#in which dean keeps the mark of cain

[motelfetish]

dean is super possessive of sam, but it’s like this: dean doesn’t care if sam fucks women sometimes. dean does too. sometimes you just want a taste, you know? but what dean will not allow is sam to fuck another dude. girls are one thing, it’s not cheating if sam is banging someone working with different material than dean. but guys? guys hit too close to home. sam can only have one cock, and that’s deans. cas, though…

s: what about cas?

d: what about cas?

s: we fuck him!

d: cas doesn’t count! obviously! 

s: why not? he’s a guy. he’s got a dick that isn’t yours.

d: he’s family, sam!

s: do you even hear yourself? 

d: c’mon, dude. you know what i meant.

s: yeah, i do, and it’s incredibly fucked up. 

d: yeah, well, fucked up ain’t anything new for us, is it? 

[caspock]

why did dean get to bond more with claire than cas

[fallenangelblade]

ohhhh. last half of season 10 makes me want to throttle someone

[glorystark]

Empty eyes | Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean doesn't take Charlie's death too well and because of the Mark of Cain affecting him, he tells you things that will regret.

Warnings: moc!Dean Winchester, Dean being a dick, minor mentions of injury, swearing, ANGST, major character's death

Pairing: Dean Winchester × reader

Featuring: Sam Winchester

Word count: 2,3k

We watched in agony as Charlie's body, wrapped around a white sheet, burned in the flames. This should never have happened to her kind soul. She died so we could save Dean. I couldn't help but feel guilty; my heart ached because I lost a friend, again. I knew Sam felt the same. We both asked Charlie for help with the Book of the Damned, and we both lied to Dean about the book being destroyed. Now it was too late to make things right. Memories flashed through my eyes, making me tear up. I remembered when she helped us with the Dick situation, or when I taught her some hunter-kind-of-tricks. How happy she was and wouldn't stop thanking me. She didn't deserve this, anyone but her.

“Charlie,” Sam started, grabbing my and probably Dean's attention. “We are gonna miss you. You're the best.” He stopped when his voice cracked, and now I was sure he felt far worse than me because looking back, he suggested not telling Dean about the Book of the Damned not being destroyed, which I didn't agree with at first. But seeing Dean, my Dean, slowly fade away right in front of my eyes changed my opinion. Maybe it was selfish, me and Sam both were. But we couldn't let Dean become something he fears, a Monster. We couldn't lose another person, another family member, but we didn't realize who we were putting in danger on this path.

“We love you, Charlie, and I'm so sorry,” I said, blinking through tears.

“Shut up,” Dean said coldly, making Sam and me look at him. “You got her killed. You don't get to apologize.” He continued.

“Dean-“ Sam started, but Dean cut him off.

“You too, you two are the reason she is dead,” he said, not taking his eyes off the flames.

“We were trying to help you,” I said, still looking at him.

“I didn't need help,” he said bitterly. "I told you to leave it alone.”

“What were we supposed to do, just watch you die?” Sam asked, not letting me be the only one receiving the cold tone from his older brother.

“The mark isn't gonna kill me.”

“Maybe not, but when it's done with you, you won't be you anymore,” I stated. “Dean, you're all we got. So of course we were gonna fight for you because that's what we do,” I said softly.

“Yeah, she's right, we had a shot-“ Sam was cut off again by Dean.

“Yeah, you had a shot. Charlie is dead.” He finally turned his head to look at me and his brother, who was standing next to me. His dark emerald eyes bore into mine, and I couldn't recognize them. Never have I ever seen him look at me with those eyes. Because no matter how much crap we went through, he always made sure I was fine, and his eyes held nothing but sweetness and, on most occasions, worry. “Nice shot.”

“Are you even listening to me? You think I'm ever gonna forgive myself for that?!” I snapped, not being able to keep my voice down anymore. He is grieving, but so am I. If I could, I would trade places with her.

“You know what I think,” he started, still with the same voice tone. “I think it should be you up there and not her.”

I felt my heart break for the hundredth time today. I parted my lips, not taking my teary eyes off him, which clearly showed how hurt I was. Sam let out a small gasp and widened his eyes after he heard Dean's words, clearly not expecting his brother to go that far.

I knew he blamed me, probably even more than Sam. But knowing that he wanted me dead hurt more than any physical torture I've experienced.

Sam called his name, still shocked after what he heard, but his brother just walked away, breaking my heart more and more.

—————

It has been a week since I lost Charlie, since I lost my Dean. He has been searching for the Stynes ever since but has been having a bit of trouble finding their location. So meanwhile, he went on a few solo hunts. He hasn't said a word to me and to Sam, just a few like ‘buy some beers’ ‘did you find anything about the Stynes’.

He found another hunt for today and was packing his bag in his own room. We both haven't stepped in our shared room ever since the accident, which meant we weren't even sleeping on the same bed. I'm done with being ignored, so I knocked on his door and opened it without waiting for any response. He didn't even turn around, probably knowing it was me.

“Dean,” I called his name, not even knowing what I wanna talk about, but getting him to look at me was the first step. “Dean,” I called, this time louder, and when he still didn't turn around, I walked towards him and grabbed his arm. “Alright, I'm done. When will you finally stop ignoring me?!”

He looked at my hand, which was grabbing his arm, and slowly turned around, finally looking at my face. “I'm not ignoring you, I just don't want to talk to you or be near you,” he said bitterly, pulling his arm away and reaching for his door.

“Dean, you know you're not the only one who lost someone, okay? And believe me, I know it's my fault she's gone, and I'll never forgive myself for that. But, god, you're practically killing me. I miss you,” I said desperately, waiting for something in his eyes to change, waiting for him to embrace me in his strong arms, but... Nothing. His eyes didn't even hold hatred anymore, just emptiness.

“I don't know what you expect me to say, ‘I'm sorry you were so stupid’ ‘I'm sorry you got another person killed off’ ‘I'm sorry you're so fucking useless’ Huh?! Is that what you want me to say? You want me to feel sorry for you?!” he yelled, showing the anger and darkness in his eyes while he harshly slammed me to the wall, making me whimper slightly. His words cut deep into my skin, but I tried my best to ignore them, knowing this Dean wasn't really my Dean.

“I want you to understand, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I want you to tell me that we're gonna go through this like we always do,” I said softly, looking deeply into his eyes, trying to crack him.

He let out a dark chuckle and grasped my shoulders, lowering his head to be on the same height level with me. “You want me to tell you that we're gonna go through this? Well, baby, in that way, I'd be a big liar.”

“Dean, me and Sam, we are so close to saving you. Please, just don't let the mark control you,” I begged, feeling small under his touch.

“I don't want nor need you two saving me, and believe me, at this very moment, I'm trying to not let the mark control me, so don't provoke me,” he whispered against my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"I thought you trusted me.”

“Well, that trust was destroyed when you got someone who was like a sister to me killed. Have you ever noticed how many innocent people died because you were being too stupid?” he said harshly.

"We all have made mistakes, Dean," I said, as I thought about the hunts where innocent people died, and I couldn't save them. I didn't want Dean to know how much his words were affecting me, but, god, I felt like a crumpled paper.

“Seems like that's the only thing you ever do,” he smirked, letting his eyes fall on the floor again before looking up at my eyes again. “Tell me, how does it feel knowing you don't mean anything to anybody and you're just a burden in our lives? How does it feel knowing nobody loves you?”

That's it. That was the punch line to make me break into tears.

“Y-you love me, you said that before.”

“You know I lie to get laid,” he said, smirking, proud of his response.

My heart was racing more and more, and I felt nauseous.

“Dean, please-“

“You're nothing, do you hear me? Nothing!” he grabbed my cheeks harshly. “Your existence doesn't matter. You.don't.matter.” he said, spitting the words out before letting me go. He took his bag and walked out of the room, not even glancing at me. I slid down the wall as I started sobbing silently.

Then I heard a buzz from my phone.

New message from Sammy:

“Y/N, Dean just said he found a hunt, probably three to four werewolves, and he told me to go with him. I was really surprised but didn't question him. I think he's getting better. I'll also talk to him on the road. Next time, he'll definitely ask you too, just like old times. Don't stay up and don't worry; we got this :) love you.”

He asked Sam to go, but not me. If he hadn't told me that he hated me a few minutes ago, I'd think he was worried. But if it was really 3 or 4 werewolves, there's nothing to be worried about. He just wants to stay away from me. He told me I was a burden to them; he'll probably throw me out of the bunker soon.

Dark thoughts ran through my mind, and suddenly a rush of anxiety ran through me. What if there were more than a few werewolves? What if they get hurt? What if Dean hates me even more?

I checked Sam's message again and saw that he sent me the address of where the werewolves' location is and where the hunt would probably take place. I quickly rushed to my room, grabbed my car keys, and went to drive to the location.

—————

I was hiding behind some of the trees in the forest, watching as each of the boys fought one werewolf, two already dead ones on the floor.

Everything seemed good so far; I mean, their guns were on the floor, but they were fighting each werewolf single handed and there was no need for me to make my presence known. The boys were winning as always. And that's when I realized they don't really need me in their life. I knew the words that came out of Dean's mouth tonight weren't really Dean's, my Dean. But he was somehow right; before I became the hunter I am today, I made many mistakes. Some were small, and some led to people getting hurt or even killed. I also put their lives in danger multiple times because I was being reckless. Finding the demons that killed my parents blinded my vision. I was ready to get back to the bunker when I saw both of the werewolves giving up until I noticed something.

A werewolf close to Sam's back, and it seemed like none of the brothers noticed him. I searched for my gun but remembered I forgot it in the backseat of my car. I cursed under my breath and did the only thing possible right now to save Sam. I couldn't let Dean lose another person, especially his brother, who I knew meant the world to him. I couldn't put him through something like that again when there's a chance to save the younger Winchester.

So I ran towards Sam, trying my best to not slip because of the woods on the floor. The Werewolf was close, and nobody noticed him. I'm not the only stupid one after all. The boys turned their heads to me for a slight second, surprised at my presence, but didn't stop fighting the other werewolves.

Until I pushed Sam away from the werewolf he was fighting onto the floor. He seemed confused at first, until he saw it. I assumed Dean did too but couldn't be too sure since he was behind me. I let out an agonizing scream when the werewolf grazed his claws into my stomach and the other one, which Sam was fighting before, grazed his claws into my back before my lifeless body fell on the floor. Dean didn't hesitate more seconds before getting his gun from the floor and shooting all the werewolves.

I was bleeding like a waterfall from my body and my mouth. But the good thing is-

I didn't feel any pain, or anything in that matter…

Dean Winchester’s Pov:

No no no.

This can't be happening.

It's all a nightmare, just another stupid nightmare.

I heard Sam's crying voice telling the love of my life, his best friend, to wake up, holding her torn apart body in his arms, asking her why she pushed him away. But there was no answer.

It's a nightmare happening in real life.

Her beautiful y/e/c are open but so empty, unrecognizable.

I stood over her body, not being able to move from my spot.

There is so much blood everywhere.

Her blood.

This is hell.

No, I’ve been to hell and it's worse than hell.

I started tearing up more and more, reality hitting me more every second.

I let out an angry scream and fell on my knees when I remembered my last words to her.

“You're nothing, do you hear me? Nothing! Your existence doesn't matter. You.don't.matter.”

She wasn't nothing, she was my everything.

She mattered, she was the reason I kept going, now she's gone and it's all my fault.

All my fault.

All of the words I said came back to me, making my chest hurt.

As I knelt beside her lifeless body, surrounded by the aftermath of our shattered world, I whisper into the silent abyss, "I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so sorry."

