#in which jimmy is a bad omen

[the-hipster-nugget]

The ranchers were such a beautiful match up in double life I love the way double life brought unlikely duos together. Pairing up somebody doomed to die an insignificant forgotten death with somebody whose death is so important is literally a bad omen? It’s so gorgeously beautiful and clashes in such a good way.

Tango has never been with somebody who ever mourned him, and Jimmys never been unconditionally loved. Tango loves jimmy in a way he’s never experienced before, Tango treats Jimmy so well and never teases or belittles him. The ranchers never once blame each other for anything, they trust each other completely which is something neither of them are used to.

Tango is often treated as unimportant by everyone, especially his allies. He’s just an asset at best, never a friend and never somebody they even think twice about when things go sour. Tango dies, and nobody notices.

But not Jimmy. Jimmy is noticed. Jimmy is treated like a burden, and mocked and laughed at by his allies more than anything else. When Jimmy dies, it’s the start of chaos— and it’s all jimmy is watered down to be. “Silly stupid jimmy, dying first again.”

The two are so used to being tossed around and mocked by people who are supposed to be their friends, to experience such genuine unconditional love and trust is so new for them. The ranchers finally get a fresh start, and get to live life without fear of being betrayed by one and other.

They really are soulmates, and had no clue until double life came along to finally push them together. The two match so well, the unseen and the seen. The bad omen and his unlucky lover. The canary and the fire that burned its wings.

Tango no longer dies with nobody there to remember him. Jimmy no longer dies in the dark, first and alone. They have each other.

Tango is not used to someone remembering, so when he sees Jimmy waiting there for him in the afterlife, he cannot believe it. Why is he still here? Why hasn’t he moved on and forgotten tango like everyone else?

“You’re still here?”

“It’s over.”

“Go…”

“Go home.”

But Jimmy is home.

Tango does not realize it, but he is finally loved. Jimmy is still there, and he’s home. Along side tango in a charred and empty ranch, they are home. No matter what afterlife brings, whether it be a sunny field of cows, or a black void of nothingness—

The ranchers are with each other, and they are home.

[cherrifire]

Hi :D Logic behind the latest batch of cutie marks? if you feel like sharing :)

Hello everypony ^-^ It is cuie mark info dump again ^-^

Before we start, reminder that Grian + Tango do not have cutie marks because they are a hippogriff and a Kirin respectively. Non-pony creatures do not have cutie marks :)

Now that we've got that out of the way, let's get started!

Mumbo's Cutie Mark

I'm the proudest of this one because it'd simple but affective.

Mumbo's cutie mark is a tangled-up red wire which has been cut at the ends to expose the conductors. The wire is also particularly made to create an 'M' shape.

Similar to Impulse's cutie mark, Mumbo's is related to electricity for his investment in redstone. Electricity being the closest thing to it. That said, I gave Mumbo a wire because it is the baseline of all electricity. It connects everything together. From the power source and into whatever little machine or contraption you've built, wires are needed to keep it all powered! So I thought using it as a cutie mark would work really well for Mumbo. Sometimes he can just bring people together just like a wire does for electricity.

(And the little knot in the wire is just a little something to indicate Mumbo may be a bit of a mess)

Additionally, with the wire being in the shape of an 'M' it could stand for Mumbo while also being in the shape of a mustache too :)

Scar's Cutie Mark

Capitalism baby! Scar's cutie mark is of a red top hat next to a bag of bits (the currency in my little pony is called bits and are essentially gold coins).

At heart, Scar is a swindler. He's full of joy and whimsy sure, but he has a real talent for selling little trinkets to anypony who takes a look at his store front. In my head, Scar is essentially the flim and flam of this AU. He's a wandering salespony who shows up from time to time with things to sell from all across Equestria! That's where the little bag can be interpreted as a bag of coins, or a bag full of mystery items he's collected over the years.

Also, the top hat is there to represent Scar's salespony flair.

Joel's Cutie Mark

Joel's cutie mark is of a greek stone pillar and a chisel.

There are a couple of meanings to this one. The first one is pretty obvious, Joel loves to build! He's a fantastic builder with an eye for design. So I chose a greek pillar to represent one of my favourite builds of his, Stratos! But of course, a simple pillar can be used for lots of things and that's where the second meaning comes in. To hold things up! Joel holds himself up to on pretty high pedestal. He's very full of himself and I honestly can't blame him. Joel is great! So of course I had to represent his ego in his cutie mark somehow.

Jimmy's Cutie Mark

Jimmy's cutie mark is of a little canary bird. Another cutie mark with two meanings behind it!

First, is the obvious one. The canary in the coal mine. Misfortune will fall upon the canary to indicate to others that the journey may be too dangerous to continue. A bad luck charm if you will or a bad omen. And that's the surface meaning of his cutie mark that everypony knows it for. Jimmy is the poor clumsy pony in town who always seems to hurt himself before things go wrong.

However, there is a second meaning. Canary birds are also supposed to happiness and harmony. This is the main core of the cutie mark which gets over looked. Despite the bad implications of his cutie mark, it does not stop Jimmy from spreading joy wherever he goes. He's kind and joyous, keeping a positive attitude no matter what.

(I of course have a Ranchers plot point where Tango says this to Jimmy to cheer him up about his cutie mark one day. Tango, who has never had a cutie mark and does not understand their importance, says he doesn't see Jimmy as bad luck, but instead feels joy when Jimmy smiles no matter the situation. But that's a story for another day 🤭)

[theminecraftbee]

task: answer the following question. do you believe in curses? respond as completely with relevant information as possible.

Grian: Well, that's a lie. This isn't a task. I know it's not a task, I set the things up! Not sure why we're getting a question as pointless as this one, but sure, mysterious scroll, I'll answer. There's no such thing as curses, unless you're Timmy, in which case it's funny, yeah? Besides, I didn't actually kill Etho. Even if that did count, self-fulfilling prophecies aren't the same thing as curses, and I know which one I fall under.

Joel: Do I believe in bloody curses what kind of question is that? Do I really get hearts just for answering this? This feels like a prank or something... well, whatever. There are no such thing as curses, except the Boogeyman curse, which I sort of had today, but it wasn't actually the same at all. A lot of the bloodlust, sure, but a lot more... Etho had to be the one to do it, huh? And it's not the same. Not comforting. That's a stupid thing to say actually. Take it out of wherever you're putting this. Cut it out of the recording. Comforting. Please. As if it were ever... Yeah, I'm done actually. Don't have a good answer. Go away.

Scott: What, other than Jimmy? Bless that man, he may not have died first, but he sure tried his best. Sure, I'll believe Jimmy is cursed. I mean, mostly he's just kind of stupid. Lovingly so. I mean, despite him being stupid, I put up with him, right? That seems like a complete answer to this question. Jimmy's an omen but we put up with him anyway. That's all.

Mumbo: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.

Pearl: Oh, I mean, I'm probably cursed. That's what everyone liked to say at one point. I think... I mean, I think this time I have good friends, which is nice. They don't think I'm cursed. And it's not like I--I mean, it's surprisingly fun, acting cursed! And I am just acting. Acting scary, blowing up dance floors, all of that. And I don't really have to this time, so... Maybe I'm not cursed? And since it's acting, it's not real? This is a weird question.

Etho: Oh, man, that's a question. Um, do I have to answer? Because I feel like if I say no, that's really just asking for it, but if I say yes, I have to explain myself. Uh, I think I'm abstaining, unless the zombie thing from earlier counts. That was scary and I hated it. Curses are scary and I hate them in general, but apparently I'm good at them, if you ask everyone else. Um, it's not the only thing I find scary that apparently I'm good at.

Scar: Why, of course I believe in curses! Look at poor, poor... Timbert? Timmy? Jim? Gosh, sorry, I'm very tired right now. That's more proof of curses, by the way! That I'm tired. I've been tired straight since the desert, let me tell you what. And that, my friends, is a curse like no other. What a terrible beast, loneliness is. Wish me luck breaking it, because it's not happening this season!

Cleo: Oh, you mean the thing people like to blame instead of their own actions? Nah. My soulbond was kind of a curse, I guess, but even that's at least half just... bad people. Bad relationships. Good ones, too. We're all just doing what you can, you know? No script, no curses, no characters, just... Oh, I hope everything turns out tomorrow. Sorry, that's unrelated. It's just nicer to hope than to preemptively blame things on curses that don't exist.

Impulse: Well, I mean, I didn't until you just asked me that, but now I feel like I should. Wouldn't that be nice? Being cursed instead of just sort of unlovable? Sorry, no, that's mean to Gem. I shouldn't say that about Gem, she's been good this season. Super, super cursed, mind you, in the like, game mechanic sense? But she's been good, no backstabbing or inability to get love involved. Um, and I guess that's not fair to Bdubs, kind of, except it also totally is and I haven't forgiven him. So I guess if they ask I said I believed in curses, and that's why my life keeps circling clocks? Don't put any of that other stuff down, I'm trying to work on that.

Lizzie: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.

Gem: I was just cursed for a task, but that probably isn't what you're asking about, right? I'm new, so I don't know! A task is a concrete thing to believe in, like bloodshed or victory or fun and games. You don't have to believe in those to know they're real, either! They just are, whether you like it or not. I understand that much!

Tango: Gah, don't talk to me about... Deep breaths. Look, I don't care if it's a curse, or if it's just me being really bad, or what, I'm not going out pointlessly this time. Jimmy managed not to die first, I can manage to not go out to a stray arrow or my own bomb or a misstep this time, right? Is that so much to ask?

Skizz: Huh? Curses? I mean, I don't think so, and to be totally honest I think it's kind of mean the way people sometimes rag on people about them. Everyone's got so many good things about them! Why do people like to focus on the unfortunate luck, huh?

Bdubs: Hah! Curses! Let me tell you about curses. When I see curses, I eat them for breakfast. I don't got curses, I've got better things to do! I've got my buddies with the Mounders, and I've got-well, I'd say keeping Etho safe, but he's being weird at me again this season. Not that it matters. It never matters. Etho and I, we're... The point is, that doesn't matter anyway, because I have the Mounders, and they're the ones who matter here. And because I'm a strong, independent Bdubs, who doesn't need anyone but my bow and my perfect, flawless fighting prowess! Sorry, what was the question? I've been thinking so much lately that it's just sort of made everything else pop out of my head, so it's hard to keep track. I'm sure I answered it flawlessly, though.

Martyn: Of course there are curses. That's half the fun for you lot, isn't it? Putting your little curses on us and watching us rail against them. Bet you think it's real cute to ask us what we think of the things, too. "Oh, what do you think of curses," like we have any control over them. Please. If I had any control over curses, Jimmy--or, well, no, I guess that one was technically broken, wasn't it? Sure doesn't feel like it. Point is, curses are bad, and they're definitely real, and I hate you for them, got it?

