#in the next baby casey update even

[quartergremlin]

haha so sorry. i will not be stopping.

[kathaynesart]

BABY HEIST!

BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT MASTER POST

I'm sick as a dog, but at least it gave me the time to stay home and finish this update! This special though is definitely going to be lasting through into the new year, but I figure I would rather take the time to see it to completion rather than try to stuff it into some arbitrary date. It was so fun finally getting to do Casey Sr and Raph though. I wanted to give these two some time to shine since we see so little of them in Replica.

MOTHEROOD/CASEY TED TALK TIME UNDER THE CUT

I will admit... I've never been a big fan of the dumpster baby scenario for Casey Jr. It's not a bad scenario at all! Plenty of amazing stories have used it and it certainly embraces the "found family" theme of TMNT. It just always seemed a little unrealistic given the harsh state of the world (or at least as unrealistic as you can get in a story about brain aliens and mutant turtles haha). It's certainly an easier and simpler setup (removes the dad out of the picture for sure) but I wonder sometimes if this choice of origin story gets picked a lot simply because it's difficult to envision Cassandra going through pregnancy and typical motherhood willingly. However, if that's the core reason, I feel as if that does her character a great disservice!

After re-watching a few episodes with her, it's shocking the amount of depth of character Cassandra has (even compared to some in the main cast). I love her because while she's a passionate woman who makes mistakes, she's also extremely introspective and sensitive (something we see a great deal in the Brownie episode).

While I have never been a mother myself, a good number of my closest friends have been. Some of whom I could have NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS seen becoming mothers. Yet those people end up becoming some of the most amazing moms I've ever seen. Being a mom changes you, both physically and mentally in a way that I think gets glossed over in general storytelling. While I can't necessarily show that change much in Replica, I can at least give a nod to the fact that Cassandra, for all her flaws, is an amazing woman who I think would be an awesome mom! Thank you as always for your support!

[sevcasejay1chicago]

Hot- Jay Halstead, Matt Casey, and Kelly Severide

Summary: When you come down with a high fever, it’s up to your boys to help make it all better.

Warning: some language, EXTRA FLUFFY and EXTREMELY LENGTHY

Authors note: sorry it’s been a while guys. I’ve had two rounds of immunotherapy. Both times I had a reaction, which I’m still recovering from my latest infusion. I started writing this about a month ago when I came down with a high fever. Sorry it’s been a minute and I AM getting around to asks. Thank you all for the patience and the support. I love y’all!

—————————

You had been feeling kind of achy and tired for well over 24 hours. You insisted that you were fine and even brushed Jay off when he said you felt a little warmer than usual. Now, you wished you had listened to your boyfriend and stayed home with Matt and Kelly. Even though they are on shift now, you would at least be in your own bed.

“M’ fine. Jus’ need to lay ‘ere a bit.” You mumbled, laying with your face pressed against the back of the leather couch in the kitchenette. You had stumbled in here after leaving Jay to interrogate the latest suspect. You really weren’t ready to give in, but you knew you were about to have no choice.

“Y/l/n. You and I both know that’s bullshit.” Voight said, leaning on the table. “You either go with Halstead or go by ambulance. You and I both know you have a high fever.” Voight pointed out, crossing his arms as he waited for a response. Similar to Erin, you became like a daughter to him, so he was not keen on letting you fry your brain just because you were stubborn.

You sighed, pressing your palms into your eye sockets to try and stop the burning. “With Jay.” You grumbled, returning your arms back around your body as you violently shivered.

Voight nodded, though you couldn’t see him. He waved Adam in as the officer walked by, not wanting to leave you. “Adam. Go get a washcloth from the locker room and wet it with cold water. After you bring that to me, go finish the interrogation for Halstead. Y/n needs to go home and she can’t drive like this.” Voight instructed, kneeling next to you to test your temp with the back of his hand. “And grab that blanket she keeps on the back of her chair. She’s shaking.”

“You got it sarge.” Adam said, running off to do as he was asked.

Once the wash cloth and blanket were dropped off, it took Jay less than 5 minutes to get to you. “I heard.” He said to Voight as soon as he stepped into the room. “I’ve got it from here. Thanks Sarge.” Jay said, crouching down next to you.

“No problem. Just take care of her and keep me updated.” Voight said, patting Jay on the shoulder before he walked out of the break room.

Jay sighed, touching your forehead to check again for himself. He winced in sympathy as you leaned your burning forehead further into his touch with a whimper. “Shhhhh. I know. I’m gonna take you home.” Jay whispered, rubbing his thumb along the area between your eyes, knowing you get a headache there when you have a fever.

“Jay?” You whispered, shifting on the couch as you blinked sleepily up at your boyfriend.

“Yeah baby. Close your eyes. I’ll get our stuff together and take you home.” Jay soothed, moving the cloth that fell off the back of your neck to your forehead.

When the cold shocked your system and sent a shiver down your spine, you whimpered and reached for your boyfriend. “Hold me.” You whimpered, tears welling in your eyes. You felt horrible and all you wanted were your boys and your bed.

Jay sighed and contemplated it. The look on your face had him caving in seconds. “Okay baby girl. Okay. Come on. Up you go.” Jay whispered, helping you sit up before picking you up with your arms wrapped around his neck and legs wrapped around his waist. He cringed at the heat your face brought to his exposed neck, you having immediately shoved your face into the crook of it.

Kim saw the exchange and quickly walked in from her desk, draping the fallen washcloth over the back of your neck and tucking the blanket back around your shoulders. “Hailey has your stuff on your desk. We doubted she would make it down the steps without you carrying her. Voight said her fever is pretty high.” Kim said, rubbing your back through the fabric of your blanket and frowning at the heat you were putting off.

“Yeah. Do me a favor. Call Matt and Kelly. They should be at the station. I need them to pick up some supplies and meet me at the house.” Jay said, gently swaying with you as you whimpered.

“Sure thing. Whatcha need?” Kim asked, already pulling up her notes app.

“Thermometer, Motrin, Tylenol, Gatorade, her favorite popsicles, and some soup. Have them call Will to double check me.” Jay said, walking toward his desk as he spoke. “Thanks for all the help guys.”

Everyone waved him off, saying no problem or don’t sweat it. Comments offering more help or to call if you needed anything, along with well wishes to you, were said as Jay carefully walked down the steps to get to his truck. Once he had you in and buckled, Jay quickly rounded the truck and turned it on, turning off the high ac to set it at a middle temperature to try and keep the fever from rising, but not get you too hot or too cold.

Jay had barely pulled out of the station before his phone started ringing. Jay answered the phone from his steering wheel, not bothering to check the caller id as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Halstead.” Jay answered.

“Jay. What’s going on? Matt’s on the phone with Burgess and…” Kelly trailed off when he heard you whimpering. “Oh sweetheart.” Kelly murmured before whispering something to Matt.

“She’s got a high fever. I’ve never seen her this bad Sev. Kim is giving Matt a list of things we will probably need. Double check that with one of the medics or call Will and get it all before you come home. I’m gonna get her home and changed into something cooler and start working on getting this fever down.” Jay said, clutching the hand you gave him to hold, silently begging for the contact.

Kelly blew out a breath as he listened to Jay and then Matt. “Okay. Alright. We will run it by Brett. I gotta go tell Boden we are leaving. We will be home in less than an hour. I promise.” Kelly said before rustling could be heard and then Matt’s voice rang through.

“Jay. Is it bad?” Matt asked, sounding calm to your fever altered mind, but Jay could hear the concern.

“It’s not good. I couldn’t tell you her exact temp, but it’s really up there Matt.” Jay answered, glancing at you and squeezing your hand. He tried to relax some when you sluggishly squeezed back.

“Alright. Kim gave me the list, but Trudy is gonna contact a guy who owes her and get the supplies ready for us to grab on the way home. We will be there in half an hour tops.” Matt said, trying to sooth Jay knowing that you had to be in rough shape for Trudy to make the offer that she did.

“Okay. We will see you then.” Jay said, turning into your neighborhood.

“We love you. See you soon.” Matt said, hanging up before Jay could reply.

Jay sighed and carefully pulled in front of your town home. When he looked over, you had your eyes closed, but tiny tear tracks were shining on your face. “Baby.” Jay sighed, wiping your burning cheeks. You opened your eyes and sobbed, catching Jay off guard. “Hang tight. Shhhh. Hang on.” Jay soothed, climbing out of the truck and quickly coming to your side when he realized you needed him and you needed him right now.

As soon as Jay opened your door and unbuckled you, you flung yourself into his arms. He knew you got emotional when you were sick and feverish, but you have never sobbed like this when you were sick with a fever. Unless you were throwing up, being as that is the one thing you fear the most, you are normally just a little misty eyed. This was definitely different.

“Alright. I gotcha. I have you. Shhhhh.” Jay soothed, rubbing your back as he walked to the front door. Luckily, he was able to balance you and unlock the door. If anyone asked how he did it, he wouldn’t be able to tell them anything other than it being sheer will power. He was not going to set you down until he got you to the bedroom.

Once inside, Jay locked up and threw his keys on the entryway table before climbing the stairs to your shared bedroom. Gently, he sat you down and kissed your forehead before beginning to help you undress. You whimpered as the chill of the house hit your skin. Normally, the temperature of your house was a little warm when you first got home, but today it felt like an ice box.

“Jay.” You whispered, shaking as chills went through your body. “C-c-cold.” You whimpered, feeling like you weren’t getting enough air as you shook to the core.

Jay sighed and kissed your forehead. “I know baby. I know. Hang on. I gotta get you into just a tshirt. Your fever is very high.” Jay explained, rubbing your forearms to help you generate some heat.

“B-but ‘m s-so c-c-cold.” You groaned. “It h-hurts.” You whimpered, looping your arms around Jay’s waist, burying your face into his stomach.

“I know it hurts sweet girl. I’m so sorry. Matt and Kelly are gonna come home with some medicine and we will fix you right up.” Jay soothed, running his hand over the top of your head and scratching your scalp just the way you liked it.

Jay held you for several minutes, not keen on letting you go before you were ready. He breathed deeply and loudly, trying to help you guide your own breathing. You were hurting and trembling to your core, which was making your anxiety go through the roof.

Eventually, Jay pulled you off of him long enough to make eye contact with you. “Baby. Look at me.” Jay soothed, rubbing the tears from your face with his thumbs. Once you made eye contact, he started again. “We gotta get you out of these clothes. Matt and Kelly should be here any minute. We just gotta get you into a tshirt and then I’ll snuggle you until they get here. Okay?” Jay asked, searching your eyes as he spoke. He hated what he saw. Fear. Pain. Exhaustion. Vulnerability. You are hardly ever this vulnerable. Vulnerability is something you guys have been working on and Jay hates that your mind isn’t giving you a choice right now.

“Kay.” You whispered, sniffling and closing your eyes to try to stop the tears.

Jay cracked a small smile at your answer. “Okay. Let’s start here since I’m already down here. Mkay?” Jay said, stating it like a question, but he was really just warning you.

You nodded to show your understanding before Jay began removing your clothes. He carefully removed your shoes and socks, rubbing your feet slightly after they were removed. Your feet were boiling and Jay was surprised you weren’t more uncomfortable. After giving you a moment, Jay started unbuckling your belt.

“Do you think you can stand or do you need to lay down so that I can get your pants off?” Jay asked, massaging your hips with his thumbs as he spoke.

“Lay down. ‘M tired.” You mumbled, eyes still closed to try and keep the tears at bay. You knew that if you looked Jay in the eyes, you would lose it.

“Okay sweetheart. Lay down for me.” Jay said, standing to help lower your body to the bed with a hand to the back of your neck. Once you were down, Jay pulled off your pants and tossed them into the basket in the corner. Then, he pulled your favorite shirt over your head after he quickly removed your shirt and bra, which happened to be one of Kelly’s CFD shirts. Just as Jay slipped the shirt over your head, you both heard the door opening and shutting as your boys came in, plastic grocery bags crinkling as they whispered to one another.

Matt came running up the stairs with a bag in hand as Jay helped you get settled against the headboard. “Hey baby girl.” Matt cooed, climbing in the bed immediately since he had kicked off his boots downstairs.

“M-matty.” You whispered, opening your arms and making the same grabby hands for Matt as you did for Jay.

Matt easily scooped you up, letting you get comfortable in his lap. Or as comfortable as you could get. “Jesus.” Matt breathed as soon as your face hit the inside of his neck.

Jay nodded from his spot next to the bed. “Yep. Got the thermometer in there?” Jay asked, reaching for the bag that Matt had brought into the bedroom.

“Yeah. It’s an ear one. Put a cover on it before you stick it in her ear.” Matt explained, rocking you back and forth in his arms. “Now, what’s going on with my Princess, hmm?” Matt cooed, lightly running a hand up and down your back.

You sniffed, trying to hide your tears. “Jus’ hurts Matty. Everything hurts.” You mumbled in his neck, not wanting to move your face away from the comfort that Matt could provide.

“Okay baby. That’s okay.” Matt soothed, rubbing a hand through your hair. “Now, once Jay has it set up, he’s just gonna stick the thermometer in your ear, okay?” Matt explained, leaning back to look at you.

You nodded and waited. Once Jay had everything ready, you made sure to stay still so that you could get it over with. You didn’t miss the sharp exhale either of your boyfriends made at the reading.

“103.4” Jay read aloud, even though he was sure Matt saw the number.

Matt nodded before securing your head into his chest, covering your ears. “Kel! It’s 103.4!” Matt yelled to your other boyfriend downstairs.

A quiet “oh fuck” could be heard before footsteps raced up the stairs. “Oh baby. Hey Angel.” Kelly cooed, coming around to get a look at you.

As soon as Kelly came into view, you started sobbing again and threw yourself out of Matt’s arms and into Kelly’s. Kelly was quick to catch you as he looked between Matt and Jay.

“Sh Sh Sh. Hey Angel. It’s alright.” Kelly soothed, holding you tightly in his arms. “God. Your shaking.” Kelly muttered, burying his face into your hair as you buried your own into his neck.

“We gotta get that fever down.” Jay said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“We brought Motrin and Tylenol like you asked. We should start with Motrin and get her into a lukewarm bath.” Matt said, standing and racing down the stairs.

“I’ll go get the bath started then.” Jay said, hating that you were this sick.

“Hey sweetheart. We are gonna make you all better, okay? Think you can take some medicine for me?” Kelly whispered, lightly rocking you to try and sooth your shaking form. He knew it had to hurt. You were strong and fiercely independent, so this had to be bad.

You nodded your head, not bothering to move from Kelly’s neck. You always found comfort in their arms, hiding your face in their neck. It was something you did when you were in need of comfort. With your face in their neck, you felt like you were safe.

Matt wasted no time in grabbing a Gatorade and your meds before running up the stairs. Kelly gently coaxed you from his neck long enough to get the meds in and for you to drink some before you were shoving your face right back into its hiding spot.

“Alright baby. Your bath is ready.” Jay said, coming up to you and Kelly as Matt placed the meds and leftover Gatorade onto the nightstand.

“Nah- uh.” You said, shaking your head. Your voice was muffled by Kelly neck, but they understood you perfectly.

