#in which i accidentally basically end up writing the fic anyway

[shootingstarpilot]

☔

for the wip ask game!

ask game

my FAVE <333

ok so this is a fic i might actually write at some point, because i have Feelings about the jedi being a family and anakin's apparent insistence that biological ties overrule all.

(also mace is still obi-wan's finder in this because I LOVE HIM)

so. obi-wan's from stewjon. we know very little about stewjon canonically, so for the sake of this fic, it's an isolationist planet that is extremely hostile to force-sensitives. mace rescued toddler obi-wan from an attempt by town elders to drown him. obi-wan's the only stewjoni jedi in the order. they don't know if this is because stewjon doesn't have a high percentage of force-sensitives or if it's because those who are born force-sensitive don't usually make it off the planet.

but mace has his suspicions.

which is why he's really, really not pleased when the senate forwards orders a request for a jedi to wrangle separatist sentiment on stewjon. they will only accept a stewjoni jedi. if they must have one of those demons on planet, then they want someone who's at least tentatively connected to the planet. it's meant to be a diplomatic mission. but it's one of those diplomatic missions that seems like it will end in blasterfire.

so both the 501st and 212th both end up heading to stewjon.

cody and the 212th are slightly twitchy. their general has a really bad habit of getting kidnapped / horrifically injured / running off so they can't watch his back, and he's told them about stewjon and his particular background with the planet, so they're... hm. ready for anything.

(also ofc this is codywan because i am who i am.)

anakin is a whole other story.

he is simply thrilled, and he makes no secret of it. he can't wait to meet obi-wan's real family, he keeps saying. wonder if they're as stubborn as you, right, obi-wan? is this where you got your love of tea from? i can't wait to meet your real parents, obi-wan- do you have siblings, do you know?

obi-wan, meanwhile-

i don't know if they're stubborn, he says. i don't remember them.

i got my love of tea from master qui-gon, he says. he taught me how to brew and how long to steep and brought me to the best shops on the lower levels.

i do have siblings, he says. you've met them. you've met quinlan and bant and luminara and-

anakin won't hear it.

ahsoka starts spending more time around obi-wan. she asks him more questions about his padawanship. about master qui-gon. about his crechemates. all in an effort to ease some of the tension from his shoulders. and it works! he tells her, and anyone else who wants to listen, and the room is filled with disbelieving laughter and i have to ask general vos for pictures, sir, i won't believe this without proof-

and then they arrive on stewjon.

blah blah plot happens, anakin is stubbornly ignoring everything obi-wan says about the jedi being his family because, well, of course he would say that, he doesn't know what it's like to have a proper family, a real family-

then, a few days after their arrival, an elderly couple approach anakin.

they're obi-wan's parents, they tell him. they've been looking for him for ages. he clearly loves you, young man- well, as much as he can, we know what those jedi are like- could you please help us set up a meeting with him?

and anakin thinks-

i knew it.

of COURSE they were looking for him. of COURSE they still wanted him, of COURSE they still loved him- obi-wan simply didn't know, or maybe he'd been misinformed, but no one should ever have to live without the love of a parent-

so he says yes.

when he brings the matter up to obi-wan, obi-wan tells him absolutely not.

(but obviously, obviously, he just doesn't know-)

so he sets up a meeting anyway. lies to obi-wan, lies to the others, and tells the parents the truth. they clasp his hands, teary-eyed with gratitude- thank you, thank you, they tell him, we just want our son back, and anakin walks away feeling so supremely pleased with himself-

a couple of hours later, cody asks him if he's seen obi-wan.

he's not picking up his comm, cody says, brow furrowed. we'll be late for the next meeting.

anakin tells him, then. reassures him. leave them alone for a bit, will you? they haven't spoken to each other in years. it's bound to be emotional.

cody stares at him.

yes, sir, he says. of course, sir.

anakin claps him on the shoulder and walks off. cody watches him go.

then he turns around and breaks into a run.

the room is empty, when he arrives, and there are broken needles on the floor.

cody doesn't need to have them tested to know he'll find traces of force suppressants.

(like poison, his general had told him, and being blinded all at once. like having your heart torn clean out of your chest.)

he has them tested anyway.

he's right.

cody, technically, outranks general skywalker. this is the first time he's ever taken advantage of the fact.

stuff happens. they find him. he is...

Not In Good Shape.

(the demon must be torn out by force. drowned out. beaten out. they only wanted their son back.)

do you understand? they cry, as troopers force them to their knees, as doors are blown open, searching- we only wanted our son back!

anakin holds his saber to their throats and snarls you lied, you lied, you told me you loved him-

of course we do, they say. of course we do. we're his family.

obi-wan doesn't want to talk to anakin, when he wakes up three days later in the medbay. he doesn't even want to see him.

he wants his family. he wants to go home.

[cinnamon-bunni]

NOT okay right now im thinking abt pokemon leaving scars on their trainers + everyday, domestic problems.....

[binniesbooks]

heyyy!! congratulations on your first fic! loved every bit of it. so i have a request and it’s a bit of a long one so be prepared:

beomgyu has basically been hitting the gym recently and you can evidently tell that he’s been bulking up a bit. while he’s a the gym one time, the reader is taking a nap but ends up having a wet dream on riding beomgyu’s newly formed abs and whilst she’s dreaming of this she’s humping the bed irl and ends up cumming just from this which wakes her up to see beomgyu staring at her from the doorway. beomgyu then fucks the reader real hard and he also lets her ride he abs lost workout as if he had seen her dream where she cums/squirts in his abs (if you’re comfortable writing it if not that’s okay too).

hope you made it to the end cos this one is quite long and specific :)

can’t wait to read more of your fics!

• RIPPED AND READY

BG 001 .F23 2024

wc 2.6k

pairings bff!beomgyu x fem!reader

warnings unprotected sex, lot of curses again, squirting, abs riding (+anything I've missed)

faye's note First of all thank you so much for reading and enjoying my first ever fic. ㅠㅠ To be honest, I wasn't expecting anything that much when I started this blog, but now? I'm loving the hell out of it! Please enjoy this too, thank you again! And oh, please do not worry if you are dropping specific elements on your request, it'll help me come up with a brighter idea I guess. And also, I'm apologizing at this very moment for not being able to expand it more >_<

"Hey, I'll hit the gym with Taehyun again later, but I think we will be going earlier than usual. We planned to drag Soobin hyung along with us." Beomgyu announced after knocking on your open door.

You turned around from your seat to face your best friend as you pulled your earphones out. "Hmm, is that so? Then I'll just hoard the snacks in the kitchen to myself." You answered, chuckling as you turned off the video playing on your computer which he responded with a playful roll in his eyes.

"You should be the one being dragged to the hell pit of the gym, not your cousin." He joked, accusingly. You frown as you pull your shirt to your back for it to hug your waist showing him the perfect curve of your body. "Excuse me but, I may not be hitting the gym, I am more than good than my lanky cousin." You bite back. "Consider yourself lucky that I am not going to the gym or you might be head over heels for me." You added as you stuck out your tongue.

"This girl really." he shook his head, smiling.

"Anyway, are you sure you can drag Soobin along with you?" you chuckled remembering how your cousin, Soobin, hates physical activities so much.

"We will try. Soobin hyung is lazy but we will try to persuade him." Beomgyu sighed and massaged his temple thinking about ways how to persuade the older guy. "Anyway, is there something you want me to buy later before going home?" He asked, leaning on your door frame.

"Hmm, can you buy some pasta? 'll make us Mac and Cheese when you are back." You answered, turning your swivel chair on both sides continuously.

Beomgyu glanced at your digital clock. It shows it is already 2 in the afternoon. He spoke once again. "You should take a rest for now. If you do it any later, you won't be able to sleep tonight again. You are being too engrossed on your latest K-pop obsession." You just simply nodded at him as he slipped out of your room and closed the door behind you.

Beomgyu has been your friend for a while now. You and him share the same apartment. It started when you two were still in your freshmen year, both looking for an apartment to stay in when you accidentally bumped into him on the corner of the street, the reason why you too became friends. Turns out that your cousin, Soobin, is also a long-time friend of his.

Just like your cousin, Beomgyu used to hate physical activities too. Hating on the simple thought of working out. But after your encounter with his other friend, Taehyun, he then started hitting the gym, claiming that you might change your best friend to Taehyun instead of him. It was because you were talking non-stop about how Taehyun had such a good body build even when he was a year younger than the both of you. He never heard the end of it until when he decided to give the gym a visit and started working out.

So these days, he became a gym buddy with his friend. You can tell that he's been bulking up a bit and it is evident. You can see how the sleeves of his shirt became a little bit tighter than usual, the material hugging the trained muscles of his arms. A few times, you also saw his newly formed abs whenever he uses white shirts. You were actually in awe of how he did this in a short period of time and also out of jealousy at your friend.

You already spent hours scrolling through social media, watching music videos, and reading fanfiction about your favorite K-pop group. It was almost four in the afternoon when you decided to take a nap to recharge, after being too immersed in the newly released episodes of your faves.

A picture of Beomgyu coming home from the gym flashed in your memory before you dozed off. Unable to figure out why he keeps popping up in your mind these days.

Beomgyu also left around that time. He usually leaves at 5 in the afternoon, but after the plan with Taehyun, they thought it might be better to go earlier to have an ample amount of time to persuade the lazy lanky guy.

Beomgyu was able to drag their friend along with them to the gym. On the other hand, you kept on squirming and whining in your sleep. Your body was burning hot and your breath hitched.

Your mind was full of Beomgyu's image. His body build and his mesmerizing gaze. He likes to stare at you most of the time, but you didn't pay any mind to it because you knew he was just teasing you.

You dreamt of holding him in person, of feeling his soft lips on yours and his strong arms around your body. If someone was near you right now, they could feel the heat radiating off your body. Your mind kept on circling on the idea of holding Beomgyu close to you. Where you can hear his breath against your ears and him speaking to you with his usual deep voice.

Half asleep, you felt a warmth spreading through your body, and you realized you were having a wet dream about Beomgyu, about your roommate slash best friend.

You continued squirming, thrashing, and moaning as you humped the bed, imagining that it was Beomgyu's hard abs that you were riding. You could feel your release building, as you called out Beomgyu's name as you came.

You were still whining, still coming down from your high. Your eyes fluttering and chest heaving. When you turned your gaze towards the other side of the room, you were startled to find Beomgyu standing in front of the door, watching you with a smoldering gaze, hands tightly gripping the door handle.

You felt embarrassed, as the memory of you humping on the bed replayed in your mind.

"H-how long were you standing t-there?" You stuttered, voice barely above a whisper. But Beomgyu just smiled and said, "I hope you don't mind if I join you." He walked towards you as he dropped his gym bag in the doorway.

Before you could respond, Beomgyu was on top of you already, kissing you deeply and making you forget all about your dream. You could feel his hard length pressing against you, and you wriggled with pleasure as he grind against you.

Beomgyu broke the kiss and looked down at you with a wicked smile. "I've meant to ask this for a while, do you want to ride my abs?" he asked, and you couldn't help but nod eagerly. Your cheeks heating up at the idea.

Beomgyu lifted you, removing your shorts and undies in one swift motion, and placed you on top of him, his hard abs rippling beneath yours. You can't help but moan as you felt Beomgyu's hardness rubbing against your cunt. He hiked his shirt up to his chest exposing his abs he's been working on. "Sit tight, hold on to me." He commanded as he held your waist and moved you up a bit to his abdomen.

You started to ride him, grinding your hips against his abs as he kissed and touched you. You can feel the vibrations from how he groans. You also did not hold yourself back, moaning in his mouth from the familiar yet new sensation you were feeling. The kiss you shared was hot and messy. You pulled away for a while as you looked down at him. He looks so hot and sexy biting his lips. You could feel yourself getting closer and closer to release, and Beomgyu's breath hitched as he felt the tightness of his sweats. With one final movement from you, you were squirting on his abs.

Your eyes widened as your body shuddered, totally surprised by what happened.

"Fuck." is the only thing Beomgyu was able to say as he watch it flow from his abdomen down to your sheets. He leans his head back on the pillow as he bites his lips once again. "S--sorry Beomgyu. I.. I did not mean to." he chuckled at your reaction. how you stutter as you apologize to him.

"I have no problem with this, angel. If anything, I fucking love this." he reached out to your sensitive nub as he moves his thumb in a circular motion. You yelped almost falling as you squirmed at his touch. He's been staring at you, smirking, loving your reaction to his touches and words.

"Have I ever told you you are so pretty?" he tilts his head looking up at you, his hand coming to a halt. With blown-out eyes, you tried to look at him in the eyes, "Y-you always d-do. B-but I know... I know you are just t-teasing me." your voice came out strained and breathing ragged.

He placed his hands on your waist again, rubbing it with his thumb. "Damn sexy. Has even the audacity to show off this morning." You covered your face with the back of your one hand as you held on to his thing, leaning back.

"Have you never realized that I am a man and you are a woman? What makes you brave enough to show me your curves like that?" He got up, leveling his face to yours, as he removed his shirt, discarding it on the side. Beomgyu gently tugged at the hem of your shirt, silently asking you to discard it, and you gladly obliged with shaky hands.