And deep down I felt the Mark laughing…

[chiisana-sukima]

What's your opinion on the take that Sam is always running away?

The short answer is I think spn's ethics are insane.

The longer answer is that if you did a rewatch and counted up all the times that Sam objectively "runs away" from a problem/his family/etc and all the times Dean "runs away" from the same, I'm not sure who would actually win. But I do think the narrative frames Sam as the one who runs, and that, over the long term, it treats "running away" as his cardinal sin.

For example, when Dean runs away from his mistakes in Road Trip, the narrative does frame that as immature and self-destructive, and punishes him with the Mark of Cain. But by s11, this is reframed briefly as a "we" problem in s11a (Sam: "if we don't change, right now, all of our crap is just gonna keep repeating itself") and then never held against Dean personally thereafter. Whereas Sam's equivalent attempt at running away--the s4 demon blood arc--continues to be held against him by the narrative until at least 13x21 (Cas: we let Lucifer out of the Cage.)

Even more interestingly, at least to me, with the exception of Stanford, the narrative also tends to treat Dean's episodes of running away from Sam as "abandoning" him, but Sam's episodes of running away from Dean as "betraying" Dean.

This is Dean abandoning Sam to his fate as Lucifer's vessel. The narrative punishment is extreme, but not only does Dean get a do over in the same episode and it never comes up again, but the quote is remembered by fandom primarily as a quote about how close they are. And I do think that's borne out by the narrative. If Dean abandons Sam, the world will literally end.

Meanwhile though:

When Sam screws up with Dean, he's betraying him. The problem isn't just that Sam is an addict or that he ran away from Dean's attempt to forcibly detox him for his own somewhat questionable "good", but that he did so with a demon whore. It's portrayed as a personal betrayal in a way that Dean abandoning Sam to Lucifer is not.

In some ways, Sam is even the more steadfast brother. He may physically leave Dean at times but he never stops believing in Dean's capacity for good. When it's his turn to lock Dean in the panic room because Dean gives up and runs to destruction at the hands of Michael, he doesn't do it. And in the Mark of Cain arc, he affirms that even if Dean kills him, he accepts it as necessary and still believes Dean is a good man.

Which brings me to spn's ethics and fandom's response.

If there's one single thing that spn is entirely, completely, one hundred percent consistent on, it's that tumblr is wrong. You can't just walk out; leaving is always wrong and will usually end the world. It's wrong if it's temporarily for the evening because you'd like to have Thanksgiving dinner and your family doesn't do that, or for four years because you want to go to college, or for forever because all your remaining loved ones have been killed before your eyes, or if it's only a partial withdrawal because you want better boundaries in the face of years of violence and autonomy violations. (To be clear, spn thinks the violence and autonomy violations are wrong too; it's just especially adamant that the only appropriate response is self-sacrifice.) The only reason Sam is finally allowed to temporarily leave in the finale is because he so obviously no longer wants to.

And all of this, to be completely blunt, is batshit fucking crazy. And I mean that in the clinical technical sense of the word. As a system of ethics it's an enormous mess, as a behavioral guide it's guaranteed to result in inappropriate assignment of blame and unnecessary suffering, and it's hard to interpret it all for me personally as anything but a response to trauma.

I do think that on an emotional level there's something wildly compelling about it though, and it's fiction, after all, so there's nothing wrong with it as a fantasy. The idea that if only you could prove your loyalty strongly enough your family would finally accept you, flaws and all, is an impossible wish many of us have spent a lot of our real lives trying to actualize. And seeing it happen on screen when it can't happen irl can be cathartic, much like revenge stories can be cathartic even though irl revenge is a terrible idea. The vibes are, in short, without flaw.

The thing that's hard for me though is remembering that everyone irl grows at their own speed. Not everyone is in a position to cleanly separate their emotional enjoyment of a plotline or theme from their intellectual calculus about whether or not it makes any fucking sense--especially when those plotlines or themes are about violence, betrayal, abandonment, and abuse. And it's hard for me to remember sometimes that huge swathes of meta aren't actually the result of [insert negative judgement here] but are just reflective of a different series of experiences than the ones I happen to have had.

Honestly I find it frustrating. I wish people would be better about separating out what the story is saying from what they think of that message themselves. I feel like the format of fandom meta is often kind of a disaster. It adopts an authoritative, academic tone, but is usually actually used to express personal feelings and wishes without acknowledging that it's doing that.

It's not that I think people should have to disclose their personal experiences to write meta--on the contrary, sometimes that's helpful but sometimes it just makes it worse. Rather, I wish people would get in the habit of using more "I" statements and acknowledging their subjectivity more overtly. Back in the days when dinos roamed the earth and I was an undergrad, I learned that the use of the third person passive voice in academic writing is a political choice. It grants the illusion of more authority and objectivity than actually exists. I wish fandom would take up my professor's call to abandon it to some extent and say "I feel hurt that Sam left Dean alone with John to go to college" rather than "Sam is always running away".

[autisticandroids]

free space: medium-sized destiel

so in my reclists for @spnficrecfest i haven't been including many fics that are very "big destiel."

this is partly because i've been trying to keep the kudos count lower (though obviously this hasn't been absolute), and also because i actively did not include any "post empty destiel fix it" type fics in the dabb era reclist because they're kind of a genre unto themselves. nor have i intentionally made space in other reclists for fics that have a particular destiel romance novel vibe. obviously there's some, but those tend to dominate reclists, and i wanted to highlight smaller fics.

so this is my "big destiel" reclist, except i still did not include anything that had >2k kudos, because those are generally speaking pretty well known already.

some of these fics are small and just have the big destiel vibes, but a lot of them are more in the 1k kudos range than the hundred kudos range, on account of being big, or medium-sized, destiel.

in order of word count:

ain't that the worst thing you ever heard? by everytuesday, 1k

a couple of takes on the confession scene. very special to me.

rot and grace by extemporaneous, 3k, violence warning

cas watches dean murder the world. corruption kink.

some dying star looks dull in the light by sp8ce, 4k

heaven angst with a happy ending, post-empty.

one step closer by rhinestoneangels, 4k

an empty rescue. i love the empty geography in this one.

i didn't feel it on the first day, and now i got it in the worst way by wintertree, 6k

meg pov on a post-widower arc destiel.

the doorway to a thousand churches by sonatine, 6k

cas and the deans from goodbye stranger.

if you try sometimes, well you just might find by jenthesweetie, 9k

cas pov on dean's wants.

godot ain't got nothing on me and my baby by ilovehowyouletmefall, 10k

post empty, cas became death. the only way dean could see him is by dying.

before and after breakfast by spocklee, 10k

a silly little case where cas and dean realize how they see each other.

solitudes by ilovehowyouletmefall, 21k

cas sees dean see cas die. a wonderful little melodrama. i actually really liked how it handled dean's alcoholism (not really as something to be solved but just as a... reality to be dealt with) and i'm OBSESSED with the director's commentary. if this had been published in 2021 instead of 2023, every heller would have read it three times over.

powerless in dreams by calicoyak, 24k

a post-empty fic. i really liked some of the cas stuff in this one.

between a rock and a hard place by amidsizefrog, 24k

dean's dick doesn't work. also cas is dead. maybe the two are related.

every single thing by thestoryinsideme, 37k

a charming and goofy season nine fic. dean is a shitty little man in a very canonical way that is also deeply sweet and adorable.

a light above descending by hedderstheowl, 38k

a mark of cain fic with chefkiss angel stuff. a recent favorite of mine. really put this author on the map for me.

with understanding by apokteino, 427k, chose not to warn and noncon warning

yeah it's with understanding. you've heard of it. go read it now chop chop.

and if your wondering which fics (that you've probably read) got the axe for having too many kudos: it was on labor, the bee movie fic, time has come today, and r/supernatural. that's my taste. if you were curious.

[ninii-winchester]

Revived (Final)

Pairing : Dean Winchester X Reader

Word count : 1.3k

Warnings : mentions of medical aid, potential spoilers s9, mark of cain mentioned, fluff(?)

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

Dean's hand shook as he carried Y/n inside the motel room. Sam quickly fetched the medical kit and rushed to her side. Laying her down on one of the beds, Dean carefully teared apart the hole which was caused by the blade stab, giving Sam more room to stitch her thigh.

After her wound was closed and bandaged Dean helped her with a glass of water, encouraging her to take small sips. After the small cuts on her face were cleaned too, the room fell into a uncomfortable silence. Dean's gaze was hard as he stared at her, now that the anxiety rush of her being in danger passed, he's furious. The demon's word came crashing back into him. For a minute he could've let it go, given demons lie all the time. But Crowley's appearance had nailed down the last bit of uncertainty he had.

Y/n had actually sold her soul.

Sam paced the room, unable to wrap his head around the events of last few hours. This was supposed to be a normal hunt, no different from any other one they've ever been on, never in his entire life he could've expected this outcome of a supposed hunt.

Y/n's heart was beating rapidly, she could feel it against her ribcage, as if it would jump out of her mouth any second. She knew what she had done and she knew she'd have to deal with the consequences of her actions but it never occurred to her, that it would come hit her sooner than she has expected. The look on both brothers face told her that neither of them were pleased with her decision. She decided its time she bites the bullet and get this over with.

"Say it." She whispered lowly. None of the boys spoke for a whole minute before Sam spoke,

"Why'd you do it?" He questioned, "Rowena said she can bring him back."

"She told me she couldn't do it. She lied because I told her to." She replied avoiding eye contact with either brother. "She said it's not a hex or curse so cannot undo it, Dean died because he hit his head."

"You told me not to do it and you go ahead and do the exact same thing!" Sam exclaimed while Dean continued to watch them silently. When she didn't reply Sam shook his head slumping down on a chair. She took a deep breath before answering,

"You two have been dancing this dance for so long. I knew Dean would be pissed if he found out you sold your soul. I just wanted him back, is it so wrong?" She said her voice getting louder.

"And you think I wouldn't be pissed if it were you?" Dean finally spoke.

"It doesn't matter. I did what I wanted to. You're not the boss of me." She replied crossing her arms across her chest.

"I.." Dean pinched the bridge of his nose before he spoke again, "this isn't about being anyone's boss, how could you be so stupid?" He snapped stepping closer to her bed. Sam felt the tension rising in the room so he quietly slipped out of the room.

"Call me stupid, reckless or careless. Truth is I am selfish." She yelled, tears welling up in her eyes. Dean recoiled a bit at that. "I am selfish, I don't want to live in world where there is no Dean Winchester. I would do it over and over again if it means that you survive." Her voice turned low as she looked away, her lip quivering as she tried to keep herself from crying her wits out.

Dean hadn't expected her to express herself so openly, he knew the two of them confessed to being in love with each other but he never guessed the intensity of her love for him. He took a cautious step towards her and sat beside her on the bed.

"Hey, look at me." Dean spoke as softly as he could. "I understand your feelings but sacrificing your life for me isn't what I want from anyone, not you, not Sammy or anyone else." He cupped her cheek in his hand.

"Dean, I got fifteen years before the sacrifice comes into play. And I'm a hunter, who's to say I was going to live a long life. I'm happy to give my life as long as I get to spend it with you, or whatever's left of it."

"Hell ain't no field trip, sweetheart. I don't want you to go through all that pain."

"We'll think about it when we get there. One day at a time?"

Dean sighed knowing there's no way out it. He would never be able to convince her to undo it. For him, fifteen years is too less to spend with her, but it's enough for him to get here out this mess. And he swore on everything he loves, he will get her out of this mess.

