#in the first pic it was literally just repeating the same information about like really basic arrowheads and pottery shards but i ws RIVETE

[iloveschiaparelli]

If you go with me to a museum be forewarned I only have 2 states of being:

[finelinevogue]

hiii ! could you write something about harry stalking y/n's Instagram but her account is private, so he sends a request and she accepts and she follows him back, and harry likes her pics (which aren't many) and tries to find out if she do you have a boyfriend or something?

this might be quite short but i hope this is alright for you;

“What’s the correct reaction I should use when Harry Styles requests to follow me?”

You asked your best friend, Heather, as you were both lounging on your bed. She was sat up against the headboard and you lay the opposite way around, holding you phone to the ceiling.

It was just another simple day for the two of you. You’d worked a long shift at the local supermarket and Heather had worker her long shift at the cat shelter, both of you now just having some down time to relax and regroup your thoughts before you even thought to start on dinner. Heather, your best friend and roommate, was an absolute tyrant in the kitchen which meant you were often the one to cook dinner. Tonight was shrimp risotto, if you could be bothered to get out of bed to actually make it. However you were no grounded to your bed more than ever, shocked with the current notification staring you square in the eyes.

“Why?” Heather laughed at you, not noticing your heavily serious face to your question, “you having your daily dreams over the man again?”

Okay, you didn’t have daily dreams… Nightly dreams, maybe. You had liked Harry for a while actually, perhaps since he had cut his hair for a movie he had done. You weren’t a huge fan of his and listened to his music occasionally - like when you were folding laundry or on a long train ride - but you weren’t dedicated to him. He was cute and his voice sounded really lovely. He was definitely the face you used in your nighttime scenarios, but you would never admit that out loud.

“No,” you briefly paused to find the right words to say, “because Harry Styles just requested to follow me.”

“You— What!” Heather sprung up from her position on the bed, but you stayed still and eyes fixed to your phone.

“Appropriate reaction?” You asked again, handing her your phone so she could see for herself.

“Um, ascending into heaven, I don’t know do I? The really question is why the fuck haven’t you accepted it?” She was quick to answer your question and even quicker to ask hers, looking at you as if you’d just told her you were born with only one tit.

“Maybe because it’s Harry Styles!” You exclaimed, sitting up and looking at her now the same way she had just done you.

“Babe, honey, that’s exactly why you need to accept him.” Tossing you back your phone you caught it as you looked to her. God, what was happening? You’d been stacking shelves at a supermarket 3 hours ago and now you were about to accept a follow request from Harry Styles - like the same man who you think about every night before bed and yet know barely anything about.

“Oh fuck it.” You clicked accept and then followed him back, switching your phone off and throwing it down onto the bed.

“Did you..”

“Yeah.”

“So…”

“Yeah.”

Then you started to freak.

It hit you that Harry Styles could see all of your instagram photos - even the ones you were tagged in. Then you questioned whether he would even bother to stalk you? Was he that kind of person? How did he even find you in the first place? You had 489 followers to his near 50 million, so it’s not exactly like he just saw you appear in his notifications - you didn’t even follow him until 30 seconds ago. Let’s say he did see your photos, what would he see? For starters there’s the photos of you and your parents dogs and then just your parents. There’s you on the beach and you in the snow. There’s you with friends and still some posted of people you didn’t like anymore. It was okay.

“Do you think he’s wanking off to that picture of you in your lingerie?” Heather broke the silence.

“What?” You looked at her baffled by such a question.

“You know? The one you just posted like two days ago because it was body positivity week at the gym?”

Fuck.

You’d completely forgotten about that photo and you scrambled quick for your phone. God, you couldn’t let Harry see you like that. You’d felt really, really, good when you’d posted it, dressed in your black lingerie from Victorias Secret, but now you were insecure that Harry could’ve looked at the photo and… well, vomited maybe?

“Oh no, no, no.” You repeated as you went back onto Instagram, only to freeze. “Holy fuck balls.”

If your mother heard the tone of your tongue from the past 5 minutes, she would have you strung up on her washing line by your toes. Okay not literally, but something similar.

“What? What’s happened?” Heather pressed, nosy to the current situation.

“He liked the photo.”

“He what?” Heather shouted, a shit eating grin on her face.

“Oh my fuck he liked the photo.” You put the phone on the bed and got up off to stand up, pacing whilst your rubbed your hands over your stressed temples. “He liked the look.” You repeated to yourself, trying to convince yourself that this was actually happening.

Harry Styles had seen a photo of you in your lingerie. That is not something you’d ever thought you’d ever say, but there’s the fact. Like he’d seen you - your body. You paced the length of your bedroom, completely in your own head wondering where you’d go in your life past this moment. Crawling under a heavy rock to live forever sounded pretty good right now though.

“Have you done freaking out yet?” Heather asked sarcastically, watching you pace with your phone in her hands.

“No. Yes. Maybe. Is this an acceptable reaction?” You stressed your hands through your hair and cupped your hand over your mouth in shock that this was genuinely happening.

“So I shouldn’t tell you that he’s also sent a direct message?” She asked rhetorically, making you stop wearing a track into your carpet.

“He…”

“Yeah.”

“Saying?”

“Do you want to sit down first or…” Heather asked, clearly concerned you weren’t handling this all very well.

“No. I’d rather just collapse afterwards.” You nodded your head, egging her to continue.

“Okay…” She rolled her eyes and returned her eyes to the screen to start reading out the message. “Y/N—”

“Oh jesus.” You interrupted, clutching onto your desk chair as your legs went weak and you had to sit down. Heather laughed at you before continuing, her eyes lighting up as she skim read the message.

“I hope you’re having a lovely day. I hope you don’t find my follow request or liking of your photos too creepy or forward, it’s just I think you’re really beautiful and ever since I heard about you I just had to know who you were. If you don’t want to reply, that’s alright I understand, but if you would like to know me a bit more as I would like to get to know you then feel free to call me or just message back. If, however, you are already seeing someone I apologise for this message to both you and your partner. Wishing you all the best, H. x”

Breathe check. Yes, still breathing.

“Y/N?” Heather asked, noticing you were struck still.

“Okay…” You let out a shaky breathe, doing some internal meditation to try and calm the buzzing of nerves that were rushing throughout your entire body.

“Y/N?” Heather snapped you out of your attempt of peace. “What do you want to do now?”

“He called me beautiful.” You smiled at her she smiled back, happy that you were happy.

“He also said he had heard about you from somewhere?” Heather asked, having picked up on that important bit of information.

“And he wants to get to know me.”

“Yes, okay lover-woman, let’s focus here.”

“Right, yes. Focus.” You nodded your head, still in a dreamy daze.

“Should we call him?” Heather asked.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?” You threw your hands up in the air, which shocked you both. “Woah, sorry. Do you seriously think he’s going to want to listen to me paralysed at the lips? No.”

“So, text?”

“Text, yes.” You sighed, coming to sit on the bed next to her and draft a message back to the man who was about to change your life.

[kanmom51]

I wouldn’t say that JK was uncomfortable in that clip but he did look like he wasn’t in the mood to me & that’s ok imo !!! lol I’m a hardcore Kookmin lover and that’s what I saw in his face. Everyone can see and interpret different things. Couples or people that are super close with each other are allowed to be annoyed with each other every once and a while.

I’m a firm believer that small instances like that don’t disprove anything for me as much as the super close moments they have-often might I add- don’t necessarily prove anything for some other people.

I, for one, still think they have a really close relationship that goes beyond just friendship & a 1 second clip of Jungkook looking like he wanted to say ‘Really Jimin??, we’re doing this right here and now???’ does not mean that they aren’t close or that Jungkook is ‘uncomfortable’ with Jimin touching him or being close to him. Now THAT narrative is absolute bullshit.

I have received many asks like this or similar to this or just all up about JK's reactions, so I will answer them all in one ask, because I don't want to repeat myself. These are the asks I received (all your voices will be heard):

Ask2:

u cant blame people for thinking jk is not comfortable with jimin because everytime jm does something with him he looks annoyed as hell

ask 3:

Look I've been a supporter since 2017 and Jikook has never once made me cringe or feel awkward. JK has literally almost kissed JM and brushed lips with him and just smiled and never looked awkward. Whatever is happening with Jikook the last several months JK looks stiff and odd anytime JM interacts with him. If he is with JM, then they need to have a talk, cause All I've seen all day long is people calling JM an assaulter and homewrecker and they all say its because of JKs reactions every time.

Ask 4:

If they are broke up, JM needs to learn boundaries. If they aren't, then JM needs to have a long serious talk with JK, cause new army's coming in are already convinced JM makes JK uncomfortable. JK shouldn't have to change to please others, but if JM is his boyfriend, he needs to stop acting repulsed or annoyed or stone faced when JM touches him, cause people feed off his reactions. He fuels it. It really looks like he doesn't want JM touching him if thats the case he needs to leave JM alone too

Ask 5:

JM has looked like an extremely clingy boyfriend lately and usually I love that, I love it even more when its JK being bold and clingy, but the last several months JK's reactions make me cringe for JM. I definitely think JM is over the separation shit, the way RM rolls his eyes or they have to lie and he's probably over everyone shipping his boyfriend with his best friend, but JK isn't going a long with his boldness cause he probably is worried. I just hope this doesn't cause them more problems.

Ask 6:

Either they broke up or JK has become more private about their relationship, because there is no more excuses for JK's reactions toward JM anymore. He KNOWS JM is being hated on every single time they interact, esp here lately and he is doing NOTHING to change the narrative. Therefore its either cause they really aren't together and JK really is uncomfortable or the company told them to tone it down and JK's worried and stiffens up around JM. Its not funny anymore JM is getting formal complaints

Ask 7:

I'm tired of jikook interacting thing when it's only jimin interacting with jungkook and jungkook looks like he's in a funeral. I believe jm likes him but the narratives y'all create about jungkook are so different from his actual reactions and everyone can see that and it's the only reason jimin gets so much hate.

Ask 8:

JM deserves someone who treats him equally. Its clear JK has tapped out of whatever they have and JM isn't letting go. 2017, 2018, 2019 JK would not treat JM this way. In fact, it seemed like JK was ready to tell the world he was dating JM. His boldness in front of cameras, then. He never shunned/made JM look bad. If I did not know Jikook's relationship, I would think JM was an aggressor who makes JK uncomfortable cause that is how it reads no matter how hard we defend it. JK doesn't deserve JM.

Ask 9:

i cried so much today, honestly fuck jungkook. i hope jimin realizes how their "interactions" look on camera and sticks to his word of not even talking to him

ask 10:

JM is telling us one thing, JK is telling us another. Every time something happens with Jikook, its usually because of JM and JK looks uncomfortable, then JK will wear green & purple. JM leans on JK butter pic, JK wears green & purple shirt next day. JM trying to have moments with JK at muster, net day, JK wears purple & green earrings. I'm guessing JK will wear purple & green together soon again. JM deserves better, cause that's not cool if JK is his boyfriend and its not cool of JM if Jk's not

Ask 11:

It's not the same anymore with Jikook and Jk is the main reason. His actions towards Jimin is why its hard to continue defending Jikook. If they're together, then JK needs to treat him better period. I'm not saying he has to kiss his boyfriend in public or shout he's mine, but stop flinching, cringing and sitting there with a pissed look when he interacts if he's your boyfriend. If he's not, set boundaries and leave JM alone and stop leading him on. I'm scared for JM. BH might let him go.

Ask 12:

Genuine Q, why does everyone say jungkook is clingy with jimin? Even always behind the scenes is jimin clinging to him, looking for the tiniest way to interact with him and jungkook is always a passive receptor of all his affections. I like them together but seeing so many people say things I have never seen makes me confused and it's frustrating. Even lee hyun hugged jimin today more friendly than jungkook ever has. ANd I don't mean a 'backhug'.

Ask 13:

If he's going to be fond of JM, I'd rather he show it rather than leave JM out to dry.

So, here we go.

First thing I have to say is, please everyone take a big breath, let it out and lets start talking here.

I will start by saying that neither JK nor JM ow us a thing!! JK doesn't have to prove to us he likes or loves or wants JM, and visa versa.

If they choose to show us, every once in a while, it's their prerogative, not our right.

So, if JK loves JM, if they are in a relationship, it's JM he has to show he loves him, not us.

Where were all of you when JK was practically forcing his arms around JM to hug him after the recording of the Black swan performance? JM clearly didn't seem pleased at that moment. Were you discecting his reaction then? Either way, if your answer to the question is yes or no, you need to stop for a second and think why you were.

Moving on.

JK is not impassive to JM. JK is not hating what JM does. JK is being JK.

I have said this soooo many times before. JK in control of a situation is not the same JK caught off guard or surprised.

When JK is caught off guard he goes into a panic mode of sorts. Many times it looks like a total shut down. Freeze mode, if you wish to call it that. Resting bitch face is also good here.

When JK is in control of a situation he is happy, he is bold, he, in his mind, knows what he’s doing, where he is taking things and f**k the consequences, as far as he is concerned (at least for that split second he decides to do his crazy).

When JK is not in control and caught off guard he loses it. This is a shy introvert that suffers from anxiety. Please don’t let his stage persona confuse you.

JK isn’t uncomfortable with JM. He loves him. And even if you don’t believe they are a couple, I’m sorry, but that is something no one can deny, JK’s love for JM.

JK is an adult, he can be pretty assertive when he wants to. Yes, there is the age hierarchy, but he has shown us on more than one occasion that if he doesn’t want someone to hug him or touch him, he will push them off. We need to understand this. If JK didn’t want JM to touch him, he would push him off. If JK didn’t want JM to jump on him, he wouldn’t have caught him, it’s not like JM would have fallen on the ground. Do I have to remind just how many times JK has lifted JM and loved every single time he has done it.

But you ask, why a big smile on his face then and not this time?

Again, he knew what was coming then, he had control over the situation. He wasn’t caught off guard.

That’s JK, that’s who he is, and you cannot expect him to change who he is, how he reacts, how his face looks just because it doesn’t look good on camera to you, just because fans will dissect it to pieces and then go all nasty and turn it against the one person he loves most.

You can’t turn it on him.

It’s on the fans that as far as I am concerned shouldn’t be even called fans. The haters that instead of loving BTS and all their members are busy trying to break them down.

I will say this both to JM and JK stans:

Those are your bias, each one of them. And you bias loves the other one, JK loves JM and JM loves JK (no matter the level of love, friend, boyfriend, partner, they love each other).

You claim to love them, so how can you point so much anger and hate towards the one person they love so much????

If you don’t have something good to say, don’t say it. Because, saying something bad about the one your bias loves, well, don’t you think it would hurt them too???

Your bias, the person you claim to admire, care for, support, he chose to love this other person. Why don’t you give him some credit that he knows what he’s doing? That if that other person was treating him badly, he would no longer be with him, no longer gravitate towards him. No one is forcing him to always, always, be by his side, rub his neck, hug him, talk about him (always positive things, at that, unless it’s giving us information we didn’t really need to know about the other, like how long they shower, how loud they snore, who they were with at 4 am etc.).

PLEASE give your bias the well deserved credit that he knows what his wants and needs are. If JM didn’t want to be with JK, if he felt his needs weren’t being met, he wouldn’t be with him. Same said about JK.

They know how to disconnect, how to distance themselves and still stay professional, and yet, they choose to be at each other's side. That should say something to you.

So, my suggestion to you is to just leave them alone. Yes, I said it.

Let them be who they want to be. We cannot impose our needs for JK to show TKK’s he likes it when JM goes on the way he does on JK. He is who he is. If JM is unhappy with it, well he won’t put up with it, believe me. He is not a damsel in distress and doesn’t need the fans to save him from mean ole’ JK. JM is a strong ass man, I’ve said this many times before. He can take care of himself, and believe me, if he had a problem with JK’s reaction, the boy knows how to deal with it without fans coming to his rescue.

