#in the way that I would have The Ship for a lot of them I mean
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Haiiii im scouring Tumblr in search of friends to lovers! or besties with feelings! hcs for Hamzah and im pretty sure ive read all of them lol so could you make do one pretty please??? 🤭
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friends2lovers!hamzah headcanons
a/n: oh my fingers have been ITCHINHGGGHGHG for something like this .. i couldve written an entire book on this but let me calm down . HOPE U ENJOY !! thank u for the req anon :-) warnings: none
SFW <3
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
friends 2 lovers!hamzah headcanons<3
friends but crushing:
gets increasingly more nervous around you the longer he knows you
looks at you for just a little too long sometimes
hysterically denies it when you do catch him staring
literally doesn’t know how to act around you lol
will absentmindedly play with your fingers or the ends of your hair when sitting near him, and will then silently freak out as he zones back in and becomes too aware of what he’s doing lmao
a plethora of edits on tiktok shipping you two, speculation of “are they dating???” “did you see how he looked at her” galore
WAY too shy and awkward to make a move
makes many feeble attempts at flirting a little regardless
flirting to bf-gf !!!!:
freezes completely when you start flirting back
youre a little more bold about it, and he sometimes doesn’t know what to do with allat
making funny, suggestive jokes at him while filming videos or during the podcast, causing him to be even more flustered as it is on camera lol
gets a little unsure and anxious when it comes to physical affection, so it took a lot of pining and hesitation and yearning and frustration before the first kiss :o
after the first kiss yall beat around the bush like a bull in a china shop LMAO
however, slowly but surely, you naturally gravitate towards each other, and absentminded hand-holding and kisses on cheeks start to occur more often
at some point, it all flows so easily, he starts kissing you when he comes (the sfw one yall) and goes
tbh he just starts introducing you as his girlfriend one day
“since when am i your girlfriend?” “uhh… now, i guess…? if you want to, i mean…”
you say yes, of course
bf!hamzah:
still a little clueless on how to act now that he has you
like he’ll quickly look away after kissing you, struggles to maintain eye contact for too long, gets flustered so easily it actually frustrates him a little
HATES pda, but is the clingiest, neediest mfer behind closed doors omg
loves laying with his head between your thighs so you can play with his hair (when he still fucking had hair .)
not that into petnames… finds it more meaningful to call you by your nickname <3
literally stuck to your side once you both touch the sheets
always falls asleep with his head on your chest, so you can, again, play with his hair (or caress his now bald head like polishing a billiard ball idk)
loveeeeeees your perfume and your scent in general
becomes the actual textbook definition of ‘clingy’ when he’s gone on a cousin walk if u know what i mean hehe
half-lidded, red eyes, a sheepish grin on his face, shamelessly staring at you
followed by a hazy, dreamy, slightly sloppy make-out session iktr
we all know that man has a tendency to whine and moan and whimper no matter the situation so just imagine what he would sound like when kissing........... and other things LOL
he loves to slide his hands underneath your shirt
ass & thigh guy for SUREEEE woah
a lot of unserious play fighting, verbally and physically
which of course causes him to gag for absolutely no reason
doesnt have a lot of experience in the love department but he feels sooo comfortable with you and you make him feel like he doesn’t need any experience at all to know how to treat & love you so good <3
#i couldve gone on for about five pages more but ill refrain... for now#thank u for the request omggggg hehe#slushynoobz#hamzahthefantastic#hamzah fic#hamzah imagines#hamzah x reader#hamzah#hamzah hc#hamzah headcanon#headcanon#headcanons#martin and hamzah#slushy virus#slushy noobs#slushy
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Iceberg's Jewel pt. 1
This is just another idea rattling around in my head! While this is still yandere Batfam, the premise is slightly different—here, they haven’t quite met you yet. The focus starts with Oswald Cobblepot and the Iceberg Lounge, but trust me, the Batfamily won’t be far behind. Timeline-wise, this would technically come first, even though in my other yandere Batfam fics, Tim and Jason have already had their moments with you. So yes, there will be a plot hole later where they’ve somehow already hooked up with you—just roll with it. Consider it canon-ish, but mostly just me playing around with ideas. tl;dr: This is a prequel of sorts to my other yandere Batfam fics, but I’m mostly here to have fun with the concept. Hope you enjoy! 💙 word count: 3201
Oswald Cobblepot prided himself on running a tight ship. The Iceberg Lounge was a beacon of opulence in Gotham, catering to a clientele that wanted their danger with a side of champagne. When he put out that little “Help Wanted” sign as a joke—an amusing way to signal to the people he was looking for that he was ready to onboard—he hadn’t expected someone like you to waltz in.
You were nervous but bright-eyed, clutching a copy of your résumé (how quaint) in one hand, wearing a Gotham University sweater that screamed student loans and part-time hustle. The smile you gave him when he walked into the lounge floor was disarming—too genuine for this city. You asked to speak to someone about the janitorial position, and Os had to bite back a laugh.
“A janitor? Here? Sweetheart, you might be too good for this place,” he muttered under his breath, too quietly for you to hear, before waving a hand dismissively at one of his goons. “Send her to my office.”
His office wasn’t where interviews were usually held—far too personal, far too… revealing. But for some reason, he wanted to gauge you himself. Maybe it was your naivete; maybe it was the way your gaze lingered on the crystal chandeliers and plush carpets like you’d never seen luxury this close before. You were looking at him as a normal boss, not a criminal mastermind, and he realized he might like that.
By the time you’d been seated in the chair across from his polished mahogany desk for only 15 minutes, he was already hooked. He asked simple questions at first—your availability, your experience—but quickly veered into territory that let him know more about you. Your classes at Gotham U were interesting, but you worked too much to fully appreciate them. You loved your psychology major but struggled with scheduling, hoping that the pay here was more than the measly pay you scrounged from your other two jobs. He listened with great interest as you spoke of your genuine excitement to be working in a "classy place like this."
He didn’t have the heart to tell you this place wasn’t really classy—just good at pretending.
Cobblepot tilted his head, the curiosity in his expression sharpening as he tapped a finger against the arm of his chair. “You’re not from here, are you?” he asked, a sly grin forming. “So, what do you think of our little city?”
“Oh, uh…” You laughed nervously, shifting in your seat. “It’s… something, that’s for sure. Gotham’s kinda like… I don’t know, a scrappy mutt? It bites, like, a lot, but you can’t help but wanna pet it anyway. It’s scrappy and loveable.”
Oswald chuckled, the sound low and genuine. “Lovable?” he repeated, shaking his head. “You’re a strange one. Most people run for the hills when it comes to Gotham.”
“Yeah, well…” You shrugged, the faintest smile tugging at your lips. “I’m already here, so I might as well figure it out, y’know? Plus, it’s not all bad. I mean, the people are tough, and the city’s got… personality. A weird, messed-up personality, but still.”
He found himself appreciating your honesty. It was a rare thing in his world—people who weren’t either trying to butter him up or wring him dry. And that smile… Hm. Something about it didn’t belong here.
Then, the door to his office slammed open. A goon stumbled in without so much as a knock, huffing like a dog chasing its own tail as he fumbled a thick stack of papers in his hands.
Oswald snapped to attention so fast it was animalistic. One second, he was relaxed, bemused by you—the next, his face contorted with fury, his lips curling back in a snarl that made the dim office feel suddenly suffocating.
“What?” Cobblepot snarled, his tone cutting like ice. The very air in the room seemed to turn electric, humming with the promise of violence.
The goon froze mid-step, eyes darting between you and his boss. He looked like he’d just walked into an execution chamber by mistake.
Oswald’s teeth clenched so tight a vein throbbed visibly in his temple. “You knock before coming into my office,” he seethed, voice dropping to something far more dangerous than the initial explosion. Cold. Calculating. A blade slipping between ribs. “You wait. You don’t—”
Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw you.
Frozen.
Wide-eyed.
And just like that, the change was immediate.
His snarl vanished. The storm passed in an instant, like flicking off a switch. The barely-contained rabid rage that had been twisting his face smoothed into something almost… embarrassed. Guiltily casual.
Cobblepot glanced back at you, then at the goon, then back at you. For a brief, telling second, he looked—not regretful, but calculating. Then he sighed through his nose, rolling his shoulders like he was shaking off an unpleasant thought.
"Handle it later," he ordered, voice abruptly warm. Silk-soft. As if he hadn’t just been inches from taking a man’s head off. His hand flicked lazily toward the door, a dismissive gesture. “Can’t you see I’m with someone?”
The goon scuttled out of the room like a kicked dog, the papers in his hands rustling violently as he clutched them to his chest.
The moment the door shut, Oswald let out a measured breath, as if centering himself. Then, in a whiplash-inducing shift, he turned back to you with an awkward, almost sheepish smile.
"Sorry about that,” he said, voice dripping with artificial sweetness, as if his outburst had never happened. He waved a hand, dismissing it entirely, his gaze keenly watching your expression for any lasting tension. “Some of my employees just don’t have any manners.”
You offered a polite, thin smile, still shaken, but brushed it off with a shrug. You had already figured this place wasn’t exactly warm and welcoming, but the speed at which his fury had vanished was... unsettling.
Oswald noticed.
He noticed everything.
And for the first time in a long, long while… he wasn’t sure if he liked the way your smile still had a hint of nerves clinging to it.
The Batcave was unusually quiet, save for the faint tapping of Tim’s keyboard and the low hum of the monitors. Bruce sat at the console, watching the live feed from Oswald Cobblepot’s office. You were seated across from the Penguin, a mixture of nerves and polite excitement etched on your face. The Iceberg Lounge’s chandelier lights reflected in your wide eyes as you gestured animatedly, your Gotham University sweater and résumé betraying your earnestness in a city that thrived on deception.
“Can’t decide if she’s brave or just clueless,” Tim remarked, leaning back slightly as he toggled between camera feeds. “She walked into Cobblepot’s lair with a résumé. A résumé, Bruce.”
“She’s a student trying to make ends meet. That’s not bravery—it’s necessity.”
Damian’s voice crackled through the comms. “She really responded to a ‘help wanted’ ad? Tt. Typical. Of course that bloated bird would choose a naive one. She’ll probably end up scrubbing vomit out of his VIP lounge carpets.”
Tim tutted thoughtfully at Damian’s comment. “I mean…..he’s probably aiming higher than janitorial work for her. Did you hear the way he sweetened his voice?”
Damian scoffed but didn't reply.
A new voice broke in over the comms—Dick, speaking from his position on patrol. “You think she knows what she’s getting into? Working there isn’t exactly safe.”
“She doesn’t,” Bruce answered simply, “But that doesn’t make her unique. Plenty of people stumble into Gotham’s underworld without realizing it. We can’t save everyone.”
Tim muttered, “Still doesn’t mean we should ignore it. If Penguin’s targeting her for something, we’ll want to know why.”
Damian chimed in again, his tone slightly mocking. “We already know why, Drake. He likes his toys naïve, optimistic, and disposable. She won’t last a week before she gets a reality check—or worse.”
Bruce’s eyes flicked toward the feed as Cobblepot stood, offering you a hand and gesturing toward the door. “They’re moving,” Bruce said. “Tim, keep the office feed rolling, and find another camera angle.”
“We won’t have audio and depending on where he’s taking her, I’m not sure we’ll have visuals either.”
There was a moment of silence, the kind that spoke volumes in the Batcave.
Dick broke it. “She’s smart enough to know what Cobblepot is, right? I mean, who walks into the Iceberg Lounge thinking it’s just a nightclub?”
“People who don’t know Gotham,” Tim replied, scrolling through files, soaking in what he can on you. “..She’s a psych major at Gotham U, full-time. She’s been juggling two jobs already, so she’s probably just desperate for the paycheck.”
Damian’s tone turned sharper. “Desperation or not, she’s still a fool. You don’t wear a sweater with your university’s name on it when you waltz into the lion’s den.”
Tim smirked. “Guess she didn’t take Gotham’s prerequisite: Street Smarts 101.”
The screen now displayed the empty office, Cobblepot’s desk abandoned. You were out of their sight, and for the moment, out of their reach. But the Batfamily wasn’t about to let you disappear into the darkness of Gotham without a trace. Tim was scrambling to find a feed that would give them info as to where Cobblepot’s taking you, but at the very least, they have relevant info on you.
Dick’s voice again. “Did you hear her in that interview? ‘Lovable but scrappy.’” He smiled faintly at the words. “She actually likes Gotham. We should keep it that way.”
Tim again, confirming some details. “Transferred to Gotham U from out of state. No criminal record, no red flags.”
Damian’s voice cut in, sharp and dry. “Other than walking into the Iceberg Lounge with a résumé. That’s a red flag for stupidity.”
Dick countered, his tone softer now. “She doesn’t know any better. Give her a break.”
Jason laughed, his voice snarky over the comms line from his own patrol. “Oh, sure, Grayson. Let’s all gather around and shield her from the big bad city. What’s next, care packages?”
Dick sighed audibly, “Don’t you have a crime boss to scare right now?”
Jason chuckled, the sound low and warm. “Already done. You should’ve seen the look on his face. Priceless.” Another faint noise came through, likely the reloading of a gun.
Bruce’s voice cut through before Dick could respond. “Enough. Focus, Jason.”
“Whatever you say, B,” Jason replied breezily, though the teasing lilt was still in his voice. “I’ll keep an eye out, too, just in case our scrappy little friend stirs up any trouble at the Iceberg.”
