#in which the way i think about art is higher than my actual skill set

[i-am-a-fan]

what.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

No following; Planet of the apes fanfic Chap. 10

*Author's note*

Carver really proves himself to be an ass in this chapter so I apologize in advance if I've made him twice insufferable than he was in the movie. But it'll balance out because now Lin and Caesar will have themselves a private little moment together which I think is bittersweet.

Warnings: mentions of suicide, swearing, Carver being a dumbass, gun violence, wolf attacks.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@psychosupernatural

@queen-paladin

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I led the apes back to where I had left Malcolm and the others and I could hear one of the engines trying to start up but then voices telling the driver to stop.  Of course Carver would try to bail out at the sight of all these apes.  But as I walked down the hill I had left them at, I came up to Carver’s window and saw to no surprise a pistol in his hand.

“Put the damn gun away Carver, you’re already not popular with them do you want them to have a reason to hate you even more?”

“Shut up you bitch!”

“Wow, what are we in kindergarten now?”

“What did he say Lin?” asked Malcolm from the back seat behind Carver.  I turned to him.

“You need to give them your guns. Every single one of them.”

“You can’t be serious.” Carver sneered as he aimed his pistol higher at the apes along the trees close by.

“It’s either that or no deal. You wanna lose the dam or do you want power back on in the city? Cause I would love to tell Dreyfus and the rest of the colony that we had a shot but you chose to fuck it up. Now that’s a bonfire I would love to see.” I quirked my brow at him at my last remark.

“So we give them our guns and he’ll let us work?” asked Malcolm to confirm.

“Yes. But if anyone leaves even one gun hidden, the deal’s off.” Malcolm nodded and got out of the truck, followed by Ellie, Alexander and eventually Carver.

After surrendering all the guns, Malcolm walked over to Caesar and said.

“Thank you. We’ll need a place to set up our camp. Then by morning we’ll get started on our work.” Caesar gave them a nod then said to Malcolm.

“Follow.” He urged his horse upward followed by a few apes trailing behind him while the rest of them headed back home.  We grabbed all our camping gear and supplies and followed behind Caesar.  After about 10 minutes of walking, we finally arrived at a stable clearing with enough room to set up all our tents.

“This is good, yeah this’ll do. Thank you.” Caesar nodded then as the rest of us began to set up camp, Malcolm introduced himself to Caesar.  After he said his name a couple of times, Caesar then gave Malcolm his name and then rode off with the rest of the apes joining him.

We got our tents and equipment all set up by the time darkness settled over the forests.  I had just finished my bowl of stew and was sitting right next to Alexander who was currently drawing in his sketchbook.  I lightly peered over his shoulder and said to him.

“Propaganda.” He was currently drawing the day Caesar told us to go, but the way he had Caesar drawn was like those old propaganda political war cartoon drawings during WW2.  He slightly jumped as he held his sketchbook closer.  “If you’re gonna draw a chimpanzee, you gotta get the features correct, their actually not that different than a human’s face. Just slight more muscle and different structures of the face. Otherwise your art is nothing but propaganda, and I know you can draw better than that.”

“Were you an artist before the virus outbreak or something?” he asked me.

“A type of artist. Now I was nowhere near as skilled of an artist as you, but I did draw every now and then. Got really into drawing wild animals as a kid.” We soon heard a wolf’s howl echoing through the woods. “And that’s Toboe.”

“How can you be sure?” asked Kemp.

“He may be young but that pup’s got the lungs of a cheetah. When he howls, it’s like a long siren blaring out. That’s why I named him Toboe. It means ‘Howling’ in Japanese.”

“You also know Japanese?” asked Alexander.

“Had me a bit of an anime phase as a teenager.” I merely shrugged.

“You know the scary thing about them?” Foster soon spoke up. “They don’t need power, lights. Heat, nothing. That’s their advantage, that’s what makes them stronger. Both for your wolves and those apes.”

“Well way to kill the mood there, Foster.” I stated exasperatedly.  “And they’re not my wolves, Jesus Christ how many times do I gotta say it?”

“Malcolm, I’m thinking one of us should stand guard tonight.” Suggested Kemp but Foster pointed out.

“With what? They took our guns.”

“Believe me if they wanted us dead, they would’ve done away with us a long time ago.” I told them.

“Maybe they’re just taking their time.” Carver said gravely.  I gave an exaggerated eyeroll as I shook my head.  “They already killed off half the planet already.”

“Come on.” Ellie spoke up.

“What?” asked Carver.

“You can’t honestly blame the apes.”

“Who the hell else am I going to blame? It was the Simian Flu.”

“It was a virus created by scientists in a lab. The chimps they were testing on didn’t really have a say in the matter.”

“Spare me the hippie-dippie bullshit. You’re telling me you don’t get sick to your stomach at the sight of them? Huh?” God Carver must’ve been a real blast pre-outbreak if this is his way of thinking.  Better hope he never had children cause if he did….god he’s no better than Hunsiker was.  But what Carver would say next would really cross the line, “Didn’t you have a little girl?”

“Carver that’s enough.” Malcolm warned him.

“How’d she die?”

“That’s enough!” Malcolm yelled.

“Or your wife for that matter?” challenged Carver as he now diverted his attention to Malcolm.

“Carver you better shut up before I kick your ass.” Foster threatened.

“Get in line there Foster.” I backed him up as I glared at Carver across the fire.

“Okay, I’m the asshole.” He said putting his baseball cap on top of his head.

“No, you’re a douchebag.” I said.

“And what of you? You’re just an outsider with no family. What makes you so special to be on your own?”

“You’re gonna have to come up with a better comeback Carver, cause I’ve been asking myself the same damn question for the past ten years.” I sneered before standing up and walked away from the camp.

“Lin!” Malcolm called out to me but I refused to listen.  I came to another clearing about 30 paces away from the camp but I could still see the glimmer of the campfire and I looked up at the stars.

Yeah, why was I the only one to survive? Why me? Why just me? Mom and dad, grandpa, Caroline, Will…..why did they all have to leave me? I heard the rustle of bushes once again and I let out a soft gasp.

“Who’s there?” the bushes rustled again and slowly coming out was the large orangutan.

‘Lin?’ he signed to me.

‘Yes. What’s your name?’

‘It has been a long time, nightingale.’ My eyes briefly widened.  Only two apes have ever referred to me as Nightingale.  Caesar and….

“Maurice?” Maurice gave me a soft nod as he cooed lovingly.  “Hehe…it sure has. I haven’t been called nightingale in years.”

‘You no longer play music?’

“Sadly no. I—lost the music in me a long, long, long time ago. Even before the world went to hell.” Maurice gave a solemn tilt of his head as he grumbled softly.  “But now’s not the time to reminisce, is there a problem?”

‘No problem. Caesar asked me to bring you to him. Just you.’ I turned back towards the camp and narrowed my eyes.  I could do with a break from those guys, especially Carver.  I turned back to Maurice and signed.

‘Lead on.’ He then walked ahead and I followed close behind him. I was taken back to the heart of the Ape’s family home and taken up the large structure where I walked up the spiral staircase made of wood until I reached the very top of the structure’s peak.  Maurice turned outward and sitting at the edge on top of a large boulder that looked over the entire Ape colony was Caesar.

‘Caesar.’ Maurice grunted out with a sign of his name.  Caesar turned and the moment he saw me, he signed his thanks to Maurice and he took his leave, leaving Caesar and I alone.

I stayed in my spot waiting for Caesar to give me permission to come to him.  He then gestured to me to come sit beside him and I walked over to him and sat down beside him.  Even though it looked like the old days of the two of sitting side by side, it didn’t feel quite the same.

We were both different people than who we were in our youth, he was a strong, confident, and wise leader and I—I’m just a woman with a lot of shit and blood on her hands.

“What did you need to see me for?”

“Talk.” Caesar spoke after a moment of silence.

“Talk?” I parroted.  He gave me a nod as he turned to face me. “Okay, what do you want to talk about?” I asked.  He reached out and brushed a strand of my hair out of my face.

“New….hair.” I quirked up a smile.  I brushed through my undercut bob hairstyle I’ve adapted.

“Yeah. Being in an apocalyptic world where humans are always trying to destroy each other, long hair just don’t cut it these days. No pun intended.” I softly scoffed.  “It isn’t too much, is it?”

‘No. It’s fine. Suits you.’ I smiled softly again.  ‘Do Will and the others still live?’ he signed.  At the mention of them, my heart sunk and my throat went dry.

“They’re…..dead Caesar. All of them.” Caesar’s eyes softly narrowed but I could see the shock that was written on his face as I told him.  “Grandpa died weeks after you were taken to the shelter. Alzheimer’s finally taking him away from us. Then after you all escaped deep into the Redwoods, that’s when the epidemic struck. San Fransisco became ground zero to an outbreak that even outrivaled the Black Plaque. Caroline died within a year. It was just Will and I. After her death, we were forced to be separated and monitored incase either one of us contracted the virus. Let’s just say I now understand what you and the other apes felt being caged up. Constantly being monitored, tested and observed 24/7. But you wanna know the worst part of it all, I wasn’t informed straight away of my uncle’s death. My only living relative left and they tell me he died two months after he had passed away from the virus.”

Rage boiled in my body as I clenched my hands into the earth, my arm trembling with anger.

“After a full year of being monitored and being declared ‘genetically immune’, I was tossed out into the streets. Alone. They just….sent me on my way and didn’t care what happened to me afterwards.” I let out a deep and heavy sigh.  “I watched—my entire world burn to the ground. I saw—ugly, terrible things Caesar. Things you’d only see in movies or read about in books. I was just—drifting. And there were times when I…..” I sniffled and wiped across my nose and tried to hold back the tears, “I felt like ending it all.”

‘Why?’ Caesar signed urgently with a small grunt.

“I lost everything Caesar. I had no one left, and seeing how humanity was tearing itself apart I just felt like it was only a matter of time. Whether further down the line I would be taken by the virus, or taken out by human hands. It changed me and not for the better. I’m not the same girl I once was before and I hated myself so much for what this world turned me into.”

‘Do you still wish to die?’ he asked me.  I looked up at the night sky to see all the stars and the half moon lighting up the sky.

“Sometimes. There are some days where I do still think about taking my own life. But there’s always something that stops me from doing that.” I turned towards him, “The hope that you were somehow alive. There would be some nights when I’d tell myself, ‘Lin. If you go through with this, you better realize that this is a permanent outcome. There’s no going back from suicide. And if you go through with this, you may never get to see Caesar’s face one last time.’”

I went to reach out and touch his face but I relented and set my hand back down into my lap.

“But look at you. I mean seriously look at you and your people Caesar, you’re thriving. In numbers that I had only dreamed of. Did you ever settle down? Start a family of your own?”

‘I have a beautiful wife, and two sons.’ He signed to me, a small but proud smile on his face and a loving look in his eyes.

“I’m happy for you Caesar. Truly I am. That’s all we ever wanted of you. Even uncle Will hoped that you were happy, that you’d might settle down, have a few kids. He’d be proud of you, just like I am.” We looked into each other’s eyes and smiled at each other.

A rumble of thunder soon boomed in the distance.  I stood up and said to him.

“I should go before the storm arrives. It was great talking to you again Caesar.” As I went to leave, Caesar then spoke out my name.

“Lin,” I turned back to him.  “Never….forgot. About you. Thought of you, some nights. And remembered….your music.” I wiped my nose again and let out a soft sniffle once again.

“Nice to know the feeling was mutual. Goodnight Caesar.” I then left the ape’s nest and Maurice guided me back to camp.

After I bid him a goodnight (and he the same), I walked back to camp to see that most of everyone had gone to bed all except for Malcolm.  He was still sitting in the same spot by the fire when I had left, he looked up at me and said.

“Where’d you go?”

“Just for a walk. You know how much Carver pisses me off. You didn’t have to wait up on me.”

“I told you earlier Lin, you’re part of the colony. We look out for one another, and I won’t sleep or start anything until I know everyone on my team is present and accounted for.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’d make a damn good Colonel.” I headed back into my tent and got into my sleeping bag before popping in a few more of the sleeping pills I had managed to pack away in my pocket and fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up to the sight of 30 or so apes all waiting outside our campsite.  Some standing in front of our tents, other sitting near our dowsed campfire and the rest surrounding the hillside.

Well time to go to work.  I got dressed and walked out of my tent and saw Maurice standing outside of Alexander’s tent.  I stretched myself out and signed to Maurice.

‘Good morning.’ Maurice gave me a nod before saying.

‘We found the wolves that were with you by our home. Caesar does not want them near the ape home.’ He signed to me.  So they were close by, so that’s one good thing to know they’re not causing too much trouble.

‘I understand. They’re still wild animals but I’ll try to make it clear for them to understand to not wonder too close to the ape home.’ Maurice gave me a nod as I walked up towards Alexander’s tent.  I entered inside and gently shook the young teen’s shoulder.  “Alex? Alex, get up.” he groaned and opened his eyes.  “We’ve got a lot to get done today.”

When he took notice of Maurice staring at him from behind me, I saw him slightly tense but I told him.

“Relax, he won’t hurt you. But I think he’s taken an interest in your book.” He looked down at his graphic novel before looking at Maurice who let out a low grunt as his eyes were fixated on the book.  “Now come on, get up and ready. I’ll wake the others.” I left his tent and went to wake up the rest of the team.

I saved Carver for last as I took my canteen filled with water and dumped it all over his face.  He jumped up from the cold shock of my water and I just left without another word before he could register just who it was that did it.

“Rise and shine ladies! Time to get to work!” I proclaimed as they each crawled out of their tents tiredly.

“How do you have this much energy for so early in the morning?” asked Kemp.

“I don’t. I was trained to wake up this early, and in this world the early bird catches the worm. Or in our case, the early workers get the dam up and running. Now let’s get going they’re not going to wait up on us.” That’s when everyone finally took notice of all the apes surrounding our camp.

Of course Carver jumped out of his skin but a smack from Foster calmed him down.

“Don’t we get to have breakfast first?” asked Kemp.

“We can eat after we’ve worked. Now let’s gather what we need and get to work.” I said as I gathered up all my supplies.

“Who died and made you the leader of this mission?” Carver accused.

“She’s right Carver. We’ve only got three days to get this dam up and running. It’s best we get to work now. We can manage without breakfast for today.” Malcolm backed me up as he and Ellie left to grab their own supplies.  Once everyone had something to carry, the apes lead us back towards the dam.

I went with the guys into the dam to set up the explosives to clear off any blockage that would prevent more water from traveling through the dam’s system in order to get us the power we needed.

Carver now took over as leader since he knew all the ins and outs of how the dam worked from within.  He led us down a stairway that led to the tunnels of the dam.  Foster and I held our flashlights towards a circular door and Carver told Malcolm to turn the handle to the left three times to get it opened.

It took some grunt work since the door hadn’t been handled in over a decade but Malcolm finally got it opened.  It was a tight fit but we could all manage to get through one at a time.  Carver went first followed by Malcolm, me, Kemp and then Foster.  We could all hear the water rushing from above and as we looked up, we saw a bunch of roots blocking the water from truly flowing.

“We gotta clear this blockage, Foster start setting up the explosives, Kemp get the wire train ready to go.” Malcolm said.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on, you’re not actually thinking of setting off the explosives with us inside, are you?” I asked.

“We don’t have much choice Lin. Help Foster set up the explosives along the wall. Carver and I will try to clear a way to get through the rest of the tunnel.”

“C’mon Lin, you’re a better climber than me.” Foster said placing his hand on my shoulder.  I walked with him back through the hole and helped him set up the explosives.  We both had them up along the walls and roots above us.

Then we turned and helped Kemp connect all the wires to the main trigger while he got the fishing lure and handed it to Malcolm.

“Alright, we got as far down as we can, keep the line as straight as possible.” Malcolm told us we nodded and we then began to move further down the closing tunnel giving the line as much slack while making sure to not let anything happen to the wire. 

One wrong move and we either cut the wire from the source, or risk setting the bombs too early and we all go BOOM!  Carver army crawled both him and Malcolm (the both of them laying on what looked like an old wheeled square cart), they dragged the line as far as they could go.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s all the wire we got.” Malcolm told Carver as he immediately stopped.  “Brace yourselves.” He gave us one final warning, “Three, two, one.” Malcolm then pressed the trigger button and a muffled explosion was heard from behind the door.

But as the tunnel shook and dust sprinkled from above, I looked up and exclaimed.

“INCOMING!!” large pieces of rubble and debris from the dam soon fell on top of us, cutting us off from one another. 

I felt myself being pinned by some rubble that was on my back.  My face was barely above the water as I spat some of it out.  My chest tightened as the panic was starting to set in.  No matter what I tried to do, I was forced back into the water by the shifting weight of the debris that was on my back.

Oh god no not this again! This was just like back in the quarantine cell.  The walls felt like they were closing in around me, tighter and tighter and it didn’t help that I couldn’t move and all I could see was darkness.

“Hey��.HEY! HELP! MALCOLM! ELLIE!”

“LIN!? LIN WHERE ARE YOU!?” I heard Malcolm’s voice cry out.

“I’m pinned! I….I CAN’T MOVE! I’M TRAPPED!!” I cried out in a panic as I continued to spit out the water.

“HANG ON LIN! WE’LL GET YOU OUT! JUST STAY CALM!” Malcolm cried out again.

“Okay, JUST HURRY!! Please…..” I whimpered the last part.  I tried to lift my head above the water but it kept flowing higher and higher. 

Oh god, oh my god oh my god oh my god! This—this isn’t how I want to die. Weak and afraid, I can’t die like this, not down here! Oh God and Jesus Christ above if you have any ounce of mercy please don’t let me die down here!

I heard rubble being moved around and I saw a small beam of light coming through the cracks of the rubble.  As more of the rubble and debris blocking my view was cleared away, I saw through the large hole that was now my sanctuary a few of the apes including Maurice and Caesar.

I wanted to speak but my throat was clenched in pure panic as I looked at the apes wide-eyed pleading for help.  I saw through my blurred, panicked vision as Caesar gave the command and I saw as Maurice, Luca and another chimp proceeded to dig me out.  I felt Caesar take my hand and with the other, he kept my head above the water and had me focus on him.

Bit by bit I felt the weight of the rubble being lifted off my back.  Then once my feet were free, Caesar took my other arm and gently pulled me out of the tunnel.  I was then brought onto his back as he carried me out of the dam and the second I felt the fresh air on my face, I let out a loud gasp and rolled off Caesar’s back and onto mine.

Even though I was free, my panic attack was still happening as now all I could hear was the loud ringing and the sounds of the water nearby were nothing but a muffled sound.  Caesar’s face hovered over me as he looked at me concerningly, his hand holding the back of my head.  Maurice soon came beside me, and I saw him lift my hand.

‘Heart beating too fast Caesar.’ I managed to see him sign out.  I continued to breathe faster and faster, the air from my lungs rapidly leaving my body with each breath I took.  My heartbeat pounding in my ears along with the high pitched ringing.

That’s when I felt my head being placed over Caesar’s chest.  I could feel his chest slowly breathing in then out.  I felt him repeat the process a few more times, breathing in nice and slow before exhaling out in the same manner.  I felt my right ear being covered up and the ringing soon faded as I heard the sound of another heartbeat, a strong, steady heartbeat.

It was Caesar’s heart.  Slowly I began to follow his pace, breathing in deep before exhaling out again.  A few of my breaths were a bit sharp and shaky but in the end I was able to get my heart rate down and the world slowly became abrupt with clear sounds.