Fans need to stop inserting themselves into these young men’s lives. We are spectators, no more no less.

If you can enjoy them while understanding that, great. If not, well maybe the right thing is to take a breath, re-evaluate things and then come back.

[ladyc0312]

A Jikook Guide to RunBTS: 66-80

Things in this batch start out a little slow, KM-wise, but seriously pick up around the Toronto episodes. It features the episodes where both RM and Jin ask if JK and JM are a couple, so it includes the giggly hand-push game that helped make me a jikook believer! 

As usual, let me know if I’ve missed anything or should take another look at something. :)

Ep 66 "BTS in a Comic Book Cafe Part 1" (Ep: 2 / KM: 1)

The one that I can’t help but feel would be more fun if I was more familiar with the comics involved, but the guys make it cute anyway

3:08 - This is a little hard to see because they use weird angles and cuts, but JK sings a piece of a theme song and JM catches his eye and sings with him.

9:23 - JK leans in over JM's shoulder to see how many people are on the comic book page

10:18 - JM does the same when it's JK's turn

BEHIND 10:29 - JM jokes around with JK and does the playful chest tap thing

Ep 67 "BTS in a Comic Book Cafe Part 2" (Ep: 3 / KM: 1)

None

BEHIND 7:28 - JM asks JK if there's a comic book he wants and says he'll buy it for him if so

Ep 68 "Heart Pang" (Ep: 1 / KM: 0)

The one where I can't for the life of me understand the board game they are playing

None. 

Ep 69 "BTS in Toronto Part 1" (Ep: 4 / KM: 5)

The Toronto one where Jikook wear matching denim shirts while going to Niagara Falls, getting lunch, and playing games

2:36 - RM says there are certain people who will struggle with the wake up challenge. JK and JM readily seem to admit it's them. 

6:29 - JM hangs back (to walk with JK?) when the rest of the group starts heading for the Falls.

8:06 - There's a "teleporting" moment where Jin is in between JM and JK, then the camera cuts away, then it comes back and jikook are next to each other. They stay next to each other as they walk on.

9:52 - You can see jikook interacting in the background.

12:25 - JM takes a photo of JK and gets him to giggle, then they huddle to look at the pic.

13:56 - JM puts his arm around JK and takes a selca in the background, causing RM to ask "what, are you a couple or something? Both wearing denim shirts?" He says it fairly seriously for a line that seems like it's supposed to be a joke and they don't laugh or say anything in response - it looks like JM looks away and flips his hair while JK shifts and awkwardly rubs his forehead. You can also see a quiet exchange after between RM and JM where RM says no to something, then nods at JK. Unclear if it's related, but including it just in case. 

15:25 - JK doesnn't try to distract JM while he did the staring contest like he did with Hobi. When Jimin passes, JK is the only one to clap. 

18:04 - Quick moment where you can see JK start to rub the arm of JM's shirt before the camera cuts away.

18:50 - JM laughs and touches JK's chest after JK loses the rocks paper scissor game, too.

19:53 - When the other five walk away and JK is doing something with his mic, we don't see where JM is.

22:02 - JK appears to help JM with something with his camera in the foreground.

BEHIND 4:12 - After JHope scolds JK for letting Suga pour everyone's water, JK goes to pour JM some water, then puts the pitcher down. JM seemingly tries to help him out by saying it's a new trend for the oldest to pour water. 

Ep 70 "BTS in Toronto Part 2" (Ep: 3 / KM: 5)

The Toronto one where the guys go shopping, pick beds, and play games

1:15 - JK slows down to walk side by side with JM.

2:00 - When JK messes up the game he was confident he'd win, JK laughs and playfully shoves at his chest.

7:23 - When JK loses a game and has to buy the others hoodies, JM sneaks a hat into the pile while JK has his back turned. RM rats him out.

8:01 - JM quietly puts the hat back in the pile, then walks over and hugs JK.

8:40 - JK walks over to Jimin to show him something (sunglasses he wanted?).

20:30 - When they're all joking around about whether they can fit four people on a bed, JK moves JM into an L-shape and then lays down nested with him.

BEHIND 0:09 - JK calls out "Jimin-ssi!" and tosses JM that hat he bought him.

4:49 - When the guys are all stretching and JM is in an inconvenient place, JK calls him "Jimin-ssi" again, essentially feels up his calf, and then pushes his upper thigh, all purportedly to get him to move over.

5:28 - JK kneels down behind JM, who's on all fours, and holds his hips to correct his position (I am literally just describing what happens in the clip, but I kind of feel like I'm writing porn, here...). JK then picks Jimin up to move him over a bit. Both giggle as JK starts to stand up and then the camera cuts away.  I can't even begin to think what exercising looks like for these two when there aren't cameras on them...

6:55 - JK reads out the words on the Jimin shirt they're all wearing, which happen to be, "BTS Park Jimin, I love you! I root for you! I'm ARMY!" with a huge grin on his face. Jimin laughs - no one else does - and then jokes that they should wear the shirts back to Korea, prompting JK to tell him "bye!" and wave while giggling. 

7:37 - Jimin shows the parts of the shirt design he would change by poking JK's chest, and then JK and JM share a fairly steamy look until RM interrupts. 

7:52 - JK folds up the shirt so JM's face looks weird and Jimin points to him doing it and laughs. No one else does.  Man, these two were really in their own world this whole Toronto trip, weren't they?

8:02 - JM tries to give JK some advice on the game he's about to play. Before starting, JK starts what seems like it's going to be a silly pose, but ends up being him dragging his fingers down his face, neck, and chest. Sadly for JK, JM wasn't looking. Happily for us, we can look as much as we want. 

8:18 - When JM wins a game, JK claps for him. You can probably guess by now that he's the only one who does. 

10:09 - JM steals a piece of steak, then JK does some cross-cut teleporting to come over and sink down into a chair next to him. JM overdoes making his eyes look big and innocent (perhaps hoping to get caught and scolded?).

10:35 - JM makes Jin move when he takes JM's seat next to JK I feel like just the Behind for this episode needs it's own jikook rating! And most of it is watching JK lead the guys in a workout. If you're going to watch just one Run Behind, consider making it this one!

Ep 71 "BTS in Toronto Part 3" (Ep: 3 / KM: 3)

The Toronto one where the guys have dinner, have breakfast, and play games

14:28 - Maybe nothing, but just to note it - in this and the next shot, you can see JM heading towards where JK is lying back on the couch after losing a game, then there's an abrupt cut and everyone is in a totally different position. 

29:20 - JK tells JM the "super-pancake" he made is for him since he has to do the penalties. 

BEHIND 6:59 - JM says that he thinks JK will want to eat and calls out for him.

Ep 72 "BTS and Mafia" (Ep: 3 / KM: 2)

The one in which we learn that BTS is so terrible at the Mafia game that it almost comes back around to being impressive 

3:10 - When Jin says JK is suspicious because he isn't talking, JM defends him, saying "you know he doesn't talk much." 

8:34 - JM seems to direct his appeal to be spared to JK.

18:16 - JK compliments how well Jimin is doing at the game.

20:13 - After Jimin says he's ARMY, JK asks, "do you like me that much?" Then there's a quick cut and Jin is doing a Jim Halpert face at the camera.

28:03 - Confusing maybe-moment - let me know if it's clearer to anyone else! - but after JH is sending finger heart guns, JM points gun fingers directly at JK for no apparent reason. 

BEHIND 2:39 - Before they start playing, JK predicts that JM and Jin will be good at the game.

Eps 73-76 “Run BTS Drama Parts 1-4″ (n/a)

The ones where BTS spend four episodes making a “comedic” skit

01:09 - After JK explains that he had a wisdom tooth taken out, Jimin adds the info that they had to take out the whole root.  09:10 - Even though V is the "director" of Jimin's scene, JK speaks up and takes over the role, saying that directors use informal language and repeating twice in informal language "Jimin, let's go!" He continues speaking informally when Jimin messes up and JK scolds him.  11:40 - When it's JK's turn to deliver a line and he gets nervous about remembering it, JM reads it out loud for him. He also says as soon as JK delivers the line that he did the best job and adds to Hobi, "he doesn't get embarassed, I told you."  16:26 - It's a little hard to see for sure, but it looks like Jimin votes for JK when it's time to choose who should be the skit's director. I'm going to be totally honest with you guys - I didn't rewatch these episodes past this. I first saw it months ago and remember being disappointed and fairly bored through most of it past the first half of the first episode - I don't find the skit funny and the behind-the-scenes stuff isn't amusing enough to make a four-part episode about. I’m sure there are others who completely disagree with me and no judgment if you don't share my opinion! But I'm doing this guide for fun and I don't want to spend two hours rewatching them. 

I don't recall a ton of jikook beyond the above - I think there's a moment in part 3 where JK is getting tired and Jimin offers to take over slating for him. So, anyone who is a fan and knows / finds more jikook moments, please let me know and I will update this guide to reflect that. Otherwise, let's happily move along. :)

Ep 77 “Food Guest Part 1″ (Ep: 4 / KM: 5)

The weirdly-named ones that are prob better translated as "food connoisseurs" but the specifics of the foods theme don't really matter because JIKOOK  

07:41 - When Jin says JK and JM will be competing in a palm-push game, JM says he's already lost (because JK is strong).

07:55 - I'm fairly certain that, if you're a jikook-er, you've seen this moment. It's so unabashedly flirty a description can't really do it justice.   JK and JM are supposed to be playing a game where they put their palms together and shove to see who can make the other lose their balance. JM shoves lightly at JK's chest before they even start the game, then both start giggling. Still giggly, JM asks if JK's ready and JK says he is. JM pushes at JK's palms and JK just swings his arms back as they look at each other and smile. Jin interrupts to ask, "are you a dating couple?" (that's the most direct translation - V app translation is "are you two together?"). JK and JM both laugh, the latter so hard that he spins around, thus losing the game. 

17:08 - JK is staring so intently at Jimin on his knees with a blow-pen in his mouth that he completely misses RM trying to give him a high five. Jin has to call for JK to please respond to RM before JK looks away and returns the high five, laughing and apologizing. He looks back immediately after. 

BEHIND 0:58 - JK gives JM a shoulder massage while holding his chest as JM makes satisfied noises. I've seen this clip in compilations before, but hadn't realized it was also from  this episode. It's really the gift that keeps on giving! 

4:29 - Just prior to the above palm-push game, JM reaches out to do something to JK's sleeve (I think?). The camera cuts before we see clearly.  

4:31 - Slightly different angle of JM and JK giggling at the start of the palm-push game.

7:11 - Reveals that RM actually tried to high five JK and was ignored TWICE before Jin called JK's attention away from JM on his knees with a blow-pen in his mouth. 

Ep 78 “Food Guest Part 2″ (Ep: 3 / KM: 3)

15:00 - JK jokingly asks what the answer is and Jimin giggles at him as the on-screen text says, "how adorable." Unsurprisingly, the others are less enamored. (JK's biggest fans = 1. Jimin  2. Run BTS on-screen text writers)

BEHIND 9:56 - JK watches JM dance playfully, then wiggles his own hips, seeming to want JM's attention. Jimin smiles and starts to say something that gets cut off. 

10:03 - JK films JM as JM dances and smiles while looking into the camera. Jimin is doing silly dance, but JK zooms in on his joyful face. He quickly licks his lips as he watches. 

[0aurelion-sol0]

SNK 135: THE SYNOPSIS AND RANT

So...

It's not the review, I just wanted to say some few words.

First of all, let's just acknowledge that this is a synopsis. It's not the chapter.

Second of all, don't use some spoilers without any context to make a theory. Especially when it's just the synopsis and there aren't any meaningful spoilers.

So let's cut it short, the synopsis is this: The battle engages on the back of the Founding Titan, but Eren is nowhere to be found and Armin and his troop quickly find themselves in trouble.

So people immediatly thought that meant Eren was still in Shiganshina using the Warhammer's ability.

There's just a few nitpicks I have about this theory... Just a few:

First, someone would have noticed. Judging where Eren's position is located before he transforms, someone in Shiganshina at some point would have noticed a big crystal or something titan like with something connected to it. It doesn't make sense. And Eren was not in a place where he could hide himself under something as the land was flat.

Second of all:

HAVE YOU...

SEEN THE SIZE...

OF THAT THING ?!!!

Eren could literally be located ANYWHERE on that thing. But no people need to think he is in control when...

Third of all, he isn't. The guy lost his head, keeps seeing traumatic flashbacks, teleports in paths, is a kid while having a semi-real dream of "That Sight" and apparently can watch through birds. Every character asks him, if he is really free ? And we are still begging for the guy to be in total control of all of this ? What for some kind of proto, mumbo jumbo Lelouch type of plan ? Please, every one in the fandom is bragging about this plan that he has when they are multiple elements that shows us, he is not in control of himself whatsoever ? And frankly, the manga which is an anti-war, anti-violence, anti-imperialism, anti-genocide will give a Lelouch ending (which is so predictable and only the typical shonen " I have your shonen protagonist n°3456 as a profile pic " would put out there) and A SECRET PLAN TO A GUY WHO IS DESTROYING THE WORLD, huh ?!?

That doesn't make any sense, Reiner, Annie and Bertolt didn't have one and fucked up on so many aspects when they tried to "sAvE tHe wOrLd". Why would he have such an advantage ? Because he is the main protagonist ? Give me a break.

Fourth of all, if something like this was to happen, the only thing that would make some little sense was either if Eren was being dragged by this huge titan but like why would he put so much effort in being in that state when it makes him so vulnerable, not only to others but to the colossal titans who burns everything. AND AGAIN someone would have noticed.

In the ocean ? What ? How will he come back up when he finished killing all babies ?

No that doesn't make sense. Forget it.

Eren got shot in the head, the only thing that makes sense is if all of his titan is made of hardening. And that his head is seperated which is clearly shown :

And the rest of his body is somewhere else on his Titan.

For example, he won't be in his nape (obviously, it's the weak spot.) but on his spine shown by the strings of flesh coming from it's spine.

It also reinforces the image that he is a puppet which is fitting since nothing he does makes any sense whatsoever especially like:

Lead two parties at war while none of them wanted to, siding with the guy you didn't want at first to save your lives but wants to eradicate those very same lives, attacking and hurting the friends who you want to have " long happy lives ", creating a civil war in your own country, a racist supremacist group that almost kills your friends, using yourself as bait when you are the Founder in a country that uses titans against you, not giving any information about your whereabouts, not giving any information via memories about EREN KRUGER THE GUY WHO WAS A SPY IN THE MARLEYAN MILITARY, also siding with a guy who wants to push the world against you and did so by suggesting to go to paradise to retrieve the Founder while I repeat... THEY DIDN'T WANT TO DO, doing an attack that will lead the world against you. Choosing to ignore every peaceful outcome even the people who are doing takes you with them to do it and than asking sympathy points for another way when he literally destroyed every option to do. Using the Rumbling which will kill also people that were living next to the walls, the titans in the walls will probably also stomp on villages that were located inside the walls as the titans were placed in a circular shape and ALSO...

Could... I don't know... KILL HISTORIA WHO IS LOCATED IN A ISOLATED FARM INSIDE THE WALLS, "PREGNANT" AND CANNOT RUN FAST IF COLOSSAL TITANS COMES AND WALK OVER HER.