Damian snorted. “I’ll enjoy seeing Cobblepot’s face when she quits.”
Bruce didn’t respond right away. His eyes lingered on your face, captured mid-smile on the monitor. Quietly, he murmured, “She’ll need another job. A safe one. I’m sure Wayne Enterprises will have something available for her.”
“Keep me updated,” Batman ordered as he stood, his cape swishing as he headed toward the Batmobile. “If she gets in over her head, we’re pulling her out. No debates.”
Damian’s voice came back, quieter this time, reluctant. “She’s already in over her head.”
Little did they know, Oswald Cobblepot’s schemes for you were the furthest thing from exploitative labor. In his mind, the idea of you actually toiling away with a mop and bucket was quickly becoming unthinkable—borderline offensive, even.
The moment he saw the way your eyes sparkled with hope and determination, and saw the way you'd listed your good grades on your resume in a hopeful attempt at impressing him and proving your aptitudes, he’d decided he’d let you sleep on the job if you wanted to. Hell, he’d set up a whole suite in the back of the Lounge if it kept you close and content. You could waste time dusting the empty liquor shelves or filing nonexistent paperwork all day if it made you feel productive. What mattered to him wasn’t what you did—it was that you were here, where he could keep an eye on you.
But of course, Cobblepot wouldn't admit that to himself. Not yet, at least. No, this was just “good business,” he rationalized. You were a valuable asset—your charm and friendliness were enough to lighten up even the Iceberg’s darkest corners. You had a way of making the whole place feel... welcoming and warm, like you were untouched by Gotham’s grime and crime. Plus you wanted to be productive. He scoffed under his breath, amused. Of course one of the first fresh faces ready to work at the Lounge was also someone who he didn’t dream of involving in his actual operations. Just his luck.
So, if you decided you needed an afternoon nap in the dusty janitorial closet? He’d send a goon to bring you a pillow. If you scoured the cleaning supply catalog for hours without actually ordering anything? He’d find it endearing. As long as you were happy and oblivious to the underworld swirling just beneath the Lounge’s polished surface, you could do whatever you wanted.
Unbeknownst to them all, while they debated your safety, Oswald was sitting back in his office, already plotting ways to make your life easier. Sure, he’d keep up the charade of being your boss for now—keep you busy with harmless tasks so you didn’t get suspicious. But he wasn’t about to let you work too hard. Not his sweet, naive new hire.
You didn’t belong in Gotham’s shadows. And as far as Oswald Cobblepot was concerned, he’d make sure you never had to find out just how dark they could get. Or at least, he’d try.
By the time Oswald walked you to the janitorial closet—a tiny, forgotten room in the back of the lounge—he was already plotting how to keep you close. The closet was practically empty, a detail that normally wouldn’t bother him, but the way your face fell at the sight made him want to slap whoever was supposed to manage the damn place.
"Um… is this where I’m supposed to… work?" you asked softly, your voice unsure as you peeked into the empty closet. Your eyes darted around, taking in the barren shelves and dusty floor, as though you’d missed some hidden stash of supplies. "It just… doesn’t look ready yet?"
"Ah… this won’t do," he said quickly, covering his irritation with a smooth smile. "Looks like someone’s dropped the ball here. Don’t you worry about this, darlin’. I’ll get one of my guys on it—someone reliable. You’ll have everything you need to get started."
His tone was honeyed, and though he aimed for casual reassurance, his sharp eyes flickered to the shelves like he wanted to set the whole closet ablaze for offending you. For fuck’s sake.
“No, no, this won’t do at all,” Oswald said again, shaking his head and clucking his tongue like he was personally offended by the state of the janitorial closet. “You deserve better than this mess, darlin’. I’ll have it sorted by tomorrow, you have my word.”
You blinked at him, “If you want me on the job today, I can make something work,” you offered tentatively, gesturing toward the dusty shelves. “I’ve been in worse spots before.” You gave him a sheepish smile, trying to seem accommodating.
Cobblepot scoffed softly, waving a dismissive hand. “No, no, absolutely not. I won’t have my new employee starting off in such... subpar conditions. It’s a poor reflection on me, and I can’t have that, now can I?” He straightened his tie with an air of exaggerated importance before leaning on his cane. “Here’s what we’ll do instead. You take the night to get familiar with the Lounge—on the house, of course. Have some drinks, relax, mingle a bit. Consider it my way of welcoming you to the team.”
You blinked again, even more confused. “Oh, um, that’s really generous, but shouldn’t I, like… fill out some paperwork first? Or sign something?”
Oswald chuckled, a warm, low sound that almost made you feel silly for asking. “Paperwork? We’ll handle all that boring nonsense tomorrow. No need to rush into the dull parts of the job, eh?” He gestured toward the door, ushering you back into the main lounge. “For tonight, enjoy yourself. Swing by the bar, meet some of the staff, maybe say hello to the security team. It’s important to me that you feel comfortable at the Iceberg.”
You hesitated for a moment, unsure if this was some sort of test, but his expression was disarmingly sincere. “Well… if you’re sure…”
“Positive,” he interrupted, clapping a hand on your shoulder with surprising gentleness. “Now, off you go. The night’s young, and the Lounge is at your disposal.”
As you stepped out of the closet and back into the opulent main floor, you glanced over your shoulder to see him watching you with a smile that seemed too genuine for someone of his reputation. You didn’t know him, but you’d heard some things.
Unbeknownst to you, Cobblepot wasn’t just offering you free alcohol or a night to relax—he was staking his claim. He wanted you to feel at home, to see the Lounge as a safe haven, a place you’d always want to return to. Sure, there’d be paperwork eventually, but for now, the only thing that mattered was keeping you here, comfortable and unaware of the darker dealings hidden beneath the glamour.
Tim leaned back in his chair, toggling between the camera feeds inside the Iceberg Lounge. He was alone in the Batcave now, the others out on patrol in the city. “Well, there she is,” he muttered, zeroing in on his view of you at the bar. You were perched on a sleek barstool, your Gotham University sweater a stark contrast to the high-end fashion of the Lounge’s usual clientele. “She’s… drinking. A lot.”
Jason, freshly back from patrol—or what little of it he actually bothered to finish—sauntered into the Batcave, pulling off his helmet and setting it down with a thud. “That’s her?” he asked, nodding toward the screen.
“Yeah,” Tim replied without looking away. “You decided to show up?” His eyes flickered to the time down at the bottom of his monitor. "Thirty minutes early? B's not gonna be thrilled."
Jason ignored the jab, stepping closer to get a better look. “Huh,” he muttered, crossing his arms as his sharp eyes drank you in. You were laughing at something the bartender said, your cheeks flushed. You gestured animatedly with your glass while saying something they couldn't hear. “She doesn’t look like much.”
Tim raised an eyebrow, glancing up at Jason. “That’s what you cut patrol short for? To see her in person?”
Jason shrugged, his gaze fixed on you. “I was curious. Heard you and Damian going back and forth about her. Figured I’d check it out for myself.” His lips quirked into a faint smirk. “Didn’t expect her to be… this.”
Tim tilted his head. “This what?”
Jason gestured vaguely at the screen. “This… normal. Sweater, messy hair, drinking like she’s celebrating her midterms being over. Doesn’t scream ‘Iceberg Lounge material,’ y’know?”
Tim chuckled, toggling to another camera feed for a better angle. “That’s kind of the point. She thought she was interviewing for a janitorial position, Jason. Janitorial.”
Jason blinked, then snorted. “You’re kidding.”
“Wish I was,” Tim said, leaning back in his chair. “She walked in there with a résumé—an actual paper résumé—and asked about cleaning floors or whatever. Cobblepot probably laughed his ass off before offering her a drink.”
“He’s footing the bill by the way,” Tim added, toggling to a feed that showed the Penguin subtly watching you from across the room as he conversed with some guests. “She hasn’t reached for her wallet once. He’s just… letting her.”
Jason’s eyes narrowed as he studied the Penguin’s expression. There was no malice there yet, no obvious scheme in motion. Instead, Cobblepot looked almost… satisfied, like he was pleased with what he was seeing. “The hell’s his angle?” Jason muttered, his top lip curling in disgust at the possibilities.
“No idea,” Tim replied. “But if I had to guess? He’s trying to butter her up. Make her think the Lounge is a safe place, keep her happy and oblivious while he decides what to do with her.”
Jason scoffed, leaning back against the console.”She won’t last a week.”
Tim smirked. “You’re awfully invested for someone who just met her. Maybe you should prep a care package.”
“I didn’t meet her,” Jason shot back, though his eyes flicked back to the screen almost involuntarily. “I’m just saying, someone needs to give her a reality check before she gets eaten alive.”
“Maybe,” Tim said, watching as you swayed slightly to the music, chatting with another patron who’d joined you at the bar. “But she doesn’t look like she’s in danger. Yet.”
Jason grunted, pushing off the console and grabbing his helmet. “Yeah, well, I’m keeping an eye on this one. If Penguin tries anything, I’m ending it.”
Tim raised an eyebrow. “Oh, so now you’re helping? Didn’t you just skip the last half of your patrol?”
Jason smirked as he turned toward the exit. “Hey, monitoring Gotham’s underworld is part of the job, isn’t it? I’m just doing my part.”
Tim shook his head with a laugh as Jason disappeared up the stairs. “Sure you are.”
Back on the screen, you were oblivious to the scrutiny, to the way the curiosities of Gotham's vigilantes were beginning to blossom into something more.
#yandere jason todd#romantic batfam#romantic yandere#romantic yandere batfam#yandere batfam#x reader#fanfic#reader insert#imagines#romantic batman#yandere batman#yandere oswald cobblepot#yandere oswald#yandere cobblepot#yandere gotham#poly yandere#poly batfam#yandere red hook#yandere red robin#yandere the penguin#yandere robin#yandere bruce wayne
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There's been a lot of discussion lately about when will Eddie come out and when Buddie canon will happen. I think a lot more people are feeling optimistic that it actually will happen now so the conversation has shifted into people being worried how this is all going to play out. I've seen people saying that if Eddie comes out and Buddie is fully confirmed this season (i.e. they confess their feelings/ there's a kiss) that would be way too fast. I have some issues with that line of thinking though.
For starters after Buck came out in season 7 we had a lot of new people join fandom (even more join during the summer hiatus), which I'm glad for all the new people who have found 911 particularly because the majority are now rooting for Buddie. Still I feel like a lot of the newer fan's opinions (on this topic) are being heard over some of us who have been in fandom for years.
I'm not saying if you're a newbie that your opinions on the show don't matter but I do think you should take the time to listen to those of us who have been around longer. The fact is if us long time Buddie fans hadn't been rooting for this ship for years we wouldn't even be as close to them becoming canon as we are. Buck likely wouldn't have had his bi awakening if not for us either. We've supported the show and pushed them for years to give these characters the storylines they deserve. That should matter when you're talking about something like how and when Buddie canon will happen.
I understand that people want Buddie to get together in just the right way but I think we all need to realize there is no one right way this will happen. We need to make peace now before it happens that there will be things about them coming together we won't expect even things we may not exactly like. All that matters is they finally get to take their relationship to that next level. That both Buck and Eddie get to realize their person their soulmate has always been right beside them. The other mains have had their person for years it's beyond time for Buck and Eddie to (consciously fully) have that too.
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I've seen people say that Eddie deserves a long journey to figuring out his sexuality and he needs to work on his mental health before being with Buck. And while I do think Eddie deserves more focus and screen time I don't see 911 doing a long drawn out thing with him. 911 typically does smaller 1-3 ep arcs for their characters. There's also the fact that they've been dropping hints for Eddie's coming out these past two seasons. Ones I'm positive they will connect back to other things throughout the series, like why it never worked out with him in his relationships with women.
I'm also personally not a fan of the logic that someone needs to do all these things to change themselves to be ready for love. Buck and Eddie have seen each other through their best and their worst. The show has literally made it a point to tell you that's what love is on numerous occasions. They said that love is about stepping into someone's mess with them. Why is it that Bobby didn't need to be a perfect person before he was worthy of Athena's love? Go back and watch season 1 Bobby was not in a good place when they got together. He was getting better but he was still struggling and up until the end of the season was still thinking about ending his life. But we see Athena "step into the mess" with him. She starts by going to church with him and we see them in s2 (early on in their relationship) talk about his past at different times.
I just feel like this fandom sometimes holds Eddie to unfair standards. He's been struggling for the past couple of seasons but I honestly think we're going to find out in 8b that it's connected to him having not felt able to live his truth. We saw in 806 that Eddie is starting to embrace joy and taking steps to fully be himself. That he's starting even in small ways to take ownership of what he wants and doing things for himself not because he feels obligated to.
I think him going back to Texas is not just to get Chris but the shows way of giving him a rebirth of sorts. They're bringing him back to where he's from and it's where I think Eddie is going to realize who he is and what he wants (Buck) and that him and Chris don't belong in Texas they belong in LA with Buck and the rest of their found family. And this time Eddie will get to make the decision to leave not based on fear or desperation or running away from his life but based on knowing where he truly belongs.
I know there's also a worry that if Eddie comes out in 8b it will feel rushed but the length of the story being told shouldn't be the main concern it should be how well the show tells it.
