#in which i completely forgot i said des can sing? what?

[bloodpen-to-paper]

QSMP Awards 2024 Summarized

-The audio was scuffed for the first half. I don't mean a little crispy. I don't mean with a slight echo. It was fucked in every way imaginable. The audio sounded like it was going through a blender. Then it kept getting too loud, then too quiet (so much so we couldn't hear), all while being way too crispy. Charlie Slimecicle monologued to the audience while the team was trying to fix it but since the audio was both too crispy and too quiet we couldn't actually understand anything he was saying. This carried on for about 7 minutes with him holding two microphones, neither of which was working, before the stream crashed (again)

-All the staff are apparently Cucurucho, with one of them being a "main Cucurucho"

-Missa wore a "Quackity my beloved" shirt. I could not explain to you what the blazer over it was supposed to be.

-Everyone else at the ceremony was shown through discord call. I'm convinced Charlie has never seen German or Lenay's faces cause he did not know it was them until Quackity said their names

-The screen was supposed to switch between showing all the people on the discord and it kept switching between the same four people. If I have to hear Q, Charlie and Missa chant "Foolish" or "Pol" ever again-

-Mariana showed up and Charlie immediately went into bitter ex mode. He also hit on Mariana. Multiple times.

-We got a patented Ironmouse "coño" and chat lost their shit over Luzu existing, as expected

-Mariana looked like Michael Jackson, Bad's background could've been the set of Breaking Bad, Roier had a ski mask, lots of people learned what Lenay, German and Vegetta's looked like for the first time, and Mike had a kawaii filter

-Somehow Bad didn't even get nominated for Best Cucurucho Jumpscare, showing that even non-red carpet events can produce award snubs (congrats to Bagi!)

-Though I yearned for Maximus getting nominated for his Eh Vegetta prank, we all knew the win had to go to Vegetta for the mines

-The audio eventually became bearable but the echo never fully left. At some point there were like three or four overlaps of Vegetta giving his acceptance speech

-Acau won for Best Death from getting killed by an enderman (in my heart Foolish's accidental death by Pomme's sniper that got him eliminated from the elections won, but we did get Quackity dying to a fly as a nom so I feel complete. Also congrats to Acau!)

-The Qsmp shop is officially open! We got eggie merch :]

-Quackity forgot to roll clips for the Best Purgatory 2 Moment nominees and almost read out the winner before we got the montage (Wuant won! It was the clip of him being told he lost and he accidentally did a flip. They weren't able to get the acceptance speech on stream so we saw it from Quackity's phone)

-Funniest QSMP Moment nominees were all fucking hilarious, its hard to pick just one but Maxo winning for when he respawned after a lore-heavy moment in Pierre's bed to his own moans being remixed into a song absolutely deserved the win

-Saddest QSMP Moment was unnecessary and the admins will be hearing from my lawyers for making me relive Dapper's first lost life, Dia de los Muertos and the end of Purgatory 1 (Jaiden and Roier saying bye to Bobby won, Roier changed his screen to black and white and held up what looked like a mini Cucurucho being used as a cross)

-Best QSMP Original Song was played prematurely when the category was Best Language Exchange, and we got a spoiler for the winner (YD and Hugo's exchange won and YD's audio was muted so we just saw her Vtuber model getting excited)

-The aforementioned Best Qsmp Original Song had Gordinho Gostosinho looping aggressively over Charlie singing the Juanaflippa song, which I hope to god gets clipped cause it was hilarious (I'm glad the Roier and Cucurucho rap got nominated). Charlie was very confused why they had him announce his own win.

-Best PVP unsurprisingly went to Etoiles for his colosseum Code fight, after all he is the Best🔥 (the other noms were great too, we had Philza vs Tubbo in Purgatory, Bad and Maxo eliminating El Quackity from the elections, and a cute sparring session between Pac and Richas)

-Best Qsmp Fails went to Fit for that time Pac's internet cut out during their date (of course he bragged about his Brasilian boyfriend after learning he won for best loser)(also if it was up to me Quackity's fly deaths would've been added to this category just sayin')

-The audio problems were revealed to have been roleplay the entire time. Yep. All part of the lore.

-Speaking of, most of the winners who were in the discord call could not be heard so they had to give speeches through Quackity holding his phone up to the mic

-Best Roleplayer went to Roier for his Doied arc (the screen prematurely showed him before they could read the announcement, and his speech was him kissing the camera)

-Worst Server House went to Mariana accompanied with the classic clip of him reacting to the admins roasting his started base; Mariana was part of the discord call but left at some point so he couldn't give a speech, to which Charlie jumped on the opportunity to roast his absence like a shark smelling blood (they rightfully nominated Quackity for his clip of Acau reacting to his failure of a starter house, and apparently Carre's base is just his bed on a dirt plot)

-Most Iconic Clip went to Pac for stealing the Qsmp Logo (the other lovely noms included Foolish and co. accidentally closing their house door after a creeper came in an attempt to shut it out, and Tina reacting to a mob giving Felps a blowjob)

-The Most Bankrupt Islander went to Niki for being broke, we stan (during the nom montage we got a passa tudo mention)

-The Creator Who Spent the Most Time on the Server Award went to Bad, which was shocking to no one, although they did use his Barbie Girl clip for the nom montage (they also used Fit wearing a wig for his clip)

-The Qsmp cake for the one year anniversary had the text "FELICIDADES ALBERTO". We do not know who Alberto is. Pol was losing it.

-Tubbo won for The Creator With the Most Deaths (106), while The Creator With Fewest Deaths went to Philza (he only had 1!). Philza was able to be heard through stream but the hosts didn't know this so they would hear him from Quackity's phone and repeat what he was saying even though we could hear him

-Everytime the camera cut back to the hosts Charlie, Quackity and Missa had more cake on their faces

-Most Distance Traveled (in Minecraft) went to Etoiles (6,000+ km jfc)

-Creator With the Most Mob Kills went to Pierre (162,960 mob kills. what the fuck.)

-They accidentally read the award for Creator With the Most Damage Taken (Foolish) during the Best Builder announcement, confusing the shit out of everyone, especially cause the screen showed Mike instead of Foolish. I am still unclear who won Best Builder

-Creator With the Most Blocks Placed went to Mike!!! (MIKE WIN VAMBORAAAAAAAAAAA🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷)

-We had to uncomfortably sit through Missa feeding Charlie cake (and just Charlie in general)

-There was an In Memorium segment of the passed eggs (Quackity shat on a grieiving Charlie for Flippa only lasting 11 days, but in Charlie's words, "to you it was 11 days; to her it was a lifetime"). Charlie commentated and had nothing to say about Trump because he didn't know jack shit about Trump (though he did make a wall joke which is exactly what Maxo would have wanted godbless🙏)

-The stream ended with the discord people saying goodbye, while Roier was holding up the mini Cucuruchos and didn't move the entire time. I know he wasn't frozen because he blinked.

-Maxo sent in his acceptance speech video last minute and Quackity hyped it up as a mysterious final entry but Charlie guessed it was Maxo and spoiled it on accident

-Speaking of, Maxo's entry was him walking around heaven looking for Trump </3

-Charlie gave a heartfelt speech about the people he met through the Qsmp, all while looking like ate out frosty the snowman <3. Missa simpy thanked Alberto (we still do not know who Alberto is)

-Tubbo wasn't present in the discord call because he thought him streaming meant he couldn't join. After the stream Quackity called and Tubbo realized he was allowed to join the whole time

-We ended on a montage of various moments, with a message of excitement looking forward to the next year!

And of course, here are the screenies I managed to nab of the hosts slowly deteriorating into cake

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A couple of replies, a longer one about fandom.

hadesdancehall asked:

BOKU NO RISOU NO ROI DE POISON DE WA I'M LOSING MY MIND OVER TETTERE!ROOK

YESSSSS YES YES I AM SO HAPPY YOU GET IT LOL Rook and Tettere are the same, the idea of this crossover was driving me crazy, I had to draw it. Look at him go, singing about continuously loving every single person until he finds the one…

Fun fact about this sketch: we have no idea why I drew Alte-Rose!Malleus there. It’s been a while since I drew this sketch, and I completely forgot… I guess she had to deal with this Tettere too, so it kind of fits lol

Anonymous asked:

I know you aren't really type to give information just gorgeous art. But in your last reply post you said you do traditional art and just coloured them digitally.

So I'm wondering... How do you do it!?

Because everytime I try to do that it looks so weird. I can't seem to get the colors as vibrant as I can when I'm only doing digital.

Thank you for praising my art! But Anon, I do give information :c I wrote a reply about this exact topic just a couple of days ago which is filled to the brim with links about everything in my art process + have a guide about exactly this topic.

Your colours might seem off for a number of reasons, it’s hard to tell exactly why by just guessing. It can be related to your software/display or directly to your choice of colours.

Anonymous asked:

Ryu, your dissatisfaction with Twisted Wonderland's age rating is very understandable! The game is allegedly a joseimuke game aimed at adult women, especially in light of the fact that this is a gacha game and that adults—who earn a regular income—will be the true target market. It's a little frightening that adults who play these kinds of games have to be so careful about how we express our affection for the characters lest we be labelled as predators or worse, p*dos. Making adult gamers feel bad for enjoying these "children" who are clearly meant to be adults. They're fictional, and most of them definitely don't look or act like boys their age. Some characters appear so mature; this really struck me as being university attendee coded. It's not like the ensemble is exclusively comprised of children, you know? The game revolves around attractive anime boys who are intentionally created to appear older than they actually are. Unfortunately, despite the fact that i enjoy Twisted Wonderland, it is the first fandom where i experienced Ageism in a fandom.

Trey is, if my memory serves me correctly, one of the most well-liked characters in the Japanese fandom (i remember there used to be a JP poll asking which character in Twist was the most loved). Most likely due to his personality, which again makes sense given that the majority of Twist users are grownups and Trey's portrayal of a character who, despite being a young adult, is quite mature.

Furthermore, even though I realise I'm going to sound like Idia, I detest how the "Normies" entered Nerd/Geek spaces after gaining popularity and then pretended to be uncomfortable with what they saw. You came to OUR space, dude! What did they expect?!

Anon! Sorry for replying late, and thank you! You’ve made so many very good points.

It really is an obvious joseimuke in how the game is written, how the game operates (the gacha system, like you mentioned) + even the type of merch that exists for this game. If you think about it, this is probably the best way to determine the actual target audience of any piece of media: just like Prince of Tennis is technically a classic Shonen Jump series, but all the merch they have is clearly aimed at adult women (purses, perfume, etc).

So yeah, even if that wasn’t the case, calling people predators over shipping themselves with Azul would be a bad thing to do, but in this situation especially it’s absurd to call people out for interacting with TWST pretty much the way it was indented…

What you said about the characters’ age and Trey specifically is so true. To be fair, this could be said about any joseimuke-like title with a big ensemble of boys, Prince of Tennis included. All the characters there are 12-15 years old, but god some of them look over 30.

I think it is important to keep in mind the intended age to a degree (= I dislike how the EN translation tries to dance around mentioning the boys’ age), and Twst does a good job at keeping these boys authentic when it matters, but it doesn’t mean that people won’t ship them with other characters or themselves. And no one questions it and no one finds it weird because it isn’t. It’s not that deep, it has nothing to do with how real teens look or act, this is a fantasy in people’s heads, it’s escapism, it so different and so far removed from the regular boring life it’s insane. It’s so difficult not to sound like Idia, SO I FEEL YOU ANON.  Someone called it the moe factor that some people just don’t get. So I guess it really is about people being normies sometimes lol I wish they would leave already.

[pleasecallmenicole]

Any particular Touhou song remixes you're a fan of?

Touhou Arrangements are something i need to explore more of. Ive only stuck to a lot of the songs and circles ive found in 2017. That being said, there are certain songs that I'm just a huge fan of with youtube links for you to listen to.

More Then a Night from by A-One, but you'll probably be more familiar with who made it, Jessa Stebbins or Odyssey Eurobeat. Really nice and calming song despite being eurobeat, always fun to go back to over the years.

Fall In The Dark from ShibayanRecords. A classic for me if I'm being honest; one of the first touhou arrangements I heard when getting into the series and it's always had a relaxing feel to it that I kept coming back to. Love this song.

in the wind from Reset All Controllers. Absolutely beautiful strings song. Its quite a slow song; very calming and nice to listen to. And it slowly speeding up gives it a bit of emotional catharsis from it. Nice song to cry to time to time.

Old Tales of Old Heroes from Karasu. Really cool song, mixing in elements of rock and traditional Japanese music that bring in a fun listening experience. Makes it even neater that the composer is from Poland. One of the first arrangements I've heard too, never really forgot it.

Smiling Girl of History from DDBY. Cafe of Touhou song, if you've heard of that. This one really stood out to me. While fitting into the slow chill music of Cafe de Touhou, its so full of energy, so radiant, so joyous. I feel like I can dance in the night with this music, its just irradiates the feeling of restrained joy in a way, just love it.

KILLOVE FIREPROOF! from Akatsuki Records. Honestly had to restrain myself from including a lot of their music, a lot of them vibe with me just really well. This song is probably what really pushed me into liking Mokou as well as terumoko as a whole when I was just getting into Touhou. Always fun to listen to just from its unique composition to me.

鈴蘭 ~Proof that Love Was Never Real~ from Takamachi Walk. Really nice band. They do a lot of Metal music singing about bad relationships, its nice if you ever in a depressive mood but still fun metal to listen regardless. Its also pretty hard for me to pick a definitive song to put on here from them, since so many of their song's mood get me, but this one with the duo singing I think really encapsulates the best of their songs.

Hello, my friend from Diao ye zong. Recent song I found, got it here on tumblr. Absolutely love this song, it is just so emotionally charged to me. I can feel the weight behind everything in the song through the singing and the music which just feels incredible to me. It has genuinely made me cry a couple of times, thats how well it resonates with me.

There might be a theme or two from the music I've listed here. There are many touhou arrangements out there that I love, even this list is merely showcasing a good few that I think off and not really the best of the best from my experience. I hope this has answered your question and that i didn't completely misunderstand you when you said remixes

[desmondbeaumont-blog]

headcanons: an assortment

tw: rape mention and talking about sexuality

appearance

des likes to claim he has perfect vision when in reality he is a glasses wearer. when he was younger, the other kids would pick on him and call him four eyes, so he jumped at the chance when his doctor prescribed him contacts. glasses are considered stylish nowadays, but he still only wears them in bed or when his contacts irritate his eyes. 

quirks

des is extremely ticklish, and hates to be tickled. here are des’ thoughts about it:  “Jude would never get him to admit his greatness weakness. He would never find out that Des was basically ticklish on every inch of his body, and once he felt that nerve-wracking anticipation of potential tickling, the lightest touch would set him off. He learned from experience to keep this information to himself, because whenever someone found that out, they took great pleasure in holding him against his will while they slowly killed him. There was nothing worse than being both trapped and tickled at the same time.”

five interesting facts from bio

he was the captain of the football team in sixth form, until the incident, and now plays for the durham team. he has never had a real relationship, because he has trouble keeping his focus on one person. while, he has numerous good friends, he does have one best friend named alfie, who he keeps in touch with regularly. his favorite childhood film was lion king, which made him desperately want a pet lion, but he settled for a golden retriever named mufasa instead. his secret talent is his ability to sing. although, he loves to show off, he could never sing in front of other people, which is why he decided not to do drama in university.  

sexuality

des’ isn’t extremely educated on gender or sexuality, but he tries to take the time to learn. he identifies as pansexual, because he is attracted to people, regardless of identity. however, des doesn’t really know about other orientations like demisexual, asexual, etc. des is actually panromantic and demisexual. back in college, he would engage in physical relationships, because he thought that was what he was supposed to do, but he never really got what the big deal was. since he hasn’t been in a real relationship before, he hasn’t experienced what real sexual desire feels like yet. also, he hasn’t been interested in romance due to trauma. 

the incident (rape tw)

as mentioned in his best friend’s post, his best mate, alfie, has a childhood friend named finn carran. finn has always hated des, because he believed he was trying to take alfie away from him, and des always made it very clear that he thought he was a bad influence. although des doesn’t know it, the strange hands he keeps feeling in his nightmares belong to finn. the night of the party finn slipped something in des’ drink and cornered him behind the bleachers. 

powers

after getting a hold of the locket, des has ability to feel light waves. now, he can extend and brighten his light, plus create different colors. he’s still practicing, but in the future, he will be able to produce lasers and potentially use x-ray vision. des’ ability relies greatly on his emotions. light is his power, because he tries so hard to be a positive presence in his friends’ life. he’s able to produce light, because, as far as des knows, he’s usually happy. however, when he eventually figures out what happened, i imagine he’ll have trouble manipulating light for a while. 

[paperandsong]

Hi I read your post where you spoke about phantom of the opera and authenticity. I’m curious to know what was omitted in the original translation of the novel. What were Christine’s feelings about Erik that weren’t included?

Hi anon! I love this topic so much thank you for asking. I want to say first that @fdelopera’s blog has lots of great information about the different PotO translations and every phan should check it out. I have learned a lot from that blog and from other phans, especially @catcorsair and @lebzpel.

The first English translator, Alexander Teixeira de Mattos, left out around 100 pages worth of text. Sometimes entire passages are missing, sometimes it’s just a single word. It isn’t known why Teixeira left out so much or why he left out certain details specifically (but I speculate in my fic Men of Letters and Erik is not happy about the omission).

Some of the omitted passages are quite emotionally heavy and can affect the way the reader understands Christine’s actions. The omitted passages leave out a range of Christine’s feelings for Erik – a pendulum swing from tenderness to terror. These passages don’t hold the answer to the question we all want to know: Does Christine really love Erik? But they do add more layers of complexity and intensity to the relationship.

Here are three examples from the Apollo’s Lyre chapter. This is the chapter in which Christine takes Raoul to the rooftop of the Garnier and tells him the entire story of her abduction. It is the chapter where the reader gets the most vivid descriptions of Erik’s house, his face, his emotional range. We must keep in mind though, that this is Christine’s story as she tells it to Raoul. We should ask, is she telling the truth or is there a reason she might alter certain details for Raoul’s benefit?

1. Desdemona’s Willow Song

Teixeira: “That night, we did not exchange another word. He sang me to sleep.”

Ribière: “That night, we did not exchange another word. Taking up a harp, he – the man with the voice of an angel – started singing Desdemona’s Willow Song. I had sung it myself and felt ashamed of my memory of it. Music, Raoul, has the power to make one forget everything save those sounds that touch your heart. I forgot my extraordinary situation. The Voice was back. Enthralled, I followed his harmonious lead; I became one of Orpheus’ flock! He took me through sorrow and delight, through martyrdom, despair and bliss, from death to triumphant love. I listened. He sang. He sang pieces unknown to me, new music that induced in me strange feelings of tenderness, languor and peace…music which, having stirred my soul, soothed it little by little, bringing it to the threshold of dreams. I fell asleep.”

*This passage is reminiscent of the tender Music of the Night scene of ALW’s musical. Except that this passage is completely absent from the Teixeira translation and a more complete translation would not be published until 1990 (Bair). Perhaps ALW read the original French? Does anyone know? I have my doubts.

2. The Scissors

Teixeira: “I was very angry, slammed the door in his face and went to the bath-room…When I came out again, feeling greatly refreshed, Erik said that he loved me, but that he would never tell me so except when I allowed him and that the rest of the time would be devoted to music.”

Ribière: I slammed the door in his face and went into the bathroom. But before I took my bath, I placed a magnificently crafted pair of scissors within reach, determined to kill myself should Erik in his madness choose to behave dishonourably. Having bathed, I felt greatly refreshed. I wisely resolved not to antagonize him or hurt his feelings in any way and, if need be, to flatter him so as to regain my freedom as soon as possible. When I joined him, it was Erik who spoke first, saying that he wished to apprise me of his plans for me so that I might feel reassured. He enjoyed my company too much to leave me on my own, as he had done the previous day when confronted with my fear and indignation. Now I must understand, he continued, that there was no reason to be afraid of him. He loved me, but would never tell me so without my consent; the rest of the time would be devoted to music.

*This scissors are so important. Her use of the term “dishonourably” implies that Christine found Erik sexually threatening. She is afraid he is going to rape her. This omission can really change the way the reader understands the nature of Christine’s fear. I bring up the scissors in my fic Apollo’s Lyre: Uncensored Insert.

3. The Coffin

Teixeira: “…know that I am built up of death from head to foot and that it is a corpse that loves you and adores you and will never, never leave you!...Look, I am not laughing now, I am crying, crying…”

Ribière: “…understand that I am entirely made of death – from head to foot – and that it is a corpse who loves you, worships you and will never, never leave you! I will have a larger coffin made, Christine, for when our loving days finally come to an end! Look, I am not laughing now, I am weeping, weeping…”

*Erik’s threat to enlarge his coffin-bed could also be seen as a sexual threat. His mind is on marriage and the marriage bed. Christine is probably fingering those scissors in her pocket.

Feel free to discuss in the notes! I'm not an expert, but I do love PotO translation issues. For me, they are just another fascinating part of the story.

[natashxromanovf]

I want to see you smile

Pairing: Pietro Maximoff × fem!Stark! reader

Word count: 1.7K

Warnings: swearing (I think that’s it? If not, please let me know)

Type: fluff, friends to lovers

Summary: What happens when one friend falls in love with another? Are feelings mutual?

A/N: If you haven’t already noticed, I’m in love with friends to lovers trope. So yes, that’s what I’m writing. Again. In this fic, Thanos doesn’t exsist and everyone is alive. Just for clarification, Jenna is supossed to be Morgan’s babysitter. Also am I passing my obsession with Soy Luna to Morgan here? Yes, I am. This song is just so beautiful, yet sad at the same time. I don’t really like this, but oh weel, not everything can be amazing. Enjoy <3

Here's the link to the song

“And don’t forget to turn in your essays tomorrow!” yells the teacher, right before the bell rings, dismissing you from your last class. You pick up your backpack and look at Peter, who just stood up from his chair. “Are we hanging out today?” you ask. “Yes, we have to go to the compound, remember? Everyone will be there, there’s some important meeting, even we have to attend,” he explains. “But Steve said it’s not going to be long, so we can hang out after,” he says and you nod. Peter and you were best friends, ever since junior year of high school. The first time your dad introduced him to you (not knowing you two already know each other), was hilarious.

“Y/N, come in here honey!” yelled Tony from the common area. You were doing your homework, minding your business when you heard your dad calling you. “Coming dad!” you answered back. Once you got to the dining area, your father immediately started to speak “I want you to meet someone.” he said, gesturing to the boy beside him. As your head turns, you recognize this boy as none other than Peter Parker. “Peter?!” 

“Y/N?!” you both scream at the same time. “What are you doing here?” you asked, your eyes wide, surprise lacing your voice. “What am I doing here? The better question is what are you doing here?” he squeaked, his expression matching yours. “Woah, Woah, Woah, you two know each other?” Tony asked, just as confused as you were. “Yes we know each other, he’s basically my best friend,” you explained, Tony’s jaw dropping to the ground. “So that’s why you never let me come to your house,” chuckled Peter, finally putting all the pieces together. “Yea, that’s why.” you gently smiled. “Let’s introduce again, shall we? Hello, I’m Y/N, Y/N Stark.” you introduced yourself, making Peter laugh slightly. “Hey Y/N, I’m Peter Parker, also known as Spider-man.” now it was your turn to be surprised. “You’re Spider-man?!?” you asked. “And you’re a Stark! We’re even.” 

“I guess we are.”