*sigh*

Narratively this will also be stupid, like we did all of this just to find out he's not here ? A whole party died, Hange died for people to use the plane and he's not here ? And what we watch Humanity get killed ? We go back home, depressed ? Everyone is like " we love and understand Eren ? He goes back to Hisu, I am the dad, we feed the heteronormatives while the manga destroyed every cliche of that ? He gets a baby while he killed every babies " You are free." He wins, while he manipulated the whole thing ? Oh no he gets killed, secret plan, Eren is Lelouch, satisfying ending, his only fate is to die as a stupid symbol...

...God...

I don't even have the strenght to write. Why do people think like this ? Why do people feel the need to put the Alliance down with every chance they get and elevate Eren as this shonen protagonist freedom seeker demi god waifu meat beater ?

People are weird.

The guy has a change that happens off screen, he manipulates pretty much everything since the timeskip and he acts completely different from what we know of him and we're supposed to take it that way and consider it genius writing.

Really ?!

We need to move plot points, we need to move forward, we cannot keep dragging the story with endless unneeded double pages of violence and empty discussions for character who haven't expressed any feelings toward each other ever since the start outside of the anime who changed the story and added these pointless scenes to please those who masturbate to the three female characters of those ships. Like I don't know ( Eremika, Erehisu, Aruani...)

This is just the synopsis, wait for the review.

I really hope this chapter is good and not another 133 OR fucking 134.

[diyunho]

The Joker X Reader - “Ghost Driver”

When The Joker says you’re his, it means you’re essential to him because he needs your services for his own gain; it literally has zero affectionate connotations. Turbo is The King’s Ghost Driver and although she’s a legend, her life is far from perfect.

Part 2

“Where’s all your stuff?!” Frost asks since the apartment is pretty much empty.

“Gave it to Adam,” you sulk. “He wouldn’t sign the divorce papers so I gave in; I don’t even care… I’m glad he’s out of here.”

Jonny gazes at you in silence, a million words rushing through his mind and The Joker’s henchman can’t articulate anything close to what he would like to vociferate besides foolish small talk:

“How are you holding up?”

“Not sure… I don’t even know what the hell happened to us…It used to be so great and then he started making comments about my weight, gossiping with his friends behind my back, then cheated… I couldn’t handle it,” Y/N confesses although Frost is already acquainted with the dreadful story of her crumbled marriage.

“Not what the hell happened to us,” he decides to underline his personal opinion. “I think the question should be what the hell happened to him: you didn’t do anything wrong. And I believe you look perfect,” he mumbles the last sentence.

“What was that?” you search the fridge for his favorite soda.

“Nothing... nothing…”

“Here you go,” you offer the cold Fanta to a distraught companion.

“Thanks, Y/N. Here’s the money for tonight,” he gives you the envelope. “As usually, half now , half after the job is done.”

“OK,” you accept the terms without issues because it’s how The Clown Prince of Crime pays for your services. “Jonny, why is there an extra thousand dollars in here?!”

“Ummm…” the man tries to find a reasonable explanation yet Y/N can’t accept his strategy.

“Should I text Mister Joker and thank him for the bonus?”

“Nope,” he bites on his lip.

“I appreciate it,” you return the extra cash to Frost. ”I’m fine. Really.”

“Well…” he takes the bills and stashes them in his wallet, “… let me know if you need anything, alright?”

“I promise I will, “ you smile. “I swear on my Turbo honor,” the joke makes him smile also.

“Hey Y/N… I was thinking… maybe one of these days, if you feel like it, we could… and it’s entirely up to you, no pressure… maybe you would want to… ”

Frost’s phone keeps ringing and he retrieves from his suit’s pocket, annoyed about the interruption.

“It’s Audra,” he huffs while declining the call.

“Might be important,” you sort of urge him to answer.

“Meh, I doubt it. She will chew my ears off regarding our relationship that ended 3 months ago. I’m not interested,” he strolls towards the exit due to another pressing matter he has to attend. “I have to go, Mister Joker has a meeting soon; I’ll see you later, Y/N.”

“See you,” you wave and lock the door when your cell alerts of an incoming text from The Joker.

Downloading two pictures… Pictures?!

“Oh…my… God…!” you hold your breath when the first image depicts a totally naked King of Gotham reflected in the mirror at his gym and squeal when the second one shows a close up of his mid-section.

“Oh my God!” you burst out laughing as you admire the unexpected missive. “Heeeelllo Mister Joker,” you mutter and actual phrases pop up on your screen.

“I sent these to the wrong number, Y/N. Ignore and erase them!”

“Of course, sir!” you immediately reply with no intention of doing it for the moment.

Why?

The hilarious error shook you up from apathy and it’s worth saving those pics for a bit longer since you can’t remember the last time something got your attention after the messy divorce.

***************

11:49 PM

The Joker is the first one to get in the car next to you, firmly clutching to his suitcase full of diamonds freshly stolen from “Diamond Emporium” store on Glissan Avenue. You notice the other goons sneaking to the cars deliberately positioned around nearby streets for tonight’s robbery. How come J doesn’t go with them?

The dilemma is simple:

The green haired menace typically arrives with his regular crew when he plans heists but has Y/N pick him up after the job is done.

“Hi Mister Joker,” you greet your employer.

“Hey,” he acknowledges your presence. “Did you delete the pictures?” The Joker gets straight to the point.

“Yes,” you lie and tell the truth in the same time: you erased the whole body image but kept the close up one for future reference.

“Good. What did you think?” the hasty interrogation prompts a careful chosen response.

“You look very…,” and you pause in order to find the correct term since a tiny mistake could set him off. “… Healthy, Mister Joker.”

“I do,” he huffs quite pleased with your statement.

You wish to add more but Frost and the new hire squeeze in the back seat awaiting orders.

“You’re in luck kid,” Jonny places a box filled with precious gems at his feet. “Your first assignment and you get to meet Turbo.”

The young man opens his mouth in amazement as you move the fingers from your right hand in the air instead of a proper introduction.

“You’re Turbo?! I thought you’re a guy!” Nick blurs out and Frost punches him in the head, displeased with the observation.

“Sounds empty,” you growl while The Clown snorts.

“My Ghost Driver A GUY??!! Ha-ha-ha-ha!” the unnerving, screechy noises make the newbie shrivel up. “Turbo, A GUY!” he continues to amuse himself before giving Nick a psychotic glare.

“I’m…I’m so sorry, I meant no disrespect,” he nervously stutters especially since J called you “his”.

The poor bastard’s oblivious about what the label implies in The Clown’s universe: when The Joker says you’re his, it means you’re essential to him because he needs your services for his own gain; it literally has zero affectionate connotations.

“Where the fuck did you find this buffoon?” you chew on your gum, irritated.

“He’s Richard’s nephew,” Jonny sucks on his teeth.

“Uncle Panda is infinitely smarter,” Y/N barks at the revelation.

“I’m truly sorry,” Nick apologizes again and you cut him off.

“Save it!... … I hear sirens,” you slowly inhale and The King calmly articulates:

“I forgot to mention I accidentally triggered the silent alarm.”

Translation: he did it on purpose.

You snicker at the first lights blinking in the distance, excited to have some fun after stressing so much in the past weeks. The vehicles belonging to the gang scatter in different directions as you step on the gas pedal, accelerating towards the numerous police cars answering to the 10-64 code.

“That’s my girl!” J cracks his neck, already hyped at the adrenaline rush burning his veins: The Ghost Driver is perfect to offer him what he craves and she always delivers.

That’s why Turbo is his.

************

4:37 AM

“Hi…Mister…Mister Joker…” you attempt to talk without slurring.

“It’s Ella,” his girlfriend snarls.

“Why…where is he?” you guzzle down half of glass of wine, adamant in having a chat with your boss.

“Well, after you two had a merry time being chased by cops all over town, he came home and now he’s sorting out the diamonds,” the woman bitterly reports.

“I wanna talk to him,” you sniffle and drink some more alcohol.

“You just saw him. I’m sure it can wait until tomorrow.”

“I’m sure it can’t!” you shout. “I just received important information he’d be i…interested in,” you finally make it through the whole sentence.

Ella stomps in the living room, vexed at your behavior.

“It’s Turbo,” she shoves the phone in his fingers. “The bitch is wasted!”

“What did you call me?!” the appalled Y/N is about to burst when The Joker’s deep voice resonates I her ear.  

“Yeah?”

“Sir,” you correct your bitter tone. “I h-have very important news!”

“I’m listening,” J ignores his woman as she cusses you out.

“I have to tell you in person, sir. Let’s go on a date and I’ll reveal the entire shocking...”

“Huh?!”

“I have crucial information…”

“Quit repeating yourself!” The Joker interrupts. “You’re not making any sense. Go to sleep and we’ll catch up after you sober up.”

“But I wanna go on date Mister Joker,” you gulp the rest of the wine and prepare for a fourth round.

“Why, because I look healthy?” J mocks and Ella sighs, not understanding the odd conversation she’s witnessing. “… …. … Hello?”

A loud thud, then dialing tone at the other end of the line.

“I think she passed out,” The King of Gotham concludes, not particularly worried at the sudden halt of your monologue.

***************

3 Days Later

The late meeting is almost done: the buyers already purchased the diamonds J had for sale, among them your ex-husband Adam that has a small crowd gathered next to him; he’s supposedly famous for his crappy attitude enjoyed by jerks sharing the same ludicrous humor.

“You know I’m sensible when it comes to challenges and I couldn’t grasp why she doesn’t want my help in shedding a few pounds. What’s the harm in that?! I love curves but sometimes I don’t, ya’ know?” he winks and the group laughs.

The Joker is arranging money in duffle bags, his concentration diverted by the impromptu comedic performance. What the heck are they yapping about?

Frost is certainly in a foul mood: J can guess his trusted henchman is worked up since the usual chilled Jonny can’t control his anger.

“What’s wrong with being voluptuous, hm?” he addresses Adam and it clicks for The Joker: this is about Y/N.

“Nothing at all,” he smirks and the laughter around the room dies out because not too many dare screwing with Jonny Frost. “I was merely emphasizing that if a woman can’t lose weight, she’s doomed. Y/N lost me, how is she going to get another stud if she…”

“Perhaps she’s not interested in pieces of shit; definitely had her share!” Frost grumbles at the absurd remarks.

The Joker has no clue about what’s going on, yet he won’t deny today’s entertainment is far from boring.

“Give me a break!” Adam scoffs. “Who’d sniff her tail if she refuses to get skinnier? Ooohhh, wait a minute, we might have an admirer,” he arrogantly slides your cell out of his coat. “I was browsing her pictures and what do you know? A gentleman sent Y/N a picture of his junk three days ago. I am deeply sorry, my bad. She does have somebody sniffing her tail. What kind of loser sends images of his dangling goodies to another dude’s wife?!” 

“Ex-wife!” Jonny sneers whilst J’s calculation leads to an easy verdict: you kept one pic.

“Whose junk is this?! Is it yours?” your estranged spouse accuses Frost without any evidence.

“It’s my junk,” The Joker’s serene revelation makes everyone freeze: they have no idea how to react at the puzzling escalation of events.

Is he bluffing?!

“I wasn’t aware I require permission in order to text whatever I desire to whomever I want.”

Awkward silence and Frost approaches Adam, boiling with indignation.

“Why do you have Y/N’s phone?”

Your husband doesn’t have a chance to justify his action: Jonny’s punch throws him to the ground, immediately followed by his unsettling ultimatum.  

“You son of a bitch, what did you do to her?”

Your former husband gets on his elbow ready to attack when The King’s stern inquiry stops his motion:

“WHERE.IS.MY.TURBO?”

****************

After 1 hour

Frost lifts you higher in his arms while you keep wheezing, trying to regain control.

“I’m sorry…I attacked you,” the weakened Y/N whispers. “I thought you were Adam...”

After being abducted and left to starve for the last 3 days, you had one clear purpose: to kill the guy that did it. Adam surely crossed the line with his despicable plan of making you lose weight: he creeped in your apartment, kidnapped you and took you to his home where you were chained in the cellar until Jonny found you. The basement was dark and you couldn’t see, that’s why you used whatever strength you had left in order to attack the individual responsible for your misfortune.

Turned out it was actually a rescue party although Frost is now the proud owner of a beautiful bump courtesy of Y/N.

“No problem,” Jonny takes you to his SUV, carefully laying you down in the passenger’s seat. “How’s your head?” he wipes the dried blood on your cheeks since Adam knocked you out unconscious while you were talking to The Joker after the heist.

“I’m OK,” you start crying, mostly mad at yourself for being such an easy prey, yet you didn’t see it coming.

“You know… It’s OK not to be OK,” Frost opens a bottle of water and gives it to you. “I’ll take you home, you can take a shower and I’ll have the doctor come for an emergency evaluation. Are you hungry?”

“I’m so hungry,” tears stream down your face and Jonny has a great proposal.

“I’ll order some food and if you want me to I can stay with you. After you feel better, we could… and it’s entirely up to you, no pressure… maybe you would want to…”

The Joker rolls his eyes, deciding to emerge from the shadows.

“Wow, this is painful to watch. Frost believes he’s still in high school: basically he’s asking you on a date. There, done. No need to beat around the bush. Jesus!” J scolds about a subject he shouldn’t mess with. “I have a heist next week, you better be good to go by then!” he gestures at the confused duo. “If you’ll excuse me, I have my own date to honor. We’re done here, yes?”

“Yes sir,” Jonny replies for both, unwilling to split hairs with The Joker and his obnoxious aberrations. “Here’s your cell,” he returns the item to you and you snatch it, relieved. You seem to have an outburst of energy as you unlock the secured folder.

“Where’s Adam?”

“I don’t know, we had an altercation at the warehouse then he scrammed,” Frost reports, ogling a strange looking Y/N typing on her phone.

“He won’t be able to hide,” you grin and send the attachment to The Joker.

*************

“We’ll be late for dinner,” Ella kisses The Clown. “I’m not a 100% positive why we had to waste precious time and come for her,” she pouts and drags him after her towards their vehicle.

J’s phone chimes and he stops in his tracks, not expecting a message from you seconds after the encounter.

“Mister Joker, you were very generous to share pictures with me.

Allow me to do the same.

Your Turbo.”

Imagines downloading and he’s not sure what to do when pics appear one by one: frames taken by the private investigator you hired to follow Adam when you suspected he was cheating. The bastard was diligent, but he was eventually caught in the act three days ago.

Who’s the woman he’s with?

The Joker’s Queen.

“What’s wrong?” she frowns at the visible switch in his temper.

The Clown ruthlessly slams Ella against the hood while her cell also receives a text from Y/N:

“Who’s the bitch now?”

 Also read: MASTERLIST

You can also follow me on Wattpad and Ao3 under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[caffeinatedfantasy]

The Seal pt 22: Alibi

{ Chris: [bio] [Prologue] [Story in Tumblr] [ AO3 Link From Beginning ]

It had been a little bit since I'd gotten to Devildom and it was the first time I was giving any thought to how much money I had. As part of the program, I was given a stipend for "living expenses" [even though most of those were taken care in the House of Lamentation], and I received grimm for completing lessons and finishing tasks. [And sometimes I'd just have more grimm in there deposited randomly. I didn't ask.] I was a bit too careless with money perhaps [I blamed Mammon's influence for that] and didn't pay much attention to how much I had very often.

But I was thinking that I wanted to do something for the guys. Five of them had made pacts with me. Lucifer went out of his way to make sure I was taken care of, and Belphegor was upstairs all alone still. I hadn't figured out how to get him out yet. A pact with Lucifer was going to be hard to manage anyway.

In the meantime though, I wanted to get something or do something for them. To show that I appreciated them putting up with me. But checking my account, I found my expenses had run a little... Well, I felt like Mammon. Sitting next to him didn't help, as his own greed washed over me a little at the realization and I finally, finally, felt that need for more money. He must have sensed it as well because he looked at me suddenly, surprised without me needing to say anything.