They could have him realize his feelings for Buck (because I do think him figuring out his sexuality is going to be tied to that) while he's still in Texas. That could be one whole episode just Eddie (like they did for Bobby in s7) or have it play out over a few eps. Then Eddie comes home and Buddie canon happens by the end of s8. I also feel like people are forgetting we have quite a few eps for 8b left to go so it's not like Eddie coming out and Buddie canon are both going to happen in 1 or 2 eps right after the other. It's very likely Eddie realizing his feelings will happen earlier and Buddie canon will happen in one of the last eps of the season.
Also even if they have Eddie come out in one ep that doesn't mean it's the end of him ever talking about his sexuality or facing any struggles with it. We haven't seen Buck facing much struggle when it comes to his sexuality but I think it will be different with Eddie. Even if Buddie officially get together in s8 in s9 we could still see things like Eddie having mixed feelings over being out especially when it comes to stuff like pda. Maybe we could even see Eddie talking to the priest again. Eddie coming out and Buddie canon happening doesn't mean it's the end of Eddie's sexuality journey it's just the beginning.
Like I said before we need to make peace that every part of these stories isn't going to make everyone happy but I think the last thing we should be doing when Eddie comes out and Buddie canon happens is look for reasons to criticize the show for how it happens. They will inevitably receive hate from bummys and people who will accuse them of making the show too gay. We can't add to that by complaining that a storyline didn't happen in a perfect way. If they actually finally go there with these characters we need to celebrate the show and be louder with our praise than any bs they'll get.
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On the subject of Buddie I've seen people say that if they confess their feelings for one another by the end of 8b it will feel rushed that the general audience won't get what's happening because the show hasn't set the groundwork for their relationship. I feel like I'm seeing this argument more from newer fans which I guess makes sense because to you it probably does seem like everything is moving fast. But for those of us who have watched Buck and Eddie's relationship develop over years and years this has all been a long long time coming in fact it's beyond overdue.
Some of you need to remember that Buck was supposed to come out in s4 (the shooting was likely to be the catalyst to him realizing his feelings for Eddie) and Eddie in s5 which means Buddie canon was likely to happen that same season. How can s8 be too soon when they were supposed to get together three seasons ago? They have literally been through almost everything Madney and Bathena have been through or some variation thereof. If Buck and Eddie were a straight couple they would have been married already. Buck and Eddie have spent 7 years building their relationship. Building a life and family together. Them finally admitting they're in love with each other is simply the natural progression their relationship should be taking from best friends (that have always been more than friends) to lovers. I think another reason people question if it's too fast for this to happen in s8 is because a queer couple like this has never happened on a show like 911 before. There's been plenty of slow burn straight couples. Which is why I'm positive if Buck and Eddie were a guy and a girl there wouldn't be this big debate over if it should happen now, people would be saying what the hell is this show even doing? Why haven't they kissed already?
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A big point about all of this that I feel like is being left out of the discussions is that 911 is made in the US and is first and foremost made for US audiences. I bring this up because as someone who is from the states it's very apparent there's a huge uprising of anti lgbtq rhetoric and legislation here right now. I know it probably seems unfathomable to some people that the US government could do something like ban lgbtq people from TV but there's already been pushes to ban things like lgbtq books on a state level so it could happen. But what is more likely is networks and companies have already started to capitulate to trump to protect themselves and their money. We have no way of knowing how bad things will continue to get with trump and how a network like ABC will behave in the future. We don't have the luxury to sit back and say let's wait until s9 or 10 for Buddie to officially get together when there's no certainty of what will even be happening in the US by the time those seasons are made.
Connected to that same topic of what's going on not just in the US but in other countries too. This attack on lgbtq rights means it's more important than ever for Buddie to finally be together. I know that 911 has always had queer characters and ships and they should always be respected for the important representation they've given on the show since day one (particularly characters like Henren and their family) but Buck and Eddie are ground breaking in a way we really haven't seen on TV before. Two men who are best friends and who have come out later in life. Who have fallen for each other over years of building their relationship. Who have spent years raising their son together. Who are an interracial couple. Buck and Eddie in a loving relationship together as a family with Chris is vital representation the world needs to see right now. That lgbtq people need to see. We need to see more depictions of queer joy in the face of all of this hate.
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I see people keep pushing back the time frame of when Buddie should officially get together when we were in s7 people were saying s8 now I've seen them say s9, I've even seen some people recently say s10. I need some of you to realize 911 is a network TV show and that this isn't the golden age of TV anymore. TV shows get canceled left and right sometimes for no reason at all. 911 itself was canceled from Fox after s6 not because no one was watching it but because Fox felt it was too expensive to make. 911 is a super successful show one that will likely go on to it's 9th season and that's an amazing thing when a lot of shows now barely even make it past like two seasons. But because 911 is so many seasons in and is so costly not just to make but also for the cast that means there's always a risk that it could get canceled again. I hope that 911 goes on for at least 10 more seasons but we can't guarantee that at all. The more we push Buddie back the more we run the risk of them not happening at all.
The other thing is I don't want Buddie canon happening at the end of their last season. I want to see how Buck and Eddie's relationship develops and changes once they're officially together. I want to see all the good and bad stuff they go through like moving in together and telling everyone (especially Chris). I want to see how their parents react. How that changes things for them at work. They deserve to have an epic love story just as grand as any of the other main couples have had.
To add to the point of us not knowing how long the show may go on for we also have no idea how long all of the actors plan to stay with the show. I'm not sure how long the contracts they've all signed are for at this point but they've all been with the show a very long time. It's clear they all love working together and I can't see any of them giving that up right now but that could change. We're lucky that Oliver and Ryan have continued to stay with the show after this many years but we can't guarantee they will stay forever. Eventually they could want to go off and work on something else or just get tired of playing the same character. The fact is everything is in the right place at the right time for Buddie canon to happen now. It has to happen now or it may not happen at all.
Also as much as some of you want them to drag out Buck and Eddie getting together I think you underestimate how long the fanbase is willing to hang on for. Like I said some of us have been waiting for Buddie to happen for years we're tired. I almost stopped watching the show after s6 I was that fed up with how they handled things. I'm positive if something doesn't change by the end of s8 that there are people who will stop watching.
I know some have said they want to see Buck and Eddie realizing their feelings and going into s9 pinning. I don't think the show needs to drag out their will they/won't they any longer. I've seen some people say well Buddie hasn't really had a will they/won't they because it wasn't explicit in the show. Buck and Eddie have never been written as just friends. Go compare them to Chim and Hen's friendship. There has always been more there between them always. Again if this was a straight couple people would be complaining constantly wondering why they weren't together yet. They don't have to be kissing for it to be a slow burn. They've done everything but though. I mean what do you call that scene in the kitchen in 3x09? Eddie literally put Buck in his will. He told Buck he trusts him above anyone else with Chris. Buck sobbed when he knew Eddie was going to be okay after he was shot (he's never reacted that way over anyone else on the show getting hurt). Eddie counted the seconds when Buck wasn't breathing. These two men love one another they just haven't admitted it yet.
We don't need more time to tell this story. 911 hasn't always gotten it right (see the weird Vertigo story) but when it's good it can be fcking amazing. The shooting eps are some of my fav eps of tv ever and not just of 911. I have faith in Tim and the show. Tim has wanted to put Buck and Eddie together for a long time and I know he knows he only has one chance to tell this story and get it right. I have faith that him and the actors and writers will do the story justice however it gets told. I know they know it means a lot to so many people. And you know the truth is we're lucky that our ship is even at this point. That we can all debate about how Buddie canon should happen because we're all so sure now that it is in fact happening. Cause the show was very close to ending on a finale that had Buck and Eddie ending up with other partners. Buddie would have only been able to continue to live on in fanon. Instead I truly believe we are months away from the show making history.
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i have multiple and im going to mention all of them but im starting with THIS FUCKER HERE (blade from honkai star rail) AND I HAVE A VERY STUPID REASON FOR IT
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there was an minigame thing with a character named march 7th (dont ask) and there were little events you could encounter throughout it and one of them was that you had to choose between a red and blue pill (or the third option of giving a nonanswer) and since my choice didnt matter at all i went with the red pill because i know that the matrix is a transfem allegory and i also hc march as transfem but then another character made a little comment that blade would ALSO pick the red pill which completely makes sense for his character but since i was still on the transfem allegory mindset i had the thought of "wait does this make blade transfem??" so shes transfem to me now 👍
estrogen would NOT save her. not even REMOTELY. he's a suicidal immortal who physically cannot die because of a ritual his old friend-with-romantic-implications tried who he now wants dead more than anything else. hes basically possessed by evil plants that revive him every time he dies and he goes fucking feral. hes a mass murderer with a bounty of over 8 billion. nothing can save him. but transitioning might make her miserable life slightly more manageable? plus i mean.. throwing your old name away and being a new person? obviously a metaphor for being trans /j
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boothill! this is slightly for shipping reasons (turning a het ship wlw for funzies) but mostly projecting my gender-nonconforming transness onto the only southern disabled character i know of. are we different kinds of southern? yes. are we different kinds of disabled? also yes. do i care? absolutely not. (also because butch southern women make the world go round)
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also sampo because the idea that this fuck is a cisgender ANYTHING is laughable. this is a nonbinary transfem boymoding for shits and giggles who randomly switches to the girl voice when talking to someone JUST to fuck with them because nobody else would believe them and the person would think theyre losing it. typical masked fool stuff. gaslight gatekeep girlboss.
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and then from genshin impact: zhongli. who has CANONICALLY used shapeshifting to become a woman. and has likely done so on more than one occasion. this guy is CANONICALLY GENDERFLUID WHETHER PEOPLE LIKE IT OR NOT. and you can obviously be genderfluid and transfem at the same time so why the hell not :D
most other characters i hc as transfem i dont have much of a reason for, but im gonna list them anyways cause hell yeah
argenti (hsr) - she can have a little estrogen as a treat
dr. ratio (hsr) - no reason i just think it could work
sunday (hsr) - something something religious-trauma-and-giving-into-what-you-once-believed-to-be-sinful
diluc (genshin) - fanfiction on ao3 changed my brain chemistry
kazuha (genshin) - also no reason i just think it fits
sebastian solace (a game on roblox called pressure) - im gonna be honest with you op, i just like putting this fucker in situations. and i would love to see the struggle of medically transitioning when you've been forcibly had your body and dna altered to the point of no longer being human. even ignoring for a few seconds the thought that maybe hrt wouldnt have the same effect (or any effect at all) due to the experiments, how could you will yourself to alter yourself medically in any way after the horrific trauma you've experienced? its between fucking with your already fucked up body or having the dysphoria kill you from the inside out. i am rotating her in my mind even harder now.
p.ai.nter (from same game) on the other hand? a lot simpler. make the ai with guns a girl. also just a funny idea: you know that "put eyelashes on it to make it obvious that its a girl" thing? yeah. painter doing that.
^ TELL ME SHE WOULDNT.
i would apologize for the essay but you did say i was legally required to share so this is your fault /lh
anyways i hope you enjoyed the women
If you see this post you’re legally required to tell me at least one trans woman headcanons you have for a canonically male character, I never get to see transfem headcanons like that, give me them, and for equality of my own please know estrogen could have saved Insector Haga and Dinosaur Ryuzaki I will not elaborate, also Yuya.
#i foind fishe :))))))#<- my sebastian solace tag because not everyone wants to see 50 fanart posts of this guy on their dash in the span of 5 minutes#long post#id in alt text
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In defense of MelJay
I just need to say this…SHUT UP! Yall are all tap dancing on my last nerve.I’m am at my wits end with this fandom. Every time I think we take one step forward some dufus pushes us two steps back.
Okay. I’m arguing with a JayVik shipper on TikTok who says MelJay is boring and toxic. I am about to explode this shit can’t still be the main conversation about this ship.
So first off MelJay is “boring”. This isn’t unique to JayVik nor is it the first time someone has said this about MelJay, but I always find it weird when people say certain ships are boring. The ships in question are usually just chill and communicative so there is no needless drama. This probably relates more to online fandoms’ obsession with romanticizing toxicity but I digress. It’s weird that the tension and political intrigue,something of which yall claim to love about the show overall, is in someway boring. The fact they are not constantly arguing or disregarding each other was nice cause I hate that those interactions are normalized in fandom in regard to romantic ships. If one of them had something to say then they would just say it and they would discuss it and move on like a normal couple. There is a lot to digest with them though as separate characters and as a couple. While Mel and Jayce are similar they obviously are not exactly alike. Mel it’s a lot more closed off and tempered and Jayce is more emotionally open and is hot headed. Both want to do good and have enough ambition to do so. It is their methods that differentiate them. Mel is more comfortable working behind the scenes whereas Jayce runs head first. These little differences offers up moments of character growth for both these characters. Mel started to become more aggressive (she was never docile) in her emotions and tactics where Jayce became more level headed.
The second one is that they are toxic. I’m going to keep this part short cause I already addressed this multiple times on this tumblr, so I’ll just bring up my highlights. Mel was not manipulating Jayce throughout their whole relationship. The only times where we see her manipulations is with Hoskel , but f him who cares about that man, and Jayce during progress day when they weren’t even together and Viktor wanted Jayce to do the same thing Mel was asking him to do. He didn’t even listen to her either. Mel and Jayce were genuinely attracted to one another so no she didn’t eventually fall for him she liked him from the first kiss. After a certain point we must recognize that Jayce was coming to Mel for advice and she gave it. Whether he listened to her or not. The investment line, an investment to Mel is not the same as investment to Jayce. An investment to Mel is like an action word. She invested in Hextech cause she genuinely believed in Jayce and Viktors ability to do good and she wanted to help similar to how a parent invest in their child, not because they think they’ll get something in return but because they love and believe in their kid. Jayce knows that, hence why he apologized for insinuating otherwise.