Kelly tried his best to hide a chuckle at your childish behavior. Your little voice and the way you wrapped your arms tighter around his neck was just precious. Matt smirked and shook his head as he looked at Jay who looked torn. Jay didn’t want to move you if you were truly content, but your fever said otherwise. Given the reactions from your other two boyfriends, Jay know he was gonna have to be the bad cop (every pun intended).

“Yes ma’am. Come on now. We just gotta get that temp down some. It’ll make you feel better.” Jay tried to coax, taking the gentle approach first. He didn’t want to force you if he didn’t have to. When he got no response, Jay groaned and looked to his other lovers. “Come on guys. Give me a hand here.” Jay said, clearly aspirated.

Matt shook his head and held his hands up. He was NOT getting in the middle of this. He knew where this was going. He knew exactly how this was going to end.

Kelly sighed before he slowly pushed you away. “Let’s go baby. Faster we do this, faster we can cuddle.” Kelly tried to bribe you, but had to look to Jay when you immediately started sobbing.

“Okay. I know. Come on.” Jay said, taking you from Kelly. Though you knew what was coming, you immediately snuggled into Jay as his scent, always a comforting smell, invaded your senses. You whined and sobbed loudly as Jay effortlessly stripped you of your tshirt before placing you in the tub. He didn’t even bother with your panties, knowing you would probably attempt an escape as soon as your feet hit the floor. Sick or not, you were fast and Jay had learned it the hard way a few years ago.

Matt and Kelly came running in when they heard you get set into the water, immediately thrashing and trying to get out. Kelly quickly stripped to his boxers and climbed in with you, holding you to his chest.

“Shhhh. I know it seems cold. It’s just lukewarm. Your fever is really high princess. Shhhhh.” Kelly tried to soothe, wrapping both arms and legs around you.

“Relax Y/n. Breathe.” Matt cooed, scooting close to the bath tub. He took your face into his hands to try to catch your eyes. “Look. Look at me.” Once you made eye contact, Matt continued. “There we go. This is gonna help but you gotta stop fighting. Stop fighting baby. Let us help you.” Matt soothed, rubbing a hand over your head, brushing back your fly aways.

Jay stood behind Matt, waiting for you to nod before he came up and wet a new washcloth. Matt and Jay immediately started running wash clothes over your face and body, desperate to get your temperature down and get you more comfortable.

Kelly kept a strong hold on you, even as you began to force your body to settle into his. He could feel you shaking against him, but was relieved to feel the shaking slow as your fever began to respond to the medication and bath. As the shaking stopped, your head lulled back onto Kelly’s shoulder and your eyes slipped closed.

“Jay, go grab the thermometer. I think it’s starting to lower enough to take her out.” Kelly said, hand placed gently on your forehead. He then placed a kiss on your shoulder as you whimpered, pushing yourself further into his hold. “Shhhh. It’s almost over. We just gotta see where your temp is before we get out so we don’t have to start all over.” Kelly explained, pulling you as close as humanly possible.

Jay came jogging back in and quickly placed the thermometer in your ear. “101.8. I think it’s safe to get her out.” Jay said, turning to place the thermometer on the counter. He grabbed two new towels as Matt helped lift you out of the bath tub. Jay tossed one towel to Kelly as Kelly stood and dropped his boxers in the tub. With the other, Jay unfolded it and took you from Matt.

“I’m gonna go get clothes for both of you. Hang tight.” Matt said, jogging into the bedroom.

“How you doin baby?” Jay whispered, sitting down with you in his lap.

“M tired.” You whispered, snuggling into Jay. “Bed?” You asked, not even bothering to open your eyes.

Kelly chuckled as he dried off, listening to the conversation as Jay replied. “Yeah baby. We can go to bed. We gotta get you into dry clothes before we do that. Can’t have you getting any sicker.” Jay said, rubbing the towel over your body. Luckily, you already had your hair up in a bun from work earlier, so that saved them from having to try to blow dry your hair for you.

“Does anything else feel bad sweet girl?” Kelly asked, coming to kneel down next to you and Jay just as Matt came back in.

“Jus my head. Maybe my tummy a lil.” You whispered, not really feeling up to talking.

All of the boys nodded, though you couldn’t see them with your eyes closed. Matt handed Kelly his boxers and pjs before he kneeled down to help get you dressed. “Alright baby. I have some new underwear for you and Kelly’s shirt. Jay, I also have some pjs for you.” Matt said, carefully pulling your wet underwear off. Matt had quickly changed into his own pjs so that he could just grab you and climb into bed once you were ready.

Once all of you were dressed, Kelly helped you settle into Jay’s arms while Matt attempted to talk you into drinking more. You were being stubborn, not wanting to put anything else into your already quivering stomach. You were exhausted and there was no way they were going to get you to do anything else but sleep at this moment in time.

“Fine.” Matt sighed, placing the Gatorade back on the night stand.

“Matt.” Kelly warned in a low tone. You immediately curled into Jay, hiding your face and shaking even harder at Matt’s tone. He sounded disappointed and your fever idled brain crumpled under the same tone your father used to give you when you didn’t do what he wanted you to do. Kelly and Jay took immediate notice, but Matt seemed to miss the sign.

“Shit baby. No no no. Please don’t cry.” Matt said, sighing and mentally berating himself. “I’m sorry baby. It’s okay. I’m just worried is all. It’s okay.” Matt was basically pleading this time, hating that he was the reason you were sniffling in Jay’s grip.

“Why don’t we all lay down, hmm?” Jay cooed, rubbing your back and kissing your forehead. When you nodded, Kelly and Matt helped Jay scoot down in the bed with you. You laid directly on top of Jay who had forgone his sweats and only laid beneath you in his boxers. Kelly turned the ceiling fan on high while Matt turned the floor fan up as well. Once everyone was comfortable, and an alarm was set to check your temp and get more medicine in you, you all snuggled together and fell into a semi-peaceful sleep.

[yellowhollyhock]

writing masterpost

TMNT

2003

Hello Cassandra

The turtles become uncles to Casey and April's baby. One Donnie-cenric chapter so far, more to come with focus on other turtles. All fluff

Weak Link

Mikey is going through a funk, feels like he doesn't contribute to the team. Leo takes his responsibility to convince him otherwise very seriously. Humorous

Home Again

A Donny-centric story about adjusting to a new home after Leo's return from training with the Ancient One.

Operation Peacekeeper

Leo and Raph have been tense with each other lately; Mikey and Donnie try staging fights as a possible solution/just straight up revenge. Humorous

Life At Best

Donnie tells his family about Kirby.

Turtle Faces

Raph gives Donnie a hard time--as well as some good advice--about his crush on Angel. The first installment in a series centered around aroace Raph giving relationship advice to his emotionally incompetent brothers, and Mikey.

Only Mikey is Allowed to be Mean, a Compilation

Mikey will protect his brothers, including from each other and even Master Splinter. Maybe he'll even stop picking on them occasionally, if they need it really badly. Humorous

Poems by Don Series

It's not really in character for Donny to be the poet, but consider: he's my favorite and I like poetry :]

Reflex

Sort of a character study; Raph takes a bullet for Leo

Glass Cage

Raph has a lot to process after Don's secondary mutation. idea credit to mousermayhem and therebelinred

Meeting Gramma

A self-indulgent otp fic about Donnie getting to know Angel's family.

Noisy Thoughts

A moment from BTTS; Mikey lightens Donny's load in the way he knows

2007

Have You Tried Turning It Off and On Again

Evil scientists capture and experiment on Donnie. This one's dark folks, stay safe. work in progress, slow updates

Stranger

Missing moment from the comics; how Donatello establishes communication with the creature that takes him

Unless It's Together

Raph and Donnie talk things out, at Mikey's insistence

Rise

Script

Donnie cheers Leo up (Leo makes it easy for him).

Resemblance

Donnie draws his eyebrows like Lou Jitsu

The Next Mutation

Safety First

short humorous fic where Mikey takes too long in the shower

It's Not Queasy Bein Green

A close up/fix it of Donnie's experience with Dr. Quease

AUs and Crossovers (still all tmnt)

[rottmntquotes]

Replacement

"I'm pregnant."

Those were the first two words that shattered Casey Jones' world as he knew it. Hearing his own mother say those words with such delight and excitement and every other synonym as she clasped hands with Leo, Casey's beloved adoptive father, was enough to make the young boy scowl with intense disdain. He hadn't even been in their family for a decade yet and they were already doing… this. Having another child without even asking if he was okay with it!

"Oh, my God! I can't believe this! We're gonna be parents, Cassie!" Leo cheered, hugging his wife close. His grip wasn't nearly as tight as it usually was, a sign of how serious he was taking the news. "This is the greatest moment of my life! I'm gonna be a father!"

Those words were the nail in the coffin of Casey's heartbreak. Seeing Leo so happy about a child that was actually his made Casey want to hide away from reality until death crept up with its sharpened scythe.

"I wonder if it's a boy or girl." Leo whispered, his eyes shining and tail wagging. "Oh! We have to tell everyone else! They're gonna be so excited!"

"If you say so." Cassie chuckled, looking over at Casey for the first time since the conversation had started. "Do you want to help us tell the good news, sweetheart?"

"I would, but I have a project I have to work on for school." Casey stiffly replied. His eyes stayed downcast, though he did his best to keep a small smile on his face. "But, uh… update me on the family reactions?"

"Of course! Anything for you, Case." Leo chimed, ruffling Casey's hair before using his Ōdachi to open a portal to the lair.

The minute both mutants left, Casey burst into tears, curling up into a corner and getting lost in his thoughts.

Why did they want another baby? What did Casey do? Was it because of his past? Was it something he said?

"I didn't mean to do it." Casey sobbed, crying himself into a dreamless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Casey! You won't believe it! Everyone else freaked out!"

Cassandra rolled her eyes with a fond smile at Leo's exaggeration, loving how eccentric he could be. Of course, he meant that the family reacted positively, albeit with the initial horror upon realizing that Leo and Cassie had actually been sleeping together.

Which had been an incredibly awkward conversation in itself.

"Don't worry about anyone being upset, Casey. You know how your father tends… to…" Cassie trailed off upon catching sight of her son sleeping in a nearby corner. "Oh, sweetie… Leo! Come here!"

"Yes, my sweet darling?" Leo purred, wrapping his arms around Cassandra with a smile.

"Ugh, stop it. Look at our son." Cassie huffed.

Leo obeyed the command, pity and despair instantly filling his heart the moment he saw Casey. "Ah, geez. Looks like the poor kid's stressed about school."

"Yeah. I'll have to get April to help him." Cassie sighed. She smirked as a sudden thought came to mind. "But I think something else might help him sleep better."

"Oh, God. Please tell me you aren't talking about a-"

"Daddy Drop-off!" Cassie cheered, clapping and bouncing on her toes.

Leo groaned and facepalmed for a moment, complaining briefly about how this wasn't fair. After doing so, Leo reached out and picked Casey up, carrying the boy to his room and setting him down.

Or, he planned on setting Casey down. It didn't really turn out that way considering how Casey instinctively decided to cling to Leo like a baby koala.

"Cassie… Cassie…! Cassie! He won't let go!" Leo shouted, frantically trying to shake Casey off.

"Just pry him off!" Cassie replied, laughing at Leo's whine of "I'm trying to!" in response. "Oh, you poor thing!"

It took nearly an hour to get Casey in bed, but the result was worth it when Leo was able to see his boy peacefully sleeping in the comfort of his own room. The next step was for Leo and Cassie to get themselves situated; adoring the news for just a few more hours before dozing off as well.

To them, this was perfect.

If only they'd known the pain they were causing their son.

—----------------

It was over a period of days that Leo finally noticed a shift in the dynamic of his home.

While his relationship with Cassandra had gotten so much better, it seemed as if his relationship with Casey had gotten so much worse. There were barely any moments of closeness amongst the two males of the home, and one would have to be blind to see it.

Even Donnie could see it when he visited his twin!

"So… how was school today?" Leo asked during one particularly nice day at dinner. Everyone seemed to be in a decent mood, so he'd hoped that he could get at least a word or two out of his son. "Anything to report?"

Casey stayed silent, continuing to eat his food with no specific expression.

"Casey, your father asked you a question; it would do you well to answer it." Cassie sternly huffed.

With a scowl, Casey stopped eating for just a second. "Everything is just fine."

Leo sighed, knowing that it would be best to end things there. "As long as you're doing okay."

For a moment, Casey seemed to relax, looking up at Leo with interest, though that quickly disappeared when Leo met his gaze.

Oh, how Leo wished he knew what was going on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Leo learned that Casey was starting to spend more time with Raph, the Slider didn't know if he should feel betrayed or relieved. It was a good thing that Casey felt safe enough around the others to talk to them about… whatever was going on, but the fact that he didn't feel safe or comfortable enough to tell his own father was heartbreaking.

"I just don't know what to do." Leo whimpered as he sat next to Donnie in the lair's lab. "I don't know what I did!"

"You are joking, right?" Donnie replied, raising a false eyebrow in shock.

"Uh, no?"

"Oh, my God. Okay, does this sound familiar: "Oh, I'm so happy that I finally get to have my own biological child, making it a point to let everyone know and/or think that I would rather have them over the adopted child I was gifted and didn't even consult about this life changing decision!"?"

Leo mulled over the rant for a few seconds, processing the concept before properly losing his cool. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!"

"You flew too close to the sun." Donnie hummed. "And made a baby with it."

"I have to tell Cassie! We have to make this right!" Leo shouted. "Thank you, Donnie! You're a genius!"

"And you're just now realizing this?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BAM!

"CASSIE, I'M A BAD FATHER!"

Cassandra Jones sighed and ran a hand down her face, incredibly glad that Leo wasn't strong enough on his own to break their front door off its hinges. "What are you talking about, Leo?"

"Donnie helped me realize why Casey has been so mad at me lately!" Leo replied, tears welling up in his eyes as he threw himself into Cassie's arms. "We made this little bundle of joy without asking if Casey even wanted a sibling, and now he thinks we don't want him because we have our own baby!"

Cassie did just as her husband had, processing the information before gasping and throwing a free hand over her chest. "OUR POOR BABY!"

Both parents spent a good amount of time blaming themselves for their actions, crying and thinking of whatever they could to make things up to Casey. Eventually, they decided that intense apologies and pampering for as long as Casey desired were the route they were willing to take.

As long as it made him happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Your parents are really trying their best, Case. You know that. They're just… excited to give you someone to spend time with and look after!"

Casey rolled his eyes at his uncle's attempt of comfort. This was the hundredth time that Raph had tried to make Casey accept the situation, yet nothing he said seemed to work.

"The least they could have done was ask me if I even wanted a sibling! But no! My opinion as someone who isn't even their real child isn't that important, apparently!"

"Casey, that isn't true, sometimes adults just do stuff without thinking. Like sleeping with each other without protection. Dumb turtle instincts."

"Ugh, Uncle Raphael, please…" Casey shuddered and blushed, disturbed by the mere thought. "I don't want to think about that."