"I need more grimm." I muttered, and he nodded in understanding. Then he cheered up, as if struck by an idea.

Which seemed to be true enough, as he went on a long explanation of an idea for both of us to go and get some grimm. It seemed... Questionable to say the least. Possibly dangerous [to me, at least, as a demon, it was possible he wouldn't have any issues] as well. And well. He sounded so excited but it seemed like something I'd have a hard time with. And that I might get in trouble for. He looked so excited by it though, I couldn't help but smiling back at him. It sounded like something that he could manage. Didn't even need my help from the sounds of it. Which meant there was one thing I could do for him.

"I was thinking about just picking up one of the part time jobs from the board." I told him, resting my cheek on my hand. He deflated a little bit at this, so I continued. "But that means I'll be in the best position to be your alibi for Lucifer."

That cheered him back up. Bouncing up unto his feet, he looked excited once again, taking my hands and pulling me up, spinning me. We took a little time from there discussing plans. He was going to come with me to Hell's Kitchen, I'd get a couple pictures of the two of us in case Lucifer wanted me to send a selfie for verification. [Somewhere he wasn't paying attention, some where he was.] As well as a couple pictures of him just about, including in the back in case Lucifer came in. He'd come pick me up after my shift [and after his plan was done], and we'd go home together. Hopefully without Lucifer being any the wiser.

We had to wait until the end of classes before we headed off to Hell's Kitchen, though. And the owner insisted that Mammon work at least an hour if we were gonna take selfies, even though we got those out of the way in 10 minutes. Mammon still did the hour and ducked out, leaving me to do the rest of the shift on my own. I told him what time I'd be off and he'd have until then for his plan.

I was assigned bussing at first. I'd offered to do back up for drinks, but he informed me that since I was human, I'd have to get acid-safe gloves first. [They had a pair, but they were made for someone much larger than me and might've had a hole.] So I spent much of my time clearing tables.  Very little of my time dealing with the demons. Except the [more than] occasional comment of "Are you on the menu?" [I was used to comments like those back in the human world and blew them off the same way, purposely ignoring that they might mean that literally rather than it just being an innuendo.] None of them got handsy, at least.

I did have to send Lucifer one of our pre-planned selfies at some point, though. Two, in fact, before he seemed to accept it. I made a point to text Mammon to make sure he knew that Lucifer had asked and I'd sent the pics.

I didn't get a reply. But I hadn't expected one, really.

Overall, my shift had gone well. I'd actually gotten tipped by some of the demons that were [I think] amused by the fact that I was working there instead of relying on the stipend. Or they appreciated that I wasn't afraid of them. Even though more than a few of them were in their true forms. And I know that a few were amused when I was flirty with them [it was a tactic I'd learned the couple of times I'd bartended and it seemed extra effective with demons. Go figure.] At the end of the night, the owner grinned down at me, counting out my grimm.

"Bit surprised a little human like you toughed it out." He was teasing me, gruff voice belying a chuckle.

"And I'll be coming back too, be sure of it!" I told him, grinning back when he handed me my pay [and a bag of food that I'd decided to get on my way out] before waving and heading out.

Mammon was supposed to be there when I left. He should have been there about fifteen minutes ago, even. But when I left Hell's Kitchen, he was nowhere to be seen. Checking my D.D.D. there wasn't a message from him either. I sent him a reminder text that I was done and waited. And waited. And waited. I was glad that it wasn't cold outside here in Devildom right now. I could have gone back into the restaurant to wait for Mammon in there, but... Not sure if it was stubbornness or my anxiety keeping me from wanting to go back in and admit that my demon babysitter hadn't shown up.

I mean, it wasn't like I needed him to walk me home, after all. I was just waiting because if I came home alone while he was still out, Lucifer would get suspicious and all that effort we'd put in for planning it ahead of time would be for nothing. So I tried calling him. It rang and rang and rang. He didn't answer. And this just wasn't like him and I was starting to worry. This really wasn't like him. Mammon was almost clingy when it came to any sort of contact. He'd get huffy if I didn't him right away, and almost always answered within the first ring. Second one at the latest.

And it didn't matter that he was a demon. Or even the second strongest of his brothers. Or that, logically, he'd probably just turned it off as part of his plan. It didn't matter because my mind was racing with terrible scenarios and the bitter feeling of 'what if it happens again?', the bile in the back of my throat bitter and burning. I called him again, trying to keep myself from panicking, but again there was no answer. I paced for a little bit, debating what to do. I glanced in the direction of the House of Lamentation. He might be there already, figuring I'd left without him since he was late, or he'd gotten caught by Lucifer and was getting reamed out. [Very likely.] Or he couldn't stopped on his way back from a successful job and decided to go shopping. That sounded very much like him.

I should just head back to the House. Even if he wasn't there yet, he would be able to get himself out of trouble. There shouldn't have been any problems big enough to-- But those things happened sometimes. Dumb little things sometimes led to really bad things and Mammon could be-- I clicked dial again on my D.D.D. as I made my decision. He'd told me where he was going to be. I'd go there. I'd probably end up meeting him on the way, surely. I let the phone ring as I started walking in that direction. And hung up again as it started to go to voicemail.

He wasn't answering. And Gods did that worry me. I had to keep repeating to myself 'he's fine, he's fine, nothing's happened' over and over to myself, trying not to run. There was something in my mind that told me running would be bad. Instinctively I knew running would draw the attention of predators. But I dialed again as I started to pass by Purgatory Hall, but still no answer. This was one of those times I wish I knew magic like Solomon did and-- He wasn't answering and I couldn't summon him like a real witch and-- I'd already started to run when I remembered the other night.

Nearly tripping in my attempt to stop suddenly, I realized I could try to call to him like I had Asmo the other night? Not with the sex, but with... I could try some sort of greed if I could figure out which one. I already had money from my job, and didn't want any of his things, but I really really wanted to see him. I wanted him to drop whatever he was doing and come to me and see me and touch me. The greedy selfish desires of what I wanted from him right then. I had to ignore the idea that it was selfish of me. I wanted to hold his hands and know he was alright and [and that might not have been selfish enough] and I wanted him to fucking carry me back to the House of Lamentation because my feet were sore from my shift and I wanted--

I heard the shriek the same moment someone pushed me to the ground. I felt something hit my back, digging into my skin. I felt the hunger of the demon as my head hit the paving stones. I started to curl into myself, thinking that they'd go after me more. But whoever it was grabbed my food and then ran off, leaving me there. My D.D.D was ringing, but the pain was finally hitting me and I could feel the gashes in my side and the blood wetting my skin.

I needed-- I needed to get patched up.

I- I put pressure on my side with one hand, trying to keep the blood tampered, and glanced at my phone. I caught sight of Mammon's name as the call went to voicemail. I should-- should call him back. My hands were shaking as I tried. My thumb slipped on my recent contacts and I hit Solomon's number instead. He answered right away. I gasped out his name. I was feeling dizzy and I think he asked me where I was. I could see Purgatory Hall. I'd-- I'd just go there. I think I told him that. I.. I must have because I started staggering towards the building. "I--Uh... Need to call Mammon." I muttered, trying to excuse myself from the call. I didn't wait for him to respond before I hung up and tried calling Mammon again. It barely even rang before he answered. He was yelling. I could hear the panic in his voice. Asking me where I was, what happened, who'd attacked me and-- How did he know I'd been attacked? I frowned a little bit at that.

And then someone-- white hair-- Solomon was there and I tried to give him a smile, but I winced instead, a shot of pain tearing through my side. And he just picked me up, rushing me inside of Purgatory Hall. I leaned my head against his shoulder because I was getting very dizzy at that point. I needed-- I needed to rest a bit. That sounded like a good idea. 

Yea. Just a little--

[princess--catherine]

Maybe y’all will hate me for this, I’m all for women’s rights and the Me Too movement but has it maybe taken a turn it shouldn’t have? I can already feel the hatred

Just in the past couple weeks I’ve seen at least 3 “predators/rapists exposed”, and after looking into it I saw no predatory behavior to expose that was given. And people are losing their shit over this “cancelation?” The evidence for this one? “Had a minor backstage”...you think that didn’t and doesn’t currently happen with idk, every Disney star EVER and boy band on the radio? I’m sure a portion of Billie Eilish fans who’s parents buy backstage passes are REAL young, is she cancelled too? Since when does having a minor in your presence = any type of sexual behavior? This allegation causally mentions “backstage minor” and quickly moves to “predator” with no cohesion there. Since when does an adult simply being around a minor automatically make you guilty of doing sick shit? The “evidence” shown was pretty pathetic: cropped and blocked out texts with no name as to who it’s from, no name but said star predator, no time stamp or date, no pics, no voice memos, no emails, no proof of any kind that there was any truth to the claims, no detail, no real allegation actually even made from what I saw. Unless the “so and so did this” part was in invisible ink. I could literally google the date of a ‘insert famous person here’ concert or general tour dates, and do the same with a texting app or with someone else’s phone. This is an Accusation on someone of a serious sex crime on the sole basis maybe 5 texts, some of which are hidden, and ALL of which are anonymous, detail no criminal activity, are never worth ending or attempting to make sure someone’s career over.

Another one I saw was an explanation that another social media person made a somewhat crude comment/gusture towards a woman he knew but wasn’t super familiar with. One time, no actual touching. He was later told by a friend “not cool, other lady friend did not like”, he did as he should have and apologized, and it didn’t happen again- admittedly on both sides. The two girls told him everything was cool and okay, no harm no foul, don’t worry about it. It didn’t happen again and the friendship continued. Days later, “evidence” comes out from one of them citing him as a sexual predator for this situation. This incident. Yeah, it’s not cool to get in peoples space or compliment them in certain ways if your friendship is not on that level and it hasn’t been established. That I agree with, that it simply wasn’t very polite, but a) no one was actually touched physically in anyway and b) the “crude” comment from my understanding was about an outfit fitting her well or being firm fitting. Yeah, that might make ya feel a lil icky, but there was no sexual suggestion or threat. There’s a huge difference between unwanted attention and sexual harassment. Someone else later gets involved but says she’s “not comfortable/willing to discuss” but still insists he’s a predator but doesn’t show a single shred of any involvement or information. If I was these people being falsely accused, getting death treats and doxxed, and ultimately, “cancelled”/therefore loss of income possibly long term , with basically no evidence or someone saying shit like “yes, that’s a predator. Nobody gets to know why I’m saying that though. I don’t want to relive it, my bad. You horrible people need to stop supporting this sex offender!” I’d be sueing the shit out of someone and everyone for slander. Like this is unreal to me. It really blows my mind.

Before you message me hateful shit, hear me out. I’m not saying these guys are stand up, amazing, perfectly well behaved dudes. I’m not saying they’ve never done anything predatory or wrong before in their lives or careers. Lord knows narcissistic and higher than thou types run entertainment. I’m sure they all got their attitude and behavioral problems. I’m just saying the info I just read and described is almost nothing being real generous, no rational person sees that and labels someone a sex offender. You’re accusing someone of a very serious crime, in a lot of cases a fat ole felony, being a RSO list sometimes for a lifetime. Bill Cosby? Deserve it. Weinstien? Deserve it. Epstein? Deserved to be under the jail. I understand there’s not always physical evidence, or maybe there’s not enough to build a case/a case is unwanted by victim. Some say they want people to know and be warned. If that’s what you truly want, you truly truly are trying to protect others, go in 150%. Everything you got. But when this person publicly and openly calling someone out by name for being a “rapist/sexual predator”, absolutely dragging them thru the mud, and the reasoning, the justification for this is that he was dating other women? nah sis. That’s not how this works, getting played, while scummy, is NOT RAPE/SEXUAL ASSAULT/etc. (*this is excluding things that don’t apply to this particular story like recanting consent or knowingly passing on an STI) So sure, he’s a probably a POS, clearly unloyal, he’s maybe learned the art of sweet talkin his way into this one way monogamous relationship, and I frankly wouldnt feel bad if one of those girls who got played popped 3 of his tires, bought a fuck ton of spiders and sneak them into his bedroom or something. But not jail or prison. What he did (unless other info comes out) isn’t something to be uplifted or encouraged, it’s poor, unfair behavior. But what he did is not CRIMINAL. It’s just shitty and inconsiderate. And I know y’all are reading this thinkin “fuck this bitch”, making assumptions before you read a fraction of what I’m saying.

So let me explain a situation I was accidentally involved in a few years ago with someone who was “famous” around those parts and had lots of fans and groupies. Let’s call him “Lee”. Long story short, a friend and I were with him and different other people basically from like 8-9 pm to around 4 am. He was alone (out of my sight) only 3 times: once to use the bathroom at my friends before leaving, once in the men’s bathroom at a club, and for maybe 5 minutes when I had to change at my friends place before going back over. They lived in the same complex and stuff so it was basically throwing on some sweats and taking an elevator down. We hangout, drink, smoke, talk. Lowkey, chill.

I wake up the next day, someone texted me this link about “Lee” raping a girl. I’m thinking “holy shit, that’s scary and insane, we were just with him last night drinking and shit.” Keep reading...it says it was the night before. Same date we were with him. And the time the assault supposedly took place was when we had come back to his place, where other people were already there, we were sitting there forever talking/whatever, this girl who pointed the finger was not even in the room and left before we did. She poked her head in once and asked where Lee’s roommate was. He told her cookout, it’s late so it’ll be a minute. Asked her if she wanted to hang out with us. She declined. So I figured maybe this info was wrong somehow and at the time I wasn’t making the connection between that girl and this story. I was like, no way a girl would lie about that of all things and especially knowing it’d likely get picked up by the local media, or at least local gossip. Her life here would be over. My friend and I decided to go talk to the police even though I avoid the damn police at all costs. The first thing I asked this officer was: “are you POSITIVE this is the date, place, and time, and are you POSITIVE “Lee” is who she is accusing?” And I asked that mostly because I was not about to defend or vouch for someone about a situation I wasn’t present for. Also, I wasn’t the biggest fan of “Lee”, so I sure as shit I wasn’t getting myself involved and going to bat for him without knowing it’s right. The Officer was very adamant that all that info was correct, victim was very sure. I explained to him everything I explained above, but I’m sure in better detail and included texts, pics, videos all with times, plus receipts showing how this isn’t adding up. He wasn’t alone the entire night and early morning. Officer ask me if she (the victim) was visiting a roommate of Lee’s, if they were sleeping together during her visit, I told him the truth which was that I didn’t really know for sure but it was a possibility. He told me somebody else had claimed she was no longer welcome for unknown reasons and believed this to be be related. I explain to the officer that I won’t speak on her time with the roommate because I saw her only long enough for her to ask a question and respond to another. Before she peeped out the door, I had no clue anyone was in there. I said I think she told me her name but I’m awful with names even sober so. He started getting kinda hostile and cutting me short. I repeated exactly what I told him the first time: I’m only speaking on what I witnessed and what I know to be true. So, if you and she are correctly reciting the time, place, person being accused, this accusation is untrue. He first makes a bitchy threat like “you know these girls who lie for these athlete boys can really get in trouble? They all end up broke after the NFL anyway if they even make it. Lying for a friend is illegal, that’s breaking the law and will get YOU in jail.” I lost all my fear of speaking to a police officer at this point because they KNOW this man did not just call me a liar to my face despite my 1:2 of the evidence already fucking up this accusation. I told him that I honestly wasn’t a fan either professionally or personally of “Lee” and I would lie for no one regardless of friendship or status about this, I’d turn in my own flesh and bloood brother and sing like a bird if I caught him doing any sex offender shit. So again, I told this slow man with 2 braincelle this was the reason I asked about how sure he was and he believed the victim was, on the time, place, person, etc. Officer says something along the lines of “well, something happened to this girl and this boy’s gonna be hurtin for it. Someone’s getting charged here.” Which I dunno bout y’all, maybe I’m reading it wrong. But What I gathered from that is: “I’ve decided to be judge and jury in this situation and moreorless declare this young man guilty despite evidence in front of my own eyeballs that shows that there is a good chance the accused is innocent.

