside lamp switch and let out a sigh of relief as it flickered on to reveal you were still in London. Kansas was a thousand miles away, no one could hurt you here.

You took a shallow breath trying to get your breathing under control, your eyes spotted with black dots and the room felt shaky around you. It wasn't that you weren't use to nightmares, because you were. It was the fact that you hadn't expected it.

You had secretly thought that moving to London and putting even more distance between yourself and the hell you grew up in would be beneficial. When you'd first moved from Kansas to Gotham it had done you a world of wonder and it helped even more so when you'd made the move to Orlando. Your nightmares were less frequent, you didn't feel like throwing up every time you saw a women who resembled your mother or a father angry at his child. Of course you'd still have the occasional bad day where you couldn't get out of bed or force food down your throat, who didn't? But all in all life had been better the further from Kansas you got.

So, why was London any different? It made you uneasy, it made you scared. All alone in a big city, the weight of expectation on your shoulders, the memories of the past fresh in your mind.

You were built for this, you reminded yourself. If your rough upbringing had given you anything, it was a will to fight.

Timidly you reached for your phone to check the time and sighed when it read 2:08am. You had hours until you needed to be up and on your way to the Emirates where you'd finally sign your contract and film your big reveal for the fans. As you unlocked your phone and busied yourself scrolling through instagram, you were astonished to see a notification in your Dms from Kyra.

'What the hell?' you murmured, clicking on the notification hesitantly.

Kyracooneyx I hope Em is being nice to you

You smirk at the message, incredibly happy that a member of the team was reaching out to you. You were glad of its casualness and decided to follow suit.

Y/n13 Well well well... if it isn't 1/3 of Ausenal

Kyra was clearly awake as she began to type the moment your message had been sent in response.

Kyracooneyx I like to think of myself as the best Aussie in North London

Y/n13 That's rather conceited don't you think?

Y/n13 Poor Steph Cately

Kyracooneyx She'll get over it

Kyracooneyx So when do you sign for us?

Y/n13 Bright and early tomorrow morning

Kyracooneyx Then why are you awake

You pause for a second, trying to concoct a lie.

Y/n13 I got side tracked watching love island

Kyracooneyx Not that shit. And to think, we could've been friends

Y/n13 Everyones been saying that

Kyracooneyx Saying what?

Y/n13 That we'll get on

Kyracooneyx Well Emily did describe you as a little shit the other day at training and that's what Steph calls me sometimes

Y/n13 we can be shits together

You laughed aloud at the absurdity of your conversation. You already sounded like best friends.

Kyracooneyx Are you doing anything right now?

Y/n13 Absolutely nothing

Kyracooneyx There's a park two minutes down the road from Emily's, meet me there? I'll ping the address

Y/n13 Count me in

You threw on a pair of joggers and an oversized jumper before sneaking out the door, elated that you'd found a new friend. And even more so now that you had a distraction from the haunting memories that ran through your brain.

[mrsshabana]

✧ 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐇 ✧

Aniplex has released a ton of new merchandise for the demons! They held a lottery event and here are the prizes shown on their website. I don't live in Japan so I wasn't able to participate in the event, but I was able to get my hands on some of the items through proxy services. Of course, I bought all of the Gyutaro items so I thought I'd share them all with you! Honestly, I was starting to think they were done making Gyutaro merch so this was a pleasant surprise!

𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐆𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐃𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚

This diorama is so cool! It includes almost all of the demons, even the most insignificant ones. It was too long to fit into one photo so I took photos of each section. It isn't actually that big, but it is quite long. I'd recommend this to anyone who is more of a fan of the demons rather than the slayers and hashira. It's nice for us to finally get something that is focused only on the demons since they typically make more merch for the slayers. Though there is one demon I'm sad to see isn't included. But he hasn't appeared in the anime yet so I won't spoil it.

𝐆𝐲𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐬

These are all of the Gyutaro prizes in the lottery. From left to right is the plate, big acrylic stand, big can badge, metallic postcard, and clear card. I like all of these items though I will say I wish they would use a different pose for Gyutaro. They use this same pose for so many merch items, I swear I must have at least two dozen items with this pose on it. My favorite item is definitely the plate. It looks really cool and I was tempted to buy the Kokushibo one as it looked really cool too. The big acrylic stand is nice too. I have a smaller one that they released a couple of years ago, but this one is at least three times its size. It's hard to tell in the photo but this thing is actually really big. Definitely something I'd recommend for Gyutaro collectors.

[zlebooks]

A SINGLE THREAD OF GOLD (TIED ME TO YOU) 𓍯 series of events where you realize your fate with him is much more intertwined than how you initially believed it to be.

INCLUDES. 🪡 childe, thoma, xiao, zhongli (i might do a part two for ayato, diluc, kazuha !! i just wanted to get this out of my drafts as soon as possible 😭)

AUTHOR’S NOTE. you know the trope “omygod it’s annoying you’ve been by my side all the time but somehow it became less annoying… i like it even and omg i didn’t notice that what i’m looking for is you all along” ?? yes this is that trope … inspired by taylor swift’s invisible string and the movie harry met sally! both got me in a chokehold rn. also the angst levels increase the further you scroll down.

somehow friends to lovers, mentions of wedding and settling down.

childe is a friend. although, he isn’t the type of friend that you share your secrets with, not a friend who regularly contacts you to hang out, nor is he a friend that eats ice cream with you whenever you get your heart broken. childe is the friend you met through mutual connections, the one that makes you say ‘oh! what a small world’ because you just met him last week at a friend’s birthday and now he’s attending as one of the groomsmen at your distant relative’s wedding.

he’s equally surprised as you, of course he wouldn’t forget the one person that told him: “god this party sucks” when the celebrant was just literally behind the two of you. he remembers you being brazen and holding a glass of beer on one hand.

just like the birthday party, during the wedding’s reception, childe finds himself sitting beside you. he asks you how you’re doing as if a lot happened within the week you were separated.

(“you say that as if a week could eventful.”

“hey! a lot can happen in a week!”

you raise an eyebrow, waiting for him to prove his point.

“like one of your friends getting married!” he gestures to the now married couple dancing.

you find yourself stupidly laughing.)

you both enjoy yourselves together. in the short period of time you sat beside him, you figured that childe was fun to be around and he basically knows everyone in the city.

that’s why, you couldn’t help but joke that you might see him again in another wedding.

(you did.)

surprise was an understatement when you saw him entering the venue. this time, you were a bridesmaid, and he was the cousin of the groom. and just like the previous wedding, childe finds himself sitting beside you, now talking about how the last two months went for you.

(“you better not tell me i can’t ask you about how you spent the last two months because it’s a short time.”

“you know how a year for a human is seven years for a dog?”