“Thank you…Caesar.” I breathed out after one last exhale.  Slowly I stood up and felt a tense pain in my lower back.  Maurice then signed to me.

‘How bad are you hurt?’

“Just some tension and throbbing pain. But I can stand up so that’s a good sign that I didn’t severe my spine down there.” I then steadily walked ahead, the two apes trailing behind me as we rejoined with the others.

Thankfully the guys managed to get out alright (well except for Carver who had a cut leg, oh well).

“Lin!” Malcolm came up as did Ellie.

“I’m fine, I can walk. Ellie, can you just check my back real quick?” I asked her.

“Yeah, yeah come on sit down.” She led me towards one of the logs as Foster handed me some water to not only drink but to clean my face off from the dust.  “Where does it hurt?”

“My lower back, right in the middle. I was pinned by a huge mass of debris when the explosion happened. I still have feeling in my legs and didn’t have any problems walking except for some tension pain.”

“That’s good news at least.” Stated Ellie.  “Do you mind if I—”

“Do what you need to do.” She then lifted my shirt up so that she could have a better look at my back.  But I also knew that she’d be the only person to truly see all the old scars I had gotten from my days in the military.  The whip marks and beatings I took when I served there.

“You uhh…definitely have some bruising on your lower back right in your lumbar area, you did get chewed up by the debris. But thankfully nothing too serious, just think of it like a road rash.”

“No wonder why I’m feeling that familiar stinging sensation. I once fell off my bike when I was nine and got road rash on my knee caps. Not a good day.” I then felt the familiar sensation of rubbing alcohol being pressed to my wound as I let out a sharp hiss but soon relaxed.

Ellie then applied some peroxide and then placed a band-aid over it when I soon felt something climbing onto my shoulder.  I turned and saw a baby chimpanzee soon staring me straight in the eye.

“Well hello.” I greeted softly.  The baby chimp soon climbed over my shoulder and soon fell into my lap.  I smiled softly as I reached out my hand and held it out for him.  He gave me hand a quick sniff before placing his tiny hand against my palm.  It barely reached the ends of the center of my palm and he hooted curiously.

I turned to Caesar who was once again on his horse and signed to him.

‘This your son?’ Caesar gave me a soft look and a small nod.  I also took notice of the younger male chimp who was eyeing me wearily.  Now without the war paint on his face, I could clearly see the family resemblance between the baby chimp and this one.  They both had Caesar’s facial structure.  And while they had a more softer appearance than Caesar did at both their ages, I could still see the similarities.

After getting to know Caesar’s youngest son, he soon left my lap and soon took an interest in both Ellie and Alexander.  Both of them were enamored of Caesar’s youngest son, and who could blame them? When chimps are little babies, they are about the cutest things on earth.  Reminds me so much of Caesar when he was this small.

I also took notice how Foster’s usual stern expression softened as he watched Caesar’s youngest son interact with Ellie and Alexander.  Even Kemp was smiling as he tried to take a better look at the baby from afar.  As the baby, went from Ellie’s lap to Alexander’s now Ellie let out a laugh and held out her finger for the baby to grab, which he did as he curiously observed it.

The baby then went down and started to play with Alexander’s sneakers.  Lifting the tongue up and releasing it to see it flick down.  Alexander even began to talk with the baby in a calm, soft voice.  But of course Carver had to ruin the moment as he demanded to Ellie.

“What are you doing? Are you finished?” he then turned his attention to Alexander and sneered, “What are you looking at?” God Carver really needs to take a fucking heel and relax.  So long as he doesn’t do anything stupid, there’s no need to be paranoid over a baby chimpanzee.  But as always with Carver, I spoke to soon.

I watched as the baby went into Carver’s suitcase and curiously begin to look through it.  That’s when my eye caught the silver gleam of a shotgun underneath the cloth the baby just pulled back.

My heart raced as rage boiled within me but before I could speak, Carver the dumbass immediately got up and screamed at the baby.

“HEY! HEY! HEY GET OUT OF THERE!” that soon led to Caesar’s eldest son to go in and defend his younger brother.  As Carver went for the baby, the young blue eyed chimp knocked Carver down to the ground with one shove.  The young male chimp screeched defensively as he began to go after anyone that came near his brother or Carver.  Knocking Kemp over then challenging getting into Foster’s face forcing him to back off

Carver then went for his case and cocked his shotgun as he aimed it at the male chimp getting his attention.

“HEY! I’ll kill you!” I immediately raced in as the male chimp gave a threatening hiss, baring his teeth.

“If you want to shoot someone then you shoot me! Look me in the eyes Carver and pull the trigger!” I held my arms out to ensure that not a single shot would harm Caesar’s first born son.

Carver growled then a blast from the gun sounded off.  But I didn’t feel any pain nor did I hear anyone, neither ape nor man, scream.  All except Carver’s. 

I opened my eyes to see that Kiba had Carver’s arm in his teeth, Tsume had him on his back pinned by the shoulders, while Hige and Toboe stood in front of me protectively snarling at Carver, their tails high up and their fur riled up aggressively.

Slowly I walked around Hige and Toboe and stood over Tsume and stared blankly down at Carver.  Kiba biting deeper into his arm as Carver continued to scream.

“Call off your damn wolves!” he hissed through his agony.

“I keep telling you they’re not my wolves.” I stated in a calm, cold tone.  “They can do whatever they please, why I could just let Tsume finally have his revenge from you shooting out his ear. Or allow Kiba to tear your arm right out of its socket, much less of a hassle then ripping apart an elk’s leg. You broke our agreement Carver, for once in your life why couldn’t you just put your damned ego and paranoia aside and follow orders like a good little soldier!?” I snapped my last command.

I continued to glare down at him with my ice, cold and soulless stare.

“But your life, is not mine to take.” I let out a whistle and Kiba released Carver’s arm while Tsume begrudgingly got off of Carver and followed Kiba to stand with Hige and Toboe.  Carver cradled his arm as I walked away allowing Caesar to come forward and just like he did a decade ago with Steven Jacobs, he stood over Carver’s pitiful body, his own weapon now turned against him as it was raised and ready to beat him.

“Don’t! Don’t Caesar no! No!” Malcolm pleaded.  Caesar was enraged.  And I felt partial blame for this since he trusted me, who knows if what I did to save his son would be enough to spare him from his wrath.

A father’s love is a strong and powerful thing after all.

He looked at the shotgun, observing it with distain and rage as he lowly growled.

“Said…..No. Guns.” He pointed the gun straight at Malcolm.  Before quickly directing it at Ellie and Alexander.

“No.” Ellie quietly pleaded as she held her hands out in surrender as Malcolm pleaded with a quiet ‘please’.  Caesar then directed his attention to Kemp who went up against one of the logs and held his hands up in surrender, before then pointing the gun at Foster who jumped back.

Caesar was at a standstill.  He was smart enough to know how to pull the trigger, hell I even saw him clench it ever so tighter each time he directed it at a new person.  But he lowered the gun and once again held it like a club before finally throwing it into the river.

Brief relief came across everyone’s face as the gun was now taken out of the picture, but that still didn’t save them from Caesar’s wrath.  He turned back to Malcolm said he to him.

“I didn’t know.” Caesar trudged forward as he youngest son came running up to him.  He picked his baby up, holding him protectively as he roared in Malcolm’s face.

“Human. Leave. NOW!!” Caesar then hooted for the apes to move out leaving us at the river’s edge.  As they left, I saw Caesar’s eldest son glare at everyone else but when his eyes turned to me he seemed conflicted.

But his confliction soon reverted back to anger as he urged his horse onward and followed behind his father.

“Carver what the fuck is wrong with you man!? Why the hell did you keep a gun with you!?” demanded Foster.

“I’m glad I did! You saw how many there were. They would’ve killed us! You just saw how he almost killed me”

“Because you attacked one of them!” snapped Ellie.

“I can’t believe you all are turning against me for them. They’re responsible for killing half of humanity already! You know it would’ve been a matter of time before they attacked us!”

“If they ever did, hope they get to you first.” I spoke up.

“Of course you’d think that. The way you are with them, the way you defend them. Hell you’ve probably known they were up here and was fucking with their leader!” I turned my head sharply towards him, walked up to him and gave him a falcon punch so hard to the face, I heard his nose break.

“So far these apes have given me more reason to trust them than to trust you. Trust any of you!” I turned my attention to Malcolm and his crew. “I believe I made myself quite clear, No. GUNS! Malcolm, you’re the self-appointed leader here. Why didn’t you check Carver’s case since you knew he’d be the one least trustworthy to surrender his guns willingly!?”

“Lin I—”

“ANSWER THE GODDAMN QUESTION!” he remained silent.  “That’s what I thought.” I sneered.  My breathing sharpened as I rubbed my face harshly and scratched the saved part of my undercut.  “I don’t even know why I took pity on all of you in the first place. From now on, I’m done with all of you. Leave these woods and give Dreyfus this message. Tell him if he dares send any soldiers here, The Hawk’s Eye will be waiting for him.”

I stormed into the woods with the pack trailing behind me.

[sollucets]

I warned you, should you open fic requests I’d be coming straight for your inbox with AkkAyan. I’m obsessed with on our way up/the sky full of stars and I wondered if you’d be willing to write something of it we didn’t get to see like their cooking date from chapter 4 or dinner at Akk’s house from chapter 3

tiis do you know i love you dearly

context from my fic on our way up:

The thing is, he and Akk had spent last night doing crimes against the culinary arts (jointly trying to make stir-fried basil pork in the tiny dorm room kitchen in a small disaster that ended in takeout) + The disaster at his dorm had been almost entirely Akk’s fault, and he’ll die on that hill.

so! as requested i took this briefly referenced incident and proceeded to project my personal (lack of) cooking skills on akk for about 1k(?? these things happen) of fluff. this ficlet brought to you by my best friend thaicookbooktv (and my milestone event. i guess)

💜

"Can I trust you with that?"

Akk glances up from the two eggs he's just started frying to glare at his boyfriend. There's a smug look on Aye's face as he leans against a counter on the other side of the cramped dorm kitchen (and thus within potential grabbing reach) and uses a little bowl to crush up some garlic and peppers (making grabbing probably a bad idea). "I know how to make eggs, Ayan."

"If you say so," Aye tells him, singsong. "I've never once seen you cook."

"That doesn't mean anything." Returning his gaze to the pan, Akk startles to see them more cooked than they should be and hurriedly, awkwardly gets them flipped before Aye gets to pretend it's evidence.

If it'd been anyone else, Akk might have admitted to the truth, which is that he does (sort of) know how to make eggs, and he can grill meat if he's invited to barbecue, but much more is beyond him. He thinks he could be good at it, with time, but he’d never learned to cook much at home, and at school he’d had so much to do that it had always been faster and easier and cheaper to have cafeteria leftovers or something instant. 

But it isn’t anyone else, it’s Aye, and when he’d asked all earnest if they could cook together when he visited, Akk had gritted his teeth and then spent most of last night and the part of the bus ride over that he had decent data on looking up recipes. 

So it’s particularly infuriating that Aye seems to have figured him out right away anyway. Akk scowls down at his eggs. 

“All set over here,” Aye says, then snorts audibly. “What’s that look for? Did the egg insult your parents or something?” 

“Shut up.”

Aye brings his bowl over to Akk’s side of the kitchen and sets it next to the other ingredients on the counter to the right of the stove. He’d only been banished over there in the first place for being distracting; Akk probably should’ve known he’d manage it anyway. 

A moment later, there’s a light breeze against the back of his neck, and Akk jerks against the tickle, barely suppressing a yelp. He’s not actually holding the pan, just his spatula, so the worst that happens to the eggs is them getting slightly jostled, but he aims a blind elbow in the direction of Aye anyway, making contact with his ribs. “Jackass.” 

“Violent authoritarian,” Aye responds, cheerful if slightly strained. “Those look good."

Once the eggs are safely off the heat, Aye hands him a larger pan, shuffling some things around on the little counter once there’s enough space. “Turn the heat up a little higher and put a little oil in there, okay?” 

Akk glances over for the bottle of vegetable oil and grabs it. His recipe-searching had turned up the idea, but Aye isn’t using one, and Akk does not know how much ‘a little’ is. He sighs, sends a sideways look at Aye where he’s putting the egg pan in the sink, and tentatively pours some oil in. 

“More than that.”

Frowning, Akk does as told. When he checks Aye’s reaction, he finds his boyfriend leaning on his hip against the counter and holding the bowl of vegetables again. 

“Were you nervous about this?” Aye asks, tone a too-familiar combination of fond and condescending.

“Why would I be,” says Akk, too quickly. Always too quickly. That’s something Aye’s pointed out before, he should know better. 

“‘Cause you wanted to impress me? I understand.” 

Akk rolls his eyes, keeping his attention on the oil where it’s heating up. “You’re extra annoying today. Is it a special occasion?” 

“Of course it is,” says Aye, tone gone painfully sincere. “My boyfriend came to see me.”

When Akk reacts far too late to keep a smile off his face, Aye pokes his cheek. “I’m happy, too,” he coos. “Now scoot, please. This next part has to happen kind of fast.”

Akk shuffles out of the way, letting Aye move in front and pour his little bowl into the pan, and sends a baleful look at Aye’s back. He’s looking far too cool in this situation; it has to be fixed. 

Decided, Akk moves until he’s right behind his boyfriend, then hooks his chin over his shoulder, looping both arms around his waist, and glances down at the pan. With the bowl poured out, something looks a little suspicious in the garlic-to-chili pepper ratio. “Aye,” Akk says, trying to make sure his breath hits the skin of Aye’s neck over his t-shirt, “Did you put enough spice in?” 

Annoyingly, Aye takes this without much in the way of reaction, only leaning back into Akk’s hold, and doesn’t even flinch. He reaches out for the bowl of meat and says, amused, “The neck is your weakness, not mine, Bigfoot.”

“That’s not an answer."

“Hey, who's the one of us that actually knows how to make it?” 

“I could figure it out,” Akk says mutinously, dropping his face all the way to Aye’s shoulder in defeat and speaking into his skin. It’s not his fault Aye is apparently some kind of cooking expert who’s never needed a recipe in his life. 

Aye laughs, just audible over the suddenly-loud sizzling sound of what Akk assumes is him adding something else to the meat. “I’m sure you could, baby, you’re smart. You just haven’t had much practice.”

“I help at home,” Akk retorts, offended. 

“I know, I know.” Aye’s shoulder moves, presumably stirring, as he continues, “You don’t need to worry about it. I’ll cook for you, so long as you always do the dishes.” 

Squeezing Aye’s waist just that bit too hard in retribution, Akk scoffs. “As if. I’ll practice more. I’m not doing your dishes for the rest of our lives.”

The sizzling gets a little louder, and Aye doesn’t respond. Akk blinks, lifts his head, and sees Aye frozen over the stove, one hand out on a bottle of soy sauce and the other not moving a spatula at all. “What?” 

“You said—” Aye starts, sounding awed. “You said ‘the rest of our lives’.”

“Oh.” Akk swallows on the impulse to deny it and just— lets it sit. Hides his face in Aye’s shoulder again and leaves it there, feels his ears heating up. What can he say? They’ve made the joke before, about their pins and wedding rings. It’s stupid, they’re teenagers, they’ve gone too fast, and he meant it, or it wouldn’t’ve slipped out.

Gratifyingly, Aye seems just as unable to speak for a moment. Eventually, he stutters, “I— that— sounds good to me,” and then, “I love you,” and then, “Oh, shit, the pork.” 

[kaylee012]

Readerly Exploration Week 1

Readings due 01/11

Tompkins Ch. 3 - "Assessing Literacy Development"

Take away: There are multiple ways to assess literacy development like standard assessment which drives instruction and also involves reflection; diagnostic tests which determine reading levels and identify student strengths and needs; high-stakes tests to make decisions like retention/promotion; and portfolios to evaluate progress and showcase best work.

Nugget: There are free readability websites to use to identify readability of any texts like http://www.readabilityformulas.com/ and classification systems that match books to grade levels like Fountas and Pinnell. (page 83)

"Advanced Readers in Reading First Classrooms: Who Was Really Left Behind? Considerations for the Field of Gifted Education" (Brighton, et. al.)

Take away: Underperforming states receive extra government resources for reading, but these resources target the lower performing students and little progress is seen in advanced readers.

Nugget: There are many strategies that can be implemented for advanced readers like faster paced instruction, the use of more advanced reading materials, compacting skill elements, and employing higher level thinking strategies. These strategies have been shown to promote greater reading growth but are rarely used in reading first classrooms and are actually against Reading First policy. (page 25)

Readerly Exploration: I think the most difficult part of my very first readerly exploration was picking a task. I chose to create a work of art in response to this article. I am in no way an artist, but I wanted to create a different way to comprehend what this article explains in so many words. I considered a few different pictures/interpretations and landed on a very simple one (although it needs explaining). I jotted down what I wanted each of the four parts of my picture to represent and include, decided to make it easier for me with stick people, and created each person a little different. (I will explain the picture in the caption.) This task definitely caused me to think about the article I read. It took a while to decide how to actually take what was in my head and turn it into a picture. I had to think about the overarching idea as well as the details to turn this 37-page article into a simple little picture. The picture might not make sense to everyone, but it helps me when thinking about the concept of advanced readers in these Reading First classrooms. I think simplifying this article in this way helped me to digest and retain the information a little better. It's funny that I can glance at this picture that would otherwise make no sense and know exactly what it means to me in terms of Reading First classrooms.

In this scene, the "government" noticed that some of these children are struggling to create artwork because of their lack of resources, and they decide to give all the children a red crayon. Some children, like Adrianna have never had a crayon, and now they can finally draw a picture. The resource she was given accomplished so much that she could go from nothing to a picture of a flower. Children like Nik had just a few crayons. The red crayon added to his artwork and made it look so much better with more color than before. Children like Sophie already had an abundance of crayons. She still used the new red crayon in her art, but it didn't do much to change the overall picture. Finally, children like Milton have moved on from crayons and are now working with professional paints. He didn't use the crayon at all in his art.

Sophie really didn't need an extra crayon; a resource that would have helped her is a set of paints, even though that might not have helped the other children in the same way. Milton definitely didn't need the crayon; in order for him to make visible progress with his art, he might need resources to begin creating three-dimensional sculptures. Sophie and Milton are still doing exceptionally well with their artwork, but they're not making any visible progress because they are being given the same resources as Adrianna and Nik. In addition, Adrianna and Nik might have also excelled in their artwork if they were given things like paints that might seem too advanced for them.