I have no idea why this happened. But after we spoke to that dickhead cop it was dropped relatively quickly. I don’t remember now if she pulled the charges herself or the state denied to prosecute. And even still, this followed him. The internet is forever. When his great grandkids google his college career, that will show up. Please keep in mind this was a black athlete, playing ball for a big college in the south, with a white girl accuser, all the cops I saw at that station were white in the short time I was there and at least the one I spoke to had his mind made up. He was loud and clear about that. He said basically the same to my friend who was interviewed separately, that he was determined to convict him, he was “the one”. This city I’m speaking of has been sued for police brutality against BPOC and I’ve heard my friends/classmates getting called the N word (hard ER) in the broad, open day light. So yeah add that info in with the rest and come to your own conclusion.

Before anyone comes for my throat again: idk exactly what DID happen but I know what DID NOT. Which to be clear, is pretty specifically: this rape with this person, did not happen here and at this time. So I’m not saying something didn’t happen but under different circumstances. I know trauma can mess with memories and if something did happen under different circumstances, I am so sorry that happened to her, I wouldn’t wish sexual assault on my worst enemy. I’m also not saying she necessarily had ill intentions or knew it would proceed and go viral as it did. The point is I just don’t know, no clue. Not throwing any blame or shade her way, all blame and shade on that cop though. ACABs, no excuse for his ass.

Anyway, y’all don’t gotta believe this since it’s been a few years and I highly doubt that stuff is anywhere in my phone like 4 iPhones and two laptops later. No reason to front, I don’t gain anything by lying but a guilty conscience. But this scenario that I btw, very much did not wish to be a part of, showed me another side of things. Can we agree to yes of course, trust and support women but also trust evidence and testimony? While, yes, stats show few women lie about this, can we at the same time understand questioning and thoroughly investigating such a heinous crime? Can we also recognize the system is literally built to “serve & protect” some by severely and systematically oppressing others? There are people, too many damn people, who have lost absolutely everything, served major time in big boy maximum security 23-1s, and have been put to death, based on biases and little to no evidence.

Next time you see an accusation, regardless of what it is, please do a little research. Make your own conclusion. Put yourself in their shoes, would you want to be “convicted” (either legally or through SM bullshit) on a snip it of convo with almost no information/context? Called a rapist cause you led someone on? No. You wouldn’t. Actually for any crime for that matter. You would reasonably ask and expect for it to be fair, two sided, and with as much evidence or info as possible. So let’s treat musicians, athletes, influencers, celebs the same way. Let’s not condemn before gathering as much information as possible. If not, I am so afraid we will drive an innocent person to suicide. We would all feel so guilty if someone was driven to suicide over false or misleading statements. Let’s avoid this, please.

[deaf-bakugou]

Hello! I have an au(for Sanders Sides) where one of the characters is deaf. Would it be all right if I ask you a couple of questions to help ensure I'm not completely messing up how I write him? Of course, you don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable or anything. I guess my first question would be how much can you hear with your hearing aids? And without? Do you're hearing aids ever feel uncomfortable or make certain sounds unbearable? I'll probably be back with more if its all right

Hey! Hey! Please feel free to ask me all of the questions you want! You can direct message me and it will be easier for us to properly discuss things like that. So imma be honest with you hearing loss is vastly different for every person and no one 'hears' exactly the same! With me hearing aids out... well I am not very reliable! My left ear is far worse than my right ear. On my left side I can't hear much at all. Loud noises! Crashes and bangs and sirens. All of this depends on distance and environment though. Example. Every single dish in my cabinet that was glass fell out and shattered on the ground while I was standing in the living room. I HEARD IT. Tornado siren is going off outside and I am sitting inside reading a book. I did not hear it. My right ear is a little bit better! On that side even with my hearing aids out I can hear human speech! So a lot more noise range. But it doesnt make sense. And again it depends on the environment! But if you yell into my right ear then I can make out words depending. Again, on environment and the person. The ability to understand something depends on SO many factors. Environment, accent, and every thing in between. With my hearing aids in, well I can actually mostly pass as a hearing person. In one on one conversations I do decently well with a few mistakes a conversation but normally pretty easy to figure out "why do you want to go to canada" "no Krys we need to buy banana's." But if that person had an accent? (Basically anything I am not used to lip reading, so I am from deep south Texas yall.) So any other type of pattern of speech can be difficult. Spanish accents are the most common around here but any accent takes my understanding level way way down and I always feel so bad because sometimes if my server is from like somewhere in Africa and I can't understand her and ask her to repeat herself a lot she thinks I am bring racist and then it's a whole apology and trying to explain that I can't hear well and it can be quite a mess... another thing that can defeat me is facial hair! Anything that blocks the lips. Lots of Deaf people rely on a mixture of residual hearing and lip reading to understand spoken words. I am no different! So facial hair can just take me the fuck out. It is not that I don't want to understand there is just no longer the ability for me to gather the information I need in order to be able to put together the puzzle that is spoken speech! I am sure you can guess, but this is exhausting. And frustrating.

Do my HEARING AIDS EVER GET UNCOMFORTABLE??? YOU BET YOUR ROOTIN TOOTIN BOOTY THEY SURE FUCKING DO! God they itch something terrible, sometimes. They can cause frequent ear infection because your ears are not draining like they naturally do. Ear wax build up is a thing too! And that is not even talking about the weight of them. Most of the time it is fine. You get used to it. But sometimes rye weight just hurts. Sometimes, I will just like, pop them out and let them hang by the tubing I will post a picture to help you understand what I mean. It wont let me add right now but I will post it and tag you. And like I see Deaf people do that shit all the time. I actually learned to do it from my Mentor at a disability Advocates center I worked out before Trump cut the funding for Disabled individuals to have Advocates and I lost my fucking job. So fuck Trump. And we have not even started to cover auditory overstimulation and other things that cause pain.

Noises that annoy me???? Lol sometimes literally everything. From just casual talking to alarm tones. But this is kind of a trick question. When I am auditory overstimulated any noise can literally make me cry or cause me to develop severe pulsing headaches or migraines. Time to take them the fuck out for a goddamn break. But on the everyday normal side? That is going to depend on the person. I don't like noises that consistently cause feedback. Girls who talk in that high pitched "oh my god!" Rich girl valley girl type of speak quickly can cause me to end up overstimulated. Beeping noises for a period of time. I like to think that I am only annoyed by things that would annoy other people. But I shouted at my spouse for like rubbing a styrofoam cup the other day so idk. It was just a really grating noise and I was struggling. (I still shouldn't have shouted. I apologized. We talked about what was going wrong.) But yeah. I will post that pic and feel free to send me a personal message. I would love to help up and I don't mind reading scenes with your Deaf character to help make sure it is realistic and fits with the reality of being Deaf.

[dead-thorin]

some nice things happened this week. Wednesday was the department’s finals and i was rushing around and at one point i got to my desk and there was a gift. My friend got me smth for christmas and in the card she wrote consider this a birthday, christmas, thanks for everything u do for me gift and it was a chicken ornament :’)

On thursday one of the TAs brought his 7 month old daughter in and i got to hold her and she was literally so adorable. At one point, after she stopped being fascinated by the tree, she started getting upset bc she couldnt see her dad so my boss, who was holding her, walked to the copy room to show her where he was and she immediately stopped crying. Also, he’s a really funny and chill parent like idk how to describe it. She was wearing a jacket with the hood having like dinosaur scales on it and he and my boss took it off her so she wouldnt overheat. I helped him put it back on her and he, very calmly, was like and she doesnt like putting on clothes so shes going to go into a rampage. And as he strapped her to his chest and put on his own jacket he once again very calmly was like and shes gonna get overheated and go into a rampage again. he also joked about how toned and fit he was getting bc she likes it when he holds her in his hands and does squats bc of the movement

Three faculty members are expecting kids soon, with one of them being actually pregnant. I made them baby blankets and last week I started giving them to them. The one who is pregnant was like omg thats ridiculously sweet jordan im gonna cry and gave me a hug 😭Another one whos wife is expecting in early january thanked me and was a little awkward bc hes the type who doesnt know how to receive gifts, which like same. Today I ran into them as my friend and i walked into the supermarket and they were leaving. My friend saw them first and said hi and i noticed afterwards and was like hey! And his wife was like Oh! he made the blanket right? And when he confirmed she was like omg thank you so much that was so nice!!! I havent had the chance to make you a thank you card yet!! Also on Thursday i gave the last blanket and i didnt know how this guy was going to react bc hes very... stereotypically math. He hardcore cant make eye contact, he doesnt make conversation unless strictly necessary, and hes very awkward, nervous, and anxious. Over the semester I noticed that hes gotten better and like he still is nervous when talking but he talks a bit more and he makes way more eye contact. So I gave him the blanket and he was like ??? and i was like oh its a baby blanket! And he was like whos giving it??? and I was like Me? I made it for you since youre expecting a kid and he was like omg??? and he was super happy omg and we talked a little bit about it bc this is his first kid and he said he and his wife were a little bit nervous bc they didnt have family around since shes from china and hes from switzerland and i was like yeah but most of the people here have had kids so i think theyll help and he was like yeah but its still a little bit nerve wracking and i was like true true. He also was liek volunteering information instead of just strictly answering the question and idk this was the most hes spoken with me and it was super nice and pleasant. im really hoping i can see baby pics next semester 

Yesterday there was an end of semester party and i was hoping to spend at the most like an hour there since there were apparently gonna be a TA or 2 who didnt like me there and i just wanted to chat with a friend who graduated and one who was leaving next week. So I stayed there until 2am about and then we moved to the guy whos leaving’s house and stayed there until 4am and it was super chill. Most of the TAs were drunk too which was funny. But the highlight for me was that I got to chat with one of them who I only had a little bit of conversation with from time to time at the office and we talked for most of the party and it was super nice. He’s trying to find a job in the southeast bc his family lives there and we were talking with a TA and she mentioned like the perfect job position for him because its a good location and what he wants to do. It opened like 2-3 days ago? SO i took out my phone and started writing an email to him and asked her to repeat the job title and he was like what are you going to send this information to everyone? and i was like no? Im emailing it to you because youre at least a little drunk right now and might forget so this will be a reminder so u have this info later and can apply and he was like omg ur so nice and gave me like a bear hug. Also the guy who is leaving gave me a hug when i left his house and during the night he mentioned that i was invited to his wedding next year so thats cool. 

TAs have gotten exam results and one of them called me upset about it and we talked about it and she feels better about it now. At one point she was like Jordan youre so nice omg and i was like thanks i try and we talked for over an hour and it was nice. 

Yesterday i decided to take out my helix piercings because its been over 6 months (closer to 7 or 8 I think?) and they have had a bump on them since Ive gotten them. The hole is already closed and the bump is going down so thats good! It wasnt a lot of money and I might get it repierced but idk bc that was one of the more painful piercings and its annoying to soak. The rest of them are doing p well except my nostril has a little bump/scar? on it but hopefully thatll go away and it doesnt look bad. 

I got to pet 3 cats and 2 dogs this week and my friend gave me a jumpsuit that doesnt fit him! Hopefully next semester we can go to a club or smth and I can wear that. 

[dxmedstudent]

hi dx! I saw you've been on the dating scene recently. I wondered what apps you used or recommend for a smol shy female medic like me haha, hope it's all going well for you ❤️

I have! I wrote this out and it got eaten by tumblr.Whoops! General tips:1.  Check out my #dxdates tag, I have a ton of advice. 2. No matter which site you use, unless you run off with the first person you date, you’ll eventuallyrun out of people I wanted to meet; you’ll eventually exaust the people you think look vaguely nice whose profiles seem appealing, who you haven’t already been on a date with. So rather than flit between like 5 apps at once, take your time on one app. Get to know the people who seem worth knowing. Then if that’s not worked, try another pool, and then repeat. You can eventually move back to apps you’ve used before, because new users will come along, but a lot of the faces may be the same for a while. They might even be the same across multiple apps, for all I know.

3. Think carefully about your criteria. Who are you? What do you want in a friend and partner? The more you understand, the better the match you might find. 4. But for the love of god, keep criteria to the bare minimum. Similar interests? reasonable, of course; you’ll want to do stuff together and respect each others’ interests. But like, they really don’t have to look or act like every other person you’ve ever dated. don’t let your ‘type’ define you; it’s literally just a list of attributes of people you’ve liked before.

5. Stay safe. Don’t feel pressured into meeting anyone who makes you uncomfortable, or staying on an awkward date. Now, dating sites:I used match; it’s a paying site, so I reckoned that I’d get less creeps and dick pics and more people who took dating a little more seriously. A friend of mine met her partner there, so it seemed worth a try. I really liked that you can write quite a long blurb, so it’s really obvious when someone’s taken the time. Of course, the vast majority of users still put in absolutely minimal effort and were SO not the one, but hey, that’d be true anywhere. I can say that I met some perfectly nice people and started seeing a lovely person so it did its job. OKC has a large user base, and I’ve heard that it’s got a lot of options for LGBTQ users. It asks a lot of questions in order to match people. I think it’s a free site, and the free sites tend to be good for sheer volume of users.  Plenty of Fish is another one of the larger, free sites. I’ve heard that it has a good volume of users. Personally, I’m wary of free sites, because of the ease and anonymity they provide. Not everyone is respectful and well behaved, and the cynical side of me likes paying sites because it forces people to care about their actions if they have something to lose. hat won’t stop some guys being nasty (though they might be less likely to pay for a site if they are nasty enough to get banned a lot), but it might discourage them from disrepsectful behaviour if they have to pay for membership, again. People have nothing to lose from abandoning a free profile, after all. And I’ve seen some screencaps of some pretty appalling behaviour from men on free apps. So if you can pay, I think it’s probably worth it. Eharmony is another popular paid site. It apparently uses an algorithm to match users. It has a separate site for LGBTQ users. Like Match, it positions itself very much as being about the serious relationships. I prefer to peruse profiles myself rather than feel like algorithms are picking people, to be honest, but I think that might be a reasonable way of narrowing things down from literally thousands of people. I haven’t used it, so I can’t say if the algorithm is any good. Bumble sounds great if you’re a girl who likes making the first move. It has space for small blurbs.  I didn’t mind messaging first sometimes, but really, I’m not sure I could do it all the time by default, so I’m not sure if it’s good for shy introverts. But I imagine that does cut down on creepy messages from divorced 60 year olds who clearly haven’t looked at what you’re looking for and just indiscriminately message women 30 years younger than them. Hinge recommends people based on your facebook connections; it looks for friends, or friends of friends that you might have stuff in common with. One fo my friends met her BF on there. I didn’t know it existed, but I’m not sure I would have picked it; I don’t really want to date within medicine, and that’d be most of my social circle, and most of my friends’  friends, no doubt. I don’t really want any of my dating profiles to have my facebook information. I hear Coffee Meets Bagel also does something similar? I’m not entirely sure. I couldn’t personally use Tinder; I don’t like swiping faces, and it’s got a rep for being a hookup app where I am. But a lot of people use it, and I’m sure some people have had success with it. It matches you to people who are local and also matched you back There are some more gimmicky dating sites out there. People told me to try elite singles; but I ever really felt like I wanted to differentiate myself based on profesion. I don’t need to be with some top exec; I just want a date who likes me and treats me well.  I wouldn’t dream of hitting a religious dating site; I might be Christian, but I’m almost bordering on godless scientist some days (My mum’s words, incidentally), and I’d worry that most people on there are pretty religious, and I am not. Hope this helps, if anyone has any useful advice, feel free to add!