“you’re telling me i’m the dog?”

once again, you idiotically laugh.)

this time around, you found out that childe’s real name was ajax. childe was just a nickname given to him by his 8th grade teacher and the name has been stuck ever since. you figured out that he likes the nickname rather well— he tells you that it makes him interesting to which you disagree, sparking a thirty minute debate between you two.

when the party died down, and you were called to help the newly wedded bride, you both bid each other good night. this time, it was his turn to joke about the next wedding you two will meet.

(“if i saw you again in another wedding, i promise to shave my head.”

you snort, “see you at the next wedding then.”)

the moment you meet childe once again, you were a little bit disappointed that you weren’t wearing another bridesmaid dress. however, childe was more than ecstatic that he met you in a baby shower hosted by a mutual friend (once again).

the moment the couple popped the balloon which launched dozens of pink confetti to the air, childe appears right beside you almost immediately.

this time, you find out that he’s equally anxious as you to see the people in your life settling down. that your friends left and right are getting married and having kids, while you had the trouble of looking for someone to spend new year’s eve with.

(“don’t you think that all these events we’re attending are getting suffocating?”

this was the first time you wholeheartedly agree with him without the teasing.)

when everyone else was starting to clean up, and you finally put your hand on your friend’s belly to feel the baby kick, childe tells you he’s going home with a box of take outs. he finally asks you for your number, telling you that he hopes to see you again without the pressuring reminders of settling down.

(“see you on new years?”

“see you on new years.”)

five months went by without the wedding and baby shower invitations, you were glad to say the least. while you were incredibly happy for your friends, you can’t help but to feel insecure for being unable to settle down like the most of them are.

childe and you call sometimes, mostly right before bed and you always scold him for ruining your body clock. but as whiny as you can be, you never actually hung up on him.

these conversations over the phone let you discover little things about childe. like how he hates ketchup on eggs but is fine with it being on everything else, how he likes eating mint choco flavored ice cream but detests anything else flavored mint, and the fact that one of his hobbies is crocheting stuffed toys for teucer who you learned was childe’s youngest brother.

he came from a big family from the country side. he had three older siblings and another three that followed him. you learn that he was a family man; he specifically treasures and adores the three younger ones left at home.

you discover that to them, childe is ajax— the dependable big brother.

during the phone calls, ajax tells you his adventures back home. how he once got pulled into the lake after catching a fish bigger than him, how he once went home with more than enough bruises after learning how to skate for the first time. in return, you supply him the latest office gossip; how the boss and his secretary were sleeping together and almost got caught by the wife. putting things into perspective, your stories were much more dull.

despite these phone calls starting to become a part of your nightly routine, you both never came around to the idea of spending time with each other in personal.

however, the promise of spending new years with each other still remains. and when the night came, you were all bundled up in his arms from complaining how cold it was outside. it was now his turn to complain about the cold as you have succeeded at stealing his mittens and scarf.

(“you didn’t think you could dress for the weather?”

“my coats at home ruin my dress.”)

when the countdown starts and the ball finally drops, everyone starts kissing their partners while you could only stare at childe’s lips. he does the same to you, and before you knew it, you were leaning towards each other, finding the warmth of your lips.

ajax finally meets you halfway and the moment just felt right.

(the next wedding you attend to was yours. and every single one of your mutual friends were invited.)

friends to lovers, swearing.

thoma has been there for your first heartbreak.

he was there to watch every sappy romcoms known to man with you, he was there to give you a new roll of tissue whenever you ran out, and he was right beside you to clean up whatever mess you made.

thoma has been there when your first love shattered your heart into pieces just like how you’ve been there for him when his broke.

the two of you fell easily into a routine; he listens when you gush over the guy you recently met while you give him advice on how to win over his seat mate in class. he reassures you that it wasn’t your fault that things ended up that way while you listen to his frustrations about how incorrigible his girlfriend was. the two of you share a microwave meal as you both whine how relationships are tiring only for the two of you to share a tub of ice cream two weeks later, as you talk about how beautiful it is to love.

the night you call him, your words gibberish and barely comprehensible, it doesn’t take thoma very long to piece the puzzles together. you were obviously upset (upset is an understatement) about your recent romantic endeavor and it was up to thoma to cheer you up just like you’ve done for him many times.

on his way to your home, he picks up a tub of ice cream, a pack of tissue to be safe, and a romantic film that he knew would make you laugh at the ridiculousness.

he rings your doorbell to which you open the door in response, and he sees you standing in your pjs, eyes bloodshot and snot all over your nose. while this was the typical look whenever you were heartbroken, thoma is confused and left to wonder— you have yet to mention being interested to someone for the past two months.

but when a gold envelope haphazardly thrown on the kitchen counter catches his eyes, thoma gets the idea.

“he’s getting married.” you sob loudly, “he’s fucking getting married.”

the male hands you the box of tissue he bought, and you motion him to enter the flat.

“all this time, i thought he didn’t want to get married ever, but he just meant that he didn’t want to get to married to me,” you cry harder than what thoma was accustomed to, and scared that you might literally fall apart, he leads you to your couch.

“and you know what’s funny? they’re getting married on spring,” you inhale briefly, “in fucking spring thoma! that’s when i wanted to get married.”

the man pats you in the back, “he was a douche anyway; i didn’t like him.” thoma takes out the ice cream he bought, handing it to you and the spoon urging you to eat like it would make your problems disappear right away.

as if you hadn’t heard your friend, you continue venting out your frustrations. “and get this: the girl he’s marrying is hannah.”

“hannah?”

“hannah on your 21st birthday. your hannah!”

“oh.”

he sits on the couch, grabs the tub of ice cream and keeps it to himself.

and then the two of you sit in silence.

“do you think this is god’s way of telling us that we’re meant for each other?”

thoma raises an eyebrow.

“i mean, all the people that throws us away—“ thoma decides that he will lecture you on your choice of words, “—end up being together. like maybe we’re so bad that we’re made for each other?”

