#inaccurate things

[schumachersricciardo]

Shiver

Chapter Two - My Heart in Your Hands 

♡ Mick Schumacher x Reader, Eventual Best friend!Danny Ricc x reader (I mean, come on, how could I not?) 

♡ TW: Swearing, inaccurate timeline of F1/F2/F3, badly translated German using Google, anxiety, slight anxiety attack, a lot of crying in this chapter, allusions to child abuse/unsafe household, bad family dynamic, rude interviewers!!!, cursing, hurt/comfort, uhhhh frozen lasagna in italy, lmao.

♡ She/Her pronouns are used, nothing descriptive about reader except that her hair is long enough to pull back into a ponytail or braid, no reader insert, timeline skips. ALSO: WARNING!!!! I will barely be mentioning Michael Schumacher. I do not presume to know what he is thinking, or would say in these fictional scenarios. I am trying to be respectful of their privacy and not make any assumptions!!!!!! He will be mentioned here and there, but I do not believe any dialogue will be associated with him. If you do not like that, then do not read it. :) 

♡ 4.6k words

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one year later 

“MERCEDES ANNOUNCES MICK SCHUMACHER AND LEWIS HAMILTON TO DRIVE NEXT SEASON” 

“MERCEDES ANNOUNCES THE FIRST FEMALE RESERVE DRIVER” 

“CAN SCHUMACHER LIVE UP TO THE FAMILY NAME, AFTER FAILING TO DO SO LAST SEASON AT HAAS?” 

“WILL THE FIRST FEMALE RESERVE DRIVER FOR MERCEDES BE ABLE TO RACE THIS YEAR AT ALL?” 

“IS TOTO WOLFF LEADING A WINNING TEAM OR JUST A WOKE ONE?” 

“WOLFF’S TEAM CONSISTS OF A BLACK DRIVER, A SCHUMACHER, AND NOW THE FIRST FEMALE RESERVE DRIVER… WHAT IS HIS PLAY?” 

The room around you was dark, the only source of light being the brightness from your phone. You had been scrolling on your phone endlessly that morning… Or evening. You honestly couldn’t tell since you did not get any sleep. 

It had been a whirlwind of a year. Never in your wildest dreams would you have thought that in your second year in Formula One would you become a reserve driver for one of the best teams on the grid. Lewis Hamilton was iconic in his own right, and while Mick’s last season was one to be forgotten, he was slowly creeping up the ladder of success. You were still in Formula Two, apart of the famous Prema Racing team. In your current environment, it was a fact that you were the only female driver in F2 right now. You were making your own strides finally, after such a bad year last season. Yet, you couldn’t shake the feeling that the announcement of you become the reserve driver for Mercedes was somehow going to bite you in the ass. You had some serious self doubt as you lay curled up on your bed under a pile of blankets. The news was blowing up and so were your messages. They were mostly congratulatory, at least the text messages were. The news outlets were something else, and you didn’t even want to look at the comments on social media. You were simply just reading headline after headline, your heart in your stomach and your anxiety at an all time high. 

But soon enough, your phone lit up again and you looked at with a blank expression. 

INCOMING CALL: Mickey 🐭

You blinked a few times hoping that he would just think you were still sleeping or something. 

MISSED CALL: Mickey 🐭

INCOMING CALL: Mickey 🐭 

You also knew though that he would just keep calling and calling, then texting and texting… So with a big sigh, you pressed ‘accept’ and put the phone on speaker. 

“Hello?” 

“Schätzen! Did I wake you? I could not have, since it is practically one in the afternoon!” Mick giggled to himself, as you could hear him moving around. 

“What do you want, Mick?” 

And of course he didn’t deserve your shortness, or any attitude you were dishing out, but it was as if you couldn’t stop yourself. You would’ve been short with anyone, really. 

“I want you to cheer up, Schätzen. I know you are just in your room, on your phone.” Mick did his famous hum as he waited for you to respond. But what could you say? He knew you better than anyone else. “I know you’re worried about him contacting you with all the news, Schätzen.” 