[neopuff]

I wanna know what happened to your boss who stole your identity... if you feel like sharing you should make posts about it

i cant believe i woke up to over 20,000 notes on that fweiougbwe;goew OK HERE im gonna do this like a reddit relationships thread:

players are: B (boss/thief 27F), C1 (coworker 59F), C2 (coworker 40sF), and me (24F). not a lot.

i worked with B and C1 at Claire’s for well over a year. they knew i had money and yeah i’d let them borrow money to help pay their rent/car payments/etc and C1 always paid me back within a month but B always was like “ill pay you back soon” which was like ok its fine dont stress just…we have an ongoing relationship so i foolishly doubted she was going to steal from me right in front of my face lol

then B quits Claire’s and starts working at Express, promises me a great job at Express to the point where i’ve applied and filled out paperwork (yknow with my drivers license and my SSN) but that job never happened cuz B quit working there. (this is when B opened her first credit card using my information, for Express! which is a crazy expensive clothing store.)

B gets a job at Sally Beauty and tells me i should come work there (this is in july). well, i’m in grad school and i wasn’t going to work for the month of August cuz of friends coming to visit but i was like sure ill work extremely part-time at a store for hair and makeup since i know literally nothing about hair and makeup. C1 was also asked to come work there since the Claire’s we all used to work at was shut down (bankruptcy lol)

things are going fine for a while, C2 is working at Sally’s now too (she’s B’s aunt and they live together.) in September my parents bought a new house 5 and a half hours away and they ask me to house-sit until they move in, so obviously im gonna do that, so i give my two weeks (i gave more like a month but w/e) and on the day before i leave B calls me and says the reason i havent been getting paid by direct deposit is because they never got my drivers license photo. i say thats weird, did they lose it? and she says they mustve so i send her a pic of my license. cuz obviously i wont be in town to pick up my check so i need direct deposit.

ok so fast forward to this monday, C1 calls me and it starts off normal like “hi how are you howve you been” and then shes suddenly like “i have something important to tell you.” and she says C2 saw mail at her and B’s house with my name on it! C2 was complaining about it at work and C1 was like “wtf?” and thought that was suspicious and told me about it. shes like “make a creditkarma account and you can see any credit cards under your SSN”

i go to make a creditkarma account and weirdly enough theres already one under my SSN! and the email is literally [B’s last name][B’s first name]@outlook.com. she wasnt even being subtle or smart. she really thought i’d just never look or wouldnt care???? i dont KNOW.

so obviously i call all the credit report places and im like freeze everything and put fraud alerts on everything!! and i blocked B’s phone number and i blocked her on facebook cuz even if she had an explanation i genuinely wouldnt care at this point

i went to another credit report site for the details and B not only took out a $5000 loan (she bought a new car recently so probably for that), but she opened 7 other credit cards and applied for 25 others. she started this the DAY i left! theyre mostly credit cards for banks but theres the express card, a target card, a disney card????????? also B put her actual phone number and address into the system so theres no doubt that its her.

and then C1 calls me again to tell me that B quit her job at Sally Beauty less than an hour ago and im wondering if she knew i knew or coincidence? since B steals from companies she usually only works at each one for a few months each

so ok, tuesday morning i call the police and then i have to call every single bank and credit union to cancel these stupid fucking cards. i was on the phone for 6 hours (wouldve been longer but i had my online class) just repeating the same info over and over again. and then the police call me back like “so we just spoke to B, she played dumb for a bit but then confessed to everything” and that was a HUGE relief except that i still have 12 more card applications to cancel. cop said “she didnt really have an explanation other than she’d fallen on hard times” and i just…….dont care especially when she quits every job shes store manager of after less than a year. and yea she has two kids and a bum husband and a supportive close family

and it’s now wednesday afternoon cuz i slept thru the morning but i have to call all these other places AND i’m gonna have to drive 5 and a half hours back to my hometown for court sometime in the next two weeks. plus i have to fill out like 30 affidavits for all these banks and credit unions and give them the police report so they know im not lying

also my credit score has gone down significantly because of that Express card she got in March (she’d been doing minimum payments allowed so i wouldnt get notified despite racking up $475 at this one ugly store)

in less than a month she opened $20,000 worth of credit and spent $8400 of it. and since she just QUIT her job i can assume she wasnt planning on paying off any of that debt lol

anyway that’s where i’m at now, i dont know if shes going to jail or what. she sure as hell cant pay any fines. PLUS she already owed me $450 and i was gonna cut her some slack on it but now i want my $450 back lmao

[in-her-wildest-dreams]

MY LA SECRET SESSION EXPERIENCE!

Background:

So Taylor’s been following me for over 2 years now and she’s showed up for me somewhat regularly ever since she followed me which I’m incredibly grateful for (like INCREDIBLY). When she did secret sessions last era, I didn’t even have a fan account for anything and I got all the news off insta and my best friends in real life @thislove-brittany and @thosegeorgiastars13 when we would come into school and talk about how some extremely lucky fans got to go into her home and hang with her for hours on end. At that point we all almost had to laugh because we live in Australia and we weren’t known AT ALL by Taylor and we just told ourselves it was such a far fetched dream it was ridiculous… Fast forward a few months later that next year in 2015, when Taylor followed me – I believe to this day she saw a photo of B, G and I posing as Bad Blood characters, and she followed me from that. So basically the first memory I have of Taylor acknowledging my existence was shared with my 2 best friends, but let me now continue with the story….

 On the 1st of January this year, I wrote this post: 

About 4 weeks ago, things at uni went downhill and I had quite literally hit rock bottom in terms of my stress and my future regarding uni. At the same sort of time Taylor had started joining people’s livestreams but she would do so between the hours of 3-7am Australian time so I just kept waking up to her lurking people and watching their lives while I had zero chances in the first place and it was there and then that I thought to myself ‘I’m never meeting her, I have negative hope that I’ll ever meet Taylor” and basically I spent a few days not logging in very much because I was so upset about everything and just didn’t want to bother. But then I started having so many fun events like friends and family birthday parties over those next few weekends and life felt a bit better. During one of those weeks, Taylor had seen 2 or 3 of my tumblr posts where I complimented people’s selfies and it hit me then that good things were still coming and that she still probably maybe had her eye on me (but it was still just wishful thinking). Then London SS happened and my best friend from England, Katy aka @ethereal-swiftness ended up meeting T and I’d sent her an ask about keeping the secret and Taylor saw that a day later and once again I really started to feel things again and it was almost as if right then I knew something was coming for me – like I just knew.

 Getting Contacted by TN

So it was Wednesday morning on the 18th of October, 5.36am, when B and G texted me about 23 times in a row with messages like “EMENME” “CHECK TUMVLT NOW GO DHCIENEONC DO IT CHEJCK IT” “WE GOT THE SMEDSAHE” so naturally I nearly fell out of my bed because yes, in fact, my 2 best friends in real life had both individually received a confidential message from TN and so I went to check my tumblr and there was nothing there so I was worried at first, but I know they always take a while to send each one out, and once again, by my own intuition, I just knew I was getting one, and knew somehow that all of us were going to meet her together at some point – we’d been on countless walks by the beach all year dreaming about the day we’d meet T together, and I just knew in my heart it would happen for us all – and so I had to go to uni that day so I was checking my messages every other minute of the day, and I got home in the afternoon and had a nap because I was physically exhausted LOL. Next minute I realise its nearly 6pm and I was getting ready for dinner, and out of nowhere, my subconscious mind decided that I’d click on my twitter app, which I genuinely barely EVER touch these days - I hadn’t touched it in days, but somehow my mind told me to click on it in that moment, and the second I logged in there was one new message, and there it was. I screamed so loud and started shrieking, running over to mum and dad and yelling at them – they were very very excited because I’d told them about the girls getting one that morning!!! I couldn’t believe they’d sent it via twitter as my main account is tumblr and I was expecting it to come from there but hey then I realised how shifty Taylor is and she probably gave them my twitter because its in my tumblr bio (!!!!!!) (TN don’t follow me on twitter either). They asked for my details in the message. Anyway so it hit me that night that I was officially meeting Taylor anytime in the next 2 weeks or so and I remember proper crying in the shower that night (I never cry properly like I just don’t do it?!!!!) because it was just a shock and it couldn’t have come at a better time honestly and it all just hit me so hard. So anyway the next day I was writing my notes for uni and at about 1pm, I got a call from a New York number and I knew instantly it was TN. I think it may have been Sierra but I honestly can’t remember LOL so the first thing she said was “I understand this may be a bit of a flight…” and in the moment I was like ‘yeah no Sydney or Melbourne is nothing for me’, expecting the event was to be held in Australia LOL, but the next thing she said was “So there’s actually going to be an event in the Los Angeles area on Sunday” and I straight away said “wait you mean this Sunday?!!!” and she said “Yes like in 4 days Sunday, yes in Los Angeles, now I know this is a lot and you may not be able to come but at this stage there’s nothing else on the cards, and we do have your details now and we can send you some things in the meantime” so I said “okay okay can I just call you back so I can sort some things out, can I please just call you back” and she was fine with that and so I hung up and told Mum instantly and then called Dad and he was so happy for me that he was already helping me look up next day flights! So low and behold, within the hour, I ended up booking flights myself and getting in contact with the girls so we could sort out similar flight times and hotels etc, and TN called me back and I told them it was a ‘go’ and that’s the story of how I was suddenly about to fly to LA with one days’ notice to meet Taylor Swift LOL. So basically I had to spend the next few days making up (very) lame excuses to you guys online as to why I wasn’t posting at my usual times and it was the hardest secret I will ever have to keep OH. MY. GOD.

 Arriving in LA

So Friday morning LA time I arrived and met up with the girls straight away at the airport luckily, and we made our way to our hotel. Of course because we were all on a 13+ hour flight, we missed the release of ‘Gorgeous’ and we knew we had to learn the lyrics before Sunday LOL so it was on repeat for 48 hours straight and we were loving every moment of it. We had an amazing 2 full days exploring LA and doing fun things, knowing how excited we were for Sunday’s adventure!!!

Meeting Taylor

In no time it was Sunday the 22nd October, aka the day we were meeting Taylor Swift in her LA home. (!!!!!!) We had to go out shopping in the morning to find a frame for B’s painting she was doing for T, and then we probably spent the rest of the day in the hotel with ‘Gorgeous’ on repeat getting prepared to actually get ready LOL. By 12pm we started doing our makeup and hair because we didn’t want to rush the process or anything, and honestly soon enough it was already 3.30pm and we were downstairs taking photos and vlogging, about to hop in an uber to take us to the meeting spot (!!!!!!). So we get there and walk inside to where TN directed us, fill out some details and get our wristbands (!!!!!) and suddenly I recognise this girl with dark hair and a stripy dress, and I just kNEW straight away it was Bella aka @swiftful-thinking13 but I had that fear it wasn’t so I waited a bit longer to properly check and it was DEFINITELY her LOL so we were all kind of standing in a circle and I just looked at her and went “Bella… Bella… BELLA” and she dead set looked at me in complete and utter shock for god knows how long (there were no words coming out I kid you not) and so then and there we both ran into a hug and she basically started crying, saying “THIS IS BETTER THAN MEETING TAYLOR SWIFT I CANT BELIEVE YOU’RE HERE IN LA WTF MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE I LOVE YOU” and literally until we actually got on the shuttle she was in disbelief and none of us could quite believe what was happening LOL (I knew ALL ALONG she was gonna be there, may I add, I KNEW it).

This is a pic of Bella and I basically as soon as we met!!

Anyway among all this chaos, someone informed me that @ohkimani just rolled up and I legit stood up, looked around and went “KIMANI” and there she was in front of me and yeah that was casual, considering I was supposed to meet both these girls in a few months time when I’m back in LA!!! So we took some photos, had a good chat, and I also met Paige!! ( @heypay ), and waited around until it was time for us all to get on the shuttles to the ‘secret location’.

Kimani, Bella and I!                             

 It was about 6pm or so when our group got on the shuttle after a security check, and I sat next to Bella, while B and G sat right behind us, and we spent the entire ride basically holding each others hands crying, knowing that we were minutes away from Taylor Swift’s house (!!!!!!). So we roll up to her place, the gates open and it felt like I was in wonderland in that moment, I’m telling you it was indescribable. We had to have another body check when we got off the shuttle, and we were then told to stand against the wall. On my way to the wall, I saw what looked like her guest living area all lit up with about 20 candles sitting around a bench LOL, and then there was an archway next to the wall to the backyard that was surrounded by fairy lights!!!!!!!! So in the few minutes we waited for everyone to get off the bus, we started hyperventilating and going into panic mode like I think I said to Bella about 20 times in a row that I wanted to turn around and leave because it felt fake and I got so scared suddenly that we were about to be in Taylor Swift’s presence (!!!!!!!!). 

Anyway soon enough I think it was Erica who escorted us through to the backyard, and into the pool area where the first group were mingling. All the food was set up on tables around the pool area and I just about lost my entire soul in that moment…. It was like a scene from a Hollywood movie like her location is divine!!!! and just sitting around her pool eating her food was a feeling I could never ever ever describe to you…ever. I had a plate with hommus and carrots because a lot of you know I can’t live without hommus LOL, and I had some olives, a REP cookie, REP m&m’s, a sushi roll thing, chips, and of course, a SMART water hehe. When we went to sit down by the jacuzzi, ‘Fire Away’ by Chris Stapleton started playing, and Bella and I just looked at each other in disbelief because in that moment everything was perfect, and we were listening to such a chilled, country song as the sun set in the most beautiful way over LA on a warm autumnal night at Taylor Swift’s house. It was there that I think we both just cried, like we’d met for the first time at Taylor Swift’s house and we’d already felt like best friends and it all came full circle, and I looked at B and G and went, guys this just isn’t real, its not… how did we fly here, I can’t believe life right now. That moment is a memory I’ll treasure forever and I truly could not have felt more content with my life – everything felt perfect. So we were waiting until the other groups arrived, and suddenly I saw Tree turn up so I went over and while she was chatting to other people, @teardropsonsmyguitar came over to me and said “OH MY GOD I KNEW I RECOGNISED YOU OH MY GOD EMILY HEY” and I was like oh my gODDD girl, remind me your username again!!!! And she told me and I knew it was Kaitlyn straight away and she told me I was beautiful etc and just about cried then too because I felt closer than ever to everyone there even though I was oceans away from home! Finally Tree turned to us and she said “So where are you guys from?!” and B, G and I said together “Australia!” and she goes “wOW WOW oh my GOD what part?!” and we said Gold Coast and she was so enthused and ecstatic for us and then I asked her how her cat is going and she told us a cute little story and it was adorable hehe and then we spoke more and she had to go and check on something and left. I also finally got to meet my Aussie gal @screamedsooloud and her sister during that time and we were talking about the fact that none of us knew if any other Aussies were gonna be there and omg Dani is truly as funny as you see online LOL. 