A lot of the so called toxicity the fandom claims they see is cause no one is meaningfully engaging with Mel or Jayce as characters but are just trying to get them to work in whatever ship they see fit.
Listen at the end of the day ship who you want but how you ship is gonna get your critiqued. For the love of anything that’s holy engage with the characters as their own separate entities. Your ships will thank you for it.
Ps I doubt this will be the last time some one will piss me off about Mel, Jayce or their relationship but I’m trying to keep this page more happy, for a lack of better words,so I’m trying not to rant to much. I got one more though. It’ll be way shorter though.
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I love bed Chem and the follow up!! I’d love to see them bump into each other outside of hook up times - like they’re both in the same coffee shop…and a cute barista is flirting with reader…and Bucky suddenly feels possessive when he sees it happening from across the shop but can’t say anything as they’re just hook up buds and it’s not his place to be jealous 🤭
Even Better Than In My Head
Characters/Pairings: Bucky Barnes x curvy!Millennial female!reader Word Count: 2.9k Summary: Hooking up with Bucky Barnes in the middle of the night has scratched the itch whenever you're craving between your legs, but crossing paths with the man out in the wild in normal life? Much more dangerous than you could have guessed.
Content Warnings: modern AU, hook up culture/bootycall, established sexual relationship
Author Notes: This is a follow-up to Parking Lot Chem and Camaraderie.
Logistical Notes: My first fill for @buckyboybingo (Gym) and my ninth bit for Valentine Storygrams!
↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
“This entire table is a masterpiece!” your sister exclaims, thoroughly impressed and overjoyed. “I seriously owe you!”
“You do!” you chide. “You owe me many, many favors.”
“I’d promise my first-born, but that ship has already sailed!” she replies, gesturing at her daughter - your niece - who is currently engaged in some sort of statue tag game with a gaggle of other children her age.
“I’m serious, though. You know you absolutely saved me.”
"I know," you say, waving off her gratitude with a smile. "That's what sisters are for, right?"
You both turn to survey the booth, a riot of pink and red decorations adorning every surface. Heart-shaped cookies, cupcakes with swirling frosting rosettes, raspberry-lemon bars, and delicate palmiers drizzled with white chocolate and heart-shaped sprinkles cover the table in neat, enticing rows.
"Seriously, though," your sister continues, lowering her voice, "this could make or break my campaign for PTA president. The entire board is here, and they're all watching to see how this goes."
You nod, remembering the frantic phone call you'd received two nights ago.
Your sister's voice had been a mix of panic and exhaustion as she explained how her usually angelic toddler had decided to test out his superhero abilities by leaping off the kitchen counter. The result? A nasty gash that required a trip to urgent care and several stitches. But to make matters worse, she’d only been so distracted to allow the failed test-flight of her two-year-old because she’d been trying to figure out why her oven would turn on, but refused to heat up past 180 degrees - nowhere near close enough to take care of her baking needs.
So you agreed - or offered, you really don’t quite remember how this part of the conversation went at this point - to take care of making all the baked goods.
“Couldn't let my favorite sister crash and burn at the Valentine's Day bake sale, could I?"
"I'm your only sister, you goof," she retorts with a laugh. "But again, thank you. I don't know what I would have done without you."
As you're about to respond, your sister's eyes suddenly widen, and a sly grin spreads across her face. She leans in close, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Speaking of paying you back, I think I'm about to start right now."
You follow her gaze across the crowded gymnasium, your curiosity piqued. Through the sea of parents and children, a tall figure is making his way towards your booth. As he draws closer, you can't help but notice how he seems to part the crowd effortlessly, his presence commanding yet somehow warm.
"See that absolutely gorgeous man heading our way?" your sister murmurs, her excitement palpable. "That's Aiden Hartley. He's a single dad, a widower, and practically the perfect gentleman."
You try to maintain your composure as Aiden approaches, but it's difficult not to stare. He's easily over six feet with a build that suggests he's no stranger to the gym. His short blonde hair catches the light, looking almost golden under the fluorescent glare of the school's overhead lighting. Even from a distance, you can see his eyes - a striking shade of green that reminds you of summer leaves.
As Aiden reaches your booth, a warm smile spreads across his face. Your heart skips a beat.
"Ladies," he greets you both, his voice deep and smooth. "I have to say, this spread looks absolutely incredible."
Your sister jumps in, "Oh, it's all thanks to my amazing sister here! Aiden, you haven’t met her yet, but she's the baking genius."
Aiden's gaze returns to you, a spark of interest in those mesmerizing green eyes. "Is that so? Well, I'm thoroughly impressed. I'm Carter’s dad, by the way, he’s in the same class as your niece." He extends his hand.
You introduce yourself, hoping your palm isn't too sweaty as you shake his hand. His grip is firm but gentle, and you can't help but notice how your hand seems to fit very nicely into his.
"So, what would you recommend?" Aiden asks, gesturing to the array of sweets.
“I’d like one of the cupcakes,” the last voice you’re expecting to hear interrupts from just behind you, and you whip around to find yourself face to face with Bucky, the man who has been regularly - if intermittently - wrecking you sexually.
What on earth is he doing here?
Not only is he here, he’s looking devastatingly handsome in a dark blue button-down and jeans. Your breath catches in your throat as memories of your late-night encounter flood your mind.
"One of the chocolate ones," Bucky drawls, his eyes roaming over the baked goods before settling on you with a heated gaze. "Is that a strawberry buttercream on top?"
“Mhmm,” you manage to nod, throat completely dry, brain trying to figure out how to function.
You’re not supposed to be seeing this man in the light of day - does not compute, does not compute.
"Looks like someone's been busy in the kitchen," he adds.
Your sister, oblivious to the tension crackling between you and Bucky, beams at him. "Yes! Isn't it amazing? My sister made everything here."
Bucky's lips curl into a smirk. "Is that so? You’re clearly skilled with your hands - the piping on this frosting is flawless,” he says, handing cash to your sister in exchange for one of the cupcakes.
He brings the treat to his nose, inhaling deeply, his eyes never leaving yours. "Smells divine," he murmurs, voice low enough that only you can hear. Then, with a wink that makes your knees weak, he turns and strides away, weaving through the crowd with the same effortless grace that brought him to your booth. His confident stride draws more than a few appreciative glances from the other parents.
Your sister nudges you with her elbow, breaking you out of your daze. "See, I told you you're too modest with your baking skills," she whispers excitedly. "Bucky Barnes is usually a man of few words, and he dropped plenty just now."
You nod absently, still reeling from Bucky's sudden appearance and the way he'd looked at you. Your mind races, trying to process the conflicting emotions swirling within you. On one hand, there's the familiar spark of desire that Bucky always ignites. On the other, there's a new, tentative flutter of interest as you glance back at Aiden, who's patiently waiting with a warm smile.
Your sister, ever the matchmaker, seamlessly steers the conversation back to Aiden. "So, Aiden, you were asking about recommendations?" She gives you a subtle but pointed look.
You clear your throat. "Right. Well, the raspberry-lemon bars are a personal favorite. They've got just the right balance of sweet and tart."
Aiden's eyes light up. "That sounds perfect. I'll take two, please." As your sister boxes up his order, he turns back to you. "So, do you bake professionally? These look like they could be in a high-end bakery."
You laugh, shaking your head. "Oh no, it's just a hobby. I work in marketing, actually."
"Well, you certainly have a talent for it," Aiden says, his smile warm and genuine. "I can’t wait to try these,” he adds, holding up his box.
As you're about to respond to Aiden's compliment, your sister suddenly gasps and slaps her forehead dramatically. "Oh no! I completely forgot!" She turns to you with an exaggerated look of distress. "The PTA was supposed to set up the face-painting station, but I just realized we left all the supplies in my car!"
You raise an eyebrow, sensing the poorly disguised matchmaking attempt, but play along. "Oh, that's not good. You'd better go take care of that."
Your sister nods vigorously, already backing away from the booth. "Absolutely! Can't have disappointed kids on Valentine's Day!" She pauses, then turns to Aiden with a look of calculated innocence. "Aiden, I hate to impose, but would you mind helping my sister man the booth until I get back? It shouldn't take more than fifteen or twenty minutes.”
Aiden’s eyes flash to you, gleaming with amusement, clearly recognizing your sister's ploy for what it is, but he plays along anyway. "Of course! I'd be more than happy to lend a hand... or take an order or two," he jokes, winking at you.
Your cheeks flush a with heat, but you’re not totally unhappy with her shenanigans.
Your sister rushes off and Aiden takes her place behind the table. As the two of you settle into a rhythm working the table, you can't help but feel a spark of connection. His easy smile and warm demeanor put you at ease, and soon you're chatting effortlessly about everything from your shared love of books to your favorite local restaurants.
"So, marketing, huh?" Aiden asks during a lull. "What kind of projects do you work on?"
You launch into a brief explanation of your latest campaign, surprised at how easily the conversation flows. Aiden listens attentively, asking insightful questions that show he's genuinely interested. His green eyes sparkle with intelligence, and you find yourself drawn in by his charm.
"That sounds fascinating," he says, leaning in slightly. "I'd love to hear more about it sometime. Maybe over coffee?"
Your heart flutters at the invitation, but before you can respond, your eyes are inexplicably drawn across the crowded gymnasium. Through the sea of parents and children, you spot Bucky leaning against the far wall.
He's standing slightly apart from the crowd, his presence both magnetic and aloof. The sleeves of his dark blue plaid shirt are rolled up to his elbows, revealing the corded muscles of his forearms. His hair, usually disheveled when you see him, is neatly combed back into a bun, accentuating the sharp angles of his jaw.
As if sensing your gaze, Bucky's eyes lock with yours from across the room. A slow, knowing smile spreads across his face as he brings the cupcake to his lips. You watch, transfixed, as he takes a deliberate bite, his eyes never leaving yours.
The chocolate cake yields easily, and a smear of pink frosting clings to his upper lip. Your mouth goes dry as you watch his tongue dart out, slowly and purposefully licking away the sweet confection.
The sight sends a jolt of electricity through your body, igniting a fire low in your belly. Memories of that same tongue exploring your most intimate places flood your mind. You can almost feel the ghost of it and press your legs together.
Suddenly aware that you've been staring, you snap your attention back to Aiden, who's looking at you expectantly. You realize he's still waiting for an answer about coffee.
"Oh, um, yes," you stammer, trying to regain your composure. "Coffee sounds great."
Aiden's face lights up with a warm smile. "Wonderful! How about this Saturday?"
You nod, pushing thoughts of Bucky to the back of your mind. "Saturday works for me."
As you exchange numbers with Aiden, you can't help but feel a mix of excitement and guilt. Excitement at the prospect of getting to know this kind, handsome man better. Guilt because you know that no matter how charming Aiden is, a part of you is still thinking about Bucky and the raw, primal energy between you.
About how he probably would have no problem dragging you away to his car and fucking you in the parking lot right now.
You think that’s something Aiden would never do .
The rest of the bake sale passes in good conversation with Aiden, chatting between customers and stealing glances at each other when you think the other isn't looking. You learn that he's an architect, specializing in sustainable design, and his passion for his work is evident in the way his eyes light up as he describes his latest project.
"It's a community center," he explains, his hands moving animatedly as he speaks. "We're incorporating solar panels, rainwater harvesting systems, and even a rooftop garden. The goal is to create a space that not only serves the community but also educates them about sustainable living."
You find yourself genuinely interested, asking questions about the design process and the challenges he faces. As you listen, you can't help but appreciate how different this interaction is from your usual encounters with Bucky. With Aiden, there's a warmth, a sense of connection that’s so natural.
But your gaze drifts regularly to Bucky. Bucky has become attached to a young boy who looks to be about six years old. The resemblance between them is striking – the same strong jawline, the same chestnut brown hair. They grin and laugh together, Bucky follows him around to the face painting, a craft station, poses with him in the photo booth.
All you have ever shared with Bucky is sex. The two of you had given next to no time to small talk even in the first few days of messaging on the hook up app and in your first meet up. You had both made it clear you used each other for sex and didn’t want anything else from the connection.
As the bake sale winds down, your sister finally returns, apologizing profusely for needing to cover the face painting instead of helping at the booth. She winks at you when Aiden isn't looking, clearly pleased with her efforts. Aiden continues to linger, helping to fold up the tablecloth and carry boxes.
This morning you were thoroughly single, no need or with to do much to be otherwise. But now you find yourself torn between two very different men. Aiden, with his warm smile and gentle demeanor, represents the possibility of a genuine connection, of building something meaningful. Your conversation flows easily, and you can't deny the flutter in your chest when he laughs at your jokes.
But then there's Bucky. Your attention drawn back to him over and over, watching as he had interacted with the young boy who must be his son. It's a side of him you've never seen before, and it stirs something unexpected within you. The tenderness in his eyes as he looks at his child is a stark contrast to the raw intensity you're used to seeing when he looks at you.
As you and Aiden start packing up the remaining baked goods, Bucky approaches your booth once more. This time, the little boy is with him, clinging to his hand and looking up at you with wide, curious eyes.