He pushed your hair back, getting a full exposure of your neck. His Adam's apple bobbed when he gulped at what it was in front of him.

He held your nape as he kissed your neck. Practically making out with your exposed skin. You can feel him bucking his hips up at you.

"You-you're just supposed to, ahh, w-wake me up, Gyu. I-i am s-supposed to cook something f-for y-you, hng." You whined as your slender fingers gripped on his dark locks.

"And you're also supposed to dream about me that it goes to the extent where you are humping your bed?" You swore you felt the edge of his lips turned up on your neck, picturing the smug look on it.

"I-i.." You have no words to say. No words escaping your mouth other than moans, whimpers, whines, and your best friend's name. You kept on chanting it as his kisses moved down to the valley of your breast. "I've been avoiding seeing you braless in your shirt in this goddamn apartment and here you are." He sighed. "Seeing your perked-up nipples poking out on your thin clothes makes me wanna pounce on you, countless times." He was practically confessing while devouring your chest, leaving love bites that ranged from small to big and dark ones.

You can't stop squirming on his words, grinding on his hard length. Beomgyu has been releasing soft groans and grunts as you grind above him. He wasted no more time when he flipped you back, pinning you below him. Being manhandled is one thing, but being manhandled by Beomgyu is another.

His big hand is able to hold both your wrist above your head. You bit your lip as your eyes traveled down to his abs. You've been wanting to touch it with your lips. Your dream about riding it became real, maybe a simple marking is nothing bad at all?

"Gyu, can I kiss your abdomen, please?" You pleased silently. He dips down his head for a while to plant a soft kiss on your lips before pulling away and kneeling. Both of his knees are supporting his upper body as he urges you to give it a shot. "Come, mark what's yours." The smirk plastered on his face is annoying yet you're loving it.

You crawled near him as you held on his waist. Planting soft kisses on his clenching abs. "Fuck.." he softly whispered, holding your head. "Your tongue is hot." Almost a complaint, yet he urged you more to bite and mark him. You continued on your ministration, leaving bite marks and dark red spots on his abdomen. He can't help himself but look up, gulping down the moans that wanted to come out of his mouth. "Baby. I can't take it anymore." His voice cracked. Your eyes were overwhelmed with tears for holding back so much.

Without warning, you moved up, licking his prominent Adam's apple. Sucking on it as if your life depends on how much you can take him. He's not liking it anymore. He does not like the fact that he is almost gonna burst with just your mouth and tongue roaming around his body.

This time, he did not hold back. He pushed you, flipping you around, lifting your ass. "Angel, I've been patient for a while now. I can't take it anymore." He said as he hovered above your back. "Please, Gyu" you whimpered as you move your ass back on his bulge. He winces. The sensation on his cock is too much. He needs to feel you now before he bursts. He cannot waste the moment.

He slips off of his sweats as he rubs his leaking tip on your wet cunt. Slowly sliding in, a few more curses can be heard from him, living the moment he is in. You were biting the sheets with how thick he is, stretching you. "Agh, you're so fucking tight!" He grunts near your red ears.

He stilled for a while when he was fully inside you. "Am I hurting you? Or I'm stretching you so good?" He smirked. "You feel so good, Gyu. Never thought you'd be this big." You forcefully shut your eyes, whimpering at his length and size. He peppered your back with kisses. Leaving hickeys on some parts. "You can move now. I'm okay." You assured him as you looked back at him. "How are you this sexy? I might cum just by the sight of you." He started to move slowly. Purposely doing it to make you feel every vein of his cock.

You were gripping so hard at the sheets, your eyes flowing with so many tears when he started to move at a faster pace. The slapping sound of your skin echoed through your room. The steam almost blurs the windows out. Grunts, high-pitched whines and whimpers, moans, and chanting of names are being mixed up as Beomgyu held a handful of your hair to take control, fucking your naughty dreams away.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum, can you give me one first?" Like a clockwork, you're gushing down once again, this time on his cock. He did not want to make you pregnant yet. As much as he wanted to cum inside you and fill you with babies, he mentally punched his head to wake himself up.

Few more thrusts, a sensitive action for you, and he pulled out, cumming instead at your ass. "Shit! Fucking hell!" He groans as he pumps himself a few times. You let your body fall on your bed, your legs shaking. Beomgyu pulled you closer, bodies shuddering with pleasure. He planted soft and gentle kisses on your forehead as he pulled you, flushed on his chest.

"I'm gonna keep going to the gym, only if you'd ride me forever like what you did." He whispered. You're just glad you buried your face on his chest or he might have noticed how red as a tomato you were.

As he lay you in his arms, both of you were smiling, riding could nine. Beomgyu knew you would never forget this moment, and he couldn't wait to see what other adventures he might have with you in the future. Maybe still as a friend? Or maybe... just maybe... more than friends.

[lixiesfreckless]

Forgive Me | k. sm.

➸ synopsis: the truth was that you cared about each other in all the ways you really weren’t allowed to.

➸ starring: kim seungmin x female reader

➸ word count: 1.2k

➸ general content: butler!seungmin, duchess!reader, forbidden love, I guess this is a royal au lmao

➸ rating: teen+

➸ author’s note: another old fic but MAN as much as I claim to scream and cry for royal aus, I hardly ever write them smh

♫ perilous path- yu-peng chen, hoyo-mix(basically from the genshin impact soundtrack)

“Must you follow me into restricted areas as well?”

You folded your arms and rested your weight against the bookshelves, scowling at Mister Seungmin, who appeared to be looking for you at the end of the book-lined aisle. He tilted his head, assuming an amused expression as he took in your appearance.

“Pardon?”

“If there is one place a butler is not supposed to be, it is the library.”

“With all due respect your grace, I know you can come up with a better excuse than that to not want to see me.”

“Well-” you suddenly ran out of words, caught off guard by the slight curl of his rose tinted lips. There it was again, that despicable feeling bubbling up in your torso as you looked at his handsome face under the candlelit corner. “What is it that you want then?”

There was a flicker of something strange in his eyes for a moment, then he blinked and it was gone, taking out a handkerchief from his suit pocket and removing his glasses.

“The queen is requesting your presence in the ladies’ lounge,” he said, watching you empty your armload of books back onto the shelf. “I presume it is concerning the Suitor’s dinner happening this evening.”

A flash of anger shot through you, jealous of the one in front of you that doesn’t have a name to uphold as he put his round frames back on his nose bridge. His face took on a worried expression once he saw the distressed look in your eyes, so he took a hesitant step closer, treading on paper-thin ice.

“Your grace…are you alright?”

“Of course I’m alright,” you snapped back at him, and although a pang of guilt rocked your head from being so harsh towards who may be the only person you care about, you let your emotions get the best of you. “Why do you care anyways?”

“Why do I care?” He stepped closer, an emotion you knew well as hurt flooding his irises as he scanned your face.

It was a silly question from both of you, considering how painfully obvious the answer was.

The stares that lingered longer than they were allowed to, the peculiar circumstances you accidentally found yourselves in, the fact that you were both in the most silent corner of the library, aware that there would be no one around for hours if you did happen to run into each other…

The truth was that you cared about each other in all the ways you really weren’t allowed to.

“Your grace…” he closed his eyes, trying to gather his thoughts, and maybe his sanity as well, “...as a butler you know it is my job to-”

“Very well,” you sighed, moving past the taller man and ignoring the sinking feeling in your chest. “I will be off to the-”

You didn’t see the way he silently regretted his words, or how he internally hoped you would forgive him for his next action. All you registered was the feeling of his trembling fingers circling your wrist, stopping you from leaving.

The sheer insanity of the gesture seemed to still the air in the library, keeping both you and Seungmin frozen in place as the near-silent sound of a grandfather clock ticking was heard in the distance. Your skin could have burst into flames at that very moment; you couldn’t bear to look anywhere but the forest green carpet as Seungmin stared at where you were connected to him, as if that would make him pull you closer.

But he knows better than to put you both at risk.

The moment you feel him loosen his grip on your wrist, your last drop of restraint evaporates from your skin and you turn back to face him, locking your gaze on his. Which ironically, lets the leash snap on his end as well.

“Forgive me,” was the last thing you heard him say before pulling your wrist towards him, causing you to stumble right into him, but not before he caught you with his lips.

Only a brief moment was spared for a sharp intake of air before he crashed his lips onto yours, the gasp being silenced quickly in his desires as you reached to grip his shoulder. His hand found your waist to keep you steady, but only until you regained your balance; he pulled away far too quickly for you to say that the encounter ever happened, and you finally caught your breath again.

With wide eyes you both stared at each other, unsure of what to say or do as your labored breathing filled the aisle, much like the sound of your heart rattling your rib cage filled your eardrums.

So many emotions swam in his brown irises. Not that you could identify any of them, for there were millions more drowning in your own, you were sure.

“Your…your grace,” Seungmin’s voice quivered, just above a whisper. “My deepest apo-”

��Do you regret it?”

“I- I beg your pardon?” His eyebrows knitted together ever so slightly as you pulled away from his embrace, silken hands trembling as you tried to regain your composure.

“Do you regret stealing my heart…despite knowing that you cannot have it,” you whispered, clutching the jewels at your neckline. 

“Your gr-”

“Drop…drop the formalities,” you pleaded, voice shaking now too, “you know it has never been that way between us.”

Seeing the forbidden truth in your eyes made him retract whatever he was about to say with a labored sigh.

“Y/n.” The shivers up your spine return. “As much as it should not happen, I could never regret loving you.”

“Seungmin don’t say that,” you cried out, tears spilling out from the corners of your eyes, “if you truly loved me you would have never returned my affections from the start.”

Seungmin watched in agony as you quickly swiped the tears away, only to have more fall out from under your eyelashes.

“Do you know what it is like to wake up every day, knowing that you cannot be with the one person you wish to-”

“Yes I know exactly,” he breathed, quickly closing the distance and holding you against the bookshelf so he could catch your lips in his again. This time you fell apart, melting in his grasp as his lips glided against yours, and your cares seemed to fade like the smoke leaving the candles lining the corridor.

“I am sorry,” he whispered as he moved to kiss away your tears, holding you so close to him as you gasped from the feather light touches on your cheeks. Hearing him say that only made you pull him in for another kiss, for Seungmin could have given you a thousand apologies, but not one would pull you out from how deeply you had fallen for him.

You knew he was trained to be especially careful with you, but the gentleness that he kissed you with…it was something you had only read of in books in your teen years, something you knew came about as rarely as diamonds did. To you, he was more rare and desirable than any gemstone on the market, and yet…

Your family could not pay the price for him, to lose their eldest daughter to a lower rank for something as useless as love, in their eyes.

“Seungmin,” you choked, biting back tears. “I…” 

“I know,” he whispered, kissing your trembling lips once more before letting go of you. “I know.”

And with that, you tore yourself away, away from the library, away from what you wanted most, and saddest of all, away from the man you loved.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧

[underdark-dreams]

Are you going to finish the Birds and the Bees fic anytime soon? 🥺

Hello anon!! 🖤 Thank you for expressing interest in that fic, first of all! I sat down to answer you and accidentally went off on a vent session tangent. But I have a few other asks about this, so I thought I should post anyway. 

I’m really sorry that I haven’t finished Birds & Bees yet! I promise I haven’t abandoned it. I still have a lot of chapter 3 drafted up, and I revisit it often. I didn’t expect this many people to subscribe or follow it, and as a result went into it 100% pantsing with zero outline. (Learn from my mistakes!!) Basically, something about the last chapter just feels off. I get this itchy feeling like I wrote myself into a corner. I’ve never felt this way while working on my other fics, and it’s shaken my confidence in my instincts quite a lot, which just makes things harder. (And yes this is a WILDLY over-dramatic way to talk about a smut fic)

Anyway…that’s kind of where I’m at with it, I suppose. I’m afraid I don’t have a timeline for when I’ll post the last chapter. I wish I did. Should I just publish what I have to get it out the door? I don’t know. I’ve considered it. But I also really don’t want to disappoint people or put out something I don’t like. It’s hard to figure out what to do, but I want to give myself a bit more time. I’m sorry that that’s the answer I came up with! I hope you understand! 🖤

On a related note...you guys. Christ almighty. Work has destroyed my health this year. My department has been short since June, I’m working overtime every week with zero support from management, I feel so so drained not just creatively but emotionally and mentally. I take insomnia meds for the first time in my life because the anxiety keeps waking me up. 🙁 I’m looking hard for a new position, but it’s very much an employer’s market in my part of the US right now. Opening rejection emails at the end of the day is just an extra dose of discouragement. Writing should be easy, but unfortunately everything feels hard right now. I don't know if that makes sense.

But that’s part of why I love coming on here and seeing all the BG3 fandom joy and creativity! I know I’m not posting as regularly right now, but I hope you know that I still browse every day and read all your fics and look at your art and love it all. This fandom remains a lasting source of happiness and inspiration for me, and that’s not going away any time soon!

[fizzigigsimmer]

Episode 6: More thoughts on Gator & Roy’s relationship

I need comfort fic of Gator being held down and given a safe space to break. lol. Fuck I may have to write it. Anyway, more thoughts and brain vomit after last nights episode. Warning for spoilers through episode 6.