Dean has never considered himself lucky, if anything he's always thought that fate was out there to get him. To fuck him up in more ways than one, but this time, he felt the cards were stacked in his favour.

Dean and Crowley went to see Cain, they decided to team up to take down Abbadon. Cain was nonchalant about the demons attacking them while Dean fought vigorously. Crowley dealt with some other demons and came to where Dean and Cain were.

"If you want I can give you the mark Dean," Cain spoke with urgency. "With the mark and the First Blade, you can take care of Abbadon."

Dean looked at Crowley, who seemed like he was ready to beg on his knees for him to do it. But Dean didn't want him to beg, his gaze turned demanding.

"Her soul." Was the only thing he said.

Cain looked back and forth between the Winchester and The king of Hell. Crowley rolled his eyes but brought up a piece of paper and burned it.

"Your girl's soul is her own now." Crowley spoke, not happy about giving it back but he had bigger problems at hand.

Cain raised a brow at Crowley's words and he added, "you're much more like me than I thought." He said remembering how he left all the Hell business behind for his Colette. Dean nodded towards Cain's mark and the man transferred the mark to Dean.

"Are you fucking insane?" Was the first thing Y/n yelled as soon as she saw the Mark on Dean's arm.

"Insanely in love with you, yes." He replied plopping on the chair, taking a swig of his beer.

"Not funny, Dean. What did you do!?" She exclaimed observing his arm.

"Wasn't trying to be funny, sweetheart. Crowley had your soul and he gave it back in exchange of me ganking that Abbadon bitch." Dean said nonchalantly and it angered her to no end.

"You're talking as if you just bought groceries Dean, what the hell is wrong with you? That Mark is evil, it'll turn you into a monster." Dean stood up from his chair and walked over to her.

"I have you to keep me grounded. And I'd rather be a monster than let you go to hell. This discussion is over." He pecked her lips before walking away.

That discussion was far from over but Dean made sure it was never brought up ever again. It was hard time for Y/n when Dean became a demon. It took Y/n and Sam a lot of blood, sweat and tears to bring him back but they did it.

“Can we please promise no more bargains with demons?” Y/n sighed into Dean’s chest as he held her tightly in his embrace.

“It’s a deal.” She looked at him with an incredulous look and he winked at her. She sighed dropping her forehead on his chest. He’s a cheeky bastard but he’s her cheeky bastard. And she wouldn’t trade him for the world.

Tags:

@galway-girlatwork

[charcubed]

Listen, I normally don’t condone when people are like “you’re not going to Get It unless you watch the show” because it tends to be a gatekeeping method, but… I really need people to understand that they’re not going to grasp how meta The Winchesters is as the Dean hall of mirrors show unless they watch it lmao.

The s1 finale has gotten a lot of attention for obvious reasons and there’s a lot to pay attention to in there, but it’s also heavily informed by the extremely thematically unsubtle 12 episodes that precede it. The show is like… an Experience to a batshit degree lol. Its existence is literally dedicated to comprehensively unpacking and condemning the SPN finale as bad. Dean speaks directly to you and tells you why his “ending” sucked and shows you what he wants and deserves for his future. It’s not Dean’s story, but also it IS Dean’s story because he’s telling it.

And I mean, if you need more convincing: it’s also fun as hell with found family right out of the gate, and they made 3 out of the core 4 characters bisexual (I am not joking), and pretty much every episode there’s some kind of emotional healing or catharsis, and the music fucks, and there’s actual consistency from episode to episode in remembering or naming minor characters and specific details from prior plots. Which is all extremely cool in my opinion!

If you decide to watch the show, here’s my advice for the things to keep in mind that will help you effortlessly clock its layers:

1. Every main character takes a turn on the spinning wheel of Dean mirrors in the storylines depending on the episode. There is no rule like “Mary is always the Dean mirror.” Sometimes Mary is the Cas mirror when John is a Dean mirror, for example. And I do mean every character, not just the core 4! It’s incessant. You will get used to this.

2. Our beloved narrator is canonically bisexual. Knowing this fact is a prerequisite to understanding a couple of the queer stories. Once again: I am not joking.

3. Think about Destiel. Yeah 15x18 but also Purgatory, Mark of Cain, widower arc…

4. Think about Dean’s relationship with his parents.

5. And think about how Dean himself is a parent, and his relationship with Jack.

6. And, of course, think about Chuck. (This will not take much effort. Multiple antagonists are gods. Yes, really.)

It is very loud and very consistent. Come for all of the above; stay for how you will fall in love with the characters!

I simply think you will have a good time :) and then you will truly be able to Comprehend and go recreationally insane :)

[queen-of-deans-booty]

The Aftershock

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~1.7k

Warnings: minor angst

Summary: The after-effects of taking the Mark creep in slowly and you’re not sure if taking it on was the best thing for you. Dean once had it so you go to him in hopes he might have tips on how to manage the anger you know you’ll experience.

Past, Present, and Future Masterlist

Square Filled: "Did you forget who you're talking to?" (crossover bingo) for @fandombingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

“What, in your head, told you that taking on something like the Mark of Cain was a good idea? Do you realize what could happen?”

“I know, Stephen, but Dean and Sam needed me. What was I supposed to do? Let them suffer?”

“No, you were supposed to use rational thought.”

“What do you want me to do now? You have magic. Take it off me.”

“It’s not that simple.” Stephen turns and curses under his breath. “Let me figure this out. This is exactly why I didn’t want you going off on your own.”

“I’m not a child, Stephen,” you glare.

“Your action proves otherwise.”

Stephen told you to stay close but there is one place you want to be at, and it’s nowhere near New York. He’s a smart man. He’ll find a way to get you out of this before something bad happens. The Mark is starting to mess with your head so you go to the one person who might understand how to make you feel better.

You don’t knock and sneak inside the same way you did when you first entered the Bunker. There is noise coming from the kitchen where Dean is, and his back is turned to you as he does the dishes. He doesn’t notice you standing there until he turns to grab two dirty dishes off the kitchen island.

“Shit!” he jumps. “What are you doing here? You scared me.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumble and scratch your arm absentmindedly.

“Are you okay? Are we okay? Tell me we didn’t do anything bad.”

“No, everything is okay, still. How is Sam doing?”

“Okay. He doesn’t remember much from his time as a demon albeit it short. He thinks it’s from the stress. I don’t know.”

“That’s good,” you nod, distracted.

“Is everything okay?”

“I need you to be honest with me.” He doesn’t say anything but patiently waits for you to continue. “How was life with the Mark?”

“Honestly? A nightmare. I was angry all the time. I was lashing out at people, and I had the urge to kill anything in sight. The Mark is a curse. It wants you to feed it with power. It never stopped… itching.” Dean looks at your hand scratching the arm your mark is on. “Kind of like what you’re doing now.”

“I feel bad for what I did to you and Sam which is why I took this mark. Now… I’m trying really hard not to let it affect my powers.”

Dean dries his hands and leaves the remaining dirty dishes in the sink before grabbing your hand.

“Come on. I have something that might help you with that.” He takes you down to the shooting range where everything is stocked and ready to use. “Have you ever shot a gun?”

“I have a powerful infinity stone on my wrist. Does it look like I need to shoot a gun?”

“Don’t be rude,” he says. “It’s always a good skill to have and right now, you’re going to learn.”

Dean grabs one of the smaller guns and stands behind you. You’re about to turn to face him when he puts one of his warm hands on your waist. Something blossoms in your stomach like tiny little glitters floating around. He pulls you into his wait and those glitters explode into butterflies. What is this feeling? Why do I like it so much?

Dean wraps his arms around your body and puts the gun in your hands with his on top of yours. He positions you where he needs you and removes his hands from your own but keeps them on your body.

“Focus on the target ahead of you. Aim and follow through. When you’re ready, pull the trigger.”

You aim the gun at your target and much like what you do with your powers, you focus on your target alone. You pull the trigger and shoot the target right between the eyes.

“You’re a natural,” he grins.

He runs his hands down your arms to your waist and settles on your hips. Your breathing picks up slightly and it’s not from the anxiety you feel. You hate this—not Dean this—the Mark this. You were always calm and collected, and you never lost your cool because you knew you were so much higher than mere humans. Call that arrogance but you never had a reason to feel things like anxiety, anger, and lust.

Just another thing this damn mark did you.

You turn in Dean’s arms so you’re less than a foot away from his face. He glances down at your lips before looking into your eyes.

“I don’t think this will work. Do you have something else to try?”

“Yeah, follow me.”

He pauses for two seconds before moving away from you. You see the hesitation in his eyes and you’re not sure if it’s hesitation for you or what you two are about to do next.

He takes you upstairs to the library where his precious mini bar is. After six months in the Bunker, he bought a mini bar on wheels where he keeps his good alcohol. He rolls the bar over to one of the tables and sits down before putting his feet up. You sit across from him and he leisurely pours you two a drink.

“I read alcohol isn’t the best when you have bottled up emotions on the internet.”

“Don’t listen to everything you read online.” He slides you a half-poured whiskey drink without ice. “Sip, don’t chug.” You grab the glass and take a small sip not expecting it to taste like shit. “Yeah, it’s an acquired taste.”

“Oh, God,” you cough.

“Never had alcohol before, huh?”

“I may have been born before time but I’m fairly young. Stephen only made me a person a few years ago.” Dean takes a big sip of his drink and sighs. “So, the Mark was a nightmare?”

“For me, yeah, but you’re not human. You’ll have a different experience than me. If anyone can do it and still stay good, it’s you.”

“You don’t know me.”

“No, I don’t, but we never had powers that are older than time.”

You take another sip of your drink and scrunch your face up in disgust.

“I’m scared I’m going to hurt people. It was my choice to take but I shouldn’t have done what I did to you and Sam. Before coming to your world, all I saw was a solution to your problem. Put God and Amara away. I did that. I just didn’t think of the consequence it would leave behind.”

“You’ll fight this, Y/N, better than I ever did.”

You tap your fingers on the table rapidly because of your anxiety.

“Do you ever feel like you want to do the right thing and when you do it, it feels like the most wrong thing ever?”

 “Did you forget who you’re talking to?” Dean chuckles. “I didn’t want Sam going through what I went through.”

“I get it,” you nod.

“You are not Sam or me. You’re not going to go through it the same way.”

“I hope not,” you smile sadly. “No offense but this alcohol is making me depressed. Got anything else?”

Dean just smirks. He doesn’t tell you where you’re going, only that you’re going to love it. He takes you to a run-down building in an empty shopping area. It’s nearly closing time but he must have asked the wiener to stay open later just for him.

“Dean, what is this place?”

“A place to channel the rage.” 

After checking in with the owner, he takes you to the back room which is covered with graffiti, spray paint, and broken items everywhere. Dean grabs two baseball bats from the back and tosses one to you.

“What do I do now?”

“Be like the Hulk. Smash absolutely everything.”

Dean takes the first swing at a broken TV and you jump back from the sound. It takes you two seconds before you're swinging your own bat around. Dean jumps back so he doesn’t get hit but he watches you smash things with a smile on his face. You slam the bat into a ceramic vase, and it shatters into a million little pieces.

This is actually kind of fun.

“Check this out!”

You aim your hand at the TV Dean hit and blast it with your powers. You leave a gaping hole in the middle of the TV, and Dean looks at you with a nervous chuckle.

“Why don’t we stick to the bats? I don’t think they’ll appreciate you blowing this place up.”

“Oops,” you giggle.

You and Dean take the entire hour just smashing everything to pieces until there is nothing left to break. You two leave the place with big smiles on your faces despite you still feeling the nagging sensation of the Mark. What Dean did for you helped but now that it’s over, the darkness creeps in slowly.