Raph opened his mouth to apologize, jumping in surprise upon hearing his brother and his sister-in-law racing into the lair whilst apologizing profusely. He moved to the side so they could fall to their knees and beg for forgiveness, slightly horrified by the way Cassie nearly fell onto her stomach.

"Casey, please! We didn't mean to upset you like this! If anything, we thought you would LOVE having a little brother or sister!" Leo shouted. "I know we haven't been the best parents as of late, but please let us make it up to you! Any way works! Just name it!"

"Will you get rid of the baby?" Casey asked.

"Absolutely not!" Cassie hissed.

"Fine… then… will you stop acting like it's the only child you have?" Casey nervously asked, hoping that he didn't sound silly for asking such a question.

"Of course. Even though we have a biological child, you will always be our first and strongest baby." Cassie agreed, placing a hand onto Casey's cheek. "No one will ever compare."

Casey smiled, pulling his mother into a hug and letting tears fall. He looked at Leo and gestured for him to come closer.

"Yeah, buddy?" Leo asked.

He didn't expect to have Casey's hockey stick slammed between his legs.

"NO MORE CHILDREN!"

[sunnythdmsbi]

Oh god, Tapakah, you got me bawling on the floor. I had no warning whatsoever. I knew from context clues that he...died. I was just trying to protect myself from thinking about it. Oh, Cass. Her baby, her promise, her world. Nothing is worse than that. It's a mercy that she died. Nothing can prepare you. He never even lived. Raph, Leo, Donnie, and Mikey couldn't raise him. They couldn't look into his eyes. Feed him. Love him. Tell him stories about his awesome Mom. April didn't meet him. Cass couldn't love him. None of them got to be amazing uncles or Mom's.

The universe never gave them a chance. It was to cruel to even let them hear his voice. To see him cry. To laugh. To see him fail and get back up. He never had a chance. None of them did. Even though they adopted an orphaned baby, a baby that's keeping them together despite the crushing reality they live in, it will never make up for that loss. That baby isn't Casey, he isn't ours. But he's an apolagy, a miracle, a kiss from the universe saying, "I'm sorry".

No wonder Mikey's subconscious blocked him out from the world. He watched his dad die from sickness, killed his father, watched April sacrifice herself, watched Cass die while giving childbirth, and Casey...god, I can't even say it. It's too much. My heart can't handle it. I still don't know exactly what's going on with his Ninpo and why there's two of him in his head. But all I know, is this isn't ending well. You said it yourself. All we'll have is bittersweet, a before of despair and an aftertaste of a broken heart that gained only a bit of clarity. Pieces. Remnances. Then nothing.

Man, Tap, you got me being poetic. Only fics do this to me. You're a special case, though. Besides Cass, because I know when that series ends, all hell will break loose in this fandom and everyone, including me, will be crying in our pillows and missing something that's still there. Or maybe just me, idk. I'm way to emotional for this world, man.

Anyways, L.O.V.E absolutely had me bawling, but this is too much. I'll still finish this series, just because I love you and you're awesome, but I'll be finishing this at the expense of my mental health. And my heart. Whatever goes first. All the love, though. Just, if I've already had to experience pretty much everything in this post, then I'm done for.

Mikey, oh god, Mikey. This update is gonna keep me up, man. And I have a lot to do tomorrow. Not mad, I'm just disappointed at myself for not waiting to read this till tomorrow. This is one of those parts that I'm not gonna be able to go back to. Unless I wanna have a breakdown, I can't.

Tap, you're amazing, all of you are. But you guys specialize in some really heavy stuff, man. I know you guys are just trying to be real and realistic with the fandom and the reality of what this type of world ending stuff entails, but...I think some of ya'll tend to not hold back, dude. Anyways, gonna read the next part and hope to god it doesn't hurt worse than this. I have a soft spot for turtles, what can I say?

Love the song choice. I can tell this also hit you with the feels since it's all you put under this update. I'm getting the feeling your a big fan Of Monsters and Men. They make some good music. And some of their songs really do fit well with the emotions your trying to get across in these updates. Yellow Light was treacherous. All of those animatics you've made have hurt my soul so bad.

Part 7

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[jerzwriter]

Magic...

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Kaycee MacClennan) Rating: General Words: 2017 Summary: Ethan rushes home from work when he can't get in touch with Kaycee, only to stumble upon a wonderful surprise.

A/N: This is a follow-up to "Do You Want to Know a Secret?" what happens the next day? This also incorporates a prompt request from @lucy-268 hug from behind. I hope this makes you all smile. 💕

A/N2: @choicesmonthlychallengejune2022, Day 7, Baby NOTE: This was originally an Ethan/Casey converted to Ethan/Kaycee. I did not update the text... bear with me :)

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIO.

Kaycee's face scrunched as the bright morning sun poured in the bedroom window. Squirming under the thick, down comforter, she turned to her side, seeking to escape the vile ball of fire that was denying her the last moments of precious sleep. But there was no getting away. 

"Ethan," she groaned, "Can you please shut the blinds. I still have some time to sleep."

Without opening an eye, she waited patiently for his voice to confirm, or for the room to go dim, but neither occurred.

"Ethan?" She repeated. "Ethan?"

Bewildered, she sat up with a startle and gasped aloud when she saw the time on her phone. 11:00 AM. How could they have overslept? Her? Yes, it happened on occasion. But Ethan? Never! And she knew he would be displeased.

"Ethan," she exclaimed, turning to his side of their king-sized bed, only to find it empty.

"Oh, that's right!" She grumbled as she collapsed back against her pillows. Maybe it would be better to take a moment to wake up because right now, her mind was in a haze, and the pieces were starting to come together slowly. 

Last night, the opera, falling asleep, Ethan insisting they leave, and her dozing off yet again. This morning, when he returned to the bedroom from his morning shower and found her sound asleep as her alarm clock rang incessantly in her ear. He insisted that she must be coming down with something or suffering from sheer exhaustion. Either way, he demanded she stay home today. No questions asked. Kaycee had balked, insisting she was fine, but as she started to argue with him, her eyes shut once more, and the next thing she knew, the sun was waking her at 11:00 AM. 

This was unlike her, but she had been working even longer hours than usual the past few weeks, and perhaps her body just needed a day of rest. She'd never admit it to him, but it looked like Ethan was right. Stretching, she got out of bed and headed to the kitchen for her cup of morning, uh, almost afternoon coffee. She felt guilty as she prepared the cup and put a sliced muffin in the toaster. She felt just fine, maybe she just needed a little more sleep, but there was no reason to stay home all day. Not when she had patients who needed her. She grabbed her phone.

The toaster popped, and Kaycee placed the muffin on her plate. Grabbing her cup of coffee, she went to sit at the table to eat when, suddenly, she felt the floor shift as the room began to spin around her. Thinking quickly, she put the hot coffee on the counter and steadied herself on her feet.

That’s weird, she thought, grabbing the cup again and slowly making her way, this time to the couch. 

After settling, she took a sip of the bitter brew, assuming it would be just what she needed. After all, this is what started her day, whether that day began at 5:00 or 11:00. That’s all she needed, she thought as the precious liquid hit her tongue and then….

“BLECH!” she yelled, looking down at the cup as if it had betrayed her. “What the hell did I put in there?” She asked aloud as she returned to the kitchen, confident she would find that she had accidentally placed something other than coffee in the machine. But no, it was coffee. In fact, it was her favorite brew from Derry’s. Maybe Ethan was right, she began to worry; something was wrong.

She began to run the symptoms in her head. She thought of the patients she had treated. Was there anything she may have picked up from them? But nothing stuck out. The fatigue, dizziness, her tastebuds betraying her, what could it be… then her hand covered her mouth as she let out a quiet gasp.

“Oh, my God!”

She didn’t even want to allow herself the chance to dream. Many years had passed since she and Ethan decided to start trying for a baby. Over two years passed with endless disappointment and no conclusive answers as to why they couldn’t conceive. And it was just six months before when they had given up hope.

She recalled the night they tearfully accepted that parenthood might not be in the cards for them. They tried their best to convince themselves it was for the best. After all, they had demanding careers, they were set in their ways, and maybe there was a reason it wasn’t happening. Sure, they were sad, but they had each other. They’d be fine. They’d be better than fine - they’d be wonderful. They had so much to be grateful for, and they meant it. They knew they’d be OK, even if they had to let go of this dream.

And after that night, neither let the other know how often their minds became lost in thoughts about what might have been. When they’d pass the hospital nursery, see a child running in the park, or learn that yet another friend was expecting, their hearts would break a little.

Kaycee's heart began to race, and tears rushed to her eyes as she tried to quell the hope she felt rising in her chest. She picked up the phone to dial her husband, then immediately hung up. She couldn’t tell him. She would be crushed if she was wrong, but there was no reason to put Ethan through that. She had to be sure before she said a word. Darting to her bedroom, she threw an old sweater over her head and fished a pair of jeans from her closet. Within minutes she was heading out of the building on the way to the local pharmacy.

When she returned, she had five pregnancy tests in her bag… she wasn’t leaving anything to chance. Tossing her purse onto the bed, she rushed into the bathroom with all five tests in hand, and when she was done, she laid them out on a towel and waited… alone. She almost gave in and called Ethan, but she just couldn’t. She wasn’t even allowing herself to believe it could be true. She had peed on these things countless times before, only to find a solitary blue line staring back at her each time. There couldn’t be a different outcome, and she wouldn’t break his heart again.