“which movie did you watch without me?” he teases, to which you take offense because you would never dare to watch a bad movie without him. the rest of the night continues without the topic being brushed over once again but for a moment, thoma actually considers the thought.

maybe, just maybe.

five months followed, and you never cried out your heart to him ever since. thoma, finds himself relinquishing from meeting new people, taking time to sort out himself partly. the other part knows that ever since you told him your silly theory about why your relationships always end up as failures, thoma had started seeing you more than as a friend.

he thinks that he’d make a great damn boyfriend; better than anyone else you had. he knows exactly what makes you double on the floor for laughing, the food you want to eat on certain days, and how to calm you down whenever you were anything but.

despite that, thoma waits. he waits for you to come to him, waiting for you to realize, and waiting for you to be ready. so when you call him up on a friday night, just to hang and not talk about how relationships were taxing, that was the moment he knew.

when you told him you wanted to see another romcom movie without being gibberish and snot blocking your nose, he decides that maybe it’s finally the right time.

thoma lives for the after. the after of every failed relationship because he knows that at the end of the tunnel, there is hope. that in every relationship he enters, he’ll be one step closer to “the one”. and as he looks at you, fighting to keep your eyes wide open to watch yet another sappy romcom movie, he realizes you were the after.

kind of soulmates to lovers, reincarnation, character death (but it’s a happy/hopeful ending don’t worry)

xiao dreams.

at night, dreams plague him in his sleep and he wakes up wondering what is it all about.

illustrations of what wang shu inn looked like more than 10,000 years ago visits him in his sleep, the old liyue looking so vivid as if he lived to tell the its tales.

in these dreams, xiao is always visited by the same person. their hair covers almost half of their face whenever the wind blows, their lips always chastising the “him” in his dreams, their smile was so bright that it completely unravels the heavy knot on xiao’s chest.

and xiao finds himself longing. whenever he wakes up in the morning, he yearns for this person. for him, it feels like the act of falling in love with someone you don’t know, missing somebody you never met.

(“promise that you will look for me in our next lives, alatus.”

xiao jolts awake.)

the young man has heard of that name before.

in his history class, way back in 7th grade, he had heard the feats and victories that belonged to the name. a fearless warrior that served liyue’s god, alatus was said to die peacefully years after the war yet he was all alone.

he had lived his life devoted to the god of contracts; spending his days fighting demons, alatus’ loyalty was to liyue and its people.

xiao hears that a museum nearly ten blocks away has opened to visitors. it is said it contains almost all the rich history of liyue that remains untouched, including portraits and statues once revered many years ago. there, xiao seeks answers.

he arrives at the sight of a familiar figure.

“do you know him?”

you turn around, looking at the guy bewildered.

“i’d have to be really old for me to know him,”

xiao feels his breath taken away from him as he finally confirms his suspicions; you looked exactly like the person in his dreams, only your hair is much shorter. the flurry of emotions inside of him breaks the dam; his heart pounding loudly in his chest that any louder you would have heard it, his head filled with incomplete memories, and his lungs struggling to breath.

(one night at wangshu inn, he sees you brushing your hair.

“join me and let’s look at the stars together.” you pat the space next to you.

“waste of my time.” he tsks, before muttering his breath but he finds himself taking his rightful place beside you.)

he notices the way your eyebrows furrow at him and your lips turning into a pout. “has anyone told you that you look exactly like the guy in the painting?”

true to your words, when xiao gazes upwards, he sees himself staring back at him. eyes bore into his soul, scrutinizing his every move and it’s extremely weird that such painting makes him feel like he’s being watched, and by himself no less.

below the painting, a gold plate is mounted against the wall.

a lover’s oath.

alatus in the art is holding someone. their white clothing smeared with blood, and the tears that fall from the yaksha’s face were enough to tell xiao that they were in their last moments before separation.

strangely, xiao feels a tug on his heart strings. an overwhelming feeling looks over him, and he feels like he’s about to cry.

“it brings you to tears, doesn’t it?”

(xiao in his dreams feels like his heart was ripped open.

in his arms, the only person he might have loved is already dying. the blood from the wound seeping on their clothes is a reminder that it’s only minutes away before their impending doom.

xiao, for the first time in a while, cries when he wakes up.)

“i dream of the person in white,” xiao suddenly confesses.

“they say that they might have been alatus’ friend, companion, and lover.” you tell him, reading from the standee near you.

when you receive no reply from the male, you glance at him and your eyes meet.

intrigue, you ask, “how do they look like in your dreams?”

“they look like you.”

the timeline varies but it’s mainly centered in whatever the genshin timeline is for plot convenience, references to death (still happy ending), reincarnation au, it literally takes several lifetimes for zhongli to realize he likes you, literally the “i’m god’s favorite mortal; he favors me” pipeline. ALSO i got carried away im sorry

first.

you first meet zhongli as a refugee from the waging war. the god governing your land slaughtered mercilessly by those who seek more power. your feet brings you to morax; looking for a shelter and protection.

you almost got turned away, even receiving snide remarks from higher beings for being naively brave to seek protection from a god when you were nothing but a mortal.

(but what is a god’s purpose if not to protect the nation he governs and the people inhabiting it?)

it was only in the right hand deity’s grace were you able to stay.

so like a fish out of water, you live amongst immortals, making yourself useful with mundane tasks that warriors shouldn’t be bothered with.

(when you died in the hands of the enemy, it served as a reminder why morax fights this war.)

second.

the next time zhongli notices of your presence, it was in the middle of the rise of liyue harbor. he is finally a step closer to building a safe land to house his people; long years of the war soon to be buried.

morax, now known as rex lapis, hears every single prayer made at his statues.

he feels you ardently take care of the sculptures and in return, he passionately listens to your pleas of saving your sick mother.

(on your way home one day, you find a plant you’ve never seen before. you take its fruit for your mother to eat as you hold onto your faith, hoping that this may be the answer to your prayers.

the next day, she stands up from her bed for the first time in a long while.)

third.

the first time you were able to hold a conversation with zhongli, was his first time walking amongst mortals.

he now goes by jiawei, a struggling merchant trying to strike a fortune in the harbor— at least that’s what he tells you during your introductions.

you’ve always thought that jiawei was a noble’s son. his vast knowledge on liyue’s history, his proficiency in reading and writing, and his peculiar taste for lavishness gave it away. furthermore, there were days he hadn’t been present, and you surely assumed it was due to his duties as a noble.

zhongli, or jiawei in this life, shares myths and legends of ancient liyue to you while you show him the ropes of living as a simple commoner in his land. he teaches you how to read and write while you teach him what goes on at the streets of the harbor.

(when jiawei doesn’t appear one night to meet you under the stars, you assume he finally grew out of his childlike wonder and immaturity. instead, he grows into the shoes that were his noble duties.)

fourth.

zhongli catches your reincarnation crying underneath an oak tree this time.

he approaches you gently, wishing to comfort an old friend even if you probably don’t remember him. a hand behind your back soothes whatever distress you’re carrying as he tells you everything will be alright.

zhongli learns you are bound to suffer the same fate as almost every maiden in his country.

in a few months or so, your hand will be taken and you will be forced to marry someone whom you have yet to meet.

and zhongli, for the first time, meets someone who openly cursed rex lapis.

(“trust in the lord rex lapis my foot, he doesn’t even listen to my prayers!”

zhongli purses his lips— if only you retained your past memories.)

the following week, your father shared good news that you wouldn’t have to marry to save your clan from ruin. apparently, your crops have never been better and every merchant is seeking business with you.

the next time you see the man who listened you vent out your frustrations under a tree, you thank him for the comfort you received. he expresses his happiness as you tell him that maybe rex lapis isn’t deaf after all while you don’t catch the slight tense on his shoulders.