Once you got to the compound, everyone was already there, even Morgan, to your surprise. “Mom, what’s Morgan doing here?” you question. “Wait a second, mom what are you doing here??” you now almost scream. “Didn’t Dad tell you?” she says and you shook your head no. “Oh, well, I told him to tell you, but what can you expect from Tony Stark?” she sighs. “Last mission went wrong and now a HYDRA base knows the addresses of all the Avengers, including ours, that’s why I’m here. And about Morgan... well we couldn’t reach Jenna, so we took her with us.” she frowns. “Oh, okay-” you were cut off, by none other than the famous Captain America. “Okay, so, I know you’re probably asking yourself ´What the hell are we doing here on our free day?´ but I have a good explanation for it. It has come to our attention that while we were on our last mission, fighting off HYDRA agents, some of them snuck into our jet and stole some information, including our home addresses. Now, since more than half of us lives here, or is from another planet,” he says, gesturing to Thor, “it’s not so serious, except for Tony, Pepper, Y/N, Peter, and Bruce. Your addresses have been compromised, so I would suggest for you to stay here for a couple of weeks, just to be safe.” he ends his long explanation, and all of you agree to stay here. “Wow, I need to call Aunt May,” says Peter, and you nod, gesturing for him to go. After you shoo Peter away, to go and talk to May, Pietro appears behind you, his usual smirk printed on his lips “Hey, printsessa.” he greets and you wave. “Hello Pietro, how are you?” you smile, his presence always making you happy, no matter how hard the day was. “I’m good, you?" he questions. “I’m okay, it just sucks a little, all this not-going-home thing. But at least I get the time to hang out with my favorite speedster.” you chuckle, Pietro joining. You make small talk, just usual things. Somehow you end on the couch and the next time you look at the clock, it’s already time for dinner. Today is Wanda’s turn to cook, and to say you are starving is an understatement. You couldn’t wait for her famous paprikash.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been a couple of days since the meeting and you and Peter just came back from school, to a very unusual scene. Before you, there are all the Avengers, looking at something on the big screen. You and Peter look at each other confused, as to what could leave them in such a state. As you get closer, you see what they’re all so interested in. It’s a show called Soy Luna and you burst out laughing, now all the attention focusing on you. “Y-you’re watch-watching Soy Lu-Luna?” you say through giggles, making some of them blush. “Well, as a matter of fact, it really sucks you in.” defends Natasha, receiving hums of agreement. “Sure, whatever you say.”

“On which episode are you?” Peter asks. “I think it’s season 3, episode 25,” answers Wanda. “Oh my god, I love this episode, scoot over,” you say to Bucky, gesturing for him to move. He moves a little to the right, making space between him and Wanda. You sit in the middle while Peter sits on the ground, besides Steve. “Morgan wanted to watch it, right?” you ask, a smirk still playing on your lips. “Yea.” Wanda sighs defeated, and your smile widens, just a little. Right as you were about to turn your attention to the screen, Morgan appears in front of your eyes. “Hey bubba, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be watching the series?” you question, your brows furrowed. “Yea, I just wanted to be with you!” she exclaims and turns around, sitting into your lap. “Awwww,” you whisper, overwhelmed with her cuteness. 10 minutes in, Morgan screams that your favorite song is coming. “Look Y/N, Matteo is about to perform your favorite song!”

“You’re right Morgan,” you say, trying to calm her down from her excited state. “Will you sing it? Pleaseee,” she demands, looking at you with puppy eyes. Oh, damn it, not her puppy eyes, you think, agreeing, because c’mon, who can say no to those pretty eyes of hers. “But only because you asked nicely,” you add, making Morgan smile. Soon enough, the first tunes of Quiero verte sonreir start to play. She looks at you expectantly, as do all the others. Right before you start singing you make eye contact with Pietro. 

“No lo puedo evitar,

yo no te dejo de pensar,

y las noches son frías si tú no estás.

No lo puedo entender,

como no te has dado cuenta...”

(I can’t help it, I can’t stop thinking about you, and the nights are cold, if you’re not here. I don’t understand, how you haven’t noticed...)

There’s something in his eyes, that makes you not look away, not wanting to look away. Finally, your stare breaks, as Morgan bumps you, wanting some attention. “...Pero tengo miedo de pensar,

que no te vayas enamorar...”

(...But I'm afraid to think, that you’re not going to fall in love...)

You bump her nose, making your heart feel loved, because you made your little sister happy, even if just for two minutes.

Your eyes are back on Pietro, decided to dedicate the chorus to him, even if he doesn’t understand you.

“... Quiero verte sonreír,

quiero verte junto a mí,

no puedo ya no quiero,

no es fácil ocultar mis miedos...”

(I want to see you smile, I want to see you next to me, I can’t take it anymore, I don’t want to, it's not easy to hide my fears...) 

But you forgot there’s someone else in the room, who speaks Spanish fluently. As the song comes to an end, you know what’s coming, so right when you finish with your singing, you quickly scream: “Someone cover Morgan’s eyes, she’s too innocent to see what’s coming.” as a joke, not expecting for Bucky to actually cover her eyes. “Oi, Barnes, I was kidding!” you say while laughing your ass off. You spend the rest of your afternoon with your team, binge-watching Soy Luna, completely falling into trance. The duty of cooking dinner falls on you and Peter, others still not turning their eyes away from the screen. You decided to cook Mac and cheese, the only thing you both actually know how to cook. “How long have you been into Pietro?” he suddenly asks, making you choke on your water. “Wh- what?” you struggle while coughing, Peter tapping you on your back, helping you to regain your breath again. “C’mon, you don’t have to pretend with me.” he smiles, reminding you just how of an awesome friend he is. “Is it that obvious?” you ask, looking at him like you just swallowed a spider. “No, but I notice these things, the way you look at him, the way your lips always form a smile, the second you lay eyes on him, the way you speak to him like you’re gonna melt any second. Besides, I speak Spanish, so that right there,” he gestures to the living room, “tells me enough.” he finishes with a light chuckle. “Shit, I forgot you understand Spanish,” you exclaim, joining him. “Soo, you like me?” you hear someone say, his thick accent lacing his voice, knowing who he was. “Fuck,” you whisper under your breath, slowly turning around. “How much have you heard?” you carefully ask, scrunching your nose and closing your eyes. “Enough,” he says, that adorably annoying smirk playing on his lips. “I’m gonna just slowly go, because, well, this is awkward.” Peter quickly exits the kitchen, making you angry at him for leaving. “Is it true?” you hear him say, and you focus your attention back on him. Oh, fuck it, you think before speaking “Yes, it is. But I know you don’t feel the same, so can we just pretend this didn’t happen, because I don’t want to make things akw-” he crashes his lips onto yours, guiding them into a sweet yet passionate kiss. His hands are on your waist, yours travelling up his body till you reach his hair, slowly playing with his blond curls. Cheers erupt from the door, making you look at them. And there they are, the whole team clapping and cheering, a “Finally! I couldn’t take the tension anymore!” escaping Wanda, making you chuckle. “I hate all of you, I swear to god,” you say, looking away from them and into those beautiful ocean eyes of his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @voidmalfoy @cunningambitousdetermined @crazy-beautiful @rorybutnotgilmore

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[bbhyeoliskooks]

ꉂ ‵̤๑♡ 𝐂𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 ♡๑‵̤ꉂ 

➶  TXT’s Reaction to Realizing They’re Falling in Love

‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’. ‵๑*’.;‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’. 

Genre: 5 cuppies of fluffies and three sprinkles of angst~!

Warnings: Nothing, but it’s a bit suggestive(?) for jjuniebug~

Song: Can’t Help Falling in Love 

(Yeah... guess who’s a clown for coming back after like 15 days of break when she’d said she’d come back in march 🗿🗿 we’re just gonna pretend that never happened, and shift to where i’ll post in a while?? thank you for being patient with me tho 🥺)

‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’. ‵๑*’.;‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’.

ꉂ ‵̤  Yeonjun ꉂ ‵̤

<3 You and Yeonjun had um... a rough night of frustration so you decided that even though you were friends, you could have a few benefits only the two of you knew about

<3 It had been a while of resting with each other after cleaning up with blankets covering the two of you as you giggled, telling stories

<3 This time you were being clingy instead of him, snuggling up to him while he fawned over how cute you were even if your hair was messy

<3 He was in the middle of telling the story when he stopped to appreciate how you were paying full attention to him and only to him for that matter

<3 Seeing how your sparkling eyes widened in the moonlight once he told you about how he fed the ducks in the pond with bread, he couldn’t help his new desire anymore

<3 Without warning, Yeonjun leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours

<3 The kiss lasted for a while >.< both of your hearts pounding against your chests quickly despite the other person not knowing anything

<3 You both pulled away at the same time, panting because of the loss of air once he captured his lips with yours 

<3 “How can someone’s lips be so soft,” he delicately whispered before cupping your cheek tenderly with his hand (ahh my poor heart, why am i doing this to myself eeee >3<)

<3 Even like this, you were so gorgeous to him and you made him smile so much that goodness, he can’t help but fall in love with the beautiful you. 

‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’. ‵๑*’.;‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’.

ꉂ ‵̤  Soobin ꉂ ‵̤

<3 Awwe late night drives with Soobders, let’s go~!

<3 It just peeked two am, the wee hour of the morning in which you obviously knew the two of you weren’t supposed to be out this late since classes started tomorrow

<3 How had it all started? Because both of you were still awake at one am for some reason, you decided to do an activity with him to make both of you sleepier

<3 It had been an adventure of driving Soobin to Mcdonalds first to get his ice cream like he asked, but then soon evolved into driving just because it was soothing

<3 Soobin was softly singing along to Magic Island, looking out the window while you thought internally how pretty his voice sounded 

<3 All of a sudden, he spoke up after thinking for a while, “If we ever grow apart, will all our late adventures be over?”

<3 You were confused as to why he asked the question nonetheless, but you found his worries endearing... what made him think that in the first place?

<3 He looked to see you with a soft smile decorating your face when you hadn’t answered while you pulled over just to answer him

<3 “Don’t worry, my Soobders~ There’ll be much more to come, and I promise we can do this as long as you’re with me and I’m with you til the end of time. You promise, too?” You asked before sticking up your pinky finger. 

<3 His heart- aghh he knows he can’t take this fluttering feeling much longer !! 

‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’. ‵๑*’.;‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’.

ꉂ ‵̤  Beomgyu ꉂ ‵̤

<3 Beomgyu knew he had a fever and guess what he did that made you as red as a tomato due to anger !

<3 He wasn’t taking care of himself and you had enough of it :cc

<3 It was after you fed him (literally) with a ton of chicken noodle soup that you decided to reprimand him once and for all

<3 “You’re so stupid for not resting when you’re sick, idiot! I told you so many times to stay home, but you didn’t listen. What could’ve happened when-”

<3 Instead of answering, he tugged on your arm to make sure you’d fall into his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist in order to bring you closer

<3 “I know and I’m sorry, but could we please just stay like this? I wanna hold you, please. You know that your hugs give me strength the most.”

<3 Seeing how you didn’t object to his affection, he sighed against your embrace while sighing in relief~

<3 Although you were still a bit angry at him for not thinking of himself, with no hesitation you held him back while humming his favorite song quietly to yourself 

<3 “Beomgyu, you know that I love you a lot, right? So please do me a favor and take care of yourself 🥺,” you cooed while mustering up the best puppy eyes you could do

<3 Seriously if you keep this up, he doesn’t know what he’ll do with that pounding heart in his chest

‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’. ‵๑*’.;‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’.

ꉂ ‵̤  Taehyun ꉂ ‵̤

<3 are you happy to be in paris- oui (ifykyk hehe)

<3 N E WAY, the teacher paired you up during this school trip to France for an assignment with the one and only Taehyunnie !

<3 You both easily completed it after thirty minutes, so for the rest of the time you had left, decided to scout a few trinkets and souvenirs for home~

<3 Along the way though, you finally found the Eiffel Tower and Taehyun awed at how pretty it was, pulling on your hand to get a closer look

<3 As if everything was going in slow motion, you heard La Vie En Rose echo from the back !

<3 You giggled at how the butterflies in your stomach fluttered as soon as the lights shone softly onto his warm face

<3 Taehyun held out his hand as if to say “care for this dance?” and you really couldn’t say no to that charming boy

<3 for this was a place containing the language of love after all~~

<3 The two of you stayed like that for a moment, dancing through the night while staring into each other’s gentle eyes

<3 He soon realized while holding you that you were the person he wanted to experienced new feelings with- and seeing your blinding smile grow whenever you were with him... it’s cheesy, but you two are definitely made for each other

‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’. ‵๑*’.;‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’.

ꉂ ‵̤  Kai ꉂ ‵̤

<3 It was a rainy day today :(( a bad rainy day today...

<3 At first, it was actually quite calming as you heard the famous piece “Clair de Lune” play from the distance~!

<3 But to add to the pile of misfortunes that occurred today from running late to classes to embarrassing yourself in front of everybody by loudly dropping both you and your books at the library, this was the most frustrating part since you forgot your umbrella when you left the house :cc 

<3 Just your luck, huh? You were sure you looked like a pathetic fool in front of everyone there

<3 You just started piano lessons a few weeks ago so when you compared yourself to others, seeing how well they played, especially Kai...

<3 You couldn’t help but tear up since you kept thinking you weren’t going to be as good enough as them no matter how much you tried

<3 The tears welling up in your eyes gave you enough courage to step out into the rain, but before you could...

<3 You felt someone slip his hand into yours, holding an umbrella which covered the two of you as long as you stayed close to him

<3 When you burst into tears as soon as you glanced up at Kai, he felt the need to protect and make you feel better to the best of his abilities by engulfing you in a tight hug

<3 Really, what’s wrong with him? He said he’s too young for love, but what was this warm and bouncing feeling in his chest when he let you cry on his shoulder?

‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’. ‵๑*’.;‵๑*’;.‵๑*’;. ‵๑*’.

Posted: 1/15/21- 3:00am (yes ik im up so late but what can you expect after i’ve taken like a four hour nap earlier)

Tags:

[coralstories]

You Have a Girlfriend?!

Spencer Reid x ocBianca Bennett

A/N: My last Spencer Reid fic was a little after he first met Bianca. This is set after they’ve been together for a while. 

A/N 2: I meant to post the Dia de los Muertos Hobbit fic, but my Halloween weekend was surprisingly busy, so that didn’t happen. Take this one as consolation!

Word count: 2725 (wow, that’s a lot)

“What do we got?”

“The sheriff in San Francisco contacted me about a possible serial killer. Here are the files.”

“Thanks, JJ.”

Agent Aaron Hotchner’s team were gathered in the conference room. JJ, Agent Jareau, had called them in early to brief them on a possible case. They all agreed that it was something they should look into. Then Agent Jareau noticed something.

“Guys, do any of you know where Reid is?” she asked, not having heard his input in the past five minutes.

They all shook their heads.

“Maybe he didn’t get your text,” Morgan offered. 

“Call him, but tell him we’re leaving in 30,” Hotch said.  

With that, the rest of them dispersed. Morgan held back JJ and Agent Prentiss.  

“Listen, why don’t we just go and pick up Reid? JJ, you said he gave you keys, right?”

“Oh, he did?” Agent Prentiss asked.

“Yeah, after we named him godfather,” JJ responded with a smile.

“That’s sweet.”

“Yeah.” JJ considered Morgan’s proposal. “Alright, let’s go.”

They beat traffic and got to Agent Reid’s apartment fairly quickly. He wasn’t answering calls. JJ knocked, but when there was no answer, they all silently agreed to go in. JJ unlocked the door while the others kept a hand on their weapons out of habit. They entered cautiously.

“Reid?” JJ called out.

“He must have left by now,” Prentiss said in a reasonable tone.

“The shower’s on,” Morgan pointed out.

“And is that… a woman singing?” JJ said.

They all moved slowly toward the back of the apartment. They heard the water shutoff, and then a woman walked out, still humming. She had a towel wrapped around herself, tucked under her arms, and her hair was wet. She made her way to the fridge and dug around for a moment. She turned, leaned on the island, and started peeling an orange.

“Did you forget something?” she asked.

All three agents froze in surprise. She wasn’t looking at them, her gaze was on her hands, but there was no one else in the room.

“Um, who are you?” Morgan asked.

“And what are you doing in Reid’s apartment?” Prentiss added.

The woman stopped her movements and lifted her head. 

“Well, shit. None of you are Spencer,” she said.

This confused the agents even more. 

“Do I look like Dr. Spencer Reid?” Morgan asked sarcastically. 

“Well I wouldn’t know, but none of you sound like him.”

There was a pause as they all realized something; she was blind. 

“That was a joke, guys,” the woman said. She put a piece of orange in her mouth. “Lighten up.”

“You still haven’t told us who you are,” Prentiss said.

“Spencer hasn’t told you about me?”

“No,” all the agents said at once. 

“Of course he hasn’t,” she sighed. “I’m Bianca Bennett.” 

She extended her hand, which all of them automatically stepped forward to shake.  

“Spencer calling,” an automated voice said.

The woman, Bianca, reached across the counter to grab the phone and accepted the call on speaker.

“Hey, Spencer,” Bianca answered. “What did you forget?”

“Hey, Bee,” Spencer said.

His coworkers lifted their eyebrows.

“I forgot my jacket, do you think you’ll have time to drop it off?” Spencer continued.

“You’re lucky I have the morning off,” Bianca said with a smile.

“I don’t know about lucky, but it was definitely—“

“And—,” Bianca interrupted loudly— “you’re lucky some of your coworkers are here. I’ll give it to them and they’ll meet you, yeah?”

“What? Who’s there? It’s JJ, isn’t it?”

“Her and Prentiss and Morgan. I think. And I think they were about ready to shoot me.”

Spencer sighed. “I’m really sorry about that, all of you. I’m guessing I’m on speaker, right?”

“You have inferred correctly, sir,” Bianca said.

“Okay, I promise I’ll explain later, guys. For now, can you just grab my jacket and I’ll meet you at the office, please?”

“Actually, we were just swinging by to pick you up. We got called in early on a case,” Prentiss explained.

“Alright, then I’ll meet you on the plane and get briefed there. I’ve got to go, guys, I’m on the subway, I’m—“

The connection was lost. Bianca turned off the phone and turned back to the agents.

“Reception is spotty on the subway. Let me get his jacket,” Bianca said.

She walked out of the room, and the agents immediately started murmuring to each other.

“Since when does Reid have a girlfriend?”

“And she is blind, right?”

“She’s pretty.”

“I wonder if she’s a genius like him.”

Bianca walked into the living room and held out Reid’s jacket.

“We’ve been dating for about a year now,” she said, answering the questions they asked each other. “Yes, I really am blind. Thank you, and no, I am definitely not a genius.”

All the agents averted their eyes and flushed in embarrassment. Prentiss took the jacket with an apologetic smile.

“Thin walls,” Bianca said. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Anyways, you should go. Don’t want to miss your plane. You’ve got to catch some killers, right?”

“Right,” Prentiss said. “Well, um…“

“It was nice meeting you,” JJ said.

“Yeah, you too.” Bianca shook their hands again.

They left and attacked Reid with incessant questions once they were all on the plane. Reid glanced at Hotch and Rossi fearfully. He shushed them and mouthed, ‘Later'. Hotch and Rossi noticed. They only exchanged exasperated glances and ignored the other agents.

The case went by fairly quickly and easily; the team considered themselves lucky. The night before they returned to Quantico, they cornered Reid in his hotel room.

“Okay, spill,” JJ demanded. “How did you even meet her? She doesn’t work with us.”

“That’s because she’s not an FBI agent at all,” Reid said. “She’s a high school teacher.”

“You’re dating a schoolteacher?” Morgan said incredulously.

“Yes. I have enjoyed our privacy so far, so if you guys could—“

“It’s okay, Reid, it’s not like I can judge,” JJ said. “I kept my relationship with Will a secret for about a year, right?”

The other three exchanged telling looks.

“JJ, we all knew,” Reid said.

“What?”

“No, hold on, I’m not gonna let him turn this around,” Morgan said, cutting JJ off from saying anything further.

“And I’m not going to let you all interrogate me or her about our private, personal life,” Reid countered.

“We just want to know who she is,” Prentiss said.

“And why you’ve been hiding her from us,” Morgan said.

“Well, I told you. Her name is Bianca Bennett and she’s a school teacher. And I haven’t been hiding her from you, you all just assumed I wasn't dating anyone.”

No one said anything for a moment after that. They couldn’t deny it. The possibility never entered their minds that Spencer Reid may be seeing someone.

“Where did you guys meet?” JJ asked, breaking the silence.

Reid gave her a warning look, perhaps trying to determine her intentions.

“She came up to me in the park to ask for advice about one of her students. She had heard me give a lecture before and knew my background,” Reid explained.

“What do you mean, she wanted help with one of her students? Isn’t it her job to teach kids?”

“Yeah, but this student was different.”

“Was that the day you left early?” Prentiss asked.

Reid nodded. “Yup. It still took about seven meetings before she asked me out, though.”

“She asked you out? Oh come on, Reid,” Morgan said.

“It took you guys that long?”

“Well, she was waiting for me to ask her out, but I was completely oblivious. Even her student, the one I was mentoring, and his aunt picked up on it. I liked her, obviously, but I guess I just never thought she would agree to a date. She’s just amazing.”

“Aw. I’m happy for you, Spence,” JJ said, patting the younger man on the back.  

“Yeah, it’s about time, man.”

“She’s okay with you being gone for long periods of time like this?” Prentiss asked.

Reid glanced at each of them before answering.

“She would prefer I wasn’t, obviously, but she knows this job is important to me. Besides, it’s not like we have a kid or anything.”

They were all quiet as they thought about their coworker, Hotch. Finally, Prentiss, Morgan, and JJ stood.

“We should get going. We have to be up early for our flight tomorrow,” Prentiss said.

“Yeah, we’ll let you get some sleep,” Morgan said.

“Ask Bianca if it would be okay to ask her to lunch,” JJ said. “I want to get to know her since she’s your girlfriend and all.”

“Okay, I’ll text her in a bit. Goodnight, guys.”

The next morning, they left early for their six-hour flight and got back to Quantico around noon. They went straight to the office to start on reports. Reid was telling his team members about the history of San Francisco as they rode the elevator.

“You know, what’s interesting is that San Francisco was called the “city of sin” long before Las Vegas. The city was rife with prostitution and opium dens as an outlet for the gold rushers who flocked to the city at the time. At first, there wasn’t much law and order to the city and it was run by vigilante groups who would hang anyone who committed a crime.”

Prentiss and Morgan exchanged a glance, but they didn’t try to cut him off yet.

“Then, when they started an actual police force, even those policemen were corrupt and accepted bribes from the madams and drug dealers to turn the other cheek. That all changed after the 1906 earthquake and fire, though. After that, the city’s inhabitants become of a reform-minded mood and when they were rebuilding, they--”

The elevator arrived at their floor, and they stepped out quickly.

“--decided that they would build more respectable businesses, especially on Morton Street, where most of the--”

“Reid, so, how long have you and Bianca been living together?” Prentiss asked.  

“Not long. We actually go between her place and mine. We’re usually at her apartment on the weekends.”

Reid’s phone rang.

“Hello?” Reid answered. “What? Are you okay?”

The note of fear in his voice caught the others’ attention.

“Okay. I’m on my way, and I’m going to send some police officers as well, okay? I’ll see you soon.” He hung up and started gathering his things while he dialed another number.

“What’s going on?” Prentiss asked.

“Someone broke into Bianca’s apartment and attacked her,” Reid explained.

“Oh my god,” Prentiss said. “I’ll tell Hotch what’s going on.”

“I’ll drive you,” Morgan said.

“Hey Garcia,” Reid said into the phone. “I need you to dispatch the closest patrol car to Bianca’s apartment. … Everything’s fine for now, but I need you to hurry, okay?… There was a break-in, I’ve got to go.”

He hung up. Morgan followed him with the keys to one of the SUVs. They ran the siren. Morgan followed Reid’s directions and got to Bianca’s apartment in record time. When they got out they saw that there was a police car on the sidewalk. Reid took the stairs two at a time, and Morgan followed close behind. As they neared Reid’s door, they heard Bianca’s voice.

“I’m okay, please stop touching me,” she said.

Reid and Morgan burst into the room to find it a mess. Items were strewn along the floor, the refrigerator was open, a dish was shattered, the coffee table was on its side, and the TV was on the floor near the door. There was one police officer kneeling on a man and putting handcuffs on him. The officer’s partner was attempting to comfort Bianca. He had his hands on her shoulders, ignoring her attempts to shake him off and her stiff posture. Reid barreled through the room toward them, while Morgan kept close to the arresting officer in case he needed help.