BigB: Look, man, if you're trying to get me to write my character out for you, just say so! I won't tell anyone. We can come up with a hole thing about holes and red tasks and the Backrooms together! It'll be fun! After all, you probably don't know what kind of curse to say I have, right? Haha, just kidding. I have no idea what I'm talking about. Luckily, neither does anyone else, so I think that evens out between the lot of us.

Jimmy: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Chapter 3 - You've Torn Your Dress

Series Masterlist

Author's Note: This one's the first of many doozies. I recommend you clock out now if you think the following will distress you: mentions of rape, but no scenes or explicit description. If not, read on! Chapter Title is from Rebel Rebel by David Bowie.

Word Count: 7.7k

Chapter Summary/Warnings: Your first mission is delivered, and it goes about as expected. Contains usual tags, emphasis on mention of rape/non-con.

Tags: Soldier Boy/Supe!Female Reader, canon divergence, enemies to friends to lovers, canon divergence, slow burn, angst

Read on A03!

Chapter 2 - Chapter 4

Want to be tagged? Just ask!

When your team stepped into the safe house, you could see the moment the smell hit their noses.

“Merde,” Frenchie was the first to speak, a poor omen within itself. “What the fuck am I smelling?”

“Uh, probably the milk and meat. They’re the strongest.”

Annie said your name carefully, watching your reaction as she spoke. “What happened.”

“He wouldn’t put away the groceries.” You said with a shrug. You were over it. It was like, ten bad things ago.

“So you just. Left them out?” Hughie said, seemingly baffled.

“Yeah.”

“Mallory said she delivered them on the first night.” Annie glanced between you and Hughie.

“She did.”

Hughie’s eyes widened further. “That was almost two weeks ago.” When you just nodded in agreement, he pushed further. “They’ve been out the whole time?”

You frowned. “He doesn’t get to win.”

“What are you, five?” 

You just sighed, giving Hughie a pleading look. “Don’t tell MM.”

“What?” Butcher taunted from the back of the group. “That he was right, and you can’t handle Soldier Boy?”

“I thought you were on my side about this.”

“I’m on the side of the truth, Love.”

Both you, Annie, and Frenchie let out huffs of amusement at that claim, with Hughie looking sheepishly amused.

“You can’t possibly believe that.” Annie gave Butcher a pointed look. He only winked in response, leaving her to turn back to you with an eye roll.

“Has it been like this,” Hughie gestured vaguely around him. “The whole time?”

“Nah. Worse.”

Really, hell would be a better word for it. After the knife incident, there had been the toilet paper incident, which you had won, the coffee incident, also your victory, the laundry incident, point Soldier Boy, the TV incident, point you, and the Lord of the Rings incident, another point Soldier Boy. The Elton John, Jimmy Carter, and Rockefeller Center incidents had ended in stalemates akin to the Cold War, but should those fuses reignite, you were sure you could take them home. Overall, you’d burned him seven times, he’d thrown two chairs at you, you tossed shit in his face once and threatened castration on fifteen separate occasions, and he had offered to sleep with you thirty-one times.

“He hasn’t, he hasn’t hurt you. Right?” Hughie wasn’t fully looking at you when he asked, his voice soft and nervous.

“No. I mean, he’s tried. Not in… that way, but I’ve had a few things thrown at me. All the physical violence died out around the laundry incident, though. Now we’re using psychological warfare.”

“Laundry incident?” Hughie said at the same time that Frenchie said, “Psychological warfare?”

“Don’t ask.” Was your response to both. You’d avoid revisiting the laundry incident in your mind for the rest of your life if you could help it, and the actual practice of your warfare was more childish than you’d like to admit.

“Well, as lovely as a reunion this has been, we need to talk to you both. Where’s the cunt,  anyway?" Butcher craned his neck to look down the hall.

“Probably moping around in his room.” You shrugged. “Let’s talk in the living room, standing at the door is weird.”

While the living room hadn’t taken even close to as much damage as the kitchen, it had not escaped you and Soldier Boy’s sparring unscathed. Books provided by the CIA, which were mostly stereotypical classics, had been upended from their shelves and strewn across the floor. The TV was still intact, as was the sofa, but the former was stuck on PBS, and the latter was, at this point, compromised of 70% trash.

“Holy shit,” Hughie muttered as he stepped over a copy of Catcher in the Rye. “You can’t plan on living like this the whole time?”

“Well, if America’s number one man-baby would stop moaning and bitching about his glory days, then maybe, yeah.”

Annie gave you a concerned look. “And if he doesn’t?”

“Then I’ll castrate him.” Though the threat had now been made sixteen times, it never satisfied you less to say it.

“I’ve told you, Sunshine, if you did that, you would only be hurting yourself.”

Everyone in the room fell silent, their eyes trained over you with tense gazes. You turned to find Soldier Boy almost directly behind you. “I’ve told you, by definition, I’d only be hurting you.”

He gave a mocking pout. “Wouldn’t that plague your perfect little conscious?”

“I’d live.”

“Bitch.”

“Cunt.”

“Prude.”

“Manwhore.”

“Whiny Brat.”

“Waste of space.”

“Waste of good pussy.”

“Waste of government money.”

“Waste of Compound V.”

“Pathetic, assfaced Dickwad.”

“Stuck up, pretentious Ice Queen.”

“Geriatric, entitled, blue-balled G.I. Joe Fuckdoll”

The room had practically vanished around you as you and Soldier Boy fell into your now well-tread path of insults. Your blood was burning with that feeling, aching to burst across the room as both of you glared hard enough to, fingers crossed, kill the other.

“Jesus Christ,” Hughie said, breaking you out of your own spell.

“What are they doing here?” Soilder Boy asked, somehow having only just clocked their presence. “Do I finally get to do my job and leave?”

“No,” Annie answered. “We have no way of knowing how long you’ll be here at this point.”

“That’s what I said,” you muttered under your breath, turning back to your team.

“Yeah,” Soldier Boy said at full volume. “And I don’t fucking trust you.”

“Will you get off my ass about it now?”

“I think you like me on your ass, Sunshine. My offer never leaves the table.”

“Cunt.”

“Bitch.”

“Helpless man-child.”

“Prissy tease.”

“Glorified propaganda poster-“

“No,” Annie cut it. “We’re not doing that again.”

“Party pooper,” Butcher grumbled. “I was hoping they’d kill each other this time. Then we could just go home.”

“Well, did you at least bring me drugs?” Soldier Boy seemed to search the room, as if a pile of weed and coke would miraculously appear on the floor amongst the mess of wrappers and fluid-filled paper towels.

“We’re not buying you drugs with government money.” Annie said, giving you a look of apology. “As I’m sure you’ve been told.”

“Many times,” you affirm under your breath. You’d had to hide the glue on day five, which had let to the toilet paper incident on day six. A day had not passed since where you didn’t catch him trying to turn a new household object into something to snort.

“I thought weed was fucking legal now.” Soldier Boy glared at you, as if you were personally responsible for the CIA not buying him blunts. “It’s a free fucking country. I should be able to smoke whenever I damn please.”

“Porn is legal,” you reply. “Doesn’t mean the federal government is going to bring you some.”

“If they brought me porn and weed, I’d be far more open to whatever shit you want from me.” He winked at you.

“We gave you that last time,” Hughie pointed out, shifting nervously. “It barely helped.”

“Will you be a good little supe if we come back with porn and weed? Because we can go and-“

“No, we need to do this now.” Annie spoke over Butcher, and you noticed a line of worry on her forehead, along with Hughie’s nervous fidgeting. Though Butcher didn’t seem plagued by an anxious tell, he relented to Annie faster than you’d ever seen, and alarm bells went off in your head.

“Annie,” you bit the bullet, asking softly. “What is the ‘this’ you need us for?”

She gave you an apologetic look. “Trial run.”

“Trial run?”

“We’re giving you a test, Love.” Butcher said with a smirk. “See if your little experiment is even viable. Maybe take out a player in the process. All depends on if you and him,” he jerked his head to Soldier Boy. “Do your jobs right.”

“I don’t need your little ‘test’ to know if I can do my job.” Soldier Boy snapped.

“Last time you failed,” Hughie muttered.

Frenchie nodded in agreement. “In a spectacular manner, yes.”

“Because that bitch and that pussy stopped me.” An angry scowl was thrown at Annie and Butcher, who returned it and grinned widely back respectively.

“You were going to kill a kid,” Annie said coldly.

“He shouldn’t have been in the line of fire.”

“The line of fire? Do you hear yourself? Do you really care about others so little that-“

“I’d do it again,” he snapped back, unbothered by Annie’s disgust. “You don’t get to ask me for help and get mad when I do.”

You gave Butcher a pointed look. “Aren’t you glad you listened to me?”

Though all you got in response was a grunt from Butcher, Soldier Boy’s eyes shot to you. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

You returned his glare, steeling your own eyes to match his interrogating gaze. “We’re removing the ‘kill a kid’ option from your choices. You want to know why we’re stuck here? Because you fucked it last time, and we won’t let you fuck up again.”

“You won’t let me?” He sneered, leering at you coldly. “You don’t let me do anything, Sunshine.”

If the “Sunshine” thing continued to stick, you might have to throw yourself off a roof. But you didn’t flinch, just tilting your head mockingly. “You wouldn’t need a shock collar if you hadn’t bit the hand.”

“I wouldn’t bite the hand if it hadn’t tried to kill me.”

“Nobody tried to kill you, Mate.” Butcher interjected. Soldier Boy’s anger switched back to him with fists curling at his side, but Butcher kept talking with a bored drawl. “You shouldn’t have bloody fucked up.”

“And, like I said,” you shrugged. “It won’t happen again.”

“If I see the shot, I’ll take it. Whether you like it or not.”

Looking into his eyes, you believed him. No doubt fogged your brain that, given the opportunity, Soldier Boy wouldn’t hesitate to take out Ryan Butcher with Homelander. Part of you, the angry and bitter part still trapped underground, understood that. But you’d see Ryan once, from afar, and he had looked so young. You didn’t have to imagine his fear or touch him to understand what it was like. For your life to change abruptly and without reason, to have to sprint to keep up with your new one. Soldier Boy had volunteered for this life. Ryan hadn’t. You hadn’t.

So, holding Soldier Boy’s gaze, you made your voice clear and steady. “You don’t get to take the shot until it’s clear. Ryan will be out of the picture before you even see Homelander.” You turned to Annie. “What’s the test?”

“Head-popper.” Butcher answered for Annie with an odd look at you. His voice carried the usual light and oddly joyful tone he used when discussing murdering supes, but his eyes on yours were quieter, with less manic vengeance than you’d seen before. If you didn’t know better, you’d call them thankful.

“Head-popper?”

Hughie jumped in at your confused frown. “Neuman.”

“Oh,” you paused, looking over Hughie’s worried face. “We’re going after Neuman?”

“Who the fuck is Neuman?” Soldier Boy asked with a reluctant grumble. You had picked up on his consistent annoyance with new things after you’d found him screaming at the microwave three days ago, and not knowing new people didn’t seem to be any different.