Gator has decided to pit himself against Ole Munch and I am increasingly worried for his safety lol. This is undoubtably not going to end well. The heartbreaking thing is he’s doing it all for a man who has made him believe he isn’t worth anything if he doesn’t perform up to standard. Roy is a bastard. Let me just get that off my chest. Dude can’t catch a bullet fast enough.

Lorraine humiliated him and defied his authority, so he ruined her deal with the banker (Vivian). What’s interesting is the method of intimidation he uses. It’s as much psychological as physical. He isolates him and then rips the clothes from his body, in public, to prove his mastery. Vivians's connections, his money, none of it will save him. Roy can take whatever he wants and if Vivian doesn’t listen, it’ll be his life. For now, just his shirt.

We also saw a taste of what Dot told us about him last episode. While getting a haircut from his wife a Lyon Motors commercial comes on, and Roy becomes visibly angered at the sight of Wayne. When his wife Karen accidentally nicks him he slaps her before giving her an impatient lecture, and it’s obvious this isn’t the first time he’s struck her. And from the way Roy talks about “breaking a woman” and the photos in Dot’s file that we see at the end of the episode, we know he won’t hesitate to brutalize his wives.

I get so sick to my stomach imagining what growing up with this man would have been like. Things got kind of interesting when Gator arrived to tell him they’ve finished working over “Wayne” in the barn. After watching Roy assault his wife so casually, it was particularly poignant to watch the way Gator tip-toes around him. He talks the talk of a big man, independent and in control, but he behaves just like Karen - like a battered wife.

He tip-toes around Roy’s mood, reinforces his delusions and adjusts his speech and behavior at the first sign of displeasure to try and keep Roy happy and calm. When Roy lashes out in contempt to knock his feet off the table Gator flinches and lunges like he’s expecting something worse to happen and is caught off guard/relieved when it doesn’t.

Many people spank their kids, but we can only imagine the ways that Roy considers it appropriate to discipline an unruly child. While I 1000% believe Gator has been hit by his father before, it’s obvious that Gator isn’t used to being a failure in his eyes either.

The true hold Roy has over everyone in his life is mental. Manipulation and psychological torment are his first means of controlling others and pain is just a tool he uses to reinforce the message.

This obsession that Gator has with being a “winner” comes from Roy, who has made him believe that his value, usefulness, and not to mention safety come from measuring up to Roy’s expectations. And before now, Gator has been a golden child. But now that he’s on a losing streak and Roy is leaving bodies in his wake, Gator’s first instinct is to convince Roy that this is just a fluke by reminding him of his past success as an athlete in high school. My apologies to Gator lol, for previously assuming that his estimation of his own future in football was self-inflated.

We now know that Gator was an all state Quarterback. Which basically means that at one point in time Gator was recognized as the best high school QB in his state. He went from having a real possible future in football and getting out from under Roy, to being a washed-up henchman. He clearly still idolizes the version of himself who was on top of his game and that Roy could depend on to win. And whether he can admit it or not, he loaths the “sad puke” they both know he is now. He essentially promises Roy he can get back to being that guy, and he thinks that preventing the trouble he can sense Ole is about to start will right the wrongs of the past.

[dontcallpanic]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

Ah, thanks so much for this ask @writerhellenemeyers! @gege-wondering-around asked as well and I've been putting it off because I didn't know how to answer!

Everything I have is in a WIP status and I am an extremely slow writer. I get no time (despite what my chronically online presence here might suggest!)

Anyway I now have two wips so I thought it was time to answer!

No Title As Yet -

The first one is a strange mix of ingredients and is essentially about Stiles taking a roadtrip for complicated personal reasons and running full tilt into Beacon Hills which is one of those small towns where everyone is acting really weird and there's a strange red eyed monster following him around (nudge wink) - and he basically wants to solve All the mysteries. It's inspired by all those strange small town stories (twilight, Stephen king, gravity falls etc) the songs 'My Silver Lining' by first aid kit and 'Indigo' by Katherine Priddy and this strange Welsh myth about a woman who vanishes on her wedding day only for her bones to be found ten years later, still clothed in the wedding dress, inside a tree that has been struck by lightning/come down in a storm. I'm aiming for it to be funny, creepy, wild and full of strange magic.

I'm manifesting... murder?

Okay the next one was just a funny thing to cheer up my friend who'd had an insanely bad day/week at work but it sort of spiraled.

It was this idea that Stiles is having trouble with the authorities trying to close down his museum. And because he's a spark and does a bit of a to b thinking he sort of... Accidentally manifests/wills their murders. At least, it's starts off accidentally... A kind of "I didn't mean for this to happen but it's made everything better??? Is murder the solution to all my problems?" With Derek being dragged along for the ride and becoming his long-suffering accomplice.

My friends brief was 'murder husbands but make it hot fuzz." Still not sure where it's going! It might end up being a 5 times Stiles accidentally kills people and one time it was on purpose - who knows!

Anyway... thanks so much for the ask! I like to write purely for fun so I don't know if this will tick anyone's boxes but that's my stuff!

Thank you both for being absolutely wonderful people! I really admire you both so much so I appreciate the interest!

Oh and tagging @oldefashioned incase You're interested!

And @patolemus - thanks SO much for the ask too, hopefully this tag works! 🩵

[yellowocaballero]

finally got around to finishing weekenders and read the cat byleth fic, and had a great time! reading from felix's perspective of everyone dealing with catleth was very fun, and finding out that felix made the active choice to not do anything actually made me laugh. also, seeing sylvain and his thoughts about felipe, after how you described felipe when he's older just seems very interesting (and funny). all that's to say, i was curious if you'd care to share something about what future shenanigans the oc kids got up to? they seem fun

One of the nicest possible asks you can send someone. Tell me more about your OCs. JALKDSjflkasjdf.

I had to write Byleth's idyllic future family, these people do in fact live in a society where they're all obligated to reproduce, I made up like 10 characters on the spot, the end. Afterwards I got really stressed out due to various and assorted reasons and started stress writing, as I do, and I ended up stress writing a WAY too long OC story. Various facts:

In a heartwarming act of found family, supportive co-parenting, and hating the way your parents raised you, the next gen kids are raised very differently than how their parents raised them. The BL split their time between their homes and the palace, so all of the kids are raised as one big family. All equals! All of you kids are way more important than chivalry! The princess and prince are just like the rest of you! The king isn't stealing ANYONE'S dad!

So that's nine extremely spoiled cousins whose only persistent social circle is each other.

Sometimes a found family are ex-classmates who run a nation together and a group of cousins who are endlessly trying to claw each other's faces off.

Sara (story covers her age from 10-16 but let's randomly anchor this at 12; Dimileth; crown princess) is overly emotional with a temper and is prone towards acts of ringleading and bullying. Terry (10; Felix/Annette; gifted kid before the syndrome; Sephora 10yo) is the meanest preteen girl ever. Leif (12; Ingrid/Ashe; absolute jock; arch nemesis of Sara) would wear Supreme. Felipe says he's too good to be the meanest person ever, but he's just catty about it. Luca (10; Dimileth; crown prince; looks like M!Morgan from FE:A, if he's named after Lucina Byleth does not realize; breaks half of what he touches), Sigurd (10; Ingrid/Ashe; limp noodle of a nerd), and Lailah (6; Felix/Annette; will predict the time and date of your death) are the victims of this. When they are not worse. Sven (Ingrid/Ashe; daydreams about dragons constantly; inherited all of the nice) and Callum (Felix/Annette; inherited all of the nice) will grow up to be nice only because they weren't in baby thunderdome.

The deuteragonist of the story is Derrick von Aegir (13; Ferdinand/F!OC; a truly unfortunate boy) who was sent to live in the Fhaergus Empire's palace at age 11 as a political hostage. The other protagonist is the princess whose greatest problem in life, age 10, was that Father said she isn't allowed to be mean to the political hostage. Derrick's greatest problem in life, age 11, is not accidentally getting his entire family super executed.

(This is the sort of political hostage thing that was very common in the Medieval era, which was basically "hey conquered territory send your kid to live with us, we'll treat them great and school them and teach them how great we are, and YOU won't break any treaties", it's pretty comfy for the kid. Effective way to stop Duke Ferdinand of Adrestia from rebelling, too. Byleth's idea. Bloodless and effective, only slightly traumatizes one kid)

They're all one big family anyway, so let's just toss Derrick into the pile of cousins. He is absorbed into the cousin conglomerate instantly. He's annoyingly perfect: perfect grades, perfect manners, perfect attitude, perfect work. Overachiever who takes up a role as tiny ambassador quickly and dreams of becoming a political ambassador between the territory of Adrestia and the Faerghus kingdom, now empire. Does Felix's paperwork. Tripes to stop himself from wanting to go home. Dimitri taught him how to shave. Gets a horse every year for his birthday. Is perfect. Stops wanting to go home. Is perfect.

The story is largely about the struggle of trying to be a good person when you don't really know how and aren't very good at it. It's about a massive confusion of identity and trying to parse out where you belong when you're from two worlds and belong in neither. It's about having a parent who is severely mentally ill. It's about deciding what a princess means and what a political hostage means; what a family means and what a friend means. It's also about children who are so so so mean to each other.

Glad that's not INSANELY long. It's just stress writing and it's all very off the cuff, so the story's just a pot of ideas, but here's a short-ish excerpt of it underneath the cut that I think summarizes a lot of this.

A week later, Derrick received a letter from his father. It had probably arrived several days before, but all of Derrick’s incoming and outgoing mail was monitored and censored. Derrick had gotten good at talking around anything that made security mad, but sometimes his father’s letters still held long streaks of black.

Sara had barged into his palace in pursuit of a training partner, but she only found him sitting at his dining room table staring blankly at several pieces of paper. They were laid out carefully next to each other, as if Derrick needed to cross-reference each individual sentence. It seemed as if he had been looking at them for a while.

Derrick’s quarters were in the Steel Palace, which was where they kept their diplomats. When he first came to live with them, Father let him choose which suite he wanted and gave him a budget for decorating the room. The quarters had never seen a two year visitor before, but it had adjusted well. Sara was petitioning to move his room into the main palace so she didn’t have to walk so far to visit him, but Derrick had blathered on about stations and appropriateness and laid out his extensive plan on how to be as useful to the crown of Faerghus as possible. Sara said it would be more useful if she didn’t have to walk so far. 

As usual, Derrick’s plans went off without a hitch. Whenever they had visitors from other parts of Faerghus, or even from outside of Fodlan, Derrick was their one-person welcome wagon. It was his sacred self-appointed duty that nobody asked him to do, and he was really good at it. The Adrestian lords were all over him. So were the knights, but Derrick said that he barely registered them anymore. 

Sara stood in the doorway and coughed pointedly, waiting for Derrick to jump up and treat her respectfully. But he just sat and stared at pieces of paper. He obviously knew she was here, but he wasn’t reacting at all.

Sara crept forward until she could grab the back of the ridged chair and hoist herself upwards on the beams. She peered over Derrick’s shoulder at the pieces of paper, finally recognizing it as a letter. She recognized his father’s handwriting. 

“Um,” Sara said, “are you okay?”

That was as emotionally supportive as she got, and probably as emotionally supportive as she was physically capable of being. Derrick seemed to appreciate the effort, ‘cause he actually responded. His voice was dull, as it sometimes was. 

“My mother just had another baby,” Derrick said. All life and spirit was drained from his voice. He sounded very empty. “A full sibling. Boy.”

What? That was so weird. “You didn’t tell me your mom was pregnant!” 

“I didn’t know.” 

Sara couldn’t help but wrinkle her nose. How could the von Aegirs not even say anything? Why was Derrick so upset? News of an upcoming baby in her family was always such a massive deal. The last time Aunt Ingrid got pregnant nobody shut up about it for weeks. And it was a million times worse when the baby was actually born. Sara had forbidden Mother and Father from having any more children, just in case. She wouldn’t survive the commotion. 

“Congratulations?” Sara said, baffled. “Isn’t this a good thing?”

“I guess.”

“But you’re gonna be a brother!”

“Apparently.” 

“Having a sibling does suck,” Sara said contemplatively, “but maybe you’ll luck out and have a nice sibling. Collum’s the best baby ever. Terry and Lilah and I put him in little dresses. And Luca’s whatever I guess.” Sara paused a second, thinking harder. “Two boys must be tougher, though. Leif and his siblings just punch each other all the time.”

“A year,” Derrick said, and Sara finally quieted. “They waited a year until Mother grew pregnant. Father said he didn’t care about having crested kids. That’s what he said.” Derrick’s voice shook, and Sara started feeling really uncomfortable. “They just wrote me off.” 

“No they didn’t. Your parents wouldn’t do that.” Sara hopped off the chair. She put a hand on his arm, squeezing tightly. “Your parents are so nice. Maybe they just…I don’t know. Everybody has, like, five kids. It’s weirder that he waited so long, right?”