That’s when she realized she was trembling. She was scared. Sienna. She could call Sienna. But, no. If anyone should know, it should be her husband; if she wasn't telling him, she told herself she’d have to bear this alone. So she turned the dial on the timer, placed it on the sink, and then sat back to wait.

~~~~~~~~~~

1:45 PM. 

Heads turned as Ethan jammed on his brakes, bringing his car to a screeching halt. Based on the glares from fellow residents, he was confident he’d be one of the first three topics of discussion at the next condo board meeting, and he didn’t care.

“Hey,” he hollered, capturing the attention of the new doorman. “Catch!” was the only other word he spoke as he hurled the keys to his new Mercedes in the man’s direction.

“I’m not supposed to park your car!” the flustered gentleman yelled after Ethan, “it’s against the rules!”

But Ethan was already halfway through the lobby by then. And he wasn’t lamenting giving the keys to his fifty-thousand dollar vehicle to someone he had now officially met twice. After all, he had something far more valuable upstairs, and she was due for work forty-five minutes ago but did not show. Ethan called once, no answer. Ten minutes later, he called again. By the time the call reached voicemail, he was already on his way to Edenbrook’s parking lot.

He had no recollection of the elevator ride, walking down the hall, or fumbling with his keys as he attempted to enter their home. His only memory was the overwhelming sense of relief that washed over him when he heard Kaycee inside their home. Then, how quickly that relief vanished when he realized he was hearing her cry from several rooms away.

“Kaycee,” he yelled as he sprinted through the condo, finally finding her hunched in a corner next to the footed tub.

“What happened,” he gasped, collapsing to his knees beside her. “Are you OK? Did you fall?”

“No,” Kaycee sniffled, suddenly aware of his presence. Wiping her nose on her sleeve, she asked, “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at work?”

“I am,” he agreed. “And so are you. You said you’d be in at one.”

Kaycee slapped her forehead with the back of her hand when she realized the time. “Oh my God! That’s right! I completely forgot that I said I’d come in! I’m so sorry!”

“When you didn't answer your phone….” Ethan’s voice trembled. “Kaycee, I thought the worst!”

“I can imagine! I’m sorry… I’m so, so…” she stopped, and her eyes went wide, “but… but wait! You have to get out of here! You can’t be here!”

“Why on earth not? What’s going on?”

“What’s going on is you’re ruining everything… I need you to leave. I need you to go back to work,” she demanded. “Right now!”

“And are you coming with me?” He asked while examining her eyes, “Are you sure you didn’t hit your head.”

“I’m sure,” she said with a gentle laugh.

“OK, now you’re confusing me even more. Why are you laughing? You scared the shit out of me, and now….”

“I know! I know,” she interrupted him, pulling close as a bright smile replaced the tears on her face. “It’s just that… after all we’ve been through… I wanted things to be perfect. I was trying to dream up this big romantic gesture… but I guess this is all we really need.”

Ethan was perplexed, taking her in with a furrowed brow as his mind began to race. “Romantic?” he asked as the pieces began to fall into place, but he refused to allow himself to believe. 

“Yes! Romantic. But, this will have to do,” she beamed, grabbing an assortment of plastic sticks from the floor beside her and handing them to her husband with a smile on her face.

“There are five of them,” she enthused, “all positive… so that’s pretty accurate… right? This has to mean… right?”

“Kaycee,” Ethan replied, his voice a hoarse whisper, “what… what are you saying?”

“I think we’re going to have a baby. I mean, five positives, chances are good….”

“Statistically speaking, with five positives, then there is almost no chance that you’re not… that you’re not…” he looked down at the tests in wonder, then his crystal blue eyes returned to his wife’s. “Kaycee… you’re pregnant?”

Kaycee nodded frantically as tears began to spill again. “Yes!” she gasped, “Yes, it looks like I am!”

Ethan’s body collapsed against the tiled wall behind him as shock began to melt into joy.

“We’re going to have… you… you’re going to have…. We’re….”

“We’re going to have a baby!” she gushed as she straddled her husband’s lap, leaning in for a tender kiss.

His lip trembled, and a small puff of air escaped him. Kaycee was sure she had never seen him smile quite like that before. He pulled her close, her back pressed against his chest as his hands gently reached around and gently cradled her lower stomach. 

“We’re having a baby,” he sighed, kissing over and over again, “You’re going to be a mom.”

“Which means you’re going to be a dad,” she laughed.

“We’re going to be parents.”

“We are,” Kaycee smiled. “Should we maybe go sit someplace more comfortable to celebrate?”

“Sure,” he whispered, “in a moment, but for right now, don’t you dare leave my arms.  Because I don’t want this magic to end.”

Kaycee turned to face him, placing two kisses atop his head.  “Silly man,” she smiled, “don’t you see? The magic has just begun.”

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[girlinlotsoffandoms]

she's her daddy's girl, her momma's world - chapter 26

the house that built me

It's moving day for the Severides!

Read on AO3 or below!

“Maya? Where are you?”

Stella stood quietly in the middle of the loft, listening for any sound the hiding toddler might make. Sure enough, after a few beats of silence, Stella heard a muffled giggle from the living room. One of the few still-empty boxes in the living area shifted a little and Stella smiled. She quietly crept over to the box and waited.

Seconds later, a curly little head slowly creeped out of the box. When Maya didn’t see her mom, she poked her head fully out of the box. That’s when Stella made her move.

“Boo!” Stella called out, a smile on her face.

Maya screeched then started laughing hysterically. Stella laughed as well and lifted Maya out of the box. “What are you doing silly girl?”

“It’s moving day mama!” Maya answered, a playful but serious tone to her voice. She pointed to the box her mom had just pulled her out of. “I helping pack.”

Stella looked in the box and saw that the almost four-year-old had thrown her blanket, favorite teddy bear, and a handful of books into the box. She smiled. “I see that! But we’re not moving until tomorrow….and we’re definitely not packing you in a box.” Stella finished, tickling the little girl’s belly.

Maya was still laughing when Stella sat her back on the ground. “Why don’t you bring the rest of your books out and put them in the box, huh?”

Maya nodded and ran off towards her room, eager to help with the packing.

Alone again, Stella looked around the loft. The walls were bare, surfaces and shelves were empty, and boxes were everywhere. It had been a long time coming, but the Severides were finally moving.

It was a bittersweet decision. The loft held so many memories for their family. It’s the place where Kelly and Stella transitioned from roommates to boyfriend and girlfriend. It’s the place where they celebrated their engagement and found their way back together after Stella went MIA. It was the place where they got ready for their wedding and the place they brought their daughter home from the hospital to. Be it holidays, birthdays, milestones or celebrations…the DNA of the Severide family had been etched into the walls of apartment 702. The loft had served them well, but it was time to say goodbye.

Maya was getting older and more active, and Kelly and Stella had also come to the agreement that they were ready to start trying for another baby. They needed more space; somewhere with a yard and plenty of room for their growing family.

The move had happened sooner than expected. Stella wasn’t even pregnant yet and they had just started talking about moving when they found the house. It needed a little bit of work and some updates, but the bones were good. It was in a nice neighborhood, the yard was a nice size, and there were plenty of bedrooms, bathrooms, and living space to grow their family and host their friends for years to come. It was perfect.

They got it for a steal, able to negotiate the price down because of the work that was needed. Maya loved it, staking claim to the room she wanted, and Casey offered his contracting experience for the fix-up process. He and Kelly were going to take their time fixing the house up since there were still 6 months left on their lease at the loft.

Then their building caught on fire.

The damage was minimal, and the side with their loft was completely unscathed, but the landlord gave them the option to break their lease early. After discussing the repair timeline with Matt, Kelly and Stella decided to end their lease at the end of the next month.

Forever thankful for the family they had at Firehouse 51, their teammates had all volunteered to help with the home repairs and packing, and the once daunting month and a half timeline flew by.

The house was finished and the loft was mostly packed. Kelly and Stella had been slowly moving things over to the house the past few days—lesser used household items or newly purchased furniture—but the time had come for the rest of their belongings to make the move to the new home. 

This was their last night in the loft.

Stella’s stroll down memory lane was interrupted by Maya’s return to the living room, her little arms holding far more books than they could handle. More books ended up on the floor than in the box. Stella just smiled, shook her head, and helped Maya pick them up and stack them in the box. They made a few more trips back into Maya’s room to pack up the last of her things, leaving only the necessities she needed for the night and the following morning.

They were taping the box shut when Kelly arrived back home. He’d been working at the new house, assembling furniture and clearing out empty boxes for tomorrow’s move, and stopped to pick up dinner on his way home.

The family ate dinner picnic style in the living room, their tables, chairs and other furniture having already been moved to the new house, sold, or donated. Kelly and Stella couldn’t wait to get their furniture back, but Maya was loving all the temporary arrangements.

Much to her parent's relief, Maya had handled all the changes and the move incredibly well. She’d always been a very go-with-the-flow little girl but Kelly and Stella had worried about how Maya would handle the move and leaving the only home she’d ever known. So far at least, all those worries were for nothing because Maya was more excited about the new house than they were. From the moment she saw the house and picked out her room she’d been talking non-stop about how she wanted her room decorated, what games she wanted to play in the backyard, and when she could have her next sleepover with Ella and Otis.

Although it would be a while before they hosted a sleepover for 3 energetic little kids, Kelly and Stella appreciated Maya’s enthusiasm. It was making the entire process that much easier.

Once dinner was finished and cleaned up, Kelly and Stella helped Maya pack the last few items in her room. They got everything ready for the next day and the three settled into bed, Maya sleeping in the bedroom with her parents since her bed had already been moved to the new house.  

It was an earlier bedtime than normal, the city of Chicago still lively outside their windows, but moving day was tomorrow. The start of their newest adventure was tomorrow. Another beginning to forever started tomorrow, and they couldn’t wait.

                                                 … … …

Morning came quickly and the craziness of moving started the minute their feet hit the floor. Stella dropped Maya off at the Halstead’s house, Hailey having volunteered to take the toddler for the day. It was a weight off Kelly and Stella’s shoulders—they could get things done quickly without having to worry about Maya getting caught underfoot and Maya could have a fun day playing with Ella.

After dropping Maya off, Stella headed to the new house to meet Brett, Chloe, and Cindy Herrmann. They were going to be cleaning, unpacking, and organizing while Kelly and the guys brought the rest of the stuff over from the loft.

It was a long day, filled with several trips to and from the loft, but with the help of their friends and teammates, they were able to finish just after noon. Kelly and Stella treated their friends to lunch and drinks as a thank you and they started trickling out soon after, leaving Kelly and Stella alone.

There were still some boxes to unpack and walls and rooms to decorate, but the house already felt like home.

It wasn’t long after their friends left that Kelly and Stella left, heading back to the loft one last time.

They had cleaned as they packed, and the landlord was having it professionally cleaned after they turned in their keys, but there were a few things they wanted to tidy up now that the boxes were gone.

The couple made quick work of the last bit of cleaning and Kelly took the final bag of trash out to the dumpster, leaving Stella alone in the loft.

Stella had never seen the loft empty before. When she first moved in as Kelly’s roommate, he’d already been living there for a while.

It was…. weird to see a place with so many memories and history empty. Stella walked slowly through the space. She ran her hand over the counter on the island, the place where many meals had been prepped and cooked. She moved from the kitchen to the open space where their living room had been, the place they’d hosted parties and celebrated holidays with their family and friends. Stella visited the bedrooms next, hers and Kelly’s first, then the second bedroom that had once been hers then Matt’s, and finally Maya’s.

She was making her way back into the loft’s main area when Kelly arrived. Stella had stilled, looking out at the loft and the city of Chicago through the large windows. Kelly walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

“You OK?” he asked.

Stella nodded. “It’s weird to see this place so empty.”

“I know,” Kelly agreed, quietly. He took a look around the loft. Apart from Matt and Gabby’s place, the loft was the first place he lived after losing Shay. It was with him through an embarrassing number of hookups, losing Anna and his dad, and best of all, marrying Stella and welcoming Maya into the world. “There’s a lot of memories here.”   

Stella hummed in agreement.

They both stood in silence for a minute, replaying everything that had happened within the four walls of the loft. The good, the bad, the happy, the sad, the sleepless nights, the early mornings, all molded and sculpted them into the people they were today.

The loft might not be their home any more but it would always hold a special place in their hearts. They were better people because of their time spent in the loft. 

After another minute to silently say their goodbyes, Stella turned to Kelly with a smile. “Let’s get our kid and go home.”

“Yeah,” Kelly agreed, leaning forward to kiss Stella. When he pulled back, he gave Stella a smile. “Let’s go home.”

Stella smiled back. Home. She liked the sound of that.

[ninacarstairss]

same here 😭😭😭 my little life update is that i’m literally dead because we are understaffed at work so i’m basically spending more time there than at home or anywhere else. i don’t know what kind of absolute shit luck we have in there but all the people we’ve hired have lasted for about a week or decided to not even come in the first day. so yeah, work will be our death. yay. it’s so unfair 😭😭 i need to reblog posts and talk to people and post nonsense too. i need to lay in my bed surrounded by scented candles and simba and be on tumblr. i miss you and it’s so unfair that adulthood is keeping us apart

okay i’m gonna need to see some of those bereals 😂 i need to see the amazing bookshelf!!! you know i’m the first fan of your amazing bookshelf!! i have good news tho!!! casey mcquiston got me out of the reading slump again!!!! i finally read i kissed shara wheeler and oh my fucking god!!!! i loved it so much!!! honestly, i was a little afraid because it was YA and i was so used to something different from them so i postponed the reading until now, and i’m so mad at myself that i did!! god i love how you can recognise their writing, some lines and ways of saying, it’s so casey and it’s amazing!! also chloe, shara, rory and smith are my babies and i love them with my whole soul. i ended up in tears once again. have you read it??

oh god i really miss fanfics 🥺 i haven’t read one in so long. and honestly i hate it when i want to read but i can’t and i end up spending hours dumbscrolling on ig or tiktok. it feels like wasted time i could have spent reading, but my brain just can’t work.

oh i love the description of “my first alice oseman” it’s such a comfy idea. i will read it soon and let you know <3

yayy!!! how long are you staying abroad then?? when would the semester start?? god i can’t wait to hear all about that!!! (are you excited for the cold part or for the birthday part?? 😂 i think i know the answer but still)

OH MY GOD!!!! NERO I AM SCREAMING!!! THAT IS PERFECT AND AMAZING!!! oh my god i cannot wait to see how it turns out!!! i love the idea of the hands like that and the chain with the key and ring— that’s always been my biggest weakness, the way alex slides the ring next to the key and thinks about two homes side by side 😭😭😭 it will be such a perfect tattoo!!! also :))) a little idea for henry’s tattoo?? :)))))

yeah :,( i always forget that it actually takes time to get a tattoo done, so i can’t get like fifteen in one day 😂😂 i was planning six past time i went, and four of them were writings, but two of them were pictures that needed shading and a lot of work so like, it makes sense i couldn’t make it 😂 but still i finally got to have my radio silence quote and my green carnation!!! i’ve been waiting so long to get them 🥺

WHAT???? okay what uni is this?? can i join?? when do we start?? nero this class is gonna be amazing. and a big hug to whoever the teacher is because they chose heartstopper so i love them unconditionally. i’m so happy you found this class!!! i know you’re gonna love it so much and i can’t wait to hear all about it!!! i hate it when they have these mind numbingly boring lit classes because lit can be so amazing, but if you’re just stuck in the past and in the same interpretation of the same text it’s just pointless. glad you dropped it for your own sake

i have something to share on that front!! i finally got a permanent contract!!! i mean i’m not staying in that shop forever (obviously, you’ve heard all of my complaints lol) but still this is gonna mean a steady income for a little longer and a way of saving up!!! but also, i had to celebrate, so i got myself a trip to paris!!! i’m gonna go have my heartstopper vacation and i mean that literally. i am planning to visit the exact same places and get an ice cream on the steps of the sacre coeur, i am planning to see that bust of dalida tara and darcy get pics with, i am even planning to take the stairs up to the eiffel tower. i know, i am gonna die but i’m committed 😂 i’ve seen paris a few times already but i’m gonna see it in a whole new light now. last time i went i was with my high school so i have some horrible memories of that trip. also, we’re doing disneyland and versailles!!! because i just had to do disneyland, i’m 5 years old inside