“She’s a supe who can pop people’s heads like balloons.” Frenchie gestured in imitation for effect. “It’s disgusting.”

“And she’s the VP elect, which would put an ally of Homelander in the White House, one step from the Oval Office.” Annie said pointedly, giving Frenchie a look. You offered him a small smile over her head. Though the demonstration hadn’t been helpful, watching his hands fly around mimicking Neuman’s powers was undeniably entertaining.

“She's dangerous,” Hughie added. “But she’s not a bad person. We don’t want to kill her, just remove her powers.”

“What do we need her for then?” You didn’t have to look to know Soldier Boy’s accusation was directed at you. You bit your tongue, trying to ignore the way the words seeped into your skin.

Because he’s right. A cruel whisper said into your ear, and the itch on your skin began to feel like a rash. You were saved from the plague of your thoughts—the urgent feeling to fall prompted by almost nothing—by Butcher.

“If you think you’re going anywhere without her, Governor, you’d better get used to being wrong. She’s there for the same reason she’s here. So you don’t go postal.”

Soldier Boy gave you an unreadable look as the rush of your heart in your chest slowed from Butcher’s words. You turned away from him, but you could almost feel his eyes through your skull as you looked at Butcher with a blank face.

“What’s the plan?” You asked, praying it would be simple, with as few people as possible around and, ideally, in the middle of a desert filled exclusively with fire extinguishers.

“MM and Kimiko are doing recon on one of Bob Singer’s rallies. Frenchie will create a distraction for the secret service, and Neuman’s personal detail is going to suddenly disappear-“

“Disappear?” You interrupted Butcher with raised eyebrows.

“Keep your panties on, they’ve been bribed. Once she’s isolated, Soldier Boy’ll blast her, and we can all go home confident in your little gambit.”

You hesitated, trying to imagine the last political rally you’d seen. Group of people in tight groups, electrical wiring for microphones, speakers, and lights. Gates and closed doors, hallways leading out onto streets. “How are we going to isolate her?”

“Me and Butcher will work on that,” Annie said, almost reaching for you with a reassuring pat, but thinking better and jerking her arm back. She opened her mouth, an apology certainly on her, but you raised your hand to cut her off.

“How long until we leave?” You asked. Maybe they’d say ‘three hours’ and you’d get to talk to someone who didn’t think swing music was sonically viable for a bit.

Hughie checked his watch. “Ten minutes ago.”

“Ago?” Your eyes widened.

He gave you a sheepish look. “We thought it would take less time to get you.” He turned to Soldier Boy. “Your suit’s in the van. I can bring it out-“

“I can change on the way.” Soldier Boy grumbled, ignoring Hughie’s start of sputtering protests. “Let’s get this over with.”

———-

Much to his annoyance, they had forgotten Ben’s shield, and nobody would let him change in the van. He tried several times, only to be met by a chorus of groans, shouting, and swearing. He had listened to their complaints only because she had started giving him a look he recognized as a flag for a storm of uncontrolled fire. No hot disgust or sparks of rage, only a cold and quiet, almost glassy-eyed stare. Her heart steady but her breathing too fucking controlled to be natural, measured so equally that it sounded mechanical. So, because he figured she would only become more bitchy to live with if she incinerated her alleged “friends”, Ben stopped trying to pull his shirt over his head.

Once he did, the van fell insufferably silent. The edged pleasantries and conversation he’d overheard during Butcher and his band of Assholes arrival had ceased save for tense questions and hushed conversations. Ben didn’t fail to notice all the spineless avoidance and careful words directed at them both. She, even after the foggy look faded, remained curled into a corner, trading small and toothless smiles with her team. More timid than he’d seen her before, almost like a scolded child as she looked around the van nervously. Her eyes watched the shadows as though Homelander himself might jump from them, the chew of her lip giving Ben a headache. The only words she spoke were a jab at Ben when he’d said something about political rallies post-election being fucking pathetic—giving him a lecture about American politics now heavily depending on something called “going viral”—only to fall silent once more after. Her team looked at her like a glass bomb, as if she was a delicate statue looming over their heads and not the vulgar, violent woman who slept down the hall from him. That woman infuriated him, testing his patience every time she opened her mouth, but this paranoid, skittish pussy of a girl was so much worse. So when the van halted and Butcher’s team began to filter out, he called her name. When she ignored him, he reached out and grabbed her arm.

“What the fuck!” She pulled herself out of his grip in a second, staring at him with anger. She glanced down at her arms, a look he didn’t understand crossing her face, before returning her attention to him. “Do not touch me.”

“I barely touched you,” he glowered, annoyance quickly flooding him. He had only brushed skin, with a light grip she had thrown off, there was no need to be so dramatic. “When I touch you for real, you’ll fucking know, Sunshine. And you’ll fucking beg for it. I needed to make you listen, you were fucking ignoring me.”

Her brows knit, and he heard the chew of her teeth on her tongue. “I’m not going to beg for anything, and I wasn’t ignoring you.”

“I said your name, and you kept fucking walking.”

“I didn’t hear you.” She snapped, but didn’t relent. “Speak up next time.”

She knew just as well as Ben did that they were both far from quiet, pussy-voiced fuckers. And while he definitely hadn’t yelled for her attention, it shouldn’t have fucking mattered. He’d seen her pick up his grumbled insults and mocking comments just fine over the past two weeks. “Bitch.”

“What do you want?” She asked with a sigh, ignoring his jab and looking at him as if he exhausted her just by breathing. “We have to go, and you still need to change.”

“You shouldn’t let them treat you like that.” He said, not hiding the contempt from his voice. He wasn’t going to skirt around his thoughts, lining them gently to help her fucking feelings.

Her body tensed, her limbs looking as if they’d locked into place. “Like what?” Ben heard her swallow as she answered, her voice not lost enough to make her sound clueless to his words.

“Like you’re a child they have to coddle. A problem they have to deal with.”

She stared at him, her glassy-eyes returning. “Shut up. You don’t know what you’re fucking talking about, cunt-face.”

Ben snorted. “They don’t treat you like the bitch you are. They always use that sweet, pussy voice, like they’re talking to a fucking puppy, when they say something to you. They’re always all fucking pouty when they look at you, pussyfooting around so they don’t make you sad.” He gave her a mocking grin, hoping the next words landed like a bullet. “They treat you like me.”

It had clearly worked, as the van had grown hot, and her eyes were clearing as her heart began to pick up. Ben felt an odd feeling cover him as he heard it, almost familiar and sparking pride in his chest. She wasn’t a jittery shell anymore, she was going to try and kill him. It made his grin grow genuine, and the van grew only more heated, the air waving around them.

Her mouth opened, and Ben hoped whatever came out of it would be vile and crude.

“Hey!” She turned her head and clenched her jaw as someone called her name from outside, the van rattling as a fist banged against it. “We need to go!”

The door opened to reveal the Cocksucker, whose face grew quickly red, a bead of sweat falling from his hairline, as he was blasted with a quickly dying wave of heat.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, turning from Ben as the heat dropped further. “Coming.”

Cocksucker gave her a worried look, his gaze flying quickly to Ben, but just nodded and stood aside for her to move past.

As the door closed and Ben began to change, he listened for their soft, tense words.

“Are you okay? Did he do anything to you?” Cocksucker’s voice was nervous and gentle, like being suffocated by one of those fucking fluffy blankets Ben had seen in the empty bedroom of the safe house.

“No, he just grabbed me to talk. And you don’t have to keep asking me that. I’m fine, and it’s not as helpful as you think it is.” Ben frowned at her voice, the malice from it drained entirely in only a few seconds, replaced with only a tired hollowness.

“Grabbed you?! Like, he touched you?”

Having anticipated Cocksucker being more interested in the “talk” part of her sentence, or the shit that sounded like it was about feelings, Ben's brain rattled over Cocksucker’s word, his tone of panic looping in Ben’s head. He spoke of Ben’s touch as though it were a plague, and not something many people would kill to feel. Ben almost burst out of the van to say just that, but froze when he heard her answer.

“It was fast, I didn’t feel much. Even if I did, it doesn’t matter. I can’t go the rest of my life without touching people.” Her voice had a finality to it, and Ben could almost picture her downturned lips and wrinkled brow.

“You touch us when you heal us.” Even Cocksucker’s voice didn’t sound sure of his response.

“It’s not the same, and you know that.”

There was a momentary stall in their words, and Ben took the opportunity to emerge, securing his belt as he walked to the door. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected to see, but Cocksucker looking pathetically around, anywhere but the woman as she curved into herself, wasn’t it. She held a white-knuckle grip on the sleeves of her jacket, her thumb running up and down in small movements. They both turned to him as the door banged open, and Ben caught the empty look behind her eyes before her indifference slipped back into place.

“Did you hurry me just to sit around like pussies, or are we going to start fucking moving?” He asked, the air feeling too uncomfortable to sit in.

Cocksucker blinked, glancing at his watch. “We have a few minutes until they arrive, but I guess it can’t hurt to be vigilant-“

“Arrive?” The woman’s eyes widened, and Ben saw smoke curl from her hold on her jacket. “They’re coming here?”

Cocksucker nodded. “It’s a high-security escape exit-“

“It’s a fucking street, Hughie.”

“That’s used as a high-security escape exit.” After a moment of searching the area, Cocksucker pointed a few yards down, at a large door set against brick. “Neuman will come right out of there, and her guards will close her out here, where Soldier Boy will blast her.” He paused, glancing at Ben, before looking back at the door and taking small, cowardly steps away from his spot between them.

“It’s a public area, anyone could walk past! What the fuck were you thinking?!” Her voice was hushed and agitated, and Ben had never seen her face lose color at that speed before, had never heard her heart stutter and jump as if trying to escape her body.

“It’ll be fine,” Cocksucker’s voice wavered, giving them both a nervous look. “It should be fine. MM said it would be fine.”

“You heard him, Sunshine,” Ben gave her a wink, adding a half-cocked smile when she didn’t even return him with a dirty look. “MM said it would be fine. And have some fucking faith in me, I’m not a fucking monster. I won’t blast any running pussies except for this head-popper broad.”

“You don’t even know what she looks like.” Her tone wasn’t quite the vicious mockery he was used to, but it was better than the apathetic, empty voice she’d been using. She was rolling on the balls of her feet, speaking without looking at him, her eyes moving restlessly from the door to the end of the street. “And I don’t believe you.”

Ben just shrugged, allowing the silence to hang. The wind was picking up, whistling through the chill of winter air, making the heat around them, emitting from both Ben and the woman, all the more obvious. Despite the biting cold, Cocksucker had taken off his stupid puffy jacket, even stepping back further from where they stood, with Ben in the center of the street and the woman off to the left. Despite her slowly stepping further and further back, her back now almost against the wall, Ben could feel her watching him, hear her heart continue its new and erratic beat.