“He stopped waiting after I left.” Derrick picked up one of the pages, smoothing it carefully between his fingers. He always treated his parent’s letters carefully. “Does he need a new heir? Does he think I’m not coming back?” Derrick’s voice grew thick. “He said I was coming back. He said I was coming home for sure…”

Sara couldn’t think of anything to say that didn’t sound ridiculously dumb, so she just hugged him. Derrick dropped the letter on the table and hugged her back, limp and weak and clutching onto the folds of her stiff dress, and although she didn’t like very long hugs she refused to let go until he did. 

There was nothing to do about any of it. Adrestians were idiots and Derrick’s stupid parents were constantly making his life miserable. Sara made a noble sacrifice the next day and asked Derrick to teach her how to ride Aqua. Sara was great at riding horses, but she let Derrick teach her anyway. He always forgot about everything else when there was a horse in front of him, so her plan worked perfectly. 

That night, after the boring yet productive horse adventure, Mother found Sara, Derrick, and her family in the kitchens. They were sequestered in the secret nook behind the cold room, chomping down on purloined fruits and shoving apple cores down each other’s shirts. Mother pulled back the curtain on their fun very dramatically, freezing Leif in the middle of his attempts to pull Sigurd’s shirt over his head and dunk it in apple juice.

Felipe scrambled upwards, abandoning his half-eaten pie on the table. He bowed hastily, and everybody else hurriedly copied him. “Greetings to Her Grace, Lady of Faerghus.” 

As usual, Felipe and Derrick did everything pitch-perfect and everybody else stumbled through it. Sigurd’s shirt was still half-hanging off his shoulder. Terry didn’t even let go of her grapes. 

“I need to borrow Derrick,” Mother said. “Now.”

Derrick bowed again and quietly followed Mother’s direction out of the nook. Everybody awkwardly looked at each other. Even Leif looked worried. 

Felipe ran his hand through his near-white hair, gnawing on his cheek. It was still a little weird to have Felipe in the castle so often. It was like summer, but all the time. He didn’t have as much time to spend with them as he used to, though - Uncle Sylvain was officially training him in chamberlain duties. Luca critically deemed Felipe old. “I hope he’s not in trouble.” 

Terry stuffed grapes in her mouth, cherry red pigtails swinging. Through mangled fruity flesh, she said, “Derrick can’t get in trouble. He’s too good at everything. Messing up is Luca’s job.”

Luca sat back down, grabbing his book and pulling sad cow eyes at Terry. Lilah, who was six and liked doing what Luca did, imitated him dolefully. “I’m not that bad, am I?”

“You suck.”

“If he sucks then why did you fail your literature examination?” Sara snapped. “Look in a mirror sometime!”

Terry gasped in affront, and Lilah made a little ‘oooh’. Luca’s jaw dropped. But Sara had enough. She stood up, shoving a final few apples in her dress pocket before stomping out of the enclave. She was distantly aware that Felipe scrambled upwards to follow her, cursing in Duscuran, but she resolutely decided to ignore him. She didn’t have time to soothe ten year old feelings. She had to find Derrick and make a stirring case to her mother on why he shouldn’t be in trouble. 

She made it to the door of the kitchens before Felipe caught up to her. He slid in front of the door, and Sara was once again confronted by his stupid growth spurt as he towered after her. Sara tried to duck and weave around him, purposefully ignoring the bustling kitchen staff steering wide and clear of them, but Felipe held his ground. 

“I’m sorry, Your Highness, but this is important.”

Felipe’s voice still carried a distinct Duscuran accent, and it always made his words sound strange and harsh. Sara heard Uncle Dedue scold him for it several times, but Felipe had dug in his heels on the matter. He could imitate Uncle Dedue’s accent perfectly when he was speaking to important people who they didn’t know and didn’t like - which had the terrible side-effect of making him speak like Father - but around his family he refused to talk like the rest of them. It was one of the many reasons why he was super cool. Unfortunately, he was also a drag.

“Fighting Her Grace won’t help him,” Felipe said sternly. “Have you ever successfully changed her mind on anything? Anything at all?” Sara scowled, but she didn’t say anything. It was effectively a concession of the point. “I know your intentions are good. But charging in might hurt more than it helps. You must begin to stop and think things through first.”

“I stop to think all the time,” Sara complained. “I can do tactics. We can all do tactics. We couldn’t survive Mother if we couldn’t do tactics.”

“Yes, and you lose all ability to ‘do tactics’ the second you get worked up about something.” Felipe frowned down at her. Sara wanted to wilt. Another point she wished she could refute, and was perfectly aware she couldn’t. “Derrick’s living in reality, you know that? Not this castle fantasy land. You can’t mess around.” 

“Fantasy land -”

But Felipe just rolled his eyes. “I grew up in a Duscur orphanage. Trust me, I know what the real world looks like.” 

“Your hideously wealthy and powerful mother owns a Duscur orphanage,” Sara said flatly. This was why Felipe wasn’t always cool. “You saw the real world outside your glass window. Stop borrowing other people’s actual problems.” 

“Age has not dulled your tongue,” Felipe said, equally flat. “Will insulting your entire family fix your problems, Your Highness?” Sara pursed her lips, looking away. “You were defending Luca. Out of character, but sweet. Now Terry’s probably mad at Luca because you reminded him that Luca aced his test and she didn’t. Did you solve anything? Or did you just take out your anger on a ten year old?” 

“Literally all we do is insult each other, it’s family culture.”

“Yes, it’s why we’re all mean and insane.” 

Sara crossed her arms. “I thought that was because we’re all spoiled brats.” 

“It’s a feedback loop. We make each other worse. And yes, I’m a spoiled brat too.” Felipe sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Goddess knows I can’t stop you from doing what you want. But please, Sara. Stop thinking about what you want and start thinking about what Derrick needs. If you’re capable of that.”

“Uncle Sylvain would kick your ass if he heard you talking to me like that.” 

Brightly, Felipe said something to her in Duscuran. Sara squinted at him. In Adrestrian, he said, “There. I’ll say that in front of my father as much as you want. He’s too scared of brown people to learn my other language, so I think I’m in the clear.”

“Uncle Dedue would kick your ass,” Sara amended. 

Felipe blanched. “You won’t tell Uncle.” 

“Watch me.”

“No, you won’t. You won’t.”

“Make me.”

“If you tell Uncle I will actually -”

“You’ll actually what?” Sara sang. “Go ahead, tell me. Tell me what I should tell Uncle Dedue you would actually do.”

“You are such a little -”

Sara ducked left and dove for the door. The kitchen door, made for servants carrying armfuls of plates and meat, swung open when she pressed on it, and she ignored Felipe’s yelp as she broke free into the hallway. 

She sped-walk (‘Princesses don’t -’ Take a guess.) down the hallway, craning her head for a glimpse of Mother. Empty of everything but a shitton of servants. She reached an intersection of hallways, frantically looking left and right in search of the right path. Would tactics help? 

Tactics were unnecessary. Balad was standing in front of a door in the hallway to her left. Sara gracefully speedwalked straight towards him.

Despite her best efforts at dignity, Balad still seemed amused when he saw her. Mother’s personal knight didn’t follow her around most of the time, so she must either be coming from some official business or going towards it. Court had been yesterday, so it couldn’t be that. Sara remembered when court was. So organized and yet so chaotic. 

“Whoah, tiger,” Balad said. “Looking for somebody?”

Balad wasn’t very formal when it was just them, which was nice. Like Felipe, he had a fancy accent at his disposal but tended to prefer his native accent around them. Unlike Felipe, Balad was the real deal. “Is Mother inside?” Sara asked urgently. “Is she with Derrick?”

“The Adrestrian boy? Sure, she needed to meet with him.” Balad shifted on his feet, giant suit of armor rattling. How did he wear that all day? “Is something wrong?” 

Sara did her best not to look shifty. Balad raised an eyebrow. Too many people in this world had known her since she was a baby. Balad especially used to look after her in Mother’s stead while he was a squire. “Depends. Is Derrick in trouble?”

“I think your mother would say that this isn’t your fight, Your Highness.”

That was ominously vague. “But Derrick’s my responsibility,” Sara insisted. Balad’s eyebrow climbed higher. “If he’s in trouble I have to be there. As, like, defensive counsel. In a court of law.” 

“Who made Derrick your responsibility?”

Sara halted. Come to think of it…well, technically nobody. She had really just decided. But that didn’t invalidate her point. She was just taking initiative or whatever. 

Diversion tactic. Sara sniffed. “It’s a princess responsibility. A princess takes responsibility for all her subjects.”

Slowly, Balad drawled,”Uh-huh. And blaming Lilah for breaking that vase was…?”

“That was not a clear-cut situation - agh, never mind! Can I see them or not?” Balad stared at her. “May I see Her Grace and That Adrestian Boy please, Knight Balad.” 

“Let me ask, Your Highness.” 

Good enough!

Balad opened the door and stepped inside, quickly closing it. Sara focused hard on clearing her mind, summoning her logic, and drafting an argument. Yes, it was physically impossible to change Mother’s mind on literally anything. Mother and Father took each other’s counsels, but Father generally just obeyed her while she took his opinion and priorities into account (“Honey, is there a tactic with less casualties?”). When Father was indisposed and Mother assumed rulership, very little changed. And everything, but that was just because Father was nicer. 

But she still had to try. Especially since Sara was pretty certain she knew what this was about. 

The expression on Derrick’s mind was still burned into her mind. Derrick lived his life afraid of punishment, but he was never punished. It was the first time Sara had seen Derrick look punished. Derrick had looked as if he was being punished. 

He had been punished enough already. Sara couldn’t allow him to be punished one more time. King and Queen responsibilities meant that they had to choose the option with the least disruption and bloodshed. It was their responsibility to give Derrick a hard time. But Sara’s responsibility was to figure out some way to imitate a good person, and this was pretty much the only method that interested her. 

The door opened, and Balad gestured her inside. Sara’s heart leapt into her throat, and she forcibly stopped and allowed Felipe’s obnoxious words to stampede through her mind. Plan of attack.  Never begin a fight without knowing where you’re going. Never enter an unsecured building during a battle - oh, forget it. 

The room was just another of their sitting rooms, distinctly less fancy than the rest and doubtlessly used by lesser nobles. Still stupidly fancy, but that was life. Mother was standing in the center of the room, Derrick across from her. Well, he wasn’t crying. He didn’t look distinctly happy, but he didn’t seem desolate. A positive direction, right?

Sara bowed. “Good evening, Your Grace. Are you finished with Derrick? He promised to take me horseback riding, and we should leave while there’s still daylight.” 

Mother nodded. “Sure. We’re mostly done here.” She looked back at Derrick, who was making the Eyebrow of Incredulity at her. Sara wondered if her plan was successful, before deciding that it definitely was. “I might as well say this in front of Sara. Do you know why the king has very few memories of your father from school?” Derrick looked at the ground and silently shook his head. “Because I knew that the king would probably stand on the opposite side of a battlefield from Ferdinand von Aegir, and I didn’t want him to grow attached.”

That sentence would sound insane if Sara wasn’t used to it. “How did you know that?”

“It was a precautionary measure.” 

Weakly, Derrick said, “That sounds a little extreme…”

Mother’s pale eyes locked onto Derrick, and he froze. “You’re here, aren’t you?”

Derrick locked his eyes onto the floor. “Yes, Your Grace. It’s an honor to be here and serving the royal family.” 

“I dislike lies.” Derrick swallowed a flinch, and Sara bristled. But Mother’s eyes just softened, and she took a small step closer to Derrick. “I’m sorry, Derrick. I failed to make something clear to you. Considering your new concerns, this is the appropriate time to divulge this. Please look at me.”

Derrick looked up at her, and Sara had to fight the urge to run to him. She didn’t want him to look at Mother like that. Just once, just for once, Sara wanted the world to look at Mother and see what Sara saw. Everybody knew that Mother was level-headed, always the one to calm down Father when he grew agitated, but everybody seemed to interpret her words as detachment instead of kindness. 

“There is almost nothing you can do that would make us harm you or your family.” Mother said the sentence easily, as if she hadn’t just mildly rocked Sara and Derrick’s worlds. “Short of endangering or harming the royal family and Faerghus, your actions cannot result in punishment for your family. The king and I decided years ago to never punish you further than we might punish one of our own family’s children. There is certainly nothing you may do by accident that would get you in trouble.”

Sara and Derrick gaped at Mother. Somewhat insanely, Sara attempted to divine why Mother would sit on information that would reframe Derrick’s entire life.

Derrick was stunned even worse than her. He was shaking his head faintly, in pure denial. “But I’m a political hostage. The whole point of that is…”

“Did you want us to send one of your toes home?” Byleth asked wryly. Derrick shivered. “Sorry. Bad joke. You’re not a parent, Derrick. Parents would do anything to protect the children they love. Your parents wouldn’t put your safety and well-treatment at risk.” Sheesh, did she have to specify it like that? “Your father loves you immensely. You…should have seen his face when he signed the forms to give you up. It was…” Mother frowned, a little troubled. “I felt one of my least favorite emotions. But it was an important emotion for me to feel. I had to remind myself of that.”

Quietly, Derrick said, “But he didn’t really seem that upset…”

“Yes, he was very brave for you.” It was clear that Derrick had never thought of it like that, and he was struck dumb. “All that matters is the threat. The king’s reputation is - among us adults, it’s fearsome.” The corner of Mother’s lips turned down. “Quite fearsome. He’s ashamed of it, but it is useful.”