yes you definitely should :D

oh heartstopper colouring books <3 another thing to heal our inner child. i don’t know about you but this was right next to my sticker anxiety, i could never colour a book because it felt like ruining it 😂 anyways i’m making us some biscoff cheesecake (yes i tried a recipe, it’s perfect) and biscoff latte in perfect autumn style <333

hello nero my beloved soulmate!!!

i have pride stories!!! i went to pride this saturday and it was so much fun i need to tell you all about it!!!

well first of all i really hate that i had to work in the morning because it made me so tired and it was the first weekend of sales so yea, not fun. but anyway, my friend picked me up at 3pm and we got to florence. we had to park pretty far from the meeting point and then take a bus, and it was amazing because we were totally lost looking for that bus and at some point we see a bus full of people with rainbow flags, glitter, signs, flower crowns, rainbow stickers and temporary tattoos and all of that. and we just went in, no questions asked. we just figured we’d follow them out of the bus too 😂 i love our people honestly. we were so colorful

anyway we got to the meeting point and it was deadly hot. i swear there were like 45 degrees. but it was so amazing to be around all of those people dressed in all colors and wearing all sorts of things we’d usually be judged for, it felt so safe. except that there was a religious protestor so we got to give him the finger like the heartstopper cast did :)

also my sister came with me. she’s always so supportive and it meant the world that she came with me. anyway the parade started and there were some amazing floats. there were rainbow families, drag queens, all the lgbtqia+ associations from our territory and we started walking behind this float that had amazing music, so we started dancing and singing and it was so much fun!!! we got to talking with some people, there were some amazing signs that were just perfect and i had to go there and tell them how much i loved them :) it was just so fun, i loved meeting random people and it was just the perfect environment. at night there was also a dj set and a band singing to keep the show going!!

then when we were walking back to the bus stop at night we got the whiplash of not being surrounded by queer people anymore. we got catcalled like fifteen times in the span of three minutes. i kinda wanted to punch everyone because we had such a perfect day and i hated that we had to go back to the real world where people are shit 🥲

but still i got so many amazing memories and now all i want to do is book a flight to london for next year and have you come with me so we can celebrate together and see the heartstopper cast!!!!

also, i got a new tattoo yesterday!! and i actually had red white and royal blue with me to distract me so i almost finished the book again and cried in from of my tattoo artist lol it took me the whole day again and it was so painful but so worth it!!! i got medusa on my leg 😻

also, as to our previous letter i just wanted to say that of course i believed in you!!!! i knew you could do it!! but i can definitely believe you had to close your eyes to open that message 😂 getting grades back is always so stressful!! now manifesting a spot for the exchange 🕯️🕯️🕯️ i really hope you get it!!! it’s an amazing experience, you’d definitely love it!!!

and i’m really glad you found someone who specialises in what you need. it can take a while to find the right therapist but i hope this one works out!!

(i’m also writing down sydney and melbourne for when i’m rich enough to visit 😂 i literally booked a flight for august and my bank account kinda yelled at me to stop spending money i don’t have lol)

anyways i’m really sorry i’ve been away for so long, i had a crazy week between the beginning of seasonal sales, pride and the tattoo appointment. i kinda didn’t have time to do anything 🥲

i’m giving you a hug and some homemade chocolate chip cookies with biscoff cream on top <33

hello cece my beloved soulmate!!!!

oh my god i've been so excited to hear about this!!!

that sucks you had to go to work, boo!!! but at least you were off early enough to still go to pride!!!! and how cool that you got to share the experience of going on the bus with all the queer people!! i bet there was no straight and/or cis people on that bus 😂😂😂 just follow the rainbow!!

hot days are the worst, but pride would have made it so much better. i would not be focused on how sweaty i was or the temperature with the amount of queer joy happening around me! it's so wonderful that in a parade full of people and colour that you were able to feel so incredibly safe, and it would have been such an intimate moment for you! and fuck that religious protestor, i'm so glad you gave him the finger. the heartstopper cast would be so proud of you :')

oh that warms my heart that your sister came!!! that was so nice of her to come with you!! the floats sound amazing, and the singing and dancing!!! i am feeling some of the joy through my screen!! seriously, cece, this sounds like the most incredible time. i want to cry just thinking about you having so much fun with your friend and your sister, celebrating your queerness and talking to new people and singing and dancing like there's no one else around 🥲🥲🥲

the trip home must have been so dull in comparison! and how dare those people catcall you, i hope you gave them the same treatment as that religious protestor because seriously what the fuck.

the only thing that matters now is that you had a safe and wonderful time at pride and you can cherish those memories for the rest of your life! and yes, we must do it!! i will literally stay for an extra month just to go to pride in london with you <3

oh my god yay!!! i bet the medusa tattoo looks so cool! and yes reading rwrb while getting tattooed is properly not your best idea, but i'm already rereading rwrb any chance i get to annotate it fully before the movie so i can't say much 😂

okay, cece, i must let you know, because i said to myself i would let you know as soon as i could. but this morning, i woke up (quite late actually). i checked my watch for my notifications. i see an email waiting for me. i die a little inside realising it is from the exchange team at my university. i run out to grab my phone from where i charge it. i speed past my mum. i unlock my phone. i open my email and click on the newest one. and.... I GOT A SPOT EARLY!!! AT MY FIRST UNIVERSITY TOO!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? i'm still in so much shock and i thank you for your manifesting and belief in me!!! oh my god i have so much to do before then (mostly saving money ngl 😂) but oh my god cece, i'm going to england for exchange!!!!!!

me too!! i just need to find the time to get a referral, so i can go and see them!!

(literally sydney and melbourne are lowkey expensive, but it is totally worth it!! and i would be more than happy to tell you where to go and where to stay! <3)

do not apologise!!! we are all busy! i am literally working the equivalent of a full time job over the next two weeks and i'm also dogsitting over the weekend :') pray for my poor soul.

i'm giving you the biggest hug i hope contains the same warmth as pride and i'm fighting off your customers so you can have a few moments to breathe <3333

[cocosstories]

Pete Davidson One Shot

Pete Davidson Valentines Day

Warning: Smut

With Valentine's day falling on a Sunday, the day after a SNL taping, you had told your boyfriend Pete, it wasn't necessary to celebrate.

"Just being at the show with you is enough babe. Honestly, people make too big of a fuss over this holiday anyways."

You had said and honestly ment it. Pete was quite the romantic guy, always surprising you with little gestures, so you didn't need a specified day for him to go crazy, especially when he had to work.

The show was great. Pete had a weekend update spot that was hilarious, as usual, ending it with a quick little side note about you.

"Before I go Che, I would like to say a huge Happy Valentines Day to the love of my life Y/N. You have been with me through so much in the last two years and helped me to become a man I can be proud of. I love you so much baby."

He finishes with a huge collective 'Awww' and applause from the audience along with Che and Colin both looking a bit surprised with the sincere nature of the message.

"Wow Pete, that was really beautiful. Y/N is a lucky girl."

Che says, still a bit in shock.

"Yeah she is, and lucky for me, she didn't run when she found out my penis was only three inches."

He adds, the crowd erupting with laughter.

"Ah, there he is. Pete Davidson everybody!"

Che laughs and Pete rolls off the set and walks over to you.

Still laughing, he walks up and asks what you thought.

"You are the sweetest man I have ever met but come on babe, your penis is four inches. Well almost. Don't short yourself."

You joke and Pete kisses you with a chuckle.

The rest of the show went by in a blur and soon, it was time to head home, back to your shared apartment in the city. You were tired but so happy you got to spend the night with your love.

As you make your way off the elevator and towards your door and notice a envelope taped to it. You turn and look to Pete who shrugs with a big smile on his face.

"Pete, what did you do?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Maybe you have a secret admirer or something."

He tries to sound innocent but you can see right through it. You pull the envelope from the door and open it, pulling out a beautiful card.

'I love you so much and cannot imagine my life without you. Anytime I try, its like a nightmare and I have to reach for you to make sure its not real. You are the love of my life, my best friend and everything I could have ever asked for and more. Thank you for saving my life. I will spend the rest of my life repaying you for the gift that you have given me, if you will have me. Turn around."

Tears well up in your eyes as you read the thoughtful and heartfelt words Pete had written for you. You read the last two words and turn back towards the door that is now open.

String lights hang from the ceiling, flameless candles line a pathway leading from the door towards the living room which is just out of view.

Rose petals are scattered all around as your eyes land on Pete who is in the middle of it all, down on one knee, holding a small velvet box.

Your hands fly to your face, covering your mouth as the tears break free and stream down your face.

"Pete..."

You get out just as he opens the box, revealing the most beautiful and perfect ring you could have ever imagined.

"The card pretty much says everything. I love you Y/N. You are the reason the pain from the past is nothing more than a distant memory. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes! Yes! Of course I will marry you Pete!"

Pete stands up and you jump into his arms, kissing all over his face.

A moment later, he sets you back on your feet and placing the ring on your shaking hand.

"Its perfect Pete. I love it."

You stare at the new accessory on your finger then look up at Pete.

"How did you do all of this?"

He leads you further in the apartment after closing the door and you notice more of the new decor.

As you get to the living room, you see what looks like a big air mattress against the couch and surrounded by a lighted set of curtains made to be a makeshift tent hanging from the ceiling. The mattress covered in blankets and pillows and a serving tray sitting in the middle with champagne and chocolate covered strawberries.

Right next to the tray, is two sets of matching heart one piece pajamas and a stack of what you can only assume is romance movies.

"My mom and Casey came over after we left. They really came through huh?"

Pete wraps you in his arms from behind as you take the whole scene in.

"I can't believe they did all of this. Its beautiful, I love it."

You walk over to the makeshift bed and pick up the matching pajama sets, handing one to Pete before going to the bedroom to change.

Once you are both in the pajamas, you join Pete on the air mattress. Pete has picked a movie and pour you each a glass of champagne.

"Happy Valentines day baby."

You say, tapping his glass with yours before taking a sip.

"Happy Valentines day my love."

He says after taking a sip himself.

You lean in to kiss him, letting the whole day wash over you and fuel the already deep burning fire you feel for your future husband.

Breaking from your lips for just a moment, Pete takes the tray between you and carefully moves it and your champagne glasses off the bed to the coffee table that has been moved off to the side.

You watch as he unzips his pajamas then powers himself back down, hovering over you with one hand holding his body weight as the other unzips your pajamas.

You shimmy out of the pajamas and Pete goes to work on your body, his lips connecting with your neck and not leaving your body until he reaches your lace panties.

He looks into your eyes, his filled with fire as he pulls them down, your legs already shaking in anticipation.

"So wet already Princess. All for me?"

He licks his lips as he pulls off his boxers, freeing his excited member.

"Pete, I need you. Please baby I need you inside me."

You look up with begging eyes and he finally gives into your wishes, pushing inside of you as you moan out, gripping the blankets around you.

The two of you find a rhythm quickly, you wrap your legs around his waist pulling him deeper inside of you as you dig your nails into his back.

"Fuck babe, you're so tight. Shit."

Pete groans out as you buck your hips wildly as you scream his name, begging for more as you feel the sweet release so close.

Moments later, you and Pete come together, riding out your highs with sloppy kisses and easy thrusts.

You end the night in his arms, lightly kissing his chest and looking at your ring again.

"So, when would you like to make it official?"

Pete asks, pulling you out of your thoughts. You look up as him with a smile, thinking for a second.

"Tomorrow."

You answer, half joking. Pete kisses your forehead with a chuckle.

"For real though, soon. I cannot wait to become Mrs. Pete Davidson."

He takes your hand in his, kissing it lightly, just under your ring.

"Whenever you want my love. Just tell me when and where and I'll be there. Even if its just a justice of the peace on a Tuesday afternoon. I don't care. I just want you to be my wife."

You knew he meant it. No matter what you wanted he would be fine with. All that mattered was spending the rest of your life with the man you love.

[sylvies-chen]

Kisses on the nose + Brettsey? 🥰

Joe sits next to Mouch in the Med waiting room, facing Severide's room where Casey and Brett stand at the doorway ten feet away as the whole firehouse waits for results. Chloe sits on his other side, her fingers firmly intertwined with his.

He'd been in that sinking ship. He'd run out of air just like Severide and Capp and Tony. They'd all done their best to get the last victim out alive and they'd succeeded. But somehow, by some dumb stroke of fate, Severide ends up being the only one entering the ICU. He's the only one who's still unconscious, in danger of damage from lack of oxygen to the brain. It's messed up, Joe thinks. Because he's got a wife, a baby on the way, but Severide's got Stella. He's got this house, he's got a wedding to plan. He's got just as much to live for as the rest of them. So why does the universe think it's fair to pick and choose like this?

He zones out thinking about it but when he snaps out of it and looks back up, he sees Casey leaning against the door frame to Severide's room. Sylvie stands next to him, places a hand on Casey's arm, and... kisses his nose?

Joe stares in confusion as the two smile at each other. When he turns to Chloe she seems to have noticed the same thing and gives an incredulous smile. He turns to Mouch, who doesn't seem to have noticed or cared, and nudges him on the shoulder. "Psst!"

"What?" Mouch asks once his attention is caught by Joe.

All Joe does is point towards Casey and Brett. "When did that happen?"

"Huh," Mouch awes, a wistful grin spreading across his face. "Dare I say that's been going on longer than any of us thought."

"Capp! Baby!" All of a sudden, the two men hear a cry coming from the hall next to Severide's room. Everyone from the firehouse has their attention drawn to the source now-- even Casey and Brett, who jolt apart from the nose kiss-- as Joe sees a familiar blonde running down the hall in distress.

Capp gets up from his seat and rushes over to her. "Maisie, what are you doing here?"

"I heard what happened and rushed over here from Lakeshore. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he assures her as she brushes her fingers over his cheek.

It's Mouch turn to stare in shock, his eyes moving to Joe as he asks the same question Joe asked him but with about ten times more shock. Because Brett and Casey sort of make sense, but this? This one's a doozy. Cruz knows the feeling.

"When did THAT happen?!"

Cruz really doesn't know what to say to that. All he does is sour his face into an awkward frown as he shakes his head. "Yeah, I can't-- I can't explain that one."

What can he say? Some things fit, some things make sense, and some don't.

++++++++

"He's going to be alright." Sylvie appears next to Matt with a voice so steady and reassuring it could make him cry. He doesn't look to his side though, doesn't bother meeting her eye. He's not ready for that yet so instead, he peers into Severide's room and watches as Stella holds his hand by his bedside.

Everything that happened at the pier flashes through his memory, burnt on the back of his eyelids. Severide’s still in critical condition and honestly? He’s a mess thinking about it.

"I don't know..." He hesitates, his voice coming out hoarse and shaky. "The doctor hasn't come back with an update yet."

"I know," she nods. "But he'll be alright. I have faith."

He finally turns his head to her, looks in those deep blue eyes. They pierce into him with so much love and comfort that it makes him feel like if he kept looking, he just might be okay. It's insane. "You're doing it again. Making me feel better," he tells her with a weak but teasing smile.

"Good, my plan is working," she teases back.

He looks at her, then back at Severide and Stella. He has to wake up, he knows that. He just has to. He's Matt's best friend, which makes dying absolutely prohibited, so maybe she's right. Maybe he will wake up.

"Thanks," he nods.

"Always." It's all she replies with before placing a hand on his bicep, rubbing gentle circles with her thumb, and then going on her tip toes to press a kiss to his nose. It's something new, something alarming. Something wonderful. They've never had a public display of affection before and she’s certainly never kissed him on the nose like that. It makes his heart skip a beat; it surprises him.

His brows furrow in confusion as he blushes. "The whole house is here."

"I don't care," she replies, her eyes intense and comforting. "Unless... you do?"

"Not at all," he assures her, a smirk growing on his face. "I say let 'em stare."