Dean looks over and sees the look on your face. It’s a look he knows all too well. He opens the passenger door for you but doesn’t let you in the car yet.

“You know what else helps?”

“What?”

“A nice long drive with the windows down. There’s nothing like the open road, rock music, and the wind in your hair.”

“Okay, lead the way, Winchester,” you grin.

You two pile into the car and Dean takes off toward the back roads. The drive back to the Bunker only takes twenty minutes to get from the rage room but the back roads make the journey stretch to nearly an hour. Dean puts on soft rock and allows that to be the only thing to comfort you two in the car.

The windows are down and your hair is blowing gently, and a wave of calmness washes over you. You don’t think it’s the drive or the music but Dean. Being in Dean’s company is the one thing that’s working for you. You look at him to see him with a smile on his face and singing along to the music. He barely looks at you and does a doubletake when he sees you looking at him.

“What?”

���Nothing. I just… I think I’m going to be okay.”

Dean reaches over and grabs your hand.

“Yeah, I think you will, too.”

x

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[cheynovak]

Crush part 4  

Dean Winchester x Reader (Y/N) & Sam Winchester (Platonic)  

Warnings: Fluff, sexual tension, implied smut, alcohol, trauma, aggression,  

Side note: English isn’t my first language, please don’t mind little mistakes.  

Words: 4800 

*Does not follow the SPN storyline! *  

--------------------------------- 

Recap part 3: Y/N is a high school crush/friend of Sam, when they were 16 y/o they attended the same school for a while. But she always liked Dean. Years later despite the trauma and difficult life, they chose to be with each other. Dean tries hard not to take Y/N on hunts but sometimes they have no choice. 

Now years later, Dean has the mark of Cain and Y/N is determent to help Sam and Dean. They been through a lot, how will they cope with this challenge? 

--------------------------------- 

“You idiot!” Y/N screamed through the halls of the bunker. “You, you, ... do you ever think, Dean! Just for one second?” - “I take Dean told Y/N about the mark?” Castiel asked Sam who sat in the kitchen while he heard the couple fight. “Yeah, just now.”  

“It’s the only way to kill Abaddon! And you know it!” Dean matched her tone. “I don’t care about Abaddon, not if it hurt you!” - “It won’t!” - “Oh yes of course like nothing ever does right? I can’t believe you!”  

“Y/N don’t be like that! Everything is fine.” - “You call black outs after killing people fine? Sneaking out to hunt alone so you can kill fine? Who are you? Because I sure as hell don’t recognise you anymore!” She turned her back and walked to the kitchen, clearly surprised to see the angel and Sam. Both looking awkward for witnessing their fight.  

“I’m going to kill Crowley.” - “Sweetheart...” He followed her close. “Don’t!” She turned back at him pointing a finger in his face. “How many times do I need to get worried about you? How many times do I need to see you die. Hell, see all of you die?” She waved her arms around. “Why on earth did you trust Crowley. He knew about Cain, he isn’t stupid!”  

“Y/N” Sam started in a soft voice. “This isn’t ideal, but we’ll get through it. I don’t like it, just like you but what choice do we have?” - “How about let someone else deal with this for once?” - “Who do you trust with this?” Dean added. “I don’t care Dean, one of these days you’ll die, for real.” - “Then I’ll go down swinging.” He said like it was nothing. “Oh, good for you, but I’ll be the one to burry you!”  

Y/N stormed out of the kitchen, grabbed her keys and went for a drive in the middle of the night. Deep inside she knew Dean was right, but why did it had to be him, she was so afraid to lose him. After all they had been through so much, the fear became more and more real.  

Dean sat down at the kitchen table. “You weren’t able to keep it from her any longer.” Cas said. “I know, I know she is just worried. But she knows this is our life.” - “It used to be much easier, ghost, vampires, but this, this really scares her.” Sam said looking at his brother’s arm. “Plus, she noticed you being... different.”  

“I know. I pushed her away. I’m sure she noticed a difference in my behaviour. It’s not like it's been easy lately.” Dean spoke like he meant hunting, but he knew they had some trouble in their relationship too. It’s not that he didn’t want to work on it, it’s just that the world was now a priority, he knew she would understand.  

Y/N arrived back home late that night, she saw Dean already sleeping in bed. She took a deep breath before crawling next to him. Nose to nose she looked at him. “Baby?” He mumbled. “Hm?” -”Please don’t be mad.” He opened one eye slightly “I’m not. I’m concerned.” She gave him a small peck between his brows, before turning around to face the other side of the room.  

Dean felt her being distant lately. No more cuddling in bed, no more morning make out sessions, if he was honest almost no intimacy at all. He knew it was his fault, since he had the mark these few weeks, he didn’t feel like it anymore. Which for him was weird. No matter how tired, she could always seduce him, but not anymore.  

He knew it made her insecure, but he was too ashamed to talk about it. He thought it would be easier to handle it once the world wasn’t burning anymore. She didn’t push him in to talking about it. But he noticed her being more edgy, easier annoyed, less happy.  

The next morning, he woke up noticing she was already up. When he opened the bedroom door, he heard music coming from the kitchen. When he walked in, he saw Y/N swaying to the music... laughing while she made breakfast with his brother. And again, when they were in a bad place, Sam could make her smile. How does he do that Dean wondered.  

“Good...morning.” Dean said with a little hesitation. “Goodmorning baby” She smiled softly but stopped dancing while turning the music down. Y/N place a plate with pancakes in front of Dean. “Eat up, before it gets cold.” She said before kissing his shoulder and walking out of the kitchen. His eyes followed her before turning back to Sam, who smiled softly.  

“Did she, talked to you lately?” He asked his younger brother. “Well, we talk all the time, a little more specific?” - “About... us?” Sam’s raised one brow. He saw how serious he was in his eyes. “Look it’s not my place to say, but she is afraid, afraid to lose you, again. But also, afraid to lose you.” 

Dean looked confused. “She thinks that you are bored of her or something. That you two are still together out of habit or mutual respect. Basically, that you don’t love her anymore.”  - “What? That’s ridiculous.” - “I told her that. But she isn’t so sure about your feelings for her anymore.”  

After breakfast Dean was determined to talk to Y/N, but unfortunately Crowley came back with information on Abaddon and the boys had to move out really quick. Y/N took a deep breath, “Remember me to kill him after you come back.” She said to Dean while looking at the demon. “I heard that.” - “Good.”  

Dean smiled. “So that means you still want me when I get back?” She kissed his lips. “I’ll always want you Dean Winchester, no matter how complicated things are.” One side of his lips curled slightly. “Just get back in one piece.” His hand moved to the back of her neck. “I promise.” he whispered before kissing her back.  

----  

The indeed got back, but the need to kill became more and more difficult for Dean to handle. He tried so hard to restrain it, knowing Y/N would be worried, but the tension between them didn’t get better.  

Next thing they know, they had to face Metatron again. In search of the tabled. But Dean felt he had a shot on killing the messenger of God. When Y/N came back from groceries shopping the bunker was empty. They headed out without telling her what was going on, part from one little text she got from Sam. Found Metatron, going after him. Don’t worry, I got him. Sam meant he was watching his brother. One thing she learned about the Winchesters, they have each other's back, but will also die for each other as long as the other gets to live.  

Sam saw Dean get stabbed by the angel blade, rushing to his brother in despair, while Metatron smiled. Sam tried to fight the angel, but he vanished. He held his brother in tears in his arms, not knowing what to do. He knew he needed to bring him home. And face Y/N.  

-- 

Y/N heard the door of the bunker open. She walked to the stairs smiling, only to see Sam carrying the lifeless body of Dean. Her smile vanished, her hand covered her mouth, eyes starting to tear. She came running towards Sam. “No, no, no, NO. Dean... baby?” - “I’m sorry.” Was all Sam repeatedly cried when she held his face in her hands.  

Sam placed his brother on their bed. Y/N sat beside him, cleaned the blood of his face and hands. “Come on baby, wake up.” She whispered under her breath, she had no idea how long she sat beside him before she got up and walked back to Sam. Could have been 5 minutes or 5 hours.  

Without saying a word, she took the bottle in front of him and poured herself a glass. “Y/N, I...” - “I don’t want to hear it Sam, you find a way to bring him back. I don’t care what we need to do. Who I need to sell my soul to, YOU bring him BACK.” Tears rolled down her cheeks when she walked away with the glass in her hand.  

Sam was trying to summon Crowley little did they know he was already visiting, knowing what would happen to Dean next.  

-- 

Sammy, let me go.  

--  

“That’s all?” Y/N teared up looking at the note Dean left. He didn’t even think of her? After all these years. Sam noticed her struggle. “I’m not giving up Y/N, if Dean is a demon, I will find a way to bring him back.” She nodded before she felt his arms pulling her into a hug.  

“I’m sure he thought of you too. Probably to fixated on leaving.” - “Or I don’t care enough.” He felt her tears on his shirt. “No, he needs you as much as you need him.”  

 “You’re not going alone Sam, I’m not letting you out of my sight.” Y/N stood arms crossed on the stairs. Weeks have been passed and Sam left her with the research while going solo on trips. Only this time he came back with a dislocated shoulder.  

She saw the hesitation in his eyes. “I know I’m no hunter, not like you guys, but I’ve been living this life just like you over the past few years.” She sighs “This is my fight too.”  

“Ok, let’s find them.” He said while turning her on the stairs. Every alert possible was installed on their phones. They searched for every crossroad demon, trying to find intel. Sam became more and more reckless, Y/N could see the disperse growing inside him.  

One night she and Sam sat down at a local diner “Dean is clearly keeping a low profile. So, do me a favour, try to enjoy the food.” Y/N looked at her phone. “Sam... Wait a minute. This may be a long shot but that bar...” She pointed at the map on her phone. “Dean used to tell me about it. Something with great beers and music?”  

Little did they know Dean tried to life the best life ever. Crowley tried to use him for his own personal amusements, of course. “You know Dean, those two are closing up on us. We might want to leave soon.”  

“You know Crowley, for a demon you do really care a lot.” He waved at the bartender asking for another shot and a cocktail with an umbrella for the ‘lady’ next to him. While he smiled at Crowley.  

“Listening to you singing the same 3 songs on karaoke has been a blast, watching you sticking your tongue down the throat of hottest chicks, I don’t care. You do you. But I really don’t want to get murdered by your brother and ex-girlfriend.”  

Y/N and Sam’s car broke down just a few miles away from the bar. A nice man stopped his car and asked if they could use some help, pretends to inspect the engine, He reveals that the reason the car stopped is because of a "killswitch" that he himself is able to operate via remote.  

Before Sam can pull out his gun from behind his back, He knocks him out cold. Y/N tried to get the gun out of the glovebox but the gun against her head made her lift her hands. “My issue isn’t with you sweetheart. Turn around and keep walking away from the car.”  

Sam wakes up to find himself strapped to a chair, Cole, the man, explains that he is using Sam as a bargaining chip to lure Dean and kill him. Sam warns Cole that Dean is now a monster, but Cole naively rebuffs saying that he knows he is a monster and that now Dean is the prey.  

Cole calls Dean and demands a trade, but Dean is apathetic towards his brother's capture, as he warned Sam not to come looking for him. “Listen Sammy, I told you to let me go. You are just too stubborn.” - “Well, Sam, it looks like a should have taken your girlfriend with us. Since your brother isn’t going to be of much help.”  