“How long now, Hughie?” Her voice was raised to carry over the wind, though it hadn’t lost that stupid fucking weakness. Cocksucker, thank fuck, didn’t get a chance to respond with pathetically comforting words, as only one skipping heartbeat after she spoke a shrill fire alarm sounded.

“I’m assuming that’s your stupid French fuck's plan?” Ben asked dryly. “Start a fucking fire? I thought you pussies were all about minimal damage.”

“He probably just pulled the alarm.” The Cocksucker’s answer lacked any confident assurance. “And I think we’re just against needless murder.”

Ben almost started to rant about their so-called needless murder being a mighty high horse for a group of people who had manipulated him just as much as Vought, who’d been willing to help him kill all those backstabbing pussies from Payback so he’d help them. About how their stupid fucking moral purity complex seemed to adjust perfectly to aid them, and maybe he wasn’t a fucking angel, but he was strong and powerful—something they fucking needed—man, and he wasn’t a pussyfaced liar about what he was, what he did. The words died on his tongue, though, as hundreds of frenzied footsteps reached his ears.

“Fuck!” he growled, turning around and pointing at Cocksucker. “You fucking pussy.”

Cocksucker gave him an idiotically confused stare. “Dude, uncalled for.”

“She,” Ben pointed to the woman, whose heart was beating impossibly fast and looking on with a bloodless face. “Was fucking right. This is a stupid plan, because unless your head-popper walks like a human centipede, it’s not going to be just her that I fucking hit when that door opens.”

Cocksucker only gaped at him like a fish as the footsteps grew louder, annoyingly unsure stutters  escaping him, and just as Ben decided it might be good to slap the idiot out of his daze, the woman stepped forward.

“We need to move, Hughie. Now.” Her voice wasn’t steady, her whole body was tensed and hyper, but it held a determination Ben almost admired. “We can’t be here.”

“He- he could be fucking lying, or wrong-“

“That’s not a risk we can afford to take.” She cut off Cocksucker’s doubts, and Ben found himself surprised at her defense of him, even if it could barely be called that. Her hands were smoking once more, but she had firmly planted herself in the middle of the road, eyes turning sharply to Ben. “If people see you, any element of surprise over Homelander would be lost. We need to fucking move, you need to get in the fucking van now-“

The door banged open, and the streets flooded as hoards of people in star and stripe-themed outfits flooded the road. Everything became so loud, and that rapt, snapping sound in Ben’s head started to spread through him, spurring the drum in his chest. They were finding rhythm so fast, everything fading as Ben tried to slow it. But there were screams and shouts, and everything was getting further and further away from him while carving into him all the same, so though Ben could hear the sounds of metal clanging and shouts of his supe name, he couldn’t think anything past the beat beat beat, until he lost it all at once.

As his vision grew clear with his head, Ben expected to see shattered bodies and bloody walls. Instead, all he saw was the woman and fire. Her face was flushed red, her eyes crazed, and her clothes had become charred with holes as the fire surged from her into a barrier, cutting them off from the crowd. Cocksucker was yelling her name, urging them both to return to the van and leave, but as Ben moved, he glanced back to see the woman frozen and heard her heart as if it were his own. The wall was growing wider and shooting high, Cocksucker wouldn’t shut the fuck up about moving, but her eyes had squeezed shut, unresponsive to anything but the growing flames.

“We need to fucking go, now!” Ben turned to see a large man he vaguely recognized barreling down their side of the street, his face twisted in anger. Butcher, Starlight, a small woman he remembered fighting, and that French prick followed him, all loading into the van as the large man stopped beside Cocksucker.

“I told you he’d fucking blow it,” the man said, giving Ben a disgusted look, so flawlessly revolted Ben wouldn’t be surprised if he’d fucking practiced in the mirror.

“Hey, I didn’t fucking blow it, you pussy-“

“You said that Neuman would come out of here, that it would just be her!” Cocksucker, much to Ben’s shock, cut him with a high voice and a wave at the wall of fire. “That’s way more than just her! Is she even there?!”

“No,” the man said gruffly. “Neuman saw Butcher and figured out something was up. She’s long gone.”

“Fuck!” Cocksucker yelled, running a hand through his hair.

“Oi, we can go over how MM fucked up later,” Butcher leaned out from the van. “We need to go before she sends Homelander.”

“How I fucked up? You’re the one who disobeyed me and blew our cover-“

“What’s wrong with Madame Anomaly?” The French Prick appeared at Butcher's side.

Cocksucker glanced at the woman, calling her name before turning to the large man Butcher had called MM. “She absorbed Soldier Boy’s blast. I think it got her stuck.”

“We don’t have time for this. Get Soldier Boy in the van, I’ll take care of the Anomaly.” MM repeated the French Prick’s words, and Ben realized they were, for the first time, using the woman’s supe name.

“You heard him, Gov. Get in the bloody van.” Butcher’s words were clearly directed at Ben, but as he climbed into the van Ben saw Butcher’s attention locked on the woman.

MM had moved closer to the woman, a move Ben deemed more fucking stupid than brave. If she had “absorbed his blast,” as Cocksucker said, he wouldn’t recommend any non-supe be anywhere near her. MM seemed to realize this himself at the last possible second, taking a pathetic, stumbling step back with a pause. He and Cocksucker exchanged a look, something passing between them that Ben didn’t understand, before Cocksucker leaned down to grab a pebble from the road. Ben watched as he shakily shook out his arms, wound up, and tossed the pebble at the woman.

It was a terrible fucking idea, Ben didn’t have to be Einstein to know that, but the chain reaction that played out still managed to go worse than he might have guessed.

The woman whirled around, her eyes blazing, with a roar sounding from her chest. Fire shot from the wall directly at Cocksucker. In almost slow motion, Ben watched her face become painted with horror as she recognized her target, a different, fearful sound leaving her. She reached an arm out, her heart seeming to falter, and barely redirected the flames before they hit Cocksucker in the chest. The blaze just grazed Cocksucker’s arm, passed the van clear of anyone else, and hit the building with a boom.

The moment the bricks caught fire and the ground began to shake as the building crumbled, the woman's wall of fire fell. The woman herself remained upright, but only barely as MM shouted her name and she started to stumble to the van. Cocksucker was hauled in by Starlight and the French Prick, the former fussing over his burnt arm—Ben had seen worse at Herogasm and nobody whined about it—and Cocksucker waved her off. The woman pulled herself in, ignoring Butcher’s outstretched hand, and the door closed behind her. MM appeared in the driver’s seat, and as the engine started everyone fell into a heavy-breathed silence.

Through the ride, Ben watched the woman open and close her mouth a million times, returned to her fetal position in the corner but watching Cocksucker with a strained face. Her hands tapped against her still-smoking jacket, reaching out hesitantly before she pulled them back into herself. No words were spoken, not even the anxious whispers of the ride there. Ben felt relief as the van stopped, MM climbing out and opening the doors to reveal the exterior of the safe house, grateful for any excuse to leave these stupid, sniffing pussies to wallow in their failure.

MM led Ben and the woman to the doors, opened them by leaning oddly at the doorbell, and gestured for them to walk through. The man followed them in, shutting the doors behind him with a rough push.

“If we failed the test, I am not doing that fucking shit again.” Ben grumbled as MM turned around from the now-shut entrance.

“Butcher told me about the fucking mess you and him made in here.” MM ignored Ben entirely, speaking to the woman as if he wasn’t even there. “A team cleaned it up while you were gone, and Mallory will send more groceries tomorrow night. I saw a picture, it was fucking gross. I’m only doing it once, because I don’t want a new disease to develop in here. You’re an adult, you should take care of this place by your goddamn self.”

The woman looked at her feet, humming a small acknowledgment. She didn’t look up as she spoke. “Is Hughie going to be okay?”

MM sighed. “The kid will live. I’ll look at him when we get back.”

“I could help-“

MM cut her off with her name. “He’ll be fine. We’ll make sure of it.”

She gave another nervous hum, and Ben jumped in.

“Can you answer my fucking question-“

“We’ll let you know what our next steps are after we talk to Mallory and Singer. This wasn’t good, but it’s not the end of the damn world.” Once again, MM ignored Ben. It was starting to feel personal. Before Ben could push further, MM reached a hand out to rest on the woman’s shoulder, right over a hole in her sleeve. Her head shot up with her heart, but the panic in her seemed to evaporate just as soon as it appeared. Her name was gentle as MM spoke it, eyes locked with hers. “You didn’t fuck up. You did your job.” She nodded slowly. “It’ll be fine.” With those last words, he exited the building, leaving Ben and the woman in the hall.

“What’s his fucking problem?” Ben grunted, half directed at the woman, half to just say it.

She gave him a flat look. “You killed his family.” Before he could come up with a clever response, honest or dodging the annoying feeling of guilt forming in his throat, the woman turned from him and walked away.

———-

You were so tired. Your bones ached, oddly cold in a way you hadn’t felt in a while, your skin crawled with feverish chills, and when you closed your eyes, you could see the flames graze Hughie and the building turn to dust. As MM’s lingering calm he’d offered you faded, all you felt was tired. Worthless. A liability. You had fucked up, just as much as Soldier Boy. Maybe more so, because he had PTSD, even if he would deny being a “hung-up pussy”. He had lost control because he’d been tortured by Russians, you’d almost killed your friend and definitely destroyed a rec center because you’d been startled. You just wanted to sleep, to deal with the inevitable fight about groceries in the morning, running on more than quickly expiring adrenaline and caffeine pills stuck in your throat.

You made it to your room, changing into one of the pajama sets folded in your drawers, hoping someone mentioned that the allegedly fire-proof wardrobe you’d been given apparently wasn’t strong enough for the full force of your fire combined with Soldier Boy’s nuclear explosions. A shame, you’d liked the pants you’d chosen for the mission. You’d live without the jacket, though. You’d hardly pulled the shirt over your head when the door ripped open, a still suit-clad Soldier Boy standing at your door.

“What fucking happened to you?” His question was blunt and confusing as he entered your room, remaining near the door but over the threshold.

Your body was too heavy to fight with him right now. There was no tense prickling on the bridge of your nose, only the throbbing stab of a headache. “Go away, Soldier Boy.”

“All of you have a fucking thing. A weird, sad reason to whine around and pretend you’re better than me.” He didn’t budge, but rather leaned forward. “What’s yours.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You said I killed MM’s family. Butcher’s always pussying around about Homelander stealing his girl. Cocksucker mentioned something about that fast asshole doing something as well. I’m not sure what the French Prick bitches about, but I’m sure it’s something.”

“First of all, you did kill MM’s family.” You really don’t want to do this right now, but maybe he’ll give up and fuck off. A fruitless wish, a small part of you knows, but you have nothing left to push back with. “And Homelander didn’t ‘steal Butcher’s wife’, he raped her.”

“Right.” Soldier Boy watched you, his expression unreadable in the shadowy room. “Those are all fucking things. So tell me what yours is.”

“I don’t have one,” even as you speak the insistence, it sounded fake and hollow.