(that life, just like any other life, you thank him with a different name yet again. zhongli feels that he’s close to losing his identity.)

fifth.

“i know you from somewhere.”

“that wouldn’t be possible; i have just gotten back from my travels.”

“i know you from a long time ago.”

“again, that would be impossible.”

the fifth time zhongli meets you, he notices that your sense of deja vu has gotten stronger.

the god gives you his mortal name that he decided to stick to, making it the first time among others that you meet him under the name zhongli.

in this life, he tells you that he’s a scholar that hails from the land of sumeru with keen interest on liyue’s rich history, and now he’s traveling across teyvat for his studies. you find yourself not believing him one bit.

he tells you stories from his travels, from the hospitality of mondstandt to the exquisite cuisine of inazuma, zhongli recounts the wonders of each nations he’s visited. but from his stories, you know that the man’s heart will always remain in liyue.

and as months passed by and seasons changed, you find yourself wishing that his heart would remain with you as well. but the god resigned himself to a much crueler fate; to walk down a path alone and by himself.

(“i think i love you.”

“it shall pass.”)

sixth.

the heart is a fickle thing, zhongli realizes.

in your previous lifetime, he refused to return your feelings and for a while, he’s committed to it. but as he lays his eyes on you for the first time in this lifetime, he was suddenly reminded that he too, was capable of loving.

zhongli doesn’t approach you, afraid that the feelings he has locked away far deep into the trenches of his heart will blossom and turn into something as beautiful as flowers. but alas, your soul finds his, under the same oak tree that he once found you under, and you almost remembered.

(“i just know that you were special to me.”

zhongli almost caves.)

seventh.

almost a century passes by and zhongli’s feelings for you remain the same. you died and you were reborn.

he never reveals himself to you.

eighth.

ninth.

tenth.

eleventh.

(“why do you seem so afraid?”

the god does not reply, afraid that his voice might give him away.

“why can’t you give us a chance?”)

twelfth.

when zhongli is just zhongli and rex lapis was no more, he comes and finds you.

he dines with you in your favorite restaurant, he walks around the harbor with you hand in hand, and he finally takes you to places in liyue to see its beauty that the textbooks could never justify.

for the first time, the ex archon takes the key and unlocks his heart, allowing himself to love with no restrictions.

(you die from old age, and you know that your husband isn’t anything like you for his hair remained dark while yours turned white, his skin smooth and soft while yours had turned wrinkled and rough from time.)

twentieth.

liyue’s skies have been crying non stop and zhongli is to blame partly.

while he had renounced his claim to the land long ago, a part of his soul is still linked to his beloved nation.

your body remained lifeless, cold, and bitter in the god’s arms. you died peacefully in your sleep, beside your lover and zhongli feels like heart in his chest is being ripped apart slowly and painfully.

as a mortal, you were granted with infinite numbers of reincarnations. you meet zhongli, you spend your lifetime with him wondering why his touch feels so familiar, and then you die peacefully. the cycle repeats.

(zhongli is cursed; he’s sure of it.

while he remembers every waking moment with you, you were bound to forget him and the lives you spent together.

but still, even if the cycle of losing you hurts more than any wound he received from the wars he fought, zhongli continues.

for what is grief if not love persevering?)

twenty-fifth.

through the years, he has grown weary and tired. the path to godhood is a lonely one, but a path leaving his old ways whilst immortal? zhongli has never felt more alone in his life.

he ventures the lands and seas in attempt to break free from the shackles of being a god.

but even then, his path remains anything but fortuitous; his attempts were futile.

(it was his turn to swear at celestia and the higher beings.)

thirty-ninth.

zhongli finds comfort in writing.

he jots down everything about you in every life you spend with him, afraid he’ll forget one detail about you.

this is where he finds solace in when time takes you away from him. it’s what keeps him sane as he waits for you in your next life and the one after that.

as he reads and reads the words he put down into notes, he notices nothing ever changes. he always end up falling in love with you, and you always end up falling in love with him. for zhongli, may it be cruel in its own way, it is a reminder that immortal he may be, he always has a place in your mortality.

(“what are you writing?”

“just some reminders for the day darling.”)

fortieth.

zhongli, with how long he’s been living, should have known better than to leave his possessions laying out in the open.

it’s not like he’s keeping secrets from you, but even he would go crazy if he finds a journal (of his lover nonetheless) that suggests he’s already living his fortieth life.

but you were better than zhongli at handling things like this. you were much more patient and calmer, like the never changing rivers of liyue.

zhongli tells you of your past lives for the first time, and you cry.

not because you felt trapped by loving the same person all the time, but rather, sorry that your lover had to go through all of it all alone.

(“can’t you just grow old with me?”

“believe me sweetest, i tried.”)

morax, rex lapis, jia wei, zhongli. they’re all the same. they’re all slaves to love and to the dreams of spending the rest of their lives with someone they cherish.

that night, zhongli prayed, got on his knees and begged.

once, he was an enemy of celestia. now, he falls to its feet willing to do anything just for it to grant his wish.

he doesn’t sleep, eat, or drink. he just prays.

(oh how the mighty have fallen.)

a week later, your eyes squint at him and he wonders.

“is there something on my face?”

you shake your head, and without warning you pull a strand of hair from his head.

“are you supposed to have white hair?”

zhongli, funnily enough, starts bawling.

(you never thought someone would be so happy that wrinkles are starting to appear all around his face, and how the callousness of his hands become more evident.)

forty-ninth.

fiftieth.

fifty-third.

sixtieth.

seventieth.

zhongli is able to love freely. finally.

please do not repost or translate without my permission. reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[beardedmrbean]

Adair, Iowa, had a population of 794. So, it seemed suspicious when its three-person police department asked regulators to buy 90 machine guns, including an M134 Gatling-style minigun capable of shooting up to 6,000 rounds of ammunition every minute. 

Federal agents later discovered Adair's police chief, Bradley Wendt, was using his position to acquire weapons and sell them for personal profit. A jury convicted Wendt earlier this year of conspiracy to defraud the United States, lying to federal law enforcement and illegal possession of a machine gun. Wendt is unapologetic and has appealed his conviction. 

"If I'm guilty of this, every cop in the nation's going to jail," Wendt told CBS News just days before a federal judge sentenced him to a 5-year prison term. Wendt's crimes appear to be part of a nationwide pattern.

A CBS News investigation found dozens of law enforcement leaders — sheriffs, captains, lieutenants, chiefs of police — buying and illegally selling firearms, even weapons of war, across 23 U.S. states, Puerto Rico and Washington, D.C., from the Deep South to the Midwest, Northeast and California coast. 