Dean’s voice changed a on the phone. “You brought Y/N?!” Sam knew he was pissed. You left her, what was I supposed to do? He thought. “Oh-oh, trouble in paradise.” Cole added. “Listen, Cole, was it? Do whatever you want. But if our paths cross, you’re dead.” Dean said with a calm voice before he hung up the phone.  

Y/N walked to the nearest motel, which took her almost an entire night. Luckly, she had some money in her phones case hidden. The clerk gave her a set of keys. Y/N was glad she could take at least a shower and a few hours of sleep before creating a plan of finding Sam.  

But when she lied down in bed and closed her eyes, she could hear her neighbours, or at least the girl. Realising they weren’t planning on getting sleep anytime soon. “Great, cheap motel walls.” She said under her breath. She walked back to the bathroom finding something to stuff her ears with.  

By morning she woke up by the sound of what she thought would be Crowley. “Seriously on my bed?” Y/N almost flew out of bed and opened the door only to bump into the blonde girl who she heard last night. “I’m sorry.” Y/N said but got nothing but a dirty look.  

Then she saw Crowley's head pop out of the room next door. “Oh no.” Y/N held her foot between the door he just wanted to close. “CROWLEY!” She burst through, seeing Dean in the bed. The world underneath her feet crumbled. “D-Dean?”  

“What are you doing here Y/N?” Was all his stone-cold voice said. “I-I came with Sam to find you, but he...” - “Yeah kidnapped, Cole, wants me.” - “And you let him have your brother?” - “Well, I was a little busy.” He said while going with his hands over his bed hair. “Yeah, I heard.” - “Kinky, if I knew you where next door would’ve asked you to join.” He grinned.  

She looked over at Crowley, who to her surprise looked apologetic maybe even with a little sympathy for her. “Where you going?” Dean asked when she finally felt her feet again and turned. “I need to find Sam.” - “So, you went to all this trouble to find me, now that you have, you walk away?” Dean got up.  

“Well, you’re clearly not trying to save your brother, and...” She thought hard about her next words. You cheated, you left me, you hurt me, you’re not you anymore, I can’t look at you. “I guess we all have moved on since you left us, I care for him more than ever. I need him to be safe.”  

She looked back at Crowley. “I know, you’ll kill me when you see me again.” She nodded before closing the door. “Well, that was awkward.” Crowley turned to Dean. Seeing a little fraction of human emotion in Deans eyes. She hurts him in a place he didn’t knew he still felt. 

Y/N decided to walk back to the car, but halfway there a car stopped in front of her. “Y/N?” - “Oh god, SAM!” She ran straight to him, her arms wrapped around his waist. “I’m glad I found you, I was so worried.” - “You were worried? Sam, you were kidnapped.” - “And my best friend was out there alone.”  

Thanks to the intel from Y/N her previous encounter with Dean, Sam found his brother quickly. The ride home however wasn’t very pleasant. “So, Sammy. I heard you and Y/N spent quite some time together lately. Tell me, did the high school butterflies came back? Have you been wooing her? Maybe even shared a little kiss?” - “SHUT UP DEAN!” They shouted at the same time. 

When they locked Dean in the dungeon, he looked at her standing at the door, while Sam checked the traps and the spell work around him. Y/N broke the eye contact she had with Dean when Sam walked towards her. She placed a hand on his shoulder. “He won’t go anywhere.” He said holding his hand over hers.  

Dean rolled his eyes. 

The next day Sam started to inject Dean with the purified blood. Y/N could hear him scream, she had promised Sam not to go down there. “Does it hurt him?” She asked with a tremble in her voice. Sam sighs, “I’m not sure if it’s real or he just fakes it to stop me.”  

“Maybe I should face him? See if it works.” - “No, I don’t want you to see him like this. The things he says... It’s horrible.” She nodded but decided to take a peek the next time anyway. “You know Sammy, I would never think you would go for my leftovers.” Sam did his best to ignore his brother.  

“I mean, I had always known she is your type. Hell, you would whine about her day and night, how she was the one for you. I should have known you would take her when you saw an opening.” - “Dean, you left, you fucked around, literally. But you expect me to wait for you to come home?” Y/N walked towards the circle.  

Seeing Y/N made it hard on Dean to act like he still didn’t feel the blood working. “You haven’t touched me in ages, but I have to act like a nun while you play the pornstar is that it?” He didn’t answer. God she wanted to slap that smug face of his.  

“Y/N? Why are you here?” Sam asked in his caring voice. “I wanted to say I need some fresh air.” She placed her hand on his shoulder before she stood on her toes to kiss his cheek, I’ll be right back. Sam understood the assignment, this was the perfect way of seeing if Dean still cared.  

She walked back but right before she turned through the door Sam called her. He grabbed her hand, but she backs up against the wall just outside the door, in the hall. “Trust me” She mouthed. “I’m going to be fine Sam.” said quietly, while looking at his lips. “I know, I just...” Sam matched her voice before closed the space between their lips.  

Dean sat in the chair not seeing them, but he could clearly hear them. When Sam didn’t complete his answer, it hit him. “Really guys!” No answer, “Find yourself a room!” Dean heard nothing but a deep breath coming from his brother.  

“Be safe ok?” He said before kissing the top of her head.  

By the time Y/N got back, Sam was eating pizza, “bought your favourite.” He said while looking at her, he placed his finger of his mouth, telling her he could still hear them. She took a seat on the table next to Sam’s plate. “You think he can hear us?” Sam nodded.  

Y/N took out her phone “Did it work?” the texted him, “I don’t know.” Sam answered honestly.  He hung back in his chair. “I’m not sure about any of these treatments.” - “We’ll figure this out, together.” She pinched his shoulder before grabbing a plate from the kitchen.  

That night Y/N had a really vivid dream, for some reasons their experiments on Dean turned against them. His body shuts down, both she and Sam ran towards him but when they undid the trap and untied him from the chair, but then he hit Sam knock out on the floor before he choked the life out of her.  

By the time she woke up screaming Sam ran through the door. “Hey, hey you’re ok.” He hushed her, holding her in his arms. “I’m here, it was just a dream. Shh, I got you.” Y/N couldn’t hold back, in full panic she bursts into tears. “Oh, Sam it was awful!” - “It was just a dream Y/N.”  

Sam comforts her for a few hours before she heard his breath getting heavy. She looked up, seeing her best friend had fallen asleep while holding her. She tried to get out of his grip, but when she moved, he woke up. “What’s going on?” He asked sleepy. “Lay down, it’s more comfortably.” she whispered.  

Since he was still half asleep, she could push him against her pillow. Throwing an extra blanked over him. Way to short but it was the idea that counted. She placed her head back against Dean’s pillow. She could still smell his aftershave on it. Not long after they both fell asleep.  

Y/N woke up by the movement of her bed. She noticed how Sam got up, “Hey.” she said, her voice still sounding sleepy. “Morning. I’m going to check on Dean. Try to sleep some more.” His lips curled into a smile. 

She didn’t sleep anymore, she just thought how lucky she was she had Sam in this situation. No idea how he could keep his cool every time he had to go take care of Dean. Lucky how he didn’t make this into an awkward situation, just a friend helping another friend.  

“Y/N!” She heard Sam yell. “Yeah?” she got up and ran towards Sam, who met her halfway. “He is gone.” - “What? How?” - “I don’t know but he got out.” They both ran towards the control room where Dean stood waiting for them. Sam pushed Y/N behind him when he saw his brother. “You know seeing you two all cosy and cuddly in my bed made me realise something.”  

Dean’s eyes turned black. “I should have left you to rot with those vampires when I had the chance.” - “Y/N run, RUN.” Sam pushed her away. “Oh Sammy, do you really think you two are going to have a happy ending?” - “It’s nothing like that.” He tried to distract his brother so she could find a place to hide.  

“What? This isn’t like the last time? What was it you said again, Oh yeah: I don’t think about her like that.” Dean walked slowly closer to Sam, “I don’t care that you fucked her, each have our needs Sammy, no hard feelings.” Sam frowned at his brother. “Did she do that thing with her tongue? Feels good doesn't it.” He grinned, standing toe to toe with him now. “What?”  

Before Sam could say anything more, Dean had pushed him aside. When Sam got up, he immediately locket the bunker. Turning the lighting red. Dean broke a few doors trying to find Y/N again. Little did he know Y/N had been praying to Castiel. Who thankfully appeared and helped both her and Sam.  

--  

A little while later they managed to bring Dean back.  

He stood in the bathroom, hanging on the sink while looking at his reflection. He said he needed a shower to ‘clean up’ but really, he didn’t want to be around Y/N. He felt ashamed of what he did. The bathroom door opened, he saw her walking towards him, Dean quickly looked back in front of him.  

Y/N walked behind him. “How are you feeling?” She asked. “Good.” Was all he said.  She couldn’t hold back, she wrapped her arms around his torso. Placing her cheek between his shoulders, taking a deep breath, his warm and reliable smell filled her nose. “I missed you.” She admitted before giving him the space she knows he needed.  

“Y/N?” she turned back to him, “Where do you want me to sleep?” Y/N frowned her brows, “In our bed?” - “Are you sure.” - “Dean, I know we need to talk about... everything.” she took a deep breath, “I just hoped we could work this out.” - “Wait you... you still want me?” She smiled soft. “Just get to bed, we’ll talk then.” 

Dean felt nervous, not knowing how this conversation will go. He walked in the room noticing Y/N wasn’t there yet. “Hey, got us a beer.” She handed it to him while she got on bed sitting with her legs crossed. “Why are you so nice?” He blurred out. “I’m done fighting Dean.” He felt his chest getting heavy.  

After a silence Y/N spoke, “I think the most important question is. Do you still want this, us?” She looked at the beer bottle in her hand. “Me?” Dean now took a seat on the bed facing her. “I want nothing more. But I messed up, so if you don’t want to... I’d understand.”  

“I told you before I will always want you, but things need to be different from now on.” He listened to her. “I want you to talk to me before you make choices that affects us all. You talk to Sam or Cas about hunting but forget about me. I’m as much part of your life as them Dean.” He saw the tears shine in her eyes again.  

“All I wanted was to keep you safe, sweetheart.” She nodded rapidly, “I know, I really do, but you can’t. A few hours ago, you chased me through these halls, trying to kill me.” Hearing those words coming out of her mouth made Dean emotional.  

“And I don’t even care about what you did when you were a demon. You were not you, I know that, but you need to give me time to get over, seeing you, hearing her, realising that you...” A tear fell down his cheek. “I’m so, so sorry baby. I wish I could take it back. Undo a lot.”  

After a heart to heart, they agreed on telling each other everything. Talk more and give time to heal. She got up and softly kissed Dean’s lips. “My turn to shower.” She smiled wiping away the last few tears.  

Dean made himself comfortable in the bed waiting for her to come back. He heard Sam talking to her outside their room. “Are you guys ok? - “We will be, thanks Sam.” Y/N got inside noticed Dean waiting for her.  

She crawled in bed on her side, only to move closer to Dean, he lifted his arm around her while her cheek snuggled against his chest. Dean kissed her hair, scared of the question he was about to ask. “Sweetheart, I got to ask. You and Sam?”  

“You believed that?” - “I heard you kiss. Saw you in this bed.” - “I wanted to see if you were affected by that, see if we could bring a part of your humanity to the horizon. And he fell asleep in this bed when I had a nightmare.” Y/N lifted herself up a little. “Sam and I, we’re still just friends, part from one staged kiss, nothing happened.”  

She cupped his cheek, “Why do you keep worrying?” - “I left you, you saw me with another girl, but even before that we didn’t make love anymore.” Y/N sighs, I know. Her hand moved over his arm, “Was it just the mark?” - “I felt scared to be close to you. Scared I would black out and hurt you.”  