“Bianca, are you alright?” Reid asked. “Hands off my girlfriend, she doesn’t like strangers touching her,” he snapped at the police officer.

The man put his hands up in surrender, eyes wide. Reid took Bianca’s hand and led her to the couch, making her sit.

“I’m fine, Spencer. He just surprised me is all,” Bianca said.

The officers stood up with the offender.

“Did she tell you what happened?” Morgan asked them.

“Just that he was here when she came in, and almost knocked her out,” one of them said. “Your boy’s got a good girl there. When we came in she was standing over this loser with her stick pointed at his throat.”

“It’s a cane,” Reid corrected at the same time the would-be thief started shouting.

“She threatened me!” the offender whined. “She said if I moved—“

“Shut the hell up, man,” Morgan said. “It was self-defense. I’d have kicked your ass.”

The officers took him away. Morgan went over to where Reid and Bianca were sitting on the couch. He noticed how Bianca seemed to be melting into Reid.  

“Bianca, I think you should go to the hospital,” Morgan said gently.

“What? Why?” Reid asked.

He took Bianca’s face in his hands and examined her. She winced. Her bottom lip trembled and she kept looking up; it looked like she was trying not to cry.

“You said he tried to knock you out?” Morgan prompted.

“Yeah, he tried to hit me with the vase.”

Reid pushed her hair back to reveal a cut on her ear and neck.

“Bianca!” Reid exclaimed.

Bianca touched one hand to her ear. When she pulled it away, her fingertips were sticky with blood.

“I thought it was the water,” Bianca murmured. "From the vase."

Morgan leaned down to examine her. “It doesn’t look that deep,” he said. “But we should still get you checked out. Want me to drive?”

“O-okay,” Bianca said.

“Thank you,” Reid said.

Reid helped Bianca up and to the door, where Morgan offered to carry her down the stairs.

“Thanks, but I can walk,” Bianca replied stubbornly.

She managed it by leaning heavily on the railing and keeping one hand intertwined with Spencer’s. The ride to the hospital was silent, broken only by Morgan and Reid’s cell phones vibrating. Morgan glanced down and saw that it was a group text from Penelope, telling them all that Hotch wants them to meet in the BAU conference room. Morgan looked in the rearview mirror and saw Reid frowning down at his phone, presumably at the same text.

“Spencer, what’s wrong?” Bianca asked.

“What? Nothing,” Reid said.

Bianca’s lips curved up into a smirk. “Now I really know there’s something up.”

Morgan’s eyebrows rose at her keen perception. Bianca, who had been leaning on Reid’s shoulder, suddenly sat up straighter.

“If you need to go back to work, it’s okay,” Bianca said softly.

Reid met Morgan’s eyes in the mirror, the problem clear in his eyes. Reid shook his head.

“No,” he said. “I can’t leave you.”

“But… I have friends I can call. If it’s important--”

Reid’s phone buzzed again. It lit up to reveal a text from Hotch: he was aware of the situation and Reid did not have to come in until it was resolved. Reid sighed in relief and put his arm around Bianca, nudging her so that her head was on his shoulder again.

“Nothing’s more important than you,” he said in her ear.

It was too quiet for Morgan to hear, but the small, shy smile that graced Bianca’s features was enough to let him know of his friend’s plans.

“We just came back from a case, so we probably don’t have to leave again,” Morgan said. “Hotch probably just wants us to go over reports. I can cover for you, man.”

Reid smiled slightly and gave a tight nod. “Thanks.”

“Aaron Hotchner?” Bianca said. She smiled up at Reid. “I want to meet the rest of your team now.”

“Well, maybe we can arrange that for another day,” Reid said.

“Oh, really? I was thinking we could invite them all to the emergency room,” Bianca deadpanned.

It took both men a moment to realize that she was being sarcastic. Reid laughed and buried his face in her hair, and began whispering something else to her. Morgan chuckled and shook his head. He was beginning to like Reid’s girlfriend.

[lovelivingmydreams]

Wrong door

I watched the latest Sanders Sides video and I have feelings that I need to write about. So here a little one shot.

OBVIOUSLY SPOILER WARNING FOR SANDERS SIDES

Summary: When Roman leaves he doesn’t go to his room straight away. Maybe his turbulent mind sought this place out to fit his mood. Maybe deep down he knew that there was only one person who could help him understand what he did wrong.

The conversation leads to discussions and remenicing of their past, why the King ever split, why Virgil left to the ‘dark side’ to begin with and the reason Virgil doesn’t trust Deciet despite living with him and the others for years.

After Roman sunk out he appeared in a much darker environment than he expected. His room was always bright and colorful, packed with Disney memorabilia, red drapes and stage lighting. The gloomy atmosphere he was faced with now made his already fragile self-esteem crumble even more. Was this because deceit... Janice, was right about him? Was he really not the hero? But Paton always said... ‘The brave, handsome, unbeatable Roman,’ But then again... ‘I don’t always know the answer,’ He felt his chest tighten. It was harder to breathe. No. He... He isn’t bad. He only ever wanted to help Thomas. He was trying to do the right thing... But so was Patton. And De... Janice, of all people had been protecting Thomas from him when he lost it... “Ro? What happened?” Roman’s head snapped up. Virgil what... Then he realized where he was. The Tim Burton poster behind him, he cobwebs the dark atmosphere. This was Virgil’s room... He came here instead of his own... Why? “Is Thomas mad at me?” the younger side asked nervously. “I could tell he felt really stressed just now, I tried to leave him be after the whole wedding... I’m sorry, I know I panicked when Mary Lee and Lee came over, but...” Roman raised his hands to calm Virgil down. Today had been terrible for everyone. But their purple patched cautious guardian was probably the only one who would’ve had an equally horrible time no matter what they had done today. The callback would’ve been hell because so much was riding on it. The wedding was horrible because, well… mandatory social interaction, and Virgil had been particularly terrified of saying the wrong thing to their friends. What if they realize we aren’t having a good time? What if they think we look dumb in this suit? What if they realize it’s a rental and think we don’t care? Virgil took a few deep breaths and nodded. “I’m really sorry. I know how important today was to you, and I made us blow it,” he sighed. Roman shook his head. “No one is mad at you Virgil. That’s not what Patton and I were talking about... I wish you’d joined though,” he sighed, raking his hand through his hair. His nervous energy intensifying with every minute. But was that because of the room or because of his own thoughts? Probably both. “...Ro. Maybe we should head to your room instead?” Virgil offered gently. It wasn’t quite like him to sound so sincerely worried. They usually communicated their affection to one another through sarcasm and mild jabs. But ever since Remus made an appearance Virgil hadn’t been his usual self in general. He’d been more withdrawn, more careful with what he said. Not less active in his contributions, but Roman had seen his angsty friend less around the mindscape almost like when he wasn’t part of the group. As their friendship grew, they’d taken to having Disney nights in his room where they’d discuss the movies and Virgil even tolerated Roman singing along to the songs at full volume. But recently... He probably should have popped in here before now instead of ‘giving him space’. Was that even really what he’d been doing? Or was he just too much of a coward to face him and possibly have to own up for his past mistakes? He really was a  terrible friend. So egotistical. Why couldn’t he ever consider other’s feelings? He’d tried today, really had tried not to hurt Patton’s feelings while discussing doing the right thing. Tried not to push. Tried to really listen to what he had to say so he wouldn’t make any more mistakes. He’d been ready to swallow his pride and take a step back when it seemed like Patton was too busy with not hurting his ego to really do his job . And it was still not enough The aching in his chest intensified. Right, not the place for these thoughts. Roman looked at Virgil gratefully and nodded. He could use some time with his newest friend. Virgil was good. Helpful. A team player from the start He’d never pretended to be his friend when he was not. And even when they hated each other -though hate was a strong word for the aversion he used to have for the embodiment of anxiety- Virgil had made performances better, more exciting,  even inspired him to create. How things had changed since the fanders first met him. “Alright, breathe with me, and let’s go,” he instructed. Roman focused on the other side’s breathing and before he knew it they were in his room. With the familiar lavish decor, the countless posters and trinkets... But it all looked a little... off. It was not ready for a guest, and he was always ready for guests. There were decorative couch cushions on the floor, some of the red velvet drapes were askew and the whole room felt just a little wrong to him. Imagine coming home and someone had entered and pushed nearly everything a touch to the left. Nearly imperceptible, but enough for you to know something is wrong. Great even his own room couldn’t give him comfort now. He let out a sigh, not his usual dramatic sigh, just a plain old tired sigh, and sat down on the couch with his head in his hands. “Ro? What happened?” Virgil asked confused. “I know something really got everyone upset. Even pops felt... Unusually distraught. I stayed in my room to not make it worse. But Thomas seems okay now. So why aren’t you... You know? Tatata,” Virgil finished with a week imitation of triumphant trumpets and Roman’s usual introduction pose. It made the embodiment of creativity smirk despite himself and then he sighed again. “Janice happened,” he muttered defeated, feeling completely spent. “Janice... You mean Janus? Deceit? He... He told you?” Virgil muttered confused. “Janus?” Roman mused. “That makes slightly more sense,” he allowed before leaning back and letting his head rest against the wall. Whatever, he still thought it was a weird name. Janus... He’s never going to get used to that. Maybe he should stop reading fan speculations on them though. Perhaps if he hadn’t been thinking of Deceit as Damien this whole time he wouldn’t have had such a strong reaction to Janus. Not that he wouldn’t have teased him. He absolutely would. He’d been upset at the serpentine side as it was. He’d been about ready to snap the whole time and the frog thing happened and D, Janus showed up and he didn’t know how to feel or what to think. So, yes he lashed out. He tried to get a little control over the situation because he couldn’t deal with one more thing tilting his worldview. And then... He felt the couch shift under an added weight. Right, Virgil is here with him. He glanced aside. Virgil was sitting on the armrest, looking at him expectantly. He normally would protest against Virgil putting his shoes on the couch, but right now he couldn’t care less. His friend needed a summary. “He... replaced Logan again and pushed Patton into being a frog monster. Accused Patton of deceiving Thomas, on accident, but still, and then he... Convinced Patton and Thomas to like him.” he summarized. Creating a monster to fight so he could be the hero. How absolutely despicable. “... Wait back up... Logan, is Logan alright?” “Physically or emotionally?” Roman asked dryly. Because apparently Thomas and Patton forgot that Janus hurt others. Hurt Thomas, hurt Patton, Virgil and Logan. And yes, Roman too felt hurt by the snake. Remus might be the only side not hurt by him and that was because Remus lacked the attention span to be upset at anything. He envied that sometimes. The ability to not care at all. Suddenly there was knocking on Roman’s door. “Roman? You in there sport? I brought hot coco?” It was Patton. Roman grabbed one of the fallen cushions, put it between his stomach and his legs, which he pulled towards his chest and curled up in a ball. He didn’t want to talk to him right now. After a moment of silence he heard Virgil get up, walk away and then he heard the door open. “He’s taking a nap. Seems really out for the count. I was going to check up on Logan next, but could you do that? You know how emotional roller coasters like today take it out of me. Besides, I think Lo would much rather hear from you anyway. I’m going to nap in here. My room is a bit too much for me right now you know?” “Oh, of course Kiddo! You take it easy. I’m going to need to talk to you about something though...” “How you’ve left Janus of all people in charge of Thomas’s post learning moment aftercare? Yeah, Roman gave me the headlines. I trust your judgment Patton. But I don’t trust Jan. Not for a second. He’d never hurt Thomas on purpose, i know that, none of us would. Thomas isn’t self-destructive by nature. The problem is, I’m not sure if he’s ready to see that he can hurt him on accident.” It was quiet for a minute. “I think I know what that’s like... I’m really sorry kiddo. I know that I’ve been the cause of a lot of your pain too,” their paternal side offered softly. Silence. Roman imagined that Virgil was speechless by that declaration. That was Janus’s great power. He’d gotten Patton to think that he was the bad guy. Patton! “I remember when Thomas was still young and you just started to really manifest. Before... Before we pushed you away as a bad thing. You’d hang onto me and panic whenever I got nervous about Thomas doing a wrong thing, thinking a bad thought... I did that to you. Because I was too strict and I was teaching you to think in black and white too. And when we pushed you away... Of course you thought you had to be the bad guy to do your job. I taught you that. And I hate it. I wish I could go back. Go back and hug little you and me and say that it’s okay. But I can’t. I just hope that you’ll believe me when I say... I’m really sorry and I’ll try to be better.” A few more moments of silence. “Pops... you aren’t entirely to blame for me believing I was bad. Janus, has just as much to do with that, if not more.” Roman forced himself to stay where he was. He knew it! He knew there was a reason Virgil reacted to the others like that. He should’ve listened to him. Asked about his history before. The whole callback situation wouldn’t have been such a stressful episode if he had just heard Virgil out. “What do you mean kiddo?” “The thing about him is, he deals in extremes. Today you might have seen him in a sincere and nurturing mood, but we have all seen how deceitful and destructive and manipulative he can be,” Virgil explained gently. Mindful of a sleeping friend who wasn’t really asleep.  “You saw what that behavior did to Roman, even if he didn’t mean to hurt him.” Roman felt a jolt of warmth at the protective edge that coated Virgil’s voice at that statement. Oh, how had he been so wrong about him? All this time he could’ve had a valiant knight at his side. “One moment he looks at you and sees a friend a brother... A son.” That nearly made Roman jump up again. Janus had hurt Virgil, that was the only explanation for the way his voice softened at that last title. He’d slay the demon. They’d already established that nothing they did could do physical damage to the others as long as they didn’t let it have power over them. Janus, who’d been wrangling Remus for years, would surely not blink an eye at being run through, or beheaded. So it wouldn’t be that bad if he and Virgil got a few therapeutic stabs in for their benefit... but for now he forced himself to remain silent. He’d talk to Virgil about the best way to avenge him later. After Patton left them alone. “The next, you are a pawn to be manipulated in any way that suits what he thinks to be the greater good in that moment. And when he speaks you never know for certain if it’s a painful truth you need to hear to become better, stronger, or a hurtful lie to make you suit his needs.” ‘I don’t need to flatter you’... ‘Who is the evil twin’ Virgil took in a long breath and let it out with a sigh. “It’s a long story, and you should really go get Logan hot coco just the way he likes it. He deserves some patented Patton love as well.” “Alright kiddo. Thanks for being honest with me. I hope you’ll tell us all the story later so we can understand. But take your time. And thank you for trying to spare my feelings by not telling me that Roman isn’t ready for a talk yet.” Well, there went that illusion. “You two rest up. Take care of him for me, and tell him... Tell him I’m sorry I let him down.” Again Roman nearly went for the door. But he wasn’t ready. With the way he was feeling now, he’d lash out again and he didn’t know for sure who would have to face the brunt of his emotional outbursts. “I’m sure he’d say that you did nothing of the sort. Don’t let Janus get into your head too much. Ugly truths and painful lies Patton. Don’t fall for the latter just because he gave you a little of the former,” Virgil warned. “I’ll keep that in mind. Good night then. Thomas should be taking a day or two to relax and take care of himself so you should get plenty of time to recover,” Patton assured Virgil. “Night, see you in a minute when something goes wrong anyway.” Roman could hear Patton chuckle before the door closed. He expected Virgil to come back to sit where he sat before right away, but he heard him moving around the room and then the kitchen... What was going on? Suddenly he felt a blanket being draped over him, pillows being put all around and Virgil’s warm body joining his under the blanket. “You tell anyone about this, I’ll deny it until the end times. But pillows and blankets help me feel safer sometimes. And you know, Logan told me once that physical contact with a friend can be calming or whatever I didn’t really listen to the whole thing, you know how he kind of goes on. But I wrote down the gist of his tips. And then there is the always reliable, comfort food,” he announced as he gave Roman a fresh cup of hot coco with little marshmallows and rainbow sprinkles and whipped cream. What had Roman nearly tear up was that it was in his mug. One with a little Stitch figure that said “Ohana Means Family”. Not one of Patton’s pet themed mugs. His own. Virgil had made him this from scratch. Exactly the way he’d like it when he’s feeling down. He heard a clank and saw that Virgil had also put down a can of rainbow mini muffins. He kept those around to have as a treat on good and bad days. They had a delicious molten chocolate filling. When had Virgil even see him take one? It didn’t matter. This was everything he needed to get through the story he would have to tell, and the one he had to hear. “So, spill,” Virgil instructed as he laid a hand on his back in support. With a deep breath Roman told him everything as he’d experienced it from the moment he’d gotten home until the moment he’d popped up in Virgil’s room. By the end he was sobbing. The mug of hot coco was halfway, but stood on the coffee table as he was busy ruining Virgil’s hoodie with his tears. Damn all of this. He was too tired to hang on to his pride. Virgil didn’t make fun of him though he let him cry and listened to his exclamations of: “I just don’t understand what I did wrong? Why... Why am I the bad guy in this? Didn’t I do the right thing? Going to the wedding? I just... I just wanted to do the right thing. Thomas counted on me to give him hope. To rise above the challenge and defy that serpent’s scheme despite the odds. But other than a brief feeling of victory... I’ve never felt worse. I mean, Remus got the better of me for the first time in ages. It’s not right! Why do I feel like I’m being punished for doing what we knew was right, while Janus is being celebrated? Janus was wrong... Wasn’t he?” He’s glad Virgil is the only witness to this breakdown. If Patton saw this, he would blame himself. And Logan might try to help but have not much helpful to offer, other than an objective analysis or an experiment that might nudge Roman in the right direction, but he was in no mood to dissect any complicated explanations. Remus would make him feel worse, same goes for Janus, even if he were to try and be helpful it would only confuse Roman even more. And then there was... Well, he never was much help when it comes to solving problems. There was a reason why he hadn’t joined them in the physical world for any of their discussions. And Thomas... God he’d never regain Thomas’s respect if he’d see him like this. “You did good Ro. But we all knew that we felt conflicted about it when we left the door. We’re all on edge and from the sound of it, you weren’t at fault in the escalation of the conflict. Patton is the one who wasn’t honest with himself out of fear to disappoint Thomas. And Janus was the one to push him to the edge. And it was Janus who’d hurt you in the past and didn’t bother to apologize or acknowledge it had even happened. Of course you were on edge around him. But that’s just how he is,” Vigil sighed as he rubbed Roman’s back soothingly. That reminded Roman... He sat up and wiped his eyes. “What happened? You said that Janus was a big part of the reason you thought you were bad or something?” Roman asked picking up his mug to give himself something to focus on other than the soul bearing moment they’d shared. Virgil sighed and looked up to the swirling lines that decorated his ceiling. “Right. Remember the last time I had one of my fits before I started hanging with the others?” Roman nodded. He didn’t like thinking back to that time. He and Remus hadn’t been separated for that long yet and there were times when he still felt wrong without him. And in those moments he blamed Virgil, then still just fear. He remembered little of being ‘The King’, didn’t even really recall their old name, but one of the things he did remember was the split. He was thinking of something he thought was funny, something with a word mom would scold them for, but that made it even funnier. Patton had scolded him and something about the reprimand had triggered Fear. Ironically, seeing Fear in distress like that had triggered a protective instinct in the king and he’d been so eager to comfort the boy. He’d been torn. Part of him wanted to defy Patton and tell Fear that Thomas wouldn’t get in trouble for a small thing like that. The other wanted to promise to never think of anything upsetting ever again so the little timid boy could relax a little and play with them. Next thing he knew one part was promising these things while hugging Virgil and another was giggling and running around shouting all kinds of strange and bad things and letting his train of thought jump from one topic to another as random things kept catching his attention. Virgil had always been the inspiration for the noble prince. For his first act had been to protect the confused boy from the source of his troubles. He’d called for his princely attire to resemble the prince in Cinderella and swung his sword, then still a harmless toy sword, and Remus had actually enjoyed playing a ferocious dragon. And Virgil had laughed at their game and relaxed. Roman and Remus never questioned their existence... But Patton and Logan had been surprised and Patton had soon come to understand that all the things he would scold the king for were stuck in the green twin, while all the nice thoughts were with the red one, who introduced himself as Roman to them. Roman received praise and watched his brother get scolded and eventually ‘the snake man’ had come to pick is brother up from their room. Roman had pleaded not to of course, as any decent brother would. But then the snake man said something that terrified him. Thomas didn’t want his brother’s thoughts in his head. So the snake man took his brother somewhere where Thomas could pretend he didn’t exist. And he’d forced Roman to stand still and let Thomas forget about the other creativity. He couldn’t even mention him again. Not when Thomas might hear at least. That had scared Roman. When he told Patton about where his brother was taken he’d been assured that something like that would never happen to him. Thomas loved being creative. Roman was the hero. He got to be at the wheel almost all the time. He was the Prince after all... It had been comforting and terrifying at the same time. What if he messed up? Would Thomas stop loving him? It was then that the feeling of wrongness started showing up. And that scared him even more. He couldn’t miss being with Remus. Remus was bad, Roman was good. And good people didn’t want to be around bad people. Bad people were put away and forgotten about. It was while he was in one of these moments of self-doubt that Fear panicked at something he considered irrelevant. It had gotten to Roman and he’d blown up at Fear for freaking out over a stupid stain. This had triggered Virgil even more and Thomas had jumped back and knocked over one of the nice glasses from the counter somehow. His mother had been angry, but in that worried way only parents can really pull off. This however had gotten Patton and Logan’s attention. Logan had scolded Fear because his disproportionate reaction to a small problem created a bigger one. Patton had scolded him because Thomas was in trouble now and it was their task to keep him out of trouble. Roman had wanted to tell the others that Fear had reacted to him shouting, not the stain, but the others were already telling Fear that if he didn’t watch out, he would be pushed away and then what would happen to Thomas? This had caused Fear to run away and next time Roman saw him, he was ‘a bad guy’. “I never really said i was sorry. I swear I wanted to explain to the others why you freaked, I did, but next time we saw you...” He didn’t know where to look. He felt so ashamed of his actions. Virgil patted his back. “It’s alright Sir Singalot,” he grinned, using the nickname that Roman had approved off as a sign of peace. “You guys didn’t push me away. That’s just how you see it now through a veil of guilt. I never intended to leave. I needed to get away for a minute,” Virgil explained casually, but then his voice grew tense as his eyes darkened at the memory.

“And he was right there,” he whispered and Roman could imagine the figure swooping in. Offering an insecure and neglected side a comforting embrace. “He was telling me both the things I feared to be true and things I wanted to hear someone say.”

He could imagine that too. The smooth voice spinning truths and lies in a delicate trap to lure young Fear to his side of the consciousness.

“He told me that you guys would never really want me around. But he also said that that was stupid of you because I keep Thomas safe. That you needed me more than you realize. And if you weren’t going to listen to simple reason, then I’d have to be loud so I couldn’t be ignored.” Virgil looked back towards Roman for with a sad, understanding smile.

“He might have believed he was helping me. That he was saving me many more of these arguments. He’ll probably swear up and down that he was looking out for me and Thomas and even all of you.” Roman got the idea that Virgil was trying to say something about Janus’ intentions towards him as well. But he couldn’t find the will to believe that the man hadn’t been malicious towards him or even any of the others when he did the things he did. Good intentions or not –like with the cake the end result was still the same. Virgil seemed to agree, because his face darkened again as he continued his story. 

“But when he found me after you guys accepted me, he started saying those things again and I said he was wrong and that we’d all been going about it the wrong way. I wanted us all to step into the sun...”

“Dear Evan Hansen,”  Roman grinned teasingly to lighten the mood. He got a playful shove and a smirk. He’d take the victory. It kind of made him feel better. To know that he could still be a good friend despite the disaster of today.

“He slipped,” Virgil continued. “Or maybe he thought I’d feel bad for him and stay... I don’t know. He broke my trust and I’ll never be able to be sure if he’s truthful with me... But that day, he said he wouldn’t let you guys take me away from him.” Roman’s eyes widened as the implications of that sunk in. He wasn’t sure if he felt sorry for the man or wanted to punch him even more.