A nationwide review of government audits and court records over the last 20 years uncovered at least 50 cases of police illegally selling their weapons online, through dealers, out of their homes or the back of their cars. In many cases, the weapons were sold to gun enthusiasts, often at steep markups as high as 10 times what they were bought for. 

In several cases, the guns wound up in the hands of violent felons and were used to commit crimes including drug trafficking, international arms dealing and, in one case, the fatal shooting of a 14-year-old boy attending a high school football game. 

In 2011, federal agents busted a smuggling ring out of New Mexico involving a police chief, mayor and village trustee who delivered automatic firepower and tactical gear to a Mexican cartel.  

A decade later, prosecutors uncovered a multistate conspiracy linking a sanctioned Russian arms dealer with three police chiefs, one sheriff and a Delta Force veteran who sold machine guns directly to a criminal trafficker. All of them pleaded guilty. An additional alleged co-conspirator, who worked as an intelligence analyst for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, denied wrongdoing and his case is proceeding to trial. 

Nearly 26,000 guns were traced from American crime scenes back to a government agency, law enforcement or the military between 2017 and 2021, the most recently available data, according to a report by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. It isn't known how many of those were lost, stolen or sold. However, when government auditors investigated firearms that law enforcement agencies reported missing over a 15-year period, the General Services Administration Inspector General found that more than two-thirds had not gone missing at all but, rather, were inappropriately sold or traded —including Uzis and grenade launchers that were never recovered.  

Meanwhile, a separate Government Accountability Office audit in 2018 found $100 million worth of guns and ammunition bought by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement was unaccounted for. In response, ICE said that it improved how it would keep track of its inventory going forward; there was no follow-up about the weapons that were already missing. ICE did not respond to CBS News' request for comment. 

Of the 58 cases CBS News identified where law enforcement officers were criminally charged with illegally selling their weapons, 56 of them either admitted guilt or were convicted; two have denied wrongdoing in ongoing cases. 

Those cases are just the tip of the iceberg, according to interviews with half a dozen former Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms agents who worked directly on these investigations. Several career agents shared anecdotes about letting police departments off with warnings after repeatedly finding their service weapons in the hands of private citizens. The agents explained that prosecutors have been generally reluctant to charge these cases, and the bureau stated that "it is our goal to educate, not investigate," according to a 2017 law enforcement memo obtained by CBS News. 

"We're not looking to prosecute fellow law enforcement officers," said Eric Harden, former special agent in charge of the ATF's Los Angeles field division.  

Harden authored the 2017 memo, which flagged a "growing trend" of "officers purchasing and then selling [restricted] firearms...for profit." The memo warned that anyone doing this was functionally acting as a straw purchaser in violation of at least two federal laws.  

Harden told CBS News that if officers persisted after being warned, or if their weapons were traced to a crime, they should be held accountable. "If we don't do this, then it'll be turning a blind eye and saying officers are above the law."  _______________________

Harden wrote the memo after his intelligence unit traced an outlawed pistol seized in a narcotics bust to a recent purchase by a beat cop in Pasadena, California. Now retired, Harden still remembers that officer crying on his shoulder when federal agents showed up to arrest him for illegally selling more than 100 weapons out of his home. The officer argued at the time that he didn't know he was breaking the law, but he later pleaded guilty. He served less than a year in federal prison and paid a $10,000 fine but was allowed to keep his Porsche and Alfa Romeo. 

On the other side of LA County, a U.S. Customs and Border Protection officer, with secret-level security clearance, was operating an even more egregious gun-running scheme that went on for 20 years. He too eventually pleaded guilty, in 2019, after an undercover agent busted him selling weapons out of the trunk of his car. His stockpile at the time totaled more than 250 firearms, including 41 machine guns and two short-barreled rifles. 

The officer "betrayed his oath to uphold the laws of the United States solely to put more money in his pocket," the U.S. Attorney said in announcing the news of the officer's prison sentence. 

Several cases involved sheriffs and police leadership who used their positions in law enforcement to gain access to military-grade machine guns, short-barreled rifles and explosive devices like grenades, and then sold them in violation of federal law. 

Although the Second Amendment guarantees the right to bear arms, there are limits to the kinds of weapons people are allowed to possess. Post-1986, these weapons — known to the ATF as Class 3/Title II and to the gun industry as "posties"— have been restricted for official government use because of their deadly firepower. Many of them are battlefield weapons used by U.S. and NATO forces in conflict zones. Some ammunition can take out a helicopter or blow straight through an armored tank followed by a concrete building, out the other side, then explode, hitting targets 18 football fields away. These guns can spew hundreds of rounds each minute, faster than the speed of sound. 

"Congress knew almost 100 years ago, in the days of Al Capone, that fully automatic weapons were unusually dangerous," ATF Director Steven Dettelbach said a public address on Feb. 28, 2023. "They have no place in our communities." 

The government loophole, however, has been exploited by opportunists who recruit law enforcement conspirators to help them bypass the American machine gun prohibition, according to law enforcement records and court filings obtained by CBS News that include text messages, videos and wiretapped audio conversations between people who were either convicted of or admitted participation in these schemes. 

CBS News found a trail of activity in social media videos and online web forums frequented by firearm aficionados discussing how to entice law enforcement allies into this illicit trade, which can be highly lucrative. Amid a series of online conversations reviewed by CBS News, one poster suggested that after law enforcement acquired a $10,000 machine gun through the federal approval process, it could be worth $75,000 because it would be free of red tape. Wendt, the Iowa police chief, for example, at times earned more than a 90% profit margin, according to court records. 

"Here is a breakdown of who signs for me," advised another online user, identifying one police chief, one sheriff, one SWAT officer and one deputy sheriff with whom he said he attended high school. 

For police departments to get ahold of such high-powered weaponry, each one needs permission from the ATF. Even though it has been the law for more than three decades, the ATF only started vetting every machine gun application for the first time in January 2023 to confirm that a legitimate government agency was making the request.  

According to interviews with half a dozen longtime ATF officials who worked directly on these cases, the bureau typically does not assess the appropriateness of the weapons for a department or track where they end up. 

"There's no audits," said former Supervisory Special Agent Tim Graden, who worked at the ATF for more than two decades before retiring in 2022. "There was no second-guessing whatsoever. They weren't really — I don't want to use the word concerned, but I can't think of a better one." 

The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives declined requests to comment.  

It's unclear how pervasive this is nationwide, but in Iowa alone over the past five years, the ATF did not deny a single law enforcement request for machine guns "based on suitability (or lack thereof)," according to court filings. By 2023, there were more than 1,200 machine guns registered to law enforcement across the state.  