[cheapcourses]

How you can Discover Cash Making Prospects In Below 20 Minutes Utilizing Confirmed Linkedin Workflows and Searches What do you be taught from writing, sending, and testing a whole bunch upon a whole bunch of emails making 1000's of calls and sending 1000's of Linkedin messages to prospects? A LOT And that is what I wish to share with you at present. I've basically condensed 8 years of full-time prospecting and studying right into a 60 minute Linkedin crash course. That is lower than watching a present on Netflix these days. And guess what? By the point you are completed with this crash course you'll earn more money. Are you able to say the identical factor about watching Sport of Thrones? Utilizing the Pareto Precept I've targeted solely on the kinds of Linkedin utilization that actually matter. That means you do not have to wade by means of all of the bullshit making an attempt to determine what works and what would not. I've completed all of the leg be just right for you and know EXACTLY what sort of methods to make use of LinkedIn to usher in the conferences and methods to prospect in simply 10 to twenty minutes. Utilizing Linkedin gross sales navigator accurately might be one of many single best technological expertise you possibly can be taught in gross sales, whether or not you personal a enterprise or work as a freelancer or work as an worker. But so few folks have truly mastered the artwork. Oddly sufficient, you do not should be a technical wiz to tug this off. Anybody can do it, even in case you have zero technical expertise They suppose prospecting must take hours to do, comply with a unfastened prospecting construction and spend tons of time clicking by means of pages in search of "Scorching leads." And even worse, spending 1000's upon 1000's of dollars on crappy databases that if you begin cleansing their emails, you solely find yourself with a couple of legitimate emails! Now, I'm not saying databases haven't got a spot, however most simply do not meet the reduce. And let me let you know a secret... The place do you suppose most databases get their emails? ... Nicely, LinkedIn! All it's essential to perceive is a couple of key rules. Then use these rules whereas following confirmed assembly producing "workflows" and "searches" to create profit-pulling lead lists/contacts/accounts on demand. So how will you be taught these key rules, the Linkedin secrets and techniques I've found, and get your fingers on these confirmed Linkedin workflows and searches? I've taken all the pieces I've ever discovered about Linkedin and all of the data I gained from operating a whole bunch of checks and plenty of consultations and condensed it right into a 1 hour Linkedin crash course known as The Linkedin methods course. Might you be taught all this by yourself? Perhaps. It is potential however I'm not actually certain... You *may* create a listing of over one million leads, ship them a whole bunch of emails/Inmails for 8 years, take a look at as much as 8 variations for each message, pour over the take a look at outcomes for hours on finish, and distill what you've got discovered right into a set of rules, constructions, and formulation that anybody can use to seek out Certified leads. Look you are welcome to spend $10k a yr on Seamless.ai for a measly 1000 leads with 90% being invalid, however if you wish to discover ways to do with lower than $100/mo. You then wish to stick round for the following 2 minutes... In case you take this course and be taught all of this in simply 60 minutes, WHILE I maintain your hand by means of the method step-by-step, assist create a number of the most correct lead searches you possibly can create, AND get confirmed constructions and formulation you need to use to create assembly producing lead lists in any area of interest, regardless of how small or giant. Here is simply a few of what you may be taught inside: The last word secret to getting good at creating killer searches FAST (as soon as I began doing this I discovered my outcomes skyrocketing and the standard of my searches enhancing dramatically whereas having a TON of enjoyable.) The little-known filter that will get larger reserving charges, and SALES than some other. (Plus, the precise components for doing it at scale.) One of the best day of the week to ship Linkedin requests and messages and (as soon as which day it's it’ll make good sense and also you’ll be kicking your self for not realizing it earlier.) How you can create MASTER filters and save a whole bunch of hours per yr The precise quantity of phrases your Inmail messages needs to be (I've by no means seen a google Inmail e book conferences with greater than this quantity of phrases) How you can observe when a brand new HOT lead An "fool proof" components for locating HOT leads that e book conferences How you can get notified when firms get new funding rounds the moment it turns into information Plus, a complete bunch extra... Here is What You will Obtain When You Get the Linkedin Sales Navigator course At this time ALL the above + 15 classes on the BEST methods to make use of Linkedin you will not discover anyplace else Entry to a personal discord neighborhood with entry to myself to reply any questions you may have The precise day-by-day workflow to make use of Fixed updates to the course

[natalieironside]

Hey Natalie, I was wondering if you had any guides you used for self publishing? I've written like..... 2 and a half kissing books and I'm considering publishing them for fun and profit 😳 if not nbd, I am proficient in google, I just have trouble figuring out how much of that grind mentality is actually important.

I'm mostly blundering my way through this myself, but I'll give it a shot.

No matter what anybody tells you: Once you've written the book and cleaned it up for publication, the hard part's over. My sales as a self-pub author of extremely niche fiction are already way higher than I expected, and none of the work I've put into marketing has been half as much time or effort as actually creating the thang dings.

If you have the money, hire an editor. The Last Girl Scout was a self-edit (on account of I didn't and don't have the money), and while I am still very happy with it, it's nowhere near the book it could've been as a consequence--as many Goodreads reviewers will tell you.

I also recommend hiring a formatter. You can do your own formatting if you're like a nerd who knows about computers and stuff, but it's a lot of work and not everybody has that skill set. Also, like with editing, it is very very easy to overlook mistakes when it's your own work your dealing with. Here I'm gonna plug @kodyboye, who's formatted all the stuff I've sent to print and does excellent work (also fast as hell; iirc he had like 24-hour turnaround on the typescript of TLGS, which is a 600-page leviathan).

Once you've got your formatted files and cover art (which is a whole 'nother kettle of worms that I do not feel qualified to get into, I have An Associate who handles that for me), self-pub is as easy as hitting a button if you use Amazon KDP or as easy as hitting 3 or 4 more buttons if you use another service. Then you'll have a book and you'll be like "Wtf I'm an author."

(note on the above: Do not fuck w/ any service that asks you for money. Pay-to-play publishing services are 100% a scam; a publisher or publishing service asking an author to pay them is literally the same thing as your boss making you pay to come to work)

As for marketing: If you don't have the budget for paid promotions (which I don't and I'm assuming most ppl reading this don't), the best thing you can do is to Be A Person On The Internet. I'm lucky b/c I'd already developed a not-insignificant following from being a weird nerd Tumblr shitposter before I had to make a book happen, but you can speedrun that by just being generally active on your blog. In addition to whatever your regular blog content is, post samples of your work, talk about your creative process, be ready to talk about your books A Lot even on those days when it feels like nobody else is, and follow tags like #writeblr and #bookblr. (I'm also gonna tag in @thebibliosphere who is an A+ Tumblr follow and way better at this game than me)

I also very recommend joining a trade organization; I've been a member of the Horror Writers Association for a little over a year now and it's pretty great being automatically plugged into a network of other ppl in the industry.

And for broader-scope industry networking w/ people who are also very very invested in Writers Getting Paid For Their Work, I encourage (that is: beg) everybody who's even thinking about putting pen to paper to join the Freelance Journalists Union:

Hope this helps <3

[howtofightwrite]

One of my characters is a strong swimmer and a highly skilled ballet dancer. He’s also very accustomed to riding horseback due to it being the main source of travel on his home island. What kind of skills would he have that would transfer well to battle-style combat?

Additionally what kind of weapon or fighting style would suit him best (whether battle-style or one-on-one)? He’s well balanced with a very strong upper body and core, and around 5 foot 9/10.

And if I can push for one more question, where dyou think his weaknesses could lie?

The big advantage here is physical and mental conditioning. We've said before a few times, but there's no direct crossover between ballet and martial arts. But, there is an indirect overlap, if you have experience with ballet, then you already have the ability to commit to physically strenuous training. You're already used to keeping yourself at a higher level of physical fitness than (nearly) any martial art will require.

To an extent, swimming is just more endurance training. Again, as with ballet, you're talking about something that is beneficial for its physical fitness routine, and may offer some significant mental discipline going in, so that will help them learn to fight, but on its own it won't help your character be a better fighter.

Weapons are, “whatever.” None of this determines what weapons your character could be trained in.

Horseback riding has applications, specifically, if your character fights from a mounted position. That can also inform weapon choices, specifically weapons that can be used effectively from horseback. But, if your character is on foot then the horseback riding isn't going to be an especially relevant background.

Now, a, “best weapon,” question can be a little tricky in cases like this, because there's one very critical piece of information missing: How advanced is the technology? Because I'm pretty sure your character wasn't planning to carry a phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range. I can make a guess, Ballet dates to the Renaissance, so probably 15th-16thcentury. Which, in turn probably means a light dueling blade, maybe a rapier or espada, possibly also with a flintlock pistol as an additional weapon, though that could be expensive. This is all guesswork contingent on: I really don't have enough information to answer this part of the question, the technology of your setting (especially if your setting had something called, “ballet,” at a much earlier level of technological development), means you could be talking about a bronze age character who would be picking between a kopesh or xiphos.

As for weaknesses, time and age are going to be brutal. The harder you use your body the faster you wear it out. Over time, as you age, the injuries you sustain and the simple wear and tear you suffer, will become harder to heal from and eventually they will start stacking up. If you want to make ballet your career, you have maybe 15-20 years as a dancer before your body is so wrecked that you can't do it anymore. Martial artists in their 30s will start to suffer serious joint issues. Simply put, when you commit to that kind of training, it will tear your body apart. Add actual combat to the mix, and it gets significantly worse, as that wear and tear, even without actual injuries, adds to the overall strain.

I don't personally have a lot of information on exactly how much swimmers suffer from this. Though if they're engaged in serious, competitive, swimming, expect that this is an even further strain on their body. Incidentally, if this is ocean swimming, that can be extremely dangerous, depending on the geology of the region, which, in turn, could result in even further physical strain (assuming it doesn't kill them outright.)

Stacking all these skills together might sound like an ideal way to “min-max,” your character, but they come with real costs. Any time your character spent learning ballet, riding around the island, or swimming off the shore is time they didn't spend learning to fight, or do any of the other three things. In fact, it could result in someone who is a bit scattered, flitting from one diversion to another without really committing to (or benefiting from) any of them.

The more things you try to do with a character, the less time they have to do any of them, and as a result, the less they can specialize in the things they're doing. A character who spent ten years studying dueling with a rapier, will be a better fighter than a character who spent ten years studying ballet, dueling with the rapier, swimming off the coast, and horseback riding around their idyllic, tropical paradise. Now, the latter will be a better rounded individual, with a more diverse range of knowledge, but they will an inferior fighter. That's fine; that's the tradeoff they made.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get early access to new posts, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

[leos-regression-cove]

A Proposal

I have dreamt of, for a very large part of my life, before I even knew what age regression was, opening a daycare for littles, and I think I may have just worked it out enough to share with the world and gauge interest for (be aware, this is YEARS away from development, and I still need to graduate high school, get my degree and teaching certification first)

So the concept is a Waldorf based regressor school.

Let's talk about what this means:

Why a Waldorf based foundation?

Although Waldorf and Steiner education has a troubled, to say the least, past, I think it might be the best method of education for littles there is.

Why?

Most littles who'd be coming to me, already know their numbers, letters and colors. By using Waldorf curriculum, more new skills could be introduced to keep tots away from boredom!

Take a look at the way things are taught!

And this doesn't even include preschool and kindergarten, which tend to be much more open ended towards exploration and play. (Guidelines below are VERY strict, and I do not plan on following them entirely, it's more just as a base)

By working through things that wouldn't normally be taught in a traditional public school setting, like foreign languages (here in my little spot of California), knitting, and woodworking, littles will be actually learning something and not just rehashing old knowledge! This is especially important for when we think about regular attendees who's headspace may not grow up, even as they stick with the program for multiple years, these skills and hobbies are malleable and can grow with them without outgrowing them.

Plus, the heavy usage of outdoor time and movement will keep littles healthy and happy, and the emphasis on practical skills will transfer over into the adult world like cooking and sewing.

What would make this program Waldorf-based and not just pure Waldorf?

Quite a few things actually!

-Usage of technology! You can expect opportunities for online learning if we have a distance program, and movies and tv shows on rainy days, especially in our after school program.

-No weird ceremonies. Waldorf schools are almost infamous for their weird, cult-y ceremonies, you won't find any of that here.

-No more knowledge restriction! Waldorf students are held back from specific practices until they're deemed ready. Not here. Read all you like despite your 2 year old headspace, paint with any or all the colors you want, even if you're still a preschooler. Have an interest in Euclidian geometry at 6? Great! That's totally cool! I have plans to try to make even the higher grade lessons available to littler students, and books are always welcomed and encouraged. Activities and lessons will tend to vary more on a day-by-day basis than an age-by-age one.

-No Eurythmy. That's a style of dance or expressive movement based more around feelings and the specific sounds of a piece of music or poetry. It may be touched on? But the information online about it is sparse. As of now, I do not plan on emphasizing it over other styles of dance or PE. That may be subject to change when I look into getting my teaching certification, but as of right now, it feels a little pseudo-science-y, and from what I've heard from peers who took it, it wasn't very fun.

-Spontaneous lesson plans led by student inquiry! I've been reading about this in my Early Childhood Ed textbook, and I think when dealing with a class of littles, it might be really nice to cover some topics by suggestion and not just stick to the stiff, narrow, subjects listed above. Let's branch out!

- No rights and wrongs to art! Waldorf is known for its restrictive art. Only paint a certain way, only draw a certain way or certain things. Of course, of you like, you'll be given the opportunities to learn these techniques and concepts, but if you want to draw your sparkledog oc during art time or make fan art of a character you like instead of watercolor flowers or gnomes, you're more than welcome to. Art lessons are for community building and your own enjoyment.

What services would you plan to offer?

Assuming I'd be able to do this as a full time job, with separate facilities than my home, and have other staff members with me, I'd like to hopefully offer:

- Daycare sessions (full school day, 8:30AM-3:30PM) covering headspaces ranging from toddler-hood through second grade two to three days a week.

-An open session day where students who may not be enrolled yet and press are allowed and encouraged to come explore (separate from daycare sessions to protect privacy)

-One on one sessions or smaller groups by appointment (best for smaller littles, like 0-2, or littles with anxiety who may want a caregiver close by)

-After-work-care for littles of all ages from 5-9PM 3-4 days a week.

-I'd love to have some kind of long distance option? But I'm really not sure how that would work out. But if you have any ideas for it or know how to set up a Discord, maybe we can go from there and get it started ASAP before anything else.

This project is not affiliated with any K!nk related activities, and any sexual misconduct would result in an immediate banning, just like k!nksters interacting with this post will result in immediate blocking.

So feel free to add on, this is just a spitball-ed idea I'm tossing out into the world to see what others think since it's been something I've been thinking about and tinkering with for over decade. It might not be totally realistic right now, but I know my community has a market for it.

If you have any other ideas or questions, I'd love to answer them and talk this through because that's what's going to get this off the ground.

I think it could be a really cool project and something I wouldn't mind dedicating my life to.

[banqdanfnfic]

which, as they kiss, consume | jjk

you just wanted to get a tattoo from your boyfriend

pairing: tattoo artist!jk x reader

genre: established relationships au, tattoo artist au, smut

word count: 4k

warnings: unprotected sex, biting, making out, grinding, licking, nipple play, jk has a lip ring, oral (f receiving), fingering, shy jk and oc, sexual tension, slight choking, slight aftercare

�� : Streets by Doja Cat, Candy by Doja Cat

♡ Aesthetics: Playlist | Moodboard

He visibly chokes on his glass of beer as he almost snaps his neck to meet your gaze. He could say that you were awfully drunk and hence the sudden confession out of the blue, but behind your heavy lidded eyes, Jungkook could sense that you were serious.

“You what?”, he gulps abruptly, moving closer to your face, doe eyes pleading to repeat yourself.

“Yes Kook. I want that tattoo on my breasts. I’ve decided”.

It’s not that Jungkook didn’t have experience in his career with inking on different parts of a human body. He just had never given a tattoo to someone who is romantically associated with him and the thought of seeing you half naked made him chuck down the rest of his drink in one go.

The most physical he had ever gotten with you was a kiss shared occasionally since it’s only been over two weeks you had started dating. Okay maybe you made out once in his car but that’s it. It never got to the point of shedding clothes or anything intense.

“Are you sure?”

You giggle at the sudden hoarseness in his voice and nod positive. Ironic how his aura never matched his personality. His inked skin, athletic body proportions covered in black monochrome bad boy outfits gave out default energy that he is a local heartthrob with multiple chicks wrapped around his finger each night and a heavy demeanor to carry in his smirk.

You were one of those believers until Jungkook asked you out in the most hopeless romantic way possible after constantly visiting the café you work in, a few shops besides his parlor. He was a gentleman with respectful boundaries, warm hands to hold yours and sweet sensual kisses though you are pretty sure he probably has a good game.

For any outsider it looked like those cliché bad boy and shy girl love stories, but for real both of you were a good percentage of introverts.

Jungkook runs his tongue around his lip ring while he is stressfully ruffling his dark locks into a mess. He is trying to explain his reasons to postpone your decision considering how shy he got at this point. But then that’s exactly why you were requesting him with soft eyes, it would be so uncomfortable to be shirtless in front of anybody else. Or maybe it’s your way of saying the relationship is open for higher levels of physical affection.

After debating around in vain, he finally hums and clears one of his slots for his beloved client.

Friday approaches way quicker than you assumed and now your heart is beating in your throat. Right after you are done cleaning the tables, you have to make it to Jungkook’s parlor for your appointment.

Running on three hours of sleep, black under eyes even after a decent amount of makeup, you groan as you check yourself out in the mirror. You opted for a simple shirt and skirt (also known as the outfit you bought for occasions with Jungkook), light beach waves resting on your shoulders. Hoping that a few cups of coffee will save you, you stride across the street to stop before the infamous parlor he worked in. Hopefully the full body shave and chocolate body butter has kept its excellence on your skin below the clothing.

The door chimes as it opens with a dragged creak on the musky wooden flooring. It felt like an otherworld where air smelled like men’s perfume and faint tint of cigarettes. In other words, intoxicating.

You ask the first person you meet at the reception, one of Jungkook’s companions at the shop and he assists you to his cabin located at a comfortably remote location.

His space is hidden with a simple black curtain. You are met with Jungkook’s back facing you, working determinately on a client’s arm and cares to spare a glance only when the guy with you is informing him about your presence.

“This will be over in a few”, he grins to your face and goes back to focusing his coil on the skin of a woman in her late twenties laying down his chair. The vibration from his inking machine fills in the silence and you excuse yourself to sit on a small black couch beside them.

This was the first time watching him at work and now you can understand why people rumored so much about his attitude because damn it is intimidating.

Brows knit together and inked muscles flex as he drags the needles around for finishing touches. Meanwhile you can pretty much smell the drool from the woman who is shamelessly checking out your boyfriend. Though you are pretty sure Jungkook gets such glances more than he can count every day, you can’t help but feel jealous. Partly because of the childish possessiveness and partly because you want to be the reason behind his dark eyes and intricate concentration, in profession or not.

To stop from mentally throwing daggers on the client’s way, you grab a random fashion magazine from the side table and flip through pages, though other four senses are inclined on your man. With a close attention to his low sigh you conclude that he is done.

The customer with now a fresh tattoo on her arm is discussing random useless topics to get him to talk, a very vain job realizing how Jungkook doesn’t bat a friendly lash at anybody, especially to those who hit on him. To be honest a large part of the ink business was linked with the obsession to attractive people who worked here, even if it meant trading an area of your skin. You grip the edges of the magazine a bit hard, not able to contain the sanity particularly at the high pitch voice she mumbles in before finally leaving his cabin.

A little excited and a lot nervous, you stand up as Jungkook bids goodbye to the third person.

He is quick to notice your discomfort, though not sure if it was the woman or the thought of finally getting the tattoo, he knew you were nervous and surviving in several cups of espresso by the dark circles slowly showing through the faded layers of your concealer. But nothing pulls down the opinion he has about you, beautiful and simple, no dramatics attached.

“Hey are you okay?”

You nod as soon as you sit down on the black tattoo chair, shifting a little to find a comfortable position. He is taking out a box full of equipment and fine needles, already making you break a sweat at the side of your forehead.

But more than that, it’s the way he is sharp and professional that catches your attention more.