Sara wouldn’t understand this comment until two years later, when she will see Father crush skulls with one hand. She will rush home and tell Derrick all about it, mime the motion with one hand. And Derrick will look up from his book and say - did you not know?

“What if Father doesn’t pay attention to my letter?” Derrick asked, expression creasing. “With a new heir, I’m not…”

“Your father will know perfectly well who told you what to say in that letter.” What letter? Was that what Mother had pulled him away to speak about? “He’s not stupid enough to ignore it. I wouldn’t be surprised if a letter reaffirming his loyalty to us was already on the way. Even if the duke declared a rebellion tomorrow, Derrick, we wouldn’t harm you.” Mother paused a beat. “We wouldn’t allow you to return to Adrestria, of course. But you’d be treated no differently.” 

They wouldn’t send him home? Somewhat tactlessly, Sara cried, “Can we adopt Derrick?”

“No.” 

“But his father would obviously be unfit if he did that -”

“Yuri would kill us. No.” 

If there was one person in Fodlan who could tell Mother what to do, it was Yuri. He told Mother to do things and she did them. Obviously he also told Father to do things and Father did them, but Mother was the tougher nut to crack. Mother said it was because he was the only person who didn’t respect her.

“I will do everything I can to prevent that from happening, Your Grace.” Derrick said it as if he really meant it - as if it was his responsibility. Maybe it was, but it was a responsibility he fulfilled by waking up every morning to a Faerghus ceiling. “I never want our nobility to fight ever again. That’s my word, as a von Aegir.”

“Vows and promises have never impressed me,” Mother said blandly. Derrick winced. “Nobles bearing nothing but high words are the easiest to kill. I respect hard work, productivity, and growth. You’re a Blue Lion now, Derrick. I expect these things from you.” 

Derrick froze. He practically wasn’t breathing. Sara wanted to put her hand on his arm again, but yet again she was standing far away from them. Why did she never stand closer? “That’s - I thought that was your family.” 

“It’s people I trust. And people I expect great things from. That includes you, Derrick.” She glanced at Sara, who was masterfully repressing a sulk. “It’s not our children. We want them to find their own way. But this is the path I’m asking of you. Can you handle it?”

Derrick straightened, chin out, and for a strange second he looked every inch the high nobility that he was. Why did it feel so rare? His bloodline was impossibly prestigious. He ought to carry himself tall. But Derrick was always trying to make himself seem smaller - eyes down, shoulders hunched. He only unfolded in front of Sara.

Perfect, accomplished, hard-working Derrick. Derrick, who always stood larger than life to Sara. Felipe was right - Derrick lived in an adult’s world, while Sara still played around and messed with her cousins. He was alone in that world.

In that second, the thought was intolerable to Sara. 

“Yes, Your Grace,” Derrick said. “I only ask that you help me work hard.”

“Good. Goodbye.” Mother glanced at Sara, who froze. “Sara.”

She didn’t say anything else.

Sara cleared her throat. “Yes, Mother.”

Mother tilted an eyebrow.

Sara was crushed. That eyebrow was like an anvil on her head. She was used to it from Father, who was absolutely relentless when he wasn’t feeling guilty for being relentless, but Mother was sparse with that eyebrow. It meant a lot more coming from her. 

That eyebrow meant something different to everybody. To Luca, it probably only meant ‘be a good boy, baby, I love you’. To Sara’s cousins, it closely resembled ‘the Queen of Faerghus and Saint of Seiros is watching you So Closely and the Goddess won’t help you if she doesn’t like what she sees’. Sara’s aunts and uncles were visibly terrified of it. Counter-intuitively, they were more terrified of it than any of the kids. Sara still heard them threaten each other with The Look. Only Uncle Felix was unaffected, but Sara quietly suspected that Uncle Felix was Mother’s favorite. She didn’t know which one came first. 

But to Sara, it always meant ‘don’t disappoint me’. It meant ‘be better’. No matter what she did or how she did it, Sara must be better. Endlessly better, and never good enough. 

If she was good enough…could she stand by Derrick? Was it really Mother who she wanted to save him from?

“Yes, Mother,” Sara said. “I will.”

“I know. Goodbye.”

Mother left, as dramatically as she had come, and took Balad with her. She left Sara and Derrick standing alone in a sitting room, locked in their own wandering minds. 

Derrick broke the tension by sagging, releasing a full-body exhale. Sara walked closer to him, so close that she could finally reach out and touch his shoulder. She didn’t, but she could.

“I thought she’d get less scary eventually,” Derrick mumbled. “Everybody else got less scary. How did she get scarier…”

“It’s ‘cause Mother’s the boss,” Sara said. “She’s just tough ‘cause she takes responsibility for everybody. Like you! You’re a Blue Lion now. That means she’ll get scarier, but, like, in a good way.”

“I don’t know if I want Queen Byleth to keep a closer eye on me.” Derrick’s voice sounded a little faint. “I’ve just tried to stay underneath her radar…”

“Too bad.” Sarah firmly patted him on the shoulder. “Exceptional people always catch Mother’s eye. You were just too good at being good at things.” Derrick moaned, hanging his head. “Oh, stop whining, it’s a compliment. I came expecting way worse, you know.” 

Derrick eyed her wearily. “Do I want to know why you followed us?”

Sara coughed. “I was planning on rescuing you, actually. You’re welcome.”

“Saints, Sara,” Derrick groaned. Expected reaction. “What could you have done? I wasn’t even in trouble.”

“What else was I supposed to do?” Honestly! As if it mattered that she couldn’t do anything! “I couldn’t leave you hanging in the wind like that. Besides, I did help, didn’t I? I definitely changed the subject. What did Mother even want, anyway?”

“I guess you distracted her.” Left unsaid: a monkey could do that, idiot. “It was about the new sibling. The King and Queen know this means von Aegir has a spare now.”

“Come on, Derrick -”

“It’s true.” Derrick shook off her hand, and Sara let it drop. “My value’s gone down. They want me to remind my father about some stuff. Don’t worry about it. It’s our problem.” 

Our, as in Mother and Father and Duke von Aegir and Duchess von Aegir. Not Sara. 

“I forbid you from talking about yourself like that.” Sara tried to use her best princess voice, but it was a little weaker than usual. “It’s not about your value -”

“It’s all about my value!” Derrick yelled, stopping Sara short. He backed away from her, face flushed, but Sara couldn’t move. She had never heard Derrick raise his voice before. “Are you stupid? You don’t know what you’re talking about! You can’t understand! I work so hard to keep my value up and my stupid parents waste it just because they wanted another baby! If that stupid baby has a crest it’s all over for me! They’re the ones trying to take everything away from me, not the king and queen!”

“Who cares about a stupid crest!” Sara yelled back. “So you won’t be heir anymore, big deal! Mom and Dad don’t care!”

Derrick rounded on her, and Sara jerked backwards. His face was flushed, and his nose was scrunched up. Sara knew what it looked like when Derrick was trying not to cry. “Do you seriously think I want to hear that from the Crest of Flames? Shut up! I worked so hard, I did everything I physically could, and it doesn’t matter! If that baby has a crest then Dad’s advisors will tell him to let me die, it’ll tie up a freaking loose end! They can’t exactly keep a crested baby hostage, can they? It’d be convenient! That would be my value! They’ll stop caring what happens to me and I’ll be worth nothing!”

“Mom and Dad care about you!” Sara screamed, and Derrick finally fell silent. “Mom wants to train you, Mom promised you everything, and I bet Dad wishes you were his kid instead of me!” Derrick opened his mouth to protest, but Sara didn’t let him interrupt. “You’d be the best prince ever! You’d be a thousand times better than Dad’s shitty real kids. Luca’s always breaking things and I’m stupid and mean. We’re spoiled brats, everyone says so, and you’re perfect! Stop telling me we don’t care about you! You don’t know me either!”

Derrick was fully crying now. As always, it was silent. 

Sara fought to calm down. Derrick’s words just upset her so much. She didn’t want him to talk about loose ends and dying. She didn’t want him to say that nobody back home cared about him. That had always been Derrick’s anchor, the faith that saved him - that his parents loved him. If Derrick let go of that, then…then…

“Who cares if some stupid Adrestrians want you dead? What are they going to do about it? Mom just said that you’re perfect and we love you. Mom physically can’t lie, she doesn’t know how.”

“That’s not what she said at all -”

“Who knows my mom better, me or you?” Derrick hiccuped, rubbing at his face. Sara ignored him. She had been right after all - Derrick needed defensive counsel from his one and only lawyer. “So they throw you to the lions. Big deal. The lions think you’re great. Hang out and do Uncle Felix’s job, he hates it. Just stay here and keep being my best friend.” For the first time, Sara faltered. “Is that really so bad?”

Derrick shook his head, and Sara could see his tears dry. He looked way too exhausted for a thirteen year old. Derrick always felt old, but in that moment he felt even older than Felipe. “It’s not so simple, Sara…”

“You don’t want to be my best friend?” Sara asked. Her own words squeezed her heart painfully. “That’s okay, you know. You don’t have to be my best friend. But…you’re still mine, so…”

“Of course I want to be your best friend.” Derrick rubbed at his eyes, digging around so harshly that it had to be painful. “But…Sara, please don’t be stupid. Okay? Being your best friend gives me value. Like, a lot. I didn’t want to be your best - I mean, it just sort of happened, it just wasn’t my intention - and I promise I’m not pretending to be your friend. But I don’t want to pretend that’s not important. The king says we…shouldn’t pretend it’s a nice situation. So I don’t want to lie about that.”

Sara thought about this for a long minute. Derrick looked a little embarrassed - at the fact that their friendship was politically useful, or that they were actually friends, she didn’t know. They’d only said the ‘best friend’ word, like, once. It was so embarrassing. 

Sara thought about tactics. 

Finally, she crossed her arms and said, “So I’m useful to you.”

Derrick blanched. “I swear, I’m not using -”

“Why not? Go ahead. Flex it. Why wouldn’t you use that?” When you thought about it, really thought about it - when you thought about the big picture - this was the only thing that made sense. “Everybody keeps saying I can’t help you because I’m just a stupid princess. Including you.” Derrick winced, but it was whatever. She said mean things when she was upset too. “If I’m a stupid crown princess, I’ll use being a stupid crown princess. The Crest of Flames has to be good for something besides that stupid prophecy. If that’s how I can help you, then let me help you.” 

Derrick only shook his head, face pale. “I can’t do that.”

“Mother says to use every advantage available to you. This is your advantage. Don’t go on and on about how hard you work if you’re going to pass on opportunities.” Sara paused a beat. “And I need to get one up on Felipe. He said I was useless.”

Derrick looked at her for a long, inscrutable moment, before sighing. Sara knew that face. She had totally won. “So this is what Lord Dedue was talking about…”

“Eh?”

“Nothing.” Derrick picked at the sleeve of his rich and humble shirt. Sara would have to get him some nicer clothing. “Fine. I’ll use you. But…” He redoubled his focus on the sleeve again, cheeks flushed. “Does this mean we can’t be best friends anymore? For real?”

“I wouldn’t care about you and your problems if we weren’t best friends, so…uh, we have to. Right?” This was so embarrassing. This was a lot of feelings. How was Sara meant to handle this. “I guess this is mean of me. But…I’m glad your parents are having another baby. I didn’t want you to leave and stop being my best friend. That’s a really mean thing to think, right?”

“Nah,” Derrick said. “It’s kinda nice, actually. To know that somebody wants me here.” 

“It was super boring when you were nice to me, so don’t start doing that.”

“Trust me, Sara. It’s impossible to be nice to you.”

“Liar! Why are so many people nice to me, then?”

Derrick nodded sagely. “They get paid. And crown princess bullshit.” 

This perturbed Sara. “I really gotta make up for the princess thing, huh…like, karmically…”

“Just be nicer.”

“What, and die?!”

[star2fishmeg]

Hi!! I don’t know if you do requests anymore or not but anyway I’ll ask for one for High & low the worst. Fujio and Todoroki love triangle with reader, who alos happens to be Todorokis ex. Basically this is the main idea, maybe they have a fight or something to decide on who gets to have reader. Which happens after Todoroki sees Fujio and reader, being together and hearing people say how they fit with each-other. Thank you for your time. And obviously love your writing!!!

ᴍʀ ʙʀɪɢʜᴛsɪᴅᴇ

Pairing: Hanaoka Fujuo x f!reader, mentions of Todoroki Yosuke x ex!reader

Summary: Focusing on the wrong things in life makes people leave, and Todoroki found that out the hard way. Now he must watch his ex-girlfriend leave the gates with his rival, Fujio Hanaoka; the boy he lost to twice.

Warnings: Todoroki angst, mentions of blood, fighting, fluff

Authors note: Thank you so much for being patient, I’m sincerely sorry it took so long! And thank you for the detailed request, it helped so much with writing (writers block has been awful). This turned out to be more of a Fujio fic but writing has no limits so it’s all good. I hope you enjoy!