Y/N moved again, holding his face now in both hands, while her legs straddled him. “Baby, look at me. Mark or no mark, demon or not, you will never, ever physically hurt me. You could have, but you let Sam stall you.” She let her forehead touch his. “I trust you Dean.”  

His hands moved to her back, holding her while her lips found his. Unconsciously she grinded against his hips. In despair, needing to feel him. His lips travelled down to her neck. “Besides, who says I don’t like it a little rougher.” She breathed out, earning a soft moan coming from Dean’s lips.  

Turning her over to her back. Hovering over her.  

“Damn sweetheart. I missed you.”  

-----

If you liked this story check out my masterlist.

[daughterofcain-67]

𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖘𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝕭𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖉 (𝔭𝔱.1)

(Dean Winchester x Female Reader)

(masterlist)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: The wretched mark that Cain had passed on to Dean was taking an affect on the elder Winchester. Sam had been worried about the changes in his brother's character. Abaddon had already been killed, Dean was insistent on keeping the First Blade to use on Metatron. But Sam was more concerned with how to get the mark off his brother sooner rather than later. But who would know where to even begin?

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Spoilers in the plots of seasons nine and ten. Mentions of blood, gore, SPN violence, mentions of genetic experimentation.

The look on Dean's face was all that Sam could remember when he held the First Blade for the first time. And ever since that moment he's noticed how much easier it was becoming for Dean to kill without any second thought.

Then there was the excuse Dean gave every time he wanted to bring that stupid blade along on almost every hunting trip they went on. Even when they truly didn't need it. It was like an addiction and there were times that Sam just wished he had given the blade to Crowley without Dean knowing.

But what really set Sam on the idea of taking the mark off his older brother, was the moment Dean finally killed Abaddon. The mark was powerful on Dean and after the lights went out of Abaddon's eyes, you would think it would be over, right? But Sam remembered how cold Dean had become before he straddled the body and stabbed repeatedly. The overkill was unnecessary and Sam couldn't forget the blood that covered his brother's face, while Dean didn't seem to want to stop.

Sam hated what his brother was becoming, and he hated that Dean was trying his best to justify when he kills. That he claims to be "nothing like Cain" in the sense of being a ruthless murderer. But in Sam's eyes, and in the eyes of their friends, Dean was changing and he was no longer the man he once was.

The only thing that Sam wanted outside of killing Metatron, was for his brother back.

Which then brings us to Dean.

He wished his kid brother would keep his nose out of where it didn't belong. Sam had no idea what he was going through, how could he? He had the power to beat Metatron now. And he could bet that he was able to beat practically anyone effortlessly if it came down to it. They could finally save the world for good.

He looked down at his arm and gazed at the mark, gifted to him by the father of murder himself. He knew he wasn't like Cain. When he killed, he had a reason. that reason was to kill all those evil sons of bitches that got in his way.

Although the constant burning from the mark, the constant urge to kill, he couldn't help but wonder that with his brother's nagging actually had some kind of truth. He didn't understand what the hell was happening to him, but he knew that right now it didn't matter what was happening. They had a task at hand.

So now, Dean had yet another meeting with Crowley since Sam was having a meeting with Cass to see if he was having any luck with the factions to beat the former Scribe of God. And that's exactly where he was.

Dean sat down in a booth of a bar, leaned up against the back of the chair, with a glass of whisky on the rocks. The King of Hell was sitting across from him with some fancy kind of drink with one of those tiny ass umbrellas.

Honestly, Dean didn't really know why he was still bothering to see Crowley. He wasn't even sure if he would even get the answers he needed from the demon but he knew he needed to at least try something. He didn't really find much of anything in the books in the Bunker's library.

So a visit with the King of Hell was the next best thing, even if the bastard was on his kill list after Metatron.

"I take it the angel hasn't had any luck finding that winged wretch, huh?" He asked, his accent thick and Dean rolled his eyes a little.

"Small talk? Really? Isn't that beneath you?" The hunter asked, a little impatient.

"Woah now, Squirrel. Just trying to have a bit of conversation. Didn't think that was so wrong especially after you bloody Winchesters kept me locked up for so long. You should be glad that I'm talkative and even willing to see you now." Crowley pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just cut to the chase, alright? I don't even like being around you as it is." Dean continued, the demon placed a hand over where his heart would have been and feigned offense.

"So why have we arranged to meet?" Crowley asked, "I've already got what I want. Abaddon's gone and I'm the ruler of Hell again and I'm busy trying to get my kingdom back on track."

“I’m not gonna ask you to track down Metatron. I just want to know what the hell this mark is doing to me. I get enough of Sam bitching at me about how this thing is supposedly changing me. And I-“

“Let me guess, you want it to be nothing that way you can tell Moose you’re perfectly fine so he can get off your back. Am I correct?” The Winchester rolled his eyes a little but he couldn't exactly say the demon was wrong.

"So what's the deal with the damned thing?" He asked while Crowley took the cherry off his fancy little drink and ate it.

"Squirrel, I'd hate to tell ya, but I don't know what's going on with the bloody thing. Not a lot of people know how it affected Cain himself other than it of course gave him some sort of power, a thirst to kill. No one truly knows how it will effect the mind of the wielder." Crowley answered.

Dean didn't really know how much of what he was saying is true or if there was any more to this mark that the demon was holding back. But he didn't have the leverage to make him tell more.

"Well, if that was all you wished to know, I'd say that was a waste of chatting on. I'm surprised Sam isn't with you. Or are you still having marital problems?"

Dean's jaw tensed a bit. Things were always up and down between them and it didn't get much better after he got Cain's mark. There were times he liked to think they would still be there for each other, and he knew Sam was trying to look out for him. But it was just getting on his nerves.

"Other than this stupid mark he's wary of? Things are fine. Just focused on the job. The sooner Cass's group tracks down that asshat, Metatron, then the sooner we can focus on the next thing that comes out way." He said and the demon hummed a little.

"A hunter's work is never done. I can't say I pity you. But since there's nothing else to be done at this moment, I think I'll take my leave. Ciao."

Before Dean could protest, Crowley was gone. Dean grumbled to himself before he rested his arms on the table. Then he glanced down at his arm, looking at the scar.

Cain said there was a great cost with bearing this mark. At the time Dean was laser focused on killing Abaddon. But should he have taken things more into consideration?

Sam met with Castiel in his quarters since Cass was needed there while his followers continued the pursuit of Metatron. So now the two were simply in the angel's office so they could converse in private.

"So how are you holding up with the stolen grace?" Sam asked as a bit of an ice breaker and he watched Cass smile slightly, knowing that he'd say there was no need to worry about him.

"I can assure you that I'm holding up just fine for the time being. There is no need to he concerned when there are other important matters at hand. I know you came because you're worried about Dean," The angel said in his usual monotonous tone.

Sam gave that slightly awkward but point taken grin of his before speaking again, "Yeah, well, uh.. It's just that mark he got from Cain."

"You see that it's effecting him too. And what are you suggesting that we do?" Castiel asked, "You know that he cannot be without the mark until Metatron is defeated and he is the only one that can use the First Blade. You are already doing all that you can by not bringing it on every hunt you're on."

Sam sighed a little. He supposed the angel could have been right but even so, it wasn't comforting. Somehow it just wasn't enough. He's already thought about locking Dean up in the dungeon without the blade for a while so he's not a danger to anyone else yet.

Of course, the key word was yet. So there's a chance that Sam would have to do something that extreme.

"That's not enough, Cass. I don't want that stupid thing to affect Dean more than it already has. We have to come up with a plan or find someone that can at least help the situation before it gets any worse." The younger Winchester said.

The angel looked down at the hunter while he was sitting in the chair in front of him. He could tell just how worried the brother was and he knew that it was something that would never change. Even if there was seemingly no way for there to be any kind of relief before the changes worsen, he knew that Sam would stop at nothing to find a way to protect his big brother.

"There... there is a rumor amongst demons and angels alike." Castiel finally spoke again, causing Sam to perk up.

"A rumor? A rumor about what?" Sam asked as he sat up in the chair, giving the angel his undivided attention.

"It's simply a hearsay, so I can't promise this as some sort of definite truth so you must keep that in mind.'' The man in the trench coat warned.

"Yeah, yeah, just get on with it already."

"Well, there is a matter of Cain's descendants. Of course the ones mentioned in the Bible are dead because they were mortal and there are few left that carry Cain's blood in their veins. And even if they did, they wouldn't care his mark." The angel began.

"Okay, well what does that have to do with anything? If his decedents are slim pickings and they're human, it's highly unlikely that they'd know anything about the mark."

"Sam, I would appreciate a lack of interruptions if you'd like to hear what I have to say."

"Right. Sorry."

"Anyway, as I was saying, there is a rumor amongst Angels and Demons that there is one specific relative of Cain. One that wouldn't be mentioned in the Bible because she was conceived long after the book of Revelation was written. It is said that she walks among us to this day. The direct Daughter of Cain and Mistress of Murder. She is the spawn of a Knight of Hell and the Father of Murder."

"Wait, I thought Cain killed all of the Knights of Hell except for Abaddon who got away. How can she be a spawn of the both of them?" Sam asked, totally at a loss by the idea.

"Demons have their ways. Speculation from the ancient demons such as Azazel back in the day said that somehow, the demons obtained some of Cain's DNA and somehow used Abaddon's DNA, created a spell and Abaddon became pregnant. Cain's daughter is the first born-demon. She was born with the mark. All through experimentation and magic." Castiel said.

"That's insane! I knew demons were sick but this is just dispicable." Sam said and shook his head, and the angel couldn't help but to agree.

"The purpose of this was of course Abaddon's idea so that she had the perfect weapon to use against Cain. Cain supposedly doesn't know of his own daughter's existence and because she was born a demon rather than dying and becoming a demon, she is still living and arguably just as powerful as Cain himself, if not more powerful. But it's said that because Cain was once human, and Abaddon, of course, conceived with a human vessel, the child had some humane traits."

Sam was shocked at all of the overwhelming information. A demon that was born rather than a human dying and becoming a demon or being possessed? All of this was a bit much to grasp.

"So if this girl is still alive, why haven't we seen her? You'd think she'd want some sort of revenge since Dean killed her mother, right?" Sam asked.

"Well, that's a little complicated. The Mistress of Murder was not trained with the concept of family. It was said she and Abaddon never got along and because they clashed, supposedly because of her father's traits, she favored the idea of free will and not taking orders like Lucifer's demons. That was the time Abaddon told the girl who her father was and because she favored the human's idea of free will, she fought her mother and left Hell before going into hiding. Much like her father before her."

"That doesn't make any sense. Demons are pure evil right? How can one favor humanity? Especially one that you would think is born a demon." Sam continued.

"To be frank? That's the part that confuses everyone. That's why angels and demons only say this is a rumor rather than truth. There can be contradictions but some battle the contradictions and claim the humanity comes from faulty magic." Castiel answered.

"Well, first we'd have to find out if she's even real, right? Then maybe she knows something about the mark and can help us. If she was born with it then surely there's a way to subside it." Sam said, suddenly getting hopeful.

"Sam, this is going to be a bit complicated if she does know something. The mark is dangerous on anyone. And because she was born with it, because she's been killing since childhood, you don't know how she's handled her murderous urges over these last few centuries. She may not have the self restraint Cain supposedly had." The angel warned and Sam got up.

"We still have to try. She may not know how to get the mark off, but I'll take even the smallest bit of help rather than nothing."