Mick’s voice was much softer now. His tone was serious, but respectful. You could hear a faint dinging noise in the background as he shifted the phone again. You knew exactly where he was. Begrudgingly, you lazily got out of your bed - still wrapped in your favorite blanket - and made your way to your apartment’s front door. You sighed deeply knowing you probably looked as great as you felt. Opening the door, you peeked your head out and soon enough there was Mick strutting down the hallway. His smile was bright and wide. He carried grocery bags on one arm and in the other, his backpack. You turned on your heel and left the door open, making your way to your couch. Oh sweet respite. 

The front door shut closed. You had your eyes shut and your head tilted back against the wall. The only thing that plagued your mind was that Mick was right. He was going to call you and until then, you were a ball of anxiety and stress. 

“Have you eaten today, Smidge?” 

“Was denken Sie? (What do you think?)” You replied with monotony pouring out with each syllable. 

Mick just hummed again. You could hear him scrummaging through your fridge, putting things away and throwing old things out… Presumably. 

“Tell me your mood, Smidge.” Mick’s question loomed in the air for a few moments. You turned your head to look at the blond haired boy. 

He had a small smile on his face as he leaned against the fridge door. His arms crossed over his chest, his black shirt hugging his biceps noticeably. He had a cap on backwards, and by the looks of it, it looked like the same hat you had; a Mercedes one. 

“Shitty.” 

He nodded his head as a matter of factly, pulling something out of one of the grocery bags. A frozen lasagna, which was sacrilegious in Italy, but he wasn’t going to tell anyone your secret. He began to turn the oven on and prepare the food, singing some song you probably could name if it were any other day, to himself. Once the oven heated up hot enough, he threw the lasagna in there and shut the door. Making his way over to you, he waved his hand slightly towards the space beside you. Without a word you threw that side of your blanket out and welcomed him to sit beside you. 

It was a tradition that started when you two were young, to share a blanket when someone was upset. The first time was when Mick’s dad was out of town for a special event, and had missed a karting event. Mick couldn’t quite understand the demand his father’s job had and how amazingly his mother was taking care of him and his sister when his father would be away. He was just a little kid. After his karting event, you were snuggled up on his family’s couch in your favorite blanket of theirs. You too were just a kid, but you could sort of see how upset he was too. He wasn’t his normally, bubbly self. He was solemn, and closed off. So you did the one thing you thought would cheer him up… Open up the blanket and share space with your best friend. Mick curled up next to you and rested his head on your shoulder. And from then on, it became something sacred between the two of you. 

But now, as young adults thrown into the world you know now as your life, Mick’s much heavier head sat on your shoulder, while you sat in complete silence. 

“Ich habe solche Angst, Mickey… (I’m so scared, Mickey).” You barely said above a whisper, not daring to move a bone in your body. Mick’s warmth was welcome and much needed. 

“I know, but I’m going to be here for you. Always, you know that.” 

“But… He’s out there. And now, he knows exactly what I’ve been up to, when I have been so damn careful of making sure he knows nothing about me!” You began to sob. After holding your sobs in all day, you broke completely at his kind words. 

“Hey, hey… Smidge, look at me…” Mick was sat up and his fingers under your chin. You were forcing yourself to look away, embarrassed by the state you were in now. “Smidgen, please look at me. I can’t take it when I can’t help you.” 

You turned to face him, his fingertips still under your chin as his thumb caressed your cheek. It was hard to believe that the small, tiny little boy who could barely fit into his clothes - now had hands as big as your face. 

“What can I do, schätzen? Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.” His brows were slightly furrowed as pure concern washed over his face. 

“There’s nothing you can do, Mickey. I’m an adult now and that means he can find me if he wants.” You sniffled back more sobs and shut your eyes tightly. You could feel the pads of his thumbs wiping away the tears that soaked your flushed cheeks. “He’s going to find me… He’s going to find me… And… Fuck, I don’t even know what he’s going to do once he finds me.” 

“He is not going to find you, first of all. And second of all, I will never let that happen. I will do anything to make sure that never happens, okay?” 

You met his blue eyes, your own filled with hot tears. You were able to blink away a few of them to clear your eye-line. His jaw was clenched, pulsing with tension. If there was anyone else that would be angrier than you with the situation, it would be your best friend. And it was apparent as rage began to riddle his body. 