She giggles, continuing the pattern of gentle circles on his arm with her thumb, and Matt thinks that with her by his side, he might actually believe that everything will work out.

And then Capp's alleged girlfriend comes running down the hall crying Capp's name, and provides a whole other bewildering distraction.

But hey, he never was one to judge someone's happiness, no matter how unexpected it is or how hard it is to believe. He sees this girl-- Maisie, apparently-- and all of the worry she held for Capp and can't really stand there and criticize it. After all, he didn't expect to fall in love with Sylvie.

Maybe unexpected isn't so bad after all.

[uswntxfootball]

i don’t want to watch the world end with someone else (jackie groenen x muwfc!reader)

a media takeover day makes you realize just how bad you are at hiding your feelings. 

word count: 2634 ish

rated P for painful pining, C FOR CHEESY AS FUCK, and F for fluFF ciTY.

song inspo: clinton kane’s i don’t want to watch the world end with someone else

——

“so is everything clear?”

you and jackie exchange a glance and nod.

casey smiles and says:

“good good. it’ll happen tomorrow so just make sure you follow the guidelines that i gave, though i have no doubt you two will do just fine.”

with that said, she gave a wave and left the call.

you lean forward closing the laptop that sat on the table in front of you, before leaning back on the couch behind you.

jackie promptly laid her head on your shoulder, and you wiggled your arm around her, settling it around the back of her neck, her hand coming up to grasp yours.

your heart threatened to explode out of your chest at the act.

this wasn’t uncommon between the two of you.

you were always holding hands wherever you went, always touching, and always flirting.

this of course, didn’t go unnoticed.

as a result jackie and you have dismissed thousands of press and fan questions, with each and every “we’re just friends” sending a dagger through your heart.

yet here you were, quarantined with her in manchester, holding onto the foolish hope that things might work out.

falling in love with your best friend wasn’t part of the plan, but there wasn’t anything you could do about it now.

“y/n.”

“hmm?” you hum out, watching the girl beside you play with your fingers absentmindedly.

“what if the fans think i’m boring?”

you sit up abruptly and jackie turns to look at you.

“jacks. you’ve got to be joking right? if there’s people who think you’re boring, i don’t want to meet them,” you huff.

jackie rolls her eyes.

“well that’s you. you’re biased you don’t count.”

you gasp in mock offense.

“i don’t count? how rude i- this is how i get treated for-“

jackie cut you off while pulling you into a hug.

“oh shut up you big baby.”

you look up at her and stick your tongue out at her, an action which she returns.

getting a little lost in her eyes, the two of you maintained eye contact for an unusual amount of time, the tension almost tangible.

it’s only when jackie’s phone buzzes on the table that you both break away, cheeks red.

you clear your throat quickly and stand up.

looking at jackie’s flushed face you tease:

“you know you’re cute when you blush.”

her face flushed even redder.

“oh shut up.”

~~

you woke up the next day at the same time you normally do.

the girl beside you was still fast asleep and you couldn’t help but stare a little at the sight.

her hair a mess and currently taking up more than half the bed with her limbs strewn about, you couldn’t be more into it.

there was just something about her.

you shook your head softly.

breaking your eyes away, you began getting ready for your run.

logging into the manchester united instagram page, you recorded a quick video greeting everyone for the day.

“hi everyone! i’m y/n, a forward for manchester united, which you probably knew already, but i’m going to be taking over this account with jackie today!”

after a little pause you continue in a whisper.

“i’m getting ready to go on a run right now, trying to be a little quieter because a certain midfielder is still fast asleep.”

“she snores too,” you added quietly with a giggle. “but i’ll be back in a bit guys!”

jackie would get you back for that later.

you got back from your run about half an hour later, with the midfielder still asleep.

changing out of your running clothes, you made a quick breakfast and some coffee for the two of you, and opened the account again.

you prop your phone up in front of you and begin recording.

“so i just got back from my run, made some breakfast, and guess who’s still asleep.”

you point towards the door behind you.

“hint it’s jackie. i even made her breakfast too. i think i should get like a “best friend in the world” award or something. i’m way too good of a friend to her. anyways that’s it for now, i’ll update you if sleeping beauty ever wakes. bye!”

you finished your breakfast while scrolling through twitter, smiling when you see some of the fans freaking out over the prospect of the two of you quarantining together.

after a little bit you heard the door behind you open, looking up to see a very sleepy (and frankly very cute) jackie groenen in it’s place.

your heart fluttered in your chest.

“coffee?” you offer, grinning at the enthusiastic nod that jackie gave you.

jackie’s cheeks flushed a little when she looked around.

“you made me breakfast?”

“well since someone slept in of course i did.”

the midfielder rolled her eyes and smiled, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek before she walked over to the counter.

you felt like you were going to pass out.

if jackie noticed your shallow breathing and flushed cheeks, she didn’t comment.

“have you recorded anything yet?”

you nod, taking out your phone to show her the account.

she pauses for a moment before propping the phone up in front and starts recording.

“hi guys! i hope y/n didn’t bore you too much this morning-”

you cut her off with a gasp.

“me?! i’m obviously the fun one here! she-ow!’

jackie interrupted you with a punch.

you pouted, rubbing your shoulder.

“see she bullies me too.”

“oh she’s so dramatic,” jackie says while rolling her eyes.

the two of you get so preoccupied with bickering that you forget all about the video.

it’s only when you turn a little bit when you notice.

“damn the fans are gonna get the jackie-y/n quarreling special today.”

jackie snorts at that, deciding to post the 2 minute video with the label you had so lovingly created.

the story post read:

“an early christmas present for the muwfc fans; featuring a 2 minute jackie-y/n quarreling special”

followed by a post that read:

“we’ll be going live in around an hour so make up some good questions for us!”

while you were posting those, you missed the loving smile and stare from the girl next to you.

~~

you grinned when you saw the next question.

“has jackie found out about your post from this morning yet?”

jackie turned to look at you, her eyes narrowing.

“what did you say?”

“hmmm nothing nothing”

“no what- tell me!”

you pretended to think for a moment before answering:

“hmmm nope”

you let out a squeak of surprise when jackie’s fingers suddenly dug into your sides.

“fine! fine! i’ll tell you!” you relent, your chest heaving slightly.

“i just said that you snore is all,” you answered quickly.

jackie gasped loudly.

“i do not!”

“yes she does she-“

your sentence gets cut off when jackie pulls you into a headlock.

“you can’t silence me! jackie snores li-“

she slapped a hand over your mouth.

“okay anyways. let’s keep goin-ew y/n!”

jackie pulled her hand back with a grimace, you smiling triumphantly.

“she licked me,” jackie whined, wiping her hand on your shirt.

a few seconds later her hand settled on your thigh, and you swore you saw her smirk when you inhaled sharply.

a little flustered, you cleared your throat quickly before turning to the screen, noting the incoming flurry of comments about how cute the two of you are together.

jackie read the next question.

“are you guys dating?”

she gave the camera a wink when she said:

“y/n wishes.”

you rolled your eyes.

“we all know you want to. i mean who wouldn’t want to date me? i’m just the hottest person you’ve ever seen and-”

“oh and she’s cocky too,” jackie added with a grin, letting out a laugh at your expression.

you turn back to screen in time to catch another question.

“can jackie play something for us?”

jackie excitedly answered a “yes”, before standing up to grab her guitar.

you shuffled over to the other side of the couch when jackie got back.

here you sat watching the midfielder talk animatedly about her song choice.

you didn’t hear much of it, instead getting lost staring at the dutch girl, her smile wide and eyes sparkling.

“y/n what do you think?”

it snaps you out of your daze.

an “i think you’re beautiful” flashed through your mind, but what came out was:

“uh i-sorry what?”

jackie giggled.

“i’ll take that as a yes then.”

a soft guitar melody filled the air a few seconds after.

this was going to be a disaster.

~~

when jackie started singing you promptly forgot how to breathe.

you could feel your heart racing in your chest, butterflies exploding in your stomach.

her voice filled the air, and her presence was absolutely intoxicating.

strikingly blue eyes met yours during the chorus, and when she smiled softly you seriously felt like you were going to pass out.

and i wish we didn’t say goodbye

cause we’re just standing still

and i don’t really know what tomorrow holds

your heart was threatening to explode, and the three words you’ve kept buried for so long were beginning to make their way out from the back of your mind.

you didn’t know if you could make it to the end of the song.

you didn’t know if you could not tell her.

but i’ve finally realized

if this is our last goodbye until we’re gone

who cares about the wrongs we’ve caused ourselves

cause i don’t want to watch the world end with someone else

it didn’t help that jackie kept smiling at you, her eyes locking with yours and making your brain and heart go into overdrive.

it didn’t help that jackie was just so utterly attractive.

no, it didn’t help at all.

while the two of you were off in your own little world, the fans were going crazy, many picking up on the loving glances the two of you exchanged.

~~

the livestream ended not long after the song did.

and when it did you were torn.

do you keep it to yourself?

or do you risk it all for the measly hope that by some miracle she liked you back?

your heart preferred the second.

and in a game of internal tug o war, your heart won.

“jackie.”

the midfielder whipped around to face you.

fuck she’s pretty.

“i’m-“

fuck.

the words were sitting right on the tip of your tongue.

“i-“

jackie gave you a confused expression.

“you’re what?”

“i forgot to tell you that uhm-“

fuck the words. the words were right there. just say them.

jackie tilted her head to the side, puzzled.

“you forgot to tell me what?”

you cursed at her internally for being so cute.

“i-“

you gulped.

you can do this.

its just three words. three-

“i didn’t do the laundry.”

fuck.

jackie’s puzzled expression turns into a teasing one.

“that’s what you were so nervous to tell me? come on i’m not that scary am i?”

you shook your head, cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

“hey look, we can do it together then,” jackie said with a smile, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the room.

~~

shit.

this turned out to be way harder than you thought.

you had tried, multiple times on multiple occasions.

your tongue however, wouldn’t let you.

each and every time you failed, coming up with the strangest excuses for your bumbling.

you’re pretty sure you accidentally said that you forgot to fold the dishes once.

jackie just thought it was cute.

though your relationship didn’t change much, you did notice a persistent blush on the midfielder’s cheeks whenever you held her hand.

you didn’t comment on it though.

~~

jackie’s sitting next to you on the tiny kitchen counter.

the two of you are having dinner, having just come back from training, bickering about soccer (or as jackie called it, “football”) and how she missed her shot last game.

which was ironic because being this close to the midfielder made you feel like you were missing your shots.

anyways.

“oh come on it wasn’t like i was trying to miss!”

“could’ve fooled me,” you laugh, jackie gasping in offense.

“like you could’ve done any better.”

“yes i could! in fact i have a higher shooting accuracy than-“

“oh come on that was based off of our shots from like ages ago!”

“potato pota-“

“y/n!”

you smile at jackie’s indignant outcry.

“i’m just better at soccer than you,” you tease.

“one it’s football. two no you’re not.”

“yes i am.”

“no you’re not.”

“i am.”

“you’re no-“

“i love you.”

jackie stops talking.

your eyes go wide when you realize what you said.

jackie’s voice is soft when she stammers:

“wh-what?”

“i-“

you take a deep breath.

welp. here we go.

“i love you. and i’ve been trying so hard not to say it, but you make it so hard for me not to and i- i’ve been in love with you for years now jacks and i just i can’t help myself. it’s like im-“

“y/n. stop.”

you didn’t hear her.

“it’s just you. all the time. when i wake up and when i go to sleep and it doesn’t help that we’re quarantined together which is why i was trying to hard not to say it because if you hated me and this all goes to hell what would we do? i’m sorry if i’m screwing everything up i didn’t even plan on saying it today it just happened and i-“

you’re cut off from your rambling when jackie launches herself at you.

you’re frozen, with jackie hugging you tightly, unsure of what it meant, whether she hated you or not.

then.

a whisper so quiet you almost don’t hear it.

“i love you too.”

you almost fall off the counter.

you look at her with wide eyes, your heartbeat in your ears, worried that you might have heard her wrong.

“you-what?”

jackie pulls back to look at you.

fuck she’s so gorgeous.

“i said i love you too,” she whispers, looking down and looking almost the tiniest bit shy.

god you want to kiss her.

“do it then,” jackie challenges.

your ears heat up a tiny bit, realizing you said that aloud.

“are-are you sure?”

she nodded, and upon seeing your hesitation just decided to do it herself.

she tilts your head up by your chin and all of a sudden your mind goes blank.

everyone always talks about how the perfect kiss feels like fireworks, but you didn’t feel that here.

instead you felt like you were floating, with only the girl in your lap keeping you grounded.

one of jackie’s hands was on your cheek, another tracing on the back of your neck, and you felt weightless.

she broke the kiss after a while.

your heart was pounding so hard it was a miracle you were still alive.

the two of you sat quietly for a while, jackie on your lap with her head against your chest, until she broke the silence.

“that song was about you if you didn’t know.”

your heart fluttered again. the things she did to you.

“really?”

jackie nodded.

she looked up and before she kissed you she whispered:

“you’re the only one i’d want to watch the world end with.”

[writinggarbage007]

The Captain's Assistant

Chapter 1

Steve Rogers x dark! reader, Avengers x dark! Reader

Summary: After 3 years as Cap's assistant and being treated like nothing, you are captured by Hydra and everything changes.

Warnings: swearing, dark themes, abduction, torture, cannon level violence. 18+. If you are not comfortable with these themes don't read.

Will update warnings on each chapter.

Slight AU

You hated your job.

Taking the job of being Captain America's assistant had been a favor from your father's friend, Nick Fury. You had been downsized and couldn't find a job no matter how many resumes you sent. However, you didn't know at the time it would turn into being assistant to everyone but Tony Stark. Too bad, considering you actually liked him.

Leaving work on a Wednesday night at 9pm was typical. Then there was the call after midnight, Wanda and Natasha were drunk and needed a ride home. Haven't these people ever heard of Uber?

Dropping them off at the compound, leaving them with the nice security guard you got halfway home when a text went off. Pulling your piece of crap car to the side of the road you read;

Mr.MetalArm: I'm out of condoms. Can you bring some to my room? 1:14 am

*Eye roll*

You reply with "15 minutes"

Seriously? Driving back you smile at the gate guard, swipe your badge and share an eye roll with the security guard at the door and head to the supply room. Dropping the condoms off to the Winter Soldier as he stood in his boxers and a voice behind him whines "Hurry up, baby". You almost want to tell her he won't even remember her name the next day but you turn and leave. Not even a thank you from Weiner Soldier.

It's after 2 when you finally get home and all you want to do is sleep. Dropping off you wonder how you got here. Taking care of a whole team of Superheroes. Any time you tried to say no to helping the team your boss, Captain Asshole would say "I consider it a favor to me when you help them."

Of course those favors never got returned.

Thursday 5:06 am

Your text alert goes off and you groan. It's only been less than 3 hours since you got home and already they are at it again. Rolling out of bed you ignore the second text alert and make your way to the bathroom to pee. Taking your time, you linger longer than normal washing your hands, splashing cool water on your face.

Finally returning to your bedroom you snatch your phone off your dresser to read your messages.

Captain Asshole: I need you here by 6 to coordinate a mission briefing. 5:06am

Captain Asshole: Please confirm you got my text. 5:08 am

Rolling your eyes you respond with "on my way sir". You've been up for 10 minutes and the rage is already simmering.

Breezing through the front door of the compound, you take a deep breath and walk quickly to the big glass enclosed meeting room. Your arms are loaded down with boxes from the bakery in town. Silently you bless Lucy at the bakery for opening early for you and giving you the treats she had just finished. You owed her a big drink. Of course you ate one while driving to work but no one would count them.

After arranging the pastry and donuts on big trays you set about making coffee in the big urns in the kitchen. As if the smell had summoned him Hawkeye, Clint Barton stumbled into the room giving you an angelic smile when you just sighed and handed him a go cup without him ever speaking a word.

Moving the heavy urns you then grabbed the folder with the mission briefs and headed to the copy room. You didn't read them just assembled the reports into individual folders and laid them out on the table in front of the chairs. When that task was finished it was almost 8. You fussed with the placement of the trays, stacked the go cups, and checked for the creamer each Avenger used and the level of the sugar container.

The elevator dinged and out stepped Nat and Wanda. Both looked no worse for wear after their night out and you sighed. It just wasn't fair.

Next out of the elevator is Captain America, Steve Rogers. Or as you secretly called him Captain Asshole. His little boyfriend Bucky aka the Winter Soldier followed. You called him the Weiner Soldier because he seemed to have a new girl every three weeks like clockwork. How many of them had you had to go down and talk to when he was done with them.