"Hey," Bucky says, his voice smooth and charming. "We wanted to grab a few more treats before you packed up." His eyes flick to Aiden, then back to you, a flash of something - possessiveness? jealousy? - passing over his face.
"Of course," you manage, brightening your voice as you direct your attention to the small boy. "What would you like?"
The little boy tugs on Bucky's hand, pointing at the heart-shaped cookies. "Can I have those, Daddy?"
Your heart does a little flip at hearing Bucky called 'Daddy'. It's such a stark contrast to the Bucky you know - the one who whispers filthy things in your ear as he pounds into you.
"Sure thing, buddy. How about we get a few to take home for later?" Bucky suggests, his voice gentle as he speaks to his son.
You can't help but smile at the interaction as you carefully package up a half dozen of the heart-shaped cookies. As you hand the box to Bucky, your fingers brush against his, sending a whoosh of butterflies through your stomach. His eyes lock with yours, dark and intense, before he glances meaningfully at Aiden.
"Thanks," Bucky says, his voice low. "These look delicious. I'm sure they taste even better than they look." The double meaning in his words is clear, and you feel a flush creeping up your neck.
"I hope you enjoy them," you manage to reply, your voice slightly breathless.
As Bucky turns to leave, his son looks up at you with a shy smile. "Thank you for the treats!”
"You're very welcome, young man," you reply, smiling warmly at the little boy. As they walk away, you can't help but watch Bucky's retreating form, admiring the way his shirt clings to his broad shoulders.
You and Aiden finish packing up the last of the baked goods, and he helps you carry the boxes to your car.
"So, about Saturday," he says as you close the trunk. "There's this great little café downtown that does this stuffed french toast that will send you to heaven. How does that sound?”
You smile at Aiden, genuinely excited about the prospect of getting to know him better. "That sounds wonderful," you reply. "I love a good french toast."
As you exchange details for your upcoming date, you can't help but feel a mix of anticipation and guilt. Aiden is everything you should want - kind, intelligent, and clearly interested in more than just a physical relationship. Yet, as you watch him walk away, your mind drifts back to Bucky.
Later that night, as you're getting ready for bed, your phone buzzes with a text. Your heart races as you see Bucky's name on the screen.
BUCKY: Those cookies were delicious. But not as sweet as your cunt.
You bite your lip, torn between responding and ignoring the message. Before you can decide, another text comes through.
BUCKY: I'm in the neighborhood. Have any of that frosting left?
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↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
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#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#buckyboybingo2025#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x yn#aspen wrote something#female reader#bed chem bucky#aspen's valentine storygrams
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Michael Afton Headcanons
Just a fun headcanon dump to get into the writing mood :) These are super random though. I think I'm possessed.
Mike is a huge pirate fan. He wanted to be a pirate until he was 8 (which is when he wanted to be an astronaut).
His favorite food is lasagna (his mom's is the best).
He's super tall and has always been super tall. The coach ran him down to play basketball his sophomore year of high school.
He's been working for his dad since he was seven. By the time he's in high school, he can basically run any shift by himself.
His best classes in high school are gym, physics and art class.
He would eat at least two full boxes of pizza per day, if he were allowed to.
He's really good at all of their arcade games. His highest score is in Pac-Man, though.
He's super scared of heights.
He went to a British primary school in London before his dad moved back to Utah when he was 6.
He "learned" how to play the electric guitar when he was fourteen. "Learned" is doing a lot of heavy lifting, because he can only read tab and really only learned riffs and some easy AC/DC songs.
Somehow, he's still able to impress people, even though he is clearly just abusing a whammy bar.
He plays basketball, football and baseball. He likes sports because he means he's home less.
He really likes cars a lot. He suped up his truck's engine when he was 16 and has almost wrecked it in races with other high schoolers multiple times. But car stuff is how he bonds with William, Henry and Ralph.
He's been smoking since he was 11. William doesn't really care, as long as he doesn't steal his.
He spends a lot of time taking over house activities for his mom, when she's too tired to get out of bed. This has made him a pretty good cook, though.
He's kind of a cool guy in school, but he's sort of seen as a 'bad kid' and a 'huge asshole', so he's definitely got a smaller group of friends. This is fine, because he's kind of a loner anyway.
He gets pretty good grades, except for in English class (he has dyslexia).
He has a pretty huge crush on Maria Rodriguez. He embarrasses himself to try and impress her a lot.
When he was thirteen, he broke his arm wrestling the school security guard to impress a girl. His friends have not let him live this down.
When he was fifteen, he drove into the school's gym while trying to show his friends a sick car trick over the weekend. His father has yet to let him live this down.
He and William fight a lot. I mean, most of the time. But they're kind of similar people, with similar senses of humor and some overlapping interests, so sometimes they can have friendly conversations with each other.
Mike likes gossiping with his Aunt Vangie (Henry's wife) and his mom.
When he was fourteen, he made up a game of throwing up lawn darts and having the neighborhood kids catch them. This was stopped after a few too many close calls.
He also made a game of rolling kids down hills in tractor tires. This was only stopped after he got bored of it.
He's the kind of guy that punches wholes in the dry wall.
He used to BMX, but Chip is way better at it, so he gave that dream up because he hates being one-upped by his own posse.
He doodles sometimes in class. He likes to impress girls by drawing them. He also likes trying the Fazbear band. A lot.
Foxy is his favorite animatronic. He ships him with Chica.
He rough-houses with Evan and Elizabeth. A lot.
This includes farting on their heads and forces them to smell his arm pit.
He cackles.
He's a cool guy, so he sneaks out to go to parties a lot.
Sometimes this means stealing William's nice cars, which he will always end up regretting.
He likes watching soaps with his mom.
He's the best of all his siblings of picking up his room.
His room is full of posters of hot supermodels and Playboy models, by the way.
He's given all of the animatronics personalities. Bonnie's is the malevolent, in his view.
He's very violent and gets into physical fights with others a lot.
Big undiagnosed bipolar disorder energy.
He chews gum all the time. Literally all the time. It's very annoying.
He had a Mormon baby blessing, but he was never baptized.
He gets invited to church activities sometimes. People almost always regret it.
He dresses in the more general, 80s rock 'n' roll, hair metal style, but he is a goth rock lover.
His middle name is James.
He smokes weed sometimes. But he mostly just drinks.
His mom's parents live in Virgin. He doesn't visit them that often, even though they're kind of close, because William is embarrassed to be associated with them. He is the oldest of their grandchildren, though. (Teen pregnancy things.)
He was sent to a pretty extensive psychiatric programme in Draper after killing Evan.
He graduated high school early.
#michael afton#mike afton#five nights at freddys#fnaf#michael afton headcanons#five nights at freddy's headcanons#william afton#elizabeth afton#the crying child
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I am kind of feral about the interactions between Breq and Seivarden in the first book given that Breq doesn't really *like* Seivarden (and for pretty good reason.) She almost dies for Seivarden when she jumps off the bridge, the only reason she doesn't die is because Seivarden comes back for her (not really a thing she could have expected under the circumstances.) Granted she didn't realize the risk was as bad as it was, since she didn't realize Seivarden didn't still have her body shield, but even so, she must have understood that there was *some* risk and she did it anyways, when she was actively furious at Seivarden and had no real reason to. If Seivarden died, that would have been entirely because of Seivarden's own bad choices.
And the text isn't clear about why Breq did that -- the first time Breq saved Seivarden's life, the text explicitly says Breq doesn't know why. I think there's at least two equally plausible ways to interpret this: that Breq values the lives even of people she doesn't like personally; or that Breq has been conditioned to value the lives of her officers -- the real people -- over her own life and that her acting this way shows her still being overly influenced by that conditioning and not valuing her own life enough. Something I'm not sure she ever really moves away from in the series.
And I think it's also really interesting that in spite of the military setting, a lot of what the ships and stations do make a lot of sense if look at them as being in some sense maternal. They raise people. They care for them. They want them to be well. They give and sacrifice and give and give and give. And most of the time the people they give to don't even think about them.
Like there is the servant aspect but there is also very much the FEMALE servant aspect.
In a society that does not actually have gender. It's pretty wild.
there’s a thing about Breq’s POV where she will notice the specter of servant/household labor. which makes sense considering that back when she was a ship she was the one to do the work. invisibly and without recognition. cleaning and mending and tending. We see though her eyes how much of her time was this menial labor. Comparatively little of her time was the explosive brutalism of military violence. The real exercise of power is the exercise of who sits back and who does the work.
- the perfectly white uniform of the immigration officer coming into the Radch, which she described as indicative of either a servant, or a great deal of time invested in an effort to look like there was a servant
- the impressive wall of household plants in Skaaiat’s home, speculated to be the full time job of one of the household’s occupants
There are more of examples, probably. And there’s something in here about Seivarden acting as servant to Breq in book 1.
I’m having a half-baked thought about how, even with the POV character being a millennia-old warship, with the arc of the story being about galaxy spanning imperialism and political maneuvering. this is a story about the overlooked and taken-for-granted daily work, which is what that empire invisibly hinges upon. man I love this series. And this first book in particular. It’s put together so clean.
#and oooo having a book that's all#characters with she/her pronouns#without some let's kick the men out background to it#it's ...wow
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Megatron x Reader NSFW
Message - This was a request and they were so thankful to help me figure out my "ask me anything" button wasn't showing up, so it is now fixed. You know who you are and I thank you for your kindness. Hope you like what I did :3
Summary - Human Reader finds her way to Megatron's heart and told him she would like to be his conjunx, not knowing it meant marriage. She thought it just meant girlfriend/boyfriend...oops.
Warnings - Small blood scene, NSFW, biting ;3
Type of fic - Angst/Comfort, NSFW
How many times have you been at the med bay? Knockout at this point has bene telling you to avoid Megatron or your human heart would finally stop. Anytime Megatron would see you, he would talk down to you like you were some sort of rat. If you got too close to speak to him, he would flick you backwards. Your skin is full of cuts and bruises, but all of it was mostly from Airachnid or her weird giant bug men. She was the one who captured you after you were seen with one of the keys to vector sigma. After they figured out you hid it somewhere they have kept you for months to try and force the location from you. It has been a while, but now you have grown use to the giant bots and who to trust. Dreadwing was a very nice mech and has taught you a lot of ways to survive in such a horrible ship, even giving you tips on how to convince Megatron not to kill you already. You have talked to Breakdown and you accidentally have spilled that you wanted to be friends with the leader of the Decepticons and he told you to never get too close to the man in grey.
That has not stopped you though, and you have been giving Megatron secret gifts here and there. Soundwave sees you putting tiny energon candies on the throne before Megatron awakens and even has been seen cleaning up areas that the vehicons couldn't get to. Megatron has been seeing these gifts every now and than and has been recently pissed off on who has been touching his throne without his knowledge. It was to the point where he would yell at Starscream, thinking he was playing some sort of sick joke. After a while of the gifts, he asked Soundwave if he has seen Starscream to go teach him a lesson on not following his orders. Soundwave shows him that it was actually you who have been giving gifts and cleaning around the throne to keep it from getting dusty. Megatron is confused and now demands an answer as to why you have been giving him treats. Now he wonders if he has been given poison…which shouldn't be the case because he has been eating these little candies secretly in his room every time it happens.
You are right now humming a sweet toon, cleaning from under a vehicon's desk to help them out with organizing, when you feel sharp claws grabbing your entire body. Yelping from the unexpected touch, you look around to see that it is Airachnid. She giggles. "Silly little girl! What? You think I wouldn't see you trying to take confidential information?" You knew she was just wanted excuses to "play" around with you. She has been bored for staying in the cramped ship and hasn't been given orders to go out yet. Airachnid drops you on the desk and stabs her claw on your shirt, nicking your upper hip as you feel a horrible stinging around where she cut you. You scream from the pain and struggle from her trap, biting onto her finger. "AH! You little scraplet!" She moves her hand away as you quickly stand up and hide behind the computer. Airachnid sees this and angrily puts her hand around the computer to grab you, but than that is when you hear a deep voice from across the room. "Airachnid…" The voice was deep enough for you to know that it was Megatron. "Hmm? Oh my liege I apologize for not seeing you sooner! I was just trying to grab our little glitch. She bit me!" Airachnid shows her finger and shows that you bit hard, denting the side of her claw. You hear a small chuckle and quickly you hug yourself in a good ball position and stay hidden. "Well you shouldn't have played with the pet when she's in a wild mood. Take yourself to Knockout." Airachnid was shocked from his reaction, but leaves. It became quiet again until you heard Megatron's footsteps getting closure and closure, making you shake in fear. Should you run for it? Maybe just wait…he doesn't know where you are. All he knows is that you are on the desk, right? Holding your breath, you hear his tone shift to a more angry tone. "I know it was you who touched my things. Why did you give me some useless treats?" You didn't know what to say, why was he angry you gave him stuff? Maybe running is a good option. He could never catch you from how fast you were compared to him.