You have never seen Jungkook this serious before. The choice of his vetiver perfume digging through your nostrils was driving you insane. If he doesn’t smile soon, you are going to melt into a puddle at his gaze.

“Are you nervous?”, he smirks this time, a newfound reason for your worsening gut health.

It’s mostly going in cycles at this point. Every bit of his skilled motion causes a vigorous hormonal reaction which initiates his next set of effortless teasing.

“I’m a little nervous”, you say, fiddling with your freshly painted nude nails.

“Me too”

It’s something you least expect to come out of his mouth observing how confident he looks right now. He basically has you cornered with his gaze. But whenever he had been truthful about his emotions it felt like a hug.

“I can take off my shirt too, so that we are even. Is that okay?”

He said it so softly like he is handling a child and the duality of the situation had your mind fogged and limbs frozen for a few minutes.

“Yeah it’s okay” It’s far beyond than okay. It’s great actually.

Jeon Jungkook is ripped, a Greek God sculptured masterpiece covered in self designed artwork you are more than happy to wake up to every morning. He hears you gulp at the feast before your eyes while he discards his black t-shirt to a nearby chair.

Now you don’t know if this whole thing is supposed to warm your heart or make you play several erotic fantasies like a movie before your eyes.

Both of you share a small smile while his long fingers are tugging at the hem of your shirt and pulling it up over your head.

He almost wishes you don’t opt to wear a bra but he is met with lacy black, a-bit-over your-usual-budget fabric hugging the roundness of your breasts.

It seemed like you were way too competitive about today. Anything less than complete awe from Jungkook for you was straight disappointment, you don't want anything less.

Well it seems like it did from how blown his pupils were at this point. He peels his gaze off your chest with a sharp gulp to look at your eyes suddenly devoid of any fear and staring back at him with all ease. He is filled with an exapnse of warmth and he isn't sure why does spending just a little amount of time with you had such a grip on him. He can’t wait to propose the idea of getting a couple tattoo together soon and as far as you know how Jungkook is, he is very serious with his body art so apparently he does trust you a lot already.

“Where exactly are you trying to get it?”, his voice is a lot deeper suddenly as he waits for your fingers to guide to his canvas.

You softly trace the spot at the upper circumference of your right boob, “Here”.

You suck a breath through your nose as his own fingers are mimicking your gesture, lightly pulling down the lace to inspect the fitting of the design at hand.

These violent delights have violent ends

And in their triumph die, like fire and powder

Jungkook traces each word on your burning skin, now leaning dangerously close which was questioning your control to put your palms flat on his pecs. He doesn’t notice that though, his mind is busy creating his own fantasies about the women under him.

After two minutes and twenty four second long of inspection and mutual thirst, Jungkook is selecting a bunch of needles to set into the rotary machine. Five fine sharp like a painter's brush moves in and out at a set regularity as Jungkook tests it out.

The next of his actions had you flushed into a pool of crimson. He gently lifts up your resting torso with one hand while the other is unclasping the hook of your bra, making you half naked for the sake of the tattoo.

"I'm going to start", he says shyly.

You still have time to save yourself from the growing phobia for the object, but another unlogical part of your brain says it's a piece of cake considering you have a whole distracting full course meal in front of you.

It stings at first. Well, okay it hurts like hell but your face is devoid of any indication, except your right hand is gripping on the rim of the chair for dear life.

Jungkook on the other hand had never felt this much diversion of mind during his work. He knows that you are probably hurting very badly, especially for a first timer. He is biting into his lip ring, trying to get this over with for the well-being of your pain and his hormones.

After he had scribed one word into your dermis, you are no longer able to contain the ache so you give out a small squeak out of your glossed lips and the vibration of the machine at his hands stops as he looks at you.

"You want me to stop? ", he is relaxing his face as he cups yours with one hand. You don't want to answer that question, but the drumroll of the current situation is making your heart flutter and everything about the little burn on your chest is forgotten.

"No. It does hurt but I'll be fine I guess", you whisper. His breath is mixing with yours slowly as he is leaning more towards your face. If it isn't for a kiss then you are likely to be disappointed.

"It'll be over before you know it. I'll make it quick", and then he kisses you, a small act to get off the pressure of sexual tension between your bare upper bodies.

Before you think of any tongue in the act, he is breaking off the contact and returns to his position on your chest. He misses the pout that forms on your mouth but right now both of your heads are in cloud nine.

The pain starts again, only this time you are busy reliving how his lips felt in yours; soft, firm and controlled.

You gasp when you feel one of his hands cupping your right breast to further his design but it's lowkey an act empowered by lust which is straining behind the so called professional eyes.

You just sit there flustered out of your mind and then Jungkook is suddenly squeezing, full palm hiding your breasts like it's a protected treasure, but he isn't showing the slightest facial expression other than determined eyes and his lower lip caught between his teeth.

Fuck you can't take it anymore. Jungkook can feel your nipples harden against his hand and his brain isn't helping much to concentrate on the design. But by the grace of some positive karma left on his side, he makes it through the long text and when he is letting go of your chest and standing tall, your skin is popping out with redness on the places the text lays embedded.

He fishes out a mirror for you to look.

"It looks beautiful thank you Jungkook", you smile.

"Can I give you one more tattoo on your left one?", he asks while you are contemplating whether going through the pain is worth it, not to mention you really want to get back at a private space with Jungkook as soon as possible.

"It won't hurt I promise", and then he is kissing you a lot filthier than before; all tongue and teeth, while his hands are grazing on the skin of your waist, pressing a little firmer than before.

The coldness of his lip ring rivaled around your mouth, and you try sucking on it to which Jungkook responds with a growl and pushes his body adamantly against yours.

Skin to skin, you are lost in euphoria of everything happening and finally, you roam your eager hands around his body, to his pecs and the definition of abs.

As your fingers scraped against his scalp, Jungkook is biting eagerly down your jawline to your collarbone and continues his ministrations at a particular spot which is bringing out melodic moan variation from you.

He is going down your skin, licking on your left boob before he starts planting violet tattoos as he had promised. As if it couldn't get better, he is massaging the right breast, in a way to soothe pain.

He loses it when you stutter his name, but he is just a fucking tease when it comes to making love and doing anything in a public space is the last thing he wants to do. There isn't much room for all that he wants right now.

"Why did you choose this particular tattoo Y/n?", he rasps while he is planting small pecks on his artwork, and you reply when he is finally eye level with you

"I just felt like it's a good one", your breaths are uneven and mostly caught in your neck. He pecks your lips before speaking, "Those are lines from Romeo and Juliet".

He takes your hands to trace over a line of text among the many designs on his chest.

which, as they kiss, consume

"We pretty much have a couple tattoo now Y/n", his breath is matched with your pace and you are not very sure how to respond to this new knowledge.

"That's… hot"

You break into giggles along with him, he just can't stop dragging his lips around your skin, but he isn't able to word his feelings right now either.

"I have some aftercare healing ointment for the tattoo at my place, wanna come over?" Now that may be a little lame of an excuse to get his little friend out of his pants but you are too unfazed to analyse any of that.

His hands find place on your ass under the skirt as soon as the door to his apartment closes, and before you know it, you are in his bedroom, sitting on the soft mattress and tongue lost devouring each other.

While eagerly getting rid of every article of clothing, Jungkook notices that you don't have your bra on beneath the shirt, so it's probably back at the parlour, but none of you have the slightest care for it, might as well make an excuse with it later to fuck you in his cabin.

He is pushing you farther towards the headboard, him on top, grinding sensenslesy while your lips mould with his. Though he has his whole body pressed against you, you can't seem to feel his weight at the slightest, every one of his actions were just balanced and perfect.

As Jungkook goes down on you, his smile is evident against your skin, finally able to find out how every one of those scenarios in his head will come to look like. He lets out a satisfied hum being finally able to suck on your tits, your fingers finding place on his hair, twisting it out of stimulation.

His pelvis is flushed harshly against yours, grinding and rubbing against your pussy for as long as he is rejoicing the feeling of moving his tongue around both the nipples.

He stops rubbing after some point and you whimper at the loss but his fingers are soon to meet your core as a quick apology. All your later moans are muffled on his mouth once again.

Feeling the controlled movements of his fingers on your clit, you dig your nails down on his toned shoulders. It's becoming impossible to reciprocate his lewd movements of tongue on your lips at this point as the excitement between your thighs is growing every passing second.

Your mouth remains slightly parted as he removes his face to watch you squirm underneath, lips swollen, deep red and glossy from all the saliva.

He pecks at the shell of your ear before going down past your navel.

You haven't had much heads in the twenty years of your life, most of the guys being completely against the idea which made you feel insecure to bring up the topic in bed, but Jungkook does it like his life depends on it.

He growls at the sight of you dripping into his sheets and he seems to enjoy the idea of being the influence behind it. But none is going through your head at the moment, not the metal on his lips grazing against your folds, or the fact that Jungkook is grinning each time you cry his name, it feels unreal to feel something like this.

His mouth is wrapping against your entrance and he is balancing your lower body on his palms to help him reach the right depths inside you. While all you can muster up is the strength to grope the bedsheets in your fist and close your eyes at the pleasure.

Jungkook brings his head higher to give some attention to the throbbing clit, catching it between his teeth and triggering the bundle of nerves just the perfect dose to have your hips jolting up to his face.

He can't take it himself when you are now whining and chasing for your release, so he is slightly humping against the bed to get some friction.

He licks a slow stripe up till your abdomen and slowly raises to your face, already fucked out and dishevelled to keep up with his dominant orbs.

He swears he had never felt so much warmth and care for sex with any of his previous partners, in relationship or not, all he could think is how good can he treat the pleading eyes underneath him.

"Is there something you like that you want me to do?", he says, fingers grazing once again to your crotch to not deny you from his contact. Only this time he is exploring the tightness of your pretty cunt with two skillful fingers.

Is there? You are not sure. Or in other words you are too caught up at the sense of him fingering you. It's not like you had enough experience or people who cared enough to ask that question. It astounds you that never in this entire foreplay he asked for any favor for himself.

"I'm not sure…", you whisper and then maybe you have something on your mind " um I guess I would like to be choked" Okay this felt embarrassing.

He smiles before sliding his free hand from your lips to your neck, and applies slight force, careful to not hurt you in the slightest bit.

"Is that fine?"

"Yeah", you muffle through the decreasing course of air.

He pulls up your face by the throat to attach lips once more. He just can't seem to get enough of kissing you senseless. Then, the tip of his long ignored cock is teasing the length of your pussy twice before it's stretching you out to the brim.

Bodies flushed and hot, his pace is deep and slow, making sure to kiss the cervix every time he is inside.

He watches as your eyes close shut and flutters around whenever he is grazing against your sweet spot. Both of your ears lost and eager for the moans looming out of each other, his more like what he sounds at the gym. Nice observation Y/n.

In this span of sexual energy you shared, you can make some obvious conclusions. Sex with him was surreal, both in terms of domination and the care he had. Rocking against him and keeping up with his hips was attainable— Compared to the intense eye contact he tries to hold, or the way he cups the side of your face and rubs the pad of his thumb on your cheeks while he kisses you during sinking back in, or the way his eyes glow at the beauty of your body open for him. It makes you feel special and it's difficult to respond to these gestures when you never felt this way before.

Jungkook could tell that from your face, but he hopes he lasts with you enough to help you know the worth you hold. You couldn't think too much about anything when you are busy squeezing around his length and coming twice in the first ten minutes.

By the third orgasm Jungkook is nearing his own and he pulls out to pump a few times before coming on your stomach.

"Was it okay?", his voice is all over the place, still balancing his body on his arms while you are amazed by his strength.

"It was amazing Jungkook", you smile. You have known a lot about Jungkook over the few dates you spent with him. That he likes literature, classics and philosophy, designs tattoos as a subconscious thing, that his game is A-1, and he likes working out almost three hours a day. Good for you. But it wasn't until now you know him to be gentle, like he is afraid to crush you under a feather touch. You don't know him as someone who is staring deep into your face after a good fuck, speaks nothing, smiles widely, and plants a peck on your forehead before getting off the bed.

He does the honors of cleaning both of your bodies with a towel, it's not like you have any strength left in you anyway. And then pulls out an ointment from the bedside table and plops next to your body.

"There. You need this to protect the tattoo", he takes off the nozzle and applies a required amount against the words on your chest and massages against them.

"Now go to sleep Juliet", he mocks, pulling up the sheets over you both "good night".

You snuggle against his hard chest, kissing his pecs before resting on it, "Good night Romeo".

thank you so much for reading!! please leave a feedback!!

★ taglist: @pjmochii (dm, ask or comment to enter the tl!)

★ credits: @/rainbeary on spotify : songs that'll make you feel everything's in slow motion playlist

★ banner & boards: by me :)

a/n: this is my first time writing smut and i basically died of second hand embarrassment during the process. pardon for my untalented ass, i tried this wip continuously for a week and i seriously don't think it could get anything better though it's probably not much.

© banqdanfnfic 2021, all rights reserved. do not modify, translate, or repost my works. modification, translations, and/or redistribution of my works on any platform is strictly prohibited.

[writing-in-april]

Manicured

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary: Spencer finally lets Reader do his nails.

A/N: Another short cute fic here for my twenty-sixth fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April!! I wanted to make it short but sweet- it’s based on this request (this is not my first fic with Spencer with painted nails- check out on my MGG masterlist Painted Nails if you are over 18) Side note someone recently stole my work- please do not upload anything of mine to another site without my permission. Feel free to leave an ask in my inbox here (I promise I don’t bite) Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Nothing 🥰

Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.2k

It wasn’t often that Spencer and I had a day to ourselves, even an hour sometimes felt like a rare occurrence. Today, there was no case, no bad guys to be chasing, and there was even no paperwork to be completed. You were sat on the bed peacefully with Spencer, not daring to point that out out loud as it would obviously jinx it.

“Can I paint your nails?” You absentmindedly asked while fiddling with Spencer’s fingers in your grasp. You didn’t expect a response right away, or any at all as you had been asking to paint his nails for a while. Everytime he always said no, maybe later. So, you kept asking until he said yes.

Today seemed like a random day for him to finally agree, but Spencer tended to get you by surprise often. You almost bolted up in surprise when he simply replied, “Yes.”

Now you were sitting across from him, his hand in yours and a towel placed underneath to collect any spills. Eagerly you started immediately, already having the perfect design in mind for him. Using the brush to swipe over his nails, you then coated his nail in purple colored polish. It was his first experience having polish on his fingers.

Naturally he was intrigued staring down at you intently with his tongue slightly peeking out from his lips, like he was putting all his effort into analyzing exactly what you were doing. Just as you finished that finger he said, “This is so fascinating, you have such control over the brush.”

That had made you burst out into a fit of giggles, his tone making manicuring nails sound like the most serious thing in the world. “Practice makes perfect.” Was all you could manage to say as you tried to hold back your laughs and continue your job.

Eventually you finished his first hand, it already looked like a masterpiece to you, accentuating Spencer’s features in a striking way. He of course continued to stare down at them like he was trying to somehow see each molecule of the polish and understand how it dried on the nail so perfectly.

“I don’t think you’ll figure out all there is to know about nail polish yet by staring at it.” You said as you moved to his thumb on his left hand while he looked at his finished right.

“No, I’ll need to read some books for that.” He replied while his focus was still completely on the nails that were covered in shiny lacquer. Until he then looked up to ask you with eager eyes, “Do you have any books on it?”

“No, I don’t Spencer- I’m not a nail tech.” You laughed out once again, but found it very endearing that he thought you might have some.

“We’ll have to go to the library for that then.” Some people would say the internet would be the best bet to learn about this, Spencer always learned best by books however, and despised all technology for the most part. You then finished up with the design on his pointer finger, immediately going to the next to repeat the design on a new nail.

It was a call, of course from Spencer’s work phone, suddenly interrupted your progress on his nails. You hoped it wasn’t another case you’d both get whisked away on. He picked up the phone with his right hand, which was already completed, but still drying. Carefully with extreme precision, he answered the call and brought it up to his ear, making sure he didn’t smudge any of your hard work.

“Hello- this is Dr. Spencer Reid.” His voice had switched into his purely professional mode, while you continued to add the finishing touches to the matching design. You did make an effort to speed up the process in case he had to up and leave, though you did wish you could’ve taken your time like with his opposite hand.

“Hey- kid check who’s calling before you answer. It’s me, we have a case.” You could faintly hear Morgan’s voice come through the phone and you had to fight a groan when you heard the end of his sentence. Seems like you both were already jinxed.

“Y-yeah, ok Morgan we’ll be there in about 20.” He was now squinting down at his watch, hunched over you almost hitting your head in the process while you tried to finish up the last nail.

As soon as he hung up you were just about finished with the last little bit of your design that was a range of Spencer’s favorite color purple with some dashes of black and grey. It would certainly match most of his work clothes he normally wore, you hoped he’d keep the polish on.

“Done!” You shouted triumphantly at the last swipe of clear polish, sealing in your art. When he peered down at the finished hand curiously another pang of worry that he’d want to immediately wipe it off shot through you. “Are you- going to keep it on for work?”

He looked at you incredulously, and then completely squashed your worries with his sweet words, “Of course I’ll wear it to work, it’s perfect and- you did this for me.”

—

“Reid- what is on your nails?” Morgan clocked them as soon as Spencer entered the bullpen with you. He had walked in with pride, not necessarily flaunting them, but certainly not hiding them. And, when Morgan pointed them out he jutted out his fingers in pride, showing off the pretty polish that had by now dried. Though it had been a challenge for him to get all his clothes on, he didn’t end up getting them smudged thanks to you.

“It’s nail polish? Have you never seen it before Morgan?” Spencer quipped at him which seemed to have taken Morgan by surprise as his eyebrows raised up high.

Any answer Morgan could give to him was swallowed up by the giddy voice of none other than Penelope Garcia, “Oh. My. Gosh. Spencer got his nails painted!”

“Y-yes I did!” He withered a bit under the attention as he was not used to it. He bounced back quickly when he realized she wasn’t going to make fun of him.

“Where did you get them done they’re amazing?” Penelope was now holding up Spencer’s hand, and the congregation grew as more members of the team arrived to get a look at his nails. Little did everyone know who was the real artist that did them, and Spencer was happy to correct her with the real answer.

“Actually, Y/N did them.” Penelope almost immediately shifted her focus back on you bombarding you with questions on your technique. Spencer happily played a hand model, which you swore could be a career for him in an alternate universe, while you explained everything to the people around you. It was mainly Penelope who was interested, but Emily and JJ really seemed to like your color choice for Spencer saying it was ‘his color’. Even Morgan peered over inquisitively a few times, mainly when your voice jumped higher because of excitement.

“What are you all doing?”

“Looking at Spencer’s nails, Sir. Y/N did them!”

“Are you sure that’s a very professional look, Spencer?” Hitch’s hard face was difficult to read as always, you couldn’t tell if he was about to demand he take it off right away or not. He hadn’t seemed to mind when you came in with nail art on, or Penelope, you hoped this would be no different. When his lips that were almost always pressed into a thin line turned upwards you were taken aback, and even more so at what he said next, “Looks good- you’re really getting better at your manicuring skills.”

Ask Me Anything

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[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: Nirvana in Fire, Episode 04

(Masterpost) (Pinboard)

Warning! Spoilers for all 54 episodes!