“You are only one man, Mick.” 

Finally, the hardened man broke with a scoff. He let out a laugh, much like the one on the first day you had met him. But this time, he didn’t cover his mouth and he was not apologetic. 

“No, Smidge. He is only one man. I am a man with thousands behind him, including you. He will never be able to hurt you, as long as I am living.” 

You couldn’t help but smile at your best friend sat in front of you. He knew you better than anyone else, and you knew he’d do anything to protect you from the evil that plagued this world. 

“Promise me? Promise me, Mickey.” 

Mick smiled his purely innocent and infectious smile. Bringing you close to him, engulfing you in a tight embrace. You could hear his steady heart beating as you took a deep breath, the smell of his cologne filling your senses with a calmness you hadn’t felt in days since the news was announced. If the world were going to end, you’d be happy with where you were. Mick placed a kiss to the top of your head and hummed. You could feel yourself drifting off, quickly too. You don’t remember the last time you slept to be honest. But as sleep took you, you could hear him mutter something in German. If you were more awake, maybe you could have understood it… But he was mumbling and the only thing on your mind now was getting rest, in the protection of your best friend. 

“Du hältst mein Herz in deinen Händen. Ich werde dich nie verletzen und ich werde dich nie verlassen. Das verspreche ich dir für immer. (You hold my heart in your hands. I will never hurt you, and I will never leave you. I promise you that forever.)” 

Age 9

It was strange for you to miss school. With Mick’s father’s schedule, it wasn’t strange for him to miss school sometimes, but you… There was a strange feeling that filled the air when you were absent. And not only did Mick feel it, but everyone in your class. You had managed to make some good friends at your school, and even with the kids that weren’t your friends, you were never absent. And if you were tardy, you always had a doctor’s note or your mother had called in ahead of time. 

Mick stared hard and long at your empty desk two rows over to his left. He was not paying one singular attention to what the teacher was saying. It was apparent that he was distressed. He was a year older than you, but the one class you shared was a math class. You were advanced, and he was… well Mick. Yet, your seat was empty and his mind began to fill with reasons as to why. Soon though, the bell rings and Mick is pulled out of his trance. Yeah, he was going to get an earful for not taking one note that class, but you slowly had become his best friend and his main concern. With a huff, Mick walked up to the teacher and cleared his throat. 

“Do… Do you know where Smidge is today?” 

The teacher cocked her head in confusion. 

“Smidge?” 

Mick’s cheeks flushed with pure embarrassment as he corrected himself to using your real name. Suddenly, the teacher’s demeanor changed and her posture straightened. 

“I wouldn’t worry about it, Mick. I would be more worried that you did not take notes today.” She was trying her best to redirect the 10 year old boy. 

“But-“ 

“I’m sure she is alright, Mick. Now, you wouldn’t want to be late to your next class.” The teacher stood to her feet and exchanged a soft expression with the boy. 

Leading him towards the door, she debated heavily in her mind if she should say anything. But then she saw his face. Mick was always bubbly, and friendly. Sure, he was shy sometimes, but she had never seen him be so much out of his shell until he met you. And clearly your absence was affecting him deeply. Moving her arm in front of him to impede him from leaving her classroom. 

“Mick, do you know anything about her family?” 

“Uh, I know her dad is in the military. And she moved her a few years ago? She really likes it here, though.”

The teacher nodded along and pulled her lips into a tight line. 

“Then that’s all I would think about, Mick. She enjoys this school and I know she enjoys being your friend.” 

Some smaller words were exchanged between the two in German, and as Mick made his way to his next class something caught the corner of his eye as he rounded the hallway. 

There you were. 

His eyes lit up, a smile creeping upon his face. Yet, your eyes were glued to the ground and your face expressionless. Your older brother stood by your left side, and your mother by the right. Mick moved over and tried to hide behind the row of lockers. You didn’t see him. You didn’t really see anything. You were so zoned out that you could barely understand what the principal was saying to your mother. Or you just didn’t understand that level of German yet. Finally, the principal and your mother shook hands. She placed a kiss to your brother’s head and he went on his way to the older kid’s part of campus. Turning to you, she whispered something into your ear and repeated the motion. Soon, it was just you in the hallway, putting your backpack on your back and making way to the next class. 