Thinking about running, you get yourself ready by standing up a bit. That was when you felt one of your legs being grabbed and dragged from behind the computer. "Ah! Wait!" You are now in front of him as his hand slams on the table above you, trapping you in a claw like trap. "Answer me!" Megatron's voice shakes your tiny body as you fearfully hide your face and tighten your legs together. "I'm sorry! I just wanted you to feel better!" You scream out of desperation. You didn't want to be killed, you knew he doesn't know his own strength when he is like this. Megatron stops what he was doing and just stares at you is confusion. How could any stupid creature look at him and want to be nice? He was a bit in a horrible mood lately from the unsuccessful missions a few months in a row. No…you wouldn't be so soft towards him. The human must be lying to try and get away. His thoughts were interrupted when he feels something warm on his hand and he looked down. The big cut on your hip was now bleeding from not being properly taken care of and started to drip blood all over his digits. Megatron sees that you are breathing heavier and now in shock. Your body loosens from getting weaker and softly puts your hand on one of his claws. He has never realized how soft you were and now his eyes widen from the surprised gentle gesture. He clenched his teeth and swears to himself. He is about to be a fool.
It has been a year sense the incident. If you could remember, you were woken up is Knockout's office and was wrapped in clean bandages. Knockout told you that Megatron threatened him to take care of you and now is going to visit you in a few hours. Ever sense, he has been very respectful to you whenever you are both alone. He talks to you in a softer tone (only Soundwave and you know when his voice changes, the others still think he talks to you like he does to the other soldiers). Oh, and when Airachnid tried to toy with you again, Megatron took that personally and let's just say you never saw her again for a few months. You talk to him about anything really. Culture, language, poetry, and anything else you too can be interesting. You are right now sweeping and wiping down some of his stuff in his room when you hear the door opening. "I knew you would be around here somewhere." You turn to see the grumpy grey giant staring at you with his predator like eyes. Smiling, you face your body towards him and bow sweetly. "Just wanting to make sure you can sleep without any dust going into your face!
You have been so sweet to him, and his spark can't take it anymore from how much you have done for the Decepticons, specifically for him. He walks over and sits on his berth and brings his servo to you. You take the hint and climb onto his servo. "I have been meaning to talk to you about something important." Megatron quiets his voice just a bit from how close you were to him as to not hurt your ears from his booming voice. You sit down crisscross and smile patiently at him to speak. "You seem to bring me into a state I haven't felt for millions of years and now I must tell you something that you shall never speak to anyone about." He waits for any motion for him to continue and you quietly nod with your full attention. He gives out a sigh of frustration. "I have been feeling a bit too comfortable around you and must ask if you would want to further the relationship you so desperately want from me for some reason."
You gasp from the sudden question and look at him in shock. Is he really asking you to date him? Knockout said something about him and Breakdown being conjunx and you wonder if that is exactly what Megatron is asking from you. You didn't know he wanted you to be his girlfriend! Awe and he was trying to be so sweet to you about it, but you knew this was definitely something he was not use to. You would think he would just tell you "You are now mine" and be done with it, but it seems he is more respectful about your opinion than you originally thought. "Awe! Of course I will be your conjunx! You are so sweet!" His eyes widen in surprise which was a bit weird in your opinion. Tilting your head in confusion from his reaction seemed to make him understand the situation. He smirks from the miscommunication and mass displaces. You yelp from the sudden shift in figure and he holds you with his now smaller hand, gripped around your waist as he starts to put a digit under your dress. "Well if you would like, I am not appose to such a thing." Before you could ask him what that meant, you feel him gently rubbing your boobs which made you gasp from the cold feeling. He liked the noises you were making and started to press another digit to your lower stomach. Knowing what he was about to do, you loosen your body a little and take your dress off. "Beautiful." He mumbles and licks your scars you had everywhere. Your moans made him hungrier for more, so his glossa slides around to your chest and his claw gently rubs on your clothed crotch. Arching your back, you yelp from the new feelings you are getting right now and moan his name in your lovely voice. Knowing he could do this to you with such little effort made him wonder how long you could last and just takes off your undergarments. Now you are fully exposed to him with you facing him. You knew this was risky, even with him mass displaced his digits felt so big to you. You wanted him to know that you trusted him fully, so you spread your legs to show him he could do whatever he wanted to do to you. Megatron takes the hint and rubs his claw in between your folds and closes his eyes, listening to your sweet voice. He can do this for hours…thankfully he gave all his reports to Soundwave so he will continue until your legs start to shake. The constant friction of him rubbing your lower region made you so weak. Bucking into his finger to make him know you want more, made him smirk even wider as he inserts a digit inside of you, widening your walls. You open your eyes and yelp from the new feeling and pressed your hand on his faceplate. He feels your soft touch, feeling as though he was getting awarded by his actions and nips your neck just barely. It made you jump a bit but moan again from the feeling. "Oh? Well isn't that new. Your body misses being abused." This made you realize how fucked you were and you start to struggle a little under his grip, but it was know use. He was under a spell from how enticing you were and kept nipping you every few minutes. After the eighth bite, your body couldn't handle any more of the pleasure that was surrounding your body and released. Megs watched your body produce cum, dripping down his digits, as his tongue glides down and starts to clean your folds. "You taste magnificent, pet." He speaks with a deeper voice, making you flustered and cover your face in embarrassment…you were now his to control, but you didn't mind.
#maccadam#tfp#transformers#transformers prime#transformers x y/n#transformers x reader#transformers x human#megatron x reader#megatron x y/n#valveplug
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Crash Out - Love
(Content: fever, drug mention, bruises, discussions of past abuse, guilt)
He was in and out of sleep for a long time. He remained supervised. They didn’t trust him with as much rope as he could hang himself with.
Vi had lied to him, essentially. Paris was a prisoner just as long as he was here. But, as she reminded him frequently, he could leave at any time. They’d give him his sword back at the door. They’d take it away at the next base they crashed into.
Lorelai was in her element, though. She was one of them now, clear as day. There was a little medallion around her neck, the gold markings which he recognized as distinctly imperial.
“Did you scavenge that off a corpse?” he asked.
He had meant it as a joke.
He got the distinct sense that he had killed something beautiful. Like setting a butterfly on fire. Had she been changing all this time?
And yet she didn’t leave him. She changed all the time, but that didn’t. Over the border was still the goalpost. CTRL sheltered them at most stops. She’s their own now, of course she can stay. He offered what he could — intel when he had it, labor when he didn’t, when his body allowed him to. Sometimes he merely slept, looking sheepishly at the night guard for the time they were both wasting.
The border was a stone’s throw away and she wanted to make one last stop.
He indulged her. He had to. And it was good for him too, to see the last stop before leaving Empire. Some kind of closure. One last goodbye.
It was a tundra. The frozen kind, though some stages were now in thaw. It was painfully beautiful.
She had an eye for it more than he did. He’d have followed her up into the mountains and along the frozen stream, walked the whole length of tundra ten time over. Anything. Lorelai pulled winter weeds out from the ground to press into the journal she still carried. Small, living things dashed across the dead-land. Foxes and rabbits. Owls and swans. Living things, not so unlike them. Hot blood flowed through all of them, proof they still existed. Alive.
It was her idea to break into the cabin, which to him did not seem very altruistic, but he had no better ideas. Luckily enough, it was empty, seemingly abandoned for a time. They’d get better use of it.
Only in the middle of the night, when they were already tangled in between each other’s limbs, did he realize the fever was upon him.
A real one, this time. Not induced, not even dopesick. An honest to god fever.
Paris stood up blearily, feeling some of the heat recede when he’d detached from her body, but not much. It was still bright outside, something to do with the equinox. The sky was an odd, soft color. It was freezing out, which felt nice against his flushed skin. Lorelai groaned slightly from the bed. She wrapped the blanket tighter around herself before she shuffled over to the door. At that point, he’d already stepped out.
Paris was on his knees in the snow. He pressed some of it to his face, still appreciating the contrast between the cold and the burning. It felt nice. It was strange, the things that felt nice to him now. As the last dregs of the drugs cycled out from his body, he found pleasures unmuted in their absence.
“You okay?” she called from the doorway. She was barefoot by the entrance, where the carpet was still warm.
He nodded, though he probably wasn’t. The fever was cooking his brain.
The blanket hung off her bare shoulder. He hadn’t seen it as well in the dark, but the bruises marked her skin just as much as the love bites. She’d been busy. She’d been through a lot.
“I’m sorry for dragging you out here,” he blurted out. He’d been meaning to say it for a while.
“What?” She blinked. “I wanted to come. This was my idea.”
“But you didn’t know what you were getting into. I didn’t tell you anything. It was taking advantage.”
“Did you know?”
He shook his head
“I knew it would be bad. I didn’t know it would be like this.”
“It’s my ship,” she said, the same way she ended all her arguments. “I could leave anytime I wanted. Why are you always trying to get rid of me?”
He desperately did not want to be rid of her.
“I don’t understand you.” he said. He couldn’t fathom the thought of anyone staying with him by choice. If he could’ve left himself behind, he would’ve. He’d have done it in a heartbeat.
“What part don’t you get?” she asked. It tickled him how annoyed she sounded then. Like her clarity was being taken for granted.
Then, as if reading his mind: “You give yourself way too much credit. I wanted this too.”
“This?” he laughed.
“Not all of it. I never wanted you to get hurt, Paris. I just wanted us to get out. I didn’t know how hard it would fight to keep you.”
A pause. She said:
“I had fun, though. Is that horrible to say? I had fun. I don’t regret it.”
He wondered if he regretted it. Really, he regretted everything.
When he didn’t answer for a while, she sat down on the wooden steps. The blanket shielded her from the cold contact. She lit up a cigarette, holding it delicately between her lips.
Another pause. He said:
“…You know I couldn’t have let him go, right?”
If she was surprised by the change in topic, she didn’t show it. He suspected she wasn’t shocked at all. Delta was on the cusp of his thoughts, all the time. Everything lead back to him. Lorelai raised one eyebrow at the new proclamation.
“I couldn’t just let him go,” Paris said, because he had been thinking a lot about it. “He was too dangerous. Nobody would ever let that kind of power live in peace. He would have always be wanted, always somebody’s captive. He never could have had a happy life. It’s not his fault. He didn’t do anything to deserve it. But its true. There was never any hope for him. The kindest thing to do would have been to kill him.”
He didn’t mean to say that last part. Because he had killed Delta — and it had not felt kind. The ice felt colder beneath him as he went on.
“I know I didn’t have to treat him the way I did. I’m not saying anything about that. But yeah. I never could’ve let him go.”
Clearly.
“I don’t know. That’s beside the point, now.”
She barely reacted. He thought she might argue. Maybe he wanted her to. Maybe she saw another way out, some path that he didn’t. If he could do it all over, what would he change? Or would he always end up here — and Delta, dead on the ocean floor?
“Why did you treat him like that?” Lorelai asked, leaning forward slightly onto her knees. “…You didn’t have to.”
It felt like being stabbed. But it was a miracle he’d even avoided the question for this long. She’d been patient with him, endlessly. He could afford to be honest. The fever would make it so, regardless.
“I was so angry,” he admitted.
“All the time. At everything. I couldn’t stand it. I hated my life and I hated myself. I still hate myself. The only reason I had to live was to try to keep empire running — and I didn’t even want that. It felt like the whole place was fucking diseased. There was this rot at the center of the machine. He was just the worst of all of it, the worst thing it had ever created. It wasn’t his fault. I know that, it wasn’t his fault.”
“They told me I needed to. It’s his conditioning. He needed to feel powerless, all the time, or he would stop working. I was fucking terrified of what would happen if I lost control of him, if I lost the only edge I had. I was scared of him. And I needed him.”
“I hated needing. I hated feeling like I was losing control. And that’s all I was doing, the entire time. Just losing control, constantly. Over everything. Over myself.”
“It just became a habit, after a while. It started with just…punishment. Then it was just because he was there. Because I could.”
He was acutely aware of how cruel the word punishment sounded in his mouth. He was aware of how absurd it was, without any of the false authority he’d once put behind it. Who had he thought that he was? He’d never had the right.
He forced himself to look up at her, scared as he was of what he’d find. The scars of his body ached in the cold.
“I’m sorry, Lorelai. For everything.
I wish I could take it back.”
~~~~~~~
this is effectively the final chapter of Crash Out
paris and lorelai will return in Destroyer
tags:
@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump
@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire
@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @whump-queen @sir-fenris
#whump#whump scenario#whump prompt#whump writing#living weapon whumpee#royal whumpee#whumper turned whumpee#past abuse#guilt#crash out#paris#lorelai#delta (mentioned)
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Incredibly long post about Trey and Riddle's Relationship that I vaguely said I'd do in the tags of my posts somewhere
Disclaimer: this is not intended to be shipping in any way I very much view them as family, even more so after these updates. To start with I'm going to separate their relationship into 3 distinct stages and focus on their perceptions of each other at each stage. I think their relationship is wonderfully written As usual, I ramble so sorry in advance, but I really want to analyze how complex they are.