Anyway soon after, we were escorted back up to the house, into a small living area with candles lit everywhere and soft pillows/blankets all over the floor. I was so mesmerised by everything that I wasn’t paying attention to where B and G were and suddenly they said “EM, come over here!!!” and I turned around and saw a red chair with speakers either side and I knew EXACTLY where homegirl was about to be sitting, so somehow we ended up smack bang at the front of the room, less than 1m away from the chair. We then spent a solid 10 minutes screeching and crying to each other, knowing Taylor Swift was about to sit less than a f*****g metre away from us for 2 hours (!!!!!!!!!!!!). So yeah all of a sudden, there was commotion at the back of the room, and Taylor Alison Swift appeared through the curtain, and the whole room turned into madness and hysteria holy christ, but no apparently that wasn’t enough – two of the HAIM sisters are right behind her, as well as Jack Antonoff, Ruby Rose, Jessica Veronica (I think), Ash Avignone, and someone else and the whole room went into riot (!!!!!!) Taylor made her way to the front, hugging some people along the way, including B, to which T said “YOU MADE IT!”, knowing we came from Australia (????!!!!!!!). So there we were, less than a metre away from Taylor Swift herself, trying to act like we were somewhat alive in that moment. She looks very different in real life I found I don’t know she just looked so beautiful and perfect in every way and she was wearing high waisted camo pants with huge boots and a long sleeved black crop with her curly hair and red lips!!! I won’t talk now much about what happened in that room, but I WILL say I had a dance party with her and she came over to us and fully had a proper dance sesh and it still just felt like a dream. Throughout the playing of the album, she looked at me so intently so many times that I felt like I had to look away at times because she truly does stare into your soul like its mesmerising WOW. Anyway when (my now favourite song) was playing, I started crying instantly and I saw that she was watching me at times, and by the last verse, Bella, me, B and G had all lost it, laughing and crying at each other, having the absolute time of our lives, and T watched us, smiling and miming the lyrics to us the whole verse and that was by far probably the happiest moment of my life, it was just a feeling you could not put into words – it meant everything and it couldn’t have been more perfect, she made that song extra special for me and I’ll have that memory to hold onto forever. We also fully bowed down to her like you actually would to Queen Elizabeth, because hey she IS a queen, and it was so funny LOL. 

Once she’d kinda finished up with that part of the night, she told us she had to go de-sweat and freshen up because that LA heat with 100 of us in a small room was really getting to everyone and so we kinda mingled and went for a bathroom rush to freshen up ourselves before we started the meet and greet/photo opportunity. We went to what was probably her guest bathroom, as the house is still in renovation and there were actual notes on the wall saying ‘wallpaper’ etc like it was legit in mid renovation so it was exciting to know that she told us we were the first official ‘guests’ in this home?!!!! And then we got back into the room and mingled while people started forming a line to the next room where she was about to take photos and meet us! It was probably about 45 minutes later, after lots of crying and talking and general disbelief, that we were about to walk over and hug Taylor Swift – ‘Malibu’ by Miley Cyrus was playing right before we met her and I could not have been happier I swear. 

Brittany went over first and she hugged her so tight, and then T looked at me like ‘HEY!’ and we hugged (absolutely magical hugs they are), and then G hugged her. The first thing I said was “okay so we got told on Thursday and booked next day flights over here” and she said instantly “look I still can’t believe you guys made it like I can’t believe it WOW!” and then I think we spoke a bit more about it and she said “so Ali texted me before saying ‘The Australians are here!’ and I was so excited and I can’t believe you’re actually here!” And B said something like “of COURSE we’re here we wouldn’t miss it!!!” and then I think we must have taken the photo and I was like “Can I hold the Grammy” and she was like “uhhh yeaahhhhhhh” and I asked her which Grammy it was to which she said “1989 AOTY” and so there I was holding her latest Grammy in her house, just casually. I gave it to B to hold, and then held it again on the throne that we sat on in the photo LOL, and she gave G the phone from the LWYMMD music video that she danced with earlier LOL. So we all sat down and then T leaned in from the side and I think she put her arm around B and before I could even orientate myself nicely they’d already taken the photo LOL so I’m worried how that will turn out…. So then we all spoke a bit more and I asked her how the cats were and she said “yeah they’re doing really well at home now, although they did have a fight today” and she showed me the scar on her finger LOL, and then she said “but Meredith’s been so good lately, she’s been behaving and she even purred” and I think I just laughed and said ‘yeah purring’s always a good sign’ or something stupid, and then I complimented her black sparkly nails and she pulled them out towards us and said “aww thanks, do you like them? I did them today!” and then we must have said again that we couldn’t believe we were really there and she said “guys I just cannot believe you made it, thank you so much” and then the girls walked away because everyone seemed to go as a group first and then allow each person to have a one on one with Taylor. So suddenly it was just me and Taylor and I think the first thing we did was get a photo and so I said “okay what should we do” and she was like “I don’t mind, whatever you want” and so I quickly said “lets just hug” because I always wanted a cute hugging photo so we just locked ourselves in a hug, and JUST as the photographer was about to take our photo, they had to walk away and change something, so in any normal situation I thought T would let go and just wait, but she LITERALLY KEPT HUGGING ME in that position and I nearly died I was in shock but also felt so loved in that moment and I said “oh my god you smell AMAZING” because we were literally THAT close her scent was fully rubbing off on me and she smelled DIVINE like my gOD !!!!!! And she said “awww thanks” and then I think we finally got our photo, and then started talking more. The first proper thing she said was “oh my god I LOVE your dress so much, wow, its like perfect for like a more important, special type of occasion, like a first date, you know what I mean?!” and I just lost it then wow. I think after that I mentioned how thankful I am for all the tumblr friends I’ve made and how supportive we are online and she said something like “awww yes it’s the most beautiful thing” and then I mentioned Akhila ( @smilingswiftie ) and how she told me she was meeting T beforehand and then I realised I probably shouldn’t have told Taylor that so I quickly said “don’t worry, I kept the secret!!” and she turned back and cackled LOL I found it pretty funny and then she ACTUALLY SPOKE ABOUT AKHILA and said “oh my god she’s so pure and adorable and I didn’t want to let her go” and I said “yeah she’s so beautiful” and then I mentioned how Mere  ( @lifeofswiftie89 ) had mentioned Jess ( @jessicaswiftie1989 ) and I (my OG group chat) at the RI ss and she interrupted and said “ah Meredith with the cats” and nodded and said “yeah yeah” before I finished Jess’s name and she fully knew them as she apparently did when Mere mentioned Jess and I to her (?!!!!!) so yeah that happened and she knows a LOT of people I tell you… And then I think she was just standing there and I remember looking up and saying “you’re GORGEOUS” because I wanted to sneak in the ‘gorgeous’ reference LOL, and she stepped back and did that cute little smile of hers and said “thanks GORGEOUSSSSSSS” just like she sings it in the song (!!!!!!) and then I probably said for the millionth time that I couldn’t quite believe I was there and she said for the millionth time “I can’t believe you’re here thank you so much for coming!!” and then she had the AUDACITY to say so casually like so casually I almost died, that “you were on the list ages ago, I’m so sorry they took so long!” and I think I just laughed in shock and went “well I can’t BELIEVE I’m here, thank you so much” and then I think she hugged me again and we said our goodbyes and it was B and G’s turn to speak with her. I got my merch bag and Ali wanted me to wait for the girls because they wanted to interview us about coming all this way…. And then soon enough we were escorted out the side door and back onto the bus and I basically wanted to cry then LOL and so that was the story of how I flew 13 hours across the world with 3 days notice to meet Taylor Swift in LA with my 2 best friends!!!!!!!

Timing really is a funny thing, and it all just so happened at quite honestly the most perfect time ever. This year I have felt more confident than ever, and most content with myself and my life and I feel like the best things happen when you’re at your best and that’s why meeting her when I did couldn’t have possibly come at a better time – just know that good things come to those who wait, and you’ll know when you know, I promise. Never ever ever give up. 

And so to end the story, on October 22nd 2017, this happened:

thank you endlessly from the bottom of my heart for the opportunity of a lifetime, and for giving me a memory I will NEVER forget as long as I live, Taylor, you’re truly the best there is :’)

[maspwinj2]

 so i had this angry anon sending me 4 messages the other day so i guess im gonna answer, i mean as much as it is possible to answer those kinds of messages you know

anyway anon, i hope that you’ve calmed down a bit, ate some snickers and shit

i’ll do it bit by bit

“Okay I get it, you really believe and have "profs" and everything about Jared and Jensen being together in a romantic relationship, fine, you ship them.”

 well that’s the first sentence and you already show that no, you do not get it lol

cos you’re making it sound like i only tinhat j2 cos i ship them when it’s the complete opposite actually, it’s only months after i discovered that j2 were together, and learned during all those months what great guys they are and how much their love is real and beautiful and inspirational that i finally started shipping them sooo yeah don’t call me a j2 shipper because not all j2 shippers are tinhats and the j2 shipping hets are the most disgusting pieces of shit cos they fantasize and over sexualize gay relationships WHILE erasing those relationships in real life, they use j2′s blatant love for each other as fuel to wet their panties but refuse to acknowledge it’s real, it’s so fucking disgusting so yeah don’t put me in the same bag as those people, im not just a shipper thank you

“What I don't get is why does it matter so much to you? I've seen your blog and literally all you talk/answer questions about is whether their wives conceived in this way or the other and saying things about two man in a relationship that you honestly don't know anything about?”

well j2 are my favs so... i care about them, what the fuck is you problem dude this blog’s whole purpose is to talk about j2 related stuff, have you been living under a rock??? people gossip about actors and famous people since forever and i know more about j2′s lives than i know of my own family members, that’s just what happens when you’re interested in something/someone: you try to get as much information as possible!!! wake up!

and i’ve looked at my last 20 posts and at least 15 of them are asks, i mostly answer asks around here so if you have a problem with the topics you should send your complaints to the anons ok?

“And yes I get that you are going to insult me for this” 

well actually no im not cos you’re embarassing yourself enough as it is i don’t wanna shoot on the ambulance

“I'm not saying this for YOU I'm saying this because of them. Would you like having someone like you talking and making assumptions about your life or your love life in the EXACT same way your are doing in here?”

oh boy look at this, this is j2′s white knight in shining armour right here, protecting them from people daring to gossip!!!! and what a vile crime that is!! buddy there are people out there actually insulting directly on SM jared and jensen over anything and everything everyday, so i can assure you, people like me, who just say their wives are beards on our private accounts really aren’t the problem and you should go somewhere else and protect j2 from actual harmful people instead of wasting your time here

“Because yes, you can ship 2 people and all...”

again as is said earlier me tinhatting j2 isn’t about shipping, and i think shipping 2 real people who aren’t together for real is disrespectful

so no actually you can’t ship 2 people who aren’t together, it’s gross imo but do i expect people to agree with me and stop writing RPF? no. do i send them messages to tell them how bad what they’re doing is? no. im not expecting anyone to go by my morals because guess what? morals vary a lot from people to people

and you actually believe it’s PERFECTLY FINE to write a 500,000 fic about jared and jensen fucking each other on set??? to write a fic about them getting raped tortured or whatever else awful things peole can think of??? you think people fantasizing about getting fucked by them is a-ok??? but me talking about their wives being beards (which is simply the truth btw) IS GOING TOO FAR??????? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING wtf is wrong with you??? 

so treating j2 like sex objects is morally ok but me talking about their real life is NOT????? 

im just..... 

and the worse is that you actually believe you are the better person here just oh my god.... whatever moving on

“but why do you have to involve the kids and everything in this?”

what the fuck did i say about the kids? do you think saying they were convinced via IVF is insulting? does science scare you that much? 

and i’d like you to note this: i’ve literally seen hets talking about danneel using IVF since they think she has some fertility problem, and since she got twins, they really believed she used that way. SO what you’re trying to say is that hets can talk about j2′s “wives” and kids without being disrespectful but SINCE IM A HAT I CANT DO THE SAME??? SERIOUSLY??? 

guess what, hats aren’t the only ones who analize j2s family, they aren’t the only ones who look for every new pics and info about them, they aren’t the only ones who gossip about them ok? 

“you are saying that 2 mature man are in a romantic relationship and they who KNOW are on 2017 and are extremely supportive of minorities and gay people, are hiding it so bad like to hire "fake wives" and kids”

uuuh do you actually believe that the only reason why j2 could be in the closet is because they are self-hating gays and they hate all all gays and are racists??? do you even look at what you write?

j2 are in the closet, not because they hate themselves, but because if they were out, spn and their career would be over! and you think they “hired” kids???? you don’t make any sense!

you’re just one of this person who don’t know anything about bearding and just fyi j2 aren’t an exception there are many many other gay people in hollywood who have fake relationships, and kids too! because gay people are actually allowed to have children! crazy right?

anyway im tired of answering that ask now, there was more but you’re just repeating yourself and like god:

“if you are going to ship them I think you should do it and not in the sick invasive way that you are doing it right now”

you really do not understand, making theories and making vids proving j2 lied ISN’T SHIPPING!!!!! it’s TINHATTING, ITS NOT THE SAME THING

if i was an active shipper, i would post fanfic recs, i would post headcanons and fanarts, do i do that? no! stop saying it’s shipping for fuck sake

oh god this anon was so dumb they have no idea what they’re talking about uuuuuuuuuuugh stupid people everywhere

and wait finally i’d like you to notice that those angry messages came in response to that ask  and as you can see, this anon was trying to convince me and manipulate me by using my own tweet into thinking j2 aren’t actually together but since it didn’t work they came back very angrily vomiting their real thoughts and my guess is that they were so angry because j2 LITERALLY HAD A DATE NIGHT RIGHT AFTER THEY SENT THAT ASK HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i bet they were so mad j2 were proving them wrong lmaoooooo

[noditchablepromdate]

Wales Comic-Con Dec 2017!

//So, as many of you will probably already be aware, I took off for the above-mentioned con on Friday with my partner in crime @respect-the-king. Actors were met. Photographs were taken. Cosplayers cosplayed. There was a minor case of stalking. It was an excellent time.

Extremely long and rambly story below the cut, complete with several photos!

Links to the cosplay photos I took here and here.

It did not start well. Friday was a very cold day.

Our first train was delayed by about 20 minutes, which led to us missing our connection and having to wait a good 45 minutes for the next train. And then we had to wait again at the second connection for a good 20 minutes. And all 3 trains were pretty much standing room only. And then when we got to Wrexham, where the con was being held, we had to wait AGAIN for a good 30 minutes or so for a taxi to get us to our hotel.

Which meant by the time we finally got to the hotel we were very, very tired and cold. XD We pretty much just had enough energy to thaw out, go get food and then fall into bed.

Saturday morning opened with Mark Pellegrino screeching “GOOOOOOOOD MORNING VIETNAAAAAAAAM!” courtesy of @respect-the-king’s phone alarm. My extremely eloquent response of “What the fuck?” was accepted as perfectly reasonable.

After a short while of stumbling around getting ready, we went to breakfast, where @respect-the-king got a little too into character flirting with Bobby. The conversation when Crowley disappeared and came back with a banana went as follows:

Crowley (peeling the banana): Reminds me of you, Robert, darling. Bobby (after a moment of stunned silence): ...Bit on the inadequate side, ain’t it?

Hysterical OOC gigglefit over, we returned to our hotel room so Bobby could put his beard on, and then set out to the con’s first day. This is what we looked like.

We spotted several amazing cosplays while queuing up to go in, including a handful of Deadpools, Thors and Wonder Women, plus Festive Negan complete with tinsel-wrapped Lucille. The crew had got into the festive spirit too - one guy had decided the only appropriate thing to do was shove his head into a plushie turkey and wear it on his head all day. XD

Once we actually got inside, we went to get our weekend wristbands and immedately got very confused... as the woman handing them out took one look at me and went, "BALLS!" This earned her a bewildered stare because I wasn't sure I'd heard her properly, and she repeated it a couple of times before adding "Bobby, right?" at which point I realised she was actually just saying Bobby's catchphrase at me. XD I confirmed that yes, indeed, she had ID'ed my cosplay, and she sent us off with a huge grin.

We tried to sign up for the cosplay competition, but were told signups wouldn’t be until Sunday morning. Undaunted, we set off to explore the area so we knew where everything was, and to kill time until our photo ops.