“I realized in that moment that he had manipulated the truth to ensure that I wouldn’t get along with you guys. He was lonely and he didn’t want to share. So he took of the blindfold and broke the piñata open to get the friend he wanted. And for years, that worked. But then, because Thomas accepted that he has anxiety, I got a real seat at the table, even if no one liked me being there. And then we worked together in the open more often and well... You know what happened. He hated that I spent time with you guys. He hated that I had nice things to say about Patton, that I kind of appreciated the debate with Logan... That I admired your... drive.”

“Wait what?” Roman shot up in surprise, nearly losing the cover of the blanket in the process. He hadn’t expected a sincere complement. He’d been ready for a little jab like ‘tolerated your presence’ or something. Not admiration...

“Don’t make me regret this... I always kind of looked up to you. Because you were never afraid to go for what you want. I don’t envy that ability. But I think it’s cool that you can.”

Roman was speechless. It succeeded in making him feel a bit better, but it also left him in awe of his friend. This is why he appreciated Virgil so much. He was sincere. Always. He didn’t sugarcoat anything he said what he thought the way he thought it. He might have learned to voice his concerns more clearly and less like death threats, but he still said what was on his mind. So a complement like this form him? Well, that was the highest praise he could imagine.

“Anyway...” Virgil continued with a blush, avoiding Roman’s gaze. “Feeding your ego aside.” He took a deep breath which brought Roman back to the here and now. Right serious talk time.

“The fight got ugly. I accused him of lying to me all this time for selfish reasons. He denied the reasons I gave, but not the fact that he lied. I got so mad. I told him to stay away from us. That I never wanted to see his face again. And I’ve been pissed ever since. I didn’t want you guys anywhere near him, because I can’t be sure that he won’t hurt you the way he hurt me, whether he wants to or not. And I was right. He hurt you, he hurt Patton and Logan and even Thomas. It all led to a big lesson about self-care and everything. But I agree, we can’t let our guard down around him. Ever.”

Roman hugs Virgil close. “Want me to stab him for you? Because I would totally stab him for you,” he promises.

Virgil allows a small chuckle and returns the hug. “I’ll think about it.”

Just then their surroundings changed and they were sitting on the bed in the bedroom. “Thomas must be getting ready for the night,” Roman observed, some rest would be great. Dreams took care of themselves. He could chose to influence them but tonight he couldn’t be bothered. Remus might give them some weird twists but who cared? At this rate, they’d also let him have a seat at the table one of these days so he might as well start getting used to having him around again. But if Remus was accepted back, would that make them be ‘the king’ again? No. Not thinking about that tonight.

He felt Virgil get up next to him. “I’ll get going then...”

“No,” Roman hurried as he pulled Virgil back into his side. This got him a surprised look, but he didn’t care. “Neither of us should really be alone right now don’t you think? And I don’t think you were exactly lying when you said your room was too intense for you right now,”

Virgil shrugged. “No... But...”

Just then they both manifested their sleepwear. A comfy shirt and sweats in their respective colors.

“Thomas is going to sleep. We should too... And I really don’t want to be alone with my thoughts right now,” he confessed. This seemed to convince Virgil. It wasn’t like it would be the first time. Well it was the first time they’d both sleep in his bed and in their pj’s. But it had happened that one of them dozed off on the other ones shoulder during a movie a few times. No big deal.

So along with Thomas they settled in for the night.

Virgil felt that Roman was still tense and it was affecting Thomas’s ability to fall asleep. At least, Virgil told himself that this was the reason why he turned towards him wrapped his arms around his fellow side and started singing, his voice drifting through the dark room. “There are shouters and murmurers, loan sharks and burglars...” by the end of the song both had relaxed and drifted off to sleep.

There it’s not perfect, i started writing at nine in the evening and it’s now almost two. So my brain is fried. Might write a follow up shorter bit about the inside out perspective on the last scene with Lee and Mary Lee when I’m actually awake. Edit: Fixed the spelling a bit

With love lovelivingmydreams

Next part this is going to be longer than I planned

[forkanna]

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

WARNING: Another NSFW chapter, though this one contains more plot.

NOTE: I apologise for taking nearly a month off from posting. Just haven't been in a writing mood. I'll be trying to get back to our regularly scheduled programme soon!

                                                  ~ o ~

The appointed hour had arrived. Rise watched Ai's face carefully as it was screwed up in concentration, trying to ignore the anxious flutter in the pit of her stomach. This situation was life-or-death, because if it went in a direction she didn't like she would probably want to throw herself off the nearest bridge.

"Well…?"

"Hmm… it's like… a shiny flower… butterfly… thing."

"What?!"

Huffing, Ai pushed up on her elbows a little more. "Well, what do you want me to say?! That's what it looks like, spread open like that!"

"Ughh, you don't have to make me feel like my body is weird! I'm doing this for you, remember?"

"Yes, and I appreciate it, of course," she conceded with a roll of her eyes. "But don't act like I don't have a point; that is what it reminds me of. I'm just being honest."

Now all Rise wanted to do was close her legs. But she had to ask one more question. "Does… does that mean you don't like it?"

"What? No way, don't be an idiot!" Crawling forward to look straight into her eyes, she whispered, "You're the hottest chick at Yasogami. Well, besides me." They both smirked. "And every part of you is beautiful, do you hear me?"

"Okay, okay," she muttered glumly, trying not to pout. "Sorry."

"No, no, I get it. Suddenly I'm the bitch whose opinion matters a lot because my body is the only one that gets really close to yours. Like, you're obviously going to be worried that I'm not into your body as much as you're clearly into mine."

"Geez, you don't have to put it like that, Ebi-chan. I'm not a pervert! I just… I really like my girlfriend, it's normal! Well… not that liking girls is."

Ai shrugged as she reached down to pet her fingers up and down over Rise's abdomen. They were on the tatami in the middle of their hotel room, the setting sun barely lighting up the walls, and Ai was still fully dressed whereas her girlfriend had fully disrobed, to give her the chance to examine her body at her leisure. It was a little weird, and she felt like a lab experiment, but she knew Ai had probably felt much the same when she was sniffing around her dick before. Fair was fair.

"I think it's pretty normal," Ai protested as her flawlessly-buffed fingernails teased through Rise's well-trimmed strip of pubic hair. Why was that not just hot, but somehow yet hotter because they were such delicate fingers?

"Mmhhh… well, I… I feel so guilty, still. Like we're sneaking around and doing something naughty."

Her lips quirked into another smirk. "Oh, we're definitely naughty. But sneaking around? It's kind of a social media blitz for you or whatever, so… either we're not doing that at all, or we are amazingly shitty at it."

"Shut up," she snorted, bopping Ai on the ear with her knee. It was the easiest thing to reach. "But um… I guess that's true."

"Everything's completely fine, girl," she told her in that extremely rare tone of gentleness that made Rise's heart pound double-time. "We're golden — it's Golden Week. Loosen up."

Snorting, she shot back, "I could have said that to you this morning." Ai rolled her eyes. "Y'know, when my finger was in y-"

"Yes, I get it, I get it." Her head tilted to one side, honey-hued locks pooling on the floor. "Did you like that?"

"Well… it was weird, and kinda gross at first. But!" she protested when Ai started to grimace. "I'd do it just to make you happy, even if it was horrible. And it wasn't, okay? I even…"

When Rise still hadn't finished that sentence after a few seconds, Ai wound up prompting her, "You even… liked it? Hated it? Give me something to go on here."

"No. It's too weird."

"Come on, it's just us. You gotta get used to trusting me sometime. Or don't, I guess."

"Are you… guilting me?"

"See? You already don't trust me." But when Rise pouted, she snorted and poked her in the tummy. "Just playing with you… but maybe also making a point. I know I'm kind of a bitch, but I'm trying to trust you despite almost outing me to the entire school. Can it start cutting both ways?"

Thoroughly chagrined, she whispered, "Well… that's not exactly what this is. But I get it. I'm just embarrassed and you know that, but I'll try to open up… if you do."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. So if I admit I thought it was pretty hot, watching you get all squirmy… will you admit that you liked me slipping a finger up there?"

Stalemate. Both of them were staring into each other's eyes, trying not to give ground. A perfect example that both of them were correct in their estimations of what areas they needed to work on. Eventually Ai took a breath and sighed, "Okay, okay, you're right. I just… it's almost like admitting weakness. Which is so dumb that I care, we should both be getting more comfortable with each other."

"Okay. Just this time, even though you didn't say it, I'll accept that as you admitting you liked it," Rise said in a slight sing-song. When her girlfriend pouted, she went on, "And I thought it was hot. Like, not the butt part exactly? But fingering you…" She could feel her cheeks heating up from having to put it into words.

"Yeah. I mean, I get that. Just because it's… where it is, doesn't mean you didn't fuck me right."

"EBI-CHAN!" she hissed in a scandalised tone.

"What? You did. I mean, now that we're being honest…" Ai still had to clear her throat, even if she was doing a better job of keeping an even tone of voice. "Your finger started hitting really deep — hit my spot, and it was all over. I've never, ever felt like that before. It was like my fingers and toes and nose and tits were all orgasming with me."

Rise had been gaping at her until the very end, when she let out a weak little laugh. "Nose and toes, huh? Wow. But I'm really happy I could help; I just wanted to make you feel good, and find out if that was one way we could do that."

"Definitely. Like, now that I'm past trying to pretend I don't need it." Ai squirmed a little. "Uhh…"

She sat up a little more, petting through her hair. And she leaned into the touch. Had she ever done that before? "Do you want me to do it again? Not right now!" she reassured her, and Ai relaxed a little. "But just, um, just in the future."

"I think so. Is that weird? You're my girlfriend, you shouldn't have to fuck me in the ass like a dude."

"Mm. Well, then I'll fuck you in the ass like a lady."

Ai giggled a little, crawling up to curl around her body. "I don't know exactly what that means, but I'm there. I'll offer you the same anytime you want."

"Oh, I think I'll be okay," she laughed easily. "I've never had any interest in that. Before! Before now. Wait — no, I still don't have any interest in having mine… d-do we really have to keep discussing this?"

"No," Ai told her with a slight smirk as she leaned in to kiss her cheek so tenderly that Rise briefly forgot that she was even nervous about the topic of conversation. "We could go back to talking about that phone call."

A brief pause. "So about my butt…"

"Come on, it can't have been that bad," she challenged her with a little snort. "You're just gonna keep being your fabulous self, and so will I, and Japan will join the fucking twenty-first century."

"Yeah, I just… talking about it… I'd rather focus on you, on us. On Okinawa! This is one of our last little flings — especially for you, senpai."

Clearly, that hint wasn't lost on her. She sighed and cuddled a little closer. "You're right. We should enjoy it while we can."

"Mmm, it feels like somebody already is."

"That's- it's an involuntary reaction! I was literally staring down the barrel of your pussy two seconds ago — anybody with one of these would have theirs sticking straight up, too!"

Voice the tiniest bit haughty, she said, "Well. I'm not going to assume anything, okay? I know you don't want me to… give you a little kiss down there… or caress with my fingers… or-"

"What a goddamn tease," she muttered.

"You love it." When Ai didn't answer, she grinned and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, pulling her in yet closer. They didn't really need any words anymore. As hard as it was to ignore that firm presence, given how unfamiliar Rise was with such things, she just tried to keep her focus on those sweet lips pressing against her own, on the warm back beneath her palms. On the woman she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

That realisation bowled her over. Even though they had been trending in that direction, she had yet to truly think about their future together. Sure, they would have to list Ai as male in order to get a marriage certificate… or would they? Maybe they really shouldn't worry about it. Not being able to enjoy the same status as her straight friends would be frustrating, yes, but it wasn't the end of the world. As long as she could live with her lover and share their lives, that was good enough.

By the time they finally parted, Ai managed to breathe, "I want you so bad…"

Careful to keep her tone neutral, she whispered, "How?"

"Any way I can have you. I… shit, what the hell did you turn me into?"

"Then I'm all yours. You can… have my mouth again, if that's what you like. Or did you wanna go, um… go all the way?"

"I don't know!" she groused as she pulled at her hair. Not that this minor crisis was reducing her arousal any; it was still grinding into Rise's hip and driving her up a wall. "UGH! I want to be as close to you as I can, and that seems like the way, but I also don't want to be the 'boy', you know?"

Drawing her in for another brief kiss, she whispered, "You won't be. Not to me; you'll always just be Ai. My cute little Ebi-chan. I… do you want me to use my finger on you again? I'd love to! I wanna do anything that makes you happy!"

"I… kind of? But no, not right now. I want to make you happy this time."

"Oh." Rise felt another flush of shame, trying not to remember the very obvious fact that she didn't have a stitch of clothing on her person. "Well, um… I want what you want." Did she just give her permission?!

"Good. Then let me try, um… with my mouth. I'll probably suck, but hey, no time like the present to start practicing. Especially if I ever want to be able to do this right."

"Sure! Yeah, that's… that's the same thing I was thinking while doing it for you." With a slight squirm, she then lowered her voice to barely a whisper, "I'm just… I'm sorry if it tastes, or smells… you know…"

Ai lifted a hand to waft away such thoughts. "You'll be fine. It's you. I mean, even if you weren't the sweetest girl in the universe, you're still Risette; that label of yours wouldn't let you have some stanky puss."

Bright red. Like a stoplight. Even though Ai was saying hers wouldn't be so aromatic, the very idea of it meriting a word such as "stanky" made her want to take a bath with a toaster. "U-uhm… thanks?"

"Anytime, girl."

And that seemed to be all the warning she got before Ai was kissing her way down her chest toward a clear goal. This was it; she was finally going to get as good as she gave. Unless she thought of some legitimate reason to ask the teen queen to pull back… but her mind was a blank. All she could think about was those perfect lips dimpling the skin of her abdomen, the lusty gaze being shot up in her direction as she moved lower, and lower…

Lowest. She felt a kiss in her hairs and she couldn't entirely suppress an anxious squeak. Her eyes slid closed as one leg moved up to drape over her girlfriend's back, hoping that would somehow encourage her — prove that she was ready. Even if she wasn't.

"This alright?"

Oh no. Ai was calling her bluff; it was glaringly obvious how high her nerves were running. "Y-yeah… it's just really, um, new?"

"I get that."

Then Ai moved again, and Rise almost curled into a ball. "WOW! That's- you kissed my…"

There was a slight sheen on Ai's smirk when she raised up to look at her properly. "You are soaking fucking wet, Kujikawa. How bad have you been needing it?"

"I haven't been! Honestly, I'm- NNH, how are you doing this?!"

"Pretty easy," she shot back before leaving a long lick along the entirety of her vulnerable flesh. Rise reached down instinctively to grip the hair attached to that head that was giving her so much pleasure it was overloading her system. Did everybody experience this? Was she oversensitive, or was it normal to feel like every inch of her skin was on fire, like she was losing all control?

"God, this is getting me so hard," Ai breathed before diving back in. Which didn't help matters in the slightest; Rise already felt like she was losing her mind, and knowing her girlfriend was nearly as bad off only heightened her pleasure, making her want to roll over and rut on her face. Or…

Or go further. Ai wasn't ready, and she would respect that, but if just her lips and tongue were making her feel this phenomenal, what would it be like for them to really go for it? Uniting their bodies had to be just as good as taking care of each other in turn, if not better.

"NH!" she finally burst out when she felt the pleasure rising. "I'm… I'm about to- it's gonna happen!"

"Yeah?" Ai panted as she used her thumb to caress that tortured flesh, gazing up at her with glazed eyes. "That mean… should I finish you off?"

The volume at which the word "YES!" ripped from her throat left their ears ringing. Rise would feel embarrassed about that — later. When she had time. Right now, she was too busy literally dragging Ai's head back down to devour her anew, moaning as her hips rolled up into their point of union. A little more — and the way her tongue was hitting her clit was spurring her on faster, making it-

Ai brought her to the hardest climax she had ever experienced. Feeling this one made her realise she had been only getting close to a real orgasm all those years since she first began to awaken sexually; a real orgasm blew those pretenders to the throne out of the water so easily. Guess that was what she got for never truly masturbating, or finding anybody who could take care of it for her.

Once the most intense of those sensations began to fade, Rise started coming back to her senses. A few things surprised her: she felt the tatami suddenly pressing into her back, because she had lifted herself upward. Ai's shirt moved when she started pulling her leg back, because her toes had clenched so hard in the fabric. The same was true of her hair — which she let go of first, feeling a few strands come away with her fingers with a little flare of guilt that she hadn't been gentler. Her mind had literally gone somewhere else while the ecstasy overwhelmed. It was almost scary, but mostly just… damn.

"Whoa," Ai breathed simply. The whole experience had left both of them speechless. After swallowing and clearing her throat, she licked her lips before wiping them on the back of her hand and crawling up to hover above her girlfriend. "You okay?"

"Hmnah!" was the best she could do. Ai giggled, so she tried to do better this time. "Yeah!"

Grinning, she pressed her face into Rise's neck. "Yeah. I can handle that review, I guess. Still wanna know if I did anything stupid, though; like, this was my first attempt, I can't have been perfect."

"Oh… you… close to… heaven." She hadn't meant to say 'heaven', it just slipped out.

"Really? Well… good, that's good." Ai was kissing her neck a little more firmly, more frequently. It suddenly occurred to Rise that she could feel that bulge digging into her hip; poor Ai hadn't gotten off since that morning, even if she did get there twice.

"You… want help?"

"Huh? Oh, naw, I can ignore it. Don't even trip."

"But you… I wanna… I like your friend." She took a couple of breaths, finally beginning to fully recover. "What can I call her?"

"Annoying," she snorted, and Rise rolled her eyes while she grinned into her hair. "Bitch that won't leave the party."

Nodding, she kissed into her scalp and earned herself a little sigh of appreciation in return. "I like her. That doesn't mean you have to, or like… that you have to keep her or like her for my sake. But just so you know, we get along pretty well. I mean, for a girl and an, um, appendage."

"Dork. But thanks. And it makes me mad that we have to have this conversation… but I appreciate that you get it. That you can really, uh, want my D without forgetting that I don't want it at all."

"Yeah, of course. I might have been dumb when we first started out but I learn fast."

"You do," she agreed with a little squeeze. Rise wrapped her arms more tightly around her girlfriend, appreciating their warmth, their connection. "It's honestly refreshing. Like, I got so much hate when I came out… even from my own family. I had started to believe it was impossible to expect people to get me. Then here comes this prissy famous bitch."

Rise smacked her on the arm, which only earned a harsh chuckle. "Who's the bitch here, really?" But then she moved her hand down to her bulge. "Let me take care of this. Like, it doesn't have to be anything special, or… not unless you want more."

"Mmhh… annoying." But Ai looked away, biting her lower lip. Again, Rise questioned why she found watching that to be so hot but she tried to relegate that question to the back of her mind for the time being.

"What is it?"

"Your mouth is so good… fuck, I'm sorry. Like, that's a lot to ask, twice in one d-"

"You got it." When Ai just blinked at her, she shrugged bashfully. "I'd do that. I'd use my finger again, I'll give you whatever you want. As long as you're okay with me figuring out how to do it as I go, I don't mind! It's nice that we can help each other out."

Though it took her a second, she started to nod with a slight smile. "It is really nice. Weird, but like, I guess it's not since we're dating."

"Yeah," Rise giggled. "We're just not used to dating, right?"

"Mm. You're sure I didn't mess up while muff diving?"

"While WHAT?! Excuse me? You can't call it that!"

Smirking a little as she sat up and started to disrobe, she purred, "I can call it whatever I want, Risette. Now perform for me. Maybe I'll just jerk off onto your butt."

"NO! Ew, why would you do that when I- that's gonna be all sticky, we'd have to take another bath!"

"So what? The last one turned out to be a real event…"

"Yeah, for you! And you were definitely writhing and squealing all over the place!"

"Y-yeah, well, that was your fault!" she shot back as that ready-and-willing cock bounced out into the open air. "Maybe I'll take you up on your mouth just so you can't say mean things to me."

Rise pursed her lips for a moment before saying, "Maybe I won't be as careful with my teeth this time."

"Hey, don't joke like that," Ai said with a shiver. "I might not want to keep her but that is NOT how I wanna lose her."

"Then behave," she purred as she crawled toward her lap, rubbing her cheek against the warm length. "And I'll behave exactly the way you want."

Ai complied. She complied for the following ten minutes, and got exactly what the doctor ordered — because the alluring Nurse Rise was tending her every need. Five star service.

                                               To Be Continued…

[extremelyblackandwhite]

i wanna know what love is - 15

Pairing: rockstar! sebastian stan x writer!reader

Warnings: none.

A/N: for me the most romantic scene of all time is the pas de deux dance scene seen in the “dance at the gym” scene. west side story is such an important romantic movie for me that i decided to include it. i hyperlinked the pas de deux so you guys can have a good idea of what’s happening. also sebastian has said in an old interview that he did west side story so here we are. 💕💕

Last Chapter // Next Chapter

Sebastian spent the whole night awake, staring at the ceiling and thinking about Mary’s words. He’d always found it hard to argue with Mary, after all she was a graduate Yale Law student and he, well, the only experience he had with the law was when he got pulled over by driving under the influence and even then Mary came to fix it. However, he also knew Mary preferred Y/N over him, so if she was telling him to do something about it, he was supposed to do it. Nevertheless, he couldn’t come up with the courage to do anything and it wasn’t like Melody would leave him easily.

     - You alright, baby? - Melody asked as she got ready to go downstairs for a buffet breakfast. - You look awful, I’ll get you some sleeping pills tonight. 

    - Y/N knows why I’m leaving. - he just said it. Maybe she would see herself out if her blackmail disappeared from her arsenal. - She knows. 

    - Are you taunting me? - she turned on her heel, arms crossed across her chest. He was not taunting her because taunting her normally meant a fight and the amount of sleep he had gotten the two prior days did not gave him enough force to have an argument this early in the morning. - What do you think is gonna happen? You’re gonna go over her room, tell her you like her and she’ll fuck you and play happy couples? Girls like her marry prep school boys, not guys like you. You’re the guy she fucks before she marries a doctor.

     - I think I’m gonna stay in. - he laid against his pillow, ignoring her mumbles as she got ready to go to breakfast. She eventually left, and by the noise he could hear from his bedroom, so did everyone else which meant he had the whole house for himself. 

It wasn’t like he could sleep, not after what his mind had done to him when he felt asleep for a few minutes. Therefore, he decided to lift from the bed and grab his guitar. He’d had the same guitar ever since he signed his first contract, he remembered walking into a music store and picking the guitar he’d wanted to buy since he was a kid. He’d kept it all these years and sometimes would play it. Today was one of those days. 

He sat on the couch by the wall, guitar on his leg as he started to play something. What he didn’t know however was that someone else was at the hotel room and that someone else woke up very annoyed to the song reverberating through the walls. Y/N raised her torso, sleep still in her mind as she heard what she thought was Every Rose has its torn. She groaned, climbing out of bed and getting into her slippers as she made a bee-line to where the noise was coming. Sebastian’s room. Sometimes, she wondered if he lived just to annoy her. 

She was about to burst into his room asking him why he was destroying her beauty sleep but the softness of the guitar and his voice as he sang one of, in Y/N’s opinion, one of the saddest songs in rock. She slightly opened the door to see the scene, his head against the wall and guitar slightly leaning against his torso, eyes closed. She grabbed her phone behind her back, turning her voice memos on so she could get it on record, her head leaning against the door as she finally heard him sing something softly. However, nice things don’t last forever and the song was over pretty soon. 

   - That was lovely. - she said making him jump off his seat, heat shooting to look at the door where she stood. - I didn’t mean to frighten you.

  - Aren’t you supposed to be at breakfast? - he asked, trying not to sound rude. It wasn’t like he didn’t enjoy her company, he did, but not when he could still envision her face in his dreams. 

  - I’m not feeling very well. 

  - Everything alright? - he almost bolted off the coach, going to meet her at the door until he realised he was acting stupid. 