Always sending you with the same excuse. "I just don't want to hurt their feelings."

Right because having your best friend's assistant break up with them for you is so much better. Two of them had to be removed from the property and a third now has a lifetime restraining order against her so she can't be within 100 feet of you. Why? Cause the bitch thought you were keeping her from her true love. The thought of Casey made you glare at Bucky.

No one noticed, as they were all assembling plates with pastry and making coffee.

Cap speaks up and says "Tony should be here shortly so let's get started."

Not a thank you in sight.

As you turn to leave Cap clears his throat and speaks again. "Y/N, I sent you a list of errands I need done."

"On it Cap."you reply with what you are sure he doesn't notice is a condescending smile.

No nap today. Dammit.

As you leave the building and head toward the parking garage Tony Stark steps out having an intense conversation with someone you assume on his phone. He smiles and waves to you and you do the same trudging into the garage.

Of course your car won't start. Heaving a sigh at this crap day you get out, grab your purse and phone and head for the motor pool manager. Explaing the situation wastes more time and he finally hands over the keys to a big SUV.

You check your email to see what the list is and sigh again when you see a second email with a list for the team. The email explains they will be leaving tomorrow and don't have time to pick up their own shit. You just roll your eyes and start the drive to town.

The errands complete you head back to the compound with a taco salad in the passenger seat. It's almost 3pm and you haven't had lunch after running from place to place. Hopefully when you drop off their items, including the shampoo and conditioner you had to drive 40 miles out of the way to get for Natasha, you could eat.

As a truck that looked a lot like a mini tank hit the SUV at a red light you thought to yourself "Today sucks!"

The men in black who drag your battered body from the car and throw you into the mini tank don't say a word. It's been about 30 seconds and you see no one around to help. When they inject you with something that has you floating away you mutter to yourself "Fucking Avengers".

[golbrocklovely]

cake tasting // colby brock

A/N: so this isn't a request, but i saw this tweet that talked about two ppl who were friends going into a bakery and trying wedding cake, and i just knew i had to write something based off of it. i could only imagine how cute it would be to go and do this with colby, omg. anyway sorry i haven't update anything else yet. i haven't been extremely motivated, but i'm gonna try to write thru out the week and hopefully get something else out to yall soon :) lmk what you think of this. hope you enjoy !!

prompt: you and colby go to a bakery and pretend to be engaged to try wedding cakes. you have a crush on him, but he doesn’t have one on you. or does he…? cuteness ensues.

trigger warning: PURE FLUFF BB, sickeningly sweet

word count: 1535

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you sure we should do this?" Colby asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

I rolled my eyes at his nervousness. "Of course! I've done this before."

"How often do you do this?" He snorted, turning to look at me for a moment.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Occasionally. Mostly when I'm really in the mood for cake but don't know which type I want."

"I just feel bad about it. I feel like I'm stealing." Colby bit his lip uncomfortably.

"Well, I usually end up leaving a nice tip and buying some cupcakes, so it at least seems like I was interested." I replied.

"Wait, how are we gonna pass as a couple?" Colby doubted.

"Did you think I came unprepared?" I lifted my hand to show a big 'engagement' ring.

Colby gasped dramatically. "Jesus, you're gonna make them think I'm made of money with that."

I laughed. "Lucky for you it's fake, much like our impending marriage."

"Whatever you say, Mrs. Brock." He snickered.

We pulled into the parking lot next to our destination, Casey's Bakery. I slid out of my seat and followed Colby. When we got to the front door, Colby opened it for me. With a light bell ring, the immediate smell of baked goods hit me as I stepped inside. I crossed my arm through Colby's, walking up to the counter. A white haired, older woman stood behind the counter, her back to us. She spun around, a sweet smile coming to her face.

“Hello! I'm Casey, welcome to my bakery. What can I do for you two today?” She greeted.

I grinned back happily. “Hi! We were wondering if maybe we could try some samples of your cakes? My fiancé and I are planning our wedding, and we thought we might as well try some cake while we're out.”

“Oh! Is this the fiancé?” Casey guessed.

I nodded lightly. “Yes.”

“That's wonderful, congratulations!” She beamed. “What are your names?”

“I'm Colby, and this is Y/N.” Colby chimed in.

“You two look so young. How old are you?” Casey questioned.

“We're both 23.” I admitted.

“Oh, you're babies! Okay, is there any type of cake you're thinking about for the wedding?” She inquired.

I pursed my lips. “Um... no, not really. The wedding is still a long ways away.”

“When is it?” She asked.

“Ahh, next year... sometime in September. No final date just yet.” I stuttered. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Colby nod.

“Oooh, a fall wedding. Might I suggest trying the carrot cake first then? That's usually our most popular for fall weddings.” Casey informed.

“That sounds great. We'll try that first.” I agreed.

“Goodie. You guys can go take a seat, and I'll be right out with your cake.” She mentioned, smiling.

I returned the smile. “Thank you so much.”

As Casey rushed off to the back, I sat down at the closest table. I finally realized, looking around, that no one else was in the bakery but us.

“How did you come up with that?” Colby queried, surprised.

I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“The date of our 'wedding'?” He responded.

“I'm good on my feet, what can I say?” I explained smugly.

He shook his head, and then glanced around. “I feel bad. There's no one here.”

“Don't worry. I plan on buying those over there.” I pointed at the cupcakes in the display.

“They do look really good.” He noted.

“And it smells like heaven in here.” I borderline moaned.

Colby cleared his throat, moving in closer to the table. “So... where would you want to get to married, if you could choose?”

“I don't know. Probably on the beach,” I answered. “I've always dreamed of getting married on the beach.”

“That sounds nice. Have you thought about your wedding, like all the little details and whatnot?” Colby gushed brightly.

I cocked my head to the side, almost laughing at him.

“What? Isn't that something most girls do?” He argued jokingly.

“First off, not every girl dreams about their wedding.” I scoffed. “But secondly, yes I have.”

“Who'd you get married to?” He questioned abruptly.

I choked. “Um-”

Casey busted in, cutting me off. “Okay! Sorry about that. I figured I might as well bring out some other samples besides the carrot cake.”

She placed four plates down in front of us. Each had two little sections of cake on it. There was carrot, vanilla, chocolate, and red velvet. I could feel my mouth water as she placed two forks down.

“So, for any cakes that we do make, we can obviously do any form of icing. But traditionally, red velvet and carrot always have cream cheese icing. I do my own little spin on both, of course.” She babbled, giggling. “And then for the vanilla, I did vanilla icing. And the chocolate has chocolate icing as well. Go ahead and dig in.”

I grabbed a fork and sliced a piece of the carrot cake. I took my bite slowly, enjoying the sweetness of the icing, with a hint of cinnamon. I glanced up at Colby as he did the same, his eyes landing on me with a hidden smile.

“This is really good. And I don't usually like carrot cake. But this... so good.” Colby spoke, covering his mouth.

“That's great to hear. And what about you, Y/N?” Casey turned to me.

I praised. “Delicious. I love carrot cake, so this hits the spot.”

“I'm happy you enjoy it. I love a good carrot cake myself,” She confessed. “So, where are you guys planning to get married?”

“In Santa Monica. On the beach.” Colby stated.

My eyes widened, staring at Colby quickly. He gazed over at me, a smirk on his lips.

“A fall wedding on the beach?” Casey puzzled.

“Yeah. It's never really fall here anyway.” Colby commented.

“That is very true,” Casey chuckled. “A beach wedding, huh? That's so fun. What colors?”

“Red and white. And with some black thrown in. For him.” I teased.

“Aww, thanks babe.” Colby winked.

I felt my heart skip a beat for a second. I tried to brush off the butterflies in my stomach as hunger pains.

Casey sang. “You two are adorable! Now, try the vanilla cake. It's our top seller.”

After trying the rest of the cakes, Colby excused himself to go to the restroom. Casey sat down in Colby's seat, scooching in.

“Now I have to ask, how long have you two been together?” She inquired.

“Four years,” I lied. “Basically as long as I've known him.”

“You two already act like an old married couple. I can see how much he cares about you.” She disclosed.

I squeaked. “Really?”

“Oh yeah. It's so noticeable,” She swatted her hand lightly. “He's smitten, and I can see why. You are so sweet to him, and he just can't get enough. It's all in his eyes.”

Casey stood up and slowly cleaned up the plates, as I sat there in silence.

Was Colby really that into me?

Maybe she was lying. But something about her words stuck with me.

I’ve always had a small crush on Colby, ever since I met him. And everyone in our friend group knew about it. I always chalked up my feelings to me just being lonely and him always being there for me. But maybe there was something more in how I felt for him. The idea of marrying Colby didn’t seem bad at all. If anything, it was something I could see maybe happening. I mean, we were really close. And our friends always joked about us being a couple. Maybe they weren't jokes after all.

But does he even like me like that?

“Did you order the cupcakes, Y/N?” Colby’s voice broke my thoughts.

I stared up at him, stumbling. “Hmm? What? I-uh, no. I didn't.”

Colby’s dimples appeared as he chuckled at the fumbling of my words. “Okay. I'm gonna go order them then.”

I nodded, slowly standing up and grabbing my purse. I walked over to him, watching him pay for the cupcakes.

“Well, when you're ready to place an order for your cake, you let me know.” Casey addressed, handing Colby a business card and the cupcakes.

Colby assured. “Of course, Casey. Thank you so much for the samples.”

“And thank you for being such a fine gentleman. You take good care of Y/N, you hear?” She patted the counter near me.

He laughed softly, the both of us beginning to leave. “Absolutely. Have a nice day.”

“Same to you. Goodbye, my little love birds!” Casey waved.

We walked out of the bakery and back onto the busy street. Everything felt strange around me, like I just woke up from a dream.

Back to reality, I guess.

“She was... fun.” I remarked happily.

“Yeah, definitely.” He smiled, getting into his car. “I know what bakery I'm coming to if I do get married.”

I sat down, putting the cupcakes on the floor next to my feet. “We'll have to do this again sometime.”

Colby turned to me, his eyes snaking up my body and finally stopping on my face with a click of his tongue.

“Whatever you say, Mrs. Brock.”

[witchygagirlwrites]

Best Friend (Part 3/3)

you and Kevin are best friends but when you start to fall for him you start pulling away until a life threatening situation urges you to confess how you feel

Kevin was sitting in the corner of the waiting room at Med. It had taken too long for Gabby and Sylvie to get you back. Minutes passed precious minutes that could mean the difference in whether or not you woke up.

The ride to med was the longest one he'd ever experienced. He couldn't ride in the ambulance because he'd been too upset Adam had basically drug him into a car. Otis had climbed in the back of the ambulance with Gabby to help bag you while she worked on stabilizing your injuries. Time you got to Med Will and Connor along with an army of nurses met you in the ambulance bay.

He'd stood outside trauma one watching as Will ventilated you. Your heart was beating but your lungs couldn't breathe on their own yet. You had inhaled too much smoke. He'd stood frozen to the spot until Kim and Adam had talked him into going to the waiting room which was packed with family members of the victims of the fire but one corner of the room was nothing but fire and cpd waiting to hear anything on you.

-----

Gabby and Sylvie both sat leaned against Antonio who was going from silently praying to trying to keep everyone calm.

Adam and Jay had both tried to talk to Kevin but after he snapped at Kim everyone had given him a wide berth knowing if he had acted that way towards her any of the men may have to duck a punch.

-----

Your words kept playing through his head "I love you Kev. You need to know that"

Why hadn't he realized it before then? Why hadn't he told you how he felt? Hell Vinessa and Jordan had called him out more than once but he always thought you just saw him as a friend nothing more and he didn't want to risk your friendship on feelings you may not reciprocate now he may never have the chance to tell you how he felt.

-----

The pregnant woman Jessica was going to be ok. She was far enough along her OB had decided inducing labor would be safer than waiting to check the baby's lung capacity.

She'd given birth to a seven pound, two ounce little girl about half an hour before.  Mom and baby were both going to be ok thanks to you.

They'd given the baby your name as her middle name citing that she wouldn't have been born had it not been for you. Jessica told her husband and Sylvie how you had given her the mask and the fire blanket then never left her side and how you had shielded her with your own body when the roof collapsed.

From what Casey and Severide said you had effectively sheilded her. They'd found the two of you under a portion of roof but Jessica hadn't been injured beyond her leg that she told them was broken before the roof came in.  She'd been sending her husband down to the emergency department as she could to try to find out any news on you but after the third trip Will had told him someone would come up because it was only causing more stress on Jessica and the people who loved you.

-----

He was proud of you even if what you did was the stupidest thing he'd ever seen. The paramedics had been told time and again after Shay died not to go in a building. He knew you though once you found out there was someone inside and heard that person hell itself wouldn't have kept you out. Your bravery was one of the many reasons he loved you.

Hell he could start now and that baby would be going into kindergarten by the time he got through listing all the reasons he loved you.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes willing for all of this to be a bad dream and him to wake up and be able to start this day over.

A phone ringing pulled everyone's attention to the bag sitting at Sylvie's feet. Your bag. She cut her eyes at Gabby who nodded so she leaned over and unzipped the bag to find your phone sitting on top. when she pulled it out she showed the phone to Antonio who cursed under his breath before taking it and standing up.

Kevin hadn't moved when the phone rang because honestly he hadn't cared. If it was anything to do with you Will would have came out to tell them but when Antonio bumped his foot he glanced up and saw your phone was being held out to him and his heart stopped seeing Vinessa's name and a picture of you and her flash across the screen.

He took the phone from Antonio and took a breath before answering "Hey Vinessa" "Kev?"

He steadied himself for the next part of this conversation "Where's auntie?" "Hold on I'll go get her. Is everything ok?" "Just go get her" he answered being more snappy than he usually would be with his sister but not wanting to have to tell her what was going on with you not yet.

-----

He told his aunt what had happened and the shape you were currently in.  "She's strong Kevin. She'll pull through" she assured him but he couldn't shake the image of your body hanging limp in Kelly's arms. "I don't know what I'm gonna do if she don't" he admitted feeling like a portion of his heart was getting ripped out his chest at the prospect of you dying.

"Keep faith in her and the doctors. If she's half the woman you and these kids say she is she'll wake up"  he spotted Will walking towards him so told her he had to go. The last thing she told him was "I really want to meet her one day" then hung up.

-----

Everyone held their breath when they spotted Will. Sylvie and Kim stood to be next to Kevin as he heard whatever news was coming.

Will let out a breath and smiled slightly "She's got a concussion from the blow, fourteen staples in the back of her head and bruised ribs but all in all she was lucky considering. Now as far as the smoke inhalation goes we're slowly weaning her off the ventilator and so far she's doing good. If she continues at this pace she'll be backing breathing on her own before morning. She's medicated so she's resting but Kev she's going to recover" 

Kevin felt himself weaken at hearing you were going to be ok. He'd been preparing himself for the worse but now he knew you were coming back to him.

He pulled Kim then Sylvie into a hug. "She's going to be ok" Kim reminded with a smile.

-----

Will let everyone go to your room two at a time. Seeing you with a breathing tube in was hard but knowing you would recover lessened the blow.

Once everyone had saw you mainly to reassure themselves you were still intact they began to trickle out to head home and get some sleep so they could all come back in the morning before shifts started to check on you. Kevin however couldn't bring himself to leave so Will cleared it for him to stay overnight.

-----

He sat at your bed staring at your chest as it rose and fell. Your breathing was getting better. In the last few hours they had removed the breathing tube completely leaving you on just oxygen but you were still sleeping from the pain medication they'd given you.

Will had left orders with the night shift on keeping a check on you and that he would be in first thing to check your lung functions.

He was beyond tired. Sleep had been nipping at him since everyone left earlier but in his mind if he fell asleep something would happen to you and he couldn't chance it.

His aunt had called again for an update on you and was happy to hear they were confident in your recovery. He'd talked to Vinessa and Jordan and they were both worried about you and made him promise to call as soon as you were up to talking again.

He sat looking through the numerous photos of you and his siblings he had on his phone. He settled on one in particular that Vinessa had taken on her last birthday. You were smiling and hanging off his neck as you ducked a water balloon thrown by Kim and Adam.