Authors note II: I’m kinda experimenting with the presentation of my works atm like the banners for example (especially if I want to branch out who I write for, I like the design different for each fandom) so it’s gonna look a bit inconsistent for a bit, I do apologise. I might switch to writing in 2nd person, but I’ll have to see what people think first :)

Request: above!

Romance is nothing to fear, it’s something that can make one stronger as it brings the heart someone to fight for – a purpose. It brings a sense of reality yet also this loss of senses and rose-tinted glasses. The day y/n l/n rocked up at Oya High one afternoon, flying through the halls like a hurricane all to give Yasushi one hell of a bitch slapping was the day Todoroki felt his chest tighten. Why was she so destructive? Yasushi was supposed to help her clean her garage out but he never showed. Todoroki felt smitten after that, offering up acts of service and freeing Yasushi from his unwillingly made plans (which was him being told that he was going to help y/n with something and him having no excuse to back out).

Their first date was an accidental one. Y/n had just finished patching up Todoroki’s wounds after a scuffle and they ended up watching movies her room. Both fell asleep tucked under a blanket, arms creeping around each other and legs getting tangled, waking up to smiles instead of some awkward atmosphere. Their second date ended up being sat by a river, Yosuke fishing while y/n read her book. She remembered vividly for a while; it was the first time Yosuke spoke of Fujio Hanaoka.

“Murayama thinks I don’t have what it takes to be a leader, what do you think?” he spoke, keeping his eyes on his bait.

Y/n didn’t look up either, “If you’re trying to overpower him, then I agree with him. If you’re trying to lead the full-timers exclusively, then I still agree.” She placed her book face down on the grass, pulling her knees to her chest, “Don’t take this the wrong way, you’re strong, an amazing fighter and intelligent, all good qualities but you’re not exactly charismatic. What’s brought this up?”

“There’s a guy who just transferred, his name’s Fujio Hanaoka. Everyone seems to get along with him so quickly, without force. He wants to be top dog, but he hasn’t asserted his strength. I want to know what he has that I don’t.”

“Charisma, by the sounds of it. Some people don’t have to assert their dominance to have people follow them. All they need to do is help others realise a better way of doing things.” He didn’t reply after that, just continued to fish in silence. It wasn’t much of a date, but they both enjoyed it regardless.

The third date happened later in the year, in the winter. Oya was quieter, and so was the brawling. Yosuke and y/n spent the evening at the local festival, and that was the happiest night of his life. At the time. Eleven at night, by the lake, under the stars. Silence had coated the nearby houses and only the distance music from the festival echoed. Y/n’s hands gripped Yosuke’s for the warmth, and his heart thundered in his chest at her pink cheeks. He was supposed to be strong yet there he was folding over for a girl he met a year ago who slapped Yasushi halfway across the room. He hesitated, eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips, lips to her eyes, eyes to her lips until he was being pulled roughly by his collar down. The kiss was sweet and warm, like honey, easy to melt into. It didn’t last too long, but long enough that when they pulled away, he dove back in for more. That was the most painful day of his life.

__

Two months ago, y/n l/n waited outside the gates of Oya Highschool, impatiently texting Yosuke Todoroki on his whereabouts and assuming he was busy. Two months ago, y/n and Yosuke sat in an outdoor cinema, talking shit about a film neither of them particularly liked nor found remotely interesting. Two months ago, Yosuke obsessed over surpassing Murayama, instead of focusing on his own life and the people who cared for him, the girl who patched him up every time he got injured. And she left him. Explained that they just weren’t going to work, their goals were too different, ideals incompatible and that he clearly cared more about a reputation and role he was never cut out for in the first place. Two months later, y/n stood outside Oya’s gate, but not for him. Never for him again. Fujio Hanaoka jogged over to her, sweeping off her feet into a bear hug with a grin. He was never late for her, he always left anything early so he wouldn’t be late. Todoroki’s jaw clenched, his breaths becoming deep.

Full-timers briefly glanced out what was left of the window, nonchalantly gossiping to one another watching their leader give his girlfriend a peck on her cheek before making his leave.

“Damn, that Fujio’s so lucky dude. I want someone to look at me the way they look at each other.”

“Y/n super chill too, ‘dunno where she was hidin’ two months ago. I spoke to her the other day, gave me tips on how to keep my hair healthy with all the bleach in it. Now it’s not yellow, in my pretty blond boy era.” Yeah, Todoroki knew all that anyway, they once dated. He knew everything all the guys talked about. He began to believe if people started admiring her just to taunt him, as if it didn’t kept him up at night enough as it was. He was no idiot, he was the strongest among the full-timers, he'd physically beaten Fujio before but time and time again Todoroki kept losing everything he desired to him; control and now a woman who could tolerate his lifestyle. He turned and stormed away, blocking out the sounds of people calling his name, through the halls and out the gate, home. Alone. His norm since she left.

Meanwhile, Fujio sat at the bar of y/n’s family pub, watching his girlfriend attend customers with hearts in his eyes and a childish grin on his lips. His chest swelled around her, always had since the day he met her, which he remembered vividly as if it were a film replaying in his head. It was a Friday afternoon, warm and bright, but y/n stood outside Oya’s gates furiously typing on her phone with tears welling in her pretty eyes. Fujio had just returned from a fight, bruised and bleeding but the pain in his face didn’t hurt as much as the aching in his chest. He sauntered in her direction, gently making his presence know, but as he had opened his mouth to speak, she looked up at him and witnessed a vase of flowers shatter at his feet. His pain was nothing compared to what her eyes were screaming at him. And that was the day the little boy in Fujio grew up and promised he’d make her smile again.

“You alright, ‘jio?” Y/n leant over the bar towards him, eyes smiling directly at him. He never expected that they’d end up like that, he just wanted to help her feel better but before he knew it, he was agreeing to date her, and he was glad she confessed because he still believed that he would’ve fumbled his confession.

He grinned, “With you here, always. Was just thinking about you, is all.”

“Well, aren’t you sweet,” she paused, “I still remember the day we met. I had just called it quits with Todoroki and you had just won a fight. Despite the pain you were in, you made the effort to make sure I felt better. You’re really kind, y’know, unconditionally. I love that about you.”

“I could take a thousand beatings, but I wouldn’t feel a thing if I could see your smile. You heal me.” Y/n flicked his forehead, rolling her eyes but smiling, nevertheless, before attending a customer. Fujio’s phone buzzed on the counter, Todoroki’s name popping up. His thumb hovered over the notification, he always assumed it was more likely that Murayama would fight him than Yosuke ever dropping him a text so casually, he wasn’t even sure how he had his number.

Courtyard, tomorrow. We need to talk.

Fujio shrugged, replying dryly because whatever he wanted was not to end peacefully, they were full-time Oya High student after all. And Fujio knew that he’d added salt to a wound (in which wasn’t really his fault). He never really understood why Todoroki hated him so much, he didn’t really do anything in his eyes, except maybe uniting the full-timers making them follow him and not Todoroki and except maybe date his ex-girlfriend. Aside that, he was nothing but friendly. Y/n walked back over, placing freshly washed glasses back onto the shelves. Oya High students were not easy to manage, but they also weren’t difficult to love either. They weren’t criminals or hooligans; they were largely a group of guys who grew up rough and came together for a place to belong away from the world. They deserved to be loved too.

“You good, hot shot?”

He closed his phone and gave a small smile, “Yeah, just Seiji.”

__

There are some things in life worth fighting for, worth getting injured over and worth enduring any sort of pain for. It’s a natural human response to fight for what you believe in and for what you love, why would you not? If you truly believe that there isn’t anything in life worth the energy, then you haven’t lived or been given the chance to fully embrace and consume something at full capacity. It’s natural for people to love other people, and for this love to trigger other emotions to protect it, it’s because we are scared to lose something that made us so unbelievably bliss that we’re willing to endure any kind of pain if it meant it would be safe.

Fujio’s steps were lazy when he strolled into the courtyard, hands in his pockets and shoes kicking the dirt. The moment he saw Todoroki brooding alone he had two assumptions running through his head: fight or a series of intellectual metaphors he wouldn’t be able to understand immediately. He hoped it was option one. Todoroki tensed, which wasn’t common for someone like him, but considering the topic of the matter he had every right to be on his guard.

“Yo, ‘Doroki! What’s this about?” Fujio called with a laugh, stopping an appropriate distance away.

“What do you have that I don’t?” He grumbled.

Fujio smiled, raising his eyebrows, and shaking his head, “What? Is this about being leader again-“

“No. It’s about y/n. All I hear is about how perfect you two are and frankly it’s annoying. You found her at her most vulnerable the played the hero. That’s what this is about. What do you have that I clearly don’t?” he spat. Yosuke Todoroki, seething over a girl. What an Oya thing. An unpredictable move on him.

Fujio shook his head and just laughed, practically unable to keep himself stable and wishing Tsukasa were there to enjoy it. “Why don’t you just ask her yourself? No need to be embarrassed that you got dumped, bro. Besides, I never intended to date her, some things just happen.” He pulled his hands out his pockets and balled them into a fist when Todoroki took his glasses off. Now they were getting to the best part, but also the ridiculous part. Fighting over a woman? Sounds like Oya behaviour.

Yosuke took the first lunge, in his usual manner of swinging his fist into the jaw, only to be caught by Fujio and dodged. Meanwhile y/n’s shoes slammed against the concrete up to Oya, cheeks pink and giving her best attempt at controlling her breathing. Upon seeing a notification pop up on Fujio’s location, she had sighed and thought the worst and took off to find him. He wouldn’t have dropped his location if he hadn’t wanted her to know where he was going. And she wouldn’t have dropped everything and made a break for it if she hadn’t known what that location drop meant – a petty scrap, in her eyes, but it meant he wanted collecting.

By the time she rounded the gate, chest heaving and feet sore, Fujio had received a kick nicely enough to wiggle out of it. “Fuck’s sake!” y/n groaned, loud enough for Fujio to pause, face dropping as if he’d been caught doing something unspeakable. Backing away, he placed his bloody hands in his pockets and attempted to pull one of his puppy-like faces at the woman. Todoroki – in his usual manner – scoffed, shaking his fists, and rolling his eyes, slightly stumbling before catching his balance again.

“You two have been insufferable, you know that?” y/n marched towards them, her fists balling. If there was one thing Fujio feared, it was the wrath of a woman, especially one who was let down by the guy who basically just lost to him (he liked to believe that due to Todoroki’s wobbly balance). Standing face to face with him, y/n gently picked the glasses from Todoroki’s pocket and slid them over his nose, straightening his collar. She kept her cold gaze, sighing while he pursed his lips as if he were waiting for something good to happen, like a change of heart, or a confession he’d dreamed about, one which went something like ‘I’m sorry for leaving, I still love you, Yosuke.’

But it never came, she just shook her head lightly, stepping back, “Todoroki, stop it. Leave him alone. You fucked up, take the responsibility for once, it’s why you’ll never be a leader.” She spoke softly, the disappointment laced in her words strangled his throat, stomach dropping at the confirmation that he’d truly lost to Fujio, and it was his fault. He watched her and the other boy walk out the gates and down the street, tears welling in his eyes as his mind swapped out Fujio’s figure for his, replaying the memory again as if he hadn’t thought about it every day. Another loss to Yosuke Todoroki.

H&L harem (if you wanna be tagged in future H&L content, just lemme know :D);

@straysugzhpe @airbendertendou @strxwberrychocolate @rouzuchan @yuken-gf @rinwhore @simpforchuchu

Dedicated to @straysugzhpe who gave me the energy boost to write and post this and the rest of the h&l community and their works, love and support goes out to those who had their work stolen and plagiarised <3

[Masterlist]

[Requests CLOSED]

2023 © STAR2FISHMEG All rights reserved - do not plagiarise, translate, repost, copy any of my works. If you notice that any of these have been done to my work, please let me know.

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

For the ask game:

🫂- What was your inspiration for your WIP?

🥸- Which character is most like you?

🎻- Where do you look when you need some inspiration?

:D

🫂- What was your inspiration for your WIP? For BDOR, my base inspiration was the LU update where Wild pulled out Majora's Mask. There was an explosion (that is definitely an overexaggerated verbiage, but the fandom was smaller back then) of fics within the fandom, with quite a few of them featuring Time, basically, freaking out at Wild over having the mask. [This one here, by Tashilover, was probably my favorite (Explosive). Go check it out!]

Anyways, I wrote something like that as well at the time, though I never ended up publishing it, and it will not make it into BDOR because it would mess with the plot too much. But I've hung onto that dynamic of, basically, the heroes accidentally traumatizing one another, and also the idea of Wild and Twilight vs the rest, and how that actually plays out. I still have that scene that I wrote (bless 15 year old me) and I may publish it eventually, once I clean it up.

🥸- Which character is most like you?

Wild. My guy. He doesn't know exactly who he is, after the Calamity, and I love him for that. At least how I write him, he's fiercely independent and stubborn and heroic---but he's also, at times, a lost kid with memory issues and horrible insecurity that just needs some guidance. I relate to him <3

🎻- Where do you look when you need some inspiration?

For inspiration, I'll usually read other fics in this fandom, or I'll beta read some of my mutuals. Occasionally I'll look at art, too, we have so many amazing artists in this fandom <3. Just taking in other's works usually gives me ideas on how to push through my own blocks, whether they be from style problems or lack of ideas or whatever.