  - I just forgot to bring my hot water bottle and I’m having very cramps. - Y/N on the other hand did not know why she was being so comfortable with him. She didn’t know him that well to be telling him her uterus was shedding but here she was. However, what she did not expect was for him to give her an understanding smile, putting his hand in her lower back and accompanying her to the living room. - What are we doing?

  - I’ll get someone to get you a hot water bottle and some room service. Should make it better, right? - he said, a look of complete confusion in his face as he picked up the phone to call room service and the costumer service desk. Y/N couldn’t help it but smile at him. Mary couldn’t be right, he couldn’t have overdosed, she just didn’t see it. He put the phone down, noticing that she was staring at him more than usual. - Mary told me, Y/N. 

 - What did Mary told you? - her heart stopped. She wouldn’t dare tell him that without her express consent. 

 - I know you know why I’m leaving the band. - she felt herself calm down. It wasn’t as bad, I mean could be worse, Mary could’ve told him way personal stuff that she’d want to be locked in. - I can see you wanna ask about it, you’re a terrible pretender. 

 - Do you do drugs? - she asked as he took the spot in the coach next to her. 

 - No, Y/N. I don’t do drugs.

 - Did you ever do drugs? - Sebastian laughed at her questions. She looked so much like a kid, asking something she shouldn’t be asking and he couldn’t help but look at her with a grin. 

 - No, bunny, I never did drugs. - he pointed at the bunny ears headband that she was wearing to keep her hair out of her face. He wanted to point out it looked ridiculous but considering she was in a situation that would make her win every argument, he decided not to. - Do you have any more questions?

 - If you never did drugs and you don’t do drugs, how did you overdose? 

 - I was partying with some guys at the bar, took my eyes off my drink for a minute and they put something in my drink. Next thing, I know I’m awake in the hospital without the loose money I had on me. 

 - Why didn’t you tell the guys? - she wondered out loud, her head laying against the coach. 

 - I want out of this, Y/N. I never asked ... never wanted ... to be this. I wanted people to like and listen to my music, not me. But the limelights and the girls, the drinking ... they change you. I’m tired, Y/N. I destroyed my relationship with my family, with my friends ... I want out. 

 - You don’t destroy relationships with anyone. You just put a pause to it until you’re ready to restart it. - one employee came in holding a cart full of food and the hot water bottle. Sebastian thanked the employee as Y/N cuddled the hot water bottle against her stomach. He immediately left, leaving them alone again.

 - My mother told me not to dare to speak to her after a magazine ran an article about me and my supposed groupies. - he took one of the trays with some pancakes. - My stepfather passed away mad at me and all my step siblings went to ivy leagues and have picture perfect marriages. I didn’t even finish college.

   - Did you try talking to her? - she was soothing to speak with but Sebastian daren’t speak with his mother. She’d made it loud and clear, she didn’t want to speak with him and he’d made peace with it. - She’s your mum, she won’t hate you forever. 

   - Right ... what movie should we watch? - he turned the smart TV in front of them which was almost as big as the wall. The sound of Netflix, changing the subject as he scrolled through the movies. However, her eyes were set on the movie just below what he was looking at, West Side Story. 

    - West Side Story. - she said, an eyebrow raised at him. Y/N didn’t know if he would be into it but he just shrugged, putting the movie on. If there was a movie that made her go back to childhood, it was West Side Story. Whenever the whistle at the beginning of the movie started, it just brought back memories of her and her brother trying to do the dance routines around the living room table with her mother and father following them begging them to stop before someone got hurt.  

Sebastian had also watched the movie quite several times. He enjoyed a classical well written score and West Side Story’s score seemed to talk for itself without the aid of lyrics. 

They quickly reached the dance at the gym scene which was by far Y/N’s favourite scene, mostly because she could do the whole scene. She got up from the couch taking his hands with hers as she took her stance. He found it amusing as he took the same position she was in, moving from side to side with arms at shoulder length. He had to admit it he found it hard keeping up with her as she moved around, fingers snapping yet arms still perfectly up. Sebastian ended up by failing epically making her hit his chest, instead of the side. 

His eyes locked with her, a light flush from the heat of the room settling on his cheeks.

   - You value honesty above all, don’t you Y/N? 

   - In normal conditions, yes. 

  - My truth is that I really want to kiss you.

  - Well, we have a problem then ... - she looked at her feet before raising her head to stare at him. - Because I want to kiss you too. 

[siramay-the-showgun-dragon]

Nothing changes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28144008/chapters/77507987

Just to make things clear... (go on) Last night, I was attacked by someone wearing a mask... (yep) And whoever that was--now they're... I don't know why, but now they're laying dead in front of me... (I can neither confirm nor deny this query)

Makoto: what is that supposed to mean.

Siramay: I can neither confirm nor deny this query sorry you’re on your own.

So after seeing the corpse they began to investigate what could possibly have happened and then they tried to tell who it was and take of her mask and then

*KABOOOOOOM*

Siramay: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOOK AT HOW THEY MASSACRED MY GIRL WHY MUST YOU BE SO CRULE UNIVERES

...there was a blinding light, and a deafening roar. The body...blew up. It blew up it blew up it blew up it blew up it blew up it blew up it blew up it blew up!

Needless to say the survivor gang tried to put out the fire, but the damage was done WAS HER DEATH NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU! YOU GO AND DAMAGE HER BEAUTY TO!? Well even so may she still be an angel at first they all thought it kyoko, but they did bring up the possibility of it being the mastermind.

Makoto: Is it the teenage girl Kyoko told me about? The Ultimate Destrawberry...?

Siramay: you still doing that?

Makoto: you can never be to sure, also its funny

Siramay: true

Then makoto told the others about mukuro ikusaba the ultimate des-…. I’m running out of food… destarfruit.

Byakuya: There's another student here, and it's a female? That *would* match the body's characteristic...

Aoi: And that phrase, the Ultimate Des-

Siramay: NOOOO!!

magic

Aoi: Desblackberry--it sounds super mastermind-y, doesn't it?

Makoto: what did you do this time siramay?

Siramay: now no one can say desboysenberry MAHAHAHAHHA.

IT WAS THE ONLY THING SHE HAD LEFT WHAT DID SHE DO TO DESERVE THIS!? …do I even need to answer that?

yasuhiro: Okay, so...the mastermind is this girl Mukuro? And she's a student here? And she's the Ultimate Desdragonfruit? But if she's been hiding here in the school like some teenage Bigfoot...how'd she wind up burnt to a crisp!?

Well needless to say they went to investigate the body, also toko is ok what makoto saw was a strange key on the ground, then bayakuya kicked makoto out to look for the door the key opens.

Siramay: it opens the data center.

And makoto immediately went to tell them, REALY NO CHECKING!? then when they went they forced makoto to open the door incase it blew up, rude and so he opened it.

Siramay: behold…. THE MASTERMIND LAYER!!

Dramatic pose Epic thunder sounds

Makoto: where that come from?

Siramay: where do you think.

So yeah they saw all the cameras and such the mastermind uses to watch everyone.

So they all think mukuro was the mastermind BASELESS SLANDER and that shes dead, eh I don’t care I got a David bowie stash to find and steal then they wanted to investigate the data lab to find out secrets since they think zetsu was murdered.

Byakuya: Naturally. The state of the corpse makes it plain as day. There is absolutely no doubt the mastermind was murdered.

Siramay: ah not clearly they laid down put their coat on top of them and stabbed themselves in the stomach.

Makoto: really?

Siramay: no!

Well anyway they began to investigate the room like how the monodoor was locked and oh look a tv antenna witch they had yasuhiro use to connect to the tv which showed them and on every channel to how confusing oh and look monokuma was here.

Siramay: HES ALLLIIVVVEEE

They also said he’s acting different, but I don’t get that they seem the same to me, must be the madness of isolation.

Makoto: Oh yeah, that's it. Puhuhu... The look on your faces right now is sublime!

Siramay: it is kinda funny.

Monokuma: That's what I wanted to see--the moment you went from hope to despair.. I can say it myself naegi!

Siramay: OH NO I FORGOT MY MAGIC DOSENT WORK ON THEM AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Then siramay jumped away in a portal in fear

monokuma: Well, it's almost time to cut off your past so full of hope and begin to DESPAIR at the future ahead of you! I want you to all have way more fun in this killing game!

Then monokuma said other things

 This life isn't all bad ya know! I mean, there's stuff you won't like about life no matter where you are!

Siramay pops his head out of a tiny portal.

Siramay: that’s fair

Toko: Are you s-serious? This place is the w-worst...!

Monokuma: If it's the worst, does that mean you're in...despair? Ahh-hahahahaha!

Siramay: man you’re running millage on that word guess it makes sense its all you have left.

I say holding the secret stash of David bowie music I could burn this all right now in their face… no I shouldn’t I could use this later anyway also as a music man the songs are indeed quite good so anyway monokuma talks about how the tvs a clue.

Monokuma: Everything has a meaning, you know... All those hints I gave you, all those tantalizing tidbits about the school's mysteries... Even me luring you here right now... Why would I do any of that without a reason?

Siramay: ah so you admit it!

Monokuma: It was all for my captive audience--to show them true despair like they'd never seen it before!

Siramay: riiiiiggghhtt all right keep your secrets and ignore me not like I care!

Monokuma: I became the director of a despair-based production! This is the ultimate reality show! The best in despair entertainment!

A single tear sheds from siramays eye from being ignored.

Course monokuma went on and on about there evil but then he stopped cause after all if there still alive that means there not the body and if there not the body that means there’s another murder a foot and if there’s another murder a foot that means A TRIAL SHALL SOON COMENCE BUM BUM BUUUUMM

And then...he was gone. Reality was incomprehensible, the truth hopelessly out of reach. All we were left with...was despair. (monokuma: GOT IT! New ringtone!) We stood there for I don't know how long, frozen in place. I couldn't think- AW I COULD HAVE SAID DESPUMPKN GOSH DARNIT! (monokuma: you lose!) (it’s not over till the despair lady sings!). It took everything I had just to keep myself standing upright.

Yasuhiro: I don't understand any of this... What's "deswatermelon entertainment"? (monokuma: don’t start this again!) (to bad!) And...how is he still alive!?

Also byakyua thinks kyoko is dead cause his blatant and disrespectful slander of saying mukuro is the mastermind SLANDER I SAY! Course makoto refuses to believe it WITCH IS FAIR AS ITS AS FALSE AS ZETSUS HAIR COLOR and so the investigation begun, and so makoto went back to the garden, he saw fragments a knife, also makoto got all worried about murdering them awe no baby boi you didn’t do that then they checked the chickens.

Siramay: THERES NOT FIVE ANYMORE

I count four chickens.

Siramay: HINA YOU ATE A CHIKEN AND DIDN’T SHARE

Makoto: really?

Siramay: no

Then he recalled how the body looked before the boom, then they talked about the body was found, and byakua was suspicious about makoto thinking he’s the killer witch is not true at all, though I will admit it’s a fair point BUT MAKOTO IS AN ANGEL HE’D NEVER KILL and then makoto looked closer at the body..neeeeeerrr

Siramay: sad dragon noises

Makoto: … yes?

Siramay: look at those fake nails shed never where them she was forced to she couldn’t even have the honor of dyeing as herself what sick twisted monster would do that to a girl sob.

Makoto also noticed the wolf tattoo.

Siramay: yee I say she liked wolfys makoto but uh it had a more bisunessy reason but can’t say but shes a good girl she deserved head pats and love I hope she gets all the love in heaven, because she never got it here sob.

The upper half of the body got set on fire in the explosion, so it's totally blackened... Also, the top half of the body is wet.

SOB

Siramay just kinda stayed looking at the body in sadness.

Makoto also saw a tarp in the toolshed, then makoto wanted to investigate kyokos room, but first he realized the thing about the bomb but then they were allowed to go to kyokos room saw a woodblock key, then after talking to byakuya he recalled kyokos last will and testament sadly instead of giving makoto money or at least a boot to the head all it said was “under the sheets” in which makoto found a note about mukuro.

Siramay: aaayyy that’s my giiirrllll.

“Name: Mukuro Ikusaba

Sex: Female

The Ultimate Soldier (so coooool)

Although small for her age, she was a military specialist trained in every weapon type imaginable. (she could crush your skull with her thighs!)  She showed an interest in the military from childhood and soon found herself completely absorbed in it. In elementary school, she won a survival game tournament and began writing for military magazines. (soooo cooool oh I already said that…well its true)

Just before entering middle school, while she and her family were on vacation in Europe (Ireland specifically shes half Irish don’t ya know makoto)...she disappeared. The story of a young Japanese girl being kidnapped quickly took over Japanese media outlets (her grandfather died! But he had it coming). An intense international investigation turned up no information, and she was never found. (she must be smart to stay hidden or at least I think so clever girl but never appreciated)

However, she reappeared in Japan three years later (could have sworn it was 4), alone and completely unannounced. She revealed that she had joined a mercenary group known as Fenrir for those three years. She insisted that she hadn't been kidnapped, that she'd received battle training of her own volition. However, she never revealed why she decided to return home when she did.” (…its complicated you know hard to explain with parents dying and your father figure telling you not to give up on family and siblings who may or may not have turned super evil while you where gone….. I don’t wanna talk about it)

Then byakua said how he recognized Fenrir

Siramay: oh yeah I know about it to!

Makoto: can you say anything about it.

Siramay: awe yeah its multiverseal! I’ve heard in many words I traveled to of the infamies Lycan family and there gang of fighters who follow the wolf loving war and all that heard about them all the way back in the 1800s with the great vvulf from the DD dimension though maybe they are older then even that and of course I can’t forget that cunning Worriz and the twisted gang in the 1980-2000s nearly killed a good friend of mine that guy did, though in your time in this world it was run by a Mr. Wayne Lycan he was cool a bit on the scrawny side though that’s why he worked twice as hard to prove the worth to his father that he could leady the business named ATM to Fenrir how fancy oh he was like the father mukuro never had and always wanted though I do have to question how sensible the man was to just allow a 10-11 year old into a mercenary gang but he did care about her he cared about her greatly he was so proud to see her fight and be victorious in battlefield… he must be just as sad as I about her death and what that cruel excuse for a sister did to her he said it himself he said “if anything happens to mukuro I’ll kill everyone on the battlefield then myself” so if he wasn’t already dead I assure he’s dead now

Makoto: how do you know all this

Siramay: I know everything makoto and also nothing at all.

And then monokuma showed up and was all mad about rule breaking and making a fuss about it.

Monokuma: Of course I am! A proper school life is built on the dedication to organization and order! Which is why even I, as the school headmaster, have to follow the regulations myself!

Byakuya: Oh? So you're saying you have to follow your own rules, as well?

Monokuma: Absolutely! I can't have you complaining about how unfair it all is, now can I?

Siramay: riiiigggghhhttt

Makoto: ?

Siramay: I’m just saying makoto there are two types of villains, villains who will literally kill themselves when their world order is broken and villains who will fuss about it but when the time comes will break the rules as easily as they made them, now just look at monokuma and everything he’s done and ask yourself which type he looks like

Then monokuma admitted how there where 16 students and he is one of them then he also revealed kyokos secret about her KFH (kyoko fried hands)

Monokuma: You know how she wears those stupid gloves day in, day out, all the time? Well, don't tell anyone I told you, but... She wears them to cover a bunch of hideous scars that she doesn't want anyone to see!

Makoto: ...What?

Monokuma: Puhuhu. Okay, NOW that's all you get! Ahh-hahahahaha!

And then they left

Siramay: how rude talking about kyokos hand scars I bet you wouldn’t like it if I talked about your back scars.

Makoto: they have scars?

Siramay: yeah but it aint like kyokos that come from burning hers come from FLAELLATION!!

Siramay pulls out said tool above you know classic family abuse I would talk about it, but I feel its cliche, so I don’t wanna be rude.

Makoto: they used that!?

Siramay: oh no her parents used more a basic stuff like riding crops and their fist though he did have big fist like bigger than a mug I think, there was this one tool, but I can’t recall the name OH WAIT!

THE SJAMBOK! these things hurt like death…. but as I was saying oh yeah that old whip was more used by good old grandpa damian, he was the old Irish one I was talking about he was a flagellant and a sado-masochist, so he was delusional but still she was just 10.

Makoto: TEN- makoto covered his mouth as not to react deeply.

Siramay: at least he never got to use the metal ones like this thing!

makoto almost fainted at the thought of what siramay brought up but siramay with a portal grew another hand to catch makoto.

eh its ok makoto whats a little mental damage between friends eh? After all scars may be forever (unless you get scar removal surgery witch they possibly did) but psychological damage will last even longer

anyway with monokumas info makoto realized the corpse can’t be kyoko, cause clearly me constantly calling the course mukuro was totally not valid proof…. Then again mukuro does mean  corpse in Japanese maybe makoto just though I was being weird again, but no he would know her name yes! eh I digress anyway byakuya talked about mukuro and kyoko honestly it was pretty confusing.

Byakuya: We thought Mukuro, the Ultimate Despair, was the mastermind's true identity.

Makoto: don’t say that word!

Byakuya: why?

Monokuma getting aroused in the background.

Byakuya: But if that's true, Monokuma's behavior makes no sense. Why would the mastermind go out of their way to reveal themselves to us?

Makoto: That's a good point...

Well anyway they went to investigate the dojo to look at the locker and there where arrows and tape then they went to the archive to learn more about mukuro.

Yaaahhh more mukuro lore

Byakuya: "Fenrir is an elite fighting unit base out of the Middle East (it’s always the middle east why can’t they spice it up by fighting somewhere like Canada) (makoto: Canada really?) (I couldn’t think of anything but man that’s far from Europe don’t yah think. I think they were on draft world tour you know how it is). Unlike military contractors, they are a fierce group of soldiers who engage in direct combat. (fierce wolfy woos) They claim that a single member is equivalent to an entire company of regular soldiers. Just like Fenrir, the Wolf of Ragnarok, their mere presence is enough to strike fear into any enemy. They have been involved in countless military battles and operations, most of which are highly classified. (ou like the great battle of the heart of darkness a literal Eldredge abomination… wait that wasn’t them they were just commissioned by the cultist who found it oh, but they were defeated by the team who did defeat it I can still remember how they sliced vvulf in half)

"However, some time ago, they completely ceased all activity. At present, their continued existence cannot be confirmed. There are unconfirmed reports that the key members of the group were all neutralized. Rumors indicate they were killed to keep them from revealing the many state secrets they'd acquired. Some, however, believe there was mounting internal tension within the group, and they simply imploded." (WAYNE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) ……(PLEASE DON’T BE WHAT I THINK HAPPENED) (makoto: what do you-) (IM NOT SAYING!! As long as I don’t think it happened it didn’t happen, no no… oh no I can see nonononononoon! MAKOTO DISTRACT ME)

Makoto: ...

Siramay: at least Wayne and mukuro can reunite in heaven…

Byakuya: ...What is it?

Makoto: This all just sounds like some kind of...alternate reality.

Byakuya: Well, it isn't. This is *our* reality, the *only* reality (that’s not exactly true!). These people are part of our world. Their battlefields aren't much different from our lives here. An unpredictable, unimaginable world...

Also makoto realized the Fenrir people getting tattoos and that mukuro had a wolf tattoo and then it was time for the class trial, so as makoto went to the red doors siramay…started to beat box.

Siramay: bum bum bum bum bum bum bum a body’s been discovered a person has been murdered one of your fellow students is dead there’s a giant pool of blood and your names dragged through the mud gotta prove who is messed up in the head.

Well despair starts coming and it don’t stop coming don’t break the rules or you better get running dosent make sense why you’re trapped in here not what you expected from a new school year.

you’ve called it quits you’ve had enough so whats wrong with picking the knife up you’ll never leave if you don’t kill you’re gonna die if you just chill.

hey now! you’re the blackened! time for trial how sad!

Hey now! look what happened you got found out to bad.

And not its punishment tiiimmmee killers have to pay for their criimme.

Eh? Eh?

Makoto: …that was actually pretty good.

Siramay: YEAAHHH

Well when makoto got in the elevator everyone assumed him and byakuya where being gay (NO THEY WENRT) yes they were makoto, and so they where waiting for the elevator to go down… but go down it did not, it was a little over ten minutes, then monokuma showed up to explain the predicament, and then, like a hero in the climax of the movie, like a great explosion in a mine KYOKO WAS HERE ALLLIIIIVVVVEEEE even if yasuhiro thought she was a ghost so the others went to the elevator but makoto had a heart to heart with kyoko first, where makoto ask what kyoko was doing and she says how she was on the second floor dorms revealing that the key she had was a master key that could open any door in the school but they didn’t have much time to go further as they had to go to the trial, then kyoko sounded suspect but that ok cause it was trial time

Being the last one left, I stepped into the elevator. And the doors slid shut... This time, the clunking was loud enough to hurt my ears, and the dread began to consume me once again... I can't imagine ever getting used to the mental pressure that comes with preparing for an execution. In that dusky darkness, nobody said a word. We just stood there, silent, and still. After an immeasurable period of time, the doors opened without warning... A dazzling light penetrated every depth of my eyes. But it wasn't the illuminating light of hope... It was the blinding light of descarrot.

Makoto: OH SNAP NO IT WAS THE BLINDING LIGHT OF A FASHION DISASTER OH KODAKA! WHO DID YOUR HOME DECORATING? MY WORD IVE SEEN ANIMACROSSING HOUSES BY PEOPLE WITH BLINDFOLDS ON THAT LOOK BETTER THEN THIS

Siramay: I’ve heard of eyestrain but my word.

Monokuma: …rude Ahh, I've been waiting for this! I feel like it's been forever since we got together like this... The time for pointless jokes and jabs has passed. Let's get on with the show!

And so, the curtain opened for the fifth time... A deadly judgment... A deadly deception... A deadly betrayal. A deadly riddle, a deadly defense, and deadly faith... A deadly...class trial...!

SOOO COOOLL so the trial started.

Started with hagakure saying kyoko was dead and the one on podium was a GHOOOOOSSSTTT hahahahahahah thankfully makoto proved that argument wrong as they now needed to identify the real body victim …not thinking about it I guess that’s why he needed other not me proof to prover her identity he can’t just say “its mukuro cause the magic dragon only I can see told me so” hahahah they think he’s crazy so they talk about her tattoo.

Toko: Her master m-must have made her get it...to be like, "You're my *censored* ."

Crying cause shes not entirely wrong in a sense

But yeah so they all realized the corpse is mukuro.

Monokuma: Ah-ha-ha-ha! You sound surprised! But you're absolutely right! Yes, indeed! The trial this time is to solve the murder of Mukuro Ikusaba!

Siramay: SHE WAS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WOOOORRLLLDDD

Anyway

Aoi: But I mean...being the Ultimate Des-

Makoto: HINA NO!

Aoi: uh des…lettuce seems like a pretty mastermind-y title to me... sorry we’ve been out of fruits we have to go with vegetables now.

Monokuma: I don’t like this idea that’s spreading…

Byakuya: : Maybe we shouldn't have been thinking of her as the Ultimate Despair (makoto: EGGPLANT) in the first place.

Monokuma: I heard it~

Needless to say as they were talking about masterminds and all that and how mukuro wasn’t the big bad monokuma wanted to avoid the subject and move on to the fact the only 2 subjects that could have killed mukuro are kyoko and makoto, despite neither doing it but I digress so makoto had to clear his name so he explained cause the body’s dry (besides the water outage) that it had to have happened during 7:30-9 course that leaves kyoko without an alibi but kyoko wants to live to solve the school mystery says it’s a trap by monokuma (witch it is) but byakuya does state she had a motive

Byakuya: She thought Mukuro was the Ultimate Des-(makoto: GOARD). In other words, the mastermind behind everything... So she killed her to try and put a stop to all this. Isn't that right, Kyoko? But you made one catastrophic mistake--Mukuro wasn't the mastermind at all.

 So in this scenario kyoko opts to bunk makotos alibi unintentionally pining blame on him

And thus began the game OF BLACNKED TENIS where makoto and kyoko kept throwing the title of blackened back to one another stating why they went the killer framing the other in the process crazy right?