He takes another step forward. “Yes, you do. I saw how you froze, nobody without a thing locks up like that. I heard Cocksucker ask you if I ‘hurt you’. Just for the record, Sunshine, I may not be a Boy Scout, but I’m no fucking rapist.”

“You’ve tried to sleep with me thirty-three times.”

“And I’ll blow your mind when you realize how much you’d love it, no sooner. What’s your fucking thing.”

You stare at him, the intensity in his voice throwing you off. He’s insistent, comfortable in your room but standing at his full height, attention fixed entirely on you. That impression of dissection has returned—the feeling as if he’s trying to pick you apart for him to play with. “Why do you even care?”

“Because maybe if you tell me, I can kill what supe fucked up your pretty little head and you’ll be less of a bitch.”

You can’t stop the snort that escapes you. “What a selfish fucking cunt reason.”

He shrugged in something that could’ve been an agreement. “Maybe.” He falls silent, but doesn't leave.

You collapse to sit on the edge of your bed, staring ahead as you rub your temple. “Please just go.”

“No.”

You look at him, not caring if he sees the desperation in your eyes. “Can this not wait six hours for the morning?”

“No.”

“Do you know any words but no?” You mutter under your breath.

You didn’t miss his annoyed humph. “Oh, just fucking tell me.”

“No.” It was your turn to snap. Your exhaustion was becoming lined with bitter childishness, and you didn’t care enough to try and suppress your urge to sneer at him.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re an idiotic, self-absorbed, sadist asshat who wouldn’t know empathy if it started sucking his dick.” You mocked.

He grinned. “Ok, now name my bad qualities.”

“I’m not telling you.”

“I’ll start guessing,” he took another step forward, now almost directly before you. “Did that red-headed lesbian steal your puppy?

You frowned up at him. “Maeve was bisexual.”

“Did Noir take credit for a college project?” He ignored your comment, leaning down with a mocking smirk.

“Trust me, I got all my dues in college.”

“Did that gay-for-Jesus blond steal your boyfriend? Did the fast asshole that stole Cocksucker’s girl break up with you? Did water-boy eat your goldfish?”

“I’ve never met Ezekiel, A-Train actually murdered Hughie’s girlfriend, and The Deep famously doesn’t eat seafood, he fucks it. But by all means, keep going.”

Soldier Boy blinked. “He fucks it?”

“Yep. It’s gross.” You shrug. “Are you done?”

“Are you going to answer my question?”

You give a toothless smile. “Not until you get all your guesses out.”

“Oh?” There was unquestionable surprise in his voice at your relent, only making your fake cheer grow and your immature anger fully overtake you.

“I want you to feel like a real fucking asshole when I tell you.”

His face split open with a grin. “Well then, did the Twins kick you out of Herogasm? Did that bitch, Crimson Countess, overshadow your big debut? Did a Z-lister get more attention than you from the Vought pussies?”

You just raised your eyebrows, crossing your arms as Soldier Boy continued until the list of supes ran dry. As the last jeer left his mouth, he mirrored your face of cold amusement.

“Well?”

You leaned back, watching him closely as you spoke. “Homelander kidnapped me, kept me in a dungeon, raped me in an attempt to make more mini-Homelanders, and, after you returned, started experimenting on me to try and recreate the V used on you.”

A small shock rushed through you after you spoke. You hadn’t said any of that out loud, not fully, since you’d escaped. You danced around it with Butcher and his team, with Mallory and the CIA leaders, always picking and choosing parts to omit so nobody would look at you with pity and fear. It hadn’t worked, they did anyway, but there had still been control over it. Up until this moment, nobody had known why Homelander had done all those things to you. Everyone had seemed happy to chalk it up to him being a fucking psychopath, not anything deeper. Certainly not attempting to create a small army of additional Ryan Butchers. Small things were still yours, flashes of hunger and warped sounds remaining in your head, but everything else you had just told him.

Why did you do that? A voice hissed as the high from your petulance faded. Why did you let him win? Why did you give him a weapon to use that could hurt you?

But looking at him, he didn’t appear to be a portait of self-satisfaction and heartless triumph. He was staring at you, scanning you as though the scars Homelander left would be visible on your bare legs and arms. When he spoke, his voice wasn’t weak or coddling, but angry.

“He kept you locked up?”

You nod, part of you getting ready to fight him over something.

“He hurt you? To try and recreate me?” Your repeated nodding only seemed to inflate whatever was happening. “Did it hurt?”

Your arms and face started at that, an uncertain feeling spreading through you. There had been no reverent tone as Soldier Boy had asked the last question, no sadistic for affirmation. But you didn’t know what he wanted to hear. Why he even wanted to know. But an involuntarily honest answer escaped you. “Yes.”

He stared at you for another second before he opened his mouth, only to close it without making any sound. Abruptly, he whipped around and began to leave, giving you only one more indecipherable look as he closed the door behind him, leaving you on the edge of your bed, alone in your room.

You lay down slowly, half expecting him to storm back in at any moment, but minutes passed, quickly turning into a half hour, and your body sat at the edge of collapse once more. Soon it was unbearable, and you lay down, your racing mind being forced to a halt as sleep pulled you under.

Your sleep, as had been the case for a while now, was haunted by nightmares of blue eyes and yellow, fluorescent lights. You woke up in a cold sweat, and took a long, needlessly warm shower before forcing yourself to leave your room around 9:30. Despite your lingering fatigue, no part of you wasn’t restless as you walked down the stairs. Your body tense and ready to run, your head spinning with hypotheticals and lining up words you may need—that feeling under your skin creeping up your spine and fluttering in your gut. But Soldier Boy wasn’t in the living room or the hall. You poked your head in the dining room, hoping to avoid the minefield of the kitchen, but it was empty, the plastic chandelier lights off, the table occupied only by a vase of wilted flowers. You moved to the kitchen, ringing growing in your ears, but he wasn’t there. You turned to walk away, continue your search, but double-back as it hit you.

Nothing was in the kitchen. It was empty. Of Soldier Boy, and of the groceries MM said would be delivered.

You wandered in slowly, watching the counters as if they might start to glitch and flicker, revealing hidden produce and dirty dishes. But, leaning over the sink, there was a single plate, soaking in water that was dotted with crumbs. Slowly, you moved to the refrigerator, slowly opening it as you glanced around the room. Your eyes widened at the sight inside. Milk, drinks, and produce had been placed inside, disorganized and haphazardly. There was a jar of mayonnaise in the fresh drawer, along with a box of pasta on a side shelf, but the fridge was full. You moved quickly to the pantry, which had been sorted in a similar fashion, but filled. And when you opened the last cabinet, you saw a piece of paper stuck under a jar of peanut butter.

I know I did a shit job. Clean up if it bothers you, but don't bitch to me about it. And tell Mallory to get smooth peanut butter next time, or I’m not doing anything for her but killing Homelander - Ben

[jestroer]

What I love about Jimmy being out first every single time Is that it's not even that he is so bad at the game, he is just so fucking unlucky at all times. Like, the best example I can give is Last Life, where he spawned with two lives, which is in itself very unlucky, didn't gain any and still he died seconds before Mumbo who spawned with 4 and in the same ep as the others who had more lives than him. Like, he barely ever died in some epic battle where his PvP skills just weren't good enough, it's always some shit like falling from somewhere, traps not meant for him, accidently looking at an enderman. It's always a chance he dies first and the chance somehow is always against Jimmy. Like I know we love calling Jimmy bad at the game but for me it's much more interesting that his skills are genuinely not the main reason he dies first. Bad luck omen as well as death omen he's not fucking beating those allegations boys

[3lsmp]

"The canary curse and why I absolutely hate it" - an in depth tumblr post by celebi 3lsmp (in a state of covid sickbrain) (with assistance from my friend fern)

Hi. as many of you know, i fucking hate the canary curse Jimmy headcanon. It sucks. I hate it here. but have you ever wondered WHY? Celebi, WHY do you hate jimmy solidarity canary curse headcanon. WELL LET ME TELL YOU !!

In general I try not to be a hater, fandom spaces generally hate unpopular opinions so I keep my mouth shut but Ive decided today I have the audacity to argue my case. You may think I'm being a nit-picker with this but. hear me out.

For starters, IN MY OPINION, a lot of the fandom has forgotten what the real story of the canary in the coalmine is. Canarys were used in coalmines in the 1900s to aid coal miners in recognising when harmful gasses were within the cave and when the canary would collapse and die they would exit the cave to safety. While yes, Jimmy does run out of lives (permadie) first in 4/5 seasons of the life series, he doesnt actually die first. He permadies first in 3rd life, but doesnt lose the first life! This honour goes to scar with the grian creeper prank. In last life, the first life lost is Grian! in Double life it's . technically Tango. In Limited life it's Skizz, in secret life it's Martyn. So would their deaths not be considered omens of death also?

Secondly, Jimmy's permadeaths are often considered "omens of the end" or "omens of future tragedy" which, have you watched the series? have you watched the seasons? were they not tragic from the start? This idea almost implies that the life series isnt tragic until Jimmy dies? Which I do not like. Jimmy has plenty of tragic moments to his own character before his death.

This brings me onto the fandom's "woobification" of jimmy. If you take nothing away from this post other than this I will be happy, because people need to be more aware of the fact that he is completely being infantalized. Jimmy is an adult man. AN ADULT MAN. He does not need to be saved from the big bad curse of death or the "coal mine" or anything. Just because he sucks at minecraft does not make him a sweet little baby bird that needs to saved. You wouldn't treat Bigb, or Ren or Martyn like a wet kitten in a cardboard box because they die a lot. Shockingly, other people suck at minecraft in this series too. Have you seen Joels traps? is he the canary of the tnt minecart? are we gonna make him a sweet little baby bird too? No, we aren't. Jimmy is an adult man with balls. treat him like one.

Lastly, creating this headcanon which entirely around Jimmy's death, to me, erases the importance of the things he did when he was alive within the series. Would the Flower Husbands have gone to war against dogwarts if Jimmy hadn't burned the dogwarts flag in front of Ren & Martyn? Would The southlands have ended the same if Jimmy hadn't robbed the life from the lifeswapping ritual? Jimmy has more impact in his story than his deaths. He is not a character who dies off to further 3L! Scott's arc, he is not the silly background comedy of the southlands and he is more than just a death curse.

TLDR : use your brain and be more creative and please for the love of god free me from canary jimmy.

also im sick of everyone being birds. where is the flavour. where is the variety.

[raticalshoez]

Heavily based on this post! Please check it out cause it's such a cool analysis of the Canary Curse type stuff!

In this post, op points out how Jimmy's canary stuff still lingers, just in a different form, but the thing that really stood out to me is how his allies seemed to always be doomed to die faster upon being allied with him. I remember thinking, huh, this reminds me a lot of someone else.

Then it clicked that that someone else (or multiple someones) was Grian, and Pearl. I've seen both associated with losing their closest allies, and given that these three are heavily headcanoned to be siblings, I thought it was so interesting.