Stage one: Childhood: ||Riddle|| A friend: Trey and Chenya were Riddle's first friends. Riddle had spent his whole life knowing the four walls of his home and his mother and both Trey and Chenya were his gateway to experiencing the world outside his windows. As such, they're immensely valuable to him. Under his mother he had no other way to grow socially, so when provided with a logical reason for going out and playing (Chenya stated his grandpa believed play is a form of study) he jumped at it because he wanted that connection. Trey specifically was his ideal. I think he looked up to him a lot. Normal home life. His mother didn't confine or trap him in any way. And he could eat whatever he liked. That's why when Trey said that one or two slices of tart wouldn't hurt, it was good enough to sway Riddle. All his life he'd grown up hearing about sweets being poison. But Trey seems happy and fulfilled so surely it's not as bad. However, breaking his mother's rule made him lose everything. The momentary friendship he'd built and any chance of freedom. It impressed upon him the importance of following the rules because breaking them lead to loss. And on top of that, it left him with guilt. I talk a lot about Trey's guilt in this situation (and I will talk more) but Riddle has his own guilt too that just manifested in a different way. More on that later.
||Trey|| A brother: While Riddle might have viewed Trey as a friend (no doubt because he was an isolated only child with a different perception and a lot of baggage tied to the world family), Trey saw him as a brother. He expressly states in his dream that Riddle was smart enough to identify plants and flowers and had enough magic control to get their soccer ball out of the trees, and he felt proud to have a smart little brother. And this sort of label is easier for him because he comes from a rather healthy family with siblings and has a blood brother around Riddle's age. Instinctively, Riddle became someone he wanted to care for, spoil, and cherish. That's why after knowing Riddle wanted to try a tart he wanted to let him. Later on, he tries to dismiss or come to terms with his actions in various ways, stating that it was not his place and of course anyone would get upset if their house rules and dietary restrictions weren't being respected. He tries to make it out into a joke, saying it's become a family incident of sorts that they just laugh about. "Who gets that mad at children playing." But underneath all those attempts to bury his own trauma, lies guilt. Because he feels, deep down, that as a brother he should have protected Riddle better. And instead, after just 2 months, he had to see everything that made Riddle happy stripped away again. More on this later. Stage 2: Riddle's First Year
||Riddle|| A stranger. Riddle's changed. He's developed some of his mother's anger. He's been confined for years. And because of that one incident with the tart, he firmly believes that growth and by extension fulfillment can only happen under the rules. Moreover, since Trey represents that period of his life where he learned that lesson rather harshly, he ices Trey out, pretending he barely knows him. After all, they might as well be strangers after all these years. Especially since Trey is banned from his house. This is a result of the guilt I mentioned earlier. He failed to follow his mother's rules and the punishment put Trey and his peaceful family that he looked up to in the crossfire. I think a part of him doesn't know how to face Trey after all that, worried that he might hate him. However, he cannot fully erase his own memories. So it is Trey he consults when he asks how to challenge a dorm leader for the seat. Even if he's distancing himself by calling him "Clover-senpai" Trey still remains someone he trusts to a degree. After Riddle takes the throne he makes a decision I find interesting. He doesn't select a vice, instead he leaves it to the popular vote. This could be read two ways IMO. Either, he didn't feel the need to have a vice because he was so confident in his own skills, but was aware that it was customary to have one so it didn't matter to him who it was. Or, deep down, he was afraid that no one would be willing to work with him. After seeing his dream, I do think it might be the latter. All of the darkness versions of his card soldiers showed some form of disloyalty. Willing to go along with the idea that they might jump ship, or that Riddle could be overpowered. It's this insecurity born from his own fear of his mother. He knows he's become a reflection of her, and he's worried how other people might react to it. In the end, he's still chasing those relationships from childhood, but is stuck believing that rules are the only way to keep what little happiness he has which alienates him from Trey to a degree. ||Trey|| A brother still: Despite the years, Trey's feelings about Riddle hadn't changed much other than being swamped with underlying guilt. Upon realizing that Riddle was going to attend NRC, his first instinct was to create a space for him. Trey generally, is introverted but excited to see his childhood friend again, he ends up talking to the people around him saying that Riddle was a quiet but studious boy and he hopes that people will welcome him. That was at least, before he saw what Riddle had become (he ended up fighting Floyd at the entrance ceremony) leaving Trey with the realization that this was not the boy he knew anymore. And worse, he was pretending not to know him. I'm sure it hurt, but even so, when RIddle asked about dueling the housewarden, he did try to accommodate him (after getting over his initial shock). The thing that gets me the most, however, is that Trey still saw the good in him. Trey in the rose maze part of Riddle's dream tells Ortho that the first thing Riddle did when he became housewarden was tend to the roses. To him that was a sign that Riddle was still somewhere in there and he was willing to support that. He would have been resigned to accepting that he was a stranger to Riddle if he hadn't been elected vice, but regardless of how Riddle felt, Trey still felt responsible for him. Both out of guilt and because he was still family.
#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#trey clover#twst trey#riddle rosehearts#twst riddle#im sorry this is so long#but i can't help it they mean the world to me#trey who values family so much and riddle who doesn't know what family is outside of the rigid structure he's known#trying to understand each other because they're so caught up in their own perspectives of what happened#they were just children#it just makes me cry#heartslabyul#is family#no one can ever change my mind after this#especially since trey outright called riddle his littler brother#i smacked my head into my keyboard when i heard it#even better he uses present continuous#basically saying i still think of him as my brother#wow twst#fucking gut punch#okay#also tell me why i relate to both of them this is fuckign me up#the moral of this story is i think we should revoke mama rosehearts license#not kill her bc riddle would be sad but like#she was basically using her child as an experiment#i demand karmic retribution#you fucked up not only ur own kid's life but also an entirely different kid's life
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I kinda wanna hop in on this, since I usually don’t say much. (But to note, I will be including platonic ships, since I ship some romantically, platonically, or both.)
(My rambles will be under a “Read More” just in case.)
~~~
Octopath 1:
I love quite a few of the different ships in the first game, but if I had to have a favorite, it’s a three-way tie between Alfyn x Therion, Alfyn x Ophilia, and Cyrus x Olberic. I love those 3 too much!
But for this section, I’ll specifically elaborate on Alfyn x Ophilia. Personally, I don’t ship them as much in a romantic sense, since I enjoy the platonic sense more. And also, I feel like not too many people ship these two, but I also may be out of the loop.
I enjoy how the personalities of these two play together, especially since both of them are such caring individuals. I love combining Ophilia’s kind and understanding nature with Alfyn’s resourcefulness and desire to help people in need.
Particularly involving Alfyn’s Chapter 3 and Ophilia’s Chapter 4, I think that they would be great supporting each other. Ophilia’s story emphasizes how people can pick up the pieces from a loss or a traumatic event, and how people can reach out to those close to them for help. I think that Ophilia would help Alfyn navigate the consequences of his Chapter 3, since he had to go against his creed and take a life instead of saving them, and that he got stabbed in the back by someone he trusted and wanted to help. It’d be similar for Alfyn helping Ophilia after Lianna’s betrayal, since they both know that Lianna’s grieving over the loss of her father.
I also just enjoy that even though they’re very kind individuals, they’re not ones to be pushed around. They’re not going to be trampled on like doormats. If they or someone they love is being wronged, they’ll stand up and fight to make things right.
I personally see them as close friends or sibling figures, but I can understand how people can ship them romantically.
~~~
Octopath 2:
I actually don’t ship as many people in Octopath 2 compared to Octopath 1. For some, I just don’t see them being romantically involved with any of them, and for others, I think some are better off being friends or otherwise in a platonic relationship.
However, Crick and Temenos have me at the throat, both in a possibly romantic sense and especially in a platonic sense. These two are the Mikotoba and Sholmes of the Octopath universe to me, and I adore it.
I adore Temenos and Crick as characters, but pairing them together with their specific dynamic makes it all the more entertaining. Temenos teases his partner a lot, but overall, he appreciates everything that Crick does. And as much as Crick hates how laissez-faire Temenos is with his methods, he can’t deny that it revealed things that they would not be able to find if they went with the conventional methods.
Temenos being in Crick’s debt and wishing to repay him… God, that bit in Stormhail had me at the throat, especially after Crick’s untimely demise. I adore how Temenos carried on Crick’s work after him putting his life on the line to get the one clue that he needed.
Outside of the romantic sense, I love the unspoken respect between the two of them. Yes, one works within the law and one works outside of it, but they recognize each others’ talents. There’s a lot that they can learn from each other.
I miss octopath yapping with people so uh yknow what! We’re gonna play a game!!
Explain in the notes what y’all’s favorite ships are and why you like them!!!
Only rules are
1) do not explain why everyone should think your ship is canon, as that is not the point of this post 2) do not put any other ships down bc that is also not the point of this post 3) ALL games are included (yes including cotc) 4) ANY SHIPS ARE ALLOWED!!! GO NUTS!!!!
#octopath#octopath traveler#octopath traveler 2#octopath traveler ii#octopath traveler spoilers#kazurambles
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Are you still accepting asks for the ship ask game? Bc if so what are your thoughts on TimSteph?
oh sure, i'll take it!!
Don’t Ship It (gently)
1. Why don’t you ship it?
so when i say i don't ship it i mean like... i like what they had in canon vis a vis "childhood sweethearts driven apart by The Horrors and they can never go back". i love divorce.
but also if i'm being honest, a lot of chuck dixon's writing of steph was really grating to me - the way he bashed ari and later zoanne to prop up steph as the Correct/Better tim love interest (she's Quirky and Fun and #NotLikeOtherGirls!!!) left a kinda bitter taste in my mouth, and made it a lot harder for me to actually like steph or tim/steph as a ship, tbh. and it's really not steph's fault she got juggled from misogynistic shithead writer to misogynistic shithead writer, but it did mean that plotlines like "steph becomes robin in order to spite tim because she saw darla kiss him against his will and didn't stop to ask any questions. this is how teen girls behave right?" made me so tired in robin '93. i honestly enjoyed the times she got to appear without tim more than their relationship, for the most part, but ... oof.
2. What would have made you like it?
lewis getting to write more than like 20 issues of the run before fucking willingham showed up lmao. lewis run was the first time in robin '93 that i actually liked seeing tim and steph together or felt like steph even had much of a character. which is wild because dixon is the one who created her! it's just that dixon only knows how to write two kinds of women: "the old ball and chain" and "quirky whitegirl who throws herself at robin do you like her do you like her do you like her you have to like her!!!!"
as opposed to lewis, who actually gave her depth, like... explained some of how her dad made her childhood shit, went into her complex feelings on him and her relationship with her mom, and made it actually read like she and tim enjoyed spending time with each other, not just "he was a boy. she was a girl. can i make it any more obvious." if he'd stuck on the book i probably would like tim/steph way more than i do.
3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?
oh sure! i think tim and steph have a fascinating dynamic. when you pick through all the issues with dixon and with willingham and with war games and all the writers that could not stop hating steph for the crime of being a girl (which... is a pretty tall order because jesus christ so many of them wrote her so shittily), you can kinda piece together a narrative that is really juicy.
my possibly unpopular steph take is that while i know her post war games and resurrection writing was not very good, i do actually find it compelling that she set assassins on tim at bruce's orders. i think having such a demonstrable and visible example of bruce being the driving force behind every single nail in the coffin of their relationship is fun. like, to me, timsteph is a formative relationship, but never an endgame one. there's a lot of fun stuff to say about them! i just unfortunately struggle to really enjoy picking through the mess of how steph has been written, so they don't compel me all that much.
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Writer interview game
Thank you to my pals @arminaa8, @citrusses, @garagepaperback, @houndsinhades, @sorrybutblog, @sweet-s0rr0w, @wholahoop for tagging me - as always i'm deeply late to the party, due to an anxious few weeks/horridly busy work month! so love being tagged in these things though, i appreciate you all and loved reading yours.
how many works do you have on ao3? 69 😏 under tacky and 2 under BrassTacks (the account I set up when I was going to migrate all my fics over to a new name for some reason)
what's your total ao3 word count? 679,422 (nervous laughter) (also this is just the tacky account)
your top 5 stories by kudos? (a clear indication that kudos count means fuck all imo, three of the five of these are very much not my best imo - but which three?!)
If It Takes All Night (E, 11k)
A Lick and a Promise (E, 55k)
Modern Love (E, 62k)
And One To Play (E, 22k)
Through the Window, Clear Skies (M, 1.4k)
do you respond to comments? I used to reply to all, then i fell hugely behind with Modern Love, and then life got exceptionally busy and for ages it was either reply to comments or write new fics. i am currently working my way through comments on my new long fic though - really trying to catch up, albeit slowly.
what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? People might say my MCD fic Last Offices. I would say The Quiver of a Heartstring.
what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? First Watch, imo - i think they really had to work for their happy ending, and also it's a double Drarry happy ending
do you write crossovers? I have a rough idea for an F1 crossover based on the Grosjean fiery crash/coming back wrong trope
have you ever received hate on a fic? a few times, that stuff doesn't really bother me though. personal unpleasantnesses are much harder to deal with but luckily don't happen often.
do you write smut? yes i do! it's something i've been actively working on improving, in fact. my most recent fic Standing in the Way is probably my best (though the sex scene at the end of First Watch was the one I found most satisfying in terms of the resolution of the fic)
have you ever had a fic stolen? yes, had a few put on that AI voice-recorded site recently.
have you ever had a fic translated? yes, a few - always a great honour as i see translation as an art in itself
have you ever co-written a fic before? yes! and it was very fun. Body Electric with @shealwaysreads and the Dreaming Skies Dronarry fics with @sweet-s0rr0w
what's your all-time favorite ship? look i've been reading drarry since around 2002 so...
what's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? Dudley with a magical baby/forced marriage/drarry on the run after Muggles find out about magic. MoD Harry who keeps dying but not for good having to go retrieve Draco from death. Draco going through the Veil to get Sirius back. Vicar Harry that I started years ago and would probably need a full rewrite. Caravan park worker Draco in a holiday camp in France. Seer Ron. I have lots. Though I do hope to finish them at some point!
what are your writing strengths? probably immediacy of emotions/ a strong visual style?
what are your writing weaknesses? sloppiness, sameiness, trying to be concise but just making it dull. getting discouraged at never being as good as the writers i really admire.
what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i... don't really have many? if someone in the story speaks a foreign language and doesn't speak english then I'd find a native speaker to help me translate their dialogue. I would never write an accent/dialect phonetically a la JKR though (RIP Fleur and Hagrid, you deserved better)
what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? F1!! I have two WIPs, a Maxiel non-racing AU where Daniel owns an organic farm shop and Max is a finance bro who makes friends with him and joins his 11-a-side amateur footie team and they hook up on a stag do while dressed as mariokart characters, and a Galex fic with Vicar!George.
what's your favorite fic you've ever written? First Watch! I think it's a really good fic (relative to my writing i mean), it does exactly what i hoped it would, and the people who like it seem to really genuinely love it, which is the best feeling. Also I do love the Voldemort-Wins trope and we don't have a huge amount in Drarry so I'm happy I wrote one.