Like saying the blood on the body was actually chicken blood to make it look wet when it could have been dry

Makoto: wait why did they have to stab a chicken for the blood couldn’t they just stab the body?

Siramay: blood coagulates sometime after the body dies though.

Makoto: well how long?

Siramay: uhhh I donno, OH like at least 10 hours or so

Makoto: that would have been plenty of time!

Siramay: … cringing cause he knows mukuro was dead for over a month so her blood would be long past coagulated but unable to tell makoto cause if he revealed that he would be spoiled for knowing something is suspicious about the trial right.

So they continued with this argument and then kyoko brings up the ultimatum that they couldn’t have had the dojo key cause the dojo key was in their room and they couldn’t get in their room cause byakua took their key, but makoto knew otherwise since she had the master key and so makoto was left with a huge choice call kyoko out or keep it to himself.

Makoto: siramay what should I do

Siramay: well I can’t say due to the universe but what I can tell you is to follow your heart for you are an angel and your word will always be divine even if not at first glance.

Makoto: what does that mean.

Siramay: you’ll soon find out.

...I've made my decision. I have to believe in Kyoko. There's no way she would kill someone! There has to be some secret here, something that has to do with the mastermind's trap that Kyoko mentioned.

But sadly by holding that info the suspicion crashed down finally on him and stayed there despite makotos please that something is wrong but monokuma wouldn’t have it and ended the trial.

Monokuma: Now, who will be chosen as the blackened? Will you make the right choice, or the dreadfully wrong one?

Makoto: Hey, hold on! siramay! Is this supposed to happen?

Siramay: …

Siramay just sat in silence looking at makoto.

Monokuma: What's it gonna be? What's it gonna beeee!?

And so makoto was deemed guilty.

Makoto: What...? You think *I'm* the killer...?

Yasuhiro: Sorry, man...

Aoi: Yeah, s-sorry...

Toko: It's all your f-fault...!

Byakuya: ...

Makoto: Everyone...you're wrong...! You've got it all wrong! I didn't do it!

Monokuma: Good job, everyone!

Makoto: G-Good job...?

Monokuma: Yeah. They got it right!

Makoto: N-No, I know that's not true... None of this makes any sense... This whole trial doesn't make any sense!

Monokuma: It makes perfect seeeeEEEENNNSSSSSEEE!!! It's the same as always! It's just like all the other class trials! And I'm gonna end it the same way! It's time for your heart pounding, positively thrilling punishment!

Makoto: W-Wait! Why do I--!? siramay!

But siramay just looked at him and started to sing.

[SIRAMAY] Poor, poor Makoto, what'cha gonna do? Things look bad for you, hey, what'cha gonna do? Poor, poor Makoto, what'cha gonna do? Things look bad for you, hey, what'cha gonna do?

Makoto: ... Kyoko--!

Kyoko: I don't expect you to forgive me. I know this is all my fault...

Makoto: Kyoko...?

Monokuma: Let's give it everything we've got! It's...PUNISHMENT TIIIME!

And so he was dragged off to his execution and I could hear him beg.

SIRAMAY! SIRAMAY PLEASE HELP ME SIRAMY? SIRAMAY!!

…

[SIRAMAY] Why the struggle, why the strain? Why make trouble, why make scenes? Why go against the grain, why swim upstream? It ain't, it ain't, it ain't no use You're bound, you're bound, you're bound to lose What's done, what's done, what's done is done That's the way the river runs

So why get wet? Why break a sweat? Why waste your precious breath? Why beat your handsome brow?

Nothing changes.

Nothing changes, nothing changes Anyhow…

And at the final moment when it seemed all hope was lost for makoto alter ego showed up and opened the trash shoot saving makoto just as expected thank goodness its still sad to see though did have to scream it truly scared me to death I’m glad he’s safe though.

[SIRAMAY] Oh now survivors, how low can you stoop? You make a sordid group, hey, how low can you stoop? Poor, poor makoto, sent off to his grave Situation's stay, hey, sent off to his grave.

And so siramay jumped down after him.

[crispyliza]

Spamano multi-chapter fanfiction recommendation masterlist!

For all you home-quarantined people that have nothing to do and also because I’ve been meaning on making one of these since 2015 (took a global pandemic to get me started lol) 

These fanfics are all with multiple chapters and listed in no particular order. Of course some are better than others, but every single one has its charms! I added only a few with 3 or 4 chapters because i liked them too much not to whereas the rest of the fanfics have at least 5+ chapters. So without further ado, here they are:

Una Notte A Napoli “One night in Naples, by the moon and sea, my heart was stolen by an angel who had forgotten how to fly.” (completed)

Per Sempre Tuo “Lovino Vargas, better known as Romano, is a famous TV actor. He has everything anyone could ever want. The only problem is that the thing he wants, over-night singing sensation Antonio Fernandez, is married.” (completed)

HOVA “The Nova Sagittarius was a ship that would take myself and countless other passengers on a one month trip around our solar system. But things went wrong; the ship changed and just like that, we were stranded. We got to know each other but more than that, we got to know ourselves.” (completed)

What We’d Do Without Gravity  “While lost in a hospital Antonio comes across young terminally ill patient, Lovino Vargas. With Lovino left only six months to live it’s an awful time a romance to blossom between the ill fated pair, but with a bucket list to race through as the clock ticks down, the two find that love is very hard to avoid.” (completed)

Numbered Lithograph “When Lovino starts attending art school with his brother he finds his most important lesson doesn’t come from his professors, but from a culinary student at a sister school: sometimes the flaws hold the beauty.” (completed)

Tienimi Streto “Lovino Vargas is a detective with a poor attitude and a dark past, driven to the side of law by pain and revenge. After his partner quits, he is paired with specially recruited Antonio Carriedo, who becomes something more than just a co-worker. When deaths linked to the Italian start popping up over the city, Lovino begins to question everything he thought he knew.” (on-going)

More than attraction “Antonio says he met his love’s eyes over the bin of tomatoes. Lovino says he was stalked relentlessly until he was forced to give in.” (completed)

Credo “AU, 1502. Fueled by revenge, Lovino Vargas hasn’t failed an assassination job yet - but when a new Spanish captain comes to Rome, killing the unorthodox Antonio Carriedo might just be the death of him.” (completed)

Secret Tunnels from Madrid to Sicily “When Antonio Fernández Carriedo begins work as a professor at a prestigious university in Britain, one of his students, a Sicilian boy who goes by the name Romano, immediately catches his eye. He is a clearly gifted writer, who closes himself off in the wake of a dark and painful history. Even wrapped in his darkness, pushing everyone away, Toni finds himself determined to bring out the potential within Romano…They drag each other into a passionate, inevitable affair–doomed, they know, to end in flames.” (completed)

Why Did it Have to be You? “Lovino’s parents are tired of his horrible behavior, and hire Antonio to babysit him. But time is a cruel mistress, and in absence the heart grows fonder. These are just some of the things Antonio and Lovino will learn.” (completed)

And the Birds Sing No More “Don’t ever leave me.” Lovino said nothing. He allowed the tense heaviness to settle among his shoulders, tighten his lungs, and spread between the space from where he stood to where Antonio was seated lethargically. Antonio’s gaze sharpened. Lovino, inclining his head slightly, whispered, “I won’t.” (completed)

A Dancing Star “Antonio is the easy-going, life-loving art professor and Lovino is the Italian exchange student who walks into his art studio. When Antonio falls in love he thought he only had his job to worry about, but maybe it’s Lovino’s dark secret that’ll push him away. Trigger warning for self-harm and dark themes.” (completed)

Kismet “Lovino learns the hard way that things change and that they can change quickly. The necklace fell and now he’s in a strange land far from home. Will he ever see his brother again? Will he find his way home? Or will he discover home is where the heart is? Fate is a strange woman and can work in mysterious ways.” (completed)

Let that be enough “Lovino had given up hoping for someone who’d care about him. Antonio never expected to fall for the most tormented guy in town. But dark secrets and hidden dangers threatens their blooming relationship. Is it over before it even begun..?” (completed)

Child services “Romano and Feliciano Vargas have just lost their parents. Romano, who is 22, must care for his 6 year old little brother. Enter Antonio Carreido, the agent from Child Services who must record his progress, however, it’s hard for the cheerful Spaniard to keep from falling in love with this little broken down family and with Romano.” (on-going)

Loving a Stranger “You don’t remember, but I know you. We were- I don’t even know how to describe our relationship. That sounds bad, I know. I think you might have been in love with me, although I cannot see why. That’s just what I’ve been told. I acted as though I hated you, but I never did. I was afraid, because you were kind to me. I didn’t know I loved you until you forgot me…“ (completed)

The Many Personalities of Spain “England casts a spell to rid himself of Spain. As expected it goes wrong; leaving Romano to deal with the many personalities of Spain. That sounds like a normal day for Romano, right? It would be if the personalities not had their own personifications.” (on-going)

Daisy Genocide “My name is Lovino Vargas but that’s not who I actually am. I’m my brother. They put his DNA into a little ball of jello and grew me like a house plant. To say it blatantly, I’m a clone and I’m in a disturbing amount of trouble. I’m about to tell the story of my fight to preserve my humanity followed by a vicious history of crime but it’s a secret. Nobody has to know.” (completed)

More Than Meets The Eye “Striving to find approval and meaning, Antonio throws himself into the world of art determined to come out on top. Yet, in all of his searching, burning, and pain, he never thought that a single culinary student could ever manage to tear down his walls and make him face his biggest fear; himself.” (on-going)  

Cryonic “After suffering a fatal attack from an unknown illness, Lovino Vargas underwent cryopreservation, leaving behind his only family, his boyfriend, and a blooming company. Years later the effects are only just coming into play causing more problems than his preservation was supposed to solve. Human AU; T for language; pre-established Spamano.” (on-going)

All of Our Flaws “Antonio is a man whose world revolves around anyone but himself. Lovino is a man with dreams bigger than a job behind a drugstore counter. Antonio is broken; Lovino is incomplete. Will a chance meeting lead them to mending their cracks and finding their missing pieces? Human AU, trigger warning for self-harm.” (on-going)

Truly an artist “Having already completed college, Lovino Vargas lives in Madrid as an artist suffering from severe artist’s block. In one of his visits to his old school he runs into a new teacher, Antonio Fernández Carriedo, who decides he’ll be the one to help Lovino in his endeavor to find himself. However cheerful and optimistic, Lovino still feels there’s more to Antonio than he’s letting on.” (completed)

The Heartbreaker “Sometimes the best things happen unexpectedly. Certainly this is Antonio’s opinion at the moment. The handsome stranger he met upon moving to a new town in Italy seems to be able to do almost no wrong. Until he digs a little deeper below the surface and begins to discover an unsettling reputation. And if the rumours are true, is it wise to trust a man known as ‘The Heartbreaker?” (completed)

We sing, We dance, We eat tomatoes “When Lovino Vargas takes in a starving guitar player called the Curbside Prophet from the streets of Philadelphia, he isn’t expecting the man to tolerate him for more than a couple weeks, much less fall in love with him. Based on the the music by Jason Mraz.” (on-going)

Underwater Land “Antonio was a merman. Lovino hated water. It was truly a match made in heaven.” (completed)

Flashlight “If I throw a tomato at you, vampire bastard, will you still sparkle under the sauce?” Twilight parody. (completed)

Catch you, Catch me “Clumsy, clueless detective Romano is on the trail of the infamous handsome and charming thief El Apasionado Caballero. But there’s more to this, what seems like a simple game of cat and mouse, than meets the eye.” (completed)

Blackbird “Antonio walks into a small coffee joint, hoping for just some caffeine to take the edge off of late-night studying for midterms, and gets a whole lot more than he bargained for in the form of a snarky, foulmouthed, Italian barista.” (on-going)

Counting Stars “Antonio, failed writer and journalist, thinks things are finally going his way when he lands an interview with actor Lovino Vargas. But it’s only the start of a long line of problems… the biggest of which may be Vargas himself.” (on-going)

Cosa Nostra “Based on the historical background of the Sicilian Mafia during the First Mafia War starring Mafia!Romano.” (completed)

Tight Rope “Rich, spoiled kid Lovino Vargas hates pirates. Pirate captain Antonio Carriedo hates rich, spoiled kids. None of them ever thought they could feel something different from hatred towards one another. However, Fate seems to have different plans for them, and twists their lives in unexpected ways.” (on-going)

When You Recover “Nurse Lovino Vargas has to take care of brain damaged patient Antonio Carriedo, who seems to have a strange affection towards him. N-not that Lovino likes it! The Italian is determined to make the man recover, no matter what it takes. What will little Lovino get himself into with this patient?” (on-going)

Like All Things, It Ends “Lovino doesn’t want his family to know how much his childhood trauma still affects him and he does a good job at hiding it. That is, until he moves to a new town and meets Antonio, someone he is unable to hide anything from. (Warnings for PTSD, Depression, harmful thinking of oneself, and violent death of a loved one)” (completed)

Wish upon a star “A drunken wish on a star lands Lovino back in the time of pirates, and when he runs into a familiar face with an unfamiliar personality, he’ll start to question his own heart. Pirate!SpainxRomano. Rated for language, violence, and maybe mature situation” (completed)

Crooked Timber “As an artist, Lovino understands that perfection doesn’t exist. If only Antonio agreed with him, and stopped trying to hurt himself. -Human (College) AU. Spamano multi-chapter with other minor pairings. Depressed!Antonio, Writer!Antonio, Artist!Lovino- TW for self-harm.” (completed)

Just Pretend! “Romano liked Emma- a lot. Except her stupid big brother was too overprotective (and, okay, a little scary)! He wouldn’t allow any guy near her- unless they weren’t romantically interested in Emma. So, Romano decided to pretend to be gay, with the help of Antonio, in hopes of getting Emma to fall in love with him. Perfect plan, right?” (completed)

The Duty of an Elder Son “Lovino Vargas knew a lot about duty.” His Grandfather’s swollen empire puts all of his family in danger, the other gangs are massing, the police are on their tails and Lovino is given a bodyguard in one Antonio Carriedo. 1920s Mafia AU fic. (completed)

Flatmates “They were flatmates, they were best friends and they were really frustrated about relationships. So what would two young men do about this?” (completed)

Zero Tolerance “Lovino lives a perfect life. Or atleast thats how he is suppose to appear. Antonio lives a life as a dangerous gangbanger. North Side meets South Side as these two are partnered in their Chemistry class. But there is one chemical reaction these 2 arent prepared for- Love. AU, human names used. Based on the book “Perfect Chemistry” by Simone Elkeles.” (completed)

Your Love Can Be My SIght “Seventeen year old Lovino Vargas lost his sight in a terrible car accident. Antonio, a teacher at Lovino’s school was born without it. Can Antonio teach Lovino that even without sight, life can be beautiful?” (completed)

The Greatest Treasure, You Idiot! “Spinoff of the “Sea Foam” chapter in Hetalia Fairy Tales. Captain Carriedo of the pirate ship, Buscador Dorado, seeks a legendary treasure “that is worth gaining” with the help of the infamous wish-giver, Lovino. But what is the true treasure?” (completed)

Crowns of Triple Gold “Things are rarely simple for Romano in the Eternal City, especially when he falls for one of his clients, a Hispanian senator up for consul against his father.” (completed)

Prisoners on the Slave Ship of Love “Lovino Vargas has been captured and taken hostage in a pirate raid led by Captain Antonio Fernandez Carriedo and his band of Spanish buccaneers. Tensions grow high and hearts are tested when Lovino becomes Captain Carriedo’s personal prisoner…” (on-going)

The Lemon Tree “Lovino didn’t want to be a slave in that scary mansion. He needed to break free. The fight for independence, however, is a difficult path, and falling in love with the man that destroyed his life doesn’t make things any easier.” (completed)

Sun Kissed “A powerful man once created gods to rule the sky as the creatures of the land lives. The Sun and the Moon. Brothers since birth, and all powerful, they rule side by side. As time passes, the Sun realizes how unhappy he is watching people hide from him. What happens when he discovers a man who isn’t afraid to live under the harsh sun?” (completed)

Tesoro Mio “Antonio’s the charming, handsome farmer with an infuriating Spanish accent, and Lovino is the mysterious wine entrepreneur who comes and goes. When Antonio falls in love, he throws society, expectations, and religion to the wayside, but can a strict Catholic like Lovino do the same?” (completed)

Because of the war “A first person POV for Romano during and after WW2. His thoughts as he fights and survives. Beware of angst.” (completed)

Just Add one Mermaid’s Tear “To gain something of ultimate value; the unthinkable must be preformed. The line is etched upon the brow of every nation, the taste of the water still on their lips. What happens though when one nation desires the fountain of youth once more?” (completed)

Until the Moss Had Reached Our Lips, and Covered Up Our Names “In a city filled to the brim with gangs, all the territory split between them, peace has lasted for the past sixteen years. It’s a tentative peace, won after the last massive gang war reshaped the entire city. Except all it takes is one domino to fall, and the Vargas patriarch is dead, leaving behind Antonio to lead his house, who isn’t even his blood relative. With an untried Head, the balance of power has started to shift again, and it seems as good a time as any to start calling in old debts and revenges.” (on-going)

The Bet “When someone kisses you, and then moves away you’d think that would be it. But when Antonio comes back from Spain he wants Lovino to be his again. Except Lovino now hates Antonio…which sucks for Lovino because Antonio isn’t going to let go that easily.” (completed)

Wings “People ask me a lot why I love him. Why I spend so much time chasing him when he never returns my feelings. It’s because I see something they don’t.” (on-going)

My Heart is Drenched in Wine “Wine and romance. More importantly, when you cut through my wine!fangirling, this is a story about Lovino and Antonio and how they find their way back together (in spite of the past and occasionally the present) as they attempt to make wine and sometimes love.” (completed)

Of Two Minds “Feliciano and Lovino are living on the streets, with a secret that keeps them from getting close to anyone. Will their lives get better or worse after being forced to join a pirate crew, and what will happen when their secret finally comes out? Rated T for some (minor) violence, Romano’s mouth, and some angsty feelings. Pirate AU.” (completed)

Beats of Fever “Antonio Fernández Carriedo is a doctor working in Madrid dealing with a crush on an Italian tourist when the tensions in Spain reach a head and Civil War breaks out.” (on-going)

All of Our Sins “Lovino is Catholic, but he’s not entirely sure what he believes. Nevertheless, he and his brother Feliciano are forced to attend confirmation classes. When Lovino meets their group leader- bizarre, cheerful Antonio; one of the first people to treat Lovino like he matters- things get complicated. When they find this church is much darker than it appears, things get terrifying. Fast.” (completed)

Es Sólo Tu Corazón “Lovino has been in love with Spain for as long as he can remember. All he wants is to be with his former caretaker, but he soon finds out that the Spain he knew as a child is no longer there…and the real one is far more dangerous.” (on-going)

There Goes My Life “Antonio, 26, a old gourmet chef, a bachelor who’s all party. Lovino a 20 y/o premed student who only has one goal, to be become a doctor. He is determined to let his feelings for the Spaniard fade away, but after receiving devastating news, a drunken one night stand leads to the end of life as Lovino knows it.” (on-going)

As We Were “Rich, bored and unhappy, Lovino Vargas is the heir to his grandfather’s wine brand. Antonio is the restless young traveller prone to attacks of claustrophobia. For them, falling in love is a journey. Literally. Spamano, Human AU, multi-chapter. Warnings for language and sexual themes.” (completed)

NekoRoma “Antonio has been feeling lonely with his recent break up with his on/off boyfriend. The solution: a new kitten that his boss doesn’t want. Just as he gets used to this cat, a new challenge is thrown at him. How do you teach a cat to be human?” (completed)

Summer Sensations “The hot summer nights of Madrid bring many things, but one very special night changes two lives forever. Lovino learns that love is not such a frivolous thing after all.” (completed)

Fools Like Us  “What starts out as a normal Friday night for the “Bad Touch Trio” soon becomes an opportunity for Francis to use his favorite word in reference to his best friends. Unfortunately, Gilbert and Antonio couldn’t possibly have fallen for people who would return their feelings easily, but Francis is determined to help them out despite his own relationship-or lack thereof.” (completed)

Hear Me “Antonio and Lovino are trying their best to get by in high school, but between the stresses of grades, family, friends, and heartache, it’s a lot harder than it looks.” (completed)

Fame and Fortune “Lovino Vargas is a barkeeper and reluctant Stasi informant. As much as he despises what he does, he obeys the terrifying Red Army colonel, Ivan Braginsky. That is, until the secretive and frustratingly attractive Antonio Fernandez Carriedo arrives in his life and breaks all the rules. Inspired by the Elvis Presley song of the same name.” (on-going)

It’s all Antonio’s Fault “Condoms, footballs to the stomach, fake nurses, confusing hallways, and flying backpacks. Lovino Vargas’s first day at World Academy was already one of his worst, and he could only imagine that it would spiral downwards as he got to know the tomato bastard, otherwise known as Antonio Fernandez Carriedo.” (on-going)

My Antonio “Going against everything in his strict, Catholic upbringing, Lovino has fallen desperately into love and lust for his family’s Spanish stable boy, Antonio.” (completed)

Sound Life “Spain is dead, leaving Romano distraught and wishing for there to be a way for him to see his beloved Spaniard alive and healthy…Only to wake up in a strange alternate world… with another Spain seeking his affection.” (completed)

Possessively Scary “Romano begins college late with his brother after their nonno passes away. When entering, he meets a very strange Spaniard. The man is odd but still attractive at the same time. As they get closer, Romano learns more about Antonio and doesn’t know if he should be scared of the man or not. Can he get out of something he got himself into?” (on-going)

This Dance “Antonio wants Lovino to be his dancepartner at Austria’s ball. Lovino, struggling with his growing feelings of love and affection for everyone’s favorite tomato-bastard as always, agrees. Now, there could be worse things, right?” (completed)

Powdered Sugar “Truth, like powdered sugar, tastes sweet but goes down cold. If a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, we might need a bit more.” (completed)

Singles “Antonio, Francis, and Gilbert are three friends who suffered their first heartbreaks at the age of fifteen, and made a pact to never fall in love again. That will change for Antonio when he first lays eyes on a brown-haired young man in a club…” (completed)

A Heated Story “Sky High / superpower hs au. wip. Lovino Vargas is a new kid at Sky High with his brother. He has the power to control fire. Only one problem, he hates the heat. Spamano, and other ships. Doesn’t actually have anything to do with the movie, just used the school.” (on-going)

I Don’t Hate You “Lovino and his brothers face the unknown while on a mission to Earth. The Italian angel comes up against more than he bargained for when a dark angel takes a liking to him and now he and Feliciano might be cast out.” (completed)

Like all things, it ends “Lovino doesn’t want his family to know how much his childhood trauma still affects him and he does a good job at hiding it. That is, until he moves to a new town and meets Antonio, someone he is unable to hide anything from.” (completed)

Disegno e Colore “A young, apprenticing artist, Lovino craves rationality, perfection, and self-possession, and has curated his life to one day attain that. He never expected a chaotic and brash painter to barrel into his life and test everything Lovino thought he wanted and knew of himself, his art, and his heart.” (on going)

Land Beyond Dreams “Antonio is saved from death by someone he’d spoken to only a few times, but who lost his life in the process. Grief-stricken, he only wishes he could have gotten to know his savior, when his dreams suddenly become reality…or are they still only dreams?” (completed)

It’s All Antonio’s Fault “Condoms, footballs to the stomach, fake nurses, confusing hallways, and flying backpacks. Lovino Vargas’s first day at World Academy was already one of his worst, and he could only imagine that it would spiral downwards as he got to know the tomato bastard, otherwise known as Antonio Fernandez Carriedo.” (on-going)

A tale of endurance “Lovino had no idea what to do. Knowing that your life will be over in half a year tends to do that to you. Well, one thing he knew for sure. No one would ever discover this until the day he was pushing daisies. And that was a fact.” (completed)

The Risk of Love “Romano is dead and Spain is broken, spiralling into the deep, blackness of depression. And as he locks himself from the outside world, isolating himself from his friends, from everyone, in his oblivion of pain, Romano find’s he’s the only one who can help. Only, how can useless ghost like him even dream to help the slowly dying love of his life?” (completed)