Why hadn't he realized then he was in love with you? He finally drifted off to sleep with one hand touching your arm that was closest to him.

-----

Everything hurt as you swam out from under the fog of unconsciousness. The last thing you remembered was blocking Jessica from the piece of roof that was crashing down on the two of you.

You felt a weight on your left arm and slowly opened your eyes to see Kevin fast asleep with his head leaned over on your arm. He looked so peaceful you didn't want to move and risk waking him but you needed to see just how badly you were hurt not to mention you had to see how Jessica and her baby were.

Despite the pain you were feeling a touch of embarrassment hit when you remembered telling Kevin you loved him. Was that why he'd stayed? A sense of guilt? Or maybe he felt the same? That thought made a small smile slip onto your face but you pushed it down and looked around for the call button and hit it once hoping whoever came in would keep it down a bit until you at least found out what happened after you were knocked out.

------

Will's head popped around the corner and he gave you a small smile. You help one finger to your lips and he looked down and saw Kevin still asleep "How ya feeling wonder woman?" He whispered coming closer to listen to your breathing. "Not that wonderful" you croaked out grimacing at the sound of your own voice pushing the oxygen down once he gave the ok.

"So do you wanna know about yourself first or about Jessica and her little girl?"

-----

After showing you a couple pics on his phone of Jessica and your name sake Will gave you a rundown of your own injuries and you were honestly surprised you'd faired as well as you did.

"Has he been here all night?" You asked and felt Kevin stirring before he sat up rubbing his eyes "He's been here since they brought you in"

Will smiled and said "I'll give you two a few minutes. There's some tests we need to run on you but for now just rest. You need it" "Thanks Will" you replied with a tired smile. He winked at you before walking out "I'd say any time but I prefer not to see you again like this"

A silence fell between you and Kevin once Will walked out.  He spoke your name quietly bringing his eyes up to yours and you felt tears spring to your eyes “Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.” you begged closing your eyes and leaning back against the pillows.

You couldn't face the pity you were sure was in his eyes. He was your friend of course he'd stayed to make sure you didn't die but now that he knew you were on the mend would come the talk that he didn't feel the same way.

He reached out and grabbed your hand running his thumb across the back of it. "Angel look at me please" you opened your eyes slowly and when he saw the tears brimming in them it hurt his heart. "Seeing Kelly carry you out that building felt like my whole world stopped. You weren't breathing, you were bleeding and they wouldn't let me get to you. It took me a while to realize it myself but I've been in love with you for almost as long as I've known you. You're my best friend and I don't want to ever have to doubt that you know how I feel about you again. So please baby don't think for a minute that I don't love you"

-----

You felt a smile spread across your face as Kevin's words tumbled out. When he got through he sat staring at you with an expectant look on his face as if he was scared that your confession had just been stimmed by the possibility of death.

"One request" you said turning your hand over to lace your fingers with his. A smile slipped onto his face staring at your hands before raising his eyes back to your face "Anything" he said squeezing your hand gently "are you willing to kiss me while I sound like a frog?"

He let out a shocked laugh and shrugged "Baby I'd kiss you even if you were a frog"

Kevin stood up and gently brushed his lips against yours in a tentative kiss. You raised your hand that didn't have an IV in it to pull him closer to you and deepen the kiss.

The sound of Will clearing his throat at the door made Kevin pull away from you with a smile. "I love you Kevin" you whispered pressing another quick kiss to his lips before he could pull away completely. "I love you too sweetheart" he said with a smile before stepping back so Will could get up to your side.

Will looked between the two of you and chuckled "I always thought you two would be good together"

[91percentpynch]

lonely heart - kevaaron au pt 4

oh look it‘s me, coming out of my dark hole to make you suffer with a super sad chapter with a nasty cliffhanger:) so get your tissues ready and enjoy!! okay first of all sorry that i didn‘t update this in a g e s and that it‘s rather short and for the cliffhanger, but i‘ll try to update it more regularly now:)

check this out for the other parts:)

trigger warnings: drug abuse, mention of suicide, mention of mental health issues, very sad aaron, mention of blood

“You were too good for me”, Aaron whispered into the void. “You were way too fucking good for me. You made me a better man. And I fucked up”

Aaron got up as he felt the tears burning in his eyes. He knew he wouldn‘t be able to sleep alone tonight. Like every single goddamn night since he left Kevin. Like every single goddamn night since he made the biggest mistake of his life.

„Taylor?“, the blonde haired boy murmered, „You up?“

„Babe, you know I‘m up. My girlfriend lives three states away, we talk every single day at the same time as you call your man. Not that I would be able to sleep when you call him, cause a) i love Day and b) you‘re always sad and high and end up in my room anygays, so did he take the phone darling?“

Taylor was Aaron‘s roommate and the closest thing he had to a best friend. She had been there for him every single day, cuddled him, held him while he cried and dried his tears afterwards. And Aaron did the same when she misssed her girlfriend too much.

„You do realize he is not my man anymore, I fucked that up. Big time. He did actually take the phone just to tell me to fuck off and stop calling“

„You could always go over there and say it in his pretty face. Didn’t say you can’t come over did he?Pro point: Might lead to making out“, Taylor said while taking him in her arms. „Plus another pro point: you‘d get sober again. And you‘re less moody. No offense but a Kevin-less Aaron is hardly managable, like you‘re either a whiny little bitch or you‘ll give me the death glare of the cenutry. Legit worse than Andrew‘s and I called him a cute little baby boo once when I was drunk and he almost stabbed me right there with a look on his face like I just murdered Neil in front of him“

„Tay, I take that as a compliment. And we both know Kevin’s a bit of a dumbass so he did not exactly tell me Not To Come over just stopp calling. Anyways I don‘t even know where he lives. And stop talking about me getting high, you do the same shit“

„Yeah but I know my limits and I have not the same history as you. And for the i DoN‘t EvEn KnOwS wHeRe He LiVeS, phone number. Now“

„O- okay“, Aaron said and told her Kevin‘s phone number while Taylor calmingly stroked his back.

„Neat, got him“, Taylor said after a while. „He‘s with the scary big dude and his adorable little boyfriend I think? I have their address right here, I think we‘re gonna visit them tomorrow cause it‘s like 4 am right now and we don‘t wanna rob him his beauty sleep plus we don‘t want to wake the scary big dude. And I‘m pretty sure the adorable small golden retriver boy could and would stab us“

„Did you just stalk my ex and located his phone at 4 am like fucking Garcias in Criminal Minds?“, Aaron said confused.

„Anything for you big guy. And as I said I miss Day‘s pretty face, preferably in your pretty face so you shut the fuck up about how stressed and depressed and lonely you are.“, Taylor chuckled as Aaron looked at her shocked.

„Well I miss Casey, preferable in your face so YOU shut up“, Aaron was never as good in witty remarks as his brother. Especially high Aaron.

„Babe I think it‘s time for you to go to bed, you‘re not fun when you‘re sad, high and tired. Come here, let me cuddle you, while you whiney little bitch sleep“

Aaron slowly went over to Taylor and into her loving arms, laying down, trying to fall asleep.

After a long while aaron drifted into sleep, just to be greeted by familiar smaragd eyes. In his dream Kevin and he never broke up. Kevin was on top of him, his hands gently discovered Aaron‘s body, touching him as if he was sacred, something to worship. Kevin‘s lips were at Aaron‘s ear whispering sweet nothingness. Aaron‘s hips moved against Kevin‘s loving touch. „Stress release“ Kevin called these holy moments in dawn. „Highlight of my day“ Aaron called them.

The dream was as beautiful as it was cruel. It was as if his body, his mind were as much refusing as able to believe that Kevin was gone. It was his own fault, Aaron knew it. But the ever present voice of his mother, disapproving and disgusting, in his head was just too much for him to handle. He thought - foolish as Aaron was - that the pain of living without Kevin would be better, less cruel, less painful. But he never knew real love and therefore never experienced its lost. Until that faitful day. Until Kevin took his bags and left.

Aaron was used to pain. The hot one after an extraordinarily vicious hit. The cold one when his mother died. The numbing one when the hunger was growing more and more unbareable. But nothing was even slightly as hard to handle as the loss of Kevin in his life.

Kevin was the first good thing Aaron had. He gave him a will to stay, to try, to give this stupid sport everything he got. And Exy turned into more mundane things like getting his eating routine under control or getting a more or less acceptable sleeping schedule. The dark days were still there, for both of them, and they would probably never leave them completely alone, but they got less. And when they did happen they would hold each other together.

Ever since he fucked up things with Kevin, Aaron had more and more dark days. The voice of his mother telling him he‘s a failure, the bored stare of his brother and Aaron convincing himself Andrew wouldn‘t even bet an eye if he died, the voice telling him the world would be a better place without him growing louder and lourder every passing day.

Logically he could say that the death of a single person wouldn‘t change much for the over all world population, expect maybe it‘s some kind of insane mademan dicator or someone important, but still. It made sense. All he did after all was fucking up, being a failure, never good enough, never perfect.

His lonely heart only screamed Kevin‘s name and he knew if Kevin didn‘t take him back, his life wouldn‘t make much sense anymore. Well he would definetly not tell Kevin that. He would not manipulate Kevin into loving him, because that wouldn‘t be much better than not having him at all.

Aaron woke up the next day around noon. He didn‘t really feel like getting up, like getting up was simply too much. But Aaron knew he had to. He didn‘t want to worry Taylor more than he already did. And it would end today. One way or the other.

So he got up, put on the first pair of black jeans he could find and the first sweater his hands could find. Ironically it was one of the sweaters Kevin gave him, on the third of december last year. It was one of Aaron‘s favourites as well.

„Ready for the big Day, small guy?“, Taylor said winking at him.

„Not really? What the fuck am I supposed to do there anyways?“, Aaron replied on his way to the coffee maker.

„Talk to him? Deliver one of those borderline cringe big speeches. Get im flowers. Break into his bedroom and say ‚Draw me like one of your french girls‘, naked of course“, Taylor laughed at the face Aaron made, listening to her suggestions.

„I think I like the big speech. I mean I‘m shit with words, but I‘m sure you want to help your boy getting ‚his man‘ back, right? Also what kind of flowers would you give someone you dumped cause the voice of your dead mother told you it was wrong and disgusting, which you never told him for obvious reasons?“

„Honey, you‘re so fucked up sometimes, I love you but you should go to a therapist or something. Also I‘d say sunflowers or roses? I don‘t speak flowers man, I‘m the tech nerd. Not the romantic one, the nerd. But we‘re gonna make a snazzy speech and you‘re gonna get your man back“

After their typical breakfast - if Aaron didn‘t forget to eat again - they sat down together on the living room floor, paper and pen ready, trying to write the world changing speech.

„Why is this so fucking hard? Why can I only tell him how much I love and miss him when I‘m high off my ass“, Aaron complained.

„What about you don‘t think about him that much. Just tell me what you love about him and then we write that down?“, Taylor suggested.

Aaron took a deep breathe and closed his eyes. „I loved him because he was the first one who saw me. Aaron Minyard. And not just the other Minyard, the lesser twin, the shadow of Andrew. He looked at me and somehow chose me. Even if he could have had everyone else. He chose me, even though I‘m not special. Kevin chose the failure when he could have had the first prize. He looked at me and saw something worth loving, worth keeping around. Hardly anyone could tell Andrew and me apart. But it took him less than a day to do so. Kevin is strong, so so strong and somehow chose the most fragile thing he could find, took it and made it worth soemthing. Kevin made me feel something. Not numbness. Not pain. Something warm and beautiful and living. He gave me a reason to stay alive. Kevin made my life bearable, he made my life beautiful. We were both broken and we would probably still be broken if we were together but we softened each other‘s edges. Kevin believed in me when no one else would. He knew how I felt, knew what I needed and when I needed it. Kev gave me love and safety and I kicked it with my feet. This man is like a god who fell for whatever reasons for a homeless man. And I know I don‘t deserve him but I also know I cannot live without him. And I know that I must tell him that before it‘s too late. If it‘s not too late already“

Taylor wipped a tear out of her eyes. „That‘s it. You tell him that and we‘ll get him back“, she said. „Can I hug you?“

„Sure you loser“

„Ah there is my boy“

They spent the rest of the afternoon writing down the speech, making edits here and there. In the end Aaron collected the pages and went to his room to change. He replaced Kevin‘s sweater with a simple black jumper, put on his Docs, got his keys and left.

Aaro did feel a little uncomfortable, stalking Kevin like that. But he knew this was his chance to fix things. This was his chance to get Kevin back, to make his life worth living again. Which to be fair was a bit selfish, but you are allowed to be a little selfish sometimes, aren‘t you?

Jean and Jeremy‘s apartment complex was a 15 minute drive away from the flat Aaron shared with his three roommates. Theirs was fanzier, obviously. After all Jeremy was a professional Exy player and Jean was some kind of semi famous artist or fashion maker or whatever. They could give Kevin the world. They could give him what he desereved. All Aaron had to offer was an apology and his love. No money. Not yet anyway. Just anxiety, depression and stress.

But if Kevin was willing to take his love, to give Aaron one more chance, he promised himself Aaron would make it count. He will tell Kevin how much he loves Kevin every single god damn day. Aaron will get therapy and work on his issues. Sober up and this time for good. He will do anything to be worth of god‘s love. Just that god in his case was a twenty two year old boy with black hair, forming soft waves at the end and a smile that will make the sun jealous. Eyes made out of smaragd. Lips so sinful and kissable.

Aaron sat down in front of the door, waiting for his courage to come back to him. He could do this. He would get his man back.

Hours passed, or maybe it were only minutes or seconds after all before someone came closer. Ever so slowly Aaron lifted his head, just to look in the ever so familiar green eyes, big with shock.

„You said to stop calling. You never mentioned face to face conversations“, Aaron said, his voice hoarse.

Kevin stared at him as if he was a ghost, a reminder of his past life, something he rather wanted to forget.

„Look I know I fucked up. I know I‘m not good enough for you. I know you deserve the world and I cannot give it to you. And when you look me in the eyes and tell me you don‘t feel anything for me anymore, no love or hate or affection or whatever humans feel, I will turn away right now and go and never come back. Never bother you again. But if you allow me to apologize, if you however decide to gieve me one last chance, I prepared this whole ass speech for you“

Aaron was sure they could hear his heart beating against his chest, roaring, screaming to return home. To return to Kevin where it belonged.

Kevin‘s eyes wandered to the floor, his fingers automatically closed around his left wrist. A nervous habit. Just another little part that makes Aaron‘s heart ache.

Slowly, almost painfully slowly, he lifted those unbelieveable beautiful eyes and met Aaron‘s golden ones. Kevin studied him and the world around them stopped.

Out of the corner of Aaron‘s eyes he could see Jean going still, his breathing too calm, too even. It‘s the same thing Andrew does when someone fucks with Josten. At least his death would be fast. Or slow. Whatever. Aaron didn‘t really care, without Kevin it wasn‘t worth anygthing anyway.

„Why“, Kevin said after what feels like forever, „Why would I forgive you? Why would I give you another chance? Why would you think you can come back here just to fuck me over again? Aaron I loved you, I really did. I always will. You were my first love and maybe, yeah maybe, my last one. But right now I can‘t. I just, I just can‘t. Please leave. Please leave me alone. For now. Maybe, one day we can talk about it. But right now I cannot handle the thought of you to leave me. To tell me all these beautiful lies, to cut me open and leave me to bleed out. I love you“, tears were running down Kevin‘s cheek. Tears Aaron one day, a long time ago, promised himself he would never let Kevin feel again. Pain. Sadness. Everything because of his failure, because of his weakness, because he‘s a fucking piece of shit.

„Thank you for giving me a reason to stay. Jusst remember that you were my light, my warmth, my happiness and I never stopped loving you. Never will. Please just be happy“, Aaron replied as he turned around to walk to his cars.

When he was sure he was out of ear shot, he let himself feel. Feel the pain. Feel the loneliness. Feel the numbness and the cold and the hatred. It was in that moment, that moment where he was alone and nothing more to lose, that he decided that it was enough. He would end it. End it tonight.

„Thank you“, he texted Taylor. „I‘m glad I didn‘t eat you in the womb“, he texted Andrew. „You were not so bad after all“, he sent to Neil. And lastly „Thank you for taking me under your wing“, to Nicky. They would understand. It would take them some time but in the end they would feel better. They would be happier without them. Because at the end of the day he caused them pain and wasn‘t really worth a thing.

So when he got in his car, tears running uncontrallably down his cheeks, he knew what he had to do.