Thank you for the ask, amayis!

[tillytherandomfanficwriter]

AHAHAHAHAHAHA I GOT FOUR BINGOS NOW ON @feedthefandomfest's OG BINGO CARD it only took yeeting myself into the GoW fandom fully and also for Arcane season 2 to come out. I AM DETEREMIND TO FINISH THIS DAMN CARD BY THE END OF THE YEAR THO yes I only have a month SHUT UP I CAN DO THIS Arcane season 2 powers me

Rec list time below the cut! Also including one of the fics from the first bingo I got cause I remembered it, lol. (Also, if you haven't watched Act 1 of Arcane, season 2, some of the fics included here will hold spoilers for Act 1! So be wary!)

"Of Atreus and Calliope" by ArlenianChronicles Slams fist, swiftly followed by my head, on table. Inhales sharply, lifts head- THIS. FIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCC- Have you ever wanted to read a fic starring protective big bro Atreus with little sis Calliope going on a cross country/... continental road trip with a healthy dose of family drama, angst, fluff and sibling bonding, followed by a slice-of-life style with the first three seasonings mentioned above coming in spades? Maybe some Sindri grappling with his feelings and trauma as a side dish? And some Atreboda for the sauce? THEN BOY OH BOY DO I HAVE THE FIC FOR YOU! Essentially, it's exactly what I just described. Atreus more or less accidentally kidnaps Calliope from Elsyium which brings her back to life (Kratos' kin are just built different, ig) and the two end up going on a cross country AND continental journey through Greece and the Roman Empire as they try to get back to Midgard, making friends and enemies along the way. Once they do, Calliope learns how to adjust to life in Jotunheim, gets to create a Calliope Found Family Collection, meets a still very angry Sindri and Atreus... Atreus gets to try and figure out how to tell his dad "hey, your daughter's back!" without sending his old man to the grave for the... what, 10th time? I'm really oversimplifying it, but this is already long enough, lol.

Keep in mind, this was written before Valhalla came out, so that's why some things might seem a little off. Also, it's set in the God of War universe. There's a decent amount of canon typical violence in it (also, istg everyone in the cast needs therapy, lmao). It's so good, guys, it's so. GOOD. URGH

"don't do anything you'll regret" by Perfectharmonyloveschaos Have you ever wondered how you make the saddest and most horrifying part of a thing, whether it be a video game, movie, TV show, book, comic or whatever else, EVEN MORE horrifying and sad than it already is? No? Well, too bad, I'm introducing a fic to you that managed to do that anyways. I was left SPEECHLESS when I finished reading it, all I knew was that felt the jumble of emotions I did when Brok died but WORSE. And honestly, that's a pretty damn impressive feat.

Uh, in regards to TWs... Well, how many of you know the myth where Loki gets his mouth sewn shut? Cause, uh... Odin does that to Atreus. And it's violent. Also Brok still dies, so.

"Nightmares Everlasting" by tinycrown So good so good so good so SO good, holy shit- (this can be applied to ALL of their GoW fics, lol) Basic plot, Atreus has a vision of the prophecy where his dad dies at Thor's hand, and DOES NOT LIKE IT. Featuring good dad Kratos caring for his son during the aftermath of the vision. My GODS the way this person writes Atreus scratches an itch in my brain SO WELL

"Burnt Primrose" by fayeerie A very good fic following Freyr and his experiences with fire. He doesn't like it very much. Featuring a little study on his relationship with Freya pre marriage to Odin.

Freyr gets set on fire here, and while it's not terribly graphic, it could still be quite uncomfy for some, so tread carefully!

"serendipity" by quoichiant A Yone/Aphelios slowburn AU, with extremely overworked and stressed out college student Aphelios, and a honestly done with life producer!Yone. So, funny story. I remembered I commented on this one for the rarepair spot not long after I uploaded my first bingo, lol. Then I wondered if they actually count as a rarepair, so I decided to check. The League of Legends fandom on AO3 has 19,515 works (at the time of checking). Of those works, the Yone/Aphelios pairing has 56. Yeah, I think they count, at least for me and my tastes, XD

"Got Your Heart In A Headlock" by GerardRay_15 A CaitVi fic. A very good, very tender, very loving CaitVi fic. I sorely needed this, lmao.

It's implied that Vi has a past of sexual abuse in this one, so tread carefully!

"If you want me to, I'll share my heart" by N3VERAGOD Just a sweet, fluffy CaitVi fic that I DESPERATELY needed after the gut punch known as episode 3 of season 2 (iykyk)

It's implied these two fucked the night before the fic takes place, and they're both naked, although nothing is ever explicitly stated (minus some kiss attacks)

"Of the Northmost Winds and Skies" by xxiyu I feel like this is one of the more famous HiJack fics out there, lol. And for good reason! SUCH a good fic, always happy to come back to it if I need a pick me up. Another 'Jack gets yeeted back to the past' fic, but this time with Jaime and Baby Tooth along for the ride! And not only do they meet the Berkians, but they also meet an enemy I think Jack would've liked to have never met for the rest of his life, lol. Also, if you like slowburn, HERE YOU GO! YOU GET... good, lord, I think like, 19-ish chapters of pining?? I think halfway through it I started yelling out loud, "oh, would you just kiss already, you dumb gay fucks(affectionate)??", if that gives you any idea how well it was written, lol.

Aaaand, that's it for this round! With Arcane season 2 here, I'll probably be satiating myself between Acts with fics, so hopefully I'll be able to finish the last four spots in quick succession! Still super happy I decided to do this challenge - my confidence needed it, and I think it's even been helping a little with my social anxiety?? Who knows, lol

Anyways, bye!

[misc-obeyme]

i have two one shot ideas, one of which is a song fic and the other is a royal au, both with mammon and my mc *head in hands* also I'm getting a commission of the scene where me and Solomon accidentally gang up on mammon akskfj

where was i?? MOVIE THEATER. okay obviously Solomon bought the tickets, so I feel like me and Mammon would probably fight to pay for snacks. Either Solomon pays when we're distracted, or Mammon snatches my card and sticks it in his wallet with a declaration of "I'm paying tonight."

when we go to find our seats, I immediately claim the aisle seat. The idea of having to climb over someone and be an inconvenience is mortifying. Cue Mammon taking the middle seat and claiming he'll be there to protect us both when we get scared. So it goes, Solomon, Mammon, then me.

Throughout the movie, Solomon is completely tuned in, he's so invested. Aside from the occasional yelp from Mammon, and me jumping in my seat, the two of us are holding it together really well !!! Until a really big jump scare, and me and Mammon turn to cling to each other, only to smack our heads together when we try to hide our face in the other's shoulder. Ouch </3

Solomon nudges Mammon to switch seats with him, which Mammon reluctantly does. Solomon places his arms on the armrests, palms facing up as an invitation to hold hands and comfort us, but he's got the biggest grin on his face. The next jump scare has Mammon grabbing Solomon's hand and squeezing it like a lifeline.

I'm more hesitant. It takes me a minute to instead link my arm with his, basically clinging to his bicep as I stare straight ahead without acknowledging what I'm doing. I occasionally hide my face against him when I think another jump scare will happen, but curiosity is cruel because I'm definitely peeking one eye to catch what happens. Catch me having nightmares </3

Solomon is living his best life. He's doing amazing. He can die happy. But it also really cements it for him that oh, he really does have an attraction to these two people. Being able to be their protector is really making his heart warm. The way the two of them are seeking comfort from him in their own ways. First 'Oh. Oh.' moment for Solomon. He's already scheming proper dates.

After the movie ends, Mammon is in full denial mode about how scared he was. Yet, even as we're walking out of the theatre, he still hasn't let Solomon's hand go. Not until we get back to the car. And it's already almost 1:30 in the morning, but we're still reluctant to turn in for the night. And that's when I suggest checking out this 24 hour diner that I swear has the best milkshakes ever known.

diner scene is gonna be so fun and then the sleepover!! This wasn't as good because I'm half asleep but work ended on a sour note (i definitely could've handled a situation better, imposter syndrome is hitting hard aaa I've never experienced that). But I needed to cheer myself up and what better way to do that than by thinking about my silly little story !! I got the wip sketch back from the artist and it made me so giddy. I'm slowly getting closer to actually writing. Soon !! I just need to be bullied into it lmaoo

Also the new ax merch 😭 what am i gonna do with a light stick? absolutely nothing. Am i still gonna hunt it down on eBay if it's not available online? Absolutely. OKAY HAVE A GOOD DAY/NIGHT AND FIND A LUCKY PENNY ON THE GROUND !! I CAN'T SAY STAY HYDRATED BC I DON'T EVEN KEEP MYSELF HYDRATED OKAY BYEE

- ✨ anon

Oh? You need some bullying?? Listen, admittedly I'm not very good at bullying... I definitely go more for the positive encouragement, but uh here's my attempt. *ahem* WRITE THAT STORY. OR ELSE!!

How was that? You're totally gonna write it now, right?? LOL!

Anyway, I say write all the stories!! One shots, too! Sometimes it's fun to do lil one shots because they don't take quite as long!

I loved you and Mammon smacking your heads together lol I'm sorry but that's just soooo cute!

AH SOLOMON stepping in to be your protector alds;kfjdlkfj. I LOVE IT. What a schemer, I love him so much! I also love that this is his oh moment lol. YESSSSS realizing your feelings!!

Ah but I'm sorry work ended badly! Imposter syndrome is a bitch, but it's also a big fat lie. I find the best way to deal with it is to ignore it as much as possible! Or replace it with true mantras that usually helps for me, too!

I haven't seen the ax merch! But you know, sometimes it's about having the item and displaying it, you don't have to use a light stick for anything! Hmm. I feel like I'm starting to sound like Levi lol.

OKAY let us both work on hydration then lol!! I hope you have a wonderful day/night as well!! I wait for the next scene with anticipation!!

[chaosk1ng]

Isaac Clarke somehow ended up with the Mandalorians again. I swear I didn't mean for this to happen again.

Fuck, I'm back at it again.

Another Star Wars x Dead Space crossover, this time it’s the original thought process! (I lied, it's the original era I had in mind but not the same thought process.)

So Isaac once again manages to get stuck in a galaxy far far away, only this time it's the prequel era, I’m thinking of the Clone Wars era.

If he’s in Mandalore then he could be mistaken for a new type of Mandalorian or knock off version that neither Death Watch or the New Mandalorians want. The True Mandalorians probably would have mixed feelings, he could be an asset but he’s an unknown party that doesn’t even seem to want to be involved and knows nothing about them despite looking like the Wish version of them. Maybe he accidentally gets involved with their plot, honestly I can’t see him helping Death Watch, the only way they could get him to help would be tricking him but not only do I think they wouldn’t want to be associated with Isaac but also because I think Isaac wouldn’t get tricked that easily by them. Then again, he did go to the Ishimura for his dead girlfriend who he thought was alive, but that was because of the Marker’s influence so that’s a pass. He probably would help the True Mandalorians since the New Mandalorians don’t like armor or violence which would suck for Isaac who just committed a massacre. The mental images of a blood stained Isaac appearing in a crowd of New Mandalorians is hilarious.

If he does get involved with all the Mandalorians jazz that goes on then he can do the other stuff after. Now I wanna expand on Isaac and the Mandalorians. Shootdangit. (Yes, I do mean that to be one word, that’s how I say it irl)

So focusing on this now, Isaac could (should) probably be placed before Jaster’s death (romance? No, not again. Stop giving me potential old men yaoi material. It’s not my fault they wear helmets). Man accidentally stops Jaster’s death if he ended up before it happens, but also consider this, if it’s after then Jango is parentless, Isaac is parentless, Isaac can become a bad influence on this kid. I’m not saying Jango should get adopted by Isaac cause they both now have problems they need to deal with at the moment to even think about that type of thing, but Jango picking up Isaac’s habits is funny to think of. Jango just curb stops everything, and learns curses from Isaac which would be headturners in this universe since they don’t exist, but please let someone say fuck. Jaster doesn’t need to die to have Isaac influencing Jango, I think he could get along with Isaac and understand where he’s coming from and why he’s confused and likely panicked. I was gonna say that maybe Isaac could try and fight Death Watch before Jango’s parents die but I don’t want to deal with the effect that would happen so Jango, it’s easier with Jaster since you still keep the connections and all that but also see how much the years have worn on them. Isaac needs someone to help him learn, if it’s between the three factions then the True Mandalorians.