Dance with me “Lovino Vargas started taking tango lessons completely by accident. Who would have thought that one day he wouldn’t mind those hands roaming over his body? That he would be dancing with his teacher as if there was no one in the room but the two of them?” (on-going)

Fireflies “Lovino was abandoned in Italy with his grandfather at age seven because his parents liked his little brother better than they liked him. On his way back from America, he sits next to a far too happy Spaniard. But, when this childish Spaniard turns out to be his new teacher, what will happen? And with a field trip to Venice on the way, what antics will they get up to?” (on-going)

El Corazón del Pirata “Fate is once kind, twice cruel. And Captain Antonio Fernandez Carriedo does not have a heart, nor does he fall in love with his prisoners. But Lovino Vargas might just be the fuel to his flame - certainly there’s more to him than meets the eye.” (completed)

More Than Lust “Why did the Spaniard always hope for the impossible? That Romano would come to him one day, confessing his feelings, and they would make LOVE? That they would cry out each others names, he could hold the Italian, wake up the next morning, and he would still be there?” (completed)

The Prince and the Pauper “When Prince Feliciano goes missing, it is up to a poor servant boy Romano to step in to take his place and thwart an evil plan to take over the kingdom. However, falling in love was something neither one anticipated. Based off of the Princess and the Pauper.” (completed)

Talking to My Shadow “Lovino spends his life telling doctors about his brother, Feliciano. They hear about his look-alike brother everyday but never see him. Lovino is finally taken to a new physiologist and he meets the doctor’s son, a springy little Spaniard who’s excited to help his new friend, no matter the difficulty. Will this illness mean a life time of seclusion for Lovino or can he win?” (completed)

Spend my time dancing “As much as Lovino loved seeing the upperclassman in his soccer jersey, he’d much rather help him take it off. It’s about time they started playing on the same field. AU. SpaMano. Various others. All’s fair in love and soccer.” (completed)

Maybe, Just Maybe “Romano couldn’t help but be instantly attracted to the stranger on the train, the one with bright green eyes and an unforgettable smile. How could something so simple end up changing his life so much?” (completed)

Dead Alone “Lovino drains the life from anything he touches, seriously. It seems that he’s the embodiment of death while his lively twin brother is his counterpart life. He has isolated himself from everyone, for their own protection. So what happens when a new transfer student decides to take an interest in him his freshman year of high school?” (on-going)

Lovino and the Conquistador “Lovino lived a life of simple pleasures; a good book, his own little world and an odd, but loving, family. However, in order to save his family, he must take their place as prisoner of a hideous beast within a gloomy castle. Based on “Beauty and the Beast” (completed)

Truth Be Told “The Well of Uncomfortable Truths is discovered & deals Spain a hard fact- "Whenever you said you loved him, you didn’t really mean it. You were thinking of his brother. They were empty words.” Can Romano be convinced about whom the Well was talking about?” (completed)

Scaliest “When his entire life is taken from him, Antonio vowed to slay the beast that ruined his life no matter the cost. But on his travels he meets a secretive, sassy bard who might be more helpful than either of them realize. Is vengeance the answer or is there more at stake?” (on-going)

All I’ve lost “Lovino Vargas has slowly fallen into the trap that is Anorexia. He meets Antonio who is a strangely kind kid. Lovino thinks maybe, just maybe…there is hope. Warnings: Depression, anorexia, bulimia, mental illness and bullying.” (completed)

Infection “Antonio didn’t know what to think of the man who randomly showed up in his home… completely naked. Yet, he still found himself drawn to this “Lovino”, only to be thrown into his worst nightmare.” (on-going)

Tomato Angel “What happens when Antonio get’s jealous? (Aftermath of ‘Awesome Being Evil’)” (completed)

Step-Lovers “King Romulus is getting married to Queen Isabel. While the wedding goes smoothly, things don’t go all that smooth for Antonio and Lovino. The heat is especially turned up when it’s decided that there will be a competition for who gets to be heir to the throne.” (completed)

There goes my life “Antonio, 26, a old gourmet chef, a bachelor who’s all party. Lovino a 20 y/o premed student who only has one goal, to be become a doctor. He is determined to let his feelings for the Spaniard fade away, but after receiving devastating news, a drunken one night stand leads to the end of life as Lovino knows it.” (on-going)

Broken Wings, Healed Hearts “Junior Lovino Vargas, a broken angel, has a dark secret he’s determined to keep to himself, now matter how much of an outcast it makes him. But will his new neighbor, Antonio, change that?” (completed)

The Reunion “Light or Dark?” Lovino asked. Feliciano studied him before answering. “Light. Light always wins” When Feliciano Vargas catches the eye of a mysterious man only by the name of “The Lord,” he finds himself and his brother on an adventure ending in Germany’s infamous Black Forest. However, the Lord’s affections are not what they appear to be and Lovino finds himself worried there is a worse threat other than some creep trying to get into his brother’s pants. (on-going)

Slowly But Surely In Love “Lovino Vargas turns fifteen, the age at which the words of peoples’ soul-mates say to them when they first meet is branded onto their wrists. Feliciano has a brand as soon as the hand strikes midnight, but why doesn’t Lovino?” (completed)

Life with Lyrics Lovino Style “Lovino struggles with what he believes is a one-sided crush and his completely oblivious, also entirely too cheerful, brother. Mentions of suicide, but not a death fic!” (completed)

Walking the Line “Maybe stumbling into Walmart in search of supplies during the end of the world wasn’t as good of an idea as Lovino initially thought. Nothing screamed desperate like raiding the aisles of a fucking Walmart for food while a hoard of the undead snarled at him from outside, but that didn’t seem to matter to the armed trio he stumbled into, or more specifically, the odd Spaniard munching on Skittles. His ideas were getting to be pretty lackluster these days.” (ongoing)

Hymn to the Sea “Please, call me Antonio,” he says. “Oh, and Lovino?” “What?” Lovino snaps, a little sharper than he wants when his brain has finally caught up to his embarrassment and he realizes he’s acting like a love-sick child. He finds he still can’t keep up when Antonio’s smile changes into something different: not the friendliness it was earlier nor the comforting warmth it was moments ago. No, this one is affectionate. “I prefer your smile over Feliciano’s any day,” he says, quiet and honest. (completed)

I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You “Throughout the 500 years they spent together, Antonio never stopped reminding Lovino of how special he was, and Lovino never stopped making Antonio the happiest man on earth.” (completed)

Lentamente “Antonio and Lovino are struggling with catastrophic life changes. A traumatic event leaves Antonio scared of his own shadow; a romantic betrayal destroys Lovino’s ability to trust people. And when coping seems impossible, can dance save them?” (completed)

We’d Be Together “Something felt off about Antonio’s new home. The stairs creaked, the windows groaned, and in the mirror he saw a face he didn’t know. The face was young but the gestures old; Toni began a romance untold. He felt an issue new to most… if only he could touch Lovino the ghost.” (completed)

Blessed WIth A Curse “Monsters are real… and they didn’t just hide in your closet or under your bed. Too bad they came in the form of Antonio Fernandez Carriedo- a Spaniard too sexy for his own good. / AU Vampire!AntonioxLovino” (on-going)

Speak  “Lovino is shy. So is Antonio. Oh dear…” (completed)

You Belong With Me “Lovino wished for a lot of things. He wished he had a family or food or fitting clothes or friends but mainly just wished to belong. He doesn’t quite get what he wished for when he meets filthy rich Antonio, who just came from Spain and has settled in the same town as the little thief. Still…it’s a start.” (completed)

The Witch of Sicily “There were still whispers, rumors that the witch of Sicily remained in that forest, cursing all who would come near. It was a place many feared to tread, treated almost as sacred ground. Only fools would dare incite the wrath of the witch by entering that place. Only fools…and pirates.” (on-going)

We the Dreamers “New York City, 1940: Antonio is a recently arrived refugee from Spain, a scarred soldier with firm political convictions. For Lovino, everything is pointless and nothing ever lasts. The two of them live, love and dream desperately, as World War Two threatens to take it all away.” (completed)

Guide Me “After witnessing a startling event, Lovino Vargas finds himself stricken with blindness from a psychological misfortune called ‘conversion disorder’. Without anyone to guide him, he is placed with Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, a novice seeing-eye counselor, who will try to help him regain his sight and if not, teach him how to live in the new dark, lonely world ahead of him.” (completed)

Pirate’s Lullaby “It was the last thing in the world that Lovino Vargas wanted. To fall in love with Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. But when the pirate takes him aboard his ship, Lovino learns that maybe it’s not so bad to be a pirate.” (on-going)

Infamous “Lovino was a childhood actor, but once the show he was a part of got canceled he thought he was free and could leave all the acting and fame up to his brother Feliciano. However, when a 'follow up’ episode is decided upon ten years later, he ends up going back. There he sees a familiar, face; Antonio Carriedo, a singer with his eye on Lovi making normal impossible” (completed)

Guilty Bliss “Lovino has had a drug problem for years that he’s never been able to stop. With his debts getting out of hand, Lovino finds himself in situations that made him wish he had quit.” (completed)

Bottoms Up! “Follow Lovino on his weird and, well, at least quite interesting trip around Europe in order to find out some of the greatest secrets ever about himself, Europe, tomato-shaped alarm clocks and the past of his lovely, but complicated Spanish partner.” (completed)

A Trip To Spain Could Only End In “Lovino is a foreign exchange student in Spain. Things were going just brilliantly before he happened upon a Spanish restaurant in the heart of Madrid where he laid eyes on a certain Spanish Sex God…” (completed)

The Pirates Treasure “Pirate Captain Antonio wants one thing, and one thing only; a mermaid. Boy or girl doesn’t matter, as long as they are royalty and can make him jewels.He’s got his wish, but dealing with this prince is going to be much harder than he thought.” (completed)

Strike a Pose, Fake a Smile “Antonio loves the stage; Romano hates it. So when he’s “convinced” into coming to drama club, he’s not gonna like it. In fact, he’s going to say things that he’ll regret. And because he’s such a good actor, this time Antonio believes him. Uh-oh.” (completed)

A Helping Hand “Antonio owns a cafe low on business. One day a strange boy comes in, running from a group of men and covered in wounds. Antonio offers for him to stay and repay him with work. As payment, the boy Lovino begins to make new dishes to bring more people into the cafe. Who is this boy and why won’t he tell Antonio anything but his name and age?” (completed)

A Beautiful Story “Lovino Romano Vargas is a suicidal designer who is unhappy with his fate. One day, he chances to meet Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, who turns his life upside down.” (completed)

Careless “This year, Antonio had priorities: grades, girlfriend and the Football competition, securing college with his two best friends! But that was before the Vargas moved in with all their drama including kidnapping, threats, and football talents. If anyone asks Lovino, not getting killed would be a clear ecstatic success. He is just what Antonio needed, or not.” (on-going)

This is it for now but I might update this if I get any suggestions, if I remember any fanfic that I missed or if I find any new good ones. If you’re an author and want me to add your fanfic or if you just want to suggest me one don’t be afraid to PM me! (because this is a masterlist after all)

[mnthpprt]

Chapter 45: Skeletons In The Garden

It has been almost a week since I decided to give William a chance. More than that, I decided to earn his trust, no matter what it took. I think I am succeeding so far, but there is a price I have to pay. With every day we spend together in town, with every night we join our bodies into one, we become closer. Just as I have gained his trust, he is beginning to gain mine. I have to constantly remind myself why I came here, but then he looks at me with that smile, that light in his eyes... It takes all my effort not forget the reason I agreed to be with him in the first place.

I sleepily stumble around the kitchen in search of the jar of ground coffee, wearing nothing but William’s dressing gown. I borrowed it again last night to head back to my bedroom and fell asleep in it. Though the sleeves are way too long for me, the fabric is luxurious and soft, and I have taken up the habit of stealing it after our nightly activities.

A few minutes ago, William woke me up without bothering to knock on my door.  He said we were going somewhere, but did not explain any further. I was too tired to ask. Though it is not that early, I have been having more trouble sleeping than usual, and I have the feeling it has nothing to do with my new vampiric condition. Fuck, this man drives me insane in every way possible: I either want to kiss him, break his nose, or both. That last one gets very confusing, and usually ends up involving lots of bites from me, out of anger, and from him, in retaliation. 

I pour a cup for him before taking my coffee up to my bedroom. I stare at my clothes, which are laid out on the bed, as I drink it. I have been putting off returning to the mansion for my stuff, but I do need more dresses. I would also like to resume my research, so I’ll have to borrow some books for that.

When I return downstairs, empty cup in hand and hair loosely braided, William is waiting for me on the sofa. He offers me a bottle of rouge, and I pet Puck as I take it.

“Today is the troupe’s day off,” I observe.

“I know,” he simply replies. Where is he taking me? As if he could read my mind, he smiles and sips his rouge before explaining. “Dost thou remember how I wanted thee to meet someone?”

I nod, but narrow my eyes as the implication sinks in. Either he really trusts me enough to introduce me to his deranged accomplice, or this is his way to get rid of me once and for all. Sure, he has been nothing but charming and sweet since I moved into his house, but this is William. If there is a God, even He doesn’t know what he’s plotting.

An hour later, our carriage pulls up next to an old church. From the outside, I see no signs of it being used. It looks rather abandoned. However, as we approach the entrance, I catch the scent of burning candles, meaning there must be people inside. What is this place?

The wooden door creaks loudly when William pushes it open, just enough for us to pass through. Once inside, he closes it behind us.

“Please lock that, will you?” a man’s voice chimes from the altar. I cannot see him, but I hear glass tinkering behind the decorative screen in the back.

“Do not worry, we shall be quick,” William says, but obliges anyway. Great, now I am trapped here with a stranger who might have killed me.

He takes my hand and guides me down the nave. Our steps echo ominously under the high stone arches, and I have to take a deep breath to relax. Do not show them you are nervous, Anaïs, for they might take it the wrong way. For God’s sake, act normal.

We walk past the altar and into the ambulatory, where the stranger in question seems to have set up a lab of sorts, packed with all kinds of flasks, beakers, and, uh... medical equipment. Creepy. He is slightly taller than William, slender and dressed in clothing as black as his hair, and wears glasses with a chain around his neck.

“What do we have here?” he asks with a malicious grin that gives me shivers. He has a mild German accent. “Is this the neophyte you mentioned? She would make a fine guinea pig...”

“No, thank you.” He raises an eyebrow at my quick reply, while William chuckles and wraps his arm around my waist.

“My nightshade, this is Johann Georg Faust. Johann, meet Anaïs.”

“Faust like the legend?”

“The very same,” William smiles.

“Oh. Nice to meet you, I guess. So, um... What are you doing there?” I ask, pointing at the collection of scribbled on papers and lab equipment.

“Nothing you need to concern yourself with, fräulein Anaïs. I am sure you would find my experiments rather tedious...”

I ignore the condescending tone of his answer. A sculpture behind him has caught my eye. Faust interrupts his deceivingly polite excuse when I march past him to approach it.

“Oh, hell no,” I mumble. “María, cariño, ¿qué te han hecho? (Mary, honey, what have they done to you?)”

 I reach up to touch the Virgin’s gilded coat and, sure enough, the gold leaf crumbles in my fingers, leaving behind a glittery mess. I turn to the bespectacled man, only for my look of indignation to be met with his, equal parts intrigued and offended.

“She’s falling apart! See?” I show the golden dust on my palm to the two men. “I need to fix this before it gets-” Oh no he didn’t. Right beside Faust, on his work table, I see a clean rag neatly folded beside a bottle of clear liquid. ‘Carbolic acid’, the label reads. I bring the cloth to my nose and immediately put two and two together. “You wiped it with phenol?!” I exclaim, incredulous, as I furiously wave the rag around. “I don’t know why you needed to disinfect poor Mary over here in the first place, but for fuck’s sake, don’t do it again. God, no wonder everyone hates this stupid century, y’all discover something and decide to use it for everything without ever thinking about what it might do.”

“Everyone?” William asks, confused.

“This century?” Faust says almost at the same time.

“In my line of work, I mean,” I explain, completely ignoring the second question. I am not sure how safe it would be for me to mention that I come from the future. “Seriously, the amount of damage I’ve had to undo is insane. Why you people use so many questionable compounds is beyond me. Can I borrow a scalpel?”

“You came through the door,” Faust states. Shit, I guess he knows about it.

“Yes, I’m from the future,” I sigh, before grabbing a scalpel myself, not bothering to wait for permission.

I return my focus to the sculpture and carefully examine it. The state it is in is poorer than I had previously noticed. Judging by the proportions, it looks gothic. That makes it around 300 years old at least. Though the passage of time has obviously taken its toll, I have no doubt that its degradation has been made worse by well-meaning yet ignorant attempts at preserving it. Or, in Faust’s case, by his attempt to prep the area for whatever freaky surgical shit he has going on here. I must admit, the fact that he allegedly sold his soul to the devil for knowledge does not exactly reassure me about his intentions.

“The year 2020, to be exact,” I continue as I awkwardly manoeuvre around the sculpture to scrape some paint and gesso off the back in order to check the state of the wood underneath. “I’m guessing you’re not a pureblood... Do you know how to use a shotgun, by any chance?” I ask casually without looking up from my delicate task.

“Is this about Salieri?” Judging by Faust’s tone, I can tell he is rolling his eyes. “That would be Charles,” he sighs. Whoever this Charles is, Faust sounds like a bored babysitter. He has no interest in the conversation whatsoever. “May I have my scalpel back? You’re going to blunt it.”

“I’m almost done.” I manage to cut a cross section just in time to see him approach and forcibly take the sharp object from my hand. I then make my way back to the work table and search for what I need, carefully holding the thin slice of wood and gesso between my fingers. “Do you have a... What are they called, those round looky things with the handle?”

“Magnifying glass,” William aids.

“Yeah, that. Actually,” I change my mind when I see a pile of neatly stacked glass slides, “I’m gonna take one of these. I forgot that microscopes already exist. Where is yours, anyway?”

“Safely locked away,” the alchemist deadpans. Oh well, it looks like I’ll have to save my sample for later, then.

William takes my hand and gently ushers me away from the improvised lab, I assume to stop me from annoying its owner any further. Though he acts polite, I can tell it is nothing more than a weak façade that could drop any second.

“My dearest,” he says, “we should move on to the reason of our visit?”

“Vlad, was it?” I nod. He merely mentioned the name in passing days ago, but I have hung onto that minuscule snippet of information like my life depends on it. It might.

He leads me to a discrete door nestled in the corner of the transept to our left. Before we can reach it, however, Faust calls out from behind the altar.

“I look forward to studying you, fräulein.”

“Well, I do not!” I sing in response. He lets out an unnerving chuckle that I decide to ignore.

I follow William through the door and up a dark staircase. As we walk along the hallway, I get the feeling that he does not know exactly where he is leading me, either. Still, he finds the person he was looking for inside a small room. It looks like it had been used for storage in the past, but now is completely empty save for a desk and a few chairs. The white haired man sitting on one of them looks up when we enter through the already open door. This must be him. The pureblood that is going after the residents.

He is strikingly beautiful, despite the unnervingly red shade of his eyes. Dressed in expensive clothes, he moves elegantly to greet me. I instinctively do the polite thing and offer my hand for him to hold.

“Anaïs Bertran, I presume?” His voice is slightly breathy, and as delicately controlled as his poise. “You are as beautiful as a rose.”

I do not dare to complain out loud, but I give William an exasperated look, causing him to laugh. I smack his arm.

“Stop being a dickhead,” I scold him, even though I have to hold back a smile.

“Ah, I see you have thorns as well,” the other man chuckles. “It is rare for such a pretty flower to be so foul mouthed. I must confess I appreciate it, it adds character. Was that some kind of joke between you two?”

“I guess you could call it that,” I sigh. “I just think there are more interesting flowers to be compared to.”

“Such as?” he prompts.

“I don’t know, lisianthus, dahlias... Sunflowers are pretty nifty, and I’ve always liked orchids. People tend to think they’re really hard to grow, for some reason, but they just need a bit of attention and the right amount of light. Chrysanthemums are also really cool...” I ramble.

“Those are an old favorite of mine, but not as much as roses, I’m afraid. Do you enjoy gardening?”

“Is it that obvious?” I chuckle, embarrassed. “But yeah, I worked as a florist for a few years.”

“Oh?” he smiles. “I own a flower shop in town. I sense we are going to get along well, Anaïs. Oh my, how rude of me! I forgot to introduce myself. You may call me Vlad.”

“Well, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” I politely say before tilting my head. “I have to say, I find it a bit strange to be here, speaking to you. I mean, you sent a sniper after Salieri to stop him from revealing your identity, yet here we are, being formally introduced,” I remark.

“Yes, I am well aware of the incident that took place. Quite a fortunate outcome you got, don’t you think?”

“If by fortunate you mean bleeding out in a sewer, then sure, but I beg to differ.” A cold smile accompanies my response. Not only did dying obliterate any semblance of a schedule I had, it also caused me to be turned into... this. I have nothing against vampires, but I’d rather not go through the pain of being a neophyte, or whatever these people call it. 

“Pardon my crudeness, but isn’t that what happens when you jump in front of a bullet that is not meant for you?” Vlad quips.

“Yeah... That is the stupidest thing I have ever done, can’t argue with that logic,” I mutter, resigned. “By the way, if you’re gonna play with gunpowder inside a tunnel, I’d recommend finding another one that isn’t full of highly flammable methane gas. Just a tip,” I wink.

Our tense exchange is interrupted by a knock on the door frame. Under it stands another man with a boyish smile and shaggy hair.

“I bought those strawberries you- Oh.” He pauses when he sees me, his eyes growing wide in recognition. “Hello there.”

“Are you Charles?” I innocently ask, approaching him. When he nods, I smirk. 

There is no warning when I grab his jacket and shoot my knee into his groin at full force. I hear William’s incredulous snort behind me, along with a muffled chuckle belonging to Vlad.

“Argh, putain!” Charles groans, folding over in pain. I observe him as I wait for him to recover. “Why?” he cries from the floor. I simply pull my dress down to reveal the scar on my cleavage. His mouth opens and closes quickly, not knowing what to say.

“Sorry, just had to get that out of my system,” I explain with no trace in my voice of the violence I just displayed. “I’m Anaïs,” I smile, offering my hand. He takes it, and I pull him to his feet. The boyish grin returns to his face as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck.

“I am so sorry about shooting you, it was an accident. You jumped out of nowhere! I didn’t even want to in the first place, but- Ehem, sorry.”

I follow his gaze when he suddenly interrupts himself with a fake cough. Vlad’s eyes are slightly narrowed in what I can only assume is a look of warning. Okay, something’s going on. Well, yet another thing, on top of the long list of unexplained actions from this strange group of people.

“Don’t worry about it,” I say before the silence becomes awkward, “we’re even now.” I turn to the pureblood and look at him inquisitively. “Anyway, I have a lot of questions. I don’t want to judge until I know exactly what your intentions are for doing whatever it is you’re doing. I have to admit I am finding it hard to keep my emotions under control, so we better get on with it, yeah?”

I do not need to justify my volatile state. Vlad knows perfectly well that he was the one to cause it.

[unibrowzz]

Mod (finally) reviews all 67 winners of the Eurovision Song Contest Part VII (FINALE)- The 2010s

And we’re on the home stretch! Just 10 songs left now.

The 2010s stands as the only decade I watched live and the only decade I haven’t yet rewatched, mainly because I have no interest to. I’ve already seen the contest anyway, if a song didn’t stick with me then, it probably won’t now.

Also prepare for some hotter than usual takes, mostly down to the 10s contests being the most well known due to recency bias. I can say whatever the Hell I want about older contests and what songs I despise from there, but one non-positive comment about Euphoria and suddenly about five butthurt anons appear in my inbox telling me why I’m wrong.

But without further ado, let’s finish these off!