Schemes in Progress:

Mu Nihuang’s Marriage//Martial Arts Competition: Mei Changsu has a foolproof plan for defeating the lead contender, Baili Qi, who is the only contender who can actually beat Nihuang to win her hand. His plan appears to involve having small children beat the mighty warrior. In fact his plan is way simpler and more delightful than that, but I’ll discuss the specifics in a later post. It’s politically important to defeat Baili Qi, not just personally, because he represents a potential enemy state. 

Mu Nihuang’s Marriage//Sima Lei: The Crown Prince and his mom, Consort Yue, want to force Nihuang to marry their dude Sima Lei. The plan is to use Roofie Wine on her. Consort Jing gets wind of this plan and gets a counter-plan rolling. 

Getting Tingsheng Out Of The Palace: Mei Changsu uses the anxiety caused by Baili Qi’s badassery to get the Emperor to agree to his ridiculous kid-training plan, and then makes sure Tingsheng, the secret son of the late Prince Qi, is one of the kids he gets to train. 

Put Jingyan on the Throne: This scheme gets rolling, with a general pattern of Mei Changsu & team doing whatever they can to sink the leading contenders for the throne, which gives Jingyan an opportunity to rise up. The leading contenders tend to cooperate in their own sinking because they are ruthlessly ambitious, and Mei Changsu designs his plans to take advantage of that. 

Banquet Battle

After thoroughly disarming and whomping Jingrui, Baili Qi finishes by flinging Jingrui’s sword into the floor right in front of him. 

Jingrui, who hoped to literally cripple Baili Qi in this fight, has the nerve to be affronted by this. 

(More behind the cut!)

Baili Qi shows his impeccable barbarian manners, giving the Emperor a nice gesture of respect that is presumably local to Northern Yan. Meanwhile, Mei Changsu and Nihuang are snarking quietly at their table like a couple of high schoolers.

Mei Changsu pretends to be embarrassed when the Emperor tells them to share their joke with the whole class, but of course it’s always a scheme, with him. 

He and Nihuang explain to everyone that they were just chatting about how Baili Qi is great and all, but that Mei Changsu could train some small amateur children to beat his bitch ass, given a couple of days to teach them to run in a circle. 

The emperor thinks this is a good plan, and gets right on board with it. 

This is not actually because the emperor is an idiot, however, although Prince Yu clearly thinks so. 

The emperor IS an idiot, but on this occasion I think he has correctly deduced that Mei Changsu has some kind of shady plan in mind, and he is 100% in favor of shady plans, if they work to his benefit. 

Consort Bestie

Jingyan’s mom Consort Jing is hanging out in the palace, and meets up with her girlfriend bestie, Imperial Concubine Hui. Historically, the Emperor’s collection of women was divided into ranks; how many ranks was different for different periods. In NIF, Consort Jing and I.C. Hua belong to the “outer palace” and the Empress and Consort Yue belong to the “inner palace” because they rank higher. The Empress likes to pick on  IC Hua, and has sent her to light a bunch of candles in a haunted palace.

Consort Jing goes with her because they are girlfriends besties, and because she is a consistently nice person who deserves all the good things in the world. Spoiler: Both of these women survive, they stay friends, things work out well for both of them and for their sons. Go ahead and root for them! 

Because the haunted palace belongs to the late Empress, mother of the Emperor and of Grand Princess Liyang, these BFFs are ideally placed to overhear some important scheming, involving some drugged wine that’s been sitting around in this part of the compound for like 30 years. 

They realize that someone is planning to sexually assault a woman by using this drugged wine, and Nihuang is the obvious candidate, since her marriage plans are all anyone’s talking about now. Consort Jing tells Concubine Hua to forget all about this and not get involved in palace drama, but she immediately gets to work intervening in the situation herself. 

Training 

Over at the Xie guesthouse, Mei Changsu is training the kiddies in a special sword formation designed to beat Baili Qi. They sure do have pretty sword forms for a bunch of kids who have never held a sword. Also, someone’s chalk skills are off the chain.

Mei Changsu tells Fe Liu that they have to be faster, so Fe Liu tells them “go faster” and they do, which is apparently the essence of learning martial arts. 

Mu Nihuang shows up and sees right through all of this, making it clear she needs a miracle to get her out of this unwanted marriage. Mei Changsu tells her that he’s got it covered. She says that she believes him, although she’s not sure why. 

Then they stand there gazing heatedly at each other, like you do when you are two random people who have never met until recently, and definitely have never gotten each other off even a little bit. 

Embroidery Flexing

Meanwhile, Consort Jing sets out to save Nihuang from the wine/marriage plot, through the power of embroidery. 

In order to do this she has to make embroidered scent sachets for the Dowager Empress, the Empress, the Grand Princess, and Consort Yue, which she does before going to bed for the night, apparently. Consort Jing kicks ass. 

She makes sure that the Dowager Empress, who is a sweetheart, will be pleased enough with her sachet that she will invite Consort Jing into the room, which will give her an opportunity to present the actually important sachet to Grand Princess Liyang. 

Communication was complicated, before cell phones. 

Once they’re alone, Consort Jing tells Grand Princess Liyang about the plot to force Nihuang to marry Sima Lei. She tells her in the most round-about, triggery way possible, because she needs Liyang to have a flashback, I guess? Otherwise we wouldn’t get to watch her own Mom drugging her to force her to marry Xie Yu. 

Thanks, Mom, I’d be happy to drink this cup of obvious poison. Mom is terrible but her crown is awesome. 

Anyway, once Liyang knows what’s up, she’s on board with team Save Nihuang From Having To Marry A Creep Like My Own Husband.

Clean-shaven Xie Yu: even creepier than regular Xie Yu and also very shiny. Beautiful costume, though. Why are they dressing the flashback villains so nicely? 

Side note: presumably Liyang and her mom didn’t know she was already pregnant when they brought Xie Yu into the mix? Because if they had known, she would probably have been fine with just, like, consenting to marry someone or other, to keep her reputation intact. Anyway it’s worth noting that this whole situation is about appearances, not about whether anyone is actually a literal virgin. 

The Laughing Prince

Jingyan comes for a visit to see how the training is going, and he and Mei Changsu have a sitdown. Mei Changsu tells him that he’s come to town to make sure that the two main contenders for the throne don’t get it, and that he’s going to work to make Jingyan the next emperor. 

Then they stand there gazing at each other, like strangers who definitely have never gotten each other off even a little bit. 

Then Jingyan laughs at him

Jingyan thinks it’s impossible that he would ever be emperor, but he’s happy to go along with Mei Changsu’s plans if it will keep his jerk brothers from winning. 

Building Team Jingyan

Late at night, Meng Zhi drops by to look at Tingsheng and say that he resembles Prince Qi, which he totally doesn’t, but Chinese dramas really don’t worry about casting people who resemble each other to play twins or whatever, so we can take Meng Zhi’s word for it. 

They talk about the Make-Prince-Jing-The-Emperor plan, with Meng Zhi wanting to help out, and Mei Changsu wanting to make sure that only his own hands get dirty with all the schemey stuff he’s planning. 

Hu Ge is really good at talking directly to the camera without looking into the lens. It’s a good technique for intense moments and because he doesn’t look straight into the lens, it doesn’t break the fourth wall. 

Building Team Nihuang

Liyang has spent the day trying to warn Nihuang about the roofie wine situation, but can’t reach her due to a lack of cell phones and/or embroidery skills. 

So she takes the daring step of going to Mei Changsu’s guest house--on her own dang property--which is such a high risk endeavor she has to wear a fancy cloak and cary a super obvious fancy lantern.  God forbid a woman walk around her own house at night.  Anyway, she’s able to pass the warning to Mei Changsu, and asks him to pass it to Nihuang. 

Of course that’s when her husband comes knocking, presumably looking for some affection--he actually is a nice husband who genuinely loves his wife, within the context of a society in which rape is perfectly fine, anyway. 

Her junior servants are freaked out, because visiting a man, even your own houseguest, alone at night is not perfectly fine, so if he catches her, they’re all dead, basically. But the elder servant tells them to chill and just watch how she handles it. 

She politely tells Xie Yu that his wife was reminded of their first date, and so maybe he should leave her and her feelings and her sharp hairpins and whatnot alone for a while. (I’m inferring the hairpins.) He looks slightly terrified and immediately withdraws. 

[appleflavoredkitkats]

Who Are the Four Horsemen of the Dream SMP Apocalypse?

Art by: Viktor Vasnetsov

[TW’s: torture, death, murder, manipulation, alcohol, substance abuse, discussions about the end of the world, religion, starvation, violence, implied gambling, blood, alcoholism]

Word Count: 3.5k

INTRODUCTION

Hopefully I finish this before I feel too sleep-deprived, but I’ve been thinking about the presence of horsemen in Quackity’s “My Enemies” stream. These mysterious, hooded figures are quite odd to say the least, and their involvement with Las Nevadas still remains unknown. There has been a debate on whether there were three horsemen or four, and in my opinion, I believe that there are four horsemen present.

Why four? In the first scene, three horsemen arrive at the Dream SMP on a dark and stormy night. They seem to have come from the south, entering Eret’s castle from the back. As they stop to pull their Netherite swords out, air raid sirens are heard from the distance.

Similarly, in the last scene, Quackity is seen placing a book in Wilbur’s memorial before leaving, riding his skeleton horse, Ossium. The scene cuts from first person POV to third, and we see a hooded figure, presumably Quackity because of how both came from the same direction. Additionally, air raid sirens are also heard from a distance.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT!]

I theorize that these two scenes take place at the same time. The prequel scenes only began after we see the sequence of Quackity torturing Dream, and it ends after the flashbacks of Wilbur. We can synthesize that both these scenes are set at the same time, and that these horsemen are going to meet at a certain point on the prime path.

What may suggest that these four horsemen are supposed to be parallels to the biblical four horsemen?

Firstly, seeing the bits they do, Quackity and Schlatt do know a lot of biblical references. Schlatt has compared Tubbo to Jesus once, and Quackity has said many prayers as jokes in the Dream SMP. It’s just… easy to take inspiration from biblical symbols and references, and also, the four horsemen are just very popular figures in history, so you know, why not?

Also, this may also sound RIDICULOUS, but the fact that this stream establishes that Tommy got resurrected three days after he got killed is actually very reminiscent of, well, you guessed it, Jesus Christ. 72 hours is oddly specific, and I don’t think the cc’s made it that way for no reason. Tommy’s parallels to Jesus—which is a VERY funny phrase—could imply that the Dream SMP might draw more parallels to Christianity, and the four horsemen could be another one of these references.

Also, Quackity mentioned how in Las Nevadas, he made four casinos for him and the rest of El Rapids. So, we know four is a number we can associate with Las Nevadas, and there’s a chance Quackity gave these casinos to three other people. Four casinos, four horsemen.

What is the purpose of the four horsemen in the Dream SMP? When the air raid sirens went off, we can think of these four horsemen as the bringer of chaos or danger into the Dream SMP, very reminiscent of the purpose of the original four horsemen in Christianity. We can also connect it to the end of the world, as these four only appear when the world begins to end. This can imply that these four, who are most likely allies of Quackity in Las Nevadas, are somewhat connected to how the Dream SMP will end.

Now, who is who? Admittedly, it is difficult to find a definitive answer on which member represents what horseman, so I’ll try my best considering all the possibilities for each. I’ll add my own ranks on how probable I think they are, but I have to specify that these are subjective- I am not a beacon of truth, y’all.

So let’s get started.

Firstly, I want to discuss who might NOT be a horseman to narrow it down a bit:

Any minors might not be involved. In Sam’s face reveal stream, aka the first stream mentioning Las Nevadas, Quackity and Sam agree they don’t want Tubbo and Tommy to participate in underage gambling. Don’t know if this applies to Ranboo and Fundy (since he might be canonically a child? Who knows), so they get more of a pass, but the clingy duo might not.

The Syndicate. I’d like to think that the Syndicate, as well as Dream, are Quackity’s main foils of the server. As they are the richest and also the most skilled in PVP, Quackity stands no chance against them even with his sharp tongue. As these people are foils against Quackity, and also probably hate his guts, Quackity might not hire them at Las Nevadas. I theorize he’d probably use Dream as a watchdog against the Syndicate, but that’s a theory for another time. 

Additional point about Dream: he’s in prison.

Anyone from Kinoko Kingdom because it’s clear Quackity severed all ties with them.

The Eggpire is half-half. They can possibly join, but also can’t, Quackity can manipulate them into joining only for their inevitable demise, or Quackity wouldn’t wanna associate with them after the explosion incident. They’ll at least get a few passes in some categories, but again, not entirely sure.

CONQUEST

Also known as Plague, Pestilence, and in some occasions, both Jesus Christ and the Antichrist, Conquest is shown to be riding on a white horse, donning a victor’s crown and a bow. There are many interpretations of Conquest, especially with their ambiguous morality. Some people can perceive them as bad, representing the origin of many wars. Some people claim that they represent pestilence and plague as their arrows are slathered with the infections they want to spread. In some cases, they can also be interpreted as good, as their description is heavily reminiscent of Jesus Christ himself. Others would rebut that there is also a possibility that they might be a fake replica of Jesus created by Satan, thus making them the antichrist.

Sam (8/10)

Sam is my first choice when it comes to Conquest because, firstly, he fits the appearance. He is one of the only people in the Dream SMP who dons a crown, and they also possess a bow which they frequently use. I’d say that Sam as Conquest matches with his ambitions as a member of the Badlands, Pestilence or Plague match with his possible crimson infection, and Antichrist matches with his inability to keep Tommy, the possible Jesus figure on the SMP, alive or safe. 

My only issue is: would Sam be one of the three who arrived at the Dream SMP in the beginning? Sam is very strict with his job as warden, so it is unlikely that he would be seen far from it.

Any of the Eggpire (7/10)

As Conquest is heavily depicted with pestilence or plague, any of the Eggpire may fit under this category. As their goal as the Eggpire is meant to conquer the Dream SMP, this also matches with the goal of Conquest. Additionally, one of the Egg’s weaknesses is Church Prime, something heavily resembling Christianity, so if the Egg is its opposite, we can view the Egg as somewhat of an antichrist. 

I say Punz, Bad, Ponk, and Hannah have a higher chance of being Conquest, while Ant is a solid ‘maybe’. Punz could’ve been the one who blew up the Egg, Bad can be easily persuaded by Quackity, Ponk is one of the only capitalists of the server that may participate in Las Nevadas, and Hannah’s character heavily fits the theme of pestilence when it comes to nature. Additionally, I like to believe that Conquest was the horseman on the skeleton horse (that isn’t Quackity’s), especially since they were holding a dandelion in one shot, something that could be attributed to “pestilence” because a dandelion is a weed. This may imply that Hannah could be part, but because they haven’t interacted much beforehand, we wouldn’t be sure. More insight on Punz: he once mentioned he upholds his duties as mercenary more than he might love the Egg, so there’s a chance Quackity bribed him to join Las Nevadas.

The main con to this is that: why would the Eggpire willingly join Quackity, or why would the Egg allow them to join Quackity? I can see that Quackity might break their brainwashed states because he has a good way with words, but people like Bad, Ant, and Punz have stated that they’ve been fully controlled by the Egg. Also, Quackity makes it clear he wants to eradicate his enemies, so he might not want any members of the Eggpire to join Las Nevadas… unless there’s a traitor?

Schlatt, Mexican Dream, or Wilbur (6/10)

Heavily connected with winning if you take Manberg, Mexican L’Manberg, or L’Manberg into mind.

Wilbur also has a memorable crossbow, but I don’t know if that counts as a bow.

Any dead characters have a high chance of joining Las Nevadas because of its possible connections to death and the revival system of the SMP.

Other possibilities with short explanations and low but possible odds:

Eret: Has a crown, his betrayal can be seen as a “win”, has Tommy’s bow from the duel. Can be seen as an antichrist figure.

Jack: As he is against Tommy, he can be seen as an antichrist figure. Might be working with Las Nevadas because of his deal with Quackity.

Ranboo: He’s a minor, but he also has a crown and a bow so, maybe? He’s not much of a conqueror or winner, though.

Connor: Didn’t really conquer much, didn’t really win much, he’s just here because of Schlatt, honestly.

WAR

War is depicted to be holding a raised sword as they ride atop a red horse. After conquest, war is expected to follow, and War is tasked to break any type of peace on earth. He is tasked to kill, or make humans kill each other. The prominence of red symbolizes bloodshed or immense anger, something very present in war. Multiple depictions of War show him with his sword raised upwards, signifying the start of a battle.

Schlatt (9/10)

The man’s literally torn the Dream SMP apart (/lh). This man is always keen on fulfilling his goals, and if it means he’ll have to fulfill them in the most twisted of ways, he will do it. Him winning the Election brought immense conflict in the Dream SMP, and many people were torn apart on which side was the right or wrong side. One of Schlatt’s prominent colors besides blue would be red, as it is the color of his tie and the color of his ghost form’s horns. Red could represent the bloodshed of those who died during the Manberg-Pogtopia conflict, or red can signify the anger Schlatt had for his own cabinet.

Schlatt was also gifted a sword by Dream called “Shclatt”. The sword only holds heavy significance because of how Fundy treasured it like an heirloom.

Wilbur (8/10)

Another good possibility too as Ghostbur was recently seen to admire red a lot more than blue in one of Tommy’s streams. We can also view the creation of L’Manberg as a place that broke the peace in the Dream SMP as they didn’t really NEED to create L’Manberg and declare war, yet, he did. Red can also resemble his anger for what has been done to L’Manberg- everything is pretty self-explanatory, honestly.

My only qualm with Wilbur being one of the horsemen is how we can’t really… tell if he’s in the Dream SMP? He seems to be very clear on the fact that he does NOT want to return, so he might not even be there when the four horsemen became a thing.

Any of the Eggpire (7/10)

Honestly? Same reasoning as the first explanation for the Eggpire. This also applies for why they might not be one of the horsemen.

Do I even need to explain the red part, or do we just all understand that red is literally their brand.

The Eggpire practically breaks peace in the server and is keen on taking control of the entirety of the Dream SMP. The Egg is shown to be ruthless towards anyone, and will even let some of its followers kill people if needed. 

I see Bad as someone who might qualify for this position more because he initiates a lot of the activity in the Eggpire. Same goes for Ant, Punz, and Ponk, but they don’t really take initiative most of the time.

Jack Manifold (4/10)

The only reason I kind of added him here was that he wanted to kill Tommy, but Jack isn’t entirely selfish or peace-breaking. I do think he might play a role in Las Nevadas, especially since if Quackity has access to the nukes, only Jack and Ranboo might be the only two who helped him gain access.

Jack is also… very angry at Tommy. Rightfully so, because he basically surrounded a good portion of his life trying to kill Tommy only for him to realize that that might not be his purpose in life. He blames Tommy for a lot of the loss in the server, so he has a lot of anger, but he has no one to vent it all out to.

Other possibilities with short explanations and low but possible odds:

Eret: Did the first betrayal, but that’s about it. He’s also participated in several wars against others who disagreed with him being the king.

Ranboo: Participated in wars, but is a peacemaker so, y’know.

Fundy: While he does possess Schlatt’s sword, he isn’t much of an initiator of wars as much as he is merely a follower. He has shown that he is quite angry at those who have used him, but the anger has dissipated lately into some sort of sadness/denial.

Connor: He’s mournful that Schlatt, a close friend, has died, but he isn’t really one to be angry. He tried living far away to make his own independent nation, but it didn’t impact much of the story. He also one possessed “Ghostbur’s Stabbing Knife”, which could represent the sword.