To find out how that compares to other places, CBS News filed a series of Freedom of Information Act requests with the ATF for details about the high-powered arsenal it's granted to public law enforcement over the past decade. However, the bureau denied those requests, stating that it considers that private tax information exempt from public disclosure. Last week, CBS News filed a lawsuit for the information. 

The proliferation of this high-powered weaponry is likely to become increasingly more relevant when President-elect Donald Trump takes office. During his first administration, Trump revoked an Obama-era executive order restricting the transfer of military equipment from the Defense Department to law enforcement nationwide. The Trump transition team did not respond to a request for comment.

[artemisdesari-blog]

The trouble with writing a long AU is sometimes it sparks ideas for others based off narrative choices. In this case; what would have happened if the deal between Dooku and Fett in Careless To Let It Fall had been allowed to happen.

After killing Komari, Fett encounters Dooku who offers him the job of being the progenitor and trainer of an army of clones. So good, so canon. In Careless this is expanded on as a deal where two hundred thousand men are grown and trained purely for the purpose of overthrowing the Republic Senate who are responsible for, among many things, supporting the New Mandalorian's take over of Mandalore (leading to something of a cultural genocide) and the mission to Galidraan where Dooku was given all the wrong information as part of a Death Watch trap, but Jango shot first. Obviously there are more issues than that, and Jango is in full on revenge and not thinking clearly mode, but that's the base of it. As Jango’s payment for helping the Jedi effectively overthrow the Senate (cesspool of corruption that it is) Jango will be given fifty thousand of those men to use to wipe out any Death Watch in hiding and take back Mandalore. Obviously, neither Dooku nor Jango mean to keep their end of the deal. Dooku knows Palpatine has bigger plans and will work on Jango as much as possible to make a larger army and Jango intends to just abscond with every clone when the time comes and wipe out any Jedi who come for them.

This where Careless and whatever this AU is would diverge. In Careless Qui-Gon Jinn lives, Obi-Wan goes off to do his own thing, and Fett gets aggressively mind wiped and controlled by Dooku and Sidious so that he truly becomes the major asshole we all love. There's other stuff, but that hasn't been revealed yet even though I'm at chapter 100.

In this universe, Qui-Gon would die and the Trade Federation, humiliated by how Sidious used them, would find a way to off the Chancellor of the Republic as a final fuck you. Maybe Palpatine’s death is just an accident. Either way, Sidious is out of the picture but the clones are already in production and the Senate is still a total cesspool of corruption and arrogance and greed. Without Sidious to help facilitate the plan of playing one side of a conflict against the other, Dooku has to rethink and do it fast. He rejoins the order (or stays, some agree he left before Qui-Gon died and just stopped by to visit, others think it was what caused him to leave and I am too tired and lazy to check which is correct), forms a relationship with Obi-Wan even though he doesn’t bring him into the plan because he can tell Obi doesn't have time due to Anakin’s everything, because I am trash for Grandpa Dooku stuff, and begins to quietly convince younger and more idealistic Jedi that the Senate needs an overhaul, usually approaching them after missions gone wrong, while periodically checking in on Jango and the clones.

All on Kamino appears to be going according to the revised plan, except its actually going according to Jango’s plan. Jango pulls in the trainers and spends a couple of years weeding out the ones he can't actually trust as much as he hoped while quietly adopting a few dozen clones, including many fan faves. Other trainers adopt other clones, those clones adopt brothers, they basically become a group of clans with Jango as their Mand'alor. Dooku’s Jedi come for their one hundred and fifty thousand soldiers who will help them overturn the Senate and the clones turn on the Jedi, capture them, and head off to Mandalore to take what Jango has promised them with Fett as their leader and Cody as his right hand. Predictably, Obi-Wan is sent to Mandalore to deal with the fall out while the rest of the Jedi Council try to work out what the actual fuck happened and how Dooku managed it.

In all likelihood this would result in the Jedi leaving the Republic because the fact that Dooku managed to draw a good number of them into the mess would catch attention and make things very difficult. We would probably end up with some Codywan (because this is me) but that would probably only be implied at the end rather than the focus.

But, yes, the danger of long form AUs and the ideas that narrative choices spark. Another one for the maybe some day pile.

[charmedreincarnation]

Hello! How are you? I am very good for now. because after trying for over a year I switched to void state last night very easily! it was an incredibly amazing experience for me. I stumbled upon your account on tumblr a few days ago, I saw a lot of people have succeeded with the method you suggested! I felt so happy for them!

Now I will tell my own success story.

I used to be so obsessed with it that I was just procrastinating and "trying" to get into the void when I had so much work to do whenever I had free time.

Throughout this process, I always thought that I would not succeed and always went back to the beginning. I was very bad with everyone around me, I was constantly fighting and exposed to violence. In short, I was experiencing hell on this earth.

Months passed and I decided to focus on my life a little bit. I tried to think positively and convince myself how easy it was for me to manifest. But there was one very important thing that I forgot, all the evil forces in this hell were coming only on me, only me.

I spent the whole of last year and the first months of this year like a living dead...

But in these last few days, I have made a decision that will radically change my life. Before, I tried every method to enter void constantly, but something was not going well every time. So I decided that it would be easier and more useful to just assume that I woke up there, rather than making dozens of efforts to enter void 2 days ago.

THE DAY I FINALLY ENTERED THE VOID CONSCIOUSLY!

I didn't listen to the subliminal, I just did a 20-minute meditation, my wish to revisit life in more detail. At the end of the meditation, I said only one affirmation: I will wake up in void tonight.

I wasn't tired and very sleepy that night (these are usually what people think is necessary for a void).I just lay on my bed in my usual position and affirmed that I would wake up in void at night. After that I already went straight to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night, I didn't move. The sounds were so muffled, it's like you're listening to a song through a broken earpiece, that's how I heard it. I stayed like that for a few minutes, then the sounds suddenly stopped and I felt myself being pulled into the darkness. My heart was beating so fast, so I focused on calming myself. I couldn't feel my body anymore, as if someone was separating my soul from my body and floating it in a vacuum of space. That's when I realized that I really succeeded! And I calmed down for a while and then said my affirmations. I didn't make a special list, so I said it all one by one.

My manifests:

The face and body I dreamed of down to the smallest detail

My desired name, surname(i have two names in different languages)

My dream room and house with all the items on my Pinterest board(There were almost 50K pins on the board I mentioned...)

I overhauled my father as someone else entirely. With his nationality, zodiac sign, appearance, name.(I also added that he is a person who gets along perfectly with his 4 children and his wife!)

I made my mother younger in appearance, not in age, I also wished her a happy and peaceful life in every way.