2010: Satellite

Country: Germany

Artist: Lena Meyer-Landrut

Language: English

Thoughts: I used to defend this song a lot, for some reason. I used to get super defensive when people dismissed it as a cheap lazy pop song that shouldn’t have won over (insert song here, but let’s be real here, 99% of the time it’s Turkey's equally cheap lazy emo rock song) and that it robbed so many better entries, blah blah, you know the drill. And I think it’s because it was the first winner I saw as I started properly watching in 2010, so I didn’t want to shit all over the winner that introduced me to the contest. Or maybe it’s that it makes me really nostalgic, or something to that effect. But, dear God, why did I? It’s so… not worth it. I appreciate it for being a much less instrumental-heavy winner, with its skippy, snappy beat and bouncing vocals which sound closer to plain talking than actual singing, but… How many times were the lyrics ran through GoogleTranslate before they were finalised? What’s with the janky, overexaggerated fake-English accent? Why does the singer look embarrassed to be a part of this? Why was this written?  And how the FUCK did it win? It’s so weird and awkward to listen to. It’s the song equivalent of trying to make small talk with that one classmate you never talk to because they’re shy and boring. It’s like listening to an old person laugh half-heartedly at their not-that-funny old person joke. It’s canned laughter in a mediocre sitcom. It’s just an awkward, painful to listen to song that’s made all the more painful by the fact that Germany has sent much better songs that easily could have replaced this as their one post-reunification winner.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? Spain- Daniel Diges- “Algo Pequeñito”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 60th

2011: Running Scared 

Country: Azerbaijan

Artist: Ell and Niki 

Language: English

Thoughts: Look, this one isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. Doesn’t mean it’s good, or that I find it particularly good, but the worst winner of all time? Goodness no, it doesn't even come remotely close. What we have here is a mildly pleasant ballad duet song with a distinctive sad-boyband vibe. Like you can definitely hear the “X-Factor winner’s first cover song” energy just radiating off it from the first few lines. I suppose you could argue that that does make it feel a bit clinical and like it’s trying too hard to be a big hit, but come on, it’s not like this is the first winner like that. The singing is alright; better than half the singing that won in the 2000s anyway, and the male singer especially has a nice voice. The lyrics aren’t exactly poetry, sure, but again, other winners have terrible lyrics as well and don’t receive nearly as much hate as this one does. And… that’s it. Why all the hate? No idea, but I can only assume the people who declare this song to be the worst winner ever haven’t heard anything that won before 2010.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? Denmark- A Friend in London- “New Tomorrow”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 42nd

2012: Euphoria

Country: Sweden

Artist: Loreen

Language: English

Thoughts: Ugh. Listen. This is not a bad song. It’s decent, middle of the table, listenable, marketable, well sung, well performed, well shot. I must stress, this is not a bad song. But the best Eurovision song of all time? Absolutely not. Euphoria is one of the few winners I would describe as “overrated”, and that isn’t a term I use lightly (since it’s overused as Hell), because frankly, I don’t see what people see in this song. Hell, I forgot it completely until the 2012 voting, and further still until mid 2013 when a friend said he liked it. This song left that little of an impression on me that I completely forgot everything about it for a solid year.  And considering how many fans regard this to be one of the best, if not the best song to ever come out of the contest... that baffles me, I just can’t wrap my head around why so many people hold this song up on a pedestal and worship it like it was dropped from the hands of God himself. And I'm not sure if it's because this just isn't a genre I care about, or if it's because this was WAY back when I was a casual fan who didn't follow any of the songs or artists so didn't know who'd be the favourite going in like I do now, and therefore didn’t know to keep an ear out for this one. Or maybe you have to be piss drunk and at a nightclub to really feel the impact of this song. This song triggers absolutely no response from me other than “Oh, a Eurovision song”. I feel no emotion towards it aside from complete indifference. I can’t deny that this song made an impact, it just… didn’t make an impact on me.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Spain- Pastora Soler- “Quedate Conmigo”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 40th

2013: Only Teardrops

Country: Denmark

Artist: Emmelie de Forest

Language: English

Thoughts: Let me ask you a question: What do you get when you sandwich an otherwise decent pop song between two of the most iconic and recognizable winners of the decade? You get this. Only Teardrops is a weird, weird winner to me. On one hand, the fandom acts like it might as well not exist, you go straight from Euphoria to Rise Like a Phoenix, who cares about that filler song which came between them. On the other hand, I know a lot of people who really like it, yet all of them are either very casual fans or not fans at all. So this makes me feel like this song’s main weakness is that it’s too mainstream, at least for Eurovision fans. What are my thoughts? It depends. For one, I enjoy this song a LOT more than Euphoria; I always have done and I’m not ashamed or afraid to admit that. I find this song has a lot more personal appeal, particularly a much bigger finale in my opinion, and being surrounded by people who like this song has admittedly kept me fond of it. BUT, I still wouldn’t necessarily call it a favourite of mine. Maybe a favourite of the 2010s, but not overall. At the end of the day, it’s a little too generic, a little too normal, a little too like every other song you’d hear on the radio. It’s not really a song I find myself coming back to again and again and loving every time, it’s the song I stick on to shut my family up when they want to listen to Eurovision music and I’m too shy to show them the songs I actually really like. It's just a decent song that's unfortunate enough to be stuck in between two more iconic winners, doomed to be little more than the answer in a pub quiz question.  And even though I do prefer this one to some of those icons, and don’t really have anything else to say about it, it’s just enjoyable yet kind of bland.

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or Iceland

If no, what is? Iceland- Eyþór Gunnlaugsson- “Ég á Líf”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 16th

2014: Rise Like a Phoenix

Country: Austria

Artist: Conchita Wurst

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the man who made the entire continent of Europe collectively forget what a drag queen is. What a shitshow that night was. But I'm not here to talk about that, I'm here to rate/say some things about the song, and honestly? This is arguably the most vocally impressive winner from the 2010s. Seriously, there’s nothing I can fault here; this guy’s got some serious pipes. Every time I go back to it I just end up blown away by how powerful and raw this song is. And obviously good vocals alone can’t carry a song forever, otherwise I would’ve had nicer things to say about the early 70s and mid 90s, but with this song the vocals go hand-in-hand with the gimmick. Without the powerful vocals this would just be a knockoff Bond theme sung by a drag queen with a beard, like it’d just be another sensationalist gimmick song to throw onto the pile with all the other gimmick songs. But with the good singing, this has the distinction that it’s a gimmick entry that still had every right to win because the singer was actually competent. Also unlike the 70s winners this one actually has strong emotions tied to it rather than it just being a bunch of pretty French words, so there’s that.

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or the Netherlands tbh

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 17th

2015: Heroes

Country: Sweden

Artist: Måns Zelmerlöw 

Language: English 

Thoughts: Fun fact: I was so bitter this won that I stormed off before the voting was done and cried in my room over it. I hated everything about this song: I hated how Sweden won just three years after their last win, I hated how the staging was just BEGGING people to vote for it, and I ESPECIALLY hated how it beat out the televote favourite because the juries were too busy wanking off to this one to care about anything else. I just despised everything about this song, and it turned me into an obnoxious jury-hater for a solid year.  And yes, I'm extremely embarrassed of all that because honestly this song is fantastic. I would go as far to say it's my favourite Swedish winner, maybe not one of my favourite Swedish entries but definitely my favourite winner of theirs. Everything about this is just so appealing to me, from the brooding intro and vocals, to the lyrics, to the staging, my GOD the staging! It’s one of the best performances of the contest to date; It's impressive without being tacky or try-hard, he interacts with his background, and that little doodle boy character he’s created is adorable. I just love this performance, it’s so mesmerising.

Was this my personal winner for this year? Not then, is now

If no, what was? Then? Serbia- Bojana Stamenov- “Beauty Never Lies”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 11th

2016: 1944

Country: Ukraine

Artist: Jamala

Language: English, some Crimean words

Thoughts: I mean… it’s good until she starts singing. Now I am by all means not an advocate for bringing back the old language rule, but songs like this sure as Hell make me one. This should have been left entirely in Crimean. Simple as that. The English lyrics are bloody awful, no way to sugarcoat it, and absolutely annihilate the potential this song is otherwise seething with, because the instrumental to this song is fantastic and the chorus and climax give me goosebumps. The performance at the contest was chilling as well; a perfect blend of both simple yet flashy staging to set up a really uneasy atmosphere that compliments the song perfectly but, God, the lyrics are bad, man, especially for such a serious song about a personal topic.  That said, it's still the only song in the 2016 top 3 that seemed winner-worthy, unlike Australia's obvious Jurybait and Russia's obvious Telebait. So… it has that. 

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? France- Amir Haddad- “J’ai Cherché”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 57th

2017: Amar Pelos Dois 

Country: Portugal 

Artist: Salvador Sobral 

Language: Portuguese (Translation: “Both of us”)

Thoughts: I still question why it took Portugal until 20-fucking-17 to even reach the top five, but that's a rant for another day.  Not that this is a rant, far from it. Anybody who knows me knows that I love this song after all, and that it’s one of the few winners I remain rather defensive of, though that’s mostly down to the amount of hate this song and its singer receive.  I will defend Sal and his hot takes on pop music until I die. Now I’ll admit, this song surprised me in more ways than one. Namely by actually winning the televote; given how this song has split opinions clean down the board as to whether it’s spine-tinglingly beautiful or soul-crushingly boring, I was expecting it to come mid-table in the televote whilst some other country swiped first. Yet somehow it managed to stomp the televote just as hard as it stomped the jury vote. I guess I wasn’t the only person this struck a chord with after all. Also, I can’t be the only one who thinks this is a perfect dance song? Like it’s great for ballroom, or contemporary. It’s so dreamy and flowy, and I usually HATE dreamy flowy songs, yet this one just resonates with me for some reason and I’m not sure why.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 4th

2018: Toy

Country: Israel

Artist: Netta Barzilai

Language: English, some chicken noises, cringe

Thoughts: And here we have another case for bringing back the language rule, because if this song had a Hebrew version I would 100% listen to it more often. When I heard Israel was sending an, ahem, "feminist anthem" about the #MeToo trend on twitter, my first reaction was "ew". When I heard it was the favourite to win, my reaction was also "ew". And when I heard the song for the first time? "Hm, not as bad as I thought."  And also "ew". This song is just embarrassing. I’m embarrassed listening to it, I’m embarrassed watching it, and I’m embarrassed when someone mentions it when I’m trying to convince them Eurovision actually has good music. You can just tell from the first few lines that it was written by middle aged men trying to shill themselves out to gullible young women who think listening to a song by some Israeli DJ “empowers” them.  And let’s be honest here: “empowering” is just media speak for “shit”. The only thing stopping me from putting it at the VERY bottom is the instrumental and performance because without the cringy lyrics you’re left with a pretty good club song, and I swear to God Netta Barzilai could sell herself sneezing for 3 minutes. If “Toy” had been entirely in Hebrew I would’ve given it a pass, and maybe a cheeky vote or two.  But, alas, that was not to be.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? Italy- Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro- “Non mi Avete fatto Niente”

Personal ranking (out of 67):  64th

2019: Arcade

Country: The Netherlands

Artist: Duncan Laurence

Language: English

Thoughts: You know, in my 9 or so years watching the contest, I don’t think I’ve ever felt genuinely ecstatic watching a song win. Most of the time I either feel neutral (most of them) or a more general, content kind of happy (2014 and 2017). Like I’ve never let out a shout of joy and slid on my knees across my living room floor in sheer, blind happiness. But that’s what I did with “Arcade”. I’m not really sure why that is because, I must confess, it wasn’t my personal winner of the night, and, looking back, I preferred other songs, but… God, I just can’t explain how overwhelmingly happy I was when this song won. I’m not sure if it’s because I was alone or if I was rooting for this deep down (or if it’s because it was between this song or fuckin’ Sweden again). But that’s by the by. How’s the song? Honestly? Really good. One of my favourites of this decade, if I’m honest. It’s the kind of song that’s grown on me a lot since the night of the contest; even though it wasn’t my favourite song from 2019, I’m not mad at all at it winning.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Honestly I had about 10

If no, what is? I could list them if you want

Personal ranking (out of 67):  6th

[marvel-ousnesss]

The pirate and the witch (part one)

Pairing: Harry Hook x daughter of Narissa!reader

Word count: 2477

Summary: Y/N, an orphan VK who was taken to Auradon at a young age, returns to her old home by request of the crown prince. However, things tend to go south at the Isle of the Lost. 

Warning: Mild cursing 

A:/N: Okayy, here goes nothing. This is my first fic and I'm really excited about it. Comments and feedback (and title suggestions 'cause I suck) are appreciated. I think the whole story might have five or six parts which I'll be posting ASAP. 

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE DISNEY DESCENDANTS CHARACTERS NOR THE SANDERSON SISTERS. All credit goes to the creators, writers, and producers. Same with the HP charms, credit goes to J.K Rowling. 

Part two       Part three         Part four       Masterlist

I can’t believe I agreed to do this. Of all places, it had to be the Isle of the Lost. I look at the empty sky as I waltz my way through the lonely, and dark alleys; desperately trying to forget that the clock is about to strike midnight. 

Even though I’m currently in one of the scariest places that I can actually think of, I pay attention to every detail as I walk. Particularly, I notice the poor construction of the buildings and the few people that I see asleep against walls or trash containers. Every minute that goes on here makes me wanna go back, yet I’m motivated to help make this a better place — or, at least that's what I tell myself. 

Last week, my friend Ben approached me after a meeting he had with his father. He wouldn’t stop talking about how terrible the conditions at the Isle are and insisting on doing something about it before the preparations for his coronation. So we talked to my parents, the king and queen of Maldonia, and concluded that we needed to see the situation first hand to come up with a good set of solutions. But, given that Ben’s parents would never let him go, I begged mine to allow me, arguing that I could blend in, being a VK myself. 

I grew up in Auradon, and not on the Isle, because my mother died years ago, in another realm. According to Fairy Godmother, she was one of the most dangerous villains ever seen, and one of the evilest. Yet, instead of abandoning my on the Isle, like most would have done, —and after some arguing between royals— the king and queen of Auradon allowed Queen Tiana and King Naveen to raise me as their daughter; but I never forgot the piece of The Isle that runs through my veins. 

By this, I mean my magic. According to my parents, my mother was a very powerful witch. So, when I turned twelve and officially celebrated eight years on Auradon, I asked the king and queen for permission to learn magic; which they granted, under very specific parameters. 

Since my powers have a dark nature, or so says Fairy Godmother, she asked the three forest fairies, Fauna, Flora, and Merryweather, to tutor me at their cottage —this being the only place where I’m allowed to use my powers. 

….. 

I arrive at the small loft —or should I say hideout— that the royal guard of Maldonia had prepared for me, and take off my black cloak, setting it on the bed, right next to the few notes I have taken. Finally, after the longest day that I’ve had in a while, I let myself fall on the firm bed and drift off to sleep. 

Woken up by the sound of my alarm, I get up and get ready, repeating the steps of my plan like my life depended on it —who knows, it may. 

Fairy Godmother warned me about the gang rivalry that has been going on for a while and told me about some VKs who have shown to be the most dangerous. 

The one she talked about the most is Mal, daughter of Maleficent. Apparently, she is the leader of the most feared squad of the Isle; which happens to be formed by none other than the children of Jafar, Cruella de Vil, the evil queen, and well, Maleficent. 

Aside from them, the headmistress mentioned the pirate crew that hangs near the docks, which is the biggest competition for the so-called ‘Core Four’. It’s most known members are Uma, Ursula’s daughter; Gil, son of Gaston; and Harry Hook, Captain Hook’s son (obviously). According to my notes, Uma is the captain and Hook is her loyal first mate. 

I should be fine, as long as I stay away from their little gang battle. But, being as stubborn as I am, I decide that being part of this will be the ultimate Isle experience. 

I do my best to blend in as I stroll down the market and grab a few things, earning a few glares and weird looks as I pay for them. I don’t like being the center of attention, so I put on my hood and avoid all eyes. Preparing to head back, I grab a small bread loaf from a stall to my right and, when the woman behind it is about to protest, I hand her a few gold coins. 

Then, I abandon the market, unaware of the two sets of eyes that I have on my back, those belonging to a certain Arabian young thief and the son of Cruella de Vil. 

I become aware of their steps lurking behind me when I’m a few blocks away from the market, so I walk faster and then I find myself running from them. I manage to keep them quite far until the two of them jump their ways to the ceilings above me. 

I curse Fairy Godmother for not telling me about Carlos’ talent with parkour. She said he was dangerous because of his way with technology, nothing more. Yet, here I am, running from a thief and a thirteen-year-old geek who happens to be a fucking ninja. 

I run and run, without looking up or behind me. I’ve always been pretty active, so I lose them after a few minutes. Nevertheless, I don’t stop running and continue in whatever direction my feet are taking me. 

…… 

I should’ve taken a right. That way, I would’ve arrived at my place ten minutes ago; but my dumb ass decided to take a wrong turn so I ended up in the Sanderson sisters’ hut. And, just before I turned on my heel to make an exit, I find the three awful witches standing right in front of me, displaying wicked and hungry grins.

—What have we here?— inquires the redhead, — seems like today’s our lucky day, sisters. They’re both a teeny tiny bit big, but that’s what you get here. Kids are running out these days. 

I try to run but my feet fail me, and I feel an electric shock running through me before blacking out. The last thing I hear is a chorus of excited voices singing ‘double food delivery, double food delivery,’ and a strong thunder of psychotic laughter. 

I wake up in a small, round cage that hangs from a bronze chain, next to a boy who I recognize as a member of Ursula’s daughter’s pirate crew. What’s his name? Henry, Howard, Helio? Harry, the first mate, that’s it! Anyway, I look around for a possible exit, but find nothing but the front door, which is right next to the cauldron and the three witches —who remain oblivious to me being awake. 

Minutes go by and they remain carried away by whatever they are brewing; at least until my cage mate decides to wake up all grumpy. 

—Hit my nappeer, them howling witches…— he grumbles, trailing off; but it seems enough to draw their attention. 

With wide eyes and wicked grins, they make their way to us with their arms intertwined. When they are close enough, the youngest takes a look at us and licks her lips and the raven-haired one pushes her nose against the bars and sniffs us, sighing in content when she’s had her fill.

— They’re so cute, Winnie, can we keep them, pretty please?— she asks, jumping in her place a couple times. 

—You can play with them until the potion is ready, but not a second more. Do remember, — she sing-songs. — Youth and beauty, beauty and youth. 

—Hear that? We’re gonna have a good time!— States the ebony-haired witch, as she pokes Harry, who’s still semi-conscious, with a wooden stick. That seems to fully wake him 

— Oi, watch it!— he hisses while trying to dodge the harmless, yet annoying tip. He doesn’t have much success due to the lack of space, which amuses me a bit.

—Ooh… a feisty one! — grins the blonde one. —Too bad we can’t keep you, handsome; it would’ve been delicious. 

The look on her face seems to be full of physical hunger, but I detect a not so faint tint of lust in her demeanor. The reason why, with those words and the witch’s obvious intentions, my face contours in disgust, which I immediately regret. 

—What’s your problem, dear one— she says, as she surrounds the cage, — don’t like me talking ‘bout your little boyfriend like that? Didn’t mommy teach you to share?—. When she’s right behind me, she sneaks a bony hand through my hair and grabs a fistful, to which I reply with a groan. 

As she is about to continue the teasing, Winnifred calls her sisters. 

—We can’t feed them the potion yet — she scowls.

—Well, duh… my playtime hasn’t finished— replies the blonde. 

—no, Sarah, were missing the knotgrass, the fluxweed, and the rat foot— clarifies the third sister, with her pointy nose buried in the cauldrons aroma, — it hasn’t turned green yet. 

—At least one of you isn’t completely dense. Come on, sisters, off to the market we go. 

As if on cue, they head to the door and close it behind them.

A faint ‘don’t go anywhere’ is heard from outside, followed by another chorus of wicked laughter. 

…….. 

—Gaunnie hook ‘em— spits the pirate, stretching his arm in a miserable attempt at grabbing the hook that lays on the floor beneath us. 

I shrug, and then proceed to peak my nails, — Might wanna get out of here first, Hooky. 

—Any ideas on how, lassie?— he asks between gritted teeth, growing impatient and tired of failing at hook fishing. 

— A few, actually, but the sight of you in front of me, struggling like that, is quite lovely and entertaining. 

With my comment, his demeanor changes completely, becoming cockier and self-assured. This, although he’s still desperately trying to recover his signature weapon. 

—Then come to the docks with me,— he smirks, as he changes positions to find himself sitting in front of the lock, and begins picking it with a rake that he had inside his left boot, — we’ll get hammered with me crew and, you know, keep the heid. 

As he works,  his nose wrinkles, his brows come together in concentration, and his lips tighten in a thin line. 

 —As tempting as that sounds, I do have things to do.

It would be convenient to go with him. Ben and King did me specific instructions for my little trip, and this would make it easier. However, it just wouldn’t be my type of scene. I feel like I’ve had enough ‘new experiences’ for a few years, maybe.

—Aww, lass, ya hurting my feelings,— he fake pouts and, to no avail, tries to use a different rake. 

 —Feelings? Didn’t see that one coming,— I mock, gently pushing him to the side, and claim my turn with the tricky lock. 

He’s about to complain, but I shush him and close my eyes. Due to the wards placed on the Isle, my magic is significantly weaker than it is on Auradon, but I can concentrate enough to channel it thanks to a locket that the king gave me for emergencies. 

I grin as the cage opens itself, and immediately jump down, followed by my slightly shocked companion. Before he can, I grab the hook by the handle, and point the tip at him, just to swiftly turn it around for him to grab. 

With his hook safely in his hand, he approaches the table and grabs a book, together with what seems to be a shell necklace. Then, he catches up with me outside the front door. We walk in silence for a few blocks, given that there is only one way out, and he breaks the silences that lingered between us. 

—So, you know me name, yet I don’t know yours— he glances at me with curiosity and caution, —ain’t fair, lassie. 

—What can I say, Hook, you are quite famous around here. I, on the other hand, am quite a lone wolf.

—Haven’t given me an answer yet, doll face,

— Name’s Y/N, daughter of queen Narissa.

—Y/N,— he tries it out, —and how come you have magic?

—Let’s say I found a loophole in the barrier. 

—Uma’s gonna love this, — he says, giving me a smirk. 

—Assuming I go with you, that is. I said I had things to do — I quirk a brow at him. 

Before he can reply, we hear three sets of boots approaching us in a rhythmic pattern. It can only be them. 

— Shit, — grumbles the pirate, then he grabs my arm and pulls me behind him and into a dark corner. 

We remain silent as the steps die down, and then continue walking. 

—Now that was close, thanks Harry,— I say, patting his left shoulder. 

—Ya know how to properly thank me, lass,— he shrugs. His cockiness is beginning to become annoying but, to be honest, I cannot say that I don’t enjoy flirting. So, I decided to follow his game. 

—Kind of sad, really,

— Away on, dollface, the hell ya mean by that? 

I give him a sigh and shrug, — I just thought your game was better. Can’t believe that you sway every girl off her feet with a thick accent and a smirk. 

— I did just save yer little witchy ass. You’re a buck eejit if that ain’t impressive. 

— Not a ‘buck eejit’, whatever that shit means. — I chuckle dryly, — I’m just not gonna fall for your oh so great pirate act. 

He shrugs, seemingly unbothered, — same here, doll, mysterious past ‘n shit gets boring real fast.

— Yet, here you are, still following some like a lost puppy. 

Between flirting, bickering, and some laughter in between, we arrive at the corner that connects the docks to the way to my place. 

— As much as I enjoy your gentlemanly antics, time to part ways. 

— You’ll come to the ship tonight, I know it. 

— You know, you’re not even my type, Harry— I claim. 

He is kind of my type, you know? Handsome, witty, cocky, and fun to be with. Not totally boyfriend material, but maybe just for a good time; a rest from Auradon’s Perfect Peachy Prince wannabes. 

Without a second glance, I start walking to the building I slept in but, before I’m out of view, I hear him say,—You do one me one, little witch,— and I grin. 

— See you ‘round, Hook, — I reply over my shoulder.