“Smidge! Smidge!” Mick finally and bravely called out to you once he saw you were alone. He caught up to you and noticed your body language was different. “Where were you today? Math class was so boring without you!” 

“I was, uh, busy.” You curtly answered, avoiding eye contact. “I have to go, but I’ll see you later?” You quickly looked up at your now very confused friend. You gave him a small smile and darted away before he could ask you anything. 

Again, there was the boy who you became the closest to, alone in the middle of the hallway. Something was not right, and he wanted to know what it was and how to help. He hated feeling like he couldn’t help you. 

So he turned to the one person he knew could help: His father. 

Current Day 

Two days after Mick and come over and cheered you up, you had your first media day to prepare for. They wanted to interview you, and you knew it was going to be absolute chaos. You had very little media training, and knew that your anxiety would be through the roof. But at least both Lewis and Mick would be by your side. 

“So, you’ll be in the middle of the two boys, and then there will be someone there to field the questions and make sure that you don’t get too overwhelmed.” 

“Alright.” 

You were finishing your hair and makeup while your new PR assistant went through the play by play of the afternoon. You never did well with big crowds, but knowing your two friends would be there was a big relief. 

An hour and a half later, you got into a large SUV - accompanied by Mick. 

“Smidge! You look so beautiful, are you excited for your first media day?” You scooted over in the back seat to the other window as he filed in beside you. 

“No.” You honestly answered, shrugging your shoulders. Mick reached over and squeezed your hand reassuringly. “He’s going to see this you know.” 

“Eh, so is everyone else. He can go fuck off for all I care.” Mick smiled widely and pulled his phone out. Propping it up, he ushered for you to scoot back to him. “I want to remember this day.” 

You leaned comfortably against him and smiled at his phone camera. 

“And don’t worry. I’ll send it to you once I edit out all my blemishes.” Mick gave you a wink and with a click of his tongue, the flash went off and you once again scooted over back to your side. 

Thirty minutes later, the car stopped and you could hear the absolute chaos outside. Your heart rate picked up and your hands began to shake. 

“Schätzen, just keep your eyes on me, okay? You can grab my shirt if you feel overwhelmed. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

The door opened and what seemed like a million flashes of professional and phone cameras begin to go off. Mick seemed a natural in this world, and you obviously seemed like you are not. Instinctively, you grabbed the hem of his Mercedes branded shirt as he guided you through the crowd. Soon enough, you got inside and met up with Lewis and Toto. 

You took a deep breath, and felt some sort of relief. 

“Wow, you look beautiful today.” Lewis smiled his famous smile, and gave you a nod. “You’re showing both of us up!” 

“Yeah, okay Mr. Knighted Lewis Hamilton.” You elbowed him jokingly, earning a small laugh from Toto as well. 

Small talk ensued and before you knew it, the three of you were sat at a table, in front of what seemed like one hundred journalists and cameras. Toto was off doing his own interview for with upcoming season’s other team leaders. 

“Hi, and welcome. We will start with questions for any of these three lovely drivers… And we will start with you… Nicole from SkySports.” 

“Hello, as they said my name is Nicole and I am from SkySports. My question is for Lewis.” 

Lewis waved and nodded in agreement as she proceeded. 

“You’ve been driving with Mercedes for four years now, winning an unbelievable amount with Mercedes. Are you more nervous for the upcoming season with the added pressure of being teammates now with a Schumacher?” 

You did your best to keep your facial expression neutral. 

“Thanks for the question…” Lewis began with a grin. “No, not at all. I don’t think there is more or less pressure now. I think the amount of pressure remains the same, and that we all want to win. Regardless of someone’s name or gender - that’s why we’re here. To race and win.” 

Both Lewis and Mick fielded a few more questions about their new teammates and the upcoming season. You remained silent, trying to take it all in. 

“Hi, my name is Gabrielle. My question is for the new reserve driver.” 

Finally, you straightened your posture and gave a small and polite smile, indicating for her to go on with it. 