As for our financial situation, my father is an extraordinarily wealthy businessman, we own the largest house and the most luxurious car in my city. We also have 4 modern apartments and 1 huge villa in another city! It does not end with these, we also have houses in America, France, England!

I also manifested new phone and other electronic gadgets.

We are 4 siblings in the family and we all get along very well, no hurtful words and no violence!

I have a private room for my unfinished clothes in my room and a very nice bathroom adjacent to my room!

I also manifested success in the lessons: no matter how long the paragraph is, it stays in my mind only once I read it and I never forget it! I do not have a single error in all the tests I have solved.

We have a total of 4 pets including 2 cats and a puppy and a husky dog. Our garden is huge, with a big swing, a covered area to sit in in the winter, and lots of lavender flowers, white roses!

By the way, I manifested that I have lived this life from the beginning, so our house is full of memories we have accumulated with my siblings and parents since childhood, our childhood photos everywhere, emotional diaries my mother wrote when she was pregnant.

I also manifested new friends to myself: one of them is famous (keep this part private lol), I wished to meet him since childhood. Apart from her, I also have a male friend who is our family friend and my best friend who lives with us.

That's all I wanted, I left everything else to my subconscious and my last sentence before leaving the void was "I will open my eyes to the life I dreamed of".

Finally, when I came out of the void, I heard my brother's voice, scolding me for turning off the air conditioner in my room and leaving it on until morning, and saying that he would be very upset if I got sick. (it did indeed come true more perfectly than I had imagined! )

The reason why I wrote my success story and the life I manifested at length is this: most people limit their desires and try to make do with less. Believe me, I was thinking the same way a month ago, thinking that living the life I wanted was unfair to the people in my life. But lately, thanks to what those people did to me, I realized that all this time I had been unfair to myself, not to them. After realizing this, I reminded myself that I only deserved the life of my dreams.

And now that I'm who I should be, I'm pretty happy with it. I can't thank you enough  my dear. The success stories you shared motivated me a lot and helped me take action.

I am so proud of you my love. I absolutely adore revision stories as well as the usage of intention which is my personal favorite method. No method is stronger than your will to have your desires. Thank you so much for sharing your story and I hope you continue to always live your best life <3

[coraniaid]

🔥 on fuffy's dynamic? or anything fuffy related

I think most Fuffy shippers – me included for sure – have a habit of making Faith seem a bit too … well, nice.

Don’t get me wrong: I like Faith a lot.  Not just as a character – and she is one of my favorite characters on the show, even if she only appears in less than two dozen episodes – but on a personal level too I have a lot of empathy for her.  I think she has a pretty rough deal in life.  I think she’s very badly let down by a lot of people, both before and after becoming a Slayer.  I think the narrative itself is often far less sympathetic to her than it is to other characters. I think she’s pretty miserably unhappy most of the time, and I think her redemption arc is genuinely very good, even with the little we see of her post-Sanctuary.

That said, it feels to me that a lot of Fuffy fanfiction is written by people who have decided, whether consciously or not, that the “real” Faith is the Faith we see awkwardly asking Buffy if she wants to go the dance with her in Homecoming since she already has the tickets, or showing up on Buffy's doorstep in Amends with some crappy Christmas presents, still not quite able to admit there was never any “big party” she could have gone to instead, however obvious it is at this point, and somehow managing to make a million different heartbreaking microexpressions when Buffy says she’s glad to see her. 

Yes, I like those moments too – I like them a lot – and I think that they are definitely indicative of a real aspect of Faith, one she tries hard to keep hidden most of the time.  But I think it’s an injustice to her character to make that the sum total of her personality.  If this were all there was to Faith’s character, she wouldn’t be half as compelling.

What about the Faith who, however troubled she looked at first, manages to shrug off the fact her new boss is planning to have Willow murdered when he tells her he’s also bought her a Playstation?  What about the Faith who attacks Joyce, ties her up and threatens to kill her?  What about the Faith who fantasies about stabbing Willow and taunts Tara by telling her how much Willow used to love Oz?  What about the Faith who, right from her first appearance, is perhaps a little bit too into beating up vampires and killing demons?  What about the Faith who threatens to torture Buffy, who tries to kill Angel, who definitely does torture Wesley and who kills Professor Worth while he begs for his life?  What about the Faith who probably was going to kill Xander? What about what Faith does to Buffy in Who Are You?

I’m not saying all Fuffy authors should exclusively write angst-ridden enemies-to-lovers in which for the first 100,000 words Faith really does seem to revel in being able to kill things without consequences even as she lets her obsession with Buffy Summers lead her into actively and deliberately trying to hurt her or bring her down to her level. (Though it would perhaps be nice if some of it was like this!)  I don’t have any moral objection if people would rather write fluff in which Faith and Buffy have an awkward first kiss at the Homecoming Dance, or AUs in which Faith never sides with the Mayor, or post-canon fic which takes for granted the fact that Faith is now redeemed and happily devoted to Buffy (it would make me a bit of a hypocrite if I did, since I’ve written all of these things).

But the sort of Fuffy writing and meta that I most enjoy, even if it doesn’t dwell on Faith’s worst moments or if it takes place in a continuity where they conveniently haven’t happened, always treats Faith as somebody who could do those things, if the circumstances were just a little bit different.  Always recognizes her as somebody who does have a lot of barely-suppressed anger in her, who is more likely to listen to an authority figure who tells her what she wants to hear than one who doesn’t, who is more than a little bit jealous of Buffy’s life, who does think, deep down, that being a Slayer makes her better than other people.

To me, that’s the appeal of Faith as a character and also of her relationship with Buffy. The two things are kind of inseparable.  Faith is a reflection of a lot of Buffy’s own worst impulses; she’s somebody that Buffy could have been if things had turned out differently (and if Buffy hadn’t had a certain inner strength and self-belief that Faith, for all her posturing, doesn’t quite ever have herself).  She’s the Buffy we’ll see hints of throughout Season 6, the Buffy we saw in Season 2’s When She Was Bad, the Buffy we see in Season 3’s The Wish. And, as a reflection of Buffy, she has some of Buffy’s strengths as well as exaggerated versions of some of Buffy’s flaws.  She’s not uncomplicatedly Evil, even at her worst, but she does a lot of things that are very hard to forgive, and she enjoys doing some of them more than some people like to admit.

I think if somebody’s going to try to write Fuffy, and get both Buffy and Faith right, that’s something they need to remember.  Let Faith have some jagged edges.  Let her be a little bit dangerous.  Let her be a little bit cruel. Let her be a little bit self-destructive.  Put simply: let her be Faith.

[mariacallous]

Tens of thousands of demonstrators have taken to the streets in Georgia in the South Caucasus in recent weeks to protest a controversial proposed new law that many fear, if passed, would be the death knell of a once-promising young democracy and drive the country firmly into Moscow’s orbit.