Meanwhile, in Cincinnati Ohio, there was a little tattoo shop. It was a quaint little place that had been in business for a little while now. About four years to be exact.

There, sitting in a small chair with a handheld tattoo machine in her grasp and working diligently on her artwork, was the owner of the shop. A girl that no one truly knew anything about, but the mystery was a part of what kept some people coming, outside of the artwork.

You had practically shown up out of nowhere, bought a little building, renovated it and turned it into the little shop it was today. You were talented with your work, but outside of the fact that you were the owner of this place and had plenty of experience with your line of work, no one knew anything about the mysterious tattoo artist with the badass mark on her arm. Granted you enjoyed lying low and staying away from demons and angels alike, you got bored. You knew exactly where Cain resided before the current King of Hell and some human went and bothered him. But you yourself had never decided to go and meet the man you inherited the blasted mark from.

You didn't spare your father's life because you had compassion. Frankly you didn't care enough about your so called father to spare his life out of love. You barely knew the man. It was more to spite your mother.

You wished you could say you hadn't killed in centuries and of course you knew it was out of your demonic nature. But you figured if your father could walk away from Hell even if he was a demon, why couldn't you?

Of course, the urges were there. The thirst for blood was there and it never left. The burn from your mark ignited your entire arm constantly. It was a perpetual pain you endured.

But because you can't say you were clean of killing, that only meant one other option. You still were a killer. No one had shown you what it was like to be human and not kill. You couldn't deny your demon blood. You refused to go back to Hell, you didn't care to aid angels because they'd kill you anyway.

Humans though, as ideal as it may seem, their deaths cause too much attention. That would ruin your chances of lying low. Plus humans tend to miss other humans and you didn’t want to be investigated over a missing person’s case.

But with the ever growing pain in your arm, you found that you liked the hunters' idea of killing monsters. Victims that no one would miss. They don't have souls so it's not like their death would benefit heaven or hell.

So the monsters were your designated victims, at least for now. Hey, the mark never said who you had to kill. And even if you did want to kill humans, you refused to give Hell the satisfaction of giving them souls. And over the years, you had fun with it once in a while, depending on how demented the monster was.

"Hey, Y/N?" Your client asked as he sat up when you were done with your work. You hummed a little as you got what you needed to make sure the tattoo would be protected during the healing process.

"I was wondering if you were taking any apprentice positions. I have this nephew who's getting out of high school and he's got talent. He want's to go to college and get some kind of art major but he needs a job since his financial aid and scholarships won't quite cover everything." The client said.

You lifted a brow. This was the first time something like this had come up. You didn't plan on working and teaching someone else. Let alone a human, but because of your senses you knew that this was no human.

"Let me think about it. I'll get back to you." Was all you decided to say and he got up out of the chair.

"Huh, so they say you do have a human conscience after all, Mistress of Murder."

You hummed a little and took your gloves off before standing up, not bothering to look the demon in the eye when it showed off his black eyes to you.

"Oh no, Kid. I was just entertained by your charade. I thought that I would play along just for your sake. You do well acting human, but don't you have a new king you should be serving?" You asked.

"Well the new King of Hell has tasked me in finding you and bringing you back to Hell wince Abaddon is dead. So if you'll just come with me then I'll go easy on you." The demon said and you scoffed and rolled your eyes.

"Oh how merciful of you, Mr. Demon. But unfortunately for you, I don't plan on going anywhere, and I certainly don't plan on anyone ever finding out where I am." You said.

"Very well. Have it your way." The demon said and he lunged at you with all the force he could muster but you took a hold of his wrist, unphased by his attack.

"You must be new to this demon thing. You're the weakest little pest I've ever seen." You said and you gripped even tighter and the demon was unable to move when you pinned him to the floor.

Then you placed a hand on his head, his black eyes widening with horror and when he tried to leave his human vessel, your eyes glowed red and you smirked, "Oh no, I don't think so, Love. You came in my territory, and you won't be going anywhere."

Then the demon started convulsing beneath your touch, the human body was growing hot as the demon started chocking. Then it started to vomit some sort of black liquid before it finally stopped moving completely. It lay there lifeless, eyes still black and wide open.

Then your eyes returned to their normal color.

"Well, it wasn't the most satisfying kill. But like I said, Kid. I don't intend on anyone finding me." You said and with the snap of your fingers, the corpse turned to red smoke and the mess vanished as if nothing had ever happened.

But one of the things he said stuck with you. You lifted your sleeve and looked down at your father's mark.

"So... she's finally dead. Too bad, I was hoping I'd get to her first."

Thank you!!!

Thank you guys so much for reading! Your support and feedback is greatly appreciated! Be sure to stay on the lookout for part two! I’m hoping to get it out soon along with a masterlist! You all are amazing! 🖤

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@johannelis2302nely @justtrying2getby-blog @deans-spinster-witch @roseblue373 @alternativeprincess @doctorlexilouwhosblog

[lol-jackles]

Hi. Your blog is still on alarm on my dash. Really enjoying your opinions.

If your time allows you, I’d like to know your opinion & reviews on SPN 9X13.

"The Purge" has Sam and Dean go undercover in a health spa after finding a link to deaths where the victims have lost their entire fat reserve. They discover the owners are a pair of Peruvian monsters, a sister and brother who parallel Sam and Dean; the sister wants to co-exist with humans and help them by siphoning off surplus unwanted fat for food, the other only want to feed and more he tries his sister's way, the hungrier he got until he succumbs to his nature and kills for food. This foreshadow Dean's struggle to live with the Mark of Cain until he couldn't, increasingly becoming "hungry" as the season went on. Sam have lived and adapted with his freakish, "unclean" nature for so long that he is fully functional even if he never makes peace with it.

One of the strengths of Supernatural is their stand-alone/MotW/filler episodes usually advance the season-long arcs and even get referenced or talked about in later episodes. Despite Sam and Dean’s church codependent commitment ceremony in season 8's finale, they still got baggage and hence Dean lying about the extreme, desperate measures he took to save Sam’s life in season 9's premiere and keeping him in the dark.  Once Sam found out, he is angry and bewildered by Dean’s actions that he sees as betrayal, and draws up boundaries as a way of saving his relationship with Dean. But from Dean’s pov the new boundaries were walls set to destroy what is between him and Sam. So Dean conflated saving Sam from the Peruvian monster in this episode to saving Sam in those 2 previous episodes in attempt to remove the wall between them that Sam set up.

Remember, Dean isn't going to learn the same lesson each season, which is why he made Sam's anger over the Gadreel possession about his (Dean) own issue and left Sam alone (with Cas in the bunker) to hunt down Gadreel... only to run into Cain got the Mark to, huh, kill Abaddon instead for some reason.

Understandably Sam is frustrated as the 3 incidents were not the same: in the church, Dean told Sam the truth that the ritual will cause his death and promised Sam not only will they find another way, that he would never put some one else before Sam. Dean wasn't hiding information from Sam. Dean saving Sam from the Peruvian monster was a straightforward action, no underhanded agenda. So Sam told Dean the unvarnished truth: Dean didn't want to be alone. This gets brought up again by Billie in season 11's "Red Meat", and in season 13','s "Advanced Thanatology" Dean tells Billie that he's dragging down Sam.

Sam's admission that he wouldn't save Dean under "same circumstances" means he wouldn't selfishly save Dean for personal gains, or without vital information. Back in season 3 he first sought Dean’s agreement to use the immortality serum instead of giving it to him without informing him ahead of time. Sam was ready to die in the hospital (season 9 premiere) and Dean essentially violated a do-not-resuscitate order (DNR). Nobody can really blame Dean for wanting to save Sam's life at any cost, but he fails to see things from Sam's pov that led to him needing boundaries in the first place.

I found the scene of Dean immediately recognizing roofies pretty on-the-nose. He said he didn't want to end up missing kidneys while traveling in little known places, which, yeah good idea, so why didn't Sam know what roofies look like? I took it as callback to when Sam didn't know he was being possessed by Gadreel under Dean's watch.

"The Purge" was one of the weaker MotW episodes but it still gets the job done of advancing the main storyline arcs. It started out as a lighter filler episode and ended with a "truth hurts" bite that leaves a deeply wounding mark that set off a fierce fandom debate.

[deancaspinefest]

A Fabulous Evening's Apocalypse

Author: MrBotanyB | Artist: BasketcaseBetty

Posting on Monday April 1

Look at it this way: Their trip to the far end of space and time to chase a (very) long shot at freeing Dean from the Mark of Cain could have ended a lot worse than it did. It wasn't even the worst idea they'd ever had. The so-called Restaurant At the End of the Universe loops endlessly in time through the final hours of Creation while guests dance, eat, and drink until the very last of last calls. A consequence of it being a time loop is that anybody who visits can meet everybody else who was ever there. Even a centuries-dead witch who likes the challenge of lifting unbreakable curses. It didn't work out like they'd hoped, but they didn't die. True, Cas did get stranded there for a bit but they got him back. Eventually. So it was fine. That was then. And now, Sam and Dean are out of ideas for getting Cas out of the Empty. Dean has been thinking a lot about realizing important truths too late, and missed chances, and (very) long shots. And he wonders if the key to rescuing the Cas he lost might just be enlisting the help of the Cas he left behind nearly ten years ago. If it doesn't work, at least he'll get to see Cas one more time.

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

"I don't know for sure if he's the man from your photo, but they do look awfully alike. He'll probably be in the Fomalhaut Lounge. You can take the service passages," Zmallia said. She stepped back into a particularly shadowy corner and pressed a barely-visible panel. There was a whirr as a door he hadn't noticed slid open. "The fastest way is to follow the signs for the engine room until you get to the stairs, then keep going up until you see the big panel of signs for the different bars," she explained rapidly. "And don't take the elevator unless you want an argument. Obviously," she added.

Dean nodded as if this made any sense at all and ducked into the dimly lit passage. "Good luck!" Zmallia called after him.

And just as the door whirred shut: "Sorry I yelled at you earlier!"

As soon as he had rounded a corner, Dean stopped and leaned against the wall, bracing his hands on his knees. The new round of headache and nausea wasn't quite as intense as what he had felt when he stepped out of the portal, but it was still bad enough he couldn't just power through it.

Going soft in my old age, he thought. It wasn't as painful a thought as it would once have been.

Many flights of stairs and about fifteen minutes later, Dean stepped into a high-ceilinged, softly-lit room decorated in dark golds and blues. It wasn't overly crowded, but it was large enough that Dean couldn't tell right away whether or not Cas was actually here. The "room" was almost a balcony, Dean realized: the longest wall was a waist-high glass railing that provided an unobstructed view of what was left of the dying universe, easily observed through the great transparent dome covering the entire restaurant. A good part of the crowd was gathered near the railing, and many others were nursing drinks at the long curving bar, which was backed by open shelving through which you could see the opposite side of the dome. Dean had just decided to ask one of the waiters if they'd seen Cas when he spotted him behind the bar, polishing a glass and looking perfectly at home, solid and real.

He had thought it might be a shock to see Cas alive again, and it was — the best kind of shock. It was beyond awesome to see Cas right there. The recessed lighting from the bar angled off his cheekbones and made his hair look even darker than it was. His uniform was spotless. He looked like a movie star. He almost looked like he was glowing.

But in a rotten, selfish way, seeing him was disappointing: this Cas lacked five years' worth of experience that had shaped the person who had died for Dean (while Dean had stood there, useless and uncertain.) This Cas had never even imagined knowing Jack. The happiness Dean felt choking his throat just meant he was putting his own greedy feelings ahead of his Cas, the one still trapped in the Empty. The one Dean had come all this way to try to bring home.