We all know Grian's curse, which my favorite way of referring to is the Icarus Curse. His closest ally in his alliance tends to meet an untimely demise that is often (unintentionally) by his own hand. Those allies are Icarus, and he is the sun he burns their wings and causes them to fall. He got his curse first, all the way back in 3rd Life.

I'm wary to refer to Pearl's as a curse as opposed to an unfortunate pattern given that it hasn't been around for nearly as long, but I think Pearl's started in Double Life when she won. Ever since then, Pearl's been trying to make sure anyone in her alliance wins, as long as it's not her. Yet she tends to always outlive said allies, and she's always distraught about it. With limited research, I have learned that the moon is associated with not only being a guide and aprotecter, but is also connected with the concept of death. I don't think I would call Pearl's "curse" the Moon Curse cause it sounds a bit silly to me, but the description of a guide and protector failing to guide and protect the ones she wants to is just so bitter to me. It also doesn't help that she was seen as a bad omen in Double Life already, adding more salt to the wound.

Now, I don't wanna say Jimmy's the last one to develop this dooming others trait because as the other post states, Jimmy's been dooming his allies to die earlier ever since 3rd Life, but I think the full extent of his curse has only ever been fully realized in Secret Life and honestly, Real Life too because in my heart that season is real (pun not intended lol). People would always think that Jimmy's curse would doom him specifically, a curse that would cause death to catch him first, but of course a canary in a coal mine doesn't have to stay there. Again, the post linked goes into detail about Jimmy's side of things, but when I read it, I came to a realization that all the Skyblings are really just connected with the concept of death.

[moonshynecybin]

So I am rewatching Argentina 2018 just for giggles, also because you posted about it recently.

And. Wow. Yeah. All the bad omen sirens flashing right from the comical start delay. Committing grid crimes as if the world and officials cant see.

Commentators going - Marc is gonna be angry, marc needs to be careful (when Marc hadn't even started his black widow strut), marc just needs to be patient. Immediately followed by Marc shoving Aleix off. Getting penalized and having to give back a position. But he was in the middle of creating havoc among 5 riders and dint know which position he had to give back. Like. Imagine. Having to apologise for slaying someone but you slayed so bad you don't know which one you need to apologise to. I don't know if I am embarrassed for Marc or the riders. Marc with the kill bill siren in his head just bullying his way up.

The commentators just alternating between "marc needs to calm down" & "this is bloody carnage". It's so funny because the commentators are actually rooting for Marc, "Marc just needs to be careful and keep the pace, he can easily get 5 if he keeps it clean". Marc just hitting fastest lap times at p13.

"these are just sitting ducks in from of Marc"

"marc moving past them as if they were standing still"

Marc just bearing down the grid like the spectre of riders worst grid nightmares. Vale just minding his biz, having himself a race. Here comes a raging scrappy ant.

I unfortunately stayed on to watch the end, witnessed Uccio shooing away Marc, broke my heart a bit

Argentina was just a no good, sad, bad day for Marc.

Was it Marc's fault, yes. Does every rider have such a day, yes. Is it an excuse, no.

But it reminds me of when Enea caused that incident and Marc was the only one who said, it happened, it's fine, he will learn from it. The grace to understand. But maybe he is harsher when it's himself impacted.

Has anyone committed race crimes against Marc? Cant quite recall how he reacts. Has he called anyone a danger to the sport or something equally harsh? Or has he always been the messiest queen on the grid.

people commit on track crimes against marc and he turns into jimmy buffet. hes suddenly chilled out on a beach in a loose linen shirt with his perfectly smooth legs tanning in the sun he is CHILL. brewski in HAND ugly sunglasses ON. like i think marc is ACUTELYYY aware that he would be a hypocrite to go after people for on track crimes so he defaults HARD to the "this is racing" doctrine. it protects him to be this way! a political stance. like for instance jorge martin ends marc's last race with honda by doing extremely stupid shit and he SWAPS HELMETS WITH HIM right after. like he knowssss how he is on track, he doesnt pretend. and also i think thats just kind of how he's built! able to understand that on-track is on-track and thats that.... which is kind of crazy, because he has so much empathy for when people commit on track crimes against him (he KNOWS he would do the same) but not when they get mad at him for doing track crimes unto THEM. i think its a mix of self protection and also just being very very crazy <3

[arcane-vagabond]

Sailor-Aviator's Playlist Writing Challenge

Hello, hello!! Welcome back to another writing challenge! This one also had a lot of votes in the poll I posted, so I figured why not go ahead and release it?

The Concept

I have what some might call an eclectic music taste. What does that mean? I like a bit of just about everything! So, I compiled a list of songs from my playlists that I thought might make good fanfic inspiration! As with my Christmas Challenge, there will be a limited number of spots for each song! Just send me a DM/ask telling me which song you'd like to choose and for which Top Gun character you'd like to write for!

The Rules

You may sign up for more than one slot as long as there are slots available. However, you can not take up two slots for the same song.

Tag your fics appropriately! (Angst, smut, fluff, warnings, etc.)

18+ ONLY!

This can be a series, a one-shot, moodboards, or even a collection of drabbles! Just have fun with it!

You MUST use your song in some way in the fic. For example, if your song is Two Doors Down by Dolly Parton, then you could write about going to a party or about being a Dagger's neighbor.

HAVE FUN!!!

This writing challenge will not have a time limit, and you can sign up whenever you want! When you are finished (or started the series/collection), you can shoot me the link so I can tag it below. Also, please tag me in the fic and tag the challenge! The more the merrier! Now, there are some popular artists on here, but I encourage EVERYONE to listen to ALL the songs before making your decisions!! I will add more songs if I need to as well!

Tagging a couple of mutuals who I think would be interested: @goldenseresinretriever @bobgasm @mamachasesmayhem @hangmansgbaby @jupitercomet @seresinhangmanjake @number-0-iz

The Playlist

Songs below the cut!

Two Doors Down by Dolly Parton

@aworldinsideaperson w/ Jake Seresin

@alegendoftomorrow w/ the Dagger Squad

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Ends of the Earth by Lord Huron

alegendoftomorrow w/ Bradley Bradshaw

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Work Song by Hozier

@devil-angel-winchester w/ Bradley Bradshaw

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Darling by Halsey

@goldenseresinretriever w/ Tom Kazansky

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The Death of Peace of Mind by Bad Omens

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Stolen by Dashboard Confessional

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Youth by Troye Sivan

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Get on the Road by Tired Pony

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Littlething by Jimmy Eat World

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The Saltwater Room by Owl City

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Enchanted by Taylor Swift

@shinycupcakebaker w/ Bob Floyd

@seresinsbrat w/ Bradley Bradshaw

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Georgia by Vance Joy

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I'll Be by Edwin McCain

@powellssugarbaby w/ Jake Seresin

@sweetwhispersofchaos w/ Bob Floyd

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Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar

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New Religion by The Heydaze

@aworldinsideaperson w/ Bradley Bradshaw

alegendoftomorrow w/ Jake Seresin

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She Burns by Foy Vance

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Shrike by Hozier

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Dancing With the Devil by Short Stack

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Like Real People Do by Hozier

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Shut Up and Dance by WALK THE MOON

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Bright by Echosmith

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Someone to You by BANNERS

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WILD by Troye Sivan

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Stay With Me by ayokay

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Iris by Jada Forcer

goldenseresinretriever w/ Tom Kazansky

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Sunshine by Short Stack

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Tell Her You Love Her by Echosmith

aworldinsideaperson w/ Bradley Bradshaw

alegendoftomorrow w/ Bob Floyd

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Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac

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Too Late to Turn Back Now by Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose

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Leather and Lace by Stevie Nicks

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Mine by Taylor Swift

@bellaireland1981 w/ Bradley Bradshaw

alegendoftomorrow w/ Bradley Bradshaw

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Landslide by Fleetwood Mac

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Burn You Down by Short Stack

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Jolene by Dolly Parton

@dingochef w/ Jake Seresin

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Pretty Carolina by Jontha Links

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Sleep on the Floor by The Lumineers

aworldinsideaperson w/ Bob Floyd

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Style by Taylor Swift

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Out of the Woods by Taylor Swift

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You and Me by Lifehouse

@bobgasm w/ Bob Floyd

seresinsbrat w/ Jake Seresin

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Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac

aworldinsideaperson w/ (TBD)

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[celestialcrowley]

Good morning! Good whatever-time-this-post-finds-you!

My phone updated. Thanks, I hate it. Anyway, I had a bio pinned, but I took it down because I wanted my 6,000 years meta to be pinned. I’m currently on the side of procrastination — I should be working on my GO fiction, someone shout at me to write — so here is a little bit more in depth bio about the ghost behind this tumblr.

🥂🪽🐝

Real Name: Sarah.

Nickname(s): There’s a list. Caps, Ghost, Khas, Khasper, Khasper the Spicy Ghost, Pippin, Haands, Crowley, Ginger and Tapeworm.

Nickname Origin(s): Buckle up. Caps is an age old nickname that was given to me because I wear hats all the time. Ghost began with a chat group I used to be in eons ago. The different variants of Khasper were given to me at my very first job, but we collectively agreed to change things up a bit, and Khasper the Spicy Ghost was born. Pippin was given to me when the Lord of the Rings trilogy was first released. Haands was given to me by former coworkers. Their reasoning behind that is I’ve got big hands. Crowley was given to me by my work bestie, and Ginger was given to me by the rest of my coworkers for my only slightly red hair. Or maybe it’s for my fiery personality. Tapeworm is something my uncle calls me presumably because I’m always hungry, but isn’t that the nature of an actual hobbit?

Preferred Name(s): Ghost, Khasper, Crowley, Ginger or Pippin.

Ao3: Beyond_Ineffable.

Social Media(s): I have Facebook and TikTok. My TikTok is actuallyahobbit89 if anyone is curious. I’m hardly on it though. I’ll pop in to post a video and then disappear like a ghost.

State: Born in raised in Floriduha. It’s a state of chaos.

Birthdate: July 25.

Pet(s): I’ve got two dogs. Mycroft is a probably Dutch shepherd Australian cattle dog mix. I’ve never had him DNA tested, but his mother is an Australian cattle dog. Patch is a portly pitbull mix.

Hobbies: Writing, reading, listening to music and true crime podcasts and stand up paddle boarding.

Personality: Here’s the best way I can describe this. I’m a permanently exhausted pigeon who functions on caffeine, anxiety and not enough sleep. I’m shy and socially awkward, but once I’m comfortable with someone and know that I can completely be myself around them, the anxiety disappears.

Favorite Holiday(s): Big spooky fan, me.

Favorite Drink(s): Coffee, Ice sparkling water + caffeine, London fog tea and cranberry juice.

Favorite Food(s): Sushi, tacos, salmon, crepes, lasagna, sweet potatoes and chicken teriyaki.