First photo op was with Mitch Pileggi (Samuel Campbell, Supernatural). I wasn’t sure what to expect, having never had a photo op before, but it was absolutely lovely. Queueing was efficient and relatively painless, and the man himself was very kind and friendly. He asked if my beard was itchy, and when I said no, his response was “Really? Mine is!”

He also said my cosplay looked great, before we had to scoot out of the way for the next people in the queue. @respect-the-king​ and I tried very hard not to squeak over this for the next half-hour or so, before she took off to have her photo op with Andrew Scott (Jim Moriarty, Sherlock).

Once those were done with and the photos collected (which was pretty much instantaneous - the guys in charge of prints were amazing!), we headed into the signing hall to get the pictures autographed. Mitch was lovely and even got up to give me a hug when I approached him ^_^ He signed my photo and my hunter's journal!

I also collected a few autographs in my hunter's journal from other guests I recognised (pics here). Said guests were:

- John Noble (Denethor, Lord of the Rings) who was very friendly, and when I told him it was my first time at a big con, shook my hand and said he was delighted to have been there for my first experience

- Chris Rankin (Percy Weasley, Harry Potter) who was thrilled that I was collecting autographs in an old-fashioned autograph-book way, as he hadn't seen that sort of thing for years

-Jed Brophy (Nori, The Hobbit, + numerous other roles in Peter Jackson films) who was absolutely thrilled with the effort I'd gone to with my beard (I took this as a massive compliment - many of his roles have involved heavy prosthetics, so he knows what it takes to apply false beards etc.)

- Kevin McNally (Joshamee Gibbs, Pirates of the Caribbean) who also complimented me on my beard

- Stanislav Yanevski (Viktor Krum, Harry Potter) who looked pretty worn out by the time I reached him but still had a smile and a handshake at the ready

I also had time to play one of my favourite games at a con - Find the Fudge-Man! This is a stall run by a couple who make home-made fudge and brownies to sell at cons all over the country, and they've been at so many of the cons I've attended that they recognise me on sight no matter what cosplay I'm in XD I bought about a kilo of assorted flavours of fudge from them this time. It's always soft and squidgy and really delicious.

Then it was back off to our final photo ops of the day - Corin Nemec (Christian Campbell, Supernatural) for both of us and Kristine Sunderland (Joyce Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) for @respect-the-king.

Corin was completely over the moon on seeing me! He absolutely had to have a little grope of the beard before the picture was taken, and told me I looked amazing :D He was so sweet and enthusiastic I just melted when he hugged me, before we had to move out of the way for the next people <3

We made some new friends in the queue for Kristine - a pair of ladies right in front of us who spotted me and were delighted to chat. One of them informed us that she had personally asked Jim Beaver if he'd be willing to come to next year's con, and got a reply from him saying he'd be more than happy to! We bonded immediately. XD

Once all our photos were done with, we headed back into the signing hall. Andrew Scott's queue was positively HUGE! So we circled the hall, poked around the stalls, and got a few other autographs. Corin got the biggest grin on his face when we showed up again and we spent a little while chatting to him while he signed my photo and journal... and then he insisted on giving us both a big hug before we left ^____^

@respect-the-king got a couple of autographs from actors I didn't recognise (she's seen a lot more than I have XD). But our best reaction of all came from Travis Aaron Wade (Cole Trenton, Supernatural). He practically bounced out of his seat on seeing the two of us show up at his signing desk, insisted on getting a selfie with us, and asked for a picture of me - and then promptly sent it to Jim Beaver, telling us "Jim's gonna love this!" while we tried not to giggle incoherently. XD

Once he hugged us and finally let us go, we went to get Andrew Scott's autograph and nearly got run over by an amazing Dean Winchester! Sadly we didn't get a pic as we were in the queue at the time, but we chatted for a while and agreed to meet up the next day.

We finally left the con about an hour before everything ended, worn out and delighted, and headed back to the hotel for an evening of eating fudge and watching Moana. I kind of accidentally got @respect-the-king hooked on the fudge I'd bought. XD

Sunday began with the terrifying strains of "HEEEEEEEEEEEEAT OF THE MOMENT" and only improved from there. XD

We went for breakfast at the hotel's restaurant again and just as we sat down to eat... who should walk past but Travis! He stopped short on spotting the pair of us and the first thing out of his mouth was "Hey! It's you guys! ...Where's your beard?!" at which I just kind of cracked up. @respect-the-king spent much of her time trying to process the situation (in fairness, she hadn't had her coffee yet XD) but we managed to talk for a couple of minutes all the same.

He was so lovely - it turned out he was there with a couple of fans who'd won a breakfast with him as a charity prize and he's been donating part of the money to a fund to help rescue dogs. He also informed us that he'd had a reply from Jim - who said he loved my cosplay! Officially endorsed by Jim Beaver, y'all! XD

We managed to get into the con without anyone yelling BALLS at us this time... but promptly got ambushed by an 11th Doctor/TARDIS duo for photos instead. XD We also spent some time chatting with a very festive Kaylee Frye!

We spent a while checking out the areas we hadn't managed to get to on Saturday, took more pictures of awesome cosplays, and then headed up for the only photo op we had on our schedule for the day - Sean Pertwee (Alfred Pennyworth, Gotham).

On the way there, we almost literally ran into Corin Nemec on his way back from his own photo ops... he stopped dead, gave us a huge grin, and the first words out of his mouth were "Did you SLEEP in that beard?!" (I think I may have accidentally discovered one sure-fire way to get the guests’ attention. They all went NUTS over my freaking beard. XD) He gave us both a huge hug before heading back to the signing area and left us both squeeing quietly in the middle of the road. I thought the day couldn't get any better!

Once we got back into the signing hall, we managed to find the demon!Dean we'd promised to meet, and she took us over to find the other two in her group, who had come as Sam and Mary. They did get a group shot, but alas - I didn't. XD

After that it was just a matter of idling away our time looking at stalls and cosplays, and rehearsing for the cosplay competition... and just as we'd taken a snap of a rather impressive Wolverine, we got literally ambushed by Travis yet again! He popped up behind us with a "Hi! Yeah, I'm stalking you guys! :D" and we both just about fell apart laughing XD He was incredibly sweet and happy to chat and seemed so pleased with himself for having run into us so many times.

When he finally had to disappear, one of the old-time crew members who was taking a coffee break wandered over and said he always enjoys working with the guests - he's worked so many cons he never really sees them as stars any more, just ordinary people. We mentioned Mark Sheppard and his reponse was "oh yeah, met him... he's a prick." He saw the looks on our faces and hastily qualified this comment with an explanation about Mark being incredibly sarcastic and prone to teasing fans, not actually a jerk. XD

And then we had to go for the cosplay competition.

It was a good time! There were some amazing cosplays, including an incredibly cute under-16 group Potter cosplay that included a Dobby who could just about toddle =3

I felt really confident when it came time for me and @respect-the-king to get up on stage and do our skit - but oh my gods! I goofed one word in my very first line and the rest of the skit was a thin veneer of calmly playing it out over sheer OH CRAP OH CRAP I MESSED UP... when I got back to my seat my hands were shaking from the rush of adrenaline and terror. XD

We didn't win, but it was fun to see the ones who did. A group Walking Dead entry, and a gorgeously crafted Edward Scissorhands ^_^ and we got complimented on the way out by a few people who really liked our skit!

Aaaaaaaaaand that pretty much brought Wales Comic-Con to a close... we did run into the cutest little Moana while waiting for a taxi, though.

All in all, it was an awesome weekend and I am really excited to go back in April for the 10th Anniversary!

[contradictoryenigmas]

2019 Postmortem: 10 Questions

2019 is coming to a close and it’s time to look back via ten questions. If you’re new to this series, I recommend checking out the ones I did in 2017 and 2018. While 2019 had its ups and downs, this was the first year where I can say it worked out quite well.

What made up your body of work this year? Which parts are you most proud of?

Most of the work that made up this year was with my new day job as a car specifications researcher. You may think that researching car specs would be easy, but I wasn’t fully prepared for how in-depth it would go. For example, I have to look up both the liters and cc’s of an engine to input into the system. Nevertheless, a lot of knowledge I had from writing reviews and previews has come in handy when trying to decipher what a company names a certain piece of tech or figuring out where to find that one piece of information.

As for my writing, I haven’t done much. Towards the end of last year and beginning of this year, I was feeling less enthusiastic about writing anything - feeling like I was phoning it in to get something up. When I started my new job back in mid-February, I took a break to try and give my brain a break from it. I have slowly dipped my toes back in it during the spring and summer, but started to do more towards the end of the year - a combination of writing for an internal news service my company offers and finishing a backlog of reviews. Writing is still a bit of struggle as my creative side of the brain is still running on fumes and I only get about a quarter to half-way on a piece before setting it aside, most likely not coming back to it.

There were a couple of pieces that did make their way out over the year and I’m quite proud of them.

Afterthoughts: The Sad Trombone of the 2019 Detroit Auto Show (Cheers & Gears): Some passing thoughts on what would be the final Detroit Auto Show held in January. It would be memorable for all of the wrong reasons and made me wonder what the future will hold as the show moves to the summer for 2020.

Three Years On, A Brain Dump (Contradictory Enigmas): Looking back at three years of this site, what has come, and what I had hoped to do in the coming year - sadly none of those items came to fruition.

What were your top 5 moments of the year?

Finally achieving a major goal of getting a job

Turing 30 years old

Beginning to make some progress on other major goals

Reducing my hermit tendencies and going to a small number of events

Continue working on giving me more space to relax

What are you really glad is over?

Uncertainty reared its ugly head again throughout the year. It ranged from whether I was the right person for the new job I had accepted to worrying about whether or not I would have enough money to cover unexpected expenses. Luckily, I remembered that if I took it slow and worked it out - whether through thought or writing it down - the uncertainty would begin to wither away.

How are you different today than you were 365 days ago?

The most difficult part of this year is trying not to feel like I need to constantly work. Being a full-time freelance writer for the past seven years left me with a routine of constantly being busy to try and keep myself afloat. Drew Magary on Vice sums it up quite well.

When you freelance, you know that every job is temporary. You might get paid well, but you can’t assume that will always be the case. I remember being pathologically incapable of turning down work when I freelanced. Every assignment I didn’t do was money lost. I felt as if I already HAD the money and was giving it away by not doing the work.

That meant I gleefully accepted multiple gigs at once, and on weekends, and over holidays. I can’t speak for other freelancers out there, but a kind of PTSD sets in if you do this long enough, where you always fear the faucet will be shut off with a cursory email from a temp boss or, worse, no emails of any sort. There’s such a short distance between “I freelance” and “I’m unemployed” that the two statements often feel indistinguishable.

Emphasis mine.

This feeling still resides in my head and constantly tells me that I should be doing some sort of work, even though I know that giving myself some breathing space is good. This wasn’t helped by my growing amount of work throughout the year as new hires that were brought in around the same time as me either decided to go with another career or were let go. Getting some of their workloads on top of mine meant the feeling of “when will I find the time” started to creep in. Only setting some ground rules did this alleviate this feeling somewhat. I’m hoping this feeling goes away as time goes on.

I mentioned last year that I was re-diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). At the time, I was seeing a psychiatrist and was on medication to help me control some of the various issues I’ve been dealing with. But a combination of the new job, not having the time to make the hour-long trek to see the psychiatrist, and the expensive cost of the medication meant I had to put a stop to this for the time being. This has meant a return of the various symptoms (being able to focus on one task, having my mind wander, forgetting various things, etc). It has also meant that it is hard for me to relax with anything for a few moments because it doesn’t provide my brain enough stimuli to keep me occupied. Oddly, doing work of some sort seems to provide stimuli. But it comes at the cost of me not being to relax.

Pic Credit: Pina ADHD_Alien

On the plus side, starting this new job has brought something that I wanted for some time - separate spaces. What I mean by this is having one space for my work (the office) and then another to relax (the house). Previously, I would be working on stuff in the same room where I would sleep, causing all sorts of anxiety and feelings that I should be working on. Having that separation allows me some breathing space, despite that being somewhat difficult.

It’s also nice having a steady income and not one that is a roller coaster of sorts. Various amounts of money coming in at different times gave me a lot of stress. Moving to something that follows a regular pattern not only gives me a bit of breathing room for anything unexpected but also allows me to plan out new ideas and trips,

To cap off this section, I’m glad that I’m still involved in covering the automotive industry. I have dialed it back by a large amount, but I think this may be for the better as it means I can take more time and produce higher-quality pieces.

Is there anything you achieved that you forgot to celebrate?

Nothing that I can think of.

What have you changed your perspective on this year?

Talking about my mental health in public. I’ve been slowly talking about how I have both ADHD and clinical depression on various forums after seeing a number for friends and people who admire talk about it. I’m still in a grey area of how much I should reveal and whether it is worth it. I can see there is a lot of good as you see other people come out of the woodwork and reveal some of the issues they’re dealing with. But some don’t believe mental illness is a thing or will go out of their way to make it worse. This is a balancing act that I’m trying to figure out.

Who are the people that really came through for you this year?  

A lot of the people that I work with at my job. Whether it be the various supervisors that would take time to answer a question I’m sure they have been asked countless times, to the other researchers who I might help with a quick issue or chit-chat about whatever, they have all played a part in making me feel welcomed.

What were some pieces of media that defined your year?

The Heavy, Sons: It has been a long time coming for the group’s latest album and it is very much worth it. All of the traits that I like about their previous albums such as the gritty sound and soulful lyrics are present. Heavy for You, their first single off this album has been on constant repeat.

Choom, Progger: I can’t explain why this dark jazz-funk-rock hybrid song just clicked with me. Maybe its how all of the instruments are arranged to provide a dark mood in one part, and then rise with something lighter later on. All I know is this song helped out in some bleak times during this year.

Nintendo Switch: An early Christmas gift to myself, I’m surprised at how much I have been playing. It is cool to play something on the TV and then undock it to continue playing while on the move. This has captured the magic and fun that I had been missing on playing video games throughout the year. So far, I have beaten Super Mario Odyssey and will be checking out Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening.

What will you be leaving behind in 2019?

The feelings of not being able to fully plan out stuff. Since starting the new job, I have been able to make slightly more concrete plans to ideas or items that I want to do soon. Some of these have come fruition, while others are still in the planning stages. This may not seem like a big accomplishment, but considering that the past few years where it mostly treading water and putting off various items because of one thing or another, it is a huge weight off my back.

What do you hope to accomplish in 2020?

There are two items that I want to work on writing and photography. I’ve been feeling either drained or hit a wall in terms of knowledge and want to expand it more.

For my writing, I want to try and recapture some of the fun and creativeness that I had when I first started many moons ago. I have some books including The Writer’s Way that has been recommended by a few people to help rekindle this. I’m also wanting to do other writings such as doing some history pieces, and more stuff on this blog. But of course, trying to find the time to do this will be one of the challenges.

As for the photography, I’m planning on doing some sort of online course and some reading to help me understand basic photography ideas, along with exploring various settings on my DSLR. I tend to shoot mostly in Auto without the flash and while it does deliver decent photos, I know that it is capable of more. I’m also wanting a new camera, a prosumer point-and-shoot to expand the possibility of taking more photos.

There are some long-term goals sprinkled in here such as working towards moving out of my parent’s house into my place. I have started saving up a fair amount of cash to cover a security deposit and a month’s rent, but I’m trying to aim for at least two to three months of rent to give a bit of a cushion. Also taking some sort of vacation is in the cards. Not sure where I want to go, but I do know it will be out of state.

That’s a wrap for this year’s postmortem. 2019 wasn’t a complete mess and hoping 2020 continues that trend.