Since I'm so late I'm not sure who's done this already (will try a few F1 pals too in case this hasn't reached you yet) @beloved-child-of-the-house @boxboxlewis @disarmd @elskanellis @epitomereally @faiell @kendra-vendetta @maesterchill @magicalrocketships @powerful-owl @saxamophone @skeptiquewrites
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A PSA to non asexual arcane fans!
Ok with the recent announcement that Viktor is asexual, as an asexual myself who has Viktor as their favourite character, I wanna get some shit out the way. There’s a good chance I’m gonna stop interacting with the arcane fandom because of this announcement because every time I’ve seen a character be confirmed asexual there’s always just this influx of acephobia and misinformation which makes it impossible for me to even interact with the fandom and feel safe. So throwing this at y’all and then we’ll see what happens. However, I do not speak for the whole of the asexual community so some aces may disagree with me and that’s ok, as long as y’all aren’t rude we can have a discussion (or you can just scroll or block me, whatevs🤷)
Asexual and aromantic are not the same thing. This is something the creator clearly doesn’t know since he used Viktor’s asexuality as a rebuttal against Jayvik which makes zero fucking sense but sure. So asexuals can still date and aromantics and still have sex. Some like myself are both but that’s not always the case
“Asexuality is a spectrum! Some asexuals still have sex!” is not the good excuse you think it is to depict asexuals in sexually explicit situations. Every time I see this paired with this excuse, the character is very obviously just made to be allosexual in the fanwork. Either stick to sexualising the allosexual characters or do your research on sex neutral/favourable asexuals and represent them properly. Otherwise what you’re doing is no different to writing a fic where a canonically lesbian character has sex with a man
“Asexuality is a spectrum! People can be demisexual or greysexual!” If the character was demisexual or greysexual, the creator would have said. But they didn’t. They said they were asexual. You changing the label doesn’t make you inclusive, it makes you acephobic
Viktor being announced as asexual only after the show was released and it being in rebuttal to a gay ship where the writer clearly doesn’t know what it actually means to be asexual isn’t the win for ace representation some might first think. Asexuals deserve explicit representation by people who bother to learn how to represent us properly
Having the only asexual character also be the character who’s storyline focuses on disability, something that people already infantalise also isn’t the win people might try and make it out to be. Disabled people are frequently denied sexuality and it is part of the way they are infantalised in western society. So having Viktor be disabled and also be the only asexual character feels a bit iffy to me. Obviously there are disabled people who are ace and I don’t want to diminish that experience either. And there would be ways to explore that in a more nuanced way but that’s not what happened. And frankly it would be so easy to avoid this by just having more than one ace character so it doesn’t feel like a trait exclusive to disabled people but sure go off I guess
A lot of you only give a shit about QPR’s (queer platonic relationships) so that you have an excuse to ship aromantic characters. Granted, I’m so in favour of QPR Jayvik because their relationship explicitly goes beyond what we consider standard for a platonic relationship, even if it’s canonically not romantic. But I’m bringing this up anyway because a lot of the time in fandom and society in general, QPR’s are seen as a way to make the aromantic character more “palatable” to the allo’s and shippers. And as someone in a QPR, that idea honestly feels both insulting but is also so damaging to the aro community as a whole. Loveless aromantics exist, some aromantics who do feel other forms of love still don’t want a QPR. Some like myself were/are indifferent and some like my partner really want/ed one. Not all of us are the same
Might’ve missed some stuff but yeah. Any acephobia will be deleted but I’m happy to have civil conversations and answer questions. Ultimately I just want a fandom to actually listen to ace people for once but I know that won’t happen. Still, I wanted to at least say my peace
#sorry if I come off as angry and aggressive here. I’m just so sick of how creators and fans treat my community#for context I was a fan of Steven universe when Peridot got confirmed. then Hazbin hotel#and time and time again I’ve seen creators of popular shows just be absolute shit at ace rep#and unfortunately I don’t think arcane is an exception#I still love Viktor and arcane but I don’t trust how this is going to play out and I have better things to do with my time#than deal with aphobes#asexual#aromantic asexual#aro ace#aroace#arcane#arcane viktor#viktor#viktor arcane#jayvik#tw cursing#asexual representation#tw aphobia#tw ableism
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Hey! I had more thoughts.
The first time I was in fandom, Spuffy endgame was strictly a fan conceit. At the time, materials like the comics were not Spuffy-friendly. I phased out of fandom before the canon comics started trending into Spuffy territory, so in general, the Spuffy fandom space felt (to me) more wish fulfillment than anything we'd get to experience through official media.
That is clearly not the case now. The comics went hard Spuffy (and I contend they only ended the way they did because JW is a pansy-ass; but even their ending strongly indicated Spuffy endgame so whatever). We also have other non-canon comics that are very pro-Spuffy. These things would have blown mid-00s Holly's mind. No longer was Spuffy fan wish fulfillment -- we have been acknowledged within licensed material.
Why does this matter? I've seen a lot of concern that SMG's involvement will make Bangel endgame. And it might; we know how she feels about it. But if that's what happens, it will only be endgame in that particular continuation, no longer dominating all of Buffy storytelling. In fact, we have Spuffy endgame all over the fucking place. Not wish fulfillment, real endgame. That's something we didn't have for a long time.
Also, I'm inclined to believe that the 90s/00s shipping wars will be kept out of the reboot. If they're smart, they'll keep Buffy's love life vague. Why?
Spuffy fandom comprises most of the active Buffy fandom these days; I understand they won't want to alienate the old-guard fans who will tune in out of curiosity and nostalgia, but fandom is what keeps properties going.
The JW brand of feminists will reject this outright (i.e., the dudebros you see on Reddit). There will be complaints that Buffy has gone "woke" (with no sense of self-awareness, same as we've seen with Star Trek and Star Wars). Lose the JW dudebros and they'll review bomb it, and we know Disney listens to these assholes. And they WILL lose them. A non-JW Buffy is going to be way more inclusive.
Because of point 2, the success of the show will be decided by the diehards. That's us. Look at what happened with Veronica Mars. They pissed off the diehards and now it's Season 4? What Season 4?
I've said before that Spuffy is the reason we're still here. We're 20+ years old and have two incredibly active non-AO3 fanwork communities that are Spuffy exclusive, never mind the dominance on AO3. Can you point to any other ship where that's the case? (I mean if you can, awesome, but I'm not aware of it)
Anyway, I think that's it but don't hold me to it.
A Spuffy Fan's Perspective on the Reboot
So, as most Buffy fandom knows (unless they’ve been living under a rock in a crater on the Hellmouth), it was announced yesterday that SMG is involved in a Buffy reboot sequel series, one in which she will be a recurring but not central character.
As a lifelong Buffy fan, I’m expected to be overjoyed at this news, and I’m, well, not. Nor are a good number of people deeply entrenched in fandom. I’m super happy for the people who are excited. As a Spuffy fan, though, it’s hard to be jazzed for a number of reasons, among these being that SMG is most definitely a Bangel shipper, and despite being overwhelmingly more popular than Bangel in current times, Spuffy is often overlooked in a lot of key areas of the “official” Buffy promotions, the comics being a notable and welcome exception.
One thing I’ve noticed is a lot of people in Spuffy fandom are more than just “not normal” about Spuffy. I’ve struggled for 20+ years to both identify and articulate why the ship resonates with me so much to the point that news like this can make my anxiety spiral. I understand it’s not an ideal reaction media, but I have lived inside a neurodivergent brain my entire life and that ain’t about to change. And I’m not the only one—I’ve met and interacted with many, many people who feel as intensely as I do and also struggle to articulate why news like this distresses them.
So for everyone who is like me, slightly more than just “not normal” about Spuffy (or any aspect of Buffy!) and distressed about the news, here are some things I keep reminding myself.
Buffy is an Established Multi-Universe Property
We know that there are multiple universes in Buffy; it’s explored in The Wish and then confirmed by Anya later in the series. Not just multiple dimensions, but divergent/adjacent worlds to the one we saw in the show. This has been later explored in the comics, such as The Lost Summer, the Boom reboot, and The Last Vampire Slayer, never mind the plethora of authorized novels and the recent audio play. These were all officially sanctioned, licensed productions that exist outside the official canon.
All of these stories matter, regardless of whether or not they’re considered “official.” For my Spuffy people, some are Spuffy friendly and some are not. We acknowledge what we want to acknowledge and leave the rest behind. Me? If I find the sequel reboot upsetting, I’ll mentally shove it into one of those other worlds, the same as I’ve done with the comics for years (yes, even if they got Spuffy friendly).
One of the points that was brought up yesterday when I suggested just giving the sequel reboot the comics treatment was it’s harder to ignore if SMG is involved. And I get that; I felt the same way about the Slayers audioplay, because significant OG cast members were involved so it felt more official. But upon reflection, I do still think it’s the same as the comics, which were spearheaded and overseen by JW and still considered (until this sequel reboot happens) the official post-series canon. If the involvement of original artists is what makes or breaks something’s authority, then the medium shouldn’t really matter.
And on that note…
Star Wars Legends, Halloween, Terminator, & Other Reboots
For years—decades—following Return of the Jedi, the official Star Wars canon was continued in novels, the same as Buffy was. There was a rich tapestry of intergalactic politics, Leia and Han’s Force family, Luke and Mara Jade, and characters like Grand Admiral Thrawn that proved so popular he’s been recanonized.
These books existed and still exist. The new movies, the reset of canon, all things involving Rey Palpatine Skywalker and Kylo Ben Ren exist alongside established, official property. I know plenty of people who were upset that their investment in the extended Star Wars family was essentially nixed with the sequel series 10 years ago, and others who chose not to acknowledge the sequel series but maintain their post-Jedi canon.
In an era of reboots and sequel series, canon can become a bit diluted. You can’t just erase everything that came before you decided to hit the “start over” button. The recent Halloween trilogy flat-out ignored multiple movies to tell the story it wanted to tell. Terminator has done the same thing, multiple times, with the Sarah Connor Chronicles being officially licensed and more or less officially scrapped, and the last Terminator movie retconning like, what, four or five that came out after Judgment Day. That is to say, established canon doesn’t really matter in this era, because the people making these decisions are doing what fan artists have done for decades; keeping what they want, tossing all else aside, and focusing on the story they want to tell.
If what came before and what has been long established doesn’t matter (and I actually do love this; it opens up worlds and essentially gives us licensed what-if fics), then canon itself is kind of nebulous. It doesn’t matter what is or isn’t established, because established canon is a moving target, subject to personal interpretation. Don’t like the Halloween reboot? Ignore it. There are other movies out there. Don’t like the clusterfuck Disney has made of Star Wars? There is a fully developed alternative. Don’t like any of the options? Come up with your own. Comics do it all the time with superhero stories, and Buffy is nothing if not a superhero.
It’s All Fiction
This is what drives my husband crazy when I try to explain my beyond not normal feelings about Spuffy. It’s all fiction. We’re not talking about historical events here. All fiction lives in exactly one place, ultimately, and that’s between your ears. If you don’t like the way a fictional story went, you can do what fanartists have been doing for years and create your own fix-it. Or find a ready-made fix-it; I promise it exists. And the more I think about it, the less stock I put into “official” stories that are told primarily to make money. The people who are here telling these stories because they love the characters and know the characters on levels that frankly outperform most licensed stuff.
In Summary
So I’ve rambled a lot, but here are the key points to take away:
Buffy is canonically a multi-universe property so the world we’re shown by official licensed sources see isn’t the only one that exists. I didn’t say this in the section, but in this way, all fanfic is canon, because each exists in a different universe
If canon is not sacred in the world of reboots, then what they try to sell us as canon is debatable, negligible, and ultimately fine to just not acknowledge
Official canon doesn’t really matter all that much when you can pick your own, which you can and should
I hope this helps my fellow Spuffys and anyone else who is struggling with the news. My siblings in beyond just not normal. Your feelings, even if you have trouble explaining or understanding them, are valid. You’re not silly. It’s never silly to be upset about news that impacts something important to you. And there’s still so much we don’t know, so speculation abounds, but whatever comes of this, I hope you find some comfort in the freedom of being able to do exactly what the for-profit storytellers do all the time and just fucking ignore what doesn’t suit them.
In the meantime, Elysian Fields Archive will remain a Spuffy exclusive safe space, and I imagine will be home to a shitload of fix-its if the pilot gets picked up, so you’re free to join us there.
Until then, be good to yourself, and to somebody else.
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