Favorite Dessert(s): Pumpkin pie.

Favorite Color(s): Turquoise, but any shade of blue, really. It’s pretty.

Favorite Quote(s): “She walks in starlight in another world.” “The world is not in your books and maps. It’s out there.” “Why do we fall, sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.” “A witch ought never to be frightened in the darkest forest because she should be sure that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.” “I know of witches who whistle at different pitches, calling things that don’t have names.”

Favorite Book(s): The Inheritance Collection and Neverwhere, which I still need to finish reading.

Favorite TV Show(s): Good Omens, Sherlock, Lucifer, The Exorcist and Hannibal.

Favorite Movie(s): Bad Samaritan, The Hobbit trilogy, The Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Legend of Sleepy Hollow.

Favorite Character(s): Crowley, Aziraphale, Furfur, Hastur, Pippin, Bilbo Baggins, Sherlock, John Watson, Father Marcus and Will Graham.

Favorite Actor(s): David Tennant, Michael Sheen, Martin Freeman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Jason Statham, Keanu Reeves and Mads Mikkelsen. It’s an accent thing and a hair thing.

Favorite Song(s): There’s too many. I’ll just drop this here. Whiplash Radio.

Favorite Music Genre(s): Mostly everything under the sun.

Favorite Podcast(s): Small Town Murder.

Have You Ever Met A Celebrity: Yes. Jimmie Johnson, a NASCAR driver, visited the very first job I had. He brought his daughter. Story time! My former coworkers were being a bit too extra around him — personal space, what personal space? — and he didn’t like it. I had not yet had a chance to speak to him, and I was told not to because he’s rude. I didn’t believe that, so later, I saw Jimmie was standing at the fence with his daughter. I walked over, said hello and asked him if his daughter would like to pet the dog. He said yes, so I moved the dog closer so she could pet him through the fence. She did, he thanked me, and that was our interaction. He was very pleasant.

Have You Ever Been To A Concert: I have not, unfortunately.

Do You Collect Anything: Yes. Coffee cups, gnomes and pocket knives. That’s a weird combination.

Do You Have Any Idols: Yes! Neil Gaiman. He’s a legend and someone I admire, especially when the writer’s block is slaying me.

Is There A Real Life Friend You Can Completely Be Yourself With: Yes! I made a tumblr post about him! We’ve known each other a long time.

What Are Your Interests: All things spooky. Ghosts. Graveyards. Stars. Galaxies. Planets. Everything about the solar system. True crime. History. Metaphysical things.

Where Would You Love To Travel To: Ireland. New Zealand. Scotland.

Is There A Random Fact About Yourself That You’d Like To Share: I like flamingos.

No pressure tags: @phoen1xr0se @ineffabildaddy @peregrintook @sad-chaos-goblin @spot-o-bodysnatchin @apocalypticginger-blog @crowleyscleaninglady @missdeliadilisblog @ritz-writes @ineffablemoist @turquoisedata @azirapalalalala @peachworthy @pretendygood @belladonna413 @jackinistafflower @aziraphalalala @scarecrowcloud @tragic-cosmic-magic @musingsofmaisie

It’s open to everyone, but here is an apology dance in case I missed anyone! 💚

[minecraftbookshelf]

For your marriage of the state au:

What exactly is the wither?

Is it like another one of the main “deities” like Trixtin in Pixandria or Aeor and Exor with its own followers or is it like summoning a demon which can be done multiple times with the wither being more of a species than a specific mythical creature. How do other empires view the wither?

Have they ever fought the wither before? Is it a dangerous threat like an Armageddon with it being a huge historical event or is it seen more as a natural disaster? Is it seen as a myth like a creature told in folk tales but most don’t believe to be real. Do other empires battle it as a kind of ritual or show of strength? (mostly asking for Gilded Helianthia as I can total see that empire having ceremonies where their best warriors try to kill the wither)

How did the wither rose alliance come to be?

This is the main question I want answered in this ask. Judging by what you wrote about them it seems like the wither rose alliance only truely came to be once Fwip, Sausage and Gem became the rulers (although I wouldn’t be surprised if I misinterpreted something). In the original mincraft story they got their name from killing the wither as they wanted to prank Jimmy with wither roses so I’m wondering why did they fight the wither this time? This is kinda overlapping with above but did the WRA empires have any connections/experiences with the wither before hand and if so how will it affect their judgement on the name? Is the killing of the wither viewed by the people as a great feat for the trio and an achievement or a horrible decision that could have gone terribly wrong? Is this related to that one event where Fwip and Sausage saved Gem’s life (you haven’t really talked about it that much)?

And finally, how does the Overgrown feel about the wither rose and the name of the WRA?

It hasn’t been talked about in any of the Overgrown’s posts but I feel like, considering Katherine’s lore in the empires smp, flowers would be quite culturally significant as they live in the flower forest so a flower like the wither rose, one that harms and takes life away from other people, wouldn’t be treated lightly. Is the wither rose seen as a bad omen or is it similar to how we view a skull with it still symbolising death and murder but not be taken to seriously where mentioning skulls or using it in naming or it’s imagery isn’t seen as horrifying. Is it treated with the same amount of respect as other flowers as even though it’s deadly it’s still a part of nature or is it something to be condemned and feared? When the Overgrown found out about the name of the WRA did they find it a cultural offfence, was the alliance more feared because of it or did the Overgrown view it as mortals trying to be edgy, and how did their perception of the name change overtime?

Sorry, this is a lot but I am really getting into this au and I hope this ask gives you some fun ideas

So I haven't talked a whole lot about the Nether and how it works for the AU on here, I'm realizing.

The wither in particular is not part of the pantheons. It's generally classified as a cursed construct, since its cobbled together from pieces of the undead. Knowledge of how to summon it is carefully guarded, but if you know where to look isn't too difficult to find.

And young Fwhip, Gem, and Sausage, between the three of them. Definitely found it.

Summoning a wither is a) something only done occasionally, for specific resources and b) usually something done in semi-controlled circumstances, and is considered a military operation, more or less, with multiple people on hand to help take it down. It is not something that three teenagers are supposed to sneak out to do together. (But Fwhip wanted a nether star and they all wanted roses and so they did it and somehow didn't die, though they definitely got close.)

It was considered a feat mostly because of how young they were when they did it and the fact that it was just the three of them.

And that is when the three of them started calling themselves the Wither Rose Alliance, more of a joke between friends, back when Sausage was the only one of them who was royalty, and even he was still not king yet. And it just kinda stuck. (This will all, or at least a good chunk of it be in their origin/backstory fics)

They all became friends fairly young, Fwhip and Sausage first, and then they found Gem and then Sausage found Pearl. The time that Fwhip and Sausage saved Gem's life (instead of vice versa) was the very first time they met when they were very small, and is also how Fwhip and Gem ended up siblings. (Gem is adopted, in this AU)

The Grimlands, the Crystal Cliffs, and Mythland (and Helianthia) were usually allied on some level, being most of the kingdoms with primarily mortal, land-dwelling populations. (Mezalea's close ties with the Ocean and the Swamp caused some divides there) They've also been pretty close with Pixandria, historically. The Grimlands especially, Pix was a frequent visitor there throughout Fwhip and Gem's youth.

When the Roseblings and Sausage (and Pearl) became rulers of their respective empires that just brought them all even closer.

As for wither roses themselves, they are widely viewed as representative of death, specifically unnatural death, though in the case of the WRA its also a symbol of their bonds with each other on a personal level. Because they ultimately come from the undead, they aren't really associated with Trixtin.

The Overgrown actually has some wither roses of their own. The fae are not opposed to violent and horrific murder as a general rule and are, in fact, something of enthusiasts tbh. Katherine's peaceful goals are oriented more on a political level than a personal one.

In the Overgrown wither roses are primarily used as a form of public execution. If anything, they kind of approve of the use of the name for the alliance, because it does seem very much like mortals trying to be edgy and they like that.

I think I got most of the ask covered!

Also welcome! I'm glad you are enjoying the AU. If you stick around we have a lot of fun here!

[whereispearlescentmoon]

Ok, so starting with Jimmy, my thoughts are mainly based on the animatic and less of Jimmy as a character. Essentially I view him as the person who tries to die in order to save the ones he cares about, and he does over and over again. (I view him as doing this in order to show the inevitability of death each season to try to get his allies to not be complacent in the games) But the part that I think is interesting that no one seems to talk about, is that he fails every time. In third life, his death caused Scott to die trying to avenge him, in Last Life, Martyn died trying to make a deal with a watcher to save him, Double Life doesn't work as well, but you could say that his death caused Tango to die of grief. Then in limited life, Jimmy dies in the exact way that Grian is going to die, but his warning is completely useless and Grian dies in the exact same ways anyways. (I headcanon that this made him finally realize that his deaths were meaningless and the "curse" ends). My thoughts on Pearl started later and kind of build off these thoughts with Jimmy (also kind of based on the posts bigb enthusiast and mapleejay made on nosy neighbors canary in a coal mine). Pearl in Limited Life and Secret Life is desperately trying to be the "canary", using her death in order to save her allies and let them win. In limited life she does this literally with BigB, repeatedly giving him her time. However, she fails as a canary, she outlives the coal miner. Then in Secret Life she has new allies and makes the same promise to them, that she will do anything to get them to win. But then again they all die before her. But then there's scar. Pearl desperately clings to the idea that Scar can be the one that she saves with her death, she makes him an honorary mounder, and then tries to sacrifice herself to him before the final fight but he refuses. Then they win the fight and are the only two left. (next part is mainly headcanony) So then Pearl is left here in the same position Scott was, able to finally sacrifice herself to let her ally win. But Scar doesn't give her time, he immediately betrays her, because he was never a mounder, that was just Pearl desperately needing someone to save. And so she is killed by Scar unable to save anyone

You and I have completely different interpretations of what a canary is (partially why I don't generally vibe with canary Jimmy), and also who Life!Jimmy is, but this is really cool!

For me, Jimmy isn't a canary because, and I'm not saying this to be mean but it's true, his deaths are kind of meaningless. Or maybe not meaningless, but they don't teach anyone anything other than people are going to start perma-dying. This may be a deep pull, but if you watch RPDR or Survivor, there's always a moment when the first person has gone home and someone says, like, "Well it's gotten real now" because even if you know someone has to go first, it's still a hard thing.

Jimmy isn't dying on purpose, and his deaths are ultimately meaningless once the actual blood bath starts and people start killing each other vs his deaths which are accidents or to mobs. Maybe crow is a better bird for him honestly, or raven. A bad omen. The tragedy of Life!Jimmy is that, well, he just keeps getting screwed over by small mistakes that kill him. Letting go of shift for a second or looking an enderman in the eye or not choosing the right path to avoid a warden. He's the universe's punching bag.