FAMINE 

Famine is seen to be holding a scale (presumably for food) as they ride atop a horse. Famine is also denoted to be the only one speaking, saying “A quart of wheat for a denarius! And three quarts of barley for a denarius! But don’t ruin the oil and the wine!”. This statement basically means that we have to pay a full day’s worth of earnings for a bit of wheat and barley but oil and the wine, something not considered human necessities, can have the same prices. This shows an unfairness when it comes to acquiring basic human necessities. This is especially damaging to the poor as Famine’s statement can possibly make the poor poorer, while the rich remain the same. It is implied that the wider the gap between the poor and the rich, the closer we are to the end of the world.

Fundy (9/10)

This may be a long answer because I am biased towards Fundy, but Niki once stated that Manberg was in some sort of a famine because of the destruction of farms. Because of this, certain citizens have resorted into eating spider eyes from the EXP farm, but it was notable that she was practically calling out Fundy, someone who literally advertised spider eyes to any person he talked to in the Dream SMP.

Fundy is also hinted to be heavily connected to these hooded figures somehow. In his dream, he was chased by one until he slept in a black bed, the color of Famine.

Additionally, in his dream, he held baked potatoes (food) which could be related…? He��s also a libra so… scales…?

He is also a notorious prankster in the Dream SMP and will bargain for anything as long as he profits from it. He’s not the richest by any means, but he loves doing pranks that involve stealing belongings from other people.

Schlatt (8/10)

Similar reason to Fundy as he was the president of Manberg responsible for these famines. Additional note for this is that he also taxed Niki, one of their only food sources in Manberg. 

Schlatt also likes to joke around about being rich, earning money, or being a businessman often, especially with the entire Schlatt coin joke. Connected to Famine’s trait of making the rich richer, possibly?

Famine’s statement can also apply here as it is implied that if humanity doesn’t possess the basic of necessities, they might at least have wine which won’t provide any solutions to humanity’s starvation at all, but it will distract you from your starvation by making you heavily drunk until you finally die. This is very reminiscent of how Schlatt died.

Sam (6/10)

Sam is one of the richest people on the server, matching Famine’s want to keep the rich rich. Only problem here is that Sam is at least very generous and provides a lot of people with resources when needed.

Sam could possibly be connected to Famine because of how he treats Dream in prison. In an attempt to torture Dream, he starves him, cutting his food supply.

Same problem remains with Sam not being able to join whatever the hell the four horsemen are because of his duties as warden.

Any of the Syndicate (1/10)

Only giving an exception here because the Syndicate is exceptionally rich and is more selfish about it than others. Low chances, but Ranboo… might? But it’s still a bit iffy for me. Niki might as well because of her connections to the Manbergian famine, but still on the fence with this one too.

DEATH

Death is often depicted riding a pale horse, but some variations have called the horse light green. Death does not don a weapon themselves, but they are always accompanied by Hades. Hades in Christianity is the place or state of the departed spirits, meaning Death has contact with those who have died. Sometimes, Death is depicted with a scythe similar to the Grim Reaper, but some say Death has no weapon at all as Death themself is the weapon. Death is not only meant to collect souls and end lives, but they can also represent the end of an era of humanity.

Quackity (10/10)

I would say Quackity can fit any other category, but I am so sure that Quackity is death because of how death and toying with death seems to be one of Quackity’s main themes in the Dream SMP. Quackity, once hesitant about killing others, has been shown to now impulsively want to kill others: first with Techno, then Ranboo, then Dream. 

Quackity will also most likely acquire information about revival on the Dream SMP, so he is in close proximity with Hades, or in the Dream SMP, the Void. This also heavily ties in with the idea that he will make others gamble away their canon lives only for him to resurrect or return their canon lives if they ever successfully gamble it back. 

Quackity is also known to be very powerless in terms of PVP and battle, but you know what he succeeds in? His own words. He is his own weapon that can get him whatever he wants as long as the person he’s up against is in a vulnerable position. 

He is also confirmed to be one to have a skeleton horse, and some depictions of Death’s horse show that it is very corpse-like.

A bloody scythe can also be seen in Quackity’s first lore teaser, and that can be attributed to Death.

Other possibilities with short explanations and low but possible odds:

Schlatt: First owned the revival book but he literally does not know its contents. Fits the “they are their own weapon” trait.

Dream: The only exception I can give. But again, he is literally in prison…?

Wilbur & Mexican Dream: Only putting these two here because they have experienced death. These two fit the “they are their own weapon” category too.

Connor: Wants to revive Schlatt, but that’s it.

CONCLUSION

Honestly, my first conclusion for the four horsemen were Sam/Conquest, Schlatt/War, Fundy/Famine, and Quackity/Death, but I only see Quackity as Death to be something that is HIGHLY possible. For Conquest, I shift between Sam and one of the Eggpire, for War, I shift between Wilbur and Schlatt, and for Famine, I shift between Fundy and Schlatt. Again, no definitive answer, but I’d love to hear your own thoughts on this.

I am very tired, but also remember to reblog if you do enjoy this! Again, would love to hear your own insights, and would appreciate any type of discussion! :D

[batwhimpix]

An Interview with Former Takarazuka Top Star Asumi Rio: The Laidback Personality Behind the Handsome Face

(Translated by me 8/19/2021)

While still a member of the Takarazuka Revue, Asumi Rio was known for her sensitive acting which digs deep into the heart of each role, her crystal-clear vocals, and her captivating stage presence. As the top star of Flower Troupe, she gained an immense level of popularity. Now, it has been one year since her retirement from the company. She has expanded her repertoire from stage to screen, and continues to showcase new sides to her talent. In her first name-bearing variety program, the Hulu Original "Asumi Rio's Atelier," Asumi-san learns new tips and techniques to "step up" both her lifestyle and her design sense. Totally different from her intense onstage aura, this program offers a chance to get to know Asumi-san's soft and relaxed offstage persona.

It's been a year and a half since you left the Takarazuka Revue. How would you describe that period of time for you, Asumi-san?

When I was in the Revue, because I had managed to enter the world of Takarazuka, which was my absolute favorite place, I felt strongly that I didn't want to have any regrets. So I was very motivated to work as hard as I could to polish my craft. I was completely lost in it, but within that, I always had my fans cheering me on, and the guidance of so many around me. In the last year and a half, I've realized all over again just how precious a thing that was.

Until I left, my only experience was on the stage, so stepping into the world on screen for the first time, a lot of totally new forms of expression were expected from me, and I felt a lot of anxiety. Parting from Takarazuka and living as just one individual human, every day is full of challenges. But that said, every day now is also rich with new experiences and new possibilities, so I've come to face that with a lot of gratitude.

While you were in Takarazuka, there was a very clear image, that of a perfect "otokoyaku," to aspire to. Now that you don't have that anymore, what kind of actress are you aiming to become?

There are a lot of qualities I have now precisely because I was an otokoyaku, and I think it's probably okay for me to just embrace that. As top [abbrev. "top star", the starring otokoyaku actress in each troupe], I was in a position where I had to lead the troupe, watch over and guide all the other actresses, and shape each production as the lead actress. I think I've picked up a lot of grit through that experience, and even as a woman, I think having a bit of a masculine edge in your lifestyle and how you deal with things can be a positive, right?

Even when I was playing otokoyaku roles, moreso than aiming for a particular ideal, I came at each role separately, like, this time I'm playing this kind of man, next time I'm playing this kind of man. It was like a gradual broadening of my horizons. Now I'm simply adding female roles to that roster, so it's kind of like the scope of roles available to me has doubled. When it comes to my outward appearance, as my hair grows out and I transition toward a more feminine look, I've been having all kinds of new discoveries, like, "Oh, this kind of styling makes me feel like this." Within my drama roles as well, I like those discoveries like, if I do it like this, won't it be interesting, or if I do this, I can get viewers to say, "Oh!" I want to keep digging to find those little moments where I can really surprise people within each role.

Since your retirement from Takarazuka, what overall on-set experience sticks out the most in your memory?

I think that has to be the first show I had the opportunity to take part in, "Ochoyan" [NHK serialized telenovella]. Until I was on that set, I always thought that the stage was the most incredible place in the world. I would never find anywhere else where every member is so unified in their vision, where everyone has so much pride in their troupe and so much love for the production they're building together, as in Takarazuka. Even now, I still think Takarazuka is a very special place, and my love for it hasn't changed.

But on the set of "Ochoyan," like Takarazuka, there were so many staff working to create this thing, who truly loved the work and brought all kinds of skills to the table to bring it to life. Among the cast as well, the atmosphere during recording, where all of us in the Tsurugame Family Theater [the name of the theater company employing main character Takei Chiyo as well as Asumi-san's character Takamine Ruriko] really did feel like a family, wasn't that different from Takarazuka at all. On the contrary, because our time together was limited just to the recording of this show, it felt like everyone valued that time all the more. Being on a set like that was a huge experience for me.

In Takarazuka, you had a very hectic schedule. As soon as one production closed you were already thinking about the next. I'm sure your lifestyle has changed in a big way since then. What kind of feelings do you have about that?

I retired and moved here to Tokyo right around the start of the pandemic. During the lockdown, when I was in my house all day, I realized how long the day really is. Suddenly it was up to me to decide how to spend all this time in the day. I could use it to rest or, if I had some area I was struggling with, I could use it for training too. I had a renewed realization that depending on my own feelings, I could choose to change myself in any number of ways.

These days, how do you find yourself spending the majority of your time?

These days, I'm doing a lot of types of work I'm totally new to, and working on sets with people I've only just met, so I'm still in a place where I spend a lot of time nervous. When I'm on a set I haven't gotten used to yet, my antenna is going in all different directions, so after I get home I try to relax as much as possible. In order to fully refresh myself and go into work the next day in high spirits and ready to face whatever comes, I've been making a conscious effort to be kind to myself.

What activities allow you to refresh your batteries the most?

Zoning out, and eating delicious food.

On "Asumi Rio's Atelier," you gave steaming rice in a donabe [TN: earthenware pot traditionally used to steam rice, supposedly more delicious than steaming in a rice cooker] a try for the first time, but what kinds of things do you eat most often?

As long as it tastes good, I'll happily eat anything. I like vegetables, meat, fish, and I love carbs, too. Ideally, I want to eat a good balance of a lot of different things.

Speaking of that program, how were the topics for each episode decided? Were you able to make requests?

For "Atelier" we had the general framework that I would be trying different activities I was interested in from the onset, so basically they asked me, "What kind of things are you interested in? What do you want to try?" And then...Yeah, first I had about 30, then we added about 30 more, so in total about 60, ideas that we pitched. The program staff wanted to include as many of my requests as they could, so actually, within each episode there are probably three or four different ones. In addition to that, there's an interview in each episode that relates back to that episode's theme. I enjoyed the chance to reflect on my Takarazuka era and memories from my childhood.

On the topic of your Takarazuka era, in your first interview for us, you said, "I wasn't necessarily aiming to become top star." But within the system of Takarazuka, to climb all the way to top star, you must have been aware of something within yourself that made you want to aim higher?

Let's see...Ever since I was an underclassman, I had a strong drive to improve as an otokoyaku. I wanted people to find my performance interesting, and I wanted to be seen as a necessary part of the production. I wanted to act a lot, and I wanted to sing a lot of songs that I love. I wanted to bathe in the spotlight, and I was happy when I got to wear more gorgeous costumes. If I really think back on those feelings now, first in the shinjinkouen junior performances featuring only actresses who have been with the company seven years or less, and then in performances at the smaller Bow Hall theater next to the Takarazuka Grand Theater, inevitably I started aiming for the lead roles that would allow me to stand on stage for the longest every time.

Somewhere along that road, when I was told I was being transferred from the troupe I was first inducted into, Moon Troupe, to Flower Troupe, this feeling that I had wanted to be the Moon Troupe's successor welled to the surface. And since that's the same as saying, "I wanted to be the top star of Moon Troupe," that was the first time I became aware of that goal. Every troupe in Takarazuka has its own character, though, so after my transfer, I was desperate to hurry up and become an otokoyaku befitting Flower Troupe first...

So as you worked to further your artistic development, there at the zenith was top star.

If you were to ask my underclassman self, the Top-sans are unbelievably incredible performers, and the more shinjinkouens you experience, the more closely you come to understanding just how incredible they are. Then as you spend more years with the company and find yourself in a position where you're working directly under the Top-san, you realize how much work they're really doing, and...The more you know, the more you lose the ability to say something like "I want to be the top star" carelessly.

And yet, you bore the heavy responsibility of a top star for five-and-a-half years. It's hard to imagine from your usual laidback attitude, but when it comes to your art, you're incredibly diligent and strong-willed. That gap is captivating.

When it comes to theater, I'm very picky. I mean, I'm way too stubborn for one thing. Especially in productions where I'm playing the lead role, I always have really strong feelings about how I want to perform things, and I'm not in a position where I can hesitate to convey that. It's important to listen to the opinions of various other people too, but when it comes down to it, if I have a clear idea of the direction I want things to proceed and direct things with that in mind, it makes things easier for everyone else, so I always tried to communicate my thoughts clearly and directly. If I'm delivering consistently good work, there's a persuasive power to that. Not only do the underclassmen naturally follow along, but the staff listen and respond to my requests as well.

But when you're making this kind of production, you do have to be pretty strict. But then, the real me is more of a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me, or more like, I don't want to be disliked. I didn't want the younger underclassmen to feel like I was unapproachable or like they couldn't talk to me because I was the top star. I wanted them to think of me like family. So outside matters relating to work, I tried to give off as relaxed a vibe as possible. Definitely, I think there was quite a gap between "on" and "off" for me.

Are there a lot of differences between "Asumi Rio the otokoyaku" and "Asumi Rio the actress?" How about between your stage name persona and your private self under your birth name?

I've lived under my stage name for so much longer than my birth name that I feel like, at this point, the parts of myself that belong to my real name are few and far between. I do have the feeling that, in some respect, I've grown up together with my stage name. In essence, while I was in Takarazuka, I didn't worry too much about creating a separate persona. Thanks to the kindness of my fans and the environment I was in, I felt like I could leave my otokoyaku persona on the stage and stay pretty close to my natural self everywhere else. I guess the only thing is, when I'm alone in my house, I revert to goblin mode. (laughs wryly) Like I'll have trouble getting myself to go take a bath, or I really should clean but my back hurts, etc., etc.

By contrast, now that I've graduated from being an otokoyaku, a lot of the things I'm doing as an actress are total firsts for me, so I think I feel more discomfort with my presentation now than I did then. There are times when I get really nervous, and then I get disappointed in myself for feeling that way. Like, until just a little while ago, I was in a position where I was responsible for keeping everyone's morale up. I would get up on that stage like, "It's alright, just leave it to me," so what am I all anxious for now? I often think about how much I still have to learn, and how badly I want to hurry up and learn it so I can show the results of my efforts.

Is there a particular ideal you're currently pursuing? What kind of actress do you want to become, and what kind of woman?

Since leaving Takarazuka, I've had a lot more opportunity to meet all kinds of new people. On every set I've been on, each of the actresses I meet has their own unique aura, and seeing their acting up close, I'm blown away by each of them. Among the staff as well, there are so many different kinds of professionals of all ages, and I often find myself inspired by their work ethic and lifestyle. I'd like to continue to enrich my life by learning from the amazing people I meet and experiencing many new things, and work to become a more fully rounded human being.

*Bracketed notes not marked "TN" (Translator's Note) were present in the original article.

[comedicreliefonlyworkswhenfunny]

I am against the "Americanization" of fandoms.

What this applies to

Holding non American characters (and sometimes even fans) to an American moral standard. This includes

Refusing to take into account that, first things first, America is NOT the target audience, so certain tropes that would or would not pass in the west are different in Japan.

Like seriously, quite a few of the jokes are just not going to pass or hit, because they require background information that is not universal.

Assuming all American experience is standard. (This could mean watering down just how much pressure is placed on Japanese youth irl by saying that sort of thing is universal (while it is, to a degree, Japanese suicide rates are pretty fucking high because of how fast paced and work heavy some of their loads tend to be), and it's really annoying and rude when someone is trying to speak out about how heavy and harsh the standards are placed on them to succeed just for some American whose mom occasionally yells at them to do their homework dropping by to say "it's like that everywhere")

Demonizing (or wubbifying) a character using American morals, including and up to harassing fans over their interpretations or gatekeeping whether or not a character "should" get development (while you shouldn't do that fucking period, it's rude and annoying- this is specifically for the people who use American standards without acknowledging the cultural gap between them and, you know, the fucking target audience) ((Like seriously, saying "It's different in Japan" is not the end all be all excusing someone's actions, but sometimes the author didn't immediately think that maybe (insert vaguely universal thing) was that bad or that heavy of a topic before they put it into their media. If you don't want to see things like that? Pick a different series and stop harassing the fans))

Getting mad at or making fun of Japan's attempts to satirize their own culture. (A good example is Ace Attorney! To most of us, it's just a funny laugh can you imagine if courts were actually like that- guess what? Japan's are! (Not that America's are actually that much better, they just look good on paper))

Making America/American issues the center of your fan spaces

(Usually without sharing or bringing light to the issues that other countries are going through)

Your

Experiences

Are

Not

Univseral!

Seriously, very few things across America, even, are universal. Texas things the hundreds are nothing while Minnesota's like "oh it's only thirty degrees below zero"- so for fucks sake, stop assuming that all other countries work in ways similar to America.

It's good and important to share Ameican issues with your American followers, but guess what? America isn't the only country out there, and it's certainly not the only one going through bullshit. Don't pull shit like "why's no one reblogging this?" or "why should I care about what's happening in (X country)?"

Don't assume everyone lives in America.

Stop assuming everyone lives in America.

America is not and has never been the target audience for anime, and it's certainly not the only country outside of Japan that enjoys it.

Like I said above, sometimes Japan attempts to satirize its own culture. We can't tell what is and isn't meant as satire, because it's not our culture.

Social media activism can be tiring and maybe you don't have the energy to focus on things that are out of your control, but, if someone tells you about the shit they're going through, don't bring American politics up.

For the neurodivergent crowd out there thinking, "But why?" it's because a lot of social media, especially, is very heavily Americanized- sometimes to the point where people assume that everyone is American. Not to mention, it's disheartening. I'm sorry to say, but you're not actually relating to the conversation, you're often diverting the focus away from the topic at hand. Even if you mean well, America is heavily pedestaled and talked about frequently, and people from other countries are tired of America taking precedent over their own issues.

Don't divert non-American issues into American ones. Seriously. It's not your place. Please just support the original issue or move on.

Racist Bullshit

This especially goes for islanders and South Asian characters, as well as poc characters (because, yes, Japan DOES have black people)

Making "funny" racist headcanons. Not fucking cool.

Changing the canon interpretation of an explicit character of color in order to fit racist stereotypes.

Whitewashing or color draining characters. Different artistic skill sets can be hard, yes, but are you seriously going to look at someone and say "I don't feel like accurately portraying you or people that look like you, because it's difficult for me." If someone tries to correct you on your cultural depiction of a character and/or their life style, don't be an ass. (If possible, it would be nice for those that do the corrections to be polite as well, but it does get really frustrating).

Seriously, no offense guys, but, if you want to persue art, you're going to need to learn to depict different body types, skin colors, and/or ethnic features.