“My question is: Do you feel that being the first female reserve driver is being overshadowed by the news of Schumacher and Hamilton becoming a team?” 

Remain unbiased. Calm. And truthful. You tried to repeat your PR assistant’s instructions in your head as you conjured up an answer. Biting your lower lip, you finally exhaled. 

“That’s a great question, thank you. Um, no I don’t feel like anyone or anything is being overshadowed by one thing or the other. Like Lewis said, regardless of name, race or gender… I think we’re all here because we love the sport and want to be successful in it.” 

“And is it true that you have pretty much come on this journey on your own?” 

Mick immediately straightened up as he scanned the room. He was trying to make it obvious that he was on high alert now. It was no surprise that you two were childhood friends and friends even now, but he still felt overly protective, especially it being your first media day. 

“Um, yes. I live in Italy alone, but I have many friends that I care about so - I don’t think I am ever really alone.” You tried to let out a small chuckle, as your nervous played with your hands in your lap. 

“We are glad to hear have friends and have made friends, but what I was referring to was your family. Is it true that you do not have much contact with your brother and no contact whatsoever with your father?” 

“I don’t think-“ You began to blink quickly and your words began to sputter. “That’s just… I… I’m not… Uh…” Your eyebrows were pulled in a tight line as your eyes darted around the entire room. You took a deep breath and paused, but before you could say anything else a familiar voice interrupted your racing thoughts. 

“I don’t really think that’s appropriate to talk about at this time. We are here to speak about motorsports, not our personal lives.” Lewis interjected. “Whether or not she wants to answer is up to her, but let’s try to stick to Formula One, huh?” With added lightness, Lewis smiled at the flashing cameras. 

“We just are trying to get to know her better! We know a lot about your upbringing and obviously, Mick’s, but-“

“You know those things because we have both have been open about those things, or at least as open as we choose to be. This is her first day in front of all these cameras, and Lewis is absolutely correct - this is completely inappropriate. And I will have no problem leaving this interview if it continues.” Mick’s face was serious. His jaw was clenched again. Scratching his stubble that peppered his jawline, he made eye contact with the interviewer that asked you that question. “Do we all understand?” 

Hours had passed by and you were sitting alone in the hotel room. You were sitting by the window, in a comfortable chair, your makeup off and softest sweatpants on. The media day didn’t go quite as planned to begin with, but once Mick made sure there were no more inappropriate questions, it actually went quite well. You felt brave and pretty good towards the end. There was solace where you sat and relief as you looked out at the skyline. 

A knock on the door pulled you out of your day dream and as you happily toddled over to the door, the feeling of joy and accomplishment quickly left every fiber of your body. 

You felt the ground fall out underneath you, and your heart stop beating. You looked up with tears beginning to brim in your eyes, and with every breath you tried to take, your body became more and more numb. 

“So it is true. All this time, you've been in Europe.” 

Your father stood at ease in front of you, in the hallway of your hotel. He was much older than you thought, the salt and pepper stubble making it obvious he’s aged. He still wore his uniform, and clearly still was in undated with their values as he stood there - detached. He knew you weren’t going to invite him in, and truly he didn’t come here for that. And you know why he came here. 

“You saw the media coverage, I take it then.” 

He nodded, remaining stoic. Clearing his throat, he began to walk back down the hallway. But before you could run into your room and call Mick, he turned his head back and smiled at you, making everything in your body want to jump off the nearest bridge. 

“It’s a shame it had to be like this. But you’ve grown up very nicely. I’m glad to have seen you.” 

And as soon as he turned the corner to get on the elevators, you ran inside and grabbed your phone. Your hands were shaking uncontrollably, your sobs and cries filling the empty air of your hotel room. 

“Smidge? Smidge? Are you okay? I cannot understand you! Smidgen, please calm down!” Mick was panicked. He was in his own room, playing video games trying to relax and wind down for the evening. “Smidge, take a breath.” 

You did your best to breathe for a moment, and with one big breath you told him that he had found you. Mick didn’t waste any time. He even ran up three flights of stairs to get to you. Sure, the elevators could have been faster, but he didn’t want to risk that. He was breathing heavily, but he grabbed the spare room key you had given him out of his wallet and opened your hotel room. 