HOLY SHIT I JUST REMEMBERED ARLA

I was writing a part later in this rant and remembered her and had an idea, Isaac saves Arla before meeting Jaster and Jango and basically adopts her, that or gives her to Jaster. I don’t care if Jaster isn’t their dad in either of the canons, he can be if I will it! I have the power over the canon of MY fic/rant, fuck you Star Wars writers! (jk, I love star wars, just not the crap in this Disney era, some was good tho.) Anyway, if Arla just kinda forces Isaac to adopt her or if something that happens subconsciously then both her and Jango can compete against each other about who has the better dad. Isaac is somehow getting by and Jaster has already been raising this boy for years up until now, you would think that Jaster would win but Isaac has some things on Jaster, like his weapons and modules and literally everything he possesses because I am very willing to bring up the crap his RIG can do. He can store information of different kinds, has a navigation system that has both a map and guide to show him where he needs to go and can store things of all kinds in it, he can survive in space with it and knows how long he can last AND not only walk on any surface while in the vacuum of space but also move however he wants. You can argue the Mandalorians can use their Jetpacks to do the same but my man’s abilities have not been hindered, he weapons all still work the same and so do his modules, the only thing holding him back is the fact he has limited air at a time and has only fought the Necromorphs. This is ignoring the other features the RIG has. Fuck you, he can hold his own decently by my standards which admittedly are not that high. Anyway, the sibling rivalry is real, one of them has a dad who was and is seen by them as the Mand’alor and this deeply traumatized man who only a few days ago just wanted to save his (dead) girlfriend.

Anyway, if he meets a different faction, he could meet the Children of the Watch. In my last rant of ideas with him in the Mandalorian, I had him co-parenting Grogu with Din, in this one Isaac can become a parent again but instead of Grogu it’s Din this time. He could either appear with the Children of the Watch a little before they rescue him or he could appear as they arrive to help. Either way, we can get Din getting raised by Isaac and him reluctantly becoming a parent, once again he could teach him curse words, have people say fuck in Star Wars, it’s fucking funny. I can’t see Isaac becoming a Mandalorian but I can see him having either good or neutral relations with them, some would like him and maybe befriend him for his winning personality but others may just like him for jobs they need done. Anyway, he could have connections to the Mandalorians and somewhat raise Din in that lifestyle, maybe just have it influence him so if he really wants to he could become one in the future. I could see him wanting to because they’re the closest thing to Isaac in the fact that they wear armor all the time and are warriors, he doesn’t need to know Isaac is just running on adrenaline while on fight or flight mode. Imagine his surprise when he finds out Isaac doesn’t actually know what makes a Mandalorian and the fact he’s just an Engineer and his one of a kind weapons are just tools he found, Din doesn’t need to find out about the Necromorphs until he’s older, hell maybe not at all. Point is that he could just have an accidental baby acquisition fic with him fumbling and eventually going into hiding as the Empire forms. Maybe we see his reaction to the Great Purge, maybe he helped a few of the few he was close to, maybe he finds out after it happened by a Mandalorian friend he had that he comforts, maybe he helped a few clans escape, maybe he was there and saw so many die, maybe he was hiding as he saw the terror unfold, either way he would be devastated at the amount of people he knew and their sudden deaths. He could help keep contact between clans since he isn’t Mandalorian and doesn’t look like one, either way he would be an asset to them after the Purge.

Another thing I want to briefly mention here is him meeting Revan, not long but just a little thought. If he went to the Old Republic and met Revan then he would be so confused if he stuck with him or had any form of contact with him. I love Revan and all but for someone like Isaac who has no idea what a Mandalorian, Jedi and Sith are he would be confused as hell to meet him, my man Revan has been all three. I just want to see how confused Isaac can get with Revan.

Anyway, Old Men Yaoi time™! I think I just like shipping masked men with masked men but still. Just like the last rant with the Mandalorian, this is just an excuse to have the two co-parent Jango and Arla. Maybe Arla does become Isaac’s kid and her and Jango think that since they’re both siblings and they both have their own dad that it only makes sense if they finalize it by getting them together. Basically they Parent Trap Jaster and Isaac, maybe the other True Mandalorians help or start a betting pool, some could try and sabotage it so they win said betting pool. Isaac could ask some of the parents of the group about tips in raising a child to which some could point him to Jaster if they’re trying to help get them together since he’s raising her brother, or if they’re trying to stall then they either will give him advice or warn him not to ask Jaster since he might become a father for Arla instead of him. I don’t think Isaac sees this as a problem because he knows they both have shit they have to deal with and he’s sure that he can’t be a proper father figure for her and does go to Jaster regardless who could give him good insight. Jaster could already have a thing for Isaac for saving Arla, his son’s sister who they thought was dead, and saving his life either before or after meeting the True Mandalorians, Isaac could’ve barely found them in time to save Jaster, maybe give him some medpacks so he doesn’t die. This could lead to him admiring or respecting Isaac to keep it platonic or have it also cause him to develop a crush on him and eventually develop as they talk more and get closer, add in the fact he’s raising the sister of your son and it’s already a done deal for Jaster, he will be too far gone while Isaac is hesitant as hell. I would like to say it’s one of those ‘Blank fell first but Blank fell faster’ but if they fell for eachother then it’s ‘Jaster fell fast and hard while Isaac is slowly walking down a slope at a snail’s pace.’ or alternatively, ‘Jaster fell fast and hard while Isaac is slowly climbing down like he has acrophobia.’

Anyway, this derailed again, it was originally gonna just be Isaac fumbling his way through the Clone Wars and somehow helping resolve it, y’know like other crossovers that are just fix-its and have goofy interactions with the characters but it once again ended up with Isaac getting caught up with the Mandalorians. You can see how my views changed as I went on. I need to stop, get me out the kitchen, this ain’t what I meant to cook.

[signiorbenedickofpadua]

"lecturing" for the wip game! xo @hardly-an-escape

Certainly, my dear ❤️ I believe I've described the premise once before, but I'll give you a little recap anyway as well as a snippet! Perhaps this will somehow help this poor fic get out of WIP hell... I know how I want it to end, but I just can't figure out whether to throw some smut in the middle or just...skip it, uncharacteristically enough... A wise reader may at this point ask, "Why don't you just write the ending first then and decide later if you feel like calling it done or if you want to add a sex scene?" Well. That's a good question. Hm. I'll have to think on that.

So, anyway, it's a human AU wherein Professor!Hob (well, lecturer, technically) holds a series of intro lectures on Literary History. A certain tall, dark mysterious stranger sits in the front row every week without fail, watching and listening very intently. Of course, Hob does his best to ignore how attractive this guy is, because god dammit he's trying to be a better person these days and hooking up with his students does not help with that. Except...is he actually a student...? *the soundtrack in the background turns mysterious*

You may find out if you read the snippet below and also PART TWO and PART THREE since several of you asked about this WIP! (List of titles in the og WIP game post here.)

PART ONE

Part of the problem was that the man always sat in the front row, thus giving Hob far too good of a view of his full body, which was just as unfairly gorgeous as his face. His proclivity for the skinniest of jeans did nothing to help Hob in he Sisyphean task of keeping his eyes away, nor did the fact that he kept looking right back.

Of course, Hob was lecturing, and so it was to be expected that his students would look at him when he talked, but he also expected them to look away at least some of the time. At their notebooks or laptops as they took notes, for example, which this bloke never ever seemed to do. Sure, it was not an advanced course by any definition, and he might have a good memory, or was one of those people who preferred not to distract themselves with taking notes during lectures, instead refreshing his memory by studying at home later. Or perhaps he didn’t care about getting more than a barely passing grade for a basic course like this—except he appeared to be paying rapt attention at all times. It was likely this intense focus which made it so hard for Hob to just ignore him. He had taught plenty of good-looking people throughout his career, and it had never been a problem until now. He was quite practised at turning off the part of the brain that noticed such things, and, even when he did notice, it normally didn’t fluster him like this. The man just had a…a weight to his gaze, somehow. His pale eyes were piercing, and Hob could practically feel them boring into him even when his back was turned. He also believed that he had caught them wandering over his body every so often—lingering on his arms when he rolled his sleeves up to combat the heat of a fully packed and poorly ventilated classroom, homing in on the sliver of tummy skin exposed as he had to stretch up to turn the projector on with a pointer when the damn remote control malfunctioned again, and fixating on the hint of chest hair visible that one time he had accidentally left one too many buttons undone on his shirt. He really, really wished that he had not noticed any of this, because the only thing worse than being attracted to a student was being attracted to a student who reciprocated. Fortunately, the man had done nothing to indicate that he intended to actually make a move on Hob, which was some small consolation. In fact, many tortuous weeks passed without him saying a single a word, never raising his hand to answer one of Hob’s questions or ask one of his own, never approaching him after lectures with queries about the curriculum or the final exam, never even talking to his classmates. All he did was sit there, in the same place every time (front row, third seat from the right), silently staring at Hob while nursing a cup of coffee from Bennie’s café two buildings over. Then, every week without fail, he quietly slipped out of the room exactly five minutes before the time was up and the lecture ended, presumably to rush to some other lecture on a tight schedule. Hob could only hope that he checked the information he put up online about suggested reading and the end-of-term examination, since he never stayed to hear Hob’s reminders at the end of the lectures.

[wetcatspellcaster]

While I love hearing about your fic writing, that last WIP Wendy has me curious. What is your thesis about??? How are you feeling so close to your submission deadline? What has teaching been like?

(I finished grad school 2 years ago, and remember the weight of academia acutely)

hey anon, thank you for asking (and condolences on the typo ;) )

i'm a PhD student based in a literature department, but my topic is actually... *fanfare* D&D! that's right, she's that one note, everybody!

anyway, my thesis examines D&D gameplay as reader response to fantasy literature - arguing that often, the ways people play reflects the things they wish was different in the books/media they consume. E.g. people who play/write drow or orc characters no longer tend to perpetuate the racism of the Forgotten Realms, implying they don't appreciate racism in fantasy, or people often queer their favourite characters from media and turn them into something new, etc. It basically takes theories from fan studies and fantasy literature academia, and applies them to D&D as a way of showing that D&D has always had a large role in shaping fantasy literature and what people expect from fantasy :)

as to how i feel finishing - my final deadline, due to my sick leave, is June 28th. I'm currently completing a full draft by the end of the month for my supervisors to read through and offer corrections on. Mostly... just tired? And scared, tbh. I've been funded and thus not really participating in capitalism for 3 and a half years, so I'm not exactly relishing unemployment and job hunting, and academic jobs in the UK are a depressing prospect as there's not many of them. It's also too early for me to do anything about it - the most useful thing for me to do right now is simply finish the thesis, so I don't outstay my welcome and my funding. I know I'll be fine eventually, but it's just going to suck.

Teaching is genuinely wonderful! I teach first year English Lit (basically Novel 101), which is like karma, as it's many books I didn't enjoy in my undergrad, but they are much easier to read now I'm at the skill level I'm at! If a class is chatty and invested, it's genuinely so much fun - it doesn't feel like work. But even the quiet hungover early morning classes are rewarding, bc often people get better grades in their finals than their midterms. Even if I have nothing to do with that, and they've just gotten better on their own, it's nice to see people improve and succeed :) (and know you didn't accidentally fuck em up along the way)

[universitypenguin]

Hey beautiful! How are you? How is the writing? I am missing Lloyd and princess so much to the point where I am going to have to reread their fic🫣will they be making a return in the near future? No pressure, just asking because I genuinely love those two.

Hey! Thanks so much for reaching out, it means a lot to know people still care about my writing - especially since I haven’t been very productive as of late. I know there’s lots of other talented fanfic authors out there for you to enjoy. 💛

I've been hanging in there, thank you for asking. Things have been pretty hectic lately for me. I’ve been working on chapter 27 off and on for the past two months and kept getting discouraged when it wasn’t turning out how I envisioned. Then, at the beginning of April, I got a job offer. It was very exciting and I accepted it immediately - however the process of starting that new job was ended up being very time consuming. The job itself is actually pretty easy, especially compared to what I used to do, which is great news for me!

Also, in the middle of job searching this winter/spring, I accidentally let one of my major professional certifications expire. (A word of advice: do NOT do this, it sucks. 😑)

Unfortunately it’s not a license I’ve actively worked under for the past two years, so I wasn’t eligible to just throw in some education hours and appeal the expiration. Because I hadn’t used my license recently, I had to take a semester long college course and re-test with the state and pass their in person practicals before they’d let me apply to get my license back. Basically they made me start over from almost zero. I was not thrilled.

That class is just now wrapping up. I still have to do the final exam, take my state licensing exam, pass the state practicals, and then I’ll be allowed to apply for a new license. It’s been a lot. Learn from my mistakes: don’t let your certifications expire. Those test are all coming up in the next two weeks.

Anyways, back to the point.

TPATL definitely took a hit during all this chaos, especially around midterms when everything began to pile up and the job change started to take shape. I kept promising myself I'd dive back into it, but life just kept throwing curveballs – like a last-minute job interview I had to rush off to, classes that got busy, etc.

But hey, I've finally managed to tackle Chapter 27. I admit, it wasn't pretty at first. The whole thing just felt flat, lacking any spark to keep readers engaged. It took me a while to pinpoint what was missing, but in the past few days, I've been able to breathe some life back into it. Right now I’m working on the last two scenes from Lloyd’s perspective and I have a couple more scenes to write from Princess’ POV.

I’m hoping to finish the chapter by the end of the week. Friday, perhaps?

Honestly, sometimes I wish someone would just chain me to my desk and force me to write! But I'm determined to get back on track, especially knowing there are readers like you who care about Lloyd and Princess's journey. So, thank you for your patience and understanding – it means the world to me. Hang tight, I promise TPATL will be back on track soon!