On that note, purposefully, willingly, or consistently inaccurately portraying people or characters of color (especially if someone in the fandom has "called you out" or specifically told you that what you're doing comes across as racist and you continue to do it). If you need help or suck at looking things up, there are references for you! Ask your followers if they have tutorials on poc (issue that you're having), whether it be bodily portrayal, facial proportions, or coloring and shading. Art is so much more fun when you can depict a wider variety, and guess what? Before you drew the same skinny, basic, white character over and over, you couldn't even draw that!

Attempting or claiming to DEPECT CULTURAL ACCURACY within a work or meta, while being completely fucking wrong. ESPECIALLY and specifically if someone calls you out, and you refuse to fix, correct, or change anything.

*little side note that the discussion revolving art is a very multilayered conversation, and it has quite a few technical potholes, which I'll bring up again farther into this post.

Fucking history

Stop demonizing or for absolute fucks sake wubbifying Japanese history because UwU Japan ♡0♡ or bringing up shit like "you know they sided with Nazis, right?" It's good to recognize poor past decisions, but literally it's not your country keep your nose out of it. And? A lot of decisions made by countries were not made by their general peoples. Even those that were, often involved heavy propaganda that made them think what they were doing was right.

Seriously, it's not your country, not your history. Unless you have some sort of higher education (but honestly even then a lot of those contain heavy bias), just don't butt in.

^^^ this also goes to all countries that are NOT Japan (specifically when people from non American countries talk about their history while in fandoms and someone wants to Amerisplain to them why "well, actually-"). When we said, "question your sources," we didn't mean "question the people who know better than you, while blindly accepting the (more than likely biased) education you were given in the past."

What this does NOT include:

Fanfiction

FANfiction

FanFICTION

FANFICTION.

Seriously, fanfiction is literally UNPAID WORK from RANDOM FANS- a lot of which who are or have started as kids. ((No, I'm not trying to excuse racist depictions of people just because they're free, please see above where I talk about learning to grow a skill and how it's possible tone bad and get good, on top of the fact that some inaccuracies are not just willful ignorance))

"Looking it up" doesn't work

"Looking it up" almost never works

Please, for fucks sake, you know that most all online search engines are heavily biased, right? Not to mention, not everything is universal across the entirety of Japan. You want to look up how the school system works in Hokkaido? Well it's different from the ones in Osaka!

Most fanfiction is meant to be an idealized version of the world. Homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, ableism, and racism are very prevalent and heavy topics that some fan authors would prefer to avoid. (Keep in mind, this is also used by some people in those minorities often because thinking about how relevant those kinds of things are is to them every day).

A lot of shit that happens in writing is purely because it's an ideal setting. I've seen a few arguments recently about how fan authors portray Japanese schools wrong- listen, I can't tell you how many random school systems I have pulled from my ass purely because (I need them to interact at these points, in these ways). Sometimes the only compliment I can think of is 'I like your shirt' or sometimes I need character A to realize that character B likes the same thing as they do, so I might ignore the fact that most all Japanese schools require uniforms, so that I can put my character in a shirt that will get someone else's attention.

Sometimes it's difficult to find information on different types of systems, and sometimes when you DO know those things, they directly rule out a plot point that needs to happen (like back on the topic of schools (from what I've seen/heard/read- which guess what? Despite being from multiple sources, might still be inaccurate!) Japanese schools don't have mandatory elective classes (outside of like gym and most of them usually learn English or another language- I've seen stuff about art classes? But the information across the board varies.), but, if I need my character to walk in and see someone completely in their element, I'm probably not going to try and gun for accuracy or make up a million and two reasons as to why this (non elective) person would possibly need something from (elective teacher) after school of all things.)

Some experiences ARE universal- or at least overlap American and Japanese norms! Like friends going to fast food places after school doesn't /sound Japanese/ or whatever, but it's not like a horrible inaccuracy to say that your characters ate at McDonald's because they were hungry. Especially when you consider that the Japanese idolization of American "culture" is also a thing.

Also I saw someone complaining about how, in December, a lot of (usually westerners) write Christmas fics! Well, not only are quite a few of those often gift fics, with it being the season if giving and all, but Japanese people do celebrate Christmas! Not as "the birth of Christ," but rather as a popularized holiday about gift giving (also pst: America isn't the only place that celebrates Christmas)

But, on that note, sometimes things like Holidays are "willfully ignorant" of what actually happens (I've made this point several times, but (also this does by no means excuse actual racism)), because, again: plot convenience! Hey what IF they celebrated Halloween by Trick or Treating? What if Easter was a thing and they got to watch their kids or younger siblings crawl around on the ground looking for tiny plastic eggs?

Fanfiction authors can put in hours of work for one or two thousand words- let alone ten thousand words, fifty thousand words, a hundred thousand words. And all of these are free. There is absolutely no (legal) way to make money off of their fanworks, but they spent hours, days, weeks, months- sometimes even years- writing. It is so unnecessary to EXPECT or REQUIRE them to spend even more hours looking up shit that, no offense, almost no one is going to notice. No one is going go care that all of my combini prices are accurate or that I wrote a fic with a Japanese map of a train station that I had to backwards search three times to find an English version that I could read.

Not everyone has the attention span or ability to spend hours of research before writing a single word. Neurodivergent people are literally a thing yall. Instead of producing the perfectly pretty accurate version of Japan that people want to happen, what ACTUALLY happens is that the writer reads and reads and reads and either never finds the information they need or they lose the motivation to write.

^^^ (This does NOT apply to indigenous or native peoples, like Pacific Islanders or tribes that exist in real life. Please make sure that you portray tribal minorities accurately. If you can't find the information you need (assuming that the content of the series is not specifically about a tribe), please just make one up (and for fucks sake, recognize that a lot of what you've been taught about tribal practices, such as shit like human sacrifices or godly worship, is actually just propaganda.)

Not to mention, it often puts a wall in front of readers who would then need to pull up their OWN information (that may or may not be biased) just in order to interact with the fic ((okay, this one has a little bit of arguability when it comes to things like measurements and currency, because Americans don't know what a meter is and no one else knows what a foot is- either way, one of yall is going to have to look up measurements if they want to get a better understanding of the fic)). However, a lot of Americans who do write using 'feet, Fahrenheit, dollars,' also write for their American followers or friends (which really could go both ways).

On a less easily arguable side, most fic readers aren't going to open up a new tab just to search everything that the author has written (re the whole deep topics, not everyone wants to read about those sorts of things, either). Not only are you making it more difficult on the writer, but you're also making it more difficult for the reader who's now wondering why you decided to add in Grandma's Katsudon recipe, and whether or not the details you have added are accurate.

Some series, themselves, ignore Japanese norms! Piercings, hair dye, and incorrectly wearing ones uniform are frowns upon in Japanese schools- sometimes up to inflicting punishment on those students because of it. However, some anime characters still have naturally or dyed blond hair some of them still have piercings or wear their uniforms wrong. Some series aren't set specifically in Japan, but rather in a vague based-off-real-life Japan that's just slightly different (like Haikyuu and all of its different prefectures). Sometimes they're based on real places, but real places that have gone through major changes (like the Hero Academia series with its quirks and shit).

Fandom is not a full time job. Please stop treating it like it is one. Most people in fandoms have to engage in other things like school or work that most definitely take precident over frantically Googling the cultural implications of dying your hair pink in Japan.

Art is also meant to be a creative freedom and is almost always a hobby, so there are a few cracks that tend to spark debate. Like I said, it is still a hobby, something that's meant to be fun (on this note!)

If trying new things and expanding your portfolio is genuinely making you upset, it's okay to take a break from it. You're not going to get it right on the first try and please, please to everyone out there critiquing artists' works, please take this into account before you post things.

I'm sorry to say, but, while it gets frustrating to see the same things done wrong over and over again, some people are genuinely trying. If it matters enough for you to point out, please offer solutions or resources that would possibly help the artist do better (honestly this could be said about a lot of online activism). I get that they should "want" to do better (and maybe they don't and your annoyance towards them is completely justified- again, as I said, if this becomes a repeated offense and they don't listen to or care about the people trying to help them, yeah you can be a bitch if it helps you feel better- just please don't assume that everyone is willfully ignorant of how hurtful/upsetting/annoying a certain way of portraying things is), but also WANTING to do better and ACTUALLY doing better are two different things.

Maybe they didn't realize what they were doing was inaccurate. Maybe they didn't have the right tutorials. Maybe they tried to look it up, but that failed them. Either way, to some- especially neurodivergent artists- just being told that their work is bad or racist or awful isn't going to make them want to search for better resources in order to be more accurate, it's just going to make them give up.

Also! In fic and in writing, no one is going to get it right on the first try. Especially at the stage where we creators ARE merely in fan spaces is a great time to "fuck around and find out", before we bring our willfully or accidentally racist shit into monetized media. Absolutely hold your fan creators to higher standards, but literally fan work has so little actual impact on popular media (and this goes for just about every debate about fan spaces), and constructive criticism as well as routine practice can mean worlds for representation in future media. NOT allowing for mistakes in micro spaces like fandoms is how you get genuinely harmful or just... bad... portrayals of minorities in popularized media that DOES have an impact on the greater public. OR you get a bunch of creators who are too afraid to walk out of their own little bubbles, because what if they get it wrong and everyone turns against them. It's better to just "stick with what they know" (hobbies are something that you are meant to get better at, even if that is a slow road- for all of my writers and artists out there, it does take time, but you will get it. To everyone else, please do speak up about things that are wrong, but don't make it all about what's wrong and please don't be rude. It's frustrating on both ends, so, if you can, please try not to escalate the situation more.)

Anyways, I'm tired of everyone holding fictional characters to American Puritanical standards, but I'm also tired of seeing every "stop Americanizing fandom" somehow loop into fanfiction and how all authors who don't make their fics as accurate as possible are actually just racist and perpetuating or enabling America's take over of the world or some shit.

Fan interpretation of published media is different than fan creation of mon monetized media. Americans dominating or monopolizing spaces meant for all fans (especially in a fandom that was never meant for them to begin with) is annoying and can be harmful sometimes. Americans writing out their own personal experience using random fictional characters (more often than not) isn't.

[rogerslovesstark]

Hi there! A huge fan 💜💙 I was wondering if your requests are open?

If yes, could you please write an angsty fic where in reader is dating Bucky and for some reason he belittles her and breaks off their relationship. After which eventually everyone on the team stops talking to her. She's forced to leave off on her own and struggles a lot. Later Bucky realises his mistake and tries to contact her but the old her is gone. Like she finds her own happiness. Sorry if it's too detailed☹️

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

WARNING: Angst

Your recruitment to the team was quick and very low-key. Almost no one knew that you had joined the Avengers because you requested Tony not to hold a press conference. You loved being an Avenger, the idea of helping people in need was so fulfilling.

However, the spotlight of being an Avenger was not pleasant. You did not know how Tony and Steve were able to handle it, the constant feeling of eyes on you, paparazzi almost always being on top of everything you do.

The few events you did go to, you stood with Bucky most of the time. He always kept you safe and comfortable while the party was booming. The two of you would walk around the venues Tony would rent out, looking at the architecture of the building, admiring the art that was around.

The conversation was kept minimal because there was already so much noise from the party. Both silently agreed that there was no need for extra noise.

It was the New Years Party two years ago where Bucky asked you if you wanted to slow dance. The Venue had multiple balconies and he chose the smallest one for the two of you to dance.

The two of you swayed to the soft music that could be heard from the party. Once the clock hit 12:00, Bucky leaned over and kissed you. You two began dating shortly after.

Every Sunday was a day for a date unless either of you had a mission. Every other week you planned a date for you and Bucky, walks in the park, restaurants, bars, everything you could think of.

You developed a dependency on Bucky. Always seeking his reassurance, seeking his comfort and touch. You felt as though you were not complete unless you were with Bucky. 

Your childhood was to blame, primarily your father. Physically, your dad was there but not emotionally. You never received emotional love from your father, the ‘I’m so proud of you’ or ‘you’re doing amazing’ Just a stiff nod.  

Being raised by your psychotic father was the reason you developed into the cold-hearted killer you were. From 16-19, you worked as a mercenary and killed for money.

You craved emotional validation from someone because you were so deprived of it when you were a child. You struggled to form relationships with others because of it too. That was one of the main reasons why you were not as close to the team.

Bucky would always smile at you, or kiss you when you were excited about something you would accomplish. On missions, he would always stay near you unless instructed otherwise by Steve. 

Bucky has been extremely off recently, always working with Steve, or working out with Sam, helping Wanda train her new abilities because it’s hard to kill a super-soldier than a normal human. 

He had missed five Sunday dates. Five of them. In those five weeks, you barely saw him and it was driving you crazy. You constantly would search for the time where the two of you could just be alone. You were so deprived of physical touch and emotional love, you began to fall into a depressive state. 

You walked towards the conference room, you asked Friday where Bucky was. She said he was in the conference room alone which is weird that she specified.

You opened the door and found Bucky just sitting on his phone. It was almost 10:30pm and he was just chilling in the conference room on his phone.

“Baby, I’ve been looking for you,” You said, walking over to him and running your hands along his broad and muscular shoulders. He was always so tense when he was sitting hunched over.

He shrugged you off his shoulders and turned to look at you. Not a soft, loving kind of look that a lover would typically give his lover; he gave a harsh glare as if you had done something to him. 

“God, you are so fucking annoying, you know that,” Bucky said. He grabbed that hand that was touching you and stood up from his chair. He let go of your hand rather quickly as soon as he stood from the chair. 

“I can’t fucking stand being around you Y/n, I don’t know why I ever asked you to be my fucking girlfriend,” He said, lowering his face closer to your face so the two of you were at eye level. 

Tears pooled in your eyes, every word he said was like a thin blade stabbing you in the stomach over and over again. You did not know what you did wrong, you had not even seen him in almost a week despite living with him.

“I’m sorry Bucky, I’ll be better, what can I do to be better, please,” You whispered, if your voice were any higher, you would being sobbing. 

Bucky just watched as you pathetically tried to hold your sobs in. You really were a weak woman and Bucky knew that. He knew that he held you in the palm of his hand and if he wanted to, he could break you.

He watched as your world crumbled around you because Bucky had decided to hurt you. Your hands were shaking and curled into fists. Your nose was turning red from holding back your tears.

“You are nothing without me, and I don’t want you anymore, so get the fuck out of my face and leave. No one on the team likes you, they would rather see you dead than ever have to see your horrific face ever again.” Bucky snarled, ready to see you burst into tears.

He knew that was the last straw.

You quickly turned around and left before you burst into tears. Bucky grabbed your arm and tried to turn you around, wanting to see you cry. You were forced to turn around, tears in your eyes pulling your hand back and smacking Bucky on his cheek. 

You left him dazed in the conference room. You ran to your shared room, collecting all your belongings. You had a small apartment in the heart of Montreal that no one knew about. You deliberately left off your information given to FRIDAY.

“FRIDAY, get rid of all information regarding Y/N L/N” You requested.

“Request denied, reasoning: unauthorized access to function,”

“Override denial, code Tony Stark has a fat ass” You rolled your eyes at the code Tony had told you to be used as a last resort code.

“Permission granted, removing all information regrading Y/N L/N,”

You grabbed a piece of paper on your desk, writing a short goodbye to Tony knowing he would wonder where you went. You quietly walk over to Tony’s office and placed it on the monitor he mainly used.

You left the compound shortly after, walking seven miles to the small car you planted in the forest. You prepared this as a last resort option. You never wanted to use this car but times were desperate and you had to get away from Bucky.

++++

You were struggling, barely able to figure out how to live on your own. The money you had saved from working for the Avengers was running low and the waitress job you did have has barely enough to pay the bills you had. 

Montreal was really expensive you ended up realizing, with such a horrible job, you sold your apartment and moved in with some college students in a small house. You shared a bedroom with one of the women in the house. 

Ashley, your roommate, actually found the job for you, she helped you changed your appearance and spotted your money whenever you were desperate for it.

You had no skill set for an actual job, the only skills you had were killing. And your skills had developed rapidly as an Avenger. You knew what you had to do to survive.

The first kill that you had was a child trafficker in Toronto. Ashley covered for you, saying you two would go to a spa for a girl's weekend. She stayed at the spa while you finished the job. You gave her 20% of the income made. 

You two had gotten close over the two years that you spent in the shared house. She was one of the only people that you trusted at this point. She suggested that you started therapy, which you decided to actually go to.

Your therapist wanted you to start realizing that you were more than who you surrounded yourself in. You deserved the love that you craved and you could only get it when you truly loved yourself.

++++

Bucky was laying in the bed the two of you shared. Two years had passed since he had driven you out of his life. He didn’t know why he did it, he was so upset because he saw you flirting with Tony. But Tony got engaged to Pepper only a few days later. 

After nine months of you being away, he started to crave your presence in his life. He asked FRIDAY where you were but she had no information on you. When FRIDAY said she had no information on you, he had one of the biggest meltdowns he ever experienced. 

You were officially gone from his life. Even with all the winter soldier experience of tracking people down, he couldn’t find you. Bucky knew that you were smart, you could hide in plain sight if you wanted to. 

It was in Toronto that he saw you again. Bucky’s whole world stopped after he saw you. You were so different now. Your hair was completely different from what he was used to, and you dressed differently too. 

It took him two months to finally get you to speak to him.

“What do you want Bucky?” The way you used to speak to him was so soft, now you were so cold towards him. Bucky’s stomach churned, almost nervous to respond to you.

“Y/n, please come back, I’m sorry for everything I have done to you, everything I said was a lie. I still love you” Bucky pleaded to you. 

“Bucky I’m not the same woman I used to be, you broke me, I was so broken and I was the only one who fixed me. You don’t get to come back after I learned how to not live with you.” You shouted at him.

Tears pooled in Bucky’s eye, he had lost the one person who had shown him, true love. The one person he wanted to protect for the rest of his life. He lost you, forever.

[chaoticevilbean]

Voltron Humans are Weird 2/?

Lance tapped his fingers against the ground again and again, eyes boring into the laser wall that kept them trapped in the cell. Two sentries stood outside, stiff and cold. He had been silent from the moment the Galra had captured him and Pidge on their intelligence-gathering mission. The others were sure to come for them, but the Cuban worried about what might happen before then. Pidge was his little sister in all but blood. He didn't know how he'd survive anything happening to her.

Loud, heavy footsteps pounded their way towards the cell, causing Pidge to scoot closer to Lance, her hands clenched and shoulders tight. The older Paladin moved a bit in front of his comrade, just as tense but ready to fight anyone who tried to hurt the younger. A large Galran commander, broad and furred, stopped at their cell, motioning at the sentries to lower the laser wall. They obeyed, and the commander walked towards his prisoners, teeth bared in what was either a smile or a snarl.

"So we've finally caught some of the famous Voltron Paladins," he growled out. "And you were foolish enough to bring the Green Lion along. Three little presents for the Emperor. Only," the Galra paused, and his mouth closed as he smirked, "he doesn't care about the condition the Paladins of Voltron are in. Which means I can do whatever is necessary to obtain the possible information you have."

"I knew the Galra were stupid, but I didn't know you were dumb enough to think that we'd give you intel."

"Silence, Voltron scum. With the right methods, you'll give me anything I want." Lance grimaced, but quickly turned it into a smirk. The Paladins had learned rather quickly that it is much harder for aliens to lie or hide their emotions, so even amateur acting among humans would be considered highly skilled for other races. It worked to Voltron's advantage that Terrans were underestimated by aliens, leaving them to believe that such skills like lying were beyond the humans' level. Even the Alteans had yet to figure out that the Paladins could lie with ease.