He spotted you in the corner of the tiny living room of your hotel room. You were pressed up against the wall, in the fetal position. Your shoulders were bobbing up and down as you internally screamed and audibly cried. You didn’t even hear Mick open the door. 

Mick made even faster time crossing the room, scooping you into his arms as he sat beside you on the floor. He knew you were in no shape to talk, and he knew what you needed. He began to rub your back and hum softly. 

“Shhhhh… It’s okay, schätzen… I’m here… I’m here… I’m so sorry, I wasn’t before, but I’m here…” 

You took a few more big breaths and finally got your heart rate down. You looked up at him, your eyes bloodshot, and your face wet with your crying. Mick did his best to catch up to wiping your tears as they fell. 

“Schätzen, I’m never going to let him breathe the same air as you ever again. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there… Fuck, I should’ve been there.” 

“Mickey… It’s alright. I didn’t even know…” 

Mick pressed a kiss against your forehead, knowing you didn’t and couldn’t finish your sentence. And what seemed like an eternity later, you finally had stopped crying. The two of you had moved to the couch and were sharing a blanket you found in the linen closet. You had your head rest against his shoulder, again dozing off. His one arm was tightly wrapped around you, his other sending off emails on his phone. He was going to do whatever it took to protect you. Soon, he put his phone down and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. He could hear your steady breathing. And as he gently moved you to lay your head on his lap instead, he got more comfortable on the couch and draped a lazy arm over your side. His fingers traced caressing circles on your outer thigh as he himself began to drift off. 

You knew that depending on him this much was not healthy, and that you should not be falling asleep on his lap. But you also knew he wasn’t going to let you go or out of his sight in the near future. You didn’t know whether to love this moment or hate this moment. 

But you knew one thing was for certain. 

You never wanted to forget it. 

[simonbrain]

going to town on yourself after a long, gruelling week of work, legs spread and your face all fucked out as the vibrator between your legs buzzes deliciously against your clit. you were using the sheets to cover yourself, but they're all soaked; oh well, it's getting stuffy anyway. best to kick them off to avoid overheating.

you're so caught up in chasing your fourth orgasm that you don't realise in the fat ass window that grants you a beautiful view of the city are two men standing on top of a suspended platform, looking right at you. the one with the mohawk gawks, his mouth hanging open, maybe even a little bit of drool seeping down as he eyes the mess between your thighs. the bigger one wearing the black disposable mask sucks in a breath, his jaw clenched as he catches sight of your pretty pink tongue sticking out of your mouth.

your glossy eyes blink open; you're so fucking close. all it takes is your focus darting over to the window where those men are intruding on your privacy, and suddenly you're squirting, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you experience the most intense orgasm in your life.

(the two window washers are still staring at you when you take a peek at them, unmoving. their intense gazes manage to snap you out of your daze, and you feel around for the remote to roll down your electric blinds before you hide your face in a pillow, your stomach still fluttering.

good luck trying to go outside to run your errands later on; you don't even make it into your car before you're cornered by the same two creeps in the car park.

maybe you should have closed the blinds before you started. oops.)

[isbergillustration]

They're talking about the weather.

[zzoupz]

I'm not super in the fandom but I think a humanoid version of AM would wear that one fish hat but with the hate pillar speech on it instead

like this

[c-tepx]

i love how in true dad's fashion chilchuck jokes are incredibly unfunny

like he's VERY good at sarcastic remarks and banter. but jokes? it's clear that he likes to spend his time in the tavern drinking

in my heart i believe that he makes terrible puns too

[gigizetz]

Everyone’s Tiresias designs now be like:

twinkfication: ACTIVATE

already brainstorming ab this

[slimeshade]

[lgbtlunaverse]

Most annoying NMJ or JC take is when someone that dislikes them is like "oh you're a fan of him? *scoff* Well obviously you've only seen cql, where he was super watered down. In the novel he's a dislikable asshole and that's the objectively superior canon I'm working from instead of your woobified fanfic." Meanwhile your main canon is novel canon and you genuinely find novel Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue complex sympathetic characters.