The “foreign agents” law would require organizations that receive more than 20 percent of their funding from abroad to register as “agents of foreign influence.” It is modeled on similar legislation that Russia enacted in 2012 and has used to cast independent media and civic society groups as doing the bidding of foreign governments and to crack down on dissent.

Georgia has been convulsed by bouts of street protests in recent years over the proposed law and other actions by the ruling Georgian Dream party that critics fear could consolidate its power and draw the country closer to neighboring Russia, a deeply unpopular move in the former Soviet nation where an overwhelming majority of the population supports joining the European Union, according to opinion polls.

Georgia was offered long-awaited EU candidate status by the bloc last year, which could be placed in jeopardy if the foreign agents legislation is adopted. In a statement last month, Brussels’s diplomatic service urged the country’s leaders to “adopt and implement reforms that are in line with the stated objective of joining the European Union, as supported by a large majority of Georgia’s citizens.”

On Thursday, Georgia’s ambassador to France resigned in protest over the proposed legislation, becoming the first senior official from the country to do so. “I no longer see my role and resources in this direction: the move towards Europe,” said Gotcha Javakhishvili in a post on social media.

The law was first introduced in February 2023 but was quickly withdrawn in the face of massive street protests in the capital, Tbilisi. It was then reintroduced in April of this year. Georgian President Salome Zourabichvili, who is independent of the Georgian Dream, has promised to veto the legislation if passed, but her veto would likely be overridden by the government’s parliamentary majority.

“It seems clear to me, anyway, they have made a decision to go the path of one-party rule, of shutting down basically all checks and balances on executive power, and this Russian law is the last instrument that they need to put in place,” said Ian Kelly, former U.S. ambassador to Georgia.

The protests this time around are markedly different from earlier iterations, though—but not because of the demonstrators or their demands. What makes the latest round of unrest different is the level of violence and intimidation meted out against protesters and civil society as well as the government’s apparent determination to pass the law, which is due for a final reading on May 13, despite the public outcry and condemnation from the European Union and the United States.

Security forces have used water cannons, rubber bullets, and tear gas in a bid to disperse crowds of demonstrators in the capital, Tbilisi, while protesters have reported being violently assaulted by groups of men dressed in black in what they say appear to be premeditated attacks.

In recent days, civil society activists, journalists, and their relatives have reported receiving menacing phone calls from anonymous callers threatening them in Georgian and reciting their home addresses in an apparent bid to intimidate them, said Eka Gigauri, executive director of Transparency International Georgia. Gigauri said she had received dozens of calls from unknown numbers in recent days but declined to answer them.

On Wednesday evening, four government critics, including two members of the United National Movement opposition party, were attacked by unknown assailants outside their homes and in the street. Overnight on Wednesday, posters featuring the faces of prominent civil society activists, journalists, and opposition politicians branding them as enemies of the country and foreign agents were plastered near their homes and offices across the capital.

“What happened during these two days is just an unprecedented level of targeting,” said Eto Buziashvili, a former advisor to the Georgian National Security Council based in Tbilisi.

In 2019, when police used water cannons, rubber bullets, and tear gas to disperse protesters, it sparked a national outcry and further protests calling for snap elections and the resignation of the interior minister, Giorgi Gakharia.

Now, accusations of more sinister tactics are afoot as the role of the unknown assailants dressed in black has drawn comparisons to pro-government thugs known as titushki who were allegedly paid for by the embattled government of Viktor Yanukovych to cause disruption and attack protesters during the Ukrainian revolution in 2014, Buziashvili said.

After a 2003 uprising known as the Rose Revolution, Georgia embarked on a dizzyingly ambitious reform program under the presidency of Mikheil Saakashvili, who was then a darling of Washington’s. He sought to stamp out corruption and put the country on a firmly Western trajectory, tilting it away from Moscow, which fought a short but shocking war with Georgia over the breakaway regions of South Ossetia and Abkhazia in 2008.

Saakashvili was imprisoned in 2021, accused of abusing power while in office. His supporters see the charges as politically motivated.

The Georgian Dream, established by the eccentric Georgian billionaire Bidzina Ivanishvili, came to power in 2012 promising a less confrontational approach to Moscow while paying lip service to the country’s aspirations to join NATO and the European Union.

Ivanishvili, who made his fortune in Moscow in the 1990s, served as prime minister for just over a year, stepping down in 2013, but has widely been viewed as the one still calling the shots behind the scenes as the Georgian Dream has undermined the country’s hard-won democratic gains and poured salt on the relationship with the United States.

“The person who seems to be driving all of this is Bidzina Ivanishvili,” said U.S. Sen. Jeanne Shaheen, a Democrat from New Hampshire who sits on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, speaking about the foreign agents law.

In October, the Georgian government accused the United States Agency for International Development of trying to foment a coup in the country.

The Georgian government’s claims echo similar allegations made by Moscow over the years that have accused Washington of pulling the strings in a series of pro-democracy uprisings in the former Soviet Union known as color revolutions, including in Ukraine.

“I think it’s Russian disinformation. It’s a deliberate effort by Russia to stoke divisions in the country,” said Shaheen, who has a long-standing focus on Georgia.

On April 29, in a rare public address infused with conspiracy theories, Ivanishvili—who formally serves as the party’s honorary chairman—depicted the country as wrestling for its independence against shadowy, unnamed foreign forces, describing Georgia’s nongovernmental organizations as a “pseudo-elite nurtured by a foreign country.”

Although Ivanishvili’s personal wealth is equivalent to roughly a third of the country’s gross domestic product, he is “borrowing from the Orban and Trump playbook, highlighting how the urban elite is running counter to Georgian traditional values,” Kelly said, referring to Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban and former U.S. President Donald Trump.

In March, a senior member of the Georgian Dream announced a raft of constitutional amendments cracking down on LGBT rights and banning any public efforts to promote same-sex relationships, echoing Russia’s “gay propaganda” law passed in 2013.

In the April speech, Ivanishvili explicitly referenced parliamentary elections set to be held later this year as a motivation for reintroducing the foreign agents law and the anti-LGBT legislation, noting that it would force civil society to “expend the energy” ahead of the vote, saying it would leave them “weakened” and “exhausted.”

Kelly criticized the Biden administration for not taking more concrete steps to deter Georgian politicians from pursuing the legislation. “Right after April 29, they should have started the first round of imposing costs, and the really easy one is, ‘You’re not welcome to get a visa,’” he said.

State Department spokesperson Matthew Miller condemned the violence against protesters on Thursday and called for a “full independent and timely investigation,” but Kelly said that such statements don’t go far enough.

“It’s useless. It’s worse than useless,” he said. “I don’t know if they really take us seriously.”