"We're trained in the art of torture, both in inflicting pain upon our enemies in ways that leave them begging for mercy, and in withstanding that which is inflicted upon us. We have watched each other suffer and learned to defy our natural protective instincts. Unless you have something new to give us, which I highly doubt, there is no way you will succeed in getting information." Pidge side-eyed her companion, but was quick to catch on and smirk as well, as though completely confident in her abilities to resist torture.

"Then I guess we'll give you something new, Blue Paladin," the commander sneered, signaling the sentries to grab Lance. As he was dragged out, the Cuban's only thoughts were of how it was him and not his little sister. The Green Paladin looked on with a stoic face, set in the act that had only just begun, but horror was in her eyes.

Lance was taken to a new room and stuck in a chair. He was flanked by two sentries and four Galran soldiers lined the walls. The door closed with a slam, and the Blue Paladin knew he had no chance of fighting his way out. Though he followed Pidge's lead in retaining an expression of indifference, his heart clenched at the thought that whatever torture they had in mind didn't require restraints. It was a scarier notion than if he had been completely subdued.

The commander moved into Lance's view, his sneer still present. He beckoned a soldier forward, a large box in their hands. It was placed on the table, a dull thunk echoing in the room. The soldier scurried backwards as the contents of the container were unloaded. Several beakers, a few sealed cartons, and a plate of what seemed to be mint leaves. Lance attempted to maintain his straight face, keeping himself as still as possible as he studied the probable poisons. It made sense now. He had no chance of fighting his way out, and poison didn't require restraints. All it required was getting it into the desired person's system.

"Well, Paladin, I do hope that you've prepared for your inevitable demise. Maybe you'll manage to squeeze out a surrender as you burn from the inside." As he spoke, the hulking Galra opened one of the cartons, carefully using a scoop to measure out some bright red powder. He seemed extremely cautious of the substance, and Lance tensed in anticipation. The scoop was brought towards his face, and the sentries on either side of him held their guns aimed at his head. His only chance of living was ingesting whatever was given to him.

The commander grasped Lance's jaw, forcing the human's mouth open and dumping the powder in. The boy's eyes widened as he tasted the poison. It... was... spicy. All of the Galra in the room were staring at their prisoner, the underlings peering nervously at him as though he were about to collapse.

But Lance's mind was elsewhere. The poison was spicy, not a whole lot, but maybe like a jalepeno, and only for a moment before it started to fade. He had swallowed immediately, and the burn felt no worse than his mother's mild chili, made for the young ones and their low tolerances. Many of the foods in space were bland, practically tasteless. Even if this poison was deadly, Lance wanted more. He missed spicy foods, missed the burn and the numbness that came with them. He was the kind of person that had tried ghost peppers and Carolina Reapers for fun.

"Is the pain so much that you can't speak, oh great Paladin," his captor asked with venom and victory in his voice. "Do you think you were prepared enough for this?"

"What is this," Lance suddenly questioned, turning to face the Galra head-on with curiosity dominating his expression. The being was surprised, but nonetheless answered.

"A deadly poison that burns through all it touches, C18H27NO3. We learned the human word from the Champion when he was given a small portion of it, to test his strength. Your species calls it capsaicin."

"Capsaicin?" The commander nodded, his smirk back in place, though it disappeared with the next words. "I love this stuff! When my team comes to save us, can we have your supply?"

"For what?" one of the soldiers spoke up fearfully, their eyes trained on the Terran.

"For food! We use capsaicin to season our food! It's delicious!"

"It burns!"

"I know! It's sooo good!" The commander slammed his fist onto the table, growling. He closed the carton and moved it aside, pulling one of the beakers over instead.

"Perhaps this will be better suited for our motives!" His voice raised as he shoved the glass container over to Lance. The boy was less nervous about this, instead grasping the beaker and promptly downing the entire dark liquid. If the powder was capsaicin, then chances are the other 'poisons' were actually not toxic to him. Hunk had once mentioned that many foods humans consumed were considered highly poisonous. The liquid was black tea, served cold.

"So why is black tea considered poisonous? Lemme guess, the caffeine?" The Paladin leaned back in his chair, arms rising to go behind his head. He was greatly amused by the faces of the Galra in the room, and decided that he would take this to the next level. Their own plan reversed and used against them.

The Cuban leaned back forward, bent over the table as he grabbed another beaker. It was fizzing, so he assumed carbonated soda. It was indeed Diet Coke, or something similar.

"Man, these poisons are failing at their jobs. The first is in many dishes back home, the second is used to keep people awake, and this one is soda. We drink it as a common beverage or a treat." He snatched a carton next, pulling out a piece of pineapple. "Mmm, bromelain. The snack that eats you back." He popped the fruit into his mouth, then a few more, chewing with vigor at the delicious taste. Oh how he had missed Earth foods.

He proceeded to wash down the snack with some of the next beaker, though he stopped halfway through chugging it when he realized what it was.

"Shiro will kill me if I get drunk, and I'm not risking it to prove a point. Ethanol may be a fun recreational drink, but not for kids." The Galra seemed more alarmed at that (though Lance would only later learn it was a combination of him referring to himself as a kid and calling ethanol a fun recreational drink), but Lance was already grabbing the container of clear liquid.

"Seriously? You guys think water is poisonous?"

"THAT IS DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE AND YOU SHOULD BE DEAD TEN TIMES OVER!" the commander screamed in the Terran's face. Said Terran sighed.

"Bud, humans need dihydrogen monoxide, or water as we call it, in order to survive. Our planet is literally 70% of this stuff. It rains this stuff. We sweat this stuff. I told you that there weren't any methods that could get me to talk. Now pass over those mint leaves and whatever else you think should kill me. I want to save it for Hunk so we can have some food that actually has flavor for once."

The alarms blared before any of the soldiers or higher-up could respond. All personnel rushed from the room, desperate to leave the human behind. Lance was perfectly happy to wait. Chances are they would forget about Pidge due to his terror tactics, and that meant that the sentries would-

Yep, there they were, powering down. The others must've been spotted on the cameras while getting the female Paladin out. Lance got to his feet, whistling a merry tune. He put all the containers and the plate back into the box, closing the lid. With a small heave, he began his way out, carrying his cargo towards where the Lions were most likely to be held.

About five minutes into his rather casual escape, Keith and Pidge came barreling around a corner. The smaller one let out a sigh of relief, pleased to see her brother-in-arms unharmed. Both showed confusion at the box, but neither questioned it, reserving that for later when they weren't on an enemy ship. Instead, they each grabbed a side of the Blue Paladin and his cargo, and took off once more for the exit route.

It took them an hour to get back to the Castle, between lugging the box back to the Green Lion, taking care of any soldiers between them and their escape, and getting rid of the cruisers. Lance immediately disembarked the robotic feline and headed for the kitchen, box in his arms. The other Paladins followed after, curious as to what was so important their comrade risked his freedom to obtain it. Pidge and Keith also wanted to get the story of how Lance wasn't locked up or injured in any way when they found him.

In the kitchen, the Blue Paladin of Voltron began unloading the contents of his prize, and Pidge immediately whipped out a scanner. Her face lit up at the sight of her screen, recognizing what the information was saying about the 'poisons'.

"No. Way," she whispered, looking up at Lance with the biggest smile ever. "No. Quiznacking. WAY! OH MY GLOB, YOU FOUND EARTH FOOD!"

"That's Earth food?" Hunk picked up.

"Quiznack yeah! No more tasteless goop!"

"You risked not escaping to get food?"

"Shiro," Lance called, silencing the chaos that was rising. "I told them that we Paladins are trained in the art of torture and can withstand both our own pain and watching each other in pain. Told them that there wasn't anything they had that could hurt us enough to break our wills." Shiro blanched for a moment before he realized what that meant. The Galra would always take whatever the Paladins said as truth. "That commander that tried to torture me thought he had some great way to break me... Poison."

"They thought these were poisons?" Keith asked incredulously. Lance nodded.

"Not only did it let me know that they don't know anything about humans who train against torture, but also nothing about human biology. I mean, even if all of this was actually toxic to us, a lot of people that learn to resist torture build up immunities to poison as well. They know nothing about us. And guess what, Hunk?"

"Hmm?" Hunk's eyes caught the mischievous glint in his bro's eyes. This was gonna be good.

"The first thing they gave me... a scoop of capsaicin."

"No way." Matching grins spread on the duo's faces. At the Garrison, in their first three months there, Lance would eat jalepenos with every meal thanks to the large variety of food the cafeteria provided. A benefit of going to a prestigious school that felt a little bad about how hard it pushed its students. He kept eating the peppers at every meal and as snacks for his entire school experience, but in those first three months, the other students couldn't seem to believe it. Some thought he was exaggerating his tolerance of spiciness, and some wanted to see how much he could handle. Soon enough, there were kids buying the spiciest foods and peppers they could, then going up to Lance at meals or between classes to bet against him eating it. Every single time, Lance would accept the bet, devour the food, and pull the money from his stunned peers' fingers. Several occasions, he was late to Iverson's class and was seen towing whatever frozen kid had bet that time behind him. Iverson hated it when that happened, mostly because every other student vouched that it wasn't Lance's fault and that he was probably suffering an awful burning sensation at that very moment. He wasn't.

By the end of those three months, he had gained over $3,000 from the bets, and the faculty couldn't do anything. He split the money with Hunk, especially when his roommate used that money to buy spices for food he would always share with the Cuban. Throughout the rest of the school year, whenever someone new transferred in, the other students convinced them to do a bet as well, if only so they could watch someone else suffer as they had suffered. It continued the next year as a tradition, with former peers tricking both younger and older kids to bet, and some bringing in items they had saved just for that occasion. Pidge was never tricked into betting, due to her insistence on being alone, and neither was Keith, because he was an extreme loner that no one could seem to befriend.

Hunk and Lance therefore both knew that there was no way aliens, who couldn't handle capsaicin, who had practically tasteless food because of their intolerances, could somehow give Lance something spicy enough to hurt him in any way.

"Someone want to clue us in?" Pidge asked, eyeing the rest of the Garrison Trio.

"Did you ever hear about the Spice King?" Hunk shot back, as way of a response.

"I did," Keith interjected. "I never met them, but I heard that it was someone who could eat anything from bell peppers to Carolina Reapers and still make it to class on time."

"Oh, I think I did, too," Pidge exclaimed. "I heard in passing, but I was so obsessed back then that I never found out anything more than they existed."

"Well, the Spice King was a kid in our year," Hunk started. "He was this dude who could indeed eat anything spicy. The only reason he was ever late to class was because he made sure that whoever gave him the food got there as well. They almost always froze up because he would just accept what they gave and eat it on the spot. Kids in our year bet against him every day, multiple times on some. The dude earned a few thousand because they wouldn't stop. Usually, students would convince others to bet against him just because they wanted it to be done by everyone. Happened every year as well."

"Adam told me about that kid. Apparently, the teachers couldn't do anything to stop the betting. It wasn't gambling because the outcome was always the same and it wasn't like anything was being sold. Do you know who he is?" Shiro had his arms crossed as he stared curiously at the Yellow Paladin, who was now beaming in excitement.

"It was Lance."

Silence.

"The Galra tried to feed me, the Spice King, a spoonful of spice to make me give them information. Apparently, it was supposed to burn really badly. It wasn't even that bad. Barely jalepeno level. And then the commander went for some really dark liquid, and at that point, I was like 'if they think capsaicin is poison, what else do they got that is poison to them, but not to me' and so I just took the beaker from them and downed it. It turned out to be black tea, and I just gave up on the whole pretending to be a prisoner because they thought I was gonna die from caffeine. Caffeine. If I remember correctly, I had soda, water, pineapple, and a bit of alcohol, but- but," Lance held up a hand to stop Shiro's lecture, "I only chugged it because I didn't know what it was and I stopped the moment that I realized it was ethanol. Although, to be honest, it was really watered down. Well, not watered down, because water is supposedly toxic, but it was real weak. Like, a preteen could probably drink that entire beaker and it wouldn't do anything. It's right... here." He pushed the glass container towards Shiro, knowing that the man would want the alcohol away from children and near his own mouth. The dude was a tired dad in every sense. "Anyways, they got really terrified, especially when I kept making remarks about Terran uses for each 'poison', so all the Galra rushed out the moment the alarm went off, and then Pidge shut the sentries down so I just packed up the box and brought it along. I thought we'd all enjoy some flavor in our food. I also wanted- no, I needed the spice. Spice is life."

Shiro sighed, and picked up the beaker of ethanol, plainly about to down the entire thing. He was prevented from doing so - and the others were prevented from asking their burning questions - by a high-pitched, very terrified voice.

"PUT THAT DOWN, NUMBER ONE! IT'S HIGHLY TOXIC!"

"WHY IS THERE A BOX OF POISONS ON THE TABLE? GET THEM PUT AWAY, QUICKLY!"

"NUMBER THREE, STEP AWAY FROM THEM, YOU'LL BE DEAD IN TICKS IF THOSE TOUCH YOU!"

"Woah, woah, guys, it's okay," Shiro attempted to calm the Alteans.

"IT IS VERY MUCH NOT OKAY! WHY DID YOU EVEN BRING THOSE ABOARD?"

"PUT THE BEAKER DOWN, NUMBER ONE! WE NEED YOU ALIVE! THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN!"

"QUIET!" the Black Paladin snapped, patience running out like a little kid runs out of Halloween candy. The aliens fell silent, staring in shock at the leader of Voltron. Said man held out the glass, tipped it slightly in a cheers that showed the liquid quite clearly, then swiftly pulled it to his lips and drank the entire thing in one go. Allura and Coran both gasped in terror, eyes comically wide as they could only gape at the human. Shiro finished the drink off with a satisfied exhale, his own eyes closing for a moment as he simply took in the moment.

"Well, you were right about it being weak. I don't think an entire barrel of that stuff could make me so much as dizzy. And princess, Coran, this stuff isn't poisonous. At least, the- uh... Lance, what's the stuff that's in what you had?"

"Bromelain, caffeine, capsaicin, dihydrogen monoxide, ethanol, and carbonation."

"Those aren't poisonous to humans. They're actually considered common foods and drinks on Earth. Once Pidge finishes scanning it all, Hunk'll probably include it in our meals. No offense to either of you, but your food is awful. It's so bland that I once licked a rock I found on a planet just because it was salty and took away from the horrible taste that goo left in my mouth."

"Oh, I remember that," Keith put in. "That's why we got those salt-licks from the Earth store at our last mall trip."

"You- how are you not dead?" Allura finally blurted out, face tinging blue.

"Ethanol, or alcohol as we humans call it, is a large part of human culture. It used to be safer to consume products with ethanol than it was to consume just water, so people gained higher tolerances to it. It still affects us, and we can still die, but if it's taken in moderation and you wait until your body is fully matured, the effects are extremely minimal. Even now that most people have access to clean water, alcohol consumption is a common recreational activity. That said, Lance, you better drink lots of water. However weak that stuff was, I don't want to risk anything." Lance nodded as Coran spoke up.

"You consume ethanol, a known poison, which is still considered toxic to humans, for fun?" A nod answered. "What about the C18H27NO3? And the C39H66N2O29? C8H10N4O2? H2O?"

"Translation?"

"Capsaicin, bromelain, caffeine, and water."

"Oh, well, capsaicin is a poison found in peppers and I think a few other plants. Humans use it as a seasoning, and depending on where each person is from and how they grew up, tolerance levels vary. For example, Lance can eat a pepper that burns your hands severely. His tolerance is really high, probably one of the highest I've heard of. He was famous at the Garrison for it. On the other hand, I can barely handle a jalapeno, which is a pretty mild in comparison. Scratch that, it is very mild when compared to a Carolina Reaper."

"Bromelain is known to be toxic as well. But for us humans, it usually only causes a tingling or itching in the mouth, occasionally mild reactions in our stomachs as well. Our saliva and stomach acids digest the bromelain before it digests us, and so many people enjoy consuming pineapple, which contains bromelain, as a snack. There's even this big, extremely long dispute about whether pineapple should be put on pizza or not. Personally, we all had that discussion, and have agreed to each their own."

"Caffeine is commonly found in coffee and some teas, and in many sodas, which are all beverages. Chocolate is a treat that also can contain caffeine, and it's eaten by basically everyone who isn't allergic. Caffeine has been known to have adverse effects on people, but it's much like ethanol: consume in moderation and it won't do as much harm. It's actually used to help people focus and become more aware of their surroundings. What I wouldn't give for a cup of coffee."

"Black?"

"Common misconception. I actually enjoy mochas."

"Nice, but have you tried a con panna?"

"I was going to but my plan was derailed by a certain Empire of purple aliens."

"We have to get coffee at the Earth store. Or maybe a poison store. I mean, if caffeine is poison, the odds are good it'll be there. Then, Kaltenecker and I are making you the best con panna ever." Allura cleared her throat to gain Shiro's attention once more.

"What about dihydrogen monoxide? How is that considered nontoxic?" All five humans exchanged amused looks, chuckles slipping out at the chaos they were about to unleash.

"Princess, dihydrogen monoxide covers 71% of our planet. Most weather revolves around it and humans are actually made up of 60% water, with our brains being about three-quarters of water. We need to consume dihydrogen monoxide to live. I think the only reason we didn't die from dehydration is because the Castle started producing water for us. Really glad, too. Dehydration is an awful way to go."

"Your water is dihydrogen monoxide?"

"What's your water?"

"We Alteans did not have water. It's only translated because of other races and their need for liquids. Coran and I gain most of our fluids from goo and hydration pouches."

"Okay, so what does dihydrogen monoxide do to most species?"

"Number One... think instant death."

"Can we put this aside for now?" Hunk called out. He was holding the spice in his hands, running his fingers like it was solid gold.

"What're planning on making?" And just like that, the Alteans and their dismay were left behind to discuss something else. Allura and Coran exchanged looks and swiftly left once again to the control room, pulling up their new log.

Humans are extremely resistant to toxins. Many chemicals in Terran foods and drinks are highly poisonous to most other races. A list of known poisons in Terran victuals is included below. Some of these are actually harmful to humans, yet they will still be consumed. Once again, a list is included of these chemicals. Important chemicals to remember for the care of humans are caffeine and ethanol. Caffeine can be used to bring a human into a more alert and focused state. Effectiveness is yet to be discovered, and the chemical should be given in extreme moderation until more data is collected. Ethanol is known to be harmful to Terrans, but is still used as a recreational drink. Sparingly give to humans, and only when they are stressed or somber. It is a rule that only fully matured humans are allowed to consume this beverage, given the harmful effects.

Dihydrogen monoxide covers a little under 3/4 of Earth's surface, and is necessary for the survival of humans. Under no circumstances is it to be kept away from a Terran who requests the substance. Terran weather usually includes dihydrogen monoxide, so caution is advised when visiting Earth. Until further information is gathered, avoiding visiting the planet at all would be prudent. Be warned that humans are 60% dihydrogen monoxide, so touching a human's skin or fluids would be very dangerous and should be prevented at all costs, especially if a being is unprotected and/or particularly susceptible to the substance. Humans will likely not realize they are covered in poison, so it is best if they are reminded each time they meet with a being from another race, until they remember on their own.

Data is still being collected about this species. Approach with caution.