[aevris]

doodle of a bat/myotis sonar operator for a setting i'm rotating in my brain

[hallowshumour]

First rate town.

🌊❌️🟦🏭

[yoongikook]

Q: Does Suga have a particular charm of his own?

“I'm kind of unconventional. So the kind of people who like me are probably looking for something different. It's not that I'm outstandingly handsome, or incredibly talented." (trans)

[catbotnik]

Im so full of yuri :D

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

hi it's the good omens mascot here's some shit about me that might be relevant

I appear to have accidentally caused chaos so I figured you might as well know about me since I'm responsible for it. And also so that you know who you broke, thanks ineffable fandom.

I have been called the prophet by some of you all. This is not entirely untrue, but I would like to add as I did in one post, that Apollo also gave me the curses of art, (very emotional) music, (sometimes good mostly dreadful) poetry, (same parentheses apply, except that the dreadful is on purpose) writing and (used to be good now dreadful) medical knowledge, and so yes, you did accidently adopt a messenger of an ancient Greek god.

Yes, this entire entry into your cult happened from start to now happened in 48 hours.

This will seem less bizarre when I give you context about me and fandoms. I changed career paths (after three years of intense study that cost me my sanity) from science to the arts because I was inspired by drarry fanfiction of them leaving their ministry jobs and following their dreams. Yes I tossed three years and my loss of sanity away in one week of decisions. I'm now a designer. Thanks Draco.

I read so much drarry fanfiction that my mum had to take me to the hospital for injured wrists. I wore wrist and elbow supports and was in constant pain for a few months. I was only later introduced to autoscroll. Yes, I am a fool. Yes, I am unaware of how to human.

I'm broke and cheap enough that I feel guilty buying bottled water, but for Christmas I spent the equivalent of around 150 bottles of water getting a Bakewell tart custom made (they don't sell them where I live). Why? Because in one single fanfiction, it is Draco's favourite food. I would never spend that kind of money on a dessert for any real human being.

That is to say, you all are not ready for when I REALLY fall for Crowley. I don't saunter vaguely downwards for people. I bypass earth and crash into hell, leaving a smoking pit in its infernal ground.

I swear I'm not as dumb as I seem, I just have ZERO general knowledge, and am terrible with faces. I can tell you what the graffiti on the walls of Pompeii from before 70 AD said but I don't know who my previous president was, and personally I think that's very classy of me.

Some of you seem concerned about my sleep schedule. Worry not, I sleep in four installments, night, morning nap, afternoon nap, evening nap. I sleep more than you all, that I can promise. I sleep more than my doggy sister.

About the streams and the timezones, I have no idea how to make it so people can watch, because I frequently mix up east and west and last morning I mixed up the Pacific and Atlantic ocean. I don't know at what point the Eastern hemisphere becomes the Western or how any of it works. I also thought Wakanda was a real place.

But hey fun fact, in 2020 diclofenac sales were dropping in Iceland. I know this because I wanted to make sure to use the correct painkiller in one sentence of a story I was writing. It was completely irrelevant. But hey any of you writers here probably feel my pain. I don't write fanfiction, but I am an author and I write original stories. And honestly what is more useful, Icelandic diclofenac sales from three years ago or timezones?

A career test once told me to be a standup comedian.

Yes that's me Asmi, just your regular dumbass lad who is slightly unhinged, serving himbo twink energy, hello hi nice to meet you all. PS: the poll results are out and Doctor Who won, so tremble, DW fandom.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

“Yes,” says Edwin. “As inconvenient as the biannual reinterments are, one has to admire his commitment to remaining on this plane of existence until the Rapture.”

“We knock him down, but he gets back up again,” says Charles. With a grunt of effort, pulls the heavy, metal-bladed spade out of Edwin’s cast-iron umbrella stand. He swings it up and over his shoulder and trudges off to the Lady Defoliana Paraquat memorial garden, whistling Tubthumping as he goes.

This fic has enchanted me body and soul so I'm doing some scribbles for it 🥰💛

[annamationsart]

pursuing art might have been a mistake

[lemoonz]

Ulmo!

Drew him knowing only that his hair is sea foam Really cool guy I hope he doesn't do anything fucked up further in the book.