Pearl is very specifically a canary in Wild Life because her deaths are warnings. Don't shift near edges because the hit boxes are wonky and you'll fall, don't try to put a shield up because you'll eat your weapon, the snails can instamine blocks and leap over one block gaps. She's not dying on purpose, but her deaths are meaningful. She will be useful, in life or death. She must be. I don't really see Canary!Pearl for the other life series. Yes, she sacrifices herself to give BigB time, but if that's canary criteria, so are Skizz and Scott.

I also don't necessarily see what Scar did as a betrayal. There's two of them left, only one can win. Pearl expressed repeatedly that she didn't want to win, she wanted one of the other Mounders to win. By making Scar a last minute honorary Mounder, she has a duty to lose to him. Yes, she technically didn't sacrifice herself, but I don't think she was fighting to win. Someone who's fighting to win doesn't tell their opponent about the zombie behind them. They don't ignore the golden apple in their hot bar. Hell, she only even got one hit in on Gem because she wanted to step away and let Scar beat Gem himself.

[ptvpolls]

i love ptv covers sm n this was a couple of songs that would acc slap if ptv or vic covered them :3

(hear me out + im very tired idk what im talking about)

no bcs just imagine these songs with vics voice and accent and mispronunciation of "me" as "may" etc

pls no bcs imagine change in the house of flies

iy watched a chayyyyynge in yuw 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

[tubbytarchia]

jim strim. theyre doing a trial chamber today

jimmy has inherited olis property. honestly there isnt a lot of it but he inherited it. its like a little platform on the side of the disc. notably its right near sausages house

the gang today is jimmy cpk sneeg and martyn. surely this wont go wrong

jimmy has like 9 stacks of eggs in his inventory for some reason so he throws all of them at scotts house. "take that scott smajor. thats what you get. for not being a dischead. for being a donut. take that."

jimmy runs back over to martyn. he asks if theyre a team and martyn says every man for himself. martyn if u dont team with him.. but then sneeg interrupts them by throwing eggs at them. cpk comes over too and they start joking about making a podcast. they switch from bit to bit so fast idk how to summarise it.

the trial chamber isnt that far away so they find it and start digging down. sneeg IMMEDIATELY gets lost so cpk goes back up to get him while jimmy and martyn start raiding the chamber.

jimmy starts talking about the new blocks and martyn asks him to repeat himself so hes like "i always think theyre like-" then martyns like "IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!" and they both laugh (he immediately apologises) then jimmys like haha that actually made me really upset :(

jimmy uses a vault and gets a bad omen bottle and he drinks it almost immediately. keep in mind hes not even in full diamond yet btw. not enchanted.

jimmy gets down to 3 hearts. then 2 hearts. sneeg gives him a golden apple. he manages to heal up so its all fine. they get their ominous keys. sneeg gives him more gapples. while the others are opening their ominous vaults jim crafts a diamond helmet and boots so now hes in full diamond :)

both cpk and jimmy get the "take aim" achievement while in the chamber. ??

jimmy tabbed out for literally a few seconds to ask people to like the stream and cpk started mining the floor under him. for funsies.

sneeg hits jimmy with his bow and apologises. which IS important. to me. sneeg and jimmy can be something so wonderful.

cpk got the mace. jimmy doesnt care in favour of sneeg getting the ominous trial exclusive music disc

they get one of the banner patterns and they. try to test it. on a white banner with white dye. then get confused as to why it doesnt work.

they head back home to drop off some stuff then go to the next chamber. turns out they arent that far apart

fwhip joins the server. they invite him but he is in iron armour. so he doesnt come along.

new info on the deaths, oli died to a creeper on stream and aimsey died in a bastion off stream (but there is video of it? apparently martyn showed his chat earlier)

they play for a bit then jimmys audio fucks up so he has to relog. turns out flick jumped onto his pc and just disconnected a bunch of cables

honestly the rest of the chamber is the standard everyone having fun sometimes making fun of jimmy in a nice way. martyn and sneeg start making fun of cops out of nowhere which is based. jimmy can do a really good mickey mouse impression?

jim tries to leave the trial chamber to log off but he gets lost for ages so just logs off in it. new video tomorrow. yayyyy

Sneeg... I have faith in you Sneeg.... giving Jimmy golden apples and apologizing for accidentally hurting him... Sneeeeg you can make a difference Sneeg.......... Jimmy also ignoring cpk to help Sneeg is awesome. Wow this is so symbolism to me (everything is symbolism to me)

side eyes cpk though. AND MARTYNNN aoughhhhh that "It doesnt matter what you think" bit is SOOOOO property police. This is just Evo property police. The fact that they both laugh about it too. BUT THEN JIMMY?????? UGHHHH please be gentler with him... I know how you are Martyn but you can do better I have faith...

Also them not understanding that white dye does not show up on white banners is really funny. Good job guys

[best-tv-theme-song]

Polls will start to be posted within the next week or so.

Bracket list under the cut!

UPDATE: LIST CANCELLED

*Starred shows have multiple theme songs or I have combined shows in a franchise in an effort to include as much as possible. These will have preliminaries built-into their polls on the first round. This is how it works: 1. all of the songs will go into a poll together against one other show; 2. the COMBINED votes for those songs will determine which show wins that poll; 3. only the top voted song for that show/franchise will move on, if the show has won the poll. (If you are confused it will make more sense when we start, I promise!)

The 100

30 Rock

9-1-1*

The Addams Family

Adventure Time*

The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

All That

The Amazing World of Gumball

American Dragon: Jake Long

Animaniacs

Arcane: League of Legends

Arrested Development

Arthur

Assassination Classroom*

Austin & Ally

The Backyardigans

Barney & Friends

Barry

Batman*

Bear in the Big Blue House

Ben 10*

Better Call Saul

Beverly Hills, 90210

The Big Bang Theory

Big Time Rush

Bill Nye the Science Guy

Black Sails

Bluey

Bob the Builder

Bob's Burgers

BoJack Horseman

Bones

Boy Meets World

The Brady Bunch

Breaking Bad

Bridgerton

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Buffy the Vampire Slayer*

Captain Planet and the Planeteers

Charmed

Cheers

Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

Choo Choo Soul

Code Lyoko

Codename: Kids Next Door

Cold Case

Community

Cory in the House

Cowboy Bebop

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend*

Criminal Minds

CSI*

Cyberchase

Danny Phantom

Daredevil

Dawson's Creek

Death Note*

Desperate Housewives

Detective Conan

Dexter

Dexter's Laboratory

Diff'rent Strokes

Digimon*

Doctor Who*

Dora the Explorer

Downton Abbey

Dragon Ball*

Dragon Tales

Drake & Josh

Ducktales*

ER

Ever After High

The Fairly OddParents

Firefly

The Flintstones

Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Fraggle Rock

Frasier

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Friends

Fringe

Full House

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood*

Futurama

Game of Thrones

George Lopez

George of the Jungle

Gilmore Girls

Glee

The Golden Girls

Good Omens

Gravity Falls

Grey's Anatomy

H2O: Just Add Water

Hannah Montana

Hannibal

Happy Days

Hawaii Five-0*

His Dark Materials

Horrible Histories

House, M.D.

How I Met Your Mother

How It's Made

Hunter × Hunter

Huntik: Secrets & Seekers

I Dream of Jeannie

I Love Lucy

iCarly

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

The Jeffersons

Jeopardy!

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure*

Jonas

Justice League

Kim Possible

The Last of Us

Laverne & Shirley

Law & Order*

LazyTown

The Legend of Vox Machina

Leverage

Lilo & Stitch: The Series

Little Einsteins

Lizzie McGuire

Looney Tunes & Merrie Melodies

The Love Boat

M*A*S*H

Mad Men

Madoka Magica*

The Magic School Bus

Malcolm in the Middle

The Mandalorian

The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Merlin

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

Mister Rogers' Neighborhood

Mob Psycho 100

The Monkees

Monster High

The Muppet Show

Murder, She Wrote

Murdoch Mysteries

My Babysitter's a Vampire

My Hero Academia*

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

The Nanny

Naruto*

NCIS

Neon Genesis Evangelion

The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

New Girl

NFL (various network themes)*

Ninjago

The O.C.

The Office

One Day at a Time*

One Piece

Only Murders in the Building

Orange Is the New Black

Ouran High School Host Club

The Owl House

Parks and Recreation

The Partridge Family

Phil of the Future

Phineas and Ferb

Pinky and the Brain

Pippi Longstocking

Pokémon*

Power Rangers

The Powerpuff Girls

Pretty Little Liars

The Price Is Right

The Proud Family

Psych

Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure

Reading Rainbow

Reba

Red Dwarf

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Riverdale

Rugrats

Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat

Sailor Moon

Sanford and Son

Saturday Night Live

Schitt's Creek

Scooby-Doo*

Scrubs

Seinfeld

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Sesame Street

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Sherlock

The Simpsons

Smallville

Sofia the First

Sonny with a Chance

The Sopranos

Spider-Man

SpongeBob SquarePants

Star Trek (instrumental themes)*

Star Trek: Enterprise

Star vs. the Forces of Evil

Stargate*

Steven Universe

Stranger Things

Succession

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody*

Suits

Taskmaster

Ted Lasso

Teen Titans

Teen Wolf

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teletubbies

That '70s Show

That's So Raven

Theory of Love

Thomas & Friends

Tokyo Ghoul

Total Drama

Totally Spies!

Transformers*

True Blood

The Twilight Zone

Twin Peaks

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

VeggieTales

Veronica Mars

Victorious

Voltron: Legendary Defender

W.I.T.C.H.

The Walking Dead

WandaVision*

Welcome Back, Kotter

The West Wing

Westworld

What We Do in the Shadows

The White Lotus

Wild Kratts

Winx Club

The Wire*

The Witcher

Wizards of Waverly Place

Wonder Pets!

Wonder Woman

Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!

The X-Files

Xena: Warrior Princess

Yellowjackets

Yu-Gi-Oh!*

Yuri on Ice

Zoboomafoo

Zoey 101

[sfwroleplayfinder]

hi! call me pigeon/bea, and I'm looking for an rp friend (about 15-19 age range is what I'm comfortable with)

pronouns are she/he and any neos (ilysm if you use neos!!).

I haven'r rpd in a long time because my servers have dried up/i've gotten busy and ghosted people i feel so bad 😭 but I'd love to start again.

>< good omens (i'd like to rp as aziraphale, or maybe beelzebub)

>< supernatural (cas mostly, maybe also sam, jack, jimmy, claire .. there's so many characters in this show man)

>< IT (eddie and georgie mainly)

>< heathers (jd! but im also down for veronica)

really anything!! i'm also down for non fandom, I'm not the best at coming up with oc's but i sure would love to have a go! literally I don't mind I'm just here to have fun.

ship stuff is cool! but it doesn't have to be. I'd prefer seeing how it evolves.

prefer to rp on discord but we don't have to

nobody older than 19, please :)

talk to me on here if you're interested!! Thank you for reading so much, I hope you have a lovely day!

Please contact Bea and he'll contact you! (You didn't specify which neos you use, I don't want to assume)