But thinking that also felt rotten. Dean knew that this Cas was, literally at this moment, waiting for Dean or Sam to help him get home. Maybe he was worrying that they wouldn't be able to. (Or wouldn't bother.) How did the Cas in front of him deserve less?

(continue reading on Ao3 on Monday April 1)

[aliusfrater]

it's interesting to me that spn portrays sam's actions as entirely, consistently and constantly outrageous, overdone, dramatic or even hyperbolic despite having exactly the same intentions or being a result of a, due to or involving similar consequence in an almost identical event that's happened to/forced dean's hand. like naturally sam and dean are foils of each other and will therefore respond to similar situations in opposite ways due to their characterisations and how they've been built to represent certain themes/topic in the plot but sam is always chosen to/is represented as having his actions being much more drastic or less justified than dean's.

in seasons three to five, sam's lack of control leads him to addiction and being the victim of a grooming relationship and the entire time the show represents him as an almost kind of out of control child who is lying to their parent and is sneaking around doing things that are unhealthy to them that said parent is trying to raise them to avoid; the theme of inherent evil is constantly brought up in relation to him despite the nature of his character disproving it over and over again. dean consistently sees him as a monster and does not attempt to accept sam as he is and explore what sam cannot change about himself with him but because sam is portrayed as out of control, this view of sam is represented as almost justifiable. sam is considered in need of being Saved and therefore everything dean does in order to do so is entirely justifiable. in seasons nine and ten, this same plot line is flipped and speed ran, but with dean. he gains the mark of cain and despite being portrayed as out of control, the show separates Dean wholly from his actions with the mark as a metaphorical wall, even going further to make him a demon, basically entirely and automatically removing Dean from his actions and therefore (rather than making them justifiable) is able to absolved of 'his' actions. after hitting every dead end in relation to getting rid of the mark, dean is now facing the same lack of control sam did , and in true foil fashion, this leads him to inaction, unlike sam's hyperbolic action. because the show does not represent dean's issue as relating explicitly to his character or as something inherent to him and because dean's response is essentially to play dead and hope his prey moves on after which he can keep living until he needs to do so again (portraying his taken agency as more passive than sam's taken agency), dean feels as though there is no saving that can occur and the show flips to portraying sam's actions of trying to save him as not as justifiable as if it were dean doing the same

[randomperson99sworld]

Ruffled Feathers 🪶

~ Part 24 ~

Summary: Julia Morgan, Bobby's niece, has always been a royal thorn in Dean Winchesters ass since the day they met 1 year ago at Bobby's memorial. She wants to be a hunter, he thinks she's a dumb kid playing dress up. Will she always be seen as an unwanted load in Dean's eyes or will he see something more?

Pairing: Dean x OC

Warnings: Age gap, language, sexual themes (used lightly), physical abuse (Not by Dean).

Word Count: 1,001

A/N: Please note the events won't be accurate to the show as I haven't watched it in a while. Stated as always, this story is cross posted on Wattpad. I hope you've enjoyed the story so far though! Happy reading! ♥️

As they prepared to leave, Dean turned to Julia, his expression serious, the weight of everything on his shoulders. "You're staying back on this one," he said firmly, already bracing for her reaction.

Julia, unsurprisingly, wasn't thrilled. Her eyes narrowed, arms crossed. "Seriously, Dean? Again? I'm not made of glass, you know."

Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I know you're not, but this one's different. It's dangerous—worse than usual. I don't want you getting caught in the crossfire."

"You mean you don't trust yourself because of the Mark," Julia said, cutting to the heart of it. She wasn't stupid. She knew he was more worried about losing control than he was about the case itself.

Dean tensed but didn't deny it. "Yeah, maybe. But either way, I'm not risking it. Just stay here, help out with research."

Julia huffed in annoyance but relented. "Fine. But if you come back in worse shape than the last time, don't expect any sympathy."

Dean smirked faintly. "Wouldn't dream of it."

With that, Dean and Sam left the bunker, leaving Julia frustrated but ultimately worried. She knew something was coming, something big, and Dean wasn't ready for it. None of them were.

After hours of tracking down leads, Sam and Dean finally uncovered that the First Blade had been taken by Cuthbert Sinclair, a rogue member of the Men of Letters who now went by the name Magnus. He had stolen the Blade years ago to add to his collection of supernatural artifacts, hiding himself away in a massive, enchanted mansion.

The brothers managed to locate Magnus and his mansion, and after a tense encounter, they were allowed inside. Magnus was charismatic, but there was a disturbing obsession with his "collection," which he proudly showed off. The First Blade was there, kept under glass like a trophy. But it wasn't long before things turned sour.

Magnus, fascinated by Dean and the Mark of Cain, decided that Dean would be his next prized addition. "You're unique, Dean. The Mark of Cain, that kind of power—it belongs in my collection." His voice was smooth, but his intentions were anything but.

Dean's hand itched, feeling the pull of the Mark as Magnus' words hit him. "I'm nobody's trophy," Dean growled.

Before they could react, Magnus used his magic to freeze Sam in place, leaving Dean to fight off his guards. In the chaos, Dean managed to break free and grab the First Blade. The moment his hand wrapped around the hilt, the Mark flared to life, surging through him with a dark, intoxicating power.

Magnus laughed. "You feel it, don't you? That's the power you were meant to wield."

Dean's grip on the Blade tightened, his vision narrowing as the world around him blurred. The Mark was taking over, pushing him toward violence, urging him to kill.

Sam, still trapped, called out, "Dean! Don't let it control you!"

But it was too late. Dean, consumed by the Mark's influence, swung the Blade with brutal force, decapitating Magnus in one swift motion. The room went silent, and Sam was freed from Magnus' spell, but Dean just stood there, breathing heavily, the Blade still in his hand.

Sam approached cautiously. "Dean, drop the Blade. It's over."

Dean's hand trembled as he struggled to release the weapon, his mind fighting against the overwhelming desire to keep holding it, to use it again.

Finally, with visible effort, he dropped the Blade to the ground, taking a step back as if he'd just come out of a trance. His eyes met Sam's, wide with shock and fear. "It... it felt right," Dean muttered, his voice thick with guilt. "Too right."

Before they could fully process what had happened, Crowley appeared in the room, his usual smug grin in place. "What a mess."

Dean glared at him. "Not now, Crowley."

Crowley's eyes flickered to the Blade on the ground. "I think now's the perfect time, actually." Without warning, Crowley snatched up the Blade, holding it out of reach. "Don't worry, boys. I'll take good care of this until we're ready to go after Abaddon. Can't have you losing your heads—literally—before the big showdown."

Sam stepped forward. "Crowley, give it back."

Crowley shook his head, wagging a finger. "Oh, I don't think so. Not until you've dealt with your little... Mark problem. Besides, I need to make sure you won't turn this on me. Can't have any accidents now, can we?"

Dean clenched his fists, but Sam held him back, knowing there was no use fighting Crowley right now.

Crowley smirked, twirling the Blade in his hand. "Find Abaddon, and I'll return it. Until then, it's mine."

With that, Crowley vanished, leaving the brothers standing in the aftermath of the fight.

Dean ran a hand over his face, the weight of everything pressing down on him. "I don't know if I can do this, Sam. The Mark... it's stronger than I thought."

Sam placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "We'll figure it out. But right now, we need to focus on Abaddon. One step at a time."

Dean nodded, but the doubt remained in his eyes. The Mark of Cain wasn't just a burden; it was becoming a part of him. And the more he used the Blade, the harder it would be to fight its influence.

Back at the bunker, Julia was waiting anxiously, pacing the library when Sam and Dean returned. The moment Dean walked in, tired and still shaken, she rushed over to him, relief flooding her face. "You're back."

Dean, still worn down from the events with Magnus, managed a tired smile. "Yeah, I'm back."

Julia didn't hesitate, wrapping her arms around him in a quick hug. Startled, Dean froze for a moment before slowly hugging her back, still processing everything. Their usual banter hung in the air, but there was an unspoken understanding between them now—a closeness neither of them wanted to acknowledge just yet.

But for now, they had bigger problems.

[ananke-xiii]

nostalgic pb&j and uneaten cheeseburger

food motifs abounds in s9, a season where angels were unsubtly compared to apex predators (in all the meanings of the word, angels are "monsters with good pr") and where cain (apex predator extraordinaire, father of murder AND farming) is a beekeeper.

angels on earth are sadly feeding off human souls and hunting down the perfect matches that can contain them. a good chunk of them are downright parasites and they all remind me of a virus: a hunter creature that needs a host to live. if the heavenly host has its gates shut down the angels are definitely not above using different methods of energy siphoning.

castiel and sam are two good examples of strong vessels and in no time angels seek them out, con them and try to sneak into their meatsuits. it doesn't work for cas but in sam's case they were successful. (i'm not gonna enter the gadreel arena right now but i just want to note that no angel looked for the michael's sword: interesting, though, that he ends up with the first blade, an object hidden in the depths of the ocean ((this thing with dean and oceans/submarines/things locked and thrown into deep-sea spaces is quite beautiful. i mean very. very sad but beautiful nonetheless considering that water is the number one maternal symbol)).

while sam is the unfortunate guinea pig/food metaphor in this scenario, castiel, who escaped possession, learns the joy of eating. he eats a lot of stuff, even toothpaste. he loves burritos. but what he loves the most are pb&j.

pb&j was the food april (i'm also not gonna go there now for my own mental health) offered him in his hour of need, when his newly found basic needs weren't met and when he felt the most lonely and vulnerable. pb&j is thus also associated with the exploration of sex (good idea, awful. awful execution) since this is what he does with april. and since april is a reaper who kills him, food, sex and death get all tangled up in one thing, 3 letters: p b and j, the human trifecta.

so when cas eats something else (the grace of one of his own) and becomes an angel again he's cut off from human experiences (except fear, anger, hurt, grief, getting manipulated and lied to cause apparently those are universal things and the human experience is reduced to the sensual and the physical realms, the sole things that can bring some joy while happiness seem nowhere to be found in all species. but that's for another day).

becoming a born-again angel (and the prey that eats its predator) makes castiel nostalgic of his time as a human. a pb&j sandwich just doesn't taste the same now. which seems a paradox since his time as human was nothing but pain but i digress (i'm not 100% sure castiel has ever come close to the rationalization of the tons of abuse he had to suffer). because cas has learnt something as a "human" and that's what counts. he's not the same as he was before. he has changed.

cheeseburgers, on the other hand, are dean's favorite. they mean what they mean to every human: many things. The joy of eating and sharing convivial moments, a refuge from the pain, a coping mechanism, a way to keep the body alive in the ways one can afford etc. as i said, many, many things.

they're also the food dean refuses to eat in "my bloody valentine", an episode about the emptiness, the void and the darkness one can feel inside. the same episode where an unusual castiel scarfs down hundreds of cheeseburgers.

in other words, when dean refuses a cheeseburger... when he leaves one uneaten... things are not good. even crowley knows this and seeing dean leaving the food untouched marks his moment of glory.

an uneaten cheeseburger means dean's too detached from human experiences, too close to jump to the other side. and, unfortunately, this ia exactly what happens: if castiel was seduced and killed by april, dean is seduced by crowley and eventually got killed as a result.

the way to becoming a demon makes dean leave his uneaten cheeseburger, his human life in a little nutshell. he's also not the same as before. he has changed.

there's like. a lot. to say about the food motifs in s9. i find it very interesting and helps me enjoy the season and engage with it in a critical way that doesn't depress